wtfoxnews
+4 -1
Will Lyle be drinking tea or reading Wilde in the next one? Will Connie express an interest in noodlin? Oh Onstad, you are blowing my mind.
Will Lyle be drinking tea or reading Wilde in the next one? Will Connie express an interest in noodlin? Oh Onstad, you are blowing my mind.
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
lucidz
+12 -0
Were we not promised cuddlenacht? I believe in the next one, Phillipe should not be standing on it, but be standing on a balcony, smoking a cigarette, shooting naked Jews, before calling one up to cuddle with.
Were we not promised cuddlenacht? I believe in the next one, Phillipe should not be standing on it, but be standing on a balcony, smoking a cigarette, shooting naked Jews, before calling one up to cuddle with.
philophobe
+4 -0
Rough chuckles, etc.
Rough chuckles, etc.
holmcross
+0 -0
God damn it, we need some cuddlenacht up in this bitch.
I vote New Year's Eve.
God damn it, we need some cuddlenacht up in this bitch.
I vote New Year's Eve.
mockereo
+0 -0
Thanks for actually posting something OTHER than a complaint about the strips not being updated often enough. And I mean that genuinely; it's a nice change. It's what I wanted for Christmas.
Thanks for actually posting something OTHER than a complaint about the strips not being updated often enough. And I mean that genuinely; it's a nice change. It's what I wanted for Christmas.
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MelloClello, parkerah, BrokeAccount, Jorus, LexSenthur, I_Love_Kate, ouroboros)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MelloClello, parkerah, BrokeAccount, Jorus, LexSenthur, I_Love_Kate, ouroboros)
gormster
+1 -0
trolls also get banned. sorry, man, it ain't gonna work.
also, fuck you.
trolls also get banned. sorry, man, it ain't gonna work.
also, fuck you.
missbee
+0 -0
I can understand trolling people who suck, but what's your beef with assetbar/fanflow, AIU?
I can understand trolling people who suck, but what's your beef with assetbar/fanflow, AIU?
jimple
+0 -2
sometimes people have a smug look on their faces like they need to be trolled. fanflow peeps have that aura about them.
so many jerks, so little time
all I want for Christmas is a bunch of nuclear fission devices.
sometimes people have a smug look on their faces like they need to be trolled. fanflow peeps have that aura about them.
so many jerks, so little time
all I want for Christmas is a bunch of nuclear fission devices.
faits
+2 -0
yeah people who give onstad three of their dollars a month
what cocks
let us lynch them
yeah people who give onstad three of their dollars a month
what cocks
let us lynch them
jimple
+0 -1
hey just cause you give onstad some money doesn't give you license to be smug prick. I am guessing you is a fanflow person too
hey just cause you give onstad some money doesn't give you license to be smug prick. I am guessing you is a fanflow person too
wic
+0 -0
And here I thought the point of this project was to point out the obvious weakness of giving three disagreeing people the ability to silence a person for 24 hours.
A person that pays for that privilege, no less.
And here I thought the point of this project was to point out the obvious weakness of giving three disagreeing people the ability to silence a person for 24 hours.
A person that pays for that privilege, no less.
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by incompleteunit, peterjoel, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by incompleteunit, peterjoel, I_Love_Kate)
beaster
+1 -0
I guess it's time to fight fire with fire.
I guess it's time to fight fire with fire.
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rasteroid, peterjoel, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rasteroid, peterjoel, I_Love_Kate)
jimple
+0 -2
B
B
missbee
+0 -0
Well, I'd rather you wouldn't cause problems for them or us freeside guys but carry on I suppose.
Well, I'd rather you wouldn't cause problems for them or us freeside guys but carry on I suppose.
doppelganger
+1 -0
"Freeside guys "
I like that. The others can be called the "flowsters."
"Freeside guys "
I like that. The others can be called the "flowsters."
missbee
+0 -0
Nice. It sounds dirty.
Nice. It sounds dirty.
singtralala
+0 -0
man i love your avatar thingy
man i love your avatar thingy
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
miss bee is a guy.
miss bee is a guy.
missbee
+0 -0
Does it matter?
Does it matter?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
only if you want it to, honey.
only if you want it to, honey.
ratacat
+0 -0
said the one heteronormative avatar to the other
said the one heteronormative avatar to the other
belgand
+1 -0
If you're saying "heteronormative" you've probably already lost.
If you're saying "heteronormative" you've probably already lost.
ratacat
+0 -0
I don't know what your objection to the word and/or concept is, I just hope it's not that it's not derived from that general conservative knee-jerk anti-pc school of 'thought.'
I don't know what your objection to the word and/or concept is, I just hope it's not that it's not derived from that general conservative knee-jerk anti-pc school of 'thought.'
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
u wear ur shit on ur sleeve big time bro. how bout u shut the fuck up wit dat nonsense
u wear ur shit on ur sleeve big time bro. how bout u shut the fuck up wit dat nonsense
ratacat
+0 -0
your jealous because my avatar can kick your avatar's ass maybe?
ha ha just messin with ya mr. g.
in other news, I am very attracted to females* who are not hetronormative.
*female humans, that is.
your jealous because my avatar can kick your avatar's ass maybe?
ha ha just messin with ya mr. g.
in other news, I am very attracted to females* who are not hetronormative.
*female humans, that is.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
ruaiu?
ruaiu?
ratacat
+0 -0
that's a terrible thing to say! That's like asking a butch tomboy chick if she has a penis!
that's a terrible thing to say! That's like asking a butch tomboy chick if she has a penis!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
he is.
he is.
ratacat
+0 -1
ruacuntbitchwhoreidiotterriblepersonwhohasbad- breathandapredelictionforpedophilia?
ruacuntbitchwhoreidiotterriblepersonwhohasbad- breathandapredelictionforpedophilia?
ratacat
+0 -0
ohandhappynewyearbytheway!
ohandhappynewyearbytheway!
missbee
+0 -0
Happy new years to you too, man.
Happy new years to you too, man.
missbee
+0 -0
Honestly, I'd rather be a guy.
And: hee! You called me honey.
Honestly, I'd rather be a guy.
And: hee! You called me honey.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
im happy if youre happy, miss(ter) bee.
im happy if youre happy, miss(ter) bee.
missbee
+0 -0
D'aw.
D'aw.
drskradley
+0 -0
Nah, I'm cool with having a life instead, thanks.
Nah, I'm cool with having a life instead, thanks.
plummet
+1 -0
Let's be frank, Drskradley, if you actually had a life you wouldn't be on Assetbar.
Let's be frank, Drskradley, if you actually had a life you wouldn't be on Assetbar.
smilebuddha
+3 -0
When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. --Friedrich Nietzsche.
When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. --Friedrich Nietzsche.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
In Soviet Russia, [i]abyss falls into you!
In Soviet Russia, [i]abyss falls into you!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
damn little liar bbcode says you can leave off the endo, friendo.
LIAR!
damn little liar bbcode says you can leave off the endo, friendo.
LIAR!
plummet
+0 -0
DOES BBCODE KNOW HOW MUCH NOISE SCORPIO MAKES?! DO THEY?!
DOES BBCODE KNOW HOW MUCH NOISE SCORPIO MAKES?! DO THEY?!
maximus
+0 -0
"I've gazed into the abyss and the abyss gazed into me, and neither of us liked what we saw."
-Brother Theodore
"I've gazed into the abyss and the abyss gazed into me, and neither of us liked what we saw."
-Brother Theodore
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by BrokeAccount, Prine, Jorus, singtralala, mr-siegal, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by BrokeAccount, Prine, Jorus, singtralala, mr-siegal, I_Love_Kate)
i_love_kate
+1 -0
He's right, I've not been doing my community service lately.
He's right, I've not been doing my community service lately.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
When was the last time YOU lamed AIU?
When was the last time YOU lamed AIU?
plummet
+1 -0
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT AIU
[IMGS OFF]
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT AIU
[IMGS OFF]
belgand
+0 -0
You have found my secret weakness. I must do whatever Haruhi tells me to.
You have found my secret weakness. I must do whatever Haruhi tells me to.
belgand
+0 -0
When was the last time any of us had lames to give out?
When was the last time any of us had lames to give out?
ratacat
+0 -1
shit... you're right... lames are earned by rating strips... but we can't rate strips anymore...
shit... you're right... lames are earned by rating strips... but we can't rate strips anymore...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the more friendly have been saving theirs for moments like these.
the more friendly have been saving theirs for moments like these.
salvar
+0 -0
Lyle will be doing calligraphy.
Lyle will be doing calligraphy.
mawk
+3 -0
Lyle will be readin' Proust.
Lyle will be readin' Proust.
wtfoxnews
+0 -0
I almost said Proust. Almost. Wavelengths, we ride them together.
I almost said Proust. Almost. Wavelengths, we ride them together.
daedala_x
+0 -0
Pat will be reading The Passion of Michel Foucault (it is not even accurate, haha!)
Pat will be reading The Passion of Michel Foucault (it is not even accurate, haha!)
gormster
+0 -0
Pat will be having sex with a woman.
Pat will be having sex with a woman.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
so will i.
so will i.
plummet
+0 -0
i had sex with your woman last night
i had sex with your woman last night
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i read your autobiography last night while eating the fine dessert you baked just for me while wearing clothing that you knitted from yarn that was once the hair of a rare exotic critter.
i read your autobiography last night while eating the fine dessert you baked just for me while wearing clothing that you knitted from yarn that was once the hair of a rare exotic critter.
plummet
+0 -0
I put LSD in your dessert.
I put LSD in your dessert.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i wondered where that whole tangent came from..... basically, everything after dessert must have been a figment of my imagination.
i wondered where that whole tangent came from..... basically, everything after dessert must have been a figment of my imagination.
jimple
+0 -0
except for the figs
except for the figs
jimple
+3 -2
MyfathersfamilynamebeingPirripandmyChristiannamePhilipmyinfanttonguecouldmakeofbothnamesnothinglongerormoreexplicitthanPipSoIcalledmyselfPipandcametobecalledPipIgivePirripasmyfathersfamilynameontheauthorityofhistombstoneandmysisterMrsJoeGargerywhomarriedtheblacksmithAsIneversawmyfatherormymotherandneversawanylikenessofeitherofthemfortheirdayswerelongbeforethedaysofphotographsmyfirstfanciesregardingwhattheywerelikewereunreasonablyderivedfromtheirtombstonesTheshapeofthelettersonmyfathersgavemeanoddideathathewasasquarestoutdarkmanwithcurlyblackhairFromthecharacterandturnoftheinscriptionAlsoGeorgianaWifeoftheAboveIdrewachildishconclusionthatmymotherwasfreckledandsicklyTofivelittlestonelozengeseachaboutafootandahalflongwhichwerearrangedinaneatrowbesidetheirgraveandweresacredtothememoryoffivelittlebrothersofminewhogaveuptryingtogetalivingexceedinglyearlyinthatuniversalstruggleIamindebtedforabeliefIreligiouslyentertainedthattheyhadallbeenbornontheirbackswiththeirhandsintheirtrouserspocketsandhadnevertakenthemoutinthisstateofexistenceOurswasthemarshcountrydownbytheriverwithinastheriverwoundtwentymilesoftheseaMyfirstmostvividandbroadimpressionoftheidentityofthingsseemstometohavebeengainedonamemorablerawafternoontowardseveningAtsuchatimeIfoundoutforcertainthatthisbleakplaceovergrownwithnettleswasthechurchyardandthatPhilipPirriplateofthisparishandalsoGeorgianawifeoftheaboveweredeadandburiedandthatAlexanderBartholomewAbrahamTobiasandRogerinfantchildrenoftheaforesaidwerealsodeadandburiedandthatthedarkflatwildernessbeyondthechurchyardintersectedwithdykesandmoundsandgateswithscatteredcattlefeedingonitwasthemarshesandthatthelowleadenlinebeyondwastheriverandthatthedistantsavagelairfromwhichthewindwasrushingwastheseaandthatthesmallbundleofshiversgrowingafraidofitallandbeginningtocrywasPipHoldyournoisecriedaterriblevoiceasamanstartedupfromamongthegravesatthesideofthechurchporchKeepstillyoulittledevilorIllcutyourthroatAfearfulmanallincoarsegreywithagreatirononhislegAmanwithnohatandwithbrokenshoesandwithanoldragtiedroundhisheadAmanwhohadbeensoakedinwaterandsmotheredinmudandlamedbystonesandcutbyflintsandstungbynettlesandtornbybriarswholimpedandshiveredandglaredandgrowledandwhoseteethchatteredinhisheadasheseizedmebythechinODontcutmythroatsirIpleadedinterrorPraydontdoitsirTellusyournamesaidthemanQuickPipsirOncemoresaidthemanstaringatmeGiveitmouthPipPipsirShowuswhereyoulivesaidthemanPintouttheplaceIpointedtowhereourvillagelayontheflatinshoreamongthealdertreesandpollardsamileormorefromthechurchThemanafterlookingatmeforamomentturnedmeupsidedownandemptiedmypocketsTherewasnothinginthembutapieceofbreadWhenthechurchcametoitselfforhewassosuddenandstrongthathemadeitgoheadoverheelsbeforemeandIsawthesteepleundermyfeetwhenthechurchcametoitselfIsayIwasseatedonahightombstonetremblingwhileheatethebreadravenouslyYouyoungdogsaidthemanlickinghislipswhatfatcheeksyouhagotIbelievetheywerefatthoughIwasatthattimeundersizedformyyearsandnotstrongDarnmeifIcouldnteatemsaidthemanwithathreateningshakeofhisheadandifIhanthalfamindtotIearnestlyexpressedmyhopethathewouldntandheldtightertothetombstoneonwhichhehadputmepartlytokeepmyselfuponitpartlytokeepmyselffromcryingNowlookeeheresaidthemanWheresyourmotherTheresirsaidIHestartedmadeashortrunandstoppedandlookedoverhisshoulderTheresirItimidlyexplainedAlsoGeorgianaThatsmymotherOhsaidhecomingbackAndisthatyourfatheralongeryourmotherYessirsaidIhimtoolateofthisparishHahemutteredthenconsideringWhodyelivewithsupposinyourekindlylettolivewhichIhantmadeupmymindaboutMysistersirMrsJoeGargerywifeofJoeGargerytheblacksmithsirBlacksmithehsaidheAndlookeddownathislegAfterdarklylookingathislegandmeseveraltimeshecameclosertomytombstonetookmebybotharmsandtiltedmebackasfarashecouldholdmesothathiseyeslookedmostpowerfullydownintomineandminelookedmosthelplesslyupintohisNowlookeeherehesaidthequestionbeingwhetheryouretobelettoliveYouknowwhatafileisYessirAndyouknowwhatwittlesisYessirAftereachquestionhetiltedmeoveralittlemoresoastogivemeagreatersenseofhelplessnessanddangerYougetmeafileHetiltedmeagainAndyougetmewittlesHetiltedmeagainYoubringembothtomeHetiltedmeagainOrIllhaveyourheartandliveroutHetiltedmeagainIwasdreadfullyfrightenedandsogiddythatIclungtohimwithbothhandsandsaidIfyouwouldkindlypleasetoletmekeepuprightsirperhapsIshouldntbesickandperhapsIcouldattendmoreHegavemeamosttremendousdipandrollsothatthechurchjumpedoveritsownweathercockThenheheldmebythearmsinanuprightpositiononthetopofthestoneandwentoninthesefearfultermsYoubringmetomorrowmorningearlythatfileandthemwittlesYoubringthelottomeatthatoldBatteryoveryonderYoudoitandyouneverdaretosayawordordaretomakeasignconcerningyourhavingseensuchapersonasmeoranypersonsumeverandyoushallbelettoliveYoufailoryougofrommywordsinanyparticklernomatterhowsmallitisandyourheartandyourlivershallbetoreoutroastedandateNowIaintaloneasyoumaythinkIamTheresayoungmanhidwithmeincomparisonwithwhichyoungmanIamaAngelThatyoungmanhearsthewordsIspeakThatyoungmanhasasecretwaypecooliartohimselfofgettingataboyandathisheartandathisliverItisinwainforaboytoattempttohidehimselffromthatyoungmanAboymaylockhisdoormaybewarminbedmaytuckhimselfupmaydrawtheclothesoverhisheadmaythinkhimselfcomfortableandsafebutthatyoungmanwillsoftlycreepandcreephiswaytohimandtearhimopenIamakeepingthatyoungmanfromharmingofyouatthepresentmomentwithgreatdifficultyIfinditweryhardtoholdthatyoungmanoffofyourinsideNowwhatdoyousayIsaidthatIwouldgethimthefileandIwouldgethimwhatbrokenbitsoffoodIcouldandIwouldcometohimattheBatteryearlyinthemorningSayLordstrikeyoudeadifyoudontsaidthemanIsaidsoandhetookmedownNowhepursuedyourememberwhatyouveundertookandyourememberthatyoungmanandyougethomeGoogoodnightsirIfalteredMuchofthatsaidheglancingabouthimoverthecoldwetflatIwishIwasafrogOraeelAtthesametimehehuggedhisshudderingbodyinbothhisarmsclaspinghimselfasiftoholdhimselftogetherandlimpedtowardsthelowchurchwallAsIsawhimgopickinghiswayamongthenettlesandamongthebramblesthatboundthegreenmoundshelookedinmyyoungeyesasifhewereeludingthehandsofthedeadpeoplestretchingupcautiouslyoutoftheirgravestogetatwistuponhisankleandpullhiminWhenhecametothelowchurchwallhegotoveritlikeamanwhoselegswerenumbedandstiffandthenturnedroundtolookformeWhenIsawhimturningIsetmyfacetowardshomeandmadethebestuseofmylegsButpresentlyIlookedovermyshoulderandsawhimgoingonagaintowardstheriverstillhugginghimselfinbotharmsandpickinghiswaywithhissorefeetamongthegreatstonesdroppedintothemarsheshereandthereforsteppingplaceswhentherainswereheavyorthetidewasinThemarsheswerejustalongblackhorizontallinethenasIstoppedtolookafterhimandtheriverwasjustanotherhorizontallinenotnearlysobroadnoryetsoblackandtheskywasjustarowoflongangryredlinesanddenseblacklinesintermixedOntheedgeoftheriverIcouldfaintlymakeouttheonlytwoblackthingsinalltheprospectthatseemedtobestandinguprightoneofthesewasthebeaconbywhichthesailorssteeredlikeanunhoopedcaskuponapoleanuglythingwhenyouwerenearittheotheragibbetwithsomechainshangingtoitwhichhadonceheldapirateThemanwaslimpingontowardsthislatterasifhewerethepiratecometolifeandcomedownandgoingbacktohookhimselfupagainItgavemeaterribleturnwhenIthoughtsoandasIsawthecattleliftingtheirheadstogazeafterhimIwonderedwhethertheythoughtsotooIlookedallroundforthehorribleyoungmanandcouldseenosignsofhimButnowIwasfrightenedagainandranhomewithoutstopping
MyfathersfamilynamebeingPirripandmyChristiannamePhilipmyinfanttonguecouldmakeofbothnamesnothinglongerormoreexplicitthanPipSoIcalledmyselfPipandcametobecalledPipIgivePirripasmyfathersfamilynameontheauthorityofhistombstoneandmysisterMrsJoeGargerywhomarriedtheblacksmithAsIneversawmyfatherormymotherandneversawanylikenessofeitherofthemfortheirdayswerelongbeforethedaysofphotographsmyfirstfanciesregardingwhattheywerelikewereunreasonablyderivedfromtheirtombstonesTheshapeofthelettersonmyfathersgavemeanoddideathathewasasquarestoutdarkmanwithcurlyblackhairFromthecharacterandturnoftheinscriptionAlsoGeorgianaWifeoftheAboveIdrewachildishconclusionthatmymotherwasfreckledandsicklyTofivelittlestonelozengeseachaboutafootandahalflongwhichwerearrangedinaneatrowbesidetheirgraveandweresacredtothememoryoffivelittlebrothersofminewhogaveuptryingtogetalivingexceedinglyearlyinthatuniversalstruggleIamindebtedforabeliefIreligiouslyentertainedthattheyhadallbeenbornontheirbackswiththeirhandsintheirtrouserspocketsandhadnevertakenthemoutinthisstateofexistenceOurswasthemarshcountrydownbytheriverwithinastheriverwoundtwentymilesoftheseaMyfirstmostvividandbroadimpressionoftheidentityofthingsseemstometohavebeengainedonamemorablerawafternoontowardseveningAtsuchatimeIfoundoutforcertainthatthisbleakplaceovergrownwithnettleswasthechurchyardandthatPhilipPirriplateofthisparishandalsoGeorgianawifeoftheaboveweredeadandburiedandthatAlexanderBartholomewAbrahamTobiasandRogerinfantchildrenoftheaforesaidwerealsodeadandburiedandthatthedarkflatwildernessbeyondthechurchyardintersectedwithdykesandmoundsandgateswithscatteredcattlefeedingonitwasthemarshesandthatthelowleadenlinebeyondwastheriverandthatthedistantsavagelairfromwhichthewindwasrushingwastheseaandthatthesmallbundleofshiversgrowingafraidofitallandbeginningtocrywasPipHoldyournoisecriedaterriblevoiceasamanstartedupfromamongthegravesatthesideofthechurchporchKeepstillyoulittledevilorIllcutyourthroatAfearfulmanallincoarsegreywithagreatirononhislegAmanwithnohatandwithbrokenshoesandwithanoldragtiedroundhisheadAmanwhohadbeensoakedinwaterandsmotheredinmudandlamedbystonesandcutbyflintsandstungbynettlesandtornbybriarswholimpedandshiveredandglaredandgrowledandwhoseteethchatteredinhisheadasheseizedmebythechinODontcutmythroatsirIpleadedinterrorPraydontdoitsirTellusyournamesaidthemanQuickPipsirOncemoresaidthemanstaringatmeGiveitmouthPipPipsirShowuswhereyoulivesaidthemanPintouttheplaceIpointedtowhereourvillagelayontheflatinshoreamongthealdertreesandpollardsamileormorefromthechurchThemanafterlookingatmeforamomentturnedmeupsidedownandemptiedmypocketsTherewasnothinginthembutapieceofbreadWhenthechurchcametoitselfforhewassosuddenandstrongthathemadeitgoheadoverheelsbeforemeandIsawthesteepleundermyfeetwhenthechurchcametoitselfIsayIwasseatedonahightombstonetremblingwhileheatethebreadravenouslyYouyoungdogsaidthemanlickinghislipswhatfatcheeksyouhagotIbelievetheywerefatthoughIwasatthattimeundersizedformyyearsandnotstrongDarnmeifIcouldnteatemsaidthemanwithathreateningshakeofhisheadandifIhanthalfamindtotIearnestlyexpressedmyhopethathewouldntandheldtightertothetombstoneonwhichhehadputmepartlytokeepmyselfuponitpartlytokeepmyselffromcryingNowlookeeheresaidthemanWheresyourmotherTheresirsaidIHestartedmadeashortrunandstoppedandlookedoverhisshoulderTheresirItimidlyexplainedAlsoGeorgianaThatsmymotherOhsaidhecomingbackAndisthatyourfatheralongeryourmotherYessirsaidIhimtoolateofthisparishHahemutteredthenconsideringWhodyelivewithsupposinyourekindlylettolivewhichIhantmadeupmymindaboutMysistersirMrsJoeGargerywifeofJoeGargerytheblacksmithsirBlacksmithehsaidheAndlookeddownathislegAfterdarklylookingathislegandmeseveraltimeshecameclosertomytombstonetookmebybotharmsandtiltedmebackasfarashecouldholdmesothathiseyeslookedmostpowerfullydownintomineandminelookedmosthelplesslyupintohisNowlookeeherehesaidthequestionbeingwhetheryouretobelettoliveYouknowwhatafileisYessirAndyouknowwhatwittlesisYessirAftereachquestionhetiltedmeoveralittlemoresoastogivemeagreatersenseofhelplessnessanddangerYougetmeafileHetiltedmeagainAndyougetmewittlesHetiltedmeagainYoubringembothtomeHetiltedmeagainOrIllhaveyourheartandliveroutHetiltedmeagainIwasdreadfullyfrightenedandsogiddythatIclungtohimwithbothhandsandsaidIfyouwouldkindlypleasetoletmekeepuprightsirperhapsIshouldntbesickandperhapsIcouldattendmoreHegavemeamosttremendousdipandrollsothatthechurchjumpedoveritsownweathercockThenheheldmebythearmsinanuprightpositiononthetopofthestoneandwentoninthesefearfultermsYoubringmetomorrowmorningearlythatfileandthemwittlesYoubringthelottomeatthatoldBatteryoveryonderYoudoitandyouneverdaretosayawordordaretomakeasignconcerningyourhavingseensuchapersonasmeoranypersonsumeverandyoushallbelettoliveYoufailoryougofrommywordsinanyparticklernomatterhowsmallitisandyourheartandyourlivershallbetoreoutroastedandateNowIaintaloneasyoumaythinkIamTheresayoungmanhidwithmeincomparisonwithwhichyoungmanIamaAngelThatyoungmanhearsthewordsIspeakThatyoungmanhasasecretwaypecooliartohimselfofgettingataboyandathisheartandathisliverItisinwainforaboytoattempttohidehimselffromthatyoungmanAboymaylockhisdoormaybewarminbedmaytuckhimselfupmaydrawtheclothesoverhisheadmaythinkhimselfcomfortableandsafebutthatyoungmanwillsoftlycreepandcreephiswaytohimandtearhimopenIamakeepingthatyoungmanfromharmingofyouatthepresentmomentwithgreatdifficultyIfinditweryhardtoholdthatyoungmanoffofyourinsideNowwhatdoyousayIsaidthatIwouldgethimthefileandIwouldgethimwhatbrokenbitsoffoodIcouldandIwouldcometohimattheBatteryearlyinthemorningSayLordstrikeyoudeadifyoudontsaidthemanIsaidsoandhetookmedownNowhepursuedyourememberwhatyouveundertookandyourememberthatyoungmanandyougethomeGoogoodnightsirIfalteredMuchofthatsaidheglancingabouthimoverthecoldwetflatIwishIwasafrogOraeelAtthesametimehehuggedhisshudderingbodyinbothhisarmsclaspinghimselfasiftoholdhimselftogetherandlimpedtowardsthelowchurchwallAsIsawhimgopickinghiswayamongthenettlesandamongthebramblesthatboundthegreenmoundshelookedinmyyoungeyesasifhewereeludingthehandsofthedeadpeoplestretchingupcautiouslyoutoftheirgravestogetatwistuponhisankleandpullhiminWhenhecametothelowchurchwallhegotoveritlikeamanwhoselegswerenumbedandstiffandthenturnedroundtolookformeWhenIsawhimturningIsetmyfacetowardshomeandmadethebestuseofmylegsButpresentlyIlookedovermyshoulderandsawhimgoingonagaintowardstheriverstillhugginghimselfinbotharmsandpickinghiswaywithhissorefeetamongthegreatstonesdroppedintothemarsheshereandthereforsteppingplaceswhentherainswereheavyorthetidewasinThemarsheswerejustalongblackhorizontallinethenasIstoppedtolookafterhimandtheriverwasjustanotherhorizontallinenotnearlysobroadnoryetsoblackandtheskywasjustarowoflongangryredlinesanddenseblacklinesintermixedOntheedgeoftheriverIcouldfaintlymakeouttheonlytwoblackthingsinalltheprospectthatseemedtobestandinguprightoneofthesewasthebeaconbywhichthesailorssteeredlikeanunhoopedcaskuponapoleanuglythingwhenyouwerenearittheotheragibbetwithsomechainshangingtoitwhichhadonceheldapirateThemanwaslimpingontowardsthislatterasifhewerethepiratecometolifeandcomedownandgoingbacktohookhimselfupagainItgavemeaterribleturnwhenIthoughtsoandasIsawthecattleliftingtheirheadstogazeafterhimIwonderedwhethertheythoughtsotooIlookedallroundforthehorribleyoungmanandcouldseenosignsofhimButnowIwasfrightenedagainandranhomewithoutstopping
scottawesome
+3 -1
I had greater expectations.
I had greater expectations.
pursesnatcher
+4 -1
Jimple, Dickens was paid by the word. He would not have been paid very much if he didn't use SPACES.
Jimple, Dickens was paid by the word. He would not have been paid very much if he didn't use SPACES.
wingspan
+1 -0
Dickens wasn't paid by the word any more than the Beatles were paid by the note or Michelangelo was paid by the brush stroke. That is a myth that most likely started as a joke about the length of his novels.
Dickens wasn't paid by the word any more than the Beatles were paid by the note or Michelangelo was paid by the brush stroke. That is a myth that most likely started as a joke about the length of his novels.
jimple
+0 -1
I wasn't aware of that. Still, indirectly he was paid by the word for some of his novels, as they appeared as installments in periodicals, and he was paid for each installment, right?
I wasn't aware of that. Still, indirectly he was paid by the word for some of his novels, as they appeared as installments in periodicals, and he was paid for each installment, right?
achtung
+0 -0
also maybe a mix-up between him and dumas. all these authors look alike
also maybe a mix-up between him and dumas. all these authors look alike
belgand
+0 -0
That is an incorrect comparison. Both the Beatles and Michelangelo were good.
That is an incorrect comparison. Both the Beatles and Michelangelo were good.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Michelangelo's work was contractual, so, yes, he was paid by the stroke or chisel chip.
The Beatles had to fill a rigid format of a 2 /12 - 3 minute song. So you could say they were paid by the note.
Michelangelo's work was contractual, so, yes, he was paid by the stroke or chisel chip.
The Beatles had to fill a rigid format of a 2 /12 - 3 minute song. So you could say they were paid by the note.
singtralala
+2 -0
man, listen to how nice all their guitar notes were, they deserved to be paid for each one of them
man, listen to how nice all their guitar notes were, they deserved to be paid for each one of them
ratacat
+1 -0
My personal take on it is that most Beatles music sucked ass. Yes, I know they were hugely influential for a lot of artists, and yes, I know they did some insanely creative shit. But if you ask me, they also did a lot of stuff that sucked. They were the soundtrack for the 'reefer madness' generation.
My personal take on it is that most Beatles music sucked ass. Yes, I know they were hugely influential for a lot of artists, and yes, I know they did some insanely creative shit. But if you ask me, they also did a lot of stuff that sucked. They were the soundtrack for the 'reefer madness' generation.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i like listening to Strawberry Fields Forever and listening to where it is scotch taped together.
i like listening to Strawberry Fields Forever and listening to where it is scotch taped together.
wingspan
+0 -0
That is sort of what I was getting at, Scorpio. Basically any artist who receives payment for their work could be "paid by the ______".
I like Dickens. It doesn't really bother me if other people don't, but I get tired of hearing the 'paid by the word' thing because the people who repeat it (my ex-girlfriend, for example) are generally implying that his work is cheapened or all filler or something just because he knew he was going to get money for it.
If Dickens was wrong to expect payment for his work, then so were a heck of a lot of other people.
That is sort of what I was getting at, Scorpio. Basically any artist who receives payment for their work could be "paid by the ______".
I like Dickens. It doesn't really bother me if other people don't, but I get tired of hearing the 'paid by the word' thing because the people who repeat it (my ex-girlfriend, for example) are generally implying that his work is cheapened or all filler or something just because he knew he was going to get money for it.
If Dickens was wrong to expect payment for his work, then so were a heck of a lot of other people.
belgand
+0 -0
No, their claim is, of course, that he wrote exceedingly long passages for no other reason than he was getting paid more if he padded it out with lots of filler. I do not, personally, need an entire half-page devoted to describing a stairwell. Dickens, however, felt this was the right move and some people criticize him with this because they are aware that much of his work was serialized and jump to incorrect conclusions.
This still doesn't prevent me from loathing A Tale of Two Cities with almost every fiber of my being.
No, their claim is, of course, that he wrote exceedingly long passages for no other reason than he was getting paid more if he padded it out with lots of filler. I do not, personally, need an entire half-page devoted to describing a stairwell. Dickens, however, felt this was the right move and some people criticize him with this because they are aware that much of his work was serialized and jump to incorrect conclusions.
This still doesn't prevent me from loathing A Tale of Two Cities with almost every fiber of my being.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It was the best of assets, it was the worst of assets... it sure looks like Belgand's discontented to me!
It was the best of assets, it was the worst of assets... it sure looks like Belgand's discontented to me!
fooker2
+9 -1
My first post on this matter, by keylimepie, which is autoignored because ASSETBAR IS FASCIST:
I got head from a girl in an airport, who I then introduced to achewood. She cheated on her boyfriends with me, including the current guy who is now a fan of achewood judging by his myspace. He sells tires. He would have a tattoo like this if anyone showed it to him. This story has now come full circle.
My first post on this matter, by keylimepie, which is autoignored because ASSETBAR IS FASCIST:
I got head from a girl in an airport, who I then introduced to achewood. She cheated on her boyfriends with me, including the current guy who is now a fan of achewood judging by his myspace. He sells tires. He would have a tattoo like this if anyone showed it to him. This story has now come full circle.
jimple
+0 -1
fyi https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
As a side note, it sure is nice how assetbar leads you to believe you are allowed to make comments, and then dumps your comment after you type it, giving you a message saying that you're not allowed to make comments and to please try again tomorrow.
fyi https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
As a side note, it sure is nice how assetbar leads you to believe you are allowed to make comments, and then dumps your comment after you type it, giving you a message saying that you're not allowed to make comments and to please try again tomorrow.
wic
+0 -0
It crashed my IE but let's see if it works.
It crashed my IE but let's see if it works.
wic
+0 -0
Viva la revolution!
Viva la revolution!
wic
+1 -0
autrepoupee
+1 -0
sweet that guy that had a girls mouth about his genitals is back
this truly is the most wonderful time of the year
sweet that guy that had a girls mouth about his genitals is back
this truly is the most wonderful time of the year
thegoblins
+0 -0
Oh, that guy! Surely it's time for a little festive holiday beej.
Oh, that guy! Surely it's time for a little festive holiday beej.
goldhat
+0 -0
You are not the last bad choice that girl will make.
You are not the last bad choice that girl will make.
belgand
+0 -0
Which reminds me. Why do they make those big, thick, straight candy canes if you're not supposed to use them for sex? For, as we all know, you should never put sugar anywhere near that area. I mean, they're even delightfully minty. It just seems cruel.
Which reminds me. Why do they make those big, thick, straight candy canes if you're not supposed to use them for sex? For, as we all know, you should never put sugar anywhere near that area. I mean, they're even delightfully minty. It just seems cruel.
ratacat
+0 -0
what's wrong with sugar in your pussy? will it cause a culture of anthrax to form or something?
what's wrong with sugar in your pussy? will it cause a culture of anthrax to form or something?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yeast, you fool. That's what's wrong with it.
Yeast, you fool. That's what's wrong with it.
ratacat
+1 -0
y'east'er again!? I hardly got a rise out of her two days ago on our date on Friday!
y'east'er again!? I hardly got a rise out of her two days ago on our date on Friday!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Next time bring some dough.
Next time bring some dough.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
if the knead a'rises, i'm sure he will.
if the knead a'rises, i'm sure he will.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
thats the one thing i didnt get this year.....
thats the one thing i didnt get this year.....
jimple
+1 -1
don't count yourself out yet it's still not too late to pick up a severed pig's head at the local butcher shop
don't count yourself out yet it's still not too late to pick up a severed pig's head at the local butcher shop
jimple
+0 -2
if you leave it sit outside the fridge for a few days until maggots develop, the sensation of the maggots is similar to when someone gives you a bj with pop rocks candy in their mouth, only, it's kinda completely different... it's one of those things that's hard to describe, that you just have to experience...
if you leave it sit outside the fridge for a few days until maggots develop, the sensation of the maggots is similar to when someone gives you a bj with pop rocks candy in their mouth, only, it's kinda completely different... it's one of those things that's hard to describe, that you just have to experience...
hedonismbot
+2 -0
This is the season for all the missing weirdos to come back on and post.
This is the season for all the missing weirdos to come back on and post.
granularsilica
+0 -0
I haven't really been missing them that much.
I haven't really been missing them that much.
jimple
+0 -1
hey keylimepie you're on the global ignore list which means no one can see your post. if you log out you will see what everyone else sees when they see this page, which is this: Comment left by keylimepie ignored.
hey keylimepie you're on the global ignore list which means no one can see your post. if you log out you will see what everyone else sees when they see this page, which is this: Comment left by keylimepie ignored.
fooker3
+4 -0
Because Assetbar is Fascist.
Because Assetbar is Fascist.
jimple
+1 -1
agreed
agreed
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Oh dear lordy it's the schizophrenias.
Oh dear lordy it's the schizophrenias.
lexsenthur
+11 -0
You have a great personalities.
You have a great personalities.
deadpool
+0 -0
On first glance at the tattoo I though it said "YO MAMA."
I'm not sure if this is good or bad.
On first glance at the tattoo I though it said "YO MAMA."
I'm not sure if this is good or bad.
salvar
+0 -0
I thought it said "YOYO MAMA"... which actually might be a little too classy for the circumstances.
I thought it said "YOYO MAMA"... which actually might be a little too classy for the circumstances.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I thought it said "YOKO MAMA" and I was like, 'hey guys what did sean lennon do to deserve this diss?'
and then I remembered.
I thought it said "YOKO MAMA" and I was like, 'hey guys what did sean lennon do to deserve this diss?'
and then I remembered.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
(heres the thing though: i think yoko ono has one thousand better songs than sean lennon)
(heres the thing though: i think yoko ono has one thousand better songs than sean lennon)
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
She just never recorded any of them......
She just never recorded any of them......
invidious
+0 -0
And she certainly couldn't have been "singing" on any of them.
And she certainly couldn't have been "singing" on any of them.
belgand
+0 -0
What about her cover of Hedwig's Lament/Exquisite Corpse with Yo La Tengo on Wig in the Box? That was entirely tolerable.
What about her cover of Hedwig's Lament/Exquisite Corpse with Yo La Tengo on Wig in the Box? That was entirely tolerable.
mattylite
+0 -0
Entirely Tolerable
The Yoko Ono Story
Entirely Tolerable
The Yoko Ono Story
belgand
+1 -0
I think if we're covering her entire story we might have to downgrade it a bit to Occasionally Tolerable .
Perhaps once I finish:
In Retrospect He Was Actually Kind of A Dick More Often Than Most People Like To Discuss
A Belated Fuck-You to John Lennon
I think if we're covering her entire story we might have to downgrade it a bit to Occasionally Tolerable .
Perhaps once I finish:
In Retrospect He Was Actually Kind of A Dick More Often Than Most People Like To Discuss
A Belated Fuck-You to John Lennon
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
yeah, dude, those 2 comments below this are accurate burns on yoko ono.
yeah, dude, those 2 comments below this are accurate burns on yoko ono.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
above, i mean.
above, i mean.
foea
+1 -0
Yeah, but he played drums for Cibo Matto.. that has to count for *something*.
Yeah, but he played drums for Cibo Matto.. that has to count for *something*.
bradypalvarez
+1 -0
oh god thank you for having Roast Beef do such a thing
oh god thank you for having Roast Beef do such a thing
mercuri0us
+0 -0
A comment left by mercuri0us was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, TheLoneliestMonkey, usversusthem)
A comment left by mercuri0us was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, TheLoneliestMonkey, usversusthem)
deadpool
+6 -0
You're a tool.
You're a tool.
plummet
+0 -1
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH!!!!!
p.s. fuck yeah. 5'd
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH!!!!!
p.s. fuck yeah. 5'd
nice-on-water
+1 -0
5'd in spirit, I assume.
5'd in spirit, I assume.
plummet
+0 -0
I feel stupid now that I have found that I CANNOT RISE TO THE OCCASION.
It is only fitting that I be lamed, as I have been unable to Chubby this strip.
I feel stupid now that I have found that I CANNOT RISE TO THE OCCASION.
It is only fitting that I be lamed, as I have been unable to Chubby this strip.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Just know it wasn't me. I haven't lamed a soul in forever.
Just know it wasn't me. I haven't lamed a soul in forever.
plummet
+0 -0
Even if you lamed me I would find it to be wholly deserved, Nice-On-Water.
getting nice on weed atm
Even if you lamed me I would find it to be wholly deserved, Nice-On-Water.
getting nice on weed atm
nice-on-water
+1 -0
gettin' nice on weed, typin' on assetbar
my life is alright by me
gettin' nice on weed, typin' on assetbar
my life is alright by me
r1pp3r
+1 -0
and the future wears shades
and the future wears shades
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You've posted on AssetBar, but have you ever posted on AssetBar...
... On weed?
You've posted on AssetBar, but have you ever posted on AssetBar...
... On weed?
lateadopter
+3 -0
Next strip will be one panel, I guess. Ultra-concentrated Achewood: pour it straight in your eyes.
Next strip will be one panel, I guess. Ultra-concentrated Achewood: pour it straight in your eyes.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
And then the one after that will, of course, be no panel at all.
but what comes after that???
And then the one after that will, of course, be no panel at all.
but what comes after that???
plummet
+0 -0
Virtu-Achewood.
You will plug your computer into your skull and experience a reality where you are inside the Achewood universe. You can experience the joys of vomiting a football three feet as Lyle, and even drink the Mexican rotgut he drinks. All in your head, of course.
Virtu-Achewood.
You will plug your computer into your skull and experience a reality where you are inside the Achewood universe. You can experience the joys of vomiting a football three feet as Lyle, and even drink the Mexican rotgut he drinks. All in your head, of course.
mkb
+17 -0
You have to start writing strips and sending them to Onstad.
You have to start writing strips and sending them to Onstad.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
this.
this.
puguglypress
+6 -0
In Soviet Russia, Onstad criticizes sporadic comic output by YOU!!
In Soviet Russia, Onstad criticizes sporadic comic output by YOU!!
jimple
+0 -1
not picking on you in particular, but there should be a limit on how many times the same joke is allowed to be repeated here. Otherwise, this place is gonna get kinda boring.
not picking on you in particular, but there should be a limit on how many times the same joke is allowed to be repeated here. Otherwise, this place is gonna get kinda boring.
puguglypress
+1 -0
In Fascist Assetbar, boring place is YOU!!
In Fascist Assetbar, boring place is YOU!!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
the same jokes are repeated in the comics, so shut the hell up.
the same jokes are repeated in the comics, so shut the hell up.
jimple
+0 -1
well if the people on assetbar who repeat the same old jokes over and over again also make an original joke from time to time, I wouldn't mind so much.
well if the people on assetbar who repeat the same old jokes over and over again also make an original joke from time to time, I wouldn't mind so much.
puguglypress
+2 -0
In Fascist Assetbar, obnoxious and less-than-humorous poster is YOU!!
In Fascist Assetbar, obnoxious and less-than-humorous poster is YOU!!
puguglypress
+0 -0
Aw man, I think too many people have Jimple on ignore so they can't appreciate my witty repartee
Aw man, I think too many people have Jimple on ignore so they can't appreciate my witty repartee
drskradley
+0 -0
Well if that ain't the epitomy of the pot calling the kettle motherfuckin' black.
You've been workin' the same "Look at my shit I'm a troll and stuff" joke for over a year now. There's some originality in there, probably, but nobody bothers to read it because it's too long so we don't know for sure.
Well if that ain't the epitomy of the pot calling the kettle motherfuckin' black.
You've been workin' the same "Look at my shit I'm a troll and stuff" joke for over a year now. There's some originality in there, probably, but nobody bothers to read it because it's too long so we don't know for sure.
jimple
+0 -1
you don' hafta bring race into it
you don' hafta bring race into it
belgand
+0 -0
True, but somehow you've been allowed to post multiple times.
True, but somehow you've been allowed to post multiple times.
daedala_x
+4 -0
the entire strip is just alt-text
I was going to add another panel, but Philippe is standing on it.
the entire strip is just alt-text
I was going to add another panel, but Philippe is standing on it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I was going to add another panel, but Lyle used it for his man-douche!
I was going to add another panel, but Lyle used it for his man-douche!
spazdor
+1 -0
2 panels. At this level, the market demands non-linear value.
2 panels. At this level, the market demands non-linear value.
lateadopter
+0 -0
plummet
+1 -0
deus
+0 -0
instantkarma
+0 -0
purplehaze
+0 -0
mercuri0us
+0 -0
mercuri0us
+1 -0
Who is going to break the chain?? Will it be you?
Who is going to break the chain?? Will it be you?
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
deus
+0 -0
BASTARD! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
BASTARD! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
mangtastic
+0 -0
deus
+0 -0
Its to late man....to late...A for Effort though
Its to late man....to late...A for Effort though
telescreen
+0 -0
If you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you sayin'
WE MUST NEVER BREAK THE CHAIN!
If you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you sayin'
WE MUST NEVER BREAK THE CHAIN!
mockereo
+0 -0
I almost did exactly what you did, but I had self control.
I almost did exactly what you did, but I had self control.
deus
+0 -0
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
plummet
+1 -0
SOME FUCKIN' RAD ASS CAR TIRES!
SOME FUCKIN' RAD ASS CAR TIRES!
deus
+0 -0
RIIIITE!!!!
RIIIITE!!!!
chubbychecker
+0 -0
I would love to see Ray drinking wine coolers and fixating on a woman's legs/stems
I would love to see Ray drinking wine coolers and fixating on a woman's legs/stems
gladi8orrex
+5 -0
i am please d i m happy i am please di am hapyp i am pleased i am happy i am pleased i am happy i am pleased i am hangry i m pleesed i m hapngy i m peels i am hapngy i m pleas i am happy i am peese i am hangy i am peas i am hongy i am plees i am hung i am piss i am angry i am pissed i am angry i am pleased and im angry
i am please d i m happy i am please di am hapyp i am pleased i am happy i am pleased i am happy i am pleased i am hangry i m pleesed i m hapngy i m peels i am hapngy i m pleas i am happy i am peese i am hangy i am peas i am hongy i am plees i am hung i am piss i am angry i am pissed i am angry i am pleased and im angry
gladi8orrex
+6 -0
i epologise 4 such things is just that ma comments get out8'd so fast nah wit teh new quick strips dat... i ehsitate 2 do somethin more (pome, song) cuz its lik drop n teh bucket is gone in flash-fire so soon. ima get over dis i assure yall jus growin' pains cuz i use 2 ma stuff stayin round longer
i epologise 4 such things is just that ma comments get out8'd so fast nah wit teh new quick strips dat... i ehsitate 2 do somethin more (pome, song) cuz its lik drop n teh bucket is gone in flash-fire so soon. ima get over dis i assure yall jus growin' pains cuz i use 2 ma stuff stayin round longer
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Next up, distilled Gladi?
Next up, distilled Gladi?
jimple
+0 -2
so I go upstairs, right, and my roommate is washing some dishes, and there is a huge plastic bag of garbage sitting open, leaning against the front of the fridge door.
what the fuck? You were able to get the garbage bag out of the garbage can, you sat it down in front of the fridge, and then, you decided, hey, now's a good time to wash dishes???
Oh well. At least he got started on the garbage, which is unusual. Usually he lets the garbage bag fill completely up, and then starts piling garbage in the sink. I fucking hate people who let the garbage pile so high in the garbage can that it becomes a challenge to get the garbage bag out of the can without it spilling all over. Some people can't anticipate the consequences of their actions 5 seconds into the future.
so I go upstairs, right, and my roommate is washing some dishes, and there is a huge plastic bag of garbage sitting open, leaning against the front of the fridge door.
what the fuck? You were able to get the garbage bag out of the garbage can, you sat it down in front of the fridge, and then, you decided, hey, now's a good time to wash dishes???
Oh well. At least he got started on the garbage, which is unusual. Usually he lets the garbage bag fill completely up, and then starts piling garbage in the sink. I fucking hate people who let the garbage pile so high in the garbage can that it becomes a challenge to get the garbage bag out of the can without it spilling all over. Some people can't anticipate the consequences of their actions 5 seconds into the future.
jimple
+0 -1
okay he's done with the dishes now and he left the kitchen but he forgot the garbage bag just sitting there, ready to spill garbage all over as soon as one of the cats tears into it.
okay he's done with the dishes now and he left the kitchen but he forgot the garbage bag just sitting there, ready to spill garbage all over as soon as one of the cats tears into it.
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
gets u a twitter mang. all ima say
gets u a twitter mang. all ima say
jimple
+0 -2
fkn trsh all Ovr plce. fkn rmmate. gd dmn it!
no thanks I think I'll pass. I get what twitter is about, and it's great and all, but 140 characters is a compromise I'm not willing to make. The people who run twitter have shown themselves to be morons several times over. I'm sure a big part of why tweets are restricted to 140 characters has to do with them thinking that the reduced load associated with more brief tweets will somehow help them to maintain a centralized monopoly on the world's communications. Using twitter would be kinda like using any Microsoft product.
fkn trsh all Ovr plce. fkn rmmate. gd dmn it!
no thanks I think I'll pass. I get what twitter is about, and it's great and all, but 140 characters is a compromise I'm not willing to make. The people who run twitter have shown themselves to be morons several times over. I'm sure a big part of why tweets are restricted to 140 characters has to do with them thinking that the reduced load associated with more brief tweets will somehow help them to maintain a centralized monopoly on the world's communications. Using twitter would be kinda like using any Microsoft product.
jimple
+0 -1
I win! trsh tkn out by rmate! fker!
I win! trsh tkn out by rmate! fker!
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
man u is some crazy dood that shit is so bogus i dont even... wow w/e
man u is some crazy dood that shit is so bogus i dont even... wow w/e
wilto
+0 -0
"I feel H%u2026A%u2026P%u2026P%u2026Y%u2026"
"I feel H%u2026A%u2026P%u2026P%u2026Y%u2026"
wilto
+4 -0
Really, Assetbar? Not even an ellipsis?
Why you gotta hate
on UTF-8?
Really, Assetbar? Not even an ellipsis?
Why you gotta hate
on UTF-8?
shortrachael
+0 -0
A comment left by shortrachael was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Rhadamanthus, gladi8orrex, plummet, re5urgam, smilebuddha, mr-siegal)
A comment left by shortrachael was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Rhadamanthus, gladi8orrex, plummet, re5urgam, smilebuddha, mr-siegal)
gladi8orrex
+6 -2
i dont give a fuck what u feel might b hapnin' dogg u want it read it if not get teh fuck out he gona produce wat he does at teh quality it is n sum asshole wit a pig pic aint gonna do [b]SHIT{/b] to elp teh mans muse anyhow so u basically a waste o fuckin space.
got no sense o cre8ive process. pisses me off. lamed
i dont give a fuck what u feel might b hapnin' dogg u want it read it if not get teh fuck out he gona produce wat he does at teh quality it is n sum asshole wit a pig pic aint gonna do [b]SHIT{/b] to elp teh mans muse anyhow so u basically a waste o fuckin space.
got no sense o cre8ive process. pisses me off. lamed
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Maybe not.
Maybe not.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Ahhh! You have the best icon.
Ahhh! You have the best icon.
lucidz
+0 -0
Since I have been, to date, lately at least, a penultimate douche, and to be honest, I shall admit, I do not always understand the new comics, I accept that Chris Onstad is in fact, working, every day, on these comics, and as such, is deserving of respect.
Yay though I have not made a positive comment to whit, in these last 6 months, do I now say, Bravo Onstad.
I love thee again.
Since I have been, to date, lately at least, a penultimate douche, and to be honest, I shall admit, I do not always understand the new comics, I accept that Chris Onstad is in fact, working, every day, on these comics, and as such, is deserving of respect.
Yay though I have not made a positive comment to whit, in these last 6 months, do I now say, Bravo Onstad.
I love thee again.
philophobe
+13 -0
You know, if you don't know what 'penultimate' means, maybe it's better to just not use it.
You know, if you don't know what 'penultimate' means, maybe it's better to just not use it.
generalripper
+0 -0
"Inveterate douche" is more to the point.
"Inveterate douche" is more to the point.
salvar
+0 -0
But then he wouldn't be much of a douche, would he? He would be leading all of douchery into extinction. Like that book, The Last of the Douches. Or... maybe not quite the last , but...
But then he wouldn't be much of a douche, would he? He would be leading all of douchery into extinction. Like that book, The Last of the Douches. Or... maybe not quite the last , but...
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, parkerah, Prine, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, parkerah, Prine, I_Love_Kate)
daidai
+3 -0
yeah, bitch!
yeah, bitch!
farqussus
+0 -0
hence penultimate.
hence penultimate.
plummet
+0 -0
Also, the bigger asshole's WITTY, CUNNING REPARTEE will be chubbied over 9000 times
For you, there will only be lames. You will be so lame.
Also, the bigger asshole's WITTY, CUNNING REPARTEE will be chubbied over 9000 times
For you, there will only be lames. You will be so lame.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
ohhhh what a delliiightfuuuul breakdown of asssssetbar my dear boy jiiiimple! please regale us with more explanations of how WE operate !!
**sips nog, is pleased with self, wears fedora, has matrix figurines**
((**realizes fake self-effacing irony is a way to make your own, "IRL" self-hate seem a lot more misplaced**))
-christmas tears of a clown-
ohhhh what a delliiightfuuuul breakdown of asssssetbar my dear boy jiiiimple! please regale us with more explanations of how WE operate !!
**sips nog, is pleased with self, wears fedora, has matrix figurines**
((**realizes fake self-effacing irony is a way to make your own, "IRL" self-hate seem a lot more misplaced**))
-christmas tears of a clown-
jimple
+0 -1
shit I might be getting dumber in my old age or maybe I was never that smart to begin with but I have no idea what your sentence about irony and self-hate means. I feel like I'm a football player in an English 101 class.
shit I might be getting dumber in my old age or maybe I was never that smart to begin with but I have no idea what your sentence about irony and self-hate means. I feel like I'm a football player in an English 101 class.
daedala_x
+6 -0
let me point you towards some literature on the matter:
Discourse on Assetbar
To what extent can the entity%u2019s own self-hate be made known, that is, Knowable, to another entity, being-in-the-world or being-on-the-internet? The essence of self-effacement is inauthenticity; though one%u2019s fake self-effacement may render the act authentic, the irony of the situation turns the tides once more towards being an entity who just can%u2019t keep his shit real. Self-hate is not a lack of being, as it were, but an intentional negation of being which negates the nothing that applies it so unswervingly. To misplace self-hate is, then, the dislocation and discentering of a pure negativity which had never a location to begin with. If Jimple represents himself as Jimple, he is not Jimple. The being-in-itself of Jimple is precisely being what he is not. Jimple is neither real nor fake, nor can he be misplaced for he is situated everywhere and nowhere. Jimple is also a hippopotamus.
let me point you towards some literature on the matter:
Discourse on Assetbar
To what extent can the entity%u2019s own self-hate be made known, that is, Knowable, to another entity, being-in-the-world or being-on-the-internet? The essence of self-effacement is inauthenticity; though one%u2019s fake self-effacement may render the act authentic, the irony of the situation turns the tides once more towards being an entity who just can%u2019t keep his shit real. Self-hate is not a lack of being, as it were, but an intentional negation of being which negates the nothing that applies it so unswervingly. To misplace self-hate is, then, the dislocation and discentering of a pure negativity which had never a location to begin with. If Jimple represents himself as Jimple, he is not Jimple. The being-in-itself of Jimple is precisely being what he is not. Jimple is neither real nor fake, nor can he be misplaced for he is situated everywhere and nowhere. Jimple is also a hippopotamus.
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by parkerah, badlion, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by parkerah, badlion, I_Love_Kate)
daidai
+2 -0
quaquaquaqua
quaquaquaqua
re5urgam
+1 -0
Put your hat back on!
Put your hat back on!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Are you not done torturing me with your accursed assetbar??
Are you not done torturing me with your accursed assetbar??
myfirstpost
+0 -0
fuck THAT post
fuck THAT post
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Don't say cocaine ideas in here.
Don't say cocaine ideas in here.
badlion
+1 -0
Don't say cocain ideas on the internet Martin Hiedegger.
Don't say cocain ideas on the internet Martin Hiedegger.
wtfoxnews
+0 -0
here is tiniest of violins
here is tiniest of violins
taskmaster
+0 -0
Man way to go ahead and abuse the hell out of the common comma.
Comma, I want you to know that you don't have to bend over and take it like that. The other punctuation marks should be doing some work here, too.
Man way to go ahead and abuse the hell out of the common comma.
Comma, I want you to know that you don't have to bend over and take it like that. The other punctuation marks should be doing some work here, too.
doppelganger
+12 -0
Quote:
Yeah, that's a job for the colon.
Quote:
[Comma] you don't have to bend over and take it like that
Yeah, that's a job for the colon.
crom
+0 -0
Right in the ol' squinting modifier.
Right in the ol' squinting modifier.
taskmaster
+0 -0
I want you both to know that you win because of these comments. Hilarious.
I want you both to know that you win because of these comments. Hilarious.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
I see that beef has joined the Yokohama Pit Crew.
I see that beef has joined the Yokohama Pit Crew.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
An inferior tire unsuitable for an honest man's transport. Beef is obviously channeling Showbiz.
An inferior tire unsuitable for an honest man's transport. Beef is obviously channeling Showbiz.
asherdan
+1 -0
Angry faced beef with pit hair making the point?
Nice
Hope this kind of thing invigorates not only the brevity muscle but a few of the other creative sub groups for a better new year.
Angry faced beef with pit hair making the point?
Nice
Hope this kind of thing invigorates not only the brevity muscle but a few of the other creative sub groups for a better new year.
planetidiot
+2 -0
phillipe is six
phillipe is six
jeffspaulding
+30 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
This was supposed to be in response to the comment by lucidz above .
This was supposed to be in response to the comment by lucidz above .
deus
+0 -0
SO WRONG!
And yet SO RIGHT!
SO WRONG!
And yet SO RIGHT!
taskmaster
+0 -0
Best use of MS paint to honor Hitler ever
Best use of MS paint to honor Hitler ever
jeffspaulding
+16 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hamscout
+61 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
harpo
+11 -0
If I do say so myself; a beautifully rendered post.
If I do say so myself; a beautifully rendered post.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Bizarro Harpo!
Bizarro Harpo!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
you get a prize.(its my admiration)
you get a prize.(its my admiration)
smallberries
+0 -0
For a moment I thought my *Ignore User* settings had vanished when I saw user 52's avataricon.
I challenge you to do an Out-Of-Character Dr. Manflesh post ...
For a moment I thought my *Ignore User* settings had vanished when I saw user 52's avataricon.
I challenge you to do an Out-Of-Character Dr. Manflesh post ...
hamscout
+8 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
jeffspaulding
+14 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
smallberries
+1 -0
Good grief - you hit the ball out of the solar system.
Good grief - you hit the ball out of the solar system.
daedala_x
+0 -0
hamscout, i've said it once and i'll say it again, you are one brilliant sonofabitch.
someday i will come and mow your lawn, for a reasonable fee.
hamscout, i've said it once and i'll say it again, you are one brilliant sonofabitch.
someday i will come and mow your lawn, for a reasonable fee.
thegoblins
+4 -0
Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?
Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?
doppelganger
+0 -0
Watch out for the dry grass; you wouldn't want a flaming mow.
Watch out for the dry grass; you wouldn't want a flaming mow.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Hah, goblins beat me to it. Or as the old-timers I used to hang with on usenet acronym'd, oitwwcin? *
*Oh is that what we're calling it now(adays)
Hah, goblins beat me to it. Or as the old-timers I used to hang with on usenet acronym'd, oitwwcin? *
*Oh is that what we're calling it now(adays)
jimple
+1 -2
they don't pay by the word on usenet.
they don't pay by the word on usenet.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
but by the acronym.
but by the acronym.
deus
+0 -0
Well im just gonna leave this ONE post to say well done and not take up anymore of your time.
Well im just gonna leave this ONE post to say well done and not take up anymore of your time.
obeymydog
+9 -0
Here Onstad shows us what'd happen if Showbiz had been absorbed in the womb by Beef's superior fetus but survived as a sentient, car-obsessed brain tumor.
Here Onstad shows us what'd happen if Showbiz had been absorbed in the womb by Beef's superior fetus but survived as a sentient, car-obsessed brain tumor.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
so, i really love your avataricon
so, i really love your avataricon
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I bring you love!
I bring you love!
farqussus
+0 -0
Break its legs!
Break its legs!
stonecrab
+8 -0
In case anyone hasn't seen this yet: https://www.shmorky.com/achewoodtestb.swf
In case anyone hasn't seen this yet: https://www.shmorky.com/achewoodtestb.swf
re5urgam
+0 -1
Why are Ray's arms so floppy when he walks?
Why are Ray's arms so floppy when he walks?
missbee
+0 -0
He is always this way.
He is always this way.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I'm sorry; I seem to have offended you.
I'm sorry; I seem to have offended you.
missbee
+0 -0
Naw, man. I'm just saying.
Naw, man. I'm just saying.
re5urgam
+0 -0
You have to agree they are hell of floppy in that.
You have to agree they are hell of floppy in that.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It is ghetto-walking . Dr. Andretti recommended it.
It is ghetto-walking . Dr. Andretti recommended it.
missbee
+0 -0
Ok, maybe they're not always this way, but they are sometimes . Man, I didn't want to be an Cock to You. I am sorry.
Anyways, I find hell of floppy arms charming.
Ok, maybe they're not always this way, but they are sometimes . Man, I didn't want to be an Cock to You. I am sorry.
Anyways, I find hell of floppy arms charming.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Then you must love the "Queen of France."
[IMGS OFF]
Tip for the unhip: see Don Hertzfeldt's Rejected
Then you must love the "Queen of France."
[IMGS OFF]
Tip for the unhip: see Don Hertzfeldt's Rejected
missbee
+0 -0
I am In Love .
I am In Love .
re5urgam
+0 -0
I do love and have loved this for years, but I'm still not sold on Ray's arms being so floppy. I recognize the comic from which the animation came, but he is not such a floppy-armed dude (cat) in general. Yes, I will stop now.
I do love and have loved this for years, but I'm still not sold on Ray's arms being so floppy. I recognize the comic from which the animation came, but he is not such a floppy-armed dude (cat) in general. Yes, I will stop now.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I dunno, man. He's done it in a couple of strips, and Ramses apparently dislikes it as a characteristic of his, so it's at the very least an occasional bad habit.
I dunno, man. He's done it in a couple of strips, and Ramses apparently dislikes it as a characteristic of his, so it's at the very least an occasional bad habit.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
I could watch that over and over.
I could watch that over and over.
mockereo
+0 -0
did you do this?
did you do this?
stonecrab
+0 -0
No! I wish I could do this! Just something I found and wanted to share.
No! I wish I could do this! Just something I found and wanted to share.
plummet
+0 -0
oh my god dude
oh my god dude
deus
+0 -0
AAA!
THEY NAILED TODD RIGHT ON!
IM WATCHING THIS AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN!
AAA!
THEY NAILED TODD RIGHT ON!
IM WATCHING THIS AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
RRRRAAAAAAD! RRRRAAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!
RRRRAAAAAAD! RRRRAAAAAAAAAADDDD!!!
miaou
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
lexsenthur
+6 -0
WHADAYA *MEAN* WE'RE OUT OF THE ROAST BEEF?
WHADAYA *MEAN* WE'RE OUT OF THE ROAST BEEF?
gladi8orrex
+16 -0
WHERES TEH BEEF!?! lol
WHERES TEH BEEF!?! lol
pohlhoud
+0 -0
Try what i did. Only $10k up front.
Try what i did. Only $10k up front.
akadriver
+1 -0
is this a tattoo or an arrangement of hairs?
is this a tattoo or an arrangement of hairs?
anomalous3
+1 -0
Onstad is a man who clearly does not comprehend the pleasures of "peeling out".
Onstad is a man who clearly does not comprehend the pleasures of "peeling out".
agentstinky
+0 -0
The next one will be Teodor calling a conservative talk show.
The next one will be Teodor calling a conservative talk show.
puguglypress
+0 -0
and talking about "sheeple".
and talking about "sheeple".
cracklewater
+0 -0
Shouldn't he be a multi-millionaire in 2010, when the Onstar settlement comes through?
Shouldn't he be a multi-millionaire in 2010, when the Onstar settlement comes through?
nictusempra
+1 -1
He's been a multi-millionaire before.
He'll end up blowing all the money on music equipment that's "really going to get that band going," though, and then just let it all collect dust in the garage when he realizes he can't be bothered.
He's been a multi-millionaire before.
He'll end up blowing all the money on music equipment that's "really going to get that band going," though, and then just let it all collect dust in the garage when he realizes he can't be bothered.
cracklewater
+1 -0
When was Teodor a multi-millionaire? I remember him scrounging for rent on a number of occasions, but never living the high life.
Unless you count the mp3 of his ass on the internet which made him rich for one panel...
When was Teodor a multi-millionaire? I remember him scrounging for rent on a number of occasions, but never living the high life.
Unless you count the mp3 of his ass on the internet which made him rich for one panel...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Recall the fiery death trap that was Ray's Escalade as they rushed to save Beef from Cartilage Head, about two months ago.
Recall the fiery death trap that was Ray's Escalade as they rushed to save Beef from Cartilage Head, about two months ago.
cracklewater
+0 -0
That's what I meant by "the Onstar settlement". We haven't seen any of T-Bag's share of that "low eight-figure" pay-out.
If it was just Ray who stood to make the settlement-bucks, it would be hard to tell whther he'd received them or not.
Teodor's life should be transformed any minute ... NOW!
That's what I meant by "the Onstar settlement". We haven't seen any of T-Bag's share of that "low eight-figure" pay-out.
If it was just Ray who stood to make the settlement-bucks, it would be hard to tell whther he'd received them or not.
Teodor's life should be transformed any minute ... NOW!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I hadn't seen your first comment, mea culpa, friendo. But I bet we'll see either a) it never happen or b) it all squandered away through some horrible investment on someone's suggestion.
I hadn't seen your first comment, mea culpa, friendo. But I bet we'll see either a) it never happen or b) it all squandered away through some horrible investment on someone's suggestion.
tragicone
+0 -0
yokohama makes very good tires, or so forza 2 and pimp my ride have brought to my awareness.
yokohama makes very good tires, or so forza 2 and pimp my ride have brought to my awareness.
bradypalvarez
+0 -0
SOMEBODY POISONED THE WATER HOLE
SOMEBODY POISONED THE WATER HOLE
jeffspaulding
+9 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
carlyle
+1 -0
Oh! That is truly the limit!
Oh! That is truly the limit!
sherief
+0 -0
too sooooooon!
too sooooooon!
mensch
+0 -0
Goodnews Quote:
Challenge Quote:
Goodnews Quote:
For the new year, I'm exercising the long-atrophied Brevity Muscle.
Challenge Quote:
Do you have one, too?
awksedperl
+1 -0
No.
No.
jimple
+0 -0
so it's christmas and I want to share christmas with the other achewood fans on the fanflow but it keeps telling me that I am suspended from posting for the next 24 hours. then it will say 23 or 22 hours then it goes back to 24 hours. people keep giving me jeers and it keeps resetting my ban back to 24 hours.
I really hate the achewood people because they have banned me during christmas i mean that is pretty bad i mean it
so it's christmas and I want to share christmas with the other achewood fans on the fanflow but it keeps telling me that I am suspended from posting for the next 24 hours. then it will say 23 or 22 hours then it goes back to 24 hours. people keep giving me jeers and it keeps resetting my ban back to 24 hours.
I really hate the achewood people because they have banned me during christmas i mean that is pretty bad i mean it
jimple
+1 -1
all I want for Christmas is for the people who gave me jeers and lames to get cancer. not fatal cancer I'm not a monster I would be happy if it was just enough cancer to make them sorry.
all I want for Christmas is for the people who gave me jeers and lames to get cancer. not fatal cancer I'm not a monster I would be happy if it was just enough cancer to make them sorry.
farqussus
+0 -0
you are AIDS
merry christmas
you are AIDS
merry christmas
jimple
+0 -1
C:>Infect Charles Barkley_
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS ON THE COMIC FROM THE 22nd SO HERE IT IS AGAIN YOU SUMBAGS YOU MAGGOTS YOU CHEAP LOUSY FAGGOTS:
Merry Christmas, ya bastards.
I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS ON THE COMIC FROM THE 22nd SO HERE IT IS AGAIN YOU SUMBAGS YOU MAGGOTS YOU CHEAP LOUSY FAGGOTS:
Merry Christmas, ya bastards.
wic
+0 -0
Reading that I realized it's both Christmas and fuck you Friday.
Merry Christmas and fuck you.
Reading that I realized it's both Christmas and fuck you Friday.
Merry Christmas and fuck you.
plummet
+0 -0
Merry Fuckin' Christmas, fuckers.
Merry Fuckin' Christmas, fuckers.
mattylite
+0 -0
Happy Christmas your arse, I pray god it's our last.
Happy Christmas your arse, I pray god it's our last.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Finally someone!
Finally someone!
smilebuddha
+0 -0
If I may comment on not the strip, but on the general theme of today with words that are not my own, but meant in the same spirit of bonhomie:
Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.
He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
If I may comment on not the strip, but on the general theme of today with words that are not my own, but meant in the same spirit of bonhomie:
Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.
He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
plummet
+0 -2
>He had no further intercourse with Spirits
Dammit, I wish I was Jeffspaulding, I'd have something hilarious to say about this that would net me one hundred chubs.
>He had no further intercourse with Spirits
Dammit, I wish I was Jeffspaulding, I'd have something hilarious to say about this that would net me one hundred chubs.
re5urgam
+0 -0
But alas, alack, and woe.
But alas, alack, and woe.
plummet
+0 -0
i have retarded ideas about being funny on Assbar
i have retarded ideas about being funny on Assbar
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Intercourse with spirits could also mean sticking your dingus in some Tanqueray...then again, Tanqueray could one of the hookers underneath the El.
Oh why are you confusing my Christmas wishes?
Intercourse with spirits could also mean sticking your dingus in some Tanqueray...then again, Tanqueray could one of the hookers underneath the El.
Oh why are you confusing my Christmas wishes?
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I've heard of "whiskey dick," but that's ridiculous!
I've heard of "whiskey dick," but that's ridiculous!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What's a guy to do?
What's a guy to do?
plummet
+1 -0
I like to post on Assetbar
I'm glad that I found you!
I like to post on Assetbar
I'm glad that I found you!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:D
:D
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
having intercourse with a spirit would look like spontaneous ejaculation, pretty much...
having intercourse with a spirit would look like spontaneous ejaculation, pretty much...
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Thank you, that's eased my mind somewhat.
Thank you, that's eased my mind somewhat.
belgand
+0 -0
Ray Stantz clearly does not live upon the Total Abstinence Principle.
Ray Stantz clearly does not live upon the Total Abstinence Principle.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
A nod and a wink to your source material, belgand.
A nod and a wink to your source material, belgand.
tbtabby
+0 -0
Out of character...unless he just got back from performing an especially clever hack.
Out of character...unless he just got back from performing an especially clever hack.
herrfoto
+0 -0
I've finally read them all. I'm doing what I've planned and joined this madhouse;
MI/ke.
I've finally read them all. I'm doing what I've planned and joined this madhouse;
MI/ke.
jimple
+1 -1
You will need this if you wish assetbar to recognize that you have read enough strips to be allowed to make comments:
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
You will need this if you wish assetbar to recognize that you have read enough strips to be allowed to make comments:
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
herrfoto
+0 -0
Thank you Mr. Jimple! ('gave me 150).
Thank you Mr. Jimple! ('gave me 150).
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"Oh thank god I now have assetbar prestige with a whole 159 viewed strips"
I don't think anyone gives a shit, just fyi. I read all the strips before I got an account, then reread them a few times since, as I bet many here have.
"Oh thank god I now have assetbar prestige with a whole 159 viewed strips"
I don't think anyone gives a shit, just fyi. I read all the strips before I got an account, then reread them a few times since, as I bet many here have.
jimple
+0 -1
Well, Mr. Dumas, if you want to be able to make more than one comment per strip, then your account has to have 'read' somewhere around 100 strips or whatever it is.
so to the extent that people want to participate in assetbar, they do give a shit.
but if you don't give a shit, then by all means, go ahead and register a new account and see how you like it.
Well, Mr. Dumas, if you want to be able to make more than one comment per strip, then your account has to have 'read' somewhere around 100 strips or whatever it is.
so to the extent that people want to participate in assetbar, they do give a shit.
but if you don't give a shit, then by all means, go ahead and register a new account and see how you like it.
jimple
+0 -1
or in other words, why don't you go receive fellatio from a maggot infested severed pig's head.
or in other words, why don't you go receive fellatio from a maggot infested severed pig's head.
jimple
+0 -1
while your mom video tapes
while your mom video tapes
jimple
+0 -1
using a crappy betamax video camera
using a crappy betamax video camera
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I envisioned a shitty camera phone.
I envisioned a shitty camera phone.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
gently weeps*
gently weeps*
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Golding meets Zombie.
Golding meets Zombie.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You know you can read the first 100 strips in an hour or so anyway, and if you're someone like me who doesn't have much else to do the day after Christmas, then that shouldn't be a problem.
You know you can read the first 100 strips in an hour or so anyway, and if you're someone like me who doesn't have much else to do the day after Christmas, then that shouldn't be a problem.
jimple
+0 -1
you have difficulty with technical ideas... you must be a product of the American educational system.
you have difficulty with technical ideas... you must be a product of the American educational system.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No, I think I'm doing alright, thanks for the input though.
No, I think I'm doing alright, thanks for the input though.
jimple
+0 -1
it's either you or us who is not understanding the technical detail of what's going on with the 'strips viewed' parameter.
it's either you or us who is not understanding the technical detail of what's going on with the 'strips viewed' parameter.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You told me you need 100 or so strips read to comment more than once. I accepted that and said well it doesn't take long to read them so who cares, most people read them over anyway. So "technical ideas" don't enter into it. It's more a question of comprehension. But it really doesn't matter in the end, so let's just drop it.
You told me you need 100 or so strips read to comment more than once. I accepted that and said well it doesn't take long to read them so who cares, most people read them over anyway. So "technical ideas" don't enter into it. It's more a question of comprehension. But it really doesn't matter in the end, so let's just drop it.
jimple
+0 -1
no, technically, if you've read 100 strips, but you weren't technically logged into assetbar at the time, like maybe you technically hadn't already created an assetbar account BEFORE you read all them strips, then technically after you create an account, now you technically have to read them strips all over again, and while I technically agree with you that it won't take long to read them all over again, I do have to ask you if, technically speaking, you are suggesting to actually read the strips, or to only technically read them, that is to say, barely glance at them as you click "next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next " and if this is case I have to ask technically what the difference is between this and my technical contraption which technically 'reads' strips for you...
no, technically, if you've read 100 strips, but you weren't technically logged into assetbar at the time, like maybe you technically hadn't already created an assetbar account BEFORE you read all them strips, then technically after you create an account, now you technically have to read them strips all over again, and while I technically agree with you that it won't take long to read them all over again, I do have to ask you if, technically speaking, you are suggesting to actually read the strips, or to only technically read them, that is to say, barely glance at them as you click "next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next " and if this is case I have to ask technically what the difference is between this and my technical contraption which technically 'reads' strips for you...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Maybe it's just me but reading the strips, getting an account, then a few days later reading the first year or so doesn't seem to be too taxing on the mind. Have you seen the first year or so? It takes literally no time. It's seriously not a big deal.
Maybe it's just me but reading the strips, getting an account, then a few days later reading the first year or so doesn't seem to be too taxing on the mind. Have you seen the first year or so? It takes literally no time. It's seriously not a big deal.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Meaning, yes, I suggest reading the three panel, fifteen word first year's worth of comics. If you care enough to post on a forum about Achewood, it shouldn't be a problem.
Meaning, yes, I suggest reading the three panel, fifteen word first year's worth of comics. If you care enough to post on a forum about Achewood, it shouldn't be a problem.
jimple
+0 -1
ahhh... autocracy - the spice of life!
ahhh... autocracy - the spice of life!
jimple
+0 -1
wow, when you watch the TV reporters interview someone, sometimes they have really poor bedside manner. it's like, our tv reporters are kinda brainless here in the US. it usually works okay when they interview average brainless us citizen, but when the interview someone who has clue then you kinda start to notice the mismatch.
wow, when you watch the TV reporters interview someone, sometimes they have really poor bedside manner. it's like, our tv reporters are kinda brainless here in the US. it usually works okay when they interview average brainless us citizen, but when the interview someone who has clue then you kinda start to notice the mismatch.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
truth.
btw dint no u was aiu bro til now lol dang hard 2 keeps up suntines wit u lol
truth.
btw dint no u was aiu bro til now lol dang hard 2 keeps up suntines wit u lol
jimple
+0 -1
hee hee I'm like a ninja ninja-like creeping in the dark, setting up humorous pranks
hee hee I'm like a ninja ninja-like creeping in the dark, setting up humorous pranks
jimple
+0 -1
so yeah, there is some rule now that says people are not allowed to leave their seats on most airplane flights anymore...
...If it's not safe enough to allow people to use the restroom, then I'm thinking it's probably not safe to allow people on planes in the first place...
so yeah, there is some rule now that says people are not allowed to leave their seats on most airplane flights anymore...
...If it's not safe enough to allow people to use the restroom, then I'm thinking it's probably not safe to allow people on planes in the first place...
catgrl131
+0 -0
Good story, man. You should tell it at parties.
Good story, man. You should tell it at parties.
jimple
+1 -1
no no I shouldn't have told it at all, in telling it I am using up precious bandwidth which detracts from the original and creative banter from peeple like you.
no no I shouldn't have told it at all, in telling it I am using up precious bandwidth which detracts from the original and creative banter from peeple like you.
re5urgam
+0 -0
Thought I'd share
[IMGS OFF]
Thought I'd share
[IMGS OFF]
jimple
+0 -1
15517 is a special number? dobrobber is a... king of the hill reference? or is it from that show with the talking dog?
15517 is a special number? dobrobber is a... king of the hill reference? or is it from that show with the talking dog?
jimple
+0 -1
oh... it looks like the guy is holding the duck...
cute
oh... it looks like the guy is holding the duck...
cute
jimple
+0 -1
the duck and the guy are both happy to see each other
the duck and the guy are both happy to see each other
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
wish my gf was like that duck. jesus christ dont even wannan twok abot it
wish my gf was like that duck. jesus christ dont even wannan twok abot it
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i wish you didnt have lady problems, bro.
i wish you didnt have lady problems, bro.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the worst part about not having a girlfriend is automatically having to leave the campsite on your lonesome.
the worst part about not having a girlfriend is automatically having to leave the campsite on your lonesome.
belgand
+0 -0
How did you know I spent the past weekend Swing Camping?
There's a couple that posts on Craiglist about this occasionally.
How did you know I spent the past weekend Swing Camping?
There's a couple that posts on Craiglist about this occasionally.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
which city?
which city?
belgand
+0 -0
San Francisco, of course.
The girl is fairly attractive and the sort to post not only nude pictures of herself, but also ones of her straight-up getting stuffed. It's a weird progression: normal clothed picture, lady in a bikini, lady cavorting about playfully nude on the beach, lady riding a dude's hog like it is the most important thing she is planning on doing all weekend.
Still, they are soliciting other people to go camping and fucking with them. I ain't got no problem with that at all.
San Francisco, of course.
The girl is fairly attractive and the sort to post not only nude pictures of herself, but also ones of her straight-up getting stuffed. It's a weird progression: normal clothed picture, lady in a bikini, lady cavorting about playfully nude on the beach, lady riding a dude's hog like it is the most important thing she is planning on doing all weekend.
Still, they are soliciting other people to go camping and fucking with them. I ain't got no problem with that at all.
re5urgam
+0 -0
There are very few things more important than riding a dude's hog all weekend.
There are very few things more important than riding a dude's hog all weekend.
belgand
+0 -0
I never hoped to suggest otherwise. Some ladies, however, can give the impression that they regard it as little more than a way to while away an idle twenty minutes after brunch.
I never hoped to suggest otherwise. Some ladies, however, can give the impression that they regard it as little more than a way to while away an idle twenty minutes after brunch.
jimple
+0 -0
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ozacrot, daidai, fattypneumonia, peterjoel, I_Love_Kate, Nictusempra)
A comment left by jimple was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ozacrot, daidai, fattypneumonia, peterjoel, I_Love_Kate, Nictusempra)
mockereo
+1 -0
i'm so glad this oversized image was too big for the dick to show up without scrolling over. It saved me, from itself.
i'm so glad this oversized image was too big for the dick to show up without scrolling over. It saved me, from itself.
jimple
+0 -1
so I have noticed that there are two kinds of people in this world... people who can plan, and people who can't.
people who can't plan are kinda annoying in lots of ways. one of the ways that these people are annoying is as such:
Example 1)
when a person becomes aware of some amount of icky matter, say, a huge-ass oil leak on the drive way...
the person who can plan will probably not wind up with clothing, carpet, sheets, etc, contaminated with oil in large or small quantities.
the person who can not plan, however, will walk in the oil, will then walk on the carpet with the shoes that are covered in oil, will then lay on the carpet, getting the oil on their clothes, etc...
used motor oil only causes cancer, smells nasty, etc. it's really sad, when you think about it, how some poor baby will have to play on a carpet with significant amounts of used motor oil, simply because one or both of her parents can't plan. then later on when the baby dies of leukemia, the parents probably still can't connect the dots. sad indeed.
example 2
your hands are bathed in gasoline because you've been working on getting your snow blower running. you had to pour gasoline in the carb, you had to replace the spark plug, and so on. you come in the kitchen and.... you need to take a pot out of the oven... do you... A) go ahead an put your gasoline and oil soaked hands into the oven mitts and take the pot out of the oven so that in the future, whenever you put on the oven mitts, you are getting gasoline and oil on your fingers? or... do you... B) take care not to get the oil and gasoline all the fuck over the place?
If you are one of those people who can't plan, then the answer is absolutely not the latter.
you know, I'm starting to think that Hitler wasn't too far off the ball with this Eugenics thing.
We've lowered the educational standards of our high schools to the point where everyone can graduate. It ought to be tougher... there ought to be some minimum standards. if you don't graduate, we kill you. simple as that. None of this sterilization bullshit... fuck that. the problem isn't genetics so much as it is learning and culture. it's not enough that dumbass people be prevented from having kids. they need to be prevented from existing as soon as they are found out.
man I tell ya. fucking fucking fucking stupid people. kill 'em all.
so I have noticed that there are two kinds of people in this world... people who can plan, and people who can't.
people who can't plan are kinda annoying in lots of ways. one of the ways that these people are annoying is as such:
Example 1)
when a person becomes aware of some amount of icky matter, say, a huge-ass oil leak on the drive way...
the person who can plan will probably not wind up with clothing, carpet, sheets, etc, contaminated with oil in large or small quantities.
the person who can not plan, however, will walk in the oil, will then walk on the carpet with the shoes that are covered in oil, will then lay on the carpet, getting the oil on their clothes, etc...
used motor oil only causes cancer, smells nasty, etc. it's really sad, when you think about it, how some poor baby will have to play on a carpet with significant amounts of used motor oil, simply because one or both of her parents can't plan. then later on when the baby dies of leukemia, the parents probably still can't connect the dots. sad indeed.
example 2
your hands are bathed in gasoline because you've been working on getting your snow blower running. you had to pour gasoline in the carb, you had to replace the spark plug, and so on. you come in the kitchen and.... you need to take a pot out of the oven... do you... A) go ahead an put your gasoline and oil soaked hands into the oven mitts and take the pot out of the oven so that in the future, whenever you put on the oven mitts, you are getting gasoline and oil on your fingers? or... do you... B) take care not to get the oil and gasoline all the fuck over the place?
If you are one of those people who can't plan, then the answer is absolutely not the latter.
you know, I'm starting to think that Hitler wasn't too far off the ball with this Eugenics thing.
We've lowered the educational standards of our high schools to the point where everyone can graduate. It ought to be tougher... there ought to be some minimum standards. if you don't graduate, we kill you. simple as that. None of this sterilization bullshit... fuck that. the problem isn't genetics so much as it is learning and culture. it's not enough that dumbass people be prevented from having kids. they need to be prevented from existing as soon as they are found out.
man I tell ya. fucking fucking fucking stupid people. kill 'em all.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
jimple
+0 -1
wow - how did you know that my roommate is black?
wow - how did you know that my roommate is black?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
So "early next week" means...
So "early next week" means...
stereo
+0 -0
January 4th.
January 4th.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Seems about right. The day before I leave for Scotland :0:o:0:o
Seems about right. The day before I leave for Scotland :0:o:0:o
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
it's fucking christmas you asshole ahve som consideration teh man as a f'n family you selfish shit-stain
it's fucking christmas you asshole ahve som consideration teh man as a f'n family you selfish shit-stain
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Then he shouldn't say he's gonna post early next week.
Then he shouldn't say he's gonna post early next week.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
fuck you. he planned 2 an shit came up the fucks wrong with you? goddamn people r so fuckin inconsider8 n stupid. pisses me off
fuck you. he planned 2 an shit came up the fucks wrong with you? goddamn people r so fuckin inconsider8 n stupid. pisses me off
ratacat
+0 -0
nice-o-w trolled gladi8orrex hard
nice-o-w trolled gladi8orrex hard
nice-on-water
+0 -0
>B0 u no it babbeeeeee lool
>B0 u no it babbeeeeee lool
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh Gladi. Gladi gladi gladi. I know you're just doing your thing but I can't resist so let me just...he pulls this ALL the time. It's not just shit coming up if it comes up every time he posts a schedule. Now today I see he's been working on a New Years strip, which is fine. If he's doing a somewhat large strip, fine, but he could've let us known like Tuesday or so. "Early week thing not panning out; working on a New Year's strip." All it takes.
Oh Gladi. Gladi gladi gladi. I know you're just doing your thing but I can't resist so let me just...he pulls this ALL the time. It's not just shit coming up if it comes up every time he posts a schedule. Now today I see he's been working on a New Years strip, which is fine. If he's doing a somewhat large strip, fine, but he could've let us known like Tuesday or so. "Early week thing not panning out; working on a New Year's strip." All it takes.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
he aint gotta tell you eery lil fuckin thing he doin dude is busy just relax he gona post a strip whenever not like he aint. goddamn
he aint gotta tell you eery lil fuckin thing he doin dude is busy just relax he gona post a strip whenever not like he aint. goddamn
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'd prefer he didn't post the always-wrong updates, actually.
I'd prefer he didn't post the always-wrong updates, actually.
yearofglad
+3 -0
Holiday party at Onstad's. Family (extended and non-), friends, colleagues gather around the eggnog, the Christmas goose, the roaring fire. There is good cheer, there is merrymaking, there is the joy.
However, Mrs. Onstad wears a smile that is far from authentic, a mask of bonhomie over a visage of regret. She leaves, the celebration, walks into the doorway of her husband's study. There he sits, back to the door, does not acknowledge her. Empty coffee cups and overflowing ashtrays surround his workstation. He hasn't slept for days, racking his brain for something, anything.
She understands. He must finish this strip, must finish it for nice-on-water. A single tear runs down her cheek, and she goes back to the party. She knows what must be done, just wishes it wasn't so painful to watch.
Holiday party at Onstad's. Family (extended and non-), friends, colleagues gather around the eggnog, the Christmas goose, the roaring fire. There is good cheer, there is merrymaking, there is the joy.
However, Mrs. Onstad wears a smile that is far from authentic, a mask of bonhomie over a visage of regret. She leaves, the celebration, walks into the doorway of her husband's study. There he sits, back to the door, does not acknowledge her. Empty coffee cups and overflowing ashtrays surround his workstation. He hasn't slept for days, racking his brain for something, anything.
She understands. He must finish this strip, must finish it for nice-on-water. A single tear runs down her cheek, and she goes back to the party. She knows what must be done, just wishes it wasn't so painful to watch.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh fuck off, you know that's not at all what I meant. Also: TROLL.
Oh fuck off, you know that's not at all what I meant. Also: TROLL.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
I just gave you your first chubby. Enjoy the hell out of it. Happy New Year to all!
I just gave you your first chubby. Enjoy the hell out of it. Happy New Year to all!
ratacat
+1 -0
(12-29) 12:30 Traverse City, Michigan (AP) --
Internet postings purportedly written by a Michigan man charged with trying to incite a bombing of an obscure internet message board on Christmas Day suggest a fervently religious and lonely young man who fantasized about becoming a 4chan holy warrior.
Throughout more than 9000 posts, a user named "AIU1986" reflects on a growing alienation from his family, his shame over sexual urges and his hopes that a "great war against idiots" will take place across the world.
While officials haven't verified that the postings were written by AIU, details from the posts match his personal history.
For example, the username also matches the alleged mastermind's middle name and birth year. AIU1986 says he is from Michigan, the home state of the man who allegedly tried to bring down the California-based message board. And the suspect's father says AIU broke off ties with the family.
Those posts, beginning in 2005, show a teenager looking for a new life outside his boarding school and wealthy Michigan family.
Most of all, they paint a portrait of someone who seems lost and needs someone to hear him.
The postings seem hastily written and are replete with spelling and grammar errors. In one, on Jan 28, 2005, he wrote: "i am in a situation where i do not have a friend, i have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and i feel depressed and lonely. i do not know what to do."
The posts were made to a 4chan bulletin board and repeatedly invoke the 'Chocolate Rain' meme, something which is beyond the scope of this article and may be literally impossible to explain.
U.S. government officials had no immediate comment.
CBS News first reported on the postings Monday evening. The messages could not be independently verified.
AIU1986 discussed growing up and preparing to leave his boarding school in the state of Michigan for college, which also matches AIU 's personal history. However, educational pursuits appear to be overtaken by a growing fascination with 4chan, with posts going so far as to describe his own fantasies about masturbation.
"I imagine how the great war against idiots will take place, how the 4chans will win, insha Onstad and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again!!!" reads one Feb. 20, 2005, post. The words "insha Onstad" are the phonetic translation of a 4chan meme which roughly means "God willing."
"So usually my fa(n)tasies are about 4chan stuff," he continued. "The bad part of it is sometimes the fantasies are a bit worldly rather than concentrating in the hereafter."
On Jan. 28, 2005, AIU1986 said he was writing from his van, and that he was learning hacking from the janitor at his school. Administrators at the school said Monday that its director, has spent two days being questioned by Homeland security officials. He remained in custody Tuesday.
AIU1986 was enthusiastic and described parts of Michigan as being traditional and quiet and other parts bustling, with Western fast-food restaurants, amusement parks and gyms.
"Its quite cheap too," the writer gushed. "Michigonians are so friendly and welcoming."
Michigan's state government said AIU lived in the state for two different periods, a year from 2004-2005 and from August-December this year.
On Tuesday, Michigan Information Minister Derrick Gragg told reporters that AIU told his parents he wanted to study elite hacking only a few months ago, something his father said he couldn't do. AIU responded by sending a text message from a Skype phone number saying he never would talk to his family again, Gragg said.
In a series of exchanges which coincide with AIU 's final year of high school in 2005, the writer also discusses his conflict between attending his high school prom and being a good 4chan member. He has exchanges with other posters about proper 4chan dress, modern movies, marriage and his desire to learn elite hacking.
In another posting, AIU1986 describes how alone he feels and acknowledges feeling lust, chastising himself for not lowering his gaze around underage women. At another point, he warns how "the hair of a woman can easily arouse a man." He writes that he was considering getting married to someone younger than 18, and that his family "could help me financially." AIU 's father is a prominent Michigan banker, but nothing apparently came of his marriage wishes.
Instead, AIU1986 wrote that he embraced 4chan.
"I felt a shield that prevented evil thoughts coming into my head," he wrote. "I felt closer to Onstad."
Still, some of AIU1986's writings offer a hopeful tone. He writes about expecting to get over his loneliness when he attends university classes and joins 4chan groups. He discusses television and football, but at one point gets upset after another person posts a sarcastic remark about sports loyalties.
"I had butterflies going through my stomach reading that," AIU1986 wrote. "I acted hypocritically? May Onstad forgive me for that. I'm very sorry. Now i feel all bad. Maybe its time to say bye bye to this thread. I'm sorry if i offended anyone. Please all should forgive me."
(12-29) 12:30 Traverse City, Michigan (AP) --
Internet postings purportedly written by a Michigan man charged with trying to incite a bombing of an obscure internet message board on Christmas Day suggest a fervently religious and lonely young man who fantasized about becoming a 4chan holy warrior.
Throughout more than 9000 posts, a user named "AIU1986" reflects on a growing alienation from his family, his shame over sexual urges and his hopes that a "great war against idiots" will take place across the world.
While officials haven't verified that the postings were written by AIU, details from the posts match his personal history.
For example, the username also matches the alleged mastermind's middle name and birth year. AIU1986 says he is from Michigan, the home state of the man who allegedly tried to bring down the California-based message board. And the suspect's father says AIU broke off ties with the family.
Those posts, beginning in 2005, show a teenager looking for a new life outside his boarding school and wealthy Michigan family.
Most of all, they paint a portrait of someone who seems lost and needs someone to hear him.
The postings seem hastily written and are replete with spelling and grammar errors. In one, on Jan 28, 2005, he wrote: "i am in a situation where i do not have a friend, i have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and i feel depressed and lonely. i do not know what to do."
The posts were made to a 4chan bulletin board and repeatedly invoke the 'Chocolate Rain' meme, something which is beyond the scope of this article and may be literally impossible to explain.
U.S. government officials had no immediate comment.
CBS News first reported on the postings Monday evening. The messages could not be independently verified.
AIU1986 discussed growing up and preparing to leave his boarding school in the state of Michigan for college, which also matches AIU 's personal history. However, educational pursuits appear to be overtaken by a growing fascination with 4chan, with posts going so far as to describe his own fantasies about masturbation.
"I imagine how the great war against idiots will take place, how the 4chans will win, insha Onstad and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again!!!" reads one Feb. 20, 2005, post. The words "insha Onstad" are the phonetic translation of a 4chan meme which roughly means "God willing."
"So usually my fa(n)tasies are about 4chan stuff," he continued. "The bad part of it is sometimes the fantasies are a bit worldly rather than concentrating in the hereafter."
On Jan. 28, 2005, AIU1986 said he was writing from his van, and that he was learning hacking from the janitor at his school. Administrators at the school said Monday that its director, has spent two days being questioned by Homeland security officials. He remained in custody Tuesday.
AIU1986 was enthusiastic and described parts of Michigan as being traditional and quiet and other parts bustling, with Western fast-food restaurants, amusement parks and gyms.
"Its quite cheap too," the writer gushed. "Michigonians are so friendly and welcoming."
Michigan's state government said AIU lived in the state for two different periods, a year from 2004-2005 and from August-December this year.
On Tuesday, Michigan Information Minister Derrick Gragg told reporters that AIU told his parents he wanted to study elite hacking only a few months ago, something his father said he couldn't do. AIU responded by sending a text message from a Skype phone number saying he never would talk to his family again, Gragg said.
In a series of exchanges which coincide with AIU 's final year of high school in 2005, the writer also discusses his conflict between attending his high school prom and being a good 4chan member. He has exchanges with other posters about proper 4chan dress, modern movies, marriage and his desire to learn elite hacking.
In another posting, AIU1986 describes how alone he feels and acknowledges feeling lust, chastising himself for not lowering his gaze around underage women. At another point, he warns how "the hair of a woman can easily arouse a man." He writes that he was considering getting married to someone younger than 18, and that his family "could help me financially." AIU 's father is a prominent Michigan banker, but nothing apparently came of his marriage wishes.
Instead, AIU1986 wrote that he embraced 4chan.
"I felt a shield that prevented evil thoughts coming into my head," he wrote. "I felt closer to Onstad."
Still, some of AIU1986's writings offer a hopeful tone. He writes about expecting to get over his loneliness when he attends university classes and joins 4chan groups. He discusses television and football, but at one point gets upset after another person posts a sarcastic remark about sports loyalties.
"I had butterflies going through my stomach reading that," AIU1986 wrote. "I acted hypocritically? May Onstad forgive me for that. I'm very sorry. Now i feel all bad. Maybe its time to say bye bye to this thread. I'm sorry if i offended anyone. Please all should forgive me."
wootcannon
+1 -0
Obsession, by Assetbar
Obsession, by Assetbar
plummet
+0 -0
>Mentioning 4chan on Assetbar
Oh wow, we're actually doin' this.
WE'RE DOIN' IT, MAN!
>Mentioning 4chan on Assetbar
Oh wow, we're actually doin' this.
WE'RE DOIN' IT, MAN!
ratacat
+0 -0
a propos de rien, I heard they're developing a new line of TB resistant anti-biotics...
a propos de rien, I heard they're developing a new line of TB resistant anti-biotics...
ratacat
+0 -0
well I have some sort of nasty bronchial infection going on and one of my concerns is that one of my cats may try to sample from my spit glass. They are in the habit of finding a few drops of milk at the bottom of glasses that I leave laying around.
well I have some sort of nasty bronchial infection going on and one of my concerns is that one of my cats may try to sample from my spit glass. They are in the habit of finding a few drops of milk at the bottom of glasses that I leave laying around.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Milk? What would your avatar have to say about that?
Milk? What would your avatar have to say about that?
ratacat
+0 -0
...it's a code word for whiskey?
...it's a code word for whiskey?
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Scotch, surely?
Scotch, surely?
ratacat
+0 -0
shit. I should have signed up with username ratacatcat. oh well. too lazy now to change it.
shit. I should have signed up with username ratacatcat. oh well. too lazy now to change it.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
sorry, Onstad. sorry, Munroe.
[IMGS OFF]
sorry, Onstad. sorry, Munroe.
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
Given a little more spare time, I've got an animation I wanna try, but here's two quickies.
First, one of my fav Beef lines ever:
[IMGS OFF]
Given a little more spare time, I've got an animation I wanna try, but here's two quickies.
First, one of my fav Beef lines ever:
[IMGS OFF]
fattypneumonia
+1 -0
And, a little misplaced retro anger:
[IMGS OFF]
And, a little misplaced retro anger:
[IMGS OFF]
Comment left by keylimepie ignored.