irreverend
+8 -1
There is no greater offense than fucking with produce.
There is no greater offense than fucking with produce.
whiteturtle
+17 -0
I dunno, the west coast offense has shown to be highly successful in many levels of play. Fucking with produce has shown to be ineffective at stopping a dedicated blitz.
I dunno, the west coast offense has shown to be highly successful in many levels of play. Fucking with produce has shown to be ineffective at stopping a dedicated blitz.
snidedk
+50 -0
Having worked in a supermarket I wholeheartedly disagree. Between people who love to leave several pounds of chicken hidden in ridiculous places; managers who knock several jars of relish on the floor then sheepishly call for a cleanup; and picking up the little rolls of toilet paper in the women's room desperately hoping none of them contain used, bloody feminine hygiene products, sort of like a demented game of Minesweeper (hint - almost all of them do); taking the mushrooms out of the bell peppers is almost a treat.
Having worked in a supermarket I wholeheartedly disagree. Between people who love to leave several pounds of chicken hidden in ridiculous places; managers who knock several jars of relish on the floor then sheepishly call for a cleanup; and picking up the little rolls of toilet paper in the women's room desperately hoping none of them contain used, bloody feminine hygiene products, sort of like a demented game of Minesweeper (hint - almost all of them do); taking the mushrooms out of the bell peppers is almost a treat.
daidai
+27 -2
Y...your life...is a mosaic of terrible and horrifying things that form a picture...of Jesus throwing up and flipping you the bird.
Y...your life...is a mosaic of terrible and horrifying things that form a picture...of Jesus throwing up and flipping you the bird.
billygoatbiker
+7 -0
it's got to be better than working at a movie theater and cleaning up after the kid's movies.
hint: the pervs sit in the back and jizz in cups while watching the kiddies enjoy the movie. guess who has to clean it up?
it's got to be better than working at a movie theater and cleaning up after the kid's movies.
hint: the pervs sit in the back and jizz in cups while watching the kiddies enjoy the movie. guess who has to clean it up?
snidedk
+1 -2
Huh. I guess that is worse. I saw a lot of disgusting things in my time at Safeway, but buckets and buckets of jism was never one of them.
Chubbied.
Huh. I guess that is worse. I saw a lot of disgusting things in my time at Safeway, but buckets and buckets of jism was never one of them.
Chubbied.
em2
+0 -0
A comment left by em2 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ishuta, Spoon, waddie, jfenserty, oozienelson, GeyserShitdick, trapperjohn, perhapsmaybe, The_Stoned_One, hardelicious, motts)
A comment left by em2 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ishuta, Spoon, waddie, jfenserty, oozienelson, GeyserShitdick, trapperjohn, perhapsmaybe, The_Stoned_One, hardelicious, motts)
phy
+9 -1
Some dudes will take any opportunity to quote the back catalogue, won't they? It's stuff like this makes people want to hurt Monty Python fans.
Some dudes will take any opportunity to quote the back catalogue, won't they? It's stuff like this makes people want to hurt Monty Python fans.
achilleselbow
+35 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cbtbone
+2 -1
well done
well done
phy
+1 -0
In the interest of full disclosure I feel like an absolute internet hack on the occasions I throw out a cheap reference here and it gets a lot of chubbies. I should be better than that, on an oddly-coded addendum to a creative if not-extremely-popular internet webcomic.
Also Autobots forever.
In the interest of full disclosure I feel like an absolute internet hack on the occasions I throw out a cheap reference here and it gets a lot of chubbies. I should be better than that, on an oddly-coded addendum to a creative if not-extremely-popular internet webcomic.
Also Autobots forever.
syx
+1 -0
Isn't saying "Internet webcomic" redundant?
Isn't saying "Internet webcomic" redundant?
spazdor
+1 -0
V-Chubby for mentioning "Autobots", the heroes from a cartoon with which I am familiar!
V-Chubby for mentioning "Autobots", the heroes from a cartoon with which I am familiar!
sheriff_mittens
+0 -0
This is from the now-almost-defunct Spamusement.com, where one genius draws cartoons from spam subject lines. I think this one is "not appreciated for what you know." This might not be news to anyone, but if achilleselbow's comment draws more people to Spamusement, all the better.
This is from the now-almost-defunct Spamusement.com, where one genius draws cartoons from spam subject lines. I think this one is "not appreciated for what you know." This might not be news to anyone, but if achilleselbow's comment draws more people to Spamusement, all the better.
maximus
+1 -0
First they came for Spamusement and I was silent.
Then they came for the Perry Bible Fellowship and I felt I couldn't get involved.
Then Beef's marriage ended up on Adult Swim Pay Per View.
First they came for Spamusement and I was silent.
Then they came for the Perry Bible Fellowship and I felt I couldn't get involved.
Then Beef's marriage ended up on Adult Swim Pay Per View.
trap
+0 -0
HE WANTS TO TASTE THE FUCKING CURB!
HE WANTS TO TASTE THE FUCKING CURB!
onepapertiger
+0 -0
What was quoted? I feel uncultured.
What was quoted? I feel uncultured.
phy
+0 -1
Snidedk mentioned Safeway, and em2 posted a picture of the receipt for the barebones turkey-and-brandy dinner from the Great Outdoor Fight.
Also, A. you can easily change your lame-exclusion threshold, and B. Nekulturny bastard.
Snidedk mentioned Safeway, and em2 posted a picture of the receipt for the barebones turkey-and-brandy dinner from the Great Outdoor Fight.
Also, A. you can easily change your lame-exclusion threshold, and B. Nekulturny bastard.
lawbot
+0 -0
Woah that's a bit strong.
Woah that's a bit strong.
hbaranov
+1 -2
NO
NO
the_doz
+0 -0
Hey uh so I suck at this and don't know how else to ask. How do you change this "lame threshold" I keep hearing so much about?
Hey uh so I suck at this and don't know how else to ask. How do you change this "lame threshold" I keep hearing so much about?
cromar
+0 -0
It's up at the top - right under the reply box. Change the text box to, say 50, and then click the save button to the right.
It's up at the top - right under the reply box. Change the text box to, say 50, and then click the save button to the right.
cromar
+0 -0
It's up at the top - right under the reply box. Change the text box to, say 50, and then click the save button to the right.
It's up at the top - right under the reply box. Change the text box to, say 50, and then click the save button to the right.
maximus
+0 -0
the Lame Threshold is an Internet Physical Constant (IPC) and as such is not editable by end users without serious consequences.
the Lame Threshold is an Internet Physical Constant (IPC) and as such is not editable by end users without serious consequences.
phy
+0 -0
The monumental fine-tuning of the Lame Threshold is obviously a sign that the Internet was designed by an intelligence to support life, and if you'd like, the address on this pamphlet is where we get together every Wednesday evening to discuss such things and how it can bring us to a closer relationship with God.
The monumental fine-tuning of the Lame Threshold is obviously a sign that the Internet was designed by an intelligence to support life, and if you'd like, the address on this pamphlet is where we get together every Wednesday evening to discuss such things and how it can bring us to a closer relationship with God.
em2
+2 -0
Seesh.
Some people claim to identify with Roast Beef on Assetbar. How's this for low self-esteem: I spend the vast majority of the time on this board in lurk mode, because I know I am rarely able to match the wit and humor of many of the other posters. One of the few times I get up the courage and do try to make a joke (trite, I admit), I am lamed into oblivion.
I'm the poster who sucks
Plus I got depression
Seesh.
Some people claim to identify with Roast Beef on Assetbar. How's this for low self-esteem: I spend the vast majority of the time on this board in lurk mode, because I know I am rarely able to match the wit and humor of many of the other posters. One of the few times I get up the courage and do try to make a joke (trite, I admit), I am lamed into oblivion.
I'm the poster who sucks
Plus I got depression
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It's okay, we can't all be Lawbot
It's okay, we can't all be Lawbot
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is quite lol.
Is quite lol.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
The trick is trial and error, I think, just pound those comments out and see what sticks. Eventually, you might get noticed by the cultural reference scouts and get a contract to the majors.
The trick is trial and error, I think, just pound those comments out and see what sticks. Eventually, you might get noticed by the cultural reference scouts and get a contract to the majors.
shineboxx
+1 -0
Turns out reading the comments from the bottom up doesn't work. I mean, 'buckets and buckets of jism' isn't a phrase you want to read even in context.
Turns out reading the comments from the bottom up doesn't work. I mean, 'buckets and buckets of jism' isn't a phrase you want to read even in context.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
wait a minute, is that the riddle of the sphinx?
wait a minute, is that the riddle of the sphinx?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Pity chubby.
Pity chubby.
chachibenji
+0 -0
What the hell man
that is all
What the hell man
that is all
budenhagen
+4 -1
The worst thing that happens at McDonalds is seeing all the terrible terrible fatties ordering more of our terribly unhealthy foodstuffs. That, and yesterday the floral arrangement we had on the counter got stolen. A fucking vase of plastic flowers. WTF, world?
The worst thing that happens at McDonalds is seeing all the terrible terrible fatties ordering more of our terribly unhealthy foodstuffs. That, and yesterday the floral arrangement we had on the counter got stolen. A fucking vase of plastic flowers. WTF, world?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
People steal random shit for the hell of it. A friend of mine was at a party once and saw on the fridge a magnetic photo frame containing a picture of the host's mother meeting Tony Blair, so she stole it.
Note: When I say "a friend of mine" I literally mean a friend of mine. This isn't a thinly veiled admission of guilt.
People steal random shit for the hell of it. A friend of mine was at a party once and saw on the fridge a magnetic photo frame containing a picture of the host's mother meeting Tony Blair, so she stole it.
Note: When I say "a friend of mine" I literally mean a friend of mine. This isn't a thinly veiled admission of guilt.
lawbot
+0 -0
Ohh ayye.
Ohh ayye.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, but those people suck and you shouldn't be friends with them.
Yea, but those people suck and you shouldn't be friends with them.
glyc
+1 -1
maybe they have compatible facial expressiveness. Maybe she shoudl be.
maybe they have compatible facial expressiveness. Maybe she shoudl be.
gladi8orrex
+2 -1
lol
lol
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh man if these two team up that shit will be INSANE
Oh man if these two team up that shit will be INSANE
kamet
+0 -0
"SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY.. WHEN GLYC and GLADI8ORREX ACTUALLY TEAM UP TO TAKE OUT RATIONAL THINKING!!! PHILOSOPHERS ARE CALLING THIS THE END OF SANITY AS WE KNOW IT!!"
"SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY.. WHEN GLYC and GLADI8ORREX ACTUALLY TEAM UP TO TAKE OUT RATIONAL THINKING!!! PHILOSOPHERS ARE CALLING THIS THE END OF SANITY AS WE KNOW IT!!"
lawbot
+1 -0
GLADIATOR X AND GLYC TEAM UP TO TAKE ON THE SPECIALLY FORMED TEAM OF ARISTOTLE AND MARX! SEE IT ALL LIVE! SEE WHO LIFTS UP THE BELT OF RAIONAL THOUGHT! ONLY £10 ON SKY.
GLADIATOR X AND GLYC TEAM UP TO TAKE ON THE SPECIALLY FORMED TEAM OF ARISTOTLE AND MARX! SEE IT ALL LIVE! SEE WHO LIFTS UP THE BELT OF RAIONAL THOUGHT! ONLY £10 ON SKY.
earendil
+0 -0
It'd be just like pro wrestling -- inflated egos, adopted characters, spectacle everywhere -- only the risk of death is very real. Actually, it'd be more like a Roman Colosseum battle -- gladi8orrex and glyc are the lions and poor condemned individuals are thrown into the ring where their rationality, their sanity, and their very souls are viciously stripped from them.
It'd be just like pro wrestling -- inflated egos, adopted characters, spectacle everywhere -- only the risk of death is very real. Actually, it'd be more like a Roman Colosseum battle -- gladi8orrex and glyc are the lions and poor condemned individuals are thrown into the ring where their rationality, their sanity, and their very souls are viciously stripped from them.
mo_rose
+0 -0
Gladiator X? I've been calling her gladiatrix! Aww man I've been making an ass of myself.
Gladiator X? I've been calling her gladiatrix! Aww man I've been making an ass of myself.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Isn't it Gladiator Rex? That's how I've always said it.
Isn't it Gladiator Rex? That's how I've always said it.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
catgrl: ditto
catgrl: ditto
lawbot
+0 -0
Think about how he writes - lots of redundancy to achieved the desired phonic equivalence.
It only came to me recently that this is what it would be, but it just makes sense.
Think about how he writes - lots of redundancy to achieved the desired phonic equivalence.
It only came to me recently that this is what it would be, but it just makes sense.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yes.
yes.
lawbot
+0 -0
Her?
Her?
earendil
+0 -0
This is the sound of a mind being blown.
This is the sound of a mind being blown.
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
I was saying that your comment makes no sense.
NO
I was saying that your comment makes no sense.
earendil
+0 -1
NO
I was saying that it requires a paradigm shift to imagine that gladi8orrex could be female, and said shift blew your mind, which is why you could do no more than gape in amazement.
and post "her?"
NO
I was saying that it requires a paradigm shift to imagine that gladi8orrex could be female, and said shift blew your mind, which is why you could do no more than gape in amazement.
and post "her?"
lawbot
+0 -0
No, it requires you to ignore all the evidence.
No, it requires you to ignore all the evidence.
lawbot
+0 -1
No, it takes ignoring all the available evidence to think of gladiator-x as a woman. That is not paradigm shift, and it is not clever.
No, it takes ignoring all the available evidence to think of gladiator-x as a woman. That is not paradigm shift, and it is not clever.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I think Marx would end up trying to commit suicide by jumping up and trying to land on his head.
I think Marx would end up trying to commit suicide by jumping up and trying to land on his head.
didymos
+5 -0
This is untrue. Bathrooms -- women's bathrooms, in particular -- are just as bad as (if not worse than) any public facility you will ever find anywhere. At least movie theater patrons have the decency to tuck their feminine hygiene products into TP tubes. Female McDonald's customers have a habit of just slinging the things straight onto the floor. Let me say that tufts of cotton fiber dried into a puddle of menstrual blood are not something you want to have to clean off of a tile floor for minimum wage.
In addition, there are parents to deal with. Parents who are sick as shit of cleaning up after their kids at home, and see McDonald's as "freedom from trying not to make a mess" just as hotel visitors enjoy the "freedom of not having to worry about cleaning semen off of the curtains". They will allow their teething infants to mangle a Happy Meal hamburger and distribute it as they please, onto the table, the booth seat, and the floor. If you can imagine putting a hamburger into a zip-lock bag, hocking a few juicy loogies into it, sealing the bag, stomping on it until it no longer resembles food, and then spreading it about as though you were fertilzing a lawn, that would approximate the aftermath.
I worked at McDonald's for two years in high school. That was all the experience I needed to know that I didn't want to work in any job that involved food or direct interaction with customers ever again.
This is untrue. Bathrooms -- women's bathrooms, in particular -- are just as bad as (if not worse than) any public facility you will ever find anywhere. At least movie theater patrons have the decency to tuck their feminine hygiene products into TP tubes. Female McDonald's customers have a habit of just slinging the things straight onto the floor. Let me say that tufts of cotton fiber dried into a puddle of menstrual blood are not something you want to have to clean off of a tile floor for minimum wage.
In addition, there are parents to deal with. Parents who are sick as shit of cleaning up after their kids at home, and see McDonald's as "freedom from trying not to make a mess" just as hotel visitors enjoy the "freedom of not having to worry about cleaning semen off of the curtains". They will allow their teething infants to mangle a Happy Meal hamburger and distribute it as they please, onto the table, the booth seat, and the floor. If you can imagine putting a hamburger into a zip-lock bag, hocking a few juicy loogies into it, sealing the bag, stomping on it until it no longer resembles food, and then spreading it about as though you were fertilzing a lawn, that would approximate the aftermath.
I worked at McDonald's for two years in high school. That was all the experience I needed to know that I didn't want to work in any job that involved food or direct interaction with customers ever again.
budenhagen
+0 -0
Ah, well, I am usually the one making the burgers, and therefore don't have to deal with most of the messes and whatnot that happens out there. I am thankful that all the worst I have to deal with is severely burning myself.
Ah, well, I am usually the one making the burgers, and therefore don't have to deal with most of the messes and whatnot that happens out there. I am thankful that all the worst I have to deal with is severely burning myself.
glyc
+0 -0
I can't walk into a McDonald's any more without my blood pressure rising and getting a feeling of stress. My last job was installing and supporting the register systems at McD's. Fortunately, there is no reason for me to walk into a McD's any more.
I can't walk into a McDonald's any more without my blood pressure rising and getting a feeling of stress. My last job was installing and supporting the register systems at McD's. Fortunately, there is no reason for me to walk into a McD's any more.
sncether
+3 -0
Uh, hello? A little something called the Bacon Ranch Salad?
Uh, hello? A little something called the Bacon Ranch Salad?
dr_strangeglove
+0 -0
you sir, have earned a chubby of ultimate proportions.
you sir, have earned a chubby of ultimate proportions.
thorfinn
+2 -0
dr_strangeglove puts on robe and wizard hat, casts level 8 chubby of the infinite
dr_strangeglove puts on robe and wizard hat, casts level 8 chubby of the infinite
fineoakstructure
+1 -1
Sorry if I sound like a dick, but I get the feeling from your posts that you might overreact to a number of benign stimuli.
Don't go blaming McD's for it.
Sorry if I sound like a dick, but I get the feeling from your posts that you might overreact to a number of benign stimuli.
Don't go blaming McD's for it.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Cue long-winded response rant about the nature of reality cribbed straight from Holden Caulfield, but with worse spelling.
Cue long-winded response rant about the nature of reality cribbed straight from Holden Caulfield, but with worse spelling.
glyc
+0 -0
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, blastradius, KaMeT, Kleptonis, HolyQ, motts)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, blastradius, KaMeT, Kleptonis, HolyQ, motts)
blastradius
+1 -0
lame ... because the first two sentences were so dull and nonsensical that i had no desire to continue reading, no matter what nuggets may be within. plus, i don't come here to read theses.
lame ... because the first two sentences were so dull and nonsensical that i had no desire to continue reading, no matter what nuggets may be within. plus, i don't come here to read theses.
usversusthem
+0 -1
tl;dc
tl;dc
jeffrubinoff
+0 -0
Chubbied, because dude had hella shit job. And I'm kinda in tech support myself.
Chubbied, because dude had hella shit job. And I'm kinda in tech support myself.
phy
+5 -0
Jesus fuck, you could keep Mongolians out with that wall of text. Although I'm glad I read the last sentence, that is some excellently crafted irony you have going there for you
Jesus fuck, you could keep Mongolians out with that wall of text. Although I'm glad I read the last sentence, that is some excellently crafted irony you have going there for you
gormster
+0 -0
Thanks for pointing that out or I would have missed it entirely. Laugh-out-loud moment.
Thanks for pointing that out or I would have missed it entirely. Laugh-out-loud moment.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
Caulfield had personality, glyc is just an idiot.
Caulfield had personality, glyc is just an idiot.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
b nice ok ^_^
b nice ok ^_^
glyc
+1 -1
not just the president, I'm a member too!
but if ou met me in person my personality would shine through shine on through like a crazy diamond you would be impressed if you met me in person maybe so impressed you would even want to sex me if you were a lady a lot of chicks are like that when they meat me
not just the president, I'm a member too!
but if ou met me in person my personality would shine through shine on through like a crazy diamond you would be impressed if you met me in person maybe so impressed you would even want to sex me if you were a lady a lot of chicks are like that when they meat me
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
that's basically a given at this point am i right ladies
that's basically a given at this point am i right ladies
bixschmix
+0 -0
Oh man. Let me tell you, nothing's sexier than a nonsensical egotist without a sense of humor. I... I can barely restrain my Passion.
Oh man. Let me tell you, nothing's sexier than a nonsensical egotist without a sense of humor. I... I can barely restrain my Passion.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I know....as soon as a see the name "glyc" on a post the panties just fly off.
I know....as soon as a see the name "glyc" on a post the panties just fly off.
pogo
+0 -0
Glyc?!
Glyc?!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Are you UnrestrainedPassion69 or panties_fly_off?
Are you UnrestrainedPassion69 or panties_fly_off?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It is wrong that I can perfectly envisage a sound effect for this occurence.
It is wrong that I can perfectly envisage a sound effect for this occurence.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Couldve been done just to make you wonder.
But no the worst thing at MickyDEEEEES is seeing some fit athletic type person order 10 dollars worth of stuff off the dollar menu and realizing that you arent them.
Couldve been done just to make you wonder.
But no the worst thing at MickyDEEEEES is seeing some fit athletic type person order 10 dollars worth of stuff off the dollar menu and realizing that you arent them.
cromar
+0 -0
Luckily they will probably die of a heart attack. Or at least this is what I tell myself.
Luckily they will probably die of a heart attack. Or at least this is what I tell myself.
bixschmix
+0 -0
No what will happen is while their metabolism is fast they will eat all sorts of crap and then when they get older and their insane metabolism starts to slow down they won't know how to eat healthy food without craving fast-food crap and it will be their chubby downfall.
NOTE: Any similarities between this post and bixschmix's real-life experiences are wholly coincidental.
No what will happen is while their metabolism is fast they will eat all sorts of crap and then when they get older and their insane metabolism starts to slow down they won't know how to eat healthy food without craving fast-food crap and it will be their chubby downfall.
NOTE: Any similarities between this post and bixschmix's real-life experiences are wholly coincidental.
tekende
+0 -1
I bet my metabolism could beat yours in a race.
I bet my metabolism could beat yours in a race.
tekende
+0 -1
Or anyone's, really.
Or anyone's, really.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I know yours could now, you are skinny as hell! When I was a teenager my metabolism could have given yours a run for its money, though.
I know yours could now, you are skinny as hell! When I was a teenager my metabolism could have given yours a run for its money, though.
loneal
+0 -0
I'll take that bet.
I'll take that bet.
stereo
+0 -0
All-beef tacos at dawn!
Loser picks up the tab.
All-beef tacos at dawn!
Loser picks up the tab.
hedonismbot
+3 -0
Especially that last bit. It is terrible for a dude to fuck with zucchini and cucumbers. On the other hand, it is totally awesome when a chick fucks with them
Especially that last bit. It is terrible for a dude to fuck with zucchini and cucumbers. On the other hand, it is totally awesome when a chick fucks with them
i_love_kate
+0 -0
WHOOOOOOOOOOOO
WHOOOOOOOOOOOO
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
MOIST
MOIST
nemo
+1 -1
There is no greater offense than fuckingwith produce.
There is no greater offense than fucking
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
FUCK THE PRODUCE!
FUCK THE PRODUCE!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
187! 187! 187!
187! 187! 187!
sncether
+0 -0
What's 187, the cashier code for overripe honeydews?
What's 187, the cashier code for overripe honeydews?
hedonismbot
+3 -0
187 is for dropping the murder bomb.
80085 is the code for big firm overripe melons
187 is for dropping the murder bomb.
80085 is the code for big firm overripe melons
professorriffs
+1 -1
You can find girls fucking with produce all over the internet. SO OFFENSIVE!
You can find girls fucking with produce all over the internet. SO OFFENSIVE!
laserblade
+4 -0
It's a little funnier if you live in Palo Alto. The police blotter really is exactly like this, although presumably it's not all caused by one cat.
It's a little funnier if you live in Palo Alto. The police blotter really is exactly like this, although presumably it's not all caused by one cat.
doc_rostov
+11 -0
Presumably, none of it is caused by any cat.
Presumably, none of it is caused by any cat.
daidai
+1 -0
That's jumping to conclusions. Put that mat away.
That's jumping to conclusions. Put that mat away.
kamet
+24 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
daidai
+3 -0
This mat never helped me thanks to my undersized left foot and superb jumping ability.
Fucking ??? square.
This mat never helped me thanks to my undersized left foot and superb jumping ability.
Fucking ??? square.
heccibiggs
+0 -1
What? This is an actual thing?
What? This is an actual thing?
spinynorman
+0 -0
It's from Office Space. If it's real then it exists purely on a novelty level.
I hope.
It's from Office Space. If it's real then it exists purely on a novelty level.
I hope.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think it does exist on a novelty level, I notice a lot of local bookstores sell both Office Space and The Office...um...office kits. I have a box full of Office Space "pieces of flair" as proof.
I think it does exist on a novelty level, I notice a lot of local bookstores sell both Office Space and The Office...um...office kits. I have a box full of Office Space "pieces of flair" as proof.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Nope, I own one. My boss/cousin got me the Office Space desk set. It includes a jump to conclusions mat, a red stapler, a banner that says "IS THIS GOOD FOR THE COMPANY?", a button that says "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays," some TPS reports, and I can't remember what else.
Nope, I own one. My boss/cousin got me the Office Space desk set. It includes a jump to conclusions mat, a red stapler, a banner that says "IS THIS GOOD FOR THE COMPANY?", a button that says "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays," some TPS reports, and I can't remember what else.
perilon
+3 -0
A cardboard box filled to the brim with soul-crushing tedium.
A cardboard box filled to the brim with soul-crushing tedium.
odei
+0 -0
A little label printer that only prints out quotes from Office Space.
A little label printer that only prints out quotes from Office Space.
phy
+0 -0
You know that scene in Terminator 2 where Sarah Connor is busting herself out of the mental hospital, and Arnie comes walking in and she absolutely shits herself shrieking in fear? The idea of that label printer does that to me. That is a horrible thing . If there is an uncanny valley for ideas, that is one of them.
You know that scene in Terminator 2 where Sarah Connor is busting herself out of the mental hospital, and Arnie comes walking in and she absolutely shits herself shrieking in fear? The idea of that label printer does that to me. That is a horrible thing . If there is an uncanny valley for ideas, that is one of them.
professorhazard
+0 -0
An adhesive error message to apply to printer readout screens, and an Initech coffee mug. The latter currently holds my pens.
An adhesive error message to apply to printer readout screens, and an Initech coffee mug. The latter currently holds my pens.
lastlarf
+0 -0
I misread that quite horribly.
I misread that quite horribly.
professorhazard
+7 -0
Sorry, I misspelled "penis". Did you think I meant "pens"?
Sorry, I misspelled "penis". Did you think I meant "pens"?
achilleselbow
+1 -0
The sad thing is I read that as "penis" each time I scrolled past it until now, and thought it completely unremarkable that someone on this board would make a comment about having their penis in a coffee cup.
The sad thing is I read that as "penis" each time I scrolled past it until now, and thought it completely unremarkable that someone on this board would make a comment about having their penis in a coffee cup.
kamet
+0 -0
All shock value has gone completely out of the window in these halls, dear Achilles.
All shock value has gone completely out of the window in these halls, dear Achilles.
lastlarf
+0 -0
the way of the internet
the way of the internet
bixschmix
+0 -0
I DIDN'T GET THAT STICKER!
I feel cheated. I'm going to go drink out of my initech mug now.
I DIDN'T GET THAT STICKER!
I feel cheated. I'm going to go drink out of my initech mug now.
tekende
+1 -1
Be sure to take Professor Hazard's penis out of it first.
Be sure to take Professor Hazard's penis out of it first.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Damn I think you just called her out on that man.
Damn I think you just called her out on that man.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Somebody's jealous...
(Tekende. Tekende is jealous.)
Somebody's jealous...
(Tekende. Tekende is jealous.)
maximus
+0 -0
It's supposed to be "Loose One Turn" - somebody suit or mid level manager in China probably proofread it and "fixed" it
It's supposed to be "Loose One Turn" - somebody suit or mid level manager in China probably proofread it and "fixed" it
expellens
+0 -0
chubbied for stern Mr. Bear / comment synergy
chubbied for stern Mr. Bear / comment synergy
onepapertiger
+0 -0
bee-ear ste-erns
sittin' in a tree.
bee-ear ste-erns
sittin' in a tree.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Hopefully
Hopefully
loneal
+1 -2
Street named after a writer and a disproportionate number of East Achewood troubles make it even better.
(Laserblade, maybe you an' me are vecinos!)
Street named after a writer and a disproportionate number of East Achewood troubles make it even better.
(Laserblade, maybe you an' me are vecinos!)
laserblade
+0 -0
You've just implied that Latinos become neighbors for stupid reasons. Like wanting to live in Palo Alto.
You've just implied that Latinos become neighbors for stupid reasons. Like wanting to live in Palo Alto.
killingthejay
+0 -0
so true though
so true though
dabigv13
+0 -0
truf
truf
spinynorman
+1 -1
In my perfect world, my arrival is preceded by the howling and thrashing of dogs, trucks loaded with soiled diapers overturning in commercial sections of town, and general drops in the real estate market.
Crows and thunderclouds are for pussies.
In my perfect world, my arrival is preceded by the howling and thrashing of dogs, trucks loaded with soiled diapers overturning in commercial sections of town, and general drops in the real estate market.
Crows and thunderclouds are for pussies.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
clouds and thunder-crows however...
clouds and thunder-crows however...
earendil
+0 -0
Wait, gladi8orrex just said something that kind of made sense! You sir are like the Senor Cardgage to our collective Homsar, all losing the non sequitur competition.
Wait, gladi8orrex just said something that kind of made sense! You sir are like the Senor Cardgage to our collective Homsar, all losing the non sequitur competition.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Looks to me like he thought he was logged in under his other username and accidentally made a coherent post as Rex. The facade is slipping! WHO IS HE REALLY?
Looks to me like he thought he was logged in under his other username and accidentally made a coherent post as Rex. The facade is slipping! WHO IS HE REALLY?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Man, you couldn't put in the little bit of extra effort to add some misspellings? You're breaking character!
Man, you couldn't put in the little bit of extra effort to add some misspellings? You're breaking character!
spinynorman
+0 -0
This is probably what it's like for Ricky Gervais day after day.
This is probably what it's like for Ricky Gervais day after day.
whiteturtle
+3 -0
this is why people think you are british, spiny. You have a Stephen Fry avatarimage and you reference british celebrities. You should try making organ-meat pies and deregulating your 80's economy to complete the effect.
this is why people think you are british, spiny. You have a Stephen Fry avatarimage and you reference british celebrities. You should try making organ-meat pies and deregulating your 80's economy to complete the effect.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
I chubbied hard.
I chubbied hard.
crawfomp
+0 -0
Funny, I noticed that fool season just began here as well!
Funny, I noticed that fool season just began here as well!
hamscout
+5 -2
Ma'am, I believe it's pronounced " Election Season ".
Ma'am, I believe it's pronounced " Election Season ".
onepapertiger
+0 -0
everybody on the lame boat, population you
everybody on the lame boat, population you
heccibiggs
+3 -0
Is it just me or is this an extremely mixed metaphor?
Is it just me or is this an extremely mixed metaphor?
deliciousmuffin
+1 -0
It's not just you, don't worry.
Everyone on the confused boat, population EVERYONE ELSE. (Yeah that was pretty lame.)
It's not just you, don't worry.
Everyone on the confused boat, population EVERYONE ELSE. (Yeah that was pretty lame.)
hedonismbot
+3 -0
Everyone on the man in the boat, population: CLITS!
Everyone on the man in the boat, population: CLITS!
deliciousmuffin
+0 -0
LOVE 'EM.
LOVE 'EM.
hbaranov
+0 -1
But, not so lame, as to be lame-worthy. Everyone on the non-lame-worthy boat YOU
But, not so lame, as to be lame-worthy. Everyone on the non-lame-worthy boat YOU
onepapertiger
+0 -0
It is an equal op. mixed metaphor.
One which, ever since its extinction in fifth grade, I have sorely missed...
It is an equal op. mixed metaphor.
One which, ever since its extinction in fifth grade, I have sorely missed...
hamscout
+3 -1
*gasp*
My father was traveling to begin his new position in the legislature when the automobile ferry sank into Lake Michigan. In short, My father was killed on a lame boat!!
NOT cool!
*gasp*
My father was traveling to begin his new position in the legislature when the automobile ferry sank into Lake Michigan. In short, My father was killed on a lame boat!!
NOT cool!
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Bravo. The sole mystery lame may as well have been six chubbies for that.
Bravo. The sole mystery lame may as well have been six chubbies for that.
hamscout
+0 -0
Likewise! My view of politics as silly and annoying can itself be silly and annoying to others... EQUALITY!
Likewise! My view of politics as silly and annoying can itself be silly and annoying to others... EQUALITY!
mrpoopytime
+0 -0
Why does Showbiz think he wouldn't be good at planning a hospital? I've always thought hospitals could use some livening up, what with the old people and the permeating scent of urine.
Why does Showbiz think he wouldn't be good at planning a hospital? I've always thought hospitals could use some livening up, what with the old people and the permeating scent of urine.
falseprophet
+13 -0
Yeah sure the cast of Scrubs makes it look like its all hairspray and lip gloss but just you wait until you get to the end of the script and it aint just a coffee stain you lookin at its your stillborn baby's placenta .
Yeah sure the cast of Scrubs makes it look like its all hairspray and lip gloss but just you wait until you get to the end of the script and it aint just a coffee stain you lookin at its your stillborn baby's placenta .
daidai
+0 -0
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, falseprophet, whoper, perhapsmaybe, billygoatbiker)
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, falseprophet, whoper, perhapsmaybe, billygoatbiker)
tekende
+0 -0
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, jollysaintpete, thing)
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, jollysaintpete, thing)
achilleselbow
+28 -2
My grandpa is old. Not cool, man.
My grandpa is old. Not cool, man.
stereo
+3 -1
Was old
...
:(
Was old
...
:(
gormster
+1 -0
excuse you
excuse you
tekende
+0 -1
Okay, that was pretty funny.
Okay, that was pretty funny.
expellens
+0 -0
My grandpa died of S.E.D.S. right after his 94th birfday.
My grandpa died of S.E.D.S. right after his 94th birfday.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Sudden Elderly Death Syndrome?
Sudden Elderly Death Syndrome?
expellens
+0 -0
yeah...all of a sudden he quit breathing.
so sad.
yeah...all of a sudden he quit breathing.
so sad.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
and everything old is new again.
and everything old is new again.
lawbot
+0 -0
Yeah I like to think that saying it near the top is catgrl's schtick, and that's quit enough.
Yeah I like to think that saying it near the top is catgrl's schtick, and that's quit enough.
glyc
+1 -1
what? The not funny bit or the feti bit?
bits of feti... huh huh
*laughs so hard I squirts bits of feti out my nosetrils*
what? The not funny bit or the feti bit?
bits of feti... huh huh
*laughs so hard I squirts bits of feti out my nosetrils*
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Hahahaha "nosetrils" is a marvelous word.
Hahahaha "nosetrils" is a marvelous word.
thegoodwillgirl
+3 -0
Chubby for marrying a miscarried fetus.
Chubby for marrying a miscarried fetus.
solobuttons
+2 -0
He'd need all help possible to get a chubby for a foetus.
He'd need all help possible to get a chubby for a foetus.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I already said it. Damn my not reading down. It is your ownfault for being all the way down here guys
I already said it. Damn my not reading down. It is your ownfault for being all the way down here guys
jonno
+0 -0
It is easier than getting a foetus for your chubby. Untapped market?
It is easier than getting a foetus for your chubby. Untapped market?
hamscout
+0 -0
If you scour the internet, I'm sure you'll find that someone, somewhere, has already tapped that.
If you scour the internet, I'm sure you'll find that someone, somewhere, has already tapped that.
jonno
+0 -0
This is true even if you take it completely out of context.
This is true even if you take it completely out of context.
chachibenji
+0 -0
It is a job fit for a true man.
It is a job fit for a true man.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Is that pedonecrophilia? I think it is.
Is that pedonecrophilia? I think it is.
woodenteeth
+5 -0
Chuckles = Rough.
Chuckles = Rough.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Man, Showbiz is exactly what I imagine the people who planned my town's crap-ass hospital are like.
Free staph infection with every purchase!
Man, Showbiz is exactly what I imagine the people who planned my town's crap-ass hospital are like.
Free staph infection with every purchase!
usversusthem
+1 -0
Man, planning a hospital these days is such an exclusive affair. Back in my day, such a thing wasn't closed off to the poor man, so long as he was honest and willing to put his back into it.
Man, planning a hospital these days is such an exclusive affair. Back in my day, such a thing wasn't closed off to the poor man, so long as he was honest and willing to put his back into it.
falseprophet
+5 -0
I love how admitting to a bartender that you cannot plan a hospital is enough of an offense to wind up on the Achewood police blotter...
In Achewood, that kind of low self-confidence is not tolerated. You keep that to yourself, Mr. Man.
I love how admitting to a bartender that you cannot plan a hospital is enough of an offense to wind up on the Achewood police blotter...
In Achewood, that kind of low self-confidence is not tolerated. You keep that to yourself, Mr. Man.
whiteturtle
+13 -0
maybe the paper believed they had a municipal corruption story on their hands and wanted to establish a history of their coverage of the story.
"This newspaper reported back in 2008 that Showbiz Kazenzakis, chief architect and designer of the now collapsed and exploded Leo Fontenette Memorial Hospital, admitted he was 'not the sort of person you wanted planning a hospital'. City officials refused to comment."
maybe the paper believed they had a municipal corruption story on their hands and wanted to establish a history of their coverage of the story.
"This newspaper reported back in 2008 that Showbiz Kazenzakis, chief architect and designer of the now collapsed and exploded Leo Fontenette Memorial Hospital, admitted he was 'not the sort of person you wanted planning a hospital'. City officials refused to comment."
onepapertiger
+0 -0
I would have chubbied that had you not writ "Mr. Man."
Dammit falseprophet why didn't you stop before it was too late
I would have chubbied that had you not writ "Mr. Man."
Dammit falseprophet why didn't you stop before it was too late
falseprophet
+1 -0
Well land sakes there now what's got your spaghetti in a tangle? I think you need to take some-a that there Chillaxenol PM or what-have-you fore ya wander into the cereal mill and get yer Honey Comb mixed up with yer Golden Crisp.
Well land sakes there now what's got your spaghetti in a tangle? I think you need to take some-a that there Chillaxenol PM or what-have-you fore ya wander into the cereal mill and get yer Honey Comb mixed up with yer Golden Crisp.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
I am showered and air-conditioned and eating something nutritious--concepts foreign to me ten hours ago. I read my recent comments in shock, like an alcoholic playing back his messages the morning after a bender.
Stoned, procrastinating and on the verge of heatstroke is no way to go through Assetbar.
I am showered and air-conditioned and eating something nutritious--concepts foreign to me ten hours ago. I read my recent comments in shock, like an alcoholic playing back his messages the morning after a bender.
Stoned, procrastinating and on the verge of heatstroke is no way to go through Assetbar.
oozienelson
+0 -0
i couldn't tell you why, but tequiza is completely the soul-defining drink for showbiz.
i couldn't tell you why, but tequiza is completely the soul-defining drink for showbiz.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
The combination of shitty beer and lowgrade tequila speaks to the part of a man that is obsessed with stereo components. (Written under the influence of lots of Oban 14 y.o., which is semi-yummy.)
The combination of shitty beer and lowgrade tequila speaks to the part of a man that is obsessed with stereo components. (Written under the influence of lots of Oban 14 y.o., which is semi-yummy.)
heccibiggs
+2 -0
oozienelson and flazisismuss, your avatars are like exactly the same.
oozienelson and flazisismuss, your avatars are like exactly the same.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
They both remind me of Rob Halford at different stages in his career.
They both remind me of Rob Halford at different stages in his career.
flazisismuss
+1 -0
So bald dudes all look the same to you, eh? We get that a lot from you people.
So bald dudes all look the same to you, eh? We get that a lot from you people.
lawbot
+1 -1
Do you mean women?
Do you mean women?
hbaranov
+0 -1
NO
NO
chachibenji
+0 -0
achilleselbow is now officially a woman and that is awesome
achilleselbow is now officially a woman and that is awesome
nigelchaos
+0 -0
V-chubby for me being too friendly
V-chubby for me being too friendly
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You people all look like tall penises to me.
You people all look like tall penises to me.
dapooka
+1 -0
Hedonismbot, what doesn't look like a penis to you?
Well besides CLITS.
Hedonismbot, what doesn't look like a penis to you?
Well besides CLITS.
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
clitz are inside out dicks. lol atelsat i hope so
clitz are inside out dicks. lol atelsat i hope so
earendil
+1 -0
I'm trying to figure out a reason why you could possibly hope that this is true. I can only think of two scenarios:
1. Otherwise, you weren't licking clits last night...
2. Otherwise, the elective surgery you're going in for tomorrow is a horrible mistake.
I'm trying to figure out a reason why you could possibly hope that this is true. I can only think of two scenarios:
1. Otherwise, you weren't licking clits last night...
2. Otherwise, the elective surgery you're going in for tomorrow is a horrible mistake.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok this is really freaking me out guys. That's the second almost-coherent comment gladi8 has made today.
Ok this is really freaking me out guys. That's the second almost-coherent comment gladi8 has made today.
pogo
+0 -0
I'm still ignoring him.
I'm still ignoring him.
cbtbone
+0 -0
Of course white trash drinks Tequiza! That's why they call it Tequiza!
Of course white trash drinks Tequiza! That's why they call it Tequiza!
duskbringer
+0 -0
I agree with evil Demis Roussos here.
I agree with evil Demis Roussos here.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
I.... I am not a religious man... not a religious man at all.
I.... I am not a religious man... not a religious man at all.
autrepoupee
+7 -0
In the end, Roast Beef was unable not to spend 5 minutes not thinking about his wedding.
In the end, Roast Beef was unable not to spend 5 minutes not thinking about his wedding.
mjfitzge
+2 -0
your triple negative frightens and confuses me.
your triple negative frightens and confuses me.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
I'm downright astonished. Pants-wet fucking terrified.
I'm downright astonished. Pants-wet fucking terrified.
earendil
+0 -0
Pants-wet fucking is no worse than any other fetish. I mean, there's plenty of scarier ones out there.
[insert situation] has me pony-play terrified.
You are space-docking freaking me out
Pants-wet fucking is no worse than any other fetish. I mean, there's plenty of scarier ones out there.
[insert situation] has me pony-play terrified.
You are space-docking freaking me out
sncether
+1 -0
I'm as freaked out as Roy Orbison! Not on stage (he had a great stage presence!); when he woke up in the back of my Chevy Caprice covered in cling film and the hazy condensation of my breath! But at least I'm not tied up, huh?
I'm as freaked out as Roy Orbison! Not on stage (he had a great stage presence!); when he woke up in the back of my Chevy Caprice covered in cling film and the hazy condensation of my breath! But at least I'm not tied up, huh?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
anyone who is not familiar with this reference needs to google Roy Orbison and clingfilm immediately
anyone who is not familiar with this reference needs to google Roy Orbison and clingfilm immediately
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You've done sncether a disservice. I was going to chubby him until you said that it was a quote.
You've done sncether a disservice. I was going to chubby him until you said that it was a quote.
sncether
+0 -0
Not a quote, merely a reference. Let us say I sampled it in the hook. Assetbar's Delight.
Not a quote, merely a reference. Let us say I sampled it in the hook. Assetbar's Delight.
deusoma
+0 -0
I knew, as I entered those words into Google, that I would very, very likely get weirded out. In that regard, I was not disappointed.
I knew, as I entered those words into Google, that I would very, very likely get weirded out. In that regard, I was not disappointed.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Speaking of horrible fetishes, autrepoupee found this last night:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AA7MmtFLYQ
Speaking of horrible fetishes, autrepoupee found this last night:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AA7MmtFLYQ
onepapertiger
+0 -0
[From ar3y0oj0rd4n]
"im good with my lg steamwasher, got it when it came out, no problems whatsoever, just telling anyone that is looking into getting a front load washer and dryer. it is an excelent product"
[From ar3y0oj0rd4n]
"im good with my lg steamwasher, got it when it came out, no problems whatsoever, just telling anyone that is looking into getting a front load washer and dryer. it is an excelent product"
onepapertiger
+0 -0
my journalistic integrity commands me to fix that second 'l' in excellent; there was no mistake before and in erasing the sentence to give it more effect, I realized it looked worse. I know how to spell excellent and so does....ar3yoo--ar3y0oj--air, air yo jordan?
my journalistic integrity commands me to fix that second 'l' in excellent; there was no mistake before and in erasing the sentence to give it more effect, I realized it looked worse. I know how to spell excellent and so does....ar3yoo--ar3y0oj--air, air yo jordan?
cromar
+0 -0
" Are you Jordan " XD
" Are you Jordan " XD
onepapertiger
+0 -0
"Space Docking."
Is... kiss position?
"Space Docking."
Is... kiss position?
gormster
+0 -0
I think there were too many negatives in there. Lose the first 'not' and it makes sense.
I think there were too many negatives in there. Lose the first 'not' and it makes sense.
spectre
+0 -0
That is a very sad thing. Not the saddest, but very sad. Beef needs a break.
That is a very sad thing. Not the saddest, but very sad. Beef needs a break.
mint
+0 -0
A comment left by mint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Flaaron, Doc_Rostov, perhapsmaybe)
A comment left by mint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Flaaron, Doc_Rostov, perhapsmaybe)
cousinted
+2 -0
I'm pretty sure that was Showbiz again. I'm pretty sure all of those were Showbiz.
I'm pretty sure that was Showbiz again. I'm pretty sure all of those were Showbiz.
mint
+1 -0
yes yes they probably were
At the very least Showbiz didn't go to the grocery store and compared his you-know-what to the yams.
yes yes they probably were
At the very least Showbiz didn't go to the grocery store and compared his you-know-what to the yams.
cousinted
+0 -0
Well, not TODAY
Well, not TODAY
choosebro
+0 -0
It is not Thursday.
It is not Thursday.
daidai
+2 -2
McCain did. Again.
McCain did. Again.
hbaranov
+0 -0
A comment left by hbaranov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, InspectorGadget, odei)
A comment left by hbaranov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, InspectorGadget, odei)
aelindil
+1 -0
There is one very pro-McCain individual on here, laming all of you SO HARD and seething that he can only give out one lame. Just vibrating with impotent frustration.
There is one very pro-McCain individual on here, laming all of you SO HARD and seething that he can only give out one lame. Just vibrating with impotent frustration.
earendil
+2 -0
Impotent frustration... John McCain's sex life in a nutshell.
Impotent frustration... John McCain's sex life in a nutshell.
earendil
+2 -0
Also vibrating.
Also vibrating.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's probably pogo. You know, because he's old. Also in a previous strip's comments he informed me that the government always knows what's best and that the Vietnam War was for our own protection. I wish I were making this up.
And nice touch slipping the word 'impotent' into a post about McCain. I salute you.
It's probably pogo. You know, because he's old. Also in a previous strip's comments he informed me that the government always knows what's best and that the Vietnam War was for our own protection. I wish I were making this up.
And nice touch slipping the word 'impotent' into a post about McCain. I salute you.
pogo
+1 -0
Nah, I waste no lames on politics, which is pretty lame to begin with.
Nah, I waste no lames on politics, which is pretty lame to begin with.
dapooka
+0 -0
Well said.
Well said.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I think it's probably someone who either thinks they are cheap shots, or they just don't like political humor. I am a fan of both cheap shots and political humor, but it's not everybody's bag.
The reason I don't think it is anybody supporting McCain is because they're reading Achewood, which implies they have a sense of humor. There are no funny conservatives.
I think it's probably someone who either thinks they are cheap shots, or they just don't like political humor. I am a fan of both cheap shots and political humor, but it's not everybody's bag.
The reason I don't think it is anybody supporting McCain is because they're reading Achewood, which implies they have a sense of humor. There are no funny conservatives.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Drew Carey and Dave Barry are pretty funny conservatives.
(I believe Dave Barry is libertarian, however.)
Drew Carey and Dave Barry are pretty funny conservatives.
(I believe Dave Barry is libertarian, however.)
spinynorman
+1 -0
Also Anne Coulter is funny in that "you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry" kind of way.
Also Anne Coulter is funny in that "you have to laugh, otherwise you'd cry" kind of way.
aelindil
+1 -0
I love Anne Coulter because there are no sane people who can listen to her and say "wow, she makes some good points underneath all that frothing rage," which only does damage to her party.
I hate Anne Coulter because she also does damage to the religion she belongs to which I also happen to belong to. I don't much care to be associated with that .
I love Anne Coulter because there are no sane people who can listen to her and say "wow, she makes some good points underneath all that frothing rage," which only does damage to her party.
I hate Anne Coulter because she also does damage to the religion she belongs to which I also happen to belong to. I don't much care to be associated with that .
chachibenji
+0 -0
It's a Man, man.
It's a Man, man.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Dave Barry sputters and loses track of himself every time he appears on Real Time, but he's not terribly unfunny. He's okay, for a conservative . Maybe it's a male thing, because a lot of otherwise hilarious dudes I know think Dave Barry is funny.
Drew Carey is a libertarian, no doubt about it. I suppose I should rephrase my broad statement: There are no funny social conservatives.
I agree about Ann Coulter, she's just a goof.
Dave Barry sputters and loses track of himself every time he appears on Real Time, but he's not terribly unfunny. He's okay, for a conservative . Maybe it's a male thing, because a lot of otherwise hilarious dudes I know think Dave Barry is funny.
Drew Carey is a libertarian, no doubt about it. I suppose I should rephrase my broad statement: There are no funny social conservatives.
I agree about Ann Coulter, she's just a goof.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Probably no funny social conservatives, no.
I have no idea what Real Time is. Do you not know of Dave Barry's writings? Throughout the 80's and 90's he was considered the best humorist in America.
Probably no funny social conservatives, no.
I have no idea what Real Time is. Do you not know of Dave Barry's writings? Throughout the 80's and 90's he was considered the best humorist in America.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Real Time is Bill Maher's program on HBO. Comedy, I suppose, is very subjective. I think Dave Barry's reputation is inflated, and while he may have been the best humorist in America during that era, The Cosby Show was also considered to be the greatest sitcom.
There are outliers to any hypothesis, and I'll grant you Dave Barry, on the assumption that I just don't get him.
Real Time is Bill Maher's program on HBO. Comedy, I suppose, is very subjective. I think Dave Barry's reputation is inflated, and while he may have been the best humorist in America during that era, The Cosby Show was also considered to be the greatest sitcom.
There are outliers to any hypothesis, and I'll grant you Dave Barry, on the assumption that I just don't get him.
flazisismuss
+1 -0
Recall this was right before the Age of Irony. The Cosby show was largely pre-ironic, as were the great strips of Dave Barry. I used to read Dave Barry regularly as a kid. I thought it was funny at the time. Then came Seinfeld, and the Simpsons, and nothing has been the same since. So it's not that the 80s weren't funny, it's just that our collective sense of humor worked differently.
Recall this was right before the Age of Irony. The Cosby show was largely pre-ironic, as were the great strips of Dave Barry. I used to read Dave Barry regularly as a kid. I thought it was funny at the time. Then came Seinfeld, and the Simpsons, and nothing has been the same since. So it's not that the 80s weren't funny, it's just that our collective sense of humor worked differently.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Strips?
Strips?
divot
+1 -0
Flazisismuss is recalling the glory days of Dave Barry's pole-dancing career. I can't blame him; those were heady times.
Flazisismuss is recalling the glory days of Dave Barry's pole-dancing career. I can't blame him; those were heady times.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Naw, it's just that Dave Barry was never the funniest man in America. The coupling of occassional sardonic wit with the more common annoyingly goofy mugging was just really appreciated back then (see Robin Williams). I read a lot of my mom's Dave Barry books (she was a big fan) from when I was age 10-16, and thought he was hilarious. Then I grew up a little, and realized he was occasionally very funny but mostly repetitive and corny.
He has a habit of prolonging a good idea and running it into the ground, but not even in an interesting self-destructive (or "ironic") way. I always picture him now as the kind of guy who has some talent there and scratches the surface every once in a while (hey, he likes Achewood, so he's got the idea), but ultimately always thinks "how will this play in Peoria?"
Naw, it's just that Dave Barry was never the funniest man in America. The coupling of occassional sardonic wit with the more common annoyingly goofy mugging was just really appreciated back then (see Robin Williams). I read a lot of my mom's Dave Barry books (she was a big fan) from when I was age 10-16, and thought he was hilarious. Then I grew up a little, and realized he was occasionally very funny but mostly repetitive and corny.
He has a habit of prolonging a good idea and running it into the ground, but not even in an interesting self-destructive (or "ironic") way. I always picture him now as the kind of guy who has some talent there and scratches the surface every once in a while (hey, he likes Achewood, so he's got the idea), but ultimately always thinks "how will this play in Peoria?"
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I used to read Dave Barry's humor column when it ran in the paper I worked at. It was pretty decent. And yea, libertarians don't really count as conservatives for our purposes, since when it comes to humor (or most social interaction for that matter), you're far more likely to be discussing social issues than the specifics of economic policy. They tried to make that conservative version of the Daily Show (I think it was called the 1/2 Hour News Hour) and it was outright painful to watch.
I used to read Dave Barry's humor column when it ran in the paper I worked at. It was pretty decent. And yea, libertarians don't really count as conservatives for our purposes, since when it comes to humor (or most social interaction for that matter), you're far more likely to be discussing social issues than the specifics of economic policy. They tried to make that conservative version of the Daily Show (I think it was called the 1/2 Hour News Hour) and it was outright painful to watch.
pogo
+0 -0
Conservative's that make me laugh. Let's see, George Will can be highly humorous, and who is funnier than Rush Limbaugh?
Conservative's that make me laugh. Let's see, George Will can be highly humorous, and who is funnier than Rush Limbaugh?
yearsinhotclaws
+3 -0
Who is funnier than Rush Limbaugh?
idk maybe a series of increasingly loud beeps.
Who is funnier than Rush Limbaugh?
idk maybe a series of increasingly loud beeps.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
What I don't understand is how these wingnut liberal fascists can continue to come out in public and talk about their love for America. Doesn't love for America mean you should want to defend America? I mean COME ON people, what can a real , hard-working American even do these days?
What I don't understand is how these wingnut liberal fascists can continue to come out in public and talk about their love for America. Doesn't love for America mean you should want to defend America? I mean COME ON people, what can a real , hard-working American even do these days?
maximus
+0 -0
I urge you to save these posts on an archive-quality CD and revisit them in 20 years.
I urge you to save these posts on an archive-quality CD and revisit them in 20 years.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Five dollars says we're all dead in fifteen.
Five dollars says we're all dead in fifteen.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I'll take that bet
I'll take that bet
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Holy shit--not only was Drew Carey in the Marines, he looked kinda tough once.
[IMGS OFF]
Holy shit--not only was Drew Carey in the Marines, he looked kinda tough once.
[IMGS OFF]
onepapertiger
+0 -0
oh, the shame of it how do you post images come on guys help me
oh, the shame of it how do you post images come on guys help me
cromar
+0 -0
Check out the BBCode link that comes up when you are making a reply. It has instructions.
Check out the BBCode link that comes up when you are making a reply. It has instructions.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Graci. Now I'm going to get off assetbar, get myself cleaned up. Maybe go back to school... write that book.
Do somethin' nice for...s-somebody, *sniff*
I MEAN LOOK AT ME.
Graci. Now I'm going to get off assetbar, get myself cleaned up. Maybe go back to school... write that book.
Do somethin' nice for...s-somebody, *sniff*
I MEAN LOOK AT ME.
pogo
+0 -0
Enclose the URL with [img][/img]
Enclose the URL with [img][/img]
kickstart
+0 -0
way to pogo, pogo. the student has become the master.
way to pogo, pogo. the student has become the master.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
It's just weird to me. [IMGS OFF]
It's just weird to me. [IMGS OFF]
cromar
+0 -0
Now that is something to blow a mind... what the hell happened to him?!
Now that is something to blow a mind... what the hell happened to him?!
tekende
+0 -1
Many, many pizzas?
Many, many pizzas?
onepapertiger
+0 -0
"Cause of death?"
"Heh--pizza!"
"...Lou, don't be an asshole."
"Sorry sarge."
"Cause of death?"
"Heh--pizza!"
"...Lou, don't be an asshole."
"Sorry sarge."
octafish
+0 -0
What? No P.J. O'Roarke?
What? No P.J. O'Roarke?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
aww shit guys, when I was droning on about Dave Barry on Real Time, I really meant this guy!
Still, as far as I can see, interchangeable.
aww shit guys, when I was droning on about Dave Barry on Real Time, I really meant this guy!
Still, as far as I can see, interchangeable.
pogo
+1 -0
What? Dave Barry and P.J. O'Roarke do not even belong on the same planet of humor, much less be interchangeable. Barry is potty humor, good name for a band, and such, while O'Roarke is a socio-political genius.
What? Dave Barry and P.J. O'Roarke do not even belong on the same planet of humor, much less be interchangeable. Barry is potty humor, good name for a band, and such, while O'Roarke is a socio-political genius.
maximus
+0 -0
the unfunniness of that comment shows your ignorance of the situation. Most good conservative humorists are WAY funnier than the average post-ironic-Cheney-Haliburton-dick joke continuum favored by progressive humorists.
the unfunniness of that comment shows your ignorance of the situation. Most good conservative humorists are WAY funnier than the average post-ironic-Cheney-Haliburton-dick joke continuum favored by progressive humorists.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Is this directed at me? If so, I think you're taking it a little personally. I made an admittedly broad statement about conservatives in comedy. One that I'm willing to concede has it's outliers. They're not Dennis Miller, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Mark Levin, Savage Weiner, or Mallard Filmore. Feel free to point me towards some hilarious and wildly successful conservative humorists, as others have done (Dave Barry, P.J. O' Rourke).
You getting mean-spirited and suggesting I'm ignorant of some 'situation' does little to prove me wrong.
Comedy, like I said, is subjective. And I agree that some political jokes are hackneyed, "DICK cheney lol" and "Hilary's a dyke WOOOAGGH!" jokes included.
No need for you to get insulting over it.
Is this directed at me? If so, I think you're taking it a little personally. I made an admittedly broad statement about conservatives in comedy. One that I'm willing to concede has it's outliers. They're not Dennis Miller, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Mark Levin, Savage Weiner, or Mallard Filmore. Feel free to point me towards some hilarious and wildly successful conservative humorists, as others have done (Dave Barry, P.J. O' Rourke).
You getting mean-spirited and suggesting I'm ignorant of some 'situation' does little to prove me wrong.
Comedy, like I said, is subjective. And I agree that some political jokes are hackneyed, "DICK cheney lol" and "Hilary's a dyke WOOOAGGH!" jokes included.
No need for you to get insulting over it.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
God, I hate PJ O'Rourke. Not that funny, not anywhere near as intelligent as he thinks he is, and one of the most self-satisfied, smarmy pieces of shit in the media. I would rather listen to Pat Buchanan.
God, I hate PJ O'Rourke. Not that funny, not anywhere near as intelligent as he thinks he is, and one of the most self-satisfied, smarmy pieces of shit in the media. I would rather listen to Pat Buchanan.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
No, you were right the first time. Conservatism is basically synonymous with humorlessness. Exceptions prove the rule and all that. O'Rourke, to use an example above, is only occasionally funny as an outlier.
No, you were right the first time. Conservatism is basically synonymous with humorlessness. Exceptions prove the rule and all that. O'Rourke, to use an example above, is only occasionally funny as an outlier.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Not to be all post-ironic and part of the situation, but our current vice president shot a man in the FACE, and tried to cover it up. in the FACE. The problem with most conservative humorists (and I stress most, as there are exceptions to every sweeping generalization, including this one) is that they refuse to acknowledge the depths of absurdity conservative governance has taken us the last decade or so. in the FACE.
oh my god politics on the internet what is wrong with me
Not to be all post-ironic and part of the situation, but our current vice president shot a man in the FACE, and tried to cover it up. in the FACE. The problem with most conservative humorists (and I stress most, as there are exceptions to every sweeping generalization, including this one) is that they refuse to acknowledge the depths of absurdity conservative governance has taken us the last decade or so. in the FACE.
oh my god politics on the internet what is wrong with me
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Let's be fair here, it was bird shot. I've seen plenty of people who've be blasted with bird shot. It's like getting a money shot from a tranny: similar to the real thing, but you can't possible be hurt by it.
Let's be fair here, it was bird shot. I've seen plenty of people who've be blasted with bird shot. It's like getting a money shot from a tranny: similar to the real thing, but you can't possible be hurt by it.
doc_rostov
+3 -0
Remember when Ray had his "conjecture" that lesbians were funnier than normal people? It was a funny throwaway line, mostly because the premise is so absurd. This is of similar absurdity. I hate getting into these overwrought Assetbarguments, but I've worked for both the Democratic and Republican parties and I feel the need to clear something up. I've had tons of experience dealing with both liberals and conservatives, and enduring their respective brands of "humor." And, surprise! Neither are "funny" by nature at all.
As a culture we have a tendency to try and reduce incredibly complex things (like comedy) into a series of meaningless stereotypes. "Old people aren't funny." "Republicans have no sense of humor." "Liberals are funny people." They are rarely true. I don't know many people who are intrinsically funny at all, LEAST of all liberals. Those who think that mentioning that George W. Bush is from Texas or that Dick Cheney shot someone once creates an automatic joke certainly aren't very funny. They're good people, but that sort of humor isn't even interesting. It's lazy tripe, funny only to those who are willing to disengage their cerebral cortex whenever they come across political humor of their stripe.
There's such a thing as solid political humor, and it exists outside of ideological boundaries. When H.L. Mencken did politics, he couldn't be beat. George Will is wonderful. Colbert has his moments. But this idea that liberals are intrinsically more comedic than conservatives is ridiculous nonsense. Comedy exists outside of ideological, regional, or ethnic boundaries. Trying to classify it as "better" among certain groups is willfully blindsiding yourself to perfectly fine humor in order to attain some impossible purity of ideas. It's inextricably foolish, and for a group of people smart enough to read and appreciate Achewood, I'm not entirely sure why anyone here would tolerate that sort of mind-numbing crap.
Remember when Ray had his "conjecture" that lesbians were funnier than normal people? It was a funny throwaway line, mostly because the premise is so absurd. This is of similar absurdity. I hate getting into these overwrought Assetbarguments, but I've worked for both the Democratic and Republican parties and I feel the need to clear something up. I've had tons of experience dealing with both liberals and conservatives, and enduring their respective brands of "humor." And, surprise! Neither are "funny" by nature at all.
As a culture we have a tendency to try and reduce incredibly complex things (like comedy) into a series of meaningless stereotypes. "Old people aren't funny." "Republicans have no sense of humor." "Liberals are funny people." They are rarely true. I don't know many people who are intrinsically funny at all, LEAST of all liberals. Those who think that mentioning that George W. Bush is from Texas or that Dick Cheney shot someone once creates an automatic joke certainly aren't very funny. They're good people, but that sort of humor isn't even interesting. It's lazy tripe, funny only to those who are willing to disengage their cerebral cortex whenever they come across political humor of their stripe.
There's such a thing as solid political humor, and it exists outside of ideological boundaries. When H.L. Mencken did politics, he couldn't be beat. George Will is wonderful. Colbert has his moments. But this idea that liberals are intrinsically more comedic than conservatives is ridiculous nonsense. Comedy exists outside of ideological, regional, or ethnic boundaries. Trying to classify it as "better" among certain groups is willfully blindsiding yourself to perfectly fine humor in order to attain some impossible purity of ideas. It's inextricably foolish, and for a group of people smart enough to read and appreciate Achewood, I'm not entirely sure why anyone here would tolerate that sort of mind-numbing crap.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
a seventeen year old who has worked for both the Republican and Democratic party?
also, I'd rather not argue about what is funny/not funny anymore, and I never really intended to in the first place, although I can see how my initial comment would've created some sort of argument. It's totally subjective. Honestly though, you can't tell me there are just as many popular comedians who are also conservative, as there are popular comedians who are liberal.
And that certainly isn't because we're a liberal nation.
To be honest, I thought the whole "conservative comedy is not funny" was old hat. The 1/2 Hour Comedy Show, John Gibson's insistence that a white guy using hip-hop jargon is all it takes to win a Peabody, and John McCain's qt quip about Chelsea Clinton's ugliness was proof enough.
a seventeen year old who has worked for both the Republican and Democratic party?
also, I'd rather not argue about what is funny/not funny anymore, and I never really intended to in the first place, although I can see how my initial comment would've created some sort of argument. It's totally subjective. Honestly though, you can't tell me there are just as many popular comedians who are also conservative, as there are popular comedians who are liberal.
And that certainly isn't because we're a liberal nation.
To be honest, I thought the whole "conservative comedy is not funny" was old hat. The 1/2 Hour Comedy Show, John Gibson's insistence that a white guy using hip-hop jargon is all it takes to win a Peabody, and John McCain's qt quip about Chelsea Clinton's ugliness was proof enough.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
This is a point I should've made earlier anyway, but I thought it would just be understood: I refer only to professionals. I'm sure there are a few funny people walking around on this Earth who have conservative leanings, I don't doubt that.
On the professional level though, pickings, they be slim.
This is a point I should've made earlier anyway, but I thought it would just be understood: I refer only to professionals. I'm sure there are a few funny people walking around on this Earth who have conservative leanings, I don't doubt that.
On the professional level though, pickings, they be slim.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Don't think I don't understand, and in fact, agree with your argument (if not the tone), but, easy or not, the fact that our vice-president shot someone in the face is goddamn hilarious, apart from political ideology.
I was lazy in my argument, yes, but as far as humor in the public forum, I think one would be hard pressed to find a consistent public voice on the conservative end of the spectrum that is more than an exception proving the rule. One of my oldest, closest friends is a dyed-in-the-wool Goldwater Republican and constantly makes cracks at the my ideology that I can and do appreciate and laugh at.
But he doesn't have a talk show because the mediapolis doesn't have an outlet for conservative wit. Liberals, while obviously having a liberal bias, often do an excellent job of lampooning themselves, thus leaving no space for a conservative to make his mark. The ones who get to the public forum get there because they cater to the kneejerk far right idiocy that you describe in your post, since that isn't fulfilled by the "mainstream".
I would love to go on, but this is the stupidest, stupidest possible place to have this discussion.
P.S.: Bush looks like a monkey!
Don't think I don't understand, and in fact, agree with your argument (if not the tone), but, easy or not, the fact that our vice-president shot someone in the face is goddamn hilarious, apart from political ideology.
I was lazy in my argument, yes, but as far as humor in the public forum, I think one would be hard pressed to find a consistent public voice on the conservative end of the spectrum that is more than an exception proving the rule. One of my oldest, closest friends is a dyed-in-the-wool Goldwater Republican and constantly makes cracks at the my ideology that I can and do appreciate and laugh at.
But he doesn't have a talk show because the mediapolis doesn't have an outlet for conservative wit. Liberals, while obviously having a liberal bias, often do an excellent job of lampooning themselves, thus leaving no space for a conservative to make his mark. The ones who get to the public forum get there because they cater to the kneejerk far right idiocy that you describe in your post, since that isn't fulfilled by the "mainstream".
I would love to go on, but this is the stupidest, stupidest possible place to have this discussion.
P.S.: Bush looks like a monkey!
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
them albanians shure has a tuff time getting TV shows. i doubt meny of dem ar efunny at all
them albanians shure has a tuff time getting TV shows. i doubt meny of dem ar efunny at all
doc_rostov
+0 -0
LOL hey gladi8 u game 4 som prieme comady c0z gess wut dI kk c h eny shott somoune IN TH A FACE forreal i t do e snot get m an y betr lo l s tahn that guys not evn if u tokk bout timoteo l e ary like pete townserhendrix (lol)
LOL hey gladi8 u game 4 som prieme comady c0z gess wut d
autrepoupee
+0 -0
This is true, I worry we're all just going to get ultra-lamed for talking about politics on the Achewood Community Assetbar.
anybody who wishes to continue, join me at dozens of others at argumentsthatbytheirverynaturecannotbewon.com .
On the real, I ought to just end my part of this like such: In the interest of full disclosure, I'm an absolute bleeding-heart, violin-playing liberal. So, my taste in humor must run along those lines. Weak humor is weak humor, wherever it may come from.
This is true, I worry we're all just going to get ultra-lamed for talking about politics on the Achewood Community Assetbar.
anybody who wishes to continue, join me at dozens of others at argumentsthatbytheirverynaturecannotbewon.com .
On the real, I ought to just end my part of this like such: In the interest of full disclosure, I'm an absolute bleeding-heart, violin-playing liberal. So, my taste in humor must run along those lines. Weak humor is weak humor, wherever it may come from.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
My thought, as an economics major, is that it's mostly a market effect. Liberals tend to watch/buy more comedy than conservatives, and as thus, the material (and those who succeed) in the field tends to be skewed towards the buying demographic. Conservative humorists have trouble cashing in because conservatives tend to eschew making a concerted effort to partake in humor they have to buy. Nature of their preferred brand, really.
I agree, however. This is really a horrible place to have an argument. I didn't really intend to argue further. I just thought that leaving my point unsaid would have been rather silly if the argument were to flare up again with others at the helm. Also, full disclosure. Politically, I'm hard right on essentially all economic issues and a classical liberal on social issues and foreign policy. Merry Christmas.
Also: I volunteered (and got paid once or twice, for some odd reason) for the Kerry campaign when I was 14 and worked/volunteered for the Republican party for a very short stint this year. Granted, that ended when McCain got the nomination, but oh well.
I'm glad we all had this discussion, brosevelts.
My thought, as an economics major, is that it's mostly a market effect. Liberals tend to watch/buy more comedy than conservatives, and as thus, the material (and those who succeed) in the field tends to be skewed towards the buying demographic. Conservative humorists have trouble cashing in because conservatives tend to eschew making a concerted effort to partake in humor they have to buy. Nature of their preferred brand, really.
I agree, however. This is really a horrible place to have an argument. I didn't really intend to argue further. I just thought that leaving my point unsaid would have been rather silly if the argument were to flare up again with others at the helm. Also, full disclosure. Politically, I'm hard right on essentially all economic issues and a classical liberal on social issues and foreign policy. Merry Christmas.
Also: I volunteered (and got paid once or twice, for some odd reason) for the Kerry campaign when I was 14 and worked/volunteered for the Republican party for a very short stint this year. Granted, that ended when McCain got the nomination, but oh well.
I'm glad we all had this discussion, brosevelts.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Its ok man we all still love huckabee he woulda been superfab but hey there was an older whiter war vet nearby so shoot and dang to that yknow.
Its ok man we all still love huckabee he woulda been superfab but hey there was an older whiter war vet nearby so shoot and dang to that yknow.
tekende
+0 -1
Okay, now I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive it was not in the face, but in, like, the hindquarters or something. Also, how did he try to "cover it up"? He made public statements about it, like, two days later.
Okay, now I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive it was not in the face, but in, like, the hindquarters or something. Also, how did he try to "cover it up"? He made public statements about it, like, two days later.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I like my political comedy in the form of Phil Hartman banging on a piano and singing
TWINKLE TWINKLE KENNETH STARR
SPECIAL WHITE HOUSE PROCECUTARRRR
"That's really all I've got so far."
I like my political comedy in the form of Phil Hartman banging on a piano and singing
TWINKLE TWINKLE KENNETH STARR
SPECIAL WHITE HOUSE PROCECUTARRRR
"That's really all I've got so far."
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
When Johnny comes marching home again
HE'S GAY! HE'S GAY!
When Johnny comes marching home again
HE'S GAY! HE'S GAY!
kickstart
+0 -0
Someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dole, someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dooooole. Say, does anyone know if Bob Dole cooks?
Someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dole, someone's in the kitchen with Bob Dooooole. Say, does anyone know if Bob Dole cooks?
hamscout
+1 -0
DOES HE?!?
[IMGS OFF]
DOES HE?!?
[IMGS OFF]
kickstart
+0 -0
oh, that was great, Hamscout. The spoon is just too perfect!
oh, that was great, Hamscout. The spoon is just too perfect!
aelindil
+0 -0
If I missed that man any harder, he'd reanimate simply to burst into flames.
If I missed that man any harder, he'd reanimate simply to burst into flames.
phy
+0 -0
That's him in your av then?
That's him in your av then?
thorfinn
+0 -0
Nope, it was in the face, Cheney was looking into the sun, and violated one of the cardinal rules of hunting, which is to make sure you know the location of everyone in your party before firing at anything, and shot his buddy in the face. But it was birdshot, at distance, so it didn't do any serious damage.
Nope, it was in the face, Cheney was looking into the sun, and violated one of the cardinal rules of hunting, which is to make sure you know the location of everyone in your party before firing at anything, and shot his buddy in the face. But it was birdshot, at distance, so it didn't do any serious damage.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
All pulling the lever on a giant piece of construction equipment, causing 20 tons of industrial concrete blocks to land on a left mouse button at the bottom of a gravel quarry.
Jamie and Adam all high-fiving and explaining the science involved on the high speed camera.
All pulling the lever on a giant piece of construction equipment, causing 20 tons of industrial concrete blocks to land on a left mouse button at the bottom of a gravel quarry.
Jamie and Adam all high-fiving and explaining the science involved on the high speed camera.
professorhazard
+1 -0
Adam later getting drunk and all pulling his butthole open on the Internet
Adam later getting drunk and all pulling his butthole open on the Internet
whiteturtle
+0 -0
that is not adam, it is not him, jesus why did you make me have to find out about that
that is not adam, it is not him, jesus why did you make me have to find out about that
professorhazard
+0 -0
I do it because I am a bad friend.
I do it because I am a bad friend.
cpnglxynchos
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
spectre
+0 -0
I gotta admit, I never figured Showbiz for a pro-war type. Even if he doesn't understand the first fucking thing about it.
I gotta admit, I never figured Showbiz for a pro-war type. Even if he doesn't understand the first fucking thing about it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That's WHY he'd be pro-war.
Have you ever actually TALKED to a pro-war voter? They still think that Saddam and Osama had an unholy alliance (even though they hated each other) and they still insist on bringing up the fact that Barack Obama didn't wear a flag pin that one time.
Being in the South and also going to church puts me i a position where I am around a lot of close-minded conservatives that actually think FOX is fair and balanced.
What scares me are the ones that watch it because it is conservative.
That's WHY he'd be pro-war.
Have you ever actually TALKED to a pro-war voter? They still think that Saddam and Osama had an unholy alliance (even though they hated each other) and they still insist on bringing up the fact that Barack Obama didn't wear a flag pin that one time.
Being in the South and also going to church puts me i a position where I am around a lot of close-minded conservatives that actually think FOX is fair and balanced.
What scares me are the ones that watch it because it is conservative.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I also live in the South (more or less), and it isn't uncommon to find people who don't know the difference between Osama and Saddam. I was told not long ago that one of the 9/11 hijackers was Obama's brother. Tequiza would be a high-class drink to these people.
I also live in the South (more or less), and it isn't uncommon to find people who don't know the difference between Osama and Saddam. I was told not long ago that one of the 9/11 hijackers was Obama's brother. Tequiza would be a high-class drink to these people.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Aaah. The middle bit of america. The bit you fly over, to save your mind.
Aaah. The middle bit of america. The bit you fly over, to save your mind.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The South is not a flyover area, if you are flying over Florida or Virginia (the two Southern States I've lived you) to get somewhere else you are wasting fuel.
The South is not a flyover area, if you are flying over Florida or Virginia (the two Southern States I've lived you) to get somewhere else you are wasting fuel.
tekende
+1 -2
Yup, we're all a bunch of dumbass yokels out here, lemme tell ya. We spend Tuesday evenings in peaceful conversation about how much we hate the darkies, and on Saturdays we all go out for queer-lynching!
You fucking douchebag.
Yup, we're all a bunch of dumbass yokels out here, lemme tell ya. We spend Tuesday evenings in peaceful conversation about how much we hate the darkies, and on Saturdays we all go out for queer-lynching!
You fucking douchebag.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, falseprophet, tellumo, cromar)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, falseprophet, tellumo, cromar)
achilleselbow
+1 -0
It's a good thing he keeps reminding us of this, because you never know when it might happen.
It's a good thing he keeps reminding us of this, because you never know when it might happen.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm vchubbing you right in the small of your back.
I'm vchubbing you right in the small of your back.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
and i'm vchubbing YOU for precisely locating the target of a well placed vchub.
and i'm vchubbing YOU for precisely locating the target of a well placed vchub.
genkisudo
+1 -1
Jew with an erection ran into the wall - and broke his nose!
Jew with an erection ran into the wall - and broke his nose!
daidai
+0 -0
I'm not Jewish.
I'm not Jewish.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Well, uh, do you have a small penis?
Well, uh, do you have a small penis?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Your new avatar fits pretty much anything.
"There's nothing I can tempt you with...? Well, uh, do you have a small penis?"
Your new avatar fits pretty much anything.
"There's nothing I can tempt you with...? Well, uh, do you have a small penis?"
lawbot
+0 -0
Why do you keep posting this? Do you find it that hard to come up with new material?
You are on the road to perdition.
Why do you keep posting this? Do you find it that hard to come up with new material?
You are on the road to perdition.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Seconded, Tekende. We have trees and back yards here, asshole.
Seconded, Tekende. We have trees and back yards here, asshole.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
(From stalkering Tekende's MySpave page, I'm betting we came from the EXACT same area) I was commenting on our local flavor of idiot. I've traveled enough to spot the distinctions in idiocy wherever you go, especially on the coasts. For instance, did you know many people on the outskirts of the country believe themselves innately more intelligent than those in the middle?
(From stalkering Tekende's MySpave page, I'm betting we came from the EXACT same area) I was commenting on our local flavor of idiot. I've traveled enough to spot the distinctions in idiocy wherever you go, especially on the coasts. For instance, did you know many people on the outskirts of the country believe themselves innately more intelligent than those in the middle?
tekende
+0 -1
This is the case at times, yes. I'm just tired of this idea that the middle part of the US, especially the south, is full of nothing but hateful racist idiots. There are people like that here, sure, but not nearly as many as a lot of people seem to think. And there are people like that on the coasts, too. And (*gasp*) in other countries as well!
(The fucking douchebag remark was directed at hbaranov, not you, just to make sure that's clear.)
This is the case at times, yes. I'm just tired of this idea that the middle part of the US, especially the south, is full of nothing but hateful racist idiots. There are people like that here, sure, but not nearly as many as a lot of people seem to think. And there are people like that on the coasts, too. And (*gasp*) in other countries as well!
(The fucking douchebag remark was directed at hbaranov, not you, just to make sure that's clear.)
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Well, hbaranov is British, so the whole coastal elitism thing doesn't even apply here. But I mean it's a statistical fact that the Bible Belt states have poorer education systems, lower high school graduation/college enrollment rates, higher teen pregnancy rates, and let's not forget that they elected Bush twice. The caveats are a) the South and the Midwest are not the same thing, b) it's more of a rural/urban divide than a regional thing, and the coasts just have a higher concentration of cities, and c) none of this applies to anyone here anyway. I'm saying this all rather disinterestedly. I never really understood the concept of regional pride, since you're all citizens of the same country and can just pick up and move wherever the hell you want, but then again, I wasn't even born here.
I will say, however, that I appreciate the fact that you can spend most of your life in New York without ever encountering the kinds of people you described. Sure, you get other annoyances like hipsters instead, but relatively speaking it seems like an easy choice, unless you kind of enjoy being an iconoclast among people you can feel superior to. I guess outside of the coasts it's also easier to connect with people who have common interests since there's relatively few of you and you're surrounded by a more hostile culture (like in SLC Punk), whereas here you just get lost in a sea of others who are more or less similar. So whatever. To each his own.
Well, hbaranov is British, so the whole coastal elitism thing doesn't even apply here. But I mean it's a statistical fact that the Bible Belt states have poorer education systems, lower high school graduation/college enrollment rates, higher teen pregnancy rates, and let's not forget that they elected Bush twice. The caveats are a) the South and the Midwest are not the same thing, b) it's more of a rural/urban divide than a regional thing, and the coasts just have a higher concentration of cities, and c) none of this applies to anyone here anyway. I'm saying this all rather disinterestedly. I never really understood the concept of regional pride, since you're all citizens of the same country and can just pick up and move wherever the hell you want, but then again, I wasn't even born here.
I will say, however, that I appreciate the fact that you can spend most of your life in New York without ever encountering the kinds of people you described. Sure, you get other annoyances like hipsters instead, but relatively speaking it seems like an easy choice, unless you kind of enjoy being an iconoclast among people you can feel superior to. I guess outside of the coasts it's also easier to connect with people who have common interests since there's relatively few of you and you're surrounded by a more hostile culture (like in SLC Punk), whereas here you just get lost in a sea of others who are more or less similar. So whatever. To each his own.
tekende
+0 -1
It's not really a "regional pride" thing; I'm not incredibly pro-south or anything. But at the same time, I don't really appreciate that people think my home is full of dumbasses when it really isn't. Kind of like living in a a cheap apartment--you don't really take PRIDE in it, per se, but you don't want people complaining that it smells bad either.
Quote:
Same here in Oklahoma, and probably most other states. I don't think I've ever really had an encounter with the kind of people generally assumed to live here.
It's not really a "regional pride" thing; I'm not incredibly pro-south or anything. But at the same time, I don't really appreciate that people think my home is full of dumbasses when it really isn't. Kind of like living in a a cheap apartment--you don't really take PRIDE in it, per se, but you don't want people complaining that it smells bad either.
Quote:
you can spend most of your life in New York without ever encountering the kinds of people you described.
Same here in Oklahoma, and probably most other states. I don't think I've ever really had an encounter with the kind of people generally assumed to live here.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I've never even talked to some stereotypical Midwestern oaf long enough to rob them.
I'm not necessarily proud of the Midwest, but I'm not ashamed either. The assumption that all people who live here are plebes, fools, and eye rubbing, mouth-breathing white trash is enough to drive you into the arms of regional pride, though.
BLOOD ON THE SCARECROW
RAIN ON THE PLOOOOOW
I've never even talked to some stereotypical Midwestern oaf long enough to rob them.
I'm not necessarily proud of the Midwest, but I'm not ashamed either. The assumption that all people who live here are plebes, fools, and eye rubbing, mouth-breathing white trash is enough to drive you into the arms of regional pride, though.
BLOOD ON THE SCARECROW
RAIN ON THE PLOOOOOW
hedonismbot
+2 -0
I've met plenty of the dumbass rednecks, you just have to look for them (I grew up in Edmond, so you had to look hard). I can say that I've had a coupla Slavish New Yorkers try to kidnap me in Manhattan, which never happens here. If you can't find criminally ignorant people in New York, you aren't looking in bars, alleys, or anywhere really. I only go up there to be on Wall Street, and I still can't throw a rock without hitting someone who thinks Bush caused 9/11.
I've met plenty of the dumbass rednecks, you just have to look for them (I grew up in Edmond, so you had to look hard). I can say that I've had a coupla Slavish New Yorkers try to kidnap me in Manhattan, which never happens here. If you can't find criminally ignorant people in New York, you aren't looking in bars, alleys, or anywhere really. I only go up there to be on Wall Street, and I still can't throw a rock without hitting someone who thinks Bush caused 9/11.
fineoakstructure
+2 -1
You gotta be kidding about that New York comment. I've run into way more violently ignorant New Yorkers than Southerners. And I currently live in the South.
You gotta be kidding about that New York comment. I've run into way more violently ignorant New Yorkers than Southerners. And I currently live in the South.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
There's really no way to argue this except from personal experience. I guess it just depends on the kind of circles you associate with, and you're probably not likely to meet someone who embodies ALL the stereotypes anywhere. Sure, there are ignorant people everywhere, but there are different types of ignorance. All I know is that I've never encountered anyone here who didn't believe in evolution or thought that atheists and gays were gonna burn in hell, but these people do exist somewhere.
On the other hand, I know someone who grew up in Tennessee, and she had to put up with a lot of shit because she was Asian, whether it was outright racism, like people yelling "me love you long time" out of car windows, or more subtle ignorance like someone asking her "so where do Buddhists go to church on Sundays?" on no other basis than her appearance. Not to mention she and the few other Asian kids in the school had to pretend to be Christian in order to fit in. And this isn't someone who's particularly PC or inclined to pick up on offensive things either. None of my Asian friends who grew up here have experienced anything even slightly similar (not least because there are many more of them - about 40% in my high school). I can't really speak as to the experience of black people or other minorities in the South, but I can hardly imagine it being better. So all I'm saying is that my general impression is that the overall cultural vibe is somewhat less progressive, which is borne out by things like voting patterns and polls on whether people are 'comfortable' with a black president or interracial marriage.
There's really no way to argue this except from personal experience. I guess it just depends on the kind of circles you associate with, and you're probably not likely to meet someone who embodies ALL the stereotypes anywhere. Sure, there are ignorant people everywhere, but there are different types of ignorance. All I know is that I've never encountered anyone here who didn't believe in evolution or thought that atheists and gays were gonna burn in hell, but these people do exist somewhere.
On the other hand, I know someone who grew up in Tennessee, and she had to put up with a lot of shit because she was Asian, whether it was outright racism, like people yelling "me love you long time" out of car windows, or more subtle ignorance like someone asking her "so where do Buddhists go to church on Sundays?" on no other basis than her appearance. Not to mention she and the few other Asian kids in the school had to pretend to be Christian in order to fit in. And this isn't someone who's particularly PC or inclined to pick up on offensive things either. None of my Asian friends who grew up here have experienced anything even slightly similar (not least because there are many more of them - about 40% in my high school). I can't really speak as to the experience of black people or other minorities in the South, but I can hardly imagine it being better. So all I'm saying is that my general impression is that the overall cultural vibe is somewhat less progressive, which is borne out by things like voting patterns and polls on whether people are 'comfortable' with a black president or interracial marriage.
genkisudo
+0 -0
Asian males born before 1960 and past 1975 totally dodged the bullet called Sixteen Candles. In it's aftermath were the incessant jeers to repeat lines from Long Duk Dong.
People been dodging these kind of serious bullets all throughout history. That's because people are special.
//note: pertinence - minimal
Asian males born before 1960 and past 1975 totally dodged the bullet called Sixteen Candles. In it's aftermath were the incessant jeers to repeat lines from Long Duk Dong.
People been dodging these kind of serious bullets all throughout history. That's because people are special.
//note: pertinence - minimal
bixschmix
+0 -0
All right now. I grew up UU in Texas, and I got a lot of shit for it (being called "heathen," being told I didn't have the "morals" to be on 8th grade student council, etc etc etc). I don't particularly want to get involved in this discussion right now, but I do want to address one sentence you wrote: "she and the few other Asian kids in the school had to pretend to be Christian in order to fit in." I can't even put into words how wrong and sad that is. That was a choice that she personally made to fit in, not one that was made for her by "ignorant southern culture." If you're going to pretend to be a religion you're not just so assholes will like you, then you obviously didn't feel too strongly about your original religion in the first place.
All right now. I grew up UU in Texas, and I got a lot of shit for it (being called "heathen," being told I didn't have the "morals" to be on 8th grade student council, etc etc etc). I don't particularly want to get involved in this discussion right now, but I do want to address one sentence you wrote: "she and the few other Asian kids in the school had to pretend to be Christian in order to fit in." I can't even put into words how wrong and sad that is. That was a choice that she personally made to fit in, not one that was made for her by "ignorant southern culture." If you're going to pretend to be a religion you're not just so assholes will like you, then you obviously didn't feel too strongly about your original religion in the first place.
thorfinn
+0 -0
What is UU, these letters do not stand for any religion I can think of off the top of my head. Either that or they stand for a religion I know of but can't remember at this moment, which would make me feel silly.
What is UU, these letters do not stand for any religion I can think of off the top of my head. Either that or they stand for a religion I know of but can't remember at this moment, which would make me feel silly.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Unitarian Universalist. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism
The only church I ever went to growing up--and even that was only a few times.
Unitarian Universalist. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism
The only church I ever went to growing up--and even that was only a few times.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I went to a UU church when I was young. I think it was because they accepted all faiths and my Dad was raised Baptist and my Mom was raised Catholic. We went until I was like six. Then we just didn't wake up on Sunday mornings anymore.
I went to a UU church when I was young. I think it was because they accepted all faiths and my Dad was raised Baptist and my Mom was raised Catholic. We went until I was like six. Then we just didn't wake up on Sunday mornings anymore.
spinynorman
+0 -0
One of my favorite jokes from Garrison Keillor is, "How do you know when you've made a Unitarian mad?
When you wake up and find a burning question mark on your front lawn."
One of my favorite jokes from Garrison Keillor is, "How do you know when you've made a Unitarian mad?
When you wake up and find a burning question mark on your front lawn."
hamscout
+0 -0
I got married in a UU church because the nit-picky Lutherans (that I was raised with) didn't like that I lived with my fiancee... I got a letter from a "concerned" aunt/uncle who wanted to point out that the UU's were going to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks...
I got married in a UU church because the nit-picky Lutherans (that I was raised with) didn't like that I lived with my fiancee... I got a letter from a "concerned" aunt/uncle who wanted to point out that the UU's were going to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks...
bixschmix
+0 -0
The Simpsons also has a half-dozen hilarious UU jokes scattered throughout.
Also, I stopped going when I was 12, but I still identify as a UU. And anybody that pretends to be a religion they're not to fit in... well, it's hard to lose all respect for someone you don't know, but, uh, I have.
Also: Achilles, this is not an argument you can ever win because you're arguing from ignorance. If you had spent time in the south, we could talk. But hearsay on Tennessee is not a way to judge the whole south-- hell, it's not even a way to judge Tennessee.
The Simpsons also has a half-dozen hilarious UU jokes scattered throughout.
Also, I stopped going when I was 12, but I still identify as a UU. And anybody that pretends to be a religion they're not to fit in... well, it's hard to lose all respect for someone you don't know, but, uh, I have.
Also: Achilles, this is not an argument you can ever win because you're arguing from ignorance. If you had spent time in the south, we could talk. But hearsay on Tennessee is not a way to judge the whole south-- hell, it's not even a way to judge Tennessee.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Would you like a scoop of Unitarian ice cream?
Would you like a scoop of Unitarian ice cream?
bixschmix
+0 -0
But there's nothing there!
But there's nothing there!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Exactly!
Exactly!
bixschmix
+0 -0
(ba dum CHING)
(ba dum CHING)
spinynorman
+0 -0
I base all my judgements on Tennessee on their ribs, which are delicious, but are not so when you are barfing them all over your brother's dorm room at the tender age of 18 the night before he graduates
I base all my judgements on Tennessee on their ribs, which are delicious, but are not so when you are barfing them all over your brother's dorm room at the tender age of 18 the night before he graduates
bixschmix
+0 -0
mmmmm memphis dry rub
mmmmm memphis dry rub
tekende
+0 -1
The Memphis dry rub is a safe alternative to moisture-style touches. It is often mentioned in sex education classes as a way to have fun with your partner without risk of pregnancy or disease.
The Memphis dry rub is a safe alternative to moisture-style touches. It is often mentioned in sex education classes as a way to have fun with your partner without risk of pregnancy or disease.
bixschmix
+0 -0
You can play with yourself... you can play with a friend... or you can just rock the Memphis Dry Rub.
You can play with yourself... you can play with a friend... or you can just rock the Memphis Dry Rub.
ethelthefrog
+2 -0
"I appreciate the fact that you can spend most of your life in New York without ever encountering the kinds of people you described."
Oh, achilles. Who's being naive now?
"I appreciate the fact that you can spend most of your life in New York without ever encountering the kinds of people you described."
Oh, achilles. Who's being naive now?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm not saying they don't exist here, I'm just saying it's possible to go about your life without ever coming into contact with them, as I and many others have. I remember there was an NYT article right after the 2004 election where they were talking about the massive disconnect New Yorkers felt from the rest of America and a lot of the people they interviewed said they didn't even know anyone who voted for Bush. I think the actual breakdown for the city was something like 90% Democratic, and I'd be willing to wager that most of the other 10% were Wall Street types who just didn't care much about the social issues. I just don't think it's such a big deal to admit statistical facts - it's not like it reflects poorly on you personally.
I'm not saying they don't exist here, I'm just saying it's possible to go about your life without ever coming into contact with them, as I and many others have. I remember there was an NYT article right after the 2004 election where they were talking about the massive disconnect New Yorkers felt from the rest of America and a lot of the people they interviewed said they didn't even know anyone who voted for Bush. I think the actual breakdown for the city was something like 90% Democratic, and I'd be willing to wager that most of the other 10% were Wall Street types who just didn't care much about the social issues. I just don't think it's such a big deal to admit statistical facts - it's not like it reflects poorly on you personally.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Heh. "Statistical facts". That's a very silly term.
Heh. "Statistical facts". That's a very silly term.
genkisudo
+0 -0
four out of five dentists agree
four out of five dentists agree
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Oh, I know very well that statistics about the south or my state don't reflect on me personally. In fact--I, too, didn't know anyone among my friends and acquaintances who voted for Bush in 2004. This was in Texas. Where I've lived for most of my life. I also do not do the "regional pride" thing. Neither do most of the people with whom I associate. Nor do I know how to ride a horse, or raise cattle, or cook chili, or stun rattlesnakes just by looking at them and saying "Tommy Lee Jones" three times then spitting chaw out the right side of my mouth.
No, it's not a big deal at all to admit statistical facts. It's the intent of their use.
Oh, I know very well that statistics about the south or my state don't reflect on me personally. In fact--I, too, didn't know anyone among my friends and acquaintances who voted for Bush in 2004. This was in Texas. Where I've lived for most of my life. I also do not do the "regional pride" thing. Neither do most of the people with whom I associate. Nor do I know how to ride a horse, or raise cattle, or cook chili, or stun rattlesnakes just by looking at them and saying "Tommy Lee Jones" three times then spitting chaw out the right side of my mouth.
No, it's not a big deal at all to admit statistical facts. It's the intent of their use.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I'm completely with you on the whole "regional pride" thing, Ethel. I've lived here thirteen years and am regularly told by my Austin-born friend that I'm "not allowed to be Texan." Because I'm from Louisiana, originally. When I first moved here at the age of 10 the amount of pride in Texas stunned me. I've never lived in a place where they said the state pledge after the national pledge.
It's a funny thing, you know. As Americans we have two great ideals: there's individual rights and the concept that it's not what you are or where you're from that makes you, but what you choose yourself - and the concept of home, of region, of keeping to your own. It's good to have a people, to try and live up to this vague ideal that comes from being Texan and American, or black or Latino, to keep to a heritage. Even if that heritage derives its legitimacy from the simple creed of "that's how it's been done since forever, and 100 years of people can't be all wrong" or the arbitrary introduction of melanin into the skin.
I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to live up to being Texan, or Southern, or White or Irish. No, Texas and America and everyone else is going to have to live up to me . I'll strive for excellency on my own terms, and make my own moral decisions, and if I do it well enough then eventually they'll scramble to claim me as their own, and hopefully I'll leave something good in my wake.
Or not. I suppose time will tell.
I'm completely with you on the whole "regional pride" thing, Ethel. I've lived here thirteen years and am regularly told by my Austin-born friend that I'm "not allowed to be Texan." Because I'm from Louisiana, originally. When I first moved here at the age of 10 the amount of pride in Texas stunned me. I've never lived in a place where they said the state pledge after the national pledge.
It's a funny thing, you know. As Americans we have two great ideals: there's individual rights and the concept that it's not what you are or where you're from that makes you, but what you choose yourself - and the concept of home, of region, of keeping to your own. It's good to have a people, to try and live up to this vague ideal that comes from being Texan and American, or black or Latino, to keep to a heritage. Even if that heritage derives its legitimacy from the simple creed of "that's how it's been done since forever, and 100 years of people can't be all wrong" or the arbitrary introduction of melanin into the skin.
I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to live up to being Texan, or Southern, or White or Irish. No, Texas and America and everyone else is going to have to live up to me . I'll strive for excellency on my own terms, and make my own moral decisions, and if I do it well enough then eventually they'll scramble to claim me as their own, and hopefully I'll leave something good in my wake.
Or not. I suppose time will tell.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
"not allowed to be Texan".. I used to hear that a lot.. but I lived in a rural area of Texas. Even by Texas standards. I grew up and had most of my education from the state of FL so I was really suprised when I found out I had *just* missed going to a "Texas History" class. There were a lot of great people in Texas but there were a lot more of them who were pretty much walking talking stereotypes of the people I imagined in Texas.
/rant
"not allowed to be Texan".. I used to hear that a lot.. but I lived in a rural area of Texas. Even by Texas standards. I grew up and had most of my education from the state of FL so I was really suprised when I found out I had *just* missed going to a "Texas History" class. There were a lot of great people in Texas but there were a lot more of them who were pretty much walking talking stereotypes of the people I imagined in Texas.
/rant
spinynorman
+0 -0
The most loudmouthed racist I know is from Rochester, New York. This is the same man who said, "Man, my sister's datin' some Jewbag. Well, I don't want to sound racist or nuttin', but he IS a Mets fan." As though that explained it.
The default mode for most people is "shithead."
The most loudmouthed racist I know is from Rochester, New York. This is the same man who said, "Man, my sister's datin' some Jewbag. Well, I don't want to sound racist or nuttin', but he IS a Mets fan." As though that explained it.
The default mode for most people is "shithead."
spinynorman
+0 -0
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I live in Texas.
Also, the only skinhead I ever met was from Pennsylvania. He had a Shultzstaffen tattoo on his pec, but he didn't know what it meant. He wound up covering it up with a star, but that didn't mean he started liking Jews, blacks, queers, dykes, and let's not forget the Mexicans.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I live in Texas.
Also, the only skinhead I ever met was from Pennsylvania. He had a Shultzstaffen tattoo on his pec, but he didn't know what it meant. He wound up covering it up with a star, but that didn't mean he started liking Jews, blacks, queers, dykes, and let's not forget the Mexicans.
cromar
+0 -0
I'm not sure where to reply, so I'll do it here, but I thought some hard facts might be relevant to this discussion.
Hate crimes by state (Interesting but obviously not all states have the same "hate" legislation. I hate hate legislation, but it's a useful-ish statistic.)
Overall crime by state/region
Education by state
Income by state
Teen births per capita by state
If you look at the facts, the states really are not that much different per capita. The best generalization you could make about the US is that we are all more or less homogeneous in such things as racism, education, intelligence, economy, etc.
I'm not sure where to reply, so I'll do it here, but I thought some hard facts might be relevant to this discussion.
Hate crimes by state (Interesting but obviously not all states have the same "hate" legislation. I hate hate legislation, but it's a useful-ish statistic.)
Overall crime by state/region
Education by state
Income by state
Teen births per capita by state
If you look at the facts, the states really are not that much different per capita. The best generalization you could make about the US is that we are all more or less homogeneous in such things as racism, education, intelligence, economy, etc.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'll go ahead and clarify my post above about statistics and facts. I'm pretty close to a professional statistician, and it's a clear matter of correlation and causation. Stats correlate data, facts are a sign of causation. Saying an area of the country is dumber than another is meaningless. Saying it trends that way is neat, like saying women tend to be dumber because historically (over the history of civilization) women have received less education. It isn't causative, it doesn't 'mean' anything concrete. Calling a region 'flyover' is a pretty strong statement about your views on the region, and if all you can state is correlation regarding that area, you really have a weak basis for your statement.
I'll go ahead and clarify my post above about statistics and facts. I'm pretty close to a professional statistician, and it's a clear matter of correlation and causation. Stats correlate data, facts are a sign of causation. Saying an area of the country is dumber than another is meaningless. Saying it trends that way is neat, like saying women tend to be dumber because historically (over the history of civilization) women have received less education. It isn't causative, it doesn't 'mean' anything concrete. Calling a region 'flyover' is a pretty strong statement about your views on the region, and if all you can state is correlation regarding that area, you really have a weak basis for your statement.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I cannot chubby you HB but man, do I want to.
I cannot chubby you HB but man, do I want to.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Don't worry, you've given me plenty of chubbies. By which I mean erections. Because I look at you and think about sex. I like to imagine you have a huge johnson.
Don't worry, you've given me plenty of chubbies. By which I mean erections. Because I look at you and think about sex. I like to imagine you have a huge johnson.
spinynorman
+0 -0
That got sort of confusing at the end there, but to keep up the whole confusing thing if I was a chick I would be pretty much be won over
That got sort of confusing at the end there, but to keep up the whole confusing thing if I was a chick I would be pretty much be won over
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Yeah, I started to try and veer away from creepy, and just ended up confused and still creepy.
Yeah, I started to try and veer away from creepy, and just ended up confused and still creepy.
pogo
+0 -0
I don't know which charts you looked at, but I saw huge differences in the two I examined. Way to go Texas, number ONE in teen births per capita!
I don't know which charts you looked at, but I saw huge differences in the two I examined. Way to go Texas, number ONE in teen births per capita!
cromar
+0 -0
Sure, there are differences, but what I'm saying is that there really isn't that much difference between 60 teen births per thousand and 20 or 40 per thousand. Montana is ranked 9th in education, while Calfiornia is ranked 46th - not exactly what you would expect from the way people talk/think about average Montanans and Californians... So, yeah it's overstating things to say we are more or less homogeneous, but regional differences are certainly not anywhere near as large as people think (besides culture). Red states think the blue states are crime infested, drug addled, and have an explosion of teen pregnancies, welfare, etc. Blue states think the red ones are all poor, ignorant, racist dumbfucks. Really, they are more or less the same.
P.S. I am glad to live in a purple state.
Sure, there are differences, but what I'm saying is that there really isn't that much difference between 60 teen births per thousand and 20 or 40 per thousand. Montana is ranked 9th in education, while Calfiornia is ranked 46th - not exactly what you would expect from the way people talk/think about average Montanans and Californians... So, yeah it's overstating things to say we are more or less homogeneous, but regional differences are certainly not anywhere near as large as people think (besides culture). Red states think the blue states are crime infested, drug addled, and have an explosion of teen pregnancies, welfare, etc. Blue states think the red ones are all poor, ignorant, racist dumbfucks. Really, they are more or less the same.
P.S. I am glad to live in a purple state.
tekende
+0 -1
Amen, cromar. Amen.
Amen, cromar. Amen.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And we can all agree that Canadians are terrible. Really 4th class citizens all around. That is the sort of thing that brings Americans together
And we can all agree that Canadians are terrible. Really 4th class citizens all around. That is the sort of thing that brings Americans together
spinynorman
+0 -0
We are all terribeautiful monsters, and I lovehate you all for it
We are all terribeautiful monsters, and I lovehate you all for it
pogo
+0 -0
The scientific term is "xenophobia," and it is everywhere, in all cultures.
The scientific term is "xenophobia," and it is everywhere, in all cultures.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
tekende, you have all my virtual chubbies.
tekende, you have all my virtual chubbies.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Even right dems are still pretty bad about that whole Obama thing I mean really some old lady on the news called him "Barack Osama" during a Hilary voters bloc interview-thing and was completely serious and I about shot snot shit acrost the room.
Even right dems are still pretty bad about that whole Obama thing I mean really some old lady on the news called him "Barack Osama" during a Hilary voters bloc interview-thing and was completely serious and I about shot snot shit acrost the room.
pogo
+0 -0
Eh? Who's bold?
Eh? Who's bold?
pogo
+0 -0
Oh great, this now makes no sense, so separated from the original comment it is.
Oh great, this now makes no sense, so separated from the original comment it is.
dapooka
+1 -0
Actually, it's even funnier if you go to the effort to scroll up.
Not only going deaf, but very slow reaction time.
Pogo: The Grandpa Simpson of Assetbar
Actually, it's even funnier if you go to the effort to scroll up.
Not only going deaf, but very slow reaction time.
Pogo: The Grandpa Simpson of Assetbar
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Gimme 5 bees for quater!
Gimme 5 bees for quater!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
or quarter...you know, whatever...I'm too busy listening to the guitar solo on "Pablo and Andrea" to give two shits.
or quarter...you know, whatever...I'm too busy listening to the guitar solo on "Pablo and Andrea" to give two shits.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
ON FULL BLAST
ON FULL BLAST
pogo
+0 -0
I should get that characticonavar, for real.
I should get that characticonavar, for real.
mint
+0 -0
in retrospect I regret bringing up politics on the internet
in retrospect I regret bringing up politics on the internet
pogo
+0 -0
You are forgiven. Don't do it again. Go in peace.
You are forgiven. Don't do it again. Go in peace.
falseprophet
+1 -0
Damn when I read "Not the sort of person you wanted planning a hospital." I immediately assumed it was Ray.
For everything else, there's Lyle.
Damn when I read "Not the sort of person you wanted planning a hospital." I immediately assumed it was Ray.
For everything else, there's Lyle.
odei
+0 -0
Ray has a bit of class, Lyle has a bit of style. Showbiz is just rude (and has genital warts, according to some sources).
Ray has a bit of class, Lyle has a bit of style. Showbiz is just rude (and has genital warts, according to some sources).
spectre
+1 -0
I actually would stay in a hospital designed by Ray. If I had something minor. Not a transplant or brain surgery. Something like earlobe repair or having my toenails realigned.
I actually would stay in a hospital designed by Ray. If I had something minor. Not a transplant or brain surgery. Something like earlobe repair or having my toenails realigned.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
The food in a Ray hospital would be fantastic. And there would be live music and spirits instead of a cafeteria. And the nurses would all be slammin' .
The food in a Ray hospital would be fantastic. And there would be live music and spirits instead of a cafeteria. And the nurses would all be slammin' .
odei
+1 -0
"Hey, you feelin' any better yet?"
"I guess, but I still don't feel great."
"Have the next couple of days on me, here's my spa pass."
"Hey, you feelin' any better yet?"
"I guess, but I still don't feel great."
"Have the next couple of days on me, here's my spa pass."
susurrus
+0 -1
"Ray has a bit of class, Lyle has a bit of style. Showbiz is just rude"
Showbiz is rude. However, Ray is just plain RUDE!
"Ray has a bit of class, Lyle has a bit of style. Showbiz is just rude"
Showbiz is rude. However, Ray is just plain RUDE!
kickstart
+1 -0
Yeah I was thinking that 'out of control like Sammy Hagar' and 'all punked up on Jupiter oil' were two different plots on the same graph
Yeah I was thinking that 'out of control like Sammy Hagar' and 'all punked up on Jupiter oil' were two different plots on the same graph
irondave
+0 -0
I actually had no idea that Sammy Hagar was out of control.
I actually had no idea that Sammy Hagar was out of control.
autrepoupee
+11 -0
the man can't even bring himself to drive 55.
He is an animal.
the man can't even bring himself to drive 55.
He is an animal.
spectre
+1 -0
He's OVER 55. He's 60 years old. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sammy_Hagar
If he's an animal, he's become more of a burrowing, nesting type.
He's OVER 55. He's 60 years old. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sammy_Hagar
If he's an animal, he's become more of a burrowing, nesting type.
whiteturtle
+3 -0
He has a medical condition that makes it physically impossible for him to drive less than 56 miles per hour. Causing multiple head-on collisions and vehicular manslaughter every time you have to pick up a pack of smokes is the definition of out of control.
He has a medical condition that makes it physically impossible for him to drive less than 56 miles per hour. Causing multiple head-on collisions and vehicular manslaughter every time you have to pick up a pack of smokes is the definition of out of control.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
shit
shit
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Don't worry, it is better with two.
Don't worry, it is better with two.
usversusthem
+1 -0
...that's what she said?
(Here we see the influence of Vlad.)
...that's what she said?
(Here we see the influence of Vlad.)
daidai
+0 -0
Lollipop of mediocrity? I'm done with it.
HA!
(You have my axe.)
Lollipop of mediocrity? I'm done with it.
HA!
(You have my axe.)
usversusthem
+0 -0
AND MY DEODORANT BODY SPRAY
AND MY DEODORANT BODY SPRAY
whiteturtle
+4 -1
Curse you daidai! I am going to poison the shit out of you.
[IMGS OFF]
Curse you daidai! I am going to poison the shit out of you.
[IMGS OFF]
octafish
+0 -0
daidai, could... could you write a Requiem Mass?
daidai, could... could you write a Requiem Mass?
cromar
+1 -0
He was the first punk ever to set foot on this earth.
He was a genius from the day of his birth.
He could play the piano like ringing a bell
And everybody screamed:
Come on, rock me Amadeus.
He was the first punk ever to set foot on this earth.
He was a genius from the day of his birth.
He could play the piano like ringing a bell
And everybody screamed:
Come on, rock me Amadeus.
octafish
+0 -0
Falco chubby!
Falco chubby!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I personally always preferred "Vienna Calling."
I personally always preferred "Vienna Calling."
hbaranov
+0 -0
*headbangs the desk*
*headbangs the desk*
theguitarhero
+2 -1
ummm...I don't think that combination of words means what you think it does.
ummm...I don't think that combination of words means what you think it does.
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
NO
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Is this a British/American thing?
Is this a British/American thing?
hbaranov
+0 -0
Stupid americans. You do not understand. I am literally banging the desk repeatedly with my head. - Like that guys avatar.
Stupid americans. You do not understand. I am literally banging the desk repeatedly with my head. - Like that guys avatar.
hbaranov
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Like so
[IMGS OFF]
Like so
falseprophet
+0 -0
No cookies for you.
No cookies for you.
cromar
+0 -0
No you are stupid!
No you are stupid!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
No, you are stupid!
No, you are stupid!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No, stupid, YOU ARE.
No, stupid, YOU ARE.
stereo
+0 -0
YOU Adopt urines!
YOU Adopt urines!
thorfinn
+1 -0
Yo, ruinous adept!
Yo, ruinous adept!
lawbot
+0 -0
I doubt it. What would the head-using version of fingerbanging be? (I assume that is what you mean).
I doubt it. What would the head-using version of fingerbanging be? (I assume that is what you mean).
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No, I meant that here 'headbanging' is something specifically associated with metal and not just the general act of banging your head against something. I'm not sure if you guys have that term because while we usually refer to metal fans as headbangers, I think you just call them metallers.
No, I meant that here 'headbanging' is something specifically associated with metal and not just the general act of banging your head against something. I'm not sure if you guys have that term because while we usually refer to metal fans as headbangers, I think you just call them metallers.
loneal
+0 -1
Would this mean that there was no Headbangers Ball in the UK? That is too much cultural deprivation. Too much.
But I think I usually call them metalheads, not headbangers Is this an East Coast/West Coast thing?
Would this mean that there was no Headbangers Ball in the UK? That is too much cultural deprivation. Too much.
But I think I usually call them metalheads, not headbangers Is this an East Coast/West Coast thing?
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Speaking as a UK citizen and sometime headbanger, I can confirm that headbanging is a term associated here with rock/metal and not the act of banging one's head against something, which we call "banging one's head against something"
Speaking as a UK citizen and sometime headbanger, I can confirm that headbanging is a term associated here with rock/metal and not the act of banging one's head against something, which we call "banging one's head against something"
lawbot
+0 -0
Yeah, but it's exactly the same move as if one were headbanging a desk.
Yeah, but it's exactly the same move as if one were headbanging a desk.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I think this is where the idea for Speed came from.
I think this is where the idea for Speed came from.
speccer
+3 -0
This has me imagining Sammy Hagar hiring someone to speed his car up to 56 mph before he jumps in it. Or slide over to the driver seat and push them out the door.
This has me imagining Sammy Hagar hiring someone to speed his car up to 56 mph before he jumps in it. Or slide over to the driver seat and push them out the door.
qatmandu
+0 -0
A dude that meddles with produce is definately not the sort of person you want planning a hospital.
A dude that meddles with produce is definately not the sort of person you want planning a hospital.
squares
+0 -0
It seems so fitting that Showbiz is the kinda guy who drinks Tequiza...
It seems so fitting that Showbiz is the kinda guy who drinks Tequiza...
hexjumper
+0 -0
I'm guessing that Roast Beef is not only strongly considering getting Molly some mace, but, as it's Showbiz, making the mace _stronger._
Pepper spray can only get so far through damn foolishness.
I'm guessing that Roast Beef is not only strongly considering getting Molly some mace, but, as it's Showbiz, making the mace _stronger._
Pepper spray can only get so far through damn foolishness.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Maybe a canister of sprayable hydrochloric acid.
Maybe a canister of sprayable hydrochloric acid.
sncether
+1 -0
Fire extinguisher full of bees.
Fire extinguisher full of bees.
hbaranov
+0 -0
A waterbottle designed to spray ELECTROMAGNETIC DESTROYOSAURS
A waterbottle designed to spray ELECTROMAGNETIC DESTROYOSAURS
phy
+0 -0
A railway car full of huge Austrian cops, all smacking their batons against their palms in unison, scowls on every face.
A railway car full of huge Austrian cops, all smacking their batons against their palms in unison, scowls on every face.
aperson
+2 -0
A... a hose. A hose that squirts a stream of increasingly poor achewood comments.
A... a hose. A hose that squirts a stream of increasingly poor achewood comments.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
LOVE COMMENTS
LOVE THEM
LOVE COMMENTS
LOVE THEM
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
VCVCVCVCVC
VCVCVCVCVC
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
VC? kill dem gooks, bruddahs
VC? kill dem gooks, bruddahs
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Another John McCain reference?
Another John McCain reference?
octafish
+0 -0
You trollop!
You trollop!
deusoma
+0 -0
Oh, Ape. Your disappointment with these comments makes me smile.
Oh, Ape. Your disappointment with these comments makes me smile.
possums
+0 -0
Today is tomorrow.
Today is tomorrow.
d-pad
+14 -0
Your comment, when viewed with your avatar, elicit an odd emotion in me for an unknown reason.
Your comment, when viewed with your avatar, elicit an odd emotion in me for an unknown reason.
daidai
+0 -0
Are you drunk? Or high? I've had some wierd emotional responses on achewood while intoxicated.
Are you drunk? Or high? I've had some wierd emotional responses on achewood while intoxicated.
choosebro
+0 -0
IT IS THE EAGLE OF FREEDOM DRYING IT'S TEARS WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG.
IT IS THE EAGLE OF FREEDOM DRYING IT'S TEARS WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I'm so with you man.
I'm so with you man.
em2
+3 -0
Tomorrow has made a phone call to today.
Tomorrow has made a phone call to today.
professorhazard
+1 -0
possums had a dream. A household dream. The sun has made a note of his face.
possums had a dream. A household dream. The sun has made a note of his face.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
AND THE FLUFFY WHITE LINES
THAT THE
AIRPLANE
LEAVES BEHIND
are drifting right in front of the waning of the moon we are building a religion
*bows*
AND THE FLUFFY WHITE LINES
THAT THE
AIRPLANE
LEAVES BEHIND
are drifting right in front of the waning of the moon we are building a religion
*bows*
kickstart
+0 -0
YOU CAN DRESS UP LIKE A SULTAN IN YOUR ONION. HEAD. HAT.
YOU CAN DRESS UP LIKE A SULTAN IN YOUR ONION. HEAD. HAT.
spectre
+0 -0
Remember: Duty Now For The Future
Remember: Duty Now For The Future
kickstart
+3 -0
Devo and Cake, Devo and Cake, I'm a little lad who loves Devooooo and Cake.
Devo and Cake, Devo and Cake, I'm a little lad who loves Devooooo and Cake.
possums
+0 -0
I hate my avatar. Yet I feel as though I can never discard it.
I am cursed.
I hate my avatar. Yet I feel as though I can never discard it.
I am cursed.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
its just everything you say sounds so perfect with it... even that.
its just everything you say sounds so perfect with it... even that.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Don't cry... curses can be fun.
Don't cry... curses can be fun.
maximus
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
kamet
+0 -0
O, M, G, Chub.
O, M, G, Chub.
blueloggy
+0 -0
Now someone just needs to animate the Crying Indian* and possums can have a new avatar!
* - you know, the American kind
Now someone just needs to animate the Crying Indian* and possums can have a new avatar!
* - you know, the American kind
skoora
+1 -1
THAAAAAAAAAT'S SHOWBIZ!
THAAAAAAAAAT'S SHOWBIZ!
aperson
+0 -0
"Thaaaaaat's Showbiz" is taped before a live yadda yadda yadda bleh...
"Thaaaaaat's Showbiz" is taped before a live yadda yadda yadda bleh...
achilleselbow
+3 -0
"I hope no one spoils this fancy dinner party ..."
"I hope no one spoils this fancy dinner party ..."
hbaranov
+0 -0
"Hey hey... can you lend me five g's?"
"Hey hey... can you lend me five g's?"
professorhazard
+1 -0
"HEY EVERYBODY - GUESS WHO'S GOT CRAAABS!"
(uproarious audience laughter of the type that is pre-recorded and played during quasi-funny moments of The Big Bang Theory )
"HEY EVERYBODY - GUESS WHO'S GOT CRAAABS!"
(uproarious audience laughter of the type that is pre-recorded and played during quasi-funny moments of The Big Bang Theory )
theguitarhero
+0 -0
So it's the laugh track that's never played during Big Bang Theory?
Have you ever heard the laugh track in Two And a Half Men? They play it on the highest level possible during some of the worst, non-humor points in the show.
So basically the whole show.
So it's the laugh track that's never played during Big Bang Theory?
Have you ever heard the laugh track in Two And a Half Men? They play it on the highest level possible during some of the worst, non-humor points in the show.
So basically the whole show.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Sorry, by "quasi-funny" I guess I meant "funnyoid" - resembling funny in shape and intent but with none of funny's inherent properties.
P.S. Big Bang Theory sucks pass it on
Sorry, by "quasi-funny" I guess I meant "funnyoid" - resembling funny in shape and intent but with none of funny's inherent properties.
P.S. Big Bang Theory sucks pass it on
tekende
+0 -1
I like The Big Bang Theory. It's not the best show on TV or anything, but it's enjoyable.
I like The Big Bang Theory. It's not the best show on TV or anything, but it's enjoyable.
phy
+0 -0
So is it like kind of a mimicry of funny, to warn off predators? Along the lines of viceroy butterflies or hover flies is what I am thinking.
So is it like kind of a mimicry of funny, to warn off predators? Along the lines of viceroy butterflies or hover flies is what I am thinking.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Yes, except by "warn off predators" you mean "attract middle-aged television viewers". And tekende.
Yes, except by "warn off predators" you mean "attract middle-aged television viewers". And tekende.
lawbot
+0 -0
He is going to do a urine on himself in only thirty years .
He is going to do a urine on himself in only thirty years .
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
tekende did you ever like J.A.G. or Nash Bridges?
tekende did you ever like J.A.G. or Nash Bridges?
tekende
+0 -1
I have never watched either of those shows.
I have never watched either of those shows.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
NCIS? King of Queens?
NCIS? King of Queens?
octafish
+0 -0
I think you mean Navy cops .
They're cops, in the Navy, solving Navy crimes.
I feel so sorry for the Man From U.N.C.L.E. being in that shit.
I think you mean Navy cops .
They're cops, in the Navy, solving Navy crimes.
I feel so sorry for the Man From U.N.C.L.E. being in that shit.
tekende
+0 -0
I like King of Queens. Haven't watched it in quite a while, though.
I like King of Queens. Haven't watched it in quite a while, though.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Do you have cable, tekende?
Do you have cable, tekende?
tekende
+0 -0
No.
No.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
That explains it. If you get access to cable TV, you'll soon find you won't watch these shows anymore, and you'll wonder why you ever thought they were likable. I've seen it numerous times with friends.
That explains it. If you get access to cable TV, you'll soon find you won't watch these shows anymore, and you'll wonder why you ever thought they were likable. I've seen it numerous times with friends.
tekende
+0 -0
I have had cable before. I just haven't had it for the past...three months? I still watched most of these shows. Also The Office and House and How I Met Your Mother.
I have had cable before. I just haven't had it for the past...three months? I still watched most of these shows. Also The Office and House and How I Met Your Mother.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Yeah, I figured it was just a "I don't have cable right now" scenario. But really, you watched those shows when you had other choices?
To each his own, I suppose.
Yeah, I figured it was just a "I don't have cable right now" scenario. But really, you watched those shows when you had other choices?
To each his own, I suppose.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I fuckin' love Big Bang Theory! It's hella funny, and I will be watching it tonight.
I fuckin' love Big Bang Theory! It's hella funny, and I will be watching it tonight.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Hmm... I've always sort of found it to be "that show before How I Met Your Mother." That show, for the first season at least, was and maybe is pure, unadulterated genius.
Hmm... I've always sort of found it to be "that show before How I Met Your Mother." That show, for the first season at least, was and maybe is pure, unadulterated genius.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I think How I Met Your Mother has actually gotten better as it has gone along, though I do find Ted to be more and more annoying even as the rest of the gang gets better and better. I would not miss Ted even though his character is the center of the show's premise.
I think How I Met Your Mother has actually gotten better as it has gone along, though I do find Ted to be more and more annoying even as the rest of the gang gets better and better. I would not miss Ted even though his character is the center of the show's premise.
tekende
+0 -0
Neil Patrick Harris a demigod.
A...a sex demigod.
Neil Patrick Harris a demigod.
A...a sex demigod.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
He manages to make the catchphrases and gimmickery actually funny, because he has magical comedy powers, and he was a doctor, as a boy.
He manages to make the catchphrases and gimmickery actually funny, because he has magical comedy powers, and he was a doctor, as a boy.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
V-chub
V-chub
daidai
+1 -0
If I had a brother, I would totally have my wife mace him.
That would be a fun story at every family reunion.
If I had a brother, I would totally have my wife mace him.
That would be a fun story at every family reunion.
tekende
+2 -0
"Hey dude, remember that time I--"
"Yes! For God's sakes, yes, I remember! Will you shut the fuck up about it for once?!"
"Hey dude, remember that time I--"
"Yes! For God's sakes, yes, I remember! Will you shut the fuck up about it for once?!"
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... or, as far as my family reunions go, the story repeated again for the 500th time will not only go unrebuked but will elicit a laugh as if it was the first time it had been recalled in years. I often look around the table at these times and realise these occasions have made me seem like "the quiet one"... well that and the lack of insight I have into the latest afternoon TV game show.
... or, as far as my family reunions go, the story repeated again for the 500th time will not only go unrebuked but will elicit a laugh as if it was the first time it had been recalled in years. I often look around the table at these times and realise these occasions have made me seem like "the quiet one"... well that and the lack of insight I have into the latest afternoon TV game show.
awko
+0 -0
That telephone is in need of a speech therapist.
That telephone is in need of a speech therapist.
lokier
+8 -0
Man.....I love, love LOVE that Showbiz is getting a drumroll before returning. It's like when you see all the Reece's Pieces before seeing ET.
Man.....I love, love LOVE that Showbiz is getting a drumroll before returning. It's like when you see all the Reece's Pieces before seeing ET.
madmaki
+0 -0
Has anyone tried Tequiza? I saw it at a grocery store but went for some flying dog instead.
Has anyone tried Tequiza? I saw it at a grocery store but went for some flying dog instead.
oozienelson
+1 -0
nasty as hell. you'd think the fact that showbiz drinks it would be enough to stifle that curiosity.
if you're looking for beer/liquor hybrids, i'd go for innis and gunn.
nasty as hell. you'd think the fact that showbiz drinks it would be enough to stifle that curiosity.
if you're looking for beer/liquor hybrids, i'd go for innis and gunn.
phy
+7 -0
Are you sure that last one is a drink and not a couple of loose cannon police officers?
Are you sure that last one is a drink and not a couple of loose cannon police officers?
chuvak
+1 -0
I just pour liquor into my beer. At least that way I'm in control, not our corporate overlords.
I just pour liquor into my beer. At least that way I'm in control, not our corporate overlords.
morypcaina
+1 -0
The funniest thing is that Showbiz doesn't even have a liver. He just pisses it all right back into the bottle.
The funniest thing is that Showbiz doesn't even have a liver. He just pisses it all right back into the bottle.
aarongstock
+0 -0
Right, and be certain that Showbiz has thought of using this ability to form a business model.
Right, and be certain that Showbiz has thought of using this ability to form a business model.
pygmalion00
+2 -2
People you would not want planning a hospital:
Showbiz Kazenzakis
Howard Roark
The guy who I met on the bus who thought that wearing an orange pot with a bungee cord attached to it would make a good helmet
People you would not want planning a hospital:
Showbiz Kazenzakis
Howard Roark
The guy who I met on the bus who thought that wearing an orange pot with a bungee cord attached to it would make a good helmet
bixschmix
+2 -0
Two people here just *hate* Ayn Rand so much they can't even see the name Howard Roark without laming you.
Two people here just *hate* Ayn Rand so much they can't even see the name Howard Roark without laming you.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Trust me, my level of Rand-hate probably equals or surpasses theirs. I could not finish The Fountainhead because I started getting the urge to vote for Ron Paul, and to be an individual just like everyone else who reads Ayn Rand.
Trust me, my level of Rand-hate probably equals or surpasses theirs. I could not finish The Fountainhead because I started getting the urge to vote for Ron Paul, and to be an individual just like everyone else who reads Ayn Rand.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
God, we'd have to get some sort of contest to see who hates her more. I'm sure I'd win, based on how I feel, but that would be an awesome contest.
God, we'd have to get some sort of contest to see who hates her more. I'm sure I'd win, based on how I feel, but that would be an awesome contest.
genkisudo
+0 -0
Blood pressure contest:
The clip of the dude shooting a rifle into a crowd of kids and the other clip with Ayn Rand reading an excerpt of "Atlas Shrugged."
Since both of your blood pressures will have been higher for the first clip, the contest will be a tie.
Blood pressure contest:
The clip of the dude shooting a rifle into a crowd of kids and the other clip with Ayn Rand reading an excerpt of "Atlas Shrugged."
Since both of your blood pressures will have been higher for the first clip, the contest will be a tie.
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
lol atlas holds up deh worl if he shrugged derred be catapocolypcical conseqwenses 4 da inhibitants of erth. lol
lol atlas holds up deh worl if he shrugged derred be catapocolypcical conseqwenses 4 da inhibitants of erth. lol
woodenteeth
+0 -0
oh gladi8, you wag.
oh gladi8, you wag.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
I can just see the start of it:
READY, SET, BE UNCOMFORTABLE!
I can just see the start of it:
READY, SET, BE UNCOMFORTABLE!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I propose we set up a video of the goatse guy, and a video of Ayn Rand being eaten by wild boars. WE will fap to both, and since I will cum all over the second video without even touching myself I will be the winner.
I propose we set up a video of the goatse guy, and a video of Ayn Rand being eaten by wild boars. WE will fap to both, and since I will cum all over the second video without even touching myself I will be the winner.
elscoob
+0 -0
I laugh. Buddy of mine's approaching terminal velocity along his trajectory toward tying the knot, and we find that the whole wedding story arc here is particularly apt (me and another dude, who are both in the wedding party, have threatened to wear fezes to the event, for instance; I have offered to lead the smoke break, being about the only person left in the gang who hasn't quit; despite my pleas, I have not been awarded the title of Worst Man). Anyhow, my buddy's brother is the best man, and has dropped the ball on planning the bachelor party... not quite Showbiz level hijinks, but I feel sure there is a spiritual link.
I laugh. Buddy of mine's approaching terminal velocity along his trajectory toward tying the knot, and we find that the whole wedding story arc here is particularly apt (me and another dude, who are both in the wedding party, have threatened to wear fezes to the event, for instance; I have offered to lead the smoke break, being about the only person left in the gang who hasn't quit; despite my pleas, I have not been awarded the title of Worst Man). Anyhow, my buddy's brother is the best man, and has dropped the ball on planning the bachelor party... not quite Showbiz level hijinks, but I feel sure there is a spiritual link.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
A comment left by eatmorekix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pygmalion00, hbaranov, perhapsmaybe, billygoatbiker)
A comment left by eatmorekix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pygmalion00, hbaranov, perhapsmaybe, billygoatbiker)
thegrayhoodie
+1 -0
NO(OOOOOOOOOOOO)
NO(OOOOOOOOOOOO)
gormster
+0 -0
DO NOT WANT
DO NOT WANT
onepapertiger
+0 -0
hahahaha I wish I could write this directly in response to that
hahahaha I wish I could write this directly in response to that
phy
+0 -0
chubbied for clever use of parentheses
chubbied for clever use of parentheses
falseprophet
+0 -0
Ha, now that the photobucket message is there it looks like you're saddened by the loss. I know I am.
Ha, now that the photobucket message is there it looks like you're saddened by the loss. I know I am.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Wait, this isn't showing up any more and I've forgotten what it was already.
Oh wait now I remember.
Wait, this isn't showing up any more and I've forgotten what it was already.
Oh wait now I remember.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't.
I don't.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
Holy Jesus! Your avatar moves!
Holy Jesus! Your avatar moves!
hbaranov
+0 -0
It did.. and then I looked at it.. and it stopped... and then did it again... I am.. afraid.
It did.. and then I looked at it.. and it stopped... and then did it again... I am.. afraid.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yes, it moves.
Yes, it moves.
aperson
+0 -0
He walks to the closet! He getting closer to the closet! etc
He walks to the closet! He getting closer to the closet! etc
octafish
+1 -0
Galileo Galilee?
Galileo Galilee?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
and yet...
and yet...
catgrl131
+0 -0
What was it?
What was it?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
It was a photo of Darth Vader and a Storm Trooper in a supermarket, holding up vegetables to look like genitalia.
It was a photo of Darth Vader and a Storm Trooper in a supermarket, holding up vegetables to look like genitalia.
pogo
+0 -0
Rubarb and grapefruit, it seems to me.
Rubarb and grapefruit, it seems to me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm thinking orange, or his hands are tiny. Good catch on the rhubarb though, I didn't think people knew what that was these days.
I'm thinking orange, or his hands are tiny. Good catch on the rhubarb though, I didn't think people knew what that was these days.
thorfinn
+0 -0
It is delicious, that's what it is. There is no more delicious summer-type food than a slice of freshly made strawberry-rhubarb pie, under a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream. This is pretty much the king of all desserts.
It is delicious, that's what it is. There is no more delicious summer-type food than a slice of freshly made strawberry-rhubarb pie, under a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream. This is pretty much the king of all desserts.
cromar
+0 -0
True dat.
True dat.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It is also the very pinkest of things a person can eat.
It is also the very pinkest of things a person can eat.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And trust me, I eat a ton of pink, every day
And trust me, I eat a ton of pink, every day
cromar
+0 -0
You are on a roll today!
You are on a roll today!
eatmorekix
+0 -0
clearly my comment is controversial.
clearly my comment is controversial.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I didn't even know photobucket had terms of use, but this violated them. I must know what this image contained!
I didn't even know photobucket had terms of use, but this violated them. I must know what this image contained!
stereo
+0 -0
Through the miracle of caching, I have saved it and you can see it here:
https://www.jonbuder.com/Stereo/darthtuber.jpg
Through the miracle of caching, I have saved it and you can see it here:
https://www.jonbuder.com/Stereo/darthtuber.jpg
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Holy shit, there's a whole crew there: Vader, 2 storm troopers and a TIE Fighter pilot. You just know that the Emperor is in the backgroun, just giggling...
[IMGS OFF]
Holy shit, there's a whole crew there: Vader, 2 storm troopers and a TIE Fighter pilot. You just know that the Emperor is in the backgroun, just giggling...
[IMGS OFF]
missbee
+0 -1
oh my goodness, for once my vote *counted*. I can control whether it is 4.6 or 4.7!
What will I do with this newfound power? >:D
oh my goodness, for once my vote *counted*. I can control whether it is 4.6 or 4.7!
What will I do with this newfound power? >:D
choosebro
+0 -0
The power will pass soon enough. Just be glad that for one moment you were part of the history of the cultural milstone that is Achewood. Make sure you tell your children of it.
The power will pass soon enough. Just be glad that for one moment you were part of the history of the cultural milstone that is Achewood. Make sure you tell your children of it.
aelindil
+0 -0
Your avatar is so dang perfect for this comment that it actually makes my head explode a little. Just a little.
Your avatar is so dang perfect for this comment that it actually makes my head explode a little. Just a little.
wonelove
+0 -0
oh boy...the Red Rocker.
being out of control is throwing bell mushroom into a bin of bell pepper?
oh boy...the Red Rocker.
being out of control is throwing bell mushroom into a bin of bell pepper?
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
you guys are so wrong is says so in it's name, doods
you guys are so wrong is says so in it's name, doods
whiteturtle
+1 -0
I've always wanted to be a DJ just so I can call myself M.C. Donald.
I've always wanted to be a DJ just so I can call myself M.C. Donald.
foea
+0 -0
If you do, make a bit where you talk about Grimace. That motherfucker has hip-hop potential.
If you do, make a bit where you talk about Grimace. That motherfucker has hip-hop potential.
erutangis
+2 -1
Someone would be like "Grimace is one hip-hoppin' retard" and everyone else would be like "HE IS FIVE"
Someone would be like "Grimace is one hip-hoppin' retard" and everyone else would be like "HE IS FIVE"
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
don't change your avatar.
don't change your avatar.
whiteturtle
+10 -1
I'm M.C. Donald
I don't give a fuck about Ronald
All the young gangstas
be talkin' bout fame
1 billion hos served
Ya'll remember my name
I'm M.C. Donald
I don't give a fuck about Ronald
All the young gangstas
be talkin' bout fame
1 billion hos served
Ya'll remember my name
professorhazard
+2 -1
I got a fly-ass spatula
Encrusted wit' gode
I flipped yo' mama's burger
Even though bitch is ode
I got a fly-ass spatula
Encrusted wit' gode
I flipped yo' mama's burger
Even though bitch is ode
dutch
+0 -0
what willie D would sound like if he wrote I wanna fuck your mama and was obese.
what willie D would sound like if he wrote I wanna fuck your mama and was obese.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
To Milkpants:
I saw what you did. You went back in time to lame me in the past, in a vain attempt to destroy me in the present. However, if you look at yesterday's comments, you will see that I already shot you at some point in the continuum, rendering your efforts futile. Whatever the permutations and hilarious misunderstanding which may occur on this adventure through time, know this: I emerge victorious at the end of the path, regardless of its twists and turns along the way.
To Milkpants:
I saw what you did. You went back in time to lame me in the past, in a vain attempt to destroy me in the present. However, if you look at yesterday's comments, you will see that I already shot you at some point in the continuum, rendering your efforts futile. Whatever the permutations and hilarious misunderstanding which may occur on this adventure through time, know this: I emerge victorious at the end of the path, regardless of its twists and turns along the way.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Beautiful. I am high as balls and commenting every which way, but this truly was talent.
Beautiful. I am high as balls and commenting every which way, but this truly was talent.
aperson
+0 -0
Assetbar makes it impossible to go back in time and see what post you are replying to.
Assetbar makes it impossible to go back in time and see what post you are replying to.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Approved!
Approved!
edwell
+18 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
professorhazard
+0 -0
I love you Edwell
I love you Edwell
dapooka
+0 -0
Oh Edwell, you scalliwag.
I am honored to be the first to chubby this.
Oh Edwell, you scalliwag.
I am honored to be the first to chubby this.
dapooka
+0 -0
...or not. It went from 0 to 3 as I did so.
Assetbar - just when you think it can't get more fucked up...
...or not. It went from 0 to 3 as I did so.
Assetbar - just when you think it can't get more fucked up...
whiteturtle
+0 -0
This is exactly why I have become stingy with my chubbies. Exactly. The Quantum Leap theme song is my ringtone.
This is exactly why I have become stingy with my chubbies. Exactly. The Quantum Leap theme song is my ringtone.
kamet
+0 -0
That is FUCKING awesome. You, sir, are a man with skills.
That is FUCKING awesome. You, sir, are a man with skills.
cromar
+0 -0
Edwell you are the most awesome!
Edwell you are the most awesome!
invidious
+0 -0
Every time Edwell posts I wonder: why do we allow anyone else to post? (Including me)
Every time Edwell posts I wonder: why do we allow anyone else to post? (Including me)
tekende
+0 -0
Because you touch yourself at night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
roguecheddar
+0 -1
Oh god this one made me so happy.
Oh god this one made me so happy.
weapon86
+0 -0
I wonder if there are just two Lucky's in Achewood. Was Showbiz able to complete the entire Lucky circuit, or did he fail?
I wonder if there are just two Lucky's in Achewood. Was Showbiz able to complete the entire Lucky circuit, or did he fail?
weapon86
+0 -0
I hope I interpreted the blotter correctly. I realize the cost of news space, so perhaps the police report was edited tight, failing to mention it was the Lucky back on Emerson. Also, I am inviting Richard Dean Anderson over and opening the windows.
I hope I interpreted the blotter correctly. I realize the cost of news space, so perhaps the police report was edited tight, failing to mention it was the Lucky back on Emerson. Also, I am inviting Richard Dean Anderson over and opening the windows.
aperson
+1 -0
They were ready for him second time round - so he got arrested.
They were ready for him second time round - so he got arrested.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
are...are those Hypno Toad eyes...on Barack Obama?
ALL HAIL HYPNOBAMA!
are...are those Hypno Toad eyes...on Barack Obama?
ALL HAIL HYPNOBAMA!
hbaranov
+0 -1
Thats what America needs. A guy with fucking HypnoEyes
Thats what America needs. A guy with fucking HypnoEyes
cromar
+0 -0
Isn't that what we have already?
Isn't that what we have already?
aelindil
+0 -0
If not, that's a more sad and frightening reflection on society.
If not, that's a more sad and frightening reflection on society.
octafish
+0 -0
"Hey kid you wanna watch me drink booze while doing push-ups?"
I'd just like to point out that I'm not religious, not religious at all . I still identify with T though.
"Hey kid you wanna watch me drink booze while doing push-ups?"
I'd just like to point out that I'm not religious, not religious at all . I still identify with T though.
whoper
+0 -0
Early thirties, huh? Is this the first time we've gotten a specific age range for a character who isn't Philippe (and possibly Cornelius)?
Early thirties, huh? Is this the first time we've gotten a specific age range for a character who isn't Philippe (and possibly Cornelius)?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Pat was 26 when he turned gay, and we had those dated photos of Beef.
Pat was 26 when he turned gay, and we had those dated photos of Beef.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh, also if I'm not mistaken Beef and Showbiz are twins, so...
Oh, also if I'm not mistaken Beef and Showbiz are twins, so...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
In the same litter, at least.
In the same litter, at least.
loneal
+0 -2
[url=https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D06302005]Twins[/url, at least according to what Roast Beef's dad heard while in prison, which may not be the most trustworthy rumor mill in the world.
[url=https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D06302005]Twins[/url, at least according to what Roast Beef's dad heard while in prison, which may not be the most trustworthy rumor mill in the world.
lawbot
+0 -0
Of course it could be that Showbiz' hard living has aged him prematurely, and he is not in his thirties.
Of course it could be that Showbiz' hard living has aged him prematurely, and he is not in his thirties.
pogo
+0 -0
Are we talking cat years? (7 to 1?)
Are we talking cat years? (7 to 1?)
professorhazard
+0 -0
No, the cats were alive in the nineteen-eighties. These are some extremely old cats.
No, the cats were alive in the nineteen-eighties. These are some extremely old cats.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Oh Showbiz, you loveable, happy-go-lucky scamp you.
Oh Showbiz, you loveable, happy-go-lucky scamp you.
bex
+0 -0
Five for "Not religious, not religious at all"
I barely every laugh out loud at webcomics, but that got me.
Five for "Not religious, not religious at all"
I barely every laugh out loud at webcomics, but that got me.
lawbot
+0 -0
Moderate comment/icon synergy.
Moderate comment/icon synergy.
hbaranov
+0 -1
YES?
YES?
theguitarhero
+0 -1
NO.
NO.
hbaranov
+0 -1
MAYBE...
MAYBE...
theguitarhero
+0 -1
IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT;
IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT;
lawbot
+0 -0
The question is would you post your brother's bail in these circumstances? Or would you hope he stays inside until after the wedding?
The question is would you post your brother's bail in these circumstances? Or would you hope he stays inside until after the wedding?
kamet
+0 -0
I would bribe the cops to keep him in jail until after the wedding.
I would bribe the cops to keep him in jail until after the wedding.
spectre
+0 -0
I would bribe the cops to get him into the "experimental" treatment program . . . the one way out in the desert, using the old Andromeda Strain research station.
I would bribe the cops to get him into the "experimental" treatment program . . . the one way out in the desert, using the old Andromeda Strain research station.
octafish
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
This treatment? The metal hat and the burning off of your epidermis? I can understand it for those that come into contact with Showbiz but not for Showbiz himself.
[IMGS OFF]
This treatment? The metal hat and the burning off of your epidermis? I can understand it for those that come into contact with Showbiz but not for Showbiz himself.
theirateturk
+3 -0
first post
first post
goldendeath
+0 -0
So I woke up my wife last night around 2 AM laughing like an idiot, and when she demanded to know why, my explanation of "Tequiza push-ups" did little to satisfy her....
So I woke up my wife last night around 2 AM laughing like an idiot, and when she demanded to know why, my explanation of "Tequiza push-ups" did little to satisfy her....
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Are...are you a time traveller?
Subsequently would that make your wife The Time Traveller's Wife?
Seriously though, please tell me you had other business online other than checking Achewood while your wife was sleeping alone.
Are...are you a time traveller?
Subsequently would that make your wife The Time Traveller's Wife?
Seriously though, please tell me you had other business online other than checking Achewood while your wife was sleeping alone.
goldendeath
+4 -0
yeah, in between bouts of late night furious masturbation to clown porn, i like to read achewood as the little woman sleeps off the latest beating - that is the kind of husband i am - just a little peek into my world for you
yeah, in between bouts of late night furious masturbation to clown porn, i like to read achewood as the little woman sleeps off the latest beating - that is the kind of husband i am - just a little peek into my world for you
loneal
+0 -1
The Time Traveller's Wife: excellent take on time travel, embarrassing take on token non-white characters.
The Time Traveller's Wife: excellent take on time travel, embarrassing take on token non-white characters.
aelindil
+0 -0
Is it worth reading, though? I purchased it on a whim and am contemplating returning it before cracking its spine with a look-through.
Is it worth reading, though? I purchased it on a whim and am contemplating returning it before cracking its spine with a look-through.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
My mum really didn't like it, but my friend did. Personally I can't be bothered.
My mum really didn't like it, but my friend did. Personally I can't be bothered.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I read a review saying it really wasn't that good. I would possibly read it if I ever finish Confederacy of Dunces, Ender's Game, and Good Omens, and if I ever get around to buying Snuff, and also if I get the Dexter series...
Holy shit I just realized that now that I'm out of school I get to read for fun.
I read a review saying it really wasn't that good. I would possibly read it if I ever finish Confederacy of Dunces, Ender's Game, and Good Omens, and if I ever get around to buying Snuff, and also if I get the Dexter series...
Holy shit I just realized that now that I'm out of school I get to read for fun.
aelindil
+0 -0
Isn't that great? Now you can read whenever you want to...I mean between shifts at your three jobs in order to pay off your student loans.
I'm sad now.
Isn't that great? Now you can read whenever you want to...I mean between shifts at your three jobs in order to pay off your student loans.
I'm sad now.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
One jobs, I only have to take a small loan out so far thanks to Florida schools giving away scholarships like crazy.
One jobs, I only have to take a small loan out so far thanks to Florida schools giving away scholarships like crazy.
octafish
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
But I had time... All the time in the world!
[IMGS OFF]
But I had time... All the time in the world!
howl
+0 -0
I liked it a lot. I read it several years ago, though, I don't know if I would like it now.
I liked it a lot. I read it several years ago, though, I don't know if I would like it now.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Um, several years ago you were a fetus...
Um, several years ago you were a fetus...
loneal
+0 -1
Several years ago when you were seven?
Several years ago when you were seven?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
HA! FIRST!
HA! FIRST!
loneal
+0 -1
You know what I'm going to do tonight, hedonismbot, just for beating me to that comment? I'm gonna shave my head. And then I'm gonna burn all the hair. Your wig-making days are over.
You know what I'm going to do tonight, hedonismbot, just for beating me to that comment? I'm gonna shave my head. And then I'm gonna burn all the hair. Your wig-making days are over.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
There's always more hair to find if one is creative enough
There's always more hair to find if one is creative enough
kamet
+0 -0
*shudder*
*shudder*
howl
+0 -0
Several meaning one or two.
Several meaning one or two.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
i liked it a lot, but i'm a sad sappy sucker though. and it's set in my town and in the book they go to places that i go, so it gets bonus points.
but really it's an awesome book, and i've recommended it to friends and they've enjoyed it. common questions are:
Q) is it science fictiony?
A) not really at all, no. besides the time travel, but it doesn't feel like sci-fi at all.
Q) is something that only girls who love The Notebook will like?
A) no. it's a love story, but the good kind. not that predictable romantic comedy stuff.
i liked it a lot, but i'm a sad sappy sucker though. and it's set in my town and in the book they go to places that i go, so it gets bonus points.
but really it's an awesome book, and i've recommended it to friends and they've enjoyed it. common questions are:
Q) is it science fictiony?
A) not really at all, no. besides the time travel, but it doesn't feel like sci-fi at all.
Q) is something that only girls who love The Notebook will like?
A) no. it's a love story, but the good kind. not that predictable romantic comedy stuff.
aelindil
+0 -0
I gave it a B. It was entertaining, not literature. The author needs to work on voicing a lot...I sometimes couldn't distinguish between the two main characters' voices, and the attempt to convey non-standard dialects wasn't terribly well conveyed. Also I could see the ending coming from a mile away, but time travel and surprise don't work together real well anyway.
I gave it a B. It was entertaining, not literature. The author needs to work on voicing a lot...I sometimes couldn't distinguish between the two main characters' voices, and the attempt to convey non-standard dialects wasn't terribly well conveyed. Also I could see the ending coming from a mile away, but time travel and surprise don't work together real well anyway.
aelindil
+0 -0
Having now read it, I would agree totally with the characterization of all the non-white characters. The attempt to show dialects failed horribly and just seemed like a reinforcement of stereotypes.
It was entertaining, not brilliant. And I didn't cry at the ending.
Having now read it, I would agree totally with the characterization of all the non-white characters. The attempt to show dialects failed horribly and just seemed like a reinforcement of stereotypes.
It was entertaining, not brilliant. And I didn't cry at the ending.
glyc
+1 -0
I wonder if showbiz will add enough stress to this affair to push Molly into one
I wonder if showbiz will add enough stress to this affair to push Molly into one
nabeel84
+0 -0
Seriously, I can't even imagine Teodor has a shot here. He's just so mediocre.
Seriously, I can't even imagine Teodor has a shot here. He's just so mediocre.
lawbot
+0 -0
What about Vlad?
What about Vlad?
nabeel84
+0 -0
Vlad is too formal and smooth. Molly likes it dirty, in cheap heels and in front of the TV. Although... Vlad is Eastern European and Molly likes Dracula...
the ellipses leave it to your imagination
Vlad is too formal and smooth. Molly likes it dirty, in cheap heels and in front of the TV. Although... Vlad is Eastern European and Molly likes Dracula...
the ellipses leave it to your imagination
hbaranov
+0 -0
Oh.. da babee...
Oh.. da babee...
aelindil
+1 -0
He's blue, da babee da babai da babee da babai...
He's blue, da babee da babai da babee da babai...
professorhazard
+0 -0
Molly also likes guys who are hung like a Louisville Slugger.
Molly also likes guys who are hung like a Louisville Slugger.
spinynorman
+0 -0
yeah but who doesn't
yeah but who doesn't
hedonismbot
+0 -0
yeah but who isn't
yeah but who isn't
spinynorman
+0 -0
The animal with the largest penis, in comparison to its body mass, is the barnacle. Got a dong bigger than its head. Or it would if it had a head.
The animal with the largest penis, in comparison to its body mass, is the barnacle. Got a dong bigger than its head. Or it would if it had a head.
professorhazard
+1 -0
The Louisville Slugger, on the other hand, doesn't even measure up, as it has no genitals.
The Louisville Slugger, on the other hand, doesn't even measure up, as it has no genitals.
gladi8orrex
+2 -1
dood, bats have genitals what u twokin abot. lol thas how's you get more bathey use them to fuck
dood, bats have genitals what u twokin abot. lol thas how's you get more bathey use them to fuck
kickstart
+1 -0
oh, that's how you get more bats.
oh, that's how you get more bats.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I thought they were made by lightning and Robert Redford.
At least, the Wonder ones are.
I thought they were made by lightning and Robert Redford.
At least, the Wonder ones are.
glyc
+0 -0
i ah, just realized, "Maybe I should get Molly some mace" is kind of a form of dramatic foreshadowing, right, maybe? Foreshadowing how Beef's concerns are all misplaced, how he totally doesn't see what's in store.
i ah, just realized, "Maybe I should get Molly some mace" is kind of a form of dramatic foreshadowing, right, maybe? Foreshadowing how Beef's concerns are all misplaced, how he totally doesn't see what's in store.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
showbiz wuldent rape his bro's financee, lol would he?
showbiz wuldent rape his bro's financee, lol would he?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'll keep a basketball at the ready just in case
I'll keep a basketball at the ready just in case
octafish
+1 -0
Finally a pl ayoff!
Finally a p
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You two dance like two ballerinas that fell into "The Fly" transporter. Beautiful.
You two dance like two ballerinas that fell into "The Fly" transporter. Beautiful.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
shh don't tell anyone but gladi8, glyc, and alreadyinuse are the same person
shh don't tell anyone but gladi8, glyc, and alreadyinuse are the same person
octafish
+0 -0
...but, but, Gladi8or is consise and to the point, otherwise I would concur.
...but, but, Gladi8or is consise and to the point, otherwise I would concur.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
It is only because he is playing a role that he is able to inhabit a "sane"...er..."not irritating"...er..."consise" voice. If you go back and check, there are many intertwinings and insta-responses between both glyc and gladi8. Plus, as glyc has become more and more reviled, thus Gladi8 has posted more often to compensate. I hope I am wrong because I love Gladi8orrex, and do not wish to see him become an actual troll as opposed to a brilliant parody. [o]<----tie fighter
It is only because he is playing a role that he is able to inhabit a "sane"...er..."not irritating"...er..."consise" voice. If you go back and check, there are many intertwinings and insta-responses between both glyc and gladi8. Plus, as glyc has become more and more reviled, thus Gladi8 has posted more often to compensate. I hope I am wrong because I love Gladi8orrex, and do not wish to see him become an actual troll as opposed to a brilliant parody. [o]<----tie fighter
dapooka
+0 -0
Chubbied for the strong tie figther ending.
On second thought, if that's making me giggle it's time for bed. Chubbied nonetheless.
Chubbied for the strong tie figther ending.
On second thought, if that's making me giggle it's time for bed. Chubbied nonetheless.
gladi8orrex
+2 -1
are feces must be compactible
are feces must be compactible
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I don't think so. I mean remember initially glyc was trying to pass off as someone else, but he wrote exactly like alreadyinuse. The whole thing with glyc/alreadyinuse is that he basically cannot filter his train of thought. He wouldn't have the discipline to pull off a character like gladi8orrex.
I don't think so. I mean remember initially glyc was trying to pass off as someone else, but he wrote exactly like alreadyinuse. The whole thing with glyc/alreadyinuse is that he basically cannot filter his train of thought. He wouldn't have the discipline to pull off a character like gladi8orrex.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
that is a good point. I still think I'm right, but by no means do I think that with absolute certainty. I will gladly eat crow when this mystery is no more.
that is a good point. I still think I'm right, but by no means do I think that with absolute certainty. I will gladly eat crow when this mystery is no more.
_
+0 -1
Well.. not that there's any way for you to infer this based on my asset bar insanity, but FYI I can certainly muster discipline when I want to. If I can muster non-annoying creativity is something else which remains to be seen.
No, I am not gladi8orrex. I do like the endearing fellow quite a lot, so I would hate for anyone to attribute to him any feelings of annoyance which originiated with myself.
Yeah I like my ramblings and such, and I have even at times claimed that they are genius, but obviously, they are inferrior to those of gladi8orrex and also Dr. Manflesh, if only because my ramblings are so much more inaccessible than their.s
Gladi8orrex is an actual personage, a character, an interactive fellow, really, that that is what is so much fun about him, or for those who are annoyed by him, what makes him, I would think, more annoying, as opposed to Dr. Manflesh or myself who just kind of scream our wacko rants like someone who's grabbed supervision of a half-duplex channel and won't let go.
I say that whoever gladi8orrex is, must be some kind of writer who is practicing character development.
I rule you out achilleselbow, as the potential gladi8orrex, because you just don't seem to ever exhibit that kind of sillyness in your posts. You have more of a subtle and dry humor and wit and sillyness...
It could be that gladi8orrex is actually none of us...
I mean no offense, but seriusly guys, this isn't exactly the most stimulating conversation in the world that we have on here. Sometimes it's very stimulating but mostly not. Someone with the self discipline to maintain the character of gladi8orrex for weeks on end might just have the self discipline to not get sucked into this quasi-tv show that is asset bar. We are essentially a collective TV show, each of us making up a small part of the feed, but for the most part, this is a one-to-many feed, just like a tv show.
maybe gladi8orrex works in some sort of group home for developmentally challenged cats, and as such has some awesome models on which to base his character.
I don't follow this board to closely and I'm not too socially smart anyway when it comes to reading people, so maybe there are others, but I myself only know of one person here who has demonstrated the requisit self discipline and the penchant for loony character development, and that is onstad himself.
I do submit to y'all that I now have the coolest username on assetbar, bar none! I'm so proud of it.
Well.. not that there's any way for you to infer this based on my asset bar insanity, but FYI I can certainly muster discipline when I want to. If I can muster non-annoying creativity is something else which remains to be seen.
No, I am not gladi8orrex. I do like the endearing fellow quite a lot, so I would hate for anyone to attribute to him any feelings of annoyance which originiated with myself.
Yeah I like my ramblings and such, and I have even at times claimed that they are genius, but obviously, they are inferrior to those of gladi8orrex and also Dr. Manflesh, if only because my ramblings are so much more inaccessible than their.s
Gladi8orrex is an actual personage, a character, an interactive fellow, really, that that is what is so much fun about him, or for those who are annoyed by him, what makes him, I would think, more annoying, as opposed to Dr. Manflesh or myself who just kind of scream our wacko rants like someone who's grabbed supervision of a half-duplex channel and won't let go.
I say that whoever gladi8orrex is, must be some kind of writer who is practicing character development.
I rule you out achilleselbow, as the potential gladi8orrex, because you just don't seem to ever exhibit that kind of sillyness in your posts. You have more of a subtle and dry humor and wit and sillyness...
It could be that gladi8orrex is actually none of us...
I mean no offense, but seriusly guys, this isn't exactly the most stimulating conversation in the world that we have on here. Sometimes it's very stimulating but mostly not. Someone with the self discipline to maintain the character of gladi8orrex for weeks on end might just have the self discipline to not get sucked into this quasi-tv show that is asset bar. We are essentially a collective TV show, each of us making up a small part of the feed, but for the most part, this is a one-to-many feed, just like a tv show.
maybe gladi8orrex works in some sort of group home for developmentally challenged cats, and as such has some awesome models on which to base his character.
I don't follow this board to closely and I'm not too socially smart anyway when it comes to reading people, so maybe there are others, but I myself only know of one person here who has demonstrated the requisit self discipline and the penchant for loony character development, and that is onstad himself.
I do submit to y'all that I now have the coolest username on assetbar, bar none! I'm so proud of it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Underscore:1) Music that is played softly underneath other action, usually characters talking. 2) Give extra weight to (a communication); "Her gesture emphasized her words" 3) underline: draw a line or lines underneath to call attention to. 4) Underscore is an EP from Tonedeff.
Underscore:1) Music that is played softly underneath other action, usually characters talking. 2) Give extra weight to (a communication); "Her gesture emphasized her words" 3) underline: draw a line or lines underneath to call attention to. 4) Underscore is an EP from Tonedeff.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I'll leave y'all to take from these definitions as you will. I submit that _ / alreadyinuse12&3 / glyc have become the living embodiment of the characters that people and Onstad himself attempts to parody (like gladi8's characters but with a number of obvious differences). Lame him, ignore him, but know he really is the voice that is played softly underneath other action such as characters talking.
I'll leave y'all to take from these definitions as you will. I submit that _ / alreadyinuse12&3 / glyc have become the living embodiment of the characters that people and Onstad himself attempts to parody (like gladi8's characters but with a number of obvious differences). Lame him, ignore him, but know he really is the voice that is played softly underneath other action such as characters talking.
pogo
+0 -0
No wonder I have them amm on *Ignore User*.
No wonder I have them amm on *Ignore User*.
pogo
+0 -0
all
all
ctrl_z
+0 -0
What the heck?! Lucky supermarket?!
What the heck?! Lucky supermarket?!
thegoblins
+1 -0
Mixing cucumbers into the zucchini bin is thoroughly malicious. Some people have trouble telling their cucurbits apart!
Mixing cucumbers into the zucchini bin is thoroughly malicious. Some people have trouble telling their cucurbits apart!
whatwhatwhat
+6 -0
FIRST MAN-HOLDING-A-ZUCCHINI-POST
[IMGS OFF]
FIRST MAN-HOLDING-A-ZUCCHINI-POST
[IMGS OFF]
hbaranov
+0 -0
I am so glad I saved my chubbies to get to the bottom of the page
I am so glad I saved my chubbies to get to the bottom of the page
woodenteeth
+0 -0
v-chub for avatar/post-theme symmetry.
v-chub for avatar/post-theme symmetry.
pogo
+0 -0
*Yawn* I just read 223 comments, maybe posted one or two, and the whole experience left me deflated. Just not ready for fool season today. Best go mix some cukes with the zukes. (Where's catgrl when I need her?)
*Yawn* I just read 223 comments, maybe posted one or two, and the whole experience left me deflated. Just not ready for fool season today. Best go mix some cukes with the zukes. (Where's catgrl when I need her?)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, Charcoal, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, Charcoal, Doc_Rostov)
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
NO
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Hey I died when every other comment on assetbar became either a "not a good comment" comment or the words "NO" "CLITS" and "MOIST." And if it keeps happening I swear to you all my corpse will spin at such a velocity as to burrow into a fault line and start the earthquake of the apocalypse.
Hey I died when every other comment on assetbar became either a "not a good comment" comment or the words "NO" "CLITS" and "MOIST." And if it keeps happening I swear to you all my corpse will spin at such a velocity as to burrow into a fault line and start the earthquake of the apocalypse.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
*ahem*
Hey! My dad was an apocalypse, and he died when Christ came back and ended him. Not appropriate, not funny, not a good comment.
*ahem*
Hey! My dad was an apocalypse, and he died when Christ came back and ended him. Not appropriate, not funny, not a good comment.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
*sigh*
Hey my family was killed by a guy on the internet you snarked them to death not cool not funny not a good-fuck it.
I'm done.
*sigh*
Hey my family was killed by a guy on the internet you snarked them to death not cool not funny not a good-fuck it.
I'm done.
professorhazard
+0 -0
AND MY AXE
AND MY AXE
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Great job, team. You are all getting raises. A Plus for comedy guys, your comments were so bad they leveled one of the lesser, Christian Baldwin's Villas:
[IMGS OFF]
And that is something you can put on your resume, under "humanitarian."
Great job, team. You are all getting raises. A Plus for comedy guys, your comments were so bad they leveled one of the lesser, Christian Baldwin's Villas:
[IMGS OFF]
And that is something you can put on your resume, under "humanitarian."
sncether
+0 -0
I don't usually do this, but I'm out of chubbies today and your comment made me laugh, professorhazard. And you can take that to the bank.
I don't usually do this, but I'm out of chubbies today and your comment made me laugh, professorhazard. And you can take that to the bank.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I appreciate it, canned possum. Rock on.
I appreciate it, canned possum. Rock on.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Riiiiiiiiight here. Ugh. Can't think of anything more clever to say than that. It's too hot (It's like a curry). Maybe something about pedophilia? Use your imaginations, my AC's broken.
Riiiiiiiiight here. Ugh. Can't think of anything more clever to say than that. It's too hot (It's like a curry). Maybe something about pedophilia? Use your imaginations, my AC's broken.
kamet
+0 -0
You're so hot, you're making me sexist.
You're so hot, you're making me sexist.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
...bitch.
...bitch.
hedonismbot
+6 -1
I'll see what I can do. How's this:
"Anal sex is like spinach. If you are forced to have it as a kid, you will be more likely to enjoy it as an adult."
I'll see what I can do. How's this:
"Anal sex is like spinach. If you are forced to have it as a kid, you will be more likely to enjoy it as an adult."
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Roughest chuckles, mining darkest seams.
Roughest chuckles, mining darkest seams.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
You're a bad man, hedonismbot. A very, very bad man.
]:0/
You're a bad man, hedonismbot. A very, very bad man.
]:0/
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh my God .
Oh my God .
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
HA
HA
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If only one of the Assetbarristas was going to give me a larf, I'm glad it was you Ethel.
If only one of the Assetbarristas was going to give me a larf, I'm glad it was you Ethel.
irondave
+0 -0
I laughed. I feel shame.
I laughed. I feel shame.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
That sentiment's mutual.
That sentiment's mutual.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
not the shame, the larf!
not the shame, the larf!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Hedonismbot Rough = Chuckles.
Hedonismbot Rough = Chuckles.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
fucking Assetbar. bring back my addition sign.
fucking Assetbar. bring back my addition sign.
stereo
+0 -0
I only wish I could somehow include the sound I'm imagining on Assetbar.
Instead, I will go with subtitles:
[IMGS OFF]
"[I love...] having my nipples polished with rough sandpaper. Ooo hoohoohoohooo."
I only wish I could somehow include the sound I'm imagining on Assetbar.
Instead, I will go with subtitles:
[IMGS OFF]
"[I love...] having my nipples polished with rough sandpaper. Ooo hoohoohoohooo."
pogo
+0 -0
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, loneal)
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Thorfinn, loneal)
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Ewww! No, pogo! Stop that!
Ewww! No, pogo! Stop that!
catgrl131
+2 -0
Aww, he don't ejaculate none.
Aww, he don't ejaculate none.
catgrl131
+1 -0
And hey, it's okay. It's all in good fun.
And hey, it's okay. It's all in good fun.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks, baby.
Thanks, baby.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Leaping into a puddle of any sort is quite likely to leave you with a severe set of bruises and scrapes.
Leaping into a puddle of any sort is quite likely to leave you with a severe set of bruises and scrapes.
thorfinn
+0 -0
You realize, pogo, that you, a 59-year-old man, have said this thing that you just said to a high school student.
A FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT
This is not an OK thing to do. You are moving past the normal bounds of creepy old manness and into illegal territory. If you continue down this path, I see an unexpected visit from Chris Hansen in your future. I am saying this for your benefit, so that you may see the error in your ways. You are seriously creeping people out.
You realize, pogo, that you, a 59-year-old man, have said this thing that you just said to a high school student.
A FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT
This is not an OK thing to do. You are moving past the normal bounds of creepy old manness and into illegal territory. If you continue down this path, I see an unexpected visit from Chris Hansen in your future. I am saying this for your benefit, so that you may see the error in your ways. You are seriously creeping people out.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
take it sleazy baby he aint gonna hurt nobody
he's pogo!
take it sleazy baby he aint gonna hurt nobody
he's pogo!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I make a joke about forceful sodomy of minors, and he's the one that gets yelled at for a dirty joke. Hilarious. (I'm still a fan Pogo, despite what all these damn kids think)
I make a joke about forceful sodomy of minors, and he's the one that gets yelled at for a dirty joke. Hilarious. (I'm still a fan Pogo, despite what all these damn kids think)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Pogo slammed Oz Intelligentsia and I still think he's rad... mainly 'cause he's just a dude and just because he's been 'round longer doesn't mean he's that much different to any of you... (i.e. thorfinn, settle buddy).
Pogo slammed Oz Intelligentsia and I still think he's rad... mainly 'cause he's just a dude and just because he's been 'round longer doesn't mean he's that much different to any of you... (i.e. thorfinn, settle buddy).
loneal
+0 -1
Yeah okay, but I really didn't want to see him try to publicly initiate bloodninja-style cybersex with a high school student.
Yeah okay, but I really didn't want to see him try to publicly initiate bloodninja-style cybersex with a high school student.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
ifin' dey has grass on da fiel' let da ol' man break peace off it
ifin' dey has grass on da fiel' let da ol' man break peace off it
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Fair enough. Thanks for the mental tatoo. I probably deserved it.
Fair enough. Thanks for the mental tatoo. I probably deserved it.
pogo
+0 -0
Bloodninja-style cybersex? There even is such a thing?
Bloodninja-style cybersex? There even is such a thing?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Internet reference. Again. Basically, when someone starts in on hot talking, you say "Ohhh, I love roleplaying". They say something like "Oh yeah, well I'm the dirty nurse here to give you a spongebath" and you say "I put on my wizard hat and robes" and the disconnect continues from there. I'm a master at the craft myself, level 22 troll
Internet reference. Again. Basically, when someone starts in on hot talking, you say "Ohhh, I love roleplaying". They say something like "Oh yeah, well I'm the dirty nurse here to give you a spongebath" and you say "I put on my wizard hat and robes" and the disconnect continues from there. I'm a master at the craft myself, level 22 troll
chachibenji
+0 -0
It is like the real life equivalent of standing up and dipping your junk in tartar sauce during foreplay and that is why it is awesome.
It is like the real life equivalent of standing up and dipping your junk in tartar sauce during foreplay and that is why it is awesome.
thorfinn
+0 -0
@hedonismbot
The difference between the two is that you made an indirect reference to sodomizing minors in general, while pogo was making direct references to a specific minor that we all know and love. The former can be funny in certain situations, while the latter is just plain creepy regardless of context.
@hedonismbot
The difference between the two is that you made an indirect reference to sodomizing minors in general, while pogo was making direct references to a specific minor that we all know and love. The former can be funny in certain situations, while the latter is just plain creepy regardless of context.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Would it be better if I directly referenced sodomizing Pogo? I'm getting kinda confused. I'll try my best.
Pogo, you have a purty mouth.
Would it be better if I directly referenced sodomizing Pogo? I'm getting kinda confused. I'll try my best.
Pogo, you have a purty mouth.
pogo
+0 -0
I'm just bowing out of the whole sex thing, dude. But here's one last kiss.
I'm just bowing out of the whole sex thing, dude. But here's one last kiss.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks, but some people can't take it sleazy, I guess, so I'll behave (for a while).
Thanks, but some people can't take it sleazy, I guess, so I'll behave (for a while).
pogo
+1 -0
Believe me, thorfinn, I take your concerns seriously, and applaud you for defending minors. However, may I point out that 18 is supposed to be the age of all who enter here, and there would be no way to determine if anyone really is 18, really is male or female, or anything like that. So I assume we're all grownups unless someone specifically claims to be younger. To my knowledge, catgirl131 has not made any age claims, and dishes out as good as she gets, so hurrah for that. This is meeting of the minds here, completely divorced from any thought of meeting up or physical contact (I know, we've had one or two hookups, but that's their problem), and as far as I can tell, no one is holding back on either the filth, salaciousness, or irreverence of their posts. But I should be held to a higher standard, perhaps, being the father of a child older than most of you. So it shall be. No more hitting on females. *Sigh* It was SOOOOO CREEEEEPY!
Believe me, thorfinn, I take your concerns seriously, and applaud you for defending minors. However, may I point out that 18 is supposed to be the age of all who enter here, and there would be no way to determine if anyone really is 18, really is male or female, or anything like that. So I assume we're all grownups unless someone specifically claims to be younger. To my knowledge, catgirl131 has not made any age claims, and dishes out as good as she gets, so hurrah for that. This is meeting of the minds here, completely divorced from any thought of meeting up or physical contact (I know, we've had one or two hookups, but that's their problem), and as far as I can tell, no one is holding back on either the filth, salaciousness, or irreverence of their posts. But I should be held to a higher standard, perhaps, being the father of a child older than most of you. So it shall be. No more hitting on females. *Sigh* It was SOOOOO CREEEEEPY!
professorhazard
+0 -0
pogo, you're letting me down. Stick to your guns, man.
pogo, you're letting me down. Stick to your guns, man.
pogo
+0 -0
Easy for you to say, you're a cartoon!
Easy for you to say, you're a cartoon!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Actually I'm just a [url=https://professorhazard.deviantart.com/art/deviantID-September-2007-64853205] semi-accurate drawing of myself[/img]. But I have feelings, pogo
Actually I'm just a [url=https://professorhazard.deviantart.com/art/deviantID-September-2007-64853205] semi-accurate drawing of myself[/img]. But I have feelings, pogo
professorhazard
+0 -0
YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO glad that very few people are going to come back in time and see this.
Let's try that again.
YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO glad that very few people are going to come back in time and see this.
Let's try that again.
pogo
+0 -0
Ookay, your illustrated version does resemble your photograph. But your comments also have a cartoonish quality, as if you did not really care what people thought of you.
Ookay, your illustrated version does resemble your photograph. But your comments also have a cartoonish quality, as if you did not really care what people thought of you.
professorhazard
+0 -0
That's the first time anyone has ever said that about me, but I will admit that it is pretty accurate. Who says old people are good for nothin'!
That's the first time anyone has ever said that about me, but I will admit that it is pretty accurate. Who says old people are good for nothin'!
lawbot
+0 -0
Yeah kids in high school aren't really ready to know about s-e-x.
Yeah kids in high school aren't really ready to know about s-e-x.
mo_rose
+0 -0
Man, I was certain that this strip was about Lyle. I experienced a sort of shocking disbelief when it turned out to be Showbiz. I'm feeling quite faint. I should lie down.
Man, I was certain that this strip was about Lyle. I experienced a sort of shocking disbelief when it turned out to be Showbiz. I'm feeling quite faint. I should lie down.
nhennies
+0 -0
Showbiz is the only one who could possibly be drinking Tequiza. Even Lyle has *some* class.
Showbiz is the only one who could possibly be drinking Tequiza. Even Lyle has *some* class.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Lyle wouldn't drink anything that's less than 60 proof.
Lyle wouldn't drink anything that's less than 60 proof.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I am too friendly, sirrah. vChub
I am too friendly, sirrah. vChub
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
Showbiz's intros rule
Showbiz's intros rule
chachibenji
+0 -2
"Hey there Ladies. I have an intense disinterest in spirituality. So whats up. Aint diggin on that religion at ALL."
"Hey there Ladies. I have an intense disinterest in spirituality. So whats up. Aint diggin on that religion at ALL."
catgrl131
+1 -0
Sir, if you have a moment I would like to sit and speak with you about the faith of the Jehovah's Witnesses.
THE HOSE!
Sir, if you have a moment I would like to sit and speak with you about the faith of the Jehovah's Witnesses.
THE HOSE!
videocrime
+0 -0
showbiz! welcome back, holmes. keep up your veggie-mixing madness.
showbiz! welcome back, holmes. keep up your veggie-mixing madness.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
"Tequiza".. lols. wtf is up with the pre-limed beer movement? Ok, that one has tequilla in it as well. still.. stupid.
I do like the mayonaise mustard movement. i mean, that just makes sense.
"Tequiza".. lols. wtf is up with the pre-limed beer movement? Ok, that one has tequilla in it as well. still.. stupid.
I do like the mayonaise mustard movement. i mean, that just makes sense.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Is that what Tequiza is, beer with tequila in it? Because I really like that.
Is that what Tequiza is, beer with tequila in it? Because I really like that.
loneal
+0 -1
Presumably it's tequila plus cerveza, but you know I ain't got no sense of drinks.
Presumably it's tequila plus cerveza, but you know I ain't got no sense of drinks.
thorfinn
+0 -0
It is beer with tequila and lime flavor added, but it is not as good as it sounds. It tastes like urine filtered through dirty socks. Tequiza is a thing which should not exist.
It is beer with tequila and lime flavor added, but it is not as good as it sounds. It tastes like urine filtered through dirty socks. Tequiza is a thing which should not exist.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
amen brother, amen.
amen brother, amen.
kamet
+0 -0
To me it tastes like beer, with a little bit of a nice tequila burn... with some Mountain Dew mixed in, resulting in a slightly horse-piss melange. I was killed by Tequiza. Not a good memory. Not a good drink.
To me it tastes like beer, with a little bit of a nice tequila burn... with some Mountain Dew mixed in, resulting in a slightly horse-piss melange. I was killed by Tequiza. Not a good memory. Not a good drink.
octafish
+0 -0
And people drink it? *confused* I guess my palate has matured. I remember back in the day a concotion called (if memory serves) Nikov a "Vodka and Orange flavoured wine" sold in a 4 litre plastic bladder. 14% alcohol and the price of a six-pack. Extremely cheap and decidedly not cheerful this was the choice of 16 year olds everywhere. The unofficial slogan of Nikov was "There always some left for the morning".
And people drink it? *confused* I guess my palate has matured. I remember back in the day a concotion called (if memory serves) Nikov a "Vodka and Orange flavoured wine" sold in a 4 litre plastic bladder. 14% alcohol and the price of a six-pack. Extremely cheap and decidedly not cheerful this was the choice of 16 year olds everywhere. The unofficial slogan of Nikov was "There always some left for the morning".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
To me almost any beer with something fruity or sweet mixed in tastes better than regular beer. I just never understood how people come to enjoy drinking stuff that's bitter and leaves a dry feeling in your mouth, no matter how subtle the interplay of hops and grains or whatever. I mean didn't everyone hate beer when they first tried it at age 12 or so? So what changed? I mean you still drink soda when you're older, and if they made a non-alcoholic drink that tasted like beer I doubt it would be very popular, so I just don't really get it. I guess I'll stick to cider or lambic beer when I can get it. Or, you know, coconut mojitos are always good.
Not everything sweet is good though. From what I remember that strong fruit-flavored "wine" that you're talking about (usually sold at bodegas and such) is basically sweetened motor oil.
To me almost any beer with something fruity or sweet mixed in tastes better than regular beer. I just never understood how people come to enjoy drinking stuff that's bitter and leaves a dry feeling in your mouth, no matter how subtle the interplay of hops and grains or whatever. I mean didn't everyone hate beer when they first tried it at age 12 or so? So what changed? I mean you still drink soda when you're older, and if they made a non-alcoholic drink that tasted like beer I doubt it would be very popular, so I just don't really get it. I guess I'll stick to cider or lambic beer when I can get it. Or, you know, coconut mojitos are always good.
Not everything sweet is good though. From what I remember that strong fruit-flavored "wine" that you're talking about (usually sold at bodegas and such) is basically sweetened motor oil.
glyc
+1 -1
i usedto think semen tasted gross too before I would injeting puburty hermones
i usedto think semen tasted gross too before I would injeting puburty hermones
onepapertiger
+0 -0
you...what?
you...what?
tekende
+0 -0
Anyone still think glyc and gladi8orrex aren't the same person? glyc's been doing this a lot too lately, misspelling words and using shorter sentences.
Anyone still think glyc and gladi8orrex aren't the same person? glyc's been doing this a lot too lately, misspelling words and using shorter sentences.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I thought he owned up to it already?
I thought he owned up to it already?
onepapertiger
+0 -0
"I used to think semen tasted gross, too--before I was injesting/injecting/ puberty hormones."
Now that I inject Puberty Hormones, semen tastes a-okay! Thanks, Puberty Hormones!
-Testament from glyc: Satisfied Customer
"I used to think semen tasted gross, too--before I was injesting/injecting/ puberty hormones."
Now that I inject Puberty Hormones, semen tastes a-okay! Thanks, Puberty Hormones!
-Testament from glyc: Satisfied Customer
lawbot
+0 -0
There's a certain definite style to a lot of what gladiator-x says. Glyc doesn't seem to have that. It's not conclusive, but I'd say that there's a very strong chance they are different.
There's a certain definite style to a lot of what gladiator-x says. Glyc doesn't seem to have that. It's not conclusive, but I'd say that there's a very strong chance they are different.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Seriously, are you alreadyinuse? It would be awesome if you were, as I sort of miss him.
Seriously, are you alreadyinuse? It would be awesome if you were, as I sort of miss him.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I've been bashing minorities a lot here, so could someone else do the girly-drink/gay-drink joke here? Dude, mojitos? Come on now...
I've been bashing minorities a lot here, so could someone else do the girly-drink/gay-drink joke here? Dude, mojitos? Come on now...
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Appletini
Appletini
loneal
+4 -1
Yeah, bro, I got you covered.
Achilleselbow likes to drink some drinks that are sweet! That is funny because it's like being gay or a girl, and being gay or a girl is way worse than being a straight dude!
Is that how you do it? Did I do okay?
Yeah, bro, I got you covered.
Achilleselbow likes to drink some drinks that are sweet! That is funny because it's like being gay or a girl, and being gay or a girl is way worse than being a straight dude!
Is that how you do it? Did I do okay?
dapooka
+0 -0
L'oneal - YOU ARE RAD!
Seriously, that was awesome.
L'oneal - YOU ARE RAD!
Seriously, that was awesome.
loneal
+0 -1
Right back atcha, Stimpz.
Right back atcha, Stimpz.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
See, you didn't do very well here. But it's adorable that you tried. You gotta try and channel Todd for this sort of job.
"Th, th, th, the only dude I wanna see drinking sweet shit and mojitos is a dude named Sally with a big veiny rack"
Something like that. Then ask him is his husband drinks mojitos too.
See, you didn't do very well here. But it's adorable that you tried. You gotta try and channel Todd for this sort of job.
"Th, th, th, the only dude I wanna see drinking sweet shit and mojitos is a dude named Sally with a big veiny rack"
Something like that. Then ask him is his husband drinks mojitos too.
octafish
+0 -0
I don't think its a gay drink, Mo-heat-oh.
...and I retreat to my bunker to wait out the fallout associated with Family Guy references.
I don't think its a gay drink, Mo-heat-oh.
...and I retreat to my bunker to wait out the fallout associated with Family Guy references.
snidedk
+0 -1
Mojitos were Ernest Hemingway's drink of choice. Given that the only possible way Hemingway could have been more heterosexual and manly is by wrestling bears while chugging beer and making degrading comments about women, I'm going to have to call shenangians on mojitos being girly.
Mojitos were Ernest Hemingway's drink of choice. Given that the only possible way Hemingway could have been more heterosexual and manly is by wrestling bears while chugging beer and making degrading comments about women, I'm going to have to call shenangians on mojitos being girly.
falseprophet
+0 -0
It could also be that drinking mojitos was the one girly thing that Hemingway did that was girly which made him human. It is like how Beast from the X-Men is always quotin' SHakespeare or when you are watching a bad comedy heist movie and the big dude with huge muscles gets pissed when you hurt his chihuahua.
It could also be that drinking mojitos was the one girly thing that Hemingway did that was girly which made him human. It is like how Beast from the X-Men is always quotin' SHakespeare or when you are watching a bad comedy heist movie and the big dude with huge muscles gets pissed when you hurt his chihuahua.
lawbot
+0 -0
Alternatively it could be one of his authentic preferences, in among all his obsessive affectations of a "manly" persona.
Alternatively it could be one of his authentic preferences, in among all his obsessive affectations of a "manly" persona.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I must admit achilleselbow I only started drinking beer 2 years ago (I'm 31). In Australia the high end stuff is actually quite refreshing, only slightly bitter and leaves your mouth decidedly wet. If you can get your hands on James Squire Amber Ale or Golden Ale, I suggest it. That or Wheat Bier, Hoegarden is odd tasting but just great.
Unfortunately once you've started high-end it becomes a lot easier to work backward (especially at 3am).
I must admit achilleselbow I only started drinking beer 2 years ago (I'm 31). In Australia the high end stuff is actually quite refreshing, only slightly bitter and leaves your mouth decidedly wet. If you can get your hands on James Squire Amber Ale or Golden Ale, I suggest it. That or Wheat Bier, Hoegarden is odd tasting but just great.
Unfortunately once you've started high-end it becomes a lot easier to work backward (especially at 3am).
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Drinking lambic in a champagne flute at your hipster Brooklyn bars. That's why you can't get laid, achilleselbow.
Drinking lambic in a champagne flute at your hipster Brooklyn bars. That's why you can't get laid, achilleselbow.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You're right. I went to a shitty loft party last weekend and when me and my friend got there the girl hosting it just handed us both Pabsts. I think a visible cringe passed across my face, but I wasn't about to start explaining my drink preferences, since other times I've done that I've been looked at as if I were some curious member of a lost tribe. So I spent the entire night choking that one can down. Given the weather right now and the fact that they were too hip for air conditioning, it was basically Pabst Tea after half an hour.
You're right. I went to a shitty loft party last weekend and when me and my friend got there the girl hosting it just handed us both Pabsts. I think a visible cringe passed across my face, but I wasn't about to start explaining my drink preferences, since other times I've done that I've been looked at as if I were some curious member of a lost tribe. So I spent the entire night choking that one can down. Given the weather right now and the fact that they were too hip for air conditioning, it was basically Pabst Tea after half an hour.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Pabst is worst beer chugged from warmest can.
Pabst is worst beer chugged from warmest can.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
PBR is terrible warm, yes, but you are supposed to be drinking it because it is cheap and you want to get drunk, not because you want to indie pose as hard as you can, thus it should never get warm before you move on to the next. You should not be tasting that shit.
PBR is terrible warm, yes, but you are supposed to be drinking it because it is cheap and you want to get drunk, not because you want to indie pose as hard as you can, thus it should never get warm before you move on to the next. You should not be tasting that shit.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
If you had explained your drink preference, I would've taken the only opportunity in my life to say "Mojitos?! Fuck That Shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!!!"
If you had explained your drink preference, I would've taken the only opportunity in my life to say "Mojitos?! Fuck That Shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!!!"
octafish
+0 -0
1 chubby for 1 well dressed man!
1 chubby for 1 well dressed man!
irondave
+0 -0
Some of the finer things in life are what we call "acquired tastes." Beer is but one example. On the other hand, I had no idea that our society has sunk to the level where relatively affluent people drink Pabst to the exclusion of other beer. And for a party, no less.
Some of the finer things in life are what we call "acquired tastes." Beer is but one example. On the other hand, I had no idea that our society has sunk to the level where relatively affluent people drink Pabst to the exclusion of other beer. And for a party, no less.
tekende
+0 -0
In certain circles, Pabst is preferred because it gives the drinker an air of, like, blue-collar "authenticity" or whatever.
In certain circles, Pabst is preferred because it gives the drinker an air of, like, blue-collar "authenticity" or whatever.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
But only 20-30 year old hipsters actually drink Pabst. You want blue collar? Start drinking Milkwaukee's Best, Busch Light or Keystone Light.
The only time I drink Pabst is when it's the cheapest thing at a bar. I'm still a beer snob, in that I love good beer, but I no longer feel the need to pay 5 bucks for a good beer if I can get a PBR for $1.50...I've pissed away too much money at bars in my life already.
But only 20-30 year old hipsters actually drink Pabst. You want blue collar? Start drinking Milkwaukee's Best, Busch Light or Keystone Light.
The only time I drink Pabst is when it's the cheapest thing at a bar. I'm still a beer snob, in that I love good beer, but I no longer feel the need to pay 5 bucks for a good beer if I can get a PBR for $1.50...I've pissed away too much money at bars in my life already.
tekende
+0 -0
Sorry, I should clarified that they THINK it gives them an air of authenticity. It does not; it just makes them look like douches (unless they genuinely like Pabst, I guess).
Sorry, I should clarified that they THINK it gives them an air of authenticity. It does not; it just makes them look like douches (unless they genuinely like Pabst, I guess).
thorfinn
+1 -0
I don't harbor the illusion that Pabst or Miller High Life give me an air of blue-collar "authenticity", I drink them because they are cheap, but good enough to drink. I live in Oregon, which is basically Microbrew Central, USA, and I like a lot of good beers, but when I'm in a bar and have a choice between PBR for $1 and Fearless Scotch Ale for $4, I'll buy the PBR every time, even though the Fearless is one of my favorite beers.
I don't harbor the illusion that Pabst or Miller High Life give me an air of blue-collar "authenticity", I drink them because they are cheap, but good enough to drink. I live in Oregon, which is basically Microbrew Central, USA, and I like a lot of good beers, but when I'm in a bar and have a choice between PBR for $1 and Fearless Scotch Ale for $4, I'll buy the PBR every time, even though the Fearless is one of my favorite beers.
pogo
+0 -0
Wait, don't you know the "first beer" rule? Make the first beer a good one, then switch to the cheapest since you're already getting drunk.
Wait, don't you know the "first beer" rule? Make the first beer a good one, then switch to the cheapest since you're already getting drunk.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I have the constitution of a small horse, so that "first beer" rule would become "first three beers", so I'm out $12 plus tips for the Fearless, when I could have consumed 12 PBRs for the same price, and 12 is a much larger number than 3, so I will stick with the PBR.
I have the constitution of a small horse, so that "first beer" rule would become "first three beers", so I'm out $12 plus tips for the Fearless, when I could have consumed 12 PBRs for the same price, and 12 is a much larger number than 3, so I will stick with the PBR.
lawbot
+0 -0
Anyone who doesn't know this has not studied the gospels adequately.
Anyone who doesn't know this has not studied the gospels adequately.
turnabout
+0 -0
That seems pretty reasonable.
That seems pretty reasonable.
kamet
+0 -0
There is a bar in my town that is known for all the punk kids, tough guys, and scenesters.. and the "cool" drink is PBR in the can.
There is a bar in my town that is known for all the punk kids, tough guys, and scenesters.. and the "cool" drink is PBR in the can.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Here it's Natty Light, because some people want to prove they will drink anything,
Here it's Natty Light, because some people want to prove they will drink anything,
thorfinn
+0 -0
I drink some cheap beer from time to time, but there is a line that I will not cross. Natty Light and Natty Ice are on the other side of that line, next to Steel Reserve and Camo Ice.
I drink some cheap beer from time to time, but there is a line that I will not cross. Natty Light and Natty Ice are on the other side of that line, next to Steel Reserve and Camo Ice.
cromar
+0 -0
I am a lover of cheap-ass beer as well (also good beers). Some really are just crap though. Once I puked after drinking 2 pints of Colt... not from being drunk, just because it's that shitty of a beer .
I am a lover of cheap-ass beer as well (also good beers). Some really are just crap though. Once I puked after drinking 2 pints of Colt... not from being drunk, just because it's that shitty of a beer .
bixschmix
+0 -0
The only thing worse than Colt is Laser.
bixschmix is unfortunately a member of the Laser club
The only thing worse than Colt is Laser.
bixschmix is unfortunately a member of the Laser club
irondave
+0 -0
I will straight up tell you that I am a beer geek yet I drink Steel Reserve. You can get a 24oz (the hard stuff is 8% alcohol) for $1.01. I think it tastes pretty good for that price.
By the way, how does it feel to be the guy that Brooklyn hipsters with lofts are trying to copy? Because you are that guy, Mr. Authentic.
I will straight up tell you that I am a beer geek yet I drink Steel Reserve. You can get a 24oz (the hard stuff is 8% alcohol) for $1.01. I think it tastes pretty good for that price.
By the way, how does it feel to be the guy that Brooklyn hipsters with lofts are trying to copy? Because you are that guy, Mr. Authentic.
lawbot
+0 -0
Actually, there are a large number of non-alcoholic beers (less than 0.5% ABV). Further there are a large number of non-beer malt drinks, which are favoured by West Africans.
Actually, there are a large number of non-alcoholic beers (less than 0.5% ABV). Further there are a large number of non-beer malt drinks, which are favoured by West Africans.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Come on up to Jefferson we still got plenty of that crap. We even have a ton of other giant cheap plastic encased alcohols for your drinking pleasure!
But seriously giant plastic bottles of vodka is natures way of telling man he is about to have sex with something he should not.
Come on up to Jefferson we still got plenty of that crap. We even have a ton of other giant cheap plastic encased alcohols for your drinking pleasure!
But seriously giant plastic bottles of vodka is natures way of telling man he is about to have sex with something he should not.
dapooka
+0 -0
Tequiza: Zima for a new generation.
Tequiza: Zima for a new generation.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Do you prefer Mayostard, or Mustardayonnaise?
Do you prefer Mayostard, or Mustardayonnaise?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I, personally, am tired of the mustardayonnaise grind.
I, personally, am tired of the mustardayonnaise grind.
pygmalion00
+1 -0
I have a hard time choosing, so I use Mustmayostardayonnaise.
I have a hard time choosing, so I use Mustmayostardayonnaise.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
i have no idea why, but this was the funniest thing i have read all day and i can't stop laughing... or saying mustmayostardonnaise over and over again.
i have no idea why, but this was the funniest thing i have read all day and i can't stop laughing... or saying mustmayostardonnaise over and over again.
thorfinn
+0 -0
It is the funniest thing you have read all day because Bob Odenkirk and David Cross are comedic genii. Mr. Show with Bob and David is one of the finest programs that has ever been on television.
It is the funniest thing you have read all day because Bob Odenkirk and David Cross are comedic genii. Mr. Show with Bob and David is one of the finest programs that has ever been on television.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Hey guys, I hear my friend Squirtle and Bulbasaur are here!
[IMGS OFF]
Hey guys, I hear my friend Squirtle and Bulbasaur are here!
hedonismbot
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Maybe we can try that again
[IMGS OFF]
Maybe we can try that again
theguitarhero
+1 -1
I have a question for you:
Do you like Mudkips?
I have a question for you:
Do you like Mudkips?
octafish
+0 -0
Oh, you kids and your pocket monsters... Ahh I gotta go do a job , I'll leave this one for someone else to finish...
Oh, you kids and your pocket monsters... Ahh I gotta go do a job , I'll leave this one for someone else to finish...
kickstart
+0 -0
...Pac-Man video games, Dan Fogelberg, Zima Malt beverages...
...Pac-Man video games, Dan Fogelberg, Zima Malt beverages...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man those old Zima commercials made the drink look so cool...in more ways than one.
man those old Zima commercials made the drink look so cool...in more ways than one.
tekende
+0 -0
I remember those! And then one time I drank some Zima. I couldn't believe how terrible it was. It actually made me feel sick.
I remember those! And then one time I drank some Zima. I couldn't believe how terrible it was. It actually made me feel sick.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I went to a frat party in college (one of, like, 4 I ever went to) at which the bar was serving Zima.
I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I went to a frat party in college (one of, like, 4 I ever went to) at which the bar was serving Zima.
I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
falseprophet
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cromar
+0 -0
Priceless.
Priceless.
kamet
+0 -0
That is thouroughly creepy, man.
That is thouroughly creepy, man.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I came
I came
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I punched myself in the dick.
I punched myself in the dick.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
this is the expression of a woman who's surgery removed her ability to look genuinely suprised.
this is the expression of a woman who's surgery removed her ability to look genuinely suprised.
irondave
+0 -0
I assumed that being married to Bill destroyed her ability to be surprised.
I assumed that being married to Bill destroyed her ability to be surprised.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Blow job from a dowdy intern huh Bill? Meh.
Blow job from a dowdy intern huh Bill? Meh.
professorhazard
+0 -0
An attention span that can only be measured in na-no-seconds!
An attention span that can only be measured in na-no-seconds!
octafish
+0 -0
I was thinking about the words "kids" "pocket" and "monsters" and expected something from hedonismbot about kiddy fiddling. I am glad to see you all took the high roadand got to Scotland before me .
I was thinking about the words "kids" "pocket" and "monsters" and expected something from hedonismbot about kiddy fiddling. I am glad to see you all took the high road
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Hey okay so I'm going to Chicago for four days or so and my Internet access will be limited. I feel kind of silly announcing this to Internet people, but if I didn't, who knows, you might get worried and think "Oh shit there's no one starting long pedantic arguments and now the comments section is about 2x shorter, I bet achilleselbow got eaten by a bear! I sure hope the bear didn't choke on him, I like bears!"
Screw all y'all.
(I do not really want to screw all y'all)
Hey okay so I'm going to Chicago for four days or so and my Internet access will be limited. I feel kind of silly announcing this to Internet people, but if I didn't, who knows, you might get worried and think "Oh shit there's no one starting long pedantic arguments and now the comments section is about 2x shorter, I bet achilleselbow got eaten by a bear! I sure hope the bear didn't choke on him, I like bears!"
Screw all y'all.
(I do not really want to screw all y'all)
tekende
+0 -0
Have fun dude!
Have fun dude!
_
+0 -1
cool we should meet up achilleselbow and then you can see in person how sexable I am and not annoying and we and take handface pictures of us hugging and poste them on here contact me via midconet.net for my e-mail
cool we should meet up achilleselbow and then you can see in person how sexable I am and not annoying and we and take handface pictures of us hugging and poste them on here contact me via midconet.net for my e-mail
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You guys shold party
You guys shold party
loneal
+0 -1
But...but...who will I write lengthy faux-academic salvos against?
But...but...who will I write lengthy faux-academic salvos against?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I recommend Pogo, if you don't mind filling in on politics and war. He'll be lonely without someone a third his age hating on his views.
I recommend Pogo, if you don't mind filling in on politics and war. He'll be lonely without someone a third his age hating on his views.
pogo
+0 -0
If I may be of service, m'lady ... I have an extensive library at my command.
If I may be of service, m'lady ... I have an extensive library at my command.
loneal
+0 -0
Aw, good job Pogo! You learned about the Internet!
Aw, good job Pogo! You learned about the Internet!
mjfitzge
+0 -0
have fun in chicago, i live here and it is AWESOME! if you are going to be here until monday night by any chance come to friar tuck, it's guitar hero night and the kid who runs it is a big achewood fan. (the first time i went he was wearing the "what the hell people" shirt and i just about flipped out and we had a great talk.
you don't have to play guitar hero either, i just go to drink.
have fun in chicago, i live here and it is AWESOME! if you are going to be here until monday night by any chance come to friar tuck, it's guitar hero night and the kid who runs it is a big achewood fan. (the first time i went he was wearing the "what the hell people" shirt and i just about flipped out and we had a great talk.
you don't have to play guitar hero either, i just go to drink.
saulbellow
+0 -0
In the last panel, the cop seems to think that he has some kind of authority to force someone to come in and post bail for someone else.
Is this a true thing? I think it is not.
In the last panel, the cop seems to think that he has some kind of authority to force someone to come in and post bail for someone else.
Is this a true thing? I think it is not.
My wife died of being leered at, not funny at all.
A comment left by valorgigo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by o2b, blastradius, kylank, lamelliform, jollysaintpete, ActualTaunt, bo, LexSenthur, perhapsmaybe, motts)
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, gladi8orrex, SixtySwine, jfenserty, lamelliform, quaga, milkpants, Valorgigo, hardelicious, Appers, morbo)
A comment left by glyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, kylank, KaMeT, jollysaintpete)
Yeah, how dare they be original.
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mania3, hardelicious, pogo)
Dudes NEVER do what they say they will do.
drskradley, he does the things the dudes don't, by doing the thing he said he would do.
totally making him not a dude. Sick burn wilto!
HUGE slam on DrSkradley out of nowhere!
I don't usually do this sort of thing but...
[IMGS OFF]
Now, Dude, there's a name no one would self-apply where I come from.
Chubbied for Coens.
(I recently rewatched Raising Arizona, and formed a "high-pothesis" around the idea that Roast Beef's speech patterns and general malaise are descendents of HI McDunnough's.)
That film is sitting on the table next to me right now and I am planning to watch it tomorrow.
Why can't we like different things.
Do you have to use so many cuss words?
What the fuck're you talking about?
I am feeling fond emotions toward your username.
what . . . . what does that man have tucked between his legs? Good lord.
which man? what legs? are we looking at the same photo-shopped pic? From what I can tell, all he has tucked between his legs is a pair of basketball shorts, and no sense of what his face looks like when he dunks the ball
It's the inside of his shorts that sort of looks like a big orange thing at first.
With Skradley's head covering the ball, it looks he's made the dunk, let go of the hoop, is dropping down and the ball has bounced up and hit him in the rad chilies. Hence the facial expression.
Ash's head. In my mind, Dr. Skradley looks like Bruce Campbell and has a chainsaw for a hand.
can't unsee
It is completely insulting to not be a dude!
Odei knows what's up.
"non-bill-frist psots posts"
mmmmm... pistol whip.... *smacks lips*
Police Blotters truly are hilarious:
https://www.springsgov.com/units/police/policeblotter.asp
Murder, theft, stabbings, fatal car accidents caused by drunk drivers, sexual assault! This blotter has it all!
Hey, that is my city!
I'd like a slice of floor pie, with a heaping pistol-dollop of pistol whip.
I'm leering so hard right now.
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by c_dizzle, unquotable, Daravon, perhapsmaybe)
omg LOL (leering out loud)