dallovich
+0 -0
A comment left by dallovich was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, SchnappM, snitchy, farqussus, DrSkradley, Cremlae, scraggg, clintisiceman, skjames, Panserbjorne, vincentkv)
A comment left by dallovich was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, SchnappM, snitchy, farqussus, DrSkradley, Cremlae, scraggg, clintisiceman, skjames, Panserbjorne, vincentkv)
geysershitdick
+28 -0
You are like a guy from many months ago.
You are like a guy from many months ago.
riazm
+0 -1
I think Achewood has been kicking ass on the alt text front lately. My feelings on this alt text are Pro.
I think Achewood has been kicking ass on the alt text front lately. My feelings on this alt text are Pro.
evolume
+0 -1
from HISTORY!
from HISTORY!
i_love_kate
+1 -0
You are from a town called the past. I was there a while ago. It's pretty okay! But I moved to a place down the road called the future.
You are from a town called the past. I was there a while ago. It's pretty okay! But I moved to a place down the road called the future.
fattybeaver
+2 -0
They don't? Damn I dont know what eHarmony is then.
They don't? Damn I dont know what eHarmony is then.
retro
+0 -0
Chubbied for relevance of avatar to the conversation.
Chubbied for relevance of avatar to the conversation.
overmedicated
+0 -0
They're natural dogg, you can tell by the wave-like jiggles.
They're natural dogg, you can tell by the wave-like jiggles.
belgand
+0 -0
At the same time it is important to distinguish between breasts that are large because they are naturally large and breasts that are large because they are fat.
Firm perkiness is mandatory. Otherwise you have a rack of shame.
At the same time it is important to distinguish between breasts that are large because they are naturally large and breasts that are large because they are fat.
Firm perkiness is mandatory. Otherwise you have a rack of shame.
zapatos
+0 -0
because she ate too many racks of lamb.
because she ate too many racks of lamb.
nhennies
+0 -0
Beef's just feeling guilty for what happened on monday
Beef's just feeling guilty for what happened on monday
boredom_man
+3 -0
So am I! Shit.
So am I! Shit.
magicmud
+0 -0
A comment left by magicmud was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, Thorfinn, DrSkradley, Fcannon, Tragic_Johnson, pogo)
A comment left by magicmud was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, Thorfinn, DrSkradley, Fcannon, Tragic_Johnson, pogo)
scraggg
+0 -0
The church does not need any outside help in this department.
The church does not need any outside help in this department.
ntopp
+14 -0
I don't know, man... Have you heard any of their pick-up lines lately?
"Darling, I've been consecrated to tap that ass ."
Or... "I think I may be experiencing transubstantiation. Part of me just transmuted to stone."
Or... "You must be an angel, because I swear you have seven eyes and were repeating an endless hymn of 'holy, holy, holy.'"
They may need all the outside help they can get.
I don't know, man... Have you heard any of their pick-up lines lately?
"Darling, I've been consecrated to tap that ass ."
Or... "I think I may be experiencing transubstantiation. Part of me just transmuted to stone."
Or... "You must be an angel, because I swear you have seven eyes and were repeating an endless hymn of 'holy, holy, holy.'"
They may need all the outside help they can get.
scraggg
+2 -0
"Speaking of transmutation to stone, enjoy this sex as much as you can, because you'll be stoned to death at the center of town within the day."
"Speaking of transmutation to stone, enjoy this sex as much as you can, because you'll be stoned to death at the center of town within the day."
numberkillinger
+0 -0
if only i had a chubby to give...
if only i had a chubby to give...
norrin
+0 -0
I got him for you.
I got him for you.
flazisismuss
+8 -0
Beef's basically a good dude. A bad dude, or mediocre dude, would not read the full disclosure first. Now he knows the facts.
Beef's basically a good dude. A bad dude, or mediocre dude, would not read the full disclosure first. Now he knows the facts.
lexsenthur
+10 -2
Asymmetrical breasts?
Yeah, I tried 'em. Twice. Can't stand 'em. Dear lord spare me from the awful asymmetrical breasts.
Asymmetrical breasts?
Yeah, I tried 'em. Twice. Can't stand 'em. Dear lord spare me from the awful asymmetrical breasts.
zedpower
+18 -0
I don't get the hang-up over asymmetrical breasts. I mean, with symmetry, when you're done working on one, you look at the other, and you're like "well I just did that, what's the point?". With asymmetry, when you're done with one, you can be "hello there new friend" and have a whole different experience. It's like a two for one!
I don't get the hang-up over asymmetrical breasts. I mean, with symmetry, when you're done working on one, you look at the other, and you're like "well I just did that, what's the point?". With asymmetry, when you're done with one, you can be "hello there new friend" and have a whole different experience. It's like a two for one!
bjorntd
+4 -0
Asymmetrical breasts are so Bauhaus.
Asymmetrical breasts are so Bauhaus.
drskradley
+0 -1
Well said.
Most dudes got asymmetrical dongs as well as nuts, and we are met with no complaints.
Well said.
Most dudes got asymmetrical dongs as well as nuts, and we are met with no complaints.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
any man with imperfect sacks is a man who doesn't get sneered at often. any woman with imperfect fatty sacks is a woman who gets sneered at often.
any man with imperfect sacks is a man who doesn't get sneered at often. any woman with imperfect fatty sacks is a woman who gets sneered at often.
gormster
+1 -0
The left testicle is often lower than the right.
Thank you, Wikipedia.
The left testicle is often lower than the right.
Thank you, Wikipedia.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
but basically all breasts are asymmetrical, at least a little bit.
but basically all breasts are asymmetrical, at least a little bit.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
exactly, and that is what makes it so not awesome that women would get criticized for such a thing by some more asshole-ish types. perfect symmetry is unattainable in nature, at least for animals as physically complicated as people.
exactly, and that is what makes it so not awesome that women would get criticized for such a thing by some more asshole-ish types. perfect symmetry is unattainable in nature, at least for animals as physically complicated as people.
zapatos
+0 -0
ladies, i love all of your breasts, symmetrical or otherwise.
ladies, i love all of your breasts, symmetrical or otherwise.
lateadopter
+2 -0
I guess your asymmetrical dongs would have to be really, really lopsided before you'd get complaints. I wouldn't know, I only have one, myself.
I guess your asymmetrical dongs would have to be really, really lopsided before you'd get complaints. I wouldn't know, I only have one, myself.
charchar
+4 -0
This is because we ladies are classier than the dudes about your little flaws.
This is because we ladies are classier than the dudes about your little flaws.
dovey
+2 -0
...and that's why the human race hasn't died out yet.
Thanks ladies :)
...and that's why the human race hasn't died out yet.
Thanks ladies :)
c_dizzle
+0 -1
Not to mention it's on YOUR shoulders to correct for a gender that would eat fried eggs off a fart if a fart landed on the linoleum and formed a reusable skin.
Not to mention it's on YOUR shoulders to correct for a gender that would eat fried eggs off a fart if a fart landed on the linoleum and formed a reusable skin.
farqussus
+1 -0
Ladies can't afford to be picky about flaws, seeing as how dudes are basically ugly in the main.
Ladies can't afford to be picky about flaws, seeing as how dudes are basically ugly in the main.
charchar
+0 -0
Not true. Girls do tend to be prettier, but I've tried them and damn are we annoying. I guess it's a miracle anybody ever has sex at all, between the farts and irrational squeaking.
Not true. Girls do tend to be prettier, but I've tried them and damn are we annoying. I guess it's a miracle anybody ever has sex at all, between the farts and irrational squeaking.
farqussus
+0 -0
You're saying women fart and squeak? The irrational bit i get, but
You're saying women fart and squeak? The irrational bit i get, but
charchar
+0 -0
The boys fart, the girls communicate through shrieks and whistles. I'm saying we're all hell of annoying in various ways.
The boys fart, the girls communicate through shrieks and whistles. I'm saying we're all hell of annoying in various ways.
farqussus
+0 -0
Taken to the bank!
Taken to the bank!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That's just part of our charm.
That's just part of our charm.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
Here-here.
Ooooooh! One's an innie; one's an outtie!
Here-here.
Ooooooh! One's an innie; one's an outtie!
blueloggy
+1 -0
"Done working on one" - ?
Have I been having sex wrong? (note: I am a lady.)
"Done working on one" - ?
Have I been having sex wrong? (note: I am a lady.)
spinynorman
+4 -0
I believe a desire for symmetry is naturally ingrained in us as reflective of beauty. Wall-eyed people and dudes with half their face taking a stroll and inch to the north are not exactly prime rib.
I mean, the type of beauty may change - bitches may have been pasty and corpulent back in the Renaissance days, but they were still symmetrical.
I think it's like a clue that your genes are shitty. Or something. I don't know.
I believe a desire for symmetry is naturally ingrained in us as reflective of beauty. Wall-eyed people and dudes with half their face taking a stroll and inch to the north are not exactly prime rib.
I mean, the type of beauty may change - bitches may have been pasty and corpulent back in the Renaissance days, but they were still symmetrical.
I think it's like a clue that your genes are shitty. Or something. I don't know.
daidai
+0 -0
Yes. If a girl has got titties on different horizontal planes, then something is very wrong with her genes -- or she got a bad boobjob.
Either way, it is still enough to make every man go: "Ew? I guess? I mean they're ok but I need one of those bubble-things because I don't think they're on strait."
Yes. If a girl has got titties on different horizontal planes, then something is very wrong with her genes -- or she got a bad boobjob.
Either way, it is still enough to make every man go: "Ew? I guess? I mean they're ok but I need one of those bubble-things because I don't think they're on strait."
achilleselbow
+0 -0
How about titties on entirely different geometrical planes? Or n-dimensional titties?
How about titties on entirely different geometrical planes? Or n-dimensional titties?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Facial symmetry is how they scientifically measure beauty. i.e. The more symmetrical your face is, the more technically beautiful you are.
I have a mole just to the right and slightly north of my lip, I think it's fucking me over.
Facial symmetry is how they scientifically measure beauty. i.e. The more symmetrical your face is, the more technically beautiful you are.
I have a mole just to the right and slightly north of my lip, I think it's fucking me over.
tekende
+1 -0
My mustache connects to my beard more on one side than the other. I don't worry about it much though.
Assymetry adds character, baby.
My mustache connects to my beard more on one side than the other. I don't worry about it much though.
Assymetry adds character, baby.
farqussus
+0 -0
your mouth is surrounded by a C? or is it backwards?
your mouth is surrounded by a C? or is it backwards?
tekende
+0 -0
I'm trying really hard to picture what you're talking about here, but I'm just not getting it.
I'm trying really hard to picture what you're talking about here, but I'm just not getting it.
irondave
+0 -0
Heccibiggs, I must point out here that many of the iconic faces of the age have some distinctive flaw. Two prominent examples: Cindy Crawford's mole, which is not unlike yours; and the gap between Lauren Hutton's teeth. Do not be down on your face.
Heccibiggs, I must point out here that many of the iconic faces of the age have some distinctive flaw. Two prominent examples: Cindy Crawford's mole, which is not unlike yours; and the gap between Lauren Hutton's teeth. Do not be down on your face.
dovey
+0 -0
Teeth-gaps are way cute!
Teeth-gaps are way cute!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I was pretty much kidding, dogg, but thanks :)
(Trust me, I have plenty more to worry about with my face than my mole. BUT I won't get into that on a public forum for a comic about anthropomorphic cats.)
I was pretty much kidding, dogg, but thanks :)
(Trust me, I have plenty more to worry about with my face than my mole. BUT I won't get into that on a public forum for a comic about anthropomorphic cats.)
lawbot
+0 -0
It's OK, no-one's uncomfortable with face-worms as a topic of conversation.
It's OK, no-one's uncomfortable with face-worms as a topic of conversation.
zapatos
+0 -0
foreshadowing?
foreshadowing?
zadig
+3 -0
Man, if you are getting bored with the right tit after dealing with the left, you are incredibly jaded. Whereas I am thinking: "Fuck yes, a boob!" "Oh hell yes, another boob!"
Man, if you are getting bored with the right tit after dealing with the left, you are incredibly jaded. Whereas I am thinking: "Fuck yes, a boob!" "Oh hell yes, another boob!"
falseprophet
+0 -0
Chubby... of the mind!
Chubby... of the mind!
tekende
+2 -0
"Oh wow, anoth-- what the f-- "
"Oh wow, anoth-- what the f-- "
peterjoel
+48 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
wittyname
+0 -0
I can't believe this comic was up for nearly four hours before someone did this.
I can't believe this comic was up for nearly four hours before someone did this.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Art takes time.
Art takes time.
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, Thorfinn, c_dizzle, mrobin604, scraggg, vincentkv)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, Thorfinn, c_dizzle, mrobin604, scraggg, vincentkv)
c_dizzle
+2 -0
You need a new crappy line to copy if you're going to post it TWICE in one day.
You need a new crappy line to copy if you're going to post it TWICE in one day.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
To be fair, it was a different person before.
To be fair, it was a different person before.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
...so...this entire board is full of lame, unoriginal tools?
Oh :c(
...so...this entire board is full of lame, unoriginal tools?
Oh :c(
johnnyc
+0 -0
I gave you a "chubby" but this is not an apt term.
I gave you a "chubby" but this is not an apt term.
the_prophet
+0 -0
Oh god, the implications of giving this picture a chubby are staggering, and yet MANY have
Oh god, the implications of giving this picture a chubby are staggering, and yet MANY have
bjorntd
+0 -0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
dovey
+0 -0
This is obviously something meant for the screaming Phillipe. Here it just seems like he's being sarcastic.
This is obviously something meant for the screaming Phillipe. Here it just seems like he's being sarcastic.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
A comment left by saucy_jack was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pkitty, SchnappM, uberbee, trapperjohn, Teabag_Mel)
A comment left by saucy_jack was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pkitty, SchnappM, uberbee, trapperjohn, Teabag_Mel)
flash1087
+6 -0
For Potato Breasts' sake, man, that is RIDICULOUS.
I'm sorry. I really am.
For Potato Breasts' sake, man, that is RIDICULOUS.
I'm sorry. I really am.
waldo913
+1 -0
Rubber boobs do not a happy Molly make.
Rubber boobs do not a happy Molly make.
jrpigman
+2 -0
See I was wondering why they would appeal to Beef, a known Breast man%u2122. Real Breast Men%u2122 are into hangin naturals on their ladies. Sure, looking at a silicone filled domes is okay on paper, but that shit don't move right.
Any other card carrying Breast Men%u2122 care to chime in on this?
See I was wondering why they would appeal to Beef, a known Breast man%u2122. Real Breast Men%u2122 are into hangin naturals on their ladies. Sure, looking at a silicone filled domes is okay on paper, but that shit don't move right.
Any other card carrying Breast Men%u2122 care to chime in on this?
jrpigman
+2 -0
On a slightly related topic, Assetbar is an alternate universe where "%u2122" is the Internationally acknowledged Trademark Symbol, rather than the little TM thingy.
On a slightly related topic, Assetbar is an alternate universe where "%u2122" is the Internationally acknowledged Trademark Symbol, rather than the little TM thingy.
professorhazard
+1 -0
If the accented "e" for "Teodor" and "Pokemon" don't work here, you can be damn sure nothing more complex than that is going to fly, jrpigman.
If the accented "e" for "Teodor" and "Pokemon" don't work here, you can be damn sure nothing more complex than that is going to fly, jrpigman.
jrpigman
+13 -0
Hey, we don't need it as long as we have the Assetbar equivalents, if you %71292UTQ% what I ^#786546#^.
Hey, we don't need it as long as we have the Assetbar equivalents, if you %71292UTQ% what I ^#786546#^.
professorhazard
+3 -0
You're making the sounds the Grim Reaper from Kid Icarus makes when you get in his line of sight! I am reduced to the emotional state of a terrified five-year-old!
You're making the sounds the Grim Reaper from Kid Icarus makes when you get in his line of sight! I am reduced to the emotional state of a terrified five-year-old!
pogo
+0 -0
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, divot, pkitty, GSurge, camrock, rowboat, waldo913, aHatOfPig, NumberKillinger, lastlarf)
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, divot, pkitty, GSurge, camrock, rowboat, waldo913, aHatOfPig, NumberKillinger, lastlarf)
dovey
+0 -0
Goddamnit if I ain't been lookin for just the oppurtunity to chime in.
Goddamnit if I ain't been lookin for just the oppurtunity to chime in.
zadig
+0 -0
Card carrier here, and while the originals are preferred for all forms of physical intimacy, I'll be damned if fake tits aren't awesome for just staring at.
Card carrier here, and while the originals are preferred for all forms of physical intimacy, I'll be damned if fake tits aren't awesome for just staring at.
kittydragon
+0 -0
Is it safe to say that the Achewood machine is fixed?
Is it safe to say that the Achewood machine is fixed?
theargentinian
+1 -1
No. It is not safe. You will be assassinated for saying such things. Beware.
No. It is not safe. You will be assassinated for saying such things. Beware.
nickgranger
+0 -0
"Kitchen Sponge" syndrome does not rock on the whole. Ever.
"Kitchen Sponge" syndrome does not rock on the whole. Ever.
goocifer
+1 -0
God doesn't mind taco colored asymmetrical spongy breasts I guess.
God doesn't mind taco colored asymmetrical spongy breasts I guess.
brian
+10 -0
According to Church doctrine her real boobs would be waiting for her in Heaven, like an amputated leg. Only then would God bone her.
According to Church doctrine her real boobs would be waiting for her in Heaven, like an amputated leg. Only then would God bone her.
crumpetsandtea
+2 -0
and even call her the next day 0:)
and even call her the next day 0:)
zapatos
+0 -0
What would he call her, Ghost Tits?
What would he call her, Ghost Tits?
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
does that imply that if she and/or the tits have some sort of unfinished business, then one of them stays in heaven while the other roams the earth in ghost form?
what kind of unfinished business could a pair of breasts possibly have?
does that imply that if she and/or the tits have some sort of unfinished business, then one of them stays in heaven while the other roams the earth in ghost form?
what kind of unfinished business could a pair of breasts possibly have?
tekende
+10 -0
Could God create a set of boobs so horrible that even He could not like them?
Could God create a set of boobs so horrible that even He could not like them?
lateadopter
+3 -0
God loves all his creations. Go to a dungeon.
God loves all his creations. Go to a dungeon.
spectre
+1 -0
Better yet flagellate yourself in a hair shirt.
Better yet flagellate yourself in a hair shirt.
lateadopter
+0 -0
That will only save you from God's wrath if you really mean it and you die of sepsis while begging forgiveness. Since you're damned anyway, go ahead and choose the easy, lingering death in a cold, dark hole.
That will only save you from God's wrath if you really mean it and you die of sepsis while begging forgiveness. Since you're damned anyway, go ahead and choose the easy, lingering death in a cold, dark hole.
sncether
+8 -0
No; only the city of Los Angeles holds that power.
No; only the city of Los Angeles holds that power.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's not God's work when a set is bad. it is Satan's.
also, any attempt by Man to improve on anything God's already given is pretty sketch in and of itself.
it's not God's work when a set is bad. it is Satan's.
also, any attempt by Man to improve on anything God's already given is pretty sketch in and of itself.
tellumo
+0 -0
Ew. Fake breasts FTL. Do you really want to look like someone out of feckin' Playboy ?
Although this is a really great example of how Beef is King of the Worst-Case Scenario.
Ew. Fake breasts FTL. Do you really want to look like someone out of feckin' Playboy ?
Although this is a really great example of how Beef is King of the Worst-Case Scenario.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh uh i basically win that based on how i feel
oh uh i basically win that based on how i feel
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*already win.
me for the fail.
*already win.
me for the fail.
toiletstore
+7 -0
Depression is hell of rough when even breasts make you sad.
Depression is hell of rough when even breasts make you sad.
professorhazard
+3 -2
Panels six and seven depict the heretofore unseen faces of Roast Beef's anguish response system, which would be used to rate an Achewood comic strip at a zero or negative one, respectively.
Panels six and seven depict the heretofore unseen faces of Roast Beef's anguish response system, which would be used to rate an Achewood comic strip at a zero or negative one, respectively.
eatmorekix
+18 -0
my cousin woke up one morning to the sound of his second wife cursing and to the sight of one of her breasts having totally deflated. she told him that a cyst "she'd always had" must have collapsed and she needed three thousand dollars for an operation. only during divorce proceedings did he find out that actually, her saline implant had popped.
my cousin woke up one morning to the sound of his second wife cursing and to the sight of one of her breasts having totally deflated. she told him that a cyst "she'd always had" must have collapsed and she needed three thousand dollars for an operation. only during divorce proceedings did he find out that actually, her saline implant had popped.
boredom_man
+3 -0
Your cousin is somewhat slow on the uptake.
Your cousin is somewhat slow on the uptake.
irondave
+2 -0
So you are saying he bought the cyst story, initially?
So you are saying he bought the cyst story, initially?
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i keep hitting "chubby" when i mean to hit "reply"! ugh. well, the answer is yes. unfortunately. he didn't know she had implants....!?!?
i keep hitting "chubby" when i mean to hit "reply"! ugh. well, the answer is yes. unfortunately. he didn't know she had implants....!?!?
norrin
+0 -0
Not much experience in the department? Visits to most strip clubs will usually show you the difference between those things and the real deal.
Not much experience in the department? Visits to most strip clubs will usually show you the difference between those things and the real deal.
pogo
+1 -0
"i keep hitting 'chubby' when i mean to hit 'reply'!"
That's what she said.
"i keep hitting 'chubby' when i mean to hit 'reply'!"
That's what she said.
scraggg
+2 -0
That's how I was conceived.
That's how I was conceived.
professorhazard
+6 -1
My brother died that way.
My brother died that way.
tekende
+1 -0
Okay, but did you believe her story?
Okay, but did you believe her story?
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i was nine.
i was nine.
tekende
+0 -0
Ah.
Ah.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
habnabit
+0 -0
A comment left by habnabit was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, c_dizzle, yingkaixing)
A comment left by habnabit was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, c_dizzle, yingkaixing)
lateadopter
+0 -0
"Eh" sums it up for me.
"D'oh!" would probably do for the cousin.
"Eh" sums it up for me.
"D'oh!" would probably do for the cousin.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
EH!
EH!
loneal
+0 -1
Uh...
Uh...
deusoma
+0 -0
Eh.
Eh.
catgrl131
+1 -0
OooohOOOOOoohH!
OooohOOOOOoohH!
c_dizzle
+1 -0
No, no...aaaaaaaaagh. AGGGGGH, in the back of the throat.
No, no...aaaaaaaaagh. AGGGGGH, in the back of the throat.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
A BLOO BLOO BLOO!
A BLOO BLOO BLOO!
zapatos
+0 -0
She didn't answer the question!
She didn't answer the question!
professorhazard
+11 -0
Whenever my eyes drift over the words "woke up one morning to the sound" in your post, I now immediately imagine the distinctive pfnnnrrrt of a deflating balloon.
It goes on for a while, your cousin's second wife trying in vain to surreptitiously plug the leak, before ending with a final, harsh pflrbtflrbtfpt .
Whenever my eyes drift over the words "woke up one morning to the sound" in your post, I now immediately imagine the distinctive pfnnnrrrt of a deflating balloon.
It goes on for a while, your cousin's second wife trying in vain to surreptitiously plug the leak, before ending with a final, harsh pflrbtflrbtfpt .
tupacodaman
+0 -0
I love how all the percentages add to 122.3, though that figure's probably closer to 112.1 since I'm assuming most of the people who suffered "demise, person" were also victims of "delusion and self-evisceration", a quite terrible fate indeed. Besides being a seemingly random percentage, it also means that either a) everyone with breast implants is very unhappy/dead or b) about half of people with implants have multiple afflictions
gotta love big boobs
I love how all the percentages add to 122.3, though that figure's probably closer to 112.1 since I'm assuming most of the people who suffered "demise, person" were also victims of "delusion and self-evisceration", a quite terrible fate indeed. Besides being a seemingly random percentage, it also means that either a) everyone with breast implants is very unhappy/dead or b) about half of people with implants have multiple afflictions
gotta love big boobs
wittyname
+3 -0
These can overlap. You can have naked hysterics with taco coloured boobs. In fact, that's probably what makes women go hysterical.
These can overlap. You can have naked hysterics with taco coloured boobs. In fact, that's probably what makes women go hysterical.
flash1087
+1 -0
I'm also willing to accept the idea that a woman can be hysterical without taco-colored breasts. However, the idea that a woman could have taco-colored breasts amd NOT delve into hysterics is harder for me to swallow.
Another way of looking at it could be that not only do 100% of women who undergo breast surgery exhibit at least one of these traits, there's about 12% of women who have not who experience one anyway.
But what do I know about women? I'm from The Internet.
I'm also willing to accept the idea that a woman can be hysterical without taco-colored breasts. However, the idea that a woman could have taco-colored breasts amd NOT delve into hysterics is harder for me to swallow.
Another way of looking at it could be that not only do 100% of women who undergo breast surgery exhibit at least one of these traits, there's about 12% of women who have not who experience one anyway.
But what do I know about women? I'm from The Internet.
spectre
+0 -0
And then they demise themselves (person).
And then they demise themselves (person).
sgrabens
+0 -2
someone doesn't understand percentages
someone doesn't understand percentages
zadig
+1 -0
This looks like a job for Joke Ruiner! Here I come!
Each percentage is calculating a separate factor, so it does not really matter what their sum is. In the realm of pure probability, you test for each affliction separately.
For example, you roll for capsular contraction, then infection, and onward to Death, Person. So there is a chance in this example of staying complication free. To find it, we begin with our odds of avoiding Capsular Contraction, 72%. Our chance of missing that AND Infection would be 86.1% of 72%, or 61.992%. Keep calculating down this list to find the actual odds of problem free fake titties, which I can't be fucked to calculate at the moment, and are still fairly low.
This looks like a job for Joke Ruiner! Here I come!
Each percentage is calculating a separate factor, so it does not really matter what their sum is. In the realm of pure probability, you test for each affliction separately.
For example, you roll for capsular contraction, then infection, and onward to Death, Person. So there is a chance in this example of staying complication free. To find it, we begin with our odds of avoiding Capsular Contraction, 72%. Our chance of missing that AND Infection would be 86.1% of 72%, or 61.992%. Keep calculating down this list to find the actual odds of problem free fake titties, which I can't be fucked to calculate at the moment, and are still fairly low.
zadig
+4 -1
UPDATE: you have a roughly 25.8% chance of not getting screwed over by your boob job, given the numbers in the comic. I am now done channeling xkcd for today. It's not something an English major conditions for, and it's pretty exhausting.
UPDATE: you have a roughly 25.8% chance of not getting screwed over by your boob job, given the numbers in the comic. I am now done channeling xkcd for today. It's not something an English major conditions for, and it's pretty exhausting.
bjorntd
+0 -0
So far as I can tell, English majors mainly read webcomics all day. I know this because I am one.
So far as I can tell, English majors mainly read webcomics all day. I know this because I am one.
zadig
+0 -0
Which is largely why I said "channeling xkcd" instead of "channeling a math major".
Which is largely why I said "channeling xkcd" instead of "channeling a math major".
wittyname
+0 -0
Wow, all these English majors... it's uncanny.
(Psst, I am an English major)
Wow, all these English majors... it's uncanny.
(Psst, I am an English major)
spinynorman
+0 -0
Word.
...
Sucks.
Word.
...
Sucks.
zapatos
+1 -0
I was also. Then I dropped out.
Now I'm a major, loser.
I was also. Then I dropped out.
Now I'm a major, loser.
agentj
+0 -0
What's Kitchen Sponge syndrome (or KSS)? And what's channel 8?
What's Kitchen Sponge syndrome (or KSS)? And what's channel 8?
spinynorman
+2 -0
My guess is Kitchen Sponge is, like Piss Shivers, a physical malady invented by Chris Onstad.
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that it's when a booby feels a great deal like that sponge sitting on the edge of your kitchen sink that has that unpleasant plumpness you know is a result of being stuffed with bacteria and grease.
My guess is Kitchen Sponge is, like Piss Shivers, a physical malady invented by Chris Onstad.
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that it's when a booby feels a great deal like that sponge sitting on the edge of your kitchen sink that has that unpleasant plumpness you know is a result of being stuffed with bacteria and grease.
cromar
+0 -0
And they smell bad... of musky dishes...
And they smell bad... of musky dishes...
lawbot
+0 -0
Actually, wikipedia has an entry on piss shiver.
Actually, wikipedia has an entry on piss shiver.
phy
+16 -0
Wikipedia has an entry on Charmander but it ain't mean you can buy one.
Wikipedia has an entry on Charmander but it ain't mean you can buy one.
sncether
+1 -0
eBay and Wikipedia: shall they never meet?
eBay and Wikipedia: shall they never meet?
spectre
+1 -0
One day they will breed. The progeny will know everything (though some of their knowledge will be wrong); however, they will be unable to decidee their own prices.
One day they will breed. The progeny will know everything (though some of their knowledge will be wrong); however, they will be unable to decidee their own prices.
lateadopter
+1 -0
They will nonetheless sell themselves to the bidder who edits their price last.
They will nonetheless sell themselves to the bidder who edits their price last.
sncether
+8 -0
Buy It Now Price: $DAVEISAFAGLOL
Buy It Now Price: $DAVEISAFAGLOL
heccibiggs
+1 -0
Oh, lawbot. I think you need to say something to Phy..? About how he's your mother...? And he just took to to school? In the car of... pain?
Oh, lawbot. I think you need to say something to Phy..? About how he's your mother...? And he just took to to school? In the car of... pain?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Also, you should know that since I read this comment however many days ago, it keeps popping into my head and I continue to find it hilarious. I want to say it out loud but then everyone will think I'm crazy because there is almost no context (other than this one) where it is appropriate to say.
Ah well.
Also, you should know that since I read this comment however many days ago, it keeps popping into my head and I continue to find it hilarious. I want to say it out loud but then everyone will think I'm crazy because there is almost no context (other than this one) where it is appropriate to say.
Ah well.
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
Hey uh, I don't know if anyone checks their inbox at all, but I just want to say I was looking forward to getting to talk to you on MIRC (i was surprised that you were there, I'm on it usually) sorry lawbutt had to ruin it for you. He's not usually arguing about religion, he usually just says "your momma" and "no" every now and then, I don't know I think he might be a chatbot.
Hey uh, I don't know if anyone checks their inbox at all, but I just want to say I was looking forward to getting to talk to you on MIRC (i was surprised that you were there, I'm on it usually) sorry lawbutt had to ruin it for you. He's not usually arguing about religion, he usually just says "your momma" and "no" every now and then, I don't know I think he might be a chatbot.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
That's so funny, today is the first time in like forever that I've checked my inbox, and I find this little gem nestled in there, posted just 22 minutes ago.
I've been in the Achewood chat before and had a good time, and I've chatted to lawbot before and enjoyed his company. He was just being a particular dick last night, I suppose.
Don't worry, I'll be back in there soon enough.
That's so funny, today is the first time in like forever that I've checked my inbox, and I find this little gem nestled in there, posted just 22 minutes ago.
I've been in the Achewood chat before and had a good time, and I've chatted to lawbot before and enjoyed his company. He was just being a particular dick last night, I suppose.
Don't worry, I'll be back in there soon enough.
spectre
+0 -0
And check this on The Straight Dope: https://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_225.html
And check this on The Straight Dope: https://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_225.html
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't know about KSS, but God invented piss shivers, not Onstad. Have you never experienced this, Spiny?
I don't know about KSS, but God invented piss shivers, not Onstad. Have you never experienced this, Spiny?
spinynorman
+0 -0
I have, but I don't think you're going to find a listing for the disease in that... that big book of diseases America has or whatever. You know, it's got those snakes doing it on that cane on the front, and so on.
I have, but I don't think you're going to find a listing for the disease in that... that big book of diseases America has or whatever. You know, it's got those snakes doing it on that cane on the front, and so on.
falseprophet
+6 -0
Whatever, dude. You're bangin a snake. No medicine for you.
Whatever, dude. You're bangin a snake. No medicine for you.
professorhazard
+0 -1
The symbol for doctors is two snakes wrapped around a flying thermometer. That is so 80s.
The symbol for doctors is two snakes wrapped around a flying thermometer. That is so 80s.
bjorntd
+8 -0
I see it painted on vans all the time.
I see it painted on vans all the time.
fallow_fields
+2 -0
The symbol for doctors is one snake wrapped around a non-flying rod (It's called the Rod of Asclepius). The symbol of which you speak is the Caduceus, and is more historically suited to be the symbol for messengers or delivery boys/people.
The symbol for doctors is one snake wrapped around a non-flying rod (It's called the Rod of Asclepius). The symbol of which you speak is the Caduceus, and is more historically suited to be the symbol for messengers or delivery boys/people.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Tell it to Philippe , kid.
Tell it to Philippe , kid.
fallow_fields
+0 -0
dang, missed the esoteric achewood reference AGAIN. time to review the entire archives... again. Good night, friday night.
dang, missed the esoteric achewood reference AGAIN. time to review the entire archives... again. Good night, friday night.
lawbot
+0 -0
In real use, the caduceus is quite often deployed in a medical context, mostly because people cannot tell the difference. Also, given the ancient relationship with magic, it is not totally inappropriate.
In real use, the caduceus is quite often deployed in a medical context, mostly because people cannot tell the difference. Also, given the ancient relationship with magic, it is not totally inappropriate.
pogo
+0 -0
That is a wild guess, and agreeably disgusting. I think the sponge image is a textural one, like cellulite, an irregular, pitted look to the fake boob job.
That is a wild guess, and agreeably disgusting. I think the sponge image is a textural one, like cellulite, an irregular, pitted look to the fake boob job.
evolume
+1 -0
NO! Piss Shivers are real and it's like the 2nd best part of being a dude.
NO! Piss Shivers are real and it's like the 2nd best part of being a dude.
rowboat
+2 -0
Second only to snapping spines with ease.
Second only to snapping spines with ease.
irondave
+0 -0
KSS is thought to be related to the condition known as "Hot Dog Fingers."
KSS is thought to be related to the condition known as "Hot Dog Fingers."
tekende
+0 -0
What about spontaneous dental hydroplosion?
What about spontaneous dental hydroplosion?
irondave
+0 -0
I hope I never have that again.
I hope I never have that again.
ricnine
+0 -0
Hm. What of it? Death is anything but permanent in the Achewood universe!
Hm. What of it? Death is anything but permanent in the Achewood universe!
varnish
+0 -0
Marriage to God, on the other hand, is eternal. I mean, think about it. Who would divorce god?
Marriage to God, on the other hand, is eternal. I mean, think about it. Who would divorce god?
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
Liz Taylor!
Holy shit it's been a while.
Liz Taylor!
Holy shit it's been a while.
phthoggos
+0 -0
Damn, good answer
Damn, good answer
flash1087
+0 -0
Mostly because Molly was ALREADY DEAD when she and Beef met. This would be kind of a touching strip if it weren't for the fact death is apparantly something Molly can just sort of get over.
Mostly because Molly was ALREADY DEAD when she and Beef met. This would be kind of a touching strip if it weren't for the fact death is apparantly something Molly can just sort of get over.
dovey
+0 -0
She only got out cos Heaven burned down. How often do you think that shit happens?
She only got out cos Heaven burned down. How often do you think that shit happens?
andersmn
+1 -0
Cats with human boobs is not a good picture...Right?
Cats with human boobs is not a good picture...Right?
cromar
+1 -0
WRONG *meowr-jiggle-lactate*
WRONG *meowr-jiggle-lactate*
cromar
+0 -1
WRONG *meowr-jiggle-lactate*
WRONG *meowr-jiggle-lactate*
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Some beg to differ
Some beg to differ
jordstar
+1 -0
Without even clicking those links, I know that they contain something drawn in Japan. Japan begs to differ.
Without even clicking those links, I know that they contain something drawn in Japan. Japan begs to differ.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Wow, who knew We Love Bukkake had a blog.
Wow, who knew We Love Bukkake had a blog.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Also, I TOTALLY could have lived without seeing that last one.
Also, I TOTALLY could have lived without seeing that last one.
norrin
+0 -0
I looked at the names when I hovered over the links. I chose not to click. I suggest you are more careful.
Blind links lead to tubgirl, lemon party, and 2 girls 1 cup a lot more often than they lead to something you want to see.
I looked at the names when I hovered over the links. I chose not to click. I suggest you are more careful.
Blind links lead to tubgirl, lemon party, and 2 girls 1 cup a lot more often than they lead to something you want to see.
catgrl131
+0 -0
What (or who) are tubgirl and lemon party? 2 gills 1 cup I am entirely too familiar with.
What (or who) are tubgirl and lemon party? 2 gills 1 cup I am entirely too familiar with.
wittyname
+0 -0
Consider it a blessing and hope that it stays that way.
Consider it a blessing and hope that it stays that way.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Goddammit, now if no one tells me, my curiousity will get the better of me and I will end up at Tranqulity Falls (aka the Loony Bin) from trauma.
O F T
Y U A U
R L
Goddammit, now if no one tells me, my curiousity will get the better of me and I will end up at Tranqulity Falls (aka the Loony Bin) from trauma.
O F T
Y U A U
R L
catgrl131
+0 -0
GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!
..O.........F......L.....
Y...U.........A......T...
.......R.........U.......
GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!
..O.........F......L.....
Y...U.........A......T...
.......R.........U.......
catgrl131
+0 -0
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK!
YOUR FAULT
YOU CAN IMAGINE THE GODDAMN WAVY FUCKING LINES YOURSELF!!!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK!
YOUR FAULT
YOU CAN IMAGINE THE GODDAMN WAVY FUCKING LINES YOURSELF!!!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I dunno, I think the second try worked fairly well - I got what it said.
I dunno, I think the second try worked fairly well - I got what it said.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I disagree, it took me a while to figure out what the fuck was going on
A for effort, tho
I disagree, it took me a while to figure out what the fuck was going on
A for effort, tho
wittyname
+0 -0
Tubgirl is a naked women in a bath tub with her legs in the air, with a seeming fountain of liquid shit(?). Lemon party are three naked old men on a bed, two making out, the third performing fellatio one of the others.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Tubgirl is a naked women in a bath tub with her legs in the air, with a seeming fountain of liquid shit(?). Lemon party are three naked old men on a bed, two making out, the third performing fellatio one of the others.
Thank you, and goodnight.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Wh...why would anyone do that?
Wh...why would anyone do that?
awko
+0 -0
Because even old men need loving sometimes.
Because even old men need loving sometimes.
malgam
+0 -0
Wasn't Molly already married to God, from the last time when she died?
Wasn't Molly already married to God, from the last time when she died?
spectre
+0 -0
Nah, they weren't that serious, just occasional hangin' together, a friend-with-benefits kinda thing.
Nah, they weren't that serious, just occasional hangin' together, a friend-with-benefits kinda thing.
lateadopter
+4 -0
God was the one who left behind those condoms that would hold seven lemons.
God was the one who left behind those condoms that would hold seven lemons.
tipist
+2 -0
Is God powerful enough to create a condom so large that he himself would be unable to wear it?
Is God powerful enough to create a condom so large that he himself would be unable to wear it?
bjorntd
+7 -0
I'm sure he could wear it as a hat or something.
I'm sure he could wear it as a hat or something.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Okay, I want to give you a chubby but I'm not sure how many I have left, and who knows what I might come across further down the page. So for now, enjoy this meta-chubby, and if I don't find anything better (and I remember), I'll come back and give you one.
Deal?
Okay, I want to give you a chubby but I'm not sure how many I have left, and who knows what I might come across further down the page. So for now, enjoy this meta-chubby, and if I don't find anything better (and I remember), I'll come back and give you one.
Deal?
tipist
+0 -0
How come my new gif avatar isn't working? Phillipe is supposed to be running, jumping, and slamming into a wall, not just standing there in a running type position :(
How come my new gif avatar isn't working? Phillipe is supposed to be running, jumping, and slamming into a wall, not just standing there in a running type position :(
zaratustra
+0 -0
"Delusion and Self-Evisceration"? So that's what happened to Britney Spears?
"Delusion and Self-Evisceration"? So that's what happened to Britney Spears?
achilleselbow
+0 -1
See what I did there? Am I right? Am I right?
See what I did there? Am I right? Am I right?
spectre
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
dovey
+1 -0
Sir, you didn't do anything.
Sir, you didn't do anything.
tekende
+0 -0
Hahaha!
Hahaha!
jorsh
+0 -0
pig-like man, don't you realize that the very joists of the earth come out of a woman's bodungeon
pig-like man, don't you realize that the very joists of the earth come out of a woman's bodungeon
irondave
+0 -0
I... uh...
Joists?
I... uh...
Joists?
chivalress
+0 -0
https://rbeef.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_archive.html
https://rbeef.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_archive.html
irondave
+0 -0
Thanks. In related news, I did not know that Beef went to Nicaragua and had fun. I need to catch up.
Thanks. In related news, I did not know that Beef went to Nicaragua and had fun. I need to catch up.
loneal
+2 -0
Quick! Someone restore my faith in men and tell me you don't all want your girlfriends to get boob jobs! Quiiiiick!
Quick! Someone restore my faith in men and tell me you don't all want your girlfriends to get boob jobs! Quiiiiick!
tekende
+2 -0
I do not. Well, I mean, if I had a girlfriend I would not want her to get a boob job, as long as she actually was in possession of real boobs.
I did not want any of my previous girlfriends to get boob jobs.
I do not. Well, I mean, if I had a girlfriend I would not want her to get a boob job, as long as she actually was in possession of real boobs.
I did not want any of my previous girlfriends to get boob jobs.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
seconded.
seconded.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Yeah I don't want any of your previous girlfriends to get boob jobs either, tekende.
Yeah I don't want any of your previous girlfriends to get boob jobs either, tekende.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Except his last girlfriend. I don't wish mental illness on many people...
Except his last girlfriend. I don't wish mental illness on many people...
idsyen
+0 -0
I don't dig on cyborgs.
I don't dig on cyborgs.
brian
+0 -0
Speaking for all men: it depends on if she already has large breasts (just kidding, I hope).
Speaking for all men: it depends on if she already has large breasts (just kidding, I hope).
heccibiggs
+0 -0
For a 26 year old man, you sure do have a cute little hopping bunny as your avatar.
For a 26 year old man, you sure do have a cute little hopping bunny as your avatar.
professorhazard
+1 -0
There are good, natural boobs in the world. But not enough of them to go around.
There are good, natural boobs in the world. But not enough of them to go around.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Or, as a man we are all familiar with once said, "Fat titties, man! They like the truffles of the lady-body community!"
Or, as a man we are all familiar with once said, "Fat titties, man! They like the truffles of the lady-body community!"
farqussus
+0 -0
I know! Some women only have one!
I know! Some women only have one!
eatmorekix
+3 -1
my boyfriend doesn't want me to get a boob job but i have pretty big knockers to start with so i don't know if that counts.
my boyfriend doesn't want me to get a boob job but i have pretty big knockers to start with so i don't know if that counts.
loneal
+0 -0
I've never gotten anything but positive comments from boyfriends, but I've got very small knockers. They don't really...knock. It worries me that the guys I date may secretly be thinking it would rock on the whole if I pumped them up.
I've never gotten anything but positive comments from boyfriends, but I've got very small knockers. They don't really...knock. It worries me that the guys I date may secretly be thinking it would rock on the whole if I pumped them up.
loneal
+0 -0
That last them is referring to my knockers. If I would just stop using vague pronouns, I wouldn't have to write sentences like the one before this one.
That last them is referring to my knockers. If I would just stop using vague pronouns, I wouldn't have to write sentences like the one before this one.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, professorhazard, wittyname, scraggg)
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, professorhazard, wittyname, scraggg)
professorhazard
+1 -0
It ain't like anybody needs to actually tell you this, loneal - but a surgery like that should only be undertaken if it will make you happy. There's plenty of fellers out there who don't want more than a handful. Ain't no need to become something you're not.
It ain't like anybody needs to actually tell you this, loneal - but a surgery like that should only be undertaken if it will make you happy. There's plenty of fellers out there who don't want more than a handful. Ain't no need to become something you're not.
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, trust me, I wouldn't get breast implants if you paid me.
Oh, trust me, I wouldn't get breast implants if you paid me.
professorhazard
+2 -0
Brian Zembic would.
Brian Zembic would.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh my God, hahaha. I love the happy ending of the story where he decides to keep them.
Oh my God, hahaha. I love the happy ending of the story where he decides to keep them.
opprobrium
+0 -0
double take. i thought your first 3 words were "oh, thrust me". it made me laugh, it made me post.
double take. i thought your first 3 words were "oh, thrust me". it made me laugh, it made me post.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Unless of course the only reason loneal acquires happiness is by making lecherous men happy.
Yes. I just wanted to use lecherous in a sentence.
Unless of course the only reason loneal acquires happiness is by making lecherous men happy.
Yes. I just wanted to use lecherous in a sentence.
flazisismuss
+5 -0
Implants are the toupee of the 21st Century. Increasingly a relic of outmoded standards of beauty. As a bald dude, I am glad that I am getting old now and not 20 years ago, since standards of male looks can include baldness. Same thing with the knockers. The key is simply to dress well.
Implants are the toupee of the 21st Century. Increasingly a relic of outmoded standards of beauty. As a bald dude, I am glad that I am getting old now and not 20 years ago, since standards of male looks can include baldness. Same thing with the knockers. The key is simply to dress well.
nathanielperson
+1 -0
Virtual chubby for astute analysis of shifting trends in lookin' classy.
Virtual chubby for astute analysis of shifting trends in lookin' classy.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I'm still waiting on the day that pale is acceptable. I mean, I can dress as well as I can, but when I take my shirt off it seriously provokes exclamations of surprise. Maybe even sunburns from the radiant light reflecting off of my body.
Thanks, Ireland.
I'm still waiting on the day that pale is acceptable. I mean, I can dress as well as I can, but when I take my shirt off it seriously provokes exclamations of surprise. Maybe even sunburns from the radiant light reflecting off of my body.
Thanks, Ireland.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
That is a good point and I think we'll get there... probably after you and I die from skin cancer. Sorry.
That is a good point and I think we'll get there... probably after you and I die from skin cancer. Sorry.
powderfinger
+0 -0
but this beautifull olive skin is all i have going for me
but this beautifull olive skin is all i have going for me
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
You have an Irish background norman? daaang If your ever back in Eire, I'll have to buy you a pint. (assuming you check your inbox of course)
You have an Irish background norman? daaang If your ever back in Eire, I'll have to buy you a pint. (assuming you check your inbox of course)
tekende
+0 -0
Trust me, sometimes small breaststststs are totally awesome.
Trust me, sometimes small breaststststs are totally awesome.
falseprophet
+0 -0
My ex-ex-girlfriend's breasts (natural) were considerably larger than my ex-girlfriend's (also natural). I preferred the latter because while going down on her they did not obstruct my view of her face.
My ex-ex-girlfriend's breasts (natural) were considerably larger than my ex-girlfriend's (also natural). I preferred the latter because while going down on her they did not obstruct my view of her face.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
you paint a graphic picture that at first made me uncomfortable. in the end i realized you were right though.
you paint a graphic picture that at first made me uncomfortable. in the end i realized you were right though.
chuvak
+0 -0
Yeah after I did the math I was all, totally right on too.
Yeah after I did the math I was all, totally right on too.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Maths!
Maths!
dovey
+0 -1
Man, mad virtua-chubbies if you were trying to invoke Pharoahe Monch with that spelling of breasts.
If not, goddamnit, listen to Pharoahe Monch, foo'.
Man, mad virtua-chubbies if you were trying to invoke Pharoahe Monch with that spelling of breasts.
If not, goddamnit, listen to Pharoahe Monch, foo'.
tekende
+0 -0
I am actually not sure where it came from. Something out of SNL or In Living Color from back in the day maybe? My parents used to say it, so I'm assuming it comes from at least a decade or two ago.
I am actually not sure where it came from. Something out of SNL or In Living Color from back in the day maybe? My parents used to say it, so I'm assuming it comes from at least a decade or two ago.
eatmorekix
+2 -0
i think small boobs are awesome and i know a lot of guys who think they are awesome too. just accept your breasts and the rest will follow. and trust your taste in dudes. if the guy you're with is a solid young man who is mentally and physically attracted to you, he is not looking at your chest and thinking, "man, i wish they were bigger." he is just looking at your chest.
i think small boobs are awesome and i know a lot of guys who think they are awesome too. just accept your breasts and the rest will follow. and trust your taste in dudes. if the guy you're with is a solid young man who is mentally and physically attracted to you, he is not looking at your chest and thinking, "man, i wish they were bigger." he is just looking at your chest.
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, you ain't got to worry. It's not something I think about often, or really ever. It was just a thought that occurred to me upon reading today's strip. Me and the girls have no problems with each other.
Oh, you ain't got to worry. It's not something I think about often, or really ever. It was just a thought that occurred to me upon reading today's strip. Me and the girls have no problems with each other.
le_baron_noir
+21 -0
I keep wanting to weigh in on this, but every time I start writing something it just feels wrong.
Oh, fuck it. Small tits are where it's at. Any dude knows. Big ones are novel but often flawed. Fake ones just don't move right.
That's essentially what I wanted to say, potential misconceptions about my worth as man be damned.
I keep wanting to weigh in on this, but every time I start writing something it just feels wrong.
Oh, fuck it. Small tits are where it's at. Any dude knows. Big ones are novel but often flawed. Fake ones just don't move right.
That's essentially what I wanted to say, potential misconceptions about my worth as man be damned.
loneal
+1 -0
Oh, fuck. I'm out of chubbies, but this is my favorite comment on the whole damn page.
Oh, fuck. I'm out of chubbies, but this is my favorite comment on the whole damn page.
blueloggy
+2 -0
Since I am a fellow small-boobied person I have chubbied this comment for you. Tart-n-tinies rock the party.
Since I am a fellow small-boobied person I have chubbied this comment for you. Tart-n-tinies rock the party.
loneal
+1 -0
That is cute! That is a cute thing to call small breasts. I'm going to call them that from now on.
That is cute! That is a cute thing to call small breasts. I'm going to call them that from now on.
chuvak
+1 -0
Yet another nice word for boobs in general: Tittersons. Think about it. Just putting that out there.
Yet another nice word for boobs in general: Tittersons. Think about it. Just putting that out there.
norrin
+0 -0
Chesticles? Breasticles? Tig ol bitties? I have used all of these. I am not a proud man.
Chesticles? Breasticles? Tig ol bitties? I have used all of these. I am not a proud man.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I chubbied him for you. Your enthusiasm was infectious. le_baron: I agree, and yet I'm a hopeless large breast man. I take them with their faults (i.e. slowly loosing their perk). Now all we need is a comic about catcock augmentation??
I chubbied him for you. Your enthusiasm was infectious. le_baron: I agree, and yet I'm a hopeless large breast man. I take them with their faults (i.e. slowly loosing their perk). Now all we need is a comic about catcock augmentation??
professorhazard
+1 -0
I, too, am a hopelessly large-breasted man.
wait
I, too, am a hopelessly large-breasted man.
wait
usversusthem
+0 -0
I'm also out of chubbies, but a virtual one for your honesty, your confidence, and your correctness.
I'm also out of chubbies, but a virtual one for your honesty, your confidence, and your correctness.
dovey
+0 -0
Oh man you are my favourite Achewood user I just wanted to say that.
Oh man you are my favourite Achewood user I just wanted to say that.
dovey
+0 -0
That was for le_baron_noir, peeps.
That was for le_baron_noir, peeps.
mrpoopytime
+2 -2
Chubby for big ol titties.
Chubby for big ol titties.
professorhazard
+1 -1
Chubbied for being unable to stop myself from being extremely amused by the fact that your name is MrPoopytime.
Chubbied for being unable to stop myself from being extremely amused by the fact that your name is MrPoopytime.
snowman
+1 -0
did you try to stop yourself i mean did you really try hard enough
did you try to stop yourself i mean did you really try hard enough
professorhazard
+0 -0
I thought about trying, then realized there was no reason to deny myself such a simple joy.
I thought about trying, then realized there was no reason to deny myself such a simple joy.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Yes well maybe you'll think better of it someday when you're BURNING IN HELL.
Yes well maybe you'll think better of it someday when you're BURNING IN HELL.
phthoggos
+0 -0
you got two chubbies because you said you have pretty big knockers
thank you internet
you got two chubbies because you said you have pretty big knockers
thank you internet
eatmorekix
+0 -0
i posted it and then realized i had made a huge mistake
i posted it and then realized i had made a huge mistake
spinynorman
+0 -0
I suppose in this, I am an ass-man, but not like big ghetto booty asses as the term tends to imply, but such as skinny white girl asses. However, the physique that comes with is usually paired with small boobies.
I suppose in this, I am an ass-man, but not like big ghetto booty asses as the term tends to imply, but such as skinny white girl asses. However, the physique that comes with is usually paired with small boobies.
jamsok
+1 -0
No. Fake boobs are gross. I want my girlfriend to get a boobjob as badly as I want to have penile enlargement surgery.
No. Fake boobs are gross. I want my girlfriend to get a boobjob as badly as I want to have penile enlargement surgery.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
also i think there is very little material on the internet that is capable of restoring faith in men. at least i haven't seen any. but don't fret, loneal. guys may talk but when it comes down to it, i think most of them know fake ones ain't as much fun.
also i think there is very little material on the internet that is capable of restoring faith in men. at least i haven't seen any. but don't fret, loneal. guys may talk but when it comes down to it, i think most of them know fake ones ain't as much fun.
tekende
+0 -0
Exactly. Natural is almost always better.
Exactly. Natural is almost always better.
thorfinn
+0 -1
Yes, natural is way better, not only do large fake boobs look silly, it hurts when they hit you. I went to the nudie bar with some friends on my birthday last year, and when I got an ambush lap dance (trying to get another strippers attention during $1 mini-dance time when the stripper with the large fake boobs snuck up on me), it felt as if I was being repeatedly punched in the face.
Yes, natural is way better, not only do large fake boobs look silly, it hurts when they hit you. I went to the nudie bar with some friends on my birthday last year, and when I got an ambush lap dance (trying to get another strippers attention during $1 mini-dance time when the stripper with the large fake boobs snuck up on me), it felt as if I was being repeatedly punched in the face.
professorhazard
+2 -0
She knew this.
She knew this.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I don't think she did, she seemed nice, so I don't think she would boob-assault me with malicious intent. I think she was just unaware that giant bags of silicone can turn a pear of harmless B-cups into potentially dangerous weapons.
I don't think she did, she seemed nice, so I don't think she would boob-assault me with malicious intent. I think she was just unaware that giant bags of silicone can turn a pear of harmless B-cups into potentially dangerous weapons.
thorfinn
+3 -0
worst homophone switch ever
pear=pair, I have no idea how I didn't notice that
worst homophone switch ever
pear=pair, I have no idea how I didn't notice that
idsyen
+0 -0
Worst? ...or best?
Worst? ...or best?
wittyname
+0 -0
Worst.
Worst.
dovey
+0 -0
Best!
It made me think of boobies shaped like pears :-/
Best!
It made me think of boobies shaped like pears :-/
ananke
+0 -0
I'm sorry, but I have to chuckle at the fact you got assaulted by breasts and they were only b-cups.
I'm sorry, but I have to chuckle at the fact you got assaulted by breasts and they were only b-cups.
axhoola
+0 -0
I believe thorfinn meant they were b-cups prior to the insertion of the giant bags of silicone. After that, who can say to what size they expanded?
I believe thorfinn meant they were b-cups prior to the insertion of the giant bags of silicone. After that, who can say to what size they expanded?
usversusthem
+1 -0
They could even have been J-cups! (Assuming this happened in Canada.)
They could even have been J-cups! (Assuming this happened in Canada.)
powderfinger
+1 -0
doesn't canada measure titties with the metric system
doesn't canada measure titties with the metric system
professorhazard
+1 -0
strewth mate she's a litre if she's a drop if yeh catch me meanin'
strewth mate she's a litre if she's a drop if yeh catch me meanin'
thorfinn
+0 -0
You are correct in that assumption. They had to be at least F-cups at the time I was struck by them. From the hardness and the way they moved, I figured they were probably at least 80% silicone, so I assumed they were probably about B-cups to begin with.
You are correct in that assumption. They had to be at least F-cups at the time I was struck by them. From the hardness and the way they moved, I figured they were probably at least 80% silicone, so I assumed they were probably about B-cups to begin with.
dovey
+0 -0
Boob-science
Boob-science
ananke
+0 -0
Yes, I figured that out but I like my way of thinking about it better. :P
Yes, I figured that out but I like my way of thinking about it better. :P
lateadopter
+0 -0
I'm trying to talk my SO out of any such procedure.
I'm trying to talk my SO out of any such procedure.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I tried, and to no avail, though now that it's done I can't honestly say that I dislike the results.
I tried, and to no avail, though now that it's done I can't honestly say that I dislike the results.
jlynes
+0 -0
achilles, you and I are of like mind and situation, apparently. She didn't need them, but now that they're healed, I cannot deny the attraction.
achilles, you and I are of like mind and situation, apparently. She didn't need them, but now that they're healed, I cannot deny the attraction.
loneal
+3 -0
Does that mean you like them better now, or that you are equally happy either way?
It is very important that you describe in detail on the Internet your relationship to your girlfriend's breasts.
Does that mean you like them better now, or that you are equally happy either way?
It is very important that you describe in detail on the Internet your relationship to your girlfriend's breasts.
achilleselbow
+9 -0
My feelings on those assets are pro.
My feelings on those assets are pro.
snowman
+0 -0
niiiiiiiiiice
niiiiiiiiiice
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I would like to add a "tidy" to the "nice".
I would like to add a "tidy" to the "nice".
varnish
+3 -0
I'm going to call up my ex right now and tell her not to get a boob job.
We haven't spoken in a year, so it might get a bit awkward.
I'm going to call up my ex right now and tell her not to get a boob job.
We haven't spoken in a year, so it might get a bit awkward.
tekende
+1 -0
Let us know how that goes.
Let us know how that goes.
falseprophet
+19 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Penneh! Ya musn't get tha breast implahnts, Penneh! I cahn't explenn noo but I'll cahl ya in seven yeahrs!
[IMGS OFF]
Penneh! Ya musn't get tha breast implahnts, Penneh! I cahn't explenn noo but I'll cahl ya in seven yeahrs!
scraggg
+4 -0
No matter what Desmond does to stop her, she will get them. The universe has a way of course-correcting.
No matter what Desmond does to stop her, she will get them. The universe has a way of course-correcting.
daidai
+4 -0
Penneh, It's me. Ah cahlled lahk ah sehd ah would.
They'hl luhk lahk tachohs. TACHOHS, Penneh!
Penneh, It's me. Ah cahlled lahk ah sehd ah would.
They'hl luhk lahk tachohs. TACHOHS, Penneh!
falseprophet
+0 -0
Virtual chubby. I am guessing you meant it to be pronounced 'TAHCOHS' but 'TACHOHS' is Hilarious!
Virtual chubby. I am guessing you meant it to be pronounced 'TAHCOHS' but 'TACHOHS' is Hilarious!
chuvak
+0 -0
They are Scottish tachyons.
They are Scottish tachyons.
irondave
+0 -0
Girlfriend, no. Wife, that would probably rock on the whole.
Girlfriend, no. Wife, that would probably rock on the whole.
professorhazard
+0 -0
irondave has both, and makes no apologies about it.
irondave has both, and makes no apologies about it.
tekende
+0 -0
Virtual chubby! That was good.
Virtual chubby! That was good.
ananke
+0 -0
Last person I knew who got herself implants for her hubbies birthday was divorced in a year.
Last person I knew who got herself implants for her hubbies birthday was divorced in a year.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Bitches gotta get their squeeze-sacks filled! I ain't playin' with no tennis balls!
Bitches gotta get their squeeze-sacks filled! I ain't playin' with no tennis balls!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Pretty sure at Todd's level of class, tits are generally referred to as "funbags".
Pretty sure at Todd's level of class, tits are generally referred to as "funbags".
dovey
+0 -0
Man, are you implying that "squeeze-sacks" is a more classy way of referring to breasts than "funbags?"
Man, are you implying that "squeeze-sacks" is a more classy way of referring to breasts than "funbags?"
professorhazard
+0 -0
I'm implying that Todd is slightly classier than we give him credit for. "Squeeze-sacks" is what Pat would come up with if he was trying to pretend like he was into tits.
I'm implying that Todd is slightly classier than we give him credit for. "Squeeze-sacks" is what Pat would come up with if he was trying to pretend like he was into tits.
tekende
+0 -0
Pat is into tits, whether he admits it or not.
Here's the thing: all guys, straight OR gay, like breasts. It's just a Thing of dudes.
Pat is into tits, whether he admits it or not.
Here's the thing: all guys, straight OR gay, like breasts. It's just a Thing of dudes.
wittyname
+0 -0
You'd be wrong.
You'd be wrong.
professorhazard
+0 -0
wittyname, are you kicking it Gay style, setting the record straight?
wittyname, are you kicking it Gay style, setting the record straight?
wittyname
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Rad!
RAAAAAAAD!
Rad!
RAAAAAAAD!
tekende
+1 -0
wittyname, are you ever honest with yourself? About everything?
wittyname, are you ever honest with yourself? About everything?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
It is true. Two gay guys I used to work with (one older and more reserved, the other young and queenin' out) were both pretty impressed and at times fascinated with Biggies.
It is true. Two gay guys I used to work with (one older and more reserved, the other young and queenin' out) were both pretty impressed and at times fascinated with Biggies.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure that, like most qualities with human beings, things vary wildly.
I'm pretty sure that, like most qualities with human beings, things vary wildly.
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
(Or actually YES)
NO
(Or actually YES)
spectre
+0 -0
My wife already gots big boobies. She COULd use some "Silence" impants, occasionally. Usually.
My wife already gots big boobies. She COULd use some "Silence" impants, occasionally. Usually.
snowman
+2 -0
I know a lot of dudes dig on it, but I really find the idea disgusting. And my girl is not particularly...endowed. But I think they are perfect.
I know a lot of dudes dig on it, but I really find the idea disgusting. And my girl is not particularly...endowed. But I think they are perfect.
snowman
+0 -0
Wow. TMI.
Wow. TMI.
falseprophet
+1 -0
We are just all fellow breast men and women talking on the internet behind the forcefield of anonymity. It is okay, Snowman. It's. O. Kay.
We are just all fellow breast men and women talking on the internet behind the forcefield of anonymity. It is okay, Snowman. It's. O. Kay.
chuvak
+0 -0
Tits.
Tits.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Exactly! Tits. O. Kay.
Thank you, chuvak.
Exactly! Tits. O. Kay.
Thank you, chuvak.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Today my roommates and I were in the kitchen when one of them said out of nowhere, "Hey, you know what I like?" and I immediately replied "Boobies?" This was in fact exactly what he was intending to say. The other roommate was profoundly disturbed by our manly mind-meld.
Today my roommates and I were in the kitchen when one of them said out of nowhere, "Hey, you know what I like?" and I immediately replied "Boobies?" This was in fact exactly what he was intending to say. The other roommate was profoundly disturbed by our manly mind-meld.
professorhazard
+0 -0
This reminds me of the following conversation.
Friend: You know what's awesome?
Me: Super Mario Bros.
Friend: Yes.
This reminds me of the following conversation.
Friend: You know what's awesome?
Me: Super Mario Bros.
Friend: Yes.
tekende
+0 -0
To be fair, that's a reasonable answer to that question no matter what the intended answer was.
To be fair, that's a reasonable answer to that question no matter what the intended answer was.
chuvak
+0 -0
I would, however, like her to do the grocery shopping JUST THIS FUCKING ONCE.
I would, however, like her to do the grocery shopping JUST THIS FUCKING ONCE.
catgrl131
+1 -0
I once married a Chinese dude because I heard they were okay with small ones!
I once married a Chinese dude because I heard they were okay with small ones!
hateandwar
+1 -0
Probably be pretty hot to be married to God.
Probably be pretty hot to be married to God.
lateadopter
+0 -0
You think nuns are hot. Most gay men who went to Catholic school think your knuckles should be smacked with a ruler. Some of them will do it for free.
You think nuns are hot. Most gay men who went to Catholic school think your knuckles should be smacked with a ruler. Some of them will do it for free.
wittyname
+0 -0
I read this over three times and have no idea what any of it means. Please someone break it down for me?
I read this over three times and have no idea what any of it means. Please someone break it down for me?
lateadopter
+0 -0
I would, but it's awfully tenuous. Absurd is a better word.
I would, but it's awfully tenuous. Absurd is a better word.
bjorntd
+0 -0
gay men=priests?
I dunno man, someone needs to hook up a breathalyzer to their keyboard, I done think.
gay men=priests?
I dunno man, someone needs to hook up a breathalyzer to their keyboard, I done think.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Fuck, now I'll have to explain just how stupid I am.
1) hateandwar posited that being married to God is hot.
2) Nuns are married to God, therefore they are hot.
3) Many older gay men that I know went to Catholic school, and they maintain an obsessive fear and awe of the nuns who routinely punished them. I posit that they might be inclined to point out the error of hateandwar's thinking by rapping his knuckles with a ruler.
4) Some proportion of the population, including a subset of gay-men-who-were-punished-by-nuns-in-Catholic-school, are into S&M. Therefore, they might be happy to rap hateandwar's knuckles for free, if he's into that sort of thing.
Fuck, now I'll have to explain just how stupid I am.
1) hateandwar posited that being married to God is hot.
2) Nuns are married to God, therefore they are hot.
3) Many older gay men that I know went to Catholic school, and they maintain an obsessive fear and awe of the nuns who routinely punished them. I posit that they might be inclined to point out the error of hateandwar's thinking by rapping his knuckles with a ruler.
4) Some proportion of the population, including a subset of gay-men-who-were-punished-by-nuns-in-Catholic-school, are into S&M. Therefore, they might be happy to rap hateandwar's knuckles for free, if he's into that sort of thing.
hateandwar
+0 -0
What I meant was being like, married to the actual entity that is God, not some silly metaphor where I'm celibate as part of my religious devotions. I understand how it got away from me, and I can follow the thought process that lead to this gay-BDSM-ruler business. It's not at all what I meant to imply, but if we're all so uncomfortable with the idea of me doin' it with the Lord in Heaven, I can totally understand why you'd all rather I have a much more tame (comparatively speaking) Nun fetish.
What I meant was being like, married to the actual entity that is God, not some silly metaphor where I'm celibate as part of my religious devotions. I understand how it got away from me, and I can follow the thought process that lead to this gay-BDSM-ruler business. It's not at all what I meant to imply, but if we're all so uncomfortable with the idea of me doin' it with the Lord in Heaven, I can totally understand why you'd all rather I have a much more tame (comparatively speaking) Nun fetish.
lateadopter
+0 -0
So, in your book, doing it with God (missionary position, presumably) is wild, and it's tame to have a gay man get off on using a ruler to beat the nun fetish out of you.
Interesting.
So, in your book, doing it with God (missionary position, presumably) is wild, and it's tame to have a gay man get off on using a ruler to beat the nun fetish out of you.
Interesting.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Also, read above for other comments on God's sex paraphernalia and habits (some by proxy). There's not much in the way of religious qualms on this page.
To avoid any deviation from your thoughts, I suppose I should have said "You're banging God, but whatever. No cookies for you."
Also, read above for other comments on God's sex paraphernalia and habits (some by proxy). There's not much in the way of religious qualms on this page.
To avoid any deviation from your thoughts, I suppose I should have said "You're banging God, but whatever. No cookies for you."
mjfitzge
+1 -0
i gotta say that any earthly kink is easily trumped by fuckin god. i mean, come on.
i gotta say that any earthly kink is easily trumped by fuckin god. i mean, come on.
powderfinger
+0 -0
doing it with God is not tame, i hear he likes to have sex in a very uncomfortable place, and it's not the back of a volkswagon
doing it with God is not tame, i hear he likes to have sex in a very uncomfortable place, and it's not the back of a volkswagon
tekende
+0 -0
The back of a Honda Accord hatchback?
The back of a Honda Accord hatchback?
wittyname
+0 -0
Okay, I understand now. I still don't get your logic of tying in nuns to S&M.
Okay, I understand now. I still don't get your logic of tying in nuns to S&M.
loneal
+0 -0
Dude, nuns are all about S&M. Nuns are just repressed painsluts. It's the exact same urge, but channeled into religion instead of sex.
Dude, nuns are all about S&M. Nuns are just repressed painsluts. It's the exact same urge, but channeled into religion instead of sex.
lawbot
+0 -0
UNPROVEN
UNPROVEN
ananke
+0 -0
...unless you've spent any amount of time in Catholic school.
...unless you've spent any amount of time in Catholic school.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Religion fills me with grief.
Religion fills me with grief.
dovey
+0 -0
I do not miss religion.
I do not miss religion.
bjorntd
+0 -0
My nuns were funny! They're usually not in my room though.
My nuns were funny! They're usually not in my room though.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Well the thing is, when I laid down with him I had to grin, because he is shyer than thou are.
QUICK INTERNET DOES ANYONE GET WHAT I MEAN BY THISSS
Well the thing is, when I laid down with him I had to grin, because he is shyer than thou are.
QUICK INTERNET DOES ANYONE GET WHAT I MEAN BY THISSS
chuvak
+0 -0
ISEEWHATURDOINTHERE
ISEEWHATURDOINTHERE
autrepoupee
+0 -0
on the real? mystics knights of the oingo boingo HUZZAH!
on the real? mystics knights of the oingo boingo HUZZAH!
davey-boy
+1 -0
Anyone notice that the breast implant people not only bought a full page ad, but another entire page to explain how bad their product is?
Anyone notice that the breast implant people not only bought a full page ad, but another entire page to explain how bad their product is?
chuvak
+0 -0
'Twas Required by the Government.
'Twas Required by the Government.
davey-boy
+1 -0
tekende
+0 -0
I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't quite catch it.
I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't quite catch it.
sncether
+0 -0
Hey everybody! Tekende's gonna fight Davey-boy!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Hey everybody! Tekende's gonna fight Davey-boy!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
tekende
+0 -0
I...what?
I...what?
professorhazard
+0 -0
/knocks a chair over
/knocks a chair over
davey-boy
+0 -0
If you could direct me to my hat, I will be on my merry way. I don't want trouble.
If you could direct me to my hat, I will be on my merry way. I don't want trouble.
bjorntd
+0 -0
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
catgrl131
+0 -0
THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME ON, BITCH? BRING IT!
THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME ON, BITCH? BRING IT!
davey-boy
+0 -0
You need your ass kicked? Because I have your recipe for two buns in a pickle.
You need your ass kicked? Because I have your recipe for two buns in a pickle.
catgrl131
+0 -0
OH THAT'S IT!
*Waves wand of plus 8 elf-magic*
OH THAT'S IT!
*Waves wand of plus 8 elf-magic*
davey-boy
+0 -0
*Responds with a Guaranteed Honky-Tonk Style Blow Job*
*Responds with a Guaranteed Honky-Tonk Style Blow Job*
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brian, loneal, cmr, usversusthem, scraggg, nathanielperson)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brian, loneal, cmr, usversusthem, scraggg, nathanielperson)
professorhazard
+1 -0
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Yeeeaah. What exactly is the deal with you?
Yeeeaah. What exactly is the deal with you?
wittyname
+0 -0
Funniest post on this comic. Seriously, why isn't anyone laughing at this?
Funniest post on this comic. Seriously, why isn't anyone laughing at this?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
This may sound bizarre, but I personally consider the idea of naked hysterics in an empty tub to be quite humourous.
This may sound bizarre, but I personally consider the idea of naked hysterics in an empty tub to be quite humourous.
tekende
+0 -0
The idea, yes.
In execution? Not so much.
The idea, yes.
In execution? Not so much.
boredom_man
+0 -0
Because of Adulthood.
Because of Adulthood.
dino_grill
+1 -0
having lived with a bunch of strippers, i can say that kitchen sponge syndrome has a much higher occurrence than just 9.9%.
having lived with a bunch of strippers, i can say that kitchen sponge syndrome has a much higher occurrence than just 9.9%.
thorfinn
+0 -0
This has nothing to do with your post, but is instead regarding your status. When I move my mouse over your icon, it says "Portland's best pizza". Where, pray tell, is this pizza? I have lived in Portland for 6 months, and have had some excellent pizza, but I must know if there is some even better pizza that I am missing out on.
This has nothing to do with your post, but is instead regarding your status. When I move my mouse over your icon, it says "Portland's best pizza". Where, pray tell, is this pizza? I have lived in Portland for 6 months, and have had some excellent pizza, but I must know if there is some even better pizza that I am missing out on.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I would guess it was at the Dino Grill, but Google does not back up my hypothesis.
I would guess it was at the Dino Grill, but Google does not back up my hypothesis.
dino_grill
+0 -0
in my opinion Apizza Scholls has the best pizza. ken's artisan is also pretty damn good. my only beef is that you can't get takeout from either place and because it's pizza there is inevitably the table of untamed screaming hippie children.
in my opinion Apizza Scholls has the best pizza. ken's artisan is also pretty damn good. my only beef is that you can't get takeout from either place and because it's pizza there is inevitably the table of untamed screaming hippie children.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Is Apizza Scholls the one at 46th and Hawthorne, I think I have walked past it once, but it didn't look all that great, so I went to Hot Lips instead.
Is Apizza Scholls the one at 46th and Hawthorne, I think I have walked past it once, but it didn't look all that great, so I went to Hot Lips instead.
sncether
+0 -0
Who the hell names these restaurants?
Who the hell names these restaurants?
thorfinn
+0 -0
I believe that there are many Apizza restaurants, and Scholls is referring to the specific location.
I believe that there are many Apizza restaurants, and Scholls is referring to the specific location.
phthoggos
+0 -0
"having lived with a bunch of strippers"
No wonder, you're from Portland.
We should have a meetup. Except that would be pretty tragic.
"having lived with a bunch of strippers"
No wonder, you're from Portland.
We should have a meetup. Except that would be pretty tragic.
dino_grill
+0 -0
ha! a portland achewood meetup. so many bloatees.
ha! a portland achewood meetup. so many bloatees.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I imagine that there would be mass quantities of PBR consumed. I believe that Portland consumes something like 60% of the nation's PBR. Most people I know in other parts of the country don't drink it so much.
I imagine that there would be mass quantities of PBR consumed. I believe that Portland consumes something like 60% of the nation's PBR. Most people I know in other parts of the country don't drink it so much.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Cheerleader Dies After Breast Surgery
I wonder if this article is what sparked today's strip.
Cheerleader Dies After Breast Surgery
I wonder if this article is what sparked today's strip.
gussiejives
+0 -0
11.3% demise??? I have a newfound respect for dangers of the porn biz.
11.3% demise??? I have a newfound respect for dangers of the porn biz.
chuvak
+0 -0
Yeah you combine that with the inherent dangers of bukkake waterboarding and you pretty much got the same mortality rate as the Marines.
Yeah you combine that with the inherent dangers of bukkake waterboarding and you pretty much got the same mortality rate as the Marines.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Now, when you say bukkake waterboarding, are you describing a method of torture where a woman is strapped to a board and men repeatedly ejaculate on her head/chest until she is driven insane and will give them any information they need. Or did you mean wakeboarding or something similar.
Now, when you say bukkake waterboarding, are you describing a method of torture where a woman is strapped to a board and men repeatedly ejaculate on her head/chest until she is driven insane and will give them any information they need. Or did you mean wakeboarding or something similar.
bjorntd
+0 -0
No. I'm pretty sure he meant the former. I just wish I didn't have that image in my head now.
So Many Ding-Dongs!
No. I'm pretty sure he meant the former. I just wish I didn't have that image in my head now.
So Many Ding-Dongs!
thorfinn
+0 -0
I was hoping for the latter, but the former was the first thing that popped into my head. I was imagining some porno girl screaming out in agony, "Alright, I'll talk, I'll tell you whatever you want to know, just please, for the love of god, stop coming on me"
I was hoping for the latter, but the former was the first thing that popped into my head. I was imagining some porno girl screaming out in agony, "Alright, I'll talk, I'll tell you whatever you want to know, just please, for the love of god, stop coming on me"
dovey
+0 -0
Actually it was the other way round for me.
Actually it was the other way round for me.
farqussus
+0 -0
an awful lot of spooge is required to house a powerboat pulling a dude on a board.
an awful lot of spooge is required to house a powerboat pulling a dude on a board.
terrainasaur
+0 -0
part of me died in panel six
part of me died in panel six
aliiis
+1 -0
I think my blood actually ran cold. Is this the saddest thing?
I think my blood actually ran cold. Is this the saddest thing?
dino_grill
+0 -0
i think this is the meta-saddest thing
i think this is the meta-saddest thing
professorhazard
+0 -0
I can't consider it the saddest thing. Not with Ultra Peanut giggling impishly like that.
I can't consider it the saddest thing. Not with Ultra Peanut giggling impishly like that.
chuvak
+0 -0
Snoopy's Balls. That is the saddest thing.
Snoopy's Balls. That is the saddest thing.
aliiis
+0 -0
she is crying inside
she is crying inside
boredom_man
+0 -0
because the baby isn't breathing
because the baby isn't breathing
beansdooma
+3 -0
this is even better because molly is not angry, just disappointed
onstad knows how to hurt a guy
this is even better because molly is not angry, just disappointed
onstad knows how to hurt a guy
flash1087
+1 -0
The alt-text in this could be a strip in itself. One imagines a line of Dudes Who Are Not Good standing in a designated 'white zone' waiting to be taken away by a sparsely furnished camper of some sort.
The alt-text in this could be a strip in itself. One imagines a line of Dudes Who Are Not Good standing in a designated 'white zone' waiting to be taken away by a sparsely furnished camper of some sort.
professor_bear
+0 -0
technically isn't molly already dead?
technically isn't molly already dead?
toiletstore
+0 -0
Shhhh...
Shhhh...
pogo
+0 -0
Cats have nine lives, remember?
Cats have nine lives, remember?
numberkillinger
+8 -0
I love that by panel 4, beef has realised that for molly to have breast implants would not rock on the whole, and yet he cannot derail his train of thought. (he is trying so hard to stop thinking in panel 6)
I love that by panel 4, beef has realised that for molly to have breast implants would not rock on the whole, and yet he cannot derail his train of thought. (he is trying so hard to stop thinking in panel 6)
hanrahahanrahan
+1 -0
and also the mix of horror and resigned despair in his expression in panel 7, when he realises how these thoughts are ending up.
and also the mix of horror and resigned despair in his expression in panel 7, when he realises how these thoughts are ending up.
vonhayes09
+0 -0
A comment left by vonhayes09 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, silver_lake, Thorfinn, arborwin, jmmfgd)
A comment left by vonhayes09 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, silver_lake, Thorfinn, arborwin, jmmfgd)
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
that answer could use some work!
that answer could use some work!
numberkillinger
+0 -0
would not read again.
would not read again.
thegoodwillgirl
+4 -0
Most of my Christmas morning memories already involve naked hysterics in empty tubs, so this surgery would not be a problem for me.
Most of my Christmas morning memories already involve naked hysterics in empty tubs, so this surgery would not be a problem for me.
crumpetsandtea
+1 -0
there IS a company for gathering men. its called hooters. but i guess thats what may have started this whole thing in the first place.
hooters: part of the problem? or the solution?
there IS a company for gathering men. its called hooters. but i guess thats what may have started this whole thing in the first place.
hooters: part of the problem? or the solution?
professorhazard
+1 -0
For men, a problem and a solution are often the same thing.
For men, a problem and a solution are often the same thing.
falseprophet
+1 -0
To Beer! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!
To Beer! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!
crumpetsandtea
+0 -2
fock. when will people realise that quoting the simpsons stopped being cool about 10 years ago.
fock. when will people realise that quoting the simpsons stopped being cool about 10 years ago.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Dude, that means it's totally retro!
Dude, that means it's totally retro!
crumpetsandtea
+0 -1
LOL, im surprised my comment didnt get like 100 lames.
LOL, im surprised my comment didnt get like 100 lames.
loneal
+4 -0
Actually, that's a really good point. Hooters as an institution is part of the problem. Hooters as a way of showing me a building full of people I can rule out as dates is part of the solution.
Actually, that's a really good point. Hooters as an institution is part of the problem. Hooters as a way of showing me a building full of people I can rule out as dates is part of the solution.
hamscout
+0 -0
A comment left by hamscout was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by doublechocolate, phthoggos, scrumpton, mortshire, nutmeg, hellofditties, Charlottien, mendenbar, seren_tremio, peterjoel)
A comment left by hamscout was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by doublechocolate, phthoggos, scrumpton, mortshire, nutmeg, hellofditties, Charlottien, mendenbar, seren_tremio, peterjoel)
loneal
+5 -0
Ugh, I've seen that thing, too. It makes my skin crawl. I mean, check out that chick in the back there. Why does she have a unibrow instead of eyes? Shouldn't she be the one complaining about sexism?
The secret truth, of course, is that feminists are just as hot as any other women, plus we come with the added bonus of thinking for ourselves! Though I imagine I am mainly preaching to the choir, as Achewood readers tend toward intelligence.
Ugh, I've seen that thing, too. It makes my skin crawl. I mean, check out that chick in the back there. Why does she have a unibrow instead of eyes? Shouldn't she be the one complaining about sexism?
The secret truth, of course, is that feminists are just as hot as any other women, plus we come with the added bonus of thinking for ourselves! Though I imagine I am mainly preaching to the choir, as Achewood readers tend toward intelligence.
heccibiggs
+2 -0
Yeah! Represent the feminists of Achewood!
Personally, I hate the chicks that work at Hooters more than the guys who go there. Actually, that's not true. Let's say I hate them both equally. But, yeah, I get it - it's easy work for okay pay and great tips. The only price is the undoing of the work of women trying to gain equality over the last century, and stating that yes, it is okay for women to be objectified and basically nothing more than sex objects who exist for the pleasure of men.
Plus, you're right; bitch is fugly.
(I'm pretty sure I've brought up feminism on at least 60% of recent strips.)
Yeah! Represent the feminists of Achewood!
Personally, I hate the chicks that work at Hooters more than the guys who go there. Actually, that's not true. Let's say I hate them both equally. But, yeah, I get it - it's easy work for okay pay and great tips. The only price is the undoing of the work of women trying to gain equality over the last century, and stating that yes, it is okay for women to be objectified and basically nothing more than sex objects who exist for the pleasure of men.
Plus, you're right; bitch is fugly.
(I'm pretty sure I've brought up feminism on at least 60% of recent strips.)
spinynorman
+0 -0
They have Hooterseses in England?
They have Hooterseses in England?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
No, but they have American TV shows.
No, but they have American TV shows.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Aaaah. Well, that seems like one of the worser things to migrate across the culture gap. Oh, well.
I've never been to a hooters. I understand they do the impossible and manage to make fried food taste horribly bad.
Aaaah. Well, that seems like one of the worser things to migrate across the culture gap. Oh, well.
I've never been to a hooters. I understand they do the impossible and manage to make fried food taste horribly bad.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
right on!
right on!
factorial
+2 -2
If you think it's objectification to have your physical attributes appreciated, perhaps you should wear a burqa to keep yourself from committing the same sin as the Hooters girls.
The truth is, most women want to be viewed as attractive and have equal rights. Just because you wear tight clothes at your job doesn't mean you're undoing the past century's feminist progress. Women dress in provocative clothing everywhere - not just at Hooters, and not just for pay. Doing so does not automatically forfeit your self-respect or sense of equality, and likewise being oggled doesn't make you merely an object.
If you think it's objectification to have your physical attributes appreciated, perhaps you should wear a burqa to keep yourself from committing the same sin as the Hooters girls.
The truth is, most women want to be viewed as attractive and have equal rights. Just because you wear tight clothes at your job doesn't mean you're undoing the past century's feminist progress. Women dress in provocative clothing everywhere - not just at Hooters, and not just for pay. Doing so does not automatically forfeit your self-respect or sense of equality, and likewise being oggled doesn't make you merely an object.
wittyname
+0 -0
What a well thought out response. But how is hooters any different from a strip club, where women ARE being objectified? The only difference I can tell is that strippers take off their clothes and turn tricks rather than serve food and bend over to show their cleavages.
What a well thought out response. But how is hooters any different from a strip club, where women ARE being objectified? The only difference I can tell is that strippers take off their clothes and turn tricks rather than serve food and bend over to show their cleavages.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
in strip clubs, greasy ladies are farther away from your food
in strip clubs, greasy ladies are farther away from your food
irondave
+0 -0
a: you may have a loose definition of "turn tricks."
b: Who is really being exploited at a strip club?
a: you may have a loose definition of "turn tricks."
b: Who is really being exploited at a strip club?
thorfinn
+0 -0
b: Me, I'm the one who wakes up the morning after his birthday with the worst hangover ever and $400 less than he had the night before.
b: Me, I'm the one who wakes up the morning after his birthday with the worst hangover ever and $400 less than he had the night before.
irondave
+0 -0
Bingo.
Bingo.
professorhazard
+0 -0
A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by whoper, crumpetsandtea, hellofditties)
A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by whoper, crumpetsandtea, hellofditties)
thorfinn
+0 -2
I think the center of the debate is that most women want to be attractive, but they don't want to be treated differently because men think they are attractive. Unless, of course, they are treated better because they are attractive, then it's OK. The anger only comes when they feel that the objectification is detrimental to them.
I think the center of the debate is that most women want to be attractive, but they don't want to be treated differently because men think they are attractive. Unless, of course, they are treated better because they are attractive, then it's OK. The anger only comes when they feel that the objectification is detrimental to them.
loneal
+2 -0
I'm going to have to call bullshit on this. All objectification (which is different from appreciating someone's looks in conjunction with their personality) is detrimental. I'm sure some women fit your description, but there are plenty of women (me included) who don't. I don't like men to pull out my chair for me, for example, and it's not because I think they're just trying to get in my pants. It's because I think they are looking at me as a one-dimensional gender stereotype (i.e., an object) instead of as a person.
I'm going to have to call bullshit on this. All objectification (which is different from appreciating someone's looks in conjunction with their personality) is detrimental. I'm sure some women fit your description, but there are plenty of women (me included) who don't. I don't like men to pull out my chair for me, for example, and it's not because I think they're just trying to get in my pants. It's because I think they are looking at me as a one-dimensional gender stereotype (i.e., an object) instead of as a person.
heccibiggs
+1 -0
Yeah, exactly. Thorfinn, you're describing the idea that women are happy being appreciated for nothing more than their looks. Well, of course, some women are - but for the most part, we like to think that we have more to offer than just standing there and looking pretty.
In summary; you know nothing about women.
Yeah, exactly. Thorfinn, you're describing the idea that women are happy being appreciated for nothing more than their looks. Well, of course, some women are - but for the most part, we like to think that we have more to offer than just standing there and looking pretty.
In summary; you know nothing about women.
thorfinn
+0 -0
A comment left by thorfinn was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, whoper, old_chap)
A comment left by thorfinn was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, whoper, old_chap)
spinynorman
+0 -0
Well, that's not particularly fun at all.
Well, that's not particularly fun at all.
loneal
+0 -0
Chyeah, neither is living as a woman in a patriarchal society. (Although I suppose it isn't great living as a man in a patriarchal society either, but it's more great than being a woman in the same society.)
Chyeah, neither is living as a woman in a patriarchal society. (Although I suppose it isn't great living as a man in a patriarchal society either, but it's more great than being a woman in the same society.)
professorhazard
+0 -0
Lamed for not sticking to your guns
Lamed for not sticking to your guns
loneal
+0 -0
I would chubby you for recanting, but I'm out. I admire people who can admit they're wrong or change their opinions based on new evidence. Especially when they're admitting I'm right.
I would chubby you for recanting, but I'm out. I admire people who can admit they're wrong or change their opinions based on new evidence. Especially when they're admitting I'm right.
thorfinn
+0 -0
This is in response to your earlier post about men pulling out chairs and whatnot. I always hold doors and pull out chairs for dates, but I don't believe it necessarily reinforces gender stereotypes. I always just thought of it as a nice thing to do, not because I think of the woman as inferior, but rather to show her that I think she is special. I don't feel that being a gentleman implies that the lady is beneath me, but rather that I am glad that she wants to spend time with me and want to make sure that she knows this.
This is in response to your earlier post about men pulling out chairs and whatnot. I always hold doors and pull out chairs for dates, but I don't believe it necessarily reinforces gender stereotypes. I always just thought of it as a nice thing to do, not because I think of the woman as inferior, but rather to show her that I think she is special. I don't feel that being a gentleman implies that the lady is beneath me, but rather that I am glad that she wants to spend time with me and want to make sure that she knows this.
loneal
+1 -1
Yeah, the whole concept of that old-fashioned chivalry type of etiquette is pretty problematic. On the one hand, it's almost always done with good intentions. On the other hand, it does reinforce outdated gender roles. I appreciate that men are trying to be nice when they do that sort of stuff, but I don't want to be treated as special because of my gender, especially when that special treatment implies to many that I'm delicate or fragile or incapable of doing practical everyday things for myself. Maybe pulling out chairs for your girlfriend of a year is different from pulling out a chair for a girl on your first date with her; the first would be treating her as special because of what she means to you personally, whereas the second would be based only on gender.
Also, though I'm sure this doesn't apply to you, there are a lot of guys out there who consider themselves respectful of women because they open doors and pull out chairs, but who wouldn't think to help their wife with laundry, or who wouldn't date women who are smarter than they are because they'd be intimidated. That chivalrous etiquette is part of an old set of values where men and women have very specific roles (men go to work and pull out chairs for ladies, who stay at home to cook and raise the children). It's very easy for those forms of politeness to become a way of blinding yourself to your own internalized sexism, because you think there's no way you could be a sexist when you go out of your way to treat women well by opening doors for them.
I don't know. It's certainly not the most egregious error against feminism, and I'm sure there are plenty of women who'd disagree with me, but all in all, I'm pretty against that kind of thing.
Yeah, the whole concept of that old-fashioned chivalry type of etiquette is pretty problematic. On the one hand, it's almost always done with good intentions. On the other hand, it does reinforce outdated gender roles. I appreciate that men are trying to be nice when they do that sort of stuff, but I don't want to be treated as special because of my gender, especially when that special treatment implies to many that I'm delicate or fragile or incapable of doing practical everyday things for myself. Maybe pulling out chairs for your girlfriend of a year is different from pulling out a chair for a girl on your first date with her; the first would be treating her as special because of what she means to you personally, whereas the second would be based only on gender.
Also, though I'm sure this doesn't apply to you, there are a lot of guys out there who consider themselves respectful of women because they open doors and pull out chairs, but who wouldn't think to help their wife with laundry, or who wouldn't date women who are smarter than they are because they'd be intimidated. That chivalrous etiquette is part of an old set of values where men and women have very specific roles (men go to work and pull out chairs for ladies, who stay at home to cook and raise the children). It's very easy for those forms of politeness to become a way of blinding yourself to your own internalized sexism, because you think there's no way you could be a sexist when you go out of your way to treat women well by opening doors for them.
I don't know. It's certainly not the most egregious error against feminism, and I'm sure there are plenty of women who'd disagree with me, but all in all, I'm pretty against that kind of thing.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I think it's one of those gray areas where the action is not intrinsically sexist, but the motivation behind the action could make it so. When I hold a door for a woman, it is to show her that I think she is special. This is even true on a first date, because even if I do not know the woman that well, there is something special about her that made me want to date her in the first place.
There are, however, a lot of guys that are just like you described, holding doors and pulling out chairs solely for the purpose of appearing to respect women. Their only motivation is trying to make the woman they are dating think that they are respectful, as they believe that this will aid them in bedding their date more rapidly. These guys give the rest of us a bad name, as well as making it far more difficult for you ladies to tell the difference between a guy who is truly sincere and one who is just trying to get into your pants.
If I knew that a woman I was dating was uncomfortable with me holding doors or pulling out chairs, I would stop, but everyone I've dated seems to appreciate the gesture, because everyone, male or female, likes to feel special.
I think it's one of those gray areas where the action is not intrinsically sexist, but the motivation behind the action could make it so. When I hold a door for a woman, it is to show her that I think she is special. This is even true on a first date, because even if I do not know the woman that well, there is something special about her that made me want to date her in the first place.
There are, however, a lot of guys that are just like you described, holding doors and pulling out chairs solely for the purpose of appearing to respect women. Their only motivation is trying to make the woman they are dating think that they are respectful, as they believe that this will aid them in bedding their date more rapidly. These guys give the rest of us a bad name, as well as making it far more difficult for you ladies to tell the difference between a guy who is truly sincere and one who is just trying to get into your pants.
If I knew that a woman I was dating was uncomfortable with me holding doors or pulling out chairs, I would stop, but everyone I've dated seems to appreciate the gesture, because everyone, male or female, likes to feel special.
loneal
+0 -0
Interestingly enough, I don't have a problem with guys wanting to get into my pants. But guys who try to do so by pulling out my chair for me will be sorely disappointed by the results. I would much rather have a dude just straight up hit on me. I am willing to accept that I might be in the minority here.
Interestingly enough, I don't have a problem with guys wanting to get into my pants. But guys who try to do so by pulling out my chair for me will be sorely disappointed by the results. I would much rather have a dude just straight up hit on me. I am willing to accept that I might be in the minority here.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
No, you're right, that would work far better with me too.
No, you're right, that would work far better with me too.
thorfinn
+0 -0
By "just trying to get into your pants", I meant the "hey, she looks hot, I'm gonna try and bang her" sort of guy, rather than the "She seems pretty interesting, and she's attractive to boot, I would like to get to know this girl" type
By "just trying to get into your pants", I meant the "hey, she looks hot, I'm gonna try and bang her" sort of guy, rather than the "She seems pretty interesting, and she's attractive to boot, I would like to get to know this girl" type
thorfinn
+0 -0
I personally am of the "This girl is great, she's smart, funny, great to talk to, and on top of all that, she's hot. She's so great, there's no way she'd ever be interested in me, so it's pointless to even try." type
I personally am of the "This girl is great, she's smart, funny, great to talk to, and on top of all that, she's hot. She's so great, there's no way she'd ever be interested in me, so it's pointless to even try." type
loneal
+0 -0
Hmm. I'm trying to examine my own views and see if they are contradictory. I guess I don't mind a guy hitting on me because he thinks I'm good-looking, as long as it's in an everyday sort of setting. If I meet a guy in class who flirts with me upon meeting me, I'm not offended by that. I rather enjoy it, in fact. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where my job was just to look good, in which I existed in a fixed location which men knew they could come to in order to ogle good-looking women.
And either way, if a guy was just trying to bang me based only on my looks, I'd much rather have him hit on me sleazily than pull out chairs for me. I appreciate a certain level of honesty and frankness. I actually don't even mind catcalls, though it seems most women do, and I can definitely understand why.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself.
Hmm. I'm trying to examine my own views and see if they are contradictory. I guess I don't mind a guy hitting on me because he thinks I'm good-looking, as long as it's in an everyday sort of setting. If I meet a guy in class who flirts with me upon meeting me, I'm not offended by that. I rather enjoy it, in fact. I wouldn't want to be in a situation where my job was just to look good, in which I existed in a fixed location which men knew they could come to in order to ogle good-looking women.
And either way, if a guy was just trying to bang me based only on my looks, I'd much rather have him hit on me sleazily than pull out chairs for me. I appreciate a certain level of honesty and frankness. I actually don't even mind catcalls, though it seems most women do, and I can definitely understand why.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I don't think you are contradicting yourself, you are actually clarifying some of the statements you made earlier. Being desired makes a person feel good, regardless of what they are being desired for (except in those weird, creepy stalker situations, but we're not talking about those here). While you may not be interested in guys who only appreciate you for your looks, it still makes you feel good that they think you're hot. The honesty thing makes sense too, as it's nice to know where you stand with people, rather than having to figure out what they actually want while they put up a front to conceal their true motives.
I don't think you are contradicting yourself, you are actually clarifying some of the statements you made earlier. Being desired makes a person feel good, regardless of what they are being desired for (except in those weird, creepy stalker situations, but we're not talking about those here). While you may not be interested in guys who only appreciate you for your looks, it still makes you feel good that they think you're hot. The honesty thing makes sense too, as it's nice to know where you stand with people, rather than having to figure out what they actually want while they put up a front to conceal their true motives.
farqussus
+0 -1
Maybe some people do nice things for other people because they are nice things to do.
Sexism is usually in the eye of the beholder.
Maybe some people do nice things for other people because they are nice things to do.
Sexism is usually in the eye of the beholder.
loneal
+0 -0
Maybe some well-meaning people do things they think are nice for other people because they don't fully understand their implications.
Sexism in forms small or large is practically always present in every aspect of our society (and it cuts both ways; I think there is a lot of misandry round these parts, too, though not as much as misogyny).
Maybe some well-meaning people do things they think are nice for other people because they don't fully understand their implications.
Sexism in forms small or large is practically always present in every aspect of our society (and it cuts both ways; I think there is a lot of misandry round these parts, too, though not as much as misogyny).
spinynorman
+4 -0
People who are okay with making their identity all about one thing (as in sexuality or gender) are usually pretty boring, because you always know what they're going to say. (It's always going to relate to their sexuality, either in content or in intent.)
Being boring is the worst sin of all.
Boring means having nothing useful or new to add to basic human interactions. Boring means being predictable. It means being unenlightened, it means being uninspired, being simple or being traditional for no other reason than being frightened of being new.
Sexism is boring. As is racism. I know I should probably care about the morality of such opinions before caring about their originality, but that's what gets me first - that people can still hold such little narrow opinions that I already know and have already been debated and defeated a long time ago.
I don't particularly care about what you do with your crazy bits, and I don't care what chromosome kicked into action when you were being developed in your mother's uterus and it made you have girl parts or boy parts or this type of skin or that. That's all boring, and arbitrary, and moreover it's a matter of chance than observation, deliberation, and action.
In short, what you say or do independent of all characteristics says volumes more than who you are. If you can take your actions and opinions and place them in a vacuum independent of yourself and if it's still pretty cool to think about, well, you're something. You're worth listening to. You're worth everyone's time.
It's probably harder than it sounds.
Then again, maybe I've been drinking apple whisky for two hours and I'm feeling like I got a lot of sharp edges right now.
People who are okay with making their identity all about one thing (as in sexuality or gender) are usually pretty boring, because you always know what they're going to say. (It's always going to relate to their sexuality, either in content or in intent.)
Being boring is the worst sin of all.
Boring means having nothing useful or new to add to basic human interactions. Boring means being predictable. It means being unenlightened, it means being uninspired, being simple or being traditional for no other reason than being frightened of being new.
Sexism is boring. As is racism. I know I should probably care about the morality of such opinions before caring about their originality, but that's what gets me first - that people can still hold such little narrow opinions that I already know and have already been debated and defeated a long time ago.
I don't particularly care about what you do with your crazy bits, and I don't care what chromosome kicked into action when you were being developed in your mother's uterus and it made you have girl parts or boy parts or this type of skin or that. That's all boring, and arbitrary, and moreover it's a matter of chance than observation, deliberation, and action.
In short, what you say or do independent of all characteristics says volumes more than who you are. If you can take your actions and opinions and place them in a vacuum independent of yourself and if it's still pretty cool to think about, well, you're something. You're worth listening to. You're worth everyone's time.
It's probably harder than it sounds.
Then again, maybe I've been drinking apple whisky for two hours and I'm feeling like I got a lot of sharp edges right now.
hamscout
+2 -0
And to think that all this spirited conversation happened because I posted a lame, off-color email joke...
WAIT! Did... Did I just solve sexism?!?
And to think that all this spirited conversation happened because I posted a lame, off-color email joke...
WAIT! Did... Did I just solve sexism?!?
davey-boy
+0 -0
A vote of respect to the man who can devote a significant piece of enlightened editorial to fill a space that will hereafter be seldomn looked at hereafter. Apple rum be damned, I love what you are saying, and the fact that you are saying it.
A vote of respect to the man who can devote a significant piece of enlightened editorial to fill a space that will hereafter be seldomn looked at hereafter. Apple rum be damned, I love what you are saying, and the fact that you are saying it.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
Sir, not only do you have a profile entirely composed of A Bit of Fry and Laurie quotes, but you share opinions that would make Oscar Wilde want to give you Maximum Cuddles. Probably the young, idealistic Wilde in velvet breeches, rather than the old, bitter Wilde in cream suits, too. I have to buy you a drink sometime.
Sir, not only do you have a profile entirely composed of A Bit of Fry and Laurie quotes, but you share opinions that would make Oscar Wilde want to give you Maximum Cuddles. Probably the young, idealistic Wilde in velvet breeches, rather than the old, bitter Wilde in cream suits, too. I have to buy you a drink sometime.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
So much potential for masculine hooting about breasts, and here we have a sensible, interesting feminist discussion. You people? All great.
I'm going to weigh in despite the conversation being an old one, just to share something that came to mind while reading. It's nothing grand or new, just a distinction that popped into my head: there's gestures like door-opening or such that go coupled with "please, let me" - as in "I like helping people; may I help you, please?". Then there's such gestures that go coupled with "let me HELP you with that" - the sort Teodor says to Ray when he's being foolish with fonts. As in "I couldn't possibly bear standing here watching you ineffectually try to open that door yourself; it's my duty to, and besides, your feebleness disgusts me."
Alright, that's hyperbole, and I don't think hyperbole usually has a place in such discussions - it just creates a third party everyone can hate rather than resolving anything - but does it sort of make sense? That if people only perfomed such gestures because they just plain like opening doors and holding chairs, it'd happen a lot less, but it'd be a lot more honest and a lot less skeezy and dehumanising?
So much potential for masculine hooting about breasts, and here we have a sensible, interesting feminist discussion. You people? All great.
I'm going to weigh in despite the conversation being an old one, just to share something that came to mind while reading. It's nothing grand or new, just a distinction that popped into my head: there's gestures like door-opening or such that go coupled with "please, let me" - as in "I like helping people; may I help you, please?". Then there's such gestures that go coupled with "let me HELP you with that" - the sort Teodor says to Ray when he's being foolish with fonts. As in "I couldn't possibly bear standing here watching you ineffectually try to open that door yourself; it's my duty to, and besides, your feebleness disgusts me."
Alright, that's hyperbole, and I don't think hyperbole usually has a place in such discussions - it just creates a third party everyone can hate rather than resolving anything - but does it sort of make sense? That if people only perfomed such gestures because they just plain like opening doors and holding chairs, it'd happen a lot less, but it'd be a lot more honest and a lot less skeezy and dehumanising?
dissembly
+1 -0
"All objectification (which is different from appreciating someone's looks in conjunction with their personality) is detrimental"
I totally disagree. I think your own argument is unravelled by the convoluted way you phrased it - condoning "appreciating someone's looks in conjunction with their personality".
If you literally mean this, then you're saying objectifying is okay, as long as you know whether or not somebody has the same hobbies as you. Which sounds a little bit ridiculous, both from a logical standpoint, and a practical standpoint. (If you see somebody walking down the street, and find them attractive, do you feel suddenly guilty unless you run up to them and quiz them on their life?)
I would agree that "de-subjectifying" somebody is bad - treating them like a 'thing' with no perspective of their own. But that is not what most non-psychopathic people do when they ogle somebody.
Re: the whole strippers thing. There are strippers who consider themselves feminists, and see no contradiction in what they do. (We just had a public meeting in my neighbourhood about this issue; i've met some of these people.) For them, their audience is not "looking at [them] as a one-dimensional gender stereotype" - neither do they need to add the disclaimer "you can look at me as long as you are aware of my interest in nuclear physics".
"Appreciating the way someone looks" is not the same thing as stripping them of their subjectivity.
At the same time, there are people who DO do this; like i said, psychopaths, misogynists, idiots - and this is prevalent in our society. But the hate THEY deserve should not be showered upon Hooters waitresses, strippers, and everyone who's ever ogled somebody.
"All objectification (which is different from appreciating someone's looks in conjunction with their personality) is detrimental"
I totally disagree. I think your own argument is unravelled by the convoluted way you phrased it - condoning "appreciating someone's looks in conjunction with their personality".
If you literally mean this, then you're saying objectifying is okay, as long as you know whether or not somebody has the same hobbies as you. Which sounds a little bit ridiculous, both from a logical standpoint, and a practical standpoint. (If you see somebody walking down the street, and find them attractive, do you feel suddenly guilty unless you run up to them and quiz them on their life?)
I would agree that "de-subjectifying" somebody is bad - treating them like a 'thing' with no perspective of their own. But that is not what most non-psychopathic people do when they ogle somebody.
Re: the whole strippers thing. There are strippers who consider themselves feminists, and see no contradiction in what they do. (We just had a public meeting in my neighbourhood about this issue; i've met some of these people.) For them, their audience is not "looking at [them] as a one-dimensional gender stereotype" - neither do they need to add the disclaimer "you can look at me as long as you are aware of my interest in nuclear physics".
"Appreciating the way someone looks" is not the same thing as stripping them of their subjectivity.
At the same time, there are people who DO do this; like i said, psychopaths, misogynists, idiots - and this is prevalent in our society. But the hate THEY deserve should not be showered upon Hooters waitresses, strippers, and everyone who's ever ogled somebody.
loneal
+0 -0
I don't hate on the Hooters girls, really, but there is a difference between working at Hooters and wearing provocative clothing on the street. I like to have my physical attributes appreciated, but not at the expense of my other, more important attributes. The vast majority of the folks who patronize Hooters are objectifying the waitresses. They don't go in there and think, "Man, this girl has a great sense of humor and awesome tits!" They go in there to appreciate women only as objects. I think that's a problem to take up more with the customers than with the waitresses, but either way, it's hella lame.
I don't hate on the Hooters girls, really, but there is a difference between working at Hooters and wearing provocative clothing on the street. I like to have my physical attributes appreciated, but not at the expense of my other, more important attributes. The vast majority of the folks who patronize Hooters are objectifying the waitresses. They don't go in there and think, "Man, this girl has a great sense of humor and awesome tits!" They go in there to appreciate women only as objects. I think that's a problem to take up more with the customers than with the waitresses, but either way, it's hella lame.
tekende
+0 -0
And the girls who work there know this. Nobody's forcing them to work at Hooters. Maybe they like it. Maybe they don't care if they're being objectified, eh?
But the waitresses are, by their own choice and actions, putting themselves in a situation in which they might as well hold up a sign reading "OBJECTIFY ME!"
My point is that Hooters waitresses can't complain about being objectified because it's their own choice. And other women are free to complain if they want but it just makes them look petty to me. Why should they care? If Patty is happy about/okay with having a job which causes men to objectify her, why does that matter to or affect Jane?
And the girls who work there know this. Nobody's forcing them to work at Hooters. Maybe they like it. Maybe they don't care if they're being objectified, eh?
But the waitresses are, by their own choice and actions, putting themselves in a situation in which they might as well hold up a sign reading "OBJECTIFY ME!"
My point is that Hooters waitresses can't complain about being objectified because it's their own choice. And other women are free to complain if they want but it just makes them look petty to me. Why should they care? If Patty is happy about/okay with having a job which causes men to objectify her, why does that matter to or affect Jane?
loneal
+1 -0
Because Patty's acceptance of her objectification is part of a huge social system wherein the objectification of women is deemed acceptable. More than acceptable, it's normal. Both Patty and Jane are a part of that system, and when Patty strengthens that system, it affects Jane indirectly.
But, like I said, I don't really hate on the Hooters girls. They are doing more good in the world than, say, women who lobby for abstinence-only sex education in schools. I don't think becoming a waitress at Hooters is the best choice in the world, but I'd rather criticize the system than the waitresses. Their choice to work at Hooters is, after all, largely a byproduct of that system.
Because Patty's acceptance of her objectification is part of a huge social system wherein the objectification of women is deemed acceptable. More than acceptable, it's normal. Both Patty and Jane are a part of that system, and when Patty strengthens that system, it affects Jane indirectly.
But, like I said, I don't really hate on the Hooters girls. They are doing more good in the world than, say, women who lobby for abstinence-only sex education in schools. I don't think becoming a waitress at Hooters is the best choice in the world, but I'd rather criticize the system than the waitresses. Their choice to work at Hooters is, after all, largely a byproduct of that system.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Judge the audience, not the author/exotic dancer. I'm actually with Tekende on this one. Back in the day, places like Hooters might have been representative of the greater trend of prejudice against women, but in our modern society such places are pretty easily in a decline in popularity. If a guy goes into Hooters, he's likely not harbouring any misconceptions about how the girls in there are representative of the gender as a whole. He probably isn't going to come out again with a significantly lowered perception of females. Well, some might, but the actions of idiots are hard to account for.
I personally don't think that the continued existence of places like Hooters is having a negative effect on the progress of the feminist movement. Strippers, prostitutes, glamour models (New term to me) and all the other professions that centre around making money through the use of one's physical attributes will likely always exist, and simply because of the greater desire of men to seek satisfaction in the area, there will likely be an equal tendency towards females in such professions.
But it's how others view these things that really matter. Like I said, in our current society we'd be more likely to judge the clients of such an establishment than the employees, and quite rightly. Like someone glibly commented earlier, it's the idiocy of men that is being exploited, more than the physicality of women.
Judge the audience, not the author/exotic dancer. I'm actually with Tekende on this one. Back in the day, places like Hooters might have been representative of the greater trend of prejudice against women, but in our modern society such places are pretty easily in a decline in popularity. If a guy goes into Hooters, he's likely not harbouring any misconceptions about how the girls in there are representative of the gender as a whole. He probably isn't going to come out again with a significantly lowered perception of females. Well, some might, but the actions of idiots are hard to account for.
I personally don't think that the continued existence of places like Hooters is having a negative effect on the progress of the feminist movement. Strippers, prostitutes, glamour models (New term to me) and all the other professions that centre around making money through the use of one's physical attributes will likely always exist, and simply because of the greater desire of men to seek satisfaction in the area, there will likely be an equal tendency towards females in such professions.
But it's how others view these things that really matter. Like I said, in our current society we'd be more likely to judge the clients of such an establishment than the employees, and quite rightly. Like someone glibly commented earlier, it's the idiocy of men that is being exploited, more than the physicality of women.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
plus the food there kinda sucks
plus the food there kinda sucks
seren_tremio
+0 -0
I'm a feminist and I don't really have a problem with the Hooters girls. As long as a person understands there's nothing wrong with not fitting that mold, I don't think it's wrong to appreciate a certain type of beauty. My problem is with all the "should-nots" people tend to toss out... one side saying "you should not allow someone to stare at you like that," the other side saying "you should not set your own boundaries" or "you should not be fat, you should not go without makeup, etc"
I'm a feminist and I don't really have a problem with the Hooters girls. As long as a person understands there's nothing wrong with not fitting that mold, I don't think it's wrong to appreciate a certain type of beauty. My problem is with all the "should-nots" people tend to toss out... one side saying "you should not allow someone to stare at you like that," the other side saying "you should not set your own boundaries" or "you should not be fat, you should not go without makeup, etc"
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm going to completely detract from your intended message here by pointing out the potential double-entendre in "great tips".
I'm going to completely detract from your intended message here by pointing out the potential double-entendre in "great tips".
dissembly
+0 -0
I don't understand how someone could "hate" either of them, least of all the girls who work there.
The girls are trying to make a living, and probably being treated pretty badly in some ways in the process. Most people in the world have that experience; and it's not (all) controlled by sexism, it's money.
The customers could be good or bad, there's nothing controlling how they interpret what they're doing. I would vary my hate for them based on how they treat the staff.
If anyone deserves the hate, it's the people who own the franchise, exploiting both their employees and the wider cultural situation.
I don't understand how someone could "hate" either of them, least of all the girls who work there.
The girls are trying to make a living, and probably being treated pretty badly in some ways in the process. Most people in the world have that experience; and it's not (all) controlled by sexism, it's money.
The customers could be good or bad, there's nothing controlling how they interpret what they're doing. I would vary my hate for them based on how they treat the staff.
If anyone deserves the hate, it's the people who own the franchise, exploiting both their employees and the wider cultural situation.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -2
haha, id date the girls tho
haha, id date the girls tho
loneal
+1 -0
Oh shit oh shit ! I thought your avatar was a crab with eyestalks, but it was actually someone stretching out in bed! Crap!
Oh shit oh shit ! I thought your avatar was a crab with eyestalks, but it was actually someone stretching out in bed! Crap!
tekende
+0 -0
Holy FUCK I wish you hadn't pointed that out. I thought it was a crab too. I was happier then.
Holy FUCK I wish you hadn't pointed that out. I thought it was a crab too. I was happier then.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
HO! now you have to look at my feet when i talk >:)
HO! now you have to look at my feet when i talk >:)
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
its meeeeeeeeeee! :D
its meeeeeeeeeee! :D
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
why did i get lamed for wanting to date hooters girls!? They need love too
why did i get lamed for wanting to date hooters girls!? They need love too
soupkaty
+0 -0
hm. my feelings on hooters are in the negatives.
the wings are not that great, and i felt creepier there than i did at a strip club.
just something not right about hooters.
hm. my feelings on hooters are in the negatives.
the wings are not that great, and i felt creepier there than i did at a strip club.
just something not right about hooters.
ford
+0 -1
My feelings on Hooters are thus: If you can afford to go to hooters weekly, you can afford to go to a strip club biweekly, or a brothel monthly. Do that instead (Note: I do not do these things, because i have the internet )
My feelings on Hooters are thus: If you can afford to go to hooters weekly, you can afford to go to a strip club biweekly, or a brothel monthly. Do that instead (Note: I do not do these things, because i have the internet )
soupkaty
+0 -0
Agreed in that Hooters just implies the things that people go to strip clubs for so why not just go to a strip club.
I've only been to one once on a whim, and it was the lollest experience I've had to date, what with them putting out popcorn at one point in order to encourage more $6 drink ordering. I also went with another girl, which apparently can't happen unless you have a male escort, which is kind of bizarre.
I would not do it twice a week.
I do, however, suggest the idea whenever any of my friends decouple.
Agreed in that Hooters just implies the things that people go to strip clubs for so why not just go to a strip club.
I've only been to one once on a whim, and it was the lollest experience I've had to date, what with them putting out popcorn at one point in order to encourage more $6 drink ordering. I also went with another girl, which apparently can't happen unless you have a male escort, which is kind of bizarre.
I would not do it twice a week.
I do, however, suggest the idea whenever any of my friends decouple.
powderfinger
+0 -0
all the wings you can eat on a wensday night for 8 dollars makes up for their lack of quality, and all the shady guys you have to encounter making obvious innuendos to the staff
all the wings you can eat on a wensday night for 8 dollars makes up for their lack of quality, and all the shady guys you have to encounter making obvious innuendos to the staff
soupkaty
+0 -0
Maybe my experience was marred by going on a weekend night and the check totaling to more than $70 for 4 people. I ate a damned appetizer.
Buffalo Wild Wings > Hooters
But if I want wings, there's an insane abundance of places I can find them here. Sometimes, these places also serve chinese food or tamales or chicken and waffles, in the case of Dixie Queen or Yums. And its all on the cheap. :D
Maybe my experience was marred by going on a weekend night and the check totaling to more than $70 for 4 people. I ate a damned appetizer.
Buffalo Wild Wings > Hooters
But if I want wings, there's an insane abundance of places I can find them here. Sometimes, these places also serve chinese food or tamales or chicken and waffles, in the case of Dixie Queen or Yums. And its all on the cheap. :D
thorfinn
+0 -0
I have never been to Hooters, but I assume that their food can't possibly be very good. If your signature item is going to be wings, they better be some damn good wings, I mean like an orgasm in edible form. Wings are ridiculously simple and I have yet to eat restaurant wings that are as good as what I can make for much less money.
I have never been to Hooters, but I assume that their food can't possibly be very good. If your signature item is going to be wings, they better be some damn good wings, I mean like an orgasm in edible form. Wings are ridiculously simple and I have yet to eat restaurant wings that are as good as what I can make for much less money.
nymphadoria
+0 -0
That's what men don't understand. One day you send your girlfriend in for some nice breast implants..next thing you know she's married to God and you're left alone eating Fritos on the couch at 3 in the morning sobbing over the misery of your current life.
That's what men don't understand. One day you send your girlfriend in for some nice breast implants..next thing you know she's married to God and you're left alone eating Fritos on the couch at 3 in the morning sobbing over the misery of your current life.
professorhazard
+1 -1
We understand it. It's a calculated gamble.
We understand it. It's a calculated gamble.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Hey, at least then she's not bitching at you to do the dishes.
Hey, at least then she's not bitching at you to do the dishes.
sncether
+3 -0
Plus, hey, Fritos.
Plus, hey, Fritos.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Maybe that doesn't sound so bad after all.
Maybe that doesn't sound so bad after all.
dovey
+2 -0
Hey, Futurama's on!
Hey, Futurama's on!
zadig
+0 -0
You know what? I can feel good about this turn of events. And I will .
You know what? I can feel good about this turn of events. And I will .
professorhazard
+0 -0
We just have to look at it like it's a challenge.
We just have to look at it like it's a challenge.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
SO TRUE
SO TRUE
evolume
+8 -0
...
Chewing Gum Breast Syndrome 9%
Breasts interfere with Cell Phone Reception 12%
Pointing at Things with Irregular Nipples 6.4%
Friends are Actually Just Jealous 68%
Tarantula was a Female, Eggs Laid 3%
...
Chewing Gum Breast Syndrome 9%
Breasts interfere with Cell Phone Reception 12%
Pointing at Things with Irregular Nipples 6.4%
Friends are Actually Just Jealous 68%
Tarantula was a Female, Eggs Laid 3%
stevepants
+0 -0
frame 2 had me punching myself in hysterics.
frame 2 had me punching myself in hysterics.
snowman
+0 -0
You know how people always say that they cried over an Achewood strip, like, literally shed tears? Well, I never have, and in fact I always kind of thought that was bullshit, but I'll tell ya...this strip is the closest I've come to it. I think it would be fair to say I was "choked up."
You know how people always say that they cried over an Achewood strip, like, literally shed tears? Well, I never have, and in fact I always kind of thought that was bullshit, but I'll tell ya...this strip is the closest I've come to it. I think it would be fair to say I was "choked up."
redmange
+0 -0
Molly dieing of boob infection would not rock in the least.
Molly dieing of boob infection would not rock in the least.
fidelio-roo
+0 -0
That is depressing, hilarious, and thoughtful all at the same time.
That is depressing, hilarious, and thoughtful all at the same time.
neonfreon
+0 -0
Risk of Dr. Andretti Walking in on Ray Peeing within 24 Hours of Surgery: 34.23%
Risk of Dr. Andretti Walking in on Ray Peeing within 24 Hours of Surgery: 34.23%
professorhazard
+1 -0
That is a very conservative estimate.
That is a very conservative estimate.
mattfish
+1 -0
Empty Tub and the Naked Hysterics is totally the name of my new band.
Empty Tub and the Naked Hysterics is totally the name of my new band.
envika
+0 -0
call dave barry up, we have a winner!
call dave barry up, we have a winner!
little_angry_plum
+0 -1
does molly ever do anything besides lecture?
no. no she does not.
why is it that when Pat lectures, he is the butt of the joke, but when molly lectures, she is not the butt of the joke?
does molly ever do anything besides lecture?
no. no she does not.
why is it that when Pat lectures, he is the butt of the joke, but when molly lectures, she is not the butt of the joke?
miku224
+2 -0
Molly's lectures are legit, and she's almost always lecturing Beef. We might as well all admit that Beef often needs to be reminded of certain things.
Pat, on the other hand, will lecture anyone within earshot, and on topics that none of the other characters seem to care about.
Also, being engaged to someone means having to listen to their lectures. No one (thank heavens) is engaged to Pat.
Molly's lectures are legit, and she's almost always lecturing Beef. We might as well all admit that Beef often needs to be reminded of certain things.
Pat, on the other hand, will lecture anyone within earshot, and on topics that none of the other characters seem to care about.
Also, being engaged to someone means having to listen to their lectures. No one (thank heavens) is engaged to Pat.
irondave
+0 -0
And, the legitimacy of Molly's lectures derives in some part from her love for Beef. Pat loves only (maybe) Pat. This makes his lectures tiresome.
And, the legitimacy of Molly's lectures derives in some part from her love for Beef. Pat loves only (maybe) Pat. This makes his lectures tiresome.
jordstar
+0 -0
Rod Huggins is engaged with Pat...
badump bump tssshh
Rod Huggins is engaged with Pat...
badump bump tssshh
maximus
+0 -0
It may be off topic, but I just tiled your avatar on my Desktop and now understand escrow
It may be off topic, but I just tiled your avatar on my Desktop and now understand escrow
miku224
+0 -0
You can Understand a lot of things that way.
You can Understand a lot of things that way.
phthoggos
+1 -0
Because Molly is the "perfect woman" figure. She has personality, but no flaws.* Also, when they get involved with guys like Beef, they tend to get put on pedestals.
*Except maybe Sting
Because Molly is the "perfect woman" figure. She has personality, but no flaws.* Also, when they get involved with guys like Beef, they tend to get put on pedestals.
*Except maybe Sting
mrpoopytime
+0 -0
I disagree with this. Molly isn't perfect. She left Beef when he was uncomfortable about moving in with her. She is just more of a subtle imperfect than the other characters, though, because no one really says anything bad about her or seems to notice her mistakes. She's a lady, after all.
I disagree with this. Molly isn't perfect. She left Beef when he was uncomfortable about moving in with her. She is just more of a subtle imperfect than the other characters, though, because no one really says anything bad about her or seems to notice her mistakes. She's a lady, after all.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Very good. Thank you.
Very good. Thank you.
epicurus
+0 -0
Maybe I'm just too much of an ass man at heart but I could never imagine asking a girl to get breast implants. Not to mention I don't want any taco-colours boobs that is no type of action at all .
Maybe I'm just too much of an ass man at heart but I could never imagine asking a girl to get breast implants. Not to mention I don't want any taco-colours boobs that is no type of action at all .
vincentkv
+2 -1
There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it would be a pity to damage Molly's
There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it would be a pity to damage Molly's
wittyname
+0 -0
Realize that you made that comment about a cat from a comic, and feel bad for what you just said.
Realize that you made that comment about a cat from a comic, and feel bad for what you just said.
daidai
+0 -0
She's a cat.
She's a cat.
sncether
+0 -0
So she has 6 spares.
So she has 6 spares.
softerworld
+0 -1
okay I don't know if anyone has posted this yet (307 comments, what do you expect?) but does beef's thought bubble strike anyone else as vaguely reminiscent of yesterday's 'prostitute'?
okay I don't know if anyone has posted this yet (307 comments, what do you expect?) but does beef's thought bubble strike anyone else as vaguely reminiscent of yesterday's 'prostitute'?
heccibiggs
+0 -1
No.
No.
No.
No.
joebot
+0 -0
Funny story. I know a dude who CANNOT ESCAPE BREAST IMPLANTS. His sister (who was also a stripper who got in trouble with the law for having a human skull or some some shit in her apt) got them, and he hated her for it. Then he starts dating this chick who happens to have massive bubblies . He later finds out that, alas, his girlfriend also has breast implants. I think he broke up with her for that reason, but they were pretty obvious. POINT OF STORY: Do not ever get robot boobs if you plan on appealing to the general populace. I mean, come on ladies.
Funny story. I know a dude who CANNOT ESCAPE BREAST IMPLANTS. His sister (who was also a stripper who got in trouble with the law for having a human skull or some some shit in her apt) got them, and he hated her for it. Then he starts dating this chick who happens to have massive bubblies . He later finds out that, alas, his girlfriend also has breast implants. I think he broke up with her for that reason, but they were pretty obvious. POINT OF STORY: Do not ever get robot boobs if you plan on appealing to the general populace. I mean, come on ladies.
dovey
+0 -0
Only get robot boobs if you plan on appealing to the type of guy who thinks the chicks in Playboy are the epitome of womanhood.
I know that type of guy, and I'm ashamed of that. They're really decent guys aside from their horrible taste in women, but I'm still ashamed.
Only get robot boobs if you plan on appealing to the type of guy who thinks the chicks in Playboy are the epitome of womanhood.
I know that type of guy, and I'm ashamed of that. They're really decent guys aside from their horrible taste in women, but I'm still ashamed.
tsume454
+0 -0
Would robot boobs have WiFi access? That might change my opinion on them.
Would robot boobs have WiFi access? That might change my opinion on them.
irondave
+0 -0
Thank you for this story. From now on, when I am tempted to be depressed by my various problems, I am going to say to myself: "At least you don't have a HUMAN SKULL-OWNING SISTER WITH BREAST IMPLANTS THAT YOU MUST THINK ABOUT!" My issues seem piddling by comparison.
Thank you for this story. From now on, when I am tempted to be depressed by my various problems, I am going to say to myself: "At least you don't have a HUMAN SKULL-OWNING SISTER WITH BREAST IMPLANTS THAT YOU MUST THINK ABOUT!" My issues seem piddling by comparison.
chuvak
+0 -0
Wanted, for Murder Most Foul:
[IMGS OFF]
Wanted, for Murder Most Foul:
[IMGS OFF]
aristagoras
+0 -0
Thank you, Mr. Onstad.
Thank you, Mr. Onstad.
usversusthem
+0 -0
I think it should be pointed out:
Taco-colored breasts are the retarded distant cousins of chili melons. No?
I think it should be pointed out:
Taco-colored breasts are the retarded distant cousins of chili melons. No?
professorhazard
+0 -0
Your rookie card is showing, usversusthem.
Your rookie card is showing, usversusthem.
tombsgrave
+0 -1
Just think, all the money poured into fake breasts could be going towards actually awesome implants. Like rocket-punch fists. Or jetpack feet. Imagine getting breast implants--but the implants are rocket launchers! Go Nagai style.
I blame Shadowrun for instilling these thoughts in me.
Just think, all the money poured into fake breasts could be going towards actually awesome implants. Like rocket-punch fists. Or jetpack feet. Imagine getting breast implants--but the implants are rocket launchers! Go Nagai style.
I blame Shadowrun for instilling these thoughts in me.
chromosomecowboy71
+0 -0
A comment left by chromosomecowboy71 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, MrPoopytime, NumberKillinger)
A comment left by chromosomecowboy71 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, MrPoopytime, NumberKillinger)
tekende
+0 -0
For the benefit of those who may have missed this message a few days ago:
Okay, everyone, there is a Yahoo group set up for the attempt to organize the Great Southwest Acheworld Meetup.
So if you are in the US southwest (Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, etc.) and are interested in joining other Achewood fans to turn the mother out, then click here and join.
For the benefit of those who may have missed this message a few days ago:
Okay, everyone, there is a Yahoo group set up for the attempt to organize the Great Southwest Acheworld Meetup.
So if you are in the US southwest (Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, etc.) and are interested in joining other Achewood fans to turn the mother out, then click here and join.
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
i looked up capsular contraction on wikipedia and almost had a heartattack cuz I'm at work and wikipedia showed me pictures of naked boobies.
i looked up capsular contraction on wikipedia and almost had a heartattack cuz I'm at work and wikipedia showed me pictures of naked boobies.
professorhazard
+0 -0
brb, looking this up at work
brb, looking this up at work
professorhazard
+0 -0
Blocked by WebSense. My work is lamer than yours.
Blocked by WebSense. My work is lamer than yours.
ixalarx
+0 -0
Whoa Onstad! You're working some pretty rough chuckles these days!
Whoa Onstad! You're working some pretty rough chuckles these days!
belgand
+0 -0
Molly has been dead before. I do not see how this is a major complication for her general lifestyle. Even Beef has been there and back a few times.
Molly has been dead before. I do not see how this is a major complication for her general lifestyle. Even Beef has been there and back a few times.
philophobe
+0 -0
I wish I could give this one higher than a 5. It is yet another instance of a strip which leads me into a fit of cackling hysterics at precisely the same time that it leaves me emotionally devastated.
Also, I quite enjoy that one of the side-effects is 'Delusion and Self-Evisceration', a phrase in which an aptly chosen conjunction makes it unclear whether the self-evisceration is as a result of delusion, or rather a completely separate phenomena.
I wish I could give this one higher than a 5. It is yet another instance of a strip which leads me into a fit of cackling hysterics at precisely the same time that it leaves me emotionally devastated.
Also, I quite enjoy that one of the side-effects is 'Delusion and Self-Evisceration', a phrase in which an aptly chosen conjunction makes it unclear whether the self-evisceration is as a result of delusion, or rather a completely separate phenomena.
salvar
+0 -0
This is the best Achewood strip of all time.
This is the best Achewood strip of all time.
dusty
+0 -0
At the very least I would call it a good example of an achewood strip, it has the mix of comedy and true emotion that is unique to achewood. It does things that usually can only be accomplished in a good book, and it still manages to do the things normally expected of a web-comic as well.
At the very least I would call it a good example of an achewood strip, it has the mix of comedy and true emotion that is unique to achewood. It does things that usually can only be accomplished in a good book, and it still manages to do the things normally expected of a web-comic as well.
rowboat
+0 -0
Definitely among the best of '08. Some ways down the all-time list, though.
I mean, that's what I think.
Definitely among the best of '08. Some ways down the all-time list, though.
I mean, that's what I think.
"Taco-Colored Breasts"... It's like something out of Charles Bukowski's darkest dreams.
I wouldn't have predicted that "Demise" is more likely than the naked hysterics. Heh. Women.
The ladies are having the naked hysterics as often as the demise, but they are having this in full tubs.
In my experience, 'Naked Hysterics in Empty Tub' are more of a cling ex-girlfriend and/or PCP thing.
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Mysogynista, neo-aeris, dickie_roxx, Stonecrab, tessebatt)
Don't think of the grammar. *waves hand*
*Signals to subordinates. Moves on.*
PLEASE THINK OF THE GRAMMAR
But it hurts!
Chubbied for the sad, sad truth.
I prefer quiet sobbing on the floor of a shower with tepid water running.
Honestly though, Beef is truly a nice man to go letting his feminine empathy bitch-slap him about like this. Look at his PAIN. he was born a male; he is disgusting.
Actually, when he was born he wasn't really developed all the way. They couldn't tell if he was gonna be a man or a lady.
Excellent use of the semicolon.
My first time (with BBcode on Assetbar), success!
I am a master
Yeah, but check out the capital after the period. I'm mixing it up.
You know what, I will forgive you for that.
I love how it is specific.
Demise, person
It needs to be differentiated from Demise, soul .
DEMISE! ARE YOU CRAPPIN'?
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tttt2, Fermatprime, nonorganon, I_Love_Kate, Darthemed)
YES
Taco-coloured boobs are what made this for me.
you spelling colors with a U made it for me too. colours, rumours, tumours... wait a minute..
Comment left by snick ignored.
CvT: Requiem
HUMOUR!
It is amazing that nearly all English-speaking countries spell words thusly!
A comment left by theargentinian was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Scorpio_nadir, Nodal, ghoti, Doc_Rostov)
Dogg I agree with you for the most part but I gotta say you may be taking it a bit far getting all sassy towards former presidents.
Here's an idea! Let's NOT talk about how Americans spell for the fifth comic in a row.
SPOILER: This is basically impossible.
The best bit is the US Republic uses an 'empirical' system, while we cleave to our metres, litres and redundant vowels in our Constitutional Monarchy. Hooray!
You mean imperial? Ah, wait, was that the joke? Or am I just wrong? Even if I'm right I'll just look pedantic and unamusing. Ah, I'm not going to get anywhere by posting this. Shit.
Gotcha!
America and France have more in common than we'd like to admit.
All of Europe; you shall do THIS !
"Weeeeell, I'm not gonna. I'm gonna have a sandwich."
Eddie Izzard always gets chubbies from me.
No he doesn't. Eddy Izzard fancies girls. He's a transvestite, not a drag queen.
zing
That's executive transvestite actually.
aaand Action Transvestite.
Running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on makeup while you're up there.
you can keep your meters and liters and i'll stick with my metres and litres
oh hell somebody already corrected this *holds pistol up to diving helmet*
I totally feel beef's pain on the guilt thing though. A girl I was with was thinking about getting them and I had a hard time over what I wanted to risk: her life, or the chance of being massaged my fake breasts. I never did make a decision.
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by waddie, judasburrito, fieryjack)
I'm thinking the other side of this. Let's get some boob-colored tacos. I would eat these. I would pay double, just to have more boob colored food. Though if Subway ever got into it, I'd feel awkward getting turned on by the color of a footlong.
Another care: If women were Mrs. Potato Heads, I would put a second mouth on them. So the conversation wouldn't lag when were, uh, being intimate. I would link the strip of Teodor helping Ray cheer up, but I am a lazy man, with lazy lazy hands.
Would they be titty-pink? What about Afro boobs and Asian boobs?
Women might describe you as "the classiest guy in town".
But they might not.
pretty sure not.
If they are just describing and not actually believing it I'm sure a Korean girl could be persuaded to make such a description in exchange for a paypal transaction.
A comment left by farqussus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, c_dizzle, _cheesekayke, loneal, Flyffe, charchar)
I'm not sure if people were offended by your example of women talking about boring things, or if they lamed you because it has been heard before. I for one understand where you're coming from. If my wife is able to compose words, even if it is between gasps and moans, she will continue talking about rude co-workers while I am boffing her. On the upshot this has motivated me to learn better moves.
I was lamed by girls and guys who have never had girlfriends and who think laming me will help.
(I'm staying in misogynistic character here)
(it's still true though)
Considering that bread and boobs both vary in color from dark brown to pale beige I would posit that some sandwiches already are boob colored.
Lordy lordy, you've put me off my lunch AND tits. Damn you, sir.
double whammies usually are damnable.
My lunch and tits are usually the same thing.... and this strip has put me off to neither.
Dammit, you're making me hungry!
I love how you associate Jack in the Box tacos with liver failure. Mostly, because Jack in the Box tacos probably DO somehow cause liver failure. That's why I love your association.
I have explained my thoughts too much.
I said that if you speak against Jack in the Box tacos you are about to enter a universe where the only activity that exists is tasting my hog.
I have no idea what Jack in the Box tacos are and whether or not you should be defending them, but I chubbied you for the use of one of my favourite Beef quotes ever.
Jack in the Box is a terrible fast food chain that mostly serves hamburgers, hot dogs (I think), etc. I have never eaten their tacos, but given their usual fare, I never want to.
Here in North Carolina, Jack in the Box vanished for a few years because some lady died from bad meat.
Five years later they're back -- and they are really clean and serve the best quality fast food I've ever seen.
Ah, the benefits of killing people.
You know, I keep seeing the commercials here, but I ain't seen one in the Triangle; not that I've been hunting or anything.
The last time I had Jack in the Box was in Hong Kong in 1992, I believe. Good chicken fingers.
The important thing about Jack in the Box is the fact that their mascot is awesome. He and the Burger King make their corporations A-OKAY in my book, regardless of the quality of their food.
True, he's pretty great. I'd love to see the two chains make a commercial together--the mascots could box or something. That would be fantastic.
I recall a road trip I took with my little brother, niether of us 'accustomed' to fast food, still found it necessary to stop at a Burger King for a meal. We both bought a Whooper, and we both got the 'pimp skitters'.
On the road back, we stop at the same BK, as it was the last restaurant before the overpass, and I had explained to him that to make good time, a sit down establishment was out of the question. As luck would have it, little brother uses the facilities and leaves me to order. I order him a Triple Whopper with Cheese, and ask that they 'put some stink on it'. Months later now, he still curses my name.
i have not had whooper
also pizza
Quote:
My hat is off to you, good sir.
[IMGS OFF]
What a time to run out of chubbies.
Don't worry, I got your back! The day is saved!
I said that if you speak against judasburrito's hog you are about to enter a universe where the only activity that exists is tasting Jack in the Box tacos.
I thought, apparently wrongly, of the insides of the tacos. I have seen breasts that are vaguely carne asade colored. Nice. I have seen breasts that are carnitas-colored. Also nice. Breasts the color of mole sauce, potentially nice. I have not seen breasts that are the color of chili verde and hope I never shall.
You have obviously not watched enough Star Trek TOS or Star Wars. It will come in time. Then the urge for verde tits will be overwhelming.
A comment left by thegoodwillgirl was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, c_dizzle, Hatticus, mrobin604)
A comment left by mrobin604 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hellofyellin, Thorfinn, NeoNaoNeo, c_dizzle, lateadopter)
Chubbied for not laming me without explaining yourself.
You are rocking some serious good karma right now, thegoodwillgirl.
Sadly assetbar prevents fruitful stalking.
I stalk fruits. Following bananas is my favorite -- they're so naughty !
I shall curtsey and be thankful.
Chubby for your good sportsmanship!
Oh, boy. You done been Risen Above by the Better Man.
Or possibly, Lady.
Assuming that profile picture is him/her, that would be one power-jawed lady.
Like a Jay-Lenoette.
shudder
i guess truthiness is a virtue, so: lamed for cheesy your fish-eyed thumbs up avatar.
(smacks forehead)
Honestly I don't know how extra words sneak into my VERY FEW unsolicited malicious comments.
I too, have suffered the indignity of Jack-in-the-Box "Tacos".Had I known the phrase "biscuit with two shits inside" at the time, so too would all my fellow patrons. Because I would have yelled it.
For 99 cents at 3 a.m., I don't know what I was expecting.
I feel your pain. Never let a friend who works in one of those shit factories tempt you with the offer of free food. If you find yourself that hungry at 3 am you are better off eating someone's newborn child.
wait what... when isn't it better to devour a newborn?
Oh my god I almost barfed on the ground when I read this.
On the ground? Today, everyone else is throwing up in their mouths a little.
Chitin, woo!
Spinynorman, why must you torment our minds so? Why cannot you use your powers of eloquently conveyed imagery for good, Spinynorman?
The stuff they rub on your flesh when you're having an operation pretty much IS taco colored.
Iodine?
Betadine .
Gammadine
Deltadine
Epsilondine
Digammadine
Hey thats mine!
Wine'n'dine
Calvin Klein
..kinda North Carolina
nod
refusal to acknowledge further the origin of quote for fear of lambastation by cultural snobs.
Cyberdyne .
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.
see i always say een instead of ine.
ganga-rene
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Llama bean?
Jimmy Beam, Jimmy Dean; sausage and hooch, a damn fine team.
This was actually a Pinky and the Brain reference.
Aw, I was just kinda going with it. Felt, good, y'know?
Jim Dine.
kidnapped co-ed
Zetadine
Piodine?
Hey, no cutting in line!
God! Don't whine!
the mistake was mine
Whatever, it's fine.
Truly divine.
This line will rhyme.
OH SNAP
AW CRAP
IT'S A TRAP
C'MON FLAP
NOW EVERYBODY CLAP!
*clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*
to the left...
take it back now yall..
Clap to the rap.
This song is the sole reason to attend a wedding reception.
CRIIIISSCROOOOOOOOOSSS
[url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betamax]Betamax?[/ref]
A comment left by c_dizzle was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, Thorfinn, opprobrium, Slab64)
I will not.
I will.
Yet you have not. Interesting.
WRONGGGG
your internet battle is amusing, but i meant lame the one BEFORE IT. hide my bbcode shame.
too late now, though. you disappoint me.
Oh, I definitely read that originally as "face-colored breasts". Thank you for making it way easier to get that'un.
Onstad, again, has said what many have thought.
"Can I justify wanting her to get big hoo-hoos, when all the medical complications are obvious and ghastly? And yet, I still kinda want them. Am I that affected by the occular visceralities of society, that I want plastic surgery-looking kajungas?"
It's a Dude's Mental Journey. Nobody else can take this path for you, man. You gotta deal with this yourself, and it blows.
The preference for high, firm, succulent-looking breasts with dewy, vibrant skin is more about evolutionary pressures to find a fertile mate than societal norms. Big hoo-hoos made to order, more of a corporate scam.
Does anybody know where fattybeaver is today?
Actually, no. This preference is a modern, western phenomenon. At other times and places fashions have varied.
Plus, what do you believe that large breasts signal? Certainly not levels of lactative productivity.
Large breasts remind our primal inner selves of asses. Asses figured more prominently in our sexual experience back when we used to hump in the manner of animals.
"Fuck you, Logic! I be makin' mah own rules!"
A chubby for thee.
I did not say "large breasts," I said "high, firm, succulent-looking breasts with dewy, vibrant skin." They could be quite small and still fit that description nicely.
You're whetting my appetite for chicken more than sex.
I gotta go find me some of these.
Daddy needs his medicine.
We need 700 mgs of rude titty, STAT!
*beeeeeeep*
Rigorous science once again on assetbar
NO
Let's not forget that breasts are also sweat glands. Big sweat glands. Don't get me wrong, they happen to be one of my favorite things in the world, but even the rudest titties are sweat glands.
I've heard that theory, but I've never found it particularly believable. Are we to believe that evolution produced males who seek out large arses, but are also easily fooled by things that casually resemble arses, to the point of favouring them instead?
Believe what you want - I'll put it wherever she lets me.
Steven Jay Gould once said that evolutionary-psychology speculations about the origin of sexual attractiveness usually tell you more about the personal life of the person speculating than about any actual science.
Not that I am making any criticism of you dear sir. I just thought it was funny, and added it to the thread for posterity's sake.