hexjumper
+1 -0
Sugar Hammer would be a great name for an 80's heavy metal band.
Sugar Hammer would be a great name for an 80's heavy metal band.
rascaldom
+0 -0
I meant to try all the different combinations on the list, but I just kept getting stuck on "Sugar Finger" and how unappetizing it was to say.
I meant to try all the different combinations on the list, but I just kept getting stuck on "Sugar Finger" and how unappetizing it was to say.
clever-nickname
+2 -0
Fuck Sugar Finger, Cream Mouth is way worse.
Fuck Sugar Finger, Cream Mouth is way worse.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Pudding Hammer is kind of graphic as well.
Pudding Hammer is kind of graphic as well.
fablesandblues
+11 -0
These two lists have ruined my day. And pudding hammer has just made it terrible.
In the one sense, I keep thinking of enormous screenings of very graphic gay porn, which I don't object to in spirit, but the overwhelming visual is not leaving my mind. I am left bug-eyed and nauseas.
The other pudding hammer I am thinking of is a giant wooden hammer just whaling on a snack-pack, Gallagher-style. Gallagher-style is never a style anyone should aspire to, in imagination or otherwise.
This is a bad day. Pudding Hammer has made this a bad day.
These two lists have ruined my day. And pudding hammer has just made it terrible.
In the one sense, I keep thinking of enormous screenings of very graphic gay porn, which I don't object to in spirit, but the overwhelming visual is not leaving my mind. I am left bug-eyed and nauseas.
The other pudding hammer I am thinking of is a giant wooden hammer just whaling on a snack-pack, Gallagher-style. Gallagher-style is never a style anyone should aspire to, in imagination or otherwise.
This is a bad day. Pudding Hammer has made this a bad day.
davey-boy
+2 -0
Let Sherry Kisses make it better.
Let Sherry Kisses make it better.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I kinda like Pudding Schwanz
I kinda like Pudding Schwanz
dangelder
+1 -0
akarroa
+0 -0
Pudding Hammering in progress...
Pudding Hammering in progress...
fablesandblues
+0 -0
um
gross
um
gross
trivialpursuits
+0 -0
I second that motion, these lists are plainly awful. The alt-text is right, if you can read past that first box (pudding lips) congratulations.
I second that motion, these lists are plainly awful. The alt-text is right, if you can read past that first box (pudding lips) congratulations.
deusoma
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure he meant the first box in the flowchart, and being able to get past the mental image of Pat wanting to have sex with you.
I'm pretty sure he meant the first box in the flowchart, and being able to get past the mental image of Pat wanting to have sex with you.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
If the chart could be done differently, maybe by some sort of Bizarro Tod Muggins, I think the worst of them would be Tongue Pudding and Mouth Cream.
But it can't be looked at like that, because Tod Muggins doesn't exist. So you don't have to worry about thinking about the viscous differences that must exist between Mouth Cream and Tongue Pudding. Some things are better left never thought. la! Shub Niggurath!
If the chart could be done differently, maybe by some sort of Bizarro Tod Muggins, I think the worst of them would be Tongue Pudding and Mouth Cream.
But it can't be looked at like that, because Tod Muggins doesn't exist. So you don't have to worry about thinking about the viscous differences that must exist between Mouth Cream and Tongue Pudding. Some things are better left never thought. la! Shub Niggurath!
akarroa
+0 -0
I got detention for a week for chanting, "IA IA SHUB-NIGGURATH, BLACK GOAT OF THE FOREST" through the halls, because a couple black kids (unedjucated in Lovecraftianism) thought it was a racial slur.
I got detention for a week for chanting, "IA IA SHUB-NIGGURATH, BLACK GOAT OF THE FOREST" through the halls, because a couple black kids (unedjucated in Lovecraftianism) thought it was a racial slur.
explodingbat
+1 -0
With Lovecraft you can never be sure.
With Lovecraft you can never be sure.
falseprophet
+0 -0
True. Lovecraft was a known racist.
akorroa's new best friends were not far off the mark.
True. Lovecraft was a known racist.
akorroa's new best friends were not far off the mark.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He wasn't racist, he just believed that white people were the chosen race. Race chosen to be eaten first, of course.
(We're kind of like an entrée or amuse-bouche.)
He wasn't racist, he just believed that white people were the chosen race. Race chosen to be eaten first, of course.
(We're kind of like an entrée or amuse-bouche.)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I feel I have erred greatly.
I feel I have erred greatly.
sje46
+0 -0
As a European-American I am offended.
As a European-American I am offended.
retro
+0 -0
Biscuit Finger sounds like a great name for a high school garage band.
Biscuit Finger sounds like a great name for a high school garage band.
lexsenthur
+4 -0
Sorry, I can't stop thinking of Picnic Panic 12.
"They forgot the basket... but remembered the biscuits ."
Sorry, I can't stop thinking of Picnic Panic 12.
"They forgot the basket... but remembered the biscuits ."
ham_shoes
+0 -0
A Frank Zappa tribute band
A Frank Zappa tribute band
rascaldom
+16 -0
I like how the "Yes" pathway is the only one that doesn't lead to gay sex.
I like how the "Yes" pathway is the only one that doesn't lead to gay sex.
lexsenthur
+7 -0
Just like prison. :(
Just like prison. :(
tucky
+11 -0
It's pat we're talking about here. If he thinks anyone else will enjoy something, he can't bring himself to do it. He has to be a dick about his dick.
It's pat we're talking about here. If he thinks anyone else will enjoy something, he can't bring himself to do it. He has to be a dick about his dick.
telescreen
+0 -0
Perhaps the maybe path is not an actual possibility, but merely a fantasy world created by Rod. Pat as he could be but is not.
Perhaps the maybe path is not an actual possibility, but merely a fantasy world created by Rod. Pat as he could be but is not.
davidp
+0 -0
I read past the first box and enjoyed all of them. Chum oven!
I read past the first box and enjoyed all of them. Chum oven!
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
Maybe it's me, but I find the side by sides of Column A and B HILARIOUS as they are..
For example:
Sugar Finger - another great 80s band name
Pudding Root - akin to Kahlua Cock perhaps?)
Biscuit Face - Indy band name?)
Maybe it's me, but I find the side by sides of Column A and B HILARIOUS as they are..
For example:
Sugar Finger - another great 80s band name
Pudding Root - akin to Kahlua Cock perhaps?)
Biscuit Face - Indy band name?)
retro
+9 -0
How can he have any pudding if he don't eat his meat?
How can he have any pudding if he don't eat his meat?
fuzzyshoo
+12 -0
=EARN IT=
=EARN IT=
retro
+6 -0
RETRO STARTS TO EARN IT
RETRO STARTS TO EARN IT
saulbellow
+6 -0
Your avatars make this work. Huzzah
Your avatars make this work. Huzzah
gmm
+0 -0
Pudding Root - Underground hip-hop collective
Ganache Tongue - Pretentious French electronic pop group
Pudding Root - Underground hip-hop collective
Ganache Tongue - Pretentious French electronic pop group
aliiis
+0 -0
Is there a reason why you would stop before Clafouti Schwanz? Just wondering.
Also your avicon is ace!
Is there a reason why you would stop before Clafouti Schwanz? Just wondering.
Also your avicon is ace!
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Nah, Biscuit Face would be an old-school Boston hardcore band that only released one EP and a split 7" with xSkullFuckx before disbanding and whose every show would end with half the audience suffering bone fractures.
Nah, Biscuit Face would be an old-school Boston hardcore band that only released one EP and a split 7" with xSkullFuckx before disbanding and whose every show would end with half the audience suffering bone fractures.
tekende
+1 -0
Arguments forever rage on forums and in music 'zine letter columns over how to pronounce "xSkullFuckx." Snooty hipsters glare at you if you say it any other way than what they prefer.
Arguments forever rage on forums and in music 'zine letter columns over how to pronounce "xSkullFuckx." Snooty hipsters glare at you if you say it any other way than what they prefer.
stereo
+0 -0
xSkullfu d ckx
Coincidence? NEVER
ek'cess'kal'fud
xSkullfu d ckx
Coincidence? NEVER
ek'cess'kal'fud
autrepoupee
+0 -0
It's clickSkullFuckclick, obviously.
It's clickSkullFuckclick, obviously.
drskradley
+6 -0
An extreme reaction, but if you are going to be attempting International Phonetic Alphabet jokes you must bring your A-game.*
In the IPA, [x] is an unvoiced velar fricative, not a click. Keep the back of your tongue up against the back of the roof of your mouth, and make a hukhkhkh sound like your hocking up some phlegm - that's an unvoiced velar fricative. To make it a voiced - just, well, voice it.
[x] is a telling example of the development of the written form of English in that it is how every word with "gh" in it was originally pronounced, harkening back to its Eastern High German roots and possibly also showing the link to Gaelic, as can be somewhat evidenced Scots Gaelic to this day (maybe also Welsh, I'm not sure)
See diagram.
The [x] sound eventually died out amongst the upper class, and was thus considered to be the "improper pronunciation" of such phonemes in Standard English. However, this still took a while, even to the point that Jonathan Swift described the pronunciation of daughter without the [x] to be, quote, "barbaric".
The click that you are probably thinking of, however, is almost universally represented with [!], and is pronounced by clicking the tongue in a "clip-clop" sound (post-alveolar abrupt) - so that's how the band !!! should be pronounced, technically. It's rarely used in the world, pretty much just a few languages in Africa. Other clicks exist all over the place, but again, fairly rare.
See table for clicks.
Wiki on the IPA
Ah, that was fun. Brushed off the internal linguistics degree again.
*Okay, it still wasn't warranted, but that image makes me laugh every time.
An extreme reaction, but if you are going to be attempting International Phonetic Alphabet jokes you must bring your A-game.*
In the IPA, [x] is an unvoiced velar fricative, not a click. Keep the back of your tongue up against the back of the roof of your mouth, and make a hukhkhkh sound like your hocking up some phlegm - that's an unvoiced velar fricative. To make it a voiced - just, well, voice it.
[x] is a telling example of the development of the written form of English in that it is how every word with "gh" in it was originally pronounced, harkening back to its Eastern High German roots and possibly also showing the link to Gaelic, as can be somewhat evidenced Scots Gaelic to this day (maybe also Welsh, I'm not sure)
See diagram.
The [x] sound eventually died out amongst the upper class, and was thus considered to be the "improper pronunciation" of such phonemes in Standard English. However, this still took a while, even to the point that Jonathan Swift described the pronunciation of daughter without the [x] to be, quote, "barbaric".
The click that you are probably thinking of, however, is almost universally represented with [!], and is pronounced by clicking the tongue in a "clip-clop" sound (post-alveolar abrupt) - so that's how the band !!! should be pronounced, technically. It's rarely used in the world, pretty much just a few languages in Africa. Other clicks exist all over the place, but again, fairly rare.
See table for clicks.
Wiki on the IPA
Ah, that was fun. Brushed off the internal linguistics degree again.
*Okay, it still wasn't warranted, but that image makes me laugh every time.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Dang brother you just schooled me on my weak hipster doofus reference all over this place, leaving little trails of blood in your wake. I'm all saying clicks, and you're taking them out of my mouth and throwing them in a trashcan, yelling about basketball and the proper way to vocalize the sound of horked lougies.
That is awesome though, I am Pro getting taken to school to learn about stuff I never knew.
Dang brother you just schooled me on my weak hipster doofus reference all over this place, leaving little trails of blood in your wake. I'm all saying clicks, and you're taking them out of my mouth and throwing them in a trashcan, yelling about basketball and the proper way to vocalize the sound of horked lougies.
That is awesome though, I am Pro getting taken to school to learn about stuff I never knew.
notcool
+0 -0
And you can tell you're pro 'cause you're so neu?
And you can tell you're pro 'cause you're so neu?
aperson
+0 -0
You got taken to phonetic school in the pain a la voiture .
You got taken to phonetic school in the pain a la voiture .
sje46
+0 -0
He is right, you know.
I know this cuz I took intro to linguistics.
He is right, you know.
I know this cuz I took intro to linguistics.
norrin
+0 -0
Lynguistic Theory and Application only taught me that Ebonics is a real language.
Lynguistic Theory and Application only taught me that Ebonics is a real language.
norrin
+0 -0
That spelling of "linguistic" makes it fancy. Like fancy ketchup.
That spelling of "linguistic" makes it fancy. Like fancy ketchup.
sje46
+0 -0
ooh la la Mr. Frenchy.
ooh la la Mr. Frenchy.
tekende
+0 -0
Ketchup that bitch!
Ketchup that bitch!
aperson
+0 -0
Lynguisticks is the study of magick words, as I'm sure you already knew.
Lynguisticks is the study of magick words, as I'm sure you already knew.
aliiis
+0 -0
unvoiced velar fricative! ling... linguistics degree?!
HIIIIIGH FIIIIIVE because I also have a linguistics degree (MA if that means anything to you people).
I did think Autrepoups was referring to earlier hep controversies like such as the various ways of saying !!! though. (Chk Chk Chk and Bang Bang Bang apparently seem to be the most common round these parts)
unvoiced velar fricative! ling... linguistics degree?!
HIIIIIGH FIIIIIVE because I also have a linguistics degree (MA if that means anything to you people).
I did think Autrepoups was referring to earlier hep controversies like such as the various ways of saying !!! though. (Chk Chk Chk and Bang Bang Bang apparently seem to be the most common round these parts)
drskradley
+0 -0
Yeah, I know - I even made mention to !!! in the post itself - but you know you gotta grab any chance to talk language history that you can! I know you know this.
*mad high fives between ali and mine self*
(You may also note that I poorly described the pronunciation of a velar fricative, and now I bet people are probably nigh-on vomiting by sticking their tongue too far back and doing a pharyngeal, or even, God help us, an epiglottal.)
(The graphic innuendo of that last sentence is so appropriate for the discussions on this strip.)
Yeah, I know - I even made mention to !!! in the post itself - but you know you gotta grab any chance to talk language history that you can! I know you know this.
*mad high fives between ali and mine self*
(You may also note that I poorly described the pronunciation of a velar fricative, and now I bet people are probably nigh-on vomiting by sticking their tongue too far back and doing a pharyngeal, or even, God help us, an epiglottal.)
(The graphic innuendo of that last sentence is so appropriate for the discussions on this strip.)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
What's funny is that I understand all this jargon and I have only studied English Language and Linguistics at A-level.
I found vowels more interesting, personally. Or at least the words used to describe them were funnier. Diphthongs and monophthongs are extremely Yes.
What's funny is that I understand all this jargon and I have only studied English Language and Linguistics at A-level.
I found vowels more interesting, personally. Or at least the words used to describe them were funnier. Diphthongs and monophthongs are extremely Yes.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh, brother, you did English Languag A Level? HOLLA.
Oh, brother, you did English Languag A Level? HOLLA.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh, nice , hecci, make a typo when mentioning your A Level in English Language. REALLY WELL DONE.
Oh, nice , hecci, make a typo when mentioning your A Level in English Language. REALLY WELL DONE.
cromar
+0 -0
It's OK hecci. Skulls is alway right.
It's OK hecci. Skulls is alway right.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Shit, sorry, I meant English Language and Literature.
The moderate option. Not quite lit, not quite lang!
Shit, sorry, I meant English Language and Literature.
The moderate option. Not quite lit, not quite lang!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Ohhh. That makes you a pansy.
I did Lit and Lang as SEPARATE A LEVELS. Guess how many fucking essays I had to write.
Ohhh. That makes you a pansy.
I did Lit and Lang as SEPARATE A LEVELS. Guess how many fucking essays I had to write.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Apparently the UK education system follows the AD&D 2nd edition ruleset.
Apparently the UK education system follows the AD&D 2nd edition ruleset.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I'm sure that's hilarious if you've ever played Dungeons and Dragons. Unfortunately I chose a life which included exciting casual sex instead.
OHHH SEX LIFE BURN.
I'm sorry, ae. I don't know how often you get laid. It could be lots more than me.
I'm sure that's hilarious if you've ever played Dungeons and Dragons. Unfortunately I chose a life which included exciting casual sex instead.
OHHH SEX LIFE BURN.
I'm sorry, ae. I don't know how often you get laid. It could be lots more than me.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Anyway, it's okay hecci, I think at this point those kinds of burns directed at me are pretty much an assetbar meme.
It was just a general reference to levels, which you don't really need to have played D&D to know about, but it was also a more specific reference to dual-classing.
I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Anyway, it's okay hecci, I think at this point those kinds of burns directed at me are pretty much an assetbar meme.
It was just a general reference to levels, which you don't really need to have played D&D to know about, but it was also a more specific reference to dual-classing.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Don't be mad at me, achilleselbow. You know I love you and think you look like Demitri Martin.
Don't be mad at me, achilleselbow. You know I love you and think you look like Demitri Martin.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I am pouting SO HARD right now, you have no idea.
I am pouting SO HARD right now, you have no idea.
redphillip
+0 -0
Long ago (in New York, which will serve as the far-away galaxy) I was a subject in a research project. Every six months I would have a day of various interviews/tests, including a "psychosexual" interview. This required a detailed recitation of all my sexual activity during the intervening months.
The intake session was, naturally, the most challenging, since I had to account for a lifetime's sexual activity (I was a bit over 30 at the time). When I protested that such a recounting was impossible, the interviewer suggested that I take it in stages. Junior/Sr. High wasn't too hard to tote up, nor were the college years -- at least I didn't have to remember all their names. I did have to sort of guesstimate precisely how many of precisely which acts with each partner I had performed. After age 20 it got to be really difficult, particularly after I'd moved to New York.
Long story short, after a complicated process that involved some relatively precise accounting (# of relationships longer than 1-nighters/long weekend flings x approximate duration x incidence of sex) and some slap-dash statistical fudging (how many nights per week at bar/club # nights w/sex; how many trips per month to baths, etc.) and before I knew it I realized I was wrong when I thought I wasn't a complete pig like those guys who lived at The Anvil. They were just much more ultimately complete pigs than me. Astonishing what 4-digit totals do for your perspective.
To think I managed all that wonderful excess with frequently hideous outfits and pathetic hair. Who knew? Anyway, I vote with hecci against D&D and for exciting casual sex. At least in past tense; where I live, at my age, making exciting casual sex happen is hella much work. For all I lack in mad rutty times these days, I still hate D&D and all it's progeny.
Long ago (in New York, which will serve as the far-away galaxy) I was a subject in a research project. Every six months I would have a day of various interviews/tests, including a "psychosexual" interview. This required a detailed recitation of all my sexual activity during the intervening months.
The intake session was, naturally, the most challenging, since I had to account for a lifetime's sexual activity (I was a bit over 30 at the time). When I protested that such a recounting was impossible, the interviewer suggested that I take it in stages. Junior/Sr. High wasn't too hard to tote up, nor were the college years -- at least I didn't have to remember all their names. I did have to sort of guesstimate precisely how many of precisely which acts with each partner I had performed. After age 20 it got to be really difficult, particularly after I'd moved to New York.
Long story short, after a complicated process that involved some relatively precise accounting (# of relationships longer than 1-nighters/long weekend flings x approximate duration x incidence of sex) and some slap-dash statistical fudging (how many nights per week at bar/club # nights w/sex; how many trips per month to baths, etc.) and before I knew it I realized I was wrong when I thought I wasn't a complete pig like those guys who lived at The Anvil. They were just much more ultimately complete pigs than me. Astonishing what 4-digit totals do for your perspective.
To think I managed all that wonderful excess with frequently hideous outfits and pathetic hair. Who knew? Anyway, I vote with hecci against D&D and for exciting casual sex. At least in past tense; where I live, at my age, making exciting casual sex happen is hella much work. For all I lack in mad rutty times these days, I still hate D&D and all it's progeny.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Ways in which people who play D&D are better than people who have lots of sex: we realize how ridiculous it is to brag about how much D&D you play.
Ways in which people who play D&D are better than people who have lots of sex: we realize how ridiculous it is to brag about how much D&D you play.
kamet
+0 -0
I will preface this comment by saying I am female and thus, that may be the reason for what I am about to say.
But, I play D&D, and have never had a problem finding, having, and maintaining casual sex encounters.
I will preface this comment by saying I am female and thus, that may be the reason for what I am about to say.
But, I play D&D, and have never had a problem finding, having, and maintaining casual sex encounters.
redphillip
+0 -0
This actually makes sense to me.
The perversity of the universe tends to a maximum.
[size=9]1st corollary to Murphy's Law[/size]
This actually makes sense to me.
The perversity of the universe tends to a maximum.
[size=9]1st corollary to Murphy's Law[/size]
redphillip
+0 -0
I'd lame myself if I could for not doing the BBcode right. Damn Firefox. It's fine for bold and italic , but not much else.
I'd lame myself if I could for not doing the BBcode right. Damn Firefox. It's fine for bold and italic , but not much else.
thorfinn
+0 -0
7
7
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Keep guessing.
Also, I just refreshed the page and the "most recent comment" was this one, by you. I clicked it in curiosity wondering what just "7" could be a response to. Imagine my delight when I discovered it was a response to something I myself wrote!
Keep guessing.
Also, I just refreshed the page and the "most recent comment" was this one, by you. I clicked it in curiosity wondering what just "7" could be a response to. Imagine my delight when I discovered it was a response to something I myself wrote!
cromar
+0 -0
::casts mind bondage::
::casts mind bondage::
thorfinn
+0 -0
I have this strange compulsion where, when someone ask a rhetorical "guess how many" question, I feel the need to respond with a number, usually a wildly inaccurate number. I try not to do it, but it always seems to happen.
I have this strange compulsion where, when someone ask a rhetorical "guess how many" question, I feel the need to respond with a number, usually a wildly inaccurate number. I try not to do it, but it always seems to happen.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You think that 7 is a wildly inaccurate number in this context? Is it too high or too low?
You think that 7 is a wildly inaccurate number in this context? Is it too high or too low?
thorfinn
+0 -0
I figured probably too low, and maybe not wildly inaccurate in this case, but usually I will respond with a number that cannot possibly be right.
I figured probably too low, and maybe not wildly inaccurate in this case, but usually I will respond with a number that cannot possibly be right.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
7...too low...wow.
7...too low...wow.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
'Daughter' used to be pronounced as 'dauxter'? I find that highly dubious .
'Daughter' used to be pronounced as 'dauxter'? I find that highly dubious .
i_love_kate
+0 -0
More like doccchter, like the german Tochter.
It's got to come from the back of your throat. Tonsils, according to my handy diagram (replete with screaming stick figure running to escape the giant bisected mouth) That's the velum!
More like doccchter, like the german Tochter.
It's got to come from the back of your throat. Tonsils, according to my handy diagram (replete with screaming stick figure running to escape the giant bisected mouth) That's the velum!
kickstart
+4 -0
Don't call me doccchter, not fair to.
The piccccchture kept will remind me.
Don't call me doccchter, not fair to.
The piccccchture kept will remind me.
slab64
+0 -0
I love you.
I love you.
sje46
+0 -0
So did night and knight. But the K was actually pronounced.
So did night and knight. But the K was actually pronounced.
kamet
+0 -0
Knnnnnnnnnigh-ts.
Knnnnnnnnnigh-ts.
hamscout
+0 -0
Why don't you just say the letter "k" instead of the letter "c"?
Ohh! What a silly bunt!
Why don't you just say the letter "k" instead of the letter "c"?
Ohh! What a silly bunt!
sje46
+0 -0
What C?
What C?
akarroa
+0 -0
'No, a siamese bat , they're much worse.'
'No, a siamese bat , they're much worse.'
sje46
+0 -0
Bloods replace all Cs with Bs (or Ps)
Bloods replace all Cs with Bs (or Ps)
invidious
+0 -0
Man, look who's being a dick about...
eh, forget it.
Man, look who's being a dick about...
eh, forget it.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
And also, Darkbuster opened for them.
And also, Darkbuster opened for them.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Cmon, I know you fellow Massholes know and love Darkbuster!
Cmon, I know you fellow Massholes know and love Darkbuster!
akarroa
+0 -0
I thought Biscuit Face was a distant relative if Biscuit-dough Hands Man.
I thought Biscuit Face was a distant relative if Biscuit-dough Hands Man.
prettyrad
+0 -0
There's probably an Elephant 6 band called Custard Nose. Or Gelato Eyes.
There's probably an Elephant 6 band called Custard Nose. Or Gelato Eyes.
jbushnell
+1 -0
I am of the opinion that both Neutral Milk Hotel and Olivia Tremor Control were band names generated by attempting to read a completed game of Scrabble out loud.
I am of the opinion that both Neutral Milk Hotel and Olivia Tremor Control were band names generated by attempting to read a completed game of Scrabble out loud.
mrwombat
+4 -0
I'm going to have to challenge Olivia.
I'm going to have to challenge Olivia.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man but the v is on a triple letter score please don't take this away from me!
Man but the v is on a triple letter score please don't take this away from me!
mrwombat
+0 -0
Fine, do it. Go ahead, open the triple word, I dare you.
Fine, do it. Go ahead, open the triple word, I dare you.
jbushnell
+1 -0
I don't know, I picture the Elephant 6 dudes as some dudes with some pretty lax "house rules" w/r/t Scrabble
I don't know, I picture the Elephant 6 dudes as some dudes with some pretty lax "house rules" w/r/t Scrabble
elzilcho
+0 -0
Also: Synthetic Flying Machine, Frosted Ambassador, and Black Swan Network. Which would make sense because all of them are the goddamned Olivia Tremor Control.
Also: Synthetic Flying Machine, Frosted Ambassador, and Black Swan Network. Which would make sense because all of them are the goddamned Olivia Tremor Control.
elzilcho
+1 -0
Jesus I even just realized "Synthetic" could have started as "the", and "Ambassador" as "bass", thus making them plausible yet improbable Scrabble words OH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Jesus I even just realized "Synthetic" could have started as "the", and "Ambassador" as "bass", thus making them plausible yet improbable Scrabble words OH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
stereo
+1 -0
The man who successfully expands "ass" to "ambassador" would basically be the king of Scrabble.
The man who successfully expands "ass" to "ambassador" would basically be the king of Scrabble.
quazifuji
+0 -0
I've seen "loons" expanded to "pantaloons," which wasn't quite as good as "ass" to "ambassador," but it was still pretty awesome. (I think it was on a triple word score too)
I've seen "loons" expanded to "pantaloons," which wasn't quite as good as "ass" to "ambassador," but it was still pretty awesome. (I think it was on a triple word score too)
mrwombat
+0 -0
I've done "bol_" into "hyperbol_"... which would've made me the king of scrabble, but it was just some curves.
I've done "bol_" into "hyperbol_"... which would've made me the king of scrabble, but it was just some curves.
cromar
+0 -0
I am the King of Boggle. (There is none higher.)
I am the King of Boggle. (There is none higher.)
kickstart
+0 -0
he gets eleven points off the word quagmire
he gets eleven points off the word quagmire
jbushnell
+0 -0
And when he's in Holland he eats the pfannkuchen
And when he's in Holland he eats the pfannkuchen
cromar
+0 -0
Money makin'. Money, money makin'. Super disco, disco breakin'.
Money makin'. Money, money makin'. Super disco, disco breakin'.
senseihollywood
+0 -0
well, you'd at least get your 50 points for using all 7 tiles anyway
well, you'd at least get your 50 points for using all 7 tiles anyway
ennuid
+0 -0
Pat sure is lucky to have someone who tolerates his crap so well, especially if he can flaunt an ass like that through a loose kimono. A bit puzzled by that brogue in the shot, though. Could it be a younger, less nefarious cousin of the roller skate, signifying pre-coital discord?
Pat sure is lucky to have someone who tolerates his crap so well, especially if he can flaunt an ass like that through a loose kimono. A bit puzzled by that brogue in the shot, though. Could it be a younger, less nefarious cousin of the roller skate, signifying pre-coital discord?
mystkmanat
+0 -0
I hope not. I'm having way too much fun with these two.
I hope not. I'm having way too much fun with these two.
wilbur
+1 -0
No, Rod is just going to kick the chair over and, "Final Destination"-style, accidentally hang himself after 57 Rube Goldberg steps of chaos.
No, Rod is just going to kick the chair over and, "Final Destination"-style, accidentally hang himself after 57 Rube Goldberg steps of chaos.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
If he does hang himself over this, we can always just put an orange in his mouth and say that it was a fatal wanking accident.
If he does hang himself over this, we can always just put an orange in his mouth and say that it was a fatal wanking accident.
wilto
+0 -0
"Final Destination style," I thought to myself, for some time. "So... With, like, Link's hookshot, or..?"
I am not proud.
"Final Destination style," I thought to myself, for some time. "So... With, like, Link's hookshot, or..?"
I am not proud.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure seeing a Smash Bros. reference over a teen slasher movie one is actually something to be quite proud of.
I'm pretty sure seeing a Smash Bros. reference over a teen slasher movie one is actually something to be quite proud of.
kamet
+0 -0
Your avatar is a porn set. I am pro.
Your avatar is a porn set. I am pro.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
They did Twin Peaks porn? Why was I not informed.
"Ria eht ni cisum onorp yknaws syawla s'ereht dna gnos ytterp a gnis sdrib eht morf er'ew erehw."
They did Twin Peaks porn? Why was I not informed.
"Ria eht ni cisum onorp yknaws syawla s'ereht dna gnos ytterp a gnis sdrib eht morf er'ew erehw."
octafish
+1 -0
That sexual position you like is going to come back in style.
That sexual position you like is going to come back in style.
octafish
+0 -0
...also I gave you a chubby for misspelling porno backwards as prono.
...also I gave you a chubby for misspelling porno backwards as prono.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
My path is a strange and difficult one.
Deibbuhcorpicer.
My path is a strange and difficult one.
Deibbuhcorpicer.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Oh my God. For the past several weeks, I thought you were spelling things out in Welsh!
Seriously. Like, in solidarity with Molly's family or something? I just realized, today that it was backwards.
I kind of wish that I didn't feel so stupid right now.
Oh my God. For the past several weeks, I thought you were spelling things out in Welsh!
Seriously. Like, in solidarity with Molly's family or something? I just realized, today that it was backwards.
I kind of wish that I didn't feel so stupid right now.
stereo
+2 -0
Welsh! It's all gnow gniw! gnohc gnihc!
Welsh! It's all gnow gniw! gnohc gnihc!
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
MOOLTI-PASS.
MOOLTI-PASS.
expellens
+0 -0
Forget the shoe on the floor. Is that a dildo on the chair?
No, wait. It's Rod's unshod foot peeking out from behind the kimono.
(man, I thought for sure that was a ... nevermind)
Forget the shoe on the floor. Is that a dildo on the chair?
No, wait. It's Rod's unshod foot peeking out from behind the kimono.
(man, I thought for sure that was a ... nevermind)
invidious
+0 -0
Now I cannot unsee what you have suggested, thank you very much!
Now I cannot unsee what you have suggested, thank you very much!
factorial
+1 -0
Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article a dildo, never... your dildo.
Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article a dildo, never... your dildo.
tekende
+1 -0
Maybe the shoe is there to show that Pat isn't particularly good at framing his shots? In theory we shouldn't be able to see the chair either.
Maybe the shoe is there to show that Pat isn't particularly good at framing his shots? In theory we shouldn't be able to see the chair either.
redphillip
+0 -0
That's Rod pretending to be Yum-Yum in The Mikado. It was taken on the set of one of Rod's porn shoots. The brogue belongs to his partner in the scene, playing the role of a lonely businessman with a kink for Japanese costume. Pat's picking up some extra cash doing the still shots for the skin mag market.
For my money, Rod is a real weeny wilter as a drag queen.
That's Rod pretending to be Yum-Yum in The Mikado. It was taken on the set of one of Rod's porn shoots. The brogue belongs to his partner in the scene, playing the role of a lonely businessman with a kink for Japanese costume. Pat's picking up some extra cash doing the still shots for the skin mag market.
For my money, Rod is a real weeny wilter as a drag queen.
whuppins
+6 -0
Having to stand on a chair to get the proper geisha effect is a nice touch.
Having to stand on a chair to get the proper geisha effect is a nice touch.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Well spotted. Chubby for you.
Well spotted. Chubby for you.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Agreed and chubby seconded.
Agreed and chubby seconded.
hootplate
+0 -0
Chubby thirded, good eyes.
Chubby thirded, good eyes.
catgrl131
+1 -0
And the motion passes.
And the motion passes.
bourbaki
+11 -0
I first read the initial box in the "MAYBE" flow as, "Earn it, Honey. Knees." I thought that was going to an entirely different place.
I first read the initial box in the "MAYBE" flow as, "Earn it, Honey. Knees." I thought that was going to an entirely different place.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
As did I, bourbaki.
As did I.
As did I, bourbaki.
As did I.
scott
+0 -0
Here as well. I thought being able to say "Earn it, honey. Knees." was the best endorsement of being gay that I've ever heard.
Here as well. I thought being able to say "Earn it, honey. Knees." was the best endorsement of being gay that I've ever heard.
sleshy
+0 -0
That's how I read it as well, because lets face it, I've never thought of calling anyone honey knees...ever.
That's how I read it as well, because lets face it, I've never thought of calling anyone honey knees...ever.
desert_donkey
+1 -0
it's not even a choosable combination in those boxes. which makes it even weirder (HINT: not).
it's not even a choosable combination in those boxes. which makes it even weirder (HINT: not).
lexsenthur
+2 -0
Holy piss. I saw that shoe and I panicked. I thought it was the rollerskate. -_-;
Holy piss. I saw that shoe and I panicked. I thought it was the rollerskate. -_-;
saulbellow
+0 -0
Does ... does that semicolon represent sweat?
Does ... does that semicolon represent sweat?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
semicolon - that's like a colon
semicolon - that's like a colon
hamscout
+0 -0
you're not getting anywhere near my sweaty colon with your semi...
you're not getting anywhere near my sweaty colon with your semi...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The guy from that Palahniuk story had a semicolon.
The guy from that Palahniuk story had a semicolon.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I would like to place anathema on mentioning that story any more.
I would like to place anathema on mentioning that story any more.
fablesandblues
+0 -0
I second the motion.
I second the motion.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
All in favor say ;
All in favor say ;
telescreen
+0 -0
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;!!!!
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;!!!!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It represents a substitute for a conjunction in most cases.
It represents a substitute for a conjunction in most cases.
cobra_lionfist
+1 -0
Man, that photo credit is dickish even for Pat.
Man, that photo credit is dickish even for Pat.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
He is so right about that nasty Tom's of Maine toothpaste, it is the worst junk. You can get it flavored with Fennel... FENNEL ! Who wants their breath all Fennel'd up?
Also, in the 'No' bracket, I thought the conclusion was that Pat begins to check his glycemic index, not that they make some serious love.
He is so right about that nasty Tom's of Maine toothpaste, it is the worst junk. You can get it flavored with Fennel... FENNEL ! Who wants their breath all Fennel'd up?
Also, in the 'No' bracket, I thought the conclusion was that Pat begins to check his glycemic index, not that they make some serious love.
fablesandblues
+0 -0
I was thinking that too. Maybe Rod really hates to see his own blood so puts on the mask. It's funnier that way, for some reason.
I was thinking that too. Maybe Rod really hates to see his own blood so puts on the mask. It's funnier that way, for some reason.
norrec
+0 -0
Or maybe Rod doesn't like the taste of caulk in his mouth.
Or maybe Rod doesn't like the taste of caulk in his mouth.
hrm
+0 -0
My mouth still feels dirty and smelly after using Tom's of Maine.
My mouth still feels dirty and smelly after using Tom's of Maine.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Hey, you are sixteen too! High five!
(Should I not bring attention to that on the internet?)
Hey, you are sixteen too! High five!
(Should I not bring attention to that on the internet?)
irondave
+2 -0
You kids get the hell off my lawn!
You kids get the hell off my lawn!
lexsenthur
+0 -0
IT IS SPECIAL!
THIS IS A SPECIAL AGE!
IT IS SPECIAL!
THIS IS A SPECIAL AGE!
charchar
+0 -0
I actually squeezed mine all out of the tube and mixed it with some (more) spearmint oil. It's not half-bad then. You just have to brush like an obsessive-compulsive freak and then rinse afterwards.
I actually squeezed mine all out of the tube and mixed it with some (more) spearmint oil. It's not half-bad then. You just have to brush like an obsessive-compulsive freak and then rinse afterwards.
the_clarkness
+0 -0
I actually like Tom's of Maine toothpaste. It is my favorite toothpaste ever. Is...is there something wrong with me?
I actually like Tom's of Maine toothpaste. It is my favorite toothpaste ever. Is...is there something wrong with me?
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Tom's of Maine is the second worst toothpaste.
Tom's of Maine is the second worst toothpaste.
ferae_machinae
+0 -0
You people all forget Euthymol.
You people all forget Euthymol.
tekende
+0 -0
What do you mean "you people"?
What do you mean "you people"?
ferae_machinae
+0 -0
I ain't sayin nothing more. But Tom's of Maine seems to be some Yankee delicacy...
I ain't sayin nothing more. But Tom's of Maine seems to be some Yankee delicacy...
falseprophet
+0 -0
*~* What do you mean 'you people'? *~*
*~* What do you mean 'you people'? *~*
tekende
+0 -0
Excellent.
Excellent.
desert_donkey
+1 -0
i don't know if i needed a good laff 'cuz it's monday, but that was some funny fucking shit. you gotta keep looking at rod in that getup.. hilarious. he (chris) definitely stepped outta his skin for this one.
i don't know if i needed a good laff 'cuz it's monday, but that was some funny fucking shit. you gotta keep looking at rod in that getup.. hilarious. he (chris) definitely stepped outta his skin for this one.
irondave
+1 -0
"Pot-de-Mouth" does not seem like an endearment to me.
"Pot-de-Mouth" does not seem like an endearment to me.
speth
+1 -0
what's up sugar schwanz
what's up sugar schwanz
davey-boy
+0 -0
Anyone notice the backdrop of the photo of Rod? Turned the whole thing into Myspace faire.
Anyone notice the backdrop of the photo of Rod? Turned the whole thing into Myspace faire.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
light socket!
light socket!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I don't know about you guys, but I could definitely get behind the nickname Vanilla Hammer.
GET BEHIND
I don't know about you guys, but I could definitely get behind the nickname Vanilla Hammer.
GET BEHIND
fablesandblues
+10 -0
I'm going to have to say that's an awful idea. Vanilla Hammer conjures this image, for me:
I'm going to have to say that's an awful idea. Vanilla Hammer conjures this image, for me:
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Oh damnit, why did you have to ruin Vanilla Hammer!
Cream Face it is, then. Wasn't that the name of the girl in Billy Jack?
Oh damnit, why did you have to ruin Vanilla Hammer!
Cream Face it is, then. Wasn't that the name of the girl in Billy Jack?
fablesandblues
+1 -0
Sorry.
You really don't want me to photoshop an objection to cream face. I've never seen billy jack.
Sorry.
You really don't want me to photoshop an objection to cream face. I've never seen billy jack.
kickstart
+0 -0
Vanilla Hammer Fun Fact - both the songs sampled in their respective hit singles were from the fabulous year of 1981!
Vanilla Hammer Fun Fact - both the songs sampled in their respective hit singles were from the fabulous year of 1981!
stereo
+0 -0
They are also the only known group to have featured both AC/DC and Abba in the same song without either group realizing .
They are also the only known group to have featured both AC/DC and Abba in the same song without either group realizing .
octafish
+1 -0
Stop, collaborate and listen
Hammer's back with abrand new invention
Move, slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
Stop, collaborate and listen
Hammer's back with abrand new invention
Move, slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
drskradley
+0 -0
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Seems like you can't swing a hammer in this thread without hitting some gay innuendo.
Seems like you can't swing a hammer in this thread without hitting some gay innuendo.
tekende
+9 -0
Seems like you can't fuck someone of the same sex in this thread without hitting some gay innuendo, right? Yeah?
Seems like you can't fuck someone of the same sex in this thread without hitting some gay innuendo, right? Yeah?
charhe
+0 -0
That's actually more of a general issue than an Assetbar issue.
Which makes no sense in either context. I mean, what's a little fucking between friends? Of the same sex?
That's actually more of a general issue than an Assetbar issue.
Which makes no sense in either context. I mean, what's a little fucking between friends? Of the same sex?
mrwombat
+1 -0
Inyourendo?
Inyourendo?
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Honestly, I was just trying to work off autrepoupee's hammer pun. But now I come off looking like I'm opposed to a little fucking between friends. Which I most certainly am not.
Honestly, I was just trying to work off autrepoupee's hammer pun. But now I come off looking like I'm opposed to a little fucking between friends. Which I most certainly am not.
nice-on-water
+0 -1
Hammered in the behind lulz
Hammered in the behind lulz
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -2
I totally misread the box that says "Earn it, Honey Knees" as "Earn it honey, knees."
Forceful. Concise. Perfection.
I totally misread the box that says "Earn it, Honey Knees" as "Earn it honey, knees."
Forceful. Concise. Perfection.
saulbellow
+0 -0
I must respectfully lame you for missing a very nearby comment and thread to the same effect. Sorry!
I must respectfully lame you for missing a very nearby comment and thread to the same effect. Sorry!
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I deserve it. I skimmed, but being in the rush I was in, I unfortunately missed it. My apologies to Bourbaki and Co.
I deserve it. I skimmed, but being in the rush I was in, I unfortunately missed it. My apologies to Bourbaki and Co.
daidai
+0 -0
And my axe.
And my axe.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... that's what you crazy kids call it these days.
Don't you go damaging junk with your axe.
... that's what you crazy kids call it these days.
Don't you go damaging junk with your axe.
ferae_machinae
+0 -0
What news from the South-west?
What news from the South-west?
kickstart
+0 -0
Rod's costume reminds me of Best in Show where John Michael Higgins's character packs like seven kimonos for "forty-eight hours in Philadelphia."
Rod's costume reminds me of Best in Show where John Michael Higgins's character packs like seven kimonos for "forty-eight hours in Philadelphia."
hamscout
+1 -0
...crossed with a little touch of "the tuck" scene from Silence of the Lambs?
"Wait...is he a great big fat person?
...crossed with a little touch of "the tuck" scene from Silence of the Lambs?
"Wait...is he a great big fat person?
aki
+0 -0
Pot-de-Buns?...it seems like there is a secret contest where if you land the word combination about which Onstad himself chuckled the most, he'll arrive at your front door and give you a high five or something.
Pot-de-Buns?...it seems like there is a secret contest where if you land the word combination about which Onstad himself chuckled the most, he'll arrive at your front door and give you a high five or something.
taftd
+0 -0
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
mrwombat
+0 -0
They have been like that for a while. A week or two ago, there was a day when only cats would talk to Saul Bellow.
They have been like that for a while. A week or two ago, there was a day when only cats would talk to Saul Bellow.
fablesandblues
+18 -0
That sounds like the opening line to a post-modern, meta-fictive short story:
A week or two ago, there was a day when only cats would talk to Saul Bellow. He walked into diners and liquor stores with questions about the menu or finer wines, but the staff would only point and gesture. Passing a Tabby in an alley on the way to the fish market, though, he heard a small voice, which he mistook at first as the murmur of a tramp hidden in the half-blackened assortment of tin cans and newspapers and boxes, but which he quickly identified as belonging to the light, quick-eyed cat that sat near his feet and stared.
%u201CMind sparing a coin,%u201D the cat said, hopefully %u201Cor if not, a sliver of cheese or at least some stale bread.%u201D
The cat had ventured his request not dourly, and not without a childish air of plain sense. The cat found it no more remarkable to speak to Saul Bellow as he would to clean his paws. Bellow staggered away, and nearly ran into a businessman who glared at him forcefully, not even opening his mouth in astonishment.
That sounds like the opening line to a post-modern, meta-fictive short story:
A week or two ago, there was a day when only cats would talk to Saul Bellow. He walked into diners and liquor stores with questions about the menu or finer wines, but the staff would only point and gesture. Passing a Tabby in an alley on the way to the fish market, though, he heard a small voice, which he mistook at first as the murmur of a tramp hidden in the half-blackened assortment of tin cans and newspapers and boxes, but which he quickly identified as belonging to the light, quick-eyed cat that sat near his feet and stared.
%u201CMind sparing a coin,%u201D the cat said, hopefully %u201Cor if not, a sliver of cheese or at least some stale bread.%u201D
The cat had ventured his request not dourly, and not without a childish air of plain sense. The cat found it no more remarkable to speak to Saul Bellow as he would to clean his paws. Bellow staggered away, and nearly ran into a businessman who glared at him forcefully, not even opening his mouth in astonishment.
kickstart
+1 -0
meow meow lovely prose meow meow
meow meow lovely prose meow meow
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I've made this connection before, but the way you wrote that strongly suggests you've read Kafka on the Shore.
I've made this connection before, but the way you wrote that strongly suggests you've read Kafka on the Shore.
fablesandblues
+0 -0
I haven't actually. My friend recommended it to me after he saw Murakami read, but I have yet to pick it up. I was actually thinking mostly of Nabokov's metafiction....also of kitties.
I haven't actually. My friend recommended it to me after he saw Murakami read, but I have yet to pick it up. I was actually thinking mostly of Nabokov's metafiction....also of kitties.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
*Applause*
*Applause*
taftd
+0 -0
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
tekende
+2 -0
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
cromar
+1 -0
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
Did you two coordinate your avatars over breakfast this morning?
aki
+0 -0
Did you three coordinate your comments over lunch today?
Did you three coordinate your comments over lunch today?
tekende
+2 -0
I coordinated your mom over a late-night snack.
I coordinated your mom over a late-night snack.
jbushnell
+0 -0
Coordinate this [grabs junk]
Coordinate this [grabs junk]
tekende
+0 -0
HNNNAH!
HNNNAH!
stereo
+1 -0
I'm feeding you a stray cat!
this is not a metaphor
I'm feeding you a stray cat!
this is not a metaphor
octafish
+0 -0
Nooooooooo! Not Brian Setzer, don't feed him Brian!
Nooooooooo! Not Brian Setzer, don't feed him Brian!
awko
+0 -0
I don't think I could eat a Stray Cat. Far too greasy for me.
I don't think I could eat a Stray Cat. Far too greasy for me.
daidai
+0 -0
I came way too close to making a Brian Peppers joke when I saw this. Must restrain.
I came way too close to making a Brian Peppers joke when I saw this. Must restrain.
katsura
+0 -0
Clafouti schwanz. It just rolls off the tongue.
Clafouti schwanz. It just rolls off the tongue.
spinynorman
+3 -0
Depends on the tongue. I'm willing to bet that Rod's can roll a lot of things, sometimes on, other times off.
Goddamn it, is there one statement in response to this strip that my mind can't somehow convert into a hardcore, homosexual innuendo? This is up there for weird mondays.
Depends on the tongue. I'm willing to bet that Rod's can roll a lot of things, sometimes on, other times off.
Goddamn it, is there one statement in response to this strip that my mind can't somehow convert into a hardcore, homosexual innuendo? This is up there for weird mondays.
drskradley
+0 -0
Quote:
I BET YOU ARE...
Quote:
This is up there for weird mondays.
I BET YOU ARE...
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Especially considering it's TUESDAY here.
Especially considering it's TUESDAY here.
akarroa
+0 -0
You. Me. Rascaldom.
Pikachu Avatar Club.
(maybe dropkickpikachu if they show up again.)
You. Me. Rascaldom.
Pikachu Avatar Club.
(maybe dropkickpikachu if they show up again.)
daidai
+0 -0
Wouldn't you technically be a ditto avatar, my good sir?
Why, yes. Yes you would.
Wouldn't you technically be a ditto avatar, my good sir?
Why, yes. Yes you would.
ferae_machinae
+0 -0
I just thought pikachu grew balls.
I just thought pikachu grew balls.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And made the ill-advised decision of sitting square on them. Hence the expression.
And made the ill-advised decision of sitting square on them. Hence the expression.
akarroa
+0 -0
It's Pikagoo .
It's Pikagoo .
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Another comment from my unnamed friend.
"I bet Pat was pissed about that shoe being in the picture. I'd assume it's Rod's, and Pat refuses to Photoshop it out so he can constantly remind Rod of how he ruined this moment."
Another comment from my unnamed friend.
"I bet Pat was pissed about that shoe being in the picture. I'd assume it's Rod's, and Pat refuses to Photoshop it out so he can constantly remind Rod of how he ruined this moment."
tekende
+5 -0
What kind of parents don't bother to name their child?
What kind of parents don't bother to name their child?
achilleselbow
+5 -0
Children like that grow up with low self-esteem and end up posting blank lines on internet forums.
Children like that grow up with low self-esteem and end up posting blank lines on internet forums.
bixschmix
+0 -0
He's being pomo, can't you see? It's really so intelligent and edgy it's going over all of our heads.
He's being pomo, can't you see? It's really so intelligent and edgy it's going over all of our heads.
tekende
+0 -0
It's so...important
It's so...frikkin' sweet
It's so...important
It's so...frikkin' sweet
bixschmix
+0 -0
GUESS WHO CAME HOME TO FIND HER COPY OF THE GOF WAITING AT THE DOOR?
Probably lots of people. But one of them was me!
GUESS WHO CAME HOME TO FIND HER COPY OF THE GOF WAITING AT THE DOOR?
Probably lots of people. But one of them was me!
falseprophet
+0 -0
GUESS WHO GOT A COPY OF THE GOF FREE FROM WORK?
Aw suki suki now.
GUESS WHO GOT A COPY OF THE GOF FREE FROM WORK?
Aw suki suki now.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Who do you work for that is so incredibly AWESOME?
Who do you work for that is so incredibly AWESOME?
falseprophet
+0 -0
I'm in public broadcasting.
I'm in public broadcasting.
kamet
+0 -0
Don't let them file it... you know where.
Don't let them file it... you know where.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Baby you know there's only one place I'm ever gonna file it don't let them bitches make you jealous.
Now get on in that kitchen and cook me some chicken.
Baby you know there's only one place I'm ever gonna file it don't let them bitches make you jealous.
Now get on in that kitchen and cook me some chicken.
kamet
+0 -0
I'm gonna have a great recipe for chicken tomorrow.
I'm gonna have a great recipe for chicken tomorrow.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Tomorrow puts on a french maid outfit for today.
Tomorrow puts on a french maid outfit for today.
falseprophet
+0 -0
He's shootin a load of collectivist bullshit all over my face no pomo.
He's shootin a load of collectivist bullshit all over my face no pomo.
morbo
+0 -0
When parents got kids named Baba O'Riley at all in this day, maybe it's better if they don't try.
When parents got kids named Baba O'Riley at all in this day, maybe it's better if they don't try.
kickstart
+1 -0
have fun being in or near the house, Morbo
have fun being in or near the house, Morbo
retro
+0 -0
Rod has beed photog'd by professionals before. Professionals who photoshop out chairbacks and electrical sockets. Typical Pat, taking the time to add a photo credit, but leave the shoe...
Rod has beed photog'd by professionals before. Professionals who photoshop out chairbacks and electrical sockets. Typical Pat, taking the time to add a photo credit, but leave the shoe...
charhe
+1 -0
It's really more of a label. You see the shoe, look down and see the photo credit, and then say to yourself, 'Who's the guy who sucks? Pat. He does.'
How unintentionally helpful Pat can be.
It's really more of a label. You see the shoe, look down and see the photo credit, and then say to yourself, 'Who's the guy who sucks? Pat. He does.'
How unintentionally helpful Pat can be.
octafish
+0 -0
Sometimes Rod sucks as well...
Sometimes Rod sucks as well...
i_love_kate
+1 -0
lol bcuz he gay
lol bcuz he gay
skoora
+1 -0
I once had gazpacho buns, but then I had to go to the hospital for my blood diarrhea.
I once had gazpacho buns, but then I had to go to the hospital for my blood diarrhea.
mrwombat
+0 -0
These things happen. Nobody's to blame.
These things happen. Nobody's to blame.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Skoora sat down for a lovely meal of gazpacho buns. The explosive force of his diarrhea spewed blood against the wall behind him. Him and his wife had just had the dining room wallpapered. So it goes.
Skoora sat down for a lovely meal of gazpacho buns. The explosive force of his diarrhea spewed blood against the wall behind him. Him and his wife had just had the dining room wallpapered. So it goes.
mrwombat
+0 -0
Interesting. Today, I inspire elaboration.
Interesting. Today, I inspire elaboration.
stereo
+0 -0
And the plate sat passively, for it was a plate and not prone to thought. The lightbulb flickered balefully, dreaming of its heady youth in the lightbulb factory where there had been a great gnashing of filament-twisting machines. And so on...
And the plate sat passively, for it was a plate and not prone to thought. The lightbulb flickered balefully, dreaming of its heady youth in the lightbulb factory where there had been a great gnashing of filament-twisting machines. And so on...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
sje46
+0 -0
. . .breakfast of champions?
yes? no?
. . .breakfast of champions?
yes? no?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
sje46
+0 -0
I have one thing to say about that.
Raddest. Meta. Novel. Ever.
I have one thing to say about that.
Raddest. Meta. Novel. Ever.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Seriously, my favorite Vonnegut (of the two I read). But that ending is amazing, which is why I specifically chose that drawing and not, say, the asshole or the hairy beaver(s) or 1492 etc.
Seriously, my favorite Vonnegut (of the two I read). But that ending is amazing, which is why I specifically chose that drawing and not, say, the asshole or the hairy beaver(s) or 1492 etc.
sje46
+0 -0
Haha, classics.
I like Slaughterhouse too. I'm not sure which one i like better.
What was the other one you read?
Haha, classics.
I like Slaughterhouse too. I'm not sure which one i like better.
What was the other one you read?
invidious
+0 -0
Give Mother Night a try. Less culturally trendy but (in my mind) a better novel than Breakfast of Champions (but maybe not quite at Slaughterhouse-Five 's level).
Give Mother Night a try. Less culturally trendy but (in my mind) a better novel than Breakfast of Champions (but maybe not quite at Slaughterhouse-Five 's level).
akarroa
+0 -0
"Slaughterhouse-five. It's a classic."
"Not in this town it ain't"
"Slaughterhouse-five. It's a classic."
"Not in this town it ain't"
biff
+0 -0
Footloose, the coach.
Footloose, the coach.
quazifuji
+0 -0
I just bought Breakfast of Champions yesterday, and am looking forward to read it.
Mother Night has also been recommended to me, but the book store did not have it.
I just bought Breakfast of Champions yesterday, and am looking forward to read it.
Mother Night has also been recommended to me, but the book store did not have it.
sje46
+0 -0
Never read Mother Night.
Peopel seem to really like it.
Anyone read--haha--God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian?
Never read Mother Night.
Peopel seem to really like it.
Anyone read--haha--God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That blew my mind because I like BoC more than S5 so saying MN < S5 > BoC = N-o-W = Martin ScorCrazy.
Listen: Nice-on-water coined the phrase "Martin ScorCrazy."
Anyway, yes I will try it. And Cat's Cradle and Welcome To The Monkeyhouse and God Bless You Mr. Rosewater etc.
That blew my mind because I like BoC more than S5 so saying MN < S5 > BoC = N-o-W = Martin ScorCrazy.
Listen: Nice-on-water coined the phrase "Martin ScorCrazy."
Anyway, yes I will try it. And Cat's Cradle and Welcome To The Monkeyhouse and God Bless You Mr. Rosewater etc.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Slaughterhouse. I think that's the one Vonnegut book most people read anyway.
Slaughterhouse. I think that's the one Vonnegut book most people read anyway.
pravda
+0 -0
Really it is. It made a single tear roll down my cheek.
Also I really like Cat's Cradle, mainly for the Bokononisms.
Really it is. It made a single tear roll down my cheek.
Also I really like Cat's Cradle, mainly for the Bokononisms.
retinarow
+0 -0
I see a woman's body.
Y/N?
I see a woman's body.
Y/N?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You see Kurt Vonnegut's face. Y.
You see Kurt Vonnegut's face. Y.
sje46
+0 -0
How?
How?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Now? Brown? Cow?
Now? Brown? Cow?
kamet
+0 -0
What's new with you?
What's new you ask, well, CAN I MOO!!!
It's MILKO!! MILKO!!!
What's new with you?
What's new you ask, well, CAN I MOO!!!
It's MILKO!! MILKO!!!
ferae_machinae
+0 -0
Vertigo
Vertigo
sje46
+0 -0
YOU PEOPLE KEEP CONFUSING ME.
(stream-of-consciousness comments makes me sad)
YOU PEOPLE KEEP CONFUSING ME.
(stream-of-consciousness comments makes me sad)
octafish
+0 -0
...wait is that the lightbulb story from Gravity's Rainbow ? A... and is that a consious or unconsious Vonnegurt reference with "So it goes"?
...wait is that the lightbulb story from Gravity's Rainbow ? A... and is that a consious or unconsious Vonnegurt reference with "So it goes"?
stereo
+0 -0
Not intentionally, I haven't read Gravity's Rainbow ... and yes it is a Vonnegut reference.
Not intentionally, I haven't read Gravity's Rainbow ... and yes it is a Vonnegut reference.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
HE and his wife. Sorry.
HE and his wife. Sorry.
bumpishound
+0 -0
skoora was like, "nurse bitches do NOT listen!"
skoora was like, "nurse bitches do NOT listen!"
daidai
+0 -0
Of course, the least often used combination for Rod is Biscuit Root for obvious reasons.
Of course, the least often used combination for Rod is Biscuit Root for obvious reasons.
smilebuddha
+10 -0
Considering that Rod is dressed up like Yum-Yum from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado , his predilection towards sweets-laden nicknames is pretty pronounced:
As taken from "Three Little Maids":
A picture of Rod Huggins, who un-aware-y
is standing on a chair by his solitary;
Looking like a Nipponese Sugar Plum Fairy:
Rod Huggins and Custard Buns;
Rod Hug-gins aaaaannnd Cusss-tard Buns!
(doo doo doo/doo doo doo/doo doo doo/doo doo doo/da doo da doo doo doo da doo/DAAA DOOO)
Considering that Rod is dressed up like Yum-Yum from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado , his predilection towards sweets-laden nicknames is pretty pronounced:
As taken from "Three Little Maids":
A picture of Rod Huggins, who un-aware-y
is standing on a chair by his solitary;
Looking like a Nipponese Sugar Plum Fairy:
Rod Huggins and Custard Buns;
Rod Hug-gins aaaaannnd Cusss-tard Buns!
(doo doo doo/doo doo doo/doo doo doo/doo doo doo/da doo da doo doo doo da doo/DAAA DOOO)
kickstart
+1 -0
you are the captain of the HMS Chubby today, good sir.
you are the captain of the HMS Chubby today, good sir.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
How de doo, Custard Buns. How de doo.
How de doo, Custard Buns. How de doo.
pogo
+0 -0
I'd also consider Madame Butterfly as his role.
I'd also consider Madame Butterfly as his role.
dwodles
+0 -0
After my first day of classes, I'm so glad I came home to this.
After my first day of classes, I'm so glad I came home to this.
stereo
+0 -0
Biscuit buns? I'm hesitating to use biscuit buns but I think it's the firmest option.
Alls I'm saying is that Rod has firm buns.
Clafouti patootie is always an option.
Biscuit buns? I'm hesitating to use biscuit buns but I think it's the firmest option.
Alls I'm saying is that Rod has firm buns.
Clafouti patootie is always an option.
chloraloner
+1 -0
I'm still waiting for the Ramses Smuckels Flowchart, meself.
I'm still waiting for the Ramses Smuckels Flowchart, meself.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh God that would destroy my brain.
Oh God that would destroy my brain.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
You've woken up.
----> Kick a man's ass?
- yes
- double yes
----> Vote?
- yes
- immediately
You've woken up.
----> Kick a man's ass?
- yes
- double yes
----> Vote?
- yes
- immediately
nice-on-water
+0 -0
--->Be raw
- it is not a question
--->Be raw
- it is not a question
invidious
+0 -0
You are awake. Is the sun up?
-no
Call the sun, tell it to get it's gold-brickin' ass out of bed and get to work.
You are awake. Is the sun up?
-no
Call the sun, tell it to get it's gold-brickin' ass out of bed and get to work.
stereo
+50 -0
drskradley
+1 -0
"President Mistaken"
"President Mistaken"
irondave
+1 -0
"Handle It" makes the whole apparatus go.
"Handle It" makes the whole apparatus go.
thesoulbear
+0 -0
I logged on just to give this a chubby.
The Man with the Blood on His Hands has no mercy for blubbering.
I logged on just to give this a chubby.
The Man with the Blood on His Hands has no mercy for blubbering.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
V-chub, oh generous one.
V-chub, oh generous one.
chaobell
+0 -0
Duly chubbed.
Duly chubbed.
elscoob
+0 -0
I had no notion, when I started looking in on the comments on this particular strip, that I would find something worthy of a chubby. Consider me Geek, Mistaken, and most certainly put me down in the column of Handled. Put you down in the column of Chubbied.
I had no notion, when I started looking in on the comments on this particular strip, that I would find something worthy of a chubby. Consider me Geek, Mistaken, and most certainly put me down in the column of Handled. Put you down in the column of Chubbied.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
I like the idea that, if there are no miscreants in the area, Ramses Luther Smuckles will simply stay in one place, spinning slowly.
I like the idea that, if there are no miscreants in the area, Ramses Luther Smuckles will simply stay in one place, spinning slowly.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Why is he wearing a fan on his head.
Why is he wearing a fan on his head.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The ways of the Japanese and gay male cat porn stars are shrouded in mystery.
The ways of the Japanese and gay male cat porn stars are shrouded in mystery.
jonno
+0 -0
Indeed.
Indeed.
octafish
+0 -0
Two hands (paws?), two fans, one down low and in front, one up high and behind. I imagine they where fluttering when Pat took this pic.
Two hands (paws?), two fans, one down low and in front, one up high and behind. I imagine they where fluttering when Pat took this pic.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh right. Shit. That makes sense. Hooray for sensible people.
Oh right. Shit. That makes sense. Hooray for sensible people.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Because if he wears it anywhere else, it chafes.
Because if he wears it anywhere else, it chafes.
possums
+0 -0
So gay.
So gay.
octafish
+3 -0
... Falwell
Big Weinerthing, he blew
He blew, he blew
He blew you and you and you
The son has gone
To bed and so must I
So gay, Falwell
Big weinerthing, goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
... Falwell
Big Weinerthing, he blew
He blew, he blew
He blew you and you and you
The son has gone
To bed and so must I
So gay, Falwell
Big weinerthing, goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
pogo
+0 -0
The gayest.
The gayest.
ferae_machinae
+2 -0
You've stopped been funny ever since you changed your avatar.
You've stopped been funny ever since you changed your avatar.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Pogo's jumped the shark, everyone. Maybe he finally got senility.
Pogo's jumped the shark, everyone. Maybe he finally got senility.
tekende
+0 -0
He's gonna do a urine on hisself!
He's gonna do a urine on hisself!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Who will offer to chew his food for him?
Who will offer to chew his food for him?
tekende
+0 -0
His cousin?
His cousin?
slab64
+0 -0
Aliis' boobs
Aliis' boobs
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Do you remember that discussion a while back about how everything said next to the avatar of the crying eagle backed with the American flag seems incredibly poignant and important?
It's still true.
Do you remember that discussion a while back about how everything said next to the avatar of the crying eagle backed with the American flag seems incredibly poignant and important?
It's still true.
pravda
+1 -0
I have a friend who happens to be gay and I always thought he reminded me of Rod Huggins. Now seeing Rod dressed as a geisha just like Justin does when going in drag... it's just fucking perfect Perfect . Mr. Onstad is eerily accurate at depicting the mannerisms of homosexuals.
And yes I am sure that I am referring to a friend and not in fact to me .
I have a friend who happens to be gay and I always thought he reminded me of Rod Huggins. Now seeing Rod dressed as a geisha just like Justin does when going in drag... it's just fucking perfect Perfect . Mr. Onstad is eerily accurate at depicting the mannerisms of homosexuals.
And yes I am sure that I am referring to a friend and not in fact to me .
norrin
+0 -0
Are you sure you have friends?
Sorry. I am always in attack mode.
Are you sure you have friends?
Sorry. I am always in attack mode.
falseprophet
+0 -0
CLITS
LOVE THEM
LOVE. THEM.
I SAID I FUCKING LOVE THEM!
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!
CLITS
LOVE THEM
LOVE. THEM.
I SAID I FUCKING LOVE THEM!
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!
falseprophet
+9 -0
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
lol deh gay boiz gon git it on.
lol deh gay boiz gon git it on.
drskradley
+0 -0
He's right, you know.
He's right, you know.
sje46
+0 -0
He's a very wise person.
He's a very wise person.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
He's very popular.
He's very popular.
akarroa
+0 -0
He speaks in his own beautiful language.
He speaks in his own beautiful language.
fablesandblues
+3 -0
He says what we are all thinking, but cannot fathom putting into language. He speaks the way myth would sound as pure music. He writes like blood, falling from a priest's ear, staining fine linen and scattering symbols of our most delicate and innumerable ideas.
deh gay boiz gon git it on indeed, Sir. Indeed.
I'm not being sarcastic.
He says what we are all thinking, but cannot fathom putting into language. He speaks the way myth would sound as pure music. He writes like blood, falling from a priest's ear, staining fine linen and scattering symbols of our most delicate and innumerable ideas.
deh gay boiz gon git it on indeed, Sir. Indeed.
I'm not being sarcastic.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oi think he's got beautiful legs!
Oi think he's got beautiful legs!
cromar
+0 -0
DAMN
DAMN
sje46
+0 -0
A comment left by sje46 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, FablesandBlues, IronDave)
A comment left by sje46 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, FablesandBlues, IronDave)
ferae_machinae
+0 -0
A comment left by ferae_machinae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, FablesandBlues, IronDave, gowerski)
A comment left by ferae_machinae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, FablesandBlues, IronDave, gowerski)
gowerski
+0 -0
equity comes!
equity comes!
hamscout
+1 -0
=EARN IT=
=EARN IT=
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, come on! Don't lame the person!
Be like me, and never lame anyone ever, unless it's truly offensive.
*chubby*
Oh, come on! Don't lame the person!
Be like me, and never lame anyone ever, unless it's truly offensive.
*chubby*
drskradley
+1 -0
Quote:
That's so good I'm going to steal it and there's not a fucking thing you can do to stop me. Have a chubby in exchange.
Quote:
He speaks the way myth would sound as pure music. He writes like blood, falling from a priest's ear, staining fine linen and scattering symbols of our most delicate and innumerable ideas.
That's so good I'm going to steal it and there's not a fucking thing you can do to stop me. Have a chubby in exchange.
sje46
+0 -0
Quick! Copyright it!
Quick! Copyright it!
fablesandblues
+0 -0
F Word.
This always happens. I write something and then drskradly comes and steals it by cutting it out of my brain with a scalpal and sharpie.
F word f word.
F Word.
This always happens. I write something and then drskradly comes and steals it by cutting it out of my brain with a scalpal and sharpie.
F word f word.
sje46
+0 -0
Watch your abbreviations.
Watch your abbreviations.
fablesandblues
+1 -1
I watched your mom's abbreviations last night.
I watched your mom's abbreviations last night.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes, thanks very much for that; you are a very kind soul indeed. She couldn't watch them herself because of the function she had to go to, and it really was last minute. You sure you don't want compensation?
Yes, thanks very much for that; you are a very kind soul indeed. She couldn't watch them herself because of the function she had to go to, and it really was last minute. You sure you don't want compensation?
tekende
+0 -0
Classy.
Classy.
fablesandblues
+1 -0
The Revd. and the Prof. were great little abbreviations, but the Gov't. got a bit out of hand.
The Revd. and the Prof. were great little abbreviations, but the Gov't. got a bit out of hand.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Chum Oven. Have you been fishing ever? Do you know how chum smells, after a hot day in a boat? Fuck me, I would murder Huggins if his breath smelt like that, someone hand Pat Lyle's gun.
Chum Oven. Have you been fishing ever? Do you know how chum smells, after a hot day in a boat? Fuck me, I would murder Huggins if his breath smelt like that, someone hand Pat Lyle's gun.
chaobell
+0 -0
Never with actual chum, but if actual chum smells anything like catfish bait? If I were serving on the jury when you went to trial for shooting Rod, I could not in good conscience vote to convict you.
In fact, here in Texas, you could probably get the whole thing dismissed with the "he needed killin', Yer Honor" defense. Especially if you brought in a bucket of hot chum and/or bloody dough bait to illustrate why he needed killin'.
Never with actual chum, but if actual chum smells anything like catfish bait? If I were serving on the jury when you went to trial for shooting Rod, I could not in good conscience vote to convict you.
In fact, here in Texas, you could probably get the whole thing dismissed with the "he needed killin', Yer Honor" defense. Especially if you brought in a bucket of hot chum and/or bloody dough bait to illustrate why he needed killin'.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Chum would be like catfish bait, and then some. It's King Neptunes Box of Errata. Guts, heads, blood, often it's put through a blender or chopped up to some extent.
Chum would be like catfish bait, and then some. It's King Neptunes Box of Errata. Guts, heads, blood, often it's put through a blender or chopped up to some extent.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Thanks Google: bait consisting of chopped fish and fish oils that are dumped overboard to attract fish.
Thanks Google: bait consisting of chopped fish and fish oils that are dumped overboard to attract fish.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Google, huh? Thank Google? I tell you what, why don't you come on down here and chum some of this shit...
Google, huh? Thank Google? I tell you what, why don't you come on down here and chum some of this shit...
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Fine. Chopped up movie stars and movie star oils that are shredded overboard by a considerably intelligent predator.
Fine. Chopped up movie stars and movie star oils that are shredded overboard by a considerably intelligent predator.
deadpool
+0 -0
Is it just me or is there a fly on the wall up and to the right of Rod's head?
Is it just me or is there a fly on the wall up and to the right of Rod's head?
coldfrog
+0 -0
I earned that congratulations, I earned every pat on the back it entails. CONGRATULATIONS! There are enough boxes for everyone. Sugar Schwanz!
I earned that congratulations, I earned every pat on the back it entails. CONGRATULATIONS! There are enough boxes for everyone. Sugar Schwanz!
mrchee
+0 -0
well now
well now
hidden_7
+0 -0
The NO result is just so awful. Is... is this a situation any couple, gay, straight or otherwise (robots, boy and telepathic dog, asexual life-partners, etc.) finds itself in?
Person the First: Let's have sex
Person the Second: For various reasons, any of which will ring hollow to you, I cannot agree with your set course of action
Person the First: Come onn....
Person the Second: Fine, whatever, fuck me, I'm going to try and sleep through it, have fun.
Yikes! Dour.
The NO result is just so awful. Is... is this a situation any couple, gay, straight or otherwise (robots, boy and telepathic dog, asexual life-partners, etc.) finds itself in?
Person the First: Let's have sex
Person the Second: For various reasons, any of which will ring hollow to you, I cannot agree with your set course of action
Person the First: Come onn....
Person the Second: Fine, whatever, fuck me, I'm going to try and sleep through it, have fun.
Yikes! Dour.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think it's called being married, I mean amirite folks? I'll be here all week - don't forget to tip the veal and try your waitress, OH!
I think it's called being married, I mean amirite folks? I'll be here all week - don't forget to tip the veal and try your waitress, OH!
drskradley
+0 -0
The man is a pornstar. Sex is no thing for him.
He must never be constipated, now that I think about it. Having never had a phallus up my ass - let alone doing so so regularly as to make a living out of it - I can't say for certain that it would "open you up" more, permanently.
Unless he's a top, of course. And even then, he might still be ridin' spinnaz.
The man is a pornstar. Sex is no thing for him.
He must never be constipated, now that I think about it. Having never had a phallus up my ass - let alone doing so so regularly as to make a living out of it - I can't say for certain that it would "open you up" more, permanently.
Unless he's a top, of course. And even then, he might still be ridin' spinnaz.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
DrSkradley, I would direct you toward the necessity for adult undergarments in the more promiscuous of gay males. I have heard some dreadful tales.
DrSkradley, I would direct you toward the necessity for adult undergarments in the more promiscuous of gay males. I have heard some dreadful tales.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
oh my god the wails...
oh my god the wails...
drskradley
+0 -0
I have heard this, too, but assumed it to be merely an urban myth that goes around the traps of straight folk. All the gay guys I've known I have unfortunately not made scatological enquiries toward.
I have heard this, too, but assumed it to be merely an urban myth that goes around the traps of straight folk. All the gay guys I've known I have unfortunately not made scatological enquiries toward.
awko
+0 -0
What else is there to talk about during dinner parties?
What else is there to talk about during dinner parties?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
"A dude has rocked my can so much that it leaks! I never thought it would be like this!"
"A dude has rocked my can so much that it leaks! I never thought it would be like this!"
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Me thinks the good doctor doth protest too much.
Anyway, it's not only gay people who have this problem . It is also suffered by pornstars and old people.
Me thinks the good doctor doth protest too much.
Anyway, it's not only gay people who have this problem . It is also suffered by pornstars and old people.
pogo
+0 -0
This old person doesn't have sphincter paralysis yet!
This old person doesn't have sphincter paralysis yet!
redphillip
+0 -0
Urban myth, good doctor, for all that Saint Burroughs made such a great story of the asshole that grew teeth, talked, wandered off to find its own friends, etc.
It may surprise you to know that there is a significant subset of gay men (porn actors or no) who never allow any sort of insertive activity with their nether orifice.
The frequency of insertion, with flesh or synthetic, has little to no relation to the tone of the sphincter. Even if said flesh/synthetic is improbably large. It's mostly a matter of relaxation and practice. Kegels help, too, if you get worried.
(Sorry if this is more than you want to know, but your ignorance begs correction.)
Urban myth, good doctor, for all that Saint Burroughs made such a great story of the asshole that grew teeth, talked, wandered off to find its own friends, etc.
It may surprise you to know that there is a significant subset of gay men (porn actors or no) who never allow any sort of insertive activity with their nether orifice.
The frequency of insertion, with flesh or synthetic, has little to no relation to the tone of the sphincter. Even if said flesh/synthetic is improbably large. It's mostly a matter of relaxation and practice. Kegels help, too, if you get worried.
(Sorry if this is more than you want to know, but your ignorance begs correction.)
drskradley
+0 -0
Thank you for the enlightenment, as my lack of anal knowledge is oft telling. It's not more than I wanted to know, don't worry. The only reason I haven't had a chance to ask such questions to gay friends in pleasant company is because (a) it was mostly at the type of workplaces where you just don't ask that sorta thing, and (b) I previously used to hang out in mainly born-again Christian circles (long story, don't ask), where your chances of finding people batting for the other side are pretty slim at best.
However, I did actually know that some gay dudes are never bottoms and always tops (or never engage in anal at all with their partner{s}), and thus I kinda assumed that many of these never insert anything into their rectum.
That having been said, even though it may be possible that Rod Huggins specialises as a top, I kinda assumed that due to him being a veteran porn star he's taken it every possible many, many times - particularly early in his career in, I'm assuming, the 80's. My knowledge of the gay porn scene in the 80's or even the 90's is minimal at best, so I'm not sure if he could have put specifics on his performance and still made it so big. My thoughts on this are due to the state of straight porn nowadays, however, where chicks pretty much have to do everything.
That having been said, however, sometimes specifically saying that you won't do some things help make you big (the whole "any publicity is good publicity" thing) - for example, Janine Lindemulder . Again, gay porn probably works different, I don't know.
A frank discussion on porn.
Thank you for the enlightenment, as my lack of anal knowledge is oft telling. It's not more than I wanted to know, don't worry. The only reason I haven't had a chance to ask such questions to gay friends in pleasant company is because (a) it was mostly at the type of workplaces where you just don't ask that sorta thing, and (b) I previously used to hang out in mainly born-again Christian circles (long story, don't ask), where your chances of finding people batting for the other side are pretty slim at best.
However, I did actually know that some gay dudes are never bottoms and always tops (or never engage in anal at all with their partner{s}), and thus I kinda assumed that many of these never insert anything into their rectum.
That having been said, even though it may be possible that Rod Huggins specialises as a top, I kinda assumed that due to him being a veteran porn star he's taken it every possible many, many times - particularly early in his career in, I'm assuming, the 80's. My knowledge of the gay porn scene in the 80's or even the 90's is minimal at best, so I'm not sure if he could have put specifics on his performance and still made it so big. My thoughts on this are due to the state of straight porn nowadays, however, where chicks pretty much have to do everything.
That having been said, however, sometimes specifically saying that you won't do some things help make you big (the whole "any publicity is good publicity" thing) - for example, Janine Lindemulder . Again, gay porn probably works different, I don't know.
A frank discussion on porn.
redphillip
+0 -0
Within gay porn, it's often a selling point when a popular actor with a body of work (so to speak) as an exclusive top films his first scene in which he 'finally' bottoms. Interestingly, there is no similar excitement when an actor known as a bottom switches.
Rod could easily have a career in any decade performing in an exclusive role. It's more common that actors will be "versatile", often with a noticeable top/bottom bias, while many do perform across the spectrum.
Because the overt social structures of gender are absent, there isn't quite the same thing you describe in "chicks pretty much have to do everything." There are some tropes that echo male/female, aggressive/passive, dominant/submissive scripts common in the straight world, i.e, if there's a dark haired guy partnered with a blond guy, the blond usually gets topped; if one guy is taller, more muscular, more 'butch', he usually tops his partner; if one guy is obviously younger than the other, he is usually topped, etc. These 'usually' occurring imbalances are probably not greater than 60/40 to 70/30 tops (at least outside of niche genres), but they are frequent enough to be noticeable if you're inclined to pay attention to such things. (Deconstructing the sexual politics of what you're watching is not usually foremost in the mind of the viewer...)
Regarding your previous situations in the workplace and a born-again milieu: I understand both completely, and while I won't ask for the long story I will say that your chances of finding people admitting to batting for the other side were likely zero. Unless those circles comprised a very, very small population, chances are overwhelming that a few - at least - were there. Hella sad, that.
Within gay porn, it's often a selling point when a popular actor with a body of work (so to speak) as an exclusive top films his first scene in which he 'finally' bottoms. Interestingly, there is no similar excitement when an actor known as a bottom switches.
Rod could easily have a career in any decade performing in an exclusive role. It's more common that actors will be "versatile", often with a noticeable top/bottom bias, while many do perform across the spectrum.
Because the overt social structures of gender are absent, there isn't quite the same thing you describe in "chicks pretty much have to do everything." There are some tropes that echo male/female, aggressive/passive, dominant/submissive scripts common in the straight world, i.e, if there's a dark haired guy partnered with a blond guy, the blond usually gets topped; if one guy is taller, more muscular, more 'butch', he usually tops his partner; if one guy is obviously younger than the other, he is usually topped, etc. These 'usually' occurring imbalances are probably not greater than 60/40 to 70/30 tops (at least outside of niche genres), but they are frequent enough to be noticeable if you're inclined to pay attention to such things. (Deconstructing the sexual politics of what you're watching is not usually foremost in the mind of the viewer...)
Regarding your previous situations in the workplace and a born-again milieu: I understand both completely, and while I won't ask for the long story I will say that your chances of finding people admitting to batting for the other side were likely zero. Unless those circles comprised a very, very small population, chances are overwhelming that a few - at least - were there. Hella sad, that.
drskradley
+0 -0
Indeed, hella sad. But my, was this a lovely conversation about the gay porn biz! I believe you have enlightened many who read this. My hat is off, good sir.
Indeed, hella sad. But my, was this a lovely conversation about the gay porn biz! I believe you have enlightened many who read this. My hat is off, good sir.
theirateturk
+0 -0
PAT IS A HOMOSEXUAL? :confused:
PAT IS A HOMOSEXUAL? :confused:
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you're doing here. With hedonismbot mysteriously vanished and yearsinhotclaws long gone, you alone carry the mantle of the consistently offensive persona. My hat is off to you.
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you're doing here. With hedonismbot mysteriously vanished and yearsinhotclaws long gone, you alone carry the mantle of the consistently offensive persona. My hat is off to you.
theirateturk
+1 -0
Hey it's not my fault that the world has become a pussy-whipped, Brady Bunch version of itself, run by a bunch of robed sissies.
Hey it's not my fault that the world has become a pussy-whipped, Brady Bunch version of itself, run by a bunch of robed sissies.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Hey, man. Leave the pope alone.
Hey, man. Leave the pope alone.
hygraed
+0 -0
Gelato Schwanz sounds like an insult.
Gelato Schwanz sounds like an insult.
redemption_song
+1 -1
Dear Assetbar,
I work in a big factory for a big company. I got moved to a new job recently - I am a weld inspector. This means that when a welder is done welding up a part, I check it out to see if it conforms to the blueprints and specifications. I document any non-conformities (defects) that I find, and these have to be fixed before the part is sent down the assembly line. It is pretty boring because in an 8 hour shift I spend maybe only 2 hours inspecting stuff and the rest of the time waiting to have something to inspect. It takes maybe 5 minutes to inspect a part.
So like I said I have a very boring job so lately I started to experiment with being more faithful to the blueprints and specifications. I don't think I'm anal or anything, but everyone else thinks I'm crazy. Like take a 10mm weld for instance. Both legs of a 10mm weld should measure, you guessed it, 10mm, give or take. And most welders don't have a problem with that concept, but some of them will produce a weld that is 10mm by, oh, say, 25mm. So it's a pretty lopsided weld. So I'm not a weld engineer so I don't know if that is going to screw with the structural integrety of the part or whatever. Obviously, if you are talking about a 10mm weld, that is a part that is expected to undergo a lot of stress in it's lifetime. 10mm is actually a relatively small weld for most of the stuff we build. Many of the welds are 12 or 14mm. So the parts are designed with some pretty crazy stress analysis in mind... for example, the steel is actually expected to flex a certain amount in service... steel plates that are 1/2 or 1 inch thick... crazy stuff.
So anyway, our specifications are very clear that they don't want any weld to be any more than 25% oversized. So for a 10mm weld that comes out to 12.5mm maximum allowed size. And so it doesn't matter if the weld is 15mm or 25mm, people think I'm crazy for writing it up as a defect, because they say the bigger the weld the stronger the part will be. I dunno though... especially with a 12mm weld that is supposed to be a three pass weld weld, two passes showing... you got a stacked weld, and you somehow managed to make it lopsided... it would be one thing if you made a 25x25mm weld.. yes, that would be strong as hell... it would not give... but 10mm by 25mm... you're doing something wrong... who knows what that will do to the weld... who knows what you fucked up in order to achieve that... it's like, the second pass in some cases is barely even involved in the weld stack, just part of it's top leg overlapped by the last pass. We are welding with .052" wire, MIG, um... usually around 450 inches / minute and like... 30 some odd volts if I remember correctly...35 volts? something to that effect.
it's kind of weird, this bureaucracy... no one really cares one way or the other, and there's nothing to really motivate them to care. So the welders are, some of them, pretty pissy with me because I make their job more difficult by marking up defects. That means that they have to fix the defect, or wait until I leave and then find another inspector to give their 'defective' weld the OK, which of course, given the quality culture we have going on, isn't hard to do, at all.
anyway. any advice would be appreciated.
Dear Assetbar,
I work in a big factory for a big company. I got moved to a new job recently - I am a weld inspector. This means that when a welder is done welding up a part, I check it out to see if it conforms to the blueprints and specifications. I document any non-conformities (defects) that I find, and these have to be fixed before the part is sent down the assembly line. It is pretty boring because in an 8 hour shift I spend maybe only 2 hours inspecting stuff and the rest of the time waiting to have something to inspect. It takes maybe 5 minutes to inspect a part.
So like I said I have a very boring job so lately I started to experiment with being more faithful to the blueprints and specifications. I don't think I'm anal or anything, but everyone else thinks I'm crazy. Like take a 10mm weld for instance. Both legs of a 10mm weld should measure, you guessed it, 10mm, give or take. And most welders don't have a problem with that concept, but some of them will produce a weld that is 10mm by, oh, say, 25mm. So it's a pretty lopsided weld. So I'm not a weld engineer so I don't know if that is going to screw with the structural integrety of the part or whatever. Obviously, if you are talking about a 10mm weld, that is a part that is expected to undergo a lot of stress in it's lifetime. 10mm is actually a relatively small weld for most of the stuff we build. Many of the welds are 12 or 14mm. So the parts are designed with some pretty crazy stress analysis in mind... for example, the steel is actually expected to flex a certain amount in service... steel plates that are 1/2 or 1 inch thick... crazy stuff.
So anyway, our specifications are very clear that they don't want any weld to be any more than 25% oversized. So for a 10mm weld that comes out to 12.5mm maximum allowed size. And so it doesn't matter if the weld is 15mm or 25mm, people think I'm crazy for writing it up as a defect, because they say the bigger the weld the stronger the part will be. I dunno though... especially with a 12mm weld that is supposed to be a three pass weld weld, two passes showing... you got a stacked weld, and you somehow managed to make it lopsided... it would be one thing if you made a 25x25mm weld.. yes, that would be strong as hell... it would not give... but 10mm by 25mm... you're doing something wrong... who knows what that will do to the weld... who knows what you fucked up in order to achieve that... it's like, the second pass in some cases is barely even involved in the weld stack, just part of it's top leg overlapped by the last pass. We are welding with .052" wire, MIG, um... usually around 450 inches / minute and like... 30 some odd volts if I remember correctly...35 volts? something to that effect.
it's kind of weird, this bureaucracy... no one really cares one way or the other, and there's nothing to really motivate them to care. So the welders are, some of them, pretty pissy with me because I make their job more difficult by marking up defects. That means that they have to fix the defect, or wait until I leave and then find another inspector to give their 'defective' weld the OK, which of course, given the quality culture we have going on, isn't hard to do, at all.
anyway. any advice would be appreciated.
saulbellow
+2 -0
Hi, you appear to be lost.
An earlier Achewood strip noted that "there seems to be some difference between e-mail and the Internet."
Well, this is just one of those situations. What you intended was to communicate a question to someone who would have any idea what you were talking about. Electronic mail, or "e-mail", is perfect for that! On the other hand, the Internet is a collection of "web pages" -- sometimes those web pages let you add content of your own, but don't be confused -- those boxes inviting you to add "comments" or "replies" are not the same as e-mail.
I know this is a lot to drop on you all at once. Here's a web page (not an e-mail!) that might help:
https://www.learnthenet.com/
^ you have to "click" on that in order to access the "web page" and make it appear on your monitor (don't worry, that's not a giant lizard!)
Hi, you appear to be lost.
An earlier Achewood strip noted that "there seems to be some difference between e-mail and the Internet."
Well, this is just one of those situations. What you intended was to communicate a question to someone who would have any idea what you were talking about. Electronic mail, or "e-mail", is perfect for that! On the other hand, the Internet is a collection of "web pages" -- sometimes those web pages let you add content of your own, but don't be confused -- those boxes inviting you to add "comments" or "replies" are not the same as e-mail.
I know this is a lot to drop on you all at once. Here's a web page (not an e-mail!) that might help:
https://www.learnthenet.com/
^ you have to "click" on that in order to access the "web page" and make it appear on your monitor (don't worry, that's not a giant lizard!)
bixschmix
+0 -0
My advice is to get a blog, my dear Clafouti Tongue.
My advice is to get a blog, my dear Clafouti Tongue.
farqussus
+0 -0
tell me more about welds
tell me more about welds
octafish
+0 -0
Does anyone at your work dance?
Does anyone at your work dance?
kamet
+0 -0
We can dance.. if you want to.
We can dance.. if you want to.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
We can leave... your friends behind.
We can leave... your friends behind.
irondave
+0 -0
I don't really understand why you got several snarky responses. It can't be that your comment has nothing to do with the cartoon strip at the top of the page: that is routine here in Assetbar. I mean, people here are happy to generate an extended series of comments in response to literally nothing, as long as they get to show off how literate they are. No, your offense must be that you have veered off into matters of practical, commercial significance.
I am not knowledgeable about welding, but I am a quality engineer and quality manager by profession, and I will be happy to respond to you comment from general standpoint.
The plus or minus 25% specification sounds like a fairly arbitrary requirement. Your process may not really be able to produce that reliably, particularly on smaller welds. I don't know. Still, if it is a written specification, you are at some risk by ignoring it.
I think you would be smarter to focus on something else you said: "...you're doing something wrong...." Can you work with welders as they are setting up and help them make sure they will end up with the correct weld before they complete it and have you inspect it? That would seem to be more important than a small dimensional deviation, as you imply in your comment.
The weld dimensions you inspect are effects, but improvement can only come from action on causes. Everyone will benefit if you can focus on that.
I don't really understand why you got several snarky responses. It can't be that your comment has nothing to do with the cartoon strip at the top of the page: that is routine here in Assetbar. I mean, people here are happy to generate an extended series of comments in response to literally nothing, as long as they get to show off how literate they are. No, your offense must be that you have veered off into matters of practical, commercial significance.
I am not knowledgeable about welding, but I am a quality engineer and quality manager by profession, and I will be happy to respond to you comment from general standpoint.
The plus or minus 25% specification sounds like a fairly arbitrary requirement. Your process may not really be able to produce that reliably, particularly on smaller welds. I don't know. Still, if it is a written specification, you are at some risk by ignoring it.
I think you would be smarter to focus on something else you said: "...you're doing something wrong...." Can you work with welders as they are setting up and help them make sure they will end up with the correct weld before they complete it and have you inspect it? That would seem to be more important than a small dimensional deviation, as you imply in your comment.
The weld dimensions you inspect are effects, but improvement can only come from action on causes. Everyone will benefit if you can focus on that.
farqussus
+1 -0
Lucky for you, IRONdave was here to be interested in your specific problems
Lucky for you, IRONdave was here to be interested in your specific problems
c_dizzle
+0 -0
I'm saving and reprinting the dual column pet-name chart and hanging it in the bathroom.
I'm saving and reprinting the dual column pet-name chart and hanging it in the bathroom.
tekende
+0 -0
I am glad you have said this, because it makes me imagine you sitting on the toilet, addressing your turds with pet names as they drop into the water.
"Unh, there you are, pudding kisses!"
I am glad you have said this, because it makes me imagine you sitting on the toilet, addressing your turds with pet names as they drop into the water.
"Unh, there you are, pudding kisses!"
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm sticking one to the ceiling above my bed. Sometimes you run out of things to yell.
I'm sticking one to the ceiling above my bed. Sometimes you run out of things to yell.
kamet
+0 -0
Poor, poor Kate. Or perhaps I should say Poor, poor Gazpacho Finger.
Poor, poor Kate. Or perhaps I should say Poor, poor Gazpacho Finger.
steerpike66
+1 -0
I kinda don't like this one; it shines an uncomfortable spotlight on the fact that a lot of gay couples are bitchy, neutered, little pussy cats. It's so unattractive to me that it grosses me out a bit.
Am a a homophobic homosexual?
I kinda don't like this one; it shines an uncomfortable spotlight on the fact that a lot of gay couples are bitchy, neutered, little pussy cats. It's so unattractive to me that it grosses me out a bit.
Am a a homophobic homosexual?
filote88
+0 -0
For a cst, at sure has an amazing understanding of Japanese woodblocks. The pose and dainty hands say 'Utamaro, but the fat and hair say "transvestite samurai".
For a cst, at sure has an amazing understanding of Japanese woodblocks. The pose and dainty hands say 'Utamaro, but the fat and hair say "transvestite samurai".
asherdan
+0 -0
It's nice to know the Rod style pet name generator but I find it pretty neat-o that Pat got the M. Butterfly photo credit and left a shoe lying in frame. Rookie photo move = cool characterization add on. It's a nice reminder that this is basically a couple of dude sweaty-pet home photos.
It's nice to know the Rod style pet name generator but I find it pretty neat-o that Pat got the M. Butterfly photo credit and left a shoe lying in frame. Rookie photo move = cool characterization add on. It's a nice reminder that this is basically a couple of dude sweaty-pet home photos.
rhinoheart
+0 -0
rod as a geisha might be the scariest thing i have ever seen.
rod as a geisha might be the scariest thing i have ever seen.
Pain au Chocolat might as well be the title of my autobiography.
I'd have though Saul Bellow's life to be a bit more well-rounded.
At least it's not Vanilla Eyes.
Or Custard Buns. So squishy.
Ganache Mouth sounds like some kind of horrible disease.
Biscuit Mouth sounds like a layman's term for Halitosis.
Pot-de-Tongue is a famous Filipino delicacy (usually goat or dog). For dessert they make custard out of the eyes.
A comment left by -- was marked as spam and excluded. --: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, lastlarf, flynn)
A comment left by hexjumper was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by changuitotuerto, fancypants, IronDave, Audhumla)
A comment left by hexjumper was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, changuitotuerto, Audhumla)
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Why goats? I think you may have a preoccupation with goats.
Have I . . .have I mentioned goats before?
It took me awhile to think of a good animal to skin him alive. Then I said, whatever. NMountain goats are good enough.
I was going to go with monkeys, but I think that would have ruined it.
What's creepy is how precise it is: exactly thirty thousand line breaks.
I dunno.
What does the creep meter say about you knowing that it is exactly thirty thousand line breaks?
That I'm curious, consumed by detail and rather lonely?
To be honest I only used 'View Page Source' in the hope of finding a secret message.
You can do that for the individual comments?
No, but Find As You Type is a wonderful thing.
What is that.
Tom's of Maine, yes. I am in Maine. It's all we have :(
Yeah my dad was all on a health kick in 1996 and all we had was toms of maine in the house. I prefer Aim. It is palmolive for the mouth, genuine 1967 flavor.
also Lobsters.
and Non-Sequitur strips.
OK, you got me on that one.
Wait, I have come up with a solution to this problem. First, two users must be terribly in love and about to get married(let's use catgrl and...spineynorman), but they never do, because, , the nameless demon, starts terrorizing the community again, and spineynorman will sacrifice himself to kill it and protect his lover. Years later, catgrl is almost over her loss, but spineynorman has come back as another demon!! Together with the rest of the assetbar comunity, she battles him and slays him tragicly, while we grow closer as friends when fighting together. But wait, now aiu is the DRAGON NINJA MASTER , and...and..I forgot what I was saying.
W...what? I was away from Assetbar for two hours and now I'm engaged to spinynorman?
This is why we can't have nice things.
Wait, what the hell?
It's too late, spinynorman. Why don't you have a seat...
Ease up there Sherry Schwanz, it's the internet, these things happen.
Dear Assetbar:
Just put a freaking max-height descriptor in the CSS.
Seriously,
dangelder
A comment left by thorfinn was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeynarcotic, IronDave, Audhumla)
A comment left by connormc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Deusoma, IronDave, Audhumla)
In Mumbasa that is one of the most actual taunts
L
to the O
to the izz-L
A comment left by clever-nickname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by changuitotuerto, kenthegod, Audhumla)
It is shocking how much smaller the page gets after ignoring him/her/it.
IT'S BRILLIANT
love this post
love it
OH I GET IT NOW.
REPETITION SUDDENLY MAKES IT MORE CLEVER.
correct
Well. Congratulations everybody. Now the replies to the empty space are approximately as long as the empty space. Perhaps not quite as inane. Not quite.
No. That empty space is huge.
Who care how many replies there are?
Troll feeding = bad.
Yes, but if the thread has developed in such a way that everyone is now talking about completely unrelated things, it's not exactly feeding the troll. But now you've shifted the attention back to him. It's a perilous game we play.
we walk a god damn razor's edge is what it is.
Well, it looks like we overfed him, because he ain't replying.
And elbow is right. We aren't really feeding him.
youse all got a point.
like your avitar repeating over and over?
Like in that song. "Walrus" something or other.
"I Am The Walrus"
Beatles, Magical Mystery Tour
I love that song.
My facetiousness is pretty subtle, I guess.
I guess mine is too.
That's what I was hoping for.
I always thought you were lutherans.
Oh ha ha you see guys I was being facetious I actually read the whole conversation right guys?
It's hard not to read that withouth thinking "Faeces".
Why do I always get so confused here?
I dug.
Even intelligent people fall for that shit.
"Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!"
huh?
Are you allowed to be on Assetbar and miss a Donnie Darko reference?
A comment left by onepapertiger was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by farqussus, FablesandBlues, sleepyhead)
That movie. It's really popular around the internets. Maybe next time it's on Comedy Central I'll actually pay attention.
I've seen Donnie Darko too.
Yeah, that's a mistake you don't want to be makin round these parts.
I read that as " FUCK [the act of making] A Big Lebowski reference..." You're lucky my reading comprehension plays good cop bad cop with my hubris. Damn lucky.
Yeah, it's just a movie that I keep seeing parts of but not the whole thing. I had no idea it would become such a cult hit, and that it would have symbolism or whatever . . right?
Anyways, I'm sure it's a good movie; I just never paid attention.
You may have redeemed yourself one post later but FIE ON THEE FOR THY HEINOUS MISSPEAKAGE!
And now, ladies and gentlemen ... fresh off their two week eastern European tour ... Pudding Hammer!
Two weeks and they couldn't leave soon enough.
"Pudding Hammer"
It is, simultaneously, a Indie-Pop/Folk Metal band, both saccharinely happy and aggressively espousing their ancient pagan roots, with particular reference to both Norse mythology and traditional English desserts.
Think Architecture in Helsinki and The Polyphonic Spree meshed together with Skyclad and Gorgoroth.
I was envisioning Belle and Sebastian meets Candlemass
Pudding root is what happens after you drink too much whiskey.
The HELL that is what it means!
If whiskey makes you anything less than the man with abilities in his pants, then I don't even want to know you.
Biscuit Lips: psoriasis of the mouth.
A friend of mine was drunk and hooked up with a street walker with both Ganache Mouth AND Machaca Taco. He's been on a cocktail of pills to calm down the itching and swelling. Also he's sterile now.
i guess thats one better the roast beef taco
Isn't it funny how when you sometimes forget a letter, it makes a totally different word? SO FUNNY
Your their dude. Your defiantly their.
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by TommyTheBrat, changuitotuerto, Ferae_Machinae)
joke missed
We need a special graphic for this that someone can repost anytime this happens.
Yes great another image that would be as overused as William Shatner screaming "ASSETBAR" yes that is a good idea
*slinks away in shame*
Aww, I'm sorry achilleselbow. Here, I whipped up a couple prospective images.
In the second one, the pope is responding to questions about his involvement in the Hitler Youth.
Zing!
Seriously though, he supported the Nazis.
Seriously, though, he lived in Germany during the secon world war, and would thus have likely been made a pariah for not doing so. Or shot.
Oh, I'm sorry! Were we vilifying that guy?
Oh no, I just wanted to make a cheap and offensive joke. As a former Little Octobrist whose grandparents were Communist Party members, I know full well that one has little choice in the matter. Hell, if I'd stayed, I might be entrenched in Georgia right now, and not the one with sweet tea and hog barbecue.
What's an Octobrist?
I don't feel like getting into it, but there's a pretty good and relevant explanation here .
Goddammit Achilleselbow.
I thought I'd made it. I thought this whole stupid thing had blown over without me ever once falling for it.
You son of a bitch .
...chubby.
Come now, it sure is a lot more pleasant than those bad old days of goatserolling.
How did you get the URL to say that on the bottom of my screen?
That's a 'tinyurl' link.
Explanation here .
I knew that was coming.
But curiosity got me.
Actually that's more about the Decembrists. That is, if you accept that the titular pronoun is referring to Constantine.
Close, but not quite the correct revolutionary movement.
Basically, fans of the Decembrists.
The joke is that I am largely not really joking.
I would go on but I feel like I can't and not diss achilleselbow's grandparents. Also this is niether the time not the place to really get into that.
I thought it was about that incident where he castigated a subordinate by utilizing lightning bolts from his hands.
I feel we have just the right amount of Shatner screaming. I would also appreciate a special graphic for missed jokes.
Hey, if Marcel can spend three hundred pages talking about madelines, then I cannot finish this sentence because it is too obvious.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure his most authorized biography was Stop Writing About Me, Shithead.
saul bellow looks alot like don knotts
What is that?
Too lazy to google it.
What's google?
It's this delicious French pastry that's like a croissant... but with chocolate inside it.
It literally means chocolate bread.
And. Sometimes. A little bit. On the outside .
(That is to be the primary focus Chapter 8, if you were wondering.)
great. now i fucking must have one.
Trader Joe's has the dankest chocolate croissants. i'd let pat bone me for one of those right now.
Seconded. I have a friend who works in a hippie-esque co-op supermarket in brooklyn and when I visted her not long ago, she would come home with bags full of pastries. Lady sent me packing with a bag fulla croissant, chocolated and otherwise. She's a hell of a woman, and not just because she's like a pastry fairy.
The speed with which you heartily agreed to let a cartoon angry vegan cat bone you makes me think these must be heavenly pastries.
Dang, I never thought it would be like this! A dude is rocking my can while I eat this chocolate-filled pastry!
chocolate-filled pastry could, in and of itself, be a euphemism for a post-rocked can
Oh, terrible!
Or cream filled. Hopefully not also with strawberry...
Better than some other kinds of berries.
Jelly donut?
I'd imagine sex with Pat would be indescribably awful. Like soft and slow but also with strict guidelines and limitations. You go here, he goes there, he puts this in that, you say this...
... and then it's over. Oh, what a hell of a show
but what I want to know:
what exactly do you do for an encore? 'Cause this is Hardcore.
I'll confess I am not a Pulp fan, my wife is.
"Take me roughly from behind! No, not like that, like this! Trousers off, tackle out!"
I LOVE YOU
okay, so, my housemate dumpstered a case of frozen trader joe's chocolate croissants. when I moved in I wondered why there were SO MANY in the freezer, and then I decided to make them one morning... so I ate one. and then another. and then they sat in my stomach for the next million years and I realized that that's why there were so many. I think everyone just had to learn the lesson on their own. but they were dee-licious.
I don't know that there is a food out there that is so good that would make me be willing to "take one for the team" from an animal.
Well, maybe for a food related wish- If they would open a Chico's Tacos in my area, Pat could go to town all up in this.
Agh! Animal does sex with my zadnitsa!
Why this always happens to ME?
Looks . . .looks decent.
I didn't eat yet today. I want that.
Is ... Is this picture some sort of euphimism for Rod Huggins' pudding buns???
Chocolate bread.
I close my eyes and cross the street ag-
I'm sorry.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops de-
Wait, what?
Oh and also a joke about a pastry oven. (Huge slam on Sylvia Plath from out of nowhere?)
I think I made you up inside my he-
What are we doing, exactly?
Never gonna give you u-
Sorry, wrong meme. Carry on.
There is a meme where people quote cut off lines from Sylvia Plath poems? Could someone explain this please?