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More Frenchin' Tuesday, August 13, 2002 • read strip Viewing 73 comments:

That last panel was why I couldn't keep a girlfriend for more than a few weeks during my freshman year.

A comment left by nutmeg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by spandrelbot, hairymoonstone, Nictusempra)

Yeah, don't dismiss Ray's advice. I've found that most girls respond to you better if you're less "thank you" and more "you're welcome." Confidence is hella sexy.

Very true. I can't imagine anything worse than someone thanking me for a kiss, ugh. Stop that. go back home to your mother.

They could always pull a Nice Pete and draw back, look straight into your eyes, and scream in fury for like eight second straight.

I imagine that'd kill the mood.

Well, at least the screaming shows full-speed-ahead insanity, and then maybe the dude'll turn out to do some interesting shit. I don't think guys understand just how unappealing and pitiful it is to be thanked for basic gestures of affection.

Dudes got hella inadequacy. Sucks to believe you are undeserving of love or compassion.

All I want in a woman is the ability to pound a forty in under thirty seconds and then belch the words "FILL ME UP WITH YOUR LITTLE BABIES."

Done and done.

The supreme irony, of course, is that Roast Beef, arguably the most-liked character in the strip, is exactly the kind of guy neither of you like.

Beef is an awesome character but I think he would be strident to be around in real life.

That sounds like something Beef would probably say. :(

Poor Beef and Beef-like gentlemen.

as a fairly beef-like gentleman, i can attest to how strident it can get.

I really like how heccibiggs basically just told you she would have sex with you and you pretty much just steamrolled her comment.

Psssh, I did not personally see any forty-pounding or belching out desires of pregnancy

How do I know we are star crossed lovers without that


Really, wow thanks for the advice. Tell me, as a chick, do you on the whole prefer the Beefs or the Rays?

Mine says this now.

wow. what a moment. these two are friends.
plus a punchline. top 10, maybe 5.

this strip seems finely crafted and solidly built. doesn't it describe a lot about beef's perspective, ray's perspective, and their relationship?

I, too, have never frenched a girl.

Or a boy.

Shit.

Aw, I too, thought I'd be accidentally shot by my best friend in a freak rollerskating incident and die before ever frenchin' a lady, but here I am, having already gotten mad rutty with a lady. What I mean to say inbetween all that bragging is, don't give up hope, man. It'll happen.

...Man, we could start a nerd support group/meeting thing.

A comment left by hollis was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, ezcmac, jdhenry105, blarghamagarky, Darthemed)

Yes! Yes! Nerd Dating support group! I can see it starting! The slogan: Leave the Roast Beef Behind to unleash the King of the Makeouts inside you!

Nerd Support Group Update:

I've had my first French!

And my second!

And third!

And fourth!

Then I got very drunk and had one with a dude.

It was my birthday, see.

And my jaw hurts.

Hooray!

Hahah Awesome! Yeah, your jaw can get kinda sore until you get kinda used to it. Happy Belated Birthday. Were you lucid enough to remember Ray's advice and go 'You're welcome'?

Oh, better than that mon ami. Not only did I say "You're welcome!" to all the girls afterwards, but I have some (admittedly wobbly) video footage of me snogging my (male) best friend then yelling "KISS MY ASS BITCH, I'LL BE AT DUANE'S!" and punching him out.

I have reached the zenith of human existance, I truly have.

Oh No way that's dope this footage MUST make it to youtube.

that is the actual greatest thing i have ever heard of, ever.

Fucking ayyyyy.

seriously post or shens

The zenith of human existence, experts agree, is pretending to pretend (to the extent your space helmet allows you) to be frenchin' while on the moon and on the phone with a friend.

Of course, Roast Beef being a cat plays a hand in the wonderfully flat landing of whatever joke I tried to spill out of my fingertips here.

i do not think i am overstating when i say that you are the single greatest person in existence

What? What are you guys frenchin'? An alligator with braces?

People who french people ain't supposed to get pain in their jaws.

You're not doing it right it seems

Hell yes your jaw should hurt.

Your avatar makes me think if I don't make a copy of it and give it to someone else, some girl with backwards hair is gonna crawl out of a well and then I'll be dead and the ground will be all wet.

Sometimes I get a sore jaw after I've been frenching a vagina for too long.

First of all, sore neck. Second of all, that's called an Australian kiss

If you're drunk and frenching everyone at a party? Yes it hurts your jaw after a while.

Oh woops man I didn't even see this comment before.
Rock on.

You know it just turn into a giant nerd love-fest and everybody would be yelling about their rad chilies being on fire.

My first kiss: he eventually honked my boob. Like a rubber duck. GUYS THIS IS NEVER OKAY, OKAY?

Ouch. That is a memory-killer.

I remember mine, too. I simultaneously made out with a guy and flipped off my friend who was standing behind him.

Good times.

HONK

My first kiss was on a dare at a party. The guy I kissed was my friend's boyfriend, who I was secretly in love with. It was a strange, strange night.

LESS REMINISCING MORE BOOB-HONKING

HONK HONK

You're right, it's not okay, it's actually awesome.

I'm for a support group, if it includes non nerd losers, too. And yeah, gotta keep your chin up.

If you don't you might end up kissing her chin.

french like death will happen.

Dude, overmedicated, don't worry. I didn't have my first french until I was like 17. The girl who finally took my frenchinity, it turned out, had a boyfriend who was a black belt in judo. Two years later and I have frenched 5 different girls and gotten rutty with two.

Sometimes stuff isn't exciting but then BAM all this excitement at once. The important thing is to relax.

Frenched yet? Just curious.

A comment left by jamers was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, jdhenry105, blarghamagarky)

It's essential that you suspend all thought of what you're actually doing for a make-out session to work. Same goes for sex.

this makes total sense.

class

I have dated people who subscribed to this advice. There was no "Thank You" involved.

No date, but yes.

Ray understands. There is truly no finer warm up for "The Miracle"

Ray's "Ha Ha!" bothers me, like he doesn't have it together enough to just deliver the line.

I spend basically an hour each day trying to figure out the circumstances involved that would have me giving someone make-out advice in such away as to have them ask if they should say thank you, just so I can deliver Ray's line.

I imagine it as a triumphant and slightly aggressive "Ha Ha!"

Actually, the way Ray describes frenching is pretty unappealing to me. When dudes just try to go all nuts with their tongues it presses all my buttons, just.. the wrong ones. It should be more of a massage, I think, not like a rapid twisting and flapping. >_<

Beef is so adorable.

Also, they should change it up. Fast, slow, sensual, hot...keep it interesting!

ain't gonna read any of this shay on webmd.

Ze tongue, it should not thrash about in ze mouth, it should gently tease and twine.

It's like tongue wrestling when it's mutual. You have to overcome the horror or touching someone else's tongue with yours.

I don't remember frenching working that way. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would whoop my ass if I tried too. Might be worth it though.........

How the hell is Beef talking if he cannot open his mouth.

I am glad I am not the only person who noticed this.

I had to read to the very end to make sure no one had asked this very question.

I never get to make my comments. It's like everyone was reading this strip before me.

And let's not forget that the phone is outside of his helmet. That raises some questions.

Roast Beef is enetertained by thinking about his tongue going hella crazy.