MmmmmmBillyJoelllll!<br /><br />Hey everybody! I'm comin' at you […]

I'm doin' a Grateful! I'm doin' a Grateful! <i>Watch out, everybody! You […]

<i>Daaang, you ain't too bad at fillin' out some briefs, Ray Smuckles—<[…]

There's a new basic Italian dude in town! I hella love the guy. His name's Vito[…]

Man, I had it large on Thanksgiving. The actual deal itself was small, just me […]

Man, it was good to see Beef and Molly kickin' around the pool again today […]

I'm sorry, but I just been havin' the greatest time lately. I been goin' to […]

Man, what a log ride it's been with this bald spot of mine. Last time I wrote I[…]

Like I was sayin' last time, it's been rough. I been monk dimin' for over a […]

Doggs,<br /><br />Man. This was a gravestone of a day. A tombstone[…]

<p class="MsoNormal">Alright, so as soon as I could make out […]

Man, you ain't gonna believe this. Remember those jars of Marmold, the artisan […]

Alright mates, I'm all checked in to the Harold Holt Surf-Inn and Lodge, and I […]

I wrote much plans for Roast Beef's bachelor party in this cool retro-lookin' […]

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m on the ground in Australia, and I’m […]

Daaaamn, people! We actually airborne and on the way to bad old Australia! […]

Dudes, my boy Roast Beef has got to get action-style on a wedding plan, 'cause […]

I'm writin' this to you on the plane to Australia! We left the gate at San […]

<p class="MsoNormal">Like I've said before, the main problem a […]

I tell you, man, I am seven kinds of beamed over my upcomin' trip to Australia[…]

I'm thinkin' bout goin' to Australia for a spell. Maybe a month or so. Strap on[…]

Man, you know how Roast Beef is. Dude has talent ten ways from Tuesday, plus he[…]

At first, it didn't seem like I was gonna go to a museum today. I got up at […]

Yeah, Bacon of the Month Club, whatever. It's like Onstad just discovered the […]

Man, today was TOTALLY unimportant! I just did COMPLETELY regular stuff. Here, […]

Hey, you dig how I did that little African thing there, callin' you all "m[…]

You know what? I am proud of Little Nephew. He got himself a job drivin' pizzas[…]

Yo, so I'm still, in a way, gettin' over the failure of the ENORMOUS BY RAY […]

Yo, peppers! I finally did it! A little while back, I learned a ton about […]

No, I ain't met some sex club worker named Butter, though you could believe […]

Man, I am pretty happy for Roast Beef today. Dude is makin' big strides in the […]

Damn, I just was downtown pickin' up these new pillows for my media center […]

Alright, so like I said, I finally had the chance to mourn the dude. I ain't […]

Man, I am doin' this right. I got a mimosa all fresh by my side, some chubby […]

Yeah, so last I posted, I was hosting ENORMOUS BY RAY SMUCKLES on Friday. Huge […]

Alright, I can't even be bothered to look up when the last time was that I […]

Alright, so I was down at T.G.I. Friday's, and that ain't normally a hang for […]

Alright, so I ain't gonna lie. I stone cold do not enjoy jogging, or distance […]

So, <a href="https://raysmuckles.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-am-horny.html&[…]

Hey, Chochachos.<br /><br />It is maybe not even twice in every […]

I was out on the back deck havin' a smoke just now when I heard another damn […]

Daaaamn! I was just out on the back deck when all of a sudden, beneath the […]

Good news, everybody! Not only was Christmas fun, but I got a great update from[…]

Hey, there! Happy holidays to you! And you there, behind the big leather chair[…]

Alright, so I didn't get out to see mom for Thanksgiving again this year, and […]

Hey, all. Yeah, this is Ray, here. I got much good wishes for you all this year[…]

Man, you know how this crazy big world is. At all times, while it spins, there […]

Man, I just got me the nastiest old head cold this fall season. I think it came[…]

So, bad week two ways (doesn't that sound like the name of a Chinese dish?!) —&[…]

Did folks like my ding dong update? I mean, I got a lot on my plate already […]

Just kidding! Hi, man. Thanks for dropping by old Ray's blog for some news that[…]

Seems that way sometimes, huh? On Friday I told myself that my Labor Day […]

Damn. So, as you know, last year Conchita quit on me, and even the chick who […]

Serious times, dogg. Paul down at Hidden Hills was helpin' me with my short […]

Dang, I forgot to post about this for like three or two weeks! I am such a […]

I ain't mind to tell you, I was a little concerned that Téodor was gettin' […]

So, doggies, you must have noticed that I ain't been writin' up too many of my […]

Dang, this one guy bought my "How Hangs Your Dirt" poem for two […]

Yo, so I had some poetry published in the Achewood strip a little while back, […]

Yeah, I got a job at Taco Bell. I applied for the job, and I got the job, and I[…]

I ain't need to tell you what this is like. There's nothin' in the oven, there'[…]

So, I had a couple old advice letters that never got answered in 2004 (I'm […]

Dang, I nearly forgot to say anything about Treasure, the high class escort I […]

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Georgia[…]

So I was pretty sure I could move the beans with my gardener, who is this cute […]

A lot of people think they know that I am a pretty bad gardener. Well, in the […]

So, I don't think I told you about my date with Scarlet from Purple Gypsy Art […]

You know how you kind of have a fond memory from childhood, like about a wheel-[…]

I ain't been around this blog in a long time, and just now I remembered about […]

Damn, I went through a spell there. I was pretty bent outta shape from some […]

<p>Man, it's been a while since I had a really big do on a Friday night. […]

Man, have you ever really thought about eggs? I have this hunch that eggs are […]

Damn! I did the most unusual thing for Christmas, but I felt pretty damn good […]

Damn, the holidays really snuck up on me this year! I been pretty busy (readin[…]

It's kinda fun havin' Beef as a housemate! It's like old knucklehead times, […]

Damn, you all know I wear my heart on my sleeve. Well, today I was down at […]

"I tell you, I got nothing but thanks this year. The good Lord has kept my[…]

Damn, cookies! I went to McDonald's like I said and ordered food enough for me […]

What does a dude do on a Wednesday? They're doin' that Monopoly thing down at […]

Man was I sweating as I waited for the STD test results. I was doin' that thing[…]

I guess kind of by my own intentions and also Tina's intentions, I ain't seen […]

Heh. Oh, man. This week was definitely not a repeat of last week's disaster. […]

Okay, sometimes certain ingredients shouldn't be put together. In this case, […]

Just kidding! Man, tonight's party is going to tear six kinds of new ass. First[…]

I been really tryin' to make this work. Tina is lookin' good, and it has been […]

So I guess it's been a while since I last blogged. Sorry, blog. I was not mad […]

Damn, I forgot to tell everybody about what I did for Friday night's party! […]

Tina and I went to see Goonies down at the Guild tonight (the Guild plays older[…]

Okay, so I mentioned that each of the gnomes hidden around my last party had a […]

Okay, so tonight's party has a Gnome theme. The people don't got to dress like […]

I did it, my doggies. Everything I said. Met Tina at the Chophouse, gave her a […]

Damn, you know how it is. You are just out, having your day, maybe shopping at […]

Damn! Chris took off for the last week, stone cold lying on various sides of […]

Okay, so as you might have read, Waterbury turned out to be a spy and he ain't […]

Waterbury totally rescued us from throwing a "cone" party! Man, with […]

Me and the fellas got kind of <em>exclusive</em> last night over at[…]

It's been a while since I had some wine! I got to tell you, I been kind of […]

Damn but that dude took care of Friday's party! As you may have read I was not […]

Whew, I almost forgot to plan tonight's party! These Olympics are really […]

Dang, people! What with me havin' a bad case of Olympic Fever, I nearly forgot […]

Man, I am already excited about tomorrow. I figured out tonight, the theme of […]

Man, one thing that sucks is when a friend has his heart broken. I'm talking […]

We got this row of palms along one side of the property, and today they got me […]

Waterbury found me toolin' around in the kitchen yesterday, making an Awesome. […]

It turns out that the ASIMO has all kinds of optical sensors and stuff in its […]

It's Friday, dude! What could be better. Tonight's party is gonna set the New […]

I think I played Téodor too soon after my lessons, because I hadn't fully […]

Man, I had a pretty good round with Téodor this weekend! I put the beat on him […]

Man, this guy is ten kinds of classic! Today as I was just comin' to he came […]

Already the dude is totally amazing! I told him about how we usually throw a […]

Ha haaaaaaa! Man, I am so glad I found this old Dress Me Up Ken Doll! I had a […]

Well, it ain't really a game per se, it's more like one of those dress-up Ken […]

Man, I knew it was bound to happen. I got my old game back, I found my form! […]

...because it's a <strong><em>Chochacho Night Friday!</em><[…]

I was talkin' to Téodor today and I got a little more insight into why Conchita[…]

What the hell, people?! So this morning she brings me in my bloody mary and […]

I got this friend from way back on the grounds, you know, Smacks Peel. He got […]

...and that means old Ray has scared up a mess of fine ideas for his guests! […]

I had this dream last night that I was playing pool with all these Italians in […]

I just checked my e-mail and there are all <i>kinds</i> of […]

Man, last night was a hell of a burn! I thought I had my game all figured out: […]

It must have been their fill-in kid giving the lessons today, because he wasn't[…]

Daaamn, I invited Cornelius over for some pool tonight (I discovered that he […]

Feelin' <i>good</i> today. Since Molly and Beef stayed over last […]

Man, did we set us up a good one today! Dimitri came by with some new stuff he'[…]

Man, they got this dude named Ken Jenkins on Jeopardy these days and he is like[…]

I ain't much of a camper, I got to admit. I don't like it if I can't take a […]

Okay, so what Pat wanted was to tell me that he just got his driver's license […]

It is such a great day around here. It is completely sunny with a nice breeze, […]

I try to watch Big Lebowski about a couple times a year and today was my summer[…]

Well, no dice on that “finding a cool group of women, like the Sex and the City[…]

So I ain't never watched too much Sex in the City until I got Netflix and I […]

Damn, where is everybody? It's a friday night and this place is a graveyard! I […]

Dang, Chris emailed me about this new kind of rum he found today and I went and[…]

Remember that famous artist from the 80s, "Nagel"? He did all kinds […]

//-a-r-e-a-s-o-n-a-b-l-e-m-a-n-w-r-o-t-e-<br /><br /><i>Man I[…]

So there is this app I got on my phone, and it is basically all-day […]

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center[…]

<br />Alright like so today wasn't gonna be too great of shakes, it was […]

Okay so uh Lyle was pretty in his grips the other day, but he had a neat idea […]

Dude just came in here all needin' me to do up some computer help, particularly[…]

There is I guess an apricot tree or something and its branches sort of stick […]

Dang but they shoehorned this new Martha Stewart-type Italian place into the […]

Alright so the deal with first rain is that I like to bundle all up in this […]

Man I was down at Lucky Go getting the wrong printer cable for Molly and when I[…]

So like Ray was all mincin' around dandy on the white carpet in his living room[…]

Dang it man but Ray just has so much faith in McDonald's it is ridiculous. […]

Alright so I wasn't really going for this but I was walking along the bay piers[…]

Man it is a childish thing but when you go to wear the pants with the stripe […]

Man it ain't like me to dogg up and call the human police on a falterin' human […]

Holy hell and high water does every person in the community come around with […]

<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:[…]

Alright so like it is a thing now—but no one has even said a word—about what is[…]

I was so hoi polloi at the restaurant, I hell of plebe'd it up in that place. […]

Man so like at six in the morning I jumped up with a start cause I heard the […]

Man at the regular people electronics super-place this kid was totally pushing […]

Man it was hard at the place today we did this Kraftwerk Thänksgiving with the […]

So lately Molly said my Galaxie is hella bad on the emissions front (way more […]

Alright so Cornelius and Téodor and Lyle got back from this hype tri-dude […]

Man it is a tough one when you are hungry for nachos and your lady is asleep […]

Man it is liquid in the pen, we already got 'zine no. 2 in the works, me and […]

Oh dogg it is meat on the bone, I am excited to release my new zine I been […]

Oh dang I didn't do this blog in mainly forever. Crazy how a dude can get up to[…]

Dang so last time I was all on about havin' possibly S.O.-S.A.D. and that I […]

Dang so I been real blue of late. I can't figure out what it is since my […]

Man dang it is a real regular situation in my life where I will strongly want a[…]

Man I did the smart thing I straight up asked Molly what she would want for […]

Uh huh so it seems a thing, based on my research, is that younger ladies are […]

I am gonna update you on some more shows that I have not been watching this […]

I know this ranks me in the bottom 1/3 of all conversational males but I ain't […]

Man they hock you up for a couple hundo a year and I got to think they ain't […]

Well if you want any kind of account the basic fact is that we are hanging […]

Jesus man it does not need to be such a big deal if a regular man goes to the […]

Some dude with just these nasty-ass dreadlocks came by and asked if we had any […]

Dang so I got on down to Nicaragua and had me some nasty old asado steak and […]

Dang so I been real interested in takin' just a me trip lately, down on south […]

Dang so on Friday night at Ray's we got pretty crapped up on the stuff and […]

Dang so I finally had to return that weird hundred dollar knife because I was […]

Dang so maybe if you don't know this or you do there is this fancy cooking […]

Dang man Chris was like "no sorry no more money for poems the deal fell […]

Man so like I had this pretty rough day, this guy at OfficePerfect thought I […]

Dang I was down at Hidden Hills Trading Post today looking for a propane […]

Chris said he got some real strong interest in my June poems so he upped the […]

Chris did pay me the five smackeroos for my May poems so here is my first June […]

Just a real quick update today from the pile of poems I got sitting on my […]

Chris said he would pay me five dollars a month to publish 1k words of the […]

Oh hee man but dang Téodor got this vaporizer and I tell you man it is like […]

Dog so mainly I had a pretty bad weekend, it was a big thing going on at Ray's […]

So Molly got this spare TiVo box from Tina since Tina had upgraded her box to […]

I mean it's crazy but why is it that sometimes when you go to the mall you see […]

What the fuck is that all about

Dang I guess I should have figured on getting emails from folks who know that […]

Damn it I spent entirely the whole weekend on vigil at Gramma K's. I know we […]

So as most of you will maybe know if you are reading this, I lived in Gramma K'[…]

Molly was real nice to me the other day and got me the Muffuletta sandwich from[…]

Man uh so I guess it ain't no secret that I like to read on the pot ever since […]

Dang so like I was completely walking along, and all of a sudden this guy […]

Man so usually I just keep all my food out in the little cube fridge in the […]

Dang it took me nearly forever to finish my taxes this year. I feel like kind […]

It is insane, what they do is have a hot sizzling grill at your table and you […]

Dang I got to calm down. Molly had kind of a scratchy throat and so I said I […]

I been going on a lot of walks since I took in at Ray's place. I guess it is […]

Sorry I been so long away. It was kind of a month, you know. I guess the long […]

I think all I've eaten lately is cheez doodles. My keyboard keys are kind of […]

It is small times around here since Molly left. Extremely quiet. This morning I[…]

Well I guess the last time I wrote in here Molly and me were still lookin' for […]

So we have gone looking at a couple rentals lately, not telling Gramma K about […]

Molly did not like the idea of moving into Ray's pool house. She thinks it's […]

I like that old phrase. Anyhow, I was looking around in the newspaper and […]

So Chris gave us the whole last week off and I didn't have to stress about […]

Man it is almost impossible to diagnose your own medical problems on the […]

Alright well I guess I forgot that Molly is trying to lose a few pounds (she […]

I got this idea into my head around lunchtime that tonight I am going to make a[…]

Me and the boys go on down to Jack in the Box once a week to have Dudes' Lunch[…]

Man I found an IKEA catalog by Molly's side of the bed. This is in addition to […]

So my uncle and aunt George and Nina Kostantinos renewed their wedding vows way[…]

Alright I had a pretty bad panic attack on Tuesday so it's definitely not the […]

Damn I did not expect to feel this way but maybe it is getting to that Point. I[…]

Dang tonight Molly cooked me up a steak and a baked potato with red wine, and […]

So Pat's doctor rang me up. It turns out Pat brought his laptop to leg rehab […]

Dang Ray just had me over to make a papier mâché Phil Collins head. I don't […]

Dang I just cooked up the tastiest huevos rancheros dinner for us. I got some […]

Man I was outside watering the new jasmine shrubs and my shorts stone fell down[…]

Things were kind of tense between Molly and me yesterday because she was mad at[…]

Molly and I were arguing about how much water to put into brown rice today and […]

Man I was at the post office this afternoon because I had to mail some rebates […]

Molly knows that I really like to cook some ribs and so she got me this […]

Tonight at farmer's market there was this new rotisserie chicken place and I […]

Lyle is kind of busy lately but he had time to give me a haircut today around […]

So this morning Molly woke me up with a really tasty cup of coffee and right […]

As if I wasn't having a bad enough week, now Gramma K has given more of her […]

DAMMIT it costs sixty five bucks to have the blades on the reel mower […]

I was out in the back yard clippin' my fingernails and I had just got this one […]

So last night I had kind of an anxiety attack and left the house, don't really […]

If you are sitting next to someone, you can look at their head and realize that[…]

Back to School was on so we just watched that and had some Wow chips. I had […]

I got the gemelli with bolognese sauce and Molly got the raviolis with pesto. I[…]

So yesterday I got kind of deep into Molly's new machine just tricking it out […]

So pretty late tonight I was down at The Foo Lounge, this place down along […]

Man I was kicking it on the curb just now putting out a butt after lunch and in[…]

So this place ain't like a "sports bar" with pennants and big screen […]

The local dudes who run the 7-11 always wore turbans until 9/11 and since then […]

hello world

He's been going to cider and fry bars after work lately, and it's becoming a […]

Yes, you read that right. I'm not surprised you've never heard of Sensibilly. […]

As you know, one of Cornelius's many embarrassing "jobs" is […]

Well, you're probably wondering what happened to <span style="font-[…]

I had started to think it would never happen! <span style="font-weight[…]

Soytopia: A Sociopolitical and Ecological Clarity Bar! (I'm thinking of keeping[…]

You thought I was full of it, didn't you? Well, once again, you've managed to […]

We have a new pub—which, by the way, is short for "public house"—in […]

That piece of shit! That lousy BITCH! That CUNT!<br /><br />I'll […]

I do not live on a busy street, so usually I am able to back my car out without[…]

I'm not going to get into why I stopped shopping at Trader Joe's, but I will […]

I can't turn my head without seeing some headline about the high price of gas […]

I could not see more red than I am seeing right now. <br /><br />&[…]

Those of you not familiar with the FalconLore™ RPGs and Character Developer […]

I'll make no secret of it: I do not return shopping carts to the cart-yard when[…]

Before I get to the fun stuff, I will just conclude the CheatLoaf saga by […]

With a cooler full of freshly-unmolded CheatLoaf and a straining backpack laden[…]

Don't know who Dr. Mohid Prasham is? Then you're an idiot. He's the genius […]

For the last several weeks, if not months, I have had nothing but trouble […]

You can say whatever you want about Hallowe'en, but I'm all for it. It's one of[…]

As you know, I have been having a pretty horrible time trying to shop at Trader[…]

Do you ever have problems using computer software? Not me. I find that at this […]

I have been getting back into swing dancing, a little faster than the doctors […]

Well, if you've been reading my blog then you know I have had no end of trouble[…]

The damned fool took his own life with a disposable safety scalpel when the […]

Last I wrote I had chosen Siccio as my personal defense attorney, and the case […]

That J. Preston Norwood character turned out to be a hack ambulance chaser who […]

Jesus, Onstad is such an ass. Now it turns out he's NOT paying anyone for their[…]

Oh boy, am I seeing red today. You're about to find out why.<br /><br[…]

<span style="font-weight: bold;">Alley of Sickening Riches</[…]

Yeah, I said it, and I meant it. This is the tip of the iceberg, Onstad, you […]

Alright, Onstad, you <span style="font-style: italic;">[…]

Apparently Chris Onstad has been paying everyone but me to write poetry lately[…]

It's because I like to help businesses. I'm not joking, though you may think I […]

I think the MAIN problem in our town right now is the garbagemen. That's right[…]

Not far from my house is a small industrial park, and in it resides a discount […]

Earlier this month I was attacked but now I am better. I will not go into the […]

I was having the avocado salad at the outside tables at Greg's Uptown Diner […]

Have you noticed this? In our area, radio stations have been playing what they […]

I have been having more problems with my acid reflux condition since last I […]

I am no supporter of chain-style dinner restaurants, but Arthur was famished […]

Or any store, for that matter. You have <em>no right</em> to […]

Boy do these clowns need to work on their act. I was in the kitchen taking my […]

1. Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a […]

Not only are women stupid, but they are crass. I'm sure you have noticed the […]

Okay, this is my final warning to ALL of you: <em>do NOT e-mail me to […]

I've about had it. You know what I'm talking about. Unicorns, specialty erotica[…]

I don't know if you know this, but "Olestra" is the fat-free oil that[…]

We need to draft some new city ordinances around here. Some fool next door […]

I have two ways of proving this[…]

How dare you e-mail me and ask when I'm going to update my blog! I'll update my[…]

I, for one, am GLAD the United States "Dream Team" is faltering in […]

It so arose that I needed to mail a package via Registered Mail today ([…]

Well, I'm back from physical therapy, but I'm in a wheelchair for the time […]

It has been over a week since the attacks, and on Friday I finally felt capable[…]

First of all, since my attack, I have been having trouble focusing my left eye[…]

So, if you read my blog yesterday, you will know that today I planned on […]

I probably shouldn't be sharing this with everybody on Sam's green earth, but I[…]

I pick up a lot of macrobiotic nutrients at Trader Joe's, a chain of socially-[…]

So I went online earlier in the week and got an excellent new pair of <a […]

I am absolutely serious. Celery is sold in naturally-occurring bundles of […]

I got MP3s on my computer just like anybody else, don't get me wrong. Unlike […]

They are a form of physical violence just like any other, and YES I do intend […]

My nasal passages tend to clog easily, so I rely on tissues several times […]

Sometimes it's some little old lady who leaves you alone as you walk by, but […]

I don't know how this happened but my Driver's License expired. I was expecting[…]

For a long time the house next to ours was rented to what I will kindly […]

So I went on up over to the coast this weekend and hiked some pretty decent […]

And next week's not looking much better. I'm gonna head out of town for the […]

Alright, this is ridiculous. These days Spam email has to be so convoluted to […]

Well, I should have known better. Ray was stinking drunk last night and made […]

I guess this year was a big bunch of something for me, since it took so long, […]

This is a list of things I just realized, tonight, that I hadn't experienced […]

<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i&[…]

I was standing there at Bill and Shelley’s Christmas party (our new neighbors […]

Well, Santa Cruz definitely wasn't the kick-start my brain needed. In fact, I […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

Man, there's nothing in the fridge but eggs, tortillas, and some month-old […]

It turns out that checking my email and playing the guitar on the edge of my […]

Ray's got me on appetizer duty for Thanksgiving at his place, which isn't […]

I was having a hard time coming up with a cohesive menu for Beef and Molly's […]

Ray came by tonight and asked me a favor that turned out to be a favor for me. […]

I guess I hadn't read much about the French Laundry before. I mean, everyone […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

I guess it was just a matter of time. Ever since Beef paired off with Molly […]

So Chris is a bigshot now, with his subscription to the "Bacon of the […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

I had to get some fresh dill, which is actually pretty hard to find around here[…]

So a couple weeks ago Todd died. He had forgotten to bulk up for winter […]

I gave up on trying to learn how to use all that professional recording […]

<p class="MsoNormal">THE USER INTERFACES ON MUSICAL RECORDING […]

Wow. I was in Ray's garage looking for a soccer ball, when what should I find […]

Man, I've never seen so much online discussion about the GOF. I guess I've […]

I've been commiserating with Cornelius, of all people, about bad wine […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

I had a pretty rotten afternoon. I walked down to Starbucks to get my usual […]

I swear, if I'm woken up by one more baby bird almost-catastrophe (Philippe), […]

First off, there have been no more recurrences of the dream where I choose to […]

I was at the desk, and the desktop still had the name "Adrian Rodeo" […]

I had that "Dorian Dareo, CEO" dream again. As usual, I was alone in […]

I'm my age, but I'm sitting at an old elementary school flip-lidded wooden desk[…]

I was roasting some beef bones for stock this afternoon when Ray called me up […]

So he came over for lunch today, Friday, because he wanted to "shoot the […]

Trader Joe's sells ready-made pizza dough that's really top-shelf and easy to […]

The weirdest thing just happened to me. I had walked down to Hidden Hills to […]

I was feeling morose on a lonesome walk down along the creek when Famous Blue […]

Man, I should have seen that coming a mile away. That blank stare, the fact […]

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;&[…]

Work on the cooking show has kind of slowed lately since I fell in with this […]

I'll say it, Cornelius has picked up a trick or two in his years, one of which […]

So I've been taping at Ray's, and Cornelius has been scarce lately. I think […]

I think I can outlast Cornelius in terms of our clashing visions of what my […]

Cornelius got me all riled up the other morning about starting my own cooking […]

I wrapped up Beer Class last weekend and bottled all my ale. It took a while, […]

I had beer class at 10am on Saturday morning so Friday night I took it kind of […]

I saw in the Underground community news bulletin thing that some local brewery […]

So Chris and Liz finally had their baby girl, and it's been pretty topsy-turvy […]

I saw Pat on the sidewalk this morning and he asked me if I would like to go to[…]

Well, I was pretty jilted after we watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless […]

We got Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind from Netflix and I have to admit I[…]

Just like that, they were gone. Roar, Self Made, the chubbies...not a trace. I […]

You know, those little blender-stick things that you stick into a cup of milk […]

There's been a really bad cold snap around here lately, so Roar took his crew […]

Pat got me this gift certificate to an obscure used book/record shop up in San […]

Alright, I didn't actually name it something corny like that, but I did start […]

Last week a little porn company moved in next door. They also rented out an […]

<p>I was lying in bed on the "cusp" of sleep at around 2am when[…]

I went down to the Corner-Sav to get some Corn Nuts and an egg sandwich and […]

He's the guy from Radiohead. I read a big interview with him today and he […]

Chris didn't move to Spain, as threatened, but he has been considering taking a[…]

It's pretty tense around here. It looks like Kerry's leading by a marginal […]

I spent about fifty hours pro bono making beer labels for Ray to look at. I […]

Just got back from Ray's. He's really got something on his hands with these […]

Philippe managed to brush his teeth with someone's tube of K+Y jelly and needed[…]

Last night Chris was making a homemade pizza with chopped clams and tons of […]

It was maybe five AM last Friday and I saw Chris madly packing his bags. "[…]

I finally lured Ray away from his new brewery obsession for a couple hours, on […]

We had these frozen Trader Joe's potstickers in the fridge, so I got those […]

So my dad popped into the picture again, this time sending me a plastic beer-[…]

Last time I blogged I bragged about how stoned I was and how much I enjoyed […]

Alright I take back everything I ever said about Chris being a mild- to bad […]

You ever have one of those mornings where you wake up, find twenty emails in […]

Things are kind of quiet during the Olympics. Everybody just holes up at Ray's […]

Ray isn't playing any golf while the Olympics are on, so I've been hitting the […]

How do I not see these things[…]

The call went well. Huge relief. I called around 8:13, and she picked up after […]

Went for too long of a run this morning and I think I hurt my knee, but not bad[…]

Agh, I forgot about this "waiting" part, where you don't call for a […]

I don't know that tonight could have gone any better. I showed up at nine, an […]

Alright, I have no idea if Shannon's going to be there tonight. I hope so, […]

<p>Ray called me up around noon and said we had a tee time in an hour, […]

Waterbury called me today to see if I'd like to play with Ray in a twosome at […]

Ah piss it, Shannon didn't even show. I tried to say hi to some of her dumpy […]

Maybe typing it all out will help me decide...I want to wear something that's […]

Last week I said something about there being a new and unusual girl at Ray's […]

When I was shopping with Aunt Brezna I got all these "new fashion" […]

Ray busted Lyle for cutting my hair at his new taco stand yesterday, but he did[…]

I forgot I had planned this trip since I was so caught up in that risotto thing[…]

So Chris got up and left the house before I could even turn on the stove today[…]

I don't have too much going on tomorrow so I'm going to put Chris on a Total […]

There's this new cover of Tears For Fears' old song "Mad World" going[…]

So Chris went to this Jamie Oliver book signing at Williams-Sonoma a few months[…]

I wonder what INXS are up to these days. The main guy Michael Hutchence choked […]

Should be interesting. We have a bunch of fresh fava beans from the farmer's […]

Alright, so I didn't go to bed when I said I would and I doubt I'm going to be […]

Wow, the first thing I think I'm going to do when I have some time is make a […]

Hello! How are you! Did you know that I love you? I'm not afraid to say it!<[…]

"What-in-the-doopty!"<br /><div><br /></div>&[…]

Well, no one could be more excited than me about Halloween, and that is a fact[…]

Hi everybody! It's Christmas! I already made out my Santa list, and I hope you […]

Oh, boy! Téodor made the best Thanksgiving dinner! He let me make all of the […]

I just had a pretty weird talk with Lie Bot! I hadn't seen him in a while, but […]

I figured something out! The best guys in the world, like the pioneers and […]

I found a web site about hobos! These are little old guys with too long of old […]

(That is kind of a quote from a song that Ray plays in his car when he drives […]

Chris's dog got an operation! She was peeing when she <span style="font[…]

Today I saw a really important old politics speech on TV! It was by John F. […]

Ray came by today! Usually it is pretty great to see him, because he always has[…]

Oh my gosh I got in so much trouble! I didn't know it was a cuss, I swear! I […]

I got the best Christmas presents! Oh my gosh everybody knew exactly what I […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

Ray made Téodor look at a real naked lady all week long and now Téodor is crazy[…]

Mr. Bear made dinner and it was pretty crummy! He cooked Pants a Nella, and it […]

There was a show on TV about how to make Jelly Belly jelly beans! I think I can[…]

It was my birthday! I got lots of nice presents. Téodor gave me a big map of a […]

Things are great! The rich guy with the butt went away (the guy from next door[…]

It is nasty! The human man who is in his back yard next door is kinda plump, […]

Boy howdy! Last time I did a blog I said all kinds of stuff about how […]

A pretzel guy came to the door! He was so nice. He was from Germany, but he […]

Who would ever guess that I would find so much beef jerky in a drawer! Not me, […]

I saw a corgey dog! I'm not sure if that's how you spell it. He was little and […]

<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dat's right! I got da new &[…]

Chris's baby girl (well she is twenty months now) made me go to sleep! It was […]

There was a buck sitting by the door today! The front door, by the driveway. […]

Lyle and Mr. Bear and Téodor were happy tonight and they bought Chinese food […]

Today I was looking out the front window at the cars driving by, and I guess I […]

I just saw the greatest movie! If you don't know, it's called THE INCREDIBLES. […]

Boy, that was weird! Did you ever have an experience where you ate something, […]

Boy, I guess people were ready for some summer fun! There were so many guests […]

Who wants to come to my FUN PARTY!<br /><br />Who wants to be at my[…]

Téodor took down his communism poster and put up a big sad poster about a […]

I tried to be a good communist <span style="font-style: italic;"&[…]

I did pretty good with communism today! I cleaned the kitchen again, and I even[…]

Téodor got this really cool Russia poster! It is from history. It is from "[…]

Franky stayed up in his nest on the telephone pole all day on Christmas Eve. He[…]

Franky moved full-time into a nest he made on the telephone pole that is above […]

Sigh...Cranky Franky went from being grouchy to just plain mean. In the last […]

Franky is getting testy, and grumpy. On Monday he was just plain crabby. I don'[…]

We've had a fun couple of weeks together! Franky learned how to grow feathers, […]

Like I said last time, I sprayed a bunch of Philippe water onto some almonds […]

You know how Franky's mom had been figuring out my smell, to make sure she […]

Franky's mom is causing trouble around the house. I know that she is his mom, […]

I got Franky a little toy fire engine! There was a toy fire engine on the […]

Franky is doing good this week. His mom feeds him little up-chucks [no other […]

A baby bird! Hooray!<br /><br />Oh, I guess I should explain. There[…]

Téodor said that Pat had a really fancy aquarium with all kinds of rare fish in[…]

I got up this morning to play Bobsled Practice in the big plaster shoe but […]

My mom sent me new shoes last week! They are so nice! They are pure white with […]

It is so weird! A couple of days ago Chris said that he could not pay me to […]

I have been trying not to write things down lately, because I am afraid they […]

Boy, you'd think I wouldn't write any more haiku since I am tired of them, but […]

Boy, every time I sit down at the computer anymore I think I have to write a […]

Trees can't go dancing<br />So do them a big favor<br />Pretend […]

Oops! I guess I didn't write a haiku poem last time! Sorry everybody. Chris […]

Hooray! Chris said I wrote an important kind of poem called a Haiku! A Haiku is[…]

Hooray! Chris said that he would give me fifty cents and a grape if I would […]

Chris said it was Bath Day today! First they put the baby into the sink in her […]

Phew! I told Téodor how I had <em>read in the newspaper</em>that a […]

I am not usually supposed to leave the house, but today it was pretty muggy and[…]

I guess last time I wrote I said that Téodor was mad at me because I […]

Mr. Bear made a home-made version of Hosey the Flow Cow! It doesn't look nice […]

There is a new baby at our house! It is Chris and Liz's baby! It is so exciting[…]

Téodor let me borrow a good new CD that he likes and it is a lot of fun! It is […]

Today after Gomer Pyle Mr. Bear walked into the living room and I asked him if […]

I don't know how come I am always in Trouble! Mr. Bear has caught me twice and […]

That much is for sure. After he ate my Number 8 Dale Jr. Chevy Matchbox and […]

Chris was putting all the stuff from the dishwasher away, so I went in to help […]

That's what Téodor said when he saw how I behaved after I got to eat my first […]

Téodor says that since it is a new year and I am a little older, he thinks I […]

There are some pretty weird people next door! I saw that one of the ladies had […]

Last night the new neighbors had a big party and all kinds of people came and […]

We had lots of new people move in next door today, about maybe six total. I […]

<p>1. A parachute man! One of those little men who has a cello fane […]

I'm sorry! I have been so busy, plus I forgot my password (otterbUtter) so I […]

Oh boy! It is time to make my Christmas list again! I am always so excited […]

For lunch today I asked Téodor to make me Taquitos, which are a crispy little […]

Téodor told me the truth about what happened when everybody voted. I am not sad[…]

Hooray! I missed the rain. It smells so good after it rains, and there are lots[…]

I saw a cockroach run under the kitchen cabinet! It was so horrible! Lyle told […]

Oh boy! Chris said that since I was so sad and mad about not getting to be in […]

I saw on TV today that the Democrats and the Republicans got a show where they […]

Chris came home from the costume shop and he got me a package of Magic Rocks! […]

I just saw the inside of an elephant's mouth on TV! It was super-gross! I don't[…]

Lyle is so mean! One of his old movie-making friends who he hates now was […]

Don't tell! I snuck into the bathroom to brush my teeth with the neat clear […]

I got to have a week off from doing stuff for Chris! He and Liz took a vacation[…]

Chris's Italian friend Tony came over to help him do some stuff, and they […]

Téodor got a beer making set from his dad! It was so fun. The first couple days[…]

Oh, I almost forgot to say this to you yesterday! Ray came over to do more frog[…]

Téodor left the sprinklers on too long last night so today there were some […]

I thought I had gotten rid of all the Judas Priest CDs, but then Todd found […]

Today Liz yelled at Chris for liking Judas Priest! They had a private talk and […]

Chris played me some Judas Priest songs and they are really not anything like […]

It's Sunday! On Sunday I like to wake up a little bit early and pray and do […]

We don't have any gymnastics stuff or running hurdles around the house so I […]

Téodor and me did some President stuff today. We thought of a new slogan! He […]

Chris came back from the store today and he got me a new trash can! He took it […]

Guns are a pretty bad problem in the USA. They are usually pretty small and can[…]

Last week I found some cut in half pipes and made a mini waterslide park around[…]

Chris was watching TV in the living room, so I sat by him! Usually he is not in[…]

He is such a good cook! He went grocery shopping at the fancy butcher shop and […]

Ray just got a new butler named Mr. Waterbury! I know this because he (Mr. […]

I do not remember if I told you this but yesterday Chris got me a JAYMAR piano[…]

Oh BOY! Chris got me a piano today! It is JAYMAR brand and it sounds just like […]

Usually I ask someone to help me open the big soda bottles, but today Lyle said[…]

I'm so glad Téodor is back! Today he took our Tupperware home popsicle set and […]

Hello, Téodor! Welcome back! I know I just saw you in the hallway but I want to[…]

Chris put a painting of me on eBay, and he said that people are very happy […]

Wow, already 3 o'clock! I guess I am getting kind of lazy in my old age! LOL[…]

Oh, brother! Last night I had the most horrible time, because of what I guess […]

Hello! A couple of days ago Lyle was telling everyone how much food his new […]

I have not done a good job of focusing on this lately. Roast Beef told me […]

And when I got up just now Lyle was awake and he cooked me some tortillas with […]

It was pretty dark last night, and I got lost on the way to find Todd! I […]

Wow, I woke up at 11:20PM this morning/tonight! I woke up <i>yesterday!&[…]

I got up really early yesterday and set out nice breakfast supplies for […]

Wow, I really woke up early today! It's 2 a.m.! I went to bed at seven because […]

It is super windy right now! The back door is open so the wind is going all […]

So Chris decided not to get a new Ink Jet printer, because he cleaned the one […]

I heard Chris saying that their Ink Jet printer is dying and that they are […]

Chris came home from the store with A & W Cream Soda today! He said he got […]

I am so happy! T&#233;odor went down to the Underground to get some guitar […]

It is such a nice morning already! All of the garbageman stuff is out in the […]

Tonight I thought of an idea! I put two socks on my arms and pulled them all […]

I went out in my rollerskates in the back yard today and practiced racing […]

I'm sorry everyone. I made a horrible mess in the bed because I got sick from […]

When I stayed up late watching Flashdance! I was eating a lot of leftover ribs-[…]

It's the part where the main lady is doing all of her great new dancing in […]

March was a deuce of a stretch, given the passing of Polly's mother and the […]

The rainclouds having retreated, it was once again time to busy my fingers in […]

As I described previously, some of the boys discovered an old bottle of Sodium […]

It's been going well at the Dude and Catastrophe lately. Last night the boys […]

The métier of my advanced years, that is. I enjoy nothing more than pulling […]

Eight o'clock in the morning, January 1st, 2007, saw the doors of the Dude and […]

Ray called today. As usual, all previous arrangements stood up, did a curious […]

When last I wrote, Ray seemed to have wholeheartedly endorsed my suggested name[…]

As it turns out, the technicalities of re-opening the rechristened pub nipped […]

As of the first of the coming month, the keys to the Crab & Pickle will be […]

It is an interesting social phenomenon that upon announcing one's intention of […]

The most delightful opportunity has arisen. While lamenting the day's angling […]

Our friend Roast Beef and a few of his cronies have long been involved with […]

The old man came through town this evening, and I had managed a subterranean […]

Breakfast had been a puddle of prunes and soaked oats, and lunch an apple, […]

The finger did shiver a bit, longing for the warmth of the hand-rolled, and the[…]

Health insurance, that fair-weather friend of the aging, had me down at the […]

Word around the Crab and Pickle last night was that the bluegill were jumping, […]

Someone has left a cornichon in the toilet, an act I find as immature as it is […]

From time to time I, as a fellow with a bit of a sporting bent, am careful to […]

Shortly after today's cherished morning ritual I was presented with a crude […]

There is no more succinct way to put it: I am absolutely sick to death of […]

Au revoir to the spring lamb, to the fresh peas and wild salmon, to the lovely […]

Téodor and I buried the hatchet this weekend and I must say our once-dire […]

When last I wrote we were off to the races with Téodor's cooking show, and […]

During the cherished morning ritual I found myself clacking a soft and aged […]

Oh how I do enjoy that Téodor. We clashed over stovetop real estate this […]

The cable television contract at our house was recently upgraded to include a […]

Who would have thought that in my advanced years I would rediscover a childhood[…]

A few weeks back Téodor introduced me to the <strong>eBay</strong> […]

Lately dear little Philippe has begun to display the untoward behaviors of […]

Lyle breezed into the house this afternoon, if anything about that man can be […]

It was shaping up to be a calm sort of night, a spot of white tea and the odd […]

Long past are the days when I have wanted anything for Christmas. The good […]

It's no secret around the back fence that Patrick is something of a loose […]

It's been a long trip back, and a largely uneventful one. I chartered a flight […]

The hour of morning was perhaps nine, and I sat at the counter of the Troekurov[…]

Greetings from (Y)Ekaterinburg! I believe I have found the most delightful city[…]

The cargo truck out of Kazan, in which I had stowed away, went off a steep […]

By hook, crook and passing truck I've made my way fairly commodiously to Kazan[…]

Todd's plane was brought down in an ice storm just outside of Belgorod, a city […]

Tootle-ta, everyone! Tonight I board for Moscow, to slowly make my way to […]

With each passing day, I feel like Ekaterina is a photograph fading in the sun[…]

Try as I might, I could not catch a glimpse of Ekaterina at the closing […]

<center><br /><a href="https://images.google.com/images?q=[…]

Oh my heavens. I awoke this morning to find that, after a long night of […]

Good heaven on earth, I have been struck by the ultimate incarnation of […]

Ah, now that's more like it. My original plan to study up on the Olympic […]

What with my dire outlook lately, I had neglected to note that the Olympics are[…]

I am absolutely dashed if I can devise a new scheme for engaging Ray in betting[…]

Never in my life have I heard anyone, particularly a purported gourmand such as[…]

I've just returned from a lovely sun-dappled day on the banks of the creek. On […]

I happened to cross paths with Ray this evening, and he declined an offer to […]

Ray agreed to give Waterbury leisure for a few hours this afternoon, and he […]

I was quite delighted this evening to make the acquaintance of a Mr. Waterbury[…]

Lord bless the saline miracles of Visine. For the past eighteen hours I was […]

My decision to throw a game was a mixed success, and I shall run down the […]

Wednesday and Thursday proved a bit of a grind, with Ray rather down at the […]

I suppose some wags will say that I ought not fleece Ray for every penny he […]

I have socked away my customary percentage into savings, and as is my wont I […]

It is to my rather great regret that I did not see this coming. Ray, addictive […]

I had originally planned to not attend Ray's weekly festivities this evening, […]

As I sat and accounted for my winnings against the good Mr. Smuckles this […]

As I had predicted, Ray would not go another day without a rematch on the felt[…]

Dear Ray took me at less of my word than I had imagined possible, and I did […]

It is not my habit to attend the festivities which Ray puts on every weekend. I[…]

I rose from my writing table rather late this evening and found that the rest […]

I have thrilling news! For those of you who follow <i>Le Danse Macabre<[…]

I must admit to a bit of a chink in the old Bear armor: I am positively dreamy […]

Good heavens, I made the daft judgment error of picking up Bryson's <i>A […]

...and it's got me feeling more down at the existential heel than ever. I've […]

Good evening, dear friend. I should like to take this opportunity to forewarn […]

wanted to do this one up irhgt, fo rtht eMAN , bwent into this newgig a t […]

man i wasn't at athah place two shifts and the fuckknen pastry chkef calls me […]

.,holy fuzz button (clit-) got sasclked from Joesephine's after like eight […]

fucking vietname place gig was goni well smoked with the dudes out abakc durn […]

fn owner ofvewr a t Olivios gavce mne my walkiong papers last nighut since he […]

fn manager at Corleone's gave me the saklc tonight cause I was eatin stuff off […]

nw glasses acdtauly fuck n alritht gotaskeds a qusation by soem chick toadya<[…]

Man so fn in time for this fn wedding of beefs ai i hadda go and get some […]

nobodyas' jammin me on the shototin thing or whaever, no buggin so i'm outta […]

man fuckin a what they'er sayin' i shot the fucker i dn't just hit thim fuck i […]

don't know if i hit a guy or if i didn't hit em think i hit ijm works a d […]

dudes said i ws asleep for a fkn week. the rfuck/@! no shitto i was out fn […]

watsa fuck sa guy like me doin with an ipod but shit man i bought one<br /&[…]

damn f'n todd got low got junkie julia down at our palce hadda get er out inna […]

stood iinna night at Mulligans SPoorts pub up in rwc jus tline cook etc friend […]

viet cong fn mined the Hhhills drivin rang e Todsd outta coupla tires we aint' […]

fuk so fukc we had a couple ogood woeek s gettin golf balsl<br /><br[…]

todd's van can fit 20 golf balsl in the back so we spent the nihgt with a […]

played TURBO LOVEr abotu 100-200x and fn went out for batteries six tiemes pls […]

todd bisds ajck n cokes plus buincha d=cells for radio gonn play TURBO LOVER […]

yeah it was th hjellies makin my pis thi ck<br /><br />stopped […]

piss was thick nto to do with water or whaterver drink n but w/ this fanc y […]

turns out i can take a day or 2 off from real regular on the wter still get […]

good stuff ben real clear and comin out real expected lik3e. blends inna water […]

sogotta lotta talent this one and gotta aname STOLEN ASS<br /><br />[…]

smy fuckn piss got better, tooka lotta water in anit dissolved this hard piss i[…]

manan i ogtta drink more water or somethign<br />took a piss this moring […]

pissface fn CX said i gotta dump out one more poem make my units so here ya go […]

alright i got an idea for another poem lately today when I was goin around &[…]

aright mfonx heress nther poem 4ufux<br /><br />ENGLISH PEOPLE ARE […]

Here's another poem kinda like a fifties thing bt also thinkof it as set to […]

wsf chris saide'd gimme five bucks a month for some poems a ll just writen on […]

had this guy al goes by ala now, irish dude pretty rogh from workin long years[…]

had first tranny fux w/bill this guy. didn't read the brochure but I guess they[…]

this gonna be a nice one<br /><br />gotta gig go down and go in […]

so naturally you go into busines with aguy you expecthe's gonna flake out […]

ray gotta machine we gonna cock it up to roll joints, should coin us up in real[…]

so a whilenow I been busin at The Old Gate this jerked up white linne joint […]

so all the porn biz jizz moved otuta town or died while i was away an fuck 'em […]

f'in todd the cock boosted my smoeks an I gotta run to the corner f I was gonna[…]

It has been a month precisely since my last update here. Slow was my progress […]

In the last update I mentioned the details of how I had vibrantly flavored the […]

The girls were receptive to the new seasonings I put in the egg salad […]

Through steady conversation and good behavior I have secured a position as a […]

As I mentioned in my last entry I had acquired some tools. They were to be […]

During this afternoon's tea the nurse dozed off and while the girls were chit-[…]

At tea in the common room we normally share sandwiches and hot Twinings. Today […]

I am locked in a girl's school outside of Edinburgh. I was found unconscious in[…]

barly, water[…]

or whatever they call it, bleh[…]

ray gotta big imported copper still + supplies and some books on makin whisky[…]

wft dammit I shoulda kept closer books on the loot, here I was all this time […]

steada' the usual pump and grind I shooed the crew away for the weekend, figure[…]

man fuckin police tried to bust my set pretendin they got a call about a kid […]

sonofa bitch, took a shot at him + chased him for a few but he was methed and […]

C gave us alla week off but the thing with a gonzo crew, is that if you […]

fuckin jimmy came around the set today lookin for work, meth'd outta his gourd […]

F.F. Boy showed up with a spiderbite on his dick and the whole fuckin set shut […]

got 258 new titles in distro this week. Salsa Sluts Meet The T.A.C.O. has me […]

lifted a bunch of food outta the fridge tonite since ain't got the dos pochegos[…]

thanks for the invite but screw those dupes i got tape to shoot. i ain't gonna […]

good shoot today + I seem to be a natural at this stuff. Tim + Jon pumped some […]

ain't too hard pullin' shifts at dos pochegos + the gonzo it turns out. I'm […]

dos pochegos openin' up again tomorrow so I'm gonna be beat workin' the two […]

man we're already up to ss8 + I'm bankin' good loot. got a leather robe I wear […]

so took the cart over to eastside last night for that gonzo shoot + this didn't[…]

awesome kitchen fire at dos pochegos, guess the renovation contractors didn't […]

found todd passed out under a box in the kitchen wtf. said he didn't know how […]

man this website just published my last post like fifty times + I hadda delete […]

nailed down at sports again w todd but upstairs to damians no one around + […]

christ I was halfway through a shift at dos pochegos just same old salmon then […]

ha ha so ray gave up on his sanitaco cart + took off so I took some bucks off […]

had mario one of the preps come out with me + todd tonight and he w't up to it[…]

so ray steps in and thinks he's gonna play the food service game for a while […]

damn I got the jetsam cmin outta my ears now with this pitcher gig! I got 24 […]

damn, brought three tupperware pitchers today + hid them in the potted flower […]

Just needed some wipin' off, carbon, runnin fine again. whoever installed that […]

today thinkin ahead I brought some ziploc bags for the beans + rice etc but […]

what I like about workin a mexican joint is all the free vittles they dump on […]

i hadda go by the thrift depot fora white collared shirt + got a not too bad […]

stan's got a good way with the skirts, he had one under each arm at sports […]

hah i forgot how stan can really push it in, we did the blood right with […]

crap did I really bang it up last night after julio fired me + I kicked his ass[…]

took this little sports radio outta julio's office tonite, plastic yellow SONY […]

gotta b at work in 2 mins but can barely keep eyes open[…]

but not by much, just 10 mins or so. what's he expect from his sculler, it ain'[…]

I was pluggin around on bangedup.com and lost track of time, crap I got to be […]

Arnie's punched the price of a fifh of jd up to 18, which is a total rob so i'm[…]

had so many rum and cokes last night i couldn't sleep so wide awake still […]

apparently no one notices when you do this even though it is loud. or they're […]

hahahahahhahahahhaa foudn some new rum in the house today kidn of cloudyb utok […]

fuck you

Our wedding was the longest party I've never been to. If you're married, you […]

Well, the engagement lasted for a year and I still love him as much as ever and[…]

Ray stopped by while Beef was out, and once again I could tell that he wanted […]

Ray is so grumpy about running for President! Ever since he got elected Mayor […]

I didn't think this would be a sticking point, but Beef really wants The […]

<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb([…]

For God's sake, Roast Beef set up a whole list of groomsmen but didn't even […]

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xd9Twbgd84">https://www[…]

These are some songs that didn't work for a nice wedding reception, but I […]

So, I've been looking around for songs for the reception — for the dancing […]

<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color: rgb([…]

<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color: rgb([…]

<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-family:[…]

<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">[…]

<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">August 16, 2006...it's the[…]

June 19, 2006...it's the <span style="font-weight: bold;">[…]

<span style="font-size: 85%;"><span style="font-family[…]

<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:[…]

<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: […]

<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:[…]

It won't pay the bills, but after last time's entry where I played with putting[…]

Hello, Blog! Oh, who am I kidding. I'm not feeling all that cheery. Work has […]

The other day on a walk we noticed that fall had set in, with its crisp cool […]

Oh, hello blog! Wow, what's it been, eight months? Something like that. Anyhow[…]

Piyaugh caught that the FoodStation segment about the restaurants in our area […]

FoodStation, a major cable food network, filmed a segment on Butte last Monday[…]

I got pretty tired of all the crap you have to deal with at The Smoke, and […]

The Smoke does this half-assed thing where we keep a fishbowl behind the […]

I got a pretty nasty cold over the weekend. Beef was real sweet to me, even […]

So Tina decided she was going to have a sophisticated woman-of-the-world day […]

So I finally worked up the nerve to talk to Beef about trying to get me to […]

After we closed up The Smoke tonight Kelly and I lit some cigarettes and had a […]

Tips at The Smoke have been really good lately, so I treated Beef to a nice […]

If you can make it through a weekend at The Smoke, I think you can make it […]

Why didn't I think of this before? I talked to Kelly, the cool bartender at The[…]

I was having a hard time finding any restaurant work, and then I wandered into […]

Well, I guess that's actually a pretty lateral move, but anyhow me and Taco […]

My Christmas was looking pretty sad. Beef couldn't make it because he had to go[…]

Okay, so maybe I was too harsh on him. But I don't think so. Beef didn't call […]

I don't know why I called this entry "bronco." I'm sad. I've been sad[…]

Ugh, Tina's Atkins diet is driving me crazy. We can never order take-out […]

I moved most of my stuff while Beef was underground with Ray, which wasn't too […]

Beef and I aren't really on the same page as far as what we're looking for, […]

Beef's been looking at rental classifieds all week, and Gramma K's been more […]

Beef did the greatest thing! He set up Ray's pool house as a little bungalow […]

The other night Beef cooked this really fatty dinner and flipped out when I […]

I think Beef's been getting high too often during the day. Just now I came home[…]

Roast Beef smoked out with Téodor and Lyle and that little Todd thing Friday […]

Well, I got Beef into the make-out room but he had pretty severe performance […]

I'm really starting to look forward to these parties Ray throws every Friday. […]

Let's see, what happened this week...Beef has been pretty weird. We went to […]

Roast Beef is snoring SO LOUD. Along with the teeth grinding, the weird […]

Okay, Roast Beef's a goof. I knew that when I got involved. I like guys who are[…]

Sorry, blog! I kind of forgot about you this week. I've been kind of busy […]

I swear, Lyle just spent three hours on my hair and only charged me thirty […]

Surprise of surprises, that Lyle guy actually knows how to cut women's hair! He[…]

So Friday night at Ray's Téodor wasn't around, but that didn't matter because […]

But I really wish Beef would come clean about what happened the other night. He[…]

Okay, so Beef's pretty new to this "talking to others about what's on your[…]

I don't know what was going on in his head, but Beef just stalked out of the […]

Roast Beef stayed up late watching FoodTV last night and decided he was going […]

I signed up at CafePress.com tonight, that place that prints on clothing on […]

Roast Beef is such a goof. Today he said the word "hymen" when he was[…]

I would write more here, but I'm doing <a href="https://morrisseydance.[…]

There is this great photo of Angelina Jolie in this month's WIRED. She doesn't […]

Which is great because Gramma K (a) doesn't like to go outside, and (b) won't […]

So like it's not bad enough that Gramma K is completely batty and speaks to the[…]

I'm so glad she got up early today, because I have plans to go hiking up in […]

When I was a kid we had a lot of Bill Cosby's old comedy albums around, and I […]

I was lolling around in bed late today, kind of lazy, but mainly I was waiting […]

Hi, you.<br /><br />I remember you from the handshake at the book […]

<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear […]

<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hi. I’[…]

<span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Roast Beef […]

<span style="font-style: italic;">[Editor's note: this is an […]

Dear Friends of the Library,<br /><br />As a Non-Recognized Nice […]

Dear Friends of the Library,<br /><br />They say that the devil you[…]

<span style="color:red;">Last updated 11/12/2008 10:50AM PDT<[…]

I "blogged," (I'm going to stop putting that word in quotes someday, […]

The pens sit on the shop's counter in the low morning light, drained of ink. A […]

Two quick items of note this week!<br /><br />The first photograph […]

It struck me that I haven't been making much of an appearance in the old "[…]

Like many quasi-computer people my age, I passed whole years at a stretch […]

Well, that was just about the biggest non-holiday Achewood comic production […]

Good evening. Happy holidays. Are you all set, there by the fire, snug as a bug[…]

The woman on the telephone returned from her revels in the ether long enough to[…]

Bacon no. 8 is "North Country Cob Smoked Bacon," and it's a welcome […]

Hempler's Peppered Bacon arrived yesterday. It's thick-cut, looks like a […]

Maybe two months ago the warehouse guy found a couple of old cheap racquets in […]

"Chris, I want you to take a left turn at History, and park the car at the[…]

I went to a pretty expensive college, and sometimes people at pretty expensive […]

In deference to the lingering illness that had me running wounded on three of […]

Food and I have had a rough couple weeks. Late last month I attended a […]

I'm not particularly scared of jowl bacon, actually. The first time I ever […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

In the total body of work which comprises Achewood—a body of work which runs […]

<span style="font-weight: bold;">Part One: Thanks, <span […]

Time's running out for Father's Bacon, what with the next mystery shipment of […]

This evening I managed to create a dish with Father's hickory-smoked bacon that[…]

In deference to the upcoming tax season, we've agreed to spend less money on […]

As I sit down to describe this bacon to you, "Squeeze" is on the […]

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}&[…]

I have just received automated word that my first delivery from the Bacon of […]

I'm not going to lie to you, not today. No, sorry — not now, not on this blog. […]

I went down to Google for an important meeting today (I can't say what it was […]

Dear Friend of the Library, <br /><br />The tree flickers dimly in […]

It's commonly known that some think of golf as an upper-crust sort of sport, a […]

If you were to look at me, you would notice that I suffer from vitiligo, have a[…]

Three years ago, I was invited to golf with my friend John, who lives up in the[…]

A friend had recently invited me to hit balls at a driving range equidistant […]

If you're like me, you more or less grew up on a golf course. I don't mean a […]

Wow, what a crazy ride! Late Saturday, I posted <a href="https://www.[…]

After coveting it for somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty-five years, I […]

Many of you may not know how I spent my 31st birthday. In this brief summary, I[…]

We, the family of three, were tooling about in the car this weekend when the […]

In celebration of the centennial of the San Francisco earthquake, my mom […]

So, like I said, I'm about thirty and up until last week I didn't know how to […]

I used to be a guy who did not have a baby, a wife, or even a blog. I don't […]

I'm thinking of getting back into web design. It's been a few years, and the […]

For the last little while, my computer has been shutting itself down for no […]

Can you believe it. <span style="font-style: italic;">Can you […]

You won't believe this, but I was surrounded by a bit of a Christmas "jinx[…]

I forgot that I had a <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/[…]

It's true — I have a new bed. You may notice a bit more spring in my spiel […]

Well, things didn't work out in Abilene. I guess I blame Chamorro Jim. The guy […]

A little while back, I asked readers to mail me a postcard with the ZIP code of[…]

Last Christmas I was given the complete first-edition hardcover Hardy Boys […]

Today's main thing is that I am so tired my head is hot. Or maybe my head's hot[…]

On the Sunday morning walk I saw something I hadn't seen in a while. No, it […]

Well, many postcards have come in! Thank you for those. As it stands now, I am […]

There comes a time in a man's life when he doesn't want to live on a noisy […]

Apparently my friend is going to wear Achewood apparel on his Bravo TV show on […]

Hey, before you read the rest of this blog entry, could you please go to this &[…]

Now, anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm not the sort to go out and buy […]

Time to lean back in the old upholstered computer chair and flip the top off an[…]

I would like to thank the good readers of Achewood and, more specifically, of […]

What I'm talking about is the kind of toaster oven that mounts beneath a […]

So we got this new car, and it's nice to have a new car, because if you've been[…]

We were at Mollie Stone's trying to think of what to cook for dinner when at […]

The birthday party went well. Many types of people gathered in the yard with […]

Here is a list of things I would like to get done before all the people come […]

<strong>The Experience</strong>: Stepping in dog poop to the degree[…]

It's Mother's Day tomorrow and my wife is recently a mother. I had already […]

I don't really need a new car right now, but Honda Civics are incredibly […]

Most babies' first words are something sweet and nice, like "mama" or[…]

Recently I have been tucking a few sunflower seeds into my cheek while working[…]

Man, why did I make ten quarts of chicken stock when the kitchen is already […]

Well, our shoulder sling thing that I carry the baby in while I work isn't from[…]

Well, I guess people would think it was pretty weird if we had a baby and my […]

Our Limoncello recipe turned out pretty well, but it needed a lot of time. The […]

The doorbell rang at some ungodly hour this morning and the dog went barking […]

Okay, so imagine that you were up late the night before, and you had a […]

Our dog has a game in which she constantly wants you to throw this mini-sized […]

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but there are these people across […]

Tonight a woman showed me a video of a baby being born. As it turns out, when […]

Have you done this? It's pretty much the same as making risotto, except there's[…]

I have a new desk, in a new room. It is a fancy IKEA tall workstation with […]

Sorry, that was an email meant for a friend. I do occasionally have a hard time[…]

To : Gideon Krauss-Finkelman <<a href="mailto:gid_the_yid@gmail[…]

I jerked some chicken tonight. When you're doing this, you sort of half-[…]

I thought I'd get out and stretch my legs a bit today, so I dressed in fancy […]

I never thought it would be cool to make an Amazon Wish List because why should[…]

Herein is a gathering of data points which you may use to assemble a mental […]

I was at my printer's picking up the batch of Volume IV, and I was wearing my […]

Our waitress at lunch had very thick wrists and hands. She seemed nice[…]

Here's my dilemma, and it's not a bad one. Someone recently gave me a jar of […]

The Left Bank, an SF Bay Area French joint with four or five doors, gets knocks[…]

I mentioned that I ate pork yesterday, and then today I ate pork <em>[…]

Alton Brown has a "blog"[…]

So, here were the things causing me stress last week[…]

So, Téodor seems to have re-instigated the risotto wars, we had to cancel my […]

On my nightstand this morning when I woke up: a frozen bowl of what looks like […]

A lot of people want to know what I ate while in Boston recently. Here is a […]

I was driving home from the doctor today and I noticed a large plume of smoke […]

Our local Italian does a bang-up seafood linguini in rich marinara. For a while[…]

There was a pile of bent paper, a picture frame, some tangled wires and a black[…]

<strong>Grocery Stores</strong>[…]

<strong>Hotel accommodations</strong>[…]

<strong>The Flight There</strong>[…]

Liz was pretty famished last night when she got home from work, so I did a &[…]

I was watering the new bougainvillea for the second time today (we're having a […]

Is it too early to be sick of The Apprentice Season 2? The first time around it[…]

Since this place has been a den of thieves lately, I put a little cooler in the[…]

When I was sixteen I spent about four hundred bucks on a Takamine Jasmine […]

It was nice to see that someone had stolen the bacon, hash browns, eggs, beans[…]

<p>I went shopping this evening to find as many ingredients as I could […]

There is a large pile of grated cheese on the counter. It is not even on a […]

We did two unusual things today (Sunday[…]

<b>Here's what I'd like to get done this weekend: </b>[…]

Someone must have let Philippe eat sugar last night because he woke me up with […]

The phone book company threw a phone book into my driveway today and it […]

Today all the PA equipment is right back where it belongs, and there is a note […]

Okay, so I'm missing a PA and a couple hundred feet of cables...but naturally […]

It seems like every time I leave the house, I notice something. For example, […]

Our mint patch is getting a little rampant so this afternoon&nbsp;I culled […]

Or so it seems. Téodor's had plenty of opportunities to bring it down around my[…]

THERE IS STRAWBERRY SODA ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR AND IT HAS FUSED TO THE […]

Maybe Téodor's not going to show up again until I make some visual sign of […]

I was lounging around on the bed earlier, reading a couple different books and […]

Tonight after dinner I had this piece of corn kernel stuck in my teeth, so I […]

I watched this French-Canadian film <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/[…]

I put a small amount of flour dust on the inside of the doorknob to his room, […]

When I was young I had this Hardy Boys book that wasn't part of the main series[…]

So yesterday all I could manage to get down was one of those hard-tack […]

Where is that guy? I'm too nervous to eat, and I've only had an Odwalla […]

I'm getting nervous. Every time I open a door I expect a bucket of scalding […]

I've been feeling cooped up lately, so today I got up around 7 and spent the […]

I was sound asleep in bed when I heard a loud foot stomp, so I jumped up and […]

Strawberry risotto with butter and cinnamon. I had no idea such a thing could […]

That little stinker made me a shrimp and sausage saffron risotto to heat up for[…]

I think T&#233;odor's steamed at me. He's resolutely been making risotto […]

So I made a sandwich (yeah, I've been eating a lot of sandwiches lately) with […]

Well, it's not dinnertime yet, and I haven't eaten much noteworthy today, so I […]

Made a sandwich with turkey bacon, provolone, butter lettuce, tomato, miracle […]

It was pretty good: crab and avocado with pancetta and a lemon vinaigrette, […]

Sat. dinner was pasta and sun breakfast was biscuits with marmite, plus […]

Ok, quick update: lunch on Saturday was a turkey and provolone sandwich with […]

For lunch I had a really nice professional hamburger with good-style fries on […]

Alright so I didn't eat breakfast today. I didn't eat anything so far today, […]

Okay, not too sure what I'm going to have for breakfast tomorrow. We got these[…]

<br />By this title, I do not mean to suggest that I personally have any […]

<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As you […]

<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-[…]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE<br /><br />(Achewood, CA) Hot on the heels of[…]

I have noticed a great silence, following the release of my Classical music. At[…]

Hello.<br /><br />Although the reception of my Piano Music has not […]

<br />In the joy of haste, and O in the joy of growing familiar with this[…]

Good Evening. It has been some years since I have spoken with you, since we […]

A new sandwich company has opened its doors just a few blocks from Pat's house[…]

A little while back I mentioned that I was not happy with Rachael Ray, a famous[…]

There are not many foods which I can eat in common with Pat, as he is quite […]

I do not mean great in that I am<span style="font-style: italic;"&[…]

When I was a boy, it was always a good day when we could land a few sun-caught […]

Call me low, but I do enjoy a good old-fashioned TV Dinner. I cooked one […]

Oh this was not the fancy kind of Book Tour with plane tickets and gleeful &[…]

For the life of me I can not get a straight answer about what plastic is. Some […]

I did not expect to finish my second novel, <span style="font-weight:[…]

I have seen some good old hospitality for the first time in a long while. It […]

Living out West has infected me. I am a slave of the advertisements and the […]

Oh, how it would be fine to go camping. The dog days and locust nights are […]

As many of you may have guessed, I am not a cook of much interest to others. I […]

Oh but how fine is plum season. Ripe delicious plums are such a treat. Their […]

I do not know what Heaven feels like, and I do not Expect to, as my good works […]

My publisher, Chris, had to talk with his printer this week about the finer […]

Chris Onstad says we may publish my book, <span style="font-weight:bold[…]

I will tell you. Just at the last minute, after Chris (of the "Achewood&[…]

At long last I realized that I would need a distributor for my self-published […]

I had prepared well for this party. The theme was good: I would hold it in the […]

I realized this evening while watching a detective show that when a person […]

Oh how it is good to work with one's hands. In the modern computer world they […]

It has been a treasure and a delight to understand the world of book publishing[…]

Book readers:<br /><br />I have good news and with the good news […]

Hello. This is a message from Peter Cropes, the author of this book which you […]

An older man stood at the edge of the clearing, watching the terrible […]

When Eustace K. Dobbs got out of the truck he did not do what a body would […]

The boy's papa slid carefully under the truck as its engine screamed. He had […]

To look into the mind of Eustace K. Dobbs was to look into the barrel of a gun[…]

The boy's papa could not believe that Dimitri would simply disappear from the […]

Eustace K. Dobbs finally had things arranged the way he wanted. Dimitri Warnock[…]

Eustace K. Dobbs pretended to talk on the telephone that was near the bathroom[…]

Eustace K. Dobbs had grown up a wealthy boy in nearby Susquahota county, the […]

Dimitri Warnock and the boy's papa laughed as they remembered their fishing […]

Far back in the woods 3.5 miles from the lake was a deep sink-hole, ringed with[…]

The pretty girls from the local college were having a great time. They were […]

Dimitri and the boy's papa looked at each other. Even though the papa was […]

His old pick-up truck's winch pulled the state trooper's car out of the deep, […]

The bobber sat in the water on top of the lake. It suddenly began to jerk, and […]

Dimitri was flying down the country lane. Corn plants were on either side of […]

Dimitri Warnock was a famous guitar player. He finished his concert at the […]

The flies were real bad that year. I remember it. They were the size of grapes[…]

Chapter One[…]

This boy is in China. He is a Special Creature, under God's protection[…]

Friday

<img src="https://www.espikes.com/shop/graphics/shoes/307203.jpg"&[…]

it is so cute the way a dog is

<img src="https://www.filthymess.com/images/vomit2edit.jpg">

Peter H. Cropes

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