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Achewood Award for Google Wednesday, May 17, 2006 • read strip Viewing 56 comments:

A comment left by methadone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tttt2, SaulBellow, gardenhead_)

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Man get away from that it ain't scratch 'n sniff!

Pshaw. The new logo might suggest shades of 1970s office culture, but the original gives you the full Weimar-period you'll-never-guess-which-future-dictator- we're -cozying-up-to effect:

[IMGS OFF]

So THAT'S what it goddamn stands for.

that makes my eyes water.

It looks like a globe (representing the world), being strangled by a black belt.

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Surprised no one gave you a Lame for that.

I couldn't help but google "onstads nuts"

Curse you... I had to as well.. and this page is the only one listed. Curiously, Google asked me if I meant "Onstad's nuts" and promptly gave me 0 results.

I'm guessing they're just bitter.
Google that is, not the nuts.

...and then suggests a misspelling of your last name.

I was interested in this story and googled it (what else), but apparently the Google font is called "Catull" and you can buy it for 99$?

Google lied to you.

A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotdejaneiro, hooves, Cane_5, SotiCoto)

Whoah, okay, THAT conjures an interesting picture. You sound like the text on a low-quality porno site.

Or close captioning of the Spice network.

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Catull was the first font that ever got its Bone on, little man!

IBM once submitted a log for the Great Outdoor Fight.

i have already submitted two logs on this shiny afternoon.

I do not think I have ever seen an afternoon as shiny as this. It is a problem I enjoy.

I once was in a choir for this IBM conference that was in NZ (a few years ago). It was pretty funky; at one point we sung behind a misted curtain. At the end, when they announced where the next one would be (screen flashes with ten possible sites, then settles on.. Hawaii!!!) we had to run up from behind the audience with party poppers and be really excited, then sing some more, waving to all the japanese guys.

That's seriously fucked up.

*ridiculous.

Hundreds of years from now, archaeologists wil think we are all nimrods, until Onstad's harddrive is excavated and Achewood emerges once more. Then the archeologists will know that not everyone, at least, was a nimrod.

Archeologist 1: Hey, this must be that Christ guy's computing aid. Wait till the grant's board hears about this!
Archeologist 2: Well, it would explain the nut-swinging.

Ahh... nothing like reading Achewood to remind you that not everything is a huge, steaming pile of shit.

Wow, I somehow had forgotten about your user name. I mean, I was confused for a few months, then I noticed it and thought it was awesome, the somewhow totally forgot about it, then noticed it again and thought it was awesome again.

Archeologist 3: I cannot wait to present this computing aid to our god, Assetbar.

PS - That is also a fine interrobang avataricon, pa_ass_nts.

One day, IBM and Google's private armies will destroy most of North America. Intel will be like Switzerland.

Not so retarded when the logo is formed by Ray's facial features, now, is it?

The Big Beef Period is in effect!

Two of them, in fact, plus three commas. Looks to me like that dialogue was written for Ray, and Onstad forgot to rewrite it when he gave it to Beef.

If I was so young when I started Google that I had my nineteen year old mother make the logo for me... Well, in my case I'd be -11 but that's still really impressive.

The mother thing was inferred from the design, the nineteen year-old thing was gathered from fact.

this strip broke a massive series of 5's that started slightly before the GOF. the madness had to end.

I have since revised my rating policy to compare the quality of each strip against only Achewood itself. When comparing this comic to anything else the temptation to give everything a 4 or 5 is far too strong.

A friend of mine works for Google. Every time we speak I chide him for not classing up their logo already.

He works for AdWords or something, though, and has no idea what I'm talking about.

no luckily people in the future will know our feelings about google seeing as achewood will have become one of the most popular things on earth by then, surpassed only by having sex while reading achewood.

I completely agree with Ray in panel 5. At the places where the IBM folks go to lunch, you drink your rye straight. Oh, sure, they'll give you a splash of water, or even a couple of ice cubes, but they'll look at you. They'll look at you and everyone there will know that you're doing it wrong. It is assumed that the men will drink rye at lunch, and while it is not assumed of the women, most of them do anyway. (The people who do not drink rye generally drink scotch, preferably Islay single malts, and most preferably very strong ones like Laphroaig. UN mediators are attempting to arrange a peace deal involving Maker's Mark, or failing that, some kinky Aberlour .)

Today's Blogs

Ray: My favorite personal sports

These are what I find myself going through the archives for.

Agreed--I'm heading out the door this minute with a box kite and a modicum of magic mushrooms.

"hundreds of years from now, archaeologists are going to think we were all nimrods"
i like how archarologists will be looking on the internet

The Internet: hypothesised to be a primitive method of predicting the annual vernal equinox, as well as potentially a site of animal and possibly human sacrifice, "for the lulz".

They will be data archaeologists; assuming we do not all die, the amount of data on the internet-equivalent in hundreds of years will be extremely phenomenal, and require professionals to sift through the many layers of history.

I find this extremely disconcerting.

You are a toast cat. You do not get a vote.

In Soviet future, Internet archeologizes you!

Y'know, I never really thought of Google as having a logo, because they don't really have a product you need to seek out and see on the shelf or anything. It's just there. So I had to take a look and I agree, it's a stupid bunch of multi-colored letters like a second-grader might assemble on a rainy day. What a nice cover for a money-sucking ad placement machine disguised as a helpful search engine. Google exisits to sell you things, people. You are all suckers. (I use Ask.com)

All search engines do that, and the reason most people prefer Google is because a combination of factors, including it's goofy and benign looking logo make the large corporate schlong buried deep in our bowels feel a little less painful.

[IMGS OFF]

I like the Google logo. Much, much better than Yahoo!.