henrythecad
+2 -2
I can't wait till someone explains the fuck out of this.
I can't wait till someone explains the fuck out of this.
boredom_man
+2 -0
Googling Hyderabad was not comforting.
Googling Hyderabad was not comforting.
falseprophet
+4 -1
It makes sense for Roast Beef to feel threatened/enticed by a prostitute from India because that is where his IT job could end up someday. Instead of bangin a website he'd be bangin the sister of the dude who created a website that he should've created and I'd imagine that to be hella satisfying.
It makes sense for Roast Beef to feel threatened/enticed by a prostitute from India because that is where his IT job could end up someday. Instead of bangin a website he'd be bangin the sister of the dude who created a website that he should've created and I'd imagine that to be hella satisfying.
unfun
+139 -0
As far as I can tell: there was going to be a Roast Beef prostitute strip similar to the Ray one, but the Achewood machine malfunctioned, so Beef just looks around aimlessly and whatever small animal he was supposed to bang is horribly deformed. The person who operates the Achewood machine decides to blame the error on poor Indian manufacturing.
That doesn't really help, does it?
As far as I can tell: there was going to be a Roast Beef prostitute strip similar to the Ray one, but the Achewood machine malfunctioned, so Beef just looks around aimlessly and whatever small animal he was supposed to bang is horribly deformed. The person who operates the Achewood machine decides to blame the error on poor Indian manufacturing.
That doesn't really help, does it?
will_grizzly
+1 -0
Actually, that helps a lot.
Actually, that helps a lot.
spectre
+2 -0
I got there myself, re-reading the strip. It is helpful to see that you found your way to the same place. I think this is one of those meta-strips where Onstad metaphorically exposes the mentla process of creating an Achewood strip.
I got there myself, re-reading the strip. It is helpful to see that you found your way to the same place. I think this is one of those meta-strips where Onstad metaphorically exposes the mentla process of creating an Achewood strip.
factorial
+0 -0
A comment left by factorial was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Afterward, Deusoma, lamelliform, Endquote, atticusonline, Cracklewater, fattypneumonia, TheLastWhiteMan, I_Love_Kate)
A comment left by factorial was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Afterward, Deusoma, lamelliform, Endquote, atticusonline, Cracklewater, fattypneumonia, TheLastWhiteMan, I_Love_Kate)
henrythecad
+0 -0
That's actually the most coherent thing i've heard thus far. Just look that thing.. it looks like some teleporter fucked up big time. Spiny is on point too, with this strip being one in a series of Rorschach ink blot tests. If so, i'm not anticipating Téodor's turn. Dude has issues.
That's actually the most coherent thing i've heard thus far. Just look that thing.. it looks like some teleporter fucked up big time. Spiny is on point too, with this strip being one in a series of Rorschach ink blot tests. If so, i'm not anticipating Téodor's turn. Dude has issues.
spinynorman
+6 -0
Yeah, I think the Achewood machine is on the fritz and is pulling stock characteristics of both characters and horribly jumbling them with complete insanity.
It doesn't help that the "Ache" on the machine looks a lot like "Acme." That threw me for a bit.
Yeah, I think the Achewood machine is on the fritz and is pulling stock characteristics of both characters and horribly jumbling them with complete insanity.
It doesn't help that the "Ache" on the machine looks a lot like "Acme." That threw me for a bit.
peterjoel
+4 -0
I took it to mean that Beef's imagination is so shockingly depressing that he broke Achewood...
I took it to mean that Beef's imagination is so shockingly depressing that he broke Achewood...
evolume
+0 -0
I thought it said "Acme" as well.
I thought it said "Acme" as well.
professorhazard
+1 -0
Heck, I know what it says now, and I still think it says "ACME"!
Heck, I know what it says now, and I still think it says "ACME"!
retinarow
+0 -0
I didn't see it until you all mentioned it and now I can't not see it either.
I didn't see it until you all mentioned it and now I can't not see it either.
norrin
+0 -0
On my first read I thought it said "Acme Wood" machine and that it was some reference to Beef not being able to get i tup.
On my first read I thought it said "Acme Wood" machine and that it was some reference to Beef not being able to get i tup.
merlmabase
+0 -0
ACME WOOD - THE LEVITRA OF YESTERYEAR
ACME WOOD - THE LEVITRA OF YESTERYEAR
dovey
+20 -0
ACME WOOD- A MOMENTARY DIVERSION ON THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM OF A GORGE
ACME WOOD- A MOMENTARY DIVERSION ON THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM OF A GORGE
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*beep-beep*
*beep-beep*
woodenteeth
+0 -0
*meep-meep* even
*meep-meep* even
contrasoma
+7 -0
Agreed. Robert Smith's head on Selma Hayek's body, asking all manner of probing questions about why he's forgotten to send Christmas cards to his parents three years running.
Agreed. Robert Smith's head on Selma Hayek's body, asking all manner of probing questions about why he's forgotten to send Christmas cards to his parents three years running.
spinynorman
+120 -1
Man, what would Nice Pete's look like.
I think it would just be him sitting on a wooden stool in a cinderblock room holding a stick over an oil can fire, dangling a spider over the greedy flames from the end of the branch and watching its legs collapse like broken fingers.
Then he hears a voice say, "Pete? Pete? I'm a prostitute."
He looks up and the moon's out the window, crossing the old broken fence making its shattered segments look like the spine of some ancient decayed creature lying askew in the weedy fields. It comes and stands beneath the tree and says, "Womanflesh. Bitchflesh."
And Pete tosses the stick in the fire and walks to the door and he looks at the moon and he sees a face in it, swollen and dumb and luminescent, and Pete says, "I bet you smell like honey. I bet you smell like honey, sweet and fragrant."
And the moon says, "Waters deeps. Waterings it deepenings. Down to where tree-limbs dig down and eaterings things all dead inside."
And Pete says, "I'm going to water it. I got to water it. I'm gonna."
And then the gray rain starts.
Man, what would Nice Pete's look like.
I think it would just be him sitting on a wooden stool in a cinderblock room holding a stick over an oil can fire, dangling a spider over the greedy flames from the end of the branch and watching its legs collapse like broken fingers.
Then he hears a voice say, "Pete? Pete? I'm a prostitute."
He looks up and the moon's out the window, crossing the old broken fence making its shattered segments look like the spine of some ancient decayed creature lying askew in the weedy fields. It comes and stands beneath the tree and says, "Womanflesh. Bitchflesh."
And Pete tosses the stick in the fire and walks to the door and he looks at the moon and he sees a face in it, swollen and dumb and luminescent, and Pete says, "I bet you smell like honey. I bet you smell like honey, sweet and fragrant."
And the moon says, "Waters deeps. Waterings it deepenings. Down to where tree-limbs dig down and eaterings things all dead inside."
And Pete says, "I'm going to water it. I got to water it. I'm gonna."
And then the gray rain starts.
professorhazard
+6 -0
The preceding message was paid for by the Gehenna Arts Council .
The preceding message was paid for by the Gehenna Arts Council .
spinynorman
+7 -0
Actually that is probably just Pete's average Thursday night.
Actually that is probably just Pete's average Thursday night.
farqussus
+7 -0
I really hope you're using your words somewhere better than this. For God's sake please don't let this be your only creative outlet, because your obituary will not feature a chubby count.
I really hope you're using your words somewhere better than this. For God's sake please don't let this be your only creative outlet, because your obituary will not feature a chubby count.
cpnglxynchos
+30 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hbaranov
+0 -2
Then nobody will understand him
/angst.
Then nobody will understand him
/angst.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this would have been so much funnier with several 'o's instead of only one.
this would have been so much funnier with several 'o's instead of only one.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Working on it.
Working on it.
killingthejay
+0 -0
why are you not writing your own strip?
why are you not writing your own strip?
ford
+0 -0
Jesus Christ.
Just...Jesus Tap-dancing Christ
Jesus Christ.
Just...Jesus Tap-dancing Christ
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you...you made it your avatar...
...i..i feel honored.
you...you made it your avatar...
...i..i feel honored.
ford
+0 -0
I seriously just found it last night, i should check back more often. I probably would have done so immediately.
BTW, your reply from like four weeks ago (where you posted the image) seemed to indicate that you did not recognize the man in the image. He is Bill Hicks, and if you have never listened to his comedy you really should. Then again, he died in 1994, so maybe you're familiar and just never saw a photo. Just gotta make sure.
I seriously just found it last night, i should check back more often. I probably would have done so immediately.
BTW, your reply from like four weeks ago (where you posted the image) seemed to indicate that you did not recognize the man in the image. He is Bill Hicks, and if you have never listened to his comedy you really should. Then again, he died in 1994, so maybe you're familiar and just never saw a photo. Just gotta make sure.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...i definitely don't remember anything like that.
but then, i have a cold which makes me feel such as i've had half a train dropped on me.
*stifles a sob and begins to back tread the archive*
...i definitely don't remember anything like that.
but then, i have a cold which makes me feel such as i've had half a train dropped on me.
*stifles a sob and begins to back tread the archive*
ford
+0 -0
Just so we're clear, are you or are you not familiar with Mr. Hicks?
Just so we're clear, are you or are you not familiar with Mr. Hicks?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
after trawling, i found it was Harper's where i made that avi. dang but that could have been less painless. ah well. some good times with y'all have been had. that was fun that was had.
but to answer your Hicks question, no, i am not. soon as i find a decent connection to these interwebnets, i will find some youtubey Hickness. huzzah.
after trawling, i found it was Harper's where i made that avi. dang but that could have been less painless. ah well. some good times with y'all have been had. that was fun that was had.
but to answer your Hicks question, no, i am not. soon as i find a decent connection to these interwebnets, i will find some youtubey Hickness. huzzah.
dovey
+1 -0
Welcome to good times.
In somewhat related news, I'm getting a Bill Hicks tattoo in two weeks!
Welcome to good times.
In somewhat related news, I'm getting a Bill Hicks tattoo in two weeks!
dovey
+0 -0
What.
What.
spectre
+0 -0
Oh, if I but had a chubby left . . . here, have a skinny.
Oh, if I but had a chubby left . . . here, have a skinny.
scraggg
+0 -0
I meant to chubby this. Honest.
Sorry to break the streak, champ.
I meant to chubby this. Honest.
Sorry to break the streak, champ.
zaratustra
+1 -0
have you seen Eraserhead
have you seen Eraserhead
em2
+7 -1
On par if not better.
[IMGS OFF]
On par if not better.
[IMGS OFF]
mashuren
+0 -0
I always thought the Cartilage Head storyline was inspired by the lady in the radiator.
I don't know why, they're not very similar, I just get the same feeling of general malaise from both of them.
I always thought the Cartilage Head storyline was inspired by the lady in the radiator.
I don't know why, they're not very similar, I just get the same feeling of general malaise from both of them.
tenthman
+0 -0
the first thing i thought was "Eraserhead"
the first thing i thought was "Eraserhead"
linning
+2 -0
The first thing I thought of was probably an incipient soup of malformed organs and translucent bones. Then my thoughts turned to the Frog-Prince from the Simpsons Harry Potter Halloween Episode.
"Please kill me. Every moment that I live is pure agony."
The first thing I thought of was probably an incipient soup of malformed organs and translucent bones. Then my thoughts turned to the Frog-Prince from the Simpsons Harry Potter Halloween Episode.
"Please kill me. Every moment that I live is pure agony."
spectre
+1 -0
I prefer Flycatcher, newly-minted King of Haven. (Every fable is welcome in Haven, But you have to renounce the Fabletown Compact because Fly's word is LAW.)
I prefer Flycatcher, newly-minted King of Haven. (Every fable is welcome in Haven, But you have to renounce the Fabletown Compact because Fly's word is LAW.)
linning
+0 -0
Hey, suits me fine, I've been stuck on the dang Farm for two centuries now with only Renard for good conversation. Have you ever tried maintaing a conversation with retarded cutlery?
Hey, suits me fine, I've been stuck on the dang Farm for two centuries now with only Renard for good conversation. Have you ever tried maintaing a conversation with retarded cutlery?
spectre
+0 -0
I feel your pain, dude, and don't forget the anthropomorphic playing cards -- they are, like, the worst.
On the other hand, there IS the "magic mirror" in Rose Red's shower.
I feel your pain, dude, and don't forget the anthropomorphic playing cards -- they are, like, the worst.
On the other hand, there IS the "magic mirror" in Rose Red's shower.
unsentletter
+0 -0
Fables = <3
Fables = <3
norrin
+0 -0
I say that whenever anyone asks me how I am doing. Some laugh. Some think I'm serious.
I say that whenever anyone asks me how I am doing. Some laugh. Some think I'm serious.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i have had whoper
i have had whoper
professorhazard
+12 -1
erasherhead is good but hav u wacthd dude wehres my car
erasherhead is good but hav u wacthd dude wehres my car
ford
+1 -0
"And here you can see we've unearthed the evolutionary precursor to gladi8orrex. All sorts of exciting things are coming to light here at the assetbar archaeological dig."
"And here you can see we've unearthed the evolutionary precursor to gladi8orrex. All sorts of exciting things are coming to light here at the assetbar archaeological dig."
tsume454
+1 -0
Does anyone else find this recent malaise vaguely reminiscient of the ending of Hertzfeldt's cartoon short "Rejected"? Obviously, I'm really hoping it doesn't go in that direction.
Does anyone else find this recent malaise vaguely reminiscient of the ending of Hertzfeldt's cartoon short "Rejected"? Obviously, I'm really hoping it doesn't go in that direction.
nutmeg
+0 -0
tomorrow (today), Onstad announces his "state of the union." we'll see.
tomorrow (today), Onstad announces his "state of the union." we'll see.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Begs the question, is the Achewood generator, simply a machine, or is it worse, software?
Begs the question, is the Achewood generator, simply a machine, or is it worse, software?
boopy
+0 -0
that does help.
that poor animal is nothing but vagina, anus, hand, and wet shiny skin.
that does help.
that poor animal is nothing but vagina, anus, hand, and wet shiny skin.
spinynorman
+40 -0
Prostitute woes, bros. Prostitute woes.
The prostitute is different for everyone. The manner in which it horrifies and disgusts you reflects an issue with your inner self.
Ray is often insensitive and inconsiderate, and sexually permissive, and often winds up being shamed for these things.
Beef usually expects the world to be a grotesque and undignified horror, filled with rules and regulations and aggravations that complicate every second of his life.
That or yes, the Achewood machine is broken.
Prostitute woes, bros. Prostitute woes.
The prostitute is different for everyone. The manner in which it horrifies and disgusts you reflects an issue with your inner self.
Ray is often insensitive and inconsiderate, and sexually permissive, and often winds up being shamed for these things.
Beef usually expects the world to be a grotesque and undignified horror, filled with rules and regulations and aggravations that complicate every second of his life.
That or yes, the Achewood machine is broken.
falseprophet
+3 -1
My first interpretation was that the prostitute was actually some kind of demon space robot sent to Achewood to collect data on the two winners of The Great Outdoor Fight but if Onstad wants to be all breakin the fourth wall hell who am I to stand in his way?
My first interpretation was that the prostitute was actually some kind of demon space robot sent to Achewood to collect data on the two winners of The Great Outdoor Fight but if Onstad wants to be all breakin the fourth wall hell who am I to stand in his way?
wittyname
+0 -0
And Roast Beef looks on at this abomination with an unchanged expression. This frightens me so much.
And Roast Beef looks on at this abomination with an unchanged expression. This frightens me so much.
professorhazard
+0 -0
If I'm not mistaken, his unchanging expression is what tipped Onstad off about the machine being broken.
If I'm not mistaken, his unchanging expression is what tipped Onstad off about the machine being broken.
wittyname
+0 -0
A comment left by wittyname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, Thorfinn, woodenteeth, Cracklewater, DrSkradley, lemnlime2, lateadopter, Dallovich)
A comment left by wittyname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, Thorfinn, woodenteeth, Cracklewater, DrSkradley, lemnlime2, lateadopter, Dallovich)
streever
+2 -1
I didn't think it was that hard......! It seemed pretty simple, after 3 seconds of thought (and reading the alt text!)
I didn't think it was that hard......! It seemed pretty simple, after 3 seconds of thought (and reading the alt text!)
farqussus
+0 -0
Agreed.
Agreed.
spinynorman
+13 -0
This strip conveyed the shit out of itself.
This strip conveyed the shit out of itself.
streever
+0 -0
mutual admiration chubbies big guy?
mutual admiration chubbies big guy?
streever
+0 -0
oops i meant to do italics
sorry
oops i meant to do italics
sorry
ford
+1 -0
I cannot stop giving chubbies to spinynorman.
I cannot stop giving chubbies to spinynorman.
tekende
+0 -0
"I can't stop chuuuubbying youuuuu
I've made up my miiiiinnd..."
"I can't stop chuuuubbying youuuuu
I've made up my miiiiinnd..."
drskradley
+1 -0
I have not given out too many chubbies. Assetbar is a lying, lying fool. You deserve that chubby which I cannot give. Life is tragic, but I know you understand.
I have not given out too many chubbies. Assetbar is a lying, lying fool. You deserve that chubby which I cannot give. Life is tragic, but I know you understand.
streever
+0 -0
I won't stop crying until the rain starts to fall. But I will chubby you. I will chubby you like THIS .
I won't stop crying until the rain starts to fall. But I will chubby you. I will chubby you like THIS .
farqussus
+2 -0
italics ! BOLD ! UUUNNNDDEEERRRLLIIIIINNNNNEE!!
italics ! BOLD ! UUUNNNDDEEERRRLLIIIIINNNNNEE!!
thorfinn
+2 -0
italics bold underline strikethrough
ethelthefrog
+0 -2
This strip conveyed your mom.
This strip conveyed your mom.
ethelthefrog
+2 -0
... to my house. Last night.
... to my house. Last night.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...for dinner. and pleasant conversation.
...for dinner. and pleasant conversation.
catgrl131
+1 -0
then boning?
then boning?
dovey
+0 -0
..like, six times!
..like, six times!
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Seven-kinky!
Seven-kinky!
streever
+0 -0
My mom is so poorly conveyed.
My mom is so poorly conveyed.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
That is exactly what I thought, too. They were terrible monsters or whatever, and they're looking for money too. The kid is mixed race, though. Just a mix of alien races. And it IS exciting.
That is exactly what I thought, too. They were terrible monsters or whatever, and they're looking for money too. The kid is mixed race, though. Just a mix of alien races. And it IS exciting.
tombsgrave
+1 -0
The thoughts of Ray and Beef participating in an interplanetary martial arts tournament (that is to say "redass beatdown") as Earth's mightiest fighters appeals to me in a way nothing should ever appeal to me again after I realized, at age 12, that Dragonball Z was basically the same episode on repeat with slight name changes and property damage upped by 1.
The thoughts of Ray and Beef participating in an interplanetary martial arts tournament (that is to say "redass beatdown") as Earth's mightiest fighters appeals to me in a way nothing should ever appeal to me again after I realized, at age 12, that Dragonball Z was basically the same episode on repeat with slight name changes and property damage upped by 1.
drskradley
+6 -0
I don't know what the fuck is going on, and I love it.
The Achewood machine has broken. Onstad has broken the fifth wall.
I don't know what the fuck is going on, and I love it.
The Achewood machine has broken. Onstad has broken the fifth wall.
drskradley
+1 -0
The reality of a cat tripping balls is not as cool.
Warning: It's fucked. No, really. Fucked. Up.
The reality of a cat tripping balls is not as cool.
Warning: It's fucked. No, really. Fucked. Up.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
eh. my cat, its fuckin nuts with no lsd
eh. my cat, its fuckin nuts with no lsd
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
LSD: my anti-drug!
oh wait, right. never mind.
LSD: my anti-drug!
oh wait, right. never mind.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Interesting interpretation. However, I don't think of Ray as the sort of dude that is often shamed at all. Ray's shame on Friday was singular in that respect. Maybe Onstad is simply telling us that the hiring of a prostitute is a transaction fraught with opportunities for self-reflection. For some such as Ray, an opportunity for self-reflection is not an opportunity that should be passed, but usually is. Your interpretation of Beef's interaction today is spot-on.
Interesting interpretation. However, I don't think of Ray as the sort of dude that is often shamed at all. Ray's shame on Friday was singular in that respect. Maybe Onstad is simply telling us that the hiring of a prostitute is a transaction fraught with opportunities for self-reflection. For some such as Ray, an opportunity for self-reflection is not an opportunity that should be passed, but usually is. Your interpretation of Beef's interaction today is spot-on.
cousinted
+0 -0
A comment left by cousinted was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by trapperjohn, lemnlime2, freelancelove)
A comment left by cousinted was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by trapperjohn, lemnlime2, freelancelove)
ryabovsky
+0 -0
Whenever I'm left scratching my head two strips in a row, I know that something truly awesome is coming.
Whenever I'm left scratching my head two strips in a row, I know that something truly awesome is coming.
graft
+0 -0
i'm a little worried about what beef was thinking when he saw panel 8
i'm a little worried about what beef was thinking when he saw panel 8
baryonyx
+3 -0
"God, she's not at all what I wanted..."
"God, she's not at all what I wanted..."
stormagnet
+0 -0
But then again, I think it's at least safe to assume that something that boneless can't have scoliosis...
But then again, I think it's at least safe to assume that something that boneless can't have scoliosis...
snick
+0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.
Comment left by snick ignored.
professorhazard
+0 -0
A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, lawbot, mattfish, shownomercy, DirePhoenix, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, lawbot, mattfish, shownomercy, DirePhoenix, Panserbjorne)
lateadopter
+0 -0
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, Deusoma, scraggg)
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, Deusoma, scraggg)
tekende
+11 -0
The plural of clitoris is:
clitorides
This has been your moment of reporductive organ grammar knowledge.
The plural of clitoris is:
clitorides
This has been your moment of reporductive organ grammar knowledge.
achilleselbow
+4 -1
That sounds like the name of some hero from The Iliad, or perhaps a play by Aristophanes.
That sounds like the name of some hero from The Iliad, or perhaps a play by Aristophanes.
professorhazard
+54 -1
Clitorides! What news from the north?
Clitorides! What news from the north?
usversusthem
+0 -0
This works for "Riders of Rohan," too. Also, "the mark." Although I don't really know how they would have had news from the mark, in retrospect.
This works for "Riders of Rohan," too. Also, "the mark." Although I don't really know how they would have had news from the mark, in retrospect.
spinynorman
+0 -0
First thing I thought. Just wasn't sure if I wanted to be the guy to marry The Lord of the Rings and clits in one comment.
First thing I thought. Just wasn't sure if I wanted to be the guy to marry The Lord of the Rings and clits in one comment.
usversusthem
+0 -1
You're right. There is so little sex of any kind in that story. It's fantastically devoid of sexings. So much for being high epic fantasy, amirite?
Pullman I think has talked about how the LotR trilogy (along with Narnia) is pretty much totally childish in its point of view and stuff. I don't remember all of it but I remember agreeing with it and thinking him the bigger man for including sexuality in the His Dark Materials trilogy.
You're right. There is so little sex of any kind in that story. It's fantastically devoid of sexings. So much for being high epic fantasy, amirite?
Pullman I think has talked about how the LotR trilogy (along with Narnia) is pretty much totally childish in its point of view and stuff. I don't remember all of it but I remember agreeing with it and thinking him the bigger man for including sexuality in the His Dark Materials trilogy.
mortshire
+0 -0
No matter how much I read into various philosophies and religions, I somehow always come back to the concepts that Philip Pullman puts forth in the His Dark Materials series. Incredibly important and influential books to me, even though I haven't read them since I was 13 or so.
No matter how much I read into various philosophies and religions, I somehow always come back to the concepts that Philip Pullman puts forth in the His Dark Materials series. Incredibly important and influential books to me, even though I haven't read them since I was 13 or so.
deusoma
+0 -0
Really? I thought they were self-important pap, even as a child.
Really? I thought they were self-important pap, even as a child.
gouldgonewild
+0 -1
The dude sure uses a lot of religious imagery and language. I don't understand why he decides to do it that way, with how anti-religion the book is.
The dude sure uses a lot of religious imagery and language. I don't understand why he decides to do it that way, with how anti-religion the book is.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I think that's a pretty misguided way of looking at it. The key element is style. Obviously, sex happens in both universes, the question is how much attention the author should devote to it. I love George R.R. Martin for his gritty realism, but given that Tolkien was aiming for a high epic style influenced by Beowulf and the like, it would be wrong to judge him inferior for not measuring up in that regard. There is a particular sort of grandeur that derives from maintaining proper decorum.
I think that's a pretty misguided way of looking at it. The key element is style. Obviously, sex happens in both universes, the question is how much attention the author should devote to it. I love George R.R. Martin for his gritty realism, but given that Tolkien was aiming for a high epic style influenced by Beowulf and the like, it would be wrong to judge him inferior for not measuring up in that regard. There is a particular sort of grandeur that derives from maintaining proper decorum.
drskradley
+0 -0
I heard, and can back this up with unsubstantiated rumour and hearsay, that the origin of the Uruk-hai in the movie was changed from being a cross-breeding of Orcs and Men to being a cross-breeding of Orcs and Goblin-men, due to the otherwise implications of rape.
No I haven't read the books to verify this and I don't care what Wikipedia says I'm sticking with this as an interesting story
I heard, and can back this up with unsubstantiated rumour and hearsay, that the origin of the Uruk-hai in the movie was changed from being a cross-breeding of Orcs and Men to being a cross-breeding of Orcs and Goblin-men, due to the otherwise implications of rape.
No I haven't read the books to verify this and I don't care what Wikipedia says I'm sticking with this as an interesting story
achilleselbow
+2 -0
"Finally, there is a cogent point, though horrible to relate. It became clear in time that undoubted Men could under the domination of Morgoth or his agents in a few generations be reduced almost to the Orc-level of mind and habits; and then they would or could be made to mate with Orcs producing new breeds, often larger and more cunning. There is no doubt that long afterwards, in the Third Age, Saruman rediscovered this, or learned of it in lore, and in his lust for mastery committed this, his wickedest deed: the interbreeding of Orcs and Men, producing both Men-orcs large and cunning, and Orc-men treacherous and vile." (Morgoth's Ring, "Myths Transformed" - Text X)
So there, it wasn't rape - it was just generations of slavery and brainswashing. Much better.
"Finally, there is a cogent point, though horrible to relate. It became clear in time that undoubted Men could under the domination of Morgoth or his agents in a few generations be reduced almost to the Orc-level of mind and habits; and then they would or could be made to mate with Orcs producing new breeds, often larger and more cunning. There is no doubt that long afterwards, in the Third Age, Saruman rediscovered this, or learned of it in lore, and in his lust for mastery committed this, his wickedest deed: the interbreeding of Orcs and Men, producing both Men-orcs large and cunning, and Orc-men treacherous and vile." (Morgoth's Ring, "Myths Transformed" - Text X)
So there, it wasn't rape - it was just generations of slavery and brainswashing. Much better.
davey-boy
+0 -0
You forgot about eugenics.
You forgot about eugenics.
nbgreene
+0 -0
its probably a bad sign that i find this conversation to be hella interesting
its probably a bad sign that i find this conversation to be hella interesting
laserblade
+0 -2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
That is all.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
That is all.
qingofchina
+0 -1
Kli-tor-ee-deez.
Kli-tor-ee-deez.
dovey
+0 -0
That lady on CSI:NY, no?
That lady on CSI:NY, no?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ha. dang. i didn't think i had any more chubbies on this comic.
ha. dang. i didn't think i had any more chubbies on this comic.
loneal
+4 -0
I recently found out that the plural of vagina is not vaginas, but vaginae. Is there a reason I can't pluralize my genitalia without a linguistics degree from a prestigious university?
I recently found out that the plural of vagina is not vaginas, but vaginae. Is there a reason I can't pluralize my genitalia without a linguistics degree from a prestigious university?
spinynorman
+3 -0
"You know what the plural of pussy is? PUSSI. Jimmy taught me that."
"You know what the plural of pussy is? PUSSI. Jimmy taught me that."
tekende
+0 -1
You mean Jimmi?
You mean Jimmi?
spinynorman
+2 -0
Nope. Sure don't.
Nope. Sure don't.
numberkillinger
+2 -0
general chubby for liking the wire
general chubby for liking the wire
spinynorman
+0 -0
Aaaand a chubby for avatar in return.
Aaaand a chubby for avatar in return.
cbtbone
+0 -0
I must also give you a virtual chubby, for I am out. Love the cutoffs.
"But where is God?"
"THERE IS NO GOD!"
I must also give you a virtual chubby, for I am out. Love the cutoffs.
"But where is God?"
"THERE IS NO GOD!"
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Adam's a nevernude.
Adam's a nevernude.
nbgreene
+0 -0
i feel like i have to weigh in here.
"i shall duck behind that little garbage cart"
"what a pro"
i feel like i have to weigh in here.
"i shall duck behind that little garbage cart"
"what a pro"
lawbot
+0 -1
ITYM "PUSSILATA"
ITYM "PUSSILATA"
irondave
+3 -0
ITYM "PUSSY GALORE"
ITYM "PUSSY GALORE"
lawbot
+0 -1
YES
YES
achilleselbow
+9 -1
I think that to pluralize your genitalia you'd also need some sort of bio-engineering degree from a prestigious university.
I think that to pluralize your genitalia you'd also need some sort of bio-engineering degree from a prestigious university.
sncether
+0 -0
No shortage of government grants though, I'd reckon.
No shortage of government grants though, I'd reckon.
rhadamanthus
+1 -0
I am currently getting a degree in bioengineering and biochemistry from a prestigious engineering school
and I can tell you, this is not at all true
I am currently getting a degree in bioengineering and biochemistry from a prestigious engineering school
and I can tell you, this is not at all true
sncether
+1 -0
See, that's my point. You need to jazz up your grant application. No government wonk is excited by chains of fatty acids. You tell them you want to double the world's supply of receptive female sex organs, though, and you'll have senators lined up around the block.
See, that's my point. You need to jazz up your grant application. No government wonk is excited by chains of fatty acids. You tell them you want to double the world's supply of receptive female sex organs, though, and you'll have senators lined up around the block.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
That would be both awesome and repellent at the same time. I can't help but feel that Science should be doing more of this, and less on curing tuberculosis or whatever else it is Science is doing these days.
That would be both awesome and repellent at the same time. I can't help but feel that Science should be doing more of this, and less on curing tuberculosis or whatever else it is Science is doing these days.
professorhazard
+4 -0
Science would have time for these things, if we had more of it.
Science would have time for these things, if we had more of it.
farqussus
+0 -0
Rubbish. All you need is nuclear waste and lightning.
Rubbish. All you need is nuclear waste and lightning.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
how about a certificate from a crappy technical school?
how about a certificate from a crappy technical school?
jlynes
+0 -0
If you want another shock, Google "Hemipene".
If you want another shock, Google "Hemipene".
xcott
+6 -2
"s there a reason I can't pluralize my genitalia without a linguistics degree from a prestigious university?"
Yes, because addressing genitalia requires cunning linguistics.
"s there a reason I can't pluralize my genitalia without a linguistics degree from a prestigious university?"
Yes, because addressing genitalia requires cunning linguistics.
satellitetv
+0 -0
Oh no, Oh nononononono. Ohno ohno/
Oh no, Oh nononononono. Ohno ohno/
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
is the singular of genetalia genetalium? what is one genetalium?
is the singular of genetalia genetalium? what is one genetalium?
professorhazard
+0 -2
Ask Hitler.
Ask Hitler.
thorfinn
+0 -0
I believe that the cod could be considered a genitalium, as could either of the cabbages
I believe that the cod could be considered a genitalium, as could either of the cabbages
phthoggos
+0 -0
or genetalion, if it's Greek.
or genetalion, if it's Greek.
phthoggos
+0 -0
oh actually it's 3rd declension; genitalis.
oh actually it's 3rd declension; genitalis.
hamscout
+1 -2
Indeed. You must be a cunninglinguist.
Thank you, Moneypenny...
Indeed. You must be a cunninglinguist.
Thank you, Moneypenny...
dejavroom
+0 -0
It's not a chicken *at all*. It's an anthropomorphic creature, most likely a cat.
It's not a chicken *at all*. It's an anthropomorphic creature, most likely a cat.
carpetbag
+1 -0
You are technically correct. Chickens have neither a vulva nor anus; they have a cloaca, which covers both functions.
Find solace in that, should you find yourself in the position of doing intercourse with a chicken (perhaps, say, to assure to safety of your countrymen), you will in fact be performing vaginal sex and sodomy at the same time, and are of a privileged number of mammals to have ever done so [citation needed].
You are technically correct. Chickens have neither a vulva nor anus; they have a cloaca, which covers both functions.
Find solace in that, should you find yourself in the position of doing intercourse with a chicken (perhaps, say, to assure to safety of your countrymen), you will in fact be performing vaginal sex and sodomy at the same time, and are of a privileged number of mammals to have ever done so [citation needed].
wfl
+2 -0
After you mentioned that, I studied the... err.. Prostitute further, and did in fact recognize the vagina AND anus! I honestly thought it was a malformed chicken that hadn't been cooked yet :(
I figured it'd be better than bangin' a website, at least. At least this has some flesh. Websites just have cold, hard markup language and a little scripting. Sodomy with markup language is no good. An uncooked chicken, however..
-WFL
After you mentioned that, I studied the... err.. Prostitute further, and did in fact recognize the vagina AND anus! I honestly thought it was a malformed chicken that hadn't been cooked yet :(
I figured it'd be better than bangin' a website, at least. At least this has some flesh. Websites just have cold, hard markup language and a little scripting. Sodomy with markup language is no good. An uncooked chicken, however..
-WFL
lateadopter
+4 -0
You think it would be better to bang cold, raw hunk of dead, graying meat than a vibrant, full-color website with audio and video and interactive features.
No cookies for you, unless you want the ones I just tossed up.
You think it would be better to bang cold, raw hunk of dead, graying meat than a vibrant, full-color website with audio and video and interactive features.
No cookies for you, unless you want the ones I just tossed up.
flynn
+1 -0
I recognized the genitalia immediately, and it's led me down a road of uncomfortable self-examination that ends with getting off the internet for a long, long time.
I recognized the genitalia immediately, and it's led me down a road of uncomfortable self-examination that ends with getting off the internet for a long, long time.
dovey
+0 -0
But now you're back.
But now you're back.
flynn
+0 -0
Oh shiiiiiiit
Oh shiiiiiiit
achilleselbow
+3 -1
Ohmygod I thought it was a rabbit's head with an eye and an ear I hate you I hate you I hate you.
Ohmygod I thought it was a rabbit's head with an eye and an ear I hate you I hate you I hate you.
spinynorman
+0 -0
That is what I thought as well.
I keep going back to look at it and see some sort of structured and recognizable anatomy. It just isn't there.
Whatever that is, it should not be.
That is what I thought as well.
I keep going back to look at it and see some sort of structured and recognizable anatomy. It just isn't there.
Whatever that is, it should not be.
phy
+1 -0
I know I'll never look at a frankfurter the same way again.
I know I'll never look at a frankfurter the same way again.
ford
+0 -0
I also thought it was some sort of mutant hot dog, and did not find the assorted netherjunks until they were pointed out.
I also thought it was some sort of mutant hot dog, and did not find the assorted netherjunks until they were pointed out.
lateadopter
+0 -0
That is some truly desperate wishful thinking there, but I sympathize.
That is some truly desperate wishful thinking there, but I sympathize.
gethen
+0 -0
YES this is what i also thought and i was so much happier then [i]oh to get that innocent time back[/]
YES this is what i also thought and i was so much happier then [i]oh to get that innocent time back[/]
irondave
+0 -0
Well, it's not an actual clitoris, really. "C'est ne pas une pipe." But your point is well made considering who the reply is to.
Well, it's not an actual clitoris, really. "C'est ne pas une pipe." But your point is well made considering who the reply is to.
dovey
+1 -0
C'est ne pas une clit"
C'est ne pas une clit"
usversusthem
+0 -0
"Ceci n'est pas une phrase bien construite."
Oh wait... critiquing people's French grammar and ability to recall art quotes word for word is kind of... gauche , isn't it?
"Ceci n'est pas une phrase bien construite."
Oh wait... critiquing people's French grammar and ability to recall art quotes word for word is kind of... gauche , isn't it?
irondave
+0 -0
Yeah, I reckon I should have looked it up. I don't speak French.
Yeah, I reckon I should have looked it up. I don't speak French.
dovey
+0 -0
I actually knew the grammar was wrong and refrained from correcting it for the sake of a joke, and cos to do so would probably constitute cock/stranger synergy.
I actually knew the grammar was wrong and refrained from correcting it for the sake of a joke, and cos to do so would probably constitute cock/stranger synergy.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Alright, I forgive everyone. Let's just be happy, instead.
Alright, I forgive everyone. Let's just be happy, instead.
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Tinhand, Thorfinn, SaintTim, rustmouth, opprobrium)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Tinhand, Thorfinn, SaintTim, rustmouth, opprobrium)
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sirhan_duran, Thorfinn, SaintTim, rustmouth, opprobrium)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sirhan_duran, Thorfinn, SaintTim, rustmouth, opprobrium)
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, sirhan_duran, Thorfinn, SaintTim, michellemarie, rustmouth, opprobrium)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, sirhan_duran, Thorfinn, SaintTim, michellemarie, rustmouth, opprobrium)
theargentinian
+1 -0
because you're a douche
because you're a douche
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
it is what happens when you're in the first pack to comment when a new comic comes up. people reply to others' comments, which pile upon each other and thusly force the first commenters down.
if you wish to step around this, reply to someone else's comment at the top instead of making your own. sure, many (yea, even the poster themselves) may ask what the crap your reply had to do with that person's comment...but...
you can lame them. (you should not lame them.)
it is what happens when you're in the first pack to comment when a new comic comes up. people reply to others' comments, which pile upon each other and thusly force the first commenters down.
if you wish to step around this, reply to someone else's comment at the top instead of making your own. sure, many (yea, even the poster themselves) may ask what the crap your reply had to do with that person's comment...but...
you can lame them. (you should not lame them.)
daidai
+0 -0
Hahaha
you can lame them. (you should not lame them.)
Hahaha. Chubby.
Hahaha
you can lame them. (you should not lame them.)
Hahaha. Chubby.
dovey
+0 -0
I would like to chubby you (I can not chubby you)
I would like to chubby you (I can not chubby you)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i had considered making yet another joke in this style but have since decided against it.
i had considered making yet another joke in this style but have since decided against it.
irondave
+0 -0
WHO'S LUCKY NOW?!
WHO'S LUCKY NOW?!
doncaballero
+9 -2
Did Onstad go to a David Lynch film festival recently?
And go ahead and post Beef as Erasherhead, no one could have made that connection without you.
Did Onstad go to a David Lynch film festival recently?
And go ahead and post Beef as Erasherhead, no one could have made that connection without you.
professorhazard
+4 -1
I always find it much easier to tolerate the intellectually superior when their vitriol is tempered with a simple, credibility-fracturing typo.
I always find it much easier to tolerate the intellectually superior when their vitriol is tempered with a simple, credibility-fracturing typo.
biff
+5 -0
No no.
Erasherhead is a movie about an internet bacon hat.
No no.
Erasherhead is a movie about an internet bacon hat.
professorhazard
+1 -1
I think you just prophesied Weird Al's next movie.
I think you just prophesied Weird Al's next movie.
professorhazard
+1 -0
Man what
Man what
deusoma
+0 -0
Looking at the look on Beef's face in that panel, I can easily imagine him looking at the comic at the top of this page.
Looking at the look on Beef's face in that panel, I can easily imagine him looking at the comic at the top of this page.
boscostacy
+0 -0
This week's Achewood directed by David Cronenburg.
This week's Achewood directed by David Cronenburg.
dropkickhuie
+0 -0
Just no.
Just no.
mattfish
+0 -0
What...what is that.
What...what is that.
lucidz
+0 -0
A comment left by lucidz was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Jordstar, mortshire, farqussus, milkpants, DrSkradley, jocelynthepink, mrblank91, raynach, Doc_Rostov, peterjoel)
A comment left by lucidz was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Jordstar, mortshire, farqussus, milkpants, DrSkradley, jocelynthepink, mrblank91, raynach, Doc_Rostov, peterjoel)
nutmeg
+0 -0
what do you expect us to get out of this
what do you expect us to get out of this
drskradley
+0 -0
What to to indeed.
What to to indeed.
professorhazard
+1 -0
1.) use tire swing
2.) eat zoologist-approved fruits and grains
3.) throw solid waste at passers-by
1.) use tire swing
2.) eat zoologist-approved fruits and grains
3.) throw solid waste at passers-by
irondave
+0 -0
Will you help us work on the meetup, professor?
Will you help us work on the meetup, professor?
tekende
+0 -0
Number three sounds like an idea we should adopt.
Number three sounds like an idea we should adopt.
professorhazard
+0 -0
It is not a thing of classy dudes, tekende. It is mostly reserved for primates, and the homeless.
It is not a thing of classy dudes, tekende. It is mostly reserved for primates, and the homeless.
tekende
+0 -0
But we are primates.
But we are primates.
irondave
+0 -0
No shit, man. Tire swing. Tire swing!
No shit, man. Tire swing. Tire swing!
professorhazard
+0 -0
On the wha? The Achewood meetup? Unfortunately I am on the totally wrong end of the country to have much to do with it. However, I can give suggestions or whatever, if that is what you are getting at. I cannot bring a two-liter, or chips. I'm sorry.
On the wha? The Achewood meetup? Unfortunately I am on the totally wrong end of the country to have much to do with it. However, I can give suggestions or whatever, if that is what you are getting at. I cannot bring a two-liter, or chips. I'm sorry.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
3. no contest
3. no contest
flazisismuss
+1 -0
That looks like a jellyfish that crawled up from the primordial depths and has to turn to a life of prostitution to survive. It is lying on a beach, after being half eaten by a pack of angry teenaged dogs. Her name is Cynthia. I would like it if Gary were to either confirm or deny my suspicion.
I do think it's amazing that Friday's strip was topped in inscrutability. I want to see Ramses as the next installment here.
That looks like a jellyfish that crawled up from the primordial depths and has to turn to a life of prostitution to survive. It is lying on a beach, after being half eaten by a pack of angry teenaged dogs. Her name is Cynthia. I would like it if Gary were to either confirm or deny my suspicion.
I do think it's amazing that Friday's strip was topped in inscrutability. I want to see Ramses as the next installment here.
buffalobutt
+0 -0
the rating of a strip is inversely proportional to it's coherence?
the rating of a strip is inversely proportional to it's coherence?
johnnyc
+4 -0
Crisis in Infinite Achewoods
Crisis in Infinite Achewoods
drskradley
+1 -0
Then Achewood: Infinite Crisis , Countdown , etc etc.
During one such story arc, Nice Pete Prime punches through the walls of reality in an attempt to escape from prison.
As one of many deus ex machinish results of this, Todd gets resurrected.
Then Achewood: Infinite Crisis , Countdown , etc etc.
During one such story arc, Nice Pete Prime punches through the walls of reality in an attempt to escape from prison.
As one of many deus ex machinish results of this, Todd gets resurrected.
tekende
+0 -0
Virtual chubby for your knowledge of the lately RIDICULOUS DC continuity.
Virtual chubby for your knowledge of the lately RIDICULOUS DC continuity.
drskradley
+0 -0
But that's exactly what I love about DC. It may as well be considered Low Fantasy. Shit happens, no good explanation, and all the physics are cranked up to 11.
It has its silly and campy roots, so when it went serious, it got weird .
Marvel can't compete with that, for my tastes.
But that's exactly what I love about DC. It may as well be considered Low Fantasy. Shit happens, no good explanation, and all the physics are cranked up to 11.
It has its silly and campy roots, so when it went serious, it got weird .
Marvel can't compete with that, for my tastes.
tekende
+0 -0
I usually have no real problems with DC's continuity, but ever since Infinite Crisis (what...three years ago? Has it really been that long?) it's been absolutely insane. Fortunately, most of it doesn't really affect my main man Batman.
Except for the totally insipid thing with Jason Todd being back. What the hell is up with that.
I quit reading Countdown a few months ago. It was too terrible to behold any longer.
I usually have no real problems with DC's continuity, but ever since Infinite Crisis (what...three years ago? Has it really been that long?) it's been absolutely insane. Fortunately, most of it doesn't really affect my main man Batman.
Except for the totally insipid thing with Jason Todd being back. What the hell is up with that.
I quit reading Countdown a few months ago. It was too terrible to behold any longer.
drskradley
+0 -0
Yeah, the Knight ain't hurt much with it all. I don't mind Jason Todd being back, I think he's badass. Except for when they retconned Hush to being that it wasn't Clayface and actually was Jason Todd.
Retconning, generally, is bad. The only exceptions to this is retconning the Golden and Silver Age. Nobody cares if you change that shit.
Yeah, the Knight ain't hurt much with it all. I don't mind Jason Todd being back, I think he's badass. Except for when they retconned Hush to being that it wasn't Clayface and actually was Jason Todd.
Retconning, generally, is bad. The only exceptions to this is retconning the Golden and Silver Age. Nobody cares if you change that shit.
andersmn
+2 -0
Cynthia's got nice features.
Cynthia's got nice features.
sirhan_duran
+0 -0
Your avatar adds wonderful depth to every one of your comments.
Your avatar adds wonderful depth to every one of your comments.
jlowe424
+0 -0
Roast Beef's been hitting the Absinthe and he's hallucinating/freaking out. It's good to have hobbies.
Roast Beef's been hitting the Absinthe and he's hallucinating/freaking out. It's good to have hobbies.
professorhazard
+2 -0
I think this goes beyond what is actually happening in the lives of the Achewood characters. It seems that Onstad has been neglecting the machine that creates the comic strip for him, and it has started churning out horrible acid-trip imagery. Luckily, Gary has been called.
I think this goes beyond what is actually happening in the lives of the Achewood characters. It seems that Onstad has been neglecting the machine that creates the comic strip for him, and it has started churning out horrible acid-trip imagery. Luckily, Gary has been called.
beansdooma
+1 -0
this was not the strip to check while eating lunch
this was not the strip to check while eating lunch
professorhazard
+0 -0
Looks like the Great Outdoor Fight cover isn't the only thing that leaked.
Looks like the Great Outdoor Fight cover isn't the only thing that leaked.
rowboat
+0 -0
[ba-dum]
[ba-dum]
mortshire
+0 -0
...[bum-pish]
...[bum-pish]
rorshach
+0 -0
A comment left by rorshach was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, ButterMoths, divot, silver_lake, professorhazard, Thorfinn, Avery86, GregChant, scrumpton, bobodante, farqussus, howl, DrSkradley, Baryonyx, idsyen, aHatOfPig, nutmeg, MrPoopytime, usversusthem, scraggg, colorlessness, henrythecad)
A comment left by rorshach was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pityparty, ButterMoths, divot, silver_lake, professorhazard, Thorfinn, Avery86, GregChant, scrumpton, bobodante, farqussus, howl, DrSkradley, Baryonyx, idsyen, aHatOfPig, nutmeg, MrPoopytime, usversusthem, scraggg, colorlessness, henrythecad)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Even with only 255 strips under your belt, you should've realized by now that Achewood often doesn't have a punchline. I'm not one of those people that defends every single thing Onstad does, and I also wish it was more laugh-out-loud funny at times, but this one was actually pretty good what with breaking the fourth wall and Hyderabad, and the last one was just awesomely bizarre.
Even with only 255 strips under your belt, you should've realized by now that Achewood often doesn't have a punchline. I'm not one of those people that defends every single thing Onstad does, and I also wish it was more laugh-out-loud funny at times, but this one was actually pretty good what with breaking the fourth wall and Hyderabad, and the last one was just awesomely bizarre.
professorhazard
+7 -0
Peter Griffin wants a character in the stage production of Anton Chekhov's Uncle Vanya to throw a pie, in order to bring the events of the story to a level that he can comprehend and enjoy.
Peter Griffin wants a character in the stage production of Anton Chekhov's Uncle Vanya to throw a pie, in order to bring the events of the story to a level that he can comprehend and enjoy.
falseprophet
+8 -0
I feel I should point out for whoever would like to dis this strip or any of the other "avant garde" strips we've been seeing in recent months the tremendous trade-off Onstad is making as an artist. If you think Onstad has gotten "lazy" or anything like that with the writing, look at how he ups the ante on imagery. Panel 15 with the 'klicking' filmstrip was not easy to produce I can assure you, nor was 'The Achewood Generator' or 'One For The Brits' or a number of other strips where Onstad went above and beyond in terms of production values so sit down shut up and chew your goddamn brussel sprouts 27 times before swallowing or I'ma havta take my belt off on all y'all...
I feel I should point out for whoever would like to dis this strip or any of the other "avant garde" strips we've been seeing in recent months the tremendous trade-off Onstad is making as an artist. If you think Onstad has gotten "lazy" or anything like that with the writing, look at how he ups the ante on imagery. Panel 15 with the 'klicking' filmstrip was not easy to produce I can assure you, nor was 'The Achewood Generator' or 'One For The Brits' or a number of other strips where Onstad went above and beyond in terms of production values so sit down shut up and chew your goddamn brussel sprouts 27 times before swallowing or I'ma havta take my belt off on all y'all...
falseprophet
+0 -0
Okay so the ones I linked to are not the best examplesof what I am talking about since those strips also have good writing and they have over 4 scores but you all know there are some strips out there that have their detractors I just can't do the research right now because I am at work. Now go on.
Okay so the ones I linked to are not the best examplesof what I am talking about since those strips also have good writing and they have over 4 scores but you all know there are some strips out there that have their detractors I just can't do the research right now because I am at work. Now go on.
postblank
+0 -0
Roast Beef and the... sex hot dog?
Roast Beef and the... sex hot dog?
mustacheninja
+1 -0
And it has a hand...A HAND!?!? :(
And it has a hand...A HAND!?!? :(
falseprophet
+0 -0
Tragic. A malformed, chronically rejected, abomination of a call blob and it only gives the wrong kind of job.
Tragic. A malformed, chronically rejected, abomination of a call blob and it only gives the wrong kind of job.
le_baron_noir
+0 -0
Props for Louis Wain, mustacheninja.
Props for Louis Wain, mustacheninja.
1000hz
+9 -0
This is why prostitution is illegal.
This is why.
This is why prostitution is illegal.
This is why.
ford
+1 -0
It would, however, be legal to film yourself having sex with the mutant chicken-furter and then pay her
It would, however, be legal to film yourself having sex with the mutant chicken-furter and then pay her
doublechocolate
+0 -0
but is the achewood machine actually broken?
but is the achewood machine actually broken?
redmange
+0 -0
The Achewood machine looks suspiciously like the machine Tesla built that he thought could split the world in half if it's strikes were timed right.
The Achewood machine looks suspiciously like the machine Tesla built that he thought could split the world in half if it's strikes were timed right.
wfl
+0 -0
I originally perceived it as a meat grinder. For grinding meat. I was worried as to what beef would be using it for. Either of the meat choices seemed to be equally disturbing at that time.
-WFL
I originally perceived it as a meat grinder. For grinding meat. I was worried as to what beef would be using it for. Either of the meat choices seemed to be equally disturbing at that time.
-WFL
redmange
+0 -0
Someone below mentioned that perhaps Cynthia and the Machine are doing some sort of act together. If it is in fact a sort of piston pummeling machine, I think it is a slightly more agreeable scene then one where she is doing something with a meat grinder.
Someone below mentioned that perhaps Cynthia and the Machine are doing some sort of act together. If it is in fact a sort of piston pummeling machine, I think it is a slightly more agreeable scene then one where she is doing something with a meat grinder.
nhennies
+16 -0
This makes Cartilage Head seem like Sesame Street.
This makes Cartilage Head seem like Sesame Street.
professorhazard
+0 -0
A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, lawbot, Panserbjorne)
A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, lawbot, Panserbjorne)
thefuturesoundslike
+0 -0
Is Beef wearing pants? I think he is wearing pants.
Is Beef wearing pants? I think he is wearing pants.
henrythecad
+0 -1
Panel eight is revealing. Panel 9, less so. Then we have Gary, who according to the alt-text can fix the Achewood machine, presumably dragging away this jellyfish-chicken hybrid.
Panel 15 is interesting. As the machinery accelerates, beef's expression goes from mild interest to shock. Whatever the hell the machine is doing, and whatever the fuck Cynthia is, i never want to know.
Panel eight is revealing. Panel 9, less so. Then we have Gary, who according to the alt-text can fix the Achewood machine, presumably dragging away this jellyfish-chicken hybrid.
Panel 15 is interesting. As the machinery accelerates, beef's expression goes from mild interest to shock. Whatever the hell the machine is doing, and whatever the fuck Cynthia is, i never want to know.
quantumcasaba
+1 -0
No. No, today did not clarify a thing.
I don't mind.
No. No, today did not clarify a thing.
I don't mind.
mattylite
+0 -0
amen
amen
turk
+1 -0
I believe, and I could be wrong, that the punchline is panels 7, 8 and 9. Perhaps this is what we, the readers of Achewood, are presented when many of the comments from Ray's prostitute comic were mocking the fact the chicken looked nothing like a chicken ..
.. Regardless, if taken this way the strip seems a lot more funny than the David Lynch nightmare it appears to be at first.
I believe, and I could be wrong, that the punchline is panels 7, 8 and 9. Perhaps this is what we, the readers of Achewood, are presented when many of the comments from Ray's prostitute comic were mocking the fact the chicken looked nothing like a chicken ..
.. Regardless, if taken this way the strip seems a lot more funny than the David Lynch nightmare it appears to be at first.
will_grizzly
+1 -0
I think achewood has gone all H. P. Lovecraft on us.
I think achewood has gone all H. P. Lovecraft on us.
achilleselbow
+30 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
achilleselbow
+3 -1
I don't even have to look anymore to know where the one lame comes from. Oh what would we do without lawbot, keeping childish grudges and reminding us all that we are, after all, on teh intarnets.
I don't even have to look anymore to know where the one lame comes from. Oh what would we do without lawbot, keeping childish grudges and reminding us all that we are, after all, on teh intarnets.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I temporarily lowered my lame threshold to 1 to Investigate. It is actually not lawbot, unless the human being who is behind lawbot put on a different e-mask.
I temporarily lowered my lame threshold to 1 to Investigate. It is actually not lawbot, unless the human being who is behind lawbot put on a different e-mask.
jrpigman
+1 -1
I leave my lame count at 100 so I never know. Much like looking at the toilet paper after wiping, knowing who lamed you is something no man of class does.
I leave my lame count at 100 so I never know. Much like looking at the toilet paper after wiping, knowing who lamed you is something no man of class does.
dovey
+0 -0
:( I do that. I can't help it, I'm interested in my deuces. It is that most basic of human curiosities.
:( I do that. I can't help it, I'm interested in my deuces. It is that most basic of human curiosities.
slab64
+0 -0
How do you know when you're done wiping?
How do you know when you're done wiping?
tekende
+0 -0
Exactly.
Exactly.
wittyname
+0 -0
A comment left by wittyname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, d3athcann0n, lateadopter)
A comment left by wittyname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, d3athcann0n, lateadopter)
wittyname
+3 -2
Aww, who lamed me?
Aww, who lamed me?
scraggg
+0 -0
Well then I look forward to the next five strips featuring Roast Beef's sanity slowly dissolving.
Well then I look forward to the next five strips featuring Roast Beef's sanity slowly dissolving.
mnemonicdevice
+1 -0
I'm going 5 on this one just because I have hell of respect for somebody going that far out on a limb to try something the wild.
I'm going 5 on this one just because I have hell of respect for somebody going that far out on a limb to try something the wild.
spivey02
+2 -0
i don't like that thing. i Do Not like That Thing.
i don't like that thing. i Do Not like That Thing.
-0_0-
+1 -0
YES
IT'S BACK
THE FEAR
this is the top shelf stuff
YES
IT'S BACK
THE FEAR
this is the top shelf stuff
phthoggos
+0 -0
Sadly, no, this is Dark Horse stuff.
Sadly, no, this is Dark Horse stuff.
dukieshane
+0 -0
A comment left by dukieshane was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AndrewofDOOM, sirhan_duran, apocowarg, silver_lake, Thorfinn, equinn2006, prius_chaser, catgrl131, Cracklewater, BillyLK, DrSkradley, deepseabattles, zulko, biznart, opprobrium, clembot, scraggg, synapse, pquinn87, pogo)
A comment left by dukieshane was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AndrewofDOOM, sirhan_duran, apocowarg, silver_lake, Thorfinn, equinn2006, prius_chaser, catgrl131, Cracklewater, BillyLK, DrSkradley, deepseabattles, zulko, biznart, opprobrium, clembot, scraggg, synapse, pquinn87, pogo)
chivalress
+1 -1
This is well said, and I'm sad you're going to get lamed for it.
This is well said, and I'm sad you're going to get lamed for it.
asherdan
+0 -0
A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, professorhazard, EM2, Avery86, equinn2006, Cracklewater, michellemarie, jaypage, Scorpion13, nutmeg, Plozza, cbtbone, littlefatdog, pquinn87)
A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, professorhazard, EM2, Avery86, equinn2006, Cracklewater, michellemarie, jaypage, Scorpion13, nutmeg, Plozza, cbtbone, littlefatdog, pquinn87)
usversusthem
+1 -0
You forgot the apostrophes around 'thing.'
You forgot the apostrophes around 'thing.'
dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately
+20 -0
it's too late for this week, since it's already tuesday, but i would like to request that next week be assetbar's official ASHERDAN APPRECIATION WEEK , to celebrate our most belovedly hated user. i have gotten so much enjoyment out of reading his grumpy posts that i want to give something back to him and i'm sure others feel the same and that's why we need to celebrate asherdan for a whole week next week.
to prepare for asherdan celebration week i am reading asherdan's old posts on assetbar. one good place to start is here , where he made some really classic asherdan posts. if you find other marvels posted by asherdan please post a link here so we can prepare ourselves for asherdan appreciation week!
one more thing: asherdan, i propose that we create a horrible hybrid of ourselves on assetbar! i mean let's make an account (called "MANFLASHERDAN"?? yes!!) that we both have the password to and which we both post with, and we don't ever identify which of us makes any single post as manflasherdan. i made a temporary email account at j7shipper2@yahoo.com and asherdan, if you agree, then please email me there and we can work out the details.
ASHERDAN APPRECIATION WEEK
it's too late for this week, since it's already tuesday, but i would like to request that next week be assetbar's official ASHERDAN APPRECIATION WEEK , to celebrate our most belovedly hated user. i have gotten so much enjoyment out of reading his grumpy posts that i want to give something back to him and i'm sure others feel the same and that's why we need to celebrate asherdan for a whole week next week.
to prepare for asherdan celebration week i am reading asherdan's old posts on assetbar. one good place to start is here , where he made some really classic asherdan posts. if you find other marvels posted by asherdan please post a link here so we can prepare ourselves for asherdan appreciation week!
one more thing: asherdan, i propose that we create a horrible hybrid of ourselves on assetbar! i mean let's make an account (called "MANFLASHERDAN"?? yes!!) that we both have the password to and which we both post with, and we don't ever identify which of us makes any single post as manflasherdan. i made a temporary email account at j7shipper2@yahoo.com and asherdan, if you agree, then please email me there and we can work out the details.
ASHERDAN APPRECIATION WEEK
tekende
+1 -0
CRAP! I am out of chubbies. Well. Even though I cannot chubby you to show it, Doctor, know that I harbor great affection for you and I really like this idea you have had.
CRAP! I am out of chubbies. Well. Even though I cannot chubby you to show it, Doctor, know that I harbor great affection for you and I really like this idea you have had.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Asherdanal_play is another option.
But not a good one.
Asherdanal_play is another option.
But not a good one.
tekende
+0 -0
It's a verygood one.
It's a verygood one.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Sounds like the name of some kind of Dutch recording software.
Sounds like the name of some kind of Dutch recording software.
rowboat
+0 -0
This is long overdue.
This is long overdue.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Next, DrSkradley and Epicurus and FalseProphet merge into one poster ("FalseDrPropicurley") and they have an epic battle in Tokyo.
Next, DrSkradley and Epicurus and FalseProphet merge into one poster ("FalseDrPropicurley") and they have an epic battle in Tokyo.
falseprophet
+0 -0
So wait do we merge into one poster and then have an epic battle with each other like a hydra with each head jockeying for total control or are you anticipating that some unforeseen challenger will arise to bend us over it's knee?!
So wait do we merge into one poster and then have an epic battle with each other like a hydra with each head jockeying for total control or are you anticipating that some unforeseen challenger will arise to bend us over it's knee?!
drskradley
+1 -0
Baryonyx, Tekende and Rowboat all combined and up in the clouds like Lord Zedd, throwing down a staff to the ground and making us huge .
Baryonyx, Tekende and Rowboat all combined and up in the clouds like Lord Zedd, throwing down a staff to the ground and making us huge .
baryonyx
+1 -0
("Rowkendonyx")
("Rowkendonyx")
tekende
+0 -0
Fantastic.
Fantastic.
rowboat
+0 -0
I had to look up Lord Zedd, and I was not pleased after I had.
This is fun, though.
I had to look up Lord Zedd, and I was not pleased after I had.
This is fun, though.
baryonyx
+1 -0
Acheworld is such a subculture.
We have our own celebrities.
Acheworld is such a subculture.
We have our own celebrities.
catgrl131
+1 -0
And our pathetic Q-listers.
WHY WON'T YOU LOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEE!?!??!!?!?
And our pathetic Q-listers.
WHY WON'T YOU LOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEE!?!??!!?!?
drskradley
+0 -0
Many missed out. LateAdopter, ProfessorHazard, Miku224, yourself, WittyName, AchillesElbow, Wae, SpinyNorman....and many, many other influential posters, each for their own reasons.
It was spontaneous, we weren't thinking, prejudices were shown, hearts were broken, lines were crossed, razed, salted and pissed on, and family feuds were reinforced.
If we all had more time and could be bothered, a PowerPoint slideshow montage would include everyone and it would be awesome.
But alas, we are far too lazy.
Know that you are loved no less, my child.
Many missed out. LateAdopter, ProfessorHazard, Miku224, yourself, WittyName, AchillesElbow, Wae, SpinyNorman....and many, many other influential posters, each for their own reasons.
It was spontaneous, we weren't thinking, prejudices were shown, hearts were broken, lines were crossed, razed, salted and pissed on, and family feuds were reinforced.
If we all had more time and could be bothered, a PowerPoint slideshow montage would include everyone and it would be awesome.
But alas, we are far too lazy.
Know that you are loved no less, my child.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Damn. A-list chubby.
Damn. A-list chubby.
nbgreene
+2 -0
wow, this is the most pretentious thing i have ever read! I am afraid you may be right though dukie (in your first two paragraphs).
wow, this is the most pretentious thing i have ever read! I am afraid you may be right though dukie (in your first two paragraphs).
dukieshane
+0 -0
A comment left by dukieshane was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rowboat, DarkerNorm, michellemarie, BillyLK, proof_man)
A comment left by dukieshane was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rowboat, DarkerNorm, michellemarie, BillyLK, proof_man)
professorhazard
+4 -0
Apollo, why doth thou burn this candle at both ends?
Apollo, why doth thou burn this candle at both ends?
jaypage
+1 -0
The philosophy nerd in me can't help but wonder what the main pervert of the internet would say in response to Kierkegaard's criticisms of aestheticism.
The philosophy nerd in me can't help but wonder what the main pervert of the internet would say in response to Kierkegaard's criticisms of aestheticism.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
dukieshane? dukieshane, I'm a prostitute. you need to take the edge off sometime.
dukieshane? dukieshane, I'm a prostitute. you need to take the edge off sometime.
billylk
+0 -0
A comment left by billylk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AndrewofDOOM, wittyname, goocifer, smugairle, Smartacus, zulko, nutmeg, mrblank91, sgrabens)
A comment left by billylk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AndrewofDOOM, wittyname, goocifer, smugairle, Smartacus, zulko, nutmeg, mrblank91, sgrabens)
professorhazard
+9 -1
[sobchak]Calmer'n you are.[/sobchak]
[sobchak]Calmer'n you are.[/sobchak]
billylk
+0 -0
A comment left by billylk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, Thorfinn, goocifer, Smartacus, nutmeg)
A comment left by billylk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, Thorfinn, goocifer, Smartacus, nutmeg)
farqussus
+1 -0
He is a sad panda.
He is a sad panda.
tsume454
+0 -0
-10 points off your debate score for the counterpart not starting with "Jane, you ignorant slut." Dan Akroyd gives you a stern look.
-10 points off your debate score for the counterpart not starting with "Jane, you ignorant slut." Dan Akroyd gives you a stern look.
wittyname
+0 -0
Solomon reference?
Solomon reference?
professorhazard
+0 -0
Ancient SNL reference.
Ancient SNL reference.
miku224
+1 -0
Holy shit. You're going to get your face lamed off, but I think that has a lot to do with you expressing things that a lot of the community are too afraid to come to grips with.
Well written and insightful, not to mention pretty ballsy. Chubbied.
Holy shit. You're going to get your face lamed off, but I think that has a lot to do with you expressing things that a lot of the community are too afraid to come to grips with.
Well written and insightful, not to mention pretty ballsy. Chubbied.
catgrl131
+1 -2
Actually, I just lamed it because it sounded reeally pretentious to me. I mean, the guy does a free internet comic about alive stuffed animals for people he doesn't even know. Can a guy get a little creative freedom?
Actually, I just lamed it because it sounded reeally pretentious to me. I mean, the guy does a free internet comic about alive stuffed animals for people he doesn't even know. Can a guy get a little creative freedom?
wittyname
+0 -0
Any form of art is open to critique.
Any form of art is open to critique.
catgrl131
+3 -0
As is any form of long-winded post ^.^
As is any form of long-winded post ^.^
falseprophet
+0 -0
Metaphysical chubby.
Metaphysical chubby.
achilleselbow
+4 -1
You could also try not taking everything so seriously and read it as the ironic (though well-wrought) deliberate over-analyzing it was probably meant to be. We're all nerds here, there's no need to reveal your insecurity by denouncing others as pretentious.
You could also try not taking everything so seriously and read it as the ironic (though well-wrought) deliberate over-analyzing it was probably meant to be. We're all nerds here, there's no need to reveal your insecurity by denouncing others as pretentious.
catgrl131
+0 -1
Well, I have my opinion, and you have yours. *skips off into the sunset*
Well, I have my opinion, and you have yours. *skips off into the sunset*
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Yes. The fact that he placed both sides of the debate in such a shit eating style (albeit decent critical points made) is proof of your critique achilleselbow. As far as I'm concerned that's all the clarification dukieshane's commentary needs.
Yes. The fact that he placed both sides of the debate in such a shit eating style (albeit decent critical points made) is proof of your critique achilleselbow. As far as I'm concerned that's all the clarification dukieshane's commentary needs.
nbgreene
+0 -0
i think its pretentious of you to say that i cant call other people pretentious.
i think its pretentious of you to say that i cant call other people pretentious.
billylk
+0 -0
A comment left by billylk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by goocifer, chivalress, loneal, Flyffe, nutmeg)
A comment left by billylk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by goocifer, chivalress, loneal, Flyffe, nutmeg)
dukieshane
+0 -0
A comment left by dukieshane was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, apocowarg, postblank, Thorfinn, goocifer, BillyLK, colorlessness)
A comment left by dukieshane was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, apocowarg, postblank, Thorfinn, goocifer, BillyLK, colorlessness)
wittyname
+0 -0
Wow, I thought your critique was well written, but this follow up makes you sounds extremely pretentious.
Wow, I thought your critique was well written, but this follow up makes you sounds extremely pretentious.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I am still waiting to hear his plan for unifying the masses and somehow changing the direction of the comic.
I am still waiting to hear his plan for unifying the masses and somehow changing the direction of the comic.
tsume454
+6 -0
I can see dukie standing there in front of the health food store with a folding table and a petition to ban Lynchian excursions in comic strips.
An earnest looking college freshman with a black turtleneck and slogan buttons is nodding eagerly when he prosthelytizes to a group of Mothers Against Deranged Dadaists.
Salvador Dali and Lewis Carroll ride by on a brass two-person unicycle with a tetrahedral wheel. They see him and hang their heads. They think they are no longer welcome.
I can see dukie standing there in front of the health food store with a folding table and a petition to ban Lynchian excursions in comic strips.
An earnest looking college freshman with a black turtleneck and slogan buttons is nodding eagerly when he prosthelytizes to a group of Mothers Against Deranged Dadaists.
Salvador Dali and Lewis Carroll ride by on a brass two-person unicycle with a tetrahedral wheel. They see him and hang their heads. They think they are no longer welcome.
rhadamanthus
+0 -0
I had a natural inclination to search for DalÃ's name here after seeing this strip. Glad to see someone else saw that.
I had a natural inclination to search for DalÃ's name here after seeing this strip. Glad to see someone else saw that.
tekende
+0 -0
Virtual chubby!
Virtual chubby!
wae
+0 -0
My first guess might be pretentious, but on further examination, it appears to be a stoned person with too much time and intelligence at their disposal.
My first guess might be pretentious, but on further examination, it appears to be a stoned person with too much time and intelligence at their disposal.
postblank
+1 -0
I could understand where you were coming from with the first post with your "my mother is a clinical psychologist" analysis. But this follow up is a huge, self handjob. Please fuck you.
I could understand where you were coming from with the first post with your "my mother is a clinical psychologist" analysis. But this follow up is a huge, self handjob. Please fuck you.
tekende
+0 -0
Business was slow, so Ray let dukieshane jack off in his plane.
Business was slow, so Ray let dukieshane jack off in his plane.
higuma
+2 -0
I think he is just experimenting within the boundaries of his media and having some fun. Read the last sentence of the strip again and relax.
I think he is just experimenting within the boundaries of his media and having some fun. Read the last sentence of the strip again and relax.
silver_lake
+1 -0
Seriously. If you use comics to get mad, then you are mis-applying God's gifts. This was neat, and if you get furious, then you are probably just a furious person, regardless of Achewood.
Seriously. If you use comics to get mad, then you are mis-applying God's gifts. This was neat, and if you get furious, then you are probably just a furious person, regardless of Achewood.
wae
+1 -0
Certainly a very interesting and insightful theory. My guess is that the changes are borne more of experimentation than desperation, but I applaud the thought you put into this.
Certainly a very interesting and insightful theory. My guess is that the changes are borne more of experimentation than desperation, but I applaud the thought you put into this.
nutmeg
+0 -0
i completely agree with you, except for the suggestion that his efforts are insincere (a feigned descent into insanity?). i have thought for a long time that Onstad is recently struggling with depression. i think he genuinely wants to continue his project, but because of his illness he just can't fire all cylinders. his achewood machine broke.
and Gary's the GUY with the S-S-R-I.
i completely agree with you, except for the suggestion that his efforts are insincere (a feigned descent into insanity?). i have thought for a long time that Onstad is recently struggling with depression. i think he genuinely wants to continue his project, but because of his illness he just can't fire all cylinders. his achewood machine broke.
and Gary's the GUY with the S-S-R-I.
nutmeg
+0 -0
"i have thought for a long time that Onstad is recently..."
and this guy is supposed to be an English major.
"i have thought for a long time that Onstad is recently..."
and this guy is supposed to be an English major.
sben
+3 -0
I regret Onstad going on the Absinthe Crawl two nights in a row.
I regret Onstad going on the Absinthe Crawl two nights in a row.
catgrl131
+0 -1
Your avatar looks familiar. Where is it from? I can't put my finger on it...
Your avatar looks familiar. Where is it from? I can't put my finger on it...
miku224
+0 -0
Doonesbury?
Doonesbury?
catgrl131
+0 -0
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Damnit, I havn't had time to really sit and really read a newspaper in just about forever, let alone spare a glance at the funnies. Oh, balls.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Damnit, I havn't had time to really sit and really read a newspaper in just about forever, let alone spare a glance at the funnies. Oh, balls.
odvo
+0 -0
Perhaps Onstad has found his Eraserhead?
Perhaps Onstad has found his Eraserhead?
usversusthem
+0 -0
I think what happened is that he lost his "Achewood Generator" somehow. I mean, I see at best three of the five elements here. I think the missing two elements, through their absence, throw into sharp relief the importance of having the full pentagonad, and furthermore how the whole is more than the sum of its parts, and thus... Okay I'm done.
I think what happened is that he lost his "Achewood Generator" somehow. I mean, I see at best three of the five elements here. I think the missing two elements, through their absence, throw into sharp relief the importance of having the full pentagonad, and furthermore how the whole is more than the sum of its parts, and thus... Okay I'm done.
professorhazard
+0 -0
A machine won't run right without a good generator.
A machine won't run right without a good generator.
farqussus
+0 -0
hehe gonad.
hehe gonad.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
pentagonad is pretty good pluralization of genitalia
pentagonad is pretty good pluralization of genitalia
usversusthem
+0 -0
That's polygonad, you silly.
That's polygonad, you silly.
mc_white
+0 -0
Absinthe crawl? more like some kind of Salvia trip. beef seems to be caught in a serious trip, where time is slowed and he is himself barely aware.
Absinthe crawl? more like some kind of Salvia trip. beef seems to be caught in a serious trip, where time is slowed and he is himself barely aware.
checkmatejones
+4 -0
AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A MIX TAPE. IT IS JUST ME TALKING ONTO A REGULAR TAPE. I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE CD'S TO PLAY ONTO THE TAPE PLAYER. I AM SORRY ABOUT THIS ROAST BEEF.
AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A MIX TAPE. IT IS JUST ME TALKING ONTO A REGULAR TAPE. I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE CD'S TO PLAY ONTO THE TAPE PLAYER. I AM SORRY ABOUT THIS ROAST BEEF.
cousinted
+12 -0
[IMGS OFF]
PROSTITOO!!
[IMGS OFF]
PROSTITOO!!
professorhazard
+8 -0
Wow. Apparently, the Venture Compound kitchen is painted Chubby Green.
Wow. Apparently, the Venture Compound kitchen is painted Chubby Green.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Gross?
Gross?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
"I had Taco Bellllllllll for lunch."
"I had Taco Bellllllllll for lunch."
professorhazard
+0 -0
Since Venturestein is technically the living dead, I get the feeling he's about to get scalped by JEFFERSON TWILIGHT, BLACULA HUNTER
Since Venturestein is technically the living dead, I get the feeling he's about to get scalped by JEFFERSON TWILIGHT, BLACULA HUNTER
vincentkv
+1 -0
Dude, He only hunts Blaculas.
Dude, He only hunts Blaculas.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Dude, the top of Venturestein's head is black. Technically, he's like 1/20th Blacula.
Dude, the top of Venturestein's head is black. Technically, he's like 1/20th Blacula.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
at least noodlesoup productions make it (it=profiteering sex to ABOMINATIONNNNS ) somewhat less disturbing.
at least noodlesoup productions make it (it=profiteering sex to ABOMINATIONNNNS ) somewhat less disturbing.
biznart
+0 -0
Two prostitute strips in a row? Is this an arc?
...
IS PHILIPPE NEXT?!
Two prostitute strips in a row? Is this an arc?
...
IS PHILIPPE NEXT?!
falseprophet
+2 -0
No. Philippe would not go in for that. He ended the mafia. He would straight up rip apart vice.
No. Philippe would not go in for that. He ended the mafia. He would straight up rip apart vice.
achilleselbow
+1 -1
Eliot Spitzer also ended the mafia...
Eliot Spitzer also ended the mafia...
professorhazard
+1 -0
Philippe can meet a prostitute without attempting to have sexual relations with one. His encounter with such a being would be poignant - the prostitute's explanation of its life and hopes and dreams might possibly turn out to be the saddest thing.
Luckily, we'll never see this if the Achewood machine is repaired. Although it does bring me to wonder if Lie Bot and the machine are somehow connected...
Philippe can meet a prostitute without attempting to have sexual relations with one. His encounter with such a being would be poignant - the prostitute's explanation of its life and hopes and dreams might possibly turn out to be the saddest thing.
Luckily, we'll never see this if the Achewood machine is repaired. Although it does bring me to wonder if Lie Bot and the machine are somehow connected...
falseprophet
+0 -0
The Plot (theoretically) Thickens!
The Plot (theoretically) Thickens!
pantscomeoff
+0 -0
A comment left by pantscomeoff was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Triactry03, Checkmatejones, equinn2006, bobodante, milkpants, ABC_Heidi, Tragic_Johnson, nutmeg, voloshg, Doc_Rostov)
A comment left by pantscomeoff was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Triactry03, Checkmatejones, equinn2006, bobodante, milkpants, ABC_Heidi, Tragic_Johnson, nutmeg, voloshg, Doc_Rostov)
mortshire
+1 -0
Sapient pear says what?
Sapient pear says what?
anitrophaeron
+3 -1
I think Roast Beef's prostitute is a defective LoveLump . Yes, it is a hoax. No, it is not safe for work.
I think Roast Beef's prostitute is a defective LoveLump . Yes, it is a hoax. No, it is not safe for work.
biff
+0 -0
Eww.
That thing looks like some horribly deformed foot.
Eww.
Eww.
That thing looks like some horribly deformed foot.
Eww.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Oh, SHIT
That is what you made me just say out loud
That is what I said
Oh, SHIT
That is what you made me just say out loud
That is what I said
catgrl131
+0 -0
I...I just don't want to look. Can someone describe what it's supposed to be?
I...I just don't want to look. Can someone describe what it's supposed to be?
wittyname
+1 -0
What I am assuming is rubber, or something, that has a pair of breasts, a vagina in between the breasts, and a penis ontop of it.
If you're trying to imagine it, stop.
What I am assuming is rubber, or something, that has a pair of breasts, a vagina in between the breasts, and a penis ontop of it.
If you're trying to imagine it, stop.
dzieger
+1 -0
Actually, a quick perusal of the site reveals it to be a sort of bio-engineered, living but non-sentient organism designed exclusively as a sex ... partner? ... for humans. When not in use, it just sits there, requiring occasional feeding and watering.
Think of it - if you must think of it at all - as a sort of x-rated tribble.
Now pardon me while I scrub my eyes with steel wool for five minutes...but it's in my brain now! I can't scrub my brain -- it will void the warranty.
Damn you, anitrophaeron! You've ruined sex and Star Trek for me. Now what the hell will I do at sci-fi conventions?
Actually, a quick perusal of the site reveals it to be a sort of bio-engineered, living but non-sentient organism designed exclusively as a sex ... partner? ... for humans. When not in use, it just sits there, requiring occasional feeding and watering.
Think of it - if you must think of it at all - as a sort of x-rated tribble.
Now pardon me while I scrub my eyes with steel wool for five minutes...but it's in my brain now! I can't scrub my brain -- it will void the warranty.
Damn you, anitrophaeron! You've ruined sex and Star Trek for me. Now what the hell will I do at sci-fi conventions?
irreverend
+0 -0
What, no anus? :(
What, no anus? :(
numberkillinger
+0 -0
actually it seems that the basic "Persephone" model features both V-gauge(2cm-10cm) and R-gauge(1cm-7.5cm) 'entry ports'.
(The "Augustine" has two of each, naturally)
actually it seems that the basic "Persephone" model features both V-gauge(2cm-10cm) and R-gauge(1cm-7.5cm) 'entry ports'.
(The "Augustine" has two of each, naturally)
daidai
+0 -0
I have decided to refer to those bits of the human anatomy as "entry ports" for the rest of my life.
I have decided to refer to those bits of the human anatomy as "entry ports" for the rest of my life.
irreverend
+0 -0
So is the V-gauge supposed to be the vadge, and R the rectum? I just feel like the anus should be tighter, y'know? Then again, I'm a homo.
So is the V-gauge supposed to be the vadge, and R the rectum? I just feel like the anus should be tighter, y'know? Then again, I'm a homo.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
why ... why would you know where to find this?
why ... why would you know where to find this?
fineoakstructure
+4 -0
Because of a problem?
Because of a problem?
anitrophaeron
+1 -0
The link was sent to me by a friend who later went on to be the Green Party candidate for the state legislature in my district. He did not win.
The link was sent to me by a friend who later went on to be the Green Party candidate for the state legislature in my district. He did not win.
ruster2000
+0 -0
D:
D:
vlai44
+1 -1
in heaven everything is fine.
in heaven everything is fine.
bobodante
+0 -0
I don't quite understand any of these last two strips, but I'm willing to withhold judgement on this arc until it's clearly established it's over%u2014or the machine has been fixed and the reel stops smoking.
I'm in this for the long haul, Gary. I have a tool belt and the schematics for a Wankel rotary engine, so call me. Ting!
I don't quite understand any of these last two strips, but I'm willing to withhold judgement on this arc until it's clearly established it's over%u2014or the machine has been fixed and the reel stops smoking.
I'm in this for the long haul, Gary. I have a tool belt and the schematics for a Wankel rotary engine, so call me. Ting!
airshipp
+0 -0
I have some idea what is going on, but that does not eclipse the fact that these past two strips are just about the worst THINGS ever
I have some idea what is going on, but that does not eclipse the fact that these past two strips are just about the worst THINGS ever
vermy
+0 -0
I have to wonder if the Achewood Machine is an invention of Lonis Edison. It looks like it
I have to wonder if the Achewood Machine is an invention of Lonis Edison. It looks like it
lonis
+7 -0
This foul machine is not of my making! I've owned up to my past indiscretions.
This foul machine is not of my making! I've owned up to my past indiscretions.
shades
+1 -0
last two have been completely fucking stellar
last two have been completely fucking stellar
waldo913
+5 -0
I... I think I need an adult.
I... I think I need an adult.
synapse
+1 -2
glistening misshapen blob. hell, i'd hit.
glistening misshapen blob. hell, i'd hit.
opprobrium
+0 -0
gary is a good man. a good man.
gary is a good man. a good man.
tekende
+0 -0
An honest man.
An honest man.
professorhazard
+0 -1
He's an American doctor.
He's an American doctor.
drmemory
+0 -0
I was with it until the last sentence. Then I didn't know what to think.
I was with it until the last sentence. Then I didn't know what to think.
euphemisms
+1 -0
correct me if i'm wrong: i believe this is the first appearance of lady parts in achewood. and what a first it is.
correct me if i'm wrong: i believe this is the first appearance of lady parts in achewood. and what a first it is.
professorhazard
+0 -0
... no one said it could be done...
... no one said it could be done...
achilleselbow
+1 -1
Take THAT, retardo!
Take THAT, retardo!
opprobrium
+0 -1
"retardo" made me snort and chortle. chubby for you
"retardo" made me snort and chortle. chubby for you
professorhazard
+0 -0
It's actually a reference to an Acheworld commentator who used to insist that Onstad was a closet homosexual. This same "retardo" also urged Onstad to have sexual relations with him at all times.
I explain this under the impression that you think it was just an offhand insult, although it is possible you laughed because you know who retardo was... but based on the amount of strips you've read under your Acheworld account, I am betting on the former.
It's actually a reference to an Acheworld commentator who used to insist that Onstad was a closet homosexual. This same "retardo" also urged Onstad to have sexual relations with him at all times.
I explain this under the impression that you think it was just an offhand insult, although it is possible you laughed because you know who retardo was... but based on the amount of strips you've read under your Acheworld account, I am betting on the former.
solle
+0 -0
I think that might be a vagina. Of sorts?
Beef is wearing pants.
I think that might be a vagina. Of sorts?
Beef is wearing pants.
baryonyx
+33 -0
Gary repairs the Achewood machine, but haphazardly, such that the characters, who thus far have been automatons directed humorously by Onstad's writing, are accidentally granted self-consciousness. The comic strip "Achewood" seems to return to normal but shows signs of degeneration, as characters stop speaking in mid-sentence and look around them, or refer to each other by the wrong names, or simply disappear in the middle of a strip unaccounted for. The symptoms become stronger - panels appear out of order, characters begin to simply chant incoherently, primitively. During one attempted story arc, all the characters simply scream in pain for six panels, clawing at themselves. One day there is a strip just of Phillipe, grasping the border of the panel with bloodied flipper, tugging at it, pushing on it, wailing and screaming in primal hate and fear. In the strip the day after that, Ray actually crawls out of the screen and kills you.
Gary repairs the Achewood machine, but haphazardly, such that the characters, who thus far have been automatons directed humorously by Onstad's writing, are accidentally granted self-consciousness. The comic strip "Achewood" seems to return to normal but shows signs of degeneration, as characters stop speaking in mid-sentence and look around them, or refer to each other by the wrong names, or simply disappear in the middle of a strip unaccounted for. The symptoms become stronger - panels appear out of order, characters begin to simply chant incoherently, primitively. During one attempted story arc, all the characters simply scream in pain for six panels, clawing at themselves. One day there is a strip just of Phillipe, grasping the border of the panel with bloodied flipper, tugging at it, pushing on it, wailing and screaming in primal hate and fear. In the strip the day after that, Ray actually crawls out of the screen and kills you.
sncether
+0 -0
Pfft. I could totally take Ray. In fact, he'd make an awesome house pet, assuming you could keep him suitably soused on barbituates. Maybe lace his Fancy Feast?
Did I just suggest feeding Raymond Smuckles Fancy Feast? I did. And he'd eat it, too.
Pfft. I could totally take Ray. In fact, he'd make an awesome house pet, assuming you could keep him suitably soused on barbituates. Maybe lace his Fancy Feast?
Did I just suggest feeding Raymond Smuckles Fancy Feast? I did. And he'd eat it, too.
sncether
+0 -0
Everything about that scenario seems so wrong. I feel a similar repulsion to that produced by certain house-bound demographics of the Internet. Did I just stumble onto some new form of fan-fiction?
Everything about that scenario seems so wrong. I feel a similar repulsion to that produced by certain house-bound demographics of the Internet. Did I just stumble onto some new form of fan-fiction?
professorhazard
+3 -0
"That's a good boy," sncether said, stroking Ray's back as he gobbled up his food. Ray was getting a little plump, but sncether didn't mind. It would feel all the better later, when they were snuggled up on the couch. Ray, turning his head to look at sncether, smiled.
"That's a good boy," sncether said, stroking Ray's back as he gobbled up his food. Ray was getting a little plump, but sncether didn't mind. It would feel all the better later, when they were snuggled up on the couch. Ray, turning his head to look at sncether, smiled.
sncether
+4 -0
It had been a long two weeks, mused professorhazard, but worth it. At first the cat had refused to leave the hard plastic carrier he'd first captured it in, or even to acknowledge the open grate and dish of tuna. The first three days were nerve-wracking, but then one morning he came down into the kitchen to find a bowl of Dinty Moore chipped beef licked clean. That was the first glimmer of hope, and since then he'd worked for at least an hour before and after work to coax the little grey out. Now, squatting on his haunches with a dish in his outstretched hand, he could just make out the cat's blinking eyes. Perhaps this would be the moment. "Come on, Cassandra," he called, "Come here my little Beefy. Come to professor."
The belled collar hung muted from his back pocket.
It had been a long two weeks, mused professorhazard, but worth it. At first the cat had refused to leave the hard plastic carrier he'd first captured it in, or even to acknowledge the open grate and dish of tuna. The first three days were nerve-wracking, but then one morning he came down into the kitchen to find a bowl of Dinty Moore chipped beef licked clean. That was the first glimmer of hope, and since then he'd worked for at least an hour before and after work to coax the little grey out. Now, squatting on his haunches with a dish in his outstretched hand, he could just make out the cat's blinking eyes. Perhaps this would be the moment. "Come on, Cassandra," he called, "Come here my little Beefy. Come to professor."
The belled collar hung muted from his back pocket.
professorhazard
+4 -0
"Oh shit!" sncether yelled, swatting uselessly at the air. "Oh shit fuck!" The pitch-black squirrel, seemingly possessed of a rage from the pits of Hell, skittered helter-skelter over sncether's body - in a shirt sleeve, out a pant leg, biting and clawing all the while. "Oh, fuck!" Wherever he attempted to grab at the shadowy monster, he was a second too late. There was the flick of a cheap butane lighter, a high-pitched puffing, and the unmistakable hiss of a lit cigarette being put out on human flesh. "Oh, shit fuck!" It would be a long day.
"Oh shit!" sncether yelled, swatting uselessly at the air. "Oh shit fuck!" The pitch-black squirrel, seemingly possessed of a rage from the pits of Hell, skittered helter-skelter over sncether's body - in a shirt sleeve, out a pant leg, biting and clawing all the while. "Oh, fuck!" Wherever he attempted to grab at the shadowy monster, he was a second too late. There was the flick of a cheap butane lighter, a high-pitched puffing, and the unmistakable hiss of a lit cigarette being put out on human flesh. "Oh, shit fuck!" It would be a long day.
sncether
+2 -1
God, Memorial Day on the inlet! It was a yearly rite for the family hazard; Uncle Bernie Hazard had gotten lucky in the markets and managed to transform a small settlement payment from the city into a beautiful house right on the shore. Every year he invited the whole Hazard clan for a party to celebrate the beginning of summer; the end of school; the anniversary of the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty--whatever. For professorhazard, it usually culminated in a stagger down Bernie's tidy little dock and a drunken spin in his spiffy motorboat, and it was usually the highlight of his year--especially if his cousin Janice had also been imbibing liberally, he thought with a smirk.
No such luck this year, but the outboard was in fine form as he roared around the estuary. Then there was a BLUGUMP, and the outboard roared--screamed--stalled. He leaned over the bulwark. The propeller was tangled, and a bit of gore greased the surface of the water, suggesting he'd hit something. A pair of tiny black shoes? Cargo pants? What had happened?
God, Memorial Day on the inlet! It was a yearly rite for the family hazard; Uncle Bernie Hazard had gotten lucky in the markets and managed to transform a small settlement payment from the city into a beautiful house right on the shore. Every year he invited the whole Hazard clan for a party to celebrate the beginning of summer; the end of school; the anniversary of the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty--whatever. For professorhazard, it usually culminated in a stagger down Bernie's tidy little dock and a drunken spin in his spiffy motorboat, and it was usually the highlight of his year--especially if his cousin Janice had also been imbibing liberally, he thought with a smirk.
No such luck this year, but the outboard was in fine form as he roared around the estuary. Then there was a BLUGUMP, and the outboard roared--screamed--stalled. He leaned over the bulwark. The propeller was tangled, and a bit of gore greased the surface of the water, suggesting he'd hit something. A pair of tiny black shoes? Cargo pants? What had happened?
professorhazard
+2 -1
And with my evolution into an incestuous drunk who casually murders the strip's most popular character complete, I withdraw, more than a little disappointed in this turn of events. Unprofessional.
And with my evolution into an incestuous drunk who casually murders the strip's most popular character complete, I withdraw, more than a little disappointed in this turn of events. Unprofessional.
sncether
+0 -0
Sorry about that. I must have gotten a bit carried away. I have the same problem with my Star Trek/Neverending Story fan-fiction.
Anyway, I think you set a bar that couldn't be matched with your very first effort. Somehow I keep picturing a cat with a human face. Why?
Sorry about that. I must have gotten a bit carried away. I have the same problem with my Star Trek/Neverending Story fan-fiction.
Anyway, I think you set a bar that couldn't be matched with your very first effort. Somehow I keep picturing a cat with a human face. Why?
professorhazard
+0 -0
I dunno, especially considering
1.) Ray smiles all the time, and
2.) it has been established that Ray was, in fact, once owned by a human , so the whole concept of it being surreal is a spurious one.
I dunno, especially considering
1.) Ray smiles all the time, and
2.) it has been established that Ray was, in fact, once owned by a human , so the whole concept of it being surreal is a spurious one.
sncether
+0 -0
Oh and by the way, I think that was probably manslaughter of some kind, if it makes you feel better. There was a similar case where Picard accidentally knocked Falcor into a wormhole. I got bored after a couple of pages of courtroom drama but it was definitely moving towards a plea deal.
Oh and by the way, I think that was probably manslaughter of some kind, if it makes you feel better. There was a similar case where Picard accidentally knocked Falcor into a wormhole. I got bored after a couple of pages of courtroom drama but it was definitely moving towards a plea deal.
deusoma
+3 -0
I have just borne witness to a fanfiction duel. The Internet truly is a world of madness without end, and I embrace this brave new world with open arms.
I have just borne witness to a fanfiction duel. The Internet truly is a world of madness without end, and I embrace this brave new world with open arms.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Deusoma embraced Molly with open arms, possibly for the last time. She had to end it, and he knew as well. Beef was an aquaintance, but deusoma knew him well enough to know that his life was in no need of any more sorrow. Beef was the kind of cat you just couldn't bear to see in sorrow. No. No longer would he go behind the back of this shell of a cat. As the affair deepened, he saw the already depressed feline deteriorate. He became emanciated. Maybe it wasn't his fault, deusoma thought with a glimmer of hope. Didn't lupus also cause loss of appetite? Or was that the immune system one... Deusoma shook his head. He knew- It's never lupus.
Deusoma embraced Molly with open arms, possibly for the last time. She had to end it, and he knew as well. Beef was an aquaintance, but deusoma knew him well enough to know that his life was in no need of any more sorrow. Beef was the kind of cat you just couldn't bear to see in sorrow. No. No longer would he go behind the back of this shell of a cat. As the affair deepened, he saw the already depressed feline deteriorate. He became emanciated. Maybe it wasn't his fault, deusoma thought with a glimmer of hope. Didn't lupus also cause loss of appetite? Or was that the immune system one... Deusoma shook his head. He knew- It's never lupus.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Wow, okay, I meant to press the cancel button. Sorry. Please ignore badly written paragraph.
Wow, okay, I meant to press the cancel button. Sorry. Please ignore badly written paragraph.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -1
Catgrl131 stared at the paragraph she'd feverishly slammed out. Proud that there were no misspellings of any sort, she beamishly moved her mouse to remove her heart-staggering work of genius. Nobody will ever know, she thought, these words are my own.
A lazy mistake of hovering over 'Post' instead of 'Cancel' caused terror to strike! Her finger was on its way down to press the button that would seal her fate yet as much as she could try to divert disaster, she saw her life flash before her eyes. Childhood memories lapping at her retinas. Laughter and birthdays flitted past like business cards in a Rolodex operated by a highly-skilled secretary.
Milliseconds later, the deafening 'click' of her mouse sounded like a billion dirges moaned at once and after a quick communication between computer and server, her forbidden paragraph was sucked into the page's body and slathered in a yellow previously saved for Post-It notes.
This is ASS as HELL!! Catgrl131 thought-shouted . This wasn't meant to be. Nobody was supposed to read that...that was practice for next time. Damndamndamndamndamn!!
Catgrl131 sighed as another reply box was opened. An apology to the Acheworld community was in order. I hate doing these things...yet, I gotta do it...
Apprehensive though they were, like children going into the deep end for the first time, she stretched her fingers over the keyboard once more, swearing never to make a mistake like this again...
Catgrl131 stared at the paragraph she'd feverishly slammed out. Proud that there were no misspellings of any sort, she beamishly moved her mouse to remove her heart-staggering work of genius. Nobody will ever know, she thought, these words are my own.
A lazy mistake of hovering over 'Post' instead of 'Cancel' caused terror to strike! Her finger was on its way down to press the button that would seal her fate yet as much as she could try to divert disaster, she saw her life flash before her eyes. Childhood memories lapping at her retinas. Laughter and birthdays flitted past like business cards in a Rolodex operated by a highly-skilled secretary.
Milliseconds later, the deafening 'click' of her mouse sounded like a billion dirges moaned at once and after a quick communication between computer and server, her forbidden paragraph was sucked into the page's body and slathered in a yellow previously saved for Post-It notes.
This is ASS as HELL!! Catgrl131 thought-shouted . This wasn't meant to be. Nobody was supposed to read that...that was practice for next time. Damndamndamndamndamn!!
Catgrl131 sighed as another reply box was opened. An apology to the Acheworld community was in order. I hate doing these things...yet, I gotta do it...
Apprehensive though they were, like children going into the deep end for the first time, she stretched her fingers over the keyboard once more, swearing never to make a mistake like this again...
professorhazard
+1 -0
Actually, there IS a typo in there. That, or the heretofore unseen portmanteau of "emaciated" and "emancipated".
Actually, there IS a typo in there. That, or the heretofore unseen portmanteau of "emaciated" and "emancipated".
irondave
+0 -0
Beamishly?
Beamishly?
professorhazard
+2 -0
Adjective. The manner in which Willy Beamish acts.
Adjective. The manner in which Willy Beamish acts.
tekende
+0 -0
Adverb.
Adverb.
baryonyx
+4 -0
Dear Reader, I do not expect the following piece to be very good until it has reached its Final Draft, and so you may not Judge me if you find it unsatisfactory.
Cpnglxynchos was a regular man. A very regular man. The most regular type of man you might expect to see at a bowling alley, or [making incisions in his body and watching them as they seal up]*. As a child Cpnglxynchos enjoyed interactions with those of his own age, and together they would [set up surveillance cameras in iceboxes and then lock dogs inside]^ like many other children. These were some of his fonder memories. One day he died.
*eating a dinner at a table
^throw objects harmlessly
Dear Reader, I do not expect the following piece to be very good until it has reached its Final Draft, and so you may not Judge me if you find it unsatisfactory.
Cpnglxynchos was a regular man. A very regular man. The most regular type of man you might expect to see at a bowling alley, or [making incisions in his body and watching them as they seal up]*. As a child Cpnglxynchos enjoyed interactions with those of his own age, and together they would [set up surveillance cameras in iceboxes and then lock dogs inside]^ like many other children. These were some of his fonder memories. One day he died.
*eating a dinner at a table
^throw objects harmlessly
tekende
+0 -0
Virtual chubby of great appreciation.
Virtual chubby of great appreciation.
deusoma
+0 -0
I would like to clarify that I gave this a chubby because the fact that technically there now exists Me/Achewood crossover fanfiction blows my mind , not because I want to have an illicit affair with Molly.
I would like to clarify that I gave this a chubby because the fact that technically there now exists Me/Achewood crossover fanfiction blows my mind , not because I want to have an illicit affair with Molly.
ford
+0 -0
Wait.
Captain Picard was in The Neverending Story ?
Wait.
Captain Picard was in The Neverending Story ?
tekende
+0 -0
He should have been. Can you imagine him riding that big flying dog-dragon thing? That would have rocked.
He should have been. Can you imagine him riding that big flying dog-dragon thing? That would have rocked.
ford
+0 -0
They should have had him voice the rockbiter. Just cause it would have made no damn sense .
They should have had him voice the rockbiter. Just cause it would have made no damn sense .
tekende
+0 -0
oh GOD
what have you done
what did you DO?
oh GOD
what have you done
what did you DO?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Jesus, this is so good people. Can I direct the short film of this for the next time they make a Creepshow sequel?
Jesus, this is so good people. Can I direct the short film of this for the next time they make a Creepshow sequel?
gethen
+0 -0
I wish I had a chubby left to give to you, baronyx.
I wish I had a chubby left to give to you, baronyx.
filament
+1 -0
I think Onstad is just acknowledging the general confusion and reaction to yesterday's strip. They can't all be winners...
I think Onstad is just acknowledging the general confusion and reaction to yesterday's strip. They can't all be winners...
cbtbone
+0 -0
yeah, I also thought this was some kind of apology for the last comic being disconnected and weird. And, like most great apologies, it's extremely unsettling and creepy.
yeah, I also thought this was some kind of apology for the last comic being disconnected and weird. And, like most great apologies, it's extremely unsettling and creepy.
-0_0-
+0 -0
the last one didn't NEED an apology
the last one didn't NEED an apology
ponce_de_leon
+0 -0
A comment left by ponce_de_leon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, pmoney187, professorhazard, RogerGS, Agrajag, FirePowa8, mortshire, tsume454, equinn2006, smugairle)
A comment left by ponce_de_leon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, pmoney187, professorhazard, RogerGS, Agrajag, FirePowa8, mortshire, tsume454, equinn2006, smugairle)
professorhazard
+0 -1
Which one of them is the dog?
Which one of them is the dog?
lawbot
+0 -0
A comment left by lawbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hootplate, cbtbone, achilleselbow)
A comment left by lawbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hootplate, cbtbone, achilleselbow)
daidai
+0 -0
This arc is terrifying.
This arc is terrifying.
professorhazard
+2 -0
It is like largest man, lookink into tiniest room.
It is like largest man, lookink into tiniest room.
toiletstore
+0 -0
Okay.
Okay.
rogergs
+0 -1
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHIT!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHIT!
epicurus
+1 -0
That "prostitute" doesn't like like something I want to have sex with OR eat. A real first!
That "prostitute" doesn't like like something I want to have sex with OR eat. A real first!
lateadopter
+0 -0
Please do not volunteer your reaction to office furniture.
Please do not volunteer your reaction to office furniture.
professorhazard
+1 -0
It does kind of resemble a Like-Like, now that you mention it.
It does kind of resemble a Like-Like, now that you mention it.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Who's That Pokem a n?!
It's Like-Like!
Like-Like! Like-Like!
Who's That Pokem a n?!
It's Like-Like!
Like-Like! Like-Like!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Actually, there basically is a Like-Like Pokemon. Look up "Gulpin", and its evolution, "Swalot".
Actually, there basically is a Like-Like Pokemon. Look up "Gulpin", and its evolution, "Swalot".
cbtbone
+0 -0
OH CRAP, IT ATE MY SHIELD!
OH CRAP, IT ATE MY SHIELD!
baryonyx
+0 -0
GOD DAMMIT NOW I HAVE TO GO BUY ANOTHER THAT'S LIKE 80 RUPEES AAAAGH
GOD DAMMIT NOW I HAVE TO GO BUY ANOTHER THAT'S LIKE 80 RUPEES AAAAGH
wilto
+0 -0
Shh, man... It's cool. Relax. I got your rupees. Go ahead; take them. Don't say nothin' to anyone, though.
It's a secret to everybody.
Shh, man... It's cool. Relax. I got your rupees. Go ahead; take them. Don't say nothin' to anyone, though.
It's a secret to everybody.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Grumble, grumble...
Grumble, grumble...
postblank
+0 -0
Buy something will ya?
Buy something will ya?
professorhazard
+0 -0
Let's play money-making game.
Let's play money-making game.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Pay me and I'll talk.
Pay me and I'll talk.
postblank
+0 -0
Walk into the waterfall.
Walk into the waterfall.
baryonyx
+0 -0
The East Penninsula is the Secret.
The East Penninsula is the Secret.
professorhazard
+0 -0
THE MOTHERFUCKING DODONGO IS NOT FOND OF SMOKE
THE MOTHERFUCKING DODONGO IS NOT FOND OF SMOKE
joeyramoney
+0 -0
A comment left by joeyramoney was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by postblank, joeynarcotic, lemnlime2)
A comment left by joeyramoney was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by postblank, joeynarcotic, lemnlime2)
jordstar
+0 -0
I will not name my daugher Cynthia.
I will not name my daugher Cynthia.
jordstar
+0 -0
or my daughter
or my daughter
lawbot
+3 -2
I just did name your daughter Cynthia. You'd be amazed how many things can be done by post.
I just did name your daughter Cynthia. You'd be amazed how many things can be done by post.
jordstar
+3 -0
Cynthia? Honey? Where are y-- OH MY GOD WHERE ARE MOST OF YOUR ARMS AND LEGS
Cynthia? Honey? Where are y-- OH MY GOD WHERE ARE MOST OF YOUR ARMS AND LEGS
wittyname
+0 -0
I don't know what you're smoking to think that the only thing missing is a few limbs, but I would rather never smoke it either.
I don't know what you're smoking to think that the only thing missing is a few limbs, but I would rather never smoke it either.
jordstar
+0 -0
It would have been quite a silly exclamation to rattle off the full inventory of what's missing.
It would have been quite a silly exclamation to rattle off the full inventory of what's missing.
ford
+1 -0
OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOUR ARMS, LEGS, HEAD, MOST OF YOUR TORSO, BUTTOCKS AND FACE? ALSO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW YOU ARE TALKING
OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOUR ARMS, LEGS, HEAD, MOST OF YOUR TORSO, BUTTOCKS AND FACE? ALSO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW YOU ARE TALKING
jordstar
+0 -0
As I suspected! Quite silly.
As I suspected! Quite silly.
jaspermeer
+0 -0
A comment left by jaspermeer was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by eatmorekix, michellemarie, octafish)
A comment left by jaspermeer was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by eatmorekix, michellemarie, octafish)
falseprophet
+2 -0
Most of Gravity's Rainbow is an allusion to Gravity's Rainbow .
Most of Gravity's Rainbow is an allusion to Gravity's Rainbow .
proof_man
+0 -0
the first thing i thought was gravity's rainbow. the whole taking about joke formulas and things brought it to a whole new self-aware level that done broke it.
the first thing i thought was gravity's rainbow. the whole taking about joke formulas and things brought it to a whole new self-aware level that done broke it.
hereward
+0 -0
can you explain this allusion to me? I am reading gravity's rainbow now, nearly finished & there are many things in it, but I don't see any similarities with this strip, which seems more like david lynch.
can you explain this allusion to me? I am reading gravity's rainbow now, nearly finished & there are many things in it, but I don't see any similarities with this strip, which seems more like david lynch.
proof_man
+0 -0
you haven't gotten there yet...finish it first (i don't want to spoil anything). it's not an exact translation, but it works in the same way. i agree with the david lynch comparison, too. i actually just finished watching mulholland drive a few moment ago.
you haven't gotten there yet...finish it first (i don't want to spoil anything). it's not an exact translation, but it works in the same way. i agree with the david lynch comparison, too. i actually just finished watching mulholland drive a few moment ago.
tekende
+0 -0
I hate that movie.
I hate that movie.
biff
+0 -0
Do you refer to Mulholland Drive ?
Other than the gratuitous girl-on-girl sex scene, I found the movie pointless. Sometimes the suspension of disbelief required to sit through a movie seems completely out of sync with its content.
Do you refer to Mulholland Drive ?
Other than the gratuitous girl-on-girl sex scene, I found the movie pointless. Sometimes the suspension of disbelief required to sit through a movie seems completely out of sync with its content.
joeynarcotic
+2 -1
Were you looking for a plot in a work of art? Often a mistake - see also the last two days' strips.
Were you looking for a plot in a work of art? Often a mistake - see also the last two days' strips.
tekende
+0 -0
That is what I refer to, yes, and I agree with you. No point, no sensible content, no merit whatsoever.
That is what I refer to, yes, and I agree with you. No point, no sensible content, no merit whatsoever.
jar
+0 -0
Depression and seeing Eraserhead one too many times have not mixed well for Roast Beef.
Depression and seeing Eraserhead one too many times have not mixed well for Roast Beef.
neonfreon
+0 -0
it's mushroom season in california
it's mushroom season in california
zek
+2 -1
I believe this strip would have been significantly improved if it had simply ended after the first 11 panels.
I believe this strip would have been significantly improved if it had simply ended after the first 11 panels.
zek
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
baryonyx
+0 -0
The man has a point.
The man has a point.
dovey
+1 -0
No.
No.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
I politely disagree! The fact that the strip slowly begins to taper off as Beef is coming to the realization that his prostitute is a vagina/anus ferret hybrid is too amusing.
"aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
At least that's this sadist's point of view.
I politely disagree! The fact that the strip slowly begins to taper off as Beef is coming to the realization that his prostitute is a vagina/anus ferret hybrid is too amusing.
"aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
At least that's this sadist's point of view.
nutmeg
+3 -0
i hate when asset-hats write Onstad's comic for him. all over this page are potential directions for Onstad to take his arc....
people, consume and resume. (your life).
i hate when asset-hats write Onstad's comic for him. all over this page are potential directions for Onstad to take his arc....
people, consume and resume. (your life).
nymphadoria
+0 -0
I'm a very confused person right now...very confused
I'm a very confused person right now...very confused
thegoodwillgirl
+3 -0
I'll tell you right now, this strip has made me more uncomfortable to be named Cynthia than anything ever has.
I'd like to think that I'm a bit more than just a hunk of meat with a vagina and an anus, but some of the guys I've dated might disagree.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I'll tell you right now, this strip has made me more uncomfortable to be named Cynthia than anything ever has.
I'd like to think that I'm a bit more than just a hunk of meat with a vagina and an anus, but some of the guys I've dated might disagree.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
kevh
+0 -0
The little oozes just make everything that much more uncomfortable.
The little oozes just make everything that much more uncomfortable.
lateadopter
+5 -0
It's that sort of attention to detail that rebuts the claims (above) that Onstad is tired, lazy, or phoning it in.
It's that sort of attention to detail that rebuts the claims (above) that Onstad is tired, lazy, or phoning it in.
lemnlime2
+0 -0
my only question: who's gary?
my only question: who's gary?
lateadopter
+0 -0
Gary is the man who can fix the Achewood machine.
Gary is the man who can fix the Achewood machine.
irondave
+0 -0
Wait a MINUTE! Is it Gary Larson? I want it to be Gary Larson.
Wait a MINUTE! Is it Gary Larson? I want it to be Gary Larson.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Gary is Scruffy's real name. He's the janitor.
Gary is Scruffy's real name. He's the janitor.
hamscout
+13 -0
DAMMIT! I've been trying to post this for TWO DAYS! It's GOT to be Gary Larson!
[IMGS OFF]
DAMMIT! I've been trying to post this for TWO DAYS! It's GOT to be Gary Larson!
[IMGS OFF]
irondave
+0 -0
Chub, chub, chubbied. It's like breaking a code.
Chub, chub, chubbied. It's like breaking a code.
gumption
+0 -0
A comment left by gumption was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, Telescreen, Zek)
A comment left by gumption was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, Telescreen, Zek)
lemnlime2
+0 -0
that is probably the best state of mind to look at this comic
that is probably the best state of mind to look at this comic
numberkillinger
+0 -0
laming is not the best way to support a person who is on acid.
laming is not the best way to support a person who is on acid.
ford
+0 -0
What's funny is that the first time I did mushrooms, the "Harper's 27 Women" strip ran, we were all confused and i posted that i picked a fucked up time to start eating mushrooms. Then the next day, having sobered up, I clarified that I had actually been on mushrooms when posting. I got two chubbies, gumption gets three lames.
What's funny is that the first time I did mushrooms, the "Harper's 27 Women" strip ran, we were all confused and i posted that i picked a fucked up time to start eating mushrooms. Then the next day, having sobered up, I clarified that I had actually been on mushrooms when posting. I got two chubbies, gumption gets three lames.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
apparently others here prefer doing 'shrooms to dropping acid.
apparently others here prefer doing 'shrooms to dropping acid.
fattybeaver
+0 -0
A comment left by fattybeaver was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by eatmorekix, mortshire, loneal, Flyffe, dino_grill)
A comment left by fattybeaver was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by eatmorekix, mortshire, loneal, Flyffe, dino_grill)
wfl
+0 -1
I know what the problem is. It seems to lack what your avatar has an ample supply of.
I of course, refer to what beef appreciates to the point of being capable of ordering.. The Breast Man.
-WFL
I know what the problem is. It seems to lack what your avatar has an ample supply of.
I of course, refer to what beef appreciates to the point of being capable of ordering.. The Breast Man.
-WFL
professorhazard
+2 -1
You don't have to sign your posts, man. We know it's you.
You don't have to sign your posts, man. We know it's you.
wfl
+0 -2
Sorry, force of habit.
-.. err..
Sorry, force of habit.
-.. err..
fineoakstructure
+5 -2
Almost true, but it doesn't have a face, so where am I supposed to shit when I'm done?
Almost true, but it doesn't have a face, so where am I supposed to shit when I'm done?
achilleselbow
+1 -1
Wow...why did I just give you a chubby for that. I am not a good person.
Wow...why did I just give you a chubby for that. I am not a good person.
tekende
+0 -0
This reminds me of Manflesh's Seven of Nine/Kes/Janeway slashfic.
This reminds me of Manflesh's Seven of Nine/Kes/Janeway slashfic.
usversusthem
+0 -0
I am crying right now. You are a bad man. I was trying to forget that.
I am crying right now. You are a bad man. I was trying to forget that.
pogo
+0 -0
I coulc watch your icon bounce all day.
I coulc watch your icon bounce all day.
dino_grill
+0 -0
i feel reassured that chris knows how to crudely draw lady parts too. i was getting worried.
i feel reassured that chris knows how to crudely draw lady parts too. i was getting worried.
bradypalvarez
+0 -2
how surreal
how surreal
afronaut
+0 -2
!!!
!!!
mikeleffel2
+1 -1
haw
haw
catgrl131
+0 -0
I don't know why, but I just noticed, in panel fifteen, in the second square, Roast Beef's mouth looks kinda creepy.
I don't know why, but I just noticed, in panel fifteen, in the second square, Roast Beef's mouth looks kinda creepy.
a-halter
+0 -1
I'm afraid you lost me.
I'm afraid you lost me.
jawsh
+1 -1
i'm back what'd i miss
i'm back what'd i miss
chuvak
+2 -0
I like to think that Beef is just standing there going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA until someone fixes him.
I like to think that Beef is just standing there going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA until someone fixes him.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I believe the increased klicking of the frames speeding by is supposed to imply that Beef's scream, at this point, sounds all choppy and burbly, like when a movie's film strip breaks - thus making Cynthia's speech balloon all the creepier.
I believe the increased klicking of the frames speeding by is supposed to imply that Beef's scream, at this point, sounds all choppy and burbly, like when a movie's film strip breaks - thus making Cynthia's speech balloon all the creepier.
housewife
+0 -0
A comment left by housewife was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, Hootplate, scraggg)
A comment left by housewife was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, Hootplate, scraggg)
terrainasaur
+0 -0
A comment left by terrainasaur was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, michellemarie, scraggg)
A comment left by terrainasaur was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mckayle, michellemarie, scraggg)
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
My favorite pick up line. Just point and say!
My favorite pick up line. Just point and say!
susurrus
+0 -1
when was the last time onstead broke the fourth wall?
when was the last time onstead broke the fourth wall?
peterjoel
+0 -0
Ray and Teodor discuss Ray's upcoming storyline
Achewood is not handicap-accessible
There are probably others. But not many.
Also there are a few strips where Onstad appears. But he's never referred to as the strip author, and there is no indication that the characters see him as such.
Ray and Teodor discuss Ray's upcoming storyline
Achewood is not handicap-accessible
There are probably others. But not many.
Also there are a few strips where Onstad appears. But he's never referred to as the strip author, and there is no indication that the characters see him as such.
dasilodavi
+0 -1
I don't know exactly where the fourth wall is here, but it's got a big hole in it.
I don't know exactly where the fourth wall is here, but it's got a big hole in it.
sirhan_duran
+0 -1
God damn it.
I liked this.
God damn it.
I liked this.
sirhan_duran
+0 -0
Fuck you, Hootplate.
Fuck you, Hootplate.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
See how almost all the comments posted around this time have at least 1 lame? Yeah, that was Hootplate.
The only thing stupider than joining an online forum to talk about cartoon cats is joining an online forum to not talk but anonymously lame the people who do it.
See how almost all the comments posted around this time have at least 1 lame? Yeah, that was Hootplate.
The only thing stupider than joining an online forum to talk about cartoon cats is joining an online forum to not talk but anonymously lame the people who do it.
evolume
+0 -1
Dear God what IS that thing?
-Westly The Princess Bride
Dear God what IS that thing?
-Westly The Princess Bride
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I want to see the original sketches for the prostitute. Many a time have I penciled something so awkward and bizzare. THe pencil sketches are usually even more uncomfortable to view.
I want to see the original sketches for the prostitute. Many a time have I penciled something so awkward and bizzare. THe pencil sketches are usually even more uncomfortable to view.
crayons
+0 -0
A comment left by crayons was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hootplate, nhennies, nutmeg)
A comment left by crayons was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hootplate, nhennies, nutmeg)
singtralala
+0 -0
i just love roast beef's eyes on this whole strip
also i'm kinda freaked out
i just love roast beef's eyes on this whole strip
also i'm kinda freaked out
housewife
+0 -0
it's, uh, post-modern?
I don't know, this is the first indication that this world (achewood) is a fabricated thing.
Or, like, it's really taxing it's creator or something.
let's have pity
it's, uh, post-modern?
I don't know, this is the first indication that this world (achewood) is a fabricated thing.
Or, like, it's really taxing it's creator or something.
let's have pity
farqussus
+0 -0
I can't rate this. I refuse to rate this. I don't know how.
I can't rate this. I refuse to rate this. I don't know how.
c_dizzle
+1 -0
I think this sequence of steady decline in plot consistency and tandem rise in depravity is what Don Hertzfeldt went through near the end of Rejected Cartoon.
Oh god. ...DON TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF ACHEWOOD!?!
I think this sequence of steady decline in plot consistency and tandem rise in depravity is what Don Hertzfeldt went through near the end of Rejected Cartoon.
Oh god. ...DON TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF ACHEWOOD!?!
susurrus
+0 -0
i keep staring at it. DEAR GOD I KEEP STARING AT IT!!! HELP ME WHY CAN'T I STOP STARING AT IT!!!
i keep staring at it. DEAR GOD I KEEP STARING AT IT!!! HELP ME WHY CAN'T I STOP STARING AT IT!!!
professorhazard
+0 -0
The more I stare at it, the more I fear that this is the final strip, and that the promised Wednesday update is not coming.
The more I stare at it, the more I fear that this is the final strip, and that the promised Wednesday update is not coming.
irondave
+0 -0
Psych!
Psych!
professorhazard
+0 -0
I'm not angry, so much as relieved!
I'm not angry, so much as relieved!
dovey
+0 -0
When I saw that Onstad was planning on delivering a "state of the union," that was my first thought as well, that Achewood was coming to an end.
When I saw that Onstad was planning on delivering a "state of the union," that was my first thought as well, that Achewood was coming to an end.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
The joke is that the cat is wearing trousers.
The joke is that the cat is wearing trousers.
chuvak
+0 -0
"Hello and There Have You Been!"... Typo, or clever word play? Discuss.
"Hello and There Have You Been!"... Typo, or clever word play? Discuss.
irondave
+0 -0
Clever. Additional topic: Who was Chris going to draw gorillas with? His daughter? Gary Larson? Another person unknown?
Clever. Additional topic: Who was Chris going to draw gorillas with? His daughter? Gary Larson? Another person unknown?
jordstar
+0 -0
Probably his daughter, but Gary Larson did draw some good gorillas.
Probably his daughter, but Gary Larson did draw some good gorillas.
fairwinds
+0 -0
Only just a minute ago did I recognize this thing, this sex hot dog apparently, as having genitalia.
I thought it was some sad, deformed, hairless bunny. All anus mouth and vaginal ears, I now realize.
I don't know I feel about this. I don't know how I feel about my euphemistic bunny. I don't know how I feel about this sex hot dog.
Only just a minute ago did I recognize this thing, this sex hot dog apparently, as having genitalia.
I thought it was some sad, deformed, hairless bunny. All anus mouth and vaginal ears, I now realize.
I don't know I feel about this. I don't know how I feel about my euphemistic bunny. I don't know how I feel about this sex hot dog.
cormanosanchez
+1 -0
If you guys have played any Silent Hill games, this strip isn't so esoteric at all.
Hell, think of it as the Winky's moment in Mulholland Drive. Beef is waiting for his turn, for his own version of what assertive men like Ray get first dibs on, but his is all the refuse of his mind and fears condensed and it IS that horrible and it IS disturbing and yes, he's screaming.
If you guys have played any Silent Hill games, this strip isn't so esoteric at all.
Hell, think of it as the Winky's moment in Mulholland Drive. Beef is waiting for his turn, for his own version of what assertive men like Ray get first dibs on, but his is all the refuse of his mind and fears condensed and it IS that horrible and it IS disturbing and yes, he's screaming.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Chubby for the silent hill reference.
Chubby for the silent hill reference.
dersquirrel
+0 -0
I don't understand why this has such a low rating. This is one of my all-time favorites.
I don't understand why this has such a low rating. This is one of my all-time favorites.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
I'm actually a little sick of the constant "you don't think like I do therefore you suck!" attitude I've seen for the last thousand odd strips. While anonymity is nice and prevents what would assuredly be an ass-whupping in real life it doesn't mean be the biggest dick you can just because you can get away with it. I'm all for fun and giving some shit here and there, and I think some of my replies to Asherdan have been the harshest, but fuck guys, it's a comic. Not just a comic, but an incredibly badass comic. Most of your opinions are awesome, funny, or at least entertaining, but what's with the super dick attitude? Let's all crack open some hell of crispy stellas and stare at some rude titties.
I'm actually a little sick of the constant "you don't think like I do therefore you suck!" attitude I've seen for the last thousand odd strips. While anonymity is nice and prevents what would assuredly be an ass-whupping in real life it doesn't mean be the biggest dick you can just because you can get away with it. I'm all for fun and giving some shit here and there, and I think some of my replies to Asherdan have been the harshest, but fuck guys, it's a comic. Not just a comic, but an incredibly badass comic. Most of your opinions are awesome, funny, or at least entertaining, but what's with the super dick attitude? Let's all crack open some hell of crispy stellas and stare at some rude titties.
freerhi
+1 -0
oh god! i love this one! top marks to the staddy daddy. aiiiiiii! (does best borat impression) "Very nice" lol i love that! see you soon @ the pearly gates,lumpy beast! marmite extract of.........
..........
.........yeast
oh god! i love this one! top marks to the staddy daddy. aiiiiiii! (does best borat impression) "Very nice" lol i love that! see you soon @ the pearly gates,lumpy beast! marmite extract of.........
..........
.........yeast
arelladawn
+0 -0
Woah.
Woah.
puguglypress
+1 -0
Chris was so far ahead of us on this one. He was like in a whole different world, trying to describe it to people who could only see shadows on the wall
Chris was so far ahead of us on this one. He was like in a whole different world, trying to describe it to people who could only see shadows on the wall
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
your comment is so good.
what an excellent description.
your comment is so good.
what an excellent description.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i make this comic bounce between a three five and six.
raaaaad
i make this comic bounce between a three five and six.
raaaaad
dipstikk
+1 -0
A lot of you need to stop searching for a meaning to this. Surreal humor that renders you unable to do anything but sit back and giggle like a moron while just going along for the ride is great. I've never seen it rendered better in a panel format than in Achewood.
A lot of you need to stop searching for a meaning to this. Surreal humor that renders you unable to do anything but sit back and giggle like a moron while just going along for the ride is great. I've never seen it rendered better in a panel format than in Achewood.
puguglypress
+0 -1
surreality w/o meaning is just dada. there needs to be some kind of undercurrent, even if it's subtle/strange. This aint fuckin Family Guy
surreality w/o meaning is just dada. there needs to be some kind of undercurrent, even if it's subtle/strange. This aint fuckin Family Guy
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This was my first achewood strip ever.
This was my first achewood strip ever.
puguglypress
+0 -0
That HAS to be a lie.
That HAS to be a lie.
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
Fuck the fourth wall.
Seriously, fuck that guy.
Fuck the fourth wall.
Seriously, fuck that guy.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Kick it in the balls with a cock-punch!
Kick it in the balls with a cock-punch!
A comment left by mustacheninja was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rad-chillies, waddie, rude_mechanical, wittyname, mortshire, abj, habnabit, mendenbar, littlefatdog)
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The alt-text explains it, a lot.
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...owls don't wear pants.
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT DOGS.
[IMGS OFF]
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That would entail the risk of not being first.
The solution is to have a moderator, or ignore the more vacuous postings.
A comment left by rowboat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sinisterscrawl, waddie, QingofChina)
Agreed.
Immoderators only.
Technically, everyone here is a moderator.
Agreed, mainly because moderators tend to be self-righteous pricks who think they always know what's best for a disparate grouping of braying jackasses like us.
THE JACKASSES MUST BRAY
They muft
What you did there. I see it.
I see you, Laserblade.
That's Laserblade. I see him.
I see Laserblade.
Unfortunate, unintentional Avatar references.
IT MADE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME!
I THOUGHT WHAT I WOULD DO WAS...I can't bring myself to continue...
You just keep those swords and tequila coming.
Or at least the tequila. Mas y mas.
A comment left by streever was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by evolume, IJC, trawser)
A comment left by johnnyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, evolume, changuitotuerto, uberbee, QingofChina)
Hee haw!
Wow. People are really not fond of self-righteous braying jackasses.
Johnny C, you are still my main braying jackass
The guys who lamed you must be moderators.
or just people who disagree with me. that's possible, too.
What?
INDEED
I like that your terrifying icon is just screaming, "INDEED."
Gregor Samsa is ghost writing today
Is that . . .Kafka?