jamers
+8 -2
Noooo! Cornelius! What will you do now? Nothing is worse than a tragedy that you knew nothing about.
Noooo! Cornelius! What will you do now? Nothing is worse than a tragedy that you knew nothing about.
lolcatdeluxe
+0 -1
What a nightmare, especially for a man with passions like Cornelius. Leave it to a cruel god like Onstad to deliver such a crushing blow. No character is safe. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT CORNELIUS!
What a nightmare, especially for a man with passions like Cornelius. Leave it to a cruel god like Onstad to deliver such a crushing blow. No character is safe. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT CORNELIUS!
lolcatdeluxe
+61 -1
[IMGS OFF]
She wasn't bad looking either it seems.
[IMGS OFF]
She wasn't bad looking either it seems.
lateadopter
+6 -2
It was only fair to give you a chubby, after you gave out so many by posting this.
It was only fair to give you a chubby, after you gave out so many by posting this.
biff
+0 -0
A comment left by biff was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, Zach, silver_lake, Moolah, cioran, theoneyouwant, Dainbramage)
A comment left by biff was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, Zach, silver_lake, Moolah, cioran, theoneyouwant, Dainbramage)
twohundredninety
+0 -0
A comment left by twohundredninety was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, mcowgill, cioran)
A comment left by twohundredninety was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, mcowgill, cioran)
silver_lake
+0 -0
A comment left by silver_lake was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Limapalooza, cioran, TwoTonTurkey)
A comment left by silver_lake was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Limapalooza, cioran, TwoTonTurkey)
biff
+14 -0
I must have had my head up my ass.
I must have had my head up my ass.
riazm
+0 -0
Fuck man, I read it through and missed that too, then I read it again and the full assault of the tragedy hit me. Man.
Fuck man, I read it through and missed that too, then I read it again and the full assault of the tragedy hit me. Man.
talix18
+0 -0
A comment left by talix18 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nighttoad, ocarinak, kylank, Howard, Zem, qwerty, JimmyK)
A comment left by talix18 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nighttoad, ocarinak, kylank, Howard, Zem, qwerty, JimmyK)
talix18
+0 -0
Thanks, y'all! :)
Thanks, y'all! :)
fielding
+36 -0
It doesn't say she died - only that she threw herself under. Perhaps Maria Von Stutz is a skilled mechanic, and the bus had sudden engine trouble. Public transportation must do its noble duty.
It doesn't say she died - only that she threw herself under. Perhaps Maria Von Stutz is a skilled mechanic, and the bus had sudden engine trouble. Public transportation must do its noble duty.
spinynorman
+0 -0
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Moolah, Crowpaw)
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Moolah, Crowpaw)
krisos
+60 -0
It wasn't like that at all.
For hours she stared into the eyes of everyone who approached hoping they would introduce themselves as "Cornelius", that man who she elevated so highly, the man she can't get off her mind. She is plagued by confusion and loneliness but has managed to convince herself that he will show up for the concert. After a few hours, when people start leaving the concert hall, she finally comes to the realization that not only will Cornelius never come for her, but that no man will ever come for her. Her life becomes meaningless. The one thing she still loves in the world has slapped her across the face, so she leaves.
She does not approach a bus with the intention of throwing herself underneath, she just finds herself in that position and realizes she has no reason to get our of the way. Stepping out of the path of the bus would be a deliberate move to continue living, which is something she can not bring herself to do.
The bus driver realizes too late what is happening. The sound of screaming brakes is followed by an ominous thud, then another as her body falls onto the rain-drenched road. Her blood forms little eddies in a nearby puddle. Her thick eyelashes bat across dry, emotionless eyes whose last sight is of a dark, empty sky.
It wasn't like that at all.
For hours she stared into the eyes of everyone who approached hoping they would introduce themselves as "Cornelius", that man who she elevated so highly, the man she can't get off her mind. She is plagued by confusion and loneliness but has managed to convince herself that he will show up for the concert. After a few hours, when people start leaving the concert hall, she finally comes to the realization that not only will Cornelius never come for her, but that no man will ever come for her. Her life becomes meaningless. The one thing she still loves in the world has slapped her across the face, so she leaves.
She does not approach a bus with the intention of throwing herself underneath, she just finds herself in that position and realizes she has no reason to get our of the way. Stepping out of the path of the bus would be a deliberate move to continue living, which is something she can not bring herself to do.
The bus driver realizes too late what is happening. The sound of screaming brakes is followed by an ominous thud, then another as her body falls onto the rain-drenched road. Her blood forms little eddies in a nearby puddle. Her thick eyelashes bat across dry, emotionless eyes whose last sight is of a dark, empty sky.
zefiel
+2 -0
SON OF A BITCH.
...Can i translate your books into spanish when you're a famous writer?
SON OF A BITCH.
...Can i translate your books into spanish when you're a famous writer?
porquechutzpah
+0 -0
but would she accept a date with an anthropomorphic teddy bear if he came calling?or would she just see him on the step, walking like a teddy ruxtapin in a smoking jacket and wonder what their children would look like, if only Cornelius would show....
but would she accept a date with an anthropomorphic teddy bear if he came calling?or would she just see him on the step, walking like a teddy ruxtapin in a smoking jacket and wonder what their children would look like, if only Cornelius would show....
lateadopter
+4 -0
Why did you have to write that? I just pictured Cornelius walking in real life. It was just like the teddy bears in Screamers. Now I'm going to have nightmares.
Why did you have to write that? I just pictured Cornelius walking in real life. It was just like the teddy bears in Screamers. Now I'm going to have nightmares.
steerpike66
+1 -0
'Well hello, young man' come the rich, velvety tones of the salon gentleman, 'might I interest you in a very dry rrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!'
'Well hello, young man' come the rich, velvety tones of the salon gentleman, 'might I interest you in a very dry rrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!'
spinynorman
+0 -0
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Kreuzkopf, silver_lake, StoatLad, jacksonspecific, TTAGXAMM, Epicurus)
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Kreuzkopf, silver_lake, StoatLad, jacksonspecific, TTAGXAMM, Epicurus)
spinynorman
+7 -0
I'm laming this because something crazy happened with the apostrophes. I'm not wasting everyone's goddamn time with something they can't read.
I'm laming this because something crazy happened with the apostrophes. I'm not wasting everyone's goddamn time with something they can't read.
zefiel
+1 -0
I read it, apostroshit and all. *sniff* dudes, where'd you learn to write like that? >.<
I read it, apostroshit and all. *sniff* dudes, where'd you learn to write like that? >.<
gormster
+2 -0
Chubby for coining "apostroshit". That's what I'm going to call visible HTML entities from now on.
Chubby for coining "apostroshit". That's what I'm going to call visible HTML entities from now on.
slab64
+1 -0
Well, to be fair, he only called it that because he didn't know what "visible HTML entities" were.
Well, to be fair, he only called it that because he didn't know what "visible HTML entities" were.
nighttoad
+2 -1
hush your mouth, that was fantastic. from now on, whenever i see the characters %u201c, i will think fondly of earl and janis. plus it might keep dummies from reading your excellent little story.
hush your mouth, that was fantastic. from now on, whenever i see the characters %u201c, i will think fondly of earl and janis. plus it might keep dummies from reading your excellent little story.
mastronaut
+0 -0
No, that was fantastic. Worth the effort it took to read.
No, that was fantastic. Worth the effort it took to read.
missbee
+0 -0
I thought the writing was excellent, and it wasn't too hard to figure it out between the apostrophe stuff.
I thought the writing was excellent, and it wasn't too hard to figure it out between the apostrophe stuff.
ocarinak
+19 -0
Sure, that's really sad- but think of it from the road's point of view!
It felt the dull thump even through the endless amount of confusion and bustle that plagued it.
The infinite drops forming streams and gullies along it grew colder. The old cobblestones had always felt for the rain, being composed of a similar sort of structure- hundreds of thousands of little pieces coming together to make something that, although very large and impressive in structure, was nearly perpetually dismissed as just a commonplace happening and no more.
The cars ran along it and ground their carefully designed tires along the rough surface. Each turn and creak changed the stone trail a bit- it felt itself eroding away year by year, and knew that the ubiquitous cars would be the end of the road for the road. Turning and squealing now disrupted the normal ebb and heave of the tides of human transportation.
The sewers of Belgium rushed beneath it- pushing this way and that in the fecal tides running just below the crowded streets. The rain always the unfortunate side-effect of causing what was almost like indigestion for the road. Sloshing and churning, bubbling and crashing the sullied flow against the cramped old walls- if the road had been in the unfortunate position to have a gag reflex, there'd be shit-water everywhere.
But time slowed for the road, as it felt the old girl collide against its weather-weary stones. She lay, red life escaping through the fatal wound. It felt the many feet scurrying over to the scene. It felt the blood washing into the sever below to feed some forsaken fungus. But above all, it felt another tragedy join the long history it had seen as it slowly ground away.
Day by day. Month by month. Year by year.
Sure, that's really sad- but think of it from the road's point of view!
It felt the dull thump even through the endless amount of confusion and bustle that plagued it.
The infinite drops forming streams and gullies along it grew colder. The old cobblestones had always felt for the rain, being composed of a similar sort of structure- hundreds of thousands of little pieces coming together to make something that, although very large and impressive in structure, was nearly perpetually dismissed as just a commonplace happening and no more.
The cars ran along it and ground their carefully designed tires along the rough surface. Each turn and creak changed the stone trail a bit- it felt itself eroding away year by year, and knew that the ubiquitous cars would be the end of the road for the road. Turning and squealing now disrupted the normal ebb and heave of the tides of human transportation.
The sewers of Belgium rushed beneath it- pushing this way and that in the fecal tides running just below the crowded streets. The rain always the unfortunate side-effect of causing what was almost like indigestion for the road. Sloshing and churning, bubbling and crashing the sullied flow against the cramped old walls- if the road had been in the unfortunate position to have a gag reflex, there'd be shit-water everywhere.
But time slowed for the road, as it felt the old girl collide against its weather-weary stones. She lay, red life escaping through the fatal wound. It felt the many feet scurrying over to the scene. It felt the blood washing into the sever below to feed some forsaken fungus. But above all, it felt another tragedy join the long history it had seen as it slowly ground away.
Day by day. Month by month. Year by year.
nighttoad
+0 -0
wow. if you guys don't slow down with these stories, this single achewood strip will have more fan fiction than harry potter. that might sound cool for a second, until you realize that eventually there will be much necrophilia and cornelius/teodor slash.
wow. if you guys don't slow down with these stories, this single achewood strip will have more fan fiction than harry potter. that might sound cool for a second, until you realize that eventually there will be much necrophilia and cornelius/teodor slash.
ocarinak
+2 -0
That's a sacrifice I think we're all willing to make.
That's a sacrifice I think we're all willing to make.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
hear hear!
hear hear!
nigelchaos
+0 -0
Of course.. I meant "here here!"
-sprays some Lame-away-
Of course.. I meant "here here!"
-sprays some Lame-away-
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I hear you!
I hear you!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Wow, that stuff works.
Wow, that stuff works.
alzuna
+0 -0
I want a book; "Mr. Bear's Junk Mail Folder : 20 Views". All of these little stories are excellent.
I want a book; "Mr. Bear's Junk Mail Folder : 20 Views". All of these little stories are excellent.
gormster
+0 -0
Okay, dude, I just saw Stranger than Fiction, just then, so, you know, WHOA.
Okay, dude, I just saw Stranger than Fiction, just then, so, you know, WHOA.
steerpike66
+1 -0
Her immaculate corpse resembles a discarded mannequin, stiffly elegant in the mirrored pools of rainwater, only one leg bent at a grotesque angle. Her pearls (cultured) roll away.
Her immaculate corpse resembles a discarded mannequin, stiffly elegant in the mirrored pools of rainwater, only one leg bent at a grotesque angle. Her pearls (cultured) roll away.
falseprophet
+1 -0
That was some cold Anna Karenina shit man.
That was some cold Anna Karenina shit man.
achilleselbow
+5 -0
The bus symbolizes modernity. And transportation.
The bus symbolizes modernity. And transportation.
cleanfatback
+0 -0
Oh man exactly.
Oh man exactly.
puguglypress
+0 -0
one of the few cases where the sequel was better than the original, krisos
one of the few cases where the sequel was better than the original, krisos
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You don't have to be so harsh, man. Did...did you know her then?
In that case, My Condolences.
You don't have to be so harsh, man. Did...did you know her then?
In that case, My Condolences.
andrew_
+0 -0
A comment left by andrew_ was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, SoManyWhales, TristanHW)
A comment left by andrew_ was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, SoManyWhales, TristanHW)
ttagxamm
+11 -1
I can only hope this be the start of an arc. It's been awhile since anyone's journeyed to Heaven or Hell, and I don't believe Cornelius has ever been.
I can only hope this be the start of an arc. It's been awhile since anyone's journeyed to Heaven or Hell, and I don't believe Cornelius has ever been.
son_of_selleck
+0 -0
remember that heaven has burned down since RBs last sojourn. That's why Molly was able to come to live with him. So the only alternative is Hell, and unless she has committed a terrible crime (such as eating too many tofutti cuties), I don't think Maria V is going there.
remember that heaven has burned down since RBs last sojourn. That's why Molly was able to come to live with him. So the only alternative is Hell, and unless she has committed a terrible crime (such as eating too many tofutti cuties), I don't think Maria V is going there.
gormster
+1 -0
She killed herself, remember? That was enough to send Beef to Hell last time.
She killed herself, remember? That was enough to send Beef to Hell last time.
evilpaul
+0 -0
Hell road trip!
Hell road trip!
patware
+49 -0
Heaven's probably rebuilt by now. Jesus was a carpenter, after all.
Heaven's probably rebuilt by now. Jesus was a carpenter, after all.
killerlimpet
+1 -0
And a sailor , too. Maybe it'll be a houseboat this time around?
And a sailor , too. Maybe it'll be a houseboat this time around?
saint
+0 -0
no no no...not a SAILOR. A Fisherman. I don't think that poses any real significance.
no no no...not a SAILOR. A Fisherman. I don't think that poses any real significance.
spinynorman
+1 -1
Meat does not fall cleanly from the bone we clal Jesus.
Meat does not fall cleanly from the bone we clal Jesus.
killerlimpet
+0 -0
correction: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=07122006/
correction: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=07122006/
spectre
+0 -0
Just Molly's building, not all of it.
Just Molly's building, not all of it.
sargasm
+0 -0
A comment left by sargasm was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by equinn2006, Fuzzery, Vee, biff)
A comment left by sargasm was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by equinn2006, Fuzzery, Vee, biff)
freelancelove
+0 -0
I don't think *all* of heaven burned down. That's a little extreme, considering Trouble Man and No-No were still around.
I don't think *all* of heaven burned down. That's a little extreme, considering Trouble Man and No-No were still around.
tenshanhan
+10 -0
I don't know, maybe it's just the Sunday night mood talking, but something about this comic, the lost opportunity, the poor woman waiting for a reply, the tragic end... I find it unremittingly sad.
And this time, I *haven't* been drinking.
I don't know, maybe it's just the Sunday night mood talking, but something about this comic, the lost opportunity, the poor woman waiting for a reply, the tragic end... I find it unremittingly sad.
And this time, I *haven't* been drinking.
lolcatdeluxe
+0 -0
Again, I refer you to Edward Gorey if you ike this kind of thing.
Again, I refer you to Edward Gorey if you ike this kind of thing.
slab64
+0 -0
Well, what the hell? Where the crispy Stellas at?
Well, what the hell? Where the crispy Stellas at?
mattfish
+33 -0
extremely rough chuckles tonight
extremely rough chuckles tonight
tenshanhan
+1 -0
Thank you for bringing one of my favourite Achewood terms back into my memory.
Thank you for bringing one of my favourite Achewood terms back into my memory.
kilroywashere
+1 -0
Perhaps even the saddest thing?
Perhaps even the saddest thing?
tenshanhan
+0 -0
Oh man, *is* this the saddest thing?
Nah... I still found that egg thing to be by far the saddest thing.
Oh man, *is* this the saddest thing?
Nah... I still found that egg thing to be by far the saddest thing.
kilroywashere
+5 -0
oh good grief; that's ridiculous
oh good grief; that's ridiculous
rachel
+0 -0
oh my god, connie eats that shit up, eats it up raw
oh my god, connie eats that shit up, eats it up raw
kilroywashere
+3 -0
It's not even the fact that Rostropovich was an actual cellist. It's that Onstad chose a cellist who just died this year, which only adds to the pain and serves as yet another reminder that Cornelius' days are winding down fast.
Mr. Bear is probably my favorite character in Achewood, and I think it'd be pretty much impossible to knock him off his rocker, but if anything is going to do it this is probably it.
It's not even the fact that Rostropovich was an actual cellist. It's that Onstad chose a cellist who just died this year, which only adds to the pain and serves as yet another reminder that Cornelius' days are winding down fast.
Mr. Bear is probably my favorite character in Achewood, and I think it'd be pretty much impossible to knock him off his rocker, but if anything is going to do it this is probably it.
nicolae
+0 -0
My heart...she weeps.
My heart...she weeps.
tim_simmons
+2 -0
this should be said in a thick italian accent
this should be said in a thick italian accent
digdugz
+0 -0
:'(
:'(
geysershitdick
+0 -0
A comment left by geysershitdick was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by worldbelow, scribo, SpinyNorman, wehavemagnums)
A comment left by geysershitdick was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by worldbelow, scribo, SpinyNorman, wehavemagnums)
zem
+0 -0
wha... what did you think they were?
wha... what did you think they were?
geysershitdick
+0 -1
I thought they were just all the same picture. Like, if you like a strip, you rate it 5 Roast Beefs.
I thought they were just all the same picture. Like, if you like a strip, you rate it 5 Roast Beefs.
sizone
+0 -0
A comment left by sizone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, Sargasm, vodkavonstroheim, ElZilcho, shoinan)
A comment left by sizone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KilroyWasHere, Sargasm, vodkavonstroheim, ElZilcho, shoinan)
krisos
+0 -1
Is it clear why that conversation was sent to the spam folder in the first place? Also, it seems to remain a mystery where his reply ended up as it does not appear to be in Cornelius's junk folder.
Is it clear why that conversation was sent to the spam folder in the first place? Also, it seems to remain a mystery where his reply ended up as it does not appear to be in Cornelius's junk folder.
zefiel
+6 -0
Cornelius never replied, but her heart was so clutched by love, she kept emailing in vain hope. Strange fits of passion have i ever seen.
Also, this was my most terrible fear when i was 16 and got my first email account. Countless internet girlfriends dying over me because i didn't have $5 for an internet cafe
Cornelius never replied, but her heart was so clutched by love, she kept emailing in vain hope. Strange fits of passion have i ever seen.
Also, this was my most terrible fear when i was 16 and got my first email account. Countless internet girlfriends dying over me because i didn't have $5 for an internet cafe
krisos
+1 -1
I mean Tedor's reply - wasn't that the reason they looked in the junk folder in the first place?
I mean Tedor's reply - wasn't that the reason they looked in the junk folder in the first place?
zefiel
+0 -0
Oh, it's lost amid the sea of digital unanswered love. Also, Mr. B either has a rad email service or she wrote the longest subject lines ever.
Oh, it's lost amid the sea of digital unanswered love. Also, Mr. B either has a rad email service or she wrote the longest subject lines ever.
gormster
+3 -0
Lost packets.
Lost packets.
drskradley
+0 -0
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rygarrett2, blastradius, Magb, YossarianLives)
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rygarrett2, blastradius, Magb, YossarianLives)
supergeorgina
+1 -0
This is one of my biggest fears. I actually meticulously go through my spam folder all the time.
This is one of my biggest fears. I actually meticulously go through my spam folder all the time.
honesttom
+1 -0
Oh good, it's not just me who does that. Phew.
Oh good, it's not just me who does that. Phew.
stuart
+2 -1
Did she leave a suicide note that said "Forward... the news... of my death... to cbear1812@gmail.com"?
Did she leave a suicide note that said "Forward... the news... of my death... to cbear1812@gmail.com"?
mikeleffel2
+15 -0
I bet she knew how many whales the ocean has. :(
I bet she knew how many whales the ocean has. :(
varnish
+6 -0
"So Many Whales" would make a good epitaph.
"So Many Whales" would make a good epitaph.
mikeleffel2
+4 -0
I want 'Great, Great, GREAT!- from the Finnish'
I want 'Great, Great, GREAT!- from the Finnish'
ntopp
+1 -0
It'd also be a good way to go. I favor any death that makes for good party conversation in the afterlife.
It'd also be a good way to go. I favor any death that makes for good party conversation in the afterlife.
lacrimus
+10 -0
The real tragedy here is that Connie never got that K$oCK he always needed.
The real tragedy here is that Connie never got that K$oCK he always needed.
sargasm
+1 -0
I was going to post that exact same thing, but you beat me to it. Now I can't give you a chubby because I used them all up already. So consider this a clear chubby, or something.
I was going to post that exact same thing, but you beat me to it. Now I can't give you a chubby because I used them all up already. So consider this a clear chubby, or something.
lacrimus
+0 -1
Sargasm! You! Are! Raaaaaaaaaad!
Sargasm! You! Are! Raaaaaaaaaad!
ntopp
+0 -1
I chubbied in your stead.
Which sounds infinitely more horrible than it really is.
I chubbied in your stead.
Which sounds infinitely more horrible than it really is.
rolotonybrowntown
+1 -1
it is impossible to have a good day apparently
it is impossible to have a good day apparently
gerry
+0 -0
The other day I happened to look at my spam folder, and a real mail was in it for some reason, from someone I wanted to actually hear from, and it was pure chance that I happened to notice it. This sort of thing is more likely than you think!
The other day I happened to look at my spam folder, and a real mail was in it for some reason, from someone I wanted to actually hear from, and it was pure chance that I happened to notice it. This sort of thing is more likely than you think!
zefiel
+12 -0
Stuff would never have worked out between a human former Miss Belgium and a small, erudite old stuffed bear, anyway.
..Or would have it? The tragedy is we shall never know if human-stuffed bear love can actually happen.
P.S. Eat a dick furries
Stuff would never have worked out between a human former Miss Belgium and a small, erudite old stuffed bear, anyway.
..Or would have it? The tragedy is we shall never know if human-stuffed bear love can actually happen.
P.S. Eat a dick furries
tim_simmons
+10 -1
they will, but only if it is attached to a 6 foot costume of an ugly raccoon.
they will, but only if it is attached to a 6 foot costume of an ugly raccoon.
johnnylandmine
+0 -0
Zefiel, this is Cornelius Bear we are talking about.
Zefiel, this is Cornelius Bear we are talking about.
tenshanhan
+3 -0
Exactly, man. For all we know, Cornelius Bear was *judging* the Miss Belgium pageant in 1974. That dude's been everywhere!
Exactly, man. For all we know, Cornelius Bear was *judging* the Miss Belgium pageant in 1974. That dude's been everywhere!
lateadopter
+0 -0
He probably did, but he might not remember it, as he would have been in a debauched haze after the loss of his dear Iris Gambol.
More importantly, zefiel should ponder the fact that many grown women still having their stuffed animals on their beds. You do not know what fond memories they might have of experiences they shared in adolescence. Cornelius was in like Flint, is all I'm saying.
He probably did, but he might not remember it, as he would have been in a debauched haze after the loss of his dear Iris Gambol.
More importantly, zefiel should ponder the fact that many grown women still having their stuffed animals on their beds. You do not know what fond memories they might have of experiences they shared in adolescence. Cornelius was in like Flint, is all I'm saying.
zefiel
+4 -0
Many grown women are still havink stuffed animals in bed, this is something i forget. Also only woman i share bed with only had small stuffed platypus in bed, and me.
P.S. The whole point of my post was to say
Eat a dick furries
Many grown women are still havink stuffed animals in bed, this is something i forget. Also only woman i share bed with only had small stuffed platypus in bed, and me.
P.S. The whole point of my post was to say
Eat a dick furries
molesticide
+0 -0
i thought it was flynn..?
i thought it was flynn..?
grayfox
+1 -0
She could've been the Belgian Underground ambassador to the USA Underground.
She could've been the Belgian Underground ambassador to the USA Underground.
brian
+0 -0
Love for Mr. Bear withers and rots on the vine unnoticed because of spam filters. God, that's sad.
Love for Mr. Bear withers and rots on the vine unnoticed because of spam filters. God, that's sad.
jackparsons
+0 -0
My real girlfriends are spam.
My real girlfriends are spam.
spicerice
+8 -0
This woman was hella stalkerish and crazy...emailing him time and again with no reply? Throwing herself under a bus after being stood up on a blind date? If they had met, it would've been a total Kathy Bates "Misery"-type shackles to the bed, write-another-blog-entry-or-i'll-make-you-hurt situation. Connie ought to write to his email provider and thank them for those filters!
This woman was hella stalkerish and crazy...emailing him time and again with no reply? Throwing herself under a bus after being stood up on a blind date? If they had met, it would've been a total Kathy Bates "Misery"-type shackles to the bed, write-another-blog-entry-or-i'll-make-you-hurt situation. Connie ought to write to his email provider and thank them for those filters!
valuedan
+0 -1
jesus christ this was an excellent strip
jesus christ this was an excellent strip
henrythecad
+0 -0
Third panel.. Cornelius grips the chair in foreboding despair. Perfect.
Third panel.. Cornelius grips the chair in foreboding despair. Perfect.
henrythecad
+1 -0
Also, it seems like Vlad and Maria would have made a great couple. She would be the nudest she was ever being.
Also, it seems like Vlad and Maria would have made a great couple. She would be the nudest she was ever being.
ricnine
+1 -0
Until she was so nude . Oh, what could have been!
Until she was so nude . Oh, what could have been!
pyromancer
+4 -0
All honking & dragging a bunch of rusty bikes.
All honking & dragging a bunch of rusty bikes.
slab64
+0 -0
It was a tenuous connection at best, but I chubby'd.
It was a tenuous connection at best, but I chubby'd.
specs
+0 -0
Oh Cornelius. My heart weeps.
Oh Cornelius. My heart weeps.
coolbreeze3
+0 -0
Oh, Mr. Bear's face in the last frame is just adorable.
Oh, Mr. Bear's face in the last frame is just adorable.
mobro_4000
+15 -0
So much for ever getting that wallet back.
So much for ever getting that wallet back.
footslogga
+0 -0
A comment left by footslogga was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by foolio, hikikomori, biff)
A comment left by footslogga was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by foolio, hikikomori, biff)
zek
+1 -0
No, he said he wouldn't look at Connie's password. Junk mail folders are free game.
No, he said he wouldn't look at Connie's password. Junk mail folders are free game.
thommy_h
+0 -0
No, he said he wouldn't look at the password.
No, he said he wouldn't look at the password.
justdan
+1 -0
Kick-ass strip. I find myself fixated on the problem with the puppy, though. Was the puppy hurt? *sniffle*
Kick-ass strip. I find myself fixated on the problem with the puppy, though. Was the puppy hurt? *sniffle*
molesticide
+0 -0
note that the news item on the puppy is still developing. the slide is so long, there was time to notice the puppy go down it, send a journalist to cover the topic, write the article, and publish it- the puppy is STILL going down the slide.
note that the news item on the puppy is still developing. the slide is so long, there was time to notice the puppy go down it, send a journalist to cover the topic, write the article, and publish it- the puppy is STILL going down the slide.
lugosh
+0 -0
Well... it is the world's tallest slide...
Well... it is the world's tallest slide...
ging
+2 -0
Mr. Bear has had his share of love lost and shared. I'm sure he understands that missed opportunities are as plentiful as grains of sand in the desert, and are ultimately an unavoidable fact of life.
Still, ouch.
Mr. Bear has had his share of love lost and shared. I'm sure he understands that missed opportunities are as plentiful as grains of sand in the desert, and are ultimately an unavoidable fact of life.
Still, ouch.
-0_0-
+0 -0
the joke is that classy people are not acquainted with computers
also, it's poignant i guess
the joke is that classy people are not acquainted with computers
also, it's poignant i guess
vreeeee
+0 -0
Oh god, I missed the bus story the first time around. Onstad, you are a cruel god.
Oh god, I missed the bus story the first time around. Onstad, you are a cruel god.
epicurus
+0 -0
Awesome.
Awesome.
chewy
+0 -0
I have had a thought... If she read the blog, why didn't she just go to the Dude and Catastrophe?!?
I have had a thought... If she read the blog, why didn't she just go to the Dude and Catastrophe?!?
zefiel
+0 -0
It probably wasn't open yet
It probably wasn't open yet
trialandterror
+0 -1
Goddammit. I just finished reading the entire archive, finished this strip, and then clicked next about 8 times before it sunk in. There is no next! What the hell do I do now?
Read it again logged in, I guess. Have to learn to live with suspense.
Goddammit. I just finished reading the entire archive, finished this strip, and then clicked next about 8 times before it sunk in. There is no next! What the hell do I do now?
Read it again logged in, I guess. Have to learn to live with suspense.
kilovictorsierra
+2 -1
Welcome to the land of eternal anticipation that is Achewood fandom. You;ll enjoy your stay.
Welcome to the land of eternal anticipation that is Achewood fandom. You;ll enjoy your stay.
gormster
+0 -1
no he won't
no he won't
plezure
+1 -0
Poor, sad Maria_v. Alas. I knew her, Horatio.
Poor, sad Maria_v. Alas. I knew her, Horatio.
dickolas_wang
+0 -0
A comment left by dickolas_wang was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, equinn2006, Dwilow)
A comment left by dickolas_wang was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, equinn2006, Dwilow)
redsalesperson
+1 -0
I hope the world's tallest puppy knew it was going to go down the world's tallest slide.
My heart leaps into my throat when it's clear that the dog has been tricked into a treacherous sliding.
I hope the world's tallest puppy knew it was going to go down the world's tallest slide.
My heart leaps into my throat when it's clear that the dog has been tricked into a treacherous sliding.
misterwolf
+0 -0
I seriously went and checked my spam folder after I read this.
I seriously went and checked my spam folder after I read this.
moissanite
+8 -0
"Here just give me your password and we can check it out."
"Do you mind if I do it myself? It's just that--"
"Oh sure no problem!"
"I mean I don't think that you'd--"
"No I totally understand. Go ahead."
"Thanks. Sorry about that."
"Nah man no problem it's fine. I completely understand."
"Here just give me your password and we can check it out."
"Do you mind if I do it myself? It's just that--"
"Oh sure no problem!"
"I mean I don't think that you'd--"
"No I totally understand. Go ahead."
"Thanks. Sorry about that."
"Nah man no problem it's fine. I completely understand."
andrew_
+0 -0
I'm so sorry that I can't give you mondo chubbies.
I'm so sorry that I can't give you mondo chubbies.
squi
+0 -1
Panel 1! Oh my god, panel 1! It is the perfect depiction of the frustration experienced both by the non tech-savvy when confronted with something about computers they don't understand AND the equal level of frustration felt by those who try to explain it!
Panel 1! Oh my god, panel 1! It is the perfect depiction of the frustration experienced both by the non tech-savvy when confronted with something about computers they don't understand AND the equal level of frustration felt by those who try to explain it!
kingsleymc
+0 -0
This broad really liked Connie. She read his blog at least two times.
"Missed that the first time through."
Poor old bastard.
This broad really liked Connie. She read his blog at least two times.
"Missed that the first time through."
Poor old bastard.
rykan
+0 -0
D:
D:
sweetlips
+0 -1
EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHILL WITH THE FUCKING LAMES.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO CHILL WITH THE FUCKING LAMES.
pogo
+0 -0
This was all over a long time ago (note the time lines), so you're talking to the wind. Besides, those first lames were deserved for a long chain of seconding the nomination of Onstad to greatness, which is really lame, you've got to admit.
This was all over a long time ago (note the time lines), so you're talking to the wind. Besides, those first lames were deserved for a long chain of seconding the nomination of Onstad to greatness, which is really lame, you've got to admit.
mangtastic
+1 -0
dang i feel bad for cornelius
dang i feel bad for cornelius
arelladawn
+0 -0
this makes me sadder than anything
this makes me sadder than anything
bhlaab
+0 -0
Good night, Anne-Marie sikorski
https://44.img.v4.skyrock.net/445/lesmissbelgique/pics/55230458.jpg
Good night, Anne-Marie sikorski
https://44.img.v4.skyrock.net/445/lesmissbelgique/pics/55230458.jpg
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"kliq here PAL" sounds so insincere.
"kliq here PAL" sounds so insincere.
njury
+0 -2
I'm from Belgium and Miss Belgium 1974 was actually Anne-Marie Sikorski. I'm slightly dissapointed really :(.
I'm from Belgium and Miss Belgium 1974 was actually Anne-Marie Sikorski. I'm slightly dissapointed really :(.
dusty
+0 -0
That's interesting, I don't even know where to look up who won the Teddy Bear Miss Belgium Pageant.
That's interesting, I don't even know where to look up who won the Teddy Bear Miss Belgium Pageant.
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
Cornelius' email fuck-up is way worse than Ray's, yet far more succinct.
Cornelius' email fuck-up is way worse than Ray's, yet far more succinct.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I read this one differently when I noticed the date. At first I thought it was random spam jokes, then I noticed that it was written in 2007, not 2001 or 2002, so I reread it more carefully and actually got the joke. I wonder how many other strips I've misread for this reason?
I read this one differently when I noticed the date. At first I thought it was random spam jokes, then I noticed that it was written in 2007, not 2001 or 2002, so I reread it more carefully and actually got the joke. I wonder how many other strips I've misread for this reason?
dersquirrel
+0 -0
I wonder how many people Cornelius has killed this way. At least seven, I'm guessing.
I wonder how many people Cornelius has killed this way. At least seven, I'm guessing.
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The motion carries.
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why do people lame the first comment? i see nothin lame about onstad getting a nobel :-?
Penny Arcade will always have more viewers than Achewood just as Pulp Fiction was beaten in sales by The Flintstones and The Santa Clause.
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haha! thank you for that! Chubby for the chubby buddy
"this thing came apart"
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jeofredo, Thorfinn, Deusoma, StagnantDisplay, aplomb, snoozebar, luckypyjamas, muddgirl, techiebabe, dzieger, Wolfslice, Budenhagen)
Ha ha, you said "hump."
A comment left by spectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mysterymeat1001, kylank, Steerpike66, Padijun)
Now if we could get a guy named Hump swinging things the other way... No?
A guy who can actually be remembered for WHAT he posts when he has a name like "dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately" most definitely impresses the world and all the important people in it (but maybe not the unimportant ones) and thus deserves mad chubbies.
Where the hell is this in Superbad?
The previous strip was the one that may have been inspired by Superbad. Either Manflesh was very confused during the posting process or being funny in his odd Manfleshy way.
His Manfleshy Ways Book IV: Desires
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Phat
A comment left by lolcatdeluxe was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, kylank, Taidje_Khan, Zem)
Well it IS still phat.
I concede the Phatness.