o2dfemale+0-0
you are some kind of fucking idiot because there is no IP in that code.
sje46+1-0
That's true. That doesn't work on regular forums either.
You can find someone's IP from wikipedia sometimse, though.
sje46+0-0
Apparently it is alreadyinuse.
fancypants+2-0
....
there's an awful lot of sand in oldfemale's vagina...
HEYO
granularsilica+0-0
Sand? Did someone page me?
punkmonkey+0-0
Your comments make no sense. How is a fuck orgy "cliquish"?. The point of assetbar is (or has become) witty banter and observations about the strip. I feel that it accomplishes that objective to a reasonable degree. To be honest you sound like some under-educated anti-intellectual who despises people who use complicated words like "Trachea" and "Don Rickles". I hope I didn't make any obscure references that make me seem like a fractious hipster-doofus.
Oh shit.
punkmonkey+0-0
Damn. That was posted in haste without proper editing.
My point still stands however.
sje46+0-1
Witty banter? That's what she said! Lol. I mean, onyxly.
raticus+0-0 ^post #1 that actually sucks
stereo+7-0
Features:
Hijacks highest possible thread to increase visibility
Obscenely long
Nobody gives a shit
fancypants+0-0
*ding ding ding* WINNAH WINNAH
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Please frame your critique in the proper haiku derogatory format, young man. Incomplete
stereo+8-0
Excessively long
Hijacking the premier thread
Go fuck yourself, douche
theguitarhero+0-0
Alreadyinuse speaks
Everyone gets pissed off at him
Please hit ignore now.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
6-8-5!?
Oh dear.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
he was not Paying Attention.
theguitarhero+0-0
Nuh uh?! Fuck I always sucked with syllables.
scorpio_nadir+0-0 Much better. I was thinking something like:
the fool on a hill,
preaching to no one, he sees
the world spinning round
fermatprime+1-0
Didn't we do this
"Making a haiku" thingy
Like a week ago?
theguitarhero+0-0
Yes.
fermatprime+0-0
Double points for making it a haiku the last line of which is "Correct. I wanna cum." Which I think was done already.
fermatprime+0-0
Actually, triple points, since I realized directly after posting it that that has six syllables.
theguitarhero+0-0
Who are you talking to?
fermatprime+0-0
Okay, good, that's the first line.
theguitarhero+0-0
Who are you talking to is seven syllables.
theguitarhero+0-0
or something like that.
stereo+5-0
Sat on a pylon
Anus tore and bust my core
Wrecked. I wanna cum.
raticus+0-0
Ah, true Haiku-ness. Expression of a moment. Do many run that dark though? I imagine there would be a ton about wars, etc...
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
The bombs are flying.
Death, destruction, everywhere.
We will never learn.
thegoodwillgirl+1-0
*giggle.*
fermatprime+0-0
Ah, true Haiku-ness.
Expression of a moment.
Darker than most, though.
stereo+0-0
I hear children cry
Dad was much too young to die
Bullet 'tween the eyes
fermatprime+0-0
FUCK, it's six again.
why can I not count to five tonight.
daidai+0-0
I had heard shitty
Or so I thought but alas
this is such garbage
smilebuddha+10-0
Dear Oldfemale:
Thank you for your trenchant insight as to what makes good commentary on the ol' Assetbar. While I'm slightly perturbed that one of my posts got singled out as a general example of what an awful comment looks like, I would like to ask, what was wrong with my comment?
saulbellow asked what those black flecks were, and I answered with what I thought it was: the paper dots left from form-fed paper. I could have stopped there, but I decided to indulge my inner Shecky Greene and add a few lines about nicotine and Don Rickles. Would such a joke garnered such attention father down? Probably not; but circumstances and luck sometimes matter just as much as content.
As to the second quote, fancypants inserted a funny picture of a word jumble, which I felt worked in context of what we know the relationship between Liebot and Philippe.
I suppose this leads to a huge divorce between what you consider "proper" commenting on the strip, the whole strip, and nothing but the strip; and the other interactions we have with each other on this site, which sometimes, but not always, leads back to the matter at hand.
Sometimes I get annoyed by the sometimes rampant asshattery that passes for a conversation on the board. But then I remember that I am guilty of using the same trite cliches and general arguement making, so can I be mad at myself, or do I take it with a grain of salt?
In terms of my own comments: I think my record speaks for itself. I comment fairly rarely, and if my "comment to chubby" and "chubby to lame" ratios means anything, it's that people have tended to like what I say when I get around to saying it. I'm not in a league with some of the other commenters, but I like to think I pull my own weight. I also occasionally throw in pictures of my own devising in a category that has been politely termed "hastily photoshopped buggery"...or something to that effect.
I think occasional digressions add value to what we're discussing, I think it shows us all that we're not 2D boxes of text and grainy photos on a page, and some of the riffing we've made on the strips and each other's comments over the years have rated up there with our own little Algonquin Round Table.
In conclusion, I'm not going to tell you to get stuffed, or hand you a lame, but I'd like to know exactly what you've offered to the community here today more than your own digression from the strip?
smilebuddha+4-0
PS: Answer me, sirrah, or your journey from this mortal coil shall be hastened by the hand of Dixie!
...I'm sorry. Not appropos?
retinarow+2-0
When you're being possessive, it's "its", not "it's".
jlynes+0-0
Scalawag.
scorpio_nadir+2-1
He is usink tar & nicotine for toner in mini robo-laser-printer in jaw.
don't think about it.
fancypants+1-0
i thought about it against your wishes.
VIVA LA REVOLUCION
cpnglxynchos+0-0
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
raticus+3-0
WE ROCKIN' OUT NOW BITCHES!!
cpnglxynchos+0-0
meh.
raticus+0-0
I thought about it. It's a two-tone printing process.
Tar = black (letters)
Nicotine = the lighter background box
Pro:
- he never needs to buy toner
- Pat's hands are all nasty now and he'll freak out once Vlad tells him
Con: ???
That BWLEEP sounds very much like what would happen if a machine tried to beep while regurgitating something.
"Ticket 189754: PC will not POST. Goes BWLEEP and powers off. Send tech"
buffalobutt+0-0
What's freaking me out is that he both *yawns* and instantaneously comes up with word puzzles. I think we've been had, Vlad is a Robocop's illegitimate son.
deusoma+9-0
Ah, paper dots. How I loved to make it snow next to the family hole punch. Such childish glee. You might say it's a holesome memory. But that would make you a prick.
jeffspaulding+2-0
Last time I got a hole punch, I couldn't walk straight for a week.
smallblackdog+1-0
vitriol
fermatprime+15-0 He cold has a word puzzle in his mouth.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Also they have Lotto Tickets attached!
jeffspaulding+0-0
and coupons on the back
fancypants+1-0
i think a real smart person would vomit philosophy and shit word puzzles. think about it.
HURK HURK BLAGH *splat* "As Kierkegaard once said . . ."
versus
PFFFFT FURTTTTT BLOP
"Ah sweet! Madlibs!"
raticus+5-0
*hiccup*
Whoa!
shinkusan+0-0
I think he TALKS word puzzles. I base this solely on the fact that he seems to be gesticulating while printing.
robbingdog+0-0
damn, these puzzles are hard.
fancypants+25-0
Liebot's word puzzle for Phillipe:
steev_dayv+0-0
A comment left by steev_dayv was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by JimTS, implode, Blocken)
deadpool+0-1
4chan is evil. You need to be disinfected.
steev_dayv+1-0
Beef. Beef...I'm a troll Beef.
I keep my posting to a minimum, but damn if I don't find a few gems in the shitstream known as 4chan.
plummet+0-0
I am tiring just a little of the 4chan hate. But then I suppose it is en vogue amongst the young'uns to hate popular things.
raticus+1-0
I think it's the other way around, where 4chan is kind of like the Zerg swarm... people know it's out there and fear it, and the old people don't care as long as it stays off their lawn.
Really though, I don't think referencing any other community on here is a good idea as far as one's C:L ratio is concerned. People are here to be here.
plummet+0-0
I might also remind people that most 4channers are too stupid to inflict damage beyond going on Habbo and making swastikas.
Recently, people from livejournal and ED have been organizing raids and protests under the guise of 4chan.
Using the anonymous moniker they make it seem as though 4chan gives a shit about scientology, peta, and other things only millitant highschoolers care about.
4chan is a threat to no one. Unless you are a furry.
And if you ARE a furry, you will excuse me if I do not sympathize with you.
sje46+0-0
I think it's a little more nuanced than that.
plummet+0-0
Oh, no you don't.
I'm invoking Occam's Razor on this bitch. Simplest explanation is the best one.
fermatprime+0-0
Um...? It's simpler to say that LJ and ED are pretending to be from 4chan than to assume that, in fact, people in Anonymous are most likely involved with the *chans in some way? I'm calling bullshit on your Razor invocation.
i_love_kate+0-0
Yeah, man. If you go on 4chan you are a 4channer. And that is not a difficult thing to do, although it can be scarring.
salvar+0-0
You are not excused.
plummet+0-0
I Chubbed your assest by the way
everything+0-0
so now it's legal for 4chan users to get married in Iowa. I dunno if I'm comfortable with that.
mercuri0us+0-0
that is classic where did you find it?
falseprophet+2-0
For some reason, Liebot handed the puzzle to Philippe with those two answers already done for him.
I couldn't find any good alternatives to "action figure" :/
raticus+0-0
Petty as in small/minor works. Here's a point.
drskradley+1-0 "You strike a petty figure in that new coat..."
higuma+3-0
Ass Reamer
Reamer Tool
Tool Bag
Bag Whore
Whore Authority
Authority Abuse
Abuse Figure
scorpio_nadir+0-0
belated happy birt-day for your little one.
plummet+0-0
Onstad are you infuriated that someone lamed you
tekende+0-0 Ohhhhhhh , is that how it works...I'll try again on Pat's puzzle.
tekende+8-0
1. Cherrystone clam
2. clam chowder
3. chowder head
4. headmaster
5. master...okay, here I'm stuck.
kickstart+7-0
Master Piece
Piece Together
Together Forever
kickstart+0-0
Serves me right for not scrolling. And I think "Together Forever" is the superior tune.
fermatprime+0-0
Would Pat really know about Rickrolling? I realize it's permeated the culture to a ridiculous degree, but he seems the type to stay away from anything vaguely Internet-related.
raticus+2-0
Especially since the Subway forum incident...
handheld+0-0
Do not design music into web page. Is so newbie.
tekende+0-0
Why do I have eight chubbies for this
I didn't even solve the whole puzzle
tripleoptics+0-0
Wow...
srikamaraja+1-2
The homosexual cat is offended that the Slavic robot does not appreciate his business acumen.
raticus+0-0
Pat thought the idea was so awesome that he'd better copyright it. Maybe he's onto something though, someone's had wordup.comparked since '97...
He looks so hopeful in panel 3, holding it up expecting a great reaction.
dagwood+0-1
a type of puzzle can be patented, but not copyrighted. A unique instance of a type of puzzle can be copyrighted.
jeffspaulding+0-0
What ever would we do without you - Intellectual Property Man?!
davemandeluxe+52-0
Cherrystone clam
Clam chowder
Chowder head
Head master
Master piece
Piece together
Together forever
onstad+0-0
A comment left by onstad was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by illnoise, UConnHusky, Archon_Divinus)
sje46+8-1
You have a pretty impressive chubby-lame ratio, newcomer, for such mediocre comments.
"Boom"? What is that? That is nothing.
theguitarhero+0-0
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by RedMad, cunty, IronDave, illnoise)
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Dat Boom?
theguitarhero+1-0
Onstad is so hot he's making me sexist?
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Mebbe you needs to try Boom-dat terapy?
jeffspaulding+0-0
You'd think that the guy who owns the franchise would have an avatar you could read.
fermatprime+0-0
I'm gonna say "Boobs!" but that's probably wrong.
That's what I'm seeing, though. "Boobs!", not boobs. Unfortunately.
jeffspaulding+4-0
If boobs is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Groucho symmetry. Eyebrows, the whole kaboodle.
fineoakstructure+0-0
In case you're being serious: it says "Books!" It was a graphic used in the old shop.
fermatprime+0-0
That's what I figured, but I'm going to continue pretending that it says "Boobs!" if that's okay with you
sje46+0-0
You don't give me much credit.
theguitarhero+0-0
I know it's taboo to talk about lames and chubbies, but I really don't understand why I got four lames for this. It was both a reference to his Member Status AND a fact. That is Onstad, there is no two ways about it.
sje46+0-0
Maybe they think that you thought I wasn't kidding when I asked who he was.
theguitarhero+0-0
Maybe, I dunno. It's not THAT big of a deal it just bugged me, especially because the number jumped up two.
sje46+0-0
I know. I don't understand how you got any lames for that, to be honest. IT AINT RIGHT. IT. AINT. RIGHT.
thegoodwillgirl+0-2
Shh, you are talking to Jesus!
I mean Onstad!
fermatprime+1-0
Haha, I was totally about to lame him and then realized it was Onstad. I mean, had anyone but the author of the puzzle said it, it would've been kinda presumptuous and silly, but... yeah.
cool story me
endoftheworld+0-0
Well played, sir. You have earned the rank of probationary wordsmith.
davemandeluxe+0-0
Thanks. If there are more puzzles like this somewhere, I want to know about it. It was quite fun.
kickstart+0-0
Maybe if there's a home game of Chain Reaction
On the serious, maybe Games Magazine?
paperboy_2000+2-0
USA Today has this type of puzzle on their puzzle page, called Up and Down Words: https://puzzles.usatoday.com/upanddown/?POE=UCNUDW
Regretably, being USA Today, the puzzles usually fall into the 'sovled in first instant of retinal recognition' difficulty class.
davemandeluxe+0-0
Wow, no kidding. I solved today's in 0'29". It was fun because it was words, but I prefer puzzles that require more than one synapse. Maybe somebody should put in a call to one Mr. Will Shortz.
zebra+3-0
Aw. You ruined it. Now you look like a puzzle doing dick kind of guy, and not just like, maybe a guy who walks into a sandwich shop and kind of absently does a puzzle while he enjoys his soup. We think he comes in to see Linda, the waitress, but she won't say anything, just smiles and clears the table.
Wait no. Why am I crying? You ruined it you ruined it all.
tekende+0-0
Ah! Of course. On no. 5 I was looking for specific titles.
dabigv13+5-0
cherrystone clam
clam chowder
chowder head
head master
master piece
piece together
together forever
dabigv13+3-0
Ah crap.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
It's okay, we all do it. *hugs*
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
See? I just did it!
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Great job, you win at posting this second!
lateadopter+0-0
How bad must it be to be the one who didn't get recongition from Onstad, on a day when he posted twice to single out other users? damn.
dabigv13+0-0
Thanks for nothing, google .
davemandeluxe+0-0
I still think it's cool that you solved this.
i_love_kate+0-0
Yeah, I only got Vlad's.
i_love_kate+0-0
Although I had to work backwards when I got to 5.
i_love_kate+0-0
And get a piece of paper and a pencil.
i_love_kate+0-0
And ask my mummy to help. She didn't actually get the answer, though, she just put me on the right track to getting it myself.
zapatos+0-0
Teamwork!
cpnglxynchos+0-0
TEAM-WORK!
(cha-cha-cha!)
TEAM-WORK!
(cha-cha-cha!)
^i say this sometimes.^
zapatos+1-0
CHA CHA CHA
raticus+0-0
That is generally a good parent move.
philophobe+30-0
Now, if only 'Pat and Rod Choose Front Hall Bathroom Wallpaper' were a Choose Your Own Adventure, I'd be sold!
1. If you think Rod's preference is for a nice light green paisley, turn to page 7.
2. If you think Pat's an uppity asshole who would only allow Moby-brand reconstituted "No Bruise" peach fuzz felt paper with a non-alcoholic sorghum beer reduction for paste, turn to page 120.
3. If you think Rod is looking a little too longingly at the rough, work-gnarled hands of the Home Depot associate helping them order their wallpaper, turn to page 54.
This is...this is what the kids want to read, right?
senseihollywood+12-0
here you go...
everything+0-0
gay jokes were only funny when bush was pewsident
fancypants+0-0
"Come here sugar, let me show you the way to Valhalla," said Thor with an audible lisp. As he pour out two generous tumblers filled with coconut rum and put on Wagner's Flight of the Valkyries , Thor knew that Timmy would remember this night forever.
catgrl131+6-0
"Awww yeah," Thor yelled, "We gonna gay it up in THIS place! WHO WANTS TO GET THEIR GAY ON!"
hedonismbot+5-0
"Mr Thor, why do you keep bumping me with your hammer when we dance?"
"Just be glad you aren't snuggled up with one of those ice giants over there lil guy"
"Didn't you say that's the real reason Odin has to wear an eyepatch?"
"That's right Timmy. He didn't know when to stop staring. Now let's sneak off so I can show you some lightning"
"Are... are you gonna show me something magical Mr. Thor?"
"Correct. I wanna cum."
fancypants+8-0
If you want to know what Thor means by "pounding his hammer to the rhythm of the night with you," GO TO PAGE 42.
If you don't want to know what Thor means by "pounding his hammer to the rhythm of the night with you," GO TO PAGE 78 to find out why you don't have a choice in the matter.
desert_donkey+0-0 Quote:
GO TO PAGE 78 to find out why you don't have a choice in the matter.
lol. chubby (so to speak).
kickstart+1-0
Vlad reminds me of a computer program I used in 3rd Grade to make word searches. You input words that had to do with the novel you just read, and it jumbled them up and put extra letters in there in a grid.
Somehow, this counted as a book report.
deadpool+0-0
A comment left by deadpool was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rockstarsatemy, mercuri0us, SoManyWhales, tripleG, Magreaux_Dogg, habnabit, spicyponyhead)
cpnglxynchos+0-0
granted, they were Apple IICs until fifth grade.
maldraedior+1-0
we wrote choose your own adventure stories in third grade with Apple Basic using goto commands.
then when I took a real programming class my teacher couldn't convince me that was a terrible way to program, but that was because he was a terrible teacher and couldn't give an example of a function that wasn't 20 times easier with goto. I had to learn to use functions and subroutines for no reason other than to get a good grade and that is why I'm not making big bucks in the programming field today. THANKS A LOT HIGH SCHOOL COMPUTER TEACHER
cpnglxynchos+0-0
un-teach yourself! try what Ray did (which was probably only 6k up front with hidden charges thereafter, of course) so you can just check email and maybe get stuff onto your ipod three times outta ten tries.
you might want a family someday, dude.
stereo+0-0
I learned programming in a language that had no control flow whatsoever, other than what you set up by creating variables to decide whether a function should be running or not. Really makes you think, when you can't rely on command Y to come after X unless you make it so by having X increase some variable that Y requires.
scorpio_nadir+1-0
BOO to that.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
seriously.
rockstarsatemy+0-0
5 1/4 FLOPPY!!!
THEY ARE FROM BACK IN THE DAY!!!
Second one is easier and totally in the spirit of Fuck You Friay (love it!)
1. hole; 2. hole punch; 3. punch me; 4. me first; 5. first class; 6. class action; 7 action ;
WHoot.
iwannacum+10-0
Correct. I wanna cum.
smilebuddha+2-0
(S)he plays only one note, folks, but (s)he plays it so well .
fermatprime+1-0
(S)he stuffs our ears with... no, y'know what? Don't wanna think about that.
zapatos+1-0
Human Semen!
deusoma+0-0
Thank you, Zapatos, for pointing out the elephant in the room.
zapatos+0-0
It was only behind the sofa, I don't know how you guys missed it!
rockstarsatemy+0-0
who doesn't?
belgand+0-0
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, mortshire, fancypants, rckd, ethelthefrog, pettytyrant, mrblank91, wingspan, raticus, Frankreich)
rowboat+0-0
Wretched.
jeffspaulding+1-0
Furiously fulfilling my freckle fetish.
fancypants+1-0
dude, that is mega nasty. that is dog shit.
sje46+0-0
Come on? You're going to discriminate against a little girl experiencing sexual pleasure? What has this world come to? We find this picture offensive but not the picture of her firecrotch? Oh no, we can jerk off to that all day but as soon as you add a comment celebrating sexual pleasure at a young age . .you guys sicken me. There is nothing wrong with ten year olds coming. Celebrate life, celebrate love, celebrate the sex juices flowing forth from your bald nether regions as you experience the one true pleasure that is God. Why must we live in such a puritanical society? Am I a bad parent because I bought my eight year old a vibrator? Am I a bad parent for encouraging my daughter to love her body? Dang it, I hate you guys.
Not cool, not funny, not a good critique.
theguitarhero+2-0
If you are jerking off to a little girl's firecrotch I believe this man wants a word with you.
sje46+0-0
I believe she was older than I was, and older than 18 anyways.
sje46+0-0
That is a picture of Lindsey Lohan from when she was real young, Parent Trap era.
fermatprime+0-0
goddamn, has assetbar finally become 4chan /b/? godDAMN.
sje46+0-0
A comment left by sje46 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jettisoned, Carpetbag, tripleG, usversusthem)
belgand+0-0
That will be the last occurrence of such. I somehow got stuck on Encyclopedia Dramatica for too damn long and it infected me slightly. Seemed like best response to IWannaCum, perhaps was hasty.
Please see my apologies (enclosed) as proof that this sort of thing shall not happen again.
fancypants+0-0
HELLO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT?
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
I wish Chris Hanson was the father of the band Hanson, because then he could use his sons to lure unsuspecting internet men to his home because they think that they are talking to lovely young ladies.
theguitarhero+0-0
Hanson boys, what the fuck are you talking about? Those ladies are foine .
stereo+0-1
Her name is Taylor fer gods sake, of course that's not a boy in the middle.
aperson+0-0
That is mega-nasty. That is dogshit.
belgand+0-0
Maybe you and me need to watch Happiness together.
tekende+0-0
Let me guess: you love that movie and think it's a brilliant modern masterpiece.
belgand+0-0
I think it's flawed, a bit slow, and a bit overrated by teenage fanboys who like anything simply for being edgy. I enjoyed it, but not as much as Welcome to the Dollhouse which did a better job primarily by trying to more accurately portray reality and largely being successful in capturing the feeling, if not the specifics, of that age.
I also think that it's where the "I Came!" meme originated.
stereo+0-0
Hey belgand what did you think of 2001: A Space Odyssey ?
belgand+0-0
I like it a great deal. I thought my knob-polishing Kubrick fanboyism was a matter of public record around here.
stereo+0-0
Not to people who don't know who Kubrick is.
tekende+0-0
I'm surprised. What with how much you hate many things that are pretty great it seemed like the perfect movie for you to love, given that it is reprehensible and unenjoyable on every conceivable level.
sje46+0-0
Reading the Wiki article, it does seem like a film I would enjoy. Literary and whatnot.
tekende+0-0
I would probably feel quite secure in calling it the worst movie I've ever seen. And I've seen all of the Saw movies.
belgand+0-0
This is a oft-voiced opinion, but I feel it has more to do with people who take issue with the film's content and find it reprehensible than people who simply feel that it is a bad film.
tekende+0-0
I find its tone and handling of the content bothersome. I don't necessarily have a problem with a film dealing with the issues portrayed, although I do feel it took the whole child-raping plot too far. But Happiness didn't so much deal with these issues as much as it just took obscene delight in showing us these things without really commenting on them. It was like a deranged man digging through a monstrous pile of shit and dead animals, flinging disgusting things in our faces and telling us we should be laughing about it.
And really, think about this: imagine the same movie but without the child rape plot and some of the other content toned down a tad, to a light R or a hard PG-13. Do that and the film is no longer anything noteworthy or different. It could have been a good movie. But it was just an exercise in depravity and nothing more.
rowboat+0-0
I liked it a lot, but I'll be damned if I'm going to try to defend it.
hatstand_mcq+0-0
What an strange stance to take.
rowboat+0-0
You don't understand how close I am to being just The Guy Who Argues About Movies On Assetbar. I have to be careful. Also, I understand what people hate about Happiness. It's just that I don't hate it.
fineoakstructure+0-0
This strip has been up for over a week. It is the perfect time to start arguing about movies on assetbar.
Give in to your feelings; I can feel the hate flowing within you...
theguitarhero+0-0
It makes you strong-ah!
(right? we are doing a prequel Star Wars thing here, right?)
rowboat+0-0 Prequel!? For shame, sir.
theguitarhero+0-0
I'm not a fan of them either, but that's the quote from the movie, I can't change that.
rowboat+0-0
I think fineoak was talkin' Return of the Jedi. In fact, he was.
theguitarhero+0-0
I was talking about my line, not his.
fineoakstructure+0-0
Guys, guys! The important thing is that I kept you arguing about movies.
theguitarhero+0-0
Wait, Star Wars is a movie!?!?!?
catgrl131+0-0
Y'all some nerds.
tekende+0-0
What a strange place to use the word "an".
theguitarhero+0-0
What a long strange trip it's been.
sje46+0-1
Was it directed badly, was it dishonest, was it exploitative?
tripleoptics+0-0
You apparently never saw the movie "Hell Ride." That is, unquestionably, unarguably, the worst film ever made.
paperboy_2000+0-0
Did anyone else catch The Room on Adult Swim on April Fool's Day? That movie is my new benchmark for bad (and hilarious). It is dumbfounding how large the gulf is between what the movie wants to be and what it is.
I haven't seen Hell Ride or Happiness yet. World's most mismatched double feature?
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Yes! I loved The Room so much that I watched it both times. That scene in the flower shop was basically all that I could ever ask for in a movie.
paperboy_2000+0-0
"Hi doggie!" "You're my favorite customer!"
As somebody else said about that scene, "Top that, David Lynch!" Now I really want to see it at one of the midnight showings.
salvar+0-0
Clearly you've never seen "A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell". Which is not a porno, as much as I thought it was for most of the movie.
tripleoptics+0-0
I'm going to subject myself to being lamed mercilessly, but I honestly could not sit through Happiness. It just made me so uncomfortable. And that...is really saying a lot. Maybe it hit a nerve. Now Your Friends and Neighbors...that's edgy and yet also good.
smallblackdog+0-0
"dude, that is mega nasty. that is dog shit."
That's what you said last time?
hatstand_mcq+6-0
Would Pat take a pregnant woman's seat? I can also imagine him being very quick to give up his seat to her, so he could glare at everybody else for having failed to do so. Although he probably thinks having children is an prime example of the ecological selfishness and gross fecundity of the lumpenproletariat. I'm just not sure.
fancypants+4-0
Remarkable! You have sagely surveyed the circumference of the man!
falseprophet+5-0
Here's my attempt at making one. It's probably too easy.
1. Start to a great breakfast
2. Baseball cry
3. Vomit
4. Best Week Ever commentator
5. This finishes last
6. Snatch director
7. Friend of Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper
davemandeluxe+4-0
1. Pancake batter
2. Batter up
3. Up chuck
4. Chuck Nice
5. Nice guy
6. Guy Richie
7. Richie Valens
Very clever, A , would do business with again.
I should go back to doing work, on account of I am at work. Thanks for the fun, everybody!
invidious+9-0
Okay, uh, this is probably dog shit seeing as I whipped it up in like five minutes, but here's mine. Every clue is Achewood related.
1. Ramses Luther Smuckles
2. Roast Beef's romantic meal entree
3. Ray's food in Hell
4. This is a homeboy!
5. No-No, to Trouble Man?
6. Philippe's newspaper
7. Pat
kickstart+1-0
Alpha Male
Male Chicken
Chicken Breast
Breast Man
Man Friday
Friday Facts
Facts Snob
This was fun! Hooray!
morbo+0-0
Philippe's newspaper is called the Philippe times, friday facts is just a recurring feature. I mean, gawd.
invidious+9-0 Am worst user, on ugliest internet...
1. Oasis debut
2. Brushing-off statement
3. Manly goodbye
4. Fake cowboy place
5. Condiment made of mayo, garlic powder, and other stuff
6. Little girl's activity
7. Insult
theguitarhero+0-0
Definitely Maybe
Maybe Later
Later Dude
Dude Ranch
Ranch Dressing
Dressing Up
Up Yours
tripleoptics+0-0
that was pretty good, actually.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
1. Sister Suffragette
2. Suffragette City
3. City Speak? (this fits, but I don't know what it is.)
4. Speak Easy
5. Easy E
6. E Street
7. Street Fighter
falseprophet+0-0
City Speak (or rather Cityspeak) is from Blade Runner .
1. Is deadly.
2. Is rough.
3. Is book.
4. Is painful.
5. Is best thing.
6. Is rodent.
7. Is possessor of incredibly powerful roundhouse kick. Is so powerful.
1. Pedophile bowler.
2. Crucified.
3. New Zealand city.
4. Stereotypically poor animal.
5. Place for artificial rodents.
6. On a locker.
7. The guy Hagrid goes to in his official capacity at Hogwarts.
8. Sells guns.
9. Saul Bass designed their logo.
10. Arab Emirate or George Bush.
11. Stands on the crossroads of the dead.
12. Jesse Ball wrote this.
13. British medical charity for the hard of hearing.
14. Systematic creative work.
thegoodwillgirl+1-0
The Jesus
Jesus Christ
Christ Church
Church Mouse
Mouse Pad
Pad Lock
Lock Smith
Smith & Wesson
Wesson Oil
Oil Baron
Baron Samedi
Samedi the Deafness
Deafness Research
Research & Development
1. Suicide is the only alternative.
2. Fashionable clothing.
3. Popular shade.
4. Cowboy clothing made popular.
5. Popular french name; "O Richard! O mon Roi!".
6. Greek Trotskyist.
7. Radiohead.
8. Beehive harvest area
9. Brothers fight.
10. All Star.
11. Don't speak with this.
12. The gun just went off on its own!
13. German highway.
14. Vietnamese dumpling.
15. Little Prince's sworn enemy.
16. How fat is your milk?
17. You see a pretty girl.
18. Daft Punk.
19. What you gain from marriage.
20. 30p.
21. Gimli's booze of choice.
22. How to get a queen laid.
23. Rubbery delicious candy.
24. Not actually made from babies.
25. When your car shits itself.
26. La di da di.
27. Pat's hip.
28. Safety in NASCAR.
29. Where the cool kids sit.
30. Hired thug.
31. Low mental acuity.
32. Fatty acids.
33. Of value to poor people.
34. Of value to very few people.
35. You have something of value to them.
everything+0-0
i know i know the answer is PUDDING!
everything+0-0
oh shit I meant to say "What is PUDDING!"
thegoodwillgirl+1-0
Getting Old
Old Navy
Navy Blue
Blue Jean
Jean Michel
Michel Pablo
Pablo Honey
Honey Super
Super Smash
Smash Mouth
Mouth Full
Full Auto
Auto Bahn
Bahn Bao
Bao Bab
Bab Cock
Cock Harder
Harder Better
Better Half
Half Crown
Crown Royal
Royal Sugar
Sugar Baby
Baby Oil
Oil Slick
Slick Rick
Rick Roll
Roll Cage
.... and then I'm stuck. Seriously, someone help me.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
I'm thinking, from the bottom up it's
Collection Agency
Coin Collection
Three Coin (?)
Omega - Three
But I can't figure out #29,30,31.
:(
paperboy_2000+2-0
Roll Bar
Bar Stool
Stool Pigeon (?)
Pigeon Brain
Brain Food
Food Stamps
Stamp Collection
and I think that we want Jelly rather than Sugar in 22/23
But good job on the first half, I wasn't able to get a lot of those.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Yes! Thank you!
Royal Jelly makes sense, but what are Jelly Babies?
paperboy_2000+0-0
A British candy, evidently: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jelly_baby
I had only heard of them from old Doctor Who episodes. I didn't know they were real until I wiki'ed them just now.
paperboy_2000+0-0
OK, we doin' this! While we wait for the update. This is for stereo's puzzle below, I'm just putting it here to minimize the separation.
1. super natural
2. natural gas
3. gas tank
4. tank tread
5. tread carefully
6. carefully come in
7. come in eighth
8. eighth wonder
9. wonder why
10. why not
11. not ever
12. ever after
13. after all (?)
14. and I'm out of ideas
Anyone else with any ideas?
potatoes9000+0-0
As a side note, THEY'RE FUCKING AWESOME.
potatoes9000+0-0
As a side note, THEY'RE FUCKING AWESOME.
theguitarhero+0-0
DOUBLY AWESOME.
stereo+0-0
I can't stop doing this, so here comes round 3. These are subjectively harder (I don't know how long these are taking you)
The blanks part is pretty pointless so I'll just include the first & last ones.
1. Occult
2. Methane
3. Car's Explosive
4. Snowmobile's Rear.
5. Slippery When Wet.
6. Do Not Disturb.
7. Didn't Make It To The Podium.
8. CN Tower.
9. Doesn't Make Sense.
10. Seemed Like A Good Idea.
11. When Rorschach Will Compromise.
12. Happily.
13. Human.
14. Win At Poker.
15. Unimportant.
16. I Hope They Love You.
17. Sloan.
18. All Aboard!
19. Disaster.
20. Fat.
21. Pitch Axis.
22. Grand Unified.
23. Type O Negative.
24. Burns to Death.
25. Yorick!
26. Doctor work.
27. Detective Work.
28. Secretary Work.
29. Wood Work.
As a hint, a lot of these clues are the first part of a 3-4 word phrase.
sje46+0-0
1.Insufferable _____
2.______ _______
3.______ _______
4.______ _______
5.______ _______
6.______ _______
7.______ _______
8.______ _______
9.______ _______
10.______ _______
11.______ _______
12.______ hemotosis
1. Bartleby's reprimand
2. bumbling cop
3. meal time, with jailer
4. Spain's equivalent of Taco Bell
5. the last words of Penelope's soliloquy
6. Eleanor's secret
7. when the windmill _____
8. For sale, baby shoes: ______ _____
9. famous roof
10. How she got her groove back
11. Beware these
12. "yellow" disease
stereo+0-0
I don't think hemotosis is even a word, and none of the other clues make sense together.
What do you think you are doing?
sje46+0-0
How much time did you waste on it?
stereo+0-0
Not too long, about half the clues had immediate answers and nothing to connect to the ones above/below. I'd guess 5-10 minutes.
sje46+0-0
I think only 8 is the only one that is straight foward, and 5, if you make "penelope" into "molly bloom" that would be pretty straightfoward "Yes yes". The rest are really quite random, no answer in mind.
I wanted it to be fairly obvious that it wasn't real. I didn't want anyone to spend more than five minutes on it before they realize they've been trolled.
stereo+0-0
The words are will Yes though!
no wonder I couldn't work it out.
sje46+0-0
Oh man, you're right. I thought it was "his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will yes
Yes. "
My bad.
belgand+0-0
I see the answer to basically all of them as simply "twat". You know that this is correct. I have won the secret prize.
dasilodavi+0-0
14. all in
15. in-significant
16. significant other
17. (I'm lost on this one)
fablesandblues+0-0
I got:
1. Super natural
2. Natural gas
3. gas tank(?)
and then later
10. ___ never(?)
11. never(?) ever
12. Ever after
13. after _____
so 13 could be after all, and then heading in to your work. Lets do this ASSETBARRRRR
stereo+0-0
I just realized clue 17 has become ambiguous, so I'm changing it.
17. Sloan, 2001.
paperboy_2000+0-0
17. Other Man
18. Man Pile
19. Pile Up
20. Up Scale
21. Scale Field
22. Field Theory
23. ?
OK. I had to Google "Sloan" to get that Other Man bit. ( Will Shortz, I would never use Google to solve any of you puzzles, this was a special case! ) I was stuck with unto maker, Ferris's girlfriend, or Robert Conrad on that one. I see that Type O Negative is another band, I was working with 'universal donor' or 'blood type' there for a while.
I also like 'desk' or 'cabinet' to go with secretary, but I can't get anywhere from there. Someone, tag me out!
paperboy_2000+0-0
OK, I had to cheat and Google Type O Negative too, but it didn't get me anywhere. I think I know what you want for 23, though, and it means my 22 is wrong. I would suggest as an alternate musical clue for 23: " Atlantic City fact".
Just looking for a connection in the last six now. Doctors and detectives both go with graft, but I just can't make that work with everything else!
stereo+0-0
That is also an acceptable clue for 23.
I was being obtuse with the doctor/detective ones.
stereo+0-0
27 and 34 aren't right, which would probably make the intervening ones more difficult.
stereo+0-0
I didn't actually intend anyone to be able to solve the last 10 though, so that's pretty normal.
severide+0-0
Here's my attempt at a longer one, a la Stereo (thanks for coming up with the extended ones):
1. Bondsman's worst enemy
2. Republican's worst enemy
3. Amish toilet
4. Knows where to piss
5. Boxer's worst nightmare
6. Gun seller
7. Suspiciously uncommon casino result
8. According to Beef's mom, what a loser does
9. Where the wild ____ ____.
10. According to Flight of the Conchords, the status of humans
11. There is a movie about him walking
12. Jimmy Kimmel & Adam Carolla
13. HBO's worst enemy
14. New Year's celebration spot
15. What SpongeBob wears
theguitarhero+0-0
I'm trying to work this one backwards.
Square Pants
Time(s) Square
Show Time
Man Show
Dead Man
Are Dead
Things Are
Loses Things
House Loses
And here is where I'm stuck. Is it By House or Book House?
falseprophet+0-0
Well, going from top to bottom, I got
Skip Bail
Bail Out
Out House
House Broken
and for a Boxer's worst nightmare, I am thinking "Broken Fist" or "Broken Jaw" or "Broken Hand." But I don't know what gun seller would be in that place.
Perhaps instead of "House Loses" it's supposed to be "Dealer Loses"?
theguitarhero+0-0
No it's gotta be House Something, because The Gun Seller is a book by Hugh Laurie AKA Dr. Gregory House .
thegoodwillgirl+1-0
Broken Arms
Arms Dealer
right?
theguitarhero+2-0
Dammit!
Ok so as a collaborative effort between me, falseprophet and thegoodwillgirl the answer to the puzzle is
Skip Bail
Bail Out
Out House
House Broken
Broken Arms
Arms Dealer
Dealer Loses
Loses Things
Things Are
Are Dead
Dead Man
Man Show
Show Time
Time(s) Square
Square Pants
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
chubxorz
theguitarhero+0-0
I don't deserve that, I wouldn't have solved it without you two, I'd be stuck on thinking about Hugh Laurie.
falseprophet+4-0
It's Never Hugh Laurie
severide+0-0
You are correct. Have a chubby.
severide+0-0
And thegoodwillgirl as well.
theguitarhero+0-0
And falseprophet.
This puzzle would not be solved without the help of *~*Black America*~*.
i_love_kate+0-0
And also thegoodwillgirl!
theguitarhero+0-0
Well tgg already got acknowledged, I just felt bad because falseprophet helped too!
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
And also thegoodwillgirl.
theguitarhero+0-0
OK. THEGOODWILLGIRL AND FALSEPROPHET WERE THE ONLY REASONS I SOLVED THE PUZZLE.
stereo+0-0 ingrate
foea+0-0
Crossroads are Papa Legba's domain, Baron Samedi just does graveyards.
stereo+0-0
Son of a bitch, wikipedia lied to me .
foea+0-0
Lies in the media fall into Damballah's realm. I'm not making any of this up.
Now you know more about Vodou!
machineelf+0-0
that's a really good job and i probably couldn't do better, but hagrid goes to a lock smith? when? i want a fact check on my harry potter trivia.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Well, he was keeper of keys. So I imagine he needed a locksmith from time to time?
octafish+0-0
Can someone explain how this is more socially responsible than say, a crossword?
woodenteeth+1-0
It takes the money out of your thoughtless, right wing hands.
featurelessvoid+2-0
Oh, sure, let's just keep perpetuating the prejudice of the crosswords. "Down" mocking the depressed while "a cross" spreads the Christian propaganda. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Oppressor.
i_love_kate+2-0
Also the white blocks are the only ones you care about. You just ignore the black blocks, don't you? BIGOT.
zapatos+0-0
I always draw on the black ones, the graphite doesn't show up very well but that's okay.
magreaux_dogg+1-0
They're also hetero-centric. They only allow you to make words in STRAIGHT lines. HOMOPHOBE.
paperboy_2000+0-0
Socially irresponsible Word Up puzzle
1. Source of inexpensive clothing
2. British communists
3. Beer pong or strip poker
4. South Carolina football mascot
5. Highway rest stop activity
6. Prime qualification for a secretary
7. Freezer staple
8. Donation jars are an excellent source
9. The climax of a film?
10. Way to enjoy a Pabst Blue Ribbon
11. Place for a family outing
12. Around town run-about
stereo+0-0
Child Labour
Labour Party
Party Game
Game Cock
Cock_
_ Frozen
Frozen Food
Food Money
Money Shot
Shot _
_ Land
Land Rover
I'm not enough of a reprobate to get the rest :(
tekende+0-0
1. Child Labor
2. Labor Party
3. Party game
4. Game cock
5. Cock ?
6. ?
7. (assuming stereo is right here) Frozen food
8. Food money
9. Money shot
10. Shot gun
11. Gun Range
12. Range Rover
paperboy_2000+0-0
Number 7 isn't frozen food. I'm going for a specific brand.
jeffspaulding+0-0
1. Child Labor
2. Labor Party
3. Party game
4. Game cock
5. Cock smokin'
6. smokin' hot
7. Hot Pocket
8. Pocket money
9. Money shot
10. Shot gun
11. Gun Range
12. Range Rover
belgand+0-0
Well, in reality cock sucking was the answer to both 5 and 6 and that kinda threw things off a bit for myself as well as, it would appear, most others. Good job picking up on the colloquial term that eluded so many of us.
paperboy_2000+0-0
Good job. I'll admit I had to stretch in a couple places to make each item something Pat would be offended by.
Here's a better one while we wait for the next strip:
1. Park _____
7. ____ Dry
1. Penultimate property
2. Arrangement on a mat
3. Western view
4. Oil source
5. Late 60s movement
6. It may hum
7. Delicate label
stereo+0-0
Park Place
Place Setting
Setting Sun
Sun Flower
Flower Power
Power ???
??? Dry
Damn.
...
irondave+0-0
Power Line
Line Dry
octafish+1-0
Cameo is going to kick Pat's arse for this. So tell all the boys and girls.
Tell your brother, your sister
And mama too, cause Pat 's
About to go down
And you%u2019ll know just what to do.
Word UP!
awksedperl+0-0
Every time I've brought that song up to an under-30 person, all I've gotten was a blank stare. What a tragedy for them not to know the song, the haircut, and the codpiece.
stereo+0-0
Korn did a cover of it, so if you can find a Korn fan they will not blank stare at you.
However, they won't know about the haircut or the codpiece.
tekende+0-0
Or will they...?
stereo+0-0 And so once again, Tuvok found himself far from home, in the bed of an alien, and enjoying himself immensely. Maybe this "space conquest" wasn't so bad, he thought.
belgand+0-0
Twenty-seven and I get it.
You neglected to mention the keytar. Keytar presence must always be acknowledged. As contrition you need to watch the video again.
falseprophet+0-0
I only knew this song existed from commercials for Hey Guys Remember The 80s?! compilations. I saw nothing of interest there.
But then I saw the hilarious Saturday Night Live skit from the time Conan O'Brien hosted. And I had even less respect for Cameo. But at least I laughed.
kickstart+0-0
Tracy was awesome in that skit. Putting on the glasses, taking a drink of water. "WORD UP!"
falseprophet+1-0
"Is there anyone who has anything relevant to say here?!"
"I have some testimony that I think you'll find quite interesting..."
"Who are you?"
"I'm the, uh... Beekeeper from the Village People!"
"Very well, you may present your uh..."
"Wait a minute...there was no Beekeeper in the Village People! That's you in there isn't it Right Said Fred?!"
"...Yeah, it's me. Please, somebody feed me! I'm not too sexy for day-old bagels! Anything!"
kickstart+1-0
Somebody get this poor wretch a muffin!
emosexy+1-0
Hahahaha I loved that one. My favorite is when Rico Suave testified (played by Horatio Sanz prior to losing weight) and they ask him how come he's so fat now:
"Chocolate....Doonnnuutttsss"
salvar+0-0
Pat just got served
theirateturk+0-0
If I were the cartoonist, I'd put a lot of effort into making the puzzle appear to be solveable but make it impossible.
theguitarhero+2-0 this is why you aren't the cartoonist.
theirateturk+0-0
This is why no one will remember your name.
zapatos+0-0 DANIEL PITTMAN
stereo+1-0
Dan had bitch tits. And I'd just cry into them, leaving a mask of tears.
jeffspaulding+0-0
NOT DANIEL AGAIN!
tekende+1-0
For a short while I thought that was exactly what Onstad had done.
theirateturk+0-0
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by falseprophet, TheSoulBear, tuquee)
i_love_kate+1-0
I love to think that Onstad was the one who lamed this.
invidious+0-0
I reset my lame limit to 1 just so I could find out. Alas, no.
theirateturk+1-0
Just log in as him and do it yourself.
(His password is Philippeis5)
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Theirateturk is getting way too existential over a silly puzzle. He sees it symbolizing the meaning of life , and is intimidated.
Not so ironically, he becomes irate over it.
theirateturk+9-0
HOW ABOUT 'I RATE' MY FIST INTO YOUR STOMACH YOU FUCKING JERK
scorpio_nadir+0-0
theirateturk brings the hot sass with caps
scorpio_nadir+0-0 OOOOOPH!!
24 hour delayed reaction.
jeffspaulding+0-0
Walter Monheit! Where have you been?
plummet+0-0
Being a cock to a stranger - check
fermatprime+1-0
Any strip where Pat gets insulted 7 times in 10 panels is an automatic 5.
nice-on-water+0-0
Finally some actual robotic activity from that smarmy Slavic so-and-so!
starchybunker+0-0
I tried using my cursor to hold my place in the boxes and the alt text kept annoyingly obscuring the puzzle.
dagwood+1-0
maybe you weren't doing it right. did you try rebooting?
kaz+0-0
I'm loving all these Vlad show comics
zapatos+0-0
We are in accordance. No that isn't the right word...
gladi8orrex+0-0
Correct. I want to cum.
fishycunt+0-0
You *wanna* cum. Get it right.
stereo+2-0
Correct. I wanna cum.
zapatos+0-0
I do not wanna cum, in your fishy cunt.
jeffspaulding+4-0 Quote:
I do not wanna cum, in your fishy cunt.
How about a Kitschy Funt?
zapatos+0-0
I am okay with not having sex with, or near, that man.
diplomat76+0-0
I concur, the Vlad show is genius. He tells puts his guests in their place and looks classy with that tie and cigarette.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
sprechen Sie classy ?
gladi8orrex+0-0
I dun unastan deh epeel o sexn2rcourse i mena is jus' a hug dance til u sneeze ^_- *SHRUG* i mena, *SHRUG* i'd rather play a rond o starcraft 4 more pleasure plus will lass longah ^_- *SHRUG*
amway, wat is urs thot cuz ass allways i is wan' ur feedbax on dis so plz dun b shy and also don't hesit8 2 replay 2 dis an' lemme noes what u fink abot dis ur thoughts r mpourtant 2 me
^_^ ^_^ ^_^
gladi8orrex+0-0
I farted, lol
everything+0-0
no no no is system on bring of chaos slights thinkgs send plunge into disorder n anarchy maybe you fart it cause world financial collapse best to hold it in.
everything+0-1
well uh Gladi I uh... what can I say my thoughts on that well first I read it and I say wow that gladi8orex is the man he has some finnnneeeee literary symbolism goinnnnk on. which is... really a contrast, like the masters would do on their canvases with oil... really a contrast to the uh... contrasting cadence and that ... uh... particular ... uh... linguistic convention you adhere to
obviously your intellectual capacity is pretty significant. mayhbe too significant. Mayhbe part of brain overdrive into hay wire red or green? Which ones is it? Red wire or green haywire? if gladi8 character a form of mental relazation, well, very good but maybe you should try medication also. slow that brain down, even it out, you know...
also I recommend air conditioning. Brain can not work right when overheated. if you is in southern state of mind, georiga in yhour mind youre goin to carolina or chemical soils of west verginia, be sures to get the air conditioning.
in other news I read that the economy is no longer industrial it is now information inconomy. first was agriain argacouture, next industry... man against nature, then man against artificials nature..
now we are so muchs in the informations it is all man against man. on the information assetbahn of life.
teere is no speed linints here. also laws of phisinks can well not break but bendink okayh.
word up
gladi8orrex+2-0
lol eerybody eerything is alreddyinuse. is so obv
fermatprime+0-0
Affirmative. I desire ejaculation.
the follow-up to everyone's favorite desk-side companion:
belgand+0-0
Do the kids even know what Cliff's Notes is? I thought the lazy children of today who couldn't be bothered to actually read something were using... was it Spark Notes? I can't recall.
tekende+0-0
They use wikipedia.
sje46+0-0
I use both, but spark notes is much better, in that they provide much more information, and analyses and such.
I never read a Cliff Notes because I don't think they're online . .. they are still sold, though.
I don't read Spark notes because I'm lazy. It's good for deciphering books I read on my own, like Joyce and Dostoevsky, plus, with easy books, it gives me extra perspective.
belgand+0-0
I would say that those sorts of things are to be generally discouraged, especially in an academic environment. If I asked students to read a work I'd be interested in their interpretations and analyses and I feel that something like that would taint them. I mean, I see the point if you're going to use it in a legitimate context, but it still seems a bit like students use it, aside from just to avoid reading the work at all, but to give them pre-formed opinions to spout back. I'd feel the same if they were reading and citing scholarly works as well.
In my defense I did once use a study guide myself for my own, non-class related read-through of The Divine Comedy (and this was a hell of a long time before Spark Notes... I think it was a Barron's guide actually), but mainly because I am sadly lacking in my knowledge of 13th Century Italian nobles and Medieval popes and it was a lot easier and more directed than trying to search that look them up in the encyclopedia or such. If you're reading something like that for a class I'd say it's your teacher's responsibility to provide that sort of information for you so you can appreciate why Dante was so pissed at some dude that he had to be stuck upside down in sand. If your teacher does not do this feel free to write him or her in yourself.
tripleg+0-0
p.s. from an english teacher... the level of analysis is pretty much mediocre as hell and should only be useful to the poor kid with poor reading comprehension.
stereo+0-0
Shallow kids like me need marks too! It's not like we chose to take English, it's mandatory.
tripleg+0-0
cheat off the smart kid like everybody else.
sje46+0-0
I can see how it can be academically dishonest, but I don't see what is too wrong with it if you are reading something for pleasure. The whole point of reading literary books is to make these connections, to analyze what happens. Maybe not on a deep level, but it isn't just shallow escapism. If you are reading something for pleasure, why would you look it up in sparknotes if you weren't already interested in analysis? You wouldn't . .you would only read it to see if you understood the events correctly and because you are interested in different perspectives. It's not like I would read Portrait of an Artist, say "that was good escapism, now to sparknotes to do the thinking for me!". The knowledge gained would not be yours, and so you would have no interest in it.
Also, it's fine to use if you want to know the summary of a story you don't have time to read. If someone says "you remind me a lot of Lysander in Midsummer ?Night's Dream", there is nothing wrong with reading the summary to understand their reference. And philosophical works . . .I want to understand Nietzsche's theories--I'm not interested in his writing in itself. And I don't have time to read it, so I read the sparknotes. You won't have a total understanding, but you would get a pretty good one, maybe enough to argue with.
tripleg+0-0
hmm... my two cents, if you're the type to read those for pleasure, i'm guessing you're capable of not feeling too challenged by reading an explication that's a bit more academic.
sje46+0-0
I don't really read too much, really, but when I do I try t aim for the classics, you know. Sparknotes helps a ton with Joyce, and is pretty clear and straightforward. I do use other sources too--reviews, wikipedia, essays, I go to the library and find books about the author or the book in question, and I read those. Basically I try to look at the book from every angle, try to grok it the best I can, eliminate false understandings and reinforce others. But all this sounds like I read a lot, which I really don't. I should get back in that habit.
belgand+0-0
The correct answer is that we need to form a book club so we can then sit around and discuss these things ourselves.
Actually what I've wanted to do for a while is form a music club. Meet up, sit around and listen to a album, and then discuss it. But I mainly just need friends who have an interest in music.
sje46+0-0
Yeah, those music-loving friends are hard to find. . . .
emosexy+0-0
Perhaps you mean you need to find friends who like similar genres in music. Unless you're actually trying to say you have no friends.
belgand+0-0
Really a mixture of both. My girlfriend, for example, has never purchased music in her life. Not because she steals it, but because she never listens to it.
Knowing people with more than the vaguest of interest in music has never really been a thing for me.
fineoakstructure+0-0
The Penguin Classic paperback copies I have of Dante have annotations at the end of each canto. The research is a little more scholarly, though still concise. It is pointless to read these works without these kind of references.
A friend of a friend of mine worked for Spark Notes (aka Barnes & Noble) for a while. A smart person, but not exactly an established scholar or anything. Maybe that's right for high school kids, I don't know, but yeah, I'm tempted to agree with tripleg.
hedonismbot+1-0
Pshhh, real men read Finnegans Wake without notes, in the original Gaelic, while punching themselves in the ear.
potatoes9000+0-0
Seconded.
un_malpaso+0-0
I look at it in a Darwinian/Adam Smith way. If the human "teacher" can't do a better job of explaining the novel/play/whatever, then why not let the student use the Cliffs Notes, which have demonstrably given him a clear, concise summary? Obviously the Cliffs Notes are doing a better job than the professor! Survival of the Fittest, everyone!
skoora+0-0
PAT DID YOU FORGET THAT VLAD IS A ROBOT?! LOGIC AND ANALYSIS IS HIS BREAD AND BUTTER!
everything+0-0
if he's a robot... is bread and butter really an appropriate metaphore? ^_-
steev_dayv+0-0
I am not needink bread and butter. Is a status thing.
kendieatsbabies+1-0
Ok. Logic and analysis are like his right and left arms.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
like Li'l Spicey once said in his "Logic And Analysis Are Like My Right And Left Arms" speech.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
what in hell is Pat, such a word-style hero, doing using 'good' to describe how Rod is when everybody knows he should be saying that Rod is 'well'?!
everything+0-0
he might be code-switching or he might actually be so self-absorbed as to mean that Rod is good.. in bed or something like that, as opposed to saying that Rod is well...? or maybe and more likely it's one of those situations where you go along with a grammatic error of someone because it's easier than correcting the person and as a bonus you get to hate the person for being grammatically stupid.
theguitarhero+0-0
I feel like he (Pat( was doing it more to insult him (Vlad) but it didn't work because Vlad is a robot.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Important fashion tip from Vlad: wear tie loose with classy demeanor, makes you uninsultable like Superman.
elzilcho+1-0
Both are fine in all technicality. Using "well" when you could say "good" is like saying "whom" at the proper time, or busting out a semicolon on the internet; you can do it, but you get weird looks.
Which, I'll concede, still makes me wonder why Pat didn't say "well".
howl+0-0
*looks at you weirdly*
sje46+0-0
*licks leg*
theguitarhero+1-0
0_o
vheissu+0-0
The way I see it, Pat was just in a hurry to get to talking about himself and his puzzles, and he dropped his grammar guard to talk like most people. Is this because he is a self-absorbed asshole? Yes it is.
implode+0-0
I'd say it was a Freudian slip from Pat's side, and a straightforward question from Vlad's side of whether or not Rod has been a Gaylord in bed to Pat lately.
3+0-0
there are some things that some people will never be good at communicating about in a chat room
theguitarhero+0-0
like love.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
or saying one thing but meaning another but nobody ever picks up on it so it gets kinda awwwkwaaaaard~??
gladi8orrex+2-0 THIS JUS N. K8-E PEARY IS SO TALENT
P.S. I hear girls r magical wiff soft skin, kissable lipz extc. i m wonderin'. How's do i "woman"? any tipz wuld b apreci8ed cuz like, man, I am gettink NOWHERE . lol i cannit get hows theys work. :/
:P
i_love_kate+0-0
Doomed to be lamed hard by Heccibiggs.
theguitarhero+0-0
Loneal too.
sje46+0-0
Try telling them that you never kissed one before and make a pouty face and then they'll kiss you and be yours forever!
gladi8orrex+4-0
u bitch lol ur advice jus fucked up my chances with dis 1 girl so bad . i m still loln mang. bitch was livid
lol
cpnglxynchos+0-0
maybe you should have only tried to tell her instead of really telling her.
autrepoupee+0-0 *alarms go off, it is dusk*
WOO WOO IT IS A NERD PARTY HERE IN ASSETBAR WOO WOO EVERYONE MAKE UP YOUR OWN PUZZLES WOO WOO *alarms continue to ring long into the night*
theguitarhero+0-0
Ah HELLZ yeah we doing this! About to get our NERD ON up in here!!
tripleg+1-0
a nerd is totally rocking my brain right now
theguitarhero+0-0 I never thought it'd be like this
i_love_kate+0-0
I made salsa!
theguitarhero+0-0 Is it coconut salsa, Fredrick you know we only eat foods with coconut in it dammit Fredrick what did you do.
sje46+0-0
I thought he only eats pineapple I mean I would have figured a Floridian woulda been able to tell his coconuts from his pineapples.
gladi8orrex+1-0
what's a derogatory word for jew other than well-poisoner? I am being serious
woodenteeth+4-0
4th Wall Alarum! 4th Wall Alarum!
sje46+0-0
wuts an derogitor werd fo ju not wel-poshuner lol. i is being ceriyus for rellz lol
gladi8orrex+1-0
you spell e-Trociously, dogg. Should get tudor.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
you mean nutor dogg.
sje46+0-0
Man, you remind me of my Latin homework . . ..
theguitarhero+0-0
It was supposed to be a riff on the nerd/gay analogy, the whole thing about coconut rum.
tessebatt+0-0
Man, I just love it when the characters insult each other in super-creative ways! FIVE OUTTA FIVE, CHRIS.
talbain+0-0
1. Ass Hole
2. Hole Punch
3. Punch Me
4. Me First
5. First Class
6. Class Action
7. Action Figure
What do I win?
jeffspaulding+7-0
the distinction of being the last one to figure it out.
jeffspaulding+0-0
Vlad needs an upgrade -- Tractor feed is so 80's.
belgand+0-0
Tractor feed has always sounded to me like something you'd find down at the Co-op. Not the hippie worker-owned all-organic, all-vegetarian co-op either... the other kind filled with dirty people in overalls.
theguitarhero+2-0
That's still the hippie one.
belgand+0-0
My phrasing was poor then, I meant the kind with other dirty people in overalls. The comparison was intended.
jeffspaulding+0-0 Quote:
We have gently re-opened our shop!
Quote:
We are now using a professional third-party fulfillment center.
And another Stanford Religious Studies grad hits the pavement.
aaron_haynes+0-0
I never received my pint glass ordered through the old store on Dec. 30 2008, despite multiple e-mails to orders and to Chris.
Buyer beware.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
I never received my sweatshirt ordered on December 31st either.
I'm hoping there's still a chance?
aaron_haynes+0-0
Me too, and I'd be willing to wait, but I want to hear something about it, not just getting ignored like I have been for the past month.
Keep sending e-mails, I guess, that's what I'm doing. Good luck.
sje46+0-0
Friend Onstad on Facebook and ask him on his wall.
aaron_haynes+4-0
This could quickly turn into a road comedy where TheGoodwillGirl and I try increasingly elaborate methods of getting his attention, like learning to skywrite "where's my money Onstad", only a flock of geese flies through the letters just before he looks up, foiling our plan.
tripleg+3-0
and it just says " here's my moOn"
aaron_haynes+1-0
And he sees it and thinks, "Skywriting that makes people stop and wonder. Philippe wants to share basic ideas and advice to people by writing it in the clouds. Ray bankrolls him."
And the great ship of Achewood sails on, but I am still without my pint glass.
raticus+3-0
here's my
sje46+1-0
Don't forget your quirky friend who loves boozin', sexin', and rock and rollin'. It wouldn't be a roadtrip without him!
(this friend is me).
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Yeah, I sent an email, too. To no avail.
This is scary, aaron_haynes. But we're in it together now.
aaron_haynes+0-0
I went looking for an image from Batman Begins with Batman saying "now we're two" to Lt. Gordon, and instead of that, I found a Gordon/Batman slash community on livejournal. Oh, internet.
Lemme know if you hear anything. I will do the same.
fineoakstructure+1-0
I had an order like that a few years ago it drove me off my fucking bat have you tried laming him
aaron_haynes+0-0
I don't want to lame Onstad.
Well, more accurately, I don't want to have to lame Onstad. I want this to be a better universe than that.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
UPDATE: The conversation we had got me thinking about ways I might remedy this situation. So I sent an order status request to the new shop, and they replied swiftly and awesomely! They said that although the order was placed before they were running the show, they would still be more than happy to investigate my order and do everything in their power to resolve the issue.
So do that! They were super nice.
aaron_haynes+0-0
I've since done this, but not gotten a response :(
fineoakstructure+0-0
LAME THAT MONUMENTAL PRICK AND FEEL THE POWER of the DARK SIDE
un_malpaso+2-0
Attention all:
Here-in is my vote list for VOICE CASTING in the unlikely event of an Achewood animated cartoon feature.
Note: this post was hardly "dashed off." I have been engaged in HEAVY thinking about this for several hours at least.
I eagerly await your cleansing stream of lames and hate.
Roast Beef: Michael Cera
Ray: Tracy Morgan
Teodor: Jim Parsons
Cornelius Bear: Anthony Hopkins
Philippe: Wesley Singerman
Lyle: Johnny Knoxville
Molly: Ruth Jones
Pat: Trey Parker
Lie Bot: Steve Martin
Vlad: Frank Welker
Little Nephew: Spencer Fox
Todd: Russi Taylor
Nice Pete: Willem Dafoe
Showbiz: David Spade
Chucklebot: Steven Hawking
invidious+0-0
Lyle: John DiMaggio
Jim Parsons is a nice choice, but I think he'd be ever better as PAT than Teodor.
Lie Bot, for some reason, I've always imagined as having a "happy" voice. I hear Tom Arnold when Lie Bot speaks.
i_love_kate+0-0
Anthony Hopkins? Are you some kind of crazed fool?
octafish+0-0
Indeed. If you got Tony for Cornelius who would you get for Molly's dad? Gotta be welsh. If he didn't bring so much baggage with him I'd say Kelsey Grammer would be a shoe-in for Cornelius. Remember he is an american raised aglophile not a real Brit.
theguitarhero+0-0
This is just horrible, it's a horrible list.
John Cusack would definitely be Roast Beef, NOT Michael Cera (although Cera could probably work as Little Nephew) and Johnny Knoxville as Lyle? YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
It's stupid to cast try and cast an Achewood feature because we are just gonna cast famous people we would WANT to play the role, and not necessarily people who are QUALIFIED to play the role.
sje46+0-0
I want to play Lyle!
sje46+1-0
Roast Beef: octafish--no clue why
Ray: flaseprophet--because I'm racist
Teodor: i_love_kate
Cornelius Bear: Achileselbow . . if he comes back . ..
Philippe: Myself, probably . ..
Lyle: zapatos
Molly: thegoodwillgirl
Pat: belgand
Lie Bot: scorpionadir
Vlad: belgand
Little Nephew: gladdi8orrex
Todd: theguitarhero
Nice Pete: hedonismbot
Showbiz: I don't know .. .stereo
Chucklebot: redphillip
theguitarhero+0-0
F-f-fuck man, why d-d-do I gotta play Todd?
cpnglxynchos+0-0
*glum*
no cast for me.
catgrl131+0-0
That's okay, we'll make our own movie! and it'll be sooo much cooler, right?
sje46+0-0
Listen, I still love you guys and think you have loads of talent . ..but you're just not right for this movie. Pleasxe don't be upset; I'll put in a good word for you, alright? Hey, IU heard they need some extras for Scary Movie 5.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
don't make me send Robert Duvall out to your horse stalls.
un_malpaso+0-0
Ol' Bobby is pretty quick and stealthy with that bone saw!
cpnglxynchos+0-0
just ask...
Mr. Woltz!
granularsilica+0-0
Not THAT kind of movie, I hope!
octafish+0-0 Quote:
Roast Beef: octafish--no clue why
Why, that is the best reason ever.
cpnglxynchos+1-0
i mean uh, yeah thank you for choosing me that is just the dickens.
scorpio_nadir+1-0
Philippe, Liam Neeson just called.
He wanted to convey his added sadness that Natasha Richardson's last wish was she wanted to be cast as Polly by you. And wasn't.
sje46+0-0
then she can be Polly. Anyone want to be Darlene?
cpnglxynchos+0-0
we don't have any ladies that could fulfill such a role...
stereo+0-0
aiu is an old female, I'm sure of it
emosexy+0-0
Although I'm not an old female, I can definitely bring the white trash, slut-of-the-trailer-park vibe. Not that I am one.
belgand+0-0
Fuck you.
fermatprime+0-0
You are not wantink to be Vlad? Are not lookink forward to day when you can pick woman like rarest flower, petal from petal, until she is so nude?
scorpio_nadir+0-0
He has been double-cast as Pat also, but not for double salary, which is against union regs. Belgand will be in his trailer.
Okay, so since no one's volunteering to be Pat, I vote for Pogo.
sje46+0-0
Oops, I put you twice.
You're supposed to be Pat, not Vlad.
I need someone good for Vlad . . .
fineoakstructure+0-0
Hey BELGAND! You're acting like this is the first time someone has thought of you as Pat!
How come?
How come?
fineoakstructure+0-0
(how come?)
theguitarhero+0-0
Correct. I wanna come.
sje46+0-0
(by looking at pictures of a prepubescent Lindsay Lohan)
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
I am flattered. Also, most of these are pretty awesome.
I think tekende and/or cpnglxynchos would have been good alternatives for the role of Teodor, but i_love_kate is also a nice choice.
As for belgand being Pat, I don't see it. Pat's on the level of douchiness that AIU has brought to the table, don't you think?
Lastly, I wonder if you made stereo play Showbiz on purpose, or if the Rockfort Fosgate connection was coincidental.
As for the rest, A , would read again.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
A PLUS PLUS. This is my first plus sign situation, and I'm not sure if I can handle it.
scorpio_nadir+1-0
What are you burbling blithely about that none of the rest of us can see, Orson?
Pat == Asherdan. is so obv.
sje46+0-0
Asherdan isn't enough of a regular poster.
cpnglxynchos+0-0
anymore, that is.
hedonismbot+0-0
Excellent. I was thinking about how to fill that role too. Someone who isn't an idiot, but is(was) a complete douche about it.
I am honored to be Nice Pete. I lack the rage, but I will do my best. I would be happy to switch with you for Lie Bot. There is little in this world that makes me happier than lying to children in tragic ways.
cpnglxynchos+2-0
Hedobot, what is the saddest thing?
A child found in a pond still clutching a drawing of their parents' car backed into the neighbor's house.
And when the police walk across the skidmarked driveway, neither parent is capable to speak to them.
i shouldn't post this.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Okay. You'd be my 1st choice for Liebot. I've seen enough variations of Pete it wouldn't be a stretch.
Although I think daidai was secretly casting spells hoping he would be cast as Pete.
daidai+0-0
you will have nothing but regret and bleeding
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Yes, my son, that is how we made you, and now I'm tired.
Go forth and be the new Dread Pirate Nice Pete.
i_love_kate+0-0
I am flattered and bewildered!
sje46+0-0
Yes, the reaction I expected.
granularsilica+0-0
So, it's an animated feature, right? And you're casting people whose voices we have never heard? What kind of sense does this make?
un_malpaso+1-0
Yeah... truthfully, we all HEAR in our heads how the voices should be... all I know is that I know EXACTLY how Todd should sound, and I believe everyone would agree.. Mickey Mouse on a stuttery coke binge
stereo+0-0
I hope I'm not the only person in the world, who upon reading something, sees it rather than hears it.
When I hear things I turn them into images of letters in my head.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
I'm the same way with hearing things. When I hear names for the first time especially. I picture the name in my head and find it much easier to remember that way.
theguitarhero+3-0 This is a name. I know this name.
randyleepublic+0-0
No. Steve Martin is perfect. He would bring a new dimension to Liebot. No one else could develop Liebot as well.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
Hey, randylee. I just got back from Maui last week and got Jimi Hendrix's autograph for you.
He hangs out in a hut on the beach and plays Slack-key on a custom 18-string Martin Dreadnought.
tripleg+1-0
here's mine:
Roast Beef: James Callis
Ray: David Boreanaz
Teodor: T.J. Thyne
Cornelius Bear: David McCallum
Philippe: Emily Deschanel
Lyle: Robert Sean Leonard
Molly: Tricia Helfer
Pat: M.C. Chris
Lie Bot: Sean Murray
Vlad: Omar Epps
Little Nephew: Michael Weatherly
Todd: Dana Snyder
Nice Pete: Kris Kristofferson
Showbiz: Jesse Spencer
Chucklebot: Leon Rippy
un_malpaso+0-0
Good call on Dana Snyder and Kris Kristofferson
invidious+0-0
HOLY SHIT, David McCallum is PERFECT for Cornelius. Why didn't I think of that?
I also think I just had a brainstorm:
Ray: Neil Patrick Harris
theguitarhero+0-0
No. PAT for Neil Patrick Harris. It works way better, not just because of the gay thing but because I picture Pat with a higher voice than Ray.
i_love_kate+0-0
Omar Epps? Foreman from House? What?
rowboat+0-0
I'm sorry, but this list is an elaborate joke, right?
tripleg+0-0
except for david mccullum, yes. david mccullum is how cornelius sounds in my head.
rowboat+0-0
Good. I didn't want to be mean. Not familiar with McCallum. Looking over his body of work I see that he has starred in every single television show which I've never watched. I'll take your word that he'd be fine, but I gotta stick with Michael Gambon. It's permanent. Connie will never sound like anyone else in my head.
tripleg+0-0
yeah, daytime television reruns, imdb, and a too-subtle sense of humor...
desert_donkey+0-0
the answer to Vlad's #2 question:
BUNGHOLE BORER
tommythebrat+1-0
My mum just looked over my shoulder and said "Aw a cartoon pussy cat on the screen, aren't you a bit old
to be reading that?"
Some people just don't understand!
theguitarhero+1-0
Parents just don't understand!
cunty+2-0
HOW I COULD JUST KILL A MAN
stereo+0-0
Put a gun up to his head, pull your trigger, now he's dead.
octafish+0-0
Mama? Life had just begun?
theguitarhero+0-0
And now I've gone and thrown it all away!
theguitarhero+0-0
For a Queen Reference.
echidnaboy+1-0
woodenteeth+0-0
I remember seeing that and thinking "holy shit what is wrong with Mike Myers, it looks like he's shaking out some constipation".
Seriously, get the movie just so you can see Mike Myers perform the lamest head banging ever.
jeffspaulding+0-0
Mike Myers is the Michelangelo of Lame.
stereo+0-0
The problem is some people don't realize he's just acting lame, and then they think he is lame. Which is too bad, because he's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the medium itself.
Hey Jeff Stereo whacks JeffSpaulding in the face with an axe Try getting an appointment at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!
stereo+0-0
Sorry, I got carried away.
tekende+0-0
Well done, that.
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Show her Ray getting his can rocked, and maybe that will show her what it is that you are into.
Not that you are into getting your can rocked, but that you are into cats who get their cans rocked.
sje46+0-0
This is a lie, because no one who sees an Achewood strip for the first time thinks they are cats. I thought they were all bulldogs for a while.
fineoakstructure+6-0
some people are smart though
theguitarhero+0-0
ZING! POW! YAHTZEEE!!!
ohdangit+0-0
Sometimes the simplest burns are the most painful. Chubby for the Zen insult.
sje46+0-0
*is not particularly insulter*
No one else thought that?
rowboat+0-0
I got your back little buddy. Ray still looks like a dog to me. Always has, always will.
fineoakstructure+0-0
Rowboat is the Skipper to sje's Gilligan; that works pretty well.
I was just joking on sje, of course, but I'm pretty damn sure I knew they were cats from the get go. I guess I can see that they're drawn vaguely enough to be hard to tell at first, but still, they somehow look more like cats than dogs, even Ray...so, if I was unsure, I would've defaulted to cats.
rowboat+0-0
Whenever my co-worker walks behind me while I'm reading a Ray strip he always says, "Is that that bear cartoon?" I usually respond with incredulity, but secretly I can't fault him for thinking that.
rowboat+0-0
Also, will you be the Mary Ann to my Professor, fineoak?
theguitarhero+0-0
I'd like to Gilligan HER skipper, amirite?
belgand+0-0
I am thinking that you do not understand the mechanics of heterosexual sex.
sje46+0-0
Would this imply that he is homosexual?
theguitarhero+0-0
I understand the mechanics of heterosexual sex, bub.
Just ask your mom.
rowboat+0-0
Only if I can Laverne your Shirley, tiger.
octafish+0-0
This back to basic straight forward basketball isn't working, you're going to have to use your razzle dazzle.
tekende+1-0
Y'all some jive suckers.
fineoakstructure+2-0
The Razzle Dazzle, aka theirateturk's ex-girlfriend.
i_love_kate+0-0
OH.
tripleoptics+0-0
i wish it would let me chubby twice
sje46+0-0
CHfan?
wellingtonbear+0-0
chuck norris fights crime
while he drinks ice cold Pearl beer
I will have his child
granularsilica+0-0
My icon is older and more poetic than yours.
saulbellow+2-0
Hurry, Mr. Stad! She can't hold much longer!
randyleepublic+0-0
Word up: Onstad on road - fans jonesing.
sex_machine+0-0
Comment left by sex_machine ignored.
octafish+0-0
Yeah because research professors are responsible for the "system". I mean geneticists have totally caused the world economic crisis. Obviously.
Moron.
tekende+0-0
Great, I was looking for someone to feed to my ignore list. It was getting hungry.
rowboat+0-0
Whoa. He must be on auto-ignore. I never even got a chance.
halfdirt+0-0
Three last week.. zero this week. That's weird, and you can call me an ingrateful person. The last three strips were very nice, but I don't know now if I can ever love again.
raticus+0-0
Bored? Looking for something to do while waiting for the updates?
sex-machine+0-0
Comment left by sex-machine ignored.
i_love_kate+0-0
Hehe... right, right...
raticus+0-0
*nod nod*
Do go on...
thegoodwillgirl+0-0
Catholics!
theguitarhero+0-0
Mexicans!
octafish+0-0
Indians!
stereo+0-0
Native Americans!
theguitarhero+0-0
Aborigines!
i_love_kate+1-0
Oh my!
nice-on-water+0-0 ...Amerindians?
neonfreon+3-1
remember when onstad posted strips more often than excuses? those were the good old days.
halfdirt+0-0
How! Dare! You! How Dare You.
nice-on-water+0-0
Ah back off him, he's right.
fineoakstructure+0-0
neonfreon! He still cares enough to hate, folks.
theguitarhero+4-0
Whenever the inevitable backfill comes up on Assetbar, I hope Chris doesn't decide to just dump it all on us at once.
You've finally afforded yourself a chance to get on to some sort of posting schedule, just put up one of these pre-made strips today, one Monday, one Wednesday and so on until you are out! IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
theguitarhero+0-0
Especially since you are doing that gallery showing the 11th with Ryan North and Chris Hastings!
stereo+0-0
Whoa... it's like DOUBLE CHRIS TROUBLE
octafish+0-0
Listen to this man Chris. He knows things.
fattybeaver+0-0
But you'd still be getting the same amount of content it would only take longer... You could always ration it out yourself and not read it all at once if its that big of a deal.
I know this isnt a good comment and doesnt help or add anything but I just like to see my avatar occasionally when I'm scrolling through the comments.
theguitarhero+0-0
I don't think you are getting it. I know it's the same amount of content, the point is that, instead of dumping it on us all at once and forcing us to wait for the next fix, he could give it out to us one at a time in order to keep us coming back.
fattybeaver+0-0
I think we've proven he doesnt have to post new stuff to keep us coming back
sje46+0-0
heh. He has a point . . ..
*eyes transfixed*
theguitarhero+0-0
I was trying to compare it to a junkie but I guess that didn't work.
sax_machine+0-0
Comment left by sax_machine ignored.
somedarkholler+0-0
When are you going to realize everyone just thinks you're dumb?
sax_machine+0-0
Comment left by sax_machine ignored.
scorpio_nadir+0-0
T...Ted Kaczynski? You've got Internet now?
tripleoptics+0-0
Doubtful that Onstad will read this, but I just discovered exactly where it is you're moving to. Portland, Oregon huh? I think that's a great call. I lived there for almost four years and it's still my favorite city. You're moving at a good time too. You'll hit the 3 months of good weather perfectly :)
nice-on-water+0-0
Pat's insistence that only he can make something that marvelous really gets me mad. JOB WELL DONE PAT OR SHOULD I SAY ONSTAD I GUESS I SHOULD SAY ONSTAD
puguglypress+0-0
You know what's the best thing about Vlad/Pat interactions? Pat never wins.
atticusonline+0-0
I found that I've only started reading assetbar comments with pictures. Too much douchebaggery around. bugger.
stuntman+0-0
I think this game would really catch on in Wisconsin.
Vlad's so smart he vomits word puzzles.
but what is dripping from it
Paper "dots" from the "pin feed" paper in his mouth, along with nicotine residue from his trachea.
Smoke comes in, insults come out. Much like Don Rickles.
the smoldering of his cigarette in the try below.
think about it.
and by try i mean tray.
as in, 'ashtray.'
Nice 'tr'y
Comment left by oldfemale ignored.
...That you, desert_donkey?
no. that was way too literate (at least the 3 sentences i read).
let me dispel any myths, i have just the one username. it's pretty easy to read peeps IP addr, ftr.
. .. teach me how, please?
Pretty please?
I'll give you a chubby.
looks like it doesn't work on this site.
just R-click and select "View Source". on every other site it brings up a Notepad doc with text in some sorta html format.
No . No IP addresses in the HTML code.
That Fizzgig is a great best avatar to go NOOOOOOO or FFFFUUUUU or whatever with.
... wow, imageshack's default forum-formatted link sucks.
Direct
ummmmmm
you are some kind of fucking idiot because there is no IP in that code.
That's true. That doesn't work on regular forums either.
You can find someone's IP from wikipedia sometimse, though.
Apparently it is alreadyinuse.
....
there's an awful lot of sand in oldfemale's vagina...
HEYO
Sand? Did someone page me?
Your comments make no sense. How is a fuck orgy "cliquish"?. The point of assetbar is (or has become) witty banter and observations about the strip. I feel that it accomplishes that objective to a reasonable degree. To be honest you sound like some under-educated anti-intellectual who despises people who use complicated words like "Trachea" and "Don Rickles". I hope I didn't make any obscure references that make me seem like a fractious hipster-doofus.
Oh shit.
Damn. That was posted in haste without proper editing.
My point still stands however.
Witty banter? That's what she said! Lol. I mean, onyxly.
^ post #1 that actually sucks
Features:
Hijacks highest possible thread to increase visibility
Obscenely long
Nobody gives a shit
*ding ding ding* WINNAH WINNAH
Please frame your critique in the proper haiku derogatory format, young man.
Incomplete
Excessively long
Hijacking the premier thread
Go fuck yourself, douche
Alreadyinuse speaks
Everyone gets pissed off at him
Please hit ignore now.
6-8-5!?
Oh dear.
he was not Paying Attention.
Nuh uh?! Fuck I always sucked with syllables.
Much better. I was thinking something like:
the fool on a hill,
preaching to no one, he sees
the world spinning round
Didn't we do this
"Making a haiku" thingy
Like a week ago?
Yes.
Double points for making it a haiku the last line of which is "Correct. I wanna cum." Which I think was done already.
Actually, triple points, since I realized directly after posting it that that has six syllables.
Who are you talking to?
Okay, good, that's the first line.
Who are you talking to is seven syllables.
or something like that.
Sat on a pylon
Anus tore and bust my core
Wrecked. I wanna cum.
Ah, true Haiku-ness. Expression of a moment. Do many run that dark though? I imagine there would be a ton about wars, etc...
The bombs are flying.
Death, destruction, everywhere.
We will never learn.
*giggle.*
Ah, true Haiku-ness.
Expression of a moment.
Darker than most, though.
I hear children cry
Dad was much too young to die
Bullet 'tween the eyes
FUCK, it's six again.
why can I not count to five tonight.
I had heard shitty
Or so I thought but alas
this is such garbage
Dear Oldfemale:
Thank you for your trenchant insight as to what makes good commentary on the ol' Assetbar. While I'm slightly perturbed that one of my posts got singled out as a general example of what an awful comment looks like, I would like to ask, what was wrong with my comment?
saulbellow asked what those black flecks were, and I answered with what I thought it was: the paper dots left from form-fed paper. I could have stopped there, but I decided to indulge my inner Shecky Greene and add a few lines about nicotine and Don Rickles. Would such a joke garnered such attention father down? Probably not; but circumstances and luck sometimes matter just as much as content.
As to the second quote, fancypants inserted a funny picture of a word jumble, which I felt worked in context of what we know the relationship between Liebot and Philippe.
I suppose this leads to a huge divorce between what you consider "proper" commenting on the strip, the whole strip, and nothing but the strip; and the other interactions we have with each other on this site, which sometimes, but not always, leads back to the matter at hand.
Sometimes I get annoyed by the sometimes rampant asshattery that passes for a conversation on the board. But then I remember that I am guilty of using the same trite cliches and general arguement making, so can I be mad at myself, or do I take it with a grain of salt?
In terms of my own comments: I think my record speaks for itself. I comment fairly rarely, and if my "comment to chubby" and "chubby to lame" ratios means anything, it's that people have tended to like what I say when I get around to saying it. I'm not in a league with some of the other commenters, but I like to think I pull my own weight. I also occasionally throw in pictures of my own devising in a category that has been politely termed "hastily photoshopped buggery"...or something to that effect.
I think occasional digressions add value to what we're discussing, I think it shows us all that we're not 2D boxes of text and grainy photos on a page, and some of the riffing we've made on the strips and each other's comments over the years have rated up there with our own little Algonquin Round Table.
In conclusion, I'm not going to tell you to get stuffed, or hand you a lame, but I'd like to know exactly what you've offered to the community here today more than your own digression from the strip?
PS: Answer me, sirrah, or your journey from this mortal coil shall be hastened by the hand of Dixie!
...I'm sorry. Not appropos?
When you're being possessive, it's "its", not "it's".
Scalawag.
He is usink tar & nicotine for toner in mini robo-laser-printer in jaw.
don't think about it.
i thought about it against your wishes.
VIVA LA REVOLUCION
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
WE ROCKIN' OUT NOW BITCHES!!
meh.
I thought about it. It's a two-tone printing process.
Tar = black (letters)
Nicotine = the lighter background box
Pro:
- he never needs to buy toner
- Pat's hands are all nasty now and he'll freak out once Vlad tells him
Con: ???
That BWLEEP sounds very much like what would happen if a machine tried to beep while regurgitating something.
"Ticket 189754: PC will not POST. Goes BWLEEP and powers off. Send tech"
What's freaking me out is that he both *yawns* and instantaneously comes up with word puzzles. I think we've been had, Vlad is a Robocop's illegitimate son.
Ah, paper dots. How I loved to make it snow next to the family hole punch. Such childish glee. You might say it's a holesome memory. But that would make you a prick.
Last time I got a hole punch, I couldn't walk straight for a week.
vitriol
He cold has a word puzzle in his mouth.
Also they have Lotto Tickets attached!
and coupons on the back
i think a real smart person would vomit philosophy and shit word puzzles. think about it.
HURK HURK BLAGH *splat* "As Kierkegaard once said . . ."
versus
PFFFFT FURTTTTT BLOP
"Ah sweet! Madlibs!"
*hiccup*
Whoa!
I think he TALKS word puzzles. I base this solely on the fact that he seems to be gesticulating while printing.