deus
+1 -1
Beef and Molly are working things out...slowly....slowly...
Beef and Molly are working things out...slowly....slowly...
scorpio_nadir
+4 -0
Molly rockin' some survivor's hate in a 4 star restaurant.
(It's on the women's hidden menu)
Molly rockin' some survivor's hate in a 4 star restaurant.
(It's on the women's hidden menu)
smallberries
+4 -0
Molly (with infinite patience for her damaged man of Circumstance) should pack a ziplock bag of Cheerios for her overgrown baby at restaurants. Also if Herr Onstad uses RB to express his own ennui ... prepare for cat-divorce in Acheworld.
Molly (with infinite patience for her damaged man of Circumstance) should pack a ziplock bag of Cheerios for her overgrown baby at restaurants. Also if Herr Onstad uses RB to express his own ennui ... prepare for cat-divorce in Acheworld.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ever think that's why he moved?
ever think that's why he moved?
ratacat
+0 -0
what? holy shit. no way.
what? holy shit. no way.
goldhat
+0 -0
That explains the PO Box
That explains the PO Box
faits
+0 -0
onstad's wife is the one who suggested he try 'working small' (the impetus for the hilarious mini-comics posted first on the subscriber side and then here)
onstad's wife is the one who suggested he try 'working small' (the impetus for the hilarious mini-comics posted first on the subscriber side and then here)
mensch
+13 -0
Yeah, she's used to him "working small."
Yeah, she's used to him "working small."
i_love_kate
+1 -0
HEY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
HEY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
nice-on-water
+0 -0
DATS SOME PENIS JOKE RIGHT DERE!
DATS SOME PENIS JOKE RIGHT DERE!
puguglypress
+0 -0
He married an Asian chick cuz he heard they were okay with small ones.
He married an Asian chick cuz he heard they were okay with small ones.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Nah, no way.
Nah, no way.
vermy
+0 -0
Wow, a post vaguely critical of Beef that hasn't been lamebombed yet?
Good show sir, good show.
Wow, a post vaguely critical of Beef that hasn't been lamebombed yet?
Good show sir, good show.
hatstand_mcq
+6 -0
Roast Beef is acting pretty high for for someone who is acting so low.
Roast Beef is acting pretty high for for someone who is acting so low.
onegoodmonkey
+3 -1
I've caught myself doing this: I think I'm just riffing and being hilarious, but really I'm complaining incessantly and being an asshole.
I've caught myself doing this: I think I'm just riffing and being hilarious, but really I'm complaining incessantly and being an asshole.
granularsilica
+1 -0
Too into yourself, that's the problem. Get some feedback from others. For instance: Yes, you are being an asshole.
Too into yourself, that's the problem. Get some feedback from others. For instance: Yes, you are being an asshole.
onegoodmonkey
+2 -0
Thanks, man.
Thanks, man.
snowman
+0 -0
This is my thing.
This is my thing.
r1pp3r
+0 -0
"They see me rollin', they hatin"
"They see me rollin', they hatin"
ratacat
+0 -0
so I think this is a gladi8orrex sock puppet
so I think this is a gladi8orrex sock puppet
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Oh man, I meant to chubby you. Sorry.
I do the same thing. Tongue-in-cheek humor just comes across as "blubbering vagina" when I try to pull it off.
Oh man, I meant to chubby you. Sorry.
I do the same thing. Tongue-in-cheek humor just comes across as "blubbering vagina" when I try to pull it off.
farqussus
+1 -0
I've seen blubbering vagina. It's a killer. For two dollars a day you can help eradicate blubbering vagina from these villages who otherwise would never get the medicine they need.
I've seen blubbering vagina. It's a killer. For two dollars a day you can help eradicate blubbering vagina from these villages who otherwise would never get the medicine they need.
i_love_kate
+8 -0
A BLOOO BLOOO BLA BLOOOOOOO
A BLOOO BLOOO BLA BLOOOOOOO
gormster
+0 -0
aaand now I have the most horrific mental image ever conceived by man. Thanks, i_love_kate.
aaand now I have the most horrific mental image ever conceived by man. Thanks, i_love_kate.
ratacat
+0 -0
it would be cool if instead of giving someone a chubby, we could give them a vag.
Rate this Comment: Vaginate Lame Mark as Spam *Ignore User* [unread]
it would be cool if instead of giving someone a chubby, we could give them a vag.
Rate this Comment: Vaginate Lame Mark as Spam *Ignore User* [unread]
farqussus
+0 -0
i dunno, vaginate just makes me think of smearing something with vegemite. Smearing something with thick yeasty paste.. hey, it is the same after all!
i dunno, vaginate just makes me think of smearing something with vegemite. Smearing something with thick yeasty paste.. hey, it is the same after all!
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Shivering anus!
Shivering anus!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Don't we all? I didn't think about it till I read this comment but it's considered assholic if you're bare minimum Snarky for at least thirty seconds of speaking time, and I know I usually maintain a two minute SnarkyPlus (UK users, see: SnideMaxx).
Don't we all? I didn't think about it till I read this comment but it's considered assholic if you're bare minimum Snarky for at least thirty seconds of speaking time, and I know I usually maintain a two minute SnarkyPlus (UK users, see: SnideMaxx).
aperson
+9 -0
The implicit FYF.
Hell of nuanced.
The implicit FYF.
Hell of nuanced.
shinkusan
+1 -0
Not gonna lie, was kinda hoping someone SAID "Fuck You" at least once. But it was still entertaining. Especially Catholic Strategy Gus.
Not gonna lie, was kinda hoping someone SAID "Fuck You" at least once. But it was still entertaining. Especially Catholic Strategy Gus.
lordparadise
+4 -0
It isn't just a profanity, it's a state of mind. Also a day of the week.
It isn't just a profanity, it's a state of mind. Also a day of the week.
dougthehead
+0 -0
One of Beef's gastrointestinal nightmares was conceived when he played his standard toilet-cobra nightmare backwards in his head.
One of Beef's gastrointestinal nightmares was conceived when he played his standard toilet-cobra nightmare backwards in his head.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Hey you G.I. you all wanna get Seven-kinky Numbah 2 wi' me? It Tonight's Special!
Hey you G.I. you all wanna get Seven-kinky Numbah 2 wi' me? It Tonight's Special!
lolsworth
+13 -0
"I hate you in the only way that helps me understand you."
Eight times more insight and truth than an entire shelf of relationship self-help books in Waterstones
"I hate you in the only way that helps me understand you."
Eight times more insight and truth than an entire shelf of relationship self-help books in Waterstones
granularsilica
+0 -0
True, so true.
True, so true.
onegoodmonkey
+1 -0
It's a measure of how much I care about these characters that it hurt a bit inside to read that Molly "hates" Beef even marginally... but it's so real.
It's a measure of how much I care about these characters that it hurt a bit inside to read that Molly "hates" Beef even marginally... but it's so real.
gorrioncita
+1 -2
it's really vindicating to think molly finds beef as insufferable as i do. hurry and get out molly~
it's really vindicating to think molly finds beef as insufferable as i do. hurry and get out molly~
ratacat
+0 -0
insufferable? How so? And even if Beef might not be the ideal partner, what of Molly? It seems like Molly never really developed into a character, she has simply always been a foil for Beef. Who wants to marry a foil?
insufferable? How so? And even if Beef might not be the ideal partner, what of Molly? It seems like Molly never really developed into a character, she has simply always been a foil for Beef. Who wants to marry a foil?
charchar
+6 -0
Fencers.
Fencers.
hamscout
+9 -0
Indeed. Only a foil can make them truly epee.
Indeed. Only a foil can make them truly epee.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
They can only truly saber the company of a foil.
They can only truly saber the company of a foil.
thegoodwillgirl
+6 -0
Swords!
Swords!
mr-siegal
+1 -0
I'll give you the tip.
I'll give you the tip.
granularsilica
+1 -0
Up to the hilt is how I roll.
Up to the hilt is how I roll.
gladi8orrex
+7 -0
can only women use broad-swords?
can only women use broad-swords?
puguglypress
+0 -0
And my axe!
And my axe!
ratacat
+0 -0
what kind of weird co-dependence is this that exists between Gladdi and the other people on here
what does Gladdi get out of his relationship with the people here
and what do the people here get from it?
Gladdi you are as popular to these people as Walter Cronkite because you always tell it the way it is
what kind of weird co-dependence is this that exists between Gladdi and the other people on here
what does Gladdi get out of his relationship with the people here
and what do the people here get from it?
Gladdi you are as popular to these people as Walter Cronkite because you always tell it the way it is
ratacat
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Pictured is GLADI8ORREX
i_love_kate
+2 -0
This guy's too trustworthy. What's his angle?!
This guy's too trustworthy. What's his angle?!
r1pp3r
+0 -0
Marraige is alway a combustious mixture of love and hate. You'll thank me later.
Marraige is alway a combustious mixture of love and hate. You'll thank me later.
farqussus
+0 -0
oh it'll be later
oh it'll be later
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Hating the world IS the only way to understand it (I dreamed I was back at University last night).
Hating the world IS the only way to understand it (I dreamed I was back at University last night).
randyleepublic
+0 -0
A comment left by randyleepublic was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, captain_giggles, colonelangus)
A comment left by randyleepublic was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, captain_giggles, colonelangus)
randyleepublic
+1 -0
Nah. Nothing new that ain't already on display right here. Good night.
Nah. Nothing new that ain't already on display right here. Good night.
dysphemism
+10 -0
Thankyou for blogging to us.
Thankyou for blogging to us.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
So, what do you suppose would happen if I copied and pasted the funny parts from the pay site here on asset bar? 'Course you might not agree with my sense of humor, no? But anyway, would my posts get erased or would my account get banned? Or nothing at all...
Not that I would do that, it would be pretty disrespectful to Chris. I just can't help but wonder...
P. S. dysphemism I chubbied your polite expression of gratitude. You're welcome.
So, what do you suppose would happen if I copied and pasted the funny parts from the pay site here on asset bar? 'Course you might not agree with my sense of humor, no? But anyway, would my posts get erased or would my account get banned? Or nothing at all...
Not that I would do that, it would be pretty disrespectful to Chris. I just can't help but wonder...
P. S. dysphemism I chubbied your polite expression of gratitude. You're welcome.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Man, who do a thing?
Man, who do a thing?
lucidz
+0 -0
FYF fattie.
FYF fattie.
ratacat
+2 -1
spectre ... you do realize that a Mac is basically a PC running linux, only it costs an extra $1000?
spectre ... you do realize that a Mac is basically a PC running linux, only it costs an extra $1000?
lucidz
+1 -0
Its BSD based, but whatev'
Its BSD based, but whatev'
spectre
+1 -0
BUT IT RUNS WITHOUT WINDOWS! That is the point.
And the pictures are *so* pretty.
BTW, I made a living administering BSD web server boxes for three years. So, yeh, I know -- and chubby to Lucidz.
BUT IT RUNS WITHOUT WINDOWS! That is the point.
And the pictures are *so* pretty.
BTW, I made a living administering BSD web server boxes for three years. So, yeh, I know -- and chubby to Lucidz.
hatstand_mcq
+14 -0
I am sure that Mac have their reason for only giving you one mouse button, but I can't help but feel that they do it out of stinginess. There's probably some horrible Mac executive with all the hoarded right buttons in his cellar. He probably swims in them like Scrooge MacDuck swims in money. Probably.
I am sure that Mac have their reason for only giving you one mouse button, but I can't help but feel that they do it out of stinginess. There's probably some horrible Mac executive with all the hoarded right buttons in his cellar. He probably swims in them like Scrooge MacDuck swims in money. Probably.
mattylite
+0 -0
Ya I am a long-time mac user but ever since like Netscape Navigator came out I have bought 3rd party regular old 2-button mice.
Ya I am a long-time mac user but ever since like Netscape Navigator came out I have bought 3rd party regular old 2-button mice.
hamscout
+16 -1
You can right-click with the new Magic Mouse-
You just need to use the right gesture...
[IMGS OFF]
Sincerely,
HamScout (Mac user)
You can right-click with the new Magic Mouse-
You just need to use the right gesture...
[IMGS OFF]
Sincerely,
HamScout (Mac user)
leftsaidtim
+0 -0
I chubby you as a mac user!
I chubby you as a mac user!
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Um... you do realize that you've been able to just use a regular mouse (chock-full of right-clickity goodness) for like ten years now, right?
You DO realize that, don't you?
Don't you?
Um... you do realize that you've been able to just use a regular mouse (chock-full of right-clickity goodness) for like ten years now, right?
You DO realize that, don't you?
Don't you?
rowboat
+4 -0
Ya'll some computer users.
Ya'll some computer users.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Spectre knows 'Nix, so chub that man.
Prettying up BSD like that is worth a hundred bucks each, sure.
Maybe not a thousand, but then that backlit keyboard sure is, yo.
Actually the Server version of OSX 10.6 is way cheaper than Windows Server....GASP!!!
Spectre knows 'Nix, so chub that man.
Prettying up BSD like that is worth a hundred bucks each, sure.
Maybe not a thousand, but then that backlit keyboard sure is, yo.
Actually the Server version of OSX 10.6 is way cheaper than Windows Server....GASP!!!
ratacat
+0 -0
how can you compare OSX server to Windows Server? You might as well compare BSD to Windows 3.1. Or compare a nice car to a Ford from the 80's that's been sitting at the bottom of the ocean for the past decade.
how can you compare OSX server to Windows Server? You might as well compare BSD to Windows 3.1. Or compare a nice car to a Ford from the 80's that's been sitting at the bottom of the ocean for the past decade.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
For small offices, yo. It scales. Plus your 1st comparison is ironically backward.
You'd be surprised at some bigger mini-enterprises even using it.
For small offices, yo. It scales. Plus your 1st comparison is ironically backward.
You'd be surprised at some bigger mini-enterprises even using it.
ratacat
+0 -0
I'm sure that some companies use OSX server, just as some people use OSX. It's just relatively rare that you find people with a mindset of productivity like that. So you're saying that OSX server is to Windows server what Windows 3.1 is to BSD? Hmmm...
I'm sure that some companies use OSX server, just as some people use OSX. It's just relatively rare that you find people with a mindset of productivity like that. So you're saying that OSX server is to Windows server what Windows 3.1 is to BSD? Hmmm...
cthulhu235
+3 -0
Talk about a computer which basically has AIDS.
Talk about a computer which basically has AIDS.
mirzabah
+0 -0
I think this is the first Fuck You Friday which contains no Fuck.
I think this is the first Fuck You Friday which contains no Fuck.
gladi8orrex
+19 -0
first panel bro. glad i could help with your eye problem. hope u dont stay dumb forever or w/e
(far left in teh black n white portion. 0 chances taken 0 chance 2 b mistaken)
first panel bro. glad i could help with your eye problem. hope u dont stay dumb forever or w/e
(far left in teh black n white portion. 0 chances taken 0 chance 2 b mistaken)
sherief
+0 -0
Yo how long till Onstad gives you a blog?
Yo how long till Onstad gives you a blog?
salvar
+3 -0
I thought Little Nephew already had a blog.
I thought Little Nephew already had a blog.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Touch a creek, freak.
Touch a creek, freak.
mattylite
+0 -0
Squeeze a nerd and get a turd, word.
Squeeze a nerd and get a turd, word.
roast_beef
+0 -0
Blow a clerk, jerk.
Blow a clerk, jerk.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
oh snap! gladi8orrex got stole!
oh snap! gladi8orrex got stole!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no spoken one, to be sure.
no spoken one, to be sure.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I think it was the last one (Bill Cosby, apostrophes) that also didn't have a Fuck in the main dialogue part.
I think it was the last one (Bill Cosby, apostrophes) that also didn't have a Fuck in the main dialogue part.
vegasrebel29
+0 -0
The FYFs because if 2010 looks anything like 2009, every Friday will be Fuck You Friday. Collect all 106!
The FYFs because if 2010 looks anything like 2009, every Friday will be Fuck You Friday. Collect all 106!
gladi8orrex
+11 -1
dead in the mid but mouth n size be pumpin' slime for the slip-up n slide-down lik teh mayor of poun' town
when u o-ring pumpin, maniac, conyac, dont wear a frown
im king o teh jews of butt fuckin, creme'n ma crown
name gladi8rex, emp. o' anal sex
teh pope o' brown rope. aint no ass i wont grope
stay-way form me les u dorp teh soap
i catch u, ima grab u n hab u
long n hard, is i b dreamin?
contenance o ma face be beamin'
u on ur face str8 screamin'
as ya butt gate get open-wide
lik teh view o countryside
n then u pass-out
r-right before i (dont) pull-out
n blast ya butt gums wit dick-paste
ya black cherry well n truely erased
"yo where ya keep ya bounty?"
"needa wipe off dis human-waste"
thx guys ma muse pretty back by nah raps b more easily 4 me hope u liked it
dead in the mid but mouth n size be pumpin' slime for the slip-up n slide-down lik teh mayor of poun' town
when u o-ring pumpin, maniac, conyac, dont wear a frown
im king o teh jews of butt fuckin, creme'n ma crown
name gladi8rex, emp. o' anal sex
teh pope o' brown rope. aint no ass i wont grope
stay-way form me les u dorp teh soap
i catch u, ima grab u n hab u
long n hard, is i b dreamin?
contenance o ma face be beamin'
u on ur face str8 screamin'
as ya butt gate get open-wide
lik teh view o countryside
n then u pass-out
r-right before i (dont) pull-out
n blast ya butt gums wit dick-paste
ya black cherry well n truely erased
"yo where ya keep ya bounty?"
"needa wipe off dis human-waste"
thx guys ma muse pretty back by nah raps b more easily 4 me hope u liked it
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Gladdi9orrex is the Jesus of sodomy.
Gladdi9orrex is the Jesus of sodomy.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Gladdi 9 orrex?
Gladdi 9 orrex?
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
GLADDI·REX·IVDÆORVM·PECCATUM·SODOMITICUM
GLADDI·REX·IVDÆORVM·PECCATUM·SODOMITICUM
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Shit. Looked OK in the goddamn preview.
Shit. Looked OK in the goddamn preview.
jeffspaulding
+5 -0
anyway, REX IVDAEORVM PECCATUM SODOMITICUM loosely translates to "king o teh jews of butt fuckin."
anyway, REX IVDAEORVM PECCATUM SODOMITICUM loosely translates to "king o teh jews of butt fuckin."
dangelder
+0 -0
Thanks, Catholic Strategy Gus.
Thanks, Catholic Strategy Gus.
expellens
+0 -0
Jesus? Yes, Gladdi9 is the mystical bearded sky man of back door pleasure.
Personally, I would've chosen someone more known for oratorial skills who wasn't a celibate bachelor.
Perhaps he's the William Jennings Bryan of sodomy?
Jesus? Yes, Gladdi9 is the mystical bearded sky man of back door pleasure.
Personally, I would've chosen someone more known for oratorial skills who wasn't a celibate bachelor.
Perhaps he's the William Jennings Bryan of sodomy?
deusoma
+0 -0
If anyone was the Jesus of sodomy, I would have figured it was Dr. Manflesh.
If anyone was the Jesus of sodomy, I would have figured it was Dr. Manflesh.
daidai
+1 -0
retardo
retardo
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Dr Manflesh is the Hugh MacDiarmid of sodomy. Gladi8orX is the E.E. Cummings.
Dr Manflesh is the Hugh MacDiarmid of sodomy. Gladi8orX is the E.E. Cummings.
mensch
+0 -0
don't you mean eeeeeeeecumming!
don't you mean eeeeeeeecumming!
mattylite
+2 -0
correct
i wanna cum
correct
i wanna cum
r1pp3r
+0 -0
He laughed when he came; true to his name.
He laughed when he came; true to his name.
harvestgold
+7 -0
The Jesus of sodomy always has a second coming.
The Jesus of sodomy always has a second coming.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Like teh view...o countryside...
Dylan Thomas would have gladly let you plunder him for such talent. Walt Whitman would have done it for nothing.
Like teh view...o countryside...
Dylan Thomas would have gladly let you plunder him for such talent. Walt Whitman would have done it for nothing.
king_duncan
+0 -0
I had to look up "milt". Is there... is there girl-milt?
I had to look up "milt". Is there... is there girl-milt?
mkb
+3 -1
It's not scientifically proven to be any different from urine.
It's not scientifically proven to be any different from urine.
omegatron
+2 -0
Wait. So you mean that she was.... Damn it.
Wait. So you mean that she was.... Damn it.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Quote:
"boy-milt" is redundant. However, it is a good idea to get it unpasteurized, otherwise it loses potency.
Quote:
milt (mlt) n.
1. Fish sperm, including the seminal fluid.
1. Fish sperm, including the seminal fluid.
"boy-milt" is redundant. However, it is a good idea to get it unpasteurized, otherwise it loses potency.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Not so fast, gaucho, yes, all milt comes from "boys," but in the strip, it is milt from Bulgarian boys. Or as Chinese put it: Cumfromsomeyounguy
Quote:
"boy-milt" is redundant
Not so fast, gaucho, yes, all milt comes from "boys," but in the strip, it is milt from Bulgarian boys. Or as Chinese put it: Cumfromsomeyounguy
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Gaucho? But I don't have a spangled leather poncho.
Anyway, you'll notice that "boy-milt" is a compound word. Thus the term "boy" is directly modifying "milt" not "Bulgarian." I'll give in if it was a translation from a parochial European term (such as JungeSamen )
Gaucho? But I don't have a spangled leather poncho.
Anyway, you'll notice that "boy-milt" is a compound word. Thus the term "boy" is directly modifying "milt" not "Bulgarian." I'll give in if it was a translation from a parochial European term (such as JungeSamen )
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Or maybe it just means as opposed to man-milt? Which as we all know, has only half the culinary uses.
Or maybe it just means as opposed to man-milt? Which as we all know, has only half the culinary uses.
salvar
+0 -0
Or quite possibly it emphasizes the fact that this milt did not come from fish.
Or quite possibly it emphasizes the fact that this milt did not come from fish.
granularsilica
+0 -0
You caught that gaucho/Groucho thing I did, you clever stogie sucker you. Bulgarian milt comes from both boys and men, as i_love_kate already said.
You caught that gaucho/Groucho thing I did, you clever stogie sucker you. Bulgarian milt comes from both boys and men, as i_love_kate already said.
fattypneumonia
+2 -0
Gaucho poncho retro rauncho. (combo Harpo)[IMGS OFF]
Gaucho poncho retro rauncho. (combo Harpo)[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But it's funny saying things like woman tits and man dicks.
But it's funny saying things like woman tits and man dicks.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Yeah, there's gotta be a name in rhetoric for that kind of repetition for effect, but I'm too lazy and tired to look it up. (See how little I think of you all, showing up all lazy and tired.)
Yeah, there's gotta be a name in rhetoric for that kind of repetition for effect, but I'm too lazy and tired to look it up. (See how little I think of you all, showing up all lazy and tired.)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Probably "redundancy." And yes, we can all see you lazing about in your avicon.
Probably "redundancy." And yes, we can all see you lazing about in your avicon.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Also, pogo is old, and thus always lazy and tired.
Also, pogo is old, and thus always lazy and tired.
granularsilica
+1 -0
OK, young Mofos, check this out:
adnominatio -- Repeating a word, but in a different form. Using a cognate of a given word in close proximity.
OK, young Mofos, check this out:
adnominatio -- Repeating a word, but in a different form. Using a cognate of a given word in close proximity.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Damn it, it's the perfect word for the situation. Props to the old bum.
Damn it, it's the perfect word for the situation. Props to the old bum.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Sniff... That's the nicest thing, aw shucks, hand me that there bottle after you take a swig, sport.
Quote:
Props to the old bum
Sniff... That's the nicest thing, aw shucks, hand me that there bottle after you take a swig, sport.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
Yes, in a way, you could say so.
[IMGS OFF]
Yes, in a way, you could say so.
[IMGS OFF]
granularsilica
+0 -0
I'm the only one old enough to have seen Uncle Milty on TV, I'll bet.
I'm the only one old enough to have seen Uncle Milty on TV, I'll bet.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
I've seen him too . . .
[IMGS OFF]
I've seen him too . . .
[IMGS OFF]
expellens
+0 -0
On the original Texaco hour? Had to get home early to warm up the ol' TV.
Just seen Milty on reruns.
On the original Texaco hour? Had to get home early to warm up the ol' TV.
Just seen Milty on reruns.
doppelganger
+0 -0
I hear he was the biggest dick in Hollywood.
(nice guy though)
I hear he was the biggest dick in Hollywood.
(nice guy though)
mensch
+0 -0
Hard to believe that myth about Jews having small schlongs -- Berle had to have added a couple of inches to the average.
Hard to believe that myth about Jews having small schlongs -- Berle had to have added a couple of inches to the average.
mrbix
+0 -0
Jews must have some to spare since they make a party out of lopping off the top.
Jews must have some to spare since they make a party out of lopping off the top.
jeffspaulding
+10 -0
My cousin Moishe was a Mohel. The pay wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips.
My cousin Moishe was a Mohel. The pay wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
::steady stream of projectile vomit::
::steady stream of projectile vomit::
hatstand_mcq
+9 -0
Yeah, but if he made a mistake he'd get the sack.
Yeah, but if he made a mistake he'd get the sack.
mensch
+5 -0
That would leave a taint on his work record.
That would leave a taint on his work record.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
You gotta think twice about starting a fight with a mohel -- you wouldn't want to go off half-cocked.
You gotta think twice about starting a fight with a mohel -- you wouldn't want to go off half-cocked.
chico
+0 -0
Quote:
I asked him to bring a brisket for Saturday dinner. You wouldn't believe what he showed up with.
Quote:
My cousin Moishe was a Mohel
I asked him to bring a brisket for Saturday dinner. You wouldn't believe what he showed up with.
granularsilica
+0 -0
::steady stream of projectile vomit::
::steady stream of projectile vomit::
thegoblins
+0 -0
Sometimes he had to force kin to bring their babies to his parties.
Sometimes he had to force kin to bring their babies to his parties.
mensch
+0 -0
Brisket --> *bris kit*
Brisket --> *bris kit*
expellens
+0 -0
Being a nice guy comes in handy. That's what got Kobe in trouble. Not a nice guy, so only the 1st 8 inches were consensual.
Being a nice guy comes in handy. That's what got Kobe in trouble. Not a nice guy, so only the 1st 8 inches were consensual.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Always with the penis talk, you milt schmeltzers.
Always with the penis talk, you milt schmeltzers.
gunsofray
+0 -0
sometimes i scroll down and dont read the comments, just to laugh at the photos people bring to show and tell. Chubbied heftily, man!
sometimes i scroll down and dont read the comments, just to laugh at the photos people bring to show and tell. Chubbied heftily, man!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You'd lose that bet, Pops. Red Skelton, Alfred Hitchcock, Rin-Tin-Tin, Howdy Doody.....Howdy Doody.
No wonder we were a fucked up generation.
Remember a show with a character named Gerald McBoing-Boing?
Dig this shit, kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNsyQDmEopw
You'd lose that bet, Pops. Red Skelton, Alfred Hitchcock, Rin-Tin-Tin, Howdy Doody.....Howdy Doody.
No wonder we were a fucked up generation.
Remember a show with a character named Gerald McBoing-Boing?
Dig this shit, kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNsyQDmEopw
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
Every time I scroll past this image I am appalled. But, in a fun way.
Every time I scroll past this image I am appalled. But, in a fun way.
granularsilica
+0 -0
It does evoke a laugh as I begin to study it more closely ... utterly ridiculous!
It does evoke a laugh as I begin to study it more closely ... utterly ridiculous!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
girls have roe, doofie.
girls have roe, doofie.
mensch
+6 -0
Quote:
Yeah, its called a tuna milt.
Quote:
is there girl-milt
Yeah, its called a tuna milt.
thegoblins
+0 -0
you made me giggle ferociously this time. Curse you!
you made me giggle ferociously this time. Curse you!
lucidz
+0 -0
Molly is getting pissed. Look at her. The cat is pissed!
Molly is getting pissed. Look at her. The cat is pissed!
newspaperdrone
+13 -0
Welcome back, Fuck You Friday. I'm so happy that you've returned. Wh.. what's that? You want a hug? Well I think I can do that. Mmm. You smell good. Shall we go to bed?
What the fuck are you all looking at? Haven't you ever seen a man romance a comic strip before? Grow up fags.
Welcome back, Fuck You Friday. I'm so happy that you've returned. Wh.. what's that? You want a hug? Well I think I can do that. Mmm. You smell good. Shall we go to bed?
What the fuck are you all looking at? Haven't you ever seen a man romance a comic strip before? Grow up fags.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Never seen anyone do it that badly, if that's what you mean.
OHHHHHH low blow.
Never seen anyone do it that badly, if that's what you mean.
OHHHHHH low blow.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's gonna be a what?
girlfight!
it's gonna be a what?
girlfight!
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Sorry. It's been a while and I'm eager to get down to some fuckin' .
Sorry. It's been a while and I'm eager to get down to some fuckin' .
thing
+3 -1
...Mom?
...Mom?
miaou
+0 -0
It's
"VA TE FAIRE FOUTRE
VENDREDI."
It's
"VA TE FAIRE FOUTRE
VENDREDI."
puguglypress
+0 -0
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Chinga a tu!
Chinga a tu!
miaou
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
jeffspaulding
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
lux
+0 -0
CHING CHONG WING WONG
CHING CHONG WING WONG
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, hey, you're back.
Oh, hey, you're back.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Is it some sort of coincidence that all the women are coming back to Assetbar now that I don't post? Did you people all break free at once?
Is it some sort of coincidence that all the women are coming back to Assetbar now that I don't post? Did you people all break free at once?
ratacat
+0 -0
I know even that kid from new york came back
I know even that kid from new york came back
achilleselbow
+0 -0
If you're talking about me, I'm not back per se, just strolling by.
If you're talking about me, I'm not back per se, just strolling by.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oh hell stick around
Oh hell stick around
ratacat
+0 -0
alexis can't stand me. She unfriended me on facebook even. She blocked me on facebook.
alexis can't stand me. She unfriended me on facebook even. She blocked me on facebook.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Quote:
Tell it to Facebook Wapner
Quote:
Buyer tries to stab me! Leaves me so much spam!
Tell it to Facebook Wapner
lux
+0 -0
I'm surprised that you guys noticed! Awww, c'mere, you. <3
I'm surprised that you guys noticed! Awww, c'mere, you. <3
granularsilica
+0 -0
EDITOR'S NOTE: Hedonism Bot is referring to his basement where many of the female Assetbarbarians have been held in sexual bondage, some with more gusto than others. It's quite a place, has good plumbing and padded shackles. [Good name for a band]
EDITOR'S NOTE: Hedonism Bot is referring to his basement where many of the female Assetbarbarians have been held in sexual bondage, some with more gusto than others. It's quite a place, has good plumbing and padded shackles. [Good name for a band]
ratacat
+0 -0
INADEQUATE VAGINAE
another good name for a band
INADEQUATE VAGINAE
another good name for a band
direbmem
+1 -0
Dang, man, but that sounds like a fun place.
Dang, man, but that sounds like a fun place.
stonecrab
+0 -0
Happy Fuck You Friday, everyone!
Happy Fuck You Friday, everyone!
cpnglxynchos
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
stuart
+0 -0
Emesis. There's a word I know because I found it in a dictionary before.
Emesis. There's a word I know because I found it in a dictionary before.
mg7810
+0 -0
That is probably the best place on balance to encounter emesis.
That is probably the best place on balance to encounter emesis.
expellens
+0 -0
Ass emesis on the other hand. That's 'bucket in the bathroom' time...
Ass emesis on the other hand. That's 'bucket in the bathroom' time...
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I was going to post a poorly shopped Emeril head on that same Milty in drag jpg, but decided against it, as it would probably induce vomiting.
I was going to post a poorly shopped Emeril head on that same Milty in drag jpg, but decided against it, as it would probably induce vomiting.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Roast Beef reminds us that he is the only character this comic strip will ever require to remain of high quality.
Roast Beef reminds us that he is the only character this comic strip will ever require to remain of high quality.
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
What?
What?
daidai
+3 -0
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
*to the tune of "Single Female Lawyer"*
Fucked-up sentence parsing!
It's unclear what it meeeeeeans.
*to the tune of "Single Female Lawyer"*
Fucked-up sentence parsing!
It's unclear what it meeeeeeans.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Molly's expression kills me. Strained eyes, jaw jutted out, pursed lips. Ultimate annoyance and in the last panel, total resignation.
Molly's expression kills me. Strained eyes, jaw jutted out, pursed lips. Ultimate annoyance and in the last panel, total resignation.
possums
+0 -0
Is it just me or is Achewood now newsprint-colored?
Is it just me or is Achewood now newsprint-colored?
lynnym
+0 -0
I think I see it, too. The black is not as black as it once was.
I think I see it, too. The black is not as black as it once was.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I've noticed this in the past year or so. Look back to the Polly strips (Polly strips strips) or the Wales arc. And many others. It seems pretty random as far as when it happens, and I'm not smart enough to know what the hell it's all about. Sometimes it's much sharper, sometimes not.
I've noticed this in the past year or so. Look back to the Polly strips (Polly strips strips) or the Wales arc. And many others. It seems pretty random as far as when it happens, and I'm not smart enough to know what the hell it's all about. Sometimes it's much sharper, sometimes not.
telescreen
+0 -0
It's a goddamn conspiracy!
It's a goddamn conspiracy!
lynnym
+0 -0
Major points for using the word "emesis". As an emetophobic, it delighted me to see it.
Major points for using the word "emesis". As an emetophobic, it delighted me to see it.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
He's so emetophobic he refuses to watch the Karate Kid.
He's so emetophobic he refuses to watch the Karate Kid.
lynnym
+0 -0
Ha!....I think.
Ha!....I think.
jeffspaulding
+2 -0
You know -- 'cause there's Ralph in every scene.
You know -- 'cause there's Ralph in every scene.
plummet
+1 -0
I think he said his name was RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPH, officer
I think he said his name was RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPH, officer
granularsilica
+0 -0
Oh, sorry about yer shoes, ossifer.
Oh, sorry about yer shoes, ossifer.
lynnym
+0 -0
Oh!
Oh!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
RAAAAAAAALPH. HUUUUUUUUEY. RAAAAAAALPH. Have some creme de menthe and its green huey. Or Huey Green.
RAAAAAAAALPH. HUUUUUUUUEY. RAAAAAAALPH. Have some creme de menthe and its green huey. Or Huey Green.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Sorry if this makes you further emetophobic, but could your emetophobia be so intense you throw up from it and start a never-ending cycle?
Sorry if this makes you further emetophobic, but could your emetophobia be so intense you throw up from it and start a never-ending cycle?
azairborne
+0 -0
May Lucifer cast you all into a burning emesis basin in Hade's!
May Lucifer cast you all into a burning emesis basin in Hade's!
lynnym
+0 -0
nice-on-water, that is an amazing question. The answer is a tentative 'no'. But believe me, Onstad's vision of a man who never stops vomiting? Jesus Christ, you should have seen my expression. "A bullet to the back of the head...that's the quickest way..."
nice-on-water, that is an amazing question. The answer is a tentative 'no'. But believe me, Onstad's vision of a man who never stops vomiting? Jesus Christ, you should have seen my expression. "A bullet to the back of the head...that's the quickest way..."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I mean I've thought about that before. I know vomit is (sometimes) our response to what we consider disgusting, if it's disgusting enough, and we all hopefully have a negative response to vomit, so I can imagine someone's vomit making someone else vomit, etc ad naseum, pun intended. This is what I think about.
I mean I've thought about that before. I know vomit is (sometimes) our response to what we consider disgusting, if it's disgusting enough, and we all hopefully have a negative response to vomit, so I can imagine someone's vomit making someone else vomit, etc ad naseum, pun intended. This is what I think about.
lynnym
+0 -0
This is what I think about too.
This is what I think about too.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It is something to think about.
It is something to think about.
mystkmanat
+1 -0
Think about it.
Think about it.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Think about it.
Think about it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Think think about it.
Think think about it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
'k aboudit
missbee
+1 -0
Maybe ju an' heem are amigos !
Maybe ju an' heem are amigos !
onegoodmonkey
+2 -0
I've never actually vomited just because something external disgusted me. I'd like to be able to, though. It would make a very strong statement against something to vomit on command in response to it.
I've never actually vomited just because something external disgusted me. I'd like to be able to, though. It would make a very strong statement against something to vomit on command in response to it.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It has been suggested that a good number of people fear vomiting more than they fear such things as labor pains and death. It is apparently one of the most traumatizing things for humans to go through.
It has been suggested that a good number of people fear vomiting more than they fear such things as labor pains and death. It is apparently one of the most traumatizing things for humans to go through.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I quite like vomiting. To be honest, I think it's the main reason I do so much scag.
I quite like vomiting. To be honest, I think it's the main reason I do so much scag.
lynnym
+0 -0
You immediately remind me of Lyle.
You immediately remind me of Lyle.
steev_dayv
+3 -0
The only thing that causes me to blow chunks these days is a large dose of L, or copious amounts of alcohol.
Still, under those circumstances, it is usually a life-affirming experience that leaves me baptized in my own sweat, hugging porcelain, panting harder than any physical activity has ever made me. Gulping air. Tears indiscriminately stream with beads of sweat, collect at my chin and drip off the tip of my beard.
Just one more gut wrenching heave as my soul is evacuated into a toilet. Everything goes a little white.
And then the breath comes again. A gasp. Unexpected. I'm alive. Just very messy.
LSD Blooming Onion = toilet egodeath
Tequila tequila tequila = toilet drownings
The only thing that causes me to blow chunks these days is a large dose of L, or copious amounts of alcohol.
Still, under those circumstances, it is usually a life-affirming experience that leaves me baptized in my own sweat, hugging porcelain, panting harder than any physical activity has ever made me. Gulping air. Tears indiscriminately stream with beads of sweat, collect at my chin and drip off the tip of my beard.
Just one more gut wrenching heave as my soul is evacuated into a toilet. Everything goes a little white.
And then the breath comes again. A gasp. Unexpected. I'm alive. Just very messy.
LSD Blooming Onion = toilet egodeath
Tequila tequila tequila = toilet drownings
steev_dayv
+0 -0
fuck you assetbar...the bottom is a formula...pluses and such, you see...m'yes
fuck you assetbar...the bottom is a formula...pluses and such, you see...m'yes
onegoodmonkey
+1 -0
Assetbar has a problem with pluses. Oh well; we're all just gonna die anyway.
Assetbar has a problem with pluses. Oh well; we're all just gonna die anyway.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Assetbar has a problem with you. It nudged me at the table last night, pointed at you and went "I don't like that onegoodmonkey guy."
Assetbar has a problem with you. It nudged me at the table last night, pointed at you and went "I don't like that onegoodmonkey guy."
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Thought they were great band/album names, james.
Quote:
LSD Blooming Onion = toilet egodeath
Tequila tequila tequila = toilet drownings
Tequila tequila tequila = toilet drownings
Thought they were great band/album names, james.
direbmem
+0 -0
I'm surprised we've not adopted Newspeak for this. Unminus/un- or possibly !- for those of you that see ! as not.
I'm surprised we've not adopted Newspeak for this. Unminus/un- or possibly !- for those of you that see ! as not.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Supermodels are really a lot braver than we give them credit for.
Supermodels are really a lot braver than we give them credit for.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In my experience, the main concern has always been where to vomit in style, comfort, and relative humiliation.
[IMGS OFF]
In my experience, the main concern has always been where to vomit in style, comfort, and relative humiliation.
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yeah, the only thing that can improve a vomiting situation for me is humiliation.
Yeah, the only thing that can improve a vomiting situation for me is humiliation.
edd36
+0 -0
Vomiting has never bothered me. If I've felt a bit ill due to excess with alcohol (or on a few rare occasions food) I've always prefered to just get it other with and get rid of what's making me feel bad. On top of this I can usually vomit on demand (Lyle would be proud) without any silly fingers down throat nonesense though I don't exactly do this as a party trick (Lyle would be disapointed).
Vomiting has never bothered me. If I've felt a bit ill due to excess with alcohol (or on a few rare occasions food) I've always prefered to just get it other with and get rid of what's making me feel bad. On top of this I can usually vomit on demand (Lyle would be proud) without any silly fingers down throat nonesense though I don't exactly do this as a party trick (Lyle would be disapointed).
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I am also of the school of not hating vomiting. In my opinion, not vomiting is way, way worse than feeling like you have to vomit but not doing it.
I am also of the school of not hating vomiting. In my opinion, not vomiting is way, way worse than feeling like you have to vomit but not doing it.
granularsilica
+0 -0
I agree, don't fight the feeling -- get into position, a sink will do in a pinch, and let it fly!
I agree, don't fight the feeling -- get into position, a sink will do in a pinch, and let it fly!
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Man, I've had at least 4 public barfs in my day that had a distinct humiliation factor- which is why I included that.
When I was 10 or so- remember the air-raid drills we did in elementary school? I think it was right after lunch, and we're all standing in lines along the walls in the hall before we go back to the classrooms. You remember the H-bomb drills, etc.
I'm feeling disoriented, and then this big hand squeezes my body and I hurl 2 huge puddles of barf in the hall. It was so dramatic, my best friend followed suit right after.
...And we were *.* that close to starting a mass hysterical vomitation in the hall.
Would have been great if it was planned, but I think it was mild food poisoning from the cafeteria.
After high school and 1st year of college, one summer my friend took a job for a termite exterminator. He had always been healthy as a horse, but he good leukemia soon after that, died age 19. Brutal. I heard about it a few months later.
People didn't sue then like later either.
Man, I've had at least 4 public barfs in my day that had a distinct humiliation factor- which is why I included that.
When I was 10 or so- remember the air-raid drills we did in elementary school? I think it was right after lunch, and we're all standing in lines along the walls in the hall before we go back to the classrooms. You remember the H-bomb drills, etc.
I'm feeling disoriented, and then this big hand squeezes my body and I hurl 2 huge puddles of barf in the hall. It was so dramatic, my best friend followed suit right after.
...And we were *.* that close to starting a mass hysterical vomitation in the hall.
Would have been great if it was planned, but I think it was mild food poisoning from the cafeteria.
After high school and 1st year of college, one summer my friend took a job for a termite exterminator. He had always been healthy as a horse, but he good leukemia soon after that, died age 19. Brutal. I heard about it a few months later.
People didn't sue then like later either.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Of course I read that first line as "pubic barf."
Of course I read that first line as "pubic barf."
re5urgam
+0 -0
Meeee toooooo
Meeee toooooo
lynnym
+0 -0
I did not have any mistakes reading this story. It was great. And also, a little terrifying.
I did not have any mistakes reading this story. It was great. And also, a little terrifying.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Ive got a better one that includes an Enlightened guru and getting stoned....
Ive got a better one that includes an Enlightened guru and getting stoned....
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
I remember "duck and cover" drills. Parents today worry about the background hum of terrorist threats and the effect it has on our children's delicate psyches. What a bunch of wimps -- in my childhood we had constant reminders of an evil empire that not only hated us but had the power to kill us all in a truly gruesome way.
Coincidentally, I watched Atomic Cafe last night; I was stuck by the government's sense of divine entitlement to nuclear weapons. Seeing American jingoism flashed on the screen in concentrated form is overwhelming.
I remember "duck and cover" drills. Parents today worry about the background hum of terrorist threats and the effect it has on our children's delicate psyches. What a bunch of wimps -- in my childhood we had constant reminders of an evil empire that not only hated us but had the power to kill us all in a truly gruesome way.
Coincidentally, I watched Atomic Cafe last night; I was stuck by the government's sense of divine entitlement to nuclear weapons. Seeing American jingoism flashed on the screen in concentrated form is overwhelming.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I guess mentioning "Why We Fight" in that context is small time but it has to be mentioned.
I guess mentioning "Why We Fight" in that context is small time but it has to be mentioned.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Saw that in documentary film class. Wonder if they have a modern version they show the troops.
Quote:
"Why We Fight"
Saw that in documentary film class. Wonder if they have a modern version they show the troops.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
an evil empire that not only hated us but had the power to kill us all in a truly gruesome way.
And they still do! But we have somehow gotten used to it.
ratacat
+0 -0
it's become less likely that the US or the Ruskies will go nuclear a-la Strangelove. However, it's only a matter of time before some minor player like Iran or even alqueda nukes someone. And then there is the prospect of chemical terrorism. yum yum. I mean. It's not like McDonald's breakfast menu isn't chemical terrorism, but still...
it's become less likely that the US or the Ruskies will go nuclear a-la Strangelove. However, it's only a matter of time before some minor player like Iran or even alqueda nukes someone. And then there is the prospect of chemical terrorism. yum yum. I mean. It's not like McDonald's breakfast menu isn't chemical terrorism, but still...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I've got one about two Irishmen in a pub.
I've got one about two Irishmen in a pub.
granularsilica
+0 -0
The image of your spew setting off a chain reaction of chunk blowing, during an H-bomb drill, so there's a science lesson in the chain reaction, really made my evening.
The image of your spew setting off a chain reaction of chunk blowing, during an H-bomb drill, so there's a science lesson in the chain reaction, really made my evening.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i did not make any mistakes in reading the story, either, i feel.
i did not make any mistakes in reading the story, either, i feel.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I guess it's good to hear who read with clarity and who didn't. I for one appreciate everyone's input on the matter. This is what the internet should be.
ily@ll
nice-on-water ;)
I guess it's good to hear who read with clarity and who didn't. I for one appreciate everyone's input on the matter. This is what the internet should be.
ily@ll
nice-on-water ;)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was just wishing for this talent, unable to shake this small stomach:( after my first night of drinking in Scotland. I'd love to get it over without taking a beershit. Oh well.
I was just wishing for this talent, unable to shake this small stomach:( after my first night of drinking in Scotland. I'd love to get it over without taking a beershit. Oh well.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Beershits are the RANKEST.
Beershits are the RANKEST.
backdraft
+0 -0
Try flatting with a guy who is 6'8", and eats meat by the pound. One sunday morning after a fairly awesome bender, I honestly couldn't go back to my room because it meant walking past a toilet he'd just killed.
The horror...
Try flatting with a guy who is 6'8", and eats meat by the pound. One sunday morning after a fairly awesome bender, I honestly couldn't go back to my room because it meant walking past a toilet he'd just killed.
The horror...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Name/comment synergy!
Name/comment synergy!
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm convinced wine has a compound in it designed to make me as angry as possible. It tastes so nice and happy going down, and then an hour later I'm belligerent as hell.
I'm convinced wine has a compound in it designed to make me as angry as possible. It tastes so nice and happy going down, and then an hour later I'm belligerent as hell.
hamscout
+1 -0
...and you are definitely not afraid of the police.
...and you are definitely not afraid of the police.
ratacat
+0 -0
this is what thegob's brain looks like when she's high on wine:
[IMGS OFF]
this is what thegob's brain looks like when she's high on wine:
[IMGS OFF]
ratacat
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
thegoblins slapped her forehead. "No wonner I been-a so grouchy!"
thegoblins slapped her forehead. "No wonner I been-a so grouchy!"
nice-on-water
+1 -0
::points to username with a small smirk and eyebrow waggle::
::points to username with a small smirk and eyebrow waggle::
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
You mean alcohol? Brings out the best/beast in us all.
Quote:
I'm convinced wine has a compound in it designed to make me as angry as possible
You mean alcohol? Brings out the best/beast in us all.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and for some, the breast.
and for some, the breast.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And the bless'd?
And the bless'd?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There are none ranker.
There are none ranker.
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
Hooray for Fuck You Friday, and hooray for gettin' two strips back-to-back with not a day in between. This was the first one that's made me laugh out loud in weeks.
Hooray for Fuck You Friday, and hooray for gettin' two strips back-to-back with not a day in between. This was the first one that's made me laugh out loud in weeks.
dirkstar
+0 -1
One of, if not the funniest cartoon moment ever produced in the western world. I laughed out loud so hard I may have soiled myself. (I'll be removing my under garments to look and see as soon as I'm finished posting this.)
Where do you come up with such uproarious material?
Seriously...
One of, if not the funniest cartoon moment ever produced in the western world. I laughed out loud so hard I may have soiled myself. (I'll be removing my under garments to look and see as soon as I'm finished posting this.)
Where do you come up with such uproarious material?
Seriously...
doppelganger
+0 -0
Probably the same place where you got that side-splittingly hilarious sardonic wit of yours.
Probably the same place where you got that side-splittingly hilarious sardonic wit of yours.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Lamed for use of FZ's visage while having no sense of humor.
Lamed for use of FZ's visage while having no sense of humor.
granularsilica
+0 -0
But he's serious!
But he's serious!
ratacat
+0 -0
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
As a side note, it sure is nice how assetbar leads you to believe you are allowed to make comments, and then dumps your comment after you type it, giving you a message saying that you're not allowed to make comments and to please try again tomorrow. Of course people find this combination of ineptitude and arrogance to be infuriating. It's too bad that there are pieces of shit in this world who write software that manifests no respect for the efforts of other people. This means you, assetbar folks. I'm not sure what Onstad sees in them, but whatever.
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
As a side note, it sure is nice how assetbar leads you to believe you are allowed to make comments, and then dumps your comment after you type it, giving you a message saying that you're not allowed to make comments and to please try again tomorrow. Of course people find this combination of ineptitude and arrogance to be infuriating. It's too bad that there are pieces of shit in this world who write software that manifests no respect for the efforts of other people. This means you, assetbar folks. I'm not sure what Onstad sees in them, but whatever.
srikamaraja
+4 -0
Catholic Strategy Gus fucks first and asks questions drinking.
Catholic Strategy Gus fucks first and asks questions drinking.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm not so sure about Roast Beef's marriage here, guys. I'm really not.
I'm not so sure about Roast Beef's marriage here, guys. I'm really not.
cthulhu235
+0 -0
Don't worry, Molly doesn't leave him for decades. It's all in that one strip he did where he looks into the future and Ray gets prosthetic ears.
Don't worry, Molly doesn't leave him for decades. It's all in that one strip he did where he looks into the future and Ray gets prosthetic ears.
cthulhu235
+0 -0
"He" being Onstad, presumably.
"He" being Onstad, presumably.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
IT MUST BE
IT MUST BE
1000hz
+5 -0
Come on, Beef. Your lady is all dressed up and you are naked as hell.
Come on, Beef. Your lady is all dressed up and you are naked as hell.
re5urgam
+0 -0
This is okay sometimes.
This is okay sometimes.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...fantasies.
...fantasies.
hamscout
+2 -0
It could be even lower class than that...
Behind the menu, he could be wearing the same shirt as [url=https://www.zimbio.com/Jon Gosselin/articles/TMGkqi-D92r/Jon Gosselin Steps Out Another New Lady]this douche[/url].
[IMGS OFF]
It could be even lower class than that...
Behind the menu, he could be wearing the same shirt as [url=https://www.zimbio.com/Jon Gosselin/articles/TMGkqi-D92r/Jon Gosselin Steps Out Another New Lady]this douche[/url].
[IMGS OFF]
hamscout
+0 -0
Fuck You Friday still reverberates on Sunday!
[url=https://www.zimbio.com/Jon Gosselin/articles/TMGkqi-D92r/Jon Gosselin Steps Out Another New Lady/]He's still a douche.[/url]
Fuck You Friday still reverberates on Sunday!
[url=https://www.zimbio.com/Jon Gosselin/articles/TMGkqi-D92r/Jon Gosselin Steps Out Another New Lady/]He's still a douche.[/url]
hamscout
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+4 -2
falseprophet's dinner menu for the week of January 3 to January 9 2010, as interpreted by Roast Beef Kazenzakis.
"Extra large Papa John's with pepperoni and sausage?
"Authorities traced the explosion back to a power steering fluid leak in a '98 Chrysler Cirrus.
"A bacon and cheddar omelette with PBR at the all-night diner on any wrong street?
"Sounds like the hash browns come free.
"General Tso's Chicken with pork fried rice and french fries?
"Man get your 3D glasses 'cause your bathroom is screening a movie called There Will Be Flood ."
falseprophet's dinner menu for the week of January 3 to January 9 2010, as interpreted by Roast Beef Kazenzakis.
"Extra large Papa John's with pepperoni and sausage?
"Authorities traced the explosion back to a power steering fluid leak in a '98 Chrysler Cirrus.
"A bacon and cheddar omelette with PBR at the all-night diner on any wrong street?
"Sounds like the hash browns come free.
"General Tso's Chicken with pork fried rice and french fries?
"Man get your 3D glasses 'cause your bathroom is screening a movie called There Will Be Flood ."
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I apparently lamed this instead of chubbying. Assetbar, you're a liar. Stop lying, Assetbar.
I apparently lamed this instead of chubbying. Assetbar, you're a liar. Stop lying, Assetbar.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Thank you. When I saw the lame earlier I honestly believed I had failed. Thank you for validating me.
Thank you. When I saw the lame earlier I honestly believed I had failed. Thank you for validating me.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i lamed as joke. sry bro i woulda chupp'd norm. is jus'... man nah i regret dis.
so sorry, dogg
i lamed as joke. sry bro i woulda chupp'd norm. is jus'... man nah i regret dis.
so sorry, dogg
tommythebrat
+1 -0
Catholic Strategy: It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for advice.
Catholic Strategy: It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for advice.
hatstand_mcq
+4 -0
If you are a Catholic and you are washed up on a desert island, and find a man there who has never heard of Christianity, you must tell him about Jesus etc (on pain of damnation). However, if he listens to you but does not convert then he is bound for hell, whereas before his he was in a state of 'invincible error' and incapable of committing mortal sins. Therefore, by telling him about Jesus you are actually making it less likely that he will get into heaven. Catholic strategy should therefore be to avoid knowing anything at all about Catholicism. However, if you know enough about Catholicism to know that then you are already doomed (or you'll at least have to give up the sex and cocaine). It's sort of like The Game. By the time you know the rules you've already lost.
If you are a Catholic and you are washed up on a desert island, and find a man there who has never heard of Christianity, you must tell him about Jesus etc (on pain of damnation). However, if he listens to you but does not convert then he is bound for hell, whereas before his he was in a state of 'invincible error' and incapable of committing mortal sins. Therefore, by telling him about Jesus you are actually making it less likely that he will get into heaven. Catholic strategy should therefore be to avoid knowing anything at all about Catholicism. However, if you know enough about Catholicism to know that then you are already doomed (or you'll at least have to give up the sex and cocaine). It's sort of like The Game. By the time you know the rules you've already lost.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
is not hard 2 hav principals. u act lik eery1 is lech or sumthin. kinda small minded u needa open ur head 2 new ideas n relize der otherways o dehavin'
is not hard 2 hav principals. u act lik eery1 is lech or sumthin. kinda small minded u needa open ur head 2 new ideas n relize der otherways o dehavin'
granularsilica
+1 -0
When I imagine Sarkozy saying ur wrds w/ a French accent, I am deeply amused.
When I imagine Sarkozy saying ur wrds w/ a French accent, I am deeply amused.
ratacat
+0 -0
well.. what if you're wrong gladi8? What if you're wrong... and you know... odds are that you are wrong. 99.999% of what everyone believes is wrong.
I think that the most fundamental truth is that life is probably meaningless. I mean, come on... universe... time... space... gravity... does any of that make any fucking sense? No. hell no. The universe emerged from a space smaller than the head of a pin...? Big bang? WTF?
the only way that human life can have any meaning at all is if they discover some weird multi-dimensional shit with the LHC. Maybe somewhere there is another dimension where life has meaning. But in the context of the universe as we presently know it, hell no. I mean, first off, we missed most of the good stuff. It was billions of years ago that shit was interesting. Now everything is settled down, drifting through space, entropying. And a few billion trillion more years, and whamo, the universe is going to implode again, or dissolve into nothingness or something. WTF.
point being, anyone who believes in GOD is crazy. plum crazy. There is no GOD. I'm not joking when I say this. NO GOD. none. niet! I think the best proof of there being no GOD is people. Look at how dumb people is. Now who is it who most commonly goes on and on about GOD? Answer: People. Dumb people.
Did you think you're dumb? Do you have any idea how completely dumb you are? Of course you don't! You probably believe in GOD too!
well.. what if you're wrong gladi8? What if you're wrong... and you know... odds are that you are wrong. 99.999% of what everyone believes is wrong.
I think that the most fundamental truth is that life is probably meaningless. I mean, come on... universe... time... space... gravity... does any of that make any fucking sense? No. hell no. The universe emerged from a space smaller than the head of a pin...? Big bang? WTF?
the only way that human life can have any meaning at all is if they discover some weird multi-dimensional shit with the LHC. Maybe somewhere there is another dimension where life has meaning. But in the context of the universe as we presently know it, hell no. I mean, first off, we missed most of the good stuff. It was billions of years ago that shit was interesting. Now everything is settled down, drifting through space, entropying. And a few billion trillion more years, and whamo, the universe is going to implode again, or dissolve into nothingness or something. WTF.
point being, anyone who believes in GOD is crazy. plum crazy. There is no GOD. I'm not joking when I say this. NO GOD. none. niet! I think the best proof of there being no GOD is people. Look at how dumb people is. Now who is it who most commonly goes on and on about GOD? Answer: People. Dumb people.
Did you think you're dumb? Do you have any idea how completely dumb you are? Of course you don't! You probably believe in GOD too!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Cry me a fucking river.
the lord
Cry me a fucking river.
the lord
myfirstpost
+0 -0
So... you believe in multi-dimensionalism but... you think that everything IN those dimensions are slaves to the same dimensional capabilities as in our dimension?
You think that a dimension in which a being could exist with the ability to create in the "lower" dimensions and see things (such as time) 3-dimensionally when we cannot view them at all is... dumb.
And... I would assume you believe that all of the things in our dimension came from................................... nowhere... So people who think this stuff came from somewhere are dumb and you are... not dumb.
... I like ellipses. And you are dumb.
So... you believe in multi-dimensionalism but... you think that everything IN those dimensions are slaves to the same dimensional capabilities as in our dimension?
You think that a dimension in which a being could exist with the ability to create in the "lower" dimensions and see things (such as time) 3-dimensionally when we cannot view them at all is... dumb.
And... I would assume you believe that all of the things in our dimension came from................................... nowhere... So people who think this stuff came from somewhere are dumb and you are... not dumb.
... I like ellipses. And you are dumb.
ratacat
+0 -0
no you FUCKING retard I am not dumb I am GOD you fucking NOTHING you yammer on about dimensions but you know not what you yammer on about so SHUT THE HELL UP
no you FUCKING retard I am not dumb I am GOD you fucking NOTHING you yammer on about dimensions but you know not what you yammer on about so SHUT THE HELL UP
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
lol @ u guys. super man is 2 strong super hero i mena he can jus grab and toss 1 mil miles of perp into jail from anywhers in world n if he misses can reverse time n try again. dats y i dont lik super man i lik batman, punisher, blokes wit a taste for justice(/punishment) cuz dey jus as vuln as teh perps they fightin but overcome dat wit grit n wat-not. heck of scrappy
lol @ u guys. super man is 2 strong super hero i mena he can jus grab and toss 1 mil miles of perp into jail from anywhers in world n if he misses can reverse time n try again. dats y i dont lik super man i lik batman, punisher, blokes wit a taste for justice(/punishment) cuz dey jus as vuln as teh perps they fightin but overcome dat wit grit n wat-not. heck of scrappy
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
indeed. its easier to relate to a dude that isnt an alien or the result of a science experiment gone awry.
indeed. its easier to relate to a dude that isnt an alien or the result of a science experiment gone awry.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I entirely agree with you about Superman. 90 percent of his difficulties are caused because he attempts to lead a double life, for reasons that are not entirely clear. However you've got to wonder where you draw the line. Would a disabled superhero (and I don't mean like Daredevil disabled, with crazy compensatory abilities, I mean properly impaired) be better, because they are even more gritty. I think you've got to remember that the whole Superhero genre is at root one of fantasy and wish fulfillment. The problem with Superman is that he caters to our fantasies of being remarkable and unique, but at the cost of our fantasies of being brave and tough. Superman cannot be brave because he is invincible, and he can't be tough because he feels no pain.
I entirely agree with you about Superman. 90 percent of his difficulties are caused because he attempts to lead a double life, for reasons that are not entirely clear. However you've got to wonder where you draw the line. Would a disabled superhero (and I don't mean like Daredevil disabled, with crazy compensatory abilities, I mean properly impaired) be better, because they are even more gritty. I think you've got to remember that the whole Superhero genre is at root one of fantasy and wish fulfillment. The problem with Superman is that he caters to our fantasies of being remarkable and unique, but at the cost of our fantasies of being brave and tough. Superman cannot be brave because he is invincible, and he can't be tough because he feels no pain.
xiaomimi
+0 -0
Perhaps this is the allure of the X-Men, whose remarkable and unique nature is itself made a liability through social factors: a fairly elegant solution to the narrative problem you present.
Perhaps this is the allure of the X-Men, whose remarkable and unique nature is itself made a liability through social factors: a fairly elegant solution to the narrative problem you present.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
chubbied for "properly impaired"
chubbied for "properly impaired"
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
my big beefs is dat teh enemies cannit ever defeat him n eerythin is him whirlin abot swipin' claws at enemies faces til they 'trap' him in kryptonite for a few seconds den he mauls the fuck out of lex lethrer (or whoever) n das dat. onto issue 1087, whereas batman only gots martial training to render him immune n teh enemies e faces tell riddles n shit n u could see teh enemy maybe winning ever if batman aint on his game 100% but supe man could jus phone it in eery mission n never even come close 2 defeat. not cool, not fun
my big beefs is dat teh enemies cannit ever defeat him n eerythin is him whirlin abot swipin' claws at enemies faces til they 'trap' him in kryptonite for a few seconds den he mauls the fuck out of lex lethrer (or whoever) n das dat. onto issue 1087, whereas batman only gots martial training to render him immune n teh enemies e faces tell riddles n shit n u could see teh enemy maybe winning ever if batman aint on his game 100% but supe man could jus phone it in eery mission n never even come close 2 defeat. not cool, not fun
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Superman used to basically only be super strong, apart from x-ray vision and stuff like that. He wasn't invulnerable and could jump so far that he merely appeared to be flying.
I think you would enjoy the older comic books. They changed him into what he is now for tv/movies.
Superman used to basically only be super strong, apart from x-ray vision and stuff like that. He wasn't invulnerable and could jump so far that he merely appeared to be flying.
I think you would enjoy the older comic books. They changed him into what he is now for tv/movies.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You seem to have mistaken Superman for Superocelot.
You seem to have mistaken Superman for Superocelot.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Sounds like you're playing mind games with The Rules, where there is a much simpler "as a child" faith built on love that would suffice, especially on a desert island. Act as a Christian, don't compel Christianity. Model the proper behavior and the theology will follow.
Sorry for the seriousness, but it's Sunday and I skipped church so I'm preaching a little to make up for it, dogg
Sounds like you're playing mind games with The Rules, where there is a much simpler "as a child" faith built on love that would suffice, especially on a desert island. Act as a Christian, don't compel Christianity. Model the proper behavior and the theology will follow.
Sorry for the seriousness, but it's Sunday and I skipped church so I'm preaching a little to make up for it, dogg
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Hatstand's sarcasm makes
a silent whooshing,
flying over the heads
of Sarkoczy and Sandburg.
It sits on silent haunches
looking over their
doofy attempts to be helpful,
- and then moves on.
Hatstand's sarcasm makes
a silent whooshing,
flying over the heads
of Sarkoczy and Sandburg.
It sits on silent haunches
looking over their
doofy attempts to be helpful,
- and then moves on.
ratacat
+0 -0
if you're on a desert island, and you're a catholic, you definitely should not tell the person you're with about Jesus, because you might starve waiting for them to accept Jesus as their lord and savior.
if you're on a desert island, and you're a catholic, you definitely should not tell the person you're with about Jesus, because you might starve waiting for them to accept Jesus as their lord and savior.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
You are not convinced. You are angry.
"YEAH I AM ANGRY. I AM ANGRY AT CHRISTIAN FASCISTS WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH."
You are angry at God for not getting you a bike when you were 9. You are angry at God because Grampa died of cancer. Denying the existence of an entity that clearly MUST exist simply because you don't like said entity is about as useful as me pretending New Jersey just isn't there. The smell came from SOMEWHERE.
You are not convinced. You are angry.
"YEAH I AM ANGRY. I AM ANGRY AT CHRISTIAN FASCISTS WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH."
You are angry at God for not getting you a bike when you were 9. You are angry at God because Grampa died of cancer. Denying the existence of an entity that clearly MUST exist simply because you don't like said entity is about as useful as me pretending New Jersey just isn't there. The smell came from SOMEWHERE.
ratacat
+0 -0
no I'm just saying if you're trapped on a desert island with someone, and you tell that someone about Jesus, now you're screwed, because now you have to wait for that person to accept Jesus before you can eat him/her. The obvious solution is don't tell the person about Jesus so that their error is 'invincible error' as described in the above post by hatstand_mcq. Then you can eat this person at any time with no worries that you are sending the person to hell.
no I'm just saying if you're trapped on a desert island with someone, and you tell that someone about Jesus, now you're screwed, because now you have to wait for that person to accept Jesus before you can eat him/her. The obvious solution is don't tell the person about Jesus so that their error is 'invincible error' as described in the above post by hatstand_mcq. Then you can eat this person at any time with no worries that you are sending the person to hell.
ratacat
+1 -0
You are not convinced. You are angry.
"YEAH I AM ANGRY. I AM ANGRY AT SKEPTIC FASCISTS like James Randi WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH."
You are angry at Space Aliens for not getting you a bike when you were 9. You are angry at Space Aliens because Grampa died of cancer. Denying the existence of Space Aliens that clearly MUST exist simply because you don't like Space Aliens is about as useful as me pretending New Jersey just isn't there. The smell came from SOMEWHERE.
You are not convinced. You are angry.
"YEAH I AM ANGRY. I AM ANGRY AT SKEPTIC FASCISTS like James Randi WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH."
You are angry at Space Aliens for not getting you a bike when you were 9. You are angry at Space Aliens because Grampa died of cancer. Denying the existence of Space Aliens that clearly MUST exist simply because you don't like Space Aliens is about as useful as me pretending New Jersey just isn't there. The smell came from SOMEWHERE.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
(Give it up, he's not a real person)
(Give it up, he's not a real person)
ratacat
+0 -0
if your def of real person is person who is liable to be DUMB then yeah I'm not real like you
if your def of real person is person who is liable to be DUMB then yeah I'm not real like you
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Adorable!
Adorable!
ratacat
+0 -0
get over yourselfe you douche
(I left that typo in there so you could have some meaning in your next post)
get over yourselfe you douche
(I left that typo in there so you could have some meaning in your next post)
myfirstpost
+0 -0
I am seeing that...
I am seeing that...
ratacat
+0 -0
why don't you go pray to god or something
why don't you go pray to god or something
ratacat
+0 -1
A Roman Catholic priest in France says Monsignor Joseph Serge Miot, the archbishop of Port-au-Prince, has died in the Haiti earthquake.
See... this is how much God hates Catholics. God hates Catholics so damn much that he destroyed the entire capital of Haiti just to kill one frickin' Child molestin' Catholic priest. Archbishop. whatever.
A Roman Catholic priest in France says Monsignor Joseph Serge Miot, the archbishop of Port-au-Prince, has died in the Haiti earthquake.
See... this is how much God hates Catholics. God hates Catholics so damn much that he destroyed the entire capital of Haiti just to kill one frickin' Child molestin' Catholic priest. Archbishop. whatever.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You really are a first-class asshole, aren't you.
You really are a first-class asshole, aren't you.
ratacat
+0 -0
asshole? Me? Heavens no. I prefer 'psychopath'
asshole? Me? Heavens no. I prefer 'psychopath'
ratacat
+0 -0
although I guess I'm not a very good psychopath because I do have sympathy and empathy. I definately dig what they are goin through in Haiti right now. this one time I was trying to run a wire through the furnace vents so I tied it to my cat's harness and sent him through but he got stuck somewhere in there and I was very worried with no way to reach him, but then he just wiggled out of his harness. here's hopin the cats are okay in all those collapsed buildings. probably they are bceuase cats is small they can find a spot to hide there is lots of voids in the rubble. hopefully if any cats is trapped they is close enough to a dead person that they can have snack.
although I guess I'm not a very good psychopath because I do have sympathy and empathy. I definately dig what they are goin through in Haiti right now. this one time I was trying to run a wire through the furnace vents so I tied it to my cat's harness and sent him through but he got stuck somewhere in there and I was very worried with no way to reach him, but then he just wiggled out of his harness. here's hopin the cats are okay in all those collapsed buildings. probably they are bceuase cats is small they can find a spot to hide there is lots of voids in the rubble. hopefully if any cats is trapped they is close enough to a dead person that they can have snack.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
most assholes like to think they are psychopaths so there can be something "wrong" with them, thus making it not their fault that they are, in fact, assholes
you, sir, are an asshole. you are NOT a psychopath
most assholes like to think they are psychopaths so there can be something "wrong" with them, thus making it not their fault that they are, in fact, assholes
you, sir, are an asshole. you are NOT a psychopath
ratacat
+0 -0
if I hunt you down and eat your liver, will that help?
if I hunt you down and eat your liver, will that help?
ratacat
+0 -0
come on... give me your area code and prefix. I'll try all 9999 possible phone numbers until I find you. but of course it will be extra hard because when I do find you, you'll pretend not to be you. So you have to be fair and give me a hint. Do you have the voice of a fat negro woman with a lithp? Do you spontaneously and audibly orgasm whenever you hear the words "oscar meyer" and "satan" used in the same sentence? Throw me a bone here.
come on... give me your area code and prefix. I'll try all 9999 possible phone numbers until I find you. but of course it will be extra hard because when I do find you, you'll pretend not to be you. So you have to be fair and give me a hint. Do you have the voice of a fat negro woman with a lithp? Do you spontaneously and audibly orgasm whenever you hear the words "oscar meyer" and "satan" used in the same sentence? Throw me a bone here.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
484-264-5849
484-264-5849
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
EIGHT, SIX, SEVEN, FIVE, THREE-OH-NINE!!
EIGHT, SIX, SEVEN, FIVE, THREE-OH-NINE!!
myfirstpost
+1 -0
It's my real number. I have absolutely no fear whatsoever in giving it out. No d-bag-asshole-wannabe-psychopath has ever used it.
Ever.
It's my real number. I have absolutely no fear whatsoever in giving it out. No d-bag-asshole-wannabe-psychopath has ever used it.
Ever.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well quiet assholey but first-class is giving him too much credit.
Well quiet assholey but first-class is giving him too much credit.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
No, he got the last merit badge he needed with this one.
[IMGS OFF]
No, he got the last merit badge he needed with this one.
[IMGS OFF]
samspud
+0 -1
Bigot.
I sincerely hope you're not really 38 years old.
Bigot.
I sincerely hope you're not really 38 years old.
ratacat
+0 -0
why the negative reactions? I was just doin' my version of 'what is the saddest thing?'
common, humor is the antidote to the harsh and unfortunate realities of life. when did Assetbar turn into some kinda culture where no one is allowed to speak the names of the deceased??
little girls getting run over by dump trucks
etc etc. this shit happens, man. I'm just keepin' it real. maybe god killed the little girl because she was evil. little 6yr old girls can be evil too, man. I bet there was at least one 6yr old nazi girl who killed jews, and enjoyed it too.
why the negative reactions? I was just doin' my version of 'what is the saddest thing?'
common, humor is the antidote to the harsh and unfortunate realities of life. when did Assetbar turn into some kinda culture where no one is allowed to speak the names of the deceased??
little girls getting run over by dump trucks
etc etc. this shit happens, man. I'm just keepin' it real. maybe god killed the little girl because she was evil. little 6yr old girls can be evil too, man. I bet there was at least one 6yr old nazi girl who killed jews, and enjoyed it too.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
So, in other words, bad things happening disproves the existence of any higher being and negates the need for a beginning to or source of our material existence?
You're a fuckin' genius, aren't you?
So, in other words, bad things happening disproves the existence of any higher being and negates the need for a beginning to or source of our material existence?
You're a fuckin' genius, aren't you?
ratacat
+0 -0
no, that's not what I meant to say. I don't really have any argument as to why or how God doesn't exist. No argument beyond, like, duh.
no, that's not what I meant to say. I don't really have any argument as to why or how God doesn't exist. No argument beyond, like, duh.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
we are just pleased as riches to have you aboard.
we are just pleased as riches to have you aboard.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Catholicism is stupid.
Catholicism is stupid.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
Wow, four real "ugh" moments. Pretty good for a 6-paneler.
Wow, four real "ugh" moments. Pretty good for a 6-paneler.
planetidiot
+2 -0
"I hate you in the only way that helps me understand you."
No matter how many times I read this it makes no sense to me at all.
"I hate you in the only way that helps me understand you."
No matter how many times I read this it makes no sense to me at all.
gladi8orrex
+7 -0
gee guys, somethin dont make sense to 'planetidiot' bigwhat a sutrpise
gee guys, somethin dont make sense to 'planetidiot' bigwhat a sutrpise
granularsilica
+0 -0
I'd explain it, but it would take years.
I'd explain it, but it would take years.
planetidiot
+0 -0
it seems like it should read "I only hate you in the way that helps me understand you." or "I hate you only in the way that helps me understand you." which is how I'm interpreting it.
it seems like it should read "I only hate you in the way that helps me understand you." or "I hate you only in the way that helps me understand you." which is how I'm interpreting it.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
gah, this guy jus' doesn't get it, does he? lol...
gah, this guy jus' doesn't get it, does he? lol...
granularsilica
+0 -0
Those variations seem like they're saying the same thing: A particular way to hate that helps you understand someone you also love.
Those variations seem like they're saying the same thing: A particular way to hate that helps you understand someone you also love.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
What would proof of your ANTI-immigration certification status look like? A picture of you waving a Confederate flag and a shotgun?
What would proof of your ANTI-immigration certification status look like? A picture of you waving a Confederate flag and a shotgun?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Holes in yr. linens
Holes in yr. linens
genequagmire
+1 -0
First!
First!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
You really ought to refresh sooner.
You really ought to refresh sooner.
genequagmire
+0 -0
Just when you're sure irony is obvious...
Just when you're sure irony is obvious...
genequagmire
+0 -0
Or maybe it is! Touche.
Or maybe it is! Touche.
daidai
+0 -0
This is actually a hauntingly ironic comment
This is actually a hauntingly ironic comment
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ironically haunting to some.
Ironically haunting to some.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Just an observation for you frist-hunters out there -- the latest iteration of assetbarrista requires you to "preview" your post first. This adds precious seconds to your reaction time.
Just an observation for you frist-hunters out there -- the latest iteration of assetbarrista requires you to "preview" your post first. This adds precious seconds to your reaction time.
fattypneumonia
+3 -0
Spot on, Spaulding. I'm tired of these frist-hunters, too:
[IMGS OFF]
(famous "Frist-hunter" Bill with his Frist-hunter sons Brian, Harrison & Jonathan)
Spot on, Spaulding. I'm tired of these frist-hunters, too:
[IMGS OFF]
(famous "Frist-hunter" Bill with his Frist-hunter sons Brian, Harrison & Jonathan)
theirateturk
+0 -0
Good thing this comic will be valid in 3 days!
Good thing this comic will be valid in 3 days!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Much like a broken clock is correct twice a day.
Much like a broken clock is correct twice a day.
granularsilica
+1 -0
I read that at first as "broken cock."
I read that at first as "broken cock."
i_love_kate
+1 -0
If your cock is correct only twice a day, seek medical attention.
If your cock is correct only twice a day, seek medical attention.
ratacat
+0 -0
Year of Publication: 1998
ABSTRACT
Efficient graph search is a central issue in many aspects of AI. In most of existing work there is a distinction between the active %u201Csearcher%u201D, which both executes the algorithm and holds the memory, and the passive %u201Csearched graph%u201D, over which the searcher has no control at all. Large dynamic networks like the Internet, where the nodes are powerful computers and the links have narrow bandwidth and are heavily‐loaded, call for a different paradigm, in which most of the burden of computing and memorizing is moved from the searching agent to the nodes of the network. In this paper we suggest a method for searching an undirected, connected graph using the Vertex‐Ant‐Walk method, where an a(ge)nt walks along the edges of a graph G, occasionally leaving %u201Cpheromone%u201D traces at nodes, and using those traces to guide its exploration. We show that the ant can cover the graph within time \mathrm{O}(nd), where n is the number of vertices and d the diameter of G. The use of traces achieves a trade‐off between random and self‐avoiding walks, as it dictates a lower priority for already‐visited neighbors. Further properties of the suggested method are: (a) modularity: a group of searching agents, each applying the same protocol, can cooperate on a mission of covering a graph with minimal explicit communication between them; (b) possible convergence to a limit cycle: a Hamiltonian path in G (if one exists) is a possible limit cycle of the process.
REFERENCES
Note: OCR errors may be found in this Reference List extracted from the full text article. ACM has opted to expose the complete List rather than only correct and linked references.
so basically, it's 1998, and these geniuses are OCRing printouts of computer files.
Year of Publication: 1998
ABSTRACT
Efficient graph search is a central issue in many aspects of AI. In most of existing work there is a distinction between the active %u201Csearcher%u201D, which both executes the algorithm and holds the memory, and the passive %u201Csearched graph%u201D, over which the searcher has no control at all. Large dynamic networks like the Internet, where the nodes are powerful computers and the links have narrow bandwidth and are heavily‐loaded, call for a different paradigm, in which most of the burden of computing and memorizing is moved from the searching agent to the nodes of the network. In this paper we suggest a method for searching an undirected, connected graph using the Vertex‐Ant‐Walk method, where an a(ge)nt walks along the edges of a graph G, occasionally leaving %u201Cpheromone%u201D traces at nodes, and using those traces to guide its exploration. We show that the ant can cover the graph within time \mathrm{O}(nd), where n is the number of vertices and d the diameter of G. The use of traces achieves a trade‐off between random and self‐avoiding walks, as it dictates a lower priority for already‐visited neighbors. Further properties of the suggested method are: (a) modularity: a group of searching agents, each applying the same protocol, can cooperate on a mission of covering a graph with minimal explicit communication between them; (b) possible convergence to a limit cycle: a Hamiltonian path in G (if one exists) is a possible limit cycle of the process.
REFERENCES
Note: OCR errors may be found in this Reference List extracted from the full text article. ACM has opted to expose the complete List rather than only correct and linked references.
so basically, it's 1998, and these geniuses are OCRing printouts of computer files.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
tldr
tldr
ratacat
+2 -0
tldr
tldr
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
tldr
tldr
i_love_kate
+0 -0
tsda
tsda
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ts;dc
ts;dc
snuffysmith
+0 -0
stfu
stfu
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
imho; wtf? lol.
imho; wtf? lol.
ratacat
+0 -0
grrr
grrr
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
(sorry, tekende.)
[IMGS OFF]
(sorry, tekende.)
hardelicious
+0 -0
C'est Wednesday.
C'est Wednesday.
nodal
+2 -2
I'm trying something. Shorter comics, less often.
I'm trying something. Shorter comics, less often.
plummet
+0 -0
The joke is that Onstad lures Assetbarbarians with his grandiose claims, and then fails to deliver on his wondrous promises as always.
oh onstrad, you troll me.
You troll me so hard.
You troll me like I'm your little bitch-boy slave.
You troll me....
...until I am SO trolled
- ODE TO ONSTAND
by plummet
The joke is that Onstad lures Assetbarbarians with his grandiose claims, and then fails to deliver on his wondrous promises as always.
oh onstrad, you troll me.
You troll me so hard.
You troll me like I'm your little bitch-boy slave.
You troll me....
...until I am SO trolled
- ODE TO ONSTAND
by plummet
gladi8orrex
+3 -1
fuck you
tired o these motha fuckers pissin n moanin he is produce of a high quality eery fukcin time he make a strip dats y peeps come back not because he posts somethin eeryday. god do you even realize how selfish n unrealistic u r? do you really fink e has storerooms of strips he "just isnt posting" to spite u?
teh man'll post up when its done dont be a fucker. lamed
fuck you
tired o these motha fuckers pissin n moanin he is produce of a high quality eery fukcin time he make a strip dats y peeps come back not because he posts somethin eeryday. god do you even realize how selfish n unrealistic u r? do you really fink e has storerooms of strips he "just isnt posting" to spite u?
teh man'll post up when its done dont be a fucker. lamed
plummet
+0 -0
>do you really fink e has storerooms of strips he "just isnt posting" to spite u?
He doesn't?
OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN LIED TO
>do you really fink e has storerooms of strips he "just isnt posting" to spite u?
He doesn't?
OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN LIED TO
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
he said "try".
he said "try".
granularsilica
+0 -0
In this quiet period, I thought I would explain, for those who don't get it, what my online name means: Sand.
Then you look at the picture, and if you took any American Lit classes, poetry division, you recognize the Chicago poet, Carl Sand______ (fill in the blank)
The hand/face thing is from long ago in a discussion far away (on Assetbar: Handface Weekend).
In this quiet period, I thought I would explain, for those who don't get it, what my online name means: Sand.
Then you look at the picture, and if you took any American Lit classes, poetry division, you recognize the Chicago poet, Carl Sand______ (fill in the blank)
The hand/face thing is from long ago in a discussion far away (on Assetbar: Handface Weekend).
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hey. I still don't get it.
Hey. I still don't get it.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Carl Sand______ ....bone?
Carl Sand______ ....bone?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
..d?
..d?
mensch
+0 -0
I figured out Sandburg the moment I saw your avatar. The meaning of hamscout took a year though (embarrassingly).
I figured out Sandburg the moment I saw your avatar. The meaning of hamscout took a year though (embarrassingly).
mensch
+0 -0
Oh, and I just figured out the genesis of "nice-on-water" above .
Oh, and I just figured out the genesis of "nice-on-water" above .
granularsilica
+0 -0
Do tell, I have no clue ... a boat?
And I would have never gotten hamscout.
Do tell, I have no clue ... a boat?
And I would have never gotten hamscout.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told
I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told
granularsilica
+0 -0
Well there's the reason -- I've never read that strip. There was a dark period where I thought free access was gone and didn't bother logging on. Now I'm going to act out on some red wine.
Well there's the reason -- I've never read that strip. There was a dark period where I thought free access was gone and didn't bother logging on. Now I'm going to act out on some red wine.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There ya go.
There ya go.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
When I made that I thought it was a lot more self-explanatory than it actually seems to be. It's apparently way more cryptic than I ever intended.
Yours, however, is quite plain. You're a mensch. A real mensch.
When I made that I thought it was a lot more self-explanatory than it actually seems to be. It's apparently way more cryptic than I ever intended.
Yours, however, is quite plain. You're a mensch. A real mensch.
granularsilica
+0 -0
It's sort of test of the educational system in the States -- do they still teach Sandburg? And I love the shot (I've still got hair, sort of like him, not as white yet), and the poetry.
It's sort of test of the educational system in the States -- do they still teach Sandburg? And I love the shot (I've still got hair, sort of like him, not as white yet), and the poetry.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I haven't been taught Sandburg, and I'm an English major. I had a very general American Lit II (say Gilded Age to now) that ignored some pretty awesome writers (Salinger, Vonnegut, Pynchon, Oates, Carver, basically anyone who's anyone) in favor of immigrant/minority writers. The closest thing we had to Sandburg was Williams Carlos Williams, or as I like to call him, DubCDub.
I haven't been taught Sandburg, and I'm an English major. I had a very general American Lit II (say Gilded Age to now) that ignored some pretty awesome writers (Salinger, Vonnegut, Pynchon, Oates, Carver, basically anyone who's anyone) in favor of immigrant/minority writers. The closest thing we had to Sandburg was Williams Carlos Williams, or as I like to call him, DubCDub.
harvestgold
+0 -0
You are the Linda Richman of Assetbar. I appreciate that.
You are the Linda Richman of Assetbar. I appreciate that.
granularsilica
+0 -0
"I'm a little verklempt..Talk amongst yourselves
"I'm a little verklempt..Talk amongst yourselves
mr-siegal
+1 -0
Thank you, thank you, thank you! If you only knew the nights I've lain awake agonising over this conundrum.
The best I could come up with was George, or the famous South Australian saint to be, Mary McSandgroper; I never considered Carl Sandstorm at all!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! If you only knew the nights I've lain awake agonising over this conundrum.
The best I could come up with was George, or the famous South Australian saint to be, Mary McSandgroper; I never considered Carl Sandstorm at all!
granularsilica
+0 -0
Like chum to sharks. Nice to hear from you all. V-chubs all around. Now I need a nap.
Like chum to sharks. Nice to hear from you all. V-chubs all around. Now I need a nap.
cpnglxynchos
+3 -0
WHAT (the last one) WOULD LOOK LIKE:
[IMGS OFF]
WHAT (the last one) WOULD LOOK LIKE:
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Imagine Roast Beef perched on top of that, just crying his little eyes out.
Imagine Roast Beef perched on top of that, just crying his little eyes out.
granularsilica
+0 -0
I once farted like that. Knocked down a small town,
I once farted like that. Knocked down a small town,
granularsilica
+0 -0
Thursday p.m., eh? I will hold my peace til midnight, then let fly if we are not served well by this ar-teest.
Thursday p.m., eh? I will hold my peace til midnight, then let fly if we are not served well by this ar-teest.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I'll just check the site Saturday morning and save myself the hassle.
I'll just check the site Saturday morning and save myself the hassle.
spazdor
+0 -0
What ever , Holmes. It's go time, they down to the wire, this is suspense like in 24 and we are here at ground zero, watching it all go down. Tonight we will find out whether malcontented fanatics will bitch. Don't tell me this isn't a thing.
What ever , Holmes. It's go time, they down to the wire, this is suspense like in 24 and we are here at ground zero, watching it all go down. Tonight we will find out whether malcontented fanatics will bitch. Don't tell me this isn't a thing.
genequagmire
+2 -0
Last!
Last!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It is good to have goals.
It is good to have goals.
vance
+0 -0
That last panel is an anthem for women everywhere.
I'm making damn well sure my girlfriend doesn't see it.
That last panel is an anthem for women everywhere.
I'm making damn well sure my girlfriend doesn't see it.
aristagoras
+0 -0
In 2011, a Minnesota-area ska band will rename itself from "Chunky Chunky Chicken" to "Catholic Strategy Gus."
In 2011, a Minnesota-area ska band will rename itself from "Chunky Chunky Chicken" to "Catholic Strategy Gus."
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
ska is dead
ska is dead
I always love my friday dose of toilet humour, Thankyou Onstad. Thankyou Roastbeef.
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Jetbunny, Ctrl_Z, Lohninck)
Can't be Catholic clergy if he's married. Odds are "Catholic Strategy Guy Gus" is an anti-abortion lobbyist.
Well...not GUS
But whatever the clergy do they sure keeps it under their frock.
However,
flagrantly fornicating fathers face de-frocking by the fuming flock fed-up with faggotry.
whats dis? f for fruschetta??...
Catholic Strategy Gus is the pope's go-to guy for sluts.
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Ariamaki, hobit, mr-siegal, Lohninck)
I don't know about the others, but I lamed you because I find it easier to go along with the crowd.
Also because you're drunk and I'm sober, and I'm not happy with that.
deus, have you tried being better?
HAVE YOU!?
His name is now Rosbif
No. Fuck you.
yes. Tofuckyou.
Urgh, I thought 'milt' might have been a typo of 'milk' (which would have been bad enough). But I had to go and check:
Milt is the seminal fluid of fish, mollusks, and certain other water-dwelling animals who reproduce by spraying this fluid, which contains the sperm, onto roe (fish eggs).
Milt as food
Milt or soft roe also refers to the male genitalia of fish when they contain sperm, used as food.
In many cuisines, milt is served fried.
In Russian cuisine, herring milt is pickled the same way as the rest of the fish, but eaten separately, sometimes combined with pickled herring roe.
In Japanese cuisine, the milt (shirako 'white children') of cod (tara), anglerfish (anko) and pufferfish (fugu) are a delicacy.
I say again: urgh.
I just ate a crape and I
JIZZED
IN
MY PANS.
I'll fry that up, nothin' wrong with me
You know in Japan this is a delicacy?
Boil it, steam it, fried or blanched
When I
JIZZ
IN
MY PANS.
ah.. godd.. don't want .. to chubby.. but am forced to ... because i lol'd damnit must resit... shit.
FIRST lame!
"You are, the one and only!"
At least so far.
dude why did you do that
I agree, urgh (reverse python inducement)
Urgh indeed.
hey guess what? chickenbutt
A homo says what?
what?
What?
Wait?
aw frig