saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Connellingus, snoozebar, TTAGXAMM, philosophe)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Connellingus, snoozebar, TTAGXAMM, philosophe)
evolume
+21 -0
only some of their hands.
only some of their hands.
chachibenji
+0 -0
It is such a cool, dangerous feeling to share them.
It is such a cool, dangerous feeling to share them.
relaxing
+2 -0
Yeah, scared but important!
Yeah, scared but important!
dicklaurent
+2 -0
Nice Pete tells nice jokes. There is a joke in Chapter 9 of his book A Hilarious Comedy.
Nice Pete tells nice jokes. There is a joke in Chapter 9 of his book A Hilarious Comedy.
chaesar
+0 -2
Do they make vans that have a clutch?
Do they make vans that have a clutch?
alejandroadam
+2 -1
I'm pretty sure every form of automobile comes in Manual or "standard" as it is sometimes called. (plus even though you have no controll over it, even automatics have clutches)
I'm pretty sure every form of automobile comes in Manual or "standard" as it is sometimes called. (plus even though you have no controll over it, even automatics have clutches)
cleave
+9 -1
All vehicles have clutches, yes. Most larger vehicles nowadays (trucks, vans) only come with Automatic transmissions - though you can find the manual/standard with some diligence. If it's an automatic he probably would not have been able to do that because of the restrictor plate on the clutch that stops the vehicle from moving at a standstill with high rpm.
Judging from the rest (most) of the vehicles in Achewood, he probably has a van that's in excess of 25 years old, and thus could easily be standard transmission.
All vehicles have clutches, yes. Most larger vehicles nowadays (trucks, vans) only come with Automatic transmissions - though you can find the manual/standard with some diligence. If it's an automatic he probably would not have been able to do that because of the restrictor plate on the clutch that stops the vehicle from moving at a standstill with high rpm.
Judging from the rest (most) of the vehicles in Achewood, he probably has a van that's in excess of 25 years old, and thus could easily be standard transmission.
boredom_man
+5 -0
Furthermore, he's from a part of the world--hilly and rural--in which having a stickshift makes driving easier and significantly less dangerous--as opposed to a traffic jam in NorCal, where automatics reduce fatigue and stress. In reality, the culture shock would probably make him more inclined to drive an automatic, but as a Symbol of Rural Hill Country, he's gonna have to have a stick.
Furthermore, he's from a part of the world--hilly and rural--in which having a stickshift makes driving easier and significantly less dangerous--as opposed to a traffic jam in NorCal, where automatics reduce fatigue and stress. In reality, the culture shock would probably make him more inclined to drive an automatic, but as a Symbol of Rural Hill Country, he's gonna have to have a stick.
terriblerobot
+0 -0
Man, y'all some fools (mostly cleave)... I'd really like to know what automatic you know of that has a restrictor plate, particularly since a restrictor plate is used in the intake and has nothing to do with transmissions whatsoever. Furthermore, 90% of all automatics use a torque-converter, so there is no clutch. Some have a clutch of sorts, but it only engages at steady cruising speeds to obtain better gas mileage. It would be entirely possible to do what Nice Pete said even with a slushbox, just replace "clutch pedal" with "brake pedal".
Nice Pete drives a early 60's Ford E100 panel van, which came with a 3 speed manual. Apparently, it has had some work done to it, because I sincerely doubt the factory motor would survive a 6,000rpm launch, let alone 8,000.
Sorry for 'spergin...
Man, y'all some fools (mostly cleave)... I'd really like to know what automatic you know of that has a restrictor plate, particularly since a restrictor plate is used in the intake and has nothing to do with transmissions whatsoever. Furthermore, 90% of all automatics use a torque-converter, so there is no clutch. Some have a clutch of sorts, but it only engages at steady cruising speeds to obtain better gas mileage. It would be entirely possible to do what Nice Pete said even with a slushbox, just replace "clutch pedal" with "brake pedal".
Nice Pete drives a early 60's Ford E100 panel van, which came with a 3 speed manual. Apparently, it has had some work done to it, because I sincerely doubt the factory motor would survive a 6,000rpm launch, let alone 8,000.
Sorry for 'spergin...
soupytwist
+3 -1
This strip also works if you ignore all of Teodor's thoughts.
This strip also works if you ignore all of Teodor's thoughts.
semiquaver
+0 -0
FaL handle. Yes.
FaL handle. Yes.
chachibenji
+1 -0
Actually I suddenly realize after reading this that Teodors thought bubbles are almost like an afterthought since his facial expressions follow Petes words rather well on their own.
GASP
?
Actually I suddenly realize after reading this that Teodors thought bubbles are almost like an afterthought since his facial expressions follow Petes words rather well on their own.
GASP
?
closefriend
+1 -0
"Here are some of their hands"
ba-dum CHSHH!!
"Here are some of their hands"
ba-dum CHSHH!!
somanywhales
+1 -1
Man, how do you respond to that joke?
Man, how do you respond to that joke?
someone3
+0 -0
you laugh as unakwardly as possible and hope for the best.
you laugh as unakwardly as possible and hope for the best.
tttt
+10 -0
accept the hands
accept the hands
peterjoel
+11 -1
It would be more polite to accept only some of the hands
It would be more polite to accept only some of the hands
tekende
+1 -0
"Well, I suppose I could take a finger or two, thank you..."
"Well, I suppose I could take a finger or two, thank you..."
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
That's what your MOM said, 'fore I shaved her back!
That's what your MOM said, 'fore I shaved her back!
mcwee
+0 -1
"there are tears of frustration pouring down his face" is the small detail that brings this all together. Genius.
"there are tears of frustration pouring down his face" is the small detail that brings this all together. Genius.
straw
+0 -2
That's a pretty good joke
That's a pretty good joke
byronic
+0 -2
More anti-dentite humor. When, oh when will the world learn.
More anti-dentite humor. When, oh when will the world learn.
gormster
+1 -1
I think you mean when will dentists learn.
I think you mean when will dentists learn.
tekende
+1 -1
They do bring it on themselves.
They do bring it on themselves.
johnnyc
+4 -0
I'm assuming that the latter two comments were marked lame by dentists .
I'm assuming that the latter two comments were marked lame by dentists .
onepapertiger
+2 -0
Wait a minute, does Pat and Nice Pete's mutual hatred of dentists happen to be a coincidence? (awkward grammar)
Wait a minute, does Pat and Nice Pete's mutual hatred of dentists happen to be a coincidence? (awkward grammar)
missbee
+0 -0
Pat hates BARBERS.
Pat hates BARBERS.
greenkoolayd
+2 -0
back in the day, they were the same dude.
back in the day, they were the same dude.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
"Hey man, I just needed a haircut! Quit pulling my MOLARS out!"
[WOH-WAH, "SURPRISED" audience laughter]
"Hey man, I just needed a haircut! Quit pulling my MOLARS out!"
[WOH-WAH, "SURPRISED" audience laughter]
cdl146
+2 -1
Nice Pete looks very strange in profile.
Nice Pete looks very strange in profile.
tinhand
+0 -0
A comment left by tinhand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeyramoney, _cheesekayke, Taidje_Khan)
A comment left by tinhand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeyramoney, _cheesekayke, Taidje_Khan)
tinhand
+0 -1
I mean WITH impulse, but without the other things
I mean WITH impulse, but without the other things
raychurr
+0 -1
I couldn't bear being without commenting privileges after reading this comic. I think I peed.
I couldn't bear being without commenting privileges after reading this comic. I think I peed.
peterjoel
+6 -1
You think you peed or you did pee?
You think you peed or you did pee?
tekende
+0 -1
There is a substantial difference.
There is a substantial difference.
vandenbos
+3 -1
They might have been misguided tears. No way of knowing, really.
They might have been misguided tears. No way of knowing, really.
sp1derbaby
+1 -0
"Misguided tears of frustration pouring down his face" takes on a much worse meaning.
"Misguided tears of frustration pouring down his face" takes on a much worse meaning.
achilleselbow
+10 -0
He Peed, but he did not Accept that he Peed.
He Peed, but he did not Accept that he Peed.
small
+6 -1
I know how Teodor feels, there's this guy who comes into my shop with a huge scar all the way down his face, he's a proper east end geezer. He took a shine to me and always says "remember, if you need any work let me know". It's an eerie feeling of ultimate kudos and worry.
I know how Teodor feels, there's this guy who comes into my shop with a huge scar all the way down his face, he's a proper east end geezer. He took a shine to me and always says "remember, if you need any work let me know". It's an eerie feeling of ultimate kudos and worry.
deancain29
+0 -1
the guy that owns the golf course I play at is an old school east end lad. he always gives us free drinks...I feel indebted to him..its a feeling I don't want.
the guy that owns the golf course I play at is an old school east end lad. he always gives us free drinks...I feel indebted to him..its a feeling I don't want.
phy
+2 -1
Either he didn't have time to get all of their hands, or he used a portion of them to fend off a chemus witch
Either he didn't have time to get all of their hands, or he used a portion of them to fend off a chemus witch
nicolae
+9 -1
Great, thanks, Nice Pete! Now I don't have to go out for hands today. You are a lifesaver.
Great, thanks, Nice Pete! Now I don't have to go out for hands today. You are a lifesaver.
cailetshadow
+0 -1
Nice Pete could have really helped out with Ray's "tacky front yard" project, but for some reason he was not allowed to.
Nice Pete could have really helped out with Ray's "tacky front yard" project, but for some reason he was not allowed to.
tekende
+1 -0
I don't think Ray ever thinks about Nice Pete if he is not in his presence.
I don't think Ray ever thinks about Nice Pete if he is not in his presence.
senseihollywood
+4 -1
... The Aristocrats!
... The Aristocrats!
clembot
+0 -0
This is one of the most well composed strips ever
This is one of the most well composed strips ever
bartleby
+1 -0
For me, the best part of this strip (one of my favorites) is Teodor snapping back to attention when Nice Pete starts to get angry, with "Woah, I'd better pay attention to this joke." It's just so representative of Nice Pete's menace that Teodor thinks he might be held accountable for the joke.
For me, the best part of this strip (one of my favorites) is Teodor snapping back to attention when Nice Pete starts to get angry, with "Woah, I'd better pay attention to this joke." It's just so representative of Nice Pete's menace that Teodor thinks he might be held accountable for the joke.
sp1derbaby
+0 -0
"I'm going to tell you a joke now" does it for me. Nice Pete knows he's in control and that he's dictating the terms of the conversation. Also, Téodor's third thought.
"I'm going to tell you a joke now" does it for me. Nice Pete knows he's in control and that he's dictating the terms of the conversation. Also, Téodor's third thought.
roguecheddar
+0 -0
check out how pissed pete looks in panel 5
check out how pissed pete looks in panel 5
eatmorekix
+8 -0
dn2bad (decided not to become a dentist)
dn2bad (decided not to become a dentist)
swatson
+0 -0
HAHAHAHAHA! Good one Nice Pete!
HAHAHAHAHA! Good one Nice Pete!
nabeel84
+0 -0
This is why Ray's mother does not want him to defend vans. I think using a van to transport bodies is using a van like a car. It shows Nice Pete is low class and of low mind.
This is why Ray's mother does not want him to defend vans. I think using a van to transport bodies is using a van like a car. It shows Nice Pete is low class and of low mind.
charchar
+0 -0
My friend and I have a running cannibal humour. We describe attractive boys as "edibly pretty." There's also this classic joke of ours:
Me: Hey, how are almonds like screwdrivers?
Her: They do not belong in boys' bottoms!
(Read Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite and don't worry. It's like incest: you only go to hell if you enjoy it.)
My friend and I have a running cannibal humour. We describe attractive boys as "edibly pretty." There's also this classic joke of ours:
Me: Hey, how are almonds like screwdrivers?
Her: They do not belong in boys' bottoms!
(Read Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite and don't worry. It's like incest: you only go to hell if you enjoy it.)
tekende
+1 -0
What if I only enjoy reading about it?
What if I only enjoy reading about it?
drago25
+0 -0
Oh, Pete
Oh, Pete
mattylite
+1 -0
Nice Pete took me in by being all relaxed in the top row (even that arm-around-the-back-of-the-chair way of sitting in panel 3), but then got progressively more all in my face in the bottom row. Plus I got Clash of the Titans on my mind and so I am afraid blood is gonna drip out of that bag and turn into giant scorpions.
Nice Pete took me in by being all relaxed in the top row (even that arm-around-the-back-of-the-chair way of sitting in panel 3), but then got progressively more all in my face in the bottom row. Plus I got Clash of the Titans on my mind and so I am afraid blood is gonna drip out of that bag and turn into giant scorpions.
shaggy23
+0 -0
Nice Pete = 5
Nice Pete = 5
cyberia
+0 -0
Definitely a top 5 strip
Definitely a top 5 strip
dasilodavi
+0 -0
A comment left by dasilodavi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mr_lostman28, sex_bicycle, rowboat, OnePaperTiger, killingthejay, Darthemed)
A comment left by dasilodavi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mr_lostman28, sex_bicycle, rowboat, OnePaperTiger, killingthejay, Darthemed)
sex_bicycle
+0 -0
is it somehow meant to get funnier the more you say it? well it's obviously not working pfft
is it somehow meant to get funnier the more you say it? well it's obviously not working pfft
invidious
+0 -0
This is like Achewood meets Red Meat.
This is like Achewood meets Red Meat.
m3funkyb
+0 -0
knowing a murderer is more or less equivalent to helping bums cross the road
knowing a murderer is more or less equivalent to helping bums cross the road
rowboat
+0 -0
Not always mutually exclusive.
Not always mutually exclusive.
butta
+0 -1
Alt text makes this one.
Alt text makes this one.
darthemed
+1 -1
Nice Pete, The Joker, and The Comedian. A savory trio, best served ladled over lightly steamed basmati rice. Your guests will be amazed, delighted, and put to inconvenience after their digestive systems do their jobs. Do not allow the rice to become over-steamed.
Nice Pete, The Joker, and The Comedian. A savory trio, best served ladled over lightly steamed basmati rice. Your guests will be amazed, delighted, and put to inconvenience after their digestive systems do their jobs. Do not allow the rice to become over-steamed.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
The moral of this story is: Don't fuck with Nice Pete.
The moral of this story is: Don't fuck with Nice Pete.
hellsfruition
+0 -0
Re-reading this, I love how expressive Teodor's eyebrows are from panel to panel.
Re-reading this, I love how expressive Teodor's eyebrows are from panel to panel.
tdkg
+0 -0
Sometimes it scares me how many of Nice Pete's strips I give 5's too...
Sometimes it scares me how many of Nice Pete's strips I give 5's too...
duperando
+0 -0
I like how Nice Pete is kind of flexing in panel three. he's all "I caught a fish THIS big"
I like how Nice Pete is kind of flexing in panel three. he's all "I caught a fish THIS big"
jar
+0 -0
Nice Pete's jokes are way worse than Ray's.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=02162005
Nice Pete's jokes are way worse than Ray's.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=02162005
"Here are some of their hands" is a top five punchline for Achewood.
I agree.
I hope to be able to use that as a punchline in one of my own jokes someday. I could fill a bag with sausages and red ink. It would be a knock knock joke.
A comment left by imitationcrab was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AndrewofDOOM, RogerGS, _cheesekayke, robbingdog, aquamuffin, PurpleRose, Footbullet)
Knock Knock
Who's there?
I killed a family
I killed a family who?
Here are some of their hands
This made me do a chuckle
A rough chuckle?
A comment left by dasilodavi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Toast, n00b, HSE, hikikomori, farqussus, unquotable, NDCaesar, Jesus, Boyd, Footbullet)
Oh shit dude, you were lamed by Jesus!
fuuuuuuck
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jollysaintpete, dasilodavi, Davey-Boy, Panserbjorne)
8-year-olds, man, 8-year-olds.
I might just go to every strip and make sure there is a Lebowski reference. The latest ones certainly do, but I gotta fix the oldies.
A noble endeavour.
Why was this rated "lame"? WHY?!?
Oh, how I lol'd.
the sadist's life
Did you ever do this, fill a bag with sausages and such as ketchup and try it out with the knock knock joke? I have been strongly considering trying it out.
i love how he only got SOME of the hands, not all of them. i wonder what he did with the others...
They were crushed (by the car and collapsed wall) beyond recognition.
I actually find the comic to be more humorous without Pete's final interlude.
It seems like it's very easy to get away with murder and other serious crimes in the Underworld.
Pete - multiple murderer
Pat - at least two near-fatal shootings
Ray - shot Beef and hired Pete to mutilate himself in front of minors.
Cornelius - imagined cyber-buggery (that child is Philippe)
Also Cornelius was complicit in the murder of Virtual Al Murray by Mr Teal.
And Ray hired various men to form a death relationship with Nolan (whom we never saw again).
And Lie Bot (in the guise of Uncle Culpepper) shot Beef.
Hey Onstad, that leaves at least five potential story arcs still to play out:
Lyle shoots Beef!
Cornelius shoots Beef!
Philippe shoots Beef!
Todd shoots Beef!
Vlad shoots Beef!
Oh god. That Imogen Heap song would NEVER STOP PLAYING.