If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Hey, you're the best! Friday, January 25, 2002 • read strip Viewing 64 comments:

Does Teodor shave his rad chilies?

A comment left by centipede_damascus was marked as spam and excluded. centipede_damascus: What a douche. (reported by GeyserShitdick, Magb, heatbag)

bear wieners are funny wieners

oh, i didn't even notice that at first. geez. why was patdong so controversial, then?

A comment left by chaesar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, twohundredninety, goocifer, GoriasXY, VictoriaW)

i rather feel it was because boners are different from dongs.

A comment left by philosophe was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by anticitizen, clancine, Sprog, Magb, Zem, motts, I_Love_Kate, Appers)

because Pat's was a raging hard on while T�o's was just pure nudity to piss Lyle off.

why does lyle care

would you want your room mates unrestrained junk within 3 feet of your head/face?

Hahaha at first I thought you said "headface" which is much funnier so I'm going to continue imagining you did.

it is a woman's prerogative

put on your headface and strap on your legfeet!

Fifth time or more that I've seen this one.

Noticed the bear-pepper just today.

i am epiphany.

Definitely has something to do with the chaps and the sausage links.

I wish I was reading Achewood back when this strip came up. I just wanted to be confronted with this when I was looking forward to my daily strip.

Lyle has the temperment of a young, drunk John Macenrow

so basically, a young John Macenrow?

Are...are you guys talking about John McEnroe?

He really is hung like a cranberry.

That's just stage dick, man. It happens.

only to you

I think you'll find (sadly) that this is the high end of T's 'huge spectrum of engorgement'.

at first i hit "1" then i noticed his unit and corrected it to a "5"

A comment left by overmedicated was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by unsentletter, dreamydeary, Darthemed)

Fuck right off.

Comic strip. Get it?

Alt text "There is always a price for reading Achewood."

so true

There is, though oft-forgotten.

I think my man Teodor is uncircumcised!

he's jewish

He's genetically Jewish, but he refers to his "ancestors" as Jewish rather than his "parents" when referring to his heritage, and he was born in Minsk after the Holocaust but before the fall of the USSR. It's possible that he's circumcised, but I doubt it.

Oh god, I must have seen this strip at least 3 times before, but I had somehow NOT noticed that teodor was naked.

Seconded!

This is the second time I've looked, and I keep having to look again to notice the dong. It's not even a double take -- I just slowly catch on. Deceptive little willie.

Lyle and Teodor's personalities are kind of reversed in this one. Maybe the only reason Lyle is so put off is because he wishes he had thought of doing it first.

You could almost see that as Lyle winding up for a devastating cock-punch...

So, are they not stuffed animals anymore? I don't even want to imagine the kind of sick mind that would create a stuffed bear with a schlong.

what are you kidding? how long have you been on the internet?

I am not some kind of naive prude. I'm not saying I don't believe there is such a thing as a stuffed toy with a dick somewhere on the web. I'm just saying:

Why did you think of that though Onstad

Why would you think of that

I'm just glad he did so I don't have to

Anatomically correct Beanie Babies, Onstad. You hearin' me?
I want 40% of the gross!


40% of the gross.

100% of that idea is gross

Congratulations on the 2007 Ignatz Award Onstad. May may continue to affront us with crudely rendered animal junk into all of our golden years.

All of the old breaking the fourth wall seems so out of place.

I would pay $32 just to know why the fuck people can't shut the hell up about the fourth wall. I would pay that price.


I would pay 28 pence to know why it apparently offends you so much.

i would pay you back tomorrow or a summation today.

The phrase "thanks for reading my comic strip" basically cements the notion that Teodor is Onstad's direct mouthpiece in the strip more than any other character is.

I disagree. Before the advent of Ray, Pat and the Middle Cat, Teodor was the defacto star of the strip.

you're welcome!

There definitely IS a price for reading Achewood.

What a thank you, boy I am going to try this thank you out in the near future, "thanks for the raise" "Thanks for the christmas present" It could work on so many diffrent levels.

If this is how Onstad says "Thank you", I'm going to FIVE it, so I don't have to see "Fuck you!"...

Fun fact: real bears ahve 27-inch red penises with needle-sharp guad hairs.

it is interesting to know that you have such an extensive knowledge of bear penii

i assume you were Smokey's secretary at one point?

Yogi Bear has no concept of professional relationship limits pass it on

(was re: SEXX PICNIC)

27 inches? I'm pretty sure that's not true.

YOURE WELCOME

man teodors linus was huge back in the day

This strip was mainly about wieners and boners

I, too, did not notice bear wiener until today.

pendulous dong comix