wittyname
+0 -0
Holy crap, it's the guy that was selling corn in the supermarket.
Holy crap, it's the guy that was selling corn in the supermarket.
connellingus
+8 -0
Close .
Close .
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Holy crap, its connellingus.
Holy crap, its connellingus.
woodjay
+2 -0
Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We're gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight!
Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We're gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight!
comrade_tom
+2 -0
I never cared much for Colonel Angus.
I never cared much for Colonel Angus.
falseprophet
+2 -0
Me neither. I guess he just never really rubbed me the right way.
Me neither. I guess he just never really rubbed me the right way.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And he always has such awful breath
And he always has such awful breath
kamet
+0 -0
No one's supposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers.
No one's supposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers.
hedonismbot
+3 -0
Let me introduce you to a new theory on the way a bathing suit works. I promise it will make you more popular, if a little chilly.
Let me introduce you to a new theory on the way a bathing suit works. I promise it will make you more popular, if a little chilly.
apricotta
+0 -0
Hey hedonismbot, a couple of days ago you promised to change your avatar so that it would be more consistent with your name. Bender is no more consistent than Belzebot!
Oh God you probably don't know who I am and now I look like a creepy stalker I'm so sorry
Hey hedonismbot, a couple of days ago you promised to change your avatar so that it would be more consistent with your name. Bender is no more consistent than Belzebot!
Oh God you probably don't know who I am and now I look like a creepy stalker I'm so sorry
loneal
+1 -0
Yes, yes, apologize for being a creepy stalker to hedonismbot .
Yes, yes, apologize for being a creepy stalker to hedonismbot .
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Sorry, I was out this weekend finding loneal's new place now that she's home. I have no idea what you are talking about avatar-wise though, I thought mine was perfect now? Am, am I still flawed ?
Sorry, I was out this weekend finding loneal's new place now that she's home. I have no idea what you are talking about avatar-wise though, I thought mine was perfect now? Am, am I still flawed ?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Wash your mouth out with soap this instant!
Wash your mouth out with soap this instant!
thepunchman
+0 -0
I'd recognize that griddled corn pushing knucklehead anywhere.
I'd recognize that griddled corn pushing knucklehead anywhere.
morypcaina
+0 -0
VChub. Damn. Even the "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy[s]"...
VChub. Damn. Even the "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy[s]"...
lamelliform
+0 -0
Is it wrong that in my mind, I imagine Ray's hacky friend having the same voice as Gilbert Gottfried?
Is it wrong that in my mind, I imagine Ray's hacky friend having the same voice as Gilbert Gottfried?
andersmn
+0 -0
a little
a little
evilawesome
+5 -0
I hear it as more of an Isaac Hayes.
I hear it as more of an Isaac Hayes.
daidai
+3 -0
I hear the guy from Nickelback. All exhaling after every word.
douche
I hear the guy from Nickelback. All exhaling after every word.
douche
achilleselbow
+2 -0
As opposed to Conor Oberst, who inhales after every word.
As opposed to Conor Oberst, who inhales after every word.
saulbellow
+0 -1
But he has such a firm grasp on the issues of today!
But he has such a firm grasp on the issues of today!
laserblade
+0 -0
Like eyeliner!
Like eyeliner!
contrasoma
+66 -0
I grew up a couple towns outside of Vancouver, meaning that for several more years than the rest of the western world, I had to endure Nickelback on local radio and the like while they were incessantly touring the local bars in an attempt to Make It Big.
Late one night, some friends and I were walking home after having rented a couple of horror movies. En route, we briefly stopped in the parking lot of the one and only nightclub in our shithole town (which had a strip club in the back famous for, I kid thee not, anal fisting). I can't remember why we stopped there - maybe a couple of people were splitting off to go elsewhere, maybe people were bumming smokes, maybe someone needed to tie their shoe. The important part is that we were noticed by a small group of guys standing about forty feet away beside a van. There wasn't much lighting, and neither group could see the other very well.
"Hey!" one of the men by the van called out. "Do you guys want our autographs or something?"
There was an awkward silence. None of us knew how to respond to such an odd conversation opener. Finally, one of our group made an attempt. "Um, why would we? Who are you?"
"We're Nickelback!" came the enthusiastic reply.
There was an even more awkward silence. Finally, another person in our group (who just wanted to GO HOME AND WATCH ZOMBIE MOVIES FOR PETE'S SAKE) screwed their courage to the sticking place: "Um. No thanks."
Another, even more awkward yet slightly deflated silence ensued. We walked home.
I grew up a couple towns outside of Vancouver, meaning that for several more years than the rest of the western world, I had to endure Nickelback on local radio and the like while they were incessantly touring the local bars in an attempt to Make It Big.
Late one night, some friends and I were walking home after having rented a couple of horror movies. En route, we briefly stopped in the parking lot of the one and only nightclub in our shithole town (which had a strip club in the back famous for, I kid thee not, anal fisting). I can't remember why we stopped there - maybe a couple of people were splitting off to go elsewhere, maybe people were bumming smokes, maybe someone needed to tie their shoe. The important part is that we were noticed by a small group of guys standing about forty feet away beside a van. There wasn't much lighting, and neither group could see the other very well.
"Hey!" one of the men by the van called out. "Do you guys want our autographs or something?"
There was an awkward silence. None of us knew how to respond to such an odd conversation opener. Finally, one of our group made an attempt. "Um, why would we? Who are you?"
"We're Nickelback!" came the enthusiastic reply.
There was an even more awkward silence. Finally, another person in our group (who just wanted to GO HOME AND WATCH ZOMBIE MOVIES FOR PETE'S SAKE) screwed their courage to the sticking place: "Um. No thanks."
Another, even more awkward yet slightly deflated silence ensued. We walked home.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
A better answer would have been "...who?"
A better answer would have been "...who?"
contrasoma
+4 -0
You are entirely correct. Unfortunately, their sheer ubiquity in local media at that point had probably clouded our judgment beyond such a snappy reply. If it makes amends in any way, to this day my response to queries of "are you (guys) in a band?" is a dead-pan "Krokus".
You are entirely correct. Unfortunately, their sheer ubiquity in local media at that point had probably clouded our judgment beyond such a snappy reply. If it makes amends in any way, to this day my response to queries of "are you (guys) in a band?" is a dead-pan "Krokus".
laserblade
+0 -0
Plus, they might have taken it as an invitation to play a song.
Plus, they might have taken it as an invitation to play a song.
usversusthem
+13 -0
That, or, "Sorry, I'm not into Pokemon."
That, or, "Sorry, I'm not into Pokemon."
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Hahahaha, right one.
Hahahaha, right one.
fuckyoufriday
+5 -0
A better answer would have been "...anal fisting?"
A better answer would have been "...anal fisting?"
yearsinhotclaws
+8 -0
A better answer would be if you were a robot sent from the future to kill nickleback and you ran up to the lead singer and crushed his skull with your hands.
A better answer would be if you were a robot sent from the future to kill nickleback and you ran up to the lead singer and crushed his skull with your hands.
daidai
+4 -0
Woah you met Nickelback?
You might wanna get yourself checked. You might have caught some of their suck. They suck so much it pretty much has to be contagious.
Woah you met Nickelback?
You might wanna get yourself checked. You might have caught some of their suck. They suck so much it pretty much has to be contagious.
contrasoma
+1 -0
Like I said - about forty feet. Vancouver also houses Bryan Adams and Michael Buble - if suck was airborne transmissible at that distance the entire city would have been reduced to "Fist of the North Star" desolation by the mid-90s.
Like I said - about forty feet. Vancouver also houses Bryan Adams and Michael Buble - if suck was airborne transmissible at that distance the entire city would have been reduced to "Fist of the North Star" desolation by the mid-90s.
daidai
+0 -0
Is it wrong to say I liked a Michael Buble song?
Cause I kind of liked the retooled "Can't Buy Me Love" kinda.
Sorry. :(
Is it wrong to say I liked a Michael Buble song?
Cause I kind of liked the retooled "Can't Buy Me Love" kinda.
Sorry. :(
cromar
+0 -0
Is it wrong to say I liked Fist of the North Star?
Is it wrong to say I liked Fist of the North Star?
catgrl131
+17 -1
Is it wrong to say I like anal fisting?
Is it wrong to say I like anal fisting?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
pogo?
pogo?
pogo
+0 -0
Way out of my league, this anal stuff.
Way out of my league, this anal stuff.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
Pogo - I know you've been compared to Abe Simpson.. but has anyone compared you to Cornelius? Or am I just really late to the party?
Pogo - I know you've been compared to Abe Simpson.. but has anyone compared you to Cornelius? Or am I just really late to the party?
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Did you wash up before that facehand pic?
Did you wash up before that facehand pic?
factorial
+2 -0
Mom?
Mom?
squares
+0 -0
Seems only fitting to give this comment a chubby.
Seems only fitting to give this comment a chubby.
colorlessness
+0 -0
Anal fisting is never wrong.
Anal fisting is never wrong.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Even if Hitler does it?
Even if Hitler does it?
colorlessness
+0 -0
Actually, one of the few things which redeemed Hitler was his love of anal fisting.
Actually, one of the few things which redeemed Hitler was his love of anal fisting.
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
And his love for klits
And his love for klits
jonmw
+0 -1
That is like asking if it is wrong to say that you basically have aids
That is like asking if it is wrong to say that you basically have aids
-0_0-
+0 -0
A comment left by -0_0- was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, skiddysmith, Tipist)
A comment left by -0_0- was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, skiddysmith, Tipist)
-0_0-
+0 -0
being lamed for this, here, is better than a hundred chubbies
being lamed for this, here, is better than a hundred chubbies
plummet
+2 -0
no
you are only allowed to like things we like
and we say that there anny-mae is for queers .
you from texas, boy? you a queer ?
no
you are only allowed to like things we like
and we say that there anny-mae is for queers .
you from texas, boy? you a queer ?
grayestnova
+0 -0
As a person from Alberta, the land from whence they came, I am made extremely... happy by this story.
Mostly because they are terrible and the radio stations firmly believe that because they are Albertan, we much play their songs. All the time.
As a person from Alberta, the land from whence they came, I am made extremely... happy by this story.
Mostly because they are terrible and the radio stations firmly believe that because they are Albertan, we much play their songs. All the time.
trap
+0 -0
I'm not only from Alberta, but I go to the same school that Nickelback came from. We've got a goddamn mural of the fuckers on our wall, right next to my locker.
I'm not only from Alberta, but I go to the same school that Nickelback came from. We've got a goddamn mural of the fuckers on our wall, right next to my locker.
octafish
+0 -0
You should probably convince your parents to home-school you then. I went to the same school as Chrissy Amphlett, funnily enough our school did not promote this.
You should probably convince your parents to home-school you then. I went to the same school as Chrissy Amphlett, funnily enough our school did not promote this.
contrasoma
+1 -1
Tell your principal that you don't think a mural celebrating the success of a convicted drunk driver is a constructive message to be giving the youth of your school.
That's right kids: it's okay to narc if it saves rock n' roll.
Tell your principal that you don't think a mural celebrating the success of a convicted drunk driver is a constructive message to be giving the youth of your school.
That's right kids: it's okay to narc if it saves rock n' roll.
contrasoma
+0 -0
Gah. [url=https://72.14.205.104/search?q=cache:YFbI8b3nfc4J:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Kroeger %22Kroeger was convicted for driving with a blood-alcohol concentration over .08%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=ca]here[/url].
Gah. [url=https://72.14.205.104/search?q=cache:YFbI8b3nfc4J:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Kroeger %22Kroeger was convicted for driving with a blood-alcohol concentration over .08%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=ca]here[/url].
octafish
+0 -0
Gah indeed. Gah indeed.
All together now ...FUCK YOU ASSETBAR!
Gah indeed. Gah indeed.
All together now ...FUCK YOU ASSETBAR!
quazifuji
+23 -0
[IMGS OFF]
MSPaint (who needs Photoshop?) was giving me problems with font sizes, so I couldn't get the whole sentence in.
[IMGS OFF]
MSPaint (who needs Photoshop?) was giving me problems with font sizes, so I couldn't get the whole sentence in.
yearsinhotclaws
+5 -0
I guess thats one reason you might need photoshop...
I guess thats one reason you might need photoshop...
plummet
+0 -0
holy fucking shit dude
holy fucking shit dude
wonelove
+0 -0
my marriage was doomed to peril because of assetbar
my marriage was doomed to peril because of assetbar
contrasoma
+1 -0
Die the death of one who is flayed alive by the beaks of the five thousand black ravens who herald the coming of Nyarlathotep, assetbar.
Die the death of one who is flayed alive by the beaks of the five thousand black ravens who herald the coming of Nyarlathotep, assetbar.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
ASSETBARRRRRR!
YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS!
ASSETBARRRRRR!
YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS!
yearsinhotclaws
+17 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
edwell
+0 -0
Ace vs the Nazis, or Roger Corman's Spider-Man: 1980 ?
Ace vs the Nazis, or Roger Corman's Spider-Man: 1980 ?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Jimmy Cliff: Bongo Man
Jimmy Cliff: Bongo Man
hexjumper
+0 -0
Ace Rimmer, of the British SF comedy Red Dwarf.
If you think that's cool, wait until he surfs up to a falling Nazi and gets the crocodile to chomp down on the Nazi's head.
Or is it an alligator? Only the Nazi, his head chomped, would know.
Ace Rimmer, of the British SF comedy Red Dwarf.
If you think that's cool, wait until he surfs up to a falling Nazi and gets the crocodile to chomp down on the Nazi's head.
Or is it an alligator? Only the Nazi, his head chomped, would know.
weapon86
+0 -0
We're lucky we escaped with our lives....that was Ace Rimmer!!
We're lucky we escaped with our lives....that was Ace Rimmer!!
kittydragon
+0 -0
I don't know what this is, but he is riding a flying crocodile, so that makes it awesome.
I don't know what this is, but he is riding a flying crocodile, so that makes it awesome.
endsmouth
+3 -0
What a guy!
What a guy!
grayestnova
+0 -0
In Southern Alberta, DUI is not something to be socially ostracized for.
It is, to quote some, 'totally ballin'.
In Southern Alberta, DUI is not something to be socially ostracized for.
It is, to quote some, 'totally ballin'.
invidious
+0 -2
Quote:
You think you had it bad? I grew up in Sacramento. I had to listen to CAKE for YEARS before they hit the mainstream.
I guess it could've been worse. At least I didn't live near Fred Durst.
Quote:
I grew up a couple towns outside of Vancouver, meaning that for several more years than the rest of the western world, I had to endure Nickelback on local radio and the like while they were incessantly touring the local bars in an attempt to Make It Big.
You think you had it bad? I grew up in Sacramento. I had to listen to CAKE for YEARS before they hit the mainstream.
I guess it could've been worse. At least I didn't live near Fred Durst.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Why is Cake constantly coming up? And Cake is awesome, so suck my left one.
Why is Cake constantly coming up? And Cake is awesome, so suck my left one.
woodjay
+0 -0
hey, some people drink pepsi, some people drink coke.
hey, some people drink pepsi, some people drink coke.
severide
+2 -1
Some people drink Royal Crown, some people drink pus-infused urine with glass shards and fire floating on top.
Some people drink Royal Crown, some people drink pus-infused urine with glass shards and fire floating on top.
jollysaintpete
+3 -0
that's crazy dude, cuz sometimes i drink royal crown too
that's crazy dude, cuz sometimes i drink royal crown too
fallow_fields
+5 -0
I live close to where Crown Royal is distilled... I got to drink it years before it made it started touring the International Whiskeys Scene
I live close to where Crown Royal is distilled... I got to drink it years before it made it started touring the International Whiskeys Scene
thorfinn
+0 -0
No you did not, because you are only 21, and it has been on the international market for much longer than this. You are a liar.
No you did not, because you are only 21, and it has been on the international market for much longer than this. You are a liar.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Haha, he called you on it dude!
Haha, he called you on it dude!
fallow_fields
+0 -0
I do live near Gimli, but you're right about the second part. Haha, I didn't think before I posted that comment. I just assume that all good things have happened since I was born
I do live near Gimli, but you're right about the second part. Haha, I didn't think before I posted that comment. I just assume that all good things have happened since I was born
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Gimli? But what about HIS AXE?
Gimli? But what about HIS AXE?
fallow_fields
+0 -0
That whiskey is too rich for me anyway. I prefer the exquisite "Whatever's On Sale" blend, or the full bodied "Comes With a Prize" vintage
That whiskey is too rich for me anyway. I prefer the exquisite "Whatever's On Sale" blend, or the full bodied "Comes With a Prize" vintage
grunchorelaxo
+0 -0
Some people chew glass; some people are freaks.
Some people chew glass; some people are freaks.
rawk5tar
+1 -0
Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Some people call me the Gangster of Love.
Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Some people call me the Gangster of Love.
kamet
+0 -0
Some people call me Maurice.. but they're just crazy.
Some people call me Maurice.. but they're just crazy.
chuvak
+0 -0
The wacky morning DeeJay
ah fuck it.
The wacky morning DeeJay
ah fuck it.
kittydragon
+0 -0
I will suck the right one, so there.
I will suck the right one, so there.
the_rich
+1 -0
Cake is not awesome, they only sound that way when you're drunk. the same goes for Sister Hazel, Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson.
Cake is not awesome, they only sound that way when you're drunk. the same goes for Sister Hazel, Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson.
thorfinn
+0 -0
A comment left by thorfinn was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Contrasoma, TommyTheBrat, blacksheepboy)
A comment left by thorfinn was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Contrasoma, TommyTheBrat, blacksheepboy)
yearsinhotclaws
+5 -1
Dave Matthews pretty much besmirches his name whenever he produces a sound that gets played through a speaker.
Dave Matthews pretty much besmirches his name whenever he produces a sound that gets played through a speaker.
kamet
+0 -0
Wooord!
Wooord!
colorlessness
+1 -0
Regardless of your feelings on the correct use of possessives, "Matthews's" sounds horrible when you try to pronounce it. It is in much the same manner that Mr. Matthews's musical group sounds.
Regardless of your feelings on the correct use of possessives, "Matthews's" sounds horrible when you try to pronounce it. It is in much the same manner that Mr. Matthews's musical group sounds.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you really defending Dave Matthews? Here, take your pants off, this is gonna be AWESOME , brah!
Honestly, I thought the_rich was giving them too much of a compliment. The only way I could enjoy any of those bands when drunk is if I got so drunk that I passed out and couldn't hear them anymore.
Are you really defending Dave Matthews? Here, take your pants off, this is gonna be AWESOME , brah!
Honestly, I thought the_rich was giving them too much of a compliment. The only way I could enjoy any of those bands when drunk is if I got so drunk that I passed out and couldn't hear them anymore.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I don't know guys, Cake actually is kind of cute on occasion, the other bands are just terrible, just terrible. One of those things is not like the other and such.
I don't know guys, Cake actually is kind of cute on occasion, the other bands are just terrible, just terrible. One of those things is not like the other and such.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Cake would be infintely better if they got a new lead singer/lyricist.
Cake would be infintely better if they got a new lead singer/lyricist.
maximus
+0 -0
Yeah - I hear that they're really sincere now and sorry about all that smug stuff they used to do.
Yeah - I hear that they're really sincere now and sorry about all that smug stuff they used to do.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I never got the accusations that CAKE was "smug." Maybe its from people who heard their cover of "I Will Survive" and thought they were being sarcastic. They actually liked that song though. At any rate, CAKE fell off in a major way after Fashion Nugget.
So is it spoken, so shall it ever be .
I never got the accusations that CAKE was "smug." Maybe its from people who heard their cover of "I Will Survive" and thought they were being sarcastic. They actually liked that song though. At any rate, CAKE fell off in a major way after Fashion Nugget.
So is it spoken, so shall it ever be .
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Why have I never heard of this band?
Why have I never heard of this band?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I was thinking this when they were discussing it a while ago. Some kind of weird yank in-joke.
I was thinking this when they were discussing it a while ago. Some kind of weird yank in-joke.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I'm not sure who you guys are responding to, but if you're talking about CAKE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg
Then there ya go.
I'm not sure who you guys are responding to, but if you're talking about CAKE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg
Then there ya go.
howl
+0 -0
Listen, I don't get most of the pop culture references on this board, and the one that I did recognize was CAKE. This still isn't enough to make up for knowing of their existence, though.
Listen, I don't get most of the pop culture references on this board, and the one that I did recognize was CAKE. This still isn't enough to make up for knowing of their existence, though.
kazad
+0 -0
...yay for Spoon?
...yay for Spoon?
kamet
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -0
Virtual chubby for the Tick, just mad props man
Virtual chubby for the Tick, just mad props man
nigelchaos
+1 -0
The Tick: Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception.
The Tick: Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Or you could've lived anywhere in America and had to deal with "Mandatory Metallica."
Or you could've lived anywhere in America and had to deal with "Mandatory Metallica."
woodjay
+0 -0
That's pretty much any clear-channel rock station right? I've sometimes wondered if there are places out there that have playing of requisite RUSH or quintessential Queesnryche
That's pretty much any clear-channel rock station right? I've sometimes wondered if there are places out there that have playing of requisite RUSH or quintessential Queesnryche
chuvak
+0 -0
Necessary Nickleback
Necessary Nickleback
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Obligatory Oasis or Obligatory Of Montreal.
Whoever wins, we lose.
Obligatory Oasis or Obligatory Of Montreal.
Whoever wins, we lose.
gmm
+0 -0
But Of Montreal is one of the best things in life and Oasis is one of the worst things in life.
But Of Montreal is one of the best things in life and Oasis is one of the worst things in life.
kickstart
+0 -0
my college station did Compulsory KISS
my college station did Compulsory KISS
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Damn, I was looking for some shitty band to go with compulsory and couldn't think of one.
Damn, I was looking for some shitty band to go with compulsory and couldn't think of one.
falseprophet
+2 -0
The correct answer is Creed.
The correct answer is Creed.
falseprophet
+0 -0
We didn't have anything like that at my college, but it we did it would have been Imperative Interpol or Destined Deerhoof.
We didn't have anything like that at my college, but it we did it would have been Imperative Interpol or Destined Deerhoof.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Hmm maybe Mars Volta Ultramate Faggot Nightmare Hour.
Hmm maybe Mars Volta Ultramate Faggot Nightmare Hour.
kickstart
+0 -0
man I would tune that shit in and RIP OFF THE KNOB!!!!!!
man I would tune that shit in and RIP OFF THE KNOB!!!!!!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Locally we had Totally Tool replace Mandatory Metallica for a while. It wasn't too bad. Also, Getting the Led Out was rather nice. Go KATT
Locally we had Totally Tool replace Mandatory Metallica for a while. It wasn't too bad. Also, Getting the Led Out was rather nice. Go KATT
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Nah, u confused :D:D:D:D
Nah, u confused :D:D:D:D
rawk5tar
+0 -0
Of Montreal reminds me of the time I crammed half a pound of fire ants into my ear hole.
Of Montreal reminds me of the time I crammed half a pound of fire ants into my ear hole.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Even if Lyle wins?
Even if Lyle wins?
woodjay
+0 -1
I have a fear that by saying this, it now exists somewhere... like a cruel twist on rule 34
I have a fear that by saying this, it now exists somewhere... like a cruel twist on rule 34
woodjay
+0 -1
oh shit, oh god, did I just invoke rule 34 on nickleback?
oh shit, oh god, did I just invoke rule 34 on nickleback?
plummet
+0 -1
rules one and two newfag
rules one and two newfag
plummet
+1 -0
i didn't mean that in an overly rude way but i believe that no one should be a cock to a stranger ever so i will accept my lames with humility for this
i didn't mean that in an overly rude way but i believe that no one should be a cock to a stranger ever so i will accept my lames with humility for this
semiquaver
+0 -0
Nickleback is never Necessary.
Nickleback is never Necessary.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Little known fact: there is no place that Metallica comes from. Think about it.
Little known fact: there is no place that Metallica comes from. Think about it.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Metallica is not a young band. It is old and dirty, evil. Before the fans, before the records, before the band members even met, the evil was there, waiting.
Metallica is not a young band. It is old and dirty, evil. Before the fans, before the records, before the band members even met, the evil was there, waiting.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
"They didn't start sucking til Load"
"They didn't start sucking til Load"
achilleselbow
+1 -0
As someone commented on that strip, they actually started sucking with the much-vaunted "Black Album". But I'll be damned if everything 'till then wasn't awesome.
As someone commented on that strip, they actually started sucking with the much-vaunted "Black Album". But I'll be damned if everything 'till then wasn't awesome.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I mark the Black Album as a downturn, but not actual suck. I will also state their first album was weak, and amateur hour. Everything in the middle was great.
I mark the Black Album as a downturn, but not actual suck. I will also state their first album was weak, and amateur hour. Everything in the middle was great.
kamet
+0 -0
Chubbaaay
Chubbaaay
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Aw man, no you di'int! "Kill 'Em All" is the only one I can really get behind. The Kirk Hammett solos aren't yet the Vai-Malmsteen wankathons of every proceeding effort, the NWOBHM, Motorhead, Sabbath & Venom influences are at their strongest, the production isn't all Metal Blade... I hate when people have differing opinions from mine! ARGH!!
Aw man, no you di'int! "Kill 'Em All" is the only one I can really get behind. The Kirk Hammett solos aren't yet the Vai-Malmsteen wankathons of every proceeding effort, the NWOBHM, Motorhead, Sabbath & Venom influences are at their strongest, the production isn't all Metal Blade... I hate when people have differing opinions from mine! ARGH!!
grayestnova
+0 -0
Fuck, you have Mandatory Metallica tim in America as well?
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.
Once I did phone and ask why it is mandatory, are we being punished or some such thing?
I think I won a keychain for being witty. I never went to pick it up.
Fuck, you have Mandatory Metallica tim in America as well?
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.
Once I did phone and ask why it is mandatory, are we being punished or some such thing?
I think I won a keychain for being witty. I never went to pick it up.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
sorry babe you can't escape the ROCK
sorry babe you can't escape the ROCK
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Quote:
Quote:
sorry babe you can't escape the SUCK
grayestnova
+0 -0
I chubbied this because I am 99% sure that is what they said.
Hooray for recreated terrible experiences!
I chubbied this because I am 99% sure that is what they said.
Hooray for recreated terrible experiences!
grunchorelaxo
+0 -0
In Timmins, Ontario, the Hollinger Mine tour is accessible only via the goddamned Shania Twain Museum.
The less-than-subtle implication splashed across every wall is that the woman basically invented music. It's unsettling.
In Timmins, Ontario, the Hollinger Mine tour is accessible only via the goddamned Shania Twain Museum.
The less-than-subtle implication splashed across every wall is that the woman basically invented music. It's unsettling.
sandswipe
+0 -0
Cake is great. Unfortunately, their lead singer wants to give up music to be a farmer. I shit thee not, FARMER.
https://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/cake-lead-singer-eyeing-farm/story.aspx?guid={ACFAF9C0-D9FF-4D75-B7CF-F0483E52A0A3}
There is supposed to be one more album next year, at least.
Cake is great. Unfortunately, their lead singer wants to give up music to be a farmer. I shit thee not, FARMER.
https://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/cake-lead-singer-eyeing-farm/story.aspx?guid={ACFAF9C0-D9FF-4D75-B7CF-F0483E52A0A3}
There is supposed to be one more album next year, at least.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Did someone say anal fisting?
Did someone say anal fisting?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yes. Yes they did.
Yes. Yes they did.
theirateturk
+0 -0
It's important that we look after each other
:)
It's important that we look after each other
:)
notcool
+0 -0
They still remember this conversation.
They can buy a small town, but they still remember this particular conversation, where a group of the specific target demographic that they are marketed towards SHUT THEM DOWN.
They then cry into their stacks of hundos.
I know you're part of this demographic 'cause you're walking around town at night, bummin' smokes, on your way to watch horror movies.
They still remember this conversation.
They can buy a small town, but they still remember this particular conversation, where a group of the specific target demographic that they are marketed towards SHUT THEM DOWN.
They then cry into their stacks of hundos.
I know you're part of this demographic 'cause you're walking around town at night, bummin' smokes, on your way to watch horror movies.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
I bet they were disappointed that everyone else was there to see the fisting.
I bet they were disappointed that everyone else was there to see the fisting.
hobbes557
+0 -0
I'm incapable of hearing AKKOLADE as anybody but Meatloaf.
I'm incapable of hearing AKKOLADE as anybody but Meatloaf.
lazarusloafer
+0 -0
YES.
YES.
falseprophet
+2 -1
I went straight to Chef from South Park.
I went straight to Chef from South Park.
quaga
+6 -0
aka Isaac Hayes
aka Isaac Hayes
falseprophet
+2 -0
Yes but I kind of feel like this: if Chef is a caricature of Isaac Hayes then this guy is a caricature of a caricature of Isaac Hayes. That definitely makes him hacky, as Molly described, but I don't know... the strip today left me a little dry ...
Yes but I kind of feel like this: if Chef is a caricature of Isaac Hayes then this guy is a caricature of a caricature of Isaac Hayes. That definitely makes him hacky, as Molly described, but I don't know... the strip today left me a little dry ...
jbacardi
+0 -0
Barry White, guys...
Barry White, guys...
molesticide
+0 -0
really? is that who isaac hayes is?
really? is that who isaac hayes is?
horace_lung
+0 -0
Is Barry White?
Is Barry White?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
Beats me, those R&B guys all look the same to me.
Beats me, those R&B guys all look the same to me.
daidai
+0 -0
I'm the same way with white people
I'm the same way with white people
hedonismbot
+1 -0
You look the same to them? Shit I can't follow this thread.
You look the same to them? Shit I can't follow this thread.
molesticide
+0 -0
i think he means that white people beat him, those R&B guys. right? fuck don't CONFUSE me hedonismbot what is your DEAL
i think he means that white people beat him, those R&B guys. right? fuck don't CONFUSE me hedonismbot what is your DEAL
charhe
+0 -0
All these comments look the same to me.
All these comments look the same to me.
cromar
+1 -0
I don't see color!
I don't see color!
woodjay
+0 -0
The colors duke! the COLORS!
The colors duke! the COLORS!
hoboninja
+1 -1
AND MY AXE.
AND MY AXE.
catgrl131
+3 -0
NO
NO
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Ok ok hold the fuck up hold the fuck up
I'm looking round this bitch
I see a lot of niggas aint throwin up shit (What)
Ya'll niggas must be scared to represent yo shit (You scared)
You must be scared nigga (Scared)
Fuck that shit
All my real niggas that proud of they hood
All my real ladies that's proud of they hood
And they aint never been scared
Say this shit
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Ok ok hold the fuck up hold the fuck up
I'm looking round this bitch
I see a lot of niggas aint throwin up shit (What)
Ya'll niggas must be scared to represent yo shit (You scared)
You must be scared nigga (Scared)
Fuck that shit
All my real niggas that proud of they hood
All my real ladies that's proud of they hood
And they aint never been scared
Say this shit
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
Bitch I aint scared
I aint scared mothafucka
aperson
+2 -0
Phillipe's latest motivational tape?
Phillipe's latest motivational tape?
squares
+0 -0
In a moment he's gonna compare his junk to dog food.
In a moment he's gonna compare his junk to dog food.
the_rich
+0 -1
Ahh yes the native chants of my youth. Lil John surely tapped into the vestibule of African American youth of not being scared of A. Whitey B. Crackers. C. Other Niggas. If only he included a verse about riddin' on 26 inch rims, drinking 30's of malt liquor and eating Churches Chicken while getting brain from a "hoe" then it would be the black national anthem. Obama should have this as his theme song.
Ahh yes the native chants of my youth. Lil John surely tapped into the vestibule of African American youth of not being scared of A. Whitey B. Crackers. C. Other Niggas. If only he included a verse about riddin' on 26 inch rims, drinking 30's of malt liquor and eating Churches Chicken while getting brain from a "hoe" then it would be the black national anthem. Obama should have this as his theme song.
falseprophet
+6 -0
Oh my God. Is there another black person on assetbar?
Now I can finally go on vacation.
Oh my God. Is there another black person on assetbar?
Now I can finally go on vacation.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm 10% black! Guess which ten percent...
I'm 10% black! Guess which ten percent...
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I'm guessing you bought a grill with all that money?
Cause it definitely isn't your dick.
I'm guessing you bought a grill with all that money?
Cause it definitely isn't your dick.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
That's not what the woman on that album cover said.
That's not what the woman on that album cover said.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Only if the Presidential Election is turned into a Heavyweight Boxing match!
Only if the Presidential Election is turned into a Heavyweight Boxing match!
nigelchaos
+0 -0
you the angry rapper..
me the english language
you the angry rapper..
me the english language
lambchop
+0 -0
YUP.
But a Barry White who is OK with going head-to-head with Christina Aguilera (Augiliera? Aggyoulurrah) if the exclamation should call for such.
YUP.
But a Barry White who is OK with going head-to-head with Christina Aguilera (Augiliera? Aggyoulurrah) if the exclamation should call for such.
kittydragon
+0 -0
Aguilaeireia.
Aguilaeireia.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Long ago when you typed Aguilera into MSWord, the spellchecker asked if you were trying to spell "Uglier."
Long ago when you typed Aguilera into MSWord, the spellchecker asked if you were trying to spell "Uglier."
kamet
+0 -0
That is one of life's natural Truthitudes.
That is one of life's natural Truthitudes.
woodjay
+1 -0
This reminds me of the time that msword auto corrected me and capitalized Godzilla as a proper noun.
This reminds me of the time that msword auto corrected me and capitalized Godzilla as a proper noun.
kamet
+0 -0
Another Truthitude!! See, the world knows how it's supposed to be!!
Another Truthitude!! See, the world knows how it's supposed to be!!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
It is easy to keep them seperated: Isaac Hayes is awesome as hell, Barry White is adequate.
It is easy to keep them seperated: Isaac Hayes is awesome as hell, Barry White is adequate.
pogo
+0 -0
Barry is also dead.
Barry is also dead.
quaga
+0 -0
Barry also never became a scientologist.
Barry also never became a scientologist.
comrade_tom
+3 -0
I first read that as sociologist.
The image of Hayes giving a lecture of Weber is intrinsically hillarious.
I first read that as sociologist.
The image of Hayes giving a lecture of Weber is intrinsically hillarious.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Weber.. he knew how to get on up. He's a meaaaan, Marxist machine!
((yes yes, more a) james brown and b) fucking inaccurate than you with that barndoor and the air-rifle))
Weber.. he knew how to get on up. He's a meaaaan, Marxist machine!
((yes yes, more a) james brown and b) fucking inaccurate than you with that barndoor and the air-rifle))
thorfinn
+0 -0
Isaac Hayes was awesome as hell, then he bitched out on South Park because they did an episode making fun of Scientology. He was perfectly fine with their mockery of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, and any other religions, nationalities, or races that one could think of, but after they made the Scientology episode he couldn't stand their "intolerance and bigotry" anymore and had to quit. So, in conclusion
Fuck..........Isaac Hayes
Isaac Hayes was awesome as hell, then he bitched out on South Park because they did an episode making fun of Scientology. He was perfectly fine with their mockery of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, and any other religions, nationalities, or races that one could think of, but after they made the Scientology episode he couldn't stand their "intolerance and bigotry" anymore and had to quit. So, in conclusion
Fuck..........Isaac Hayes
falseprophet
+0 -0
The overabundance of ellipses suggests you intend for us to read it as you standing on the conference table and yelling FUCK and then whispering into the water cooler "...Isaac Hayes."
What's the matter thorf? Ain't you got no conviction?
The overabundance of ellipses suggests you intend for us to read it as you standing on the conference table and yelling FUCK and then whispering into the water cooler "...Isaac Hayes."
What's the matter thorf? Ain't you got no conviction?
falseprophet
+0 -0
How the fuck did I forget how to do BBCode for one tag and then remember it for a completely different one? That's amazing.
How the fuck did I forget how to do BBCode for one tag and then remember it for a completely different one? That's amazing.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I was going for a sort of Fuck..........Algebra kind of thing.
I was going for a sort of Fuck..........Algebra kind of thing.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
v-chubbed, I very much hope the world of work contains scenes such as this.
v-chubbed, I very much hope the world of work contains scenes such as this.
tekende
+0 -0
Does "whispering into the water cooler" involve dunking your head in it, so that "Isaac Hayes" comes out all bubbly and muffled?
Does "whispering into the water cooler" involve dunking your head in it, so that "Isaac Hayes" comes out all bubbly and muffled?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Oh yeah, Isaac Hayes is pretty much lame when it comes to the Scientology tip, but until you've heard his version of 'The Look of Love' I question how you've survived in this world. S ooo gorgeous.
Oh yeah, Isaac Hayes is pretty much lame when it comes to the Scientology tip, but until you've heard his version of 'The Look of Love' I question how you've survived in this world. S ooo gorgeous.
octafish
+0 -0
He's a baaaaaad motherf...
Watch your mouth
Hey I'm talkin' about Shaft
Then ee can dig it
Plus his cover of By the Time I get to Phoenix is awesome.
He's a baaaaaad motherf...
Watch your mouth
Hey I'm talkin' about Shaft
Then ee can dig it
Plus his cover of By the Time I get to Phoenix is awesome.
contrasoma
+5 -0
Uncle George no'a like'a being gotten up in. When he are younger, sure, ok, but not so much now.
Uncle George no'a like'a being gotten up in. When he are younger, sure, ok, but not so much now.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Luther Vandross
Luther Vandross
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Yeah, you fucked that interpretation all up, dude.
Yeah, you fucked that interpretation all up, dude.
sevendaughters
+1 -0
The alt-text sold this one as a definite five to me.
The alt-text sold this one as a definite five to me.
theargentinian
+0 -1
i think this may be mirroring Onstad's wedding...
i think this may be mirroring Onstad's wedding...
odei
+6 -0
Or Onstad might have some kind of imagination. In fact, I think he definitely has an imagination!
Or Onstad might have some kind of imagination. In fact, I think he definitely has an imagination!
contrasoma
+2 -0
And thank fuck for that. I've always been thankful that Onstad kept the "Current Baby Status" type stuff out of the comic. The world does not need another excellent thirty-something writer ditching everything they'd previously worked on to blog/publish about the foibles of child rearing as soon as they have their first child.
And thank fuck for that. I've always been thankful that Onstad kept the "Current Baby Status" type stuff out of the comic. The world does not need another excellent thirty-something writer ditching everything they'd previously worked on to blog/publish about the foibles of child rearing as soon as they have their first child.
spinynorman
+2 -0
You know what I just realized Molly is? She's a "manic pixie dream girl," a phrase that was coined in AV Club critic Nathan Rabin's review of "Elizabethtown" - "MPDGs are whimsical, improbably gorgeous creatures that materialize out of nowhere and are somehow moved to adopt feeble protagonists who are barely holding onto the bottom rung. Where most women would seek romantic fulfillment elsewhere, MPDGs work their rejuvenative charm on broken men, like Will Smith working the hitch out of Matt Damon's golf swing in 'The Legend of Bagger Vance.' And what do they expect in return? Precious little."
Yeah. Yep. That's what she is. Huh, what do you know.
You know what I just realized Molly is? She's a "manic pixie dream girl," a phrase that was coined in AV Club critic Nathan Rabin's review of "Elizabethtown" - "MPDGs are whimsical, improbably gorgeous creatures that materialize out of nowhere and are somehow moved to adopt feeble protagonists who are barely holding onto the bottom rung. Where most women would seek romantic fulfillment elsewhere, MPDGs work their rejuvenative charm on broken men, like Will Smith working the hitch out of Matt Damon's golf swing in 'The Legend of Bagger Vance.' And what do they expect in return? Precious little."
Yeah. Yep. That's what she is. Huh, what do you know.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Or that girl in...what was that piece of shit called?
...
...Garden State, thats it.
Or that girl in...what was that piece of shit called?
...
...Garden State, thats it.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
What's that piece of shit called? ... Oh yeah, Kevin Smith!
What's that piece of shit called? ... Oh yeah, Kevin Smith!
hexjumper
+0 -0
She's not manic.
She's not a pixie.
She's not a dream.
Molly is Roast Beef's girlfriend, but I don't believe that she's a knockout, she's not really ebullient enough to qualify as a knockout, and she doesn't really rehabilitate Roast Beef; Beef does that himself, once he realizes that his life can be better without his grandmother in it.
Just because a guy who's depressed gets a girl doesn't mean that she's automatically some kind of Hollywood cliche. Shit, I got enough to worry about without worrying that my girl may be the product of some fucking scriptwriter.
She's not manic.
She's not a pixie.
She's not a dream.
Molly is Roast Beef's girlfriend, but I don't believe that she's a knockout, she's not really ebullient enough to qualify as a knockout, and she doesn't really rehabilitate Roast Beef; Beef does that himself, once he realizes that his life can be better without his grandmother in it.
Just because a guy who's depressed gets a girl doesn't mean that she's automatically some kind of Hollywood cliche. Shit, I got enough to worry about without worrying that my girl may be the product of some fucking scriptwriter.
margargaret
+0 -0
Is it impossible to believe that some women gain some kind of emotional fullfillment from taking care of dudes who are kind of messed up?
Is it impossible to believe that some women gain some kind of emotional fullfillment from taking care of dudes who are kind of messed up?
irondave
+0 -0
Not to me, no.
Not to me, no.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is pretty much what I thought every time I had a girlfriend. All two times.
This is pretty much what I thought every time I had a girlfriend. All two times.
maximus
+0 -0
In other words, a ticking time bomb.
In other words, a ticking time bomb.
spesimen
+0 -0
Perhaps there is some reality base to it but i'm pretty sure Onstad would have totally gone for teodor's original menu thus making subsequent fallout moot. It didn't even have an amuse bouche but an amuse geule. Who the hell even would know the difference!
Perhaps there is some reality base to it but i'm pretty sure Onstad would have totally gone for teodor's original menu thus making subsequent fallout moot. It didn't even have an amuse bouche but an amuse geule. Who the hell even would know the difference!
molesticide
+0 -0
no, i don't think chris is one of those 'food hand-job' type people. remember, his greatest culinary success with that bacon club stuff was a simple sandwich. nobody wants to eat something that sounds like an entire french movie.
no, i don't think chris is one of those 'food hand-job' type people. remember, his greatest culinary success with that bacon club stuff was a simple sandwich. nobody wants to eat something that sounds like an entire french movie.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Fact. He even said the best way to eat the finest bacon is in your hand, over the pan. He once went to the French Laundry (easily finest dining in the country), and talked about what a rip it was. This is a man who mocks pretentious food, and I cherish his face for it.
Fact. He even said the best way to eat the finest bacon is in your hand, over the pan. He once went to the French Laundry (easily finest dining in the country), and talked about what a rip it was. This is a man who mocks pretentious food, and I cherish his face for it.
molesticide
+0 -0
chris onstad's face is not pretentious food, and i cherish that.
is SO delicious.
chris onstad's face is not pretentious food, and i cherish that.
is SO delicious.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Would you... make LOOOOOVE to his face?
Would you... make LOOOOOVE to his face?
molesticide
+0 -0
dude i'm pervert, but i'm not a cuisiphile.
dude i'm pervert, but i'm not a cuisiphile.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
my parents were going on a trip with some friends and they had made reservations to go there when one couple ditched out (making the reservation null and void by their policies). my dad said that they walked past it and that nobody looked like they were having a good time; they were just eating very slowly and seriously.
my parents were going on a trip with some friends and they had made reservations to go there when one couple ditched out (making the reservation null and void by their policies). my dad said that they walked past it and that nobody looked like they were having a good time; they were just eating very slowly and seriously.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
This is looking good for Teodor. Molly is sure to run to him for comfort. My feelings are pro.
This is looking good for Teodor. Molly is sure to run to him for comfort. My feelings are pro.
snidedk
+11 -0
He'll be all sensitive, all inviting her over to talk about her feelings over dinner... all serving up some Wagyu Tartar in Australian veal demi-glace, all with some parsnip "caviar" on the side, with creme brulee for desert... all taking her hand in his own as they guide a propane torch gently across the face of the dish, the caramelizing sugar bubbling like the unbridled passion lying just beneath the facade of their platonic friendship.
He'll be all sensitive, all inviting her over to talk about her feelings over dinner... all serving up some Wagyu Tartar in Australian veal demi-glace, all with some parsnip "caviar" on the side, with creme brulee for desert... all taking her hand in his own as they guide a propane torch gently across the face of the dish, the caramelizing sugar bubbling like the unbridled passion lying just beneath the facade of their platonic friendship.
achilleselbow
+6 -0
All Joanna Newsom softly playing in the background.
All Joanna Newsom softly playing in the background.
asobi
+0 -0
Speaking as a man who has given a girl a mixtape with "Sawdust & Diamonds"...yes, he would do this.
My feelings on playing Joanna Newsom for ladies are Con. It's along the same lines as Rivers Cuomo's opinion of Pinkerton: "It's like getting really drunk at a party and spilling your guts in front of everyone and feeling incredibly great and cathartic about it, and then waking up the next morning and realizing what a complete fool you made of yourself."
("when you cut my hair, and leave the birds the trimmings
I am the happiest woman among all women")
Heck of lame.
Speaking as a man who has given a girl a mixtape with "Sawdust & Diamonds"...yes, he would do this.
My feelings on playing Joanna Newsom for ladies are Con. It's along the same lines as Rivers Cuomo's opinion of Pinkerton: "It's like getting really drunk at a party and spilling your guts in front of everyone and feeling incredibly great and cathartic about it, and then waking up the next morning and realizing what a complete fool you made of yourself."
("when you cut my hair, and leave the birds the trimmings
I am the happiest woman among all women")
Heck of lame.
octafish
+0 -0
...Ralph Wiggum
...Ralph Wiggum
autrepoupee
+0 -0
oh man why you even got to bring up Joanna Newsom, for serious. The most unrealistic thing about The Strangers was the scene where they suggested real people are really listening to her casually, as they're putzing around their homes and places of business.
She's the woman from the Poltergeist, you know.
I don't care who says different.
oh man why you even got to bring up Joanna Newsom, for serious. The most unrealistic thing about The Strangers was the scene where they suggested real people are really listening to her casually, as they're putzing around their homes and places of business.
She's the woman from the Poltergeist, you know.
I don't care who says different.
gmm
+0 -0
I... I say different. : (
I... I say different. : (
lambchop
+0 -0
Me tooo.
I do, however, think it's sortof weird for a dude to give a lady a mixtape with her on it. It's like asking her out on a date where you frolick by a stream (ok) and then slowly caress her face in gauzy linens (not ok) (on the first date).
Me tooo.
I do, however, think it's sortof weird for a dude to give a lady a mixtape with her on it. It's like asking her out on a date where you frolick by a stream (ok) and then slowly caress her face in gauzy linens (not ok) (on the first date).
tekende
+3 -1
Giving a lady a Joanna Newsom song would be like giving her a huge stab wound in her ear.
Giving a lady a Joanna Newsom song would be like giving her a huge stab wound in her ear.
margargaret
+1 -0
Dogs, I have a confession to make. I like Joanna Newsom. I enjoy songs with interesting lyrics that are in my vocal range. Also, when I sing along to her songs, my voice sounds really good in comparison.
Not that she isn't a good singer. It's just that the wavery old lady voice that she puts on a for folksy effect is nicely complimented by the lovely singing voice of a young lady.
Dogs, I have a confession to make. I like Joanna Newsom. I enjoy songs with interesting lyrics that are in my vocal range. Also, when I sing along to her songs, my voice sounds really good in comparison.
Not that she isn't a good singer. It's just that the wavery old lady voice that she puts on a for folksy effect is nicely complimented by the lovely singing voice of a young lady.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I could have sworn that I commented on my partiality to Joanna Newsom a while back, and that it was met largely with agreement. She's a brilliant songwriter, and I've always loved her voice. And I gave Kate her album for her birthday.
So what I'm really saying is...
Fuck you, Tekende.
(We're still buds, right?)
I could have sworn that I commented on my partiality to Joanna Newsom a while back, and that it was met largely with agreement. She's a brilliant songwriter, and I've always loved her voice. And I gave Kate her album for her birthday.
So what I'm really saying is...
Fuck you, Tekende.
(We're still buds, right?)
spesimen
+0 -0
hrmm. I always thought her lyrics were great, but the twee delivery is like a white hot searing laser of pain to me. she's really one of the few singers that makes me uncomfortable and angry when i listen, like that same weird gut reaction you get when you hear scrapy chalkboards or a baby that will just not stop crying, only it's worse because in her case it is intentional, calculated even.
hrmm. I always thought her lyrics were great, but the twee delivery is like a white hot searing laser of pain to me. she's really one of the few singers that makes me uncomfortable and angry when i listen, like that same weird gut reaction you get when you hear scrapy chalkboards or a baby that will just not stop crying, only it's worse because in her case it is intentional, calculated even.
tekende
+0 -0
Listen, I wouldn't know any damn thing about her lyrics, because when I hear her sing the aural pain I experience drowns out any words that might be in the song. I don't understand how ANYONE could enjoy listening to that. She is the worst professional singer I have ever heard. EVER.
Listen, I wouldn't know any damn thing about her lyrics, because when I hear her sing the aural pain I experience drowns out any words that might be in the song. I don't understand how ANYONE could enjoy listening to that. She is the worst professional singer I have ever heard. EVER.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Hear the voice, not the vocals.
I don't know what that means. But Newsom is an incredible lyricist and songwriter in general. I, too, love her voice; it might take a while, but it's worth the shot at seeing whether it will grow on you. It's not about technical ability or trying to sound pretty like Alison Krauss.
It is a good, honest voice that people can believe in
Hear the voice, not the vocals.
I don't know what that means. But Newsom is an incredible lyricist and songwriter in general. I, too, love her voice; it might take a while, but it's worth the shot at seeing whether it will grow on you. It's not about technical ability or trying to sound pretty like Alison Krauss.
It is a good, honest voice that people can believe in
octafish
+0 -0
Its a shame she isn't as good as Malvina Reynolds, either lyrically or vocally. Weeds fans would agree i'm sure.
Its a shame she isn't as good as Malvina Reynolds, either lyrically or vocally. Weeds fans would agree i'm sure.
skiddysmith
+0 -0
malvina rules! and i liked her way before the bad covers of little boxes in the intro!
but joanna newsom is also amazing and if you can't stand her voice listen to the cover of her by final fantasy and it will make you realize how brilliant her lyrics/songwriting is.
malvina rules! and i liked her way before the bad covers of little boxes in the intro!
but joanna newsom is also amazing and if you can't stand her voice listen to the cover of her by final fantasy and it will make you realize how brilliant her lyrics/songwriting is.
bixschmix
+0 -0
You know, people keep telling me this. But every time I listen to her, my brain shrivels away from my ears and I just cannot stand it.
You know, people keep telling me this. But every time I listen to her, my brain shrivels away from my ears and I just cannot stand it.
gmm
+0 -0
See, I like/love vocalists who can't/don't sing and this prolly has something to do with my enjoyment of Miss Newsom
See, I like/love vocalists who can't/don't sing and this prolly has something to do with my enjoyment of Miss Newsom
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Vocalists who don't sing are the best.
Vocalists who don't sing are the best.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Listen, I love me some weird-voiced vocalists. Hell, I'm going to see Tom Waits tomorrow! I just can't deal with *her.*
Listen, I love me some weird-voiced vocalists. Hell, I'm going to see Tom Waits tomorrow! I just can't deal with *her.*
gmm
+0 -0
See, I can't deal with Waits [even though he's a fantastic songwriter]. We're even.
See, I can't deal with Waits [even though he's a fantastic songwriter]. We're even.
falseprophet
+7 -0
Then Teodor and Beef will have a fist-fight, Ramses will break it up and then explain to Roast Beef what it means to be a man, give him some peyote and then send him on a spirit journey. Roast Beef will rediscover his vestigial dong, then come back and slap Teodor in the face with it, and we readers get some more Mexican magical realism up in this piece.
It's a win motherfuckin win.
Then Teodor and Beef will have a fist-fight, Ramses will break it up and then explain to Roast Beef what it means to be a man, give him some peyote and then send him on a spirit journey. Roast Beef will rediscover his vestigial dong, then come back and slap Teodor in the face with it, and we readers get some more Mexican magical realism up in this piece.
It's a win motherfuckin win.
ceokasen
+2 -0
Not to mention rock-hard cat cock.
... What?!
Not to mention rock-hard cat cock.
... What?!
molesticide
+0 -0
also win.
also win.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Win-Win-Cock.
Win-Win-Cock.
molesticide
+0 -0
THAT WAS MY NICKNAME IN HIGH SCHOOL
THAT WAS MY NICKNAME IN HIGH SCHOOL
molesticide
+1 -0
i'm just kidding, folks. i never got laid in high school. not even once.
i'm just kidding, folks. i never got laid in high school. not even once.
hedonismbot
+4 -0
Heh, I see your gender is marked bottom, and your status is 'recovering asshole'. That just cracks me up for some reason
Heh, I see your gender is marked bottom, and your status is 'recovering asshole'. That just cracks me up for some reason
achilleselbow
+6 -0
Apparently, it cracks him up too.
Wow, that was quite a ... stretch .
I'll be here all week, folks.
Apparently, it cracks him up too.
Wow, that was quite a ... stretch .
I'll be here all week, folks.
molesticide
+0 -0
yeah i meant it like how i'm recovering from being a jerk, but i totally like your version better.
also, i am in no way attempting to recover from being a jerk.
yeah i meant it like how i'm recovering from being a jerk, but i totally like your version better.
also, i am in no way attempting to recover from being a jerk.
molesticide
+3 -1
FURTHERMORE, i guess 'bottom' means like i take it, like from dudes, right? that isn't what i thought it meant. i thought the difference between top and bottom was like the difference between dominant and submissive. so i fucked that one up.
but screw you if you think i'm changing it.
FURTHERMORE, i guess 'bottom' means like i take it, like from dudes, right? that isn't what i thought it meant. i thought the difference between top and bottom was like the difference between dominant and submissive. so i fucked that one up.
but screw you if you think i'm changing it.
pogo
+0 -0
Where do you live, in a tree?
Where do you live, in a tree?
molesticide
+0 -0
buddy i am from a town called earlham. it is so small it isn't even on its OWN map.
buddy i am from a town called earlham. it is so small it isn't even on its OWN map.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
Rumour is Earl Ham was portly and stank of nectar.
Rumour is Earl Ham was portly and stank of nectar.
cynara
+0 -0
Not Earlham with the Quaker school?
Not Earlham with the Quaker school?
hbaranov
+0 -0
The quakers were masters of siege warfare.
The quakers were masters of siege warfare.
daidai
+0 -0
"Captain, any news from the North Line? Did they break through?"
"If they did, would my family still be starving?! Damn this seige to hell! Wait...what are they doing?"
"It looks like some kind of secret attack, sir! They're... they're shaking! "
(A long pause)
"No, son. They're quaking. "
"Captain, any news from the North Line? Did they break through?"
"If they did, would my family still be starving?! Damn this seige to hell! Wait...what are they doing?"
"It looks like some kind of secret attack, sir! They're... they're shaking! "
(A long pause)
"No, son. They're quaking. "
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'll bite. What was the name of this fabled military genius?
I'll bite. What was the name of this fabled military genius?
anitrophaeron
+0 -0
Hmmm....if you don't change it I think it stands as an open invitation to screw you .
Hmmm....if you don't change it I think it stands as an open invitation to screw you .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Such ignorance of sexual innuendo may be the reason you never got laid in high school. Trust me, I have already been designated the official Assetbar expert on Not Getting Laid.
Such ignorance of sexual innuendo may be the reason you never got laid in high school. Trust me, I have already been designated the official Assetbar expert on Not Getting Laid.
stereo
+0 -0
If bottom didn't mean I got female pronouns on assetbar, I would totally rock it.
If bottom didn't mean I got female pronouns on assetbar, I would totally rock it.
molesticide
+0 -0
i get female pronouns? shit. i guess that won't do, what with my raging misogyny.
i get female pronouns? shit. i guess that won't do, what with my raging misogyny.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
No no, screw YOU! Technically at least, what with the bottoming.
No no, screw YOU! Technically at least, what with the bottoming.
molesticide
+0 -0
too late, hedonismbot! that joke has been made already, albeit in a slightly more ciruitous way. for shame, hedonismbot. for shame.
do... do you apologize?
too late, hedonismbot! that joke has been made already, albeit in a slightly more ciruitous way. for shame, hedonismbot. for shame.
do... do you apologize?
tekende
+0 -0
hedonismbot does not apologize. hedonismbot simply stares at his faux pas until it apologizes for [/i]itself.[/i]
hedonismbot does not apologize. hedonismbot simply stares at his faux pas until it apologizes for [/i]itself.[/i]
tekende
+0 -0
FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Let me try this out, kids.
Caternaries and dirigibles.
Let me try this out, kids.
molesticide
+0 -0
this is why i only ever just capitalize things that i want to emphasize. it prevents me from fucking up. i am too afraid to try using codes and such, i can barely manage to hit the right keys when i'm mashing on the board uselessly with one cripple paw.
this is why i only ever just capitalize things that i want to emphasize. it prevents me from fucking up. i am too afraid to try using codes and such, i can barely manage to hit the right keys when i'm mashing on the board uselessly with one cripple paw.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Yes, Reginald, and I "only ever" summered on Cypress.
You are a fancy man on whose mind are always fancy words to be said! Admit it!
Yes, Reginald, and I "only ever" summered on Cypress.
You are a fancy man on whose mind are always fancy words to be said! Admit it!
daidai
+0 -0
Pat isn't invited.
Pat isn't invited.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Because real men don't fight with their hands.
Real men use their dicks .
Because real men don't fight with their hands.
Real men use their dicks .
cromar
+0 -0
5 for concept. -1 for the foods no bein' pretentious enough.
5 for concept. -1 for the foods no bein' pretentious enough.
cromar
+0 -0
Not one to comment on my own typos, but... not bein'? Shiiiit.
Not one to comment on my own typos, but... no
hedonismbot
+1 -0
We thought you were speaking in the voice of his uncle.
We thought you were speaking in the voice of his uncle.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Connie's all banging out a romantic novel manuscript based on the scene in real time. Philippe writes something cute about it the next morning for Friday Facts and gives it to Beef to proof-read. He immediately dies.
Connie's all banging out a romantic novel manuscript based on the scene in real time. Philippe writes something cute about it the next morning for Friday Facts and gives it to Beef to proof-read. He immediately dies.
falseprophet
+2 -0
Yayyys!
Yayyys!
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Damn. That would be cold .
Damn. That would be cold .
never_die
+4 -0
MY GOD, Teodor played this ice-cold from the beginning. all injecting himself into the planning. all getting hellof close with Molly. All Totally Putting Together A Fancy-Assed Menu That Would Set Off Beef's Dormant Pride-Based Anger.
MY GOD, Teodor played this ice-cold from the beginning. all injecting himself into the planning. all getting hellof close with Molly. All Totally Putting Together A Fancy-Assed Menu That Would Set Off Beef's Dormant Pride-Based Anger.
iceofboston
+1 -0
teodor is a wise man. a wise, calculating man.
...bear. man bear...
...bearman?
...ah, fuck it.
teodor is a wise man. a wise, calculating man.
...bear. man bear...
...bearman?
...ah, fuck it.
bigtom
+0 -0
A comment left by bigtom was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CatJumpJohn, NotWritten, vykromond)
A comment left by bigtom was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by CatJumpJohn, NotWritten, vykromond)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
If this is truly what happened I would call it more an example of cunning than of wisdom.
If this is truly what happened I would call it more an example of cunning than of wisdom.
iceofboston
+0 -0
if his plan includes a turnip, i'll give you that one.
if his plan includes a turnip, i'll give you that one.
severide
+0 -0
The TPTAFAMTWSOBDPBA plan. Never fails.
The TPTAFAMTWSOBDPBA plan. Never fails.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Teodor sucks now.
Teodor sucks now.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Man what, everybody should lay off Teodor, he hasn't done anything yet. He's only sinned in his heart so far!
And who among us hasn't thought at least once to steal away a compatriot's long-term partner? Let he who has never leered at someone soon-to-be betrothed be he who casts the first stone.
Man what, everybody should lay off Teodor, he hasn't done anything yet. He's only sinned in his heart so far!
And who among us hasn't thought at least once to steal away a compatriot's long-term partner? Let he who has never leered at someone soon-to-be betrothed be he who casts the first stone.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
vc
vc
iceofboston
+0 -0
methinks teodor never truly recovered from the loss of penny.
two ships, man. two motherfuckin' ships.
methinks teodor never truly recovered from the loss of penny.
two ships, man. two motherfuckin' ships.
hamscout
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
But will Beef wait until it's too late??
[IMGS OFF]
But will Beef wait until it's too late??
hamscout
+0 -0
fuckity fuck fuck.
no one will ever see this. :(
why must I always get ideas at [/i]work??[/i]
fuckity fuck fuck.
no one will ever see this. :(
why must I always get ideas at [/i]work??[/i]
quaga
+0 -0
I saw it.
I saw it.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
me too!
I don't get the reference though.
me too!
I don't get the reference though.
hamscout
+0 -0
It's a scene from "Love Actually", where the dude reveals his secret love for a woman who has married his good friend. He was asked to film the wedding, and he succeeded in fucking it up, pissing off the couple...
It's a scene from "Love Actually", where the dude reveals his secret love for a woman who has married his good friend. He was asked to film the wedding, and he succeeded in fucking it up, pissing off the couple...
cromar
+0 -0
Nice!
Nice!
puguglypress
+0 -0
AND MY AXE!
AND MY AXE!
woodjay
+0 -0
saw it
saw it
toiletstore
+3 -0
it's nice to see tony clifton's still getting work these days
it's nice to see tony clifton's still getting work these days
sevendaughters
+0 -0
It's weird, I was reading the strip with AKKOLADE in ten minutes before the newie appeared.
It's weird, I was reading the strip with AKKOLADE in ten minutes before the newie appeared.
charhe
+3 -0
Teodor was the maid of honor?
I mean, can you gripe about not getting any lady action, and then at the same time consent to being a maid of honor?
WORK IT OUT EINSTEIN.
Teodor was the maid of honor?
I mean, can you gripe about not getting any lady action, and then at the same time consent to being a maid of honor?
WORK IT OUT EINSTEIN.
techiebabe
+0 -0
Aunt Nina is a very manly-looking lady...
Aunt Nina is a very manly-looking lady...
never_die
+0 -0
but, regardless, AKKOLADE wah-nah touch her all over.
but, regardless, AKKOLADE wah-nah touch her all over.
kickstart
+1 -0
she looks like a Lutheran pastor
she looks like a Lutheran pastor
lamewad
+0 -0
Man that cat is all OM NOM NOM NOM on that corn.
I'm easily distracted by cute things. I'm sorry.
Man that cat is all OM NOM NOM NOM on that corn.
I'm easily distracted by cute things. I'm sorry.
quaga
+0 -0
That cat is the epitome of both NOM and corm.
That cat is the epitome of both NOM and corm.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Mmmmm. I like corm
Mmmmm. I like corm
centipede_damascus
+0 -0
AKKOLADE sounds just like Barry White in my mind.
And that is fantastic .
AKKOLADE sounds just like Barry White in my mind.
And that is fantastic .
jerkface
+2 -0
likewise, except more like Larry Black.
[...is it...Thursday?]
Oh and that is pretty much my aunt and uncle. mosts probably.
likewise, except more like Larry Black.
[...is it...Thursday?]
Oh and that is pretty much my aunt and uncle. mosts probably.
kickstart
+0 -0
YES!!! Thank you for this.
This one's for the ladies. So fellas....take it outside
YES!!! Thank you for this.
This one's for the ladies. So fellas....take it outside
contrasoma
+0 -0
I think of Otis Redding singing "Try A Little Tenderness".
I think of Otis Redding singing "Try A Little Tenderness".
rene
+0 -0
Haha, I was in the middle of listening to that song when I read that. YOu made me laugh. Good on you!
Haha, I was in the middle of listening to that song when I read that. YOu made me laugh. Good on you!
xud
+4 -0
"make love to ya face" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's classic.
"make love to ya face" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's classic.
cromar
+0 -0
Are ya listenin' Onstad? More Achewood music would go over so well.
Are ya listenin' Onstad? More Achewood music would go over so well.
sneeeeeeeeeeeze
+1 -0
chunda
chunda
quaga
+2 -0
Ah, the pre-wedding fight. Is there anything more magical? (Yes, many things)
Ah, the pre-wedding fight. Is there anything more magical? (Yes, many things)
daidai
+0 -0
Pimp skitters.
Pimp skitters.
chunda
+0 -0
sneeeeeeeeeeeze
sneeeeeeeeeeeze
catgrl131
+1 -0
Bleeeeeeeeeeeess Yoooooooooou
Bleeeeeeeeeeeess Yoooooooooou
lizjones
+0 -0
Where's AKKOLADE's Monty Python mouth?
Where's AKKOLADE's Monty Python mouth?
quaga
+0 -0
That was last year's thing, or maybe a year or 2 before.
That was last year's thing, or maybe a year or 2 before.
perilon
+0 -0
His new thing is actually attempting to sing with feeling and fervor.
His new thing is actually attempting to sing with feeling and fervor.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
He is so moved by the thought of making love at this place that his hands shake.
He is so moved by the thought of making love at this place that his hands shake.
jbushnell
+0 -0
You beat me to this question, and others have beat me to the answer. Fuck.
You beat me to this question, and others have beat me to the answer. Fuck.
pogo
+0 -1
I just want to beat you, period.
I just want to beat you, period.
catgrl131
+10 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
loneal
+0 -0
This illustration reaches a core of truth heretofore unplumbed by humankind. Which is why I just got my hands on some of that birth control where you only have your period four times a year, and I am so psyched.
This illustration reaches a core of truth heretofore unplumbed by humankind. Which is why I just got my hands on some of that birth control where you only have your period four times a year, and I am so psyched.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I hate when my mother makes me empty the bins, I have to deal with her sanitary waste.
I hate when my mother makes me empty the bins, I have to deal with her sanitary waste.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
An 108 year old man emptying a bin of his mother's "sanitary waste"... saddest thing ever?
An 108 year old man emptying a bin of his mother's "sanitary waste"... saddest thing ever?
loneal
+0 -0
Tell her to get one of these . It is high time you had a frank conversation with your mom about menstruation.
Tell her to get one of these . It is high time you had a frank conversation with your mom about menstruation.
dejavroom
+0 -0
won't that make you destroy Tokyo or something?
won't that make you destroy Tokyo or something?
dejavroom
+0 -0
loneal, won't that make you destroy Tokyo or something?
(doublepost because I think assetbar is trying to fuck with me)
loneal, won't that make you destroy Tokyo or something?
(doublepost because I think assetbar is trying to fuck with me)
loneal
+0 -0
I hope so!
I hope so!
falseprophet
+0 -0
So the people of Tokyo have to die so that you can have a dry nenene?
loneal, what do you have against Japanese people?
... I mean other than their misogynist society.
So the people of Tokyo have to die so that you can have a dry nenene?
loneal, what do you have against Japanese people?
... I mean other than their misogynist society.
tekende
+0 -0
*Sighs and prepares a for six-page thread on Japanese misogyny and modern-day feminism*
*Sighs and prepares a for six-page thread on Japanese misogyny and modern-day feminism*
loneal
+0 -0
I don't have anything against Japan! I have just always aspired to be a godzilla. I'll destroy Washington, DC or something if that would be cool with everyone.
I don't have anything against Japan! I have just always aspired to be a godzilla. I'll destroy Washington, DC or something if that would be cool with everyone.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Me and my big, clit-lovin mouth
falseprophet goes to New York
Me and my big, clit-lovin mouth
falseprophet goes to New York
tekende
+0 -0
Washington, DC? Better do it quick while they still don't have any guns.
Washington, DC? Better do it quick while they still don't have any guns.
reddwarf
+1 -0
Catgrl are you going to eat that?
(RedDwarf is not a vittles bitch)
Catgrl are you going to eat that?
(RedDwarf is not a vittles bitch)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
This seems up your alley!
This seems up your alley!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It needs sound. When they're staring at each other with their mouths open I was hearing that part in Rejected where the guy's eye pops out and starts spilling blood onto the other guy's face and they're both going "WAAAAH!"
It needs sound. When they're staring at each other with their mouths open I was hearing that part in Rejected where the guy's eye pops out and starts spilling blood onto the other guy's face and they're both going "WAAAAH!"
stereo
+0 -0
SPLUT
SPLUT
never_die
+2 -0
molly is so angry in panel 11, she has beef's mad-computer-type arms
molly is so angry in panel 11, she has beef's mad-computer-type arms
elyseface
+1 -0
I hear AKKOLADE as a sleazier Michael McDonald.
Also I'm loving Molly's biceps of righteous feminine fury in panels 2 and 11.
I hear AKKOLADE as a sleazier Michael McDonald.
Also I'm loving Molly's biceps of righteous feminine fury in panels 2 and 11.
biomusicologist
+0 -0
YES YES. That is the voice I was hearing. I kept trying to put my finger on it, but couldn't! Thank you.
YES YES. That is the voice I was hearing. I kept trying to put my finger on it, but couldn't! Thank you.
kickstart
+2 -0
Yah Mo make love to yo' face
Yah Mo make love to yo' face
falseprophet
+1 -0
Nothin against him, but if I hear Yah Mo B There one more time, I'm gonna Yah Mo Burn This Place To The Ground
Nothin against him, but if I hear Yah Mo B There one more time, I'm gonna Yah Mo Burn This Place To The Ground
kamet
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
usversusthem
+0 -0
Yah mokay to drive?
Yah mokay to drive?
hoboninja
+0 -0
My dad smoked pot with Michael McDonald. Just sayin'.
My dad smoked pot with Michael McDonald. Just sayin'.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
So much biceps these days...
So much biceps these days...
redface
+2 -0
I dunno what's Beef's problem, man.
Maybe someone should tell him just because you grew up in (or came from) circumstances doesn't the circumstances are in you.
I dunno what's Beef's problem, man.
Maybe someone should tell him just because you grew up in (or came from) circumstances doesn't the circumstances are in you.
loneal
+28 -1
I can't wait till Ray's hacky friend gets around to serenading Vlad. Vlad will have stories for years to come.
The leader, he make love to my face. He make love to my hand. Do I cry? I do not. Is friend's weddink. Is cat pack. You weak? You not get thank-you card for Cuisinart.
I can't wait till Ray's hacky friend gets around to serenading Vlad. Vlad will have stories for years to come.
The leader, he make love to my face. He make love to my hand. Do I cry? I do not. Is friend's weddink. Is cat pack. You weak? You not get thank-you card for Cuisinart.
never_die
+0 -0
see, i think if AKKOLADE started getting romantical with Vlad, the robotnik would just give it back twice as hard. and twice as sexy?
see, i think if AKKOLADE started getting romantical with Vlad, the robotnik would just give it back twice as hard. and twice as sexy?
quaga
+1 -1
Until he is so nude.
Until he is so nude.
woodjay
+1 -0
pouf
pouf
aperson
+0 -0
Awp!
Awp!
rocktapus
+0 -0
aw, man I kept reading it as if Uncle George was saying yay! when in actuality, I think he's saying "yes"
aw, man I kept reading it as if Uncle George was saying yay! when in actuality, I think he's saying "yes"
moissanite
+0 -0
Uncle George knows always how to have a good time.
Uncle George knows always how to have a good time.
moissanite
+0 -0
ALWAYS KNOWS*
ALWAYS KNOWS*
severide
+0 -0
Should've left it as it was. We all prefer Vlad-esque sentence structure here anyway. You're risking lames by double-postin'.
Should've left it as it was. We all prefer Vlad-esque sentence structure here anyway. You're risking lames by double-postin'.
moissanite
+0 -0
Funny story: I was so lazy in rereading what I had posted that I thought I had entirely excluded the word "knows," which brought about the asterisk revision. HOW DOES ONE WHO WRITES FOR A LIVING MAKE SUCH A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!
Funny story: I was so lazy in rereading what I had posted that I thought I had entirely excluded the word "knows," which brought about the asterisk revision. HOW DOES ONE WHO WRITES FOR A LIVING MAKE SUCH A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!
molesticide
+4 -0
fired! problem solved!
fired! problem solved!
moissanite
+1 -0
PS.
Next strip: Ray, Phillipe, and Lyle put their hands in the air with much exasperation.
PS.
Next strip: Ray, Phillipe, and Lyle put their hands in the air with much exasperation.
ortsac
+0 -0
Dude that first comment, that was like my exact thought. ah shit
Dude that first comment, that was like my exact thought. ah shit
hatcatrat
+0 -0
A comment left by hatcatrat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, Comrade_Tom, AJTheSecond)
A comment left by hatcatrat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, Comrade_Tom, AJTheSecond)
chachibenji
+0 -0
Beefs frown in panel 11 is just drawing on all the gravity in the room I mean look at it.
Beefs frown in panel 11 is just drawing on all the gravity in the room I mean look at it.
cromar
+0 -0
They'll get backa 'gether! They have to! Yayyyys?
They'll get backa 'gether! They have to! Yayyyys?
charhe
+1 -0
Make love to your face?
Would that require one to smile like a donut?
Make love to your face?
Would that require one to smile like a donut?
severide
+0 -0
I can picture the wedding. Preacher wearing a medallion like Ray, and the thong and stuff, "Do you, Roastafarian Beef Kazenzakis, take Jolly Molly Colonel Sanders to be your lawfully wedded plaything?"
I can picture the wedding. Preacher wearing a medallion like Ray, and the thong and stuff, "Do you, Roastafarian Beef Kazenzakis, take Jolly Molly Colonel Sanders to be your lawfully wedded plaything?"
lawbot
+0 -0
This kind of mirrors my relationship.
This kind of mirrors my relationship.
loneal
+6 -0
Your relationship with everyone on Assetbar?
Your relationship with everyone on Assetbar?
echidnaboy
+1 -0
YAYYYS
YAYYYS
daidai
+0 -0
YES
YES
hedonismbot
+0 -0
AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
lawbot
+1 -0
That would be hot .
That would be hot .
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
NO
NO
catgrl131
+2 -0
KINDA
I MEAN I'D TAP THAT
KINDA
I MEAN I'D TAP THAT
hedonismbot
+0 -0
GIRLS CAN'T TAP
GIRLS CAN'T TAP
bixschmix
+0 -0
YOU NEED TO EXPAND YOUR REPERTOIRE OF HEDONISM
YOU NEED TO EXPAND YOUR REPERTOIRE OF HEDONISM
hedonismbot
+0 -0
BUT, BUT, GIRLS ARE INNIES AND BOYS ARE OUTIES
BUT, BUT, GIRLS ARE INNIES AND BOYS ARE OUTIES
thorfinn
+0 -0
It seems odd that the term "tap" would be used to define penetration of a woman. It would seem that, as fluids are being drawn from the man by the woman, the man is the one who is being tapped. This is why terms like "tapping that ass" have never made any sense to me, you are not seeking to draw anything from the ass, unless you are a crazy German, then the term "tapping that ass" could take on a whole new and rather disturbing meaning.
It seems odd that the term "tap" would be used to define penetration of a woman. It would seem that, as fluids are being drawn from the man by the woman, the man is the one who is being tapped. This is why terms like "tapping that ass" have never made any sense to me, you are not seeking to draw anything from the ass, unless you are a crazy German, then the term "tapping that ass" could take on a whole new and rather disturbing meaning.
kickstart
+1 -0
I heard sometimes there's cotton candy
I heard sometimes there's cotton candy
margargaret
+0 -0
I always thought it was like inserting a tap into a keg. You "tap" the keg.
I always thought it was like inserting a tap into a keg. You "tap" the keg.
cromar
+3 -0
I always thought it came from Magic The Gathering.
I always thought it came from Magic The Gathering.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
So it involves turning her sideways?
So it involves turning her sideways?
schroduck
+0 -0
Magic The Gathering players and people who have need to use the phrase "I tapped that" in a sexual sense are mutually exclusive sets.
Magic The Gathering players and people who have need to use the phrase "I tapped that" in a sexual sense are mutually exclusive sets.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Proof otherwise
Proof otherwise
pogo
+0 -0
She's a tappin', awwwww yeah.
She's a tappin', awwwww yeah.
zwab
+0 -0
The best possible return.
The best possible return.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Knowing you, I could have sworn you were gonna post this .
Knowing you, I could have sworn you were gonna post this .
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Nah, thats more autrepoupee's bag.
Nah, thats more autrepoupee's bag.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
now wait just a minu-oh wait, that is my bag.
not a bag full of things I find hot mind you, just a sort of catch-all bag of things I'm aware of.
now wait just a minu-oh wait, that is my bag.
not a bag full of things I find hot mind you, just a sort of catch-all bag of things I'm aware of.
soupkaty
+3 -0
beef has a bad case of the low-budgets :(
beef has a bad case of the low-budgets :(
falseprophet
+7 -0
He's saddin so hard an invoice came outta his face.
He's saddin so hard an invoice came outta his face.
echidnaboy
+2 -0
His finances really did a number on him man I mean there's no getting around that THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND THAT
His finances really did a number on him man I mean there's no getting around that THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND THAT
perilon
+2 -0
Ray does pay big money to have a professional sculpt and spray-paint his arborvitae to resemble supersized lasagnas, Halls cough drops, fried whitefish, and other enticing comestibles.
Ray does pay big money to have a professional sculpt and spray-paint his arborvitae to resemble supersized lasagnas, Halls cough drops, fried whitefish, and other enticing comestibles.
molesticide
+0 -0
halls cough drops are not a wise addition to the wedding menu.
did... did i spell something wrong? i feel like i did, but cannot see it. is this a pre-deja-vu?
halls cough drops are not a wise addition to the wedding menu.
did... did i spell something wrong? i feel like i did, but cannot see it. is this a pre-deja-vu?
ford
+0 -0
No
No
agentstinky
+0 -0
Looks like Beef and Molly need some therapy. Could this mean the return of the secret best character ever, Papa Pung V. Alan "Chaka" Pung?
Looks like Beef and Molly need some therapy. Could this mean the return of the secret best character ever, Papa Pung V. Alan "Chaka" Pung?
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
Oh wow, I totally forgot about him! I kind of feel like he's best just in that one place, with no introduction or follow-up, as if everyone just takes a beat-making therapist for granted.
Oh wow, I totally forgot about him! I kind of feel like he's best just in that one place, with no introduction or follow-up, as if everyone just takes a beat-making therapist for granted.
molesticide
+2 -0
i fucking hated that character.
this is my honest opinion, please respect it for DIVERSITY
i fucking hated that character.
this is my honest opinion, please respect it for DIVERSITY
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Their relationship is more complex than a tiny, sad piece of bored hair.
Their relationship is more complex than a tiny, sad piece of bored hair.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Better make it Arthurrrr .
Better make it Arthurrrr .
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Or even better, Aaaarthur .
I don't even know what I'm doing here.
Or even better, Aaaarthur .
I don't even know what I'm doing here.
octafish
+0 -0
Or even Bea Aaaarthur.
Or even Bea Aaaarthur.
thorfinn
+2 -0
I want a football helmet full of cottage cheese, a giant baby bottle, and some naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
I want a football helmet full of cottage cheese, a giant baby bottle, and some naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
kamet
+0 -0
And the movie Moby Dick.
And the movie Moby Dick.
kickstart
+0 -0
While we're making UNREASONABLE DEMANDS , I want a pet I can love, but I don't want to have to take care of it!
While we're making UNREASONABLE DEMANDS , I want a pet I can love, but I don't want to have to take care of it!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Buy a vibrator
Buy a vibrator
quazifuji
+51 -0
How about simpler methods than therapy?
[IMGS OFF]
Hopefully, I don't botch up my bbcode on my first post ever.
How about simpler methods than therapy?
[IMGS OFF]
Hopefully, I don't botch up my bbcode on my first post ever.
jetbunny
+0 -0
Oh god this is a horrible time to run out of chubbies, oh lord why.
Oh god this is a horrible time to run out of chubbies, oh lord why.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
exactly.
exactly.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Gotcha covered
Gotcha covered
catgrl131
+0 -0
Welcome to Assetbar!
Welcome to Assetbar!
deus
+0 -0
"You gave this comment a chubby."
Yes, yes i did.
"You gave this comment a chubby."
Yes, yes i did.
edwell
+1 -0
You have a bright future with us.
You have a bright future with us.
hbaranov
+0 -0
As promised
As promised
pravda
+0 -0
come and play with us, come and play with us forever.
come and play with us, come and play with us forever.
gmm
+0 -0
Oh, out of chubbies
Yet you deserve so many
A haiku instead.
Oh, out of chubbies
Yet you deserve so many
A haiku instead.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
This new kid... He's got talent.
This new kid... He's got talent.
fuyukodachi
+0 -0
Oh god. Aunt Nina is my ex. I did not want to touch her all over.
Oh god. Aunt Nina is my ex. I did not want to touch her all over.
daidai
+0 -0
You dated a cat?
You dated a cat?
quaga
+2 -0
He says this!
He says this!
straw
+0 -0
Ok, so I read that initially as saying, "We got a filine [as in, you know, feline] looking crowd." Ah, bourbon. You make dyslexics of us all.
Ok, so I read that initially as saying, "We got a filine [as in, you know, feline] looking crowd." Ah, bourbon. You make dyslexics of us all.
daidai
+0 -0
Wait wait I thought that is was good when a fiancee screams that you're an asshole? Like finding a lucky penny or something?
Wait wait I thought that is was good when a fiancee screams that you're an asshole? Like finding a lucky penny or something?
1000hz
+25 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
contrasoma
+0 -0
Gah! Out of chubbies! Will a "my feelings on this asset are 'pro'" do instead?
Gah! Out of chubbies! Will a "my feelings on this asset are 'pro'" do instead?
mystkmanat
+0 -0
oh my god this makes me want to cry. what is this magic you possess, onstad, that makes me want to cry because 2 anthropomorphic cats had a fight???
oh my god this makes me want to cry. what is this magic you possess, onstad, that makes me want to cry because 2 anthropomorphic cats had a fight???
daidai
+10 -0
Girl I'm gonna fill your butt with cotton candy.
Girl I'm gonna fill your butt with cotton candy.
daidai
+0 -0
..woops.
..woops.
loneal
+4 -0
It is okay. We have all typed comments in Assetbar while thinking we were on the Googler.
It is okay. We have all typed comments in Assetbar while thinking we were on the Googler.
molesticide
+0 -0
also, once the reverse.
also, once the reverse.
saulbellow
+0 -0
"mistakenly typed" OR "accidentally typed" AND assetbar AND google OR googler
"mistakenly typed" OR "accidentally typed" AND assetbar AND google OR googler
reddwarf
+0 -0
bbw naughty "cake sitting stud" webcam
bbw naughty "cake sitting stud" webcam
stereo
+2 -0
Your search - bbw naughty "cake sitting stud" webcam - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.
Try fewer keywords.
Your search - bbw naughty "cake sitting stud" webcam - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.
Try fewer keywords.
kickstart
+0 -0
Notice it does not suggest "Try to be less of a freak."
The googler does not judge.
Notice it does not suggest "Try to be less of a freak."
The googler does not judge.
saulbellow
+2 -0
Your search - "star wars" OR "x-files" fanfiction "how to get published" - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Power off computer.
Stand up.
Walk to nearest exit.
Walk in any direction and do not stop until you find a large body of water.
Drown self.
Your search - "star wars" OR "x-files" fanfiction "how to get published" - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Power off computer.
Stand up.
Walk to nearest exit.
Walk in any direction and do not stop until you find a large body of water.
Drown self.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
...COME ON SHOW ME HER BUTT FULL OF COTTON CANDY!
...COME ON SHOW ME HER BUTT FULL OF COTTON CANDY!
beansdooma
+0 -0
my feelings on this strip:
<:c
my feelings on this strip:
<:c
molesticide
+0 -0
indecipherable.
indecipherable.
pantscomeoff
+0 -0
at least he didn't get sugar loadzz
at least he didn't get sugar loadzz
comrade_tom
+0 -0
or the sexual homeboys.
or the sexual homeboys.
paco
+0 -0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
this was going to be perfect.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
this was going to be perfect.
pogo
+0 -0
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES it is perfect ----- perfectly awful.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES it is perfect ----- perfectly awful.
asobi
+0 -0
What guy volunteers to cater, photograph, deejay, AND be maid of honor for a wedding? Oh, right, the guy that wants to bone the bride.
Somebody needs to put this plain fact out there for Molly, take it or leave it.
What guy volunteers to cater, photograph, deejay, AND be maid of honor for a wedding? Oh, right, the guy that wants to bone the bride.
Somebody needs to put this plain fact out there for Molly, take it or leave it.
darleen
+0 -0
Do you think that extra line next to Aunt Nina's mouth in the eighth panel is her clenching her mighty jaw? I'm not sure what emotion that is meant to be expressing? Is it a slight smile? And why the hell is that the thing I notice most from this strip?
Molly and Beef - NOOOOO!!! :(
Do you think that extra line next to Aunt Nina's mouth in the eighth panel is her clenching her mighty jaw? I'm not sure what emotion that is meant to be expressing? Is it a slight smile? And why the hell is that the thing I notice most from this strip?
Molly and Beef - NOOOOO!!! :(
quaga
+0 -0
Oh, most definitely. Uncle George has established that she wants nothing more to be left along, and being made the center of attention for even a moment is likely to make her even more cross than usual.
Oh, most definitely. Uncle George has established that she wants nothing more to be left along, and being made the center of attention for even a moment is likely to make her even more cross than usual.
quaga
+0 -0
left alone*
left alone*
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I gotta say, I think you guys are wrong. That looks nothing like a smile. That looks like an extra face line to differentiate the character from one panel to the next, so achewood doesn't look like the tens of thousands of "talking heads" out there.
In before one of you gets to make a Talking Heads reference.
[IMGS OFF]
I gotta say, I think you guys are wrong. That looks nothing like a smile. That looks like an extra face line to differentiate the character from one panel to the next, so achewood doesn't look like the tens of thousands of "talking heads" out there.
In before one of you gets to make a Talking Heads reference.
[IMGS OFF]
kickstart
+0 -0
I got a girlfriend who's better than that....
...er, at least I did until she called me an asshole
I got a girlfriend who's better than that....
...er, at least I did until she called me an asshole
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
This never happened to...
Pablo Picasso
This never happened to...
Pablo Picasso
cromar
+1 -0
He was only five foot three
girls could not resist his stare.
Pablo Picasso never got called an Asshole
Not in New York anyway
'Sthe Modern Lovers though...
He was only five foot three
girls could not resist his stare.
Pablo Picasso never got called an Asshole
Not in New York anyway
'Sthe Modern Lovers though...
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
I know, I know...I was just mixin' and matchin'.
The girls all turn the color of an
avacado
when he would drive down their street in his
El Dorado
I know, I know...I was just mixin' and matchin'.
The girls all turn the color of an
avacado
when he would drive down their street in his
El Dorado
zwab
+1 -0
He could walk down the street
and girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like Beef
He could walk down the street
and girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like Beef
tekende
+0 -0
Virtual chubbies for everyone! That song is great.
Virtual chubbies for everyone! That song is great.
daidai
+0 -0
That is the highest pinnacle of sexual anticipation shown in a facial expression.
That is the highest pinnacle of sexual anticipation shown in a facial expression.
helenthebum
+2 -0
i think she's chewing on a topiary
i think she's chewing on a topiary
slanger
+2 -0
I'm sorry if this has been said before, but anyone who has had a fight like this before their wedding, raise your hand.
Cut to me, yelling at future husband about wearing a different kind of tie at 3 AM, hands in strangle pantomime, him in a feedback loop of "no. beacuse no. I don't care what your sister says, no"
Remarkably, we still got married.
I'm sorry if this has been said before, but anyone who has had a fight like this before their wedding, raise your hand.
Cut to me, yelling at future husband about wearing a different kind of tie at 3 AM, hands in strangle pantomime, him in a feedback loop of "no. beacuse no. I don't care what your sister says, no"
Remarkably, we still got married.
octafish
+1 -0
Imagine my hand raising upward instead of touching my face. I went to my best man's place to work on our speeches together and instead we watched dvds of the Old Grey Whistle Test and drank beer, while my fiance finalised catering and a hundred other things. We still got married, the momentum will carry you over the line.
The Tie thing is funny, it reminds me of the guy who sold me my suit. To illustrate why my tie should be different from the groomsmen he drew three lines on a piece of paper and said, "So which one is the groom?", man was certifiable.
Imagine my hand raising upward instead of touching my face. I went to my best man's place to work on our speeches together and instead we watched dvds of the Old Grey Whistle Test and drank beer, while my fiance finalised catering and a hundred other things. We still got married, the momentum will carry you over the line.
The Tie thing is funny, it reminds me of the guy who sold me my suit. To illustrate why my tie should be different from the groomsmen he drew three lines on a piece of paper and said, "So which one is the groom?", man was certifiable.
irondave
+0 -0
Ours took place at a ballroom dancing class. I have forgotten what it was about, really. Yours sounds more picturesque, thank you.
Ours took place at a ballroom dancing class. I have forgotten what it was about, really. Yours sounds more picturesque, thank you.
slanger
+0 -0
I don't know, the ballroom dancing class fight sounds pretty cool! I can see why it would take place there; learning all those steps is extremely frustrating.
I don't know, the ballroom dancing class fight sounds pretty cool! I can see why it would take place there; learning all those steps is extremely frustrating.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
My first assumption would be that the fight was about the fact that you were at a ballroom dancing class.
My first assumption would be that the fight was about the fact that you were at a ballroom dancing class.
yearsinhotclaws
+15 -0
Are you ready, Steve? (Aha.)
Andy? (Yeah!)
Mick? (OK.)
Alright, fellas, let's go!!!
Oh it's been getting so hard
Livin' with the things you do to me, aha
Oh my dreams are getting so strange
I'd like to tell you everything I see
Ooh, I see a man at the back
As a matter of fact his eyes are red as the sun
And a girl in the corner let no one ignore her
'Cause she thinks she's the passionate one
[IMGS OFF]
it was like lightning, everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing, and they all started grooving
[IMGS OFF]
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
Ballroom blitz
I'm reaching out for something
Touching nothings all I ever do
Ooh, I softly call you over
When you appear there's nothing left of you, aha
Now the man in the back
Is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky!
And the girl in the corner is ev'ryone's mourner
She could kill you with a wink of her eye!
[IMGS OFF]
it was electric, so frightfully hectic!
And the band started leaving, 'cause they all stopped breathing!
[IMGS OFF]
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
Ballroom blitz
Oh yeah, it was like lightning, everybody was frightening!
And the music was soothing, and they all started grooving!
[IMGS OFF]
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
Ballroom blitz
It's it's a ballroom blitz, it's it's a ballroom blitz
It's it's a ballroom blitz,
[IMGS OFF]
it's a ballroom blitz!
[IMGS OFF]
Are you ready, Steve? (Aha.)
Andy? (Yeah!)
Mick? (OK.)
Alright, fellas, let's go!!!
Oh it's been getting so hard
Livin' with the things you do to me, aha
Oh my dreams are getting so strange
I'd like to tell you everything I see
Ooh, I see a man at the back
As a matter of fact his eyes are red as the sun
And a girl in the corner let no one ignore her
'Cause she thinks she's the passionate one
[IMGS OFF]
it was like lightning, everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing, and they all started grooving
[IMGS OFF]
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
Ballroom blitz
I'm reaching out for something
Touching nothings all I ever do
Ooh, I softly call you over
When you appear there's nothing left of you, aha
Now the man in the back
Is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky!
And the girl in the corner is ev'ryone's mourner
She could kill you with a wink of her eye!
[IMGS OFF]
it was electric, so frightfully hectic!
And the band started leaving, 'cause they all stopped breathing!
[IMGS OFF]
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
Ballroom blitz
Oh yeah, it was like lightning, everybody was frightening!
And the music was soothing, and they all started grooving!
[IMGS OFF]
And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz!
And the girl in the corner said
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz!
Ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
ballroom blitz,
Ballroom blitz
It's it's a ballroom blitz, it's it's a ballroom blitz
It's it's a ballroom blitz,
[IMGS OFF]
it's a ballroom blitz!
[IMGS OFF]
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Hope the chubby green isn't too presumptuous. My shitty image editing program can't handle transparencies that well.
Hope the chubby green isn't too presumptuous. My shitty image editing program can't handle transparencies that well.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Have a chubby for your hard work to make a joke that I don't get.
(I really hope you get more, because if you don't your only chubby will be from a guy who admits to not understanding the joke you made.)
Have a chubby for your hard work to make a joke that I don't get.
(I really hope you get more, because if you don't your only chubby will be from a guy who admits to not understanding the joke you made.)
snidedk
+0 -0
Not at all; Ballroom Blitz deserves chubbies. I'm not sure why you used Megaman though.
Not at all; Ballroom Blitz deserves chubbies. I'm not sure why you used Megaman though.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't know what the fuck that had to do with anything, but it was awesome and made me think of Wayne's World, so good work.
I don't know what the fuck that had to do with anything, but it was awesome and made me think of Wayne's World, so good work.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Well, see, I see the song as kind of being like about a fight, see? And it also has the word "ballroom" in it, see? So Its just like, creative expression, you know?
And the reason was because a long time ago, some guys on some forum were quoting the lyrics and some guy with a jumping megaman avatar did the "OOOOOHHHH YEAAAHHHH" part and I just thought it looked sweet.
i_love_kate: here
Thanks for the chuppies guys, I'm glad I got to see it in green.
Well, see, I see the song as kind of being like about a fight, see? And it also has the word "ballroom" in it, see? So Its just like, creative expression, you know?
And the reason was because a long time ago, some guys on some forum were quoting the lyrics and some guy with a jumping megaman avatar did the "OOOOOHHHH YEAAAHHHH" part and I just thought it looked sweet.
i_love_kate: here
Thanks for the chuppies guys, I'm glad I got to see it in green.
irondave
+0 -0
I have always found the setup for that tune sooooo, comical. Thank you for making this appear in my inbox.
I have always found the setup for that tune sooooo, comical. Thank you for making this appear in my inbox.
tekende
+0 -0
Well, I got that, yeah. It's just...MegaMan? MegaMan. All right. I like MegaMan.
Well, I got that, yeah. It's just...MegaMan? MegaMan. All right. I like MegaMan.
octafish
+1 -0
Sweet!
Sweet!
quaga
+0 -0
WHY MUST I BE OUT OF CHUBBIES! V-Chub for you
WHY MUST I BE OUT OF CHUBBIES! V-Chub for you
cromar
+0 -0
So sweet!
So sweet!
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
This has no reason to exist except possibly to surprise and delight me and me alone.
This has no reason to exist except possibly to surprise and delight me and me alone.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I have made love to my own face a few times. I get so lonely.
I have made love to my own face a few times. I get so lonely.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Role around in your wall street money, that should cheer you up some.
Role around in your wall street money, that should cheer you up some.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
*roll
fuck. a burn never goes down as well when you misspell.
*roll
fuck. a burn never goes down as well when you misspell.
kamet
+0 -0
That big? Reeow.
That big? Reeow.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Panel 6 reveals the blindingy rage that is involved in wanting to Make Love to Your Face. He wears sunglasses because of all the BLINDING LOVE RAGE!
Panel 6 reveals the blindingy rage that is involved in wanting to Make Love to Your Face. He wears sunglasses because of all the BLINDING LOVE RAGE!
pogo
+0 -0
"Stupid crap" -- the typical male's attitude towards a wedding.
"Stupid crap" -- the typical male's attitude towards a wedding.
tupacodaman
+0 -0
THIS is the saddest thing :*(
THIS is the saddest thing :*(
ging
+1 -0
In this story arc Roast Beef tries very hard to have a wedding with a girl with everything in his past as an obstacle.
Because of a series of misunderstandings a lot of peoples get their feelings hurt.
Didn't Molly recently have a heart to heart with Teodor? Couldn't Teodor have been really invested in this as an opportunity to prove himself? What is Roast Beef more anxious about other than failing Molly and having her not believing in him and being ashamed of him?
This comic works on many levels.
In this story arc Roast Beef tries very hard to have a wedding with a girl with everything in his past as an obstacle.
Because of a series of misunderstandings a lot of peoples get their feelings hurt.
Didn't Molly recently have a heart to heart with Teodor? Couldn't Teodor have been really invested in this as an opportunity to prove himself? What is Roast Beef more anxious about other than failing Molly and having her not believing in him and being ashamed of him?
This comic works on many levels.
skoora
+0 -0
I think I'm going to ignore the bad part at the end of the strip and just focus on how happy uncle George makes me feel.
Yayyys
I think I'm going to ignore the bad part at the end of the strip and just focus on how happy uncle George makes me feel.
Yayyys
gin_with_bears
+6 -0
Teodor better not be getting all devious.
[IMGS OFF]
Teodor better not be getting all devious.
[IMGS OFF]
starforth
+11 -0
Everyone is all hating on T, but it's not his fault he is attracted to Molly. He hasn't acted on it, and he even went the extra mile and volunteered to be extremely helpful at Beef's wedding. And what does he get for it? Called a prima dona and a vittles bitch! Beef is out of line here!
[IMGS OFF]
Everyone is all hating on T, but it's not his fault he is attracted to Molly. He hasn't acted on it, and he even went the extra mile and volunteered to be extremely helpful at Beef's wedding. And what does he get for it? Called a prima dona and a vittles bitch! Beef is out of line here!
[IMGS OFF]
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Hiuguy
what the hell is that?
Hiuguy
what the hell is that?
reddwarf
+0 -0
I was asking the same thing. it took me several hours to realize that is gin_with_bears's avitar. That is taking it to a level, there, all slapping someone's avitar in effigy
I was asking the same thing. it took me several hours to realize that is gin_with_bears's avitar. That is taking it to a level, there, all slapping someone's avitar in effigy
nonamejoe
+0 -0
I don't think I've ever seen Molly display the little anger lines perpendicular to her feline elongated vertical pupils.
Also, the alt text seems unusually sombre.
Finally, most of the comments here are about the commentary, not about the strip. Evolution.
I don't think I've ever seen Molly display the little anger lines perpendicular to her feline elongated vertical pupils.
Also, the alt text seems unusually sombre.
Finally, most of the comments here are about the commentary, not about the strip. Evolution.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Its damn near Darwinian
Its damn near Darwinian
buenothebear
+8 -0
Awwwww yeah, Molly!, you KNOW THAT LIP is QUIVERIN! it's QUIVERIN! [IMGS OFF]
Awwwww yeah, Molly!, you KNOW THAT LIP is QUIVERIN! it's QUIVERIN! [IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+0 -0
Was it your intent to sound like the cameraman in a gonzo porn video? Because you succeeded.
Was it your intent to sound like the cameraman in a gonzo porn video? Because you succeeded.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
My favorite ones are those that end with the girl's lip quivering.
My favorite ones are those that end with the girl's lip quivering.
u235
+0 -0
I think Beef's just angry because he knows that there really isn't any menu Teodor could have come up with that would have made him happy.
I think Beef's just angry because he knows that there really isn't any menu Teodor could have come up with that would have made him happy.
possums
+0 -0
WHAT CLASS IS THIS?
WHAT CLASS IS THIS?
possums
+0 -0
Oh man Beef's face in the second-to-last panel.
Better resolve this shit quick. I want that wedding.
Oh man Beef's face in the second-to-last panel.
Better resolve this shit quick. I want that wedding.
thorpe
+0 -0
So its back to the regular Achewood status quo once more.
Joy.
So its back to the regular Achewood status quo once more.
Joy.
schroduck
+0 -0
Because no couple has ever had a fight before their wedding and still got married. Ever.
Oh, wait...
Basically, this is a common plot device in every fictional wedding that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Seriously, try to find a single comedy or drama wedding that doesn't have the couple come to the verge of breakup, only to reunite. Here's a hint: There isn't one.
Because no couple has ever had a fight before their wedding and still got married. Ever.
Oh, wait...
Basically, this is a common plot device in every fictional wedding that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Seriously, try to find a single comedy or drama wedding that doesn't have the couple come to the verge of breakup, only to reunite. Here's a hint: There isn't one.
helenthebum
+0 -0
AKKOLADE is either Adam Sandler or Charles Manson, simply disguised as a parody of Chef to trick know-it-all Achewood fans into believing that Onstad wants to bang Stone and Parker
AKKOLADE is either Adam Sandler or Charles Manson, simply disguised as a parody of Chef to trick know-it-all Achewood fans into believing that Onstad wants to bang Stone and Parker
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Worst. Theory. Ever.
Worst. Theory. Ever.
dino_grill
+0 -0
i think the great paradox is
if weddings are so terrible
why do people do them
answer: cake
i think the great paradox is
if weddings are so terrible
why do people do them
answer: cake
syx
+0 -2
The cake is a lie.
The cake is a lie.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Something I just noticed, the notes in the eighth panel never vary, perfectly representing the music that usually plays in a R&B voice over interlude.
Damn! This is the best thing I have ever noticed! I am a main noticer of things now!
Something I just noticed, the notes in the eighth panel never vary, perfectly representing the music that usually plays in a R&B voice over interlude.
Damn! This is the best thing I have ever noticed! I am a main noticer of things now!
quaga
+0 -0
You are a main noticer of things. A lot of people look to you to see what you are noticing. There are people like you in every city on earth. You are one of them. There is no plan, there is no assignment. It's personality-based. Your personality is that you notice things and people with less observational skills can look to you and see that an observant person is noticing things. They can then pretend they noticed it as well in order to create safety.
You are a main noticer of things. A lot of people look to you to see what you are noticing. There are people like you in every city on earth. You are one of them. There is no plan, there is no assignment. It's personality-based. Your personality is that you notice things and people with less observational skills can look to you and see that an observant person is noticing things. They can then pretend they noticed it as well in order to create safety.
aperson
+0 -0
Yeah I noticed that.
Yeah I noticed that.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
THIS MAN READS THE BLOGS.
THIS MAN READS THE BLOGS.
quaga
+0 -0
One could say that I am a main reader of the blogs. I would not though, for I am just a man. A man who reads the blogs.
One could say that I am a main reader of the blogs. I would not though, for I am just a man. A man who reads the blogs.
kamet
+0 -0
It's a feeling of security, to know that a noticer is out there, patrolling our streets.
It's a feeling of security, to know that a noticer is out there, patrolling our streets.
deus
+1 -0
He fired the maid of honor?
This truly is a patriarchal society.
He fired the maid of honor?
This truly is a patriarchal society.
sheriff_mittens
+0 -0
Angry Beef is fine I suppose, but I miss Depressed Beef.
Angry Beef is fine I suppose, but I miss Depressed Beef.
caffeinewolf
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
caffeinewolf
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
quaga
+0 -0
That is the angriest a person can look without blood shooting out of ears / eyes.
That is the angriest a person can look without blood shooting out of ears / eyes.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
Or removing their own head.
Or removing their own head.
deus
+0 -0
It is generally agreed amongst the professionals that tearing your own head off is the angriest thing you can do.
https://greatoutdoorfight.com/index.php/The_Carmichael
It is generally agreed amongst the professionals that tearing your own head off is the angriest thing you can do.
https://greatoutdoorfight.com/index.php/The_Carmichael
hedonismbot
+1 -0
So, your avatar...
So, your avatar...
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Shhhh! if you don't mention it it'll sink back into the primeval ooze...
Shhhh! if you don't mention it it'll sink back into the primeval ooze...
salvar
+1 -0
Poor Uncle George. His cautious optimism was destroyed so rudely, and so utterly.
Poor Uncle George. His cautious optimism was destroyed so rudely, and so utterly.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Oh man, naw. George is enjoying the hell out of a singer knowing and singing his name. This has never happened to him before.
Oh man, naw. George is enjoying the hell out of a singer knowing and singing his name. This has never happened to him before.
salvar
+0 -0
He was enjoying it right up until it was suggested that this large man would be "up in" him. The punch cut (in the style of a Lost flashback, perhaps, with the same sense of disjointed reality?) just serves as an exclamation point--Uncle George's reaction to this cannot even be illustrated .
He was enjoying it right up until it was suggested that this large man would be "up in" him. The punch cut (in the style of a Lost flashback, perhaps, with the same sense of disjointed reality?) just serves as an exclamation point--Uncle George's reaction to this cannot even be illustrated .
steerpike66
+0 -0
Oh man, we haven't had some singin' like this in Achewood for long enough. Sexy.
Oh man, we haven't had some singin' like this in Achewood for long enough. Sexy.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I bet Akkolade's skeleton looks weird.
I bet Akkolade's skeleton looks weird.
contrasoma
+0 -0
Just remember all caps when you spell the man's name .
Just remember all caps when you spell the man's name .
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Epic... just Epic! v-chubbed to the hilt!
Epic... just Epic! v-chubbed to the hilt!
gmm
+0 -0
I must say, this is one of the best sets of comments we've had lately. Good work, team!
I must say, this is one of the best sets of comments we've had lately. Good work, team!
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Instead of getting a DJ, Beef COULD just let Ray do Seasons in the Sun in its entirety. Just sayin'.
Instead of getting a DJ, Beef COULD just let Ray do Seasons in the Sun in its entirety. Just sayin'.
thegoblins
+0 -0
But that would just be about five minutes, and then there would be no more music fun!
But that would just be about five minutes, and then there would be no more music fun!
pygmalion00
+1 -0
Ok, ok, I guess Philippe could lead everyone with a rousing round of The Chicken Dance.
Ok, ok, I guess Philippe could lead everyone with a rousing round of The Chicken Dance.
leon
+0 -0
O man, Teodor being caterer and maid of honor of Roast Beef's wedding is akin to Lyle being the woman of Mister Band. Teodor just feels that, like women's television, he is not, "being heard."
O man, Teodor being caterer and maid of honor of Roast Beef's wedding is akin to Lyle being the woman of Mister Band. Teodor just feels that, like women's television, he is not, "being heard."
jthompson
+0 -0
I'm getting married in nine days. Also my fiancee still likes me.
Oh man I really should've hired a caterer, though. People like to eat at weddings, right? Oh man.
I'm getting married in nine days. Also my fiancee still likes me.
Oh man I really should've hired a caterer, though. People like to eat at weddings, right? Oh man.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If you hire a caterer to your wedding, people will stay around afterward and eat. You will have to socialize with them, and the two of you will be tired and irritated at the end of the day, and nobody will get laid (false, the wedding party will fuck each other, YOU won't get laid)
If you hire a caterer to your wedding, people will stay around afterward and eat. You will have to socialize with them, and the two of you will be tired and irritated at the end of the day, and nobody will get laid (false, the wedding party will fuck each other, YOU won't get laid)
wylderaven
+3 -0
You can't deny for a moment that this is a big devious plan on Teodor's part. He's had years to get a crush on Molly - and it starts now when the jealousy has set in. Then he becomes her shoulder to lean on and subtly plants seeds of frustration. He deliberately gets fired (come on, who would give that menu to Beef and NOT expect a blow up?) so that Molly has a reason to implode. Teodor orchestrated this whole thing, consciously or not, and he deserves a good Ray bitchslap.
[IMGS OFF]
You can't deny for a moment that this is a big devious plan on Teodor's part. He's had years to get a crush on Molly - and it starts now when the jealousy has set in. Then he becomes her shoulder to lean on and subtly plants seeds of frustration. He deliberately gets fired (come on, who would give that menu to Beef and NOT expect a blow up?) so that Molly has a reason to implode. Teodor orchestrated this whole thing, consciously or not, and he deserves a good Ray bitchslap.
[IMGS OFF]
madmangosteen
+0 -0
sweet, it's good to know that as my personal life collapses into a pile of flaming splinters the same process is being documented via bizarre coincidence in one of my favorite sources of entertainment
sweet, it's good to know that as my personal life collapses into a pile of flaming splinters the same process is being documented via bizarre coincidence in one of my favorite sources of entertainment
unaware
+0 -0
I think Beef's pumping up is rubbing off on Molly.
Check out the triceps on her:
[IMGS OFF]
I think Beef's pumping up is rubbing off on Molly.
Check out the triceps on her:
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -1
There will be no pumping or rubbing off with those two any time soon.
There will be no pumping or rubbing off with those two any time soon.
odei
+0 -0
Maybe regrettable actions will be committed, like throwing out the purple pumps.
Maybe regrettable actions will be committed, like throwing out the purple pumps.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
Maybe Onstad just can't draw arms?
not to diss the man or anything, he's a comedy genius, but arms are pretty damn hard to draw.
Maybe Onstad just can't draw arms?
not to diss the man or anything, he's a comedy genius, but arms are pretty damn hard to draw.
unaware
+0 -0
I think its harder to draw muscular arms than non-muscular arms.
It's seems all intentional to me.
I think its harder to draw muscular arms than non-muscular arms.
It's seems all intentional to me.
dasilodavi
+1 -0
I believe things will be okay by tomorrow, if not Monday. They're both stressed, and certain things get said. They can rise above this, of that I am confident.
I believe things will be okay by tomorrow, if not Monday. They're both stressed, and certain things get said. They can rise above this, of that I am confident.
lokier
+0 -0
It's good to get that fight out of the way Beef, I'm 3 weeks away from mine and still everything is running nervously smooth.
It's good to get that fight out of the way Beef, I'm 3 weeks away from mine and still everything is running nervously smooth.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, hedonismbot, loneal, IronDave, Doc_Rostov, Irien)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, hedonismbot, loneal, IronDave, Doc_Rostov, Irien)
colorlessness
+1 -0
weddings are still so gay, part 2: the saga will never end
weddings are still so gay, part 2: the saga will never end
tekende
+1 -0
From the director of Scream comes his most ambitious thriller yet: I Still Remember Your Gay Wedding Last Summer. Coming to theatres July 25.
From the director of Scream comes his most ambitious thriller yet: I Still Remember Your Gay Wedding Last Summer. Coming to theatres July 25.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
At the end, the killer is revealed to be an undead Jerry Fallwell.
At the end, the killer is revealed to be an undead Jerry Fallwell.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Weddings Are Still So Gay II: Electric Boogaloo
Weddings Are Still So Gay II: Electric Boogaloo
bixschmix
+0 -0
My feelings on gratuitous Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo jokes are: ALWAYS PRO.
My feelings on gratuitous Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo jokes are: ALWAYS PRO.
colorlessness
+0 -0
And yet, your actual rating was 'neu'.
And yet, your actual rating was 'neu'.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Touche.
Touche.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Wedding whiners are lame as snorks. No one forces you into it, you don't have to participate in them.
However, I'm totally with anybody who refuses to pay RIDICULOUS SUMS for a wedding. I mean seriously watch one episode of "Who's Wedding Is It, Anyway?"* and you'll just agape for like, two hours.
*i do not seriously intend for anyone to watch this television program and if you do i am not responsible for anything you do afterwards not a thing
Wedding whiners are lame as snorks. No one forces you into it, you don't have to participate in them.
However, I'm totally with anybody who refuses to pay RIDICULOUS SUMS for a wedding. I mean seriously watch one episode of "Who's Wedding Is It, Anyway?"* and you'll just agape for like, two hours.
*i do not seriously intend for anyone to watch this television program and if you do i am not responsible for anything you do afterwards not a thing
cromar
+0 -2
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
schroduck
+0 -0
I respectfully disagree.
I respectfully disagree.
cromar
+0 -0
Hey sorry. Just vibin' off words...
Hey sorry. Just vibin' off words...
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Oh I just got that it was a joke about snorks and not you calling the post lame.
Sorry for laming you, friend!
Oh I just got that it was a joke about snorks and not you calling the post lame.
Sorry for laming you, friend!
pityparty
+0 -0
People shouldn't be so stressed about their weddings, with the current divorce rate they'll have lots of chances to practice.
People shouldn't be so stressed about their weddings, with the current divorce rate they'll have lots of chances to practice.
weapon86
+1 -0
All I can think of is eating vindaloo made from rosemary topiaries that have been pruned to resemble raccoons.
All I can think of is eating vindaloo made from rosemary topiaries that have been pruned to resemble raccoons.
nottommy
+0 -0
no! don't do it, beef, don't blow it! don't blow it!
no! don't do it, beef, don't blow it! don't blow it!
schroduck
+0 -0
Is Onstad spelling "D.J." as "Deejay" for effect, or is this one of those crazy words that don't make a huge amount of sense etymologically speaking but have become really popular in America, like "burglarize"?
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE PEOPLE KNOW
Is Onstad spelling "D.J." as "Deejay" for effect, or is this one of those crazy words that don't make a huge amount of sense etymologically speaking but have become really popular in America, like "burglarize"?
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE PEOPLE KNOW
rechelon
+0 -0
D.J. - deejay
how does that not make sense etymologically
D.J. - deejay
how does that not make sense etymologically
spillingvelvet
+0 -0
BEEF. FOR PETES SAKE GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.
BEEF. FOR PETES SAKE GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
oh my god weird
oh my god weird
aarongstock
+1 -0
It's about time we had a bisexual Barry White.
It's about time we had a bisexual Barry White.
sidd2600
+0 -0
No way. I will not be robbed of my dream occupation.
No way. I will not be robbed of my dream occupation.
hendetta
+0 -0
Next song: "I Wanna Fuck You" by Akon.
Next song: "I Wanna Fuck You" by Akon.
hypoluxa
+0 -0
I have never seen so many fives all lined up in row like this.
I have never seen so many fives all lined up in row like this.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Holy shit! Teodor might get to slip Molly the pickle after all. This does not bode well.
Holy shit! Teodor might get to slip Molly the pickle after all. This does not bode well.
hateandwar
+0 -0
5 for AKKOLADE
5 for AKKOLADE
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
You are going to have a fight shortly before you walk down the aisle. This is just one of the many lessons Achewood has to teach us.
You are going to have a fight shortly before you walk down the aisle. This is just one of the many lessons Achewood has to teach us.
dusty
+0 -0
So is beef's uncle the sample guy from the grocery store that Ray poured beer into, or has molly just seen that guy when she was at the store and imagines that he may be a relative of beef? I mean it's not just looks, he has the same personality.
So is beef's uncle the sample guy from the grocery store that Ray poured beer into, or has molly just seen that guy when she was at the store and imagines that he may be a relative of beef? I mean it's not just looks, he has the same personality.
He is SO close to getting syndicated.
the music notes are so thoughtfully written out. panel eight came alive in my ears
I'm pretty sure that, judging by the lyrics, he'd love to come alive in your ears.
Chick was hot enough, he'd fuck her toes.
Or if she wasn't hot enough.
A toe-man is down on his luck when he has to fuck the toes of an unattractive woman...
Or if she was Uncle George.
.LADY AND THE TRAAAAAMP
Aww yea AKKOLADE that third note you sung just now was perfect dogg. Maybe sing it again a little later alright.
I got a hankerin' for some BASS STEAKS, y'all.
Served right into your ears?
With the world's largest pair of tongs, of course.
I would say the reason AKKOLADE isn't already the deejay shows how far away he is from becoming a brother in the syndicate. (See what I did there?)
I hope Beef and Teodor reconcile, though. He's gonna make a rockin' maid of honor.
Quote:
Meanwhile, in parallel universe 919-J...
[IMGS OFF]
"...but I think what really helped it take off was the characters always using each others' names in the first panel. It immediately tells the first-time reader everything he needs to know about them."
- Mort Walker, in the foreword to Volume 29: Deanster Goes Bananas!
My brain is having a party now. A brilliant move, sir, smartly executed.
That crazy Deanster! Always getting into trouble. Is there anything he won't say?
Edwell you just summarized 95% of all syndicated comic strips, and I am reeling. ugh. They are not good. In reply to the previous comment, the syndication business model won't work unless the content that it is distributing is predictable and consistent, which makes for a mediocre strip. Therefore, Achewood will not be syndicated, at least not in newspapers. There are a very few artists who can every day create something worthwhile and creative in that postage-stamp space the newspapers give an artist. Maybe Onstead could do it, assuming he was even interested, but I guess that the result would have a very different story telling style from the Achewood we know today. Some Achewood strips cover a lot of territory, almost like reading an installment of a novel. That is part of the hook of Achewood that reels us in - in a post-digital apocalyptic world of streaming fragmented nano bytes of content each vying for moments of attention and bits of market-share of a public whose mind has gone A.D.D., Achewood provides an alternative.
Achewood plus syndication is equal to Sex and the City or the Sopranos on TBS.
Close approximation=any Tarantino film on network TV.
Gull durn melon farmers!
Motherfather Chinese Dentist
What us Chinese Dentist?! Cunt Diesease?!
Largely nonsense!
You see what happens Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?
Heh, what?
Do you SEE what HAPPENS when you FEED A STRANGER SCRAMBLED EGGS??!
argh oh god that frightened me horrible for a moment
If only there were a Deanster and Breeanna version of each comic..the artwork is awesome, and what a zinger in panel 3! HAhaha! Woo, Nelly!
Seriously, though. I would enjoy the contrast.
You get a chubby, for the Mind Taker.
Alt text dropped for being too "insider" for a mainstream audience. Well played, sir.