straw
+6 -0
I think it's important for someone to make an animated gif of Beef with the changing light. I am stating this instead of doing this because I am at work and they don't have anything resembling even such as MSPaint over here.
I think it's important for someone to make an animated gif of Beef with the changing light. I am stating this instead of doing this because I am at work and they don't have anything resembling even such as MSPaint over here.
inquiringminds
+0 -0
A comment left by inquiringminds was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DaPooka, straw, apocowarg, the_voice, Edwell, professorhazard, mikeronomicon, Deusoma, synnah, twohundredninety, GMM, relaxing, sneechles, jollysaintpete, Professorbun, NDCaesar, loneal, xndrew, HolyQ, Lumus, sdskyle, aHatOfPig, logic, ethelthefrog, Hexjumper, achilleselbow, EvilPerson, smilebuddha, Doc_Rostov, NumberKillinger, clintisiceman, echidnaboy, alchemicnirvana)
A comment left by inquiringminds was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DaPooka, straw, apocowarg, the_voice, Edwell, professorhazard, mikeronomicon, Deusoma, synnah, twohundredninety, GMM, relaxing, sneechles, jollysaintpete, Professorbun, NDCaesar, loneal, xndrew, HolyQ, Lumus, sdskyle, aHatOfPig, logic, ethelthefrog, Hexjumper, achilleselbow, EvilPerson, smilebuddha, Doc_Rostov, NumberKillinger, clintisiceman, echidnaboy, alchemicnirvana)
echidnaboy
+110 -1
Hey, InquiringMinds. *sssssssip* Up yours InquiringMinds.
In the time it took you to register a sockpuppet profile just to be an anonymous cock to a stranger, maybe you could have gotten off your arse and done something important . Like... this!
Hey, InquiringMinds. *sssssssip* Up yours InquiringMinds.
In the time it took you to register a sockpuppet profile just to be an anonymous cock to a stranger, maybe you could have gotten off your arse and done something important . Like... this!
colorlessness
+6 -0
What I like most is how Beef's right eye is wavering back and forth by a pixel or so.
What I like most is how Beef's right eye is wavering back and forth by a pixel or so.
echidnaboy
+7 -0
He is dazzled by radiant Nature.
He is dazzled by radiant Nature.
circumstances
+0 -0
Dazzling or not, it's bugging me out.
Dazzling or not, it's bugging me out.
the_voice
+0 -0
My eye has been doing that for like two days. Not by a pixel or so, but, you know, in its socket.
Any cures for a twitchy eye?
My eye has been doing that for like two days. Not by a pixel or so, but, you know, in its socket.
Any cures for a twitchy eye?
lambchop
+0 -0
no, but I know what it's called!
You got "nystagmus", son.
It was on a list of fun words once.
no, but I know what it's called!
You got "nystagmus", son.
It was on a list of fun words once.
synapse
+1 -0
nystagmus means you should lay off the sauce for a while. or that you have a brain tumor somewhere near your superior colliculus in your midbrain.
nystagmus means you should lay off the sauce for a while. or that you have a brain tumor somewhere near your superior colliculus in your midbrain.
foea
+0 -0
Quit huffing paint thinner?
Quit huffing paint thinner?
pogo
+0 -0
Twitchy eye? Maybe get some sleep?
Twitchy eye? Maybe get some sleep?
the_voice
+1 -0
1. Sleep
2. No more paint thinner
Done.
1. Sleep
2. No more paint thinner
Done.
mira
+0 -0
potassium deficiency. eat a banana or two.
potassium deficiency. eat a banana or two.
pogo
+0 -0
Are you a divorced stewardess?
Are you a divorced stewardess?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
More likely in medicine or law enforcement. Popos use that one to test for drunkiness. If you look sideways real hard, and your eyes shake, you are probably drunk. Anyone with more than 4 DUIs can tell you that.
More likely in medicine or law enforcement. Popos use that one to test for drunkiness. If you look sideways real hard, and your eyes shake, you are probably drunk. Anyone with more than 4 DUIs can tell you that.
drskradley
+1 -0
I note the Knuckles-action you're sporting, and I highly approve.
I note the Knuckles-action you're sporting, and I highly approve.
baryonyx
+0 -0
The avatar/screenname coordination, it's dumbfounding.
The avatar/screenname coordination, it's dumbfounding.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
You're looking pretty groovy yourself, Ash.
You're looking pretty groovy yourself, Ash.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
OH MY GOD THERE IS A HELICOPTER GOING PAST AS I AM LOOKING AT THIS
amazing
OH MY GOD THERE IS A HELICOPTER GOING PAST AS I AM LOOKING AT THIS
amazing
deusoma
+3 -0
A helicopter crashed near the local elementary school a week or two ago. I suspect it wasn't as magical as Beef's shiny experience.
A helicopter crashed near the local elementary school a week or two ago. I suspect it wasn't as magical as Beef's shiny experience.
daidai
+0 -0
I had a dream about being on a helicopter once.
I had a dream about being on a helicopter once.
dwodles
+0 -0
I was going to comment that the light is moving way to fast, but seeing as how it's a helicopter and all...
I was going to comment that the light is moving way to fast, but seeing as how it's a helicopter and all...
dwodles
+1 -0
Or maybe I'm an idiot that doesn't know her "too"s from her "to"s. Shit.
Or maybe I'm an idiot that doesn't know her "too"s from her "to"s. Shit.
aliiis
+1 -1
This is both important and necessary and you get a big chubby although to be honest you had me at *sssssssip*.
This is both important and necessary and you get a big chubby although to be honest you had me at *sssssssip*.
streever
+1 -0
Actually IMs, if you were to hazard a guess that wasn't so negative in nature, you'd guess that he wanted to see it happen, and wasn't trying to own the idea.
In this way, a great collaboration can be born.
Actually IMs, if you were to hazard a guess that wasn't so negative in nature, you'd guess that he wanted to see it happen, and wasn't trying to own the idea.
In this way, a great collaboration can be born.
professorhazard
+0 -0
If straw wants to have a hand in it - sharing the appreciation of the masses for the creation of a simple GIF file - then straw deserves all the fame and reputation that comes along with that venture.
You, however, only deserve double digits of Lames.
If straw wants to have a hand in it - sharing the appreciation of the masses for the creation of a simple GIF file - then straw deserves all the fame and reputation that comes along with that venture.
You, however, only deserve double digits of Lames.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, NoneMoreNegative, StoatLad, flazisismuss, Flaaron, Lumus, streever, Methadone, shaggy23, brochicha, I_Love_Kate, thatskotkid)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, NoneMoreNegative, StoatLad, flazisismuss, Flaaron, Lumus, streever, Methadone, shaggy23, brochicha, I_Love_Kate, thatskotkid)
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, NoneMoreNegative, StoatLad, flazisismuss, NDCaesar, Flaaron, Lumus, aHatOfPig, streever, Methadone, shaggy23, brochicha, motts, Kenton, thatskotkid)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, NoneMoreNegative, StoatLad, flazisismuss, NDCaesar, Flaaron, Lumus, aHatOfPig, streever, Methadone, shaggy23, brochicha, motts, Kenton, thatskotkid)
synnah
+10 -0
So Enlick Beaves sounds like the title of an Autechre song.
So Enlick Beaves sounds like the title of an Autechre song.
philophobe
+0 -0
Delightful!
Delightful!
invidious
+0 -0
Eins, zwei, ignore user!
Eins, zwei, ignore user!
pogo
+1 -0
Me, too. No more gladi8.
Me, too. No more gladi8.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Without gladi8orrex, we wouldn't have had Edwell's post on the last strip, and if you had him on ignore, the humor would be completely lost on you. I rest my case.
Without gladi8orrex, we wouldn't have had Edwell's post on the last strip, and if you had him on ignore, the humor would be completely lost on you. I rest my case.
pogo
+0 -0
Oh, no wonder I didn't really appreciate that "great moments" fan strip. I can live without it.
Oh, no wonder I didn't really appreciate that "great moments" fan strip. I can live without it.
loneal
+2 -0
I spend all my best years translating is so lol , and you "can live without it"?
I spend all my best years translating is so lol , and you "can live without it"?
kamet
+0 -0
*tear* they're so unappreciative of your art.
*tear* they're so unappreciative of your art.
daidai
+0 -0
Yes, they are. They are so rude.
and I don't mean the good kind.
Yes, they are. They are so rude.
and I don't mean the good kind.
invidious
+0 -0
Well, naturally, when works of genius like that come along, I can always pop up the ignored message to see what all the fuss is about.
The other 95% of the time, though...
Well, naturally, when works of genius like that come along, I can always pop up the ignored message to see what all the fuss is about.
The other 95% of the time, though...
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
and everything else on here is worth reading?
I'm gonna start my own damn message board.
And people without a sense of humor will get warnings!!!
and everything else on here is worth reading?
I'm gonna start my own damn message board.
And people without a sense of humor will get warnings!!!
kickstart
+0 -0
will there be blackjack, and hookers?
will there be blackjack, and hookers?
hamscout
+0 -0
aaah, forget the blackjack!
aaah, forget the blackjack!
sortelli
+0 -1
Warnings and citations!
Warnings and citations!
synnah
+0 -0
Agreed. Someone previously likened Manflesh's posts to a performance art, and I think that applies here, too. Think of him as a kind of an.. Internet Mime.
Agreed. Someone previously likened Manflesh's posts to a performance art, and I think that applies here, too. Think of him as a kind of an.. Internet Mime.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
But who likes mimes?
But who likes mimes?
synnah
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5uQGUc2xCw
The moral of this story is that, as a mime, even if you can make a girl like you, she'll still leave you in the end, because you're a fucking mime.
So yes, I should have chosen a better form of street performance for my analogy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5uQGUc2xCw
The moral of this story is that, as a mime, even if you can make a girl like you, she'll still leave you in the end, because you're a fucking mime.
So yes, I should have chosen a better form of street performance for my analogy.
invidious
+1 -0
The thing is, gladi8orrex is predictable, Manflesh isn't. With Rex, all you get is near indecipherable mangled "txt tlk" with vague allusions to the comic of the day. It's weird on the first day, mildly amusing on the second, and old by the third.
With Manflesh, on the other hand... you never know if he's going to pop up with a "death chain" email, a picture of Captain Picard riding the teacups at Disneyland, or a Shakespearean sonnet about whales humping. That's what makes his posts so much more entertaining.
The thing is, gladi8orrex is predictable, Manflesh isn't. With Rex, all you get is near indecipherable mangled "txt tlk" with vague allusions to the comic of the day. It's weird on the first day, mildly amusing on the second, and old by the third.
With Manflesh, on the other hand... you never know if he's going to pop up with a "death chain" email, a picture of Captain Picard riding the teacups at Disneyland, or a Shakespearean sonnet about whales humping. That's what makes his posts so much more entertaining.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
He may seem predictable, but it's the little touches like [-o-]<---tie-fighter andbird bird bird that make it a real treat.
He may seem predictable, but it's the little touches like [-o-]<---tie-fighter and
octafish
+0 -0
I agree but I think edwell's nugget of genius from yesterday spells a death knell for our friendly neighbourhood gladiator. How can the King of Gladiators possibly top that? It is not going to get any better.
At least 8tor's posts are short.
I agree but I think edwell's nugget of genius from yesterday spells a death knell for our friendly neighbourhood gladiator. How can the King of Gladiators possibly top that? It is not going to get any better.
At least 8tor's posts are short.
synnah
+0 -0
Yeah, he certainly does mix it up. It'll be interesting to see how much longer he can remain amusing for, though.
Yeah, he certainly does mix it up. It'll be interesting to see how much longer he can remain amusing for, though.
maximus
+0 -0
the mime meme is overdone
the mime meme is overdone
gowerski
+0 -0
negative points for the alliteration/assonance
negative points for the alliteration/assonance
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
It's just not the same when it doesn't come from viggo mortensen.
It's just not the same when it doesn't come from viggo mortensen.
geordie
+1 -0
Beef, that trolly dolly is NOT a lady. Not guaranteed female, neither. Run, while you still can....
Beef, that trolly dolly is NOT a lady. Not guaranteed female, neither. Run, while you still can....
hellofditties
+0 -0
She kinda looks like Teodore.
She kinda looks like Teodore.
hateandwar
+8 -1
DENISE, ARE YOU CRAPPIN'?
DENISE, ARE YOU CRAPPIN'?
biznart
+0 -0
Chubby for you. You are a main Honcho of things.
Chubby for you. You are a main Honcho of things.
u235
+0 -0
That quote goes so well with an avatar of Space Moose.
That quote goes so well with an avatar of Space Moose.
hateandwar
+0 -0
I mean, he hasn't given us her name yet, right? Are Lucious Hams included in Union Curves? Or does she just have something like Airline Ass? These are the things I think about, at night.
I mean, he hasn't given us her name yet, right? Are Lucious Hams included in Union Curves? Or does she just have something like Airline Ass? These are the things I think about, at night.
gowerski
+0 -0
i think its just that your av is drawn with lines of achewood style.
i think its just that your av is drawn with lines of achewood style.
hassanoleary
+1 -0
Wade! Stop it! This man is trying to be nice to you!
Wade! Stop it! This man is trying to be nice to you!
eatmorekix
+23 -0
neonaoneo
+3 -0
He reminds me of one of the Angels from End of Evangelion
He reminds me of one of the Angels from End of Evangelion
brokeaccount
+7 -0
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gowerski
+0 -0
you pay attention.
you pay attention.
gowerski
+0 -0
we will see verification of this truth in coming strips
we will see verification of this truth in coming strips
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
She looks to me like a University of Texas sorostitute on her way to a junior league meeting in 1962.
She looks to me like a University of Texas sorostitute on her way to a junior league meeting in 1962.
gussiejives
+0 -0
My God, the hair!
My God, the hair!
synnah
+0 -0
I, too, am not digging the hair.
I, too, am not digging the hair.
trevor328
+5 -0
There's a reason why Onstad stays away from trying to draw female characters. This is it.
There's a reason why Onstad stays away from trying to draw female characters. This is it.
hamscout
+3 -0
I thought panel 6 was brilliant.
That tipped forward face, the squinting puckered smile, the tiny wave...
I have seen this performance from several over-excited but under-qualified dates before. This cannot end well for either party.
The hair just gives me an aftertaste of plastic, which I might expect from a clueless stewardess. What creeps me out is how the rear of the wig looks like a duplicate of her union curves...she has...an ass-hair helmet!
I thought panel 6 was brilliant.
That tipped forward face, the squinting puckered smile, the tiny wave...
I have seen this performance from several over-excited but under-qualified dates before. This cannot end well for either party.
The hair just gives me an aftertaste of plastic, which I might expect from a clueless stewardess. What creeps me out is how the rear of the wig looks like a duplicate of her union curves...she has...an ass-hair helmet!
killerlimpet
+0 -0
For me it's the eyes. The featureless, hollow pits that should not occur anywhere but cyborgs and zombies.
Eyes like that are the reason that Annie posters give me panic attacks.
For me it's the eyes. The featureless, hollow pits that should not occur anywhere but cyborgs and zombies.
Eyes like that are the reason that Annie posters give me panic attacks.
mira
+9 -0
deusoma
+0 -0
"come play with me, Limpet. Play with me forever ..."
"come play with me, Limpet. Play with me forever ..."
hamscout
+1 -0
I just played with Daddy Warbucks, and now I'm going to play with YOU!!!
I just played with Daddy Warbucks, and now I'm going to play with YOU!!!
whiteturtle
+0 -0
V-chub for a stephen king reference.
Word of warning: Don't go burying your dead children in any kind of magical semetary.
V-chub for a stephen king reference.
Word of warning: Don't go burying your dead children in any kind of magical semetary.
daidai
+8 -0
This is the free exerpt of the day from:
This is the free exerpt of the day from:
woodjay
+0 -0
I should have figured Gmork to be a King fan, I wonder if the Langoliers are also servants of The Nothing?
I should have figured Gmork to be a King fan, I wonder if the Langoliers are also servants of The Nothing?
cromar
+0 -0
Hee hee hee
Hee hee hee
nbgreene
+0 -0
SHE HAS TEODOR EYES. this is not cyborg or zombie eyes. i think white blank eyes are getting a bum deal here. what about teodor you guys?
SHE HAS TEODOR EYES. this is not cyborg or zombie eyes. i think white blank eyes are getting a bum deal here. what about teodor you guys?
killerlimpet
+0 -0
Teodor is a stuffed animal; they have buttons or beads for eyes. (See also Lyle, Phillipe)
This lady is (at least presumably?) a cat, and should(?) have point eyes like Beef, Molly and Showbiz.
Teodor is a stuffed animal; they have buttons or beads for eyes. (See also Lyle, Phillipe)
This lady is (at least presumably?) a cat, and should(?) have point eyes like Beef, Molly and Showbiz.
killerlimpet
+0 -0
And then I Saw Also Phillipe. Well Fuck.
And then I Saw Also Phillipe. Well Fuck.
alreadyinuse
+1 -0
she's a cat who is shallow and superficial enough to get plastic eye surgery
she's a cat who is shallow and superficial enough to get plastic eye surgery
pogo
+0 -0
Naw, man, he drew the hair exactly the way he intended. It's a 1960s or so style, Doris Day, kind teased up, very bleached. It's a white socks woman.
Naw, man, he drew the hair exactly the way he intended. It's a 1960s or so style, Doris Day, kind teased up, very bleached. It's a white socks woman.
trevor328
+0 -0
The things is that he has to give her Doris Day hair just so we know that she is female.
The things is that he has to give her Doris Day hair just so we know that she is female.
shades
+0 -0
This strip is historic. You will never, ever see Roast Beef THAT happy for six consecutive panels so long as Onstad is breathing. That might have been the happiest moment of his life.
This strip is historic. You will never, ever see Roast Beef THAT happy for six consecutive panels so long as Onstad is breathing. That might have been the happiest moment of his life.
shades
+13 -0
also the stewardess is Nice Pete.
also the stewardess is Nice Pete.
hamscout
+4 -0
I was suddenly struck by the idea that the beauty of the light being cut by the helicopter is like a wormhole in time from Donnie Darko--will Beef make a horrible mistake, only to find himself working his way back to the terminal, where he is crushed by a crashing helicopter?
...are her "Union Curves" his constant ??
I was suddenly struck by the idea that the beauty of the light being cut by the helicopter is like a wormhole in time from Donnie Darko--will Beef make a horrible mistake, only to find himself working his way back to the terminal, where he is crushed by a crashing helicopter?
...are her "Union Curves" his constant ??
theguitarhero
+2 -2
Did you just reference Donnie Darko AND Lost in one post?
You get a chubby for being so hip.
Did you just reference Donnie Darko AND Lost in one post?
You get a chubby for being so hip.
margargaret
+0 -0
Are you...are you being ironic?
Are you...are you being ironic?
evilawesome
+2 -0
NO Margaret, but thanks for playing... Who Wants to Spot a Douchebag?
NO Margaret, but thanks for playing... Who Wants to Spot a Douchebag?
hamscout
+0 -0
what parting gifts do we have for her, 'evilawesome'?
what parting gifts do we have for her, 'evilawesome'?
ntopp
+2 -0
All contestants on Who Wants to Spot a Douchebag? win a gift certificate for My Sister's Jeans brand jeans and their choice of "ironic" tee shirt.
All contestants on Who Wants to Spot a Douchebag? win a gift certificate for My Sister's Jeans brand jeans and their choice of "ironic" tee shirt.
aliiis
+0 -0
nooooo! surely he found deeper and more satisfying happiness with Molly. Like, here , sure you don't see the six panels' worth of 'heh! hee hee!' that precede the first visible one, but You Know They Happened.
If... if that makes sense?
nooooo! surely he found deeper and more satisfying happiness with Molly. Like, here , sure you don't see the six panels' worth of 'heh! hee hee!' that precede the first visible one, but You Know They Happened.
If... if that makes sense?
flaxplus
+0 -0
I'd like to think the 3rd row of panels is really just Beef admiring his enormous triceps.
I'd like to think the 3rd row of panels is really just Beef admiring his enormous triceps.
flaxplus
+0 -0
All trying to deny self-consciousness of his ego through highly improbable meteorological events.
All trying to deny self-consciousness of his ego through highly improbable meteorological events.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Yeah I wonder what the third row is all about I mean I am pretty confident it has symbolic significance . It's the kind of thing that feels Biblical but I wouldn't be able to place it since I ain't been in a church since small times.
Yeah I wonder what the third row is all about I mean I am pretty confident it has symbolic significance . It's the kind of thing that feels Biblical but I wouldn't be able to place it since I ain't been in a church since small times.
jorus
+1 -0
I think the alternating shading is to imply that this future has suddenly become more probable.
I think the alternating shading is to imply that this future has suddenly become more probable.
westsider8
+2 -0
Actually, I thought the third row was to show that Beef is more entertained by light beams than the Texas lady. It implies he's unaware that she's about to make a play for him, i.e. Beef isn't bad, he's just hell of naive.
Actually, I thought the third row was to show that Beef is more entertained by light beams than the Texas lady. It implies he's unaware that she's about to make a play for him, i.e. Beef isn't bad, he's just hell of naive.
zeal
+1 -0
It is beyond brochacho's imagining that a lady who is not Molly could ever take an interest in him, and he is astonished that Molly puts up with his worthless face. He is honestly hoping to get this lady to help him think up new cards.
It is beyond brochacho's imagining that a lady who is not Molly could ever take an interest in him, and he is astonished that Molly puts up with his worthless face. He is honestly hoping to get this lady to help him think up new cards.
hamscout
+8 -0
I heartily agree (and sit with a knot in my stomach, hoping that Beef responds with appropriate horror to her suggestion in the next strip), but Onstad does a good job of building up just enough doubt in our minds, with Beef's comment about 'doing no wrong with the ladies'. I hope he's just thinking about the normal, non-adulterous perks he's getting (second helping of Chivas, new card ideas), but I am still worried how he'll respond to the temptation.
...this is a cat. in a web cartoon. i am writing this on my lunch break at work.
sorry parents...sorry college...
I heartily agree (and sit with a knot in my stomach, hoping that Beef responds with appropriate horror to her suggestion in the next strip), but Onstad does a good job of building up just enough doubt in our minds, with Beef's comment about 'doing no wrong with the ladies'. I hope he's just thinking about the normal, non-adulterous perks he's getting (second helping of Chivas, new card ideas), but I am still worried how he'll respond to the temptation.
...this is a cat. in a web cartoon. i am writing this on my lunch break at work.
sorry parents...sorry college...
aliiis
+1 -0
I kind of thought that he was feeling that the scene had just become sort of romantic in the same, slightly cliched but still unavoidably enjoyable, way as one feels when say for instance walking in an orchard dappled with moonlight or dancing under the variegated lighting effect of a slowly-rotating mirror ball? Perhaps?
I kind of thought that he was feeling that the scene had just become sort of romantic in the same, slightly cliched but still unavoidably enjoyable, way as one feels when say for instance walking in an orchard dappled with moonlight or dancing under the variegated lighting effect of a slowly-rotating mirror ball? Perhaps?
hoboninja
+0 -0
EXACTLY! Thank you for stating this. What were you other guys thinking?
EXACTLY! Thank you for stating this. What were you other guys thinking?
hamscout
+0 -0
yes! totally--for a neurotic, romantic, observant fellow such as Beef, he can find the floating plastic shopping bag beauty in life--but in the context it just amplifies his naivete in the situation, ramping up the dread for the viewer, as we watch him walk towards the edge, his eyes fixed firmly on the shining light from above... it makes it hurt that much more when he goes through the inevitable ooooohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
yes! totally--for a neurotic, romantic, observant fellow such as Beef, he can find the floating plastic shopping bag beauty in life--but in the context it just amplifies his naivete in the situation, ramping up the dread for the viewer, as we watch him walk towards the edge, his eyes fixed firmly on the shining light from above... it makes it hurt that much more when he goes through the inevitable ooooohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
aliiis
+0 -0
Nice.
Nice.
ortsac
+0 -0
Like when RB drove off a cliff when he was high and died. He was kind of caught up in the moment.
Like when RB drove off a cliff when he was high and died. He was kind of caught up in the moment.
telescreen
+0 -0
As has been discussed, all the fame has led Beef to juicin' to keep up that studly, card-writing image. And apparently to attract ladies that think that oral sex is the definition of kinky.
As has been discussed, all the fame has led Beef to juicin' to keep up that studly, card-writing image. And apparently to attract ladies that think that oral sex is the definition of kinky.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
Teodor in a wig and make-up. Also he has a rack.
Teodor in a wig and make-up. Also he has a rack.
achilleselbow
+2 -1
Teodor has some fun little tits today!
Teodor has some fun little tits today!
chuvak
+3 -0
Also he wants to suck Beef off. Wait, what?
Also he wants to suck Beef off. Wait, what?
fuckyoufriday
+6 -1
Can I get you a soda or anything? I mean, like, I should've gotten you a soda.
Can I get you a soda or anything? I mean, like, I should've gotten you a soda.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
*thumbs up*
*thumbs up*
pogo
+0 -0
You're doing a great job down there.
You're doing a great job down there.
henrym
+2 -1
He's not gonna do it. Beef ain't the kind of Dude to be all cheating on Molly.
He's not gonna do it. Beef ain't the kind of Dude to be all cheating on Molly.
synnah
+0 -0
Agreed. I'd like to think that the expression frozen onto his face in the last panel quickly turns to horror and self-loathing.
Agreed. I'd like to think that the expression frozen onto his face in the last panel quickly turns to horror and self-loathing.
drskradley
+1 -0
Depends how much he likes it orally.
Depends how much he likes it orally.
norrin
+1 -0
I said it before and I will say it again: It's all good and well to say he should not go for it, but a nerd was just offered oral pleasure from a (presumably) hot chick, and that is just not that easy to turn down.
I said it before and I will say it again: It's all good and well to say he should not go for it, but a nerd was just offered oral pleasure from a (presumably) hot chick, and that is just not that easy to turn down.
killerlimpet
+0 -0
I done it.
I done it.
hamscout
+0 -0
seconded.
seconded.
molesticide
+0 -0
i have not
i have not
hedonismbot
+2 -0
They are not in sync. Her idea of kinky is white Keds. His idea is purple pumps. That is worse than a hetero-homo mismatch. They have no chance. Also, another free chubby for a great avatar.
They are not in sync. Her idea of kinky is white Keds. His idea is purple pumps. That is worse than a hetero-homo mismatch. They have no chance. Also, another free chubby for a great avatar.
invidious
+8 -0
I like my coffee like I like my women... orally.
I like my coffee like I like my women... orally.
deusoma
+0 -0
My favourite punchline to that one is "Ground up and in the freezer."
My favourite punchline to that one is "Ground up and in the freezer."
octafish
+0 -0
I like my coffee like Bobby Brown likes his women, black punched in the face and thrown down the stairs.
I like my coffee like Bobby Brown likes his women, black punched in the face and thrown down the stairs.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
I like my coffee like I like my women: quiet.
I like my coffee like I like my women: quiet.
invidious
+0 -0
My favorite punchline to that joke is "anally."
"I just can't get going in the morning until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee... oh sure, I've tried other enemas..." -- Emo Philips
My favorite punchline to that joke is "anally."
"I just can't get going in the morning until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee... oh sure, I've tried other enemas..." -- Emo Philips
octafish
+0 -0
Shat out of a civet!
Shat out of a civet!
tbtabby
+0 -0
"With milk and two sugars."
"What's that mean?"
"I don't know."
"With milk and two sugars."
"What's that mean?"
"I don't know."
asobi
+2 -0
Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey.
https://tinyurl.com/6rfu9p
Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the Andes behind a donkey.
https://tinyurl.com/6rfu9p
hedonismbot
+1 -0
"Covered in bees!!!"
"Covered in bees!!!"
hellofyellin
+0 -0
With a spoon in them.
With a spoon in them.
straw
+0 -0
I like my women like I like my olives, soaked with gin.
I like my women like I like my olives, soaked with gin.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
I like my whiskey like I like my women. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
I like my whiskey like I like my women. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
aliiis
+0 -0
Well played! A v-chub for you.
Well played! A v-chub for you.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Will he be able to be served on the return flight by a person who has done oral on him?
Will he be able to be served on the return flight by a person who has done oral on him?
skrizach
+5 -0
I had to read this far for someone to bring up Molly. For shame, assetbar.
I had to read this far for someone to bring up Molly. For shame, assetbar.
hoboninja
+0 -0
See: Yesterday's comments.
See: Yesterday's comments.
nunziantte
+0 -0
everyday men make mistakes.
everyday men break our hearts.
everyday.
everyday men make mistakes.
everyday men break our hearts.
everyday.
sagoon
+1 -0
yep. beef is hella breakin' my heart right about now. i can see upon his return home molly leaving him a card saying "man your best girl just left you isn't that just sick signed molly :(
yep. beef is hella breakin' my heart right about now. i can see upon his return home molly leaving him a card saying "man your best girl just left you isn't that just sick signed molly :(
brokeaccount
+0 -0
Oh my God I can't buy a Chivas Regal from someone who has done oral on me
Oh my God I can't buy a Chivas Regal from someone who has done oral on me
duskbringer
+2 -0
I think every man's response to that question is to freeze as bloodflow is redirected.
I think every man's response to that question is to freeze as bloodflow is redirected.
circadin
+1 -0
I might cry depending on what happens here.
I might cry depending on what happens here.
byronic
+12 -0
I usually cry when I get it orally.
I usually cry when I get it orally.
neonaoneo
+6 -0
She usually cries when I get it orally
She usually cries when I get it orally
aliiis
+1 -0
I get a chubby when you cry
I get a chubby when you cry
aliiis
+0 -0
I mean, I give you a chubby when I get to read your entertaining comment on the internet tubes
but also I would blow you
(assuming that you are in fact both conchords)
I mean, I give you a chubby when I get to read your entertaining comment on the internet tubes
but also I would blow you
(assuming that you are in fact both conchords)
lawbot
+0 -0
I can definitely market that.
I can definitely market that.
cromar
+0 -0
I'm sorry I didn't say I would blow you over the internet.
(inside)But, come one, it's not like you have a penis. You are a disembodied skull.
I'm sorry I didn't say I would blow you over the internet.
(inside)But, come one, it's not like you have a penis. You are a disembodied skull.
colorlessness
+0 -0
disembodied skull love!
disembodied skull love!
drskradley
+0 -0
I recall a story my brother-in-law told of how, as a reckless youth, he and his friends stole something from/verbally abused/graffiti'd the shop front of a store, and the store owner chased them down crying:
"When I catch you little cunts, I'm gonna cut yer heads off and skullfuck you!"
Truly, a quote for the ages, and one that has served me well over the years.
I recall a story my brother-in-law told of how, as a reckless youth, he and his friends stole something from/verbally abused/graffiti'd the shop front of a store, and the store owner chased them down crying:
"When I catch you little cunts, I'm gonna cut yer heads off and skullfuck you!"
Truly, a quote for the ages, and one that has served me well over the years.
dutch
+0 -0
no way you can fit a concord in your mouth grrrl
no way you can fit a concord in your mouth grrrl
dutch
+0 -0
and i spelled concord like that to mix concorde the aeroplane with conchord the flight of
i am also drunk and thats why i have posted two comments tonight. i never post comments. not never anymore.
and i guess its three
and i spelled concord like that to mix concorde the aeroplane with conchord the flight of
i am also drunk and thats why i have posted two comments tonight. i never post comments. not never anymore.
and i guess its three
aliiis
+0 -0
ahhh, but the reason I have my hand over my mouth in my peekture is to conceal the fact that I have a FREAKISHLY HUGE mouth, capable of fitting not one but at least two Conchords.*
*may contain lies
ahhh, but the reason I have my hand over my mouth in my peekture is to conceal the fact that I have a FREAKISHLY HUGE mouth, capable of fitting not one but at least two Conchords.*
*may contain lies
drskradley
+0 -0
I don't think that would be altogether pleasant, rubbing my dick up against my bandmate's dick whilst inside some gargantuan-mouthed, albeit hot, Scottish groupie.
Might be their thing, though.
I don't think that would be altogether pleasant, rubbing my dick up against my bandmate's dick whilst inside some gargantuan-mouthed, albeit hot, Scottish groupie.
Might be their thing, though.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Daddy drinks because you cry.
Daddy drinks because you cry.
rick_v
+7 -1
I Am Sorry I Like It Orally
(inside) I Did Not Mean For That To Happen
I Am Sorry I Like It Orally
(inside) I Did Not Mean For That To Happen
gmm
+0 -0
I hope you mean this in a "No Beef, don't do it, Molly is a great woman!" way. Because that is how I feel about the cat that might be about to receive oral.
I hope you mean this in a "No Beef, don't do it, Molly is a great woman!" way. Because that is how I feel about the cat that might be about to receive oral.
tragicone
+0 -0
wow, i caught this one early.
Ok, well I gotta say wow. Beef best know better than that. I would trust him in the judgement. But this lady, has perhaps made him as happy as he could even be. Although her hair is overly funky, in the bad way.
wow, i caught this one early.
Ok, well I gotta say wow. Beef best know better than that. I would trust him in the judgement. But this lady, has perhaps made him as happy as he could even be. Although her hair is overly funky, in the bad way.
pyromancer
+0 -0
'At's Texas hair. Just saw some in Houston a couple weeks ago.
'At's Texas hair. Just saw some in Houston a couple weeks ago.
achilleselbow
+6 -1
She looks like one of the Stepford Wives. Which made me think of this:
She looks like one of the Stepford Wives. Which made me think of this:
nymphadoria
+0 -0
I think this woman is breaking Roast Beef down, and Molly is about to be a very sad lady.
I think this woman is breaking Roast Beef down, and Molly is about to be a very sad lady.
boheeka
+0 -0
i am very afraid of this.
i am very afraid of this.
flaxplus
+0 -0
I think "The Future" supports this.
I think "The Future" supports this.
chuvak
+0 -0
I feel like the yelling and leaving was far in the future.
I feel like the yelling and leaving was far in the future.
rainbowbrite
+1 -0
He could just have it orally with this lady/(transexual) and then Molly never find out. That would be an unconventional way for a narrative about infidelity in monogamous relationships to work out. I know I'd certainly feel differently towards Roast Beef afterwards though.
He could just have it orally with this lady/(transexual) and then Molly never find out. That would be an unconventional way for a narrative about infidelity in monogamous relationships to work out. I know I'd certainly feel differently towards Roast Beef afterwards though.
hedonismbot
+11 -0
Unconventional? If my wife knew the number of tranny blowjobs I've had since we got married she'd die. Or get really turned on. She loves trannies as much as I do.
Unconventional? If my wife knew the number of tranny blowjobs I've had since we got married she'd die. Or get really turned on. She loves trannies as much as I do.
rainbowbrite
+1 -0
Yay?
Yay?
loneal
+1 -0
I am compelled to chubby this, and I don't know why.
I am compelled to chubby this, and I don't know why.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
If my commenting gives young Ms. loneal the chubbies, maybe 'she' is my type?
If my commenting gives young Ms. loneal the chubbies, maybe 'she' is my type?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
His username is purely descriptive.
His username is purely descriptive.
caseyb3
+1 -0
Hedonismbot: the robot with some serious hedonism chops
Hedonismbot: the robot with some serious hedonism chops
i_love_kate
+1 -0
How delightfully decadent.
How delightfully decadent.
pogo
+0 -0
This scenario, tranny blows, wife lives trannies, is highly unlikely. I don't think this robot even has a wife.
This scenario, tranny blows, wife lives trannies, is highly unlikely. I don't think this robot even has a wife.
octafish
+0 -0
I once asked a transsexual I knew why she didn't get gender reassignment surgery. She said "The guys I like all like cock".
alternatively
She said, "I'm done with Sergio".
I once asked a transsexual I knew why she didn't get gender reassignment surgery. She said "The guys I like all like cock".
alternatively
She said, "I'm done with Sergio".
falseprophet
+2 -0
He treats her like a ragdoll.
He treats her like a ragdoll.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Crazy bitch hid my TV!
Crazy bitch hid my TV!
foea
+0 -0
Well, she doesn't owe you nothing.
Well, she doesn't owe you nothing.
lawbot
+0 -0
Hedonismbot's working some rough chuckles these days.
Hedonismbot's working some rough chuckles these days.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
This... saddens me.
This... saddens me.
razznixx
+2 -0
No beef. NOOOOOO
No beef. NOOOOOO
standingonit
+1 -1
No way cats Beef is all hot rollin' with the family values if ever a dogg was.
He be primin' to do the right thing and turn that shit down.
No way cats Beef is all hot rollin' with the family values if ever a dogg was.
He be primin' to do the right thing and turn that shit down.
synnah
+19 -0
[TURN-IT-DOWN src="THAT SHIT"/]
[TURN-IT-DOWN src="THAT SHIT"/]
flaxplus
+1 -0
The future of this arc (If late night D comedies on TBS serve me correctly): Beef's going to get halfway oral, stop in the middle due to moral concerns, spend the next ten strips contemplating whether getting halfway oral counts as cheating, eventually call off the wedding "cause I can't have a bachelor party with a robot who has done halfway oral on me."
The future of this arc (If late night D comedies on TBS serve me correctly): Beef's going to get halfway oral, stop in the middle due to moral concerns, spend the next ten strips contemplating whether getting halfway oral counts as cheating, eventually call off the wedding "cause I can't have a bachelor party with a robot who has done halfway oral on me."
falseprophet
+0 -0
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, sneeeeeeeeeeeze, shades)
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, sneeeeeeeeeeeze, shades)
hamscout
+1 -0
chubbied for not including a half-dead goat carcass in the oral*
* see previous strip for details. or, well, don't.
chubbied for not including a half-dead goat carcass in the oral*
* see previous strip for details. or, well, don't.
kamet
+0 -0
I would recommend not, really.
I would recommend not, really.
sneeeeeeeeeeeze
+0 -2
man come on
man come on
sneeeeeeeeeeeze
+0 -0
A comment left by sneeeeeeeeeeeze was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Edwell, KaMeT, mortshire, DrSkradley, achilleselbow, NumberKillinger)
A comment left by sneeeeeeeeeeeze was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Edwell, KaMeT, mortshire, DrSkradley, achilleselbow, NumberKillinger)
alreadyinuse
+1 -0
shit... two posts in a row both saying the same thing? explain why you don't like the post. Give us a rebuttal. If this was debate class you just failed with an F minus and rapped on the knucles with a ruler.
shit... two posts in a row both saying the same thing? explain why you don't like the post. Give us a rebuttal. If this was debate class you just failed with an F minus and rapped on the knucles with a ruler.
kamet
+0 -2
This is awesome. You have channeled Roast Beef in a way that not even Billy Idol could come through.
This is awesome. You have channeled Roast Beef in a way that not even Billy Idol could come through.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
cribbed from tomorrow's Beef blog?
cribbed from tomorrow's Beef blog?
biznart
+0 -0
I stand corrected. YOU are the main Honcho of things.
This is what happens when I reply prematurely.
I stand corrected. YOU are the main Honcho of things.
This is what happens when I reply prematurely.
edwell
+0 -0
That was awe-inspiring. Like watching an opera star hold a perfect note for thirty straight seconds.
Only, you know, enjoyable.
That was awe-inspiring. Like watching an opera star hold a perfect note for thirty straight seconds.
Only, you know, enjoyable.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Falseprophet, were you eavesdropping in on my brain about 3 weeks ago?
Falseprophet, were you eavesdropping in on my brain about 3 weeks ago?
skoora
+0 -0
BEEF, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
BEEF, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
retardedgenius
+0 -0
ain't no way onstad is drawing that outcome.
ain't no way onstad is drawing that outcome.
chuvak
+0 -1
Not for publication anyway.
Not for publication anyway.
rogergs
+1 -0
If any of you have seen "The Cooler" I think you can guess where this plot is going.
Hint: His new-found wealth and fame are based on faithfully representing the ways of a neurotic, henpecked cringer.
If any of you have seen "The Cooler" I think you can guess where this plot is going.
Hint: His new-found wealth and fame are based on faithfully representing the ways of a neurotic, henpecked cringer.
kickstart
+0 -0
Chubby for William H. Macy!
Chubby for William H. Macy!
chuvak
+0 -0
Panel 16. Look at those arms.
Beef is RIPPED.
Panel 16. Look at those arms.
Beef is RIPPED.
relaxing
+0 -0
He's totally flexing for the female attention.
He's totally flexing for the female attention.
cvagts
+0 -0
you don't get THOSE from programming a computer!
or maybe you do
you don't get THOSE from programming a computer!
or maybe you do
relaxing
+0 -0
Just hope you don't end up wanting to buy a burrito from her later!
Just hope you don't end up wanting to buy a burrito from her later!
overmedicated
+0 -0
This strip is now the new leader in the Make Overmedicated Laugh Until He Coughs Up Blood Category.
And all because of the last panel.
This strip is now the new leader in the Make Overmedicated Laugh Until He Coughs Up Blood Category.
And all because of the last panel.
missbee
+0 -0
That post made no sense until I realized that Overmedicated is your name. I am a quick one these days.
That post made no sense until I realized that Overmedicated is your name. I am a quick one these days.
tsox
+1 -0
This story arc has nothing to do with Beef becoming famous for writing greeting cards and everything to do with Beef becoming the main Honcho of big biceps. Onstad has made fools of us all.
This story arc has nothing to do with Beef becoming famous for writing greeting cards and everything to do with Beef becoming the main Honcho of big biceps. Onstad has made fools of us all.
mrprim
+1 -1
This strip is quite... well, it's disturbing. It is especially disturbing in the manner in which the cartoon cat's possible infidelity makes me feel uncomfortable on the inside. What does that say about me?
Also, I fear that this is the belated conclusion to the prostitute "arc". Can't you see it? Plastic hair on the nightstand? Union curves all silhouetted by the moonlight.
"heh so what's your name?"
"Roast Beef... I... I am a prostitute."
"...."
"My name is Cynthia."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
This strip is quite... well, it's disturbing. It is especially disturbing in the manner in which the cartoon cat's possible infidelity makes me feel uncomfortable on the inside. What does that say about me?
Also, I fear that this is the belated conclusion to the prostitute "arc". Can't you see it? Plastic hair on the nightstand? Union curves all silhouetted by the moonlight.
"heh so what's your name?"
"Roast Beef... I... I am a prostitute."
"...."
"My name is Cynthia."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
hamscout
+0 -0
ohmygod, that's freaky.
Could the 'achewood generator breakdown' have shown us a flash from the future?
...and it might coincide with my time tunnel idea ( see above )
ohmygod, that's freaky.
Could the 'achewood generator breakdown' have shown us a flash from the future?
...and it might coincide with my time tunnel idea ( see above )
overmedicated
+0 -0
You keep telling me to look somewhere else, yet I can never find that which you refer to
Why must you do this hamscout
Why must you do this to me
You keep telling me to look somewhere else, yet I can never find that which you refer to
Why must you do this hamscout
Why must you do this to me
hamscout
+0 -0
If you want to find my time tunnel post above, just search for "Donnie Darko". (Sorry, I used 'wormhole' above, but 'time tunnel' here...
If you want to find the prostitute strip, just search the strips for "I'm a prostitute".
(Sorry I'm so lazy with the linking, but I'm out of time on my lunch hour, and I am also lazy like this sometimes)
{outside} I'm sorry that my unlinked references caused you despair.
{inside} I disappoint myself like this often.
If you want to find my time tunnel post above, just search for "Donnie Darko". (Sorry, I used 'wormhole' above, but 'time tunnel' here...
If you want to find the prostitute strip, just search the strips for "I'm a prostitute".
(Sorry I'm so lazy with the linking, but I'm out of time on my lunch hour, and I am also lazy like this sometimes)
{outside} I'm sorry that my unlinked references caused you despair.
{inside} I disappoint myself like this often.
elzilcho
+0 -0
I really like that Beef has been so well established that, when something like this happens, everyone freaks out and tries to explain it with parallel universe theories.
If Onstad takes the story to any one of these places (The Future, "I am a prostitute," that alternative future you mentioned), it would be a masterwork. If he doesn't, we're just a bunch of nerds. Nerds on the internet .
I really like that Beef has been so well established that, when something like this happens, everyone freaks out and tries to explain it with parallel universe theories.
If Onstad takes the story to any one of these places (The Future, "I am a prostitute," that alternative future you mentioned), it would be a masterwork. If he doesn't, we're just a bunch of nerds. Nerds on the internet .
kamet
+0 -0
Well.. the Nerds on the internet is true either way, really.
Well.. the Nerds on the internet is true either way, really.
hamscout
+0 -0
Excellent point. The fact that I spewed that theory early this morning before I had even a sip of coffee makes me afraid for my state of mind...
Excellent point. The fact that I spewed that theory early this morning before I had even a sip of coffee makes me afraid for my state of mind...
falseprophet
+7 -1
NEW THEORY
I submit that this is not a helicopter over Beef's head it is actually a spaceship and this woman is an alien who is trying to absorb the genes of the dude who writes the cards so she can bring it back to her dying planet where they use greeting cards as currency which they need so they can pay off a Vogon parking ticket which is an exorbitant sum o' dollaz it has credence considering that her eyes are so soulless and she looks like a goddam Stepford Wive so I say let's sit down on my couch with some popcorn and cane sugar cola and see how this shit plays down.
I submit this.
NEW THEORY
I submit that this is not a helicopter over Beef's head it is actually a spaceship and this woman is an alien who is trying to absorb the genes of the dude who writes the cards so she can bring it back to her dying planet where they use greeting cards as currency which they need so they can pay off a Vogon parking ticket which is an exorbitant sum o' dollaz it has credence considering that her eyes are so soulless and she looks like a goddam Stepford Wive so I say let's sit down on my couch with some popcorn and cane sugar cola and see how this shit plays down.
I submit this.
kamet
+0 -0
AAAAAAH!!! MY MIND IS BLOWN!
AAAAAAH!!! MY MIND IS BLOWN!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
We are a million monkeys at a million type-writers. One day, Onstad will accidently give one of us a banana. I hope that person is ready for the responsibility.
We are a million monkeys at a million type-writers. One day, Onstad will accidently give one of us a banana. I hope that person is ready for the responsibility.
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
I would like mine orally please. (Banana that is)
I would like mine orally please. (Banana that is)
catgrl131
+2 -0
Oh my god she has got scoliosis
Oh my god she has got scoliosis
qingofchina
+2 -0
HES DREAMING!
HES DREAMING!
teabaggery
+0 -0
the helicopter is a ceiling fan
the helicopter is a ceiling fan
nbeer
+0 -0
Oh God, I hope you guys are right. Otherwise, this will be the Saddest Thing.
Oh God, I hope you guys are right. Otherwise, this will be the Saddest Thing.
neonaoneo
+0 -0
GAAAAAAAAAHHHH
GAAAAAAAAAHHHH
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm beginning to agree with you. I can't remember a strip in recent memory where someone hasn't busted this phrase out.
I'm beginning to agree with you. I can't remember a strip in recent memory where someone hasn't busted this phrase out.
iovine
+0 -0
Same here. He can't do better than Molly.
Same here. He can't do better than Molly.
scraggg
+0 -0
Tomorrow, Roast Beef mistakenly grabs the briefcase of a man named Kevin Finnerty and gets into a fight with a group of Buddhist monks.
Tomorrow, Roast Beef mistakenly grabs the briefcase of a man named Kevin Finnerty and gets into a fight with a group of Buddhist monks.
aliiis
+0 -0
nice reference!
nice reference!
scraggg
+0 -0
It will ultimately be confusing and disappointing.
It will ultimately be confusing and disappointing.
synnah
+0 -0
I was confused and disappointed.
I was confused and disappointed.
baryonyx
+0 -0
And he wakes up and he's still in Saigon, waiting for a mission.
And he wakes up and he's still in Saigon, waiting for a mission.
bumfighter
+0 -0
Beef will need one bitch of a card to get himself out of Molly's hellfire between helicopter blades.
Ripped, successful Beef David Lynch bimbo - Molly = Dream
Beef will need one bitch of a card to get himself out of Molly's hellfire between helicopter blades.
Ripped, successful Beef David Lynch bimbo - Molly = Dream
bumfighter
+0 -0
God damn assetbar's lack of a basic addition symbol.
God damn assetbar's lack of a basic addition symbol.
hikikomori
+7 -0
NO
BEEF YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT
THAT IS TERRIBLE
NO
BEEF YOU ARE NOT DOING THAT
THAT IS TERRIBLE
norrin
+1 -0
If you think that is terrible you are doing it wrong.
If you think that is terrible you are doing it wrong.
hikikomori
+0 -0
Well, I was talking about the whole "Beef cheating on Molly" thing. Oral is awesome.
Well, I was talking about the whole "Beef cheating on Molly" thing. Oral is awesome.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
INCREDIBLE DEATH
INCREDIBLE DEATH
cycerin
+0 -0
Oh man, she even has a beauty mark
Oh man, she even has a beauty mark
falseprophet
+0 -0
How ironic. It accomplishes the exact opposite of what it is intended. All the time.
How ironic. It accomplishes the exact opposite of what it is intended. All the time.
drskradley
+1 -0
I disagree. I find the little mole, if subtle and strategically placed, hella sexay.
Sometimes I get her to dress up as a mole
I disagree. I find the little mole, if subtle and strategically placed, hella sexay.
Sometimes I get her to dress up as a mole
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Aww.
Aww.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A thousand virtual chubbies to anyone who knows where it's from.
A thousand virtual chubbies to anyone who knows where it's from.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
I have no idea but it is terrifying .
I have no idea but it is terrifying .
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Is that what Madonna's mark looks like close up?
Is the answer Madonna's face. She's been around a while. It may have evolved.
Is that what Madonna's mark looks like close up?
Is the answer Madonna's face. She's been around a while. It may have evolved.
drskradley
+0 -0
A game, but I'll be damned if I can think of which. I certainly recognise it, though. Not Sonic, surely....is it?
A game, but I'll be damned if I can think of which. I certainly recognise it, though. Not Sonic, surely....is it?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's a Genesis game called Mr. Nutz . It was a pretty decent platformer starring a squirrel, but it was so obscure that people only remember its title if anything. Also, the first stage was called Woody Land.
It's a Genesis game called Mr. Nutz . It was a pretty decent platformer starring a squirrel, but it was so obscure that people only remember its title if anything. Also, the first stage was called Woody Land.
riazm
+1 -0
Trousers Roast Beef?
Trousers?
Trousers Roast Beef?
Trousers?
numberkillinger
+4 -0
How could he be so arrogant?
How could he be so arrogant?
rabbidpanda
+0 -0
Beef is looking like some blowjob from a Banana Republic catalog
Beef is looking like some blowjob from a Banana Republic catalog
numberkillinger
+0 -0
In the last panel, he has opinions about famous car drivers.
In the last panel, he has opinions about famous car drivers.
rude_mechanical
+0 -0
Her (possibly - I still think there's a good chance the stewardess is a transexual) eyes have been drawn in the style of the Annie comics. I'm sure there's some hidden meaning there.
Her (possibly - I still think there's a good chance the stewardess is a transexual) eyes have been drawn in the style of the Annie comics. I'm sure there's some hidden meaning there.
foea
+0 -0
Onstad is implying that she has no soul.
Onstad is implying that she has no soul.
zedpower
+2 -0
Some men such as Joe Pesci and Bill Gates have created good lives for themselves
Beef is about to cheat on Molly with a recent divorcee who offered him a blowjob after only a few hours of their initial meeting
Keep on rockin' Roast Beef
Some men such as Joe Pesci and Bill Gates have created good lives for themselves
Beef is about to cheat on Molly with a recent divorcee who offered him a blowjob after only a few hours of their initial meeting
Keep on rockin' Roast Beef
locke1127
+0 -0
man what the fuck, beef
man what the fuck, beef
spaceseeker51
+2 -0
Roast Beef is not allowed happiness in his lifetimes. Cue rollerskate in 3, 2, 1...........
Roast Beef is not allowed happiness in his lifetimes. Cue rollerskate in 3, 2, 1...........
synnah
+1 -0
Is your avatar a picture of someone wearing a cat in the manner of a glove?
Is your avatar a picture of someone wearing a cat in the manner of a glove?
drskradley
+0 -0
Good heavens, I hope that's all it is.
Good heavens, I hope that's all it is.
numberkillinger
+2 -0
All I am doing is wearing a cat like a glove. That is all I am doing.
All I am doing is wearing a cat like a glove. That is all I am doing.
voloshg
+0 -0
Just say no, Roast Beef!
Just say no, Roast Beef!
pyromancer
+0 -0
Where the hell did those biceps come from anyway? All the card typing, I guess.
Where the hell did those biceps come from anyway? All the card typing, I guess.
tekende
+0 -0
Just furiously typing cards out
Just furiously typing cards out
phy
+9 -0
Onstad draws lady hair like it came off an early Lego woman.
Onstad draws lady hair like it came off an early Lego woman.
afronaut
+0 -0
GODDAMNIT BEEF YOURE WALKING IN A WHOLE NOTHER SHARK ATTACK CANT YOU SEE
GODDAMNIT BEEF YOURE WALKING IN A WHOLE NOTHER SHARK ATTACK CANT YOU SEE
falseprophet
+2 -0
THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE IS TO JUMP OVER IT
OH WAIT SHIT
THE ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE IS TO JUMP OVER IT
OH WAIT SHIT
dasilodavi
+0 -0
I like the way Onstad illustrated a helicopter "chopping up the sunight."
Also, I'm interested to see what Roast Beef does in this situation. I think the taste of fame and the promise of an illicit encounter will prove too much. He's only a man, you know?
I like the way Onstad illustrated a helicopter "chopping up the sunight."
Also, I'm interested to see what Roast Beef does in this situation. I think the taste of fame and the promise of an illicit encounter will prove too much. He's only a man, you know?
whiteturtle
+2 -0
Does everyone see what onstad did with the light there? From light to dark? The helicopter chopping up the light is Beef's descent into blowjobs.
Does everyone see what onstad did with the light there? From light to dark? The helicopter chopping up the light is Beef's descent into blowjobs.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
Apocalypse Now II: Here Come the Blowjobs
Apocalypse Now II: Here Come the Blowjobs
tombsgrave
+0 -0
(drum snare)
(drum snare)
octafish
+6 -0
Hasty! Buggery! Photoshopped!
Hasty! Buggery! Photoshopped!
pogo
+0 -0
Strike one!
Strike one!
drskradley
+0 -0
Reminds me of a bit in The Maxx , personally. Which, granted, I read before I saw Apocolypse Now , so the former ingrained the scene more indelibly into my grey matter.
Reminds me of a bit in The Maxx , personally. Which, granted, I read before I saw Apocolypse Now , so the former ingrained the scene more indelibly into my grey matter.
foea
+0 -0
When I was there, all I could think about was getting home. When I went home, all I could think about was getting back in the bush.
When I was there, all I could think about was getting home. When I went home, all I could think about was getting back in the bush.
professorhazard
+0 -0
For all we know, it is actually okay in Achewood society for Beef to get his bone on with some random other lady. They ARE cats, after all. Cats plus monogamy equals Does Not Compute.
For all we know, it is actually okay in Achewood society for Beef to get his bone on with some random other lady. They ARE cats, after all. Cats plus monogamy equals Does Not Compute.
deusoma
+0 -0
I get what you're saying, but the fact that they're planning a fairly elaborate wedding ceremony, presided over by the one and only priest of the Church of Cornelians, seems to go against that.
I get what you're saying, but the fact that they're planning a fairly elaborate wedding ceremony, presided over by the one and only priest of the Church of Cornelians, seems to go against that.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also, Molly once got mad at Beef just for staring at another girl cat's tittyhoohas.
Also, Molly once got mad at Beef just for staring at another girl cat's tittyhoohas.
lux
+0 -0
Gazongamelons.
Gazongamelons.
bumfighter
+0 -0
ta-tas
ta-tas
irondave
+0 -0
Casabas
Casabas
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Breasticles?
Breasticles?
drskradley
+6 -0
Breasticles - what news from the North?
Breasticles - what news from the North?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Quick, have a chubby before the professor notices!
Quick, have a chubby before the professor notices!
hellofyellin
+0 -0
The Winds blow foul in the Great Northern Wastes, Pectulon. The Glutes are on the move, the damned barbarians, and they move this way!
The Winds blow foul in the Great Northern Wastes, Pectulon. The Glutes are on the move, the damned barbarians, and they move this way!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Heaving breastations
Heaving breastations
rene
+0 -0
Kachangas.
Kachangas.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Dirty pillows!
Dirty pillows!
tekende
+0 -0
Is...is your avatar what I think it is??
Is...is your avatar what I think it is??
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's a tossup between triple penetration and making goggles around your eyes with your fingers. What is your decision ?
It's a tossup between triple penetration and making goggles around your eyes with your fingers. What is your decision ?
daidai
+0 -0
Woah it is fingoggles! And they shoot lasers!
...I thought it was an ugly cat shooting lasers.
Woah it is fingoggles! And they shoot lasers!
...I thought it was an ugly cat shooting lasers.
rene
+0 -0
Basically, look at it and think PEW PEW PEW!
DO IT!
Basically, look at it and think PEW PEW PEW!
DO IT!
numberkillinger
+0 -0
Cornelius is not the priest. He is the church.
Cornelius is not the priest. He is the church.
the_somnonanist
+0 -0
There are days where I have yearned to be a main honcho of things. Alas, my curiously underdeveloped biceps prevent me.
There are days where I have yearned to be a main honcho of things. Alas, my curiously underdeveloped biceps prevent me.
nabeel84
+0 -0
Oh no, no. Am I the only one who sees this strip and feels like they were mugged, and then punched in the face to add injury? Just when I thought in this crazy world there were some constants, like my being an asshole, and Roast Beef's all-around awesomeness, it has to be taken away from me. The fact that I feel so bad for the fate of a cartoon character makes me think I am either more or less of an asshole, since it either means I no longer empathize with humans or it is positive, that I can empathize at all.
Oh no, no. Am I the only one who sees this strip and feels like they were mugged, and then punched in the face to add injury? Just when I thought in this crazy world there were some constants, like my being an asshole, and Roast Beef's all-around awesomeness, it has to be taken away from me. The fact that I feel so bad for the fate of a cartoon character makes me think I am either more or less of an asshole, since it either means I no longer empathize with humans or it is positive, that I can empathize at all.
loneal
+2 -0
This is almost as bad as when Anders cheated on Maria.
This is almost as bad as when Anders cheated on Maria.
tekende
+0 -0
heh. Why can't I stop reading that comic, loneal? WHY? It is a train wreck of unrealistic drama and sex and I CAN'T LOOK AWAY!
heh. Why can't I stop reading that comic, loneal? WHY? It is a train wreck of unrealistic drama and sex and I CAN'T LOOK AWAY!
loneal
+0 -0
I like to think that all that drama and sex is entirely realistic in Sweden.
I like to think that all that drama and sex is entirely realistic in Sweden.
theirateturk
+0 -0
He can always claim that he was conducting research for a "Sorry - I fucked everything up" card
He can always claim that he was conducting research for a "Sorry - I fucked everything up" card
fuckyoufriday
+5 -0
(filed under "irreversible fuck-ups") sorry i got mouth sex from an ugly cat (inside) i won't blame you for breaking my stuff and crying
(filed under "irreversible fuck-ups") sorry i got mouth sex from an ugly cat (inside) i won't blame you for breaking my stuff and crying
kensai
+1 -0
Guys I think this is like Cerebus and she's a manifestation of Beef's weak-willed Northern barbarian failure and doesn't actually exist.
Guys I think this is like Cerebus and she's a manifestation of Beef's weak-willed Northern barbarian failure and doesn't actually exist.
hellofyellin
+3 -0
Anyone else notice how much the silhouettes of Beef and the Flight Attendant in the Restaurant look a bunch like two People in a Bed?
How's your mind?
Blown?
Anyone else notice how much the silhouettes of Beef and the Flight Attendant in the Restaurant look a bunch like two People in a Bed?
How's your mind?
Blown?
neonaoneo
+0 -0
I'll report back to you once I go back up to the top and check
I'll report back to you once I go back up to the top and check
neonaoneo
+2 -0
Fuuuuuck
Fuuuuuck
irondave
+0 -0
I noticed, but did not take the next logical step. Good thinking!
I noticed, but did not take the next logical step. Good thinking!
edwell
+0 -0
Chubby for well-delivered double entendre.
Chubby for well-delivered double entendre.
aliiis
+1 -0
It is blown
You blew it
It is blown
You blew it
aliiis
+0 -0
heh, my handfacepicture compliments this comment quite nicely
heh, my handfacepicture compliments this comment quite nicely
hellofyellin
+0 -0
How adorably shocked you are!
Yes you are! Yes you are!
How adorably shocked you are!
Yes you are! Yes you are!
aliiis
+0 -0
Let's be enthusiastic about one another's faces!
My enthusiasm for yours does not fade, but if anything becomes greater every time I see it.
Let's be enthusiastic about one another's faces!
My enthusiasm for yours does not fade, but if anything becomes greater every time I see it.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
I am glad that my face inspires such enthusiasm, especially since I intentionally tried to make it awkward. I am proud to say that I've maintained an absolutely unwavering enthusiasm for your face since the first post. However the years will ravage and wear, this will be the face I remember, and whenever I turn your way, it will be that face I see.
*phew!*
Now that the friendly banter is over,
LET'S HAVE LOTS OF BABIES.
I am glad that my face inspires such enthusiasm, especially since I intentionally tried to make it awkward. I am proud to say that I've maintained an absolutely unwavering enthusiasm for your face since the first post. However the years will ravage and wear, this will be the face I remember, and whenever I turn your way, it will be that face I see.
*phew!*
Now that the friendly banter is over,
LET'S HAVE LOTS OF BABIES.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
ps I also have a nana
ps I also have a nana
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
a.. huh?
a.. huh?
hellofyellin
+0 -0
Not you, son. Talking to aliiis.
Why does this always happen?
Not you, son. Talking to aliiis.
Why does this always happen?
drskradley
+0 -0
Aliiis, it would seem, is the darling of the boards at the moment. Everybody loves Aliiis.
I say it's the adorable avatar, the redundant multiple "i's", and the not uncommon references to casual sex acts.
Aliiis, it would seem, is the darling of the boards at the moment. Everybody loves Aliiis.
I say it's the adorable avatar, the redundant multiple "i's", and the not uncommon references to casual sex acts.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
This is true. When hot girls talk about casual sex acts, I feel scared but important.
This is true. When hot girls talk about casual sex acts, I feel scared but important.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
seconded.
seconded.
aliiis
+0 -0
I would give you a chubby but I don't want everyone thinking I'm easy
I would give you a chubby but I don't want everyone thinking I'm easy
aliiis
+0 -0
* casual references to not uncommon sex acts
Come on now, I was talking to you all eruditely earlier about moths and Army of Darkness with nary a proposition in sight! And the 'i's are to show that I think it is cooler pronounced in the French way. There is a story here but wait ah I have to go to work. (thank you for saying 'adorable'. Overall this comment actually made me pretty happy!)
* casual references to not uncommon sex acts
Come on now, I was talking to you all eruditely earlier about moths and Army of Darkness with nary a proposition in sight! And the 'i's are to show that I think it is cooler pronounced in the French way. There is a story here but wait ah I have to go to work. (thank you for saying 'adorable'. Overall this comment actually made me pretty happy!)
pogo
+0 -0
Yo mean you haven't been to her facebook site? It's the boots, man, the boots!
Yo mean you haven't been to her facebook site? It's the boots, man, the boots!
loneal
+1 -0
Beef is gonna owe Molly ANOTHER six hundo after this one.
Beef is gonna owe Molly ANOTHER six hundo after this one.
tessebatt
+0 -0
At panel three I was so relieved to realise that Beef has NO. IDEA. what is going on.
"Are you a kinky boy?" Hihi.
At panel three I was so relieved to realise that Beef has NO. IDEA. what is going on.
"Are you a kinky boy?" Hihi.
madmangosteen
+0 -0
her name just *has* to be Debbie
her name just *has* to be Debbie
mrprim
+0 -0
I have already spoken my peace. This is Cynthia. She's all grown up now.
I have already spoken my peace. This is Cynthia. She's all grown up now.
sheriff_mittens
+0 -0
Well. This certainly wasn't where I expected the story arc to go.
Well. This certainly wasn't where I expected the story arc to go.
roguecheddar
+0 -0
OH MY GOD that is my definition of kinky too!
OH MY GOD that is my definition of kinky too!
cromar
+0 -0
I'm gonna make it real dry for you baby. Sooo dry.
I'm gonna make it real dry for you baby. Sooo dry.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No...that's the opposite of what is good.
No...that's the opposite of what is good.
cromar
+1 -0
You're so kinky... how much teeth do you like ;)
Assetbar - that emoticon is quote. Do not flay me alive. LOL.
You're so kinky... how much teeth do you like ;)
Assetbar - that emoticon is quote. Do not flay me alive. LOL.
gmm
+0 -0
I love you for referencing the good folks at Derrik.
I love you for referencing the good folks at Derrik.
hendetta
+0 -0
"Dang man I can't get brought airline drinks by someone who has done oral on me."
"Dang man I can't get brought airline drinks by someone who has done oral on me."
higuma
+53 -0
Do you like it...you know...
Do you like it...you know...
tombsgrave
+0 -0
My meme-loving heart sings out to you, in lieu of a chubby.
My meme-loving heart sings out to you, in lieu of a chubby.
daidai
+0 -0
I'll chubby it for you.
I'll chubby it for you.
drskradley
+0 -0
Then dammit, you need to chubby it for me. Again. I don't care if I just chubbied it as well.
Then dammit, you need to chubby it for me. Again. I don't care if I just chubbied it as well.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have passed on your well wishes.
I have passed on your well wishes.
octafish
+1 -0
[spanish accent]You are Orally men?[/spanish accent]
[spanish accent]You are Orally men?[/spanish accent]
missbee
+0 -0
this made me spit on the ice cream i was slurping.
good job.
this made me spit on the ice cream i was slurping.
good job.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Must...resist...urge...must...maintain...dignity...
I see what you did there.
DAMN IT
Must...resist...urge...must...maintain...dignity...
I see what you did there.
DAMN IT
ford
+1 -0
I have this buddy, his wife only goes downtown on their anniversary. He gets it O RLY YA RLY
I have this buddy, his wife only goes downtown on their anniversary. He gets it O RLY YA RLY
ford
+0 -0
That was terrible, I need sleep
That was terrible, I need sleep
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
After recieving his satisfaction, Molly will leave Beef, And Lie Bot will lead Phillipe to Roast Beef and finally proclaim "THAT is the saddest thing!" in sincere disappointment.
After recieving his satisfaction, Molly will leave Beef, And Lie Bot will lead Phillipe to Roast Beef and finally proclaim "THAT is the saddest thing!" in sincere disappointment.
xud
+4 -0
She reminds me of the lady in the radiator from eraserhead.
She reminds me of the lady in the radiator from eraserhead.
numberkillinger
+1 -0
Is there a burn ward within ten feet of here?
Is there a burn ward within ten feet of here?
dwodles
+0 -0
Beef, what the fuck? We had a thing where if you were a real dude I would be all up on you. Don't make me take that back.
Beef, what the fuck? We had a thing where if you were a real dude I would be all up on you. Don't make me take that back.
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
But if you were all up on Beef wouldn't that be exactly the same as this present strip?
But if you were all up on Beef wouldn't that be exactly the same as this present strip?
dwodles
+0 -0
But I...but this is...don't twist my words around!
:hurriedly stows away stewardess uniform:
But I...but this is...don't twist my words around!
:hurriedly stows away stewardess uniform:
irondave
+0 -0
I don't know if anyone has said so, but I really like your interpretation of the handface icotar theme. Even though you are sideways and I have to crane my neck, you are lovely. Most opposite of Nice Pete. I would have a Quizno's with you, is what I am saying.
I don't know if anyone has said so, but I really like your interpretation of the handface icotar theme. Even though you are sideways and I have to crane my neck, you are lovely. Most opposite of Nice Pete. I would have a Quizno's with you, is what I am saying.
pogo
+0 -0
Now that irondave has broken the ice, allow me to pile on. Sideways is hot.
Now that irondave has broken the ice, allow me to pile on. Sideways is hot.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Cool, Liebots back.
Cool, Liebots back.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Love the avatar/picture/icon/facehand One of my favorite albums
Love the avatar/picture/icon/facehand One of my favorite albums
yearsinhotclaws
+10 -0
Yea I get a lot of chubbs for this avatar.
It is a good icon and a great album.
Yea I get a lot of chubbs for this avatar.
It is a good icon and a great album.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
EARTH. ATOMIZER. LET'S GO.
EARTH. ATOMIZER. LET'S GO.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
this is awesome. chubby.
this is awesome. chubby.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
It does kinda look like someone is stepping on your(her) toe. Aside from the expression that was originally intended.
It does kinda look like someone is stepping on your(her) toe. Aside from the expression that was originally intended.
whiteturtle
+3 -0
Beef stops just short of performing steaklingus because a woman asks if she can perform penislingus on him.
Beef stops just short of performing steaklingus because a woman asks if she can perform penislingus on him.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Or possibly she is a tranny and asked him to perform penislingus on her, based on the phrasing and the way she is drawn.
Or possibly she is a tranny and asked him to perform penislingus on her, based on the phrasing and the way she is drawn.
lawdog
+1 -0
Adding to the profound kinky-boy wrongness of this strip, cat peepers have barbs on them. I guess they would compliment the pointy little cat teeth.
Adding to the profound kinky-boy wrongness of this strip, cat peepers have barbs on them. I guess they would compliment the pointy little cat teeth.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
You're getting pretty deep with this; watch out for the rip tide.
You're getting pretty deep with this; watch out for the rip tide.
evolume
+1 -0
I MAKE COMMENT!!
I MAKE COMMENT!!
foea
+0 -0
gladiatorx?
gladiatorx?
nickgranger
+0 -0
He is going to choke on that food and end up in heaven again
He is going to choke on that food and end up in heaven again
latinhouseparty
+0 -0
Don't answer that question Beef!
Don't answer that question Beef!
fattybeaver
+0 -0
I bet beef gets it honkey talk style
I bet beef gets it honkey talk style
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's what you get for using a computer that basically has AIDS.
That's what you get for using a computer that basically has AIDS.
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
heh tres droll. note however that the terminal window is showing the lynx browser running in linnux on a server in a different state getting the same error, so it is in fact that assetbar was down, not just something local on my network or such.
It was the worst 20 minutes of my day so far
heh tres droll. note however that the terminal window is showing the lynx browser running in linnux on a server in a different state getting the same error, so it is in fact that assetbar was down, not just something local on my network or such.
It was the worst 20 minutes of my day so far
alreadyinuse
+0 -0
and pls note further that linnux does not "have AIDS"
and pls note further that linnux does not "have AIDS"
synnah
+0 -0
I thought it was Workbench.
I thought it was Workbench.
ford
+0 -0
Did you just misspell the name of your own nerdy operating system? Twice?
Did you just misspell the name of your own nerdy operating system? Twice?
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
It is for fat people, though.
It is for fat people, though.
pursesnatcher
+2 -0
given the number of elaborate sex games that we've seen beef and molly engage in, it is not completely unlikely that this 'painted doll' is in fact...
wait for it ...
MOLLY
Love those gloves she's wearing by the way...makes one wonder whether they're made of velveteen or perhaps felt.
given the number of elaborate sex games that we've seen beef and molly engage in, it is not completely unlikely that this 'painted doll' is in fact...
wait for it ...
MOLLY
Love those gloves she's wearing by the way...makes one wonder whether they're made of velveteen or perhaps felt.
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
or perhaps that's nigh impossible, what with molly being a hunchback and all...that's a looong neck
or perhaps that's nigh impossible, what with molly being a hunchback and all...that's a looong neck
invidious
+0 -0
Very clever hypothesis. Have a chubby.
Very clever hypothesis. Have a chubby.
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
NO
synnah
+0 -0
When I read this comment, 'NO' was my first thought. I was just waiting for you to post it.
When I read this comment, 'NO' was my first thought. I was just waiting for you to post it.
daidai
+0 -0
Molly paid Teodor to see if Beef's stardom would go to his head and make him cheat on her.
maybe.
Molly paid Teodor to see if Beef's stardom would go to his head and make him cheat on her.
maybe.
irondave
+0 -0
You and hellofyellin are almost certainly correct. Also, whoever up there said the helicopter is a ceiling fan: also correct. They are having themselves a dynamite roleplay.
You and hellofyellin are almost certainly correct. Also, whoever up there said the helicopter is a ceiling fan: also correct. They are having themselves a dynamite roleplay.
molesticide
+1 -0
well, boo to me, but i think the dude should just go for it. it is time that this naive young gentleman experienced the world in the way that only a blowjob, a crazy stalker, and a ruined wedding can accomplish.
the dude needs experience. i think we should support him in this.
well, boo to me, but i think the dude should just go for it. it is time that this naive young gentleman experienced the world in the way that only a blowjob, a crazy stalker, and a ruined wedding can accomplish.
the dude needs experience. i think we should support him in this.
missbee
+0 -0
i agree. boo to us.
i agree. boo to us.
quartzblade
+0 -0
Clearly Beef did not plan this far ahead.
Clearly Beef did not plan this far ahead.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
I don't even know how I feel about this. Molly and Beef are literally a match made in Heaven.
But on the other hand, Beef would pretty much be marrying the only woman he ever kissed.
But on the third hand, is that even a bad thing?
I don't even know how I feel about this. Molly and Beef are literally a match made in Heaven.
But on the other hand, Beef would pretty much be marrying the only woman he ever kissed.
But on the third hand, is that even a bad thing?
ajthesecond
+1 -0
I have married the first woman I ever kissed - trust me that it is not a bad thing
I have married the first woman I ever kissed - trust me that it is not a bad thing
octafish
+0 -0
Ok, so no-one is going to say anything about her nose? Her nose! *shudder*
Ok, so no-one is going to say anything about her nose? Her nose! *shudder*
octafish
+1 -0
Look Beef has a good out here. He won't be cheating. Everyone knows oral isn't sex, right?
"I did not have sex with that woman, Ms White Keds".
Look Beef has a good out here. He won't be cheating. Everyone knows oral isn't sex, right?
"I did not have sex with that woman, Ms White Keds".
nevlik
+4 -0
I see the underlying arc here. This is two times now that Beef has received air play due to his greeting cards.
I have stressed the pun for reasons.
I see the underlying arc here. This is two times now that Beef has received air play due to his greeting cards.
I have stressed the pun for reasons.
missbee
+0 -0
zing!
zing!
bumfighter
+0 -0
Oh SNAP! New theory:
Magical Mexican Realism Airplane.
What if this mother fucker twists time and space for ugly stewardesses that like cats with big arms and IT-administrator neck ties?
Oh SNAP! New theory:
Magical Mexican Realism Airplane.
What if this mother fucker twists time and space for ugly stewardesses that like cats with big arms and IT-administrator neck ties?
hamscout
+0 -0
NO. This is JetBlue. This is how things are. You should know this.
NO. This is JetBlue. This is how things are. You should know this.
daidai
+0 -0
If it was JetBlue they wouldn't have taken off.
If it was JetBlue they wouldn't have taken off.
neonfreon
+0 -0
this is perhaps the first achewood that a pervert might masturbate while looking at
this is perhaps the first achewood that a pervert might masturbate while looking at
achilleselbow
+2 -0
You are wrong .
You are wrong .
ddgoec
+0 -0
...since 'might' implies 'might not'
...since 'might' implies 'might not'
numberkillinger
+1 -0
achilleselbox knows exactly which strips are appropriate mastabatory aids.
achilleselbox knows exactly which strips are appropriate mastabatory aids.
drskradley
+0 -0
Well, technically only the last one could surely be even mildly arousing. Even for a pervert.
The Manflesh-posted slash fiction posted underneath, however - now that 's pervert country.
Well, technically only the last one could surely be even mildly arousing. Even for a pervert.
The Manflesh-posted slash fiction posted underneath, however - now that 's pervert country.
hamscout
+0 -0
You sir, are right .
You sir, are right .
ddgoec
+0 -0
Blowjob or wedding?
Oral or beatdown Showbiz with a folding chair?
Easy choice...and tip the dj on the way out.
Blowjob or wedding?
Oral or beatdown Showbiz with a folding chair?
Easy choice...and tip the dj on the way out.
trueblood
+0 -0
The way the Stewardess looks, dresses, and talks (especially the last part) implies that Roast Beef just took a TIME PLANE back to the 50s.
Yet somehow retained his fame and career.
The way the Stewardess looks, dresses, and talks (especially the last part) implies that Roast Beef just took a TIME PLANE back to the 50s.
Yet somehow retained his fame and career.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
No, he took a plane to Texas. That is the same effect.
No, he took a plane to Texas. That is the same effect.
oneshotnothing
+3 -0
roast beef fell asleep at his computer, and this is a dream. like super mario bros. 2. beef will thwart her attempts at oral sex by throwing vegetables into her mouth.
roast beef fell asleep at his computer, and this is a dream. like super mario bros. 2. beef will thwart her attempts at oral sex by throwing vegetables into her mouth.
achilleselbow
+1 -1
I still remember the first time I played that game and the utter disbelief and betrayal I felt when I jumped on the first monster that came at me, and instead of it dying, I WAS STANDING ON IT. I thought I'd done something wrong and jumped again. And again. When my friend told me you have to pick them up and THROW them, I put down the controller in disgust and walked away.
I still remember the first time I played that game and the utter disbelief and betrayal I felt when I jumped on the first monster that came at me, and instead of it dying, I WAS STANDING ON IT. I thought I'd done something wrong and jumped again. And again. When my friend told me you have to pick them up and THROW them, I put down the controller in disgust and walked away.
mira
+0 -0
aw c'mon
BIRDO
aw c'mon
BIRDO
dovey
+1 -0
achilleselbow is standing on it.
achilleselbow is standing on it.
xi
+2 -0
No. Dude. Why is she hella fugly? Why is this happening? I am having such a shitty week, man.
No. Dude. Why is she hella fugly? Why is this happening? I am having such a shitty week, man.
fattybeaver
+0 -0
She is a prostitute?
She is a prostitute?
yearsinhotclaws
+5 -1
Yo beef don't listen to these clowns. Hit that shit HARD, bro.
Yo beef don't listen to these clowns. Hit that shit HARD, bro.
onepapertiger
+1 -0
Fuck man. Fuck. I want to chubby this, but I am all out. I wanted to chubby it for the reactionary-rebel attention I would undoubtedly receive. Fuck man I am having a Problem with Priorities.
Fuck man. Fuck. I want to chubby this, but I am all out. I wanted to chubby it for the reactionary-rebel attention I would undoubtedly receive. Fuck man I am having a Problem with Priorities.
hamscout
+0 -0
I will chubby this thing because I admire your enthusiasm.
And because I lament my own priorities for having a chubby remaining...
I will chubby this thing because I admire your enthusiasm.
And because I lament my own priorities for having a chubby remaining...
dovey
+0 -0
I will chubby this for Songs About Fucking.
I will chubby this for Songs About Fucking.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Here, have a chubby on me, FOR REBELLION.
Here, have a chubby on me, FOR REBELLION.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Thank you sir. A favor such as this will not go unnoticed;
yearsinhotclaws, I will remember you.
Thank you sir. A favor such as this will not go unnoticed;
yearsinhotclaws, I will remember you.
molesticide
+0 -0
word!
(i make my fingers into an upside down 'v', swing my arm up, and vigorously thrust my hand toward the floor as i say this)
word!
(i make my fingers into an upside down 'v', swing my arm up, and vigorously thrust my hand toward the floor as i say this)
gumption
+0 -0
Roast Beef? Roast Beef! She is a prostitute.
Roast Beef? Roast Beef! She is a prostitute.
qwertycat
+2 -0
if this goes down there will be one less person beef can buy a burrito from.
if this goes down there will be one less person beef can buy a burrito from.
weekendofsound
+0 -0
GOOOOOD...
TIIIIIIITS!
GOOOOOD...
TIIIIIIITS!
diggidy
+0 -0
Oh Roast Beef. You do yourself a disservice by assuming that The Lady wanted anything less.
You have so much more to offer than depression and greetings cards.
Oh Roast Beef. You do yourself a disservice by assuming that The Lady wanted anything less.
You have so much more to offer than depression and greetings cards.
erinye
+6 -0
I can't believe nobody's deduced the obvious:
The helicopter is Airwolf.
I can't believe nobody's deduced the obvious:
The helicopter is Airwolf.
mo_rose
+0 -0
I hope you are right and I now have the theme tune in my head, it is not a bad thing.
I hope you are right and I now have the theme tune in my head, it is not a bad thing.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Therefore, the story arc will end with Beef getting blown by Keith Moon's severed head.
Therefore, the story arc will end with Beef getting blown by Keith Moon's severed head.
colorlessness
+0 -0
"Do you like it...you know...orally? ... Because, if you do, that is disgusting."
"Do you like it...you know...orally? ... Because, if you do, that is disgusting."
lemk
+0 -0
You guys are fucking strange.
You guys are fucking strange.
dovey
+0 -0
hahaha V-Chub
hahaha V-Chub
bjorntd
+0 -0
A comment left by bjorntd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NDCaesar, Audhumla, Davey-Boy, Teabag_Mel)
A comment left by bjorntd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NDCaesar, Audhumla, Davey-Boy, Teabag_Mel)
xi
+0 -0
Who lamed this? This is great
Who lamed this? This is great
jthm_guitarist
+0 -0
Is this a dream sequence?
Is this a dream sequence?
qingofchina
+0 -0
Its roast beef tacking up number two on the belt of love.
Its roast beef tacking up number two on the belt of love.
paperfishies
+0 -0
The first thing I said to myself after reading this comic was "What's so kinky about Bill O'Reilly?" And, after reading the comments, I was forced to ask myself, "What does O'Reilly have to do with tranny blowjobs?"
The first thing I said to myself after reading this comic was "What's so kinky about Bill O'Reilly?" And, after reading the comments, I was forced to ask myself, "What does O'Reilly have to do with tranny blowjobs?"
noah_j
+0 -0
i'm not sure why, exactly, maybe someone can help me out, but that last panel feels so damned familiar.
literary reference? film? maybe?
i'm not sure why, exactly, maybe someone can help me out, but that last panel feels so damned familiar.
literary reference? film? maybe?
jawsh
+0 -0
No beef! Noo!
No beef! Noo!
baryonyx
+0 -0
My feelings on this asset are OOOOOOHHH SHIIIIIIIT.
My feelings on this asset are OOOOOOHHH SHIIIIIIIT.
null
+0 -0
Does anyone outside of Ernie Bushmiller's Nancy wear a hair bow in that fashion? For I know not the like if they do so.
Does anyone outside of Ernie Bushmiller's Nancy wear a hair bow in that fashion? For I know not the like if they do so.
dutch
+0 -0
i hate to say, i gave it a 2 based on fidelity issues.
as others have said, don't do it BEEF!!!!!
oh how sad I would be.
also, it would be hard not to resist making it with other ladies as achewood basically dictates my actions...
example: see https://achewood.com/index.php?date=09012004
thats a typical night in bed...
oh and seeing as I've already done a whole bunch of double-returned paragraphs that are only really a sentence long, i'm pretty puzzled on some brews.
i hate to say, i gave it a 2 based on fidelity issues.
as others have said, don't do it BEEF!!!!!
oh how sad I would be.
also, it would be hard not to resist making it with other ladies as achewood basically dictates my actions...
example: see https://achewood.com/index.php?date=09012004
thats a typical night in bed...
oh and seeing as I've already done a whole bunch of double-returned paragraphs that are only really a sentence long, i'm pretty puzzled on some brews.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
you know who this lady looks like?
I am about to reveal the True Nature of Myself here, but if anyone is familiar with The Andy Griffith Show , and I mean intimately familiar, you may see a similarity with one or more of The Fun Girls. The character interaction, the speaking manner, the look: it all points to the Fun Girl who was into Barney.
the actress (Joyce Jameson) committed suicide, apparently.
and that is your Andy Griffith Anecdote of the Week!
you know who this lady looks like?
I am about to reveal the True Nature of Myself here, but if anyone is familiar with The Andy Griffith Show , and I mean intimately familiar, you may see a similarity with one or more of The Fun Girls. The character interaction, the speaking manner, the look: it all points to the Fun Girl who was into Barney.
the actress (Joyce Jameson) committed suicide, apparently.
and that is your Andy Griffith Anecdote of the Week!
irondave
+0 -0
I salute you for being familiar with The Andy Griffith Show . It was a wonderful show.
I salute you for being familiar with The Andy Griffith Show . It was a wonderful show.
tagrineth
+0 -0
OK the helicopter thing is one of the most awesome little panel sequences ever, period
OK the helicopter thing is one of the most awesome little panel sequences ever, period
deovalente
+0 -0
This whole story arc amuses me because one of my friends is a Flight Attendant and has a tendency to be a bit of a ho on the job.
This whole story arc amuses me because one of my friends is a Flight Attendant and has a tendency to be a bit of a ho on the job.
crawfomp
+0 -0
Nothing is more magical than Airwolf chopper blades cutting the sunlight into pieces.
Nothing is more magical than Airwolf chopper blades cutting the sunlight into pieces.
audhumla
+0 -0
beads
beads
Hello man, sitting in the park
I just said hi, woman in the park
Hey neonaoneo, I too am refreshing the page seeing what the comments will bring.
You look well!
Pardon?
I said you look well!
Fair enough
...Jenny
Pardon?
...Jenny!
No I'm sorry I think you've mistaken me for somebody else
No it's me, I'm Jenny, my name's Jenny
(Damn, I have to go - someone take over)
Oh...you're...oh! Hah! I thought..ohh..what a hilarious misunderstanding, nice to meet you Jenny!
(guys I need a taco or something, if you keep this up you've got it goin' on)
We've met before, actually.
Quite a few times.
Stop that, stop that!
Well played Straw, my arch nemesis.
Now Straw - am I right in believing your llamaed features were noticeably absent for HandFaceWeekend?
Ain't a problem, really - I prefer the mystery of anonymity in the humble impersonal avatar. Both are fun for their moments, however.
A dozen chubbies for the new avatar. Like the old one, but with badder asses.
Yep, I was moving to Boston at the time. But now I work nights!
... SLOWER BANTER?!!!
Guessing no-one else got it.
GUYS, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO MORE CONCHORDS ON YOUTOOB.
Preferably the song Jenny.
Also read yesterdays strip, in which this dastardly scheme was devised.
Alternatively, go about your daily life and don't.
Conchords countdown: I'm seeing them on Sunday!!
Nyah Nyah!
i can beat that, i'm seeing them on friday.
thats two days.
I AM SEEING THEM TONIGHT! YOU'RE KILLING ME, BUSTER!
You can't do that on the BALCONY, buddy?!
mom says its too windy.
This right here is some EXCELLENT quote-exchange
3 invaluable life lessons Arrested Development taught me:
1. Vodka goes bad, and rehab is a place you go when you want to avoid testifying. (or a coma)
2. Hot tubs should not be used to cook food, no matter how logical it seems.
3. It doesn't matter HOW you imitate a chicken, you still look like an idiot doing it. (even if you are as hot as Portia de Rossi)
4. No touching.
and that's why you ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE
I would just like to take this opportunity to say how much I fucking love you all.
...I'm now going to sneak away awkwardly before anyone realizes that nobody cares what a lurker thinks
has anyone in this family ever actually seen a chicken?
I'd get intimate with her chicken.
ANYONG
ANNYONG
*JEALOUS*
[img]https://www.intriguing.com/MP/_pictures/grail/large/HolyGrail116.jpg[/i] HEY! NO SINGING!
Awww.
After seeing this comment perusing the archives I looked for the "chubby/lame" option and found that I had already chubbied it! It was like a present for myself.
at this point I am quite certain it is a female.