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Hiram the Blacksmith Wednesday, May 14, 2003 • read strip Viewing 57 comments:

oh man the look-around-to-see-if-anyone-is-watching move

i am a master of that one.

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Dude, that's retardo's line.

yeah, no kidding. maybe he finally realized it's kinda pointless to post since everyone just lames him off the map.

Teodor is, at most, bi-curious. Or possibly full-on bisexual.

One of my favourite storylines. Can't say why exactly. It's very silly but at the same time quite believable.

Teodor is not gay. All evidence suggests that he likes picking fruits from both side of the orchard

Conceded.

And a metaphor worth reusing. Chubbied.

It's not Teodor's fault, Ray installed the "Horny Hiram" expansion pack. It's the new Oregon Trail, where 'Oregon' is a metaphor for 'asshole'

Organ Trail

Still not as good as the original Oregon Tail...

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In retrospect I do not know why I felt the need to say this, Portland is a pretty gosh-dang cool place which I miss living in sometimes.

Don't do it Teodor! He has Syphilis!

i suspect this is a trap not unlike that found in EA's 1982 classic Wasteland , wherein one can get Wasteland Herpes from the three-legged prostitute.

1988, dude, not 1982. I'm old, but I ain't that old.

https://www.mobygames.com/game/c64/wasteland

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little known gay fact: just because two people are gays, they do not have to be gay at or in each other (especially when one of them hates pat and the other one is pat)

Chubbied for your use of prepositions with the verb "to be gay."

The International Council of Gays even included this information in recent editions of the Gay Agenda.

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Where is your shame.

did you lose it

Oww owww this made me laugh while drinking some water which then sort of went up my nose like it does when you go swimming and now my sinuses hurt you fucker

You're welcome.

Right. There's always options

GODDAMMIT FUCK I was trying to reply to sprog's comment by linking to a Chucklebot strip! Now I'm replying to daidai with BBCode nonsense. I SWEAR THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE

Teodor is simply doing what all inquisitive, living stuffed animals do. Besides, blacksmiths are very seductive people. You try smashing stuff with a hammer all day and see if you don't get randy.

Don't anybody DARE fix Theodore up with Pat. Hiram may only be a few packets of code but he's ten times the man that Pat is.

Obviously this says more about Pat than it does about Hiram.

Because you wrote "Theodore", I am now picturing Alvin and Simon's younger brother in a relationship with Pat. I hate this mental image with a firey passion normally reserved for the love a man has for a woman.

Dude, you have seen 1337 comics. This makes me happy in a very sad, geeky way.

mmmmmmmmmmm

looks like Hiram the Blacksmith spends his off-time at The Peppermint Honcho.

I can never take a guy named "Hiram" seriously again.

Like I could before or something.

Coconut rum's fierce wrath strikes again.

Damn you, you stole my observation.

With tropical juices , no less. I'm basically not sure I want to know the original source of stated juices.

Tropical fruits, obviously.

A tropical fruit named Pico, who works at the Peppermint Honcho.

i'm thinkin Hiram makes rude iron doilies for his couch.

You can totally feel that moment of pregnant silence pushing on your brain before the quick, high-pitched "That's cool!" (Yes, it would be high-pitched even though it's typed, shut up.)

i almost chubbied this...but the phrase 'pregnant silence' steered me away.

i am sorry about this, xi.

Come on, it's not like pregnant with babies or anything. It's pregnant with hilarity, and Teodor very soon gives birth to a crazy tap-dancing creature of awesome.

you got me. creatures of awesome are chubby worthy.

wait, no they are not.

I dunno, that seems like a shame parade to kiss somebody and they respond with 'That's cool." Like, "Your smooches are acceptable but only vaguely neat."

like when you you tell someone you love them and all they say is thanks.

I think the unexpected kiss sent him into a rush of surprise emotions, and he did not know how to respond at all, only with 'that's cool' - Hiram recognised this instantly and knew his loving was on.

I'm not gay, but if that line came up when playing Oregon Trail, I'd SO respond the same way.

I'm baffled by the lack of love for the alt text here. its sheer brilliance make this even better. because after all it shows Hiram's TRUE love for what he thinks is Ray. all of those drinks? he had to coconut infuse them HIMSELF.

this bothers me just a little bit because i own oregon trail and you have to buy oxen not horses

if the lack of political correctness doesnt bother you, then why should the lack of historical correctness?

not all corectnesses are created equal

I imagine this to be Teodor giving his permission to gays everywhere