slab64
+7 -0
Teodor is right - it IS hard to care about tree pain.
Teodor is right - it IS hard to care about tree pain.
spinynorman
+13 -0
That's become one of my favorite stock responses. "Yes, but in a way that's hard to care about."
Alternate version: "No."
That's become one of my favorite stock responses. "Yes, but in a way that's hard to care about."
Alternate version: "No."
awko
+14 -0
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
-Jack Handey
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
-Jack Handey
soticoto
+0 -0
Trees do scream. They scream in chemicals rather than sounds. You can SMELL tree-pain in the air when they're hurt.
Fact.
Trees do scream. They scream in chemicals rather than sounds. You can SMELL tree-pain in the air when they're hurt.
Fact.
geysershitdick
+29 -0
High five a mortician this week.
High five a mortician this week.
hipjiverobot
+1 -1
Won't somebody please think of the morticians?
Seriously, does anyone plan to be a mortician, or does it just sort of happen?
Won't somebody please think of the morticians?
Seriously, does anyone plan to be a mortician, or does it just sort of happen?
anitrophaeron
+55 -0
During my "I want to be a doctor" phase, I was leaning heavily toward mortician just because the damage is done. They're not gonna get any more dead no matter what you do.
During my "I want to be a doctor" phase, I was leaning heavily toward mortician just because the damage is done. They're not gonna get any more dead no matter what you do.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that is a great way to think about it.
that is a great way to think about it.
slab64
+0 -1
Chubbied, for profundity.
Chubbied, for profundity.
lugosh
+2 -1
But what if you accidentally make them into a zombie?
But what if you accidentally make them into a zombie?
ravindra108
+5 -0
Just keep the Worcestershire Sauce safely stowed in the kitchen.
It's not pinkeye!
Just keep the Worcestershire Sauce safely stowed in the kitchen.
It's not pinkeye!
biznart
+4 -0
There have been a lot of incredible advances in topical cream in the past few years.
There have been a lot of incredible advances in topical cream in the past few years.
terriblerobot
+2 -0
SCREW YOU, ZOMBIE! FUCK YOU! has shown a lot of promise in recent clinical trials.
SCREW YOU, ZOMBIE! FUCK YOU! has shown a lot of promise in recent clinical trials.
i_love_kate
+0 -1
Looks like another snake bite.
Looks like another snake bite.
jackparsons
+0 -1
Read and watch "The Loved One". Evelyn Waugh/on DVD.
Read and watch "The Loved One". Evelyn Waugh/on DVD.
ford
+3 -0
it strikes me as one of those job that are reserved for people twisted a certain way-like proctologists and male gynecologists (Seriously, what dude wants to see it when it's sick?)
it strikes me as one of those job that are reserved for people twisted a certain way-like proctologists and male gynecologists (Seriously, what dude wants to see it when it's sick?)
jocelynthepink
+0 -0
Well, most gynecologists are OB-GYNs and get to deliver babies, so I wouldn't say it's a perverted thing. I also like to think that many proctologists or gynecologists either had a parent in the same profession or a relative who died of a related disease (e.g. prostate cancer or cervical cancer). But I've clearly thought way too much about it.
Well, most gynecologists are OB-GYNs and get to deliver babies, so I wouldn't say it's a perverted thing. I also like to think that many proctologists or gynecologists either had a parent in the same profession or a relative who died of a related disease (e.g. prostate cancer or cervical cancer). But I've clearly thought way too much about it.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm guessing that the thinking in question as when you were being examined by your male obstetrician.
I'm guessing that the thinking in question as when you were being examined by your male obstetrician.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
[i[]Was[/i] when. Sigh.
[i[]Was[/i] when. Sigh.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Oh...
Oh...
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
I used to have a male OBGYN who was a college buddy of my boyfriend. I asked him once "Why are you an OBGYN?" and he said "I love pussy".
So there ya go.
I used to have a male OBGYN who was a college buddy of my boyfriend. I asked him once "Why are you an OBGYN?" and he said "I love pussy".
So there ya go.
hateandwar
+0 -0
So was this during an examination?
So was this during an examination?
sharktastic
+0 -0
That lends support to my theory that male gynocologists are just in it to look at girls' boobs and vajayjays.
That lends support to my theory that male gynocologists are just in it to look at girls' boobs and vajayjays.
soticoto
+0 -0
Is it ok if I high five a police sniper while he is aiming?
Is it ok if I high five a police sniper while he is aiming?
cuddlepaw
+11 -2
Did Philippe write Blue Whale because he is uncomfortable writing "Sperm"?
Did Philippe write Blue Whale because he is uncomfortable writing "Sperm"?
ggvaidya
+0 -0
Perhaps! Although it does say "sperm whale" on the illustration itself ...
Perhaps! Although it does say "sperm whale" on the illustration itself ...
falseprophet
+5 -0
I think he's worried about what Cornelius would say.
I think he's worried about what Cornelius would say.
heccibiggs
+1 -0
OH MAN THAT'S SO CRAZY I'm clicking the random link, and that was the last one that came up before this one, and then you're all referencing it here...
Well I thought it was cool.
OH MAN THAT'S SO CRAZY I'm clicking the random link, and that was the last one that came up before this one, and then you're all referencing it here...
Well I thought it was cool.
pogo
+1 -0
He obviously doesn't know the blue is a krill sucker.
He obviously doesn't know the blue is a krill sucker.
epicurus
+2 -2
Teodor's analysis of tree pain is well-put. I used to be obssessed with Giant squid when I was a kid; the squid could totally win sometimes!
Teodor's analysis of tree pain is well-put. I used to be obssessed with Giant squid when I was a kid; the squid could totally win sometimes!
neonaoneo
+3 -0
The squid never wins...
The squid never wins...
epicurus
+4 -2
Come say that to my face, I dare you! FUCK YOU, MIKE!
Come say that to my face, I dare you! FUCK YOU, MIKE!
neonaoneo
+7 -1
DUDE IT'S JUST SCIENCE KAY IF THE SQUID WON IT WOULD TOTALLY BE UN-SCIENCE. Like...NEGA Science.
DUDE IT'S JUST SCIENCE KAY IF THE SQUID WON IT WOULD TOTALLY BE UN-SCIENCE. Like...NEGA Science.
epicurus
+7 -1
SON YOU WANNA STEP OFF YOU BETTER LEARN TO SWIM IN A HURRY BWAH I FOLD YOUR ASS UP LIKE A OL' WALLET
SON YOU WANNA STEP OFF YOU BETTER LEARN TO SWIM IN A HURRY BWAH I FOLD YOUR ASS UP LIKE A OL' WALLET
nigelchaos
+1 -1
Epicurus and Neonaoneo - thank you for proving ONCE again how *great* the internet is! :-D
Epicurus and Neonaoneo - thank you for proving ONCE again how *great* the internet is! :-D
epicurus
+3 -1
Actually reading this again warms my shrivelled heart. Is it really bad when both people involved are writing sarcasically?
Actually reading this again warms my shrivelled heart. Is it really bad when both people involved are writing sarcasically?
neonaoneo
+3 -2
Babycakes you know it alright
Babycakes you know it alright
epicurus
+4 -1
And now we have make-up sex on the internet for all to see, as God intended when he invented ironic flaming.
And now we have make-up sex on the internet for all to see, as God intended when he invented ironic flaming.
pogo
+0 -0
XD
XD
nigelchaos
+0 -0
don't worry.. I think we ALL saw the flaming.. .... I'm sorry. hahah.
don't worry.. I think we ALL saw the flaming.. .... I'm sorry. hahah.
epicurus
+0 -0
Dude ain't be hatin' on a little straight-up bromance if it be strictly biannual in nature, feelin' me?
Dude ain't be hatin' on a little straight-up bromance if it be strictly biannual in nature, feelin' me?
soticoto
+0 -0
8*||
8*||
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Just look at the satisfied smile, the confident eyes, that come with the knowledge of swingin' death between one's legs.
Just look at the satisfied smile, the confident eyes, that come with the knowledge of swingin' death between one's legs.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
what are you talking about?
what are you talking about?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
That's Dustin Diamond, right? He's well known for packing quite a salami. LOL
That's Dustin Diamond, right? He's well known for packing quite a salami. LOL
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
yes. i posted it becasue that dude looks like him.
oh... i could have gone my whole life without knowing that.
yes. i posted it becasue that dude looks like him.
oh... i could have gone my whole life without knowing that.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
I hope I have not instigated any feelings of inadequacy . LOL
I hope I have not instigated any feelings of inadequacy . LOL
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
nah. im not built like a farm animal down there, but ive got enough.
nah. im not built like a farm animal down there, but ive got enough.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Not even a rooster? I WIN.
Not even a rooster? I WIN.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[rolls eyes]] fiiiine. you win.
[[rolls eyes]] fiiiine. you win.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
A field mouse doesn't count as a farm animal exactly, does it? I am cracking myself UP.
A field mouse doesn't count as a farm animal exactly, does it? I am cracking myself UP.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
youve earned the victory, at least leave me my pride...
youve earned the victory, at least leave me my pride...
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Ah, so you're saying you're hung like a LION. Niiiiiice.
Ah, so you're saying you're hung like a LION. Niiiiiice.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
but im gentle like a lamb
but im gentle like a lamb
bluemoon72
+0 -0
VERY nice.
VERY nice.
soticoto
+0 -0
You are seven dollars!
You are seven dollars!
teknofatcat
+0 -0
A comment left by teknofatcat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, Jesus, angelaw6745, Zem)
A comment left by teknofatcat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, Jesus, angelaw6745, Zem)
selbencoirlo
+1 -0
CDs still feel a little sci-fi to me. I still contend that anything with a laser component is PROBABLY from the future.
CDs still feel a little sci-fi to me. I still contend that anything with a laser component is PROBABLY from the future.
tttt2
+0 -0
Lyle is such a dick
Lyle is such a dick
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
Naw, that sorta thing rules for kids. Happened to me- I was Philippe and Lyle was my dad, except it was a shot and he decided to film it, cackling appropriately.
Naw, that sorta thing rules for kids. Happened to me- I was Philippe and Lyle was my dad, except it was a shot and he decided to film it, cackling appropriately.
senatorexlax
+2 -0
Haha, reminds me of when I was little and I wondered what beer tasted like so my dad let me have a sip. Of course I cringed and told him it was awful. His response: "yeah it tastes like shit, but I'll be damned if I don't love it."
Haha, reminds me of when I was little and I wondered what beer tasted like so my dad let me have a sip. Of course I cringed and told him it was awful. His response: "yeah it tastes like shit, but I'll be damned if I don't love it."
libelandslander
+0 -0
Your father did not truly love beer.
Your father did not truly love beer.
hateandwar
+1 -0
Go have a couple of kids, you'll understand how one can come to deeply and truly love beer.
Go have a couple of kids, you'll understand how one can come to deeply and truly love beer.
molesticide
+1 -0
promise to grind their fist really slowly and carefully into your mouth
"promise" and "carefully" make that one for me.
promise to grind their fist really slowly and carefully into your mouth
"promise" and "carefully" make that one for me.
deovalente
+4 -0
I agree. Without them, the sentence would merely be "to grind their fist really slowly and into your mouth."
I agree. Without them, the sentence would merely be "to grind their fist really slowly and into your mouth."
k_buttsworthe
+0 -1
phillipe is a regular h. bogart with that smoke in his mouth. looks like he just got done calling molly 'dollface'.
phillipe is a regular h. bogart with that smoke in his mouth. looks like he just got done calling molly 'dollface'.
honesttom
+0 -0
5 for the mortician fact.
5 for the mortician fact.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
This is the best friday facts.
This is the best friday facts.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
It is true that I have never seen an image of a squid winning one of these fights. I wonder if it is a Freudian thing.
It is true that I have never seen an image of a squid winning one of these fights. I wonder if it is a Freudian thing.
stayawaystars
+0 -0
Do 5-year-olds even know what tapes are these days?
Do 5-year-olds even know what tapes are these days?
boredom_man
+1 -0
I bet Philippe does, given that Cornelius is hella old school, Teodor is Gen-X nostalgic, and Todd still does coke to Dokken.
I bet Philippe does, given that Cornelius is hella old school, Teodor is Gen-X nostalgic, and Todd still does coke to Dokken.
libelandslander
+0 -0
But cassettes aren't that old school. Would it not make more sense for Cornelius to listen to Wax Cylinders?
But cassettes aren't that old school. Would it not make more sense for Cornelius to listen to Wax Cylinders?
boredom_man
+0 -0
Hm, good point. But Nice Pete, I recall, definitely listens to tapes. And he and Philippe take van rides together.
Hm, good point. But Nice Pete, I recall, definitely listens to tapes. And he and Philippe take van rides together.
libelandslander
+0 -0
I wasn't disagreeing with the whole comment, just the idea that Mr. Bear's hella old school-ness would = cassette tapes.
Also, I think about wax cylinders a lot.
I wasn't disagreeing with the whole comment, just the idea that Mr. Bear's hella old school-ness would = cassette tapes.
Also, I think about wax cylinders a lot.
boredom_man
+0 -0
They can be used as flexible and travel-safe storage units or to help small pets get to difficult locations.
They can be used as flexible and travel-safe storage units or to help small pets get to difficult locations.
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
Philippe wants to watch old ladies die.
Philippe wants to watch old ladies die.
soticoto
+0 -0
The implication of a special room under churches is probably that they're still alive when they're buried.
The implication of a special room under churches is probably that they're still alive when they're buried.
hypoluxa
+0 -0
Two days until I follow the advice of the alt text....
Two days until I follow the advice of the alt text....
soticoto
+0 -1
Philippe has been watching The Lawnmower Man...
... and doesn't know such as a Sperm Whale.
Philippe has been watching The Lawnmower Man...
... and doesn't know such as a Sperm Whale.
cjfoster
+0 -0
"inside my neck" - this is a very five-year-old thing
"inside my neck" - this is a very five-year-old thing
akarroa
+0 -0
THAT THERE IS A SPERM WHALE.
THAT THERE IS A SPERM WHALE.
nonanon
+0 -0
I just love that Philippe believes there is some police officer whose sole job is to find people jumping from high buildings and shoot them before they hit the pavement.
I just love that Philippe believes there is some police officer whose sole job is to find people jumping from high buildings and shoot them before they hit the pavement.
nickb285
+0 -0
Suicide is apparently a capital offense.
Suicide is apparently a capital offense.
benthecartoon
+0 -0
Well, Lie-bot told him so!
Well, Lie-bot told him so!
fermatprime
+0 -0
"Lie Bot, what is the saddest job?"
"Lie Bot, what is the saddest job?"
jaldor
+0 -0
That is radical!
That is radical!
coke_hakola
+1 -0
My favorite part of this strip is that Africa Corner is shamelessly displayed in the middle of the page.
My favorite part of this strip is that Africa Corner is shamelessly displayed in the middle of the page.
tbtabby
+0 -0
When I saw this YouTube vid, I immediately thought of this particular edition of Friday Facts.
When I saw this YouTube vid, I immediately thought of this particular edition of Friday Facts.
bavarious
+0 -0
late to the party, but the lack of underlines on the text sections of "Africa Corner" really make it for me.
late to the party, but the lack of underlines on the text sections of "Africa Corner" really make it for me.
A comment left by fuckyoufriday was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kenthegod, RBisme, LiquidCruelty)
A comment left by atom was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NYU, kenthegod, RBisme)
I CARRY AROUND A VICTROLA THAT RUNS ON WHALE OIL HOW AWESOME IS THAT
This is the comment that saved the internet
seconded
i will somehow work this into a conversation this weekend i swear it
you, sir, now have ONE HUNDRED chubbies!
THE MAN IS SO OLD SCHOOL HE DRIVES A YELLOW BUS WITH GOTHIC ARCH WINDOWS!
THE PERFECT THING TO SAY, EVER!
*SPLUT*
phonograph and 8-track too
Love the fact that it's most likely because he overheard that people in africa are poor, and made the assumption that it's nothing more serious than them not being able to afford cds.
I can understand why people like listening to records, because it's got that unique sound that you're not going to get from anything else.
But why in god's name would you listen to tapes? They make everything sound like a bad concert where the band's soundguy had to go to a wedding, so they brought some random along on tour who knows NOTHING about music.
is SO true
Am I alone in not being able to tell the difference between the same song on vinyl, Cassette, CD, or MP3? Because they all sound identical to me.
No, you are not alone. I am with you. I am that tone deaf and ignorant. I like sounds. Musical sounds. But that's about all I can discern, no matter what the source of those sounds.
I like how this comment seems to imply that we jumped directly from cassette to MP3, as if CDs never existed.
UPDATE: I now have an iPod and thusly rarely listen to tapes anymore. *BUT*, I do use a cassette adapter to play my iPod in the car... Does that make me cool?
this is like the past and the future kissing. each other. getting all warm and letting hands roam and stuff...
The cassette player is king of make-outs.
oh my god I'm so sorry I meant to chubby not lame oh god oh god can i take it back
Awesome Tapes from Africa