andrew_
+24 -1
Let's all take guesses as to who Ray is on the line with.
my guess? Onstad.
Let's all take guesses as to who Ray is on the line with.
my guess? Onstad.
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, kylank, stopeatingmyeyes, equinn2006)
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, kylank, stopeatingmyeyes, equinn2006)
lateadopter
+3 -1
Bensington Butters.
Bensington Butters.
augeno13
+8 -1
only if his riverdance tour is over
only if his riverdance tour is over
gothfae
+3 -1
My irony is on Pat.
My irony is on Pat.
smog
+0 -0
A comment left by smog was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, Andrew_, yingkaixing)
A comment left by smog was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, Andrew_, yingkaixing)
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, nbgreene, ButterMoths, Homepie, Thorfinn, Vondicus, fatcat, atticusonline, fmercury, Setzkin, NumberKillinger)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, nbgreene, ButterMoths, Homepie, Thorfinn, Vondicus, fatcat, atticusonline, fmercury, Setzkin, NumberKillinger)
gormster
+0 -0
I think it has to do with how many lames you get, which means you just set yourself back aways.
I think it has to do with how many lames you get, which means you just set yourself back aways.
ndpjohnny
+1 -0
That totally could be a cuss.
That totally could be a cuss.
andrew_
+0 -0
A comment left by andrew_ was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, kylank, Red_Dawn, LuckyG, sigmacoder, mthrfckr, Madoushi)
A comment left by andrew_ was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, kylank, Red_Dawn, LuckyG, sigmacoder, mthrfckr, Madoushi)
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, nbgreene, featurelessvoid, Thorfinn, kylank, atticusonline, fmercury, Mastronaut, STUART)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, nbgreene, featurelessvoid, Thorfinn, kylank, atticusonline, fmercury, Mastronaut, STUART)
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ewin, StoatLad, Thorfinn, kylank, RogerGS, Red_Dawn, radishes)
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ewin, StoatLad, Thorfinn, kylank, RogerGS, Red_Dawn, radishes)
ethelthefrog
+6 -1
Teodor. Gotta be.
Teodor. Gotta be.
libelandslander
+0 -0
Yeah, I assumed it was Teodor as well.
Yeah, I assumed it was Teodor as well.
nbgreene
+0 -0
A comment left by nbgreene was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, equinn2006, lateadopter)
A comment left by nbgreene was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, equinn2006, lateadopter)
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, kylank, equinn2006)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, kylank, equinn2006)
apocowarg
+6 -0
C'mon people, he's on the phone with Roast Beef.
C'mon people, he's on the phone with Roast Beef.
lexsenthur
+3 -0
The only one who will deal with Ray's random conversation topics and his total lack of any desire to walk out to the pool house to just talk to Beef. He probably bought Beef a cell phone for this very purpose.
The only one who will deal with Ray's random conversation topics and his total lack of any desire to walk out to the pool house to just talk to Beef. He probably bought Beef a cell phone for this very purpose.
echidnaboy
+7 -0
"Man, I drank so much, I rocked a whiskey dick all night!"
"Dang Ray did you just say you rocked a whiskey dick all night"
"You're damn right I said I rocked a whiskey dick all night!"
"Man, I drank so much, I rocked a whiskey dick all night!"
"Dang Ray did you just say you rocked a whiskey dick all night"
"You're damn right I said I rocked a whiskey dick all night!"
sleepyhead
+0 -0
pat probably gets kahluna dong
pat probably gets kahluna dong
morbo
+2 -0
No, no. It should be such as "dacquiri dong." "Margarita member." You see.
No, no. It should be such as "dacquiri dong." "Margarita member." You see.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Gin Johnson
Tequila Trolley
Schnapps Schwing Schwong
Come on guys, we can make this a thing.
Gin Johnson
Tequila Trolley
Schnapps Schwing Schwong
Come on guys, we can make this a thing.
doomchild
+3 -1
Bourbon Blood-Bong
Vodka Vas Deferens
Screwdriver Screwdriver
Martini Mayonnaise Cannon
DC
Bourbon Blood-Bong
Vodka Vas Deferens
Screwdriver Screwdriver
Martini Mayonnaise Cannon
DC
ariamaki
+0 -0
V_Chubby for Screwdriver Screwdriver.
V_Chubby for Screwdriver Screwdriver.
mockereo
+0 -0
Manhattan Meat-dildo?
Cognac Cock?
Brandy Boner?
Wine Wiener?
Manhattan Meat-dildo?
Cognac Cock?
Brandy Boner?
Wine Wiener?
jbushnell
+0 -0
Cousin Kev.
Cousin Kev.
shmuckeles
+1 -1
what can you do with a guy who just doesn't get that EVERYone says this?
what can you do with a guy who just doesn't get that EVERYone says this?
vorrishnikov
+3 -1
I've never known Jack Daniels to be as effective as Cialis. In fact, it has had the exact opposite effect on me. I guess this explains why I don't know Ray and Ray doesn't know me.
I've never known Jack Daniels to be as effective as Cialis. In fact, it has had the exact opposite effect on me. I guess this explains why I don't know Ray and Ray doesn't know me.
duskbringer
+32 -0
I'm not being all literal when I say I find a worm at the bottom of a bottle of Tequila.
I'm not being all literal when I say I find a worm at the bottom of a bottle of Tequila.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
Agreed. I'm with Ray on this one.
Agreed. I'm with Ray on this one.
juanclaudius
+1 -2
It seems there are two kinds of drinkers: Those who can hold their whiskey, savor it, hell, feel more astute afterwards, and then there are those who start falling down and singing shanties after a mere couple sips of good old Ezra. I am thankful to be in the prior category. It means that I am a Man.
It seems there are two kinds of drinkers: Those who can hold their whiskey, savor it, hell, feel more astute afterwards, and then there are those who start falling down and singing shanties after a mere couple sips of good old Ezra. I am thankful to be in the prior category. It means that I am a Man.
zapatos
+3 -0
You just aren't depressed. I usually want to smash my cock with a hammer most of the time. Is it weird to want to watch a porn where they just have a really wonderful relationship full of love, and aren't strangers?
You just aren't depressed. I usually want to smash my cock with a hammer most of the time. Is it weird to want to watch a porn where they just have a really wonderful relationship full of love, and aren't strangers?
tenshanhan
+0 -0
Yeah, but us "falling down, shanty singing" drinkers are the ones actually having fun.
Yeah, but us "falling down, shanty singing" drinkers are the ones actually having fun.
tenshanhan
+0 -0
Damn it, I fail at formatting. I must have been too busy drunkenly singing shanties.
Damn it, I fail at formatting. I must have been too busy drunkenly singing shanties.
bradypalvarez
+0 -0
A comment left by bradypalvarez was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, pubdoggy, ishuta, madnes, RaysDangNachos, ocarinak, kylank, SchnappM, twohundredninety, ArtVandelay, GeyserShitdick, mortshire, Padijun, wehavemagnums)
A comment left by bradypalvarez was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, pubdoggy, ishuta, madnes, RaysDangNachos, ocarinak, kylank, SchnappM, twohundredninety, ArtVandelay, GeyserShitdick, mortshire, Padijun, wehavemagnums)
mortshire
+0 -0
A comment left by mortshire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, Lacrimus, haff, achewife, Xaxx, Hotwax)
A comment left by mortshire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, Lacrimus, haff, achewife, Xaxx, Hotwax)
johnstephens
+3 -1
I appreciate it. Firefox has a bug where it cuts off the alt-text after one line rather than showing it all paragraph-style.
I appreciate it. Firefox has a bug where it cuts off the alt-text after one line rather than showing it all paragraph-style.
kilroywashere
+6 -1
I think this got fixed in one of the newer releases, but if it didn't you can get a plugin for it here:
https://piro.sakura.ne.jp/xul/_popupalt.html.en
I think this got fixed in one of the newer releases, but if it didn't you can get a plugin for it here:
https://piro.sakura.ne.jp/xul/_popupalt.html.en
matthearn
+2 -1
Definitely not fixed in the latest release. Thanks for the plugin!
Definitely not fixed in the latest release. Thanks for the plugin!
johnstephens
+7 -0
Yes, thanks! It works like a treasure between two slices of bread!
Yes, thanks! It works like a treasure between two slices of bread!
le_chien_manquee
+0 -0
thanks, matey
thanks, matey
mortshire
+3 -2
Oh my god, I was such a douche last night. I AM SORRY EVERYONE.
Oh my god, I was such a douche last night. I AM SORRY EVERYONE.
luckyg
+9 -0
Don't apologize for being an asshole on the internet. That's what it was made for.
Don't apologize for being an asshole on the internet. That's what it was made for.
never_die
+5 -1
I sincerely hope Ray's game pipe was not up for more than 3 hours. 'Cause nothing is less rad then what has to happen when a game pipe is up for more than 3 hours.
I sincerely hope Ray's game pipe was not up for more than 3 hours. 'Cause nothing is less rad then what has to happen when a game pipe is up for more than 3 hours.
closefriend
+6 -0
https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1993-04.html
https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1993-04.html
overmedicated
+0 -0
Oh... oh my .
Oh... oh my .
spinynorman
+1 -0
I can't read that without hearing Sulu in my head, and I'm about as far from being a Trekkie as possible
I can't read that without hearing Sulu in my head, and I'm about as far from being a Trekkie as possible
gormster
+0 -0
You know who Sulu is and what he says, which means you must have watched the show at some point. Sir, I am less of a Trekkie than thou. I have never, in my life, watched Star Trek. The closest I've come was that episode of Futurama.
You know who Sulu is and what he says, which means you must have watched the show at some point. Sir, I am less of a Trekkie than thou. I have never, in my life, watched Star Trek. The closest I've come was that episode of Futurama.
spinynorman
+1 -0
You watch Star Trek for the same reasons you watch vintage porno - pure curiosity. You want to see it and say, "So this is what people used to watch all the time? ...huh. Well, don't that beat all."
You watch Star Trek for the same reasons you watch vintage porno - pure curiosity. You want to see it and say, "So this is what people used to watch all the time? ...huh. Well, don't that beat all."
juanclaudius
+1 -0
Granted, everyone in their right mind should know Sulu. George Takei, as the Internet once said, is the living justification for American pop culture.
Granted, everyone in their right mind should know Sulu. George Takei, as the Internet once said, is the living justification for American pop culture.
alzuna
+0 -0
I have to admit I watched it (not religiously mind you) because I am a total nerd .
I have to admit I watched it (not religiously mind you) because I am a total nerd .
bixschmix
+0 -0
"The patient's penis fell off by itself."
"The patient's penis fell off by itself."
kilovictorsierra
+0 -0
Everyone knows that once your game pipe has been lit for three hours you're entitled to get your bone on.
Everyone knows that once your game pipe has been lit for three hours you're entitled to get your bone on.
hollybones
+1 -2
Excellent. A return to the awesome.
Excellent. A return to the awesome.
biff
+2 -0
I don't understand why he didn't do something to take care of his game pipe. Why would he just take it to bed with him by himself?
I don't understand why he didn't do something to take care of his game pipe. Why would he just take it to bed with him by himself?
jeannetteandre
+1 -2
Ray seems to think very low of foreign alcohol :\
Ray seems to think very low of foreign alcohol :\
twotonturkey
+0 -0
Oh I don't think so, he seems to be rather fond of getting twisty on Jager shots and Stellas, not to mention kinky Aberlour
Oh I don't think so, he seems to be rather fond of getting twisty on Jager shots and Stellas, not to mention kinky Aberlour
aspiclove
+4 -0
Ketel One? Twist or olive?
Ketel One? Twist or olive?
jerkface
+0 -0
A comment left by jerkface was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, kylank, KiloVictorSierra, STUART, skyliner, aperson)
A comment left by jerkface was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, kylank, KiloVictorSierra, STUART, skyliner, aperson)
straw
+2 -1
https://moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/03-05/03_05_jack_daniel.htm
https://www.petitiononline.com/JD002/
https://moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/03-05/03_05_jack_daniel.htm
https://www.petitiononline.com/JD002/
thedudeabides85
+13 -1
I once got "Pabst pecker" at a hipster party in Brooklyn.
I once got "Pabst pecker" at a hipster party in Brooklyn.
sargasm
+0 -0
A comment left by sargasm was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mattfish, BillyLK, thedudeabides85)
A comment left by sargasm was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mattfish, BillyLK, thedudeabides85)
ethelthefrog
+15 -0
How about ... Champenis?
How about ... Champenis?
gussiejives
+1 -0
Crown Royal Cock! The king of the ding dong!
Crown Royal Cock! The king of the ding dong!
boheeka
+0 -0
Drambuie dong.
Drambuie dong.
artvandelay
+6 -0
I see that Ray has his Talking Jacket on.
I see that Ray has his Talking Jacket on.
oltanya
+4 -0
The Guinness Gun is always ready to fire.
The Guinness Gun is always ready to fire.
silver_lake
+2 -0
Solid dick talk from the only authority on the subject of talkin' 'bout dicks and how they are.
Solid dick talk from the only authority on the subject of talkin' 'bout dicks and how they are.
hellabosque
+0 -0
A comment left by hellabosque was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by editrix, madnes, oishii, Vondicus, fidget13, aperson)
A comment left by hellabosque was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by editrix, madnes, oishii, Vondicus, fidget13, aperson)
steerpike66
+8 -0
Phone jacket: check
Martini: Check
Sssip: check
Sass: check.
Doubt: Check.
Turn away, lower voice, worry: check.
Phone jacket: check
Martini: Check
Sssip: check
Sass: check.
Doubt: Check.
Turn away, lower voice, worry: check.
rogergs
+10 -0
I have it on no less an authority than Ice Cube that St. Ides malt liquor makes your jimmy thicker.
I have it on no less an authority than Ice Cube that St. Ides malt liquor makes your jimmy thicker.
stuart
+0 -1
Oh god I hope Onstad checks ray@achewood.com because I totally just submitted this to Urban Dictionary.
Oh god I hope Onstad checks ray@achewood.com because I totally just submitted this to Urban Dictionary.
plummet
+2 -0
the HELL that's what it means!
I need to use that more regularly
the HELL that's what it means!
I need to use that more regularly
pyromancer
+14 -0
Everybody dance like there's abilities in your pants!
Everybody dance like there's abilities in your pants!
plezure
+1 -0
Ray calls his whiskey dick "big red."
Ray calls his whiskey dick "big red."
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
mega nasty
mega nasty
overmedicated
+0 -0
BOO TO THAT
BOO TO THAT
luckyg
+0 -0
Whatever happened to the pepper? Or the rad chilies?
Whatever happened to the pepper? Or the rad chilies?
estutius
+0 -0
Well I'll be damned. The Man With Abilities In His Pants.
Well I'll be damned. The Man With Abilities In His Pants.
stevepants
+0 -0
A comment left by stevepants was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Solle, ButterMoths, thehumanlobster, scrumpton, matthearn, Mastronaut, philosophe, aperson)
A comment left by stevepants was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Solle, ButterMoths, thehumanlobster, scrumpton, matthearn, Mastronaut, philosophe, aperson)
misterwolf
+5 -0
There is this whole category of things that Ray is proud of that it doesn't make any sense for Ray to be proud of. Why id he proud of having an erection with (presumably) no one around? Is he 80?
There is this whole category of things that Ray is proud of that it doesn't make any sense for Ray to be proud of. Why id he proud of having an erection with (presumably) no one around? Is he 80?
carrollhach
+2 -2
Love Ray's spirit, but he's flat wrong on this one. I assume he's talking to Beef because Beef is most always right. From the [url=https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whiskey dick]Urban Dic(k)tionary:[/url]
Whiskey Dick:
When too much alcohol has been consumed into a males body making it impossible to achieve an erection even in circumstances where it would be almost impossible not to.
Parker almost got his dick sucked last weekend but had Whiskey Dick. Later in the night he did state that "It is working."
Love Ray's spirit, but he's flat wrong on this one. I assume he's talking to Beef because Beef is most always right. From the [url=https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whiskey dick]Urban Dic(k)tionary:[/url]
Whiskey Dick:
When too much alcohol has been consumed into a males body making it impossible to achieve an erection even in circumstances where it would be almost impossible not to.
Parker almost got his dick sucked last weekend but had Whiskey Dick. Later in the night he did state that "It is working."
biztsar
+0 -0
A comment left by biztsar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by plasticand40, behka, Mastronaut)
A comment left by biztsar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by plasticand40, behka, Mastronaut)
philosophe
+5 -1
You, like Alanis Morissette, are not ironic.
You, like Alanis Morissette, are not ironic.
biztsar
+0 -0
A comment left by biztsar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mr_lostman28, Jar, behka, Mastronaut)
A comment left by biztsar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mr_lostman28, Jar, behka, Mastronaut)
nonorganon
+4 -0
The Roland Barthes of Achewood's AssetBar.
The Roland Barthes of Achewood's AssetBar.
lateadopter
+7 -0
You missed the irony of emasculation by pop-up.
You missed the irony of emasculation by pop-up.
nonorganon
+1 -0
Ray is forgetting the distinction between the "drinking eight or nine bourbons neat" and "pouring Old Crow into Pabst pounders". The former is what he thinks it means while the latter is the standard convention, they are simultaneously true. However, the latter also happens to be what the one that happens most often in the most crucial years for getting your bone on, your 20s.
Ray is forgetting the distinction between the "drinking eight or nine bourbons neat" and "pouring Old Crow into Pabst pounders". The former is what he thinks it means while the latter is the standard convention, they are simultaneously true. However, the latter also happens to be what the one that happens most often in the most crucial years for getting your bone on, your 20s.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
While I agree with Ray in the last sentence, I still can't help but think there's a better way to announce your abilities than "rock[ing] a whiskey dick all night." What Ray describes was not my first impression.
While I agree with Ray in the last sentence, I still can't help but think there's a better way to announce your abilities than "rock[ing] a whiskey dick all night." What Ray describes was not my first impression.
jar
+3 -0
So does Ray have an official 'phone jacket' now?
So does Ray have an official 'phone jacket' now?
evolume
+2 -0
drinking makes it easier to talk to strippers.
drinking makes it easier to talk to strippers.
fuckyoufriday
+13 -0
Well, Ray's certainly dead wrong on the definition of "whiskey dick", but alcohol does have some unpredictable sexual side-effects sometimes. I think it'd be pretty unusual for it to facilitate getting an erection, unless it's suppressing your performance anxiety or something like that. A little booze before a roll in the hay is well-known as a cheap and fun treatment of premature ejaculation, though. But you have to be... [IMGS OFF]
Well, Ray's certainly dead wrong on the definition of "whiskey dick", but alcohol does have some unpredictable sexual side-effects sometimes. I think it'd be pretty unusual for it to facilitate getting an erection, unless it's suppressing your performance anxiety or something like that. A little booze before a roll in the hay is well-known as a cheap and fun treatment of premature ejaculation, though. But you have to be... [IMGS OFF]
luckyg
+0 -0
I can't see that image. What does it say?
I can't see that image. What does it say?
overmedicated
+1 -0
...hella yellin' about the sex. If you don't know who is hella yellin', then I don't even want to know you.
...hella yellin' about the sex. If you don't know who is hella yellin', then I don't even want to know you.
ajordan
+0 -0
One of the best.
One of the best.
xiaomimi
+10 -0
Tuesday Blogs
Ray: Australian Culture Lessons #1
Tuesday Blogs
Ray: Australian Culture Lessons #1
i_love_kate
+0 -0
This is literal gold. I literally exploded with laughter. I really love misapplying the word "literal."
This is literal gold. I literally exploded with laughter. I really love misapplying the word "literal."
Ray is starting to fail at the follow-up questions. CAN HE SPORT WOOD?!
hell yes he can still sport wood!
I have the same condition as Ray.
All my friends get their boners inhibited by whiskey, but I... I become a man with abilities.
Fabulous. And I lift my glass to the awful truth, which you can't reveal to the years of youth, except to say it isn't worth a damn.
Joined, logged in, and chubbied purely for Cohen reference.
Oh, sure, you came for the Cohen reference, but it'll be the whiskey dick that keeps you around.
can i haz whiskey dick?
I'm a chick, and whisk(e)y makes me stupid-horny. It's definitely a thing.
Should... should I be taking notes?
my father knows a guy.
instead of tequila?
tequila makes the clothes come off
"chubbied" takes on a whole new meaning here
def a dude.
The thing is, getting wet seems to be way less difficult than getting hard when a ton of liquor is involved. The Ideal Situation is: Her-Sloshed, Me- Slightly tipsy. That is when the Imagineers get involved in my sex life.
BONED