If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Doin' the Robot Wednesday, April 30, 2003 • read strip Viewing 74 comments:

Whatever dude, you're bangin' a website, no cookies for you.

Depending on his settings, he may end up getting cookies after all.

Not if he uses Protection.

Condom.EXE, only by AVG.

especially if you intend to download programs from limewire.

That program is the bitch.

You don't see the cats smoking much these days...

Yet that is exactly what I see here.

Do we ever see Beef smoke? In all the strips I can remember he just holds the cigarette kind of limply in his hand.

No.

Do we ever see Beef smoke? In all the strips I can remember he just holds the cigarette kind of limply in his hand.

I said NO , dammit.

My apologies. Later on in History....

[IMGS OFF]

Ray quit, and Roast Beef has attachments now.

Beef reacts pretty negatively to the idea as soon as Ray suggests it. He's probably thought about it before and decided it's something to keep away from

I know. Beef's refusal to play it cool here is kind of incriminating.

Roast Beef's hidden shame: his racism towards robot-folk.

Java_Dogg : pls. remove pic of Gynoid from nude gallery :(

Totally just covering for his being a cyborg since the operation. Baby-steps out of the robo-closet.

He doesn't want to have to go through ALL SIX DISKS of making love with a robot.

I don't know why men can't endure a few disks of foreplay. It's been the reason I've never liked robots. They try to shortchange you with a floppy when all I want is a flash drive full of love.

This post works on so many levels

OOOHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIITTTTTT!

A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Sleeps, NYU, chatterjee, nutmeg, dropkickpikachu, SenseiHollywood)

First time RB fucks a machine in the strip. Not the last.

I would be reading Achewood

If RB was reading the strip in which he banged a robot on the eyes of the robot he was banging it might create a time loop of such immense proportions it could destroy this dimension. Or just be REALLY hot.

Maybe he has an Unraveling of the Space-Time Continuum fetish.

Now that is an expensive fetish.

She does not remove her robo-pumps in bed.

are they purple?

Man think about how long you could last if you could read the internet in your partner's eyes. I'd be all checking peoples' facebook status and eventually the robot'd be like "DUDE ARE YOU DONE YET"

"IT IS STARTING TO CHAFE MY ROBOT VAGINA"

I love the look of utter disgust in panel 5.

Nothing destroys lovemaking more than a vision of Ric Ocasek.

the only way i can finish is with dreams of ric ocasek

Heh, Beef is a little Robosexual there. I wonder if you can catch a trojan from a ladybot?

If she doesn't give you a Trojan, you'll get a Trojan.

OR DID I JUST BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!?

Yes.

ric ocasek was 54 on march 23rd, 2003 (about a month prior to this strip).

willie nelson was 70 on april 30th, 2003 (the day of this strip).

either one is bad mental image during boff.

chubbied for Vlad-speak in your last sentence =)

Durink.

Revealed: What Men Really Want.

Robosexuals are horribly underrepresented. Go, Onstad.

Romosexuals are persecuted constantly, as well.

That's a Futurama reference that could easily be confused with NFL quarterback Tony Romo.

it certainly was easily confused...

The idea of having sex while pressing your eyeballs to your partner's seems...intriguing.

The day sexbots become cheap and readily available will be the beginning of the end for the human race. Robo-gonorrhea, the noisy killer!

No way, man!

They'll be like an oven: self-cleaning.

Endorsed by THE-SPACE-POPE

She has no knees!

Plenty of Firewire ports though. /lame

He has a buff back in his sex fantasy. Imaginary Robotfucker Beef must do mad pull-ups.

"No no it's cool, WebMD says it's just a wart, keep going"

"instead of warts, try to think of them as pleasure bumps".

man i was totally gonna make an original comment about the musculature of beefs back in the last panel but was beaten to it by over 2 months.

I know your pain.

The title made me giggle ridiculously.

I imagine that sex with a robot would be similar to how I posed my barbies to have sex with one another. Only a few positions possible, considering their knees only bend so far.

i like the empty thought bubble in panel 7

roast beef is deep in thought

How do you know that a robot's ass is bad?

Why find out?

IT MUST BE!

Why would a robot need hooker heels?

...and then we found that they make her 'look cheap, Sir.'

which is okay because he ain't (ever?) got that much money.

Roast Beef's displeasure of the idea causes a grammatical slip in panel 3.
Oh god why am I noticing these terrible things.

This was, I believe, the first Achewood that I showed to someone I was in a relationship with. It was an error.

it is a lonely thing to be a fan of achewood

robotic skeet

5 for "boff"

Lady robot wears her Minnie-Mouse heels during sexy-time with Beef. That her arms are splayed at right angles to her body makes the strip for me.

now if I could only get the horrible image of that last panel out of my brain...

Did he bite her shiny metal ass?

i think the alt text should be read like 'Another One Bites The Dust.'

ba-dum
doin', doin', doin'...
do-in' tha' Robot-UH!

Great! You could watch porn in her eyes during boff.

But Beef's a cyborg. Surely this kind of thing will be acceptable for him now?

excellent point.

I'm happy for Beef... this is just what he needed!