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Molly and Beef Talk Like Dogs Wednesday, July 28, 2004 • read strip Viewing 90 comments:

I'm not sure why, but this one slays me. I think their facial expressions are key. Great punchline too.

The facial expressions are indeed crucial.

this is my favorite one ever

A comment left by anathan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by amandulence, lk, SenseiHollywood)

A comment left by catachresis was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, mattbeetee, wildcat, glowpaisley, Jesler729, sevenarts, 7th_shot, jfenserty, Carpetbag, wittyname, jake11, sredni, dumase, bug56, GMM, mortshire, TheLoneliestMonkey, unquotable, Howard, NDCaesar, Semiquaver, 762, Sweetlips, FablesandBlues, LordPretzel, Ihmgard, Fcannon, synapse, apres, Huber, seren_tremio, SenseiHollywood, ibetso, stormagnet, musososeki, Chachibenji, Appers, ouroboros, Pigs, kestral)

A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, sevenarts, radarjammer, dumase, trisha, Ebessan, amandulence, ghoti, afvbs)

It lacks conviction. You gotta earn your lames around here, boy. That is, if your name isn't asherdan, catachresis, Dr. Manflesh or retardo. Those dudes get lamed even if they don't comment. They are raw.

you should look at some more of my posts.
although, right now, about a quarter of my inbox is from you, so I get the feeling you already do.

are you stalking me?

HOLY FUCK, THERE'S AN INBOX.

I want to be you, saint.

you're going to wear his skin, aren't you

Huh? What'd you say? I can't hear you through saint's skin.

Voice all muffled, trying to speak through saint's taint

A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by prolefeed5, sandswipe, Doc_Rostov, VictoriaW)

I like dogs and I still think that this is how they talk. they are smelly, ass-chewing, ball-licking, stick-chasing dorks. That's why we like them.

Yeah I like how in the talking-animal universe where cats can wear thongs and drive Escalades, dogs are still too dumb to say anything of value.

Otters, though, those cats are hell of cute.

A comment left by jonmw was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by glorify, rooster, Gigs, AJESTERONLY, mistlethrush, Ravigotte)

I'd say shout your memes elsewhere.

Chubbied to offset some undeserved lames. Your quotation of an amusing meme did not make me lol but does not deserve censure.

myor momation mo ma mamusin meme mwuh mwuh mwuh mwuh mwuh

For this, I close my robe?

Osterdan must not be a dog lover. I don't think I've seen a single canine in any of the panels, yet.

LOOK HARDER .

Ohh shiiiiiiiit , I completely forgot about those.

Don't. Don't forget about those.

I'm sorry. As a token of my apology, I bequeath thee with this:

[IMGS OFF]

Accepted. With a keenness.

Commander Keen-ness?

[IMGS OFF]

You get lamed by dog lovers who read a comic strip that only portrays stuffed animals and cats, irony?

I love Molly and Beef's relationship. It's great how they understand each other enough to have a conversation like this and both totally get what the other one is saying.

agreed... their love is so pure

Totally redeemed Molly after trying to shut down Beef's rant last strip. I was getting nervous.

I do love dogs, but they are pretty dumb. Like this.

A comment left by nurdbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ohmygooses, cailetshadow, SenseiHollywood)

Magreaux?

This is a great strip because it captures the type of moments I have had in some of my relationships where we can do this sort of thing, totally spoof the world together with no pants on. It is a good thing, too rare.

That is epic-true, epicurus. That is the sign of a good relationship.

Your comment makes me a little wistful. The thought of puked-up tennis ball pieces makes sure that I don't get too wistful.

Forsooth. I envy beef for this.

Also, how creepy is it that I find Molly kind of hot after reading this strip?

Our genetic imperative may force us to seek out a "healthy" mate, but our minds want someone to join us. The communion of mind to mind is far hotter and more holy than the wet sticky mess of sexiness.

(Before I'm misinterpreted, I quite enjoy the wet sticky mess too.)

Dang it, you're right. I think I should ring my ex-girlfriend.

dont do it man! she has simon now

he'll never get her like i did

chubby for "simon"

chubby for "simon"

Chubby for "Simon & Simon". I loved that show as a kid.

This comic made me buckle over. I still get a chuckle from it. Also, I think that this is what love is.

Go Beef.

this is a strip that made a lot of sense to me

A comment left by darkwaffle was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, straw, ezcmac, featurelessvoid, Jesler729, tourach3, wittyname, myrmidon101, peterjoel, Mastronaut)

for dogs, pooping in places is like literature

I MIGHT DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW

OH REALLY? IN THE SAME PLACE OR WHAT

MAYBE A FEW INCHES TO THE LEFT, I DON'T KNOW

I PICKED UP A STICK AND THEN ATE IT!

IT WAS HUGE!

YOUR ASS SMELLS INTERESTING TODAY WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY MINE

MMM THAT'S PRETTY GOOD STUFF. LIGHT AND REFRESHING, YET FULL-BODIED, WITH AN OAKY AFTERTASTE. WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND TO GO WITH THIS ASS?

These two are made for each other.

i guess...yeah, that's literally what happened.

Its a match made in heaven.

I like it best in panel 4 where ty're waving their arms about in that feckless, flappy, canine manner. 'Ain't that the truth?' is definitely the sort of dumbass thing that dogs bark at each other.

Song cue: "Animals" -Talking Heads

They wander around like a crazy dog
Make a mistake in the parking lot
Always bumping into things
Always let you down down down down.

Hey, they got a better lamp.

They had the new lamp on 7/15/04

Beefs upgraded his lamp!
GO BEEF!
no more pepsi cans for you dude

I hope that wasn't Ray's Pepsi can...

The line "IT MADE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME" just shows Onstad's genius. It's funny in a way that is really just too complex to explain without, like, a wikipedia page for it or something.

I was smiling gently to myself over this strip, when all unaccounted a corny phrase started to pop into my head:
"Awww, it's a match made in hea-"
....
I sat with my head in my hands for probably quite a few moments.
I fived it for the perfect pun.
The deep soulful longing for their love, as well as the piercing insight into the true nature of love, helped too.

this comment makes me wonder how many times i've thought the same thing and never caught myself doing it.

chubbied for this fact.

Today's Blogs

Ray: I found an old childhood game

My dog once ate the plaster off the wall.

But my cat recently ate my sweatpants, so I am not sure which species is the superior one. Maybe it's just me.

The difference is that your dog ate plaster because it is a dumbass. Your cat ate your sweatpants because they were hella lame.

They were glorious.

It's all in the motive.

Awwwwwwwwwwww...

A comment left by unsentletter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, rascaldom, ghoti)

I had never noticed before, but Molly kind of leads this conversation; Beef, who often innovates and dictates the direction of similar interactions with such as Ray, is in the passenger seat somewhat here.

That's cool. We don't see enough of Molly. Here is an example of why.

This strip reminds me of a time some ex-boyfriend's uncle told me that dogs have a language that consists of one word, and that word is "HEY!"

Since then, whenever I hear dogs barking, that's all I hear. "HEY! HEY! HEEEEEEY!!!!"

Wasn't that a Far Side strip?

Uncle could have read it in a Far Side strip.

All I nows is that that's where I heard it from.

This reminds me precisely of a Dexter's Lab short, where he invents a device to allow a stray dog to speak in English. Dog's dumber than a sack o' wet mice.

Link to video (talkin' dog bit starts around 4:00) - https://bit.ly/TL9Sa

best pillow talk ever

This is so brilliant =D fourth panel cracks me up! With the arms and whatnot

I very much enjoy the Molly x Beef bedtime stories.

I want me a Roastbeef to Molly with. Double sweet!

Plus - they are so right. Dogs yell, they don't talk like cats. Dogs are the retarded jocks of the animal world.

Exactly the moment it became inevitable they would marry each other.

as i read this, three dogs are discussing the latest excrements of their communal neighbor outside my window.

Best alt text ever.

I have never liked dogs. I have always thought them to be disgusting animals drooling and pooping all over the place. Plus they always want to be in my personal space, even some dogs who "never do that." Sorry dog lovers! 5'd.

That's ok.

Check it out, I like dogs and don't really like cats all that much but I'm not laming this guy just because he doesn't like dogs!

Now how about some of you cat-lovin' jack offs exercise some of the same restraint through the rest of assetbar?

Cat lovers tend to be a lot like Mac lovers, I've noticed. Take any chance at all to drone on about how adorable their little furball is and/or post pictures of it sleeping on their keyboard, or sleeping on the TV, or sleeping on the couch, or sleeping on the floor, or sleeping...you get the idea. Take every chance to relay the evils of dog ownership, how disgusting and stupid dogs can be, all while refusing to acknowledge that their little baby can and will do the exact same shit. I'm gonna get a fucking huge dog when I get back to the states, if for no other reason than that it could eat most of my body if I die inside the house someday, leaving one hell of a scene for whoever finds it. Let's see your pansy-ass cat do that !