untilyouaresonude
+65 -0
Ray has a right to BE angry. You don't encroach on a man's butt-cake desires. You don't.
Ray has a right to BE angry. You don't encroach on a man's butt-cake desires. You don't.
saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by getset_go, Overmedicated, sean1058, Mangtastic, sevenarts, milkpants, magnificentpoof, Direhaggis, Pigs)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by getset_go, Overmedicated, sean1058, Mangtastic, sevenarts, milkpants, magnificentpoof, Direhaggis, Pigs)
tekende
+138 -0
You should be thankful. If it weren't for Achewood, you wouldn't have anything to say, ever.
You should be thankful. If it weren't for Achewood, you wouldn't have anything to say, ever.
atticusonline
+2 -0
Holy shit Tekende. You are amazing.
Holy shit Tekende. You are amazing.
tangles
+0 -0
A comment left by tangles was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CygnusX-1, 7th_shot, madeupfred, trisha, obipam)
A comment left by tangles was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CygnusX-1, 7th_shot, madeupfred, trisha, obipam)
drskradley
+3 -0
Tekende brings the thunder. Throws that shit down.
Tekende brings the thunder. Throws that shit down.
fineoakstructure
+10 -0
except for that saint wasn't the guy always talking about quoting achewood all the time...it was that other guy...with the sealab avatar...why can't I remember his name? hell yes it was in latin or some shit. fucking dry martini and then gin and then scotch i'm scraping the bottom of the tasty tasty barrel now why i gotta post on on assetbaENDTRANSMISSION
except for that saint wasn't the guy always talking about quoting achewood all the time...it was that other guy...with the sealab avatar...why can't I remember his name? hell yes it was in latin or some shit. fucking dry martini and then gin and then scotch i'm scraping the bottom of the tasty tasty barrel now why i gotta post on on assetbaENDTRANSMISSION
tekende
+2 -0
Yeah, it was epicurus. I messed up. Oh well. I'll take my 54 chubbies anyway.
Yeah, it was epicurus. I messed up. Oh well. I'll take my 54 chubbies anyway.
fineoakstructure
+31 -0
It's so easy being tekende. I don't think any of my comments have 50 chubbies. Dude gets 54 chubbies on a mistake. Man, I'm totally quitting assetbar.
Is that how you spell quitting? I'm...I'm drinking gin again.
It's so easy being tekende. I don't think any of my comments have 50 chubbies. Dude gets 54 chubbies on a mistake. Man, I'm totally quitting assetbar.
Is that how you spell quitting? I'm...I'm drinking gin again.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Tekende joins the 100th Chubby Hall of Fame on an asterisk post.
I will often use "It's so easy being tekende."
Tekende joins the 100th Chubby Hall of Fame on an asterisk post.
I will often use "It's so easy being tekende."
soticoto
+0 -0
Tis a bitter kind of irony. Chubbs never go where they're deserved, and nor do the lames. And I'm not speaking about myself in any of this (I have plenty of both).
Tis a bitter kind of irony. Chubbs never go where they're deserved, and nor do the lames. And I'm not speaking about myself in any of this (I have plenty of both).
blitztrug
+0 -0
oops sorry dogg i lamed you on accident
oops sorry dogg i lamed you on accident
soticoto
+0 -0
Happens enough deliberately by some folk that I'm not sure it makes any difference any more.
Happens enough deliberately by some folk that I'm not sure it makes any difference any more.
splendorr
+0 -0
Wham! Pow! Oh, yeah!
Wham! Pow! Oh, yeah!
muchuduo
+2 -0
"Why you still talkin to me?" Hilarious. Who doesn't get angry when they're disturbed when they're watching porno?
"Why you still talkin to me?" Hilarious. Who doesn't get angry when they're disturbed when they're watching porno?
deancain29
+8 -0
but its not prono - its live sex...with cake.
but its not prono - its live sex...with cake.
spinynorman
+13 -2
Ray's dialogue gets noticeably blacker the angrier he gets. He drops verbs altogether until he sounds sorta like a badass Hattie McDaniel.
Ray's dialogue gets noticeably blacker the angrier he gets. He drops verbs altogether until he sounds sorta like a badass Hattie McDaniel.
scion
+0 -0
Not sure who you're referencing here; what I am sure of is that you are consistently insightful.
Not sure who you're referencing here; what I am sure of is that you are consistently insightful.
spinynorman
+2 -0
Mammy from Gone With the Wind.
Mammy from Gone With the Wind.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Serious mood-swing he does. Frikken hilarious. Pouty-face to bitch like a West Texas Norther, ya dig?
Serious mood-swing he does. Frikken hilarious. Pouty-face to bitch like a West Texas Norther, ya dig?
saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by incredibledeath, farqussus, tehloki, atticusonline, Art-Vader, DrSkradley, speedwell, Herr_Modin, Deancain29, Boredom_Man, Direhaggis, scraggg, slalvation)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by incredibledeath, farqussus, tehloki, atticusonline, Art-Vader, DrSkradley, speedwell, Herr_Modin, Deancain29, Boredom_Man, Direhaggis, scraggg, slalvation)
semiquaver
+2 -0
7 people failed to get it. I am proud.
7 people failed to get it. I am proud.
saint
+5 -1
...and Stephen Colbert wins. I was hoping someone would catch on. Turns out the internet has some morons surfing it. Who-da guessed?
...and Stephen Colbert wins. I was hoping someone would catch on. Turns out the internet has some morons surfing it. Who-da guessed?
semiquaver
+0 -0
Youtube. We seem to have caught a wave of them.
Youtube. We seem to have caught a wave of them.
hannah
+0 -0
A comment left by hannah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, atom, Connellingus)
A comment left by hannah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, atom, Connellingus)
andrew_
+10 -0
I've got the spirit!
I've got the spirit!
ravindra108
+3 -0
Your avatar makes this comment priceless.
Your avatar makes this comment priceless.
tourach3
+1 -1
in the immortal words of that scary guy in the 'california love' video:
CAN
YOU
DIG IT?!
in the immortal words of that scary guy in the 'california love' video:
CAN
YOU
DIG IT?!
natashamarie
+1 -1
Get your leech on.
Get your leech on.
abe
+1 -0
Can't hardly stop him.
Can't hardly stop him.
theunity
+8 -0
I would've just let it ring, personally.
I would've just let it ring, personally.
dropkickpikachu
+18 -1
He's just a crappy little bullshit man!
He's just a crappy little bullshit man!
upsilon
+3 -0
My favourite line from all of Achewood. It still makes me grin like an asinine man whenever I think of it.
My favourite line from all of Achewood. It still makes me grin like an asinine man whenever I think of it.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Ditto. "Just a crappy little bullshit man!" ranks with "Hell of..." as one of the phrases that I instantly connect with Achewood, and vice versa.
Ditto. "Just a crappy little bullshit man!" ranks with "Hell of..." as one of the phrases that I instantly connect with Achewood, and vice versa.
moolah
+0 -0
A comment left by moolah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, Jesler729, jezebel, lateadopter)
A comment left by moolah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, Jesler729, jezebel, lateadopter)
nurdbot
+1 -0
I think we've all done this when somebody calls in a private moment.
I think we've all done this when somebody calls in a private moment.
petitegitan
+12 -0
"Do you know who you are and why I am so mad at you?"
Note to self: use this line.
"Do you know who you are and why I am so mad at you?"
Note to self: use this line.
mrectomy
+0 -0
A comment left by mrectomy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, skviiier, chivalress, Art-Vader, aparrish)
A comment left by mrectomy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, skviiier, chivalress, Art-Vader, aparrish)
peppill
+1 -0
The absurdity of the original phrase is what makes it noteworthy. No one would look twice at the line you suggested because it's "normal".
The absurdity of the original phrase is what makes it noteworthy. No one would look twice at the line you suggested because it's "normal".
zapatos
+0 -0
man, aint no reason to be scared of an angry logical person. now a screaming nutjob with a knife and pancake face? terrifying.
man, aint no reason to be scared of an angry logical person. now a screaming nutjob with a knife and pancake face? terrifying.
sarabria
+10 -0
i love ray's "oops" face as he drops the sock.
i love ray's "oops" face as he drops the sock.
holly_golightly
+0 -0
I agree, I think the first four panels could have stood on their own, in fact.
I agree, I think the first four panels could have stood on their own, in fact.
le_chien_manquee
+4 -0
callipygian women sitting on birthday cakes; the fetish of kings
callipygian women sitting on birthday cakes; the fetish of kings
norsef
+0 -0
Yet he's still ashamed of it. Probably my favourite running gag. That and the constant threat of diabetes and Phillipe being overly upset.
Yet he's still ashamed of it. Probably my favourite running gag. That and the constant threat of diabetes and Phillipe being overly upset.
sabacc
+1 -0
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04292004
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04292004
behka
+4 -0
so now that ray is a breast man, does that mean that we won't be seeing him enjoy the 'birthday cake under bottoms of ladies' porn anymore? how sad.
so now that ray is a breast man, does that mean that we won't be seeing him enjoy the 'birthday cake under bottoms of ladies' porn anymore? how sad.
luckyg
+5 -0
What about cake being smashed under breasts?
What about cake being smashed under breasts?
werthog42
+13 -0
This is infinitely more appetizing.
This is infinitely more appetizing.
mo_rose
+1 -0
it's like while you're there you can have a drink too
it's like while you're there you can have a drink too
soticoto
+2 -0
Maybe nobody ever told you... but lactation clearly indicates there is likely to be a mini-human around (of the screamy & shitty variety).
Maybe nobody ever told you... but lactation clearly indicates there is likely to be a mini-human around (of the screamy & shitty variety).
stormagnet
+0 -0
Not necessarily- it's possible to induce lactation artificially.
Not necessarily- it's possible to induce lactation artificially.
soticoto
+0 -0
Maybe nobody ever told you... but the chance of any given lactation being artifically induced and there NOT in fact being a mini-human around... is rather small.
Maybe nobody ever told you... but the chance of any given lactation being artifically induced and there NOT in fact being a mini-human around... is rather small.
stormagnet
+6 -0
...it's often involved in a particular sub-genre of porn. There, you made me say it. I'm not happy with this knowledge, yet I inflict it upon others. This is because I Am A Pedant. Dammit.
...it's often involved in a particular sub-genre of porn. There, you made me say it. I'm not happy with this knowledge, yet I inflict it upon others. This is because I Am A Pedant. Dammit.
heccibiggs
+12 -0
I'm really starting to get worried about myself. I knew all about lactation-porn and cake-plus-body-parts-porn, and all other sorts of shit, before reading Achewood, when loads of other people on Assetbar have never heard of them and are extremely shocked by them.
I'm not trying to sound like one of those girls who's all "YEAH I WATCH PORN, AND WHAT??", because I totally don't (nor do I care if you are a porn-watching girl, get over it, it's not that big a deal you attention-seeking little bint). I mean I consider myself to be fairly mild in the way of sexuality. So why do I know about all sorts of fucked up stuff?
I'm really starting to get worried about myself. I knew all about lactation-porn and cake-plus-body-parts-porn, and all other sorts of shit, before reading Achewood, when loads of other people on Assetbar have never heard of them and are extremely shocked by them.
I'm not trying to sound like one of those girls who's all "YEAH I WATCH PORN, AND WHAT??", because I totally don't (nor do I care if you are a porn-watching girl, get over it, it's not that big a deal you attention-seeking little bint). I mean I consider myself to be fairly mild in the way of sexuality. So why do I know about all sorts of fucked up stuff?
lux
+1 -0
Sometimes you can't help but know things. It's like, I knew what a donkey punch and even (gasp) a blumpkin was in middle school, but I have absolutely no recollection of where I picked up this knowledge. Maybe provocative knowledge just filters in through our brains and is like "oh by the way men watch women sit on cakes this isn't too weird". Porn absorption?
Sometimes you can't help but know things. It's like, I knew what a donkey punch and even (gasp) a blumpkin was in middle school, but I have absolutely no recollection of where I picked up this knowledge. Maybe provocative knowledge just filters in through our brains and is like "oh by the way men watch women sit on cakes this isn't too weird". Porn absorption?
stormagnet
+1 -0
If you're anything like me, blame Usenet, lax supervision in the computer lab, and boredom.
If you're anything like me, blame Usenet, lax supervision in the computer lab, and boredom.
dartigen
+0 -0
Yeah this is basically the reason in like 85% of cases (replace Usenet with 'Google and Wikipedia' and you bascially have my case)
Yeah this is basically the reason in like 85% of cases (replace Usenet with 'Google and Wikipedia' and you bascially have my case)
zorglemeister
+1 -0
I know a disturbing amount about strange fetish stuff as well, I blame it on myself, as I was prone to hanging out with (as my mother so aptly put it) "The Wrong Crowd" in high school and college.
I know a disturbing amount about strange fetish stuff as well, I blame it on myself, as I was prone to hanging out with (as my mother so aptly put it) "The Wrong Crowd" in high school and college.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, hey, your avatar is The One Electronic. Neat.
Oh, hey, your avatar is The One Electronic. Neat.
aliiis
+1 -0
Chubby for not being and for your description of one of those girls. I think I am one of these girls that you are, maybe? And it's great!
Chubby for not being and for your description of one of those girls. I think I am one of these girls that you are, maybe? And it's great!
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
"nor do I care if you are a porn-watching girl, get over it, it's not that big a deal you attention-seeking little bint"
Exemplary.
"nor do I care if you are a porn-watching girl, get over it, it's not that big a deal you attention-seeking little bint"
Exemplary.
soticoto
+0 -0
You're a lady who likes ladies.
Probably leads to you seeing ladies in internet pictures doing all sorts of dirty things and then realising that you could do them too. Brings a level of understanding that men who like ladies could never have.
You're a lady who likes ladies.
Probably leads to you seeing ladies in internet pictures doing all sorts of dirty things and then realising that you could do them too. Brings a level of understanding that men who like ladies could never have.
soup_alex
+0 -0
It's okay, you're not alone.
It's okay, you're not alone.
centipede_damascus
+9 -0
Why would anyone think a squirrel is the brother of a cat.
Why would anyone think a squirrel is the brother of a cat.
jackparsons
+6 -0
Dementia Arms isn't named after the clientele, but the staff. We've all been in rehab clinics like that. I sure got my leech on.
Dementia Arms isn't named after the clientele, but the staff. We've all been in rehab clinics like that. I sure got my leech on.
nigelchaos
+3 -0
No one saw Ray drop Todd off.. They don't know that Ray is a cat!
No one saw Ray drop Todd off.. They don't know that Ray is a cat!
goosey
+12 -0
Dammit! Just as I was reading these comments, the phone rang. I really wanted to do a Ray response, but my sack was not wicked enough.
Dammit! Just as I was reading these comments, the phone rang. I really wanted to do a Ray response, but my sack was not wicked enough.
cailetshadow
+21 -0
In real life, women almost never punish people in this way.
In real life, women almost never punish people in this way.
i_love_kate
+12 -0
And when they do, it is more awkward than anything.
*sigh*
Oh, mother. Why, why would you do that at my eleventh birthday party?
And when they do, it is more awkward than anything.
*sigh*
Oh, mother. Why, why would you do that at my eleventh birthday party?
doubleplusgood
+0 -0
in regards to panel 5: ain't that always the way?
in regards to panel 5: ain't that always the way?
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
Todd getting his leech on is what caused all this
Todd getting his leech on is what caused all this
perilon
+0 -0
Rather, if Todd had only gotten his leech on properly without raising a hullabaloo, there would have been much more cake-squashing in this place.
Rather, if Todd had only gotten his leech on properly without raising a hullabaloo, there would have been much more cake-squashing in this place.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
I thought the Arms were phoning to ask Ray's permission to use leeches in Todd's treatment. Apparently their discount rehab program hasn't changed much since the 16th century .
I thought the Arms were phoning to ask Ray's permission to use leeches in Todd's treatment. Apparently their discount rehab program hasn't changed much since the 16th century .
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
they are but i speak facetiously
they are but i speak facetiously
neonaoneo
+0 -0
Ray looks so young in the first panel
Ray looks so young in the first panel
samuraieaux
+0 -0
He just a crappy little bullshit man! Everyone can see that!
He just a crappy little bullshit man! Everyone can see that!
the_stoned_one
+0 -0
Todd is probably the ultimate turn off
Todd is probably the ultimate turn off
charchar
+2 -0
How to get your leech on
How to get your leech on
heccibiggs
+0 -0
How odd.
How odd.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh man I totally remembered what this was from when you first posted it, before I even clicked on the link. Then I clicked on the link anyway, for some reason.
Oh man I totally remembered what this was from when you first posted it, before I even clicked on the link. Then I clicked on the link anyway, for some reason.
geozimmdrake
+1 -0
this might be my favorite strip of all time.
this might be my favorite strip of all time.
fuzzyrobot
+0 -0
Today, completely by accident, I happened upon a short video of a a semi-nude young woman gyrating buttocks-first upon a chocolate cake
Ray, I am very glad that you are now a breast man.
Today, completely by accident, I happened upon a short video of a a semi-nude young woman gyrating buttocks-first upon a chocolate cake
Ray, I am very glad that you are now a breast man.
featurelessvoid
+5 -0
That doesn't sound like the sort of thing that one finds accidentally .
That doesn't sound like the sort of thing that one finds accidentally .
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
People keep telling me that Google is run by an "algorithm." Nonsense, I say, it's run by accident.
People keep telling me that Google is run by an "algorithm." Nonsense, I say, it's run by accident.
atticusonline
+1 -0
Nonsense!
Nonsense!
nickb285
+1 -0
Once he gets goin', he can't stop, or he'll get maaaad...
Once he gets goin', he can't stop, or he'll get maaaad...
maledictis
+0 -0
It just blows my mind how this comic can just be so GOOD.
It just blows my mind how this comic can just be so GOOD.
A comment left by klaus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Chetyre, wildcat, seymourglass, mrchee, pogo)