xi
+0 -0
Oh my god it IS
Oh my god it IS
gormster
+2 -0
the new Catholic Indulgence? Yes. Btw, if you haven't watched Penn and Teller's episode on organic food, I highly recommend it. If you're interested in this kind of thing, it's a real eye opener, and if you're not, it's got titties.
the new Catholic Indulgence? Yes. Btw, if you haven't watched Penn and Teller's episode on organic food, I highly recommend it. If you're interested in this kind of thing, it's a real eye opener, and if you're not, it's got titties.
machineelf
+0 -0
I like it, I like everything about it. But isn't this exactly how the lash of thanatos arc started?
I like it, I like everything about it. But isn't this exactly how the lash of thanatos arc started?
hatstand_mcq
+19 -0
Achewood is now entirely a comic about people starting businesses. They should call it 'Ray, and sometimes Teodor's Entrepreneurial Adventures.' They could give it out at induction weeks for business studies students. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Achewood could be used to teach people about startup businesses. Let me get microsoft word open on my desktop, and I'll type up a proposal. Let's see if I can get Macmillan publishing interested...
Achewood is now entirely a comic about people starting businesses. They should call it 'Ray, and sometimes Teodor's Entrepreneurial Adventures.' They could give it out at induction weeks for business studies students. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Achewood could be used to teach people about startup businesses. Let me get microsoft word open on my desktop, and I'll type up a proposal. Let's see if I can get Macmillan publishing interested...
hamscout
+5 -0
Assetbar is a forum entirely about posters starting businesses to teach people to start businesses.
(But that's none of my business.)
Assetbar is a forum entirely about posters starting businesses to teach people to start businesses.
(But that's none of my business.)
belgand
+1 -0
And it would work too if only any of us actually had the required $10k.
And it would work too if only any of us actually had the required $10k.
plummet
+0 -0
Alright, guys, I'm gonna start investing in businesses, help me become the next Bernie Madoff.
Alright, guys, I'm gonna start investing in businesses, help me become the next Bernie Madoff.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Dear Sir,
Request for Urgent Business Relationship.
I am the group managing director of the Nigeria National Potato Corporation (NNPC) and a member of the ad hoc committee
Dear Sir,
Request for Urgent Business Relationship.
I am the group managing director of the Nigeria National Potato Corporation (NNPC) and a member of the ad hoc committee
vreeeee
+0 -0
Do what I did
(Only 10K down)
Do what I did
(Only 10K down)
belgand
+0 -0
You repeated the same joke, but this time you added a cunning misquotation into the mix. How astounding! Your mother must be inordinately proud of you.
You repeated the same joke, but this time you added a cunning misquotation into the mix. How astounding! Your mother must be inordinately proud of you.
vreeeee
+0 -0
I've been away.
I've been away.
spectre
+1 -0
And sometimes Beef starts a business, too.
He just has to stay away from predatory fligt attendants carrying BLENDED SCOTCH.
And sometimes Beef starts a business, too.
He just has to stay away from predatory fligt attendants carrying BLENDED SCOTCH.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Ooo ooo Waves hand to get teacher's attention -- I'M A BUSINESS!
I've filed a Schedule C most of my adult life (that's the one for a sole proprietor type biz), me being a freelance writer in my spare time, sometimes all the time.
Ooo ooo Waves hand to get teacher's attention -- I'M A BUSINESS!
I've filed a Schedule C most of my adult life (that's the one for a sole proprietor type biz), me being a freelance writer in my spare time, sometimes all the time.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
A comment left by newspaperdrone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tthug, invidious, LordPretzel, hotconnerybod, PresrvdKillick, SPECTRE)
A comment left by newspaperdrone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tthug, invidious, LordPretzel, hotconnerybod, PresrvdKillick, SPECTRE)
cracklewater
+1 -0
The point of the short strips was to make regular updates more likely.
We've had two long strips in less than three days.
That's good! Don't jinx it, ya radge weegee fuckur!
The point of the short strips was to make regular updates more likely.
We've had two long strips in less than three days.
That's good! Don't jinx it, ya radge weegee fuckur!
belgand
+6 -0
True, but we also only got about two of those short strips and neither was particularly great. Looks like the experiment failed on both fronts.
Like Hitler.
True, but we also only got about two of those short strips and neither was particularly great. Looks like the experiment failed on both fronts.
Like Hitler.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Oooh! Russian Front ( frost ) BURN !
Oooh! Russian Front ( frost ) BURN !
gormster
+0 -0
Hey. Godwin's law.
Hey. Godwin's law.
belgand
+0 -0
That would be the joke, yes.
Belgand has also just finished reading Stalingrad: The Fateful Siege and is thinking about it slightly more than usual.
That would be the joke, yes.
Belgand has also just finished reading Stalingrad: The Fateful Siege and is thinking about it slightly more than usual.
jeffspaulding
+9 -0
Quote:
What a coincidence; I just finished reading Onstad -- Stanford Grad: the Fitful Sage
Quote:
just finished reading Stalingrad: The Fateful Siege
What a coincidence; I just finished reading Onstad -- Stanford Grad: the Fitful Sage
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
if you dont stop saying funny things im going to spend all my chuppies on you.
if you dont stop saying funny things im going to spend all my chuppies on you.
wiliamthepleasr
+0 -0
Is saying chuppies the assetbar equivalent of 'no homo?'
I MUST KNOW.
Is saying chuppies the assetbar equivalent of 'no homo?'
I MUST KNOW.
rowboat
+0 -0
No, it is the assetbar equivalent of saying "libary."
No, it is the assetbar equivalent of saying "libary."
granularsilica
+0 -0
The Kindly Ones is an inside look at the Germans during the Battle of Stalingrad, among other things, like figuring out how to run execution squads.
The Kindly Ones is an inside look at the Germans during the Battle of Stalingrad, among other things, like figuring out how to run execution squads.
rowboat
+0 -0
And just when I thought I'd read every book written about that battle....
And just when I thought I'd read every book written about that battle....
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh. Fiction. Never mind.
Oh. Fiction. Never mind.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Calm down, Mark.
Calm down, Mark.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Godwin-chubby!
Godwin-chubby!
lordpretzel
+32 -1
WHY CAN RAY NOT HAVE A FONDNESS FOR LASAGNA AND DISLIKE CERTAIN DAYS OF THE WEEK
WHY CAN RAY NOT HAVE A FONDNESS FOR LASAGNA AND DISLIKE CERTAIN DAYS OF THE WEEK
lordparadise
+1 -0
Philippe vs. Nermal in a cagematch. Who you got?
Philippe vs. Nermal in a cagematch. Who you got?
cracklewater
+32 -0
Philippe, any day. That little otter has a deep dark side. Witness his frequent thoughts of self-extinction (and the ease with which he imagines himself dead), not to mention his rapid ascent to King of the waste transfer station.
I can't remember much about Nermal, except that many people thought he was a female. I think his main power was being cute.
"Where's Nermal's crumpled, broken body?"
"Philippe is standing on it."
Philippe, any day. That little otter has a deep dark side. Witness his frequent thoughts of self-extinction (and the ease with which he imagines himself dead), not to mention his rapid ascent to King of the waste transfer station.
I can't remember much about Nermal, except that many people thought he was a female. I think his main power was being cute.
"Where's Nermal's crumpled, broken body?"
"Philippe is standing on it."
silvereyes
+1 -0
I know! Poil boiling gravy in Nermal's eyes! That ought to do her in!
I know! Poil boiling gravy in Nermal's eyes! That ought to do her in!
gormster
+4 -0
Quote:
Quote:
.
Quote:
except that many people thought he was a female
Quote:
That ought to do her in!
.
tekende
+3 -0
Jim Davis can say that Nermal is male as many times as he wants. I will never believe him.
Jim Davis can say that Nermal is male as many times as he wants. I will never believe him.
cracklewater
+6 -0
It's those dang eyelashes. I can't tell you how many times that false signifier has gotten me into trouble in Thailand.
It's those dang eyelashes. I can't tell you how many times that false signifier has gotten me into trouble in Thailand.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
I think you made a mistake earlier than looking at their eyelashes.
I think you made a mistake earlier than looking at their eyelashes.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Well, if we're being honest, it's more 'plausible deniability' than a 'mistake'.
I mean, cocks in frocks is one thing. But you want to get a vaguely believable one in case you're rumbled. Then you can act all shocked.
Shit, did I type that, or just think it?
Well, if we're being honest, it's more 'plausible deniability' than a 'mistake'.
I mean, cocks in frocks is one thing. But you want to get a vaguely believable one in case you're rumbled. Then you can act all shocked.
Shit, did I type that, or just think it?
radioelectric
+0 -0
Wait, does that mean Garfield is gay?
Wait, does that mean Garfield is gay?
autrepoupee
+3 -0
did you never notice how incorrigibly sassy he is
did you never notice how incorrigibly sassy he is
wazza
+0 -0
but gay men take care of themselves and would never eat such amounts of lasagne
that is the accepted stereotype
but gay men take care of themselves and would never eat such amounts of lasagne
that is the accepted stereotype
woodenteeth
+1 -0
I would say Garfield is a Bear, but that would just be confusing.
I would say Garfield is a Bear, but that would just be confusing.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Eunuchs are sassy, yes? I mean, what else can ya do to them?
Eunuchs are sassy, yes? I mean, what else can ya do to them?
wazza
+3 -0
My bet is on the cage. It will defeat them both.
My bet is on the cage. It will defeat them both.
sonofkong
+0 -0
Ray has moved onto selling life concepts people do not need.
Ray has moved onto selling life concepts people do not need.
spectre
+0 -0
Next stop: motivational speaking and MLM.
Next stop: motivational speaking and MLM.
dougthehead
+13 -0
Fuck the haters. Storyline. We're doing this, baby.
Fuck the haters. Storyline. We're doing this, baby.
lordparadise
+1 -0
Possibly including the dramatic return of Airwolf.
Philippe's sneakers could also be modified to great effect.
Possibly including the dramatic return of Airwolf.
Philippe's sneakers could also be modified to great effect.
spectre
+0 -0
Mexican Magic Realism Sneakers: jog through walls, cloud men's feet, stride right and . . . stare at goats!
Mexican Magic Realism Sneakers: jog through walls, cloud men's feet, stride right and . . . stare at goats!
pmbarrett
+1 -0
i would chubby this ten times if i could
arc me. arc me until i break into satisfied pieces.
i would chubby this ten times if i could
arc me. arc me until i break into satisfied pieces.
deus
+0 -0
FUCK YEAH!
FUCK YEAH!
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
WHOA ANOTHER ONE ALREADY
WHOA ANOTHER ONE ALREADY
wazza
+0 -0
Ray enjoys the idea of other people paying large amounts of money for potatoes.
My bet? Mexican Magical Realism journey to 19th Century Ireland.
Ray enjoys the idea of other people paying large amounts of money for potatoes.
My bet? Mexican Magical Realism journey to 19th Century Ireland.
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
nooooooo
nooooooo
newspaperdrone
+5 -0
30 panels per comic, one update per week, 25 comics. Ray will end up having a rap battle with the King of Ireland to decide the fate of Ireland's potatoes. He'll win but be sentenced to execution because he was so good. The King's daughter (who looks a lot like Tina) will take pity on him and plot a daring escape that is helped along the way after Roast Beef tumbles into this crazy world after eating a Mexican Magical Burrito.
30 panels per comic, one update per week, 25 comics. Ray will end up having a rap battle with the King of Ireland to decide the fate of Ireland's potatoes. He'll win but be sentenced to execution because he was so good. The King's daughter (who looks a lot like Tina) will take pity on him and plot a daring escape that is helped along the way after Roast Beef tumbles into this crazy world after eating a Mexican Magical Burrito.
plummet
+0 -0
Watch this happen.
Watch this happen.
stsasser
+0 -0
Buy an orange 'to fight the scurvy you got while on the Sea Shepard.'
Buy an orange 'to fight the scurvy you got while on the Sea Shepard.'
allenphreak
+2 -0
Sea Wrex.
Sea Wrex.
newspaperdrone
+1 -0
Mass Effect references? In MY Assetbar?
Mass Effect references? In MY Assetbar?
awko
+0 -0
Anemones everywhere!
Anemones everywhere!
wazza
+4 -0
it is statistically probable at a rate higher than your preconceptions would lead you to expect
it is statistically probable at a rate higher than your preconceptions would lead you to expect
rearadmiral
+1 -0
Goddamnit
Now whenever someone completely misconstrues the context of something someone else says, i'll have to imagine a booming voice saying 'Cleanup on aisle Brain!' over a scratchy grocery PA system.
Goddamnit
Now whenever someone completely misconstrues the context of something someone else says, i'll have to imagine a booming voice saying 'Cleanup on aisle Brain!' over a scratchy grocery PA system.
coldfrog
+0 -0
The phone call was place at the same time the strip was released, because Ray simply doesn't have time to wait.
This idea will be made profitable!
The phone call was place at the same time the strip was released, because Ray simply doesn't have time to wait.
This idea will be made profitable!
coldfrog
+0 -0
Oh, and he materialized that martini between panels one and two using solely the power of business propositions.
Oh, and he materialized that martini between panels one and two using solely the power of business propositions.
taskmaster
+0 -0
Or he was holding it in his non phone hand and then set it down. Knowing Ray, a quick tipple before this call is entirely likely.
Or he was holding it in his non phone hand and then set it down. Knowing Ray, a quick tipple before this call is entirely likely.
tbtabby
+0 -0
I hope they sell some Mythbusters Death Metal Peas as well. It's been scientifically proved that loud, raspy screams produce better peas.
I hope they sell some Mythbusters Death Metal Peas as well. It's been scientifically proved that loud, raspy screams produce better peas.
aperson
+0 -0
Re- the alt text: The precautionary principal dictates that we must buy the talked-to apple. It's like global warming.
Re- the alt text: The precautionary principal dictates that we must buy the talked-to apple. It's like global warming.
belgand
+4 -0
Really it doesn't matter which you choose. The cute girl would never date someone who shops at Whole Foods.
The correct answer is to dismissively compare both of them to the apples from your friend's orchard up in Tomales. Complaining that they don't plan to donate any of the profits to help the situation in Latvia (there is no situation in Latvia, but she will be attracted to learn about any situation that she is not yet aware of, yet unwilling to admit that she does not know of it) would be the advanced move to seal the deal.
Really it doesn't matter which you choose. The cute girl would never date someone who shops at Whole Foods.
The correct answer is to dismissively compare both of them to the apples from your friend's orchard up in Tomales. Complaining that they don't plan to donate any of the profits to help the situation in Latvia (there is no situation in Latvia, but she will be attracted to learn about any situation that she is not yet aware of, yet unwilling to admit that she does not know of it) would be the advanced move to seal the deal.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
I need these thought vectors - indeed chub worthy my good man.
Thank you.
I need these thought vectors - indeed chub worthy my good man.
Thank you.
mawk
+0 -0
"thought vectors" is a good term. makes me feel like I should be doing my thinking in a white lab coat.
"thought vectors" is a good term. makes me feel like I should be doing my thinking in a white lab coat.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
you certainly have a gift for reeling in the cutie-ass urban hillbilly bitches. mad props.
you certainly have a gift for reeling in the cutie-ass urban hillbilly bitches. mad props.
falseprophet
+1 -0
Everytime I turn on the BBC some nerd is trying to get me to care about Cameroon.
Dude I just ain't that type of black guy. Give up.
Everytime I turn on the BBC some nerd is trying to get me to care about Cameroon.
Dude I just ain't that type of black guy. Give up.
soup_alex
+0 -0
At least they're not trying to get you to care about Cameron .[/lame political humour]
I... I'm sorry, assetbarbers.
At least they're not trying to get you to care about Cameron .[/lame political humour]
I... I'm sorry, assetbarbers.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
And no more goddamn jerky beef.
And no more goddamn jerky beef.
awksedperl
+0 -0
jeffspaulding cruelly reminds me of when Eddie Murphy was funny.
jeffspaulding cruelly reminds me of when Eddie Murphy was funny.
daidai
+1 -0
When you were six?
When you were six?
awksedperl
+0 -0
Seventeen, if the criterion used is the last funny film that Murphy carried as the star. But he has been funny since then in "Bowfinger", "Shrek", and about half of "Raw".
Seventeen, if the criterion used is the last funny film that Murphy carried as the star. But he has been funny since then in "Bowfinger", "Shrek", and about half of "Raw".
awksedperl
+0 -0
"But he has been funny since then in "Bowfinger", "Shrek", and about half of "Raw"."
Should read:
"He has been funny since then in "Bowfinger", "Shrek", and about half of "Raw". But that's about it. "
"But he has been funny since then in "Bowfinger", "Shrek", and about half of "Raw"."
Should read:
"He has been funny since then in "Bowfinger", "Shrek", and about half of "Raw". But that's about it. "
autrepoupee
+1 -0
wait wait
Bowfinger ?
wait wait
Bowfinger ?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He only plays one character, from where I'm standing that is an acceptable Eddie Murphy performance.
He only plays one character, from where I'm standing that is an acceptable Eddie Murphy performance.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Wait.
Wait.
belgand
+0 -0
I still find it astounding that he becomes noticeably less funny about halfway through "Coming to America". Comedy scientists are hard at work trying to detect the exact moment at which he lost it.
"Bowfinger" was good, but it was probably more due to Steve Martin who has, likewise, decided that family comedies pay better than real work. It also has Heather Graham taking her top off (even if you don't see anything) for, like, the fiftieth time or something.
I still find it astounding that he becomes noticeably less funny about halfway through "Coming to America". Comedy scientists are hard at work trying to detect the exact moment at which he lost it.
"Bowfinger" was good, but it was probably more due to Steve Martin who has, likewise, decided that family comedies pay better than real work. It also has Heather Graham taking her top off (even if you don't see anything) for, like, the fiftieth time or something.
granularsilica
+0 -0
It was when he became totally surrounded by sycophants, yes-men, and a "crew" -- then he directed and produced himself into idiocy.
It was when he became totally surrounded by sycophants, yes-men, and a "crew" -- then he directed and produced himself into idiocy.
rowboat
+0 -0
He lost it right after the Gumby sketch.
He lost it right after the Gumby sketch.
awksedperl
+0 -0
I'll be a bit more generous and say he was funny until immediately after "Beverly Hills Cop".
I'll be a bit more generous and say he was funny until immediately after "Beverly Hills Cop".
belgand
+1 -0
"Party All The Time" came out in '85.
"Party All The Time" came out in '85.
granularsilica
+0 -0
There was some hope for him in "Coming to America," but his sidekick Arsenio did look scared.
There was some hope for him in "Coming to America," but his sidekick Arsenio did look scared.
tekende
+0 -0
Bowfinger was not good. It was...interesting. Curious. Unusual. But not good.
Bowfinger was not good. It was...interesting. Curious. Unusual. But not good.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
like having sex with you
oh man
like having sex with you
oh man
hatstand_mcq
+11 -0
I for one am very much behind the organic movement. I have often looked at the world as a whole and thought 'things are fine, but I wish food was more expensive'.
I for one am very much behind the organic movement. I have often looked at the world as a whole and thought 'things are fine, but I wish food was more expensive'.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
hipsters have boners for organic farming because the farmers that use chemicals and farm improperly are the sort of farmers that employ laborers that are in this country illegally. basically, hipsters hate brown guys and feel that they dont deserve to earn money in our country.
hipsters have boners for organic farming because the farmers that use chemicals and farm improperly are the sort of farmers that employ laborers that are in this country illegally. basically, hipsters hate brown guys and feel that they dont deserve to earn money in our country.
tekende
+5 -0
I don't you think you have correct ideas about hipsters. Hipsters are not Minutemen.
I don't you think you have correct ideas about hipsters. Hipsters are not Minutemen.
telescreen
+2 -0
Yes, but just imagine a dude wandering the border with an M16, Army surplus camo, and an ironic handlebar mustache!
It totally works both was an you could even have im drinkin a PBR.
Yes, but just imagine a dude wandering the border with an M16, Army surplus camo, and an ironic handlebar mustache!
It totally works both was an you could even have im drinkin a PBR.
tekende
+5 -0
What happened to you in between those two sentences? It's like you suddenly forgot how to spell and use grammar.
What happened to you in between those two sentences? It's like you suddenly forgot how to spell and use grammar.
gladi8orrex
+12 -0
That both frightens and alarms me. how can someone write two reasonable sentences and then turn into an octopuss with an opinion and a bunch of free time.
makas me wonder suntines, lol im 2 am dlink a pbc fyi
That both frightens and alarms me. how can someone write two reasonable sentences and then turn into an octopuss with an opinion and a bunch of free time.
makas me wonder suntines, lol im 2 am dlink a pbc fyi
mawk
+11 -0
When gladi8orrex woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into an octopus with an opinion and a bunch of free time.
When gladi8orrex woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into an octopus with an opinion and a bunch of free time.
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
Chubbied for existential tragedy.
Chubbied for existential tragedy.
belgand
+0 -0
All tragedy is existential, and vice-versa.
Hella beret chubby, yo. *snapsnapsnap*
All tragedy is existential, and vice-versa.
Hella beret chubby, yo. *snapsnapsnap*
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
PBR is not an excuse. I would have to drink more PBR than is available in the world at any given time to explain spelling mistakes.
PBR is not an excuse. I would have to drink more PBR than is available in the world at any given time to explain spelling mistakes.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Quote:
A-ha!
Quote:
It's spelled epiph a ny.
Actually, your spelling is quite good - I had to go back two years to find a mistake.
Quote:
I would have to drink more PBR than is available in the world at any given time to explain spelling mistakes.
A-ha!
Quote:
Ah yes, I had the same epiphony about 1-2 yrs. ago . . .
It's spelled epiph a ny.
Actually, your spelling is quite good - I had to go back two years to find a mistake.
rowboat
+0 -0
Damn! Since you're obviously unemployed, how long has it been since my last spelling error?
I'll wait.
[Please note that if you don't turn this into some kind of offensive or hurtful joke, I'll be very disappointed in you.]
Damn! Since you're obviously unemployed, how long has it been since my last spelling error?
I'll wait.
[Please note that if you don't turn this into some kind of offensive or hurtful joke, I'll be very disappointed in you.]
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
For you, not a spelling error, but a glaring bout of hubris:
Quote:
You're not even in the first 100: [url=https://lmgtfy.com/?q=%22Perry Bible Fellowship%22 site%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fm.assetbar.com%2Fachewood]To Wit[/url]
For you, not a spelling error, but a glaring bout of hubris:
Quote:
It makes me ashamed of assetbar that I'm the first person to mention Perry Bible Fellowship.
You're not even in the first 100: [url=https://lmgtfy.com/?q=%22Perry Bible Fellowship%22 site%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fm.assetbar.com%2Fachewood]To Wit[/url]
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Link fucked up by assetbar, but cut and paste for proof.
btw, I am employed - I'm just a bad employee.
Link fucked up by assetbar, but cut and paste for proof.
btw, I am employed - I'm just a bad employee.
rowboat
+0 -0
I was the first to mention it in that thread. That's all I meant. Context!
And I'm glad to know that we're both getting paid to do something that neither of us are doing. It's our little secret.
I was the first to mention it in that thread. That's all I meant. Context!
And I'm glad to know that we're both getting paid to do something that neither of us are doing. It's our little secret.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I bill at $250/hour -- now I just need to find a client to bill this time to.
I bill at $250/hour -- now I just need to find a client to bill this time to.
telescreen
+0 -0
I worked in a legal office once and billed $50 dollars an hour (to the client for the office as I got paid nowhere near that) and I remember many a time that somebody paid 50 dollars for my assetbar binge and nothing else.
I worked in a legal office once and billed $50 dollars an hour (to the client for the office as I got paid nowhere near that) and I remember many a time that somebody paid 50 dollars for my assetbar binge and nothing else.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
You can put it on my bill, or his!
[IMGS OFF]
(this joke works on a couple layers, my avatar is a Porygon2 which resembles a duck, and Groucho Marx had a stylized duck associate on the hit television program, " You Bet Your Life ")
You can put it on my bill, or his!
[IMGS OFF]
(this joke works on a couple layers, my avatar is a Porygon2 which resembles a duck, and Groucho Marx had a stylized duck associate on the hit television program, " You Bet Your Life ")
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Dude, ease up. I had a couple of epiphones myself back in the day. Very decent axen. He coulda had a knockoff
Dude, ease up. I had a couple of epiphones myself back in the day. Very decent axen. He coulda had a knockoff
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
That must be it. I have an Epiphone, myself.
That must be it. I have an Epiphone, myself.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
I have a Caliphone, but the needle is broken.
I have a Caliphone, but the needle is broken.
stereo
+0 -0
I gotta be honest, I hate that sort of thing. "Epiphone" and "Beatles". Why must they flout the English language?
I gotta be honest, I hate that sort of thing. "Epiphone" and "Beatles". Why must they flout the English language?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Oh, I'm sure there's plenty of typos more recent than that. In fact, I would assume that most of my typos could be considered extremely recent.
But I meant that the only amount of PBR that would cause me to blame the spelling mistake on the PBR would be equal to one (1) world-ful.
If you really did go back through my comments, you would no doubt know the amount of times I've posted under the influence of other alcoholic beverages (scotch, bourbon, gin, vodka, beers that aren't PBR). Sadly, spelling mistakes would be preferred to what I normally post in these situations (e.g. married women and how I might feel about one of them), but they often garner at least a few chubbies.
My drunken pain is assetbar's gain.
Oh, I'm sure there's plenty of typos more recent than that. In fact, I would assume that most of my typos could be considered extremely recent.
But I meant that the only amount of PBR that would cause me to blame the spelling mistake on the PBR would be equal to one (1) world-ful.
If you really did go back through my comments, you would no doubt know the amount of times I've posted under the influence of other alcoholic beverages (scotch, bourbon, gin, vodka, beers that aren't PBR). Sadly, spelling mistakes would be preferred to what I normally post in these situations (e.g. married women and how I might feel about one of them), but they often garner at least a few chubbies.
My drunken pain is assetbar's gain.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Heh...no, though.
Heh...no, though.
telescreen
+0 -0
I think you answered your own qeuschen.
I think you answered your own qeuschen.
awksedperl
+0 -0
What happened to telescreen in between those two sentences? Many, many , PBRs, that's what.
What happened to telescreen in between those two sentences? Many, many , PBRs, that's what.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i dont think you understood that it was a pretend idea.
i dont think you understood that it was a pretend idea.
soup_alex
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
?
[IMGS OFF]
?
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
Those guys are fucking corn dogs.
Those guys are fucking corn dogs.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
That's quite a history lesson.
That's quite a history lesson.
soup_alex
+2 -0
I must look like a dork!
I must look like a dork!
smallberries
+0 -0
Tub has to be properly caulked prior to any showering.
Tub has to be properly caulked prior to any showering.
awksedperl
+0 -0
When did Tiger Woods ever play bass?
When did Tiger Woods ever play bass?
mockereo
+2 -0
did you just say that because he was a lighter-skinned african-american you RACIAL PROFILER
did you just say that because he was a lighter-skinned african-american you RACIAL PROFILER
awksedperl
+10 -0
Hmm, how am I going to get out of this one. Let's try these methods:
1) Flatter: I just said it because the guy looks like Tiger, only much more handsome.
2) Association: some of my best friends are Tiger Woods.
Deflection and ad hominem:
3) Oh sure, the guy with a polar bear on a white background calls me a racial profiler.
Whew, that was close.
Hmm, how am I going to get out of this one. Let's try these methods:
1) Flatter: I just said it because the guy looks like Tiger, only much more handsome.
2) Association: some of my best friends are Tiger Woods.
Deflection and ad hominem:
3) Oh sure, the guy with a polar bear on a white background calls me a racial profiler.
Whew, that was close.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Save it for the cross-burning, Adolf.
Save it for the cross-burning, Adolf.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
No, but they DO own Double Nickels on the Dime...
No, but they DO own Double Nickels on the Dime...
soup_alex
+0 -0
To be fair, it is probably their best LP. Double LP. Whatever.
It doesn't seem as though UK hipsters are as aware of the Minutemen as their transatlantic bretheren might be, although having never knowingly inspected a hipster's record collection, this would be a guess based purely on superficial factors (albeit an almost entirely accurate guess, given that hipsters are composed of nearly 100% superficial atoms).
Further speculation: The record collection of the average UK hipster contains:
Let It Be (12"! Gasp!) snatched from parents' attic
Perhaps one other "random" vinyl LP or 45 picked up from an ill-advised foray to BHF or Oxfam
Any/all of the following: Arctic Monkeys, Babyshambles, that other terrible Doherty band, and whatever indie disco/electro pop is currently flavour of the month.
Everything else stored as .mp3 on a MacBook.
Record player wholly optional; if one exists, it is just about as functionally useful as its non-existant parallel.
To be fair, it is probably their best LP. Double LP. Whatever.
It doesn't seem as though UK hipsters are as aware of the Minutemen as their transatlantic bretheren might be, although having never knowingly inspected a hipster's record collection, this would be a guess based purely on superficial factors (albeit an almost entirely accurate guess, given that hipsters are composed of nearly 100% superficial atoms).
Further speculation: The record collection of the average UK hipster contains:
Let It Be (12"! Gasp!) snatched from parents' attic
Perhaps one other "random" vinyl LP or 45 picked up from an ill-advised foray to BHF or Oxfam
Any/all of the following: Arctic Monkeys, Babyshambles, that other terrible Doherty band, and whatever indie disco/electro pop is currently flavour of the month.
Everything else stored as .mp3 on a MacBook.
Record player wholly optional; if one exists, it is just about as functionally useful as its non-existant parallel.
awksedperl
+0 -0
Does anyone out there like "3-Way Tie For Last" as much as I do?
Does anyone out there like "3-Way Tie For Last" as much as I do?
soup_alex
+0 -0
That depends largely on how much you like 3-Way Tie for Last.
(Of Double Nickels... , The Punch Line , and Buzz or Howl Under the Influence of Heat , my personal favourite is definitely Buzz... )
That depends largely on how much you like 3-Way Tie for Last.
(Of Double Nickels... , The Punch Line , and Buzz or Howl Under the Influence of Heat , my personal favourite is definitely Buzz... )
awksedperl
+0 -0
I like it muchly. Does that help?
I like it muchly. Does that help?
smallberries
+0 -0
I absolutely disagree. Overheard coffee shop hipsters all "mumble mumble Animal Collective blah blah Beirut mumble Vampire Weekend" ad nauseum. Hipsters don't know stuff that isn't the current CMJ top 40.
I absolutely disagree. Overheard coffee shop hipsters all "mumble mumble Animal Collective blah blah Beirut mumble Vampire Weekend" ad nauseum. Hipsters don't know stuff that isn't the current CMJ top 40.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I am a person who exists within the UK and is currently checking out the new Vampire Weekend album on Spotify, I take umbrage to all of this rampant speculation.
(I mean it's not like I even know what CMJ is.)
I am a person who exists within the UK and is currently checking out the new Vampire Weekend album on Spotify, I take umbrage to all of this rampant speculation.
(I mean it's not like I even know what CMJ is.)
rowboat
+0 -0
It don't matter what you listen to. It's how you dress.
It don't matter what you listen to. It's how you dress.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Right now I am saying Fuck You to February with a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
Haters gon' hate.
Right now I am saying Fuck You to February with a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
Haters gon' hate.
belgand
+5 -0
The Mexican man selling you tomatoes from his pickup at the farmer's market does not farm organically and could never be convinced to. He does, however, own a family farm as his children laboring at the stand (and longing to get away from this arduous, hellishly rural life) clearly attest to.
At the same time the girl at the next stall has a Masters in Pre-Colonial Feminist Fiction from Mt. Holyoke and bought her small organic farm with the inheritance from her father as a means of repurposing the profits of patriarchal land-rape into sustainable agrarianism.
This is the real dilemma.
The Mexican man selling you tomatoes from his pickup at the farmer's market does not farm organically and could never be convinced to. He does, however, own a family farm as his children laboring at the stand (and longing to get away from this arduous, hellishly rural life) clearly attest to.
At the same time the girl at the next stall has a Masters in Pre-Colonial Feminist Fiction from Mt. Holyoke and bought her small organic farm with the inheritance from her father as a means of repurposing the profits of patriarchal land-rape into sustainable agrarianism.
This is the real dilemma.
awksedperl
+0 -0
Down with pseudo-feminist poseur dilettante running dog farmers of the phallocracy*!
*commas are tools of the oppressor, and are to be spurned. Oh dammit.
Down with pseudo-feminist poseur dilettante running dog farmers of the phallocracy*!
*commas are tools of the oppressor, and are to be spurned. Oh dammit.
rearadmiral
+0 -0
holy shit you must have actually talked to Mt. Holyoke alumni..
and possibly worn their massive boots.
holy shit you must have actually talked to Mt. Holyoke alumni..
and possibly worn their massive boots.
wazza
+0 -0
Is the girl at the next stall hot?
dilemma solved!
Is the girl at the next stall hot?
dilemma solved!
belgand
+1 -0
Yes, but she probably has hygiene practices that would render this point inadvisable to pursue. Also, her boyfriend is a loser of a caliber that you cannot possibly attempt to achieve. I don't care if you do play Ultimate professionally this guy is worse than you and that is what she is attracted to.
50:50 chance whether she thinks that all sex is rape or is actually wild, amazing, and almost constantly horny.
Yes, but she probably has hygiene practices that would render this point inadvisable to pursue. Also, her boyfriend is a loser of a caliber that you cannot possibly attempt to achieve. I don't care if you do play Ultimate professionally this guy is worse than you and that is what she is attracted to.
50:50 chance whether she thinks that all sex is rape or is actually wild, amazing, and almost constantly horny.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I don't think those are mutually exclusive
I don't think those are mutually exclusive
wazza
+0 -0
that is a chance that I am prepared to take.
I have a whole month right now where I don't have to do anything. At all. The government is giving me money to hang around for a month. Am I enough of a loser?
that is a chance that I am prepared to take.
I have a whole month right now where I don't have to do anything. At all. The government is giving me money to hang around for a month. Am I enough of a loser?
mawk
+1 -0
sounds more like you're a senator.
new in 2010: political satire!
sounds more like you're a senator.
new in 2010: political satire!
jeffspaulding
+5 -0
John Edwards: political satyr
John Edwards: political satyr
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Model 1913-Cavalry: Patton Saber
[IMGS OFF]
Model 1913-Cavalry: Patton Saber
[IMGS OFF]
mr-siegal
+0 -0
If you're a rugby player we'd probably pay you to come here for 6 months.....and you'd get to beat up a few aussies for free!
If you're a rugby player we'd probably pay you to come here for 6 months.....and you'd get to beat up a few aussies for free!
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, thank God. My uncontrollably violent hatred for people from Australia was about to break the bank!
Oh, thank God. My uncontrollably violent hatred for people from Australia was about to break the bank!
redmange
+0 -0
Hello? Hello?! Put me through to R. J. Tuttlewhucker Cottonlynch III
Hello? Hello?! Put me through to R. J. Tuttlewhucker Cottonlynch III
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Operator? J. W. Menelaus Pinkerton-Smythworthy Jr. at once!
Operator? J. W. Menelaus Pinkerton-Smythworthy Jr. at once!
aperson
+0 -0
I'm pleased that there's no huge funny name thread dangling off of here.
I'm pleased that there's no huge funny name thread dangling off of here.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm glad too; I kind of just wanted to bang one out and leave it at that. A lesser class of internetters would've followed suit after two or three. For the record I'm on the cusp of the lesser class.
I'm glad too; I kind of just wanted to bang one out and leave it at that. A lesser class of internetters would've followed suit after two or three. For the record I'm on the cusp of the lesser class.
redmange
+0 -0
Would you prefer me to write a small essay on the life and times of RJTC the 3rd, to give my joke more depth? Critics these days. No appreciation.
Would you prefer me to write a small essay on the life and times of RJTC the 3rd, to give my joke more depth? Critics these days. No appreciation.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
::jabs finger into own chest:: "LESSER CLASS."
::jabs finger into own chest:: "LESSER CLASS."
wazza
+0 -0
I'm sure there's a drinking game in this, for those of you for whom the Texas telephone operators are a local call.
I'm sure there's a drinking game in this, for those of you for whom the Texas telephone operators are a local call.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I try to think on aisle Brain as much as possible.
I try to think on aisle Brain as much as possible.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Walmart shoppers, there's no waiting on aisle Brain.
I don't know what that means
Walmart shoppers, there's no waiting on aisle Brain.
I don't know what that means
mockereo
+0 -0
When i heard "aisle brain" i thought "cleanup on aisle brain" but then i realized that sounds like its after a pretty messy suicide
When i heard "aisle brain" i thought "cleanup on aisle brain" but then i realized that sounds like its after a pretty messy suicide
mawk
+0 -0
a messy suicide in a pretty amazing aisle, nonetheless.
a messy suicide in a pretty amazing aisle, nonetheless.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
A pretty amazing suicide?
A pretty amazing suicide?
jeffspaulding
+5 -0
Yes, but you can only do it once.
[IMGS OFF]
Yes, but you can only do it once.
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Heheh! Classic Daffy.
Heheh! Classic Daffy.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also if I remember correctly he won the magician competition with Bugs because of that amazing suicide, so let's say the good outweighs the bad.
Also if I remember correctly he won the magician competition with Bugs because of that amazing suicide, so let's say the good outweighs the bad.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
See the full clip Here
Yes, in 1957 it was fun to see your favorite cartoon characters commit suicide.
See the full clip Here
Yes, in 1957 it was fun to see your favorite cartoon characters commit suicide.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
'57: Rocking Rough Chuckles with Friz Freleng.
My stupid obsession with details tells me that that's a pretty late "Looney Tunes" short. Like even past the Mugsy shorts.
'57: Rocking Rough Chuckles with Friz Freleng.
My stupid obsession with details tells me that that's a pretty late "Looney Tunes" short. Like even past the Mugsy shorts.
belgand
+0 -0
Bah, it could still be fun to see my favorite human actors commit an astounding act of suicide. David Lynch, Christopher Walken, David Cronenberg, Steve Buscemi... these guys would bring a suicide that you'd never forget.
Terry Gilliam regrets that his suicide is no longer on schedule and has run well over budget. Johhny Depp was supposed to appear as his kaishakunin, but has now been forced to bow out due to a previous commitment.
Bah, it could still be fun to see my favorite human actors commit an astounding act of suicide. David Lynch, Christopher Walken, David Cronenberg, Steve Buscemi... these guys would bring a suicide that you'd never forget.
Terry Gilliam regrets that his suicide is no longer on schedule and has run well over budget. Johhny Depp was supposed to appear as his kaishakunin, but has now been forced to bow out due to a previous commitment.
soup_alex
+0 -0
I always loved that browny-greeny-gold colour that was used to portray gas. I remember it most vividly in The Flying Bear (actually an MGM cartoon, whoops).
I always loved that browny-greeny-gold colour that was used to portray gas. I remember it most vividly in The Flying Bear (actually an MGM cartoon, whoops).
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
im going to try and replace hipster with "cutie-ass urban hillbilly" in my personal vocabulary. yet another turn of phrase from ontrad that gives my soul a raging hard-on.
im going to try and replace hipster with "cutie-ass urban hillbilly" in my personal vocabulary. yet another turn of phrase from ontrad that gives my soul a raging hard-on.
odog
+0 -0
A long time ago in a middle school science fair one of my friends grew plants in different rooms with different genres of music playing nonstop. He found that it actually makes a difference. Classical was the best for making small flowers grow, and rap was the worst.
Of course, like any middle school science fair experiment, it was designed horribly. There were several variables he didn't control, such as sunlight, humidity, and et cetera.
A long time ago in a middle school science fair one of my friends grew plants in different rooms with different genres of music playing nonstop. He found that it actually makes a difference. Classical was the best for making small flowers grow, and rap was the worst.
Of course, like any middle school science fair experiment, it was designed horribly. There were several variables he didn't control, such as sunlight, humidity, and et cetera.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Classical has, apparently, shown to be helpful to plant growth in a number of studies, most of which list hip hop or heavy metal as the worst.
However, I think at least one Scandinavian study has found the opposite, that plants love them some Pantera.
I suspect it has something to do with what sort of music the researchers like or consider worthy.
Classical has, apparently, shown to be helpful to plant growth in a number of studies, most of which list hip hop or heavy metal as the worst.
However, I think at least one Scandinavian study has found the opposite, that plants love them some Pantera.
I suspect it has something to do with what sort of music the researchers like or consider worthy.
belgand
+0 -0
It would appear that perhaps deep bass may have an effect on plant growth in some manner, but I doubt anyone actually bothered to look at any legitimate reasons to explain their findings.
It would appear that perhaps deep bass may have an effect on plant growth in some manner, but I doubt anyone actually bothered to look at any legitimate reasons to explain their findings.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I think it's pretty intuitive that the less intense the music, the better. Volume tests with the same music, I assume, would probably prove it. But I'm an English major, what do I know.
I think it's pretty intuitive that the less intense the music, the better. Volume tests with the same music, I assume, would probably prove it. But I'm an English major, what do I know.
belgand
+0 -0
Not enough to know better than to major in English, obviously.
Not enough to know better than to major in English, obviously.
awko
+0 -0
Buuuurrn.
Buuuurrn.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was gonna say that AHAHAHA.
But let's get serious here. I'm happy with my major and would not have been as happy with any other. So fuck you, resident eternal pessimist. You can't kill my dreams. Only the real world can do that.
I was gonna say that AHAHAHA.
But let's get serious here. I'm happy with my major and would not have been as happy with any other. So fuck you, resident eternal pessimist. You can't kill my dreams. Only the real world can do that.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Don't worry. It will.
Don't worry. It will.
soup_alex
+0 -0
noooooooooooooooooooo
noooooooooooooooooooo
cracklewater
+0 -0
Quote:
Lyle has many skills. And hammers.
KAK!
Quote:
You can't kill my dreams. Only the real world can do that.
Lyle has many skills. And hammers.
KAK!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But I'm only twenty!
But I'm only twenty!
cracklewater
+0 -0
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I had a look at your profile and almost mentioned that you had another decade or so, but it would probably have sounded resentful, however I'd phrased it.
You young FUCK !
(see?)
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I had a look at your profile and almost mentioned that you had another decade or so, but it would probably have sounded resentful, however I'd phrased it.
You young FUCK !
(see?)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't mind being twenty; my soul isn't completely crushed yet and old people envy youth. It's good for your ego knowing someone is jealous of you, and not just most of Africa and Southeast Asia.
I don't mind being twenty; my soul isn't completely crushed yet and old people envy youth. It's good for your ego knowing someone is jealous of you, and not just most of Africa and Southeast Asia.
rowboat
+0 -0
Believe it or not, I wouldn't go back if I could. Ask me again when I'm forty.
Believe it or not, I wouldn't go back if I could. Ask me again when I'm forty.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That was my attitude at 40 and it will be at 60.
Jesus, 20, the angst, the Ignorance
The ride, she keeps getting smoother.
That was my attitude at 40 and it will be at 60.
Jesus, 20, the angst, the Ignorance
The ride, she keeps getting smoother.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, I imagine that when I'm forty I'll probably wish I was thirty. Things are pretty sweet now that I have it all figured out.
Yeah, but twenty - no. Never. What a dumb age.
Well, I imagine that when I'm forty I'll probably wish I was thirty. Things are pretty sweet now that I have it all figured out.
Yeah, but twenty - no. Never. What a dumb age.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I feel like if I was 17 and you said that I would resent it but I can't, really. I am pretty dumb.
I feel like if I was 17 and you said that I would resent it but I can't, really. I am pretty dumb.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm not saying you're dumb. But that is a dumb age.
I'm not saying you're dumb. But that is a dumb age.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Listen: I am pretty dumb. Not as dumb as most people, but I have some dumbness. It's nature.
Listen: I am pretty dumb. Not as dumb as most people, but I have some dumbness. It's nature.
rowboat
+0 -0
Wait till you're thirty. You'll be a fuckin' genius. Guaranteed.
Wait till you're thirty. You'll be a fuckin' genius. Guaranteed.
belgand
+1 -0
It has been my experience that you continue to marvel at how astoundingly fucking dumb you were when you were younger. When I was twenty I was amazed at some of the dumb moves I pulled when I was seventeen and at twenty-five I was incapable of understanding why I did such idiotic things at twenty.
Realizing that this is a continual cycle and that you are just as fucking dumb right now, that you will look back on this and curse yourself from the future, is what we really mean by wisdom.
I have the maturity and insight to regret typing this even as I do so.
It has been my experience that you continue to marvel at how astoundingly fucking dumb you were when you were younger. When I was twenty I was amazed at some of the dumb moves I pulled when I was seventeen and at twenty-five I was incapable of understanding why I did such idiotic things at twenty.
Realizing that this is a continual cycle and that you are just as fucking dumb right now, that you will look back on this and curse yourself from the future, is what we really mean by wisdom.
I have the maturity and insight to regret typing this even as I do so.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What if you do absolutely nothing at certain ages? Do you just regret the nothingness? I think I can marvel at my present self in this regard.
What if you do absolutely nothing at certain ages? Do you just regret the nothingness? I think I can marvel at my present self in this regard.
catgrl131
+0 -0
What I've found to be true (through my limited experience), is that dumb has no age. For every punk-ass kid, there is an adult of equal neck-wringing vapidity. Same with awesomeness. There are rad people on both sides of the equation, and there are likewise, on both sides, people who increase the levels of worldsuck just by existing. The worst thing to do is to regret stupid things and blame them on youth. The truly wise can do stupid shit, and ENJOY IT.
Anyway, that's my tuppence.
What I've found to be true (through my limited experience), is that dumb has no age. For every punk-ass kid, there is an adult of equal neck-wringing vapidity. Same with awesomeness. There are rad people on both sides of the equation, and there are likewise, on both sides, people who increase the levels of worldsuck just by existing. The worst thing to do is to regret stupid things and blame them on youth. The truly wise can do stupid shit, and ENJOY IT.
Anyway, that's my tuppence.
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, I'm not trying to generalize. All I know is that I was a moron at twenty. I mean, I was decent to folks. I wasn't bad. Just not too bright.
Oh, I'm not trying to generalize. All I know is that I was a moron at twenty. I mean, I was decent to folks. I wasn't bad. Just not too bright.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Man, I have that 'look back in embarrassment' thing for shit I did last month, let alone when I was 20.
It's a neverending cycle, but if it was based on reality, I should be much smarter and more capable by this stage...
Man, I have that 'look back in embarrassment' thing for shit I did last month, let alone when I was 20.
It's a neverending cycle, but if it was based on reality, I should be much smarter and more capable by this stage...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I might get dumber, at this rate.
I might get dumber, at this rate.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
FUCK ANGST.
FUCK ANGST.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Watching this exchange go back and forth between a young Salinger and a man who complains that all his friends are dead is just... just a little too perfect.
Watching this exchange go back and forth between a young Salinger and a man who complains that all his friends are dead is just... just a little too perfect.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It's a welcome change of pace/avicon for me. Being a chicken-abusing cat for a few years is great, but nothing packs a punch like a black and white picture of a famous person.
It's a welcome change of pace/avicon for me. Being a chicken-abusing cat for a few years is great, but nothing packs a punch like a black and white picture of a famous person.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Who's complaining? They were all freeloaders anyway....
Sorry, Mark, that's just a cheap chuckle, and in no way true. R.I.P., bro.
Who's complaining? They were all freeloaders anyway....
Sorry, Mark, that's just a cheap chuckle, and in no way true. R.I.P., bro.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
[,,,]
[,,,]
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
How is that intuitive? If plants grown with music playing grow faster than those in silence, then it would be logical to assume that the louder the music the faster the growth. I'm not saying that it would be true, but it would be a reasonable assumption to go on until further evidence presented itself.
How is that intuitive? If plants grown with music playing grow faster than those in silence, then it would be logical to assume that the louder the music the faster the growth. I'm not saying that it would be true, but it would be a reasonable assumption to go on until further evidence presented itself.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm just saying, the more intense music harms it and the softer music doesn't. When they say classical, I'm not sure if they mean actually Classical or just "old piano and violin stuff." Either way, nothing produced before the mid 20th century can compare in terms of intensity except maybe, I don't know, The Rite of Spring or New World, which aren't classical anyway. Regardless, the more intense music harms it, the softer helps it, so wouldn't silence at least be better than intense music? That's why it seems intuitive to me.
I'm just saying, the more intense music harms it and the softer music doesn't. When they say classical, I'm not sure if they mean actually Classical or just "old piano and violin stuff." Either way, nothing produced before the mid 20th century can compare in terms of intensity except maybe, I don't know, The Rite of Spring or New World, which aren't classical anyway. Regardless, the more intense music harms it, the softer helps it, so wouldn't silence at least be better than intense music? That's why it seems intuitive to me.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Yes, that's the question: are we talking about the effects of music specifically, or sound in general? One could hypothesize any number of explanations for the latter, but I for one can think of none for the former.
Yes, that's the question: are we talking about the effects of music specifically, or sound in general? One could hypothesize any number of explanations for the latter, but I for one can think of none for the former.
wazza
+0 -0
Rhythmic sound might have some effect on pumping mechanisms, perhaps, giving music an advantage over white noise.
Rhythmic sound might have some effect on pumping mechanisms, perhaps, giving music an advantage over white noise.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Or pink noise, or blue noise, or brown noise.
Why is this discussion still going on? I thought that we had established that the scientists who conduct experiments to determine which "genres" of music are most beneficial to plant growth, aren't really scientists at all; just losers with too much time wanting to justify their opinion of music.
Or pink noise, or blue noise, or brown noise.
Why is this discussion still going on? I thought that we had established that the scientists who conduct experiments to determine which "genres" of music are most beneficial to plant growth, aren't really scientists at all; just losers with too much time wanting to justify their opinion of music.
belgand
+0 -0
Technically, I'm both.
Technically, I'm both.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Noise and music, or a scientist and a loser?
Noise and music, or a scientist and a loser?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
"Shyeah, like soil matters."
"Shyeah, like soil matters."
odog
+0 -0
Exacto, JD.
Exacto, JD.
belgand
+0 -0
I knew some agronomists in college who got quite upset if you called it "dirt". I'm kind of afraid of anyone who decides to spend their life devoted to soil.
I knew some agronomists in college who got quite upset if you called it "dirt". I'm kind of afraid of anyone who decides to spend their life devoted to soil.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
coprophilia
coprophilia
pygmalion00
+0 -0
As one who is forced to live in Texas against my will, I will say that Ray's idea about our names was based solely from the time he decided to read a Cormack McCarthy novel.
As one who is forced to live in Texas against my will, I will say that Ray's idea about our names was based solely from the time he decided to read a Cormack McCarthy novel.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Are you saying something bad about Texas, friendo?
Are you saying something bad about Texas, friendo?
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Unless your definition of Texas includes the areas directly between Louisiana and Dallas, no. I was simply saying that we don't have as many people here who are named Ona Mae Huggins and Jesse William Brody anymore.
Unless your definition of Texas includes the areas directly between Louisiana and Dallas, no. I was simply saying that we don't have as many people here who are named Ona Mae Huggins and Jesse William Brody anymore.
wazza
+0 -0
and the world is poorer for it
and the world is poorer for it
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I was really going (stretching) on the Cormack McCarthy side. And if you want to see the hillbilly zone, head on down to southeast Texas. If you pass Snyder, say howdy to my inbred relations.
I was really going (stretching) on the Cormack McCarthy side. And if you want to see the hillbilly zone, head on down to southeast Texas. If you pass Snyder, say howdy to my inbred relations.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
I grew up in Houston, so I know exactly what you mean. This is all too common:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gT2ODDWC1Q
I grew up in Houston, so I know exactly what you mean. This is all too common:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gT2ODDWC1Q
miku224
+1 -1
I realize that ultimately it's Onstad's writing that defines the characters, but that name in panel 3 really just strikes me as trying way too hard. For some reason it really sapped a lot of my enthusiasm. The previous strip felt a lot more like authentic Ray than this one.
I realize that ultimately it's Onstad's writing that defines the characters, but that name in panel 3 really just strikes me as trying way too hard. For some reason it really sapped a lot of my enthusiasm. The previous strip felt a lot more like authentic Ray than this one.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I agree with you. I'm not feeling this strip that much. It feels forced to me. Perhaps if it was shorter and more potent.
I agree with you. I'm not feeling this strip that much. It feels forced to me. Perhaps if it was shorter and more potent.
hatstand_mcq
+4 -0
As the actress said the Bishop.
As the actress said the Bishop.
taskmaster
+2 -0
wow. awesome use of the grandfather of "that's what she said". Chubby
wow. awesome use of the grandfather of "that's what she said". Chubby
utv
+0 -0
Eh, eccentric speech was one of the reasons I thought Achewood was so great in the first place, but the past year and a half of this strip has been as much about deciphering as reading.
Eh, eccentric speech was one of the reasons I thought Achewood was so great in the first place, but the past year and a half of this strip has been as much about deciphering as reading.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Also, I don't know if there have been as many quotable phrases in the recent months. It's been a lot about pop culture references and name dropping. There are no names in "Do you think it is rad to have alcoholism"
Also, I don't know if there have been as many quotable phrases in the recent months. It's been a lot about pop culture references and name dropping. There are no names in "Do you think it is rad to have alcoholism"
wazza
+0 -0
you're such a downer.
free-standing asshole
you're such a downer.
free-standing asshole
smilebuddha
+0 -0
"Catholic-strategy falseprophet"? Either an oxymoron, or true, in re: Catholic strategy and false prophets.
Speaking of Catholic strategy, the Jesuits have a saying: "It is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission."
"Catholic-strategy falseprophet"? Either an oxymoron, or true, in re: Catholic strategy and false prophets.
Speaking of Catholic strategy, the Jesuits have a saying: "It is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission."
autrepoupee
+0 -0
the pop culture references get better when you end them with " cha cha ", dennis miller taught me that.
the next morning, he was g o n e . . .
the pop culture references get better when you end them with " cha cha ", dennis miller taught me that.
the next morning, he was g o n e . . .
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I think high school graduation should require the diagramming of sentences found in Achewood.
I think high school graduation should require the diagramming of sentences found in Achewood.
lolsworth
+1 -0
Little known fact: the top Whole Foods guy is a gigantic douchebag.
Little known fact: the top Whole Foods guy is a gigantic douchebag.
belgand
+2 -0
Actually, I believe that's a widely known fact.
Actually, I believe that's a widely known fact.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
Do you think it is rad to want other people's money.
Do you think it is rad to want other people's money.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
the most widely known fact: people who make a lot of money generally are gigantic douchebags, eventually, about something, and not everyone lives in some kind of portland utopia where we can shop at farmer's markets and laugh at the heartland, so let me eat my whole grain puffed millet stars in peace , i accept that everything i buy lines the pockets of some total jag-off
the most widely known fact: people who make a lot of money generally are gigantic douchebags, eventually, about something, and not everyone lives in some kind of portland utopia where we can shop at farmer's markets and laugh at the heartland, so let me eat my whole grain puffed millet stars in peace , i accept that everything i buy lines the pockets of some total jag-off
pmbarrett
+1 -0
So you think it's rad then.
So you think it's rad then.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Correct.
Correct.
jeffspaulding
+3 -0
"Catholic indulgence" means both "universal luxury" and "remission of punishment for sins." Interesting statement on the fact that consumerism is the new religion (in service to ourselves - the new gods).
"Catholic indulgence" means both "universal luxury" and "remission of punishment for sins." Interesting statement on the fact that consumerism is the new religion (in service to ourselves - the new gods).
johnnybaverage
+0 -0
Whoa, man. I mean, man. Whoa.
Whoa, man. I mean, man. Whoa.
mawk
+0 -0
this statement leaves me feeling slightly empty, and will for as long as I lack a flowing Grecian beard.
this statement leaves me feeling slightly empty, and will for as long as I lack a flowing Grecian beard.
achtung
+0 -0
i think i'd like to try to buy organic foods when i have the money just to keep my daughters from hitting puberty at 7. that's just me though
i think i'd like to try to buy organic foods when i have the money just to keep my daughters from hitting puberty at 7. that's just me though
aperson
+0 -0
I'm sure there's a homeopathic remedy you could use instead.
I'm sure there's a homeopathic remedy you could use instead.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Aaah! I just got an unwanted chubby!!
Aaah! I just got an unwanted chubby!!
daidai
+2 -0
...Mom?
...Mom?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's exactly what acthung is afraid will happen to his daughters if he doesn't feed them organic food.
That's exactly what acthung is afraid will happen to his daughters if he doesn't feed them organic food.
aperson
+0 -0
Even an organic potato that's not been instilled with a moral code can be a bad influence.
Even an organic potato that's not been instilled with a moral code can be a bad influence.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
yeah but a potato that's been distilled with no moral code will make you NOT afraid of the fucking police now!
yeah but a potato that's been distilled with no moral code will make you NOT afraid of the fucking police now!
aperson
+1 -0
Assetbar these days? Mostly puns.
Assetbar these days? Mostly puns.
roast_beef
+0 -0
Vodka made from Death Metal potatoes?
Vodka made from Death Metal potatoes?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is worst mashup.
Is worst mashup.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Wrought from worst still.
Wrought from worst still.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
The Cat has become so enraged at the provisions Mogul that a Martini was sacrificed to the crossfire.
The Cat has become so enraged at the provisions Mogul that a Martini was sacrificed to the crossfire.
danbicker
+1 -0
Oh god, Ray is making this a thing. Do not make this a thing, Ray.
Oh god, Ray is making this a thing. Do not make this a thing, Ray.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
you're 3v1 as a half-health taric. coming at you is a yi and a sion, ult is on CD you have flash and ghost. ghost is on CD so is your ult. what do you do?
think
you're 3v1 as a half-health taric. coming at you is a yi and a sion, ult is on CD you have flash and ghost. ghost is on CD so is your ult. what do you do?
think
mawk
+0 -0
I shine.
I shine.
telescreen
+0 -0
This goes for Trader Joe's too.
This goes for Trader Joe's too.
belgand
+0 -0
Nah, everybody knows Trader Joe's is bullshit. Almost everything they sell is prepared foods. It's for lazy people who don't want to cook, but want to pretend that they're the kind of people who actually care about food.
They do, however, actually have pretty good prices on some things.
Nah, everybody knows Trader Joe's is bullshit. Almost everything they sell is prepared foods. It's for lazy people who don't want to cook, but want to pretend that they're the kind of people who actually care about food.
They do, however, actually have pretty good prices on some things.
daidai
+0 -0
Belgand, you better not be hating on the Trader Joes Spiced Chai Latte mix.
Because if you do, I will find you.
Belgand, you better not be hating on the Trader Joes Spiced Chai Latte mix.
Because if you do, I will find you.
daidai
+4 -0
and I will make you try it and you will enjoy it
and I will make you try it and you will enjoy it
daidai
+4 -0
and by "make you try it" I mean kill you
and by "make you try it" I mean kill you
wazza
+0 -0
he will enjoy being killed?
he will enjoy being killed?
daidai
+4 -0
Did I stutter?
Did I stutter?
belgand
+0 -0
Hey, I shop at Trader Joe's for some things. I will, however, have to draw the line at trying any sort of Chai mix. Sorry, but I'm a tea snob and I'm not going to drink any chai concentrate or mix. I fucking love well-made chai.
Hey, I shop at Trader Joe's for some things. I will, however, have to draw the line at trying any sort of Chai mix. Sorry, but I'm a tea snob and I'm not going to drink any chai concentrate or mix. I fucking love well-made chai.
fineoakstructure
+4 -0
Belgand is a _____ snob. It's a general rule in assetbar
Belgand is a _____ snob. It's a general rule in assetbar
telescreen
+0 -0
Trader Joe's has great prices on cheeses, olive oil, some beers, some wines, and their glorious Tomato Soup with Fire Roasted Red Pepper. There is no need to be a snob. I rarely eat prepared food and Trader Joe is my homefellow.
Trader Joe's has great prices on cheeses, olive oil, some beers, some wines, and their glorious Tomato Soup with Fire Roasted Red Pepper. There is no need to be a snob. I rarely eat prepared food and Trader Joe is my homefellow.
plummet
+0 -0
Trader Joe's chicken sausages really tickle my pickle, if you know what I mean.
I also enjoy the sushi they sell there.
Trader Joe's chicken sausages really tickle my pickle, if you know what I mean.
I also enjoy the sushi they sell there.
telescreen
+1 -0
If by tickle your pickle you mean caress your penis then yes I know exactly what you mean.
If by tickle your pickle you mean caress your penis then yes I know exactly what you mean.
plummet
+0 -0
Are you
>implying
That I have had sexual relations with Trader Joe's Chicken Sausages?
Damn, you figured out the secret behind my secret sauce.
Are you
>implying
That I have had sexual relations with Trader Joe's Chicken Sausages?
Damn, you figured out the secret behind my secret sauce.
belgand
+0 -0
Really? I'm more upset by how fucking hard it is to find proper pork sausage. I mean, they barely even carry it. I don't think I've seen a single breakfast establishment nearby that even offers it. Just that bullshit chicken-apple crap.
Really? I'm more upset by how fucking hard it is to find proper pork sausage. I mean, they barely even carry it. I don't think I've seen a single breakfast establishment nearby that even offers it. Just that bullshit chicken-apple crap.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I eat prepared foods with some frequency, and I am snobby about those prepared foods.
Mostly it is just horseradish hummus, though. I had a pesto chicken salad one time from Trader Joe's that I obsessed over days after it was gone. The same thing actually happened with some Whole Food's Indian-inspired chicken salad.
The strangest thing is, had you asked me yesterday if I liked chicken salad, I would've definitely said no. Assetbar has brought up cold salad demons I thought I had long suppressed.
I eat prepared foods with some frequency, and I am snobby about those prepared foods.
Mostly it is just horseradish hummus, though. I had a pesto chicken salad one time from Trader Joe's that I obsessed over days after it was gone. The same thing actually happened with some Whole Food's Indian-inspired chicken salad.
The strangest thing is, had you asked me yesterday if I liked chicken salad, I would've definitely said no. Assetbar has brought up cold salad demons I thought I had long suppressed.
rowboat
+0 -0
I had some Trader Joe's risotto yesterday that pretty much blew away any expensive risotto dish I'd ever ordered at any nice restaurant.
Then again, I was raised on Big Macs and Slurpees.
I had some Trader Joe's risotto yesterday that pretty much blew away any expensive risotto dish I'd ever ordered at any nice restaurant.
Then again, I was raised on Big Macs and Slurpees.
belgand
+0 -0
I have a carton of that soup on my shelf and some of their cheese in my fridge. No, it's not the good stuff from the cheese shop up the street, but it's fairly decent for the price.
I also have a bottle of that cheap olive oil sitting next to the stove as my go-to. Yeah, I can get some amazing locally-grown stuff, but sometimes I just need to saute or marinate something and just want something cheap.
I have a carton of that soup on my shelf and some of their cheese in my fridge. No, it's not the good stuff from the cheese shop up the street, but it's fairly decent for the price.
I also have a bottle of that cheap olive oil sitting next to the stove as my go-to. Yeah, I can get some amazing locally-grown stuff, but sometimes I just need to saute or marinate something and just want something cheap.
telescreen
+0 -0
I finally just read this reply. Your TJ's products and thoughts on the subject are exactly the same as mine. This serves to make your earlier claim that TJ's is bullshit even more mystifying.
I finally just read this reply. Your TJ's products and thoughts on the subject are exactly the same as mine. This serves to make your earlier claim that TJ's is bullshit even more mystifying.
belgand
+0 -0
Eh, I shop there, but the only things they really do well are dairy, pantry items, and prepared foods. Oh and they carry some fairly good packaged bread, but it'll go bad on you within a day or so. I can't count the number of times I've tried to buy pitas there only to find that the expiration date is tomorrow on everything.
Eh, I shop there, but the only things they really do well are dairy, pantry items, and prepared foods. Oh and they carry some fairly good packaged bread, but it'll go bad on you within a day or so. I can't count the number of times I've tried to buy pitas there only to find that the expiration date is tomorrow on everything.
wazza
+1 -0
Belgand is a tease-knob.
Belgand is a tease-knob.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
Ha! Do you hear that belgand? Fineoakstructure called you a bitch. He implies you're the sort of person who spends an evening blind tasting a selection of 14 locally-produced soy-based ice cream substitutes, and writing the results up on your macbook pro. You have a preferred brand of tonic water.
Ha! Do you hear that belgand? Fineoakstructure called you a bitch. He implies you're the sort of person who spends an evening blind tasting a selection of 14 locally-produced soy-based ice cream substitutes, and writing the results up on your macbook pro. You have a preferred brand of tonic water.
plummet
+0 -0
>Implying
>Implying
belgand
+0 -0
Well, it's largely true.
I'd correct the many specific errors in your assessment, but that's actually kind of the point.
Belgand actually finds people without strong, definite opinions to be astoundingly hard to deal with.
Well, it's largely true.
I'd correct the many specific errors in your assessment, but that's actually kind of the point.
Belgand actually finds people without strong, definite opinions to be astoundingly hard to deal with.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
one time somebody gave belgand a Quarter Pounder, but he scoffed, hoisted himself by his own suspenders, and said he only eats Royales With Cheese as prepared by artisans.
At the instant of the word 'artisan' he gestured at himself using his thumbs, indicating that he was only willing to eat a minced beef sandwich made with his own two hands.
one time somebody gave belgand a Quarter Pounder, but he scoffed, hoisted himself by his own suspenders, and said he only eats Royales With Cheese as prepared by artisans.
At the instant of the word 'artisan' he gestured at himself using his thumbs, indicating that he was only willing to eat a minced beef sandwich made with his own two hands.
stereo
+0 -0
The minced hands sandwich is difficult to eat, and you only get one try, but Belgand will attempt it for us.
The minced hands sandwich is difficult to eat, and you only get one try, but Belgand will attempt it for us.
achtung
+0 -0
with/from
with/from
thegoblins
+0 -0
No grocery store cheese.
No grocery store cheese.
changuitotuerto
+0 -0
Spitalfield: a local band I used to like in middle school
Spitalfield: a local band I used to like in middle school
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Spitalfields: a market in London which I tend to confuse with Smithfield market (Smithfield being the magical place where pubs open at five in the morning and ox kidney costs fifty pence a pound).
Spitalfields: a market in London which I tend to confuse with Smithfield market (Smithfield being the magical place where pubs open at five in the morning and ox kidney costs fifty pence a pound).
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Spitalfields market in London: used to house a skatepark that I would go to after school in the early 90's.
Spitalfields market in London: used to house a skatepark that I would go to after school in the early 90's.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Spitalfields: I have taken photographs of all sides of many, many buildings and constructs in London, which unfortunately did not include this market.
Spitalfields: I have taken photographs of all sides of many, many buildings and constructs in London, which unfortunately did not include this market.
rowboat
+0 -0
Spitalfields: I fucked her.
Spitalfields: I fucked her.
wingspan
+0 -0
Have you been stopped by the police for taking pictures of buildings? I've heard that's a Thing now in London.
Have you been stopped by the police for taking pictures of buildings? I've heard that's a Thing now in London.
changuitotuerto
+0 -0
Colons: Why didn't you use one?
Colons: Why didn't you use one?
wingspan
+1 -0
You: Fuck.
You: Fuck.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Actually, I was stopped many times, but more often by [insert building name] security guards and Police Community Support Officers (read: "over-zealous and misinformed civilians with little to no training") than actual police. I did once get interviewed by the Met's Counter-Terrorism Unit after having attempted to photograph a building near Victoria which apparently had some significant connection to the Gov't (not that it bore any external signs that would indicate as such). My experience of encounters with the Police was that they were very patient, understanding, and aware that by simply photographing the exterior facades of buildings from public property (i.e. roads and pavements) I was not committing any crimes%u2014at least not when these buildings were not considered for whatever reason to be sensitive or likely targets for terrorist attacks. Security guards would assume the worst of you until convinced otherwise, and the PCSOs, bless them, were only trying to do their jobs.
This was maybe 2-4 years ago now, though, and I no longer live in the capital, so for all I know it may now be illegal to take pictures of buildings at all.
Actually, I was stopped many times, but more often by [insert building name] security guards and Police Community Support Officers (read: "over-zealous and misinformed civilians with little to no training") than actual police. I did once get interviewed by the Met's Counter-Terrorism Unit after having attempted to photograph a building near Victoria which apparently had some significant connection to the Gov't (not that it bore any external signs that would indicate as such). My experience of encounters with the Police was that they were very patient, understanding, and aware that by simply photographing the exterior facades of buildings from public property (i.e. roads and pavements) I was not committing any crimes%u2014at least not when these buildings were not considered for whatever reason to be sensitive or likely targets for terrorist attacks. Security guards would assume the worst of you until convinced otherwise, and the PCSOs, bless them, were only trying to do their jobs.
This was maybe 2-4 years ago now, though, and I no longer live in the capital, so for all I know it may now be illegal to take pictures of buildings at all.
soup_alex
+0 -0
("%u2014" is assetbar-ese for "em dash").
("%u2014" is assetbar-ese for "em dash").
mockereo
+0 -0
hey does it ever get weird to see something that's a pound a pound? cause that seems like it would be weird to me
hey does it ever get weird to see something that's a pound a pound? cause that seems like it would be weird to me
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I saw that once, and it got pretty weird. I don't really want to talk about it.
To be honest, in any butcher's window or costermonger's stall context (which are the only places that still use imperial with any regularity), the price would usually be written "1(pound sign)/lb" so the problem doesn't really arise.
I saw that once, and it got pretty weird. I don't really want to talk about it.
To be honest, in any butcher's window or costermonger's stall context (which are the only places that still use imperial with any regularity), the price would usually be written "1(pound sign)/lb" so the problem doesn't really arise.
wazza
+0 -0
I was under the impression that the currency sign came before the number.
I was under the impression that the currency sign came before the number.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
You are right. What an idiotic boob I am.
You are right. What an idiotic boob I am.
belgand
+0 -0
Soft and riddled with those big veins. By the nipple a single, almost impossibly dark hair grows.
Soft and riddled with those big veins. By the nipple a single, almost impossibly dark hair grows.
soup_alex
+0 -0
BY THE NIPPLE!
BY THE NIPPLE!
achtung
+1 -0
the tip of the nipple opens into a mouth, and says
durr
the tip of the nipple opens into a mouth, and says
durr
kittydragon
+0 -0
I buy the girl.
I buy the girl.
apolloin
+0 -0
Damn, son - do you know how much a corn-fed cutie ass urban hillbilly fetches on the open market these days? That's some expensive tastes right there.
Damn, son - do you know how much a corn-fed cutie ass urban hillbilly fetches on the open market these days? That's some expensive tastes right there.
belgand
+0 -0
Nothing.
This is a trick question because this girl will shun corn as much as humanly possible.
Someone clearly didn't read The Omnivore's Dilemma or watch King Corn. Hipster fail is the worst kind of fail.
Nothing.
This is a trick question because this girl will shun corn as much as humanly possible.
Someone clearly didn't read The Omnivore's Dilemma or watch King Corn. Hipster fail is the worst kind of fail.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You can't shun corn if it's everywhere.
You can't shun corn if it's everywhere.
stereo
+0 -0
That just makes it easier to shun!
Think about it.
That just makes it easier to shun!
Think about it.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Last one I met cost about as much as a Fever Ray CD, an iced double double heavy froth, two quaaludes, and twelve feet of rope. Less than fifty bucks in most markets.
Last one I met cost about as much as a Fever Ray CD, an iced double double heavy froth, two quaaludes, and twelve feet of rope. Less than fifty bucks in most markets.
apolloin
+0 -0
Sounds like you got her at cost. You're working the supply end there, not the demand end.
Sounds like you got her at cost. You're working the supply end there, not the demand end.
scorpio_nadir
+5 -0
Hah! You don't know hedonismbot if you think he doesn't work both ends.
Hah! You don't know hedonismbot if you think he doesn't work both ends.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
damn i'm sorry i wrote that
damn i'm sorry i wrote that
kittydragon
+0 -0
I'm not. I would totally let hedonismbot work both ends if he has that capability.
I'm not. I would totally let hedonismbot work both ends if he has that capability.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
It's been a while since my last hardware upgrade, but I am extremely flexible.
It's been a while since my last hardware upgrade, but I am extremely flexible.
belgand
+0 -0
The mention of quaaludes would appear to indicate that quite some time has passed since this was last initiated.
The mention of quaaludes would appear to indicate that quite some time has passed since this was last initiated.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
I agree that the name was weak, but I still got brought the chuckles. Capped by the alt-text. Hee.
I agree that the name was weak, but I still got brought the chuckles. Capped by the alt-text. Hee.
humanenovocain
+0 -0
The farmers market one block from my apartment mainly sells organic produce, at a little less the price of the supermarket, plus they take food stamps. Is that wrong, buying organic produce with food stamps? Consider I am unemployed (not getting unemployment) I think its fine. No hypocrisy, just good eats.
The farmers market one block from my apartment mainly sells organic produce, at a little less the price of the supermarket, plus they take food stamps. Is that wrong, buying organic produce with food stamps? Consider I am unemployed (not getting unemployment) I think its fine. No hypocrisy, just good eats.
wazza
+0 -0
plus, think of all the extra protein!
plus, think of all the extra protein!
mawk
+0 -0
call up Food Network and see if you can get air time for a no-budget cooking show.
(the "see if you can" is superfluous; Food Network will air a show as long as the host smiles enough.)
call up Food Network and see if you can get air time for a no-budget cooking show.
(the "see if you can" is superfluous; Food Network will air a show as long as the host smiles enough.)
kittydragon
+0 -0
What would you call it? "Food on No Budget?" "Government Eats?"
Not being snarky, btw, I've had to take the food stamps before as well.
What would you call it? "Food on No Budget?" "Government Eats?"
Not being snarky, btw, I've had to take the food stamps before as well.
stereo
+0 -0
FOOD STAMP OF APPROVAL
FOOD STAMP OF APPROVAL
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Been there.
Foodstamps: guaranteed 100% less snark, your full daily requirement of humble pie each and every meal.
Been there.
Foodstamps: guaranteed 100% less snark, your full daily requirement of humble pie each and every meal.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i was raised on the gov't teat. public housing is nice when you dont have any other option, but it feels way good to get your meat/taters/etc with your own effort.
i was raised on the gov't teat. public housing is nice when you dont have any other option, but it feels way good to get your meat/taters/etc with your own effort.
mattylite
+0 -0
Hell no, you have presumably paid into that system, you can use it for what you want, and it is a sad and well-known fact (based anyhow on my observations at the grocery store) that most people on food stamps use it to buy totaly crap.
Hell no, you have presumably paid into that system, you can use it for what you want, and it is a sad and well-known fact (based anyhow on my observations at the grocery store) that most people on food stamps use it to buy totaly crap.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
youre starting to sound like someone from militiagan.
youre starting to sound like someone from militiagan.
cormano
+0 -0
I do not understand panel 7 whatsoever, can someone explain it to me.
What was it that the Whole Foods guy could possibly have said after panel 6 to provoke Ray's response.
I do not understand panel 7 whatsoever, can someone explain it to me.
What was it that the Whole Foods guy could possibly have said after panel 6 to provoke Ray's response.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
"Are you trying to claim that our Sustainable Diversity Representatives don't already visit our suppliers and read their crops the Whole Foods Ethical Customer Pledge once a week? Because that's what we do and claiming otherwise is just a huge waste of everyone's time."
You have to imagine that that the chief guy of wholefoods is a sort of Texan Pat.
"Are you trying to claim that our Sustainable Diversity Representatives don't already visit our suppliers and read their crops the Whole Foods Ethical Customer Pledge once a week? Because that's what we do and claiming otherwise is just a huge waste of everyone's time."
You have to imagine that that the chief guy of wholefoods is a sort of Texan Pat.
semi_retarded
+1 -0
I bet people would pay even more for a potato that they watched grow on it's own Youtube channel.
I bet people would pay even more for a potato that they watched grow on it's own Youtube channel.
jeffspaulding
+3 -0
Youtuber
Youtuber
plummet
+0 -0
Incidentally, the average Youtube commentator has exactly the same intelligence quotient as your average root vegetable
Incidentally, the average Youtube commentator has exactly the same intelligence quotient as your average root vegetable
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Your average Assetbarbican has the intelligence of AT LEAST a head of arugula.
Your average Assetbarbican has the intelligence of AT LEAST a head of arugula.
mawk
+10 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
plummet
+0 -0
A comment left by plummet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by LordPretzel, greatjob, miaou)
A comment left by plummet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by LordPretzel, greatjob, miaou)
mawk
+2 -0
Two bags of arugula. One, mawked to. The other, plummeted. A pretty large succession of indie musicians is watching. Which do you buy? Think.
Two bags of arugula. One, mawked to. The other, plummeted. A pretty large succession of indie musicians is watching. Which do you buy? Think.
plummet
+0 -0
note the cocky eyebrow-raise the Mawked Arugula sports, in merry defiance of societal norms.
note the cocky eyebrow-raise the Mawked Arugula sports, in merry defiance of societal norms.
aperson
+1 -0
Hmmm. well executed animation or half-assed imitation... hard to choose :)
Hmmm. well executed animation or half-assed imitation... hard to choose :)
plummet
+0 -1
well, excuuuuuUUUUUUUUuuuuse me!
well, excuuuuuUUUUUUUUuuuuse me!
thegoblins
+6 -0
avatar-comment sy....FUCK YOU
avatar-comment sy....FUCK YOU
plummet
+0 -0
>FUCK YOU
in your dreams!
>FUCK YOU
in your dreams!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
TG's not the one who's stolen her image and plastered it on this board as well as a bouquet of tasty looking herbiage. I bet you even have her picture on your 'fridge.
TG's not the one who's stolen her image and plastered it on this board as well as a bouquet of tasty looking herbiage. I bet you even have her picture on your 'fridge.
mawk
+0 -0
and in that fridge, I bet you have some arugula.
and in that fridge, I bet you have some arugula.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
and on that arugula, i bet there's a caterpilla.
and on that arugula, i bet there's a caterpilla.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
r
r
mawk
+0 -0
and on that caterpillar, I bet there's a teeny-tiny pair of white-rimmed shades, with rainbows reflected in the lenses.
and on that caterpillar, I bet there's a teeny-tiny pair of white-rimmed shades, with rainbows reflected in the lenses.
plummet
+0 -0
...You lost me.
...You lost me.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
You've been lost in lust for weeks.
You've been lost in lust for weeks.
plummet
+0 -0
I was?!
I was?!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
The victim is always the last to know. Everybody's been talking about it for ages.
The victim is always the last to know. Everybody's been talking about it for ages.
plummet
+0 -0
But I really WAS in OZ! And you were there...and you, and you...
But I really WAS in OZ! And you were there...and you, and you...
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Ssshh, don't make things worse. Australians are notoriously fickle. Eventually you'll find the right one for you.
Ssshh, don't make things worse. Australians are notoriously fickle. Eventually you'll find the right one for you.
stereo
+0 -0
Can I at least keep this Australian Midget Dance Video?
Can I at least keep this Australian Midget Dance Video?
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Is that legal in Australia? I hear they have a thing there.
Is that legal in Australia? I hear they have a thing there.
wingspan
+0 -0
As long as her tits are huge it's ok.
As long as her tits are huge it's ok.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
As long as her tits are huge everything is okay.
Or so I tell myself...
As long as her tits are huge everything is okay.
Or so I tell myself...
soup_alex
+0 -0
I would like to test this theory before forming strong opinions of my own.
All I ask is the chance to prove that her huge tits can't make me happy.
I would like to test this theory before forming strong opinions of my own.
All I ask is the chance to prove that her huge tits can't make me happy.
thegoblins
+0 -0
They won't. But they will bounce for you, till you cry "Tits! Gold-hatted high bouncing tits! I must have you!"
They won't. But they will bounce for you, till you cry "Tits! Gold-hatted high bouncing tits! I must have you!"
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Alright, someone help me out. There's a joke here about rocket scientists. The play on words sort of funny, but also a cultural thing. I can't find it on my own, due to issues.
Alright, someone help me out. There's a joke here about rocket scientists. The play on words sort of funny, but also a cultural thing. I can't find it on my own, due to issues.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Due to a problem?
Due to a problem?
fras
+0 -0
In ten years this will be a documentary account.
In ten years this will be a documentary account.
mawk
+0 -0
2010: In which the Cat did conspire with Executives.
2010: In which the Cat did conspire with Executives.
fras
+0 -0
god that last frame is so freaking true tho.
*shakes fist* ONSTAAAD you evil genius
god that last frame is so freaking true tho.
*shakes fist* ONSTAAAD you evil genius
doppelganger
+0 -0
Well, evil at least.
Well, evil at least.
seikel
+2 -0
I need you, I need you. Two hearts that beat as one.
I need you, I need you. Two hearts that beat as one.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Come on!
Come on!
puguglypress
+0 -0
(come on)
(come on)
capslock_annliv
+0 -0
That song's been in my head since this strip went up. It is a great and terrible thing.
That song's been in my head since this strip went up. It is a great and terrible thing.
mattylite
+0 -0
Did you guys read The Botany of Desire? I didn't, but I saw the movie, and now I am so terrified of "monoculture" foods all I will eat is hard-boiled eggs, Shin-Yum Ramen, steamed kale, and footlong Spicy Italian subs.
Did you guys read The Botany of Desire? I didn't, but I saw the movie, and now I am so terrified of "monoculture" foods all I will eat is hard-boiled eggs, Shin-Yum Ramen, steamed kale, and footlong Spicy Italian subs.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
pretty sure shit peeps sell for u to eat wont kill u* n if it does ur loved ones will get rich off it by way of lawsuit so dont be so fuckin paranoid 'bout shit
**u culd say sum shit'll kill u over time lik salt er some shit but i stipul8 das diff i mena lik instant dat wuld warrant fear/concern
pretty sure shit peeps sell for u to eat wont kill u* n if it does ur loved ones will get rich off it by way of lawsuit so dont be so fuckin paranoid 'bout shit
**u culd say sum shit'll kill u over time lik salt er some shit but i stipul8 das diff i mena lik instant dat wuld warrant fear/concern
stereo
+0 -0
Wait, you eat hard boiled eggs?
Haven't you heard that the egg yolk causes cholesterol poisoning!?
Wait, you eat hard boiled eggs?
Haven't you heard that the egg yolk causes cholesterol poisoning!?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You have to eat the shells too. They reabsorb all toxic additives.
bruk
bruk
You have to eat the shells too. They reabsorb all toxic additives.
bruk
bruk
mattylite
+0 -0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Pfft, forget it, Stereo. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.
Pfft, forget it, Stereo. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Also, high levels of blood cholesterol haven't been proven to cause arterial plaque. The idea that a healthy person of normal weight can reduce their risk of heart disease by altering their diet is pretty shaky.
Also, high levels of blood cholesterol haven't been proven to cause arterial plaque. The idea that a healthy person of normal weight can reduce their risk of heart disease by altering their diet is pretty shaky.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
FUCK IT.
FUCK IT.
belgand
+0 -0
So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?
So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?
dusty
+0 -0
If Ray will investigate interest in the educated potato, do you think he could be convinced to look into the glass onion?
If Ray will investigate interest in the educated potato, do you think he could be convinced to look into the glass onion?
wiliamthepleasr
+0 -0
Why has no one posted a hastily photoshopped picture of a girl sporting James Lipton's face on her forearm?? What is wrong with you people? How do you spend your time?
Why has no one posted a hastily photoshopped picture of a girl sporting James Lipton's face on her forearm?? What is wrong with you people? How do you spend your time?
belgand
+0 -0
The irony takes a lot longer to render than you'd imagine. We'll have it ready by next week.
The irony takes a lot longer to render than you'd imagine. We'll have it ready by next week.
Now THIS is a well thought out phone call...
Is....is this an allegory for the iPad?
Congratulation! Have a seven dollar potato.
Why not a £7 potato? It would feed a lot more people.
w-what is that symbol? i-it could be anything ! w-what does this comment mean? HELP ME!
If I ever see a polar bear doing that I'll know it's just confused about a mangled Assetbar post. "What could it mean ? ... #7 potatoes aren't even that big..." *trudge trudge ponder*
Maybe it said "Series 7"
[IMGS OFF]
Maybe it said "MACH 7" (turbo with micropulses?)
[IMGS OFF]
well fuck me. that butcher job only had six blades.
I ... I'm sorry guys.
Six and a half, sort of.
By the way, that messed up character apparently just means conversion screwed up and it could have been anything. :(
It might have one on the back...
OH of course the precision trimmer for those tricky spots! the comfort of seven blade on a potato, the precision of one blade stuck on a potato, the best peel ever
(in manual or battery powered)
Arbeit mach fries ?
Yes, that was horrible. Yes, I'm going to hell.
[IMGS OFF]
There's no pun for this one, I just thought it was funny and potato-related.
Is that so wrong?
Has she shaved her special area recently? Did she use the aforementioned potato peeler? What kind of car does she drive?
More importantly, why does she have no head, arms or legs and yet have the ability to stand? Answers, people, please!
NOOOOOOOOOO. Oh well, its not like the pund is wirth anything anyway.
In the next strip, people complain that the potato has no forward-facing camera.
What about before that?!
FUCK IT! Ray allways follow a strict logic with his ideas! In the true epistemologygist sense of the word!