hikikomori
+1 -2
In Connie's full fantasy, he is always the man on the business end of naked.
In Connie's full fantasy, he is always the man on the business end of naked.
tbtabby
+0 -0
A comment left by tbtabby was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rasteroid, mania3, ConnorMc)
A comment left by tbtabby was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rasteroid, mania3, ConnorMc)
tbtabby
+0 -0
A comment left by tbtabby was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, rasteroid, mania3)
A comment left by tbtabby was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, rasteroid, mania3)
farqussus
+0 -0
The tide turns! Assbar errors used to get chubbied.
The tide turns! Assbar errors used to get chubbied.
aperson
+0 -0
Assbar?
Makes the secret sign of t.o.u.a.m.b.
Assbar?
Makes the secret sign of t.o.u.a.m.b.
riazm
+0 -0
Lets see if I can do a single thing right in my goddamn life.
If that turned out right, I advise you set it as your wallpaper, centered, as I have done. No doubt some pixel pushing photoshop jockey can do a better job than me though.
Lets see if I can do a single thing right in my goddamn life.
If that turned out right, I advise you set it as your wallpaper, centered, as I have done. No doubt some pixel pushing photoshop jockey can do a better job than me though.
riazm
+5 -0
Turns out I cannot do a single thing right in my goddamn life. What about...THIS:
Turns out I cannot do a single thing right in my goddamn life. What about...THIS:
echidnaboy
+7 -1
I'm sorry but this just makes me think of that Palahniuk story that was posted on here a while back.
"A gentleman of a certain age reaches a point where he is no longer satisfied by the humdrum mediocrity of Mrs. Palm and her admittedly lovely daughters and finds that his baser regions require more dramatic stimulation. Eventually one finds oneself beneath the limpid waters of a well-to-do acquaintance's out-of-doors pool, one's "tradesman's entrance" seated squarely upon the fervent suction of the installation's intake device."
I'm sorry but this just makes me think of that Palahniuk story that was posted on here a while back.
"A gentleman of a certain age reaches a point where he is no longer satisfied by the humdrum mediocrity of Mrs. Palm and her admittedly lovely daughters and finds that his baser regions require more dramatic stimulation. Eventually one finds oneself beneath the limpid waters of a well-to-do acquaintance's out-of-doors pool, one's "tradesman's entrance" seated squarely upon the fervent suction of the installation's intake device."
nice-on-water
+7 -1
Oh god oh no oh no no pearl diving not now not here not like this please please oh god
Oh god oh no oh no no pearl diving not now not here not like this please please oh god
actualtaunt
+2 -0
fuck fuck fuck I wanted to chubby you fuck fuck
O Gods on highest Olympian throne
What bloodbourne curse flows through my line
To throatcut mine own friend, who ne'er has caused me harm?
GODS! Torture not thy slave, cast me not this shoulder bone!
fuck fuck fuck I wanted to chubby you fuck fuck
O Gods on highest Olympian throne
What bloodbourne curse flows through my line
To throatcut mine own friend, who ne'er has caused me harm?
GODS! Torture not thy slave, cast me not this shoulder bone!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Echidnaboy, you have wronged us all. I demand satisfaction, sir.
Echidnaboy, you have wronged us all. I demand satisfaction, sir.
rahlerskates
+0 -0
I am with Kate's lover. I read that story once, quite against my will, and was neither horrified nor shocked (as had promised the friend who passed the story to me).
I expected Ju-on and received Blood Feast. I demand satisfaction!
I am with Kate's lover. I read that story once, quite against my will, and was neither horrified nor shocked (as had promised the friend who passed the story to me).
I expected Ju-on and received Blood Feast. I demand satisfaction!
mortshire
+4 -0
Seeing the frame isolated like this, it looks like Cornelius has just been shot while storming Normandy .
Seeing the frame isolated like this, it looks like Cornelius has just been shot while storming Normandy .
desdin0va
+1 -0
knowing his life, cornelius probably WAS shot storming normandy
knowing his life, cornelius probably WAS shot storming normandy
gormster
+0 -0
It's a Will Somebody Please Fuckin Cornelius Friday.
It's a Will Somebody Please Fuckin Cornelius Friday.
gormster
+14 -0
FUCK GOD DAMN IT SHIT PISS
FUCK GOD DAMN IT SHIT PISS
farqussus
+1 -0
uhh.. Fuckin Cornelius!
uhh.. Fuckin Cornelius!
baryonyx
+12 -0
Achewood is now a strip entirely about characters getting their bone on in ways that surprise others.
Achewood is now a strip entirely about characters getting their bone on in ways that surprise others.
hamscout
+6 -0
Looks like they've finally boned the shark...
Looks like they've finally boned the shark...
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Now that I have had a dream about.
Now that I have had a dream about.
rasteroid
+0 -0
isn't that what life comes down to for us simple monkeys, oh robotic overlord
isn't that what life comes down to for us simple monkeys, oh robotic overlord
baryonyx
+0 -0
I can't let you do that, Dave/First you will be baked, and then there will be cake./How about a nice game of chess/MISTER ANDERSON, WELCOME BACK.
I can't let you do that, Dave/First you will be baked, and then there will be cake./How about a nice game of chess/MISTER ANDERSON, WELCOME BACK.
gormster
+1 -0
OH MY GOD ALL MY FAVOURITE FICTION CHARACTERS ARE ROBOTS
OH MY GOD ALL MY FAVOURITE FICTION CHARACTERS ARE ROBOTS
davey-boy
+0 -0
Bite my shiny metal ass, Gormster.
Bite my shiny metal ass, Gormster.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Awww, you're a sweety
Awww, you're a sweety
pogo
+0 -0
Life is entirely about getting your bone on, ain't it?
Life is entirely about getting your bone on, ain't it?
baryonyx
+0 -0
HIGHLY IRRATIONAL, FLESHLING.
(Baryonyx is now a poster entirely about being a robot)
HIGHLY IRRATIONAL, FLESHLING.
(Baryonyx is now a poster entirely about being a robot)
autrepoupee
+1 -0
and so began assetbar 3000
and so began assetbar 3000
stereo
+0 -0
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do...
I'm half ... crazy, all for the love of you...
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do...
I'm half ... crazy, all for the love of you...
pogo
+0 -0
You best be believing the Three Laws, metal head.
You best be believing the Three Laws, metal head.
bumpishound
+4 -0
Aw man now I'm gonna have to write a synth song called "Eustachian Tube Funk."
Aw man now I'm gonna have to write a synth song called "Eustachian Tube Funk."
saulbellow
+1 -0
no you don't
no you don't
actualtaunt
+18 -0
The trick with mixing songs about the inner ear is trying to find the right balance.
The trick with mixing songs about the inner ear is trying to find the right balance.
pogo
+3 -1
Yes, composing for the inner ear puts you under a lot of pressure.
Yes, composing for the inner ear puts you under a lot of pressure.
actualtaunt
+5 -0
The lyrics tend to be good, even if they do wax poetic from time to time.
The lyrics tend to be good, even if they do wax poetic from time to time.
pogo
+3 -0
And keep the beat without breaking the drum.
And keep the beat without breaking the drum.
actualtaunt
+2 -0
They really have to make an effort to keep the melodies fluid.
They really have to make an effort to keep the melodies fluid.
phoenixultima
+0 -0
And of course you need just the right vibrations.
And of course you need just the right vibrations.
eightbitsama
+0 -0
Don't forget to hammer out the kinks before you release it.
Don't forget to hammer out the kinks before you release it.
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
Well if that doesn't ring true, I don't know what does.
Well if that doesn't ring true, I don't know what does.
actualtaunt
+2 -0
It seems this discussion has really struck a chord with the asset crowd.
It seems this discussion has really struck a chord with the asset crowd.
actualtaunt
+3 -0
Alternatively:
I don't know any of these inner ear songs, but whistle an assetbar, and I'll fake it.
Alternatively:
I don't know any of these inner ear songs, but whistle an assetbar, and I'll fake it.
usversusthem
+2 -0
Man, you guys sure know how to stir up the humour.
Man, you guys sure know how to stir up the humour.
actualtaunt
+6 -0
An' vill it ever stop?
An' vill it ever stop?
nice-on-water
+5 -1
I hope not; such jokes are the stap(l)es of comedy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stapes
I had to stretch but I wanted to be a part of this, you know.
I hope not; such jokes are the stap(l)es of comedy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stapes
I had to stretch but I wanted to be a part of this, you know.
baryonyx
+0 -0
It was a huge stretch, actually, but I will not begrudge because it taught me knowledge.
It was a huge stretch, actually, but I will not begrudge because it taught me knowledge.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The more you know.
The more you know.
nice-on-water
+0 -1
Puns.
Puns.
biznart
+1 -0
I ran out of chubbies. That...that's never happened to me before. I do love a good pun.
I ran out of chubbies. That...that's never happened to me before. I do love a good pun.
awksedperl
+2 -0
Yeah, you don't want to end up with a tympany of destruction.
Yeah, you don't want to end up with a tympany of destruction.
invidious
+26 -0
Cornelius just won the Pimp-Ass Games, too.
Cornelius just won the Pimp-Ass Games, too.
macrosprime
+0 -0
Chubbed. He just gave Beef and Ray the pimp hand.
Chubbed. He just gave Beef and Ray the pimp hand.
spazdor
+1 -0
Is that anything like Plump Leg?
Is that anything like Plump Leg?
grayestnova
+0 -0
It's more like the Pomp Foot.
It's more like the Pomp Foot.
actualtaunt
+2 -0
I'd go so far as to say he won the Pimp Ass-games.
I'd go so far as to say he won the Pimp Ass-games.
daidai
+7 -0
He wrecked the "trick the stripper into using her freebase spoon for non-freebasing" event.
He wrecked the "trick the stripper into using her freebase spoon for non-freebasing" event.
norsef
+0 -0
A comment left by norsef was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by implode, Cracklewater, mystkmanat, Methadone)
A comment left by norsef was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by implode, Cracklewater, mystkmanat, Methadone)
jonno
+1 -1
No that is how women think.
Men do things efficiently.
No that is how women think.
Men do things efficiently.
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
Bob Marley = pimp.
Bob Marley = pimp.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Shoo, I thought this was actually pretty funny. Have a chub, norsef, I don't think you were being a literal guy who thinks women must wait for a man to allow them to be can-rocked, there. The image you crafted made me smirk, and kind of get a half-mast.
Shoo, I thought this was actually pretty funny. Have a chub, norsef, I don't think you were being a literal guy who thinks women must wait for a man to allow them to be can-rocked, there. The image you crafted made me smirk, and kind of get a half-mast.
gormster
+0 -0
Wow, this place is turning into xkcd-reference-a-thon.
Wow, this place is turning into xkcd-reference-a-thon.
falseprophet
+1 -0
Please call in and make your pledge today.
Please call in and make your pledge today.
doctorbaronking
+7 -0
I like imagining that that's Lyle's girlfriend. And that Cornelius is finally gonna give some come-uppance to that tiger. But also to that stripper.
I like imagining that that's Lyle's girlfriend. And that Cornelius is finally gonna give some come-uppance to that tiger. But also to that stripper.
hikikomori
+1 -0
Man, closest thing Lyle's got to a girlfriend is any number of M2F post-op transsexuals that need to feel more secure about their new bodies.
(This message has been paid for by The Maslow Agency)
Man, closest thing Lyle's got to a girlfriend is any number of M2F post-op transsexuals that need to feel more secure about their new bodies.
(This message has been paid for by The Maslow Agency)
tbtabby
+0 -0
Forgetting Darlene, are we?
Forgetting Darlene, are we?
doctorbaronking
+0 -0
Yes, we are :(
Yes, we are :(
hikikomori
+7 -0
Daaaaaaamn!
Maybe.. maybe this is Darlene.
But remember, it's Lyle. Darlene could be a damn car.
Daaaaaaamn!
Maybe.. maybe this is Darlene.
But remember, it's Lyle. Darlene could be a damn car.
thegoodwillgirl
+5 -0
Cornelius cares for this woman.
He will see to it that she gets her massage therapy degree.
They will show that flickering light who is the boss of that bungalow!
Cornelius cares for this woman.
He will see to it that she gets her massage therapy degree.
They will show that flickering light who is the boss of that bungalow!
prettyrad
+1 -0
Cornelius would most definitely earn the adoration of a prostitute. I'm just not buying the fact that Cornelius is falling for her.
Cornelius would most definitely earn the adoration of a prostitute. I'm just not buying the fact that Cornelius is falling for her.
wozzeck
+2 -0
She's a stripper, not a whore. Have you young punks have no discernment whatsoever?
She's a stripper, not a whore. Have you young punks have no discernment whatsoever?
invidious
+0 -1
You fling money at them, you get a few moments of titillation out of it (literally and figuratively), you feel like the dude that sucks the next morning... what's the difference?
You fling money at them, you get a few moments of titillation out of it (literally and figuratively), you feel like the dude that sucks the next morning... what's the difference?
tripleg
+0 -0
slightly better odds of getting through the experience without ending up like pogo's ex-girlfriend
slightly better odds of getting through the experience without ending up like pogo's ex-girlfriend
morypcaina
+0 -0
really old?
you mean irateturk's
really old?
you mean irateturk's
tripleg
+0 -0
no i meant [url-https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua8RM5BF#comment_424]pogo's[/url]
no i meant [url-https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua8RM5BF#comment_424]pogo's[/url]
tripleg
+0 -0
shit
shit
kamet
+2 -0
On assetbar, BBcode fucks YOU.
On assetbar, BBcode fucks YOU.
pogo
+0 -0
With crabs.
With crabs.
wozzeck
+0 -0
The difference between flirting and fucking.
The difference between flirting and fucking.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Your mother .
Your mother .
wilto
+0 -0
You're still the dude that sucks, but with one you get less depression.
You're still the dude that sucks, but with one you get less depression.
pulpfree
+0 -2
A common misconception is that strippers are human. They are actually soulless robots designed to suck money out of men.
A common misconception is that strippers are human. They are actually soulless robots designed to suck money out of men.
sje46
+0 -0
So does that mean I'm half robot?
Cool!
So does that mean I'm half robot?
Cool!
usversusthem
+0 -0
No, I think it means you're half naked. Which, given how young you are, is probably definitely illegal to tell us about on Assetbar.
(And that was the story of how sje46 turned all of the rest of Acheworld into the bottom of the prison food chain. Next, on the Discovery channel: Sharks! Don't go away.)
No, I think it means you're half naked. Which, given how young you are, is probably definitely illegal to tell us about on Assetbar.
(And that was the story of how sje46 turned all of the rest of Acheworld into the bottom of the prison food chain. Next, on the Discovery channel: Sharks! Don't go away.)
jonmw
+1 -0
I'm 19, and from where I'm sitting, it's prefectly legal for me to say that I'm naked.
Move to a real country, where you're an adult at 18!
I'm 19, and from where I'm sitting, it's prefectly legal for me to say that I'm naked.
Move to a real country, where you're an adult at 18!
speccer
+0 -0
The joke is that he is Assetbar Phillipe. And, thus, that he is five, regardless of how old he really is.
The joke is that he is Assetbar Phillipe. And, thus, that he is five, regardless of how old he really is.
sje46
+0 -0
Is there something wrong with being five?
=/
Is there something wrong with being five?
=/
speccer
+0 -0
No, I was just explaining usversusthem's joke to jonmw.
No, I was just explaining usversusthem's joke to jonmw.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Thanks for having my back, speccer. You're a real stand-up dude.
Thanks for having my back, speccer. You're a real stand-up dude.
aeater
+0 -0
Do I understand that you are a part time stripper? Hence the "half"? What?
Do I understand that you are a part time stripper? Hence the "half"? What?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I think his mom is a stripper.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Honestly though, I think that's what he meant.
I think his mom is a stripper.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Honestly though, I think that's what he meant.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I agree.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I agree.
sje46
+0 -0
That was indeed the joke.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
That was indeed the joke.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
theirateturk
+1 -1
All women are sluts
All women are sluts
pogo
+1 -1
And all men are dickheads.
And all men are dickheads.
theguitarhero
+3 -0
Only the ones you date, turk.
Only the ones you date.
Only the ones you date, turk.
Only the ones you date.
theirateturk
+1 -0
What are you basing this on
What are you basing this on
theguitarhero
+4 -0
Something the basketball team told me.
Something the basketball team told me.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I hope you appreciate all that I am doing for you.
I hope you appreciate all that I am doing for you.
kamet
+0 -0
Highlighting the hos before the other guys fall into their evil traps?
Highlighting the hos before the other guys fall into their evil traps?
senseihollywood
+0 -0
A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Telescreen, Tad-, Lapsarian)
A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Telescreen, Tad-, Lapsarian)
wozzeck
+0 -1
Stay away from the ones with fake tits and you'll likely do better, but no, dating a dancer is not for the faint of heart.
(My beloved was a Lit major, btw.)
Stay away from the ones with fake tits and you'll likely do better, but no, dating a dancer is not for the faint of heart.
(My beloved was a Lit major, btw.)
theirateturk
+1 -0
i chubbied this because it clearly states that you dated a stripper!
i chubbied this because it clearly states that you dated a stripper!
senseihollywood
+0 -0
yeah, I was pretty much just trying to make this known.
Carry on.
yeah, I was pretty much just trying to make this known.
Carry on.
deadpool
+0 -2
Beef's use of the word "retarded" offends me.
Beef's use of the word "retarded" offends me.
terebikun
+0 -0
it offends me that he could consider an old fashioned retarded. that's a good drink.
it offends me that he could consider an old fashioned retarded. that's a good drink.
rowboat
+3 -0
Um, he means, like, good retarded. Like Corky retarded.
Um, he means, like, good retarded. Like Corky retarded.
baryonyx
+5 -0
Well as someone who hates retarded people it offends me he would use it as a positive descriptor.
Well as someone who hates retarded people it offends me he would use it as a positive descriptor.
speccer
+1 -0
As someone who is not a fan of the Black Eyed Peas it offends me he would use a descriptor they popularized.
As someone who is not a fan of the Black Eyed Peas it offends me he would use a descriptor they popularized.
gormster
+0 -0
No, no they didn't.
No, no they didn't.
whoisspain
+2 -0
As someone who is not a fan of Black Eyed Peas, my dinner is ruined.
As someone who is not a fan of Black Eyed Peas, my dinner is ruined.
philophobe
+1 -0
I don't know, man, I was conflicted about this. I really want him to be saying 'good retarded' about the Old Fashioned, which is a princely drink if ever there was one. But the Wallbanger, I mean that's just some raw nasty bullshit. Galliano can eat a dick as far as I'm concerned, all marketing folks designing the world's most ridiculous bottle first, then pouring in the first batch of herbed vanilla swill they could get their hands on. Drink a fucking Screwdriver if you must, but let the Galliano rot in its obelisk.
I don't know, man, I was conflicted about this. I really want him to be saying 'good retarded' about the Old Fashioned, which is a princely drink if ever there was one. But the Wallbanger, I mean that's just some raw nasty bullshit. Galliano can eat a dick as far as I'm concerned, all marketing folks designing the world's most ridiculous bottle first, then pouring in the first batch of herbed vanilla swill they could get their hands on. Drink a fucking Screwdriver if you must, but let the Galliano rot in its obelisk.
magreaux_dogg
+0 -0
I think he means it's "retarded" in the sense that it will get him drunk.
I think he means it's "retarded" in the sense that it will get him drunk.
caboom
+6 -0
No, it's obviously retarded in the sense of being mentally handicapped. Chris Onstad does not care about retarded people.
No, it's obviously retarded in the sense of being mentally handicapped. Chris Onstad does not care about retarded people.
rowboat
+11 -0
He hates them in that special way in which smart people hate retards.
He hates them in that special way in which smart people hate retards.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Whoah man retarded .
Whoah man retarded .
tekende
+2 -0
Ray and Beef are about to go full retard.
Ray and Beef are about to go full retard.
rowboat
+0 -0
Retarded in the membrane.
Retarded in the membrane.
invidious
+3 -0
Never go full retard, man. That was their mistake.
Never go full retard, man. That was their mistake.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You go full retard, you walk away empty handed.
(That film was insane with awesome.)
You go full retard, you walk away empty handed.
(That film was insane with awesome.)
tekende
+1 -0
It was retarded with awesome.
It was retarded with awesome.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Actually, kind of irritating.
Actually, kind of irritating.
farqussus
+0 -0
Irritating like a retard? They're pretty fucking irritating.
Irritating like a retard? They're pretty fucking irritating.
zebra
+3 -0
But terrifyingly strong.
So you think hey! Absolutely I should put my body, with all of its soft organs, pretty near to this person and hope there's no fit of any kind forthcoming. My plans are so solid I'm basically the general of daytime.
But terrifyingly strong.
So you think hey! Absolutely I should put my body, with all of its soft organs, pretty near to this person and hope there's no fit of any kind forthcoming. My plans are so solid I'm basically the general of daytime.
farqussus
+0 -0
There should be a General of Daytime.
There should be a General of Daytime.
kickstart
+0 -0
Well, there is Day Man, fighter of the Night Man.
Well, there is Day Man, fighter of the Night Man.
terebikun
+5 -0
They have the strength of 10 men, which equals about the strength of one chimpanzee. So if you ever see a retarded chimpanzee coming at you, you RUN. That thing is a borderline superhero. But Hollywood on its moral high horse won't make a movie about a retarded chimp, unless you count Vin Diesel movies, which I do .
They have the strength of 10 men, which equals about the strength of one chimpanzee. So if you ever see a retarded chimpanzee coming at you, you RUN. That thing is a borderline superhero. But Hollywood on its moral high horse won't make a movie about a retarded chimp, unless you count Vin Diesel movies, which I do .
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Do you not feel bad about that, because if I like Vin Diesel movies, I shouldn't even be here?
Do you not feel bad about that, because if I like Vin Diesel movies, I shouldn't even be here?
sje46
+0 -0
I don't like him solely because of his name.
I don't like him solely because of his name.
farqussus
+0 -0
That can be read two ways
That can be read two ways
terebikun
+0 -0
My friend died watching Vin Diesel movies. Not a funny comment, not a good thread.
My friend died watching Vin Diesel movies. Not a funny comment, not a good thread.
invidious
+6 -0
They come at you all fists n' elbows, and you're all screaming "NO! NO! NOOO!" but all they hear is "who wants cake?"
And they all want cake.
They come at you all fists n' elbows, and you're all screaming "NO! NO! NOOO!" but all they hear is "who wants cake?"
And they all want cake.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I am laughing and also crying at the fact that I am laughing.
I am laughing and also crying at the fact that I am laughing.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i do not get the reference...if there is one.
if there is none, this is properly enjoyable.
and also funny.
General Statement:
i am not excited for Christmas commercials and music.
General Statement, what news from the North?
(or would it be State General..?)
i do not get the reference...if there is one.
if there is none, this is properly enjoyable.
and also funny.
General Statement:
i am not excited for Christmas commercials and music.
General Statement, what news from the North?
(or would it be State General..?)
farqussus
+0 -0
The General of Daytime has a statement: No Sleeping on My Watch!
The General of Daytime has a statement: No Sleeping on My Watch!
tekende
+0 -0
Seriously, don't sleep on my watch. You might break it and I need to wear it today.
Seriously, don't sleep on my watch. You might break it and I need to wear it today.
hamscout
+2 -0
This watch...
This watch...
sje46
+0 -0
Who knows what wondrous adventures that watch has been through?
Who knows what wondrous adventures that watch has been through?
speccer
+1 -0
In the magical world of Christopher Walken's ass.
In the magical world of Christopher Walken's ass.
farqussus
+0 -0
There is nothing magical about that world.
There is nothing magical about that world.
tekende
+0 -0
How do you know Christopher Walken's ass is bad?
How do you know Christopher Walken's ass is bad?
tripleg
+0 -0
Ralph Bashki made a movie about it. It was called Wizards and it was bad.
Ralph Bashki made a movie about it. It was called Wizards and it was bad.
sje46
+0 -0
Quote:
Because he stuck a watch up there for that long.
I mean, this guy deserves to be president.
Quote:
How do you know Christopher Walken is badass?
Because he stuck a watch up there for that long.
I mean, this guy deserves to be president.
farqussus
+0 -0
ahem..
WHY FIND OUT
ahem..
WHY FIND OUT
divot
+0 -0
The retarded don't rule the night. No one does.
The retarded don't rule the night. No one does.
rowboat
+0 -0
Bullshit! BULLSHIT!
I can't believe you'd even say that! I'd like to see you rule the night as hard as a retard.
Bullshit! BULLSHIT!
I can't believe you'd even say that! I'd like to see you rule the night as hard as a retard.
hedonismbot
+3 -1
I apologize up front
I am also offended. My mother was killed by retardation. Itw as not a good comment by Beef. Not a good stripper
I apologize up front
I am also offended. My mother was killed by retardation. Itw as not a good comment by Beef. Not a good stripper
spazdor
+2 -0
Let's get mentally handicapped in here.
Let's get mentally handicapped in here.
wozzeck
+1 -0
"I'm feeling pretty fucking special-needsy right about now."
"I'm feeling pretty fucking special-needsy right about now."
invidious
+0 -0
(later that night)
"HHMMMUUUHHH!! HUUHHHHMMMAHHH UNNNAAHH!! *BLEEEEARRRRRRGGGG!*"
(later that night)
"HHMMMUUUHHH!! HUUHHHHMMMAHHH UNNNAAHH!! *BLEEEEARRRRRRGGGG!*"
falseprophet
+1 -0
We bout to get Trigonometric up in this heezy.
We bout to get Trigonometric up in this heezy.
actualtaunt
+3 -0
Maybe he means "um hey ray, it is such as retarded that we have not been drinking hell of old school drinks this whole time, all telling women how to blow us proper, all playing the piano for our own private parties."
Maybe he means "um hey ray, it is such as retarded that we have not been drinking hell of old school drinks this whole time, all telling women how to blow us proper, all playing the piano for our own private parties."
nosearmy
+0 -0
I'd like to believe he was referring to the Harvey Wallbanger, or rather, to his post-Wallbanger state. Reatrded.
I'd like to believe he was referring to the Harvey Wallbanger, or rather, to his post-Wallbanger state. Reatrded.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Harvey Wallbangers are the Prince of Cocktails.
Harvey Wallbangers are the Prince of Cocktails.
cbtbone
+0 -0
Totally.
Totally.
dejavroom
+17 -0
I never noticed this, but doesn't the Autobots logo look like he's moping? For me life, the poor robot looks bummed about something. Maybe debts.
I never noticed this, but doesn't the Autobots logo look like he's moping? For me life, the poor robot looks bummed about something. Maybe debts.
jonno
+0 -0
Chubby for shattering my childhood illusions of awesome.
Chubby for shattering my childhood illusions of awesome.
usversusthem
+1 -0
Maybe he also has advanced prostate cancer, like Optimus. So get your ass checked out before it's too late, turkeys!
Maybe he also has advanced prostate cancer, like Optimus. So get your ass checked out before it's too late, turkeys!
mystkmanat
+4 -0
AUTOBOT, CAN WE AFFORD THE TAXES?
AUTOBOT, CAN WE AFFORD THE TAXES?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
NO WE CAN'T, OPTIMUS.
NO WE CAN'T, OPTIMUS.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Sounds to me like Optimus Prime invested a little too heavily into Lehman Brothers.
Slag.
Sounds to me like Optimus Prime invested a little too heavily into Lehman Brothers.
Slag.
cbtbone
+4 -0
BASICALLY WE ARE ROBOTS AND WE HAVE NO WAY OF HAVING ANY MONEY EVER.
WE SHOULD ALL JUST SUICIDE OURSELVES.
AUTOBOTS. ASSEMBLE FOR MASS SUICIDE.
BASICALLY WE ARE ROBOTS AND WE HAVE NO WAY OF HAVING ANY MONEY EVER.
WE SHOULD ALL JUST SUICIDE OURSELVES.
AUTOBOTS. ASSEMBLE FOR MASS SUICIDE.
aperson
+6 -0
LIFE, LOATHE IT OR IGNORE IT, YOU CAN'T LIKE IT.
LIFE, LOATHE IT OR IGNORE IT, YOU CAN'T LIKE IT.
gormster
+1 -0
Is that Marvin from the original miniseries? My god.
I have to say he was basically what saved the movie for me.
Is that Marvin from the original miniseries? My god.
I have to say he was basically what saved the movie for me.
davey-boy
+1 -0
Nah, he was basically a Garfield cartoon throughout the whole thing.
Nah, he was basically a Garfield cartoon throughout the whole thing.
sje46
+0 -0
Me as well.
Me as well.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I'd have much preferred if he changed the offending adverb to something like...
LETS GET IT STARTED AAHHAA
LETS GET IT STARTED (IN HERE)
LETS GET IT STARTED AAHAA
LETS GET IT STARTED (IN HERE)
I'd have much preferred if he changed the offending adverb to something like...
LETS GET IT STARTED AAHHAA
LETS GET IT STARTED (IN HERE)
LETS GET IT STARTED AAHAA
LETS GET IT STARTED (IN HERE)
kamet
+0 -0
Chubby for PC Black Eyed Peas
Chubby for PC Black Eyed Peas
tekende
+0 -0
It's an adjective, not an adverb.
It's an adjective, not an adverb.
autrepoupee
+15 -0
YOU'RE AN ADVERB
YOU'RE AN ADVERB
daidai
+8 -0
It's super-effective!
The enemy tekende faints!
Porygon Z gains 6 chubbies!
It's super-effective!
The enemy tekende faints!
Porygon Z gains 6 chubbies!
gormster
+3 -0
Now NO-ONE ELSE CAN CHUBBY THAT COMMENT OR ELSE THIS WON'T MAKE SENSE.
Now NO-ONE ELSE CAN CHUBBY THAT COMMENT OR ELSE THIS WON'T MAKE SENSE.
falseprophet
+6 -0
IF AUTREPOUPEE'S COMMENT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
YOU MUST ACQUIT
IF AUTREPOUPEE'S COMMENT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE
YOU MUST ACQUIT
jetbunny
+0 -0
TOO LATE.
TOO LATE.
sje46
+1 -1
I still don't really understand what a chubby is.
=/
I still don't really understand what a chubby is.
=/
carpetbag
+0 -1
It is a penis.
It is a penis.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Don't bother with that. He seems to be trolling now.
Don't bother with that. He seems to be trolling now.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm not a troll!
. .. . .I'm really not.
I'm not a troll!
. .. . .I'm really not.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I've got chubs for you.
I've got chubs for you.
gormster
+0 -0
Oh man, for a second there I thought you were talking about this .
Oh man, for a second there I thought you were talking about this .
invidious
+0 -0
Never gets old, does it?
Never gets old, does it?
gormster
+0 -0
Never ever ever.
Never ever ever.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
...Gonna give you up.
...Gonna give you up.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
...Gonna let you down.
...Gonna let you down.
sje46
+0 -0
. . . Gonna run around and desert you.
. . . Gonna run around and desert you.
stereo
+0 -0
Oh my god, he ripped off meatloaf
Oh my god, he ripped off meatloaf
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Why? Are you a retard?
Why? Are you a retard?
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't know who you're talking to, but let's go ahead and assume that the answer is "yes."
I don't know who you're talking to, but let's go ahead and assume that the answer is "yes."
davey-boy
+0 -0
Deadpool, all the way up there, who said that Beef's use of the word 'retarded' offended him.
Deadpool, all the way up there, who said that Beef's use of the word 'retarded' offended him.
deadpool
+0 -0
I was joking too. And I got lamed.
That's... Lame. For lack of better term.
I was joking too. And I got lamed.
That's... Lame. For lack of better term.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I think perhaps retarded is a good word to use in describing Deadpool. He can kick ass all the same, but damn is he a freak. The character I mean, not you.
I think perhaps retarded is a good word to use in describing Deadpool. He can kick ass all the same, but damn is he a freak. The character I mean, not you.
synnah
+0 -0
Cornelius in the last panel = A Solid 5.
Cornelius in the last panel = A Solid 5.
cbtbone
+0 -0
(your comment) minus (the last panel) plus (panel 5) = my sentiments exactly!
(your comment) minus (the last panel) plus (panel 5) = my sentiments exactly!
senseihollywood
+1 -0
um, I'm gonna need to see that charted out on the blackboard...
um, I'm gonna need to see that charted out on the blackboard...
cbtbone
+1 -0
I have prepared some diagrams to help you. R2, if you please? So, as you can see here, the Empire will be prepared for a full-scale assault. However, it is possible for a small fighter to penetrate their defenses, and enter this channel here on the surface.
I have prepared some diagrams to help you. R2, if you please? So, as you can see here, the Empire will be prepared for a full-scale assault. However, it is possible for a small fighter to penetrate their defenses, and enter this channel here on the surface.
fattybeaver
+0 -1
In panel 9 she is laughing but I dont think he is making a joke. I think he is just answering her question with a hand gesture.
In panel 9 she is laughing but I dont think he is making a joke. I think he is just answering her question with a hand gesture.
spinynorman
+0 -0
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, HolyQ, tripleG, Methadone)
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, HolyQ, tripleG, Methadone)
daidai
+2 -0
I met a pastafarian stripper once...
To this day I'm pretty sure she was unaware of the concept of satire.
I met a pastafarian stripper once...
To this day I'm pretty sure she was unaware of the concept of satire.
wozzeck
+1 -1
You've been going to the wrong places, saying the wrong things to the wrong girls.
You've been going to the wrong places, saying the wrong things to the wrong girls.
fookerreturns
+5 -2
I think the ultimate place to go is bars where you can meet girls, get them drunk, fuck them in your truck in the bar parking lot, and get them pregnant. Well, that's what you should do if you're a bass player living off your parents. Then, the next thing to do is to act like you get achewood after she introduces you to it.
I think the ultimate place to go is bars where you can meet girls, get them drunk, fuck them in your truck in the bar parking lot, and get them pregnant. Well, that's what you should do if you're a bass player living off your parents. Then, the next thing to do is to act like you get achewood after she introduces you to it.
davey-boy
+3 -0
So to give her head in an aeroport? '
Fuck off.
So to give her head in an aeroport? '
Fuck off.
farqussus
+7 -0
Hey man, I get achewood, and I'm just stayin in the basement til I finish paying off the F250. Fuck you man. She left you, and she said she never done nothin to you at a airport. Get over it dude.
Bass rocks.
Hey man, I get achewood, and I'm just stayin in the basement til I finish paying off the F250. Fuck you man. She left you, and she said she never done nothin to you at a airport. Get over it dude.
Bass rocks.
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
gormster
+0 -0
Jesus. *Ignore*
Jesus. *Ignore*
flazisismuss
+0 -0
I'd like to add several rules.
Don't ask for free legal advice. I need more information to give a reasoned opinion on anything than can be given by a naked chick in my lap.
Don't try to sell me real estate or involve me in your ponzi scheme. I'm not interested.
If we discuss literature or politics - you, unlike a normal woman I am hitting on, should probably pretend to be interested in my absurd drunken theories. The reason you should pretend to be interested in these things is that I have a pocketful of twenties.
I'd like to add several rules.
Don't ask for free legal advice. I need more information to give a reasoned opinion on anything than can be given by a naked chick in my lap.
Don't try to sell me real estate or involve me in your ponzi scheme. I'm not interested.
If we discuss literature or politics - you, unlike a normal woman I am hitting on, should probably pretend to be interested in my absurd drunken theories. The reason you should pretend to be interested in these things is that I have a pocketful of twenties.
gormster
+5 -0
I didn't get past "stripper's". Seriously. Stephen Fry would be furious .
I didn't get past "stripper's". Seriously. Stephen Fry would be furious .
speccer
+3 -0
"YOU IMBECILE! MAY LUCIFER BRAND YOUR FOREHEAD WITH AN APOSTROPHE IN HADES!"
"YOU IMBECILE! MAY LUCIFER BRAND YOUR FOREHEAD WITH AN APOSTROPHE IN HADES!"
lexsenthur
+0 -0
"It's thiiiiis long"?
Nah, Connie isn't that crass. 'Prolly meandering conversations about some ridiculous stunt of Ray's.
"It's thiiiiis long"?
Nah, Connie isn't that crass. 'Prolly meandering conversations about some ridiculous stunt of Ray's.
em2
+2 -0
Panel 9: There were so many whales!
Panel 9: There were so many whales!
falseprophet
+17 -0
Panel 9 is that moment where Cornelius is in that drunken place where he tells the girl about what he believes to be his Low Art (in this case children's books) because it will get him some 'tang, knowing that he cannot have a moving and heartfelt conversation with a soul-mate about his High Art (his closed-captioned pornography), but then his loosening inhibitions lead him to the postmodern realization that there's no difference between Low Art and High Art and that this woman's praise of his children's books have him believing that she really is the One to wipe away all the Cobwebs of his Mind, until he wakes up the next morning and remembers that Ernest Hemingway's name didn't get into the annals of literary history because there were so many fucking whales and he slowly slips out from under the sleeping harlot's arm that previously didn't seem so flabby and absconds into the early morning horizon, resuming that constant search for the Pulitzer, and the pair of pants he left behind.
A Momentary Diversion On The Road To The Grave.
Panel 9 is that moment where Cornelius is in that drunken place where he tells the girl about what he believes to be his Low Art (in this case children's books) because it will get him some 'tang, knowing that he cannot have a moving and heartfelt conversation with a soul-mate about his High Art (his closed-captioned pornography), but then his loosening inhibitions lead him to the postmodern realization that there's no difference between Low Art and High Art and that this woman's praise of his children's books have him believing that she really is the One to wipe away all the Cobwebs of his Mind, until he wakes up the next morning and remembers that Ernest Hemingway's name didn't get into the annals of literary history because there were so many fucking whales and he slowly slips out from under the sleeping harlot's arm that previously didn't seem so flabby and absconds into the early morning horizon, resuming that constant search for the Pulitzer, and the pair of pants he left behind.
A Momentary Diversion On The Road To The Grave.
usversusthem
+1 -0
How to Weep the Weepy-Weep Way, by False Prophet
How to Weep the Weepy-Weep Way, by False Prophet
morypcaina
+2 -0
your MOMentary diversion on the road to the grave
no one has made this joke before
your MOMentary diversion on the road to the grave
no one has made this joke before
i_love_kate
+1 -0
No one said it could be done!
No one said it could be done!
stereo
+4 -0
Two stuffed bears in a rabbit.
Can't say I saw this coming.
Two stuffed bears in a rabbit.
Can't say I saw this coming.
hikikomori
+1 -0
Later: Two bears, one of which is getting stuffed in a rabbit.
Can't say I wanna see the coming.
Hell of crass of me to say I would peep a stately man who is so refined he only needs temperatures while he is busy crafting the beast with two backaches.
Later: Two bears, one of which is getting stuffed in a rabbit.
Can't say I wanna see the coming.
Hell of crass of me to say I would peep a stately man who is so refined he only needs temperatures while he is busy crafting the beast with two backaches.
kickstart
+0 -0
Oh, I was hoping it was a convertible Mustang.
Oh, I was hoping it was a convertible Mustang.
mustakrakesh
+1 -0
That's not a Brat, I think it's a VW Rabbit with a drop top, that's back woods gangsta.
That's not a Brat, I think it's a VW Rabbit with a drop top, that's back woods gangsta.
asherdan
+1 -0
I think you hit it on the head there.
I also bump this strip up a notch for 'Stad picking the right car to match the right character. It's a neat knack.
I think you hit it on the head there.
I also bump this strip up a notch for 'Stad picking the right car to match the right character. It's a neat knack.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Cabriolet. It's a Cabriolet. Which is a kind of Rabbit.
Cabriolet. It's a Cabriolet. Which is a kind of Rabbit.
flazisismuss
+1 -0
Also acceptable choices for stripper cars: Mazda Miata, 6-cylinder Mustang, old BMW 3-series, Camaro.
Also acceptable choices for stripper cars: Mazda Miata, 6-cylinder Mustang, old BMW 3-series, Camaro.
wozzeck
+5 -0
Top-tier girls can be found in Lexus, Mercedes, Lotus, etc.
Top-tier girls often go by names like Lotus, Mercedes, Lexus.
Top-tier girls can be found in Lexus, Mercedes, Lotus, etc.
Top-tier girls often go by names like Lotus, Mercedes, Lexus.
sje46
+0 -0
I see what you did there.
I am extremely ignorant about cars though. A Lotus?
I see what you did there.
I am extremely ignorant about cars though. A Lotus?
farqussus
+0 -0
I think you are becoming my nemesis.
I think you are becoming my nemesis.
sje46
+0 -0
I get this feeling too. How come? Let's talk.
I get this feeling too. How come? Let's talk.
farqussus
+0 -0
Well you are either acting as a guy on the internet who really doesn't belong and you have the driest sense of humour I've ever encountered, and I can't recognise it in text, or you're dim and you have no sense of humour and are immensely frustrating.
Well you are either acting as a guy on the internet who really doesn't belong and you have the driest sense of humour I've ever encountered, and I can't recognise it in text, or you're dim and you have no sense of humour and are immensely frustrating.
sje46
+0 -0
That second one.
That second one.
sje46
+0 -0
Sorry. I misread that as three options.
I have a dry sense of humor that a lot of people don't get, especially in real life.
Sorry. I misread that as three options.
I have a dry sense of humor that a lot of people don't get, especially in real life.
farqussus
+0 -0
It's dry all right, like eczema dry. Im not sure where the whole 'I don't understand or know about anything and I'm offended by that which I do understand' would get laughs, but if that's your schtick, good for you. Run like the wind.
It's dry all right, like eczema dry. Im not sure where the whole 'I don't understand or know about anything and I'm offended by that which I do understand' would get laughs, but if that's your schtick, good for you. Run like the wind.
sje46
+0 -0
What is this "wind" you speak of?
I am only a naive five year old boy and need to be taught these things.
What is this "wind" you speak of?
I am only a naive five year old boy and need to be taught these things.
biff
+0 -0
I know you have the internet. You are posting online.
Use the damn thing. Go to www.google.com, or www.wikepedia.org, and type in "lotus." If you want to get there in fewer steps, type in "lotus automobile."
Really. Be bold and use the internet for its originally intended purpose.
I know you have the internet. You are posting online.
Use the damn thing. Go to www.google.com, or www.wikepedia.org, and type in "lotus." If you want to get there in fewer steps, type in "lotus automobile."
Really. Be bold and use the internet for its originally intended purpose.
aperson
+2 -0
What's internet? Haha I'm being sje46.
What's internet? Haha I'm being sje46.
sje46
+0 -0
OMG LOL ITS LIKE A MIRROR IMAGE.
*HUG*
OMG LOL ITS LIKE A MIRROR IMAGE.
*HUG*
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Aperson? Is that you? My, did you age poorly.
Aperson? Is that you? My, did you age poorly.
nice-on-water
+5 -0
Innernette is this crazy thing where you can buy pants and a CD with over 100 songs for rock AND country fans.
Innernette is this crazy thing where you can buy pants and a CD with over 100 songs for rock AND country fans.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
By Cinco.
By Cinco.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
;)
;)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
For your HEALTH.
For your HEALTH.
kamet
+0 -0
It's got what plants crave.
It's got what plants crave.
sje46
+1 -0
I actually did this right after I posted.
I actually did this right after I posted.
stereo
+0 -0
Have no fear, I enjoy your sense of humour and look forward to seeing more of it. Keep it up my man!
Have no fear, I enjoy your sense of humour and look forward to seeing more of it. Keep it up my man!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Seconded
Seconded
pogo
+0 -0
Turded
Turded
sje46
+0 -0
Yays! Thanks you guyses!
*hugs*
Yays! Thanks you guyses!
*hugs*
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Thumbs up, sje46. Thumbs right the fuck up.
Thumbs up, sje46. Thumbs right the fuck up.
speccer
+0 -0
I am the fifth person to express positive feelings toward this idea.
I am the fifth person to express positive feelings toward this idea.
whoisspain
+0 -0
Nuclear research?
Nuclear research?
morypcaina
+0 -0
This asherdan post currently has 1 chubby and 0 lames.
This asherdan post currently has 1 chubby and 0 lames.
drskradley
+0 -0
Seas are turning to blood, the moon is melting like wax. Nation rises against nation, brother against brother.
Seas are turning to blood, the moon is melting like wax. Nation rises against nation, brother against brother.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
tekende
+0 -0
DAMNIT I was going to say that
DAMNIT I was going to say that
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Then dickless here messed it all up
(please get reference and not think I'm a jerk...)
Then dickless here messed it all up
(please get reference and not think I'm a jerk...)
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
tekende
+0 -0
What the crap, echidnaboy
THIS SHIT WILL COME TO FISTICUFFS
What the crap, echidnaboy
THIS SHIT WILL COME TO FISTICUFFS
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, your honor, it's true. This man has no dick.
Yes, your honor, it's true. This man has no dick.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Can we explain what we are referencing?
Can we explain what we are referencing?
invidious
+5 -0
Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of cluelessness on Assetbar. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
(That's a big Twinkie.)
Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of cluelessness on Assetbar. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
(That's a big Twinkie.)
pogo
+0 -0
Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh god dammit.
Oh god dammit.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
God damn you.
God damn you.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
It's a late 80s/early 90s Cabriolet .
Apologies in advance for my BBCode.
It's a late 80s/early 90s Cabriolet .
Apologies in advance for my BBCode.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
IT WORKED! REJOICE!
IT WORKED! REJOICE!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
OK. I withdraw. He said it first.
OK. I withdraw. He said it first.
biff
+0 -0
Cabriolet just means convertible. It is a Rabbit Cabriolet.
Volkswagon was just being Elitist.
Cabriolet just means convertible. It is a Rabbit Cabriolet.
Volkswagon was just being Elitist.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
However, it was marketed as a "Cabriolet" with no mention of the Rabbit part. I know: My brother bought one in high school. (It was cute, and effective.)
However, it was marketed as a "Cabriolet" with no mention of the Rabbit part. I know: My brother bought one in high school. (It was cute, and effective.)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
High five! I want that car. Also I imagine a Saab 900 would work well here too.
High five! I want that car. Also I imagine a Saab 900 would work well here too.
morypcaina
+0 -0
That's the worst place.
That's the worst place.
esselfortium
+0 -0
Two stuffed bears and a *microphone*, you mean.
Two stuffed bears and a *microphone*, you mean.
aperson
+0 -0
It's where it's at.
It's where it's at.
meddle
+11 -0
Two stuffed bears in a rabbit? Talk about your lesser works of Christo.
Two stuffed bears in a rabbit? Talk about your lesser works of Christo.
invidious
+1 -0
I greatly fear this will not get the chubbies it deserves.
I greatly fear this will not get the chubbies it deserves.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I am here to right this wrong. (Partially.)
I am here to right this wrong. (Partially.)
hamscout
+4 -0
and my axe...
and my axe...
pogo
+0 -0
You lost me.
You lost me.
daidai
+0 -0
and my axe!
and my axe!
daidai
+0 -0
oh god damn you hamscout
oh god damn you hamscout
kamet
+4 -0
All my axes live in Texas.
All my axes live in Texas.
irondave
+0 -0
You are a terrible person.
Also, I wonder how much of this crowd will even get that reference.
You are a terrible person.
Also, I wonder how much of this crowd will even get that reference.
tekende
+0 -0
I get it. I used to listen to country music a lot. I like that song though.
I get it. I used to listen to country music a lot. I like that song though.
kickstart
+1 -0
that's why I hang my hatchet in Tennessee.
that's why I hang my hatchet in Tennessee.
sje46
+0 -0
I did because I used to play a lot of San Andreas.
I did because I used to play a lot of San Andreas.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
seconded.
IV is kind of lame. does it get better? (i've only barely opened up the Manhattan-esque (third?) island.) if not, i sort of want trade my ps2 copy of SA in for the xbox one so i can play it in 360 glory but if i did that all of the awesome cars i modded and have stashed all over the state would all be stuck on a rectangular piece of black plastic. (not cool.)
seconded.
IV is kind of lame. does it get better? (i've only barely opened up the Manhattan-esque (third?) island.) if not, i sort of want trade my ps2 copy of SA in for the xbox one so i can play it in 360 glory but if i did that all of the awesome cars i modded and have stashed all over the state would all be stuck on a rectangular piece of black plastic. (not cool.)
sje46
+0 -0
I'm not sure. My roommate has it, but I never play it, because I am not so much into video games anymore and he locks up the memory and games and controllers unless he's in the room.
I pretty much got to the second date, so, yeah . . . .
I'm not sure. My roommate has it, but I never play it, because I am not so much into video games anymore and he locks up the memory and games and controllers unless he's in the room.
I pretty much got to the second date, so, yeah . . . .
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I get it because I've divorced a lot of women
I get it because I've divorced a lot of women
pogo
+0 -0
Oh yeah, more than two?
Oh yeah, more than two?
speccer
+0 -0
He doesn't even bother to marry them first.
He doesn't even bother to marry them first.
hedonismbot
+4 -0
I ain't got time to marry a ho. Not with all these divorces I'm planning this week.
I ain't got time to marry a ho. Not with all these divorces I'm planning this week.
invidious
+0 -0
Best comment/avatar synergy EVER .
Best comment/avatar synergy EVER .
reverendtmac
+0 -0
I did, and I'd tell you how or why, but unfortunately, it happened down in Mexico.
I did, and I'd tell you how or why, but unfortunately, it happened down in Mexico.
pogo
+0 -0
I left my axe in Reno, just to watch her cry.
I left my axe in Reno, just to watch her cry.
sje46
+0 -0
You left an axe in Reno? Now I don't mean to pry.
You left an axe in Reno? Now I don't mean to pry.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
so he left his axe in Reno. leave the man alone.
so he left his axe in Reno. leave the man alone.
magreaux_dogg
+0 -0
Roast Beef's secret sex fantasy revealed!
Roast Beef's secret sex fantasy revealed!
breastman
+0 -0
A comment left by breastman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, aHatOfPig, anewcede)
A comment left by breastman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, aHatOfPig, anewcede)
prettyrad
+2 -0
There is actually a furniture shop I see on the way to school called "Sofa King Cheap". It might well be overshadowed by "Big Dick's Boardstore", about a mile down the road.
There is actually a furniture shop I see on the way to school called "Sofa King Cheap". It might well be overshadowed by "Big Dick's Boardstore", about a mile down the road.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -2
pic or gtfo.
pic or gtfo.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Yes, Beef, that's always the way.
5 for the spoon-nose and general word mastery.
Yes, Beef, that's always the way.
5 for the spoon-nose and general word mastery.
hikikomori
+0 -0
It pays to have word ability
It pays to have word ability
speccer
+0 -0
Way to vocabulary a situation, Beef.
Way to vocabulary a situation, Beef.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Before this comic I was going to say that it's kind of funny that the only one who ever gets laid in Achewood is the depressed guy, but it looks like Cornelius is going to get a little bitta bitta, too.
Before this comic I was going to say that it's kind of funny that the only one who ever gets laid in Achewood is the depressed guy, but it looks like Cornelius is going to get a little bitta bitta, too.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Ray gets laid. So does Pat. And Philippe, that one time. (Disputed.) Molly does, naturally. Todd does.
Basically, Teodor is bad with girls and your theory smells.
Ray gets laid. So does Pat. And Philippe, that one time. (Disputed.) Molly does, naturally. Todd does.
Basically, Teodor is bad with girls and your theory smells.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Ray does not get laid very often, the most recent being a case of getting his can rocked (arguable) under false pretenses. Phillipe, no. Molly, doesn't count, and Todd is a squirrel.
Ray does not get laid very often, the most recent being a case of getting his can rocked (arguable) under false pretenses. Phillipe, no. Molly, doesn't count, and Todd is a squirrel.
sje46
+0 -0
Molly doesn't count?
Molly doesn't count?
tripleg
+0 -0
why doesn't molly count? and what does being a squirrel have to do with anything?
why doesn't molly count? and what does being a squirrel have to do with anything?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Are you some kind of j-j-j-jerk or something?!
Are you some kind of j-j-j-jerk or something?!
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Molly obviously doesn't count because she is a woman.
Molly obviously doesn't count because she is a woman.
tripleg
+0 -0
do you think it is rad to have sexism, foetus_punch?
do you think it is rad to have sexism, foetus_punch?
sje46
+0 -0
Now, is the foetus the object or the subject of the punching?
Now, is the foetus the object or the subject of the punching?
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Both. The foetus is punching itself. AND I AM PUNCHING THE PREGNANT WOMAN WITH THE FOETUS INSIDE HER BECAUSE I HATE WOMEN.
Both. The foetus is punching itself. AND I AM PUNCHING THE PREGNANT WOMAN WITH THE FOETUS INSIDE HER BECAUSE I HATE WOMEN.
sje46
+1 -0
I love Cornelius's arms in the last panel.
I love Cornelius's arms in the last panel.
kamet
+1 -0
When the girl put the spoon on her nose, Cornelius knew that there was no denying it: that girl was his.
When the girl put the spoon on her nose, Cornelius knew that there was no denying it: that girl was his.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Kamet I knew you were havin my baby the first time you used cultural bin in a sentence.
It's all over but the plane tickets baby.
Kamet I knew you were havin my baby the first time you used cultural bin in a sentence.
It's all over but the plane tickets baby.
joestork
+1 -0
God this strip is utterly wonderful.
'Stad has turned into such a softy lately (haha just kidding guys: Onstad)
Seriously, all the characters just seem to have good things happen to them all the time. In some ways, Achewood is the most lighthearted strip since Family Circus.
*In some ways*
God this strip is utterly wonderful.
'Stad has turned into such a softy lately (haha just kidding guys: Onstad)
Seriously, all the characters just seem to have good things happen to them all the time. In some ways, Achewood is the most lighthearted strip since Family Circus.
*In some ways*
rowboat
+3 -0
Here's the part where I would make a photoshop picture of Beef's deformed little prostitute making it's roundabout way around the back yard, leaving little black dashes to show where all it had been.
If I even knew what the fuck photoshop was, I would do that.
Here's the part where I would make a photoshop picture of Beef's deformed little prostitute making it's roundabout way around the back yard, leaving little black dashes to show where all it had been.
If I even knew what the fuck photoshop was, I would do that.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Nah! You are forgetting how spooked Ray and Beef are going to be by Corny's "luck."
Nah! You are forgetting how spooked Ray and Beef are going to be by Corny's "luck."
mustakrakesh
+1 -0
Hey there's only one cash resister in this place.
Pass the certs.
Hey there's only one cash resister in this place.
Pass the certs.
belgand
+0 -0
Wow... I've never seen anyone else with that Japanese Col. Sanders avatar ever before. I thought I was the only one!
So this is what it feels like... when doves cry!
Wow... I've never seen anyone else with that Japanese Col. Sanders avatar ever before. I thought I was the only one!
So this is what it feels like... when doves cry!
senseihollywood
+0 -0
was just contemplating how the Japanese would pronounce "Colonel Sanders"
...I would gladly pay the sum of fifty dollars if one could arrange this tableau...
was just contemplating how the Japanese would pronounce "Colonel Sanders"
...I would gladly pay the sum of fifty dollars if one could arrange this tableau...
belgand
+0 -0
They would do it on Christmas.
They would do it on Christmas.
pogo
+0 -0
"Sandoo-san"
"Sandoo-san"
stereo
+8 -0
KORONARU SANDARUUUUUUU
KORONARU SANDARUUUUUUU
speccer
+0 -0
Kaarunu Sandarusu
A good friend of mine is an "otaku".
Kaarunu Sandarusu
A good friend of mine is an "otaku".
speccer
+0 -0
I should note that the "u" at the end of Sandarusu is nearly silent.
I should note that the "u" at the end of Sandarusu is nearly silent.
syx
+0 -0
They usually get by with long "ah" sounds in these situations, so I'm guessing it would be more along the lines of Kaanuru Sandasu, with the ending U still being nearly silent.
They usually get by with long "ah" sounds in these situations, so I'm guessing it would be more along the lines of Kaanuru Sandasu, with the ending U still being nearly silent.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That's odd, because I thought it would romanize as something like Kouronu Sandaarusu.
I'm still in my first year of Japanese at university, though. No biggie.
That's odd, because I thought it would romanize as something like Kouronu Sandaarusu.
I'm still in my first year of Japanese at university, though. No biggie.
tekende
+0 -0
I tried to take Japanese in college. I was lost after the very first day and promptly dropped the class.
I tried to take Japanese in college. I was lost after the very first day and promptly dropped the class.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The only person to have dropped in our class so far is a friend of mine. Which I find depressing, as she's one of the smartest people I know.
The only person to have dropped in our class so far is a friend of mine. Which I find depressing, as she's one of the smartest people I know.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
is the rest of your class full up of large otaku or did she realize she wanted to become a dentist? (W2BaD?)
is the rest of your class full up of large otaku or did she realize she wanted to become a dentist? (W2BaD?)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Even the hot girls in my class are otaku. The non-otaku are in the vast minority, as are the unattractive.
It is a good class, and honourable.
Even the hot girls in my class are otaku. The non-otaku are in the vast minority, as are the unattractive.
It is a good class, and honourable.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Kaaneru Sandaasu . Last. Word.
Kaaneru Sandaasu . Last. Word.
whoisspain
+4 -0
"This is the end of the first tape of Berlitz Japanese-American Snack Foods. Please insert the second tape to continue on to the McDonald's section."
"This is the end of the first tape of Berlitz Japanese-American Snack Foods. Please insert the second tape to continue on to the McDonald's section."
parkman47
+1 -0
anyone else bothered by chris using "a old fashioned"
anyone else bothered by chris using "a old fashioned"
belgand
+0 -0
Deeply.
Deeply.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I was, briefly. But then I was thinking that, very possibly, that could just be how Ray would say it.
I will stick with that, because it will make me happier.
I was, briefly. But then I was thinking that, very possibly, that could just be how Ray would say it.
I will stick with that, because it will make me happier.
syx
+0 -0
Sure, it's not proper, but Ray is saying this phrase in a strip club where it is not likely anyone will notice that what he said was incorrect. He's about to get his drink on; 'superfluous' Ns are not needed at this time.
Sure, it's not proper, but Ray is saying this phrase in a strip club where it is not likely anyone will notice that what he said was incorrect. He's about to get his drink on; 'superfluous' Ns are not needed at this time.
gormster
+0 -0
But it's harder to say "a old fashioned" than "an old fashioned". It's the whole reason we add the n.
But it's harder to say "a old fashioned" than "an old fashioned". It's the whole reason we add the n.
mfrance
+0 -0
It sort of depends on how you have your inner ear hear it. Sure if you break it up like "uh old fashioned" it sounds pretty robotic, but I think it's pretty reasonable to assume Ray is pronouncing it "ay old fashioned" - which sounds pretty natural.
It sort of depends on how you have your inner ear hear it. Sure if you break it up like "uh old fashioned" it sounds pretty robotic, but I think it's pretty reasonable to assume Ray is pronouncing it "ay old fashioned" - which sounds pretty natural.
tripleg
+0 -0
i kind of hear it as "uh old fashioned;" it kind of fits ray's jive patois
i kind of hear it as "uh old fashioned;" it kind of fits ray's jive patois
mattylite
+11 -1
Panel 5 remindin' anyone else of this?
Panel 5 remindin' anyone else of this?
autrepoupee
+6 -0
How out of touch with my generation am I, that the first thing I thought of was Bittersweet Samba .
How out of touch with my generation am I, that the first thing I thought of was Bittersweet Samba .
rowboat
+0 -0
God bless you for that.
God bless you for that.
mattylite
+0 -0
That is the single greatest thing I've ever seen, EVER.
That is the single greatest thing I've ever seen, EVER.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
The first thing I thought of was Cameron sitting at the bottom of the pool in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Herb Alpert is definitely cooler.
The first thing I thought of was Cameron sitting at the bottom of the pool in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Herb Alpert is definitely cooler.
hamscout
+2 -0
My first thought (reinforced by the Tijuana miracle above) was this bar fight:
You even have the "dead behind the eyes" floozy!
My first thought (reinforced by the Tijuana miracle above) was this bar fight:
You even have the "dead behind the eyes" floozy!
sje46
+0 -0
This is the only John Hughes film that I like (that I know of).
This is the only John Hughes film that I like (that I know of).
irondave
+0 -0
Autre, you are wise and fantastic far beyond your years.
Autre, you are wise and fantastic far beyond your years.
mattylite
+0 -0
Wow I just spent like an hour watching scopitones. They are the greatest. Thank you.
Wow I just spent like an hour watching scopitones. They are the greatest. Thank you.
em2
+0 -0
I like how they looped the relatively short song (1:44 on the record) to fit the movie. Brilliant little short film.
I like how they looped the relatively short song (1:44 on the record) to fit the movie. Brilliant little short film.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
That was awesome in so many ways. Thank you.
That was awesome in so many ways. Thank you.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That would only work for me if he was floating in whipped cream/shaving cream.
That would only work for me if he was floating in whipped cream/shaving cream.
belgand
+0 -0
Even better is that none of those retro-sexy ladies would give you The AIDS.
Even better is that none of those retro-sexy ladies would give you The AIDS.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Hello darkness, my old friend...I've come to talk with you again...
The Graduate, not Old School.
Hello darkness, my old friend...I've come to talk with you again...
The Graduate, not Old School.
overman
+0 -0
And another one bites the dust.
And another one bites the dust.
pogo
+0 -0
Cool iconatar.
Cool iconatar.
tragicone
+0 -0
So, what? Connie has fallen in love with the stripper, who in turn has become freed by the old boy.
That is respectable.
So, what? Connie has fallen in love with the stripper, who in turn has become freed by the old boy.
That is respectable.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
He's not the only one to fall in love in such a manner:
such luminaries as Twista, Pimp C, Paul Wall, MJG, and Too Short have found themselves in the same straits.
According to legend, R. Kelly went so far as to fall in love with an ass.
Oft foretold, he got down on one knee, and asked that ass to marry he.
He's not the only one to fall in love in such a manner:
such luminaries as Twista, Pimp C, Paul Wall, MJG, and Too Short have found themselves in the same straits.
According to legend, R. Kelly went so far as to fall in love with an ass.
Oft foretold, he got down on one knee, and asked that ass to marry he.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Do I date myself if I'm reminded of Fontine and Heimat?
Do I date myself if I'm reminded of Fontine and Heimat?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Do I date myself if I'm using KY jelly - alone?
Do I date myself if I'm using KY jelly - alone?
tekende
+0 -0
Depends on whether dinner and a movie are involved, I'd think.
Depends on whether dinner and a movie are involved, I'd think.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
>Sigh.<
>Sigh.<
tragicone
+0 -0
Autre, i think if we got together for dinner, that would be fine by me.
Autre, i think if we got together for dinner, that would be fine by me.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
from there, we can discuss further works of the Prophet T-Pain. Praise be to Konvict!
from there, we can discuss further works of the Prophet T-Pain. Praise be to Konvict!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
and the Acolyte Akon! May thy look behind thyself in the club, and see nary but one set of footprints uponce the dance floor; ay, for that is the time whereupon Akon carried thee.
and the Acolyte Akon! May thy look behind thyself in the club, and see nary but one set of footprints uponce the dance floor; ay, for that is the time whereupon Akon carried thee.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I'm disappointed in Kanye West because he plans to use Auto-Tone in his next album. It's like he listened to T-Pain and went "OOH SHINY." I think the man has basically not grown up past his teenage sensibilities, due to the fact that he has limited horizons partially due to not going to college, and his vast amount of critical and financial success basically giving a mandate to his "DO WANT!" personality. His music is enjoyable but I think he could do with going to a workshop/internship/boot camp with Nas.
I'm disappointed in Kanye West because he plans to use Auto-Tone in his next album. It's like he listened to T-Pain and went "OOH SHINY." I think the man has basically not grown up past his teenage sensibilities, due to the fact that he has limited horizons partially due to not going to college, and his vast amount of critical and financial success basically giving a mandate to his "DO WANT!" personality. His music is enjoyable but I think he could do with going to a workshop/internship/boot camp with Nas.
tragicone
+0 -0
I was being dead serious.
But a play on ideas is fine to.
I was being dead serious.
But a play on ideas is fine to.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Though I wish them all the best, many of those girls do not desire to be "freed".
Cleave unto her, Cornelius, and treat her well!
Though I wish them all the best, many of those girls do not desire to be "freed".
Cleave unto her, Cornelius, and treat her well!
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, prettyrad, Davey-Boy)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, prettyrad, Davey-Boy)
davey-boy
+0 -0
A comment left by davey-boy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by speccer, morypcaina, Doc_Rostov, especial)
A comment left by davey-boy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by speccer, morypcaina, Doc_Rostov, especial)
farqussus
+0 -0
Assbar just cut off your limbs and sewed them back on your corpse in the wrong places.
Assbar just cut off your limbs and sewed them back on your corpse in the wrong places.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
. period: denotes the end.
to my sentence i append
it's singular use.
the paragraph forms: it grows.
the time for the periods arose.
it's not its cage it's on the loose.
a little poem about grammar. i been so busy.
also, watch your peis and cues, d to the b. you're dealing with the darkest wooled of all the black sheep. do check thine form on the fore or forevermore will you be lamed to Hell.
. period: denotes the end.
to my sentence i append
it's singular use.
the paragraph forms: it grows.
the time for the periods arose.
it's not its cage it's on the loose.
a little poem about grammar. i been so busy.
also, watch your peis and cues, d to the b. you're dealing with the darkest wooled of all the black sheep. do check thine form on the fore or forevermore will you be lamed to Hell.
speccer
+0 -0
its singular use.
That kind of stuff is important in poems about grammar.
its singular use.
That kind of stuff is important in poems about grammar.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
crap. i totally dropped the ball on that one.
crap. i totally dropped the ball on that one.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, you can't trust those islanders.
Yeah, you can't trust those islanders.
meddle
+0 -0
You Samoans are all the same: no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture.
You Samoans are all the same: no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
A Harvey Wallbanger... Ray has proven himself to be a man of class.
1 shot Vodka
1 Cup Orange juice.
Stir, pour over ice in a highball.
Float 1 shot of Galliano on top, DO NOT STIR
garnish with slice of orange and a marishino cherry.
This drink makes your whole body feel like good times.
A Harvey Wallbanger... Ray has proven himself to be a man of class.
1 shot Vodka
1 Cup Orange juice.
Stir, pour over ice in a highball.
Float 1 shot of Galliano on top, DO NOT STIR
garnish with slice of orange and a marishino cherry.
This drink makes your whole body feel like good times.
tripleg
+0 -2
oh snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
oh snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
pogo
+0 -0
87 posts already, eh? Rats!
Well anyway, I am overjoyed that someone my age got some action, even if he is a stuffed bear.
87 posts already, eh? Rats!
Well anyway, I am overjoyed that someone my age got some action, even if he is a stuffed bear.
alaska
+0 -2
I had to show all ya'll Rays new porn clip... he watches this shit endlessly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HaC7CJHYsA
I had to show all ya'll Rays new porn clip... he watches this shit endlessly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HaC7CJHYsA
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The best thing about this video is that it started after the song ended.
The best thing about this video is that it started after the song ended.
ortsac
+0 -0
Is this the youtube link from the front page earlier?
Is this the youtube link from the front page earlier?
sallen
+0 -0
Fuck all'yall, Corney's chubby just left the parking lot.
Fuck all'yall, Corney's chubby just left the parking lot.
subrosian
+2 -0
Yesterday I wrote this prediction (feel free to check up on it):
At the tender age of 21 I rescued from my friend's pool house a crow of appreciable durability. Attacked by the pair of guard dogs it had the audacity to continue living. My attempts to nurse it back to health came across its surprising diet - the beast refused to dine on anything other than Wendy's Brand Processed Chicken Nuggets. It devoured such meat with relish, and within the day was escaping its confinement.
By noon of the following there was no containing it the bird, dubbed Cornelius, simply refused to respect conventional wisdom, or several of the Laws of Medicine. Veterinary science could find no cure - we were forced to send it back to the wild, were it is presumably king of the crows, and may possibly lead to the Downfall of Man.
Connie here is a king amongst men - defying the wisdom of his years to bask in the illusion of being sought. And yet, though this stripper has come to him seeking money, she will leave longing for the intangible aura of mastery that surrounds the man. And Connie will turn her down - for one brief moment she will stand with a man who has accepted the vices of the world, yet feel no guilt for them.
-
So Cornelius has turned this woman to him, he has driven here to feel genuine feeling for him. And yet... where is the rejection of this creature? Ah! For I have done the man's character an unfair task. Cornelius does not care of this woman's career, nor her past - he is a man of an age where such petty judgments are behind him. Good show Connie, good show, a gentlemen cares only for the lady - and Connie is of an age where such jealousy or senseless naming is pointless.
-
Cornelius has so much class that he can date a prostitute, and she is a Fine Lady
Yesterday I wrote this prediction (feel free to check up on it):
At the tender age of 21 I rescued from my friend's pool house a crow of appreciable durability. Attacked by the pair of guard dogs it had the audacity to continue living. My attempts to nurse it back to health came across its surprising diet - the beast refused to dine on anything other than Wendy's Brand Processed Chicken Nuggets. It devoured such meat with relish, and within the day was escaping its confinement.
By noon of the following there was no containing it the bird, dubbed Cornelius, simply refused to respect conventional wisdom, or several of the Laws of Medicine. Veterinary science could find no cure - we were forced to send it back to the wild, were it is presumably king of the crows, and may possibly lead to the Downfall of Man.
Connie here is a king amongst men - defying the wisdom of his years to bask in the illusion of being sought. And yet, though this stripper has come to him seeking money, she will leave longing for the intangible aura of mastery that surrounds the man. And Connie will turn her down - for one brief moment she will stand with a man who has accepted the vices of the world, yet feel no guilt for them.
-
So Cornelius has turned this woman to him, he has driven here to feel genuine feeling for him. And yet... where is the rejection of this creature? Ah! For I have done the man's character an unfair task. Cornelius does not care of this woman's career, nor her past - he is a man of an age where such petty judgments are behind him. Good show Connie, good show, a gentlemen cares only for the lady - and Connie is of an age where such jealousy or senseless naming is pointless.
-
Cornelius has so much class that he can date a prostitute, and she is a Fine Lady
wozzeck
+0 -0
I would have been eager to chubby this, subrosian, but then you blew it. You blew it.
I would have been eager to chubby this, subrosian, but then you blew it. You blew it.
falseprophet
+3 -0
Cornelius is a cosmopolitan in that elegant, classical way. Just before he met Iris Gambol his great love was a half-Japanese geisha who turned out to be a spy for the Germans.
There is no face more satisfying to come on than that of a half-Japanese Nazi.
Cornelius is a cosmopolitan in that elegant, classical way. Just before he met Iris Gambol his great love was a half-Japanese geisha who turned out to be a spy for the Germans.
There is no face more satisfying to come on than that of a half-Japanese Nazi.
kickstart
+0 -0
God damn those half-Japanese Nazis
God damn those half-Japanese Nazis
tripleg
+0 -0
they do it to me ever-y time
they do it to me ever-y time
hamscout
+0 -0
ohhh the skinhead said you'd shred Benito...
ohhh the skinhead said you'd shred Benito...
actualtaunt
+6 -0
And I'm Franco BAY BEE
But Jews won't talk won't loan won't work for me
they're the epitome of public enemy
Why you wanna invade me like that?
Come down on the street and lieber me!
I'm SS for you so please
Seig Heil, I'm here, I'm Waiting
I think I'd be Gutt for you
Won't you be Gutt for me?
I asked you to go to the Potsdam Conference
you said you'd never bow to them.
I met Anne Frank,
so I went to here room, And read her diary:
"watching Hess goose step Jew-hack through a time table..."
Then my heart stopped: "Listening to Truman San
dropped the bomb all over again"
I'm SS for you so please
Seig Heil, I'm here, I'm Waiting
I think I'd be Gutt for you
Won't you be Gutt for me?
And I'm Franco BAY BEE
But Jews won't talk won't loan won't work for me
they're the epitome of public enemy
Why you wanna invade me like that?
Come down on the street and lieber me!
I'm SS for you so please
Seig Heil, I'm here, I'm Waiting
I think I'd be Gutt for you
Won't you be Gutt for me?
I asked you to go to the Potsdam Conference
you said you'd never bow to them.
I met Anne Frank,
so I went to here room, And read her diary:
"watching Hess goose step Jew-hack through a time table..."
Then my heart stopped: "Listening to Truman San
dropped the bomb all over again"
I'm SS for you so please
Seig Heil, I'm here, I'm Waiting
I think I'd be Gutt for you
Won't you be Gutt for me?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Does Godwin's law apply to song parody?
Does Godwin's law apply to song parody?
hamscout
+0 -0
You know who else parodied laws?? Hitler!!
You know who else parodied laws?? Hitler!!
actualtaunt
+6 -0
Wait... that's political humor!
Wait... that's political humor!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I'm such a fraud.
This is so empty.
I'm such a fraud.
This is so empty.
tripleg
+0 -0
i don't know whether to chubby in recognition of your brilliance or cringe in sheer horror.
i don't know whether to chubby in recognition of your brilliance or cringe in sheer horror.
qingofchina
+0 -0
I don't like FUCKING beer!
I don't like FUCKING beer!
tekende
+0 -0
Well, no, you need something with at least SOME properties of a solid. Jell-O or something.
Well, no, you need something with at least SOME properties of a solid. Jell-O or something.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I've had some good luck with Guinness, but it certainly is in the minority
I've had some good luck with Guinness, but it certainly is in the minority
kickstart
+0 -0
Organic Irish Car Bombs?
Organic Irish Car Bombs?
hifihero
+0 -0
I would think the widget might tickle.
I would think the widget might tickle.
chelseadagger
+0 -0
Do I spy a subtle Phineas Gage reference in Panel 8?
Do I spy a subtle Phineas Gage reference in Panel 8?
boredom_man
+1 -0
I'd better get out of here before I name a mod band "Subtle Phineas Gage."
I'd better get out of here before I name a mod band "Subtle Phineas Gage."
sje46
+0 -0
Wow. I didn't even notice that.
Wow. I didn't even notice that.
especial
+0 -0
That's so interesting, because after everything I've learned about Phineas Gage, no one ever told me he had a chainsaw for a right hand .
That's so interesting, because after everything I've learned about Phineas Gage, no one ever told me he had a chainsaw for a right hand .
sheriff_mittens
+2 -0
Phineas Gage had:
* A chainsaw for a right hand
* A battle ax for a left hand
* A shark for a leg
* One of those doodads that has spikes and chomps down on your foot when you step in it for teeth
* A bomb for a head
* A meat grinder for a belly-button
* A pocketful of posey
* A fuckin huge wang
Phineas Gage had:
* A chainsaw for a right hand
* A battle ax for a left hand
* A shark for a leg
* One of those doodads that has spikes and chomps down on your foot when you step in it for teeth
* A bomb for a head
* A meat grinder for a belly-button
* A pocketful of posey
* A fuckin huge wang
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
a huge fuckin-wang.
a huge fuckin-wang.
possums
+1 -0
Woah man retarded
I fell out of my chair
Woah man retarded
I fell out of my chair
possums
+0 -0
laughing, that is
laughing, that is
johnthermos
+3 -0
I feel my avatar is relevant to this strip.
I feel my avatar is relevant to this strip.
kamet
+2 -0
sje46
+0 -0
Is that the movie with the mafia or am I thinking of something else.
Is that the movie with the mafia or am I thinking of something else.
wotown
+0 -0
Oh my god you doin' it up hell of Men at Work style from the DAY !
...
This movie was the absolute bomb when I was like 13.
Oh my god you doin' it up hell of Men at Work style from the DAY !
...
This movie was the absolute bomb when I was like 13.
tragicone
+0 -0
dude, it is still pretty good now.
dude, it is still pretty good now.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
EMILIOOOOOOOOOOO
EMILIOOOOOOOOOOO
subrosian
+0 -0
Bullet holes?
Roast Beef's assessment may prove incorrect, the boyfriend appears to prefer range combat over the tactile pleasures of chainsaw mutilation.
Bullet holes?
Roast Beef's assessment may prove incorrect, the boyfriend appears to prefer range combat over the tactile pleasures of chainsaw mutilation.
sje46
+8 -0
These are speed holes. They make the car go faster.
These are speed holes. They make the car go faster.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My lord it is truly excellent to see a member of the next generation so well versed in the true faith
My lord it is truly excellent to see a member of the next generation so well versed in the true faith
sje46
+0 -0
I grew up on the Simpsons. I used to watch it three times a day.
I haven't seen it in a while though.
I grew up on the Simpsons. I used to watch it three times a day.
I haven't seen it in a while though.
irondave
+0 -0
On the passenger side door: A Mary Kay decal?
On the passenger side door: A Mary Kay decal?
clmalone84
+0 -0
Nothing clever to say. Just dig the strip. Yay Connie!!!
Nothing clever to say. Just dig the strip. Yay Connie!!!
fathington
+0 -0
I payed for that in a dream once, then she grew another eyebrow and flew away.
I payed for that in a dream once, then she grew another eyebrow and flew away.
gumption
+0 -0
Yay! Go Mr. Bear!
Yay! Go Mr. Bear!
soupkaty
+0 -0
So today's strip, or at least the first bit of it, rings particularly relevant to my day.
Today (well, yesterday now) was my 21st birthday.
As a now legal drinker, what do you guys think my first legally ordered cocktail should be?
So today's strip, or at least the first bit of it, rings particularly relevant to my day.
Today (well, yesterday now) was my 21st birthday.
As a now legal drinker, what do you guys think my first legally ordered cocktail should be?
sje46
+1 -0
Molotov.
Molotov.
kamet
+0 -0
Double Amaretto Sour- extra cherries.
Double Amaretto Sour- extra cherries.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
with a cock-ring floater
with a cock-ring floater
pogo
+0 -0
Vodka gimlet, very posh. And Happy birthday.
Vodka gimlet, very posh. And Happy birthday.
irondave
+0 -0
Manhattan. A big one.
Manhattan. A big one.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Congrats, and ring it in with class. Get a sidecar. It's a very fine, very old-school cocktail. Enough flavor to impress the girls, enough punch to make you a man. It's almost the only mixed drink I get anymore
Congrats, and ring it in with class. Get a sidecar. It's a very fine, very old-school cocktail. Enough flavor to impress the girls, enough punch to make you a man. It's almost the only mixed drink I get anymore
davey-boy
+0 -0
The Drink of Tomorrow, hold the Blue Curacao.
The Drink of Tomorrow, hold the Blue Curacao.
especial
+0 -0
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if Blue Curacao was a thing I could kill, I would kill it.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if Blue Curacao was a thing I could kill, I would kill it.
tekende
+0 -0
White Russian.
Happy birthday!
White Russian.
Happy birthday!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Whiskey sour. Classic, and classy.
Whiskey sour. Classic, and classy.
gormster
+0 -0
It should be one with a remarkable garnish.
It should be one with a remarkable garnish.
reverendtmac
+0 -0
Tanq Ten martini, up with a twist of lime. Rusty Nail wouldn't be bad either.
Tanq Ten martini, up with a twist of lime. Rusty Nail wouldn't be bad either.
handheld
+0 -0
Cornelius all waxin' his game. Who doubted him, seriously? I want names!!
Cornelius all waxin' his game. Who doubted him, seriously? I want names!!
heccibiggs
+2 -0
Um hi guys it is my birthday today.
BE NICE SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT ME.
WALLOW IN YOUR CHERISHES.
Um hi guys it is my birthday today.
BE NICE SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT ME.
WALLOW IN YOUR CHERISHES.
sje46
+0 -1
You are so awesome!
I've always really liked you and the way you brighten my day every day no matter what!
I hope you have a fantastic birthday with lots of cake!
:)
You are so awesome!
I've always really liked you and the way you brighten my day every day no matter what!
I hope you have a fantastic birthday with lots of cake!
:)
heccibiggs
+0 -0
A perfect example of what I wanted.
THANKS.
A perfect example of what I wanted.
THANKS.
i_love_kate
+4 -0
Happy birthday, Wedge. Enjoy this topical rap!
Happy bizzle to ya, young miss Higgs.
Go tear it up in yo' birthday digs!
I ain't tryin' to flatter youse when I say
You're the best Assetbarista by a long, long way.
And don't be frettin' bout the big 20
'Cause in terms of fans, well, you've still got plenty!
I hope you don't make too much vomiting.
Happy birthday, Wedge. Enjoy this topical rap!
Happy bizzle to ya, young miss Higgs.
Go tear it up in yo' birthday digs!
I ain't tryin' to flatter youse when I say
You're the best Assetbarista by a long, long way.
And don't be frettin' bout the big 20
'Cause in terms of fans, well, you've still got plenty!
I hope you don't make too much vomiting.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
This is the best thing that ever happened, ever. Not just to me.
This is the best thing that ever happened, ever. Not just to me.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oshkosh. It ain't no thing.
Oshkosh. It ain't no thing.
sje46
+0 -0
. . .. jerk.
. . .. jerk.
perilon
+0 -0
I spent like six whole seconds wondering how "two-zero" rhymes with "plenty." I deserve to be real-life lamed, like have my nose broken or something.
Happy birthday! You're not only a year older, you're a year smarter. Enjoy that while it lasts; obviously 22 is already on the long senescent slide to senility.
I spent like six whole seconds wondering how "two-zero" rhymes with "plenty." I deserve to be real-life lamed, like have my nose broken or something.
Happy birthday! You're not only a year older, you're a year smarter. Enjoy that while it lasts; obviously 22 is already on the long senescent slide to senility.
falseprophet
+0 -0
See, pretty much the same thing happened to me because nobody ever says "The Big Twenty," they say, "The Big Two Oh."
So it's not your fault. It's the poem that's wrong.
See, pretty much the same thing happened to me because nobody ever says "The Big Twenty," they say, "The Big Two Oh."
So it's not your fault. It's the poem that's wrong.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I am this close to throwing an artist's hissy fit.
This close.
I am this close to throwing an artist's hissy fit.
This close.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Don't worry, I got it straight away. And that's all that matters.
Don't worry, I got it straight away. And that's all that matters.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Woooo mine too! Happy birthday us!
CHERISH US. NOW.
Woooo mine too! Happy birthday us!
CHERISH US. NOW.
stereo
+0 -0
MMMMmnnffffff..mmmmfff.... you like that baby?
MMMMmnnffffff..mmmmfff.... you like that baby?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What the fuck is it everyone's birthday today?!
What the fuck is it everyone's birthday today?!
gormster
+0 -0
Man everyone on Assetbar ignored my birthday. I guess that is what I get for not making enough laffy fotoshops.
Man everyone on Assetbar ignored my birthday. I guess that is what I get for not making enough laffy fotoshops.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
awww that just sounds so blue;
the happiest of happy birthdays to YOU,
gormster!
--ee cummings
awww that just sounds so blue;
the happiest of happy birthdays to YOU,
gormster!
--ee cummings
gormster
+0 -0
oh my god i feel so special !
oh my god i feel so special !
farqussus
+0 -0
too much punctuation!
too much punctuation!
redphillip
+0 -0
There's this huge bubble of birthdays that that fall in autumn. It derives from Holiday Sex (i.e., Here's your Christmas present, honey; drunken New Year's celebrations; and being stuck in the house in the winter months with little but porking for entertainment. Stands to reason there are lots of shared birthdays 'round about now.
There's this huge bubble of birthdays that that fall in autumn. It derives from Holiday Sex (i.e., Here's your Christmas present, honey; drunken New Year's celebrations; and being stuck in the house in the winter months with little but porking for entertainment. Stands to reason there are lots of shared birthdays 'round about now.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
You didn't close brackets :(
And yeah maybe... Although until recently I knew hardly anyone born in October. More November (totally conceived on V-Day).
You didn't close brackets :(
And yeah maybe... Although until recently I knew hardly anyone born in October. More November (totally conceived on V-Day).
redphillip
+1 -0
[...belated close paren] Bad dog! Bad dog!
As a September child, fellow Septemberists were thick on the ground, with a thinner following of Octoberists. The calendrical details of human breeding may have changed in the decades since I cared about my age cohort's birthday coincidences.
[All I seem to care about these days is getting you young people to a) get off my lawn, b) turn down that noise, and c) get away from the mouth of my cave. Unless you're that nice boy from down the block who comes by for tutoring for his entrance exams.]
[...belated close paren] Bad dog! Bad dog!
As a September child, fellow Septemberists were thick on the ground, with a thinner following of Octoberists. The calendrical details of human breeding may have changed in the decades since I cared about my age cohort's birthday coincidences.
[All I seem to care about these days is getting you young people to a) get off my lawn, b) turn down that noise, and c) get away from the mouth of my cave. Unless you're that nice boy from down the block who comes by for tutoring for his entrance exams.]
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Nice work down there, Stereo. Can I get you a soda or anything?
Nice work down there, Stereo. Can I get you a soda or anything?
pogo
+0 -0
You I don't believe, vis a vis the birthday thing.
You I don't believe, vis a vis the birthday thing.
echidnaboy
+2 -0
Man, I don't give a crap if you believe it's my birthday but I will be God Damned if I stand here and let you call me a liar. Retract, Pogo. Retract. My mother and father raised me to respect my elders but so help me God I will break your face.
Man, I don't give a crap if you believe it's my birthday but I will be God Damned if I stand here and let you call me a liar. Retract, Pogo. Retract. My mother and father raised me to respect my elders but so help me God I will break your face.
baryonyx
+0 -0
KNUCKLES PLEASE DO NOT GET VIOLENT OH GOD-
KNUCKLES PLEASE DO NOT GET VIOLENT OH GOD-
autrepoupee
+0 -0
happy birthday, Knuckles! Sega really fucked you over, you haven't been in anything really awesome since like, the first time you were in a game. Since then you've just been the sort of sullen background character, the guy-standing-behind-Cagney to Sonic's Lacy.
Godspeed you, birthday echidna! To futures bright and clear!
happy birthday, Knuckles! Sega really fucked you over, you haven't been in anything really awesome since like, the first time you were in a game. Since then you've just been the sort of sullen background character, the guy-standing-behind-Cagney to Sonic's Lacy.
Godspeed you, birthday echidna! To futures bright and clear!
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Oh, I quite agree. I haven't really followed his career since 1994. I don't think his heart's really in it any more: he just turns up, says his lines and collects the paycheck.
P.S. thanks for being the only person who believes me :(
Oh, I quite agree. I haven't really followed his career since 1994. I don't think his heart's really in it any more: he just turns up, says his lines and collects the paycheck.
P.S. thanks for being the only person who believes me :(
morypcaina
+0 -0
SHAA!
SHAA!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Hey gang just an fyi my birthday is December 3rd
I'm trying to give you all enough time to plan a big surprise comment section, and give myself enough time to forget that I am going to be surprised, okay?
Okay!
Hey gang just an fyi my birthday is December 3rd
I'm trying to give you all enough time to plan a big surprise comment section, and give myself enough time to forget that I am going to be surprised, okay?
Okay!
gormster
+0 -0
I am making a note in my iCal.
I am making a note in my iCal.
tragicone
+0 -0
Well mine is may 27th.
Well mine is may 27th.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Hey tragicone. I have the same birthday as you.
Maybe you and me is amigos?
Hey tragicone. I have the same birthday as you.
Maybe you and me is amigos?
tragicone
+0 -0
yes, MAYhaps we are.
How do you like being a Gemini?
yes, MAYhaps we are.
How do you like being a Gemini?
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Plenty. My erect posture and philosophical mind are truly a wonder to behold. Yourself?
Plenty. My erect posture and philosophical mind are truly a wonder to behold. Yourself?
tragicone
+0 -0
I believe my posture could be better, but i do have a great deal of duality to my personality.
I believe my posture could be better, but i do have a great deal of duality to my personality.
tragicone
+0 -0
but seriously, my body is that of a tauros. Nmsayin?
but seriously, my body is that of a tauros. Nmsayin?
puguglypress
+0 -0
This implies that you people make friends for trivial reasons
This implies that you people make friends for trivial reasons
perilon
+0 -0
Well personally I plan on reciting "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may" and hoping you remember that I'm doing so.
Well personally I plan on reciting "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may" and hoping you remember that I'm doing so.
sje46
+0 -0
Assetbar needs a PM system.
[My birthday is March 4th. If I say that it's my birthday on a day that isn't March 4th, I'm lying. Now forget you saw this comment.]
Assetbar needs a PM system.
[My birthday is March 4th. If I say that it's my birthday on a day that isn't March 4th, I'm lying. Now forget you saw this comment.]
catgrl131
+0 -0
What comment?
What comment?
tragicone
+0 -0
happy belated birthday. Sorry i been busy my love.
happy belated birthday. Sorry i been busy my love.
pogo
+0 -0
Hmm, so you and Soupkaty are cosmic twins. Makes sense, you both ended up here, or all the gin joints in the world. Happy Day.
Hmm, so you and Soupkaty are cosmic twins. Makes sense, you both ended up here, or all the gin joints in the world. Happy Day.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh my goodness I did not even read that. There she is just a couple of comments ahead of me, and then I come in stealing thunder left right and centre. What a bitch.
Also our birthdays are not on the same day, though.
Oh my goodness I did not even read that. There she is just a couple of comments ahead of me, and then I come in stealing thunder left right and centre. What a bitch.
Also our birthdays are not on the same day, though.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
That's right, isn't it like, Tuesday in Britannia already?
That's right, isn't it like, Tuesday in Britannia already?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That is how it works. Can I send you anything from the future?
That is how it works. Can I send you anything from the future?
pogo
+0 -0
How about your axe?
How about your axe?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
How about THESE KNIVES?
How about THESE KNIVES?
kamet
+0 -0
These knives have seen a lot of love, but they're never gonna see another woman like I had in you.
These knives have seen a lot of love, but they're never gonna see another woman like I had in you.
tekende
+0 -0
You too? Happy birthday!
You too? Happy birthday!
autrepoupee
+3 -0
Happy Birthday, heccibiggs! I didn't know they celebrated those in England. What do you call a birthday there? A lolly water-lift? I hope so.
Happy birthday on the real, from AMERICA'S HEARTLAND
Happy Birthday, heccibiggs! I didn't know they celebrated those in England. What do you call a birthday there? A lolly water-lift? I hope so.
Happy birthday on the real, from AMERICA'S HEARTLAND
farqussus
+0 -0
CHERISH
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Late but heartfelt: Have a great 21st year and wash your hand before you apply it to your face, OK.
Late but heartfelt: Have a great 21st year and wash your hand before you apply it to your face, OK.
zeal
+1 -0
What did they expect? They brought the winner of the Badass Games to a strip club, and they thought they'd need to subsidize his time with the ladies?
What did they expect? They brought the winner of the Badass Games to a strip club, and they thought they'd need to subsidize his time with the ladies?
genocidefish
+0 -0
That Cornelius is one smooth operator. Out the door faster than you can say "chlamydia". Nice.
That Cornelius is one smooth operator. Out the door faster than you can say "chlamydia". Nice.
sje46
+0 -2
That's a nice word! Very euphonic!
What does it mean?
That's a nice word! Very euphonic!
What does it mean?
pogo
+0 -0
It's a sexually transmitted disease.
It's a sexually transmitted disease.
pogo
+0 -0
No, I haven't had it!
No, I haven't had it!
sje46
+0 -0
You did have the plague though, right?
You did have the plague though, right?
sje46
+0 -1
[It's funny 'cause he's old. I made a funny!]
[It's funny 'cause he's old. I made a funny!]
pogo
+0 -0
I developed the cure.
I developed the cure.
catgrl131
+0 -0
But that's silly!
But that's silly!
snidedk
+2 -0
Developing The Cure is silly, pogo!
Developing The Cure is silly, pogo!
pogo
+0 -0
Curing the plague is silly? Then so be it. A pox on thee.
Curing the plague is silly? Then so be it. A pox on thee.
speccer
+1 -0
And lo, pogo set upon snidedk a curse millenia old, nearly forgotten to the annals of time, but remembered all too vividly by the one man who had been since its conception.
And lo, pogo set upon snidedk a curse millenia old, nearly forgotten to the annals of time, but remembered all too vividly by the one man who had been since its conception.
falseprophet
+0 -0
That's some fine avatar/comment synergy there, Lou.
That's some fine avatar/comment synergy there, Lou.
sje46
+0 -0
Lou.
His name is Lou .
Lou.
His name is Lou .
baryonyx
+1 -0
This has been a magnificent arc for pioneering exciting new turns of phrase.
This has been a magnificent arc for pioneering exciting new turns of phrase.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Teodor has some fun little tits today!
Teodor has some fun little tits today!
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
The funniest thing for me is that my best friend's girlfriend drives that same Volkswagon...and no, shes not a stripper...to my disappointment
The funniest thing for me is that my best friend's girlfriend drives that same Volkswagon...and no, shes not a stripper...to my disappointment
misterspook
+0 -0
Stripper tongue! Stripper tongue makes this strip.
Stripper tongue! Stripper tongue makes this strip.
drskradley
+0 -0
Phineas Gage
(plus)
Ash from Evil Dead
(plus)
Stripper's white trash boyfriend.
A purer combination of pop subculture you will not find.
Phineas Gage
(plus)
Ash from Evil Dead
(plus)
Stripper's white trash boyfriend.
A purer combination of pop subculture you will not find.
keir
+0 -0
Mantel? I've never seen it spelled that way. Mantle? Mantel? Help?
Mantel? I've never seen it spelled that way. Mantle? Mantel? Help?
stereo
+0 -0
I wondered about that too, but apparently a mantel is short for the "mantelpiece" over a fireplace, where a mantle is either a heavy coat or the upper layer of the Earth's crust.
I wondered about that too, but apparently a mantel is short for the "mantelpiece" over a fireplace, where a mantle is either a heavy coat or the upper layer of the Earth's crust.
paradigmeyes
+0 -0
I immediatley thought of Cornelius as bill murray in rushmore.
but nowhere could I find a still of Mr. Murray on the bottom of the pool comforted in his detatchment.
[img]https://artemenko.org/rushmorepool29a.jpg[img]
I immediatley thought of Cornelius as bill murray in rushmore.
but nowhere could I find a still of Mr. Murray on the bottom of the pool comforted in his detatchment.
[img]https://artemenko.org/rushmorepool29a.jpg[img]
paradigmeyes
+3 -0
I immediatley thought of Cornelius as bill murray in rushmore.
but nowhere could I find a still of Mr. Murray on the bottom of the pool comforted in his detatchment.
I immediatley thought of Cornelius as bill murray in rushmore.
but nowhere could I find a still of Mr. Murray on the bottom of the pool comforted in his detatchment.
daidai
+0 -0
Chubbied for referencing rushmore.
God I love that movie.
Chubbied for referencing rushmore.
God I love that movie.
speccer
+0 -0
Every Wes Anderson movie is awesome.
Every Wes Anderson movie is awesome.
tekende
+0 -0
The Life Aquatic is not awesome.
I have not seen Bottle Rocket .
The others are awesome, though.
The Life Aquatic is not awesome.
I have not seen Bottle Rocket .
The others are awesome, though.
speccer
+0 -0
Fine, but you're on B squad. And you're not the leader.
Fine, but you're on B squad. And you're not the leader.
kamet
+0 -0
Do the interns get guns?
Do the interns get guns?
speccer
+0 -0
No, they all share one.
No, they all share one.
checazzo
+0 -1
Cornelius is after all the winner of the badass games. This should come as no surprise.
Cornelius is after all the winner of the badass games. This should come as no surprise.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
corny is a player.
the harvey wallbanger / old fashioned / "retarded" redeemed this strip. 4'd it.
corny is a player.
the harvey wallbanger / old fashioned / "retarded" redeemed this strip. 4'd it.
hardelicious
+1 -0
In the last panel, Cornelius has his hands up in the air as if to say
" This car is an automatic, and yet what is her hand shifting "
In the last panel, Cornelius has his hands up in the air as if to say
" This car is an automatic, and yet what is her hand shifting "
stereo
+0 -0
Her car also has no driver side door... I wonder what this means?
Her car also has no driver side door... I wonder what this means?
desert_donkey
+0 -1
prolly nothing. maybe just a fuck up.
but a vintage (80's) white convertible Volkswagen Cabriolet? that was the quintessential Valley Girl car in the 80's. heheh. those bitches.
prolly nothing. maybe just a fuck up.
but a vintage (80's) white convertible Volkswagen Cabriolet? that was the quintessential Valley Girl car in the 80's. heheh. those bitches.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
that's more of a throw your hands up in a victory salute "I am definitely getting laid. there is no way i can fuck this up. none."
you (me) then have that 7th shot of tequilla to seal in the happiness of the moment and within a few minutes your head is giving deep penetration to your toilet bowl. sex = out
that's more of a throw your hands up in a victory salute "I am definitely getting laid. there is no way i can fuck this up. none."
you (me) then have that 7th shot of tequilla to seal in the happiness of the moment and within a few minutes your head is giving deep penetration to your toilet bowl. sex = out
kamet
+0 -0
See, I took that as the "Stretch and put my arm around the girl" move.
See, I took that as the "Stretch and put my arm around the girl" move.
speccer
+0 -0
Classic.
Dude drives [img=https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06232006]a yellow bus with gothic arch windows[/img].
Classic.
Dude drives [img=https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06232006]a yellow bus with gothic arch windows[/img].
speccer
+0 -0
[url], not [img]!!!
BBCODE!!!
[url], not [img]!!!
BBCODE!!!
deadpool
+2 -0
Ooh this strip is 100 times better if you imagine Cornelius is shouting the VROOOO!
Ooh this strip is 100 times better if you imagine Cornelius is shouting the VROOOO!
crooksandlucy
+0 -0
cornelius has boarded the train that is a car to the road near the exit to the highway with the tollbooth where you get a receipt ticket to awesometon. awesometon: pop. awesome
cornelius has boarded the train that is a car to the road near the exit to the highway with the tollbooth where you get a receipt ticket to awesometon. awesometon: pop. awesome
pogo
+0 -0
Well, at the time I'm writing this, there is still an hour and a half left in Monday for Onstad, being a West Coaster. But here in the Midwest, the promise of a "late Monday" strip is now 12:24 a.m. Tuesday, motherfucking shit!
Well, at the time I'm writing this, there is still an hour and a half left in Monday for Onstad, being a West Coaster. But here in the Midwest, the promise of a "late Monday" strip is now 12:24 a.m. Tuesday, motherfucking shit!
belgand
+0 -0
Yep. Still only 64 minutes to go here on the coast. I doubt he's going to make it. I think it's a problem of doing longer strips basically every time these days. We rarely get the old three or four panels.
Yep. Still only 64 minutes to go here on the coast. I doubt he's going to make it. I think it's a problem of doing longer strips basically every time these days. We rarely get the old three or four panels.
perilon
+0 -0
Trivium time: Did you know that those last two words you said are an integral part of the true lyrics to the Home Depot theme song. Believe it, or don't!
Home Dee-eepot
We're the motherfucking shit
Home Dee-eepot
You will come to our store and we'll sell you tools
Check the music; it fits. (That fellow is not me.)
Trivium time: Did you know that those last two words you said are an integral part of the true lyrics to the Home Depot theme song. Believe it, or don't!
Home Dee-eepot
We're the motherfucking shit
Home Dee-eepot
You will come to our store and we'll sell you tools
Check the music; it fits. (That fellow is not me.)
tekende
+0 -0
That was incredibly random.
That was incredibly random.
perilon
+0 -0
It's all part of my master plan to make people associate common swear words with quality craftsmanship and home improvement. Believe it, or don't!
It's all part of my master plan to make people associate common swear words with quality craftsmanship and home improvement. Believe it, or don't!
monstermovie
+0 -0
god DAMMIT onstad
it is 4 minutes past monday
need my fucking FIX
god DAMMIT onstad
it is 4 minutes past monday
need my fucking FIX
sje46
+0 -0
He's West coast.
Boyyyyy.
He's West coast.
Boyyyyy.
tragicone
+0 -0
damn, so there is heavy competition for first post?
Son of red-haired bitch.
damn, so there is heavy competition for first post?
Son of red-haired bitch.
speccer
+0 -0
Bah, how annoying it is to be on the East coast and on the internet. Somebody wake me up if Onstad posts his comic.
Bah, how annoying it is to be on the East coast and on the internet. Somebody wake me up if Onstad posts his comic.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Hey, wake up!
Hey, wake up!
catgrl131
+0 -0
Oh, right. Shit.
Oh, right. Shit.
tragicone
+0 -0
HE IS A LIAR. RAAAAAGH!
HE IS A LIAR. RAAAAAGH!
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Hell yeah, Cornelius gets some!
Hell yeah, Cornelius gets some!
meetzorp
+0 -0
I'm 5ing it just on account of her adorably battered Rabbit convertible.
I'm 5ing it just on account of her adorably battered Rabbit convertible.
punkmonkey
+0 -0
For a split second (and only a split) I thought Cornelius was yelling VROOOOOO!
For a split second (and only a split) I thought Cornelius was yelling VROOOOOO!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
same here.
same here.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
\0/
\0/
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, c_dizzle, Sweetlips, mrchee)
Any you know he pays for it in guilt when he wakes up.
I'm his dreams have the same eerie 1920s feel that this giant bear sow is giving off ... Meanwhile, back on stage:
Ok, this is interesting.
I was in the Tate Britain today, and walked through the Turner Prize exhibit. There was a video showing the history of Felix the Cat. It moved on to Garfield, and I moved on too...
That is interesting - unfortunately, my comment is on the verge of getting lamed into oblivion so the people of the future won't know what you're talking about ... ah well.
I have not had my lame threshold set to three for years. My guess is that few if any of the regular readers do either.
So the only people who will be unable to see your comment will be the casual readers. And what better way to get them to register, eh?
Mine is at 111.
I doubt I have ran across more than three comments that were hidden.
256 for me. I Haven't had to jump to 512 yet and I'm not sure why I started raising it by powers of 2 in the first place.
Laming is ineffective at hiding inane posts, and tends to just cover up controversial ones which may or may not be of interest.
up yours Garfield
That teddy bear is a stripper.
So what I'm going to be asking for at Build-a-Bear
A comment left by waynewayne was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, NDCaesar, Nighend)
Shit I didn't check that alt text till now, and that means after a night of drinking, so I don't even know what to think of it.