thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I don't want to know how she's picking up the silver dollar.
I don't want to know how she's picking up the silver dollar.
aperson
+3 -0
Cornelius is the silver dollar. And yeah, you don't wanna know.
Cornelius is the silver dollar. And yeah, you don't wanna know.
dwodles
+0 -0
I think we all had different interpretations of the 'silver dollar'. I thought it was a dancer's name.
I think we all had different interpretations of the 'silver dollar'. I thought it was a dancer's name.
davey-boy
+6 -0
Silver dollar seems like a play on the colloquial 'silver fox'. Pretty much asking who would want to bilk the old guy out of some easy, albeit wrinkly, cash.
Silver dollar seems like a play on the colloquial 'silver fox'. Pretty much asking who would want to bilk the old guy out of some easy, albeit wrinkly, cash.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
yeah, cornelius is gonna get played for a fool.
yeah, cornelius is gonna get played for a fool.
wilto
+4 -0
Not ol' Connie; not the winner of the Badass Games. No man who makes pasta using a booze-decanter - when asked to make bread - could be played by some strumpet.
Not ol' Connie; not the winner of the Badass Games. No man who makes pasta using a booze-decanter - when asked to make bread - could be played by some strumpet.
norrin
+0 -0
Very wise people can become very, very stupid when smitten.
Very wise people can become very, very stupid when smitten.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
I dunno. The Badass Games were formulated by dudes. Cornelius is playing a different game; a fraction-of-his-age-stripper's game
I dunno. The Badass Games were formulated by dudes. Cornelius is playing a different game; a fraction-of-his-age-stripper's game
cbtbone
+1 -0
Candyland?
Candyland?
lateadopter
+0 -0
Read Cornelius' blog. He went to Europe pursuing some pretty young thing a while back. The guy goes soft in the head and does silly things when presented with a fine exemplar of feminine pulchritude.
Read Cornelius' blog. He went to Europe pursuing some pretty young thing a while back. The guy goes soft in the head and does silly things when presented with a fine exemplar of feminine pulchritude.
wilto
+0 -0
But... If there's no hope for Cornelius, as badass as he is... What hope is there for any of us..?
But... If there's no hope for Cornelius, as badass as he is... What hope is there for any of us..?
redphillip
+0 -0
Obviously, none whatsoever. All that's left is the hope that one emerges with minimum damage. And, unless it's your thing, no visible scars.
Obviously, none whatsoever. All that's left is the hope that one emerges with minimum damage. And, unless it's your thing, no visible scars.
lateadopter
+0 -0
The visible scars will only be on my thing? I'm not sure that's better.
The visible scars will only be on my thing? I'm not sure that's better.
zapatos
+0 -0
He was doing nothing silly, he was being super BAD ASS. It is super BAD ASS to stalk a lady across the globe. CORNELIUS.
He was doing nothing silly, he was being super BAD ASS. It is super BAD ASS to stalk a lady across the globe. CORNELIUS.
someonegreat
+0 -0
Okay, but it's entirely possible that she's not a strumpet. She could actually have a heart of gold.
Okay, but it's entirely possible that she's not a strumpet. She could actually have a heart of gold.
i_love_kate
+0 -1
lol a striper is bascialy a prostituite man u betta reconise
lol a striper is bascialy a prostituite man u betta reconise
belgand
+0 -0
I do not want to see Neil Young nude. I most emphatically do not.
I do not want to see Neil Young nude. I most emphatically do not.
redphillip
+0 -0
Not even in his CSNY days would I have wanted to see Neil naked.
Not even in his CSNY days would I have wanted to see Neil naked.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Yes, this is the correct answer.
Yes, this is the correct answer.
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
It turns out I am not sad that I did not know the language of strip clubs.
Interestingly enough, it also turns out that I am happy that I know it now!
It turns out I am not sad that I did not know the language of strip clubs.
Interestingly enough, it also turns out that I am happy that I know it now!
sje46
+0 -0
HEY GIRL I LIVE CLOSE TO GEOGRAPHICALLY:
Are there any good strip clubs nearby? Maybe we should go to one to see what all the fuss is about.
HEY GIRL I LIVE CLOSE TO GEOGRAPHICALLY:
Are there any good strip clubs nearby? Maybe we should go to one to see what all the fuss is about.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Smooooood.
Did you wax your hair straight back with pomade like I tolds ya little fella?
Smooooood.
Did you wax your hair straight back with pomade like I tolds ya little fella?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
There aren't any too close by. I think there's Ten's, in Salisbury, but I'm pretty sure they don't get 100% clotheless.
I think Rhode Island is good for that though?
There aren't any too close by. I think there's Ten's, in Salisbury, but I'm pretty sure they don't get 100% clotheless.
I think Rhode Island is good for that though?
invidious
+2 -0
Wellll, the girls in Rhode Island get 100% naked, yes, but the girls in Rhode Island probably should not get 100% naked. Ever. Capiche?
Wellll, the girls in Rhode Island get 100% naked, yes, but the girls in Rhode Island probably should not get 100% naked. Ever. Capiche?
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
If you're going to Providence, hit The Foxy Lady. The Cadillac Lounge and Cheaters are there too, but unless you like your women to have crummy boobs I would steer clear.
If you're going to Providence, hit The Foxy Lady. The Cadillac Lounge and Cheaters are there too, but unless you like your women to have crummy boobs I would steer clear.
norrin
+0 -0
If anyone ever needs strip club info about places in the El Paso, Texas and Lincoln, Nebraska areas, let me know.
I...I used to have problems.
If anyone ever needs strip club info about places in the El Paso, Texas and Lincoln, Nebraska areas, let me know.
I...I used to have problems.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
From memory of your previous personal revelations on here this new information is suprising.
From memory of your previous personal revelations on here this new information is suprising.
sje46
+0 -0
I ain't taking no boat to no island.
If I wanted to see an island of nudity I would take a plane to Micronesia.
I think MA has full-out nudity, though. NH has pasties (I think).
By the way, Salisbury is a dump. But I'll go there if you want to.
I ain't taking no boat to no island.
If I wanted to see an island of nudity I would take a plane to Micronesia.
I think MA has full-out nudity, though. NH has pasties (I think).
By the way, Salisbury is a dump. But I'll go there if you want to.
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
I think that it is cute that you've based a desire to go to a strip club with me on three things:
1.) I am a girl.
2.) I live near you.
3.) I like a comic that you like.
Though you could probably subtract any of these facts and the other two would still support said desire.
Or you just like strip clubs, but realize that you should not go alone. I think this is the safest bet.
I think that it is cute that you've based a desire to go to a strip club with me on three things:
1.) I am a girl.
2.) I live near you.
3.) I like a comic that you like.
Though you could probably subtract any of these facts and the other two would still support said desire.
Or you just like strip clubs, but realize that you should not go alone. I think this is the safest bet.
tekende
+0 -0
Personally I think all of those reasons in conjunction are perfectly valid for wanting to go to a strip club with you. But that's just me. And sje46, apparently.
Personally I think all of those reasons in conjunction are perfectly valid for wanting to go to a strip club with you. But that's just me. And sje46, apparently.
sje46
+0 -0
So this is a yes?
So this is a yes?
zapatos
+0 -0
Shit, I would fly across the States to go party with some rad people from Assetbar. I would buy a plane ticket, fly to where you live,follow you into a grocery store share adventures.
We should really get to work on this...
Shit, I would fly across the States to go party with some rad people from Assetbar. I would buy a plane ticket, fly to where you live,
We should really get to work on this...
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Ok rhode Island isn't really an island, you just take 95 south. It's about 40 minutes from Boston, 20 minutes from me. Not a lot to do there other than the skin joints I'm afraid.
MA does have full on nudity. I celebrated my 18th at Alex's in Stoughton. $10 cover, $15 for 2 cokes and $15 for the most beautiful girl I've ever seen to put (drag) her pierced lap on my face. I said "What time do you get off?" and she replied with "That depends how good you are, sugar."
Since there are ladies abound I'll spare the further vulgarity, but.. seriously the best night of my life.
Ok rhode Island isn't really an island, you just take 95 south. It's about 40 minutes from Boston, 20 minutes from me. Not a lot to do there other than the skin joints I'm afraid.
MA does have full on nudity. I celebrated my 18th at Alex's in Stoughton. $10 cover, $15 for 2 cokes and $15 for the most beautiful girl I've ever seen to put (drag) her pierced lap on my face. I said "What time do you get off?" and she replied with "That depends how good you are, sugar."
Since there are ladies abound I'll spare the further vulgarity, but.. seriously the best night of my life.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I don't see no ladies around.
I don't see no ladies around.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok I explained my girlfriend's urine fetish you have to divulge.
Ok I explained my girlfriend's urine fetish you have to divulge.
fuzzyshoo
+2 -0
I took her to a book club meeting, afterwards our eyes met and we held hands and gazed upon one another lovingly as we walked beneath the boughs of friendship lane.
We spent the next 8 months fucking.
I took her to a book club meeting, afterwards our eyes met and we held hands and gazed upon one another lovingly as we walked beneath the boughs of friendship lane.
We spent the next 8 months fucking.
redphillip
+0 -0
She had a taste for chicken, did she?
Your mutual stamina is impressive. I've never gone 8 hours, much less 8 months.
Snark mode off, good on you, lad. I'm a firm believer in the salutary effects of getting mad rutty as often as possible.
She had a taste for chicken, did she?
Your mutual stamina is impressive. I've never gone 8 hours, much less 8 months.
Snark mode off, good on you, lad. I'm a firm believer in the salutary effects of getting mad rutty as often as possible.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
I wish, we "dated", in the sense that we'd meet up for a drink and up at her place to get down.
As evidenced in the comic that follows this, strippers have pretty low standards. A good looking guy with a wallet comes along, they can't help but to fall in "love".
I wish, we "dated", in the sense that we'd meet up for a drink and up at her place to get down.
As evidenced in the comic that follows this, strippers have pretty low standards. A good looking guy with a wallet comes along, they can't help but to fall in "love".
redphillip
+0 -0
Where, exactly, is Geographically?
Where, exactly, is Geographically?
sje46
+0 -0
Well, I went to high school in the town she currently lives in.
Well, I went to high school in the town she currently lives in.
sje46
+0 -0
Oops. I misread the question to mean something that isn't profoundly stupid.
Geographically is an adverb, not a noun.
[I'm kidding. I'm sure you are smart. Maybe this isn't your native language.]
Oops. I misread the question to mean something that isn't profoundly stupid.
Geographically is an adverb, not a noun.
[I'm kidding. I'm sure you are smart. Maybe this isn't your native language.]
farqussus
+0 -0
He did mean it as a noun, but with sarcasms, and/or perhaps ironies.
He did mean it as a noun, but with sarcasms, and/or perhaps ironies.
sje46
+0 -0
[I know.]
Can I has some ironies?
[I know.]
Can I has some ironies?
farqussus
+0 -0
If you know, then you have more sarcasms and ironies than I can detect through a screen, and I am swirling in a vortex of meaning.
If you know, then you have more sarcasms and ironies than I can detect through a screen, and I am swirling in a vortex of meaning.
redphillip
+0 -0
I was being a pedantic old fart. Goes with the drain bammage. I would be, I suspect, an amalgam of of Téodor and Cornelius, seeking to correct and educate Philippe through snark. This would fail. I, Téornelius, would correctly understand myself piteously inept, and go back to my cave.
I promise to leave all further parental responsibility to Le Chat Boite.
I was being a pedantic old fart. Goes with the drain bammage. I would be, I suspect, an amalgam of of Téodor and Cornelius, seeking to correct and educate Philippe through snark. This would fail. I, Téornelius, would correctly understand myself piteously inept, and go back to my cave.
I promise to leave all further parental responsibility to Le Chat Boite.
sje46
+0 -0
You do realize that adverbs can go almost anywhere in a sentence, right?
You do realize that adverbs can go almost anywhere in a sentence, right?
farqussus
+0 -0
Don't say that. That would make me a pedantic old fart. I'm not ready.
Don't say that. That would make me a pedantic old fart. I'm not ready.
redphillip
+0 -0
We're never ready for pedantic old fartdom. The only choice, however, is the pedantic part. The rest follows of necessity.
We're never ready for pedantic old fartdom. The only choice, however, is the pedantic part. The rest follows of necessity.
kickstart
+0 -0
"Silver Dollar" reminded me of diner jargon. Kill a cow and give it wheels, eighty-six the bacon, Adam and Eve on a raft...
"Silver Dollar" reminded me of diner jargon. Kill a cow and give it wheels, eighty-six the bacon, Adam and Eve on a raft...
deepomega
+1 -0
By lighting his hand-rolled with a match struck using only her nethers.
By lighting his hand-rolled with a match struck using only her nethers.
quazifuji
+1 -0
With her eyelids.
With her eyelids.
invidious
+13 -0
Well, with only a $3 cover there's probably lots of silver dollars lying around.
A strip-club with a $3 cover is gonna be a rough place. The sorta place that has six strippers and five bouncers but only eight employees.
Well, with only a $3 cover there's probably lots of silver dollars lying around.
A strip-club with a $3 cover is gonna be a rough place. The sorta place that has six strippers and five bouncers but only eight employees.
wotown
+0 -0
That was some delicious math. Thank you.
That was some delicious math. Thank you.
wtfoxnews
+6 -0
so thats how teodor makes a living
so thats how teodor makes a living
saulbellow
+0 -0
No kidding - have we seen those 1920s Dagwood Bumstead eyes anywhere else?
No kidding - have we seen those 1920s Dagwood Bumstead eyes anywhere else?
octafish
+2 -0
Apart from the golddigger airline hostess?
Apart from the golddigger airline hostess?
saulbellow
+0 -0
Oh man you win you win
Oh man you win you win
usversusthem
+0 -0
That was Teodor too ? Oh god the plot she thickens
I mean I'm not sure if I can handle this guys
maybe you should go on without me
That was Teodor too ? Oh god the plot she thickens
I mean I'm not sure if I can handle this guys
maybe you should go on without me
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Leave no man behind.
Where's that Insectile Banjo when you need it to drag someone kicking and screaming.
Leave no man behind.
Where's that Insectile Banjo when you need it to drag someone kicking and screaming.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Don't judge him. You've not had his life.
Don't judge him. You've not had his life.
possums
+8 -0
Great, they introduce a new female character and it's Teodor only half a foot taller and with tits.
Great, they introduce a new female character and it's Teodor only half a foot taller and with tits.
jeet
+0 -0
DOGSHIIIIIIIIT
DOGSHIIIIIIIIT
jeet
+0 -0
TIIIIIIITS
TIIIIIIITS
tripleg
+1 -0
CLIIIIITS
CLIIIIITS
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THEEEEEEEM.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THEEEEEEEM.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
MMOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIVVEENLAVEN[/jerryLewis]
MMOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIVVEENLAVEN[/jerryLewis]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yes.
yes.
apples
+0 -0
i hope giant eyeless stripper teodor isn't a new female character for long. and i hope the old bear doesn't have sex with giant eyeless stripper teodor.
it's definitely a time for waking up and it all being a dream...
i hope giant eyeless stripper teodor isn't a new female character for long. and i hope the old bear doesn't have sex with giant eyeless stripper teodor.
it's definitely a time for waking up and it all being a dream...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Eyeless?
Eyeless?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Pupilless.
Pupilless.
falseprophet
+2 -0
Oh shit. Given that Achewood has been following a pattern of having female characters look like their male counterparts, the question on the mind of America is obvious:
What if that's Penny?
Oh shit. Given that Achewood has been following a pattern of having female characters look like their male counterparts, the question on the mind of America is obvious:
What if that's Penny?
speccer
+0 -0
Yet another possibility of relation back to The Party arc!
Yet another possibility of relation back to The Party arc!
usversusthem
+0 -0
I think Noah definitely missed out by not naming it "The Party Ark"
( Ed.'s note: that would have been kickass )
I think Noah definitely missed out by not naming it "The Party Ark"
( Ed.'s note: that would have been kickass )
possums
+0 -0
To reiterate, I made this post about two minutes after the strip and now you need to scroll a fourth of the way down to find it.
ASSETBAR.
To reiterate, I made this post about two minutes after the strip and now you need to scroll a fourth of the way down to find it.
ASSETBAR.
speccer
+0 -0
Assetbar, a labyrinth of threads and comments.
Assetbar, a labyrinth of threads and comments.
tripleg
+2 -0
"when in sodom" is a motto to be cross-stitched and lovingly displayed in dorm rooms across the land
"when in sodom" is a motto to be cross-stitched and lovingly displayed in dorm rooms across the land
redphillip
+0 -0
Would make a dandy T-shirt, and I'd even consider an Achewood tattoo with the phrase.
Would make a dandy T-shirt, and I'd even consider an Achewood tattoo with the phrase.
peppill
+1 -0
I say! This is a homeboy!
I say! This is a homeboy!
peng33
+0 -0
Bit forward, isn't she? Even for a stripper, I mean.
Cornelius hadn't even responded and she'd already grabbed him with a questionably-venereal-disease-free-hand on the shoulder.
Bit forward, isn't she? Even for a stripper, I mean.
Cornelius hadn't even responded and she'd already grabbed him with a questionably-venereal-disease-free-hand on the shoulder.
ummagumma
+0 -0
Based on my experience, that's normal stripper protocol. Depending on how classy the place is, the next step ranges from "(pulls up a chair) Hi! I could really use a drink! You wanna get us ( read: buy me ) a few?" to "HEY. I saw you checkin' me out! ( usually not true ) You can pay for that drink of yours, but you don't got no money to give me a tip, huh??"
Based on my experience, that's normal stripper protocol. Depending on how classy the place is, the next step ranges from "(pulls up a chair) Hi! I could really use a drink! You wanna get us ( read: buy me ) a few?" to "HEY. I saw you checkin' me out! ( usually not true ) You can pay for that drink of yours, but you don't got no money to give me a tip, huh??"
tekende
+1 -0
Or she will tell you that she really likes your Cure shirt and that The Cure is like her favorite band ever
Or she will tell you that she really likes your Cure shirt and that The Cure is like her favorite band ever
zapatos
+0 -0
But nobody likes The Cure, that's silly.
But nobody likes The Cure, that's silly.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
dangelder
+0 -0
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
cyberia
+0 -0
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
And he's accepting her advances after only the briefest assessment of her character.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
ANIMAL CHANGES MY PASSWORD!
ANIMAL CHANGES MY PASSWORD!
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
jonmw
+1 -0
I can see him now all FURIOUSLY hacking some computer, screaming HA-CKING, HA-CKING, HA-CKING all the while
I can see him now all FURIOUSLY hacking some computer, screaming HA-CKING, HA-CKING, HA-CKING all the while
lavienoir
+1 -0
...do as the Sodomites do? I think you're in the wrong place for that, Cornelius.
...do as the Sodomites do? I think you're in the wrong place for that, Cornelius.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Not necessarily. The Sodomites were pretty much into everything. Human filth was very popular.
Not necessarily. The Sodomites were pretty much into everything. Human filth was very popular.
daidai
+1 -0
They called them "butt toys"
They called them "butt toys"
sje46
+0 -0
Mom said that Sodomites are so sinful that they kiss on the first date.
Mom said that Sodomites are so sinful that they kiss on the first date.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
on the genitals... of their first date's brother... who died last week... from syphillis... that he caught from his mother...
Back me up here kiddies:
on the genitals... of their first date's brother... who died last week... from syphillis... that he caught from his mother...
Back me up here kiddies:
sabata00
+7 -0
... The Aristocrats.
... The Aristocrats.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
OK fine, I'll admit it, I've never understood the Aristocrats references. There. My shame is bare.
OK fine, I'll admit it, I've never understood the Aristocrats references. There. My shame is bare.
redphillip
+0 -0
Personally, I prefer to see shame bare. It's also pretty exciting if you unsuccessfully try to hide it behind your ragged, torn underpants.
Personally, I prefer to see shame bare. It's also pretty exciting if you unsuccessfully try to hide it behind your ragged, torn underpants.
sje46
+2 -0
It's a film with Bob Saget.
Therefore it should be family friendly.
It's a film with Bob Saget.
Therefore it should be family friendly.
laserblade
+7 -0
"Well a woman who'll kiss on the very first date
Is usually a hussy
And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out
Is anything but fussy
But a woman who'll wait till the third time around
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground!
She's the girl he's glad he's found
She's his shipoopi"
--Winston Churchill
"Well a woman who'll kiss on the very first date
Is usually a hussy
And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out
Is anything but fussy
But a woman who'll wait till the third time around
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground!
She's the girl he's glad he's found
She's his shipoopi"
--Winston Churchill
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*cue Family Guy Showstopping TD Celebration*
*cue Family Guy Showstopping TD Celebration*
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I feel that I am obligated to chubby this.
I feel that I am obligated to chubby this.
speccer
+0 -0
Ca-ca was very popular. Well, it was almost as popular as the graveyard.
Ca-ca was very popular. Well, it was almost as popular as the graveyard.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
They had sex with rocks painted to look like God's face, and most of them couldn't even get off without eating filth.
They had sex with rocks painted to look like God's face, and most of them couldn't even get off without eating filth.
bjorntd
+2 -0
Don't forget about Gomorrah, which was named after an even weirder move.
Don't forget about Gomorrah, which was named after an even weirder move.
usversusthem
+0 -0
...and I'm not even gonna touch how they got a new tribe of people started.
(Genesis 19. Total. Insanity.)
...and I'm not even gonna touch how they got a new tribe of people started.
(Genesis 19. Total. Insanity.)
i_love_kate
+2 -0
And the little-known third city, Commodore.
And the little-known third city, Commodore.
stereo
+0 -0
So bad God struck it from the records.
So bad God struck it from the records.
drskradley
+0 -0
When used as a colloquial Victorian metaphor, Sodom was up for everything, friend. In this conversational realm, they may have even taken Lot up on the offer to gang rape his virginal, early-teen-at-most daughters.
When used as a colloquial Victorian metaphor, Sodom was up for everything, friend. In this conversational realm, they may have even taken Lot up on the offer to gang rape his virginal, early-teen-at-most daughters.
belgand
+2 -0
What sensible person would not have taken such an offer?
What sensible person would not have taken such an offer?
sje46
+0 -0
Virgin means young woman in the Bible though.
Virgin means young woman in the Bible though.
sje46
+0 -0
Or so I have heard.
Or so I have heard.
tripleg
+0 -0
the more culturally relevant (although not much anymore) translation being "maiden"
the more culturally relevant (although not much anymore) translation being "maiden"
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Maiden also means virgin though in most pre-modern usage.
Maiden also means virgin though in most pre-modern usage.
tripleg
+0 -0
and in quite a bit of modern usage as well, the point being that maiden, to the modern ear, carries the fuller cultural connotation (age, sex, social status) than virgin, which tends to carry a more technical connotation (e.g. one who has not engaged in intercourse)
/priggish pedantry
and in quite a bit of modern usage as well, the point being that maiden, to the modern ear, carries the fuller cultural connotation (age, sex, social status) than virgin, which tends to carry a more technical connotation (e.g. one who has not engaged in intercourse)
/priggish pedantry
kamet
+2 -0
Haaard cooooore term diiiiickiiiin'
Haaard cooooore term diiiiickiiiin'
tripleg
+0 -0
don't fuck with a classicist
don't fuck with a classicist
hedonismbot
+0 -0
"Maidens aspiring to Godhead, and vice versa"
"Maidens aspiring to Godhead, and vice versa"
farqussus
+0 -0
I give Godhead. Ladies.
I give Godhead. Ladies.
doctordung
+0 -0
"Do you give at the airport?" is what I want to know.
"Do you give at the airport?" is what I want to know.
sje46
+0 -0
Give what? I'm sorry, but it appears that you forgot to type that word.
Give what? I'm sorry, but it appears that you forgot to type that word.
hoboninja
+0 -0
I accidentally a whole coke bottle.
I accidentally a whole coke bottle.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Accidentally what? Drank?
Accidentally what? Drank?
speccer
+1 -0
I just accidentally 93 MB of .rar files. Is this dangerous?
I just accidentally 93 MB of .rar files. Is this dangerous?
paradigmeyes
+2 -0
USE ACTION VERBS
USE ACTION VERBS
sje46
+0 -0
Can you say that again? I think that Assetbar is deleting the word.
Can you say that again? I think that Assetbar is deleting the word.
farqussus
+1 -0
I did, after I got introduced to Achewood, but then I met this bass player. Then something about someone writing emails and now I'm upset or something. I just don't have the dedication to run with this.
I did, after I got introduced to Achewood, but then I met this bass player. Then something about someone writing emails and now I'm upset or something. I just don't have the dedication to run with this.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Best version of [insert joke here] ever. Nice one.
Best version of [insert joke here] ever. Nice one.
tekende
+0 -0
Why would I give at the airport? What is it, church?
Why would I give at the airport? What is it, church?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Why would you give at Church? What is it my bank account?
Why would you give at Church? What is it my bank account?
falseprophet
+1 -0
Damn right it's your bank account.
The PIN number is GOD.
Damn right it's your bank account.
The PIN number is GOD.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Damn right it's your bank account.
The PIN number is GOD.
Damn right it's your bank account.
The PIN number is GOD.
tekende
+1 -0
falseprophet, the man so nice he posted twice.
falseprophet, the man so nice he posted twice.
zapatos
+0 -0
I was reading a good book there, once.
I was reading a good book there, once.
pogo
+0 -0
Right, the Romans and other ancients had figured out long ago that dickery made girls preggers, so it was off limits until daddy-o said so and sold you to some dude.
Right, the Romans and other ancients had figured out long ago that dickery made girls preggers, so it was off limits until daddy-o said so and sold you to some dude.
kamet
+0 -0
But once you were married.. Nothin but parties and orgies.
But once you were married.. Nothin but parties and orgies.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Heh... No, though.
Heh... No, though.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Maybe not in your neck of the woods... There is a reason I have a 43 pound collection of keys near the bed
Maybe not in your neck of the woods... There is a reason I have a 43 pound collection of keys near the bed
achilleselbow
+0 -0
They probably weren't even virgins anyway.
They probably weren't even virgins anyway.
mrklaw
+1 -0
Commodore.
Commodore.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ain't no angels for which to have rapes with.
Ain't no angels for which to have rapes with.
paperboy_2000
+28 -0
Cornelius is not following the protocal of decorum. Mistaking a stripper for your soulmate is supposed to come after the beer, Long Island Iced Teas, laughing with her over how skanky the other girls are, the Jagerbombs, and listening to her life story. This is like pouring the Gatorade on your coach after you win the coin toss.
Cornelius is not following the protocal of decorum. Mistaking a stripper for your soulmate is supposed to come after the beer, Long Island Iced Teas, laughing with her over how skanky the other girls are, the Jagerbombs, and listening to her life story. This is like pouring the Gatorade on your coach after you win the coin toss.
octafish
+3 -0
Don't you believe inlove lust at first site?
[i]Yes I am certain it happens all the tiiiiime.....[i/]
Don't you believe in
[i]Yes I am certain it happens all the tiiiiime.....[i/]
octafish
+0 -0
Jesus, three weeks away and no sleep and I forget how to BBCODE.
Jesus, three weeks away and no sleep and I forget how to BBCODE.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
BBCode ate my baby !!
How is the little tacker?
BBCode ate my baby !!
How is the little tacker?
octafish
+1 -0
She is as they say "wakeful", meaning not unhappy but also not asleep very often. Other than that she is perfect!
She is as they say "wakeful", meaning not unhappy but also not asleep very often. Other than that she is perfect!
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Oh, yes, lust is not unusual. It just seems like Cornelius thinks he has found a manic pixie dream girl to teach him how to be young again. I would hope that would first take a couple fingers of Laphroig and a few lines of Shelley.
Oh, yes, lust is not unusual. It just seems like Cornelius thinks he has found a manic pixie dream girl to teach him how to be young again. I would hope that would first take a couple fingers of Laphroig and a few lines of Shelley.
sje46
+0 -0
That reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4_MsrsKzMM
Also. Beatles rock. You get a chubby.
That reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4_MsrsKzMM
Also. Beatles rock. You get a chubby.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Your mom poured the Gatorade on my coach last night.
...in other words, I'm going to start using that expression to refer to sex.
Also, it was the same Gatorade irateturk's girlfriend used for the basketball team.
Your mom poured the Gatorade on my coach last night.
...in other words, I'm going to start using that expression to refer to sex.
Also, it was the same Gatorade irateturk's girlfriend used for the basketball team.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
A certain friend of mine determines that a stripper is his soulmate every time we go to Tropical Lei. It's disturbing - he chitchats with them for a few minutes and they tell him their "real name," they say. I think that any good stripper has a fake real name for such occasions. The last one was a latina girl who claimed to be an Ursula, but I think she was just messing with him. I tipped her well for the effort in messing with him, after Ursula spent the better part of a half hour on my lap.
A certain friend of mine determines that a stripper is his soulmate every time we go to Tropical Lei. It's disturbing - he chitchats with them for a few minutes and they tell him their "real name," they say. I think that any good stripper has a fake real name for such occasions. The last one was a latina girl who claimed to be an Ursula, but I think she was just messing with him. I tipped her well for the effort in messing with him, after Ursula spent the better part of a half hour on my lap.
belgand
+0 -0
Amusingly my standard fake name has been Cornelius since well before the beginning of Achewood. I think that everyone ought to have a standard alias.
Also fun is utilizing a series of relatively well-known aliases from film and literature. This, however, is a bit more of a personal shame in watching how poor the cultural knowledge of the average person is.
Amusingly my standard fake name has been Cornelius since well before the beginning of Achewood. I think that everyone ought to have a standard alias.
Also fun is utilizing a series of relatively well-known aliases from film and literature. This, however, is a bit more of a personal shame in watching how poor the cultural knowledge of the average person is.
retro
+0 -0
I was under the impression that everyone who was anyone already had a standard alias. I can't count the number of times it has come in handy for me.
I was under the impression that everyone who was anyone already had a standard alias. I can't count the number of times it has come in handy for me.
octafish
+0 -0
Lance Savage at your service...
Lance Savage at your service...
speccer
+0 -0
Edward Engel, present and accounted for!
I hope nobody notices I just made that up
Edward Engel, present and accounted for!
I hope nobody notices I just made that up
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Joachim Murat here. I started using it out of curiosity to see if anyone would pick up the reference, but now sadly they think I'm ripping off an actor.
Joachim Murat here. I started using it out of curiosity to see if anyone would pick up the reference, but now sadly they think I'm ripping off an actor.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Anna Constance Harrow.
Anna Constance Harrow.
octafish
+0 -0
Joachim Murat = Vain prissy man. I prefer Breaker Morant's last words before a firing squad "Shoot straight you bastards, don't make a mess of it", so much more better than "Not in the face, not in the face".
Joachim Murat = Vain prissy man. I prefer Breaker Morant's last words before a firing squad "Shoot straight you bastards, don't make a mess of it", so much more better than "Not in the face, not in the face".
octafish
+0 -0
...so much more better???
...so much more better???
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Vain, yes. Prissy? Dude (allegedly) commanded his own firing squad! I heard it as "straight to the heart boys, spare the head. Ready, Aim, Fire!"
Vain, yes. Prissy? Dude (allegedly) commanded his own firing squad! I heard it as "straight to the heart boys, spare the head. Ready, Aim, Fire!"
farqussus
+0 -0
Joachim = prissy
Joachim = prissy
sje46
+0 -0
I have three: one of which is Maxwell Cornelius Jones IV, esq.
I have three: one of which is Maxwell Cornelius Jones IV, esq.
belgand
+0 -0
Cornelius Mansfield. There is more truth in it than you will ever realize as well. I also give this almost exclusively as my name when at parties with drunk people who do not know me. I do not want to know them. If they ever meet me again and I, for some reason, find I do want to know them, they will merely think they were confused in their drunken haze and I will find it amusing.
It also helps me understand how and when I met people that I run into whom I do not recognize (i.e. basically everyone).
Cornelius Mansfield. There is more truth in it than you will ever realize as well. I also give this almost exclusively as my name when at parties with drunk people who do not know me. I do not want to know them. If they ever meet me again and I, for some reason, find I do want to know them, they will merely think they were confused in their drunken haze and I will find it amusing.
It also helps me understand how and when I met people that I run into whom I do not recognize (i.e. basically everyone).
stereo
+0 -0
I do the same thing online - each group hears a different "real name". It's the only way I can really tell who someone is when they randomly send me messages on MSN.
I generally use single syllable names, so people don't give me a nickname and confuse me.
I do the same thing online - each group hears a different "real name". It's the only way I can really tell who someone is when they randomly send me messages on MSN.
I generally use single syllable names, so people don't give me a nickname and confuse me.
belgand
+0 -0
I prefer to use a single, constant name online and have done so for well over a decade now.
I prefer to use a single, constant name online and have done so for well over a decade now.
stereo
+0 -0
Well, I prefer people to just call me Stereo. But if they insist...
Well, I prefer people to just call me Stereo. But if they insist...
juanclaudius
+0 -0
Frederick Schlowski. Miss Schlowski's dead husband from Kindergarten Cop.
I have also operated under the name Arthur Digby Sellers: does anyone get this reference? wave your hands in the air.
Frederick Schlowski. Miss Schlowski's dead husband from Kindergarten Cop.
I have also operated under the name Arthur Digby Sellers: does anyone get this reference? wave your hands in the air.
tripleg
+0 -0
not a lightweight
not a lightweight
belgand
+0 -0
Just a little show called Branded?
What I meant, though, is that I prefer aliases that were used in films as aliases. Keyser Soze is a bit over-used these days, but George Kaplan is a great way to tell if the person possesses class.
Just a little show called Branded?
What I meant, though, is that I prefer aliases that were used in films as aliases. Keyser Soze is a bit over-used these days, but George Kaplan is a great way to tell if the person possesses class.
hamscout
+0 -0
Yes, "Misty", I just left my hotel in Rapids City, South Dakota.
Yes, "Misty", I just left my hotel in Rapids City, South Dakota.
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
I go by John Tuttle in anything I have to put a first/last on that isn't really necessary. (Online signups, BBB complaints, etc)
I go by John Tuttle in anything I have to put a first/last on that isn't really necessary. (Online signups, BBB complaints, etc)
davey-boy
+0 -0
Do you classify your occupation as a heating engineer?
Do you classify your occupation as a heating engineer?
octafish
+0 -0
Art Vandelay, Kel Varnsen and H.E. Pennypacker?
Art Vandelay, Kel Varnsen and H.E. Pennypacker?
belgand
+0 -0
What about Donald O'Brien? Far less likely to be caught with that one.
What about Donald O'Brien? Far less likely to be caught with that one.
kickstart
+0 -0
Martin Van Nostrand
Martin Van Nostrand
falseprophet
+0 -0
Michael "Nigger Guy" Richards
Michael "Nigger Guy" Richards
tekende
+0 -0
That's the bulk of the series.
That's the bulk of the series.
cbtbone
+0 -0
You're killing your father, Larry.
You're killing your father, Larry.
belgand
+0 -0
Near the In 'n Out Burger.
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps!
Near the In 'n Out Burger.
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, what.
Man, what.
tripleg
+0 -0
i used to hang out with a dude who thought every prostitute was his girlfriend. all of them, sadly, turned down his offers of marriage.
i used to hang out with a dude who thought every prostitute was his girlfriend. all of them, sadly, turned down his offers of marriage.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
"...that's just my stage name. I feel like I know you well enough to tell you my real name. It's Ursula. Ursula Undress."
"...that's just my stage name. I feel like I know you well enough to tell you my real name. It's Ursula. Ursula Undress."
telescreen
+11 -0
I don't think that he thinks "soulmate." I think he is merely astounded that she doesn't reek of the normal stripper's brew of depression, children, molestation, and tragedy. She is living her life in libertine fashion, unapologetically .
I don't think that he thinks "soulmate." I think he is merely astounded that she doesn't reek of the normal stripper's brew of depression, children, molestation, and tragedy. She is living her life in libertine fashion, unapologetically .
paperboy_2000
+2 -0
On further review, I endorse this interpretation. Cornelius isn't necessarily smitten, but excited as if he spotted a rare bird species. Like Flazisimuss describes above, I've seen that stripper infatuation, and I laid it unfairly on Cornelius.
But please, Cornelius, no photography. The Audubon society does not want a picture of Raven.
On further review, I endorse this interpretation. Cornelius isn't necessarily smitten, but excited as if he spotted a rare bird species. Like Flazisimuss describes above, I've seen that stripper infatuation, and I laid it unfairly on Cornelius.
But please, Cornelius, no photography. The Audubon society does not want a picture of Raven.
telescreen
+1 -0
In the coming weeks we shall see whose interpretation plays out. I'm guessing that badass Cornelius has been in a few lewd establishments in his day and would not be tricked so easily.
In the coming weeks we shall see whose interpretation plays out. I'm guessing that badass Cornelius has been in a few lewd establishments in his day and would not be tricked so easily.
jeet
+0 -1
The sentence of the day?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The sentence of the day?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
tipist
+1 -0
Are you..... high?
Are you..... high?
dangelder
+0 -0
yeah
yeah
nerdinexile
+1 -0
I don't think I've ever seen a question more perfectly answered by the questioner's own avatar.
I don't think I've ever seen a question more perfectly answered by the questioner's own avatar.
tripleg
+2 -0
that is the sentence i say every time i see your avacon
that is the sentence i say every time i see your avacon
davey-boy
+1 -0
There is no way you are even close to being old enough to have seen 'Pee-Wee's Playhouse'
There is no way you are even close to being old enough to have seen 'Pee-Wee's Playhouse'
myfirstpost
+2 -0
Now why the hell can this asshole post eighty bajillion times a day and I am allotted but ONE opportunity to dig for chubbies, of which there are apparently scant few available, in my quest for self-affirmation amidst the unending bevy of individuals waiting to assist in my quest for self-affirmation that is the internet; leading me to jam as much information into each post as possible which leaves me not only: unable and unlikely to receive a chubby but ALSO fuckin' pissed off?
In short... wtf.
Now why the hell can this asshole post eighty bajillion times a day and I am allotted but ONE opportunity to dig for chubbies, of which there are apparently scant few available, in my quest for self-affirmation amidst the unending bevy of individuals waiting to assist in my quest for self-affirmation that is the internet; leading me to jam as much information into each post as possible which leaves me not only: unable and unlikely to receive a chubby but ALSO fuckin' pissed off?
In short... wtf.
davey-boy
+0 -0
There is a certain amount of strips you must read via assetbar before you can post more than once a day. Helps reduce trolls.
There is a certain amount of strips you must read via assetbar before you can post more than once a day. Helps reduce trolls.
rowboat
+2 -0
Dude reads eight strips and he thinks assetbar owes him something.
Assetbar don't owe you NOTHING, holmes!
Dude reads eight strips and he thinks assetbar owes him something.
Assetbar don't owe you NOTHING, holmes!
jeet
+0 -1
It's not about the chubbies, man! It's about having your voice heard ! Letting the masses hear what YOU have to say!
RSS feeds might help, though.
It's not about the chubbies, man! It's about having your voice heard ! Letting the masses hear what YOU have to say!
RSS feeds might help, though.
tripleg
+0 -0
you're like the crazy, underage janis joplin of assetbar, aren't you?
you're like the crazy, underage janis joplin of assetbar, aren't you?
jeet
+0 -0
No, I'm just a girl who likes achewood and happens to have an animated GIF of me with a puppet as my icon.
I got so much more respect when it was Drinky Crow...
No, I'm just a girl who likes achewood and happens to have an animated GIF of me with a puppet as my icon.
I got so much more respect when it was Drinky Crow...
davey-boy
+0 -0
What I like to do is have an audio chat with my sister while looking at your avatar, and observing how many times your avatar and her speech patterns line up.
What I like to do is have an audio chat with my sister while looking at your avatar, and observing how many times your avatar and her speech patterns line up.
rowboat
+1 -0
So, are you the bird in this fantasy?
So, are you the bird in this fantasy?
davey-boy
+0 -0
...What?
...What?
rowboat
+0 -0
The puppet. Are you the puppet?
Also, never mind.
The puppet. Are you the puppet?
Also, never mind.
zapatos
+0 -0
I never get respect, but that is okay.
I never get respect, but that is okay.
lawdog
+4 -0
The Frotted John... a members only establishment.
The Frotted John... a members only establishment.
morypcaina
+0 -0
It's a good thing retardo isn't still around given that alt text.
It's a good thing retardo isn't still around given that alt text.
drskradley
+2 -0
"Oh Chris, something something buttsex check it out I'm gay isn't that CRAZY???"
"Oh Chris, something something buttsex check it out I'm gay isn't that CRAZY???"
theguitarhero
+0 -0
"OMG SO TRUE."
"OMG SO TRUE."
eatmorekix
+1 -0
it's not just a nonsense name either, "frotted" referring to frottage. one could also assume the "john" comes from the slang term a prostitute uses to refer to a client.
think about it, thi-think about it
it's not just a nonsense name either, "frotted" referring to frottage. one could also assume the "john" comes from the slang term a prostitute uses to refer to a client.
think about it, thi-think about it
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i like that song.
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit...
*feedback/turntable duet*
rad.
i like that song.
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit
'kaboutit...
*feedback/turntable duet*
rad.
stereo
+0 -0
Check... out... my.... mell...low...deeeeee...
Check... out... my.... mell...low...deeeeee...
speccer
+0 -0
Care to dish a track ID, any of you guys? I am very much interested in this type of music, assuming my inferences are correct.
Care to dish a track ID, any of you guys? I am very much interested in this type of music, assuming my inferences are correct.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Isn't it Limp Bizkit?
DON'T EVA JUDGE ME
Isn't it Limp Bizkit?
DON'T EVA JUDGE ME
speccer
+0 -0
To what depths my heart has sunk.
To what depths my heart has sunk.
speccer
+0 -0
Though it is impolite to leave you without so much as a "thanks", autrepoupee.
So,
Thanks, autrepoupee.
Though it is impolite to leave you without so much as a "thanks", autrepoupee.
So,
Thanks, autrepoupee.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Th-th-th-th-thinkaboutit
Some people are going to claim it was a Flight of the Concords reference. I know their true intentions, don't believe the hype.
don'-don'-don't believe THE HYPE
Th-th-th-th-thinkaboutit
Some people are going to claim it was a Flight of the Concords reference. I know their true intentions, don't believe the hype.
don'-don'-don't believe THE HYPE
stereo
+0 -0
I wish I knew how to remix songs so I could pretend that I'd heard some crazy mixture of the two songs and didn't just refer to a random song by the same artist...
Yeah, that'd be swell.
I wish I knew how to remix songs so I could pretend that I'd heard some crazy mixture of the two songs and didn't just refer to a random song by the same artist...
Yeah, that'd be swell.
mo_rose
+0 -0
Yea!! Boyeee
Yea!! Boyeee
octafish
+2 -0
At the count of three I want you all to tell me the name of my DJ... One... Two... Three...
Termina... wait no.. Johnny Juice? no no he is just a studio DJ, ummm, yeah, is it? DJ LORD!
At the count of three I want you all to tell me the name of my DJ... One... Two... Three...
Termina... wait no.. Johnny Juice? no no he is just a studio DJ, ummm, yeah, is it? DJ LORD!
speccer
+0 -0
After all these years, Upfront vol VI is still an awesome mix. Rather conventional naming system he had.
After all these years, Upfront vol VI is still an awesome mix. Rather conventional naming system he had.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is the second time you've shown yourself to be knowledgeable in the ways of Bizkit. For shame.
This is the second time you've shown yourself to be knowledgeable in the ways of Bizkit. For shame.
belgand
+0 -0
It is indeed rare for a strip club to specifically refer to the exact service they provide on the slate.
It is indeed rare for a strip club to specifically refer to the exact service they provide on the slate.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
It used to be the Rotted John, but they're trying to appeal to a premium clientele now.
It used to be the Rotted John, but they're trying to appeal to a premium clientele now.
ortsac
+0 -0
Wonder what Beef is up to.
Wonder what Beef is up to.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
I'll bet he is enjoying himself more than he did at Haunches. He has those Hey Now! eyebrows going on in panel 2.
Marriage has changed our little dogg.
I'll bet he is enjoying himself more than he did at Haunches. He has those Hey Now! eyebrows going on in panel 2.
Marriage has changed our little dogg.
octafish
+0 -0
Beef is now Hank Kingsley, he has started looking for backers for his ground level revolving restaurant.
Hey Now!
Beef is now Hank Kingsley, he has started looking for backers for his ground level revolving restaurant.
Hey Now!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
A pork chop always looks tastier when you've committed to vegetarianism
A pork chop always looks tastier when you've committed to vegetarianism
davey-boy
+1 -0
Stoked on his own motivations, he takes a stride of confidence to a little corner of the joint to play the 'trashy strip club player'.
He will grab a familiar one by the side of her hip and drag her into his lap with an uncharacteristically enthusiastic 'Su-zaaaan! Come over here and pretend to like me for a little bit.'
Unfortunately, this will be all he will be able to come up with, and he will give her a nice tip, appologising for bothering her, and finish the evening slumped over the same drink he ordered when he arrived.
Stoked on his own motivations, he takes a stride of confidence to a little corner of the joint to play the 'trashy strip club player'.
He will grab a familiar one by the side of her hip and drag her into his lap with an uncharacteristically enthusiastic 'Su-zaaaan! Come over here and pretend to like me for a little bit.'
Unfortunately, this will be all he will be able to come up with, and he will give her a nice tip, appologising for bothering her, and finish the evening slumped over the same drink he ordered when he arrived.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Wow. Rough.
Wow. Rough.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What a devious little so and so!
What a devious little so and so!
jackscolon
+0 -0
That thing looks huge compared to cornelius.
That thing looks huge compared to cornelius.
rkikdnec
+0 -0
But remember... Cornelius is SITTING! I assumed she was standing ...or straddling him...
But remember... Cornelius is SITTING! I assumed she was standing ...or straddling him...
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
Oh my god, she is totally straddling him!
There is a stripper atop that polite old bear!
Oh my god, she is totally straddling him!
There is a stripper atop that polite old bear!
wilto
+12 -0
The ether was wearing off, the acid was long gone, but the mescaline was running strong. We were sitting at a small round gold formica table, moving in orbit around the bartender.
"Look over there," she said. "There is a stripper atop that polite old bear."
"Please," he said. "Don't tell me these things. Not now."
The ether was wearing off, the acid was long gone, but the mescaline was running strong. We were sitting at a small round gold formica table, moving in orbit around the bartender.
"Look over there," she said. "There is a stripper atop that polite old bear."
"Please," he said. "Don't tell me these things. Not now."
octafish
+2 -0
Backdoor baby?
Backdoor baby?
tekende
+0 -0
Oh hell yes. This may be the best comment ever.
Oh hell yes. This may be the best comment ever.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
have you seen their shoes though
why do you think beef likes it so much?
have you seen their shoes though
why do you think beef likes it so much?
irondave
+0 -0
The shoes are usually interesting, yes.
The shoes are usually interesting, yes.
dwodles
+0 -0
I have only ever been to one strip club in my 21 years...as kind of a dare while in Vegas. I will never go to another one. There was a four drink minimum and the place was as dark as the circles under the dancer's eyes. And I'm pretty sure a few of the girls were pre-ops. I went to the bathroom and one of the ladies said "How you doing, sugar?" and I was reminded of that one scene in Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams is all dressed up like an old lady but he forgets and starts talking like a regular Joe. This was not the best of times.
I have only ever been to one strip club in my 21 years...as kind of a dare while in Vegas. I will never go to another one. There was a four drink minimum and the place was as dark as the circles under the dancer's eyes. And I'm pretty sure a few of the girls were pre-ops. I went to the bathroom and one of the ladies said "How you doing, sugar?" and I was reminded of that one scene in Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams is all dressed up like an old lady but he forgets and starts talking like a regular Joe. This was not the best of times.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Scary. Was this a way-off-the-Strip strip club? Or perhaps catering to a special clientele. My experience with Vegas strip clubs was that they could be cold and mercenary, or over-heated bacchanals, but usually glitzy with drop-dead gorgeous women, just because of the level of competition in Sin City.
But I guess for every Bellagio, there's a Slots-A-Fun.
Scary. Was this a way-off-the-Strip strip club? Or perhaps catering to a special clientele. My experience with Vegas strip clubs was that they could be cold and mercenary, or over-heated bacchanals, but usually glitzy with drop-dead gorgeous women, just because of the level of competition in Sin City.
But I guess for every Bellagio, there's a Slots-A-Fun.
hedonismbot
+3 -0
I think the idea of her story is that there were no fun slots at this place
I think the idea of her story is that there were no fun slots at this place
belgand
+1 -1
Those artificial looking women one so often sees actually come off as far less attractive than the pre-ops to me. I will never understand what the apparent interest is there.
I think a point could be made for the type of society being defined, in a way, by it's strip clubs. San Francisco, for instance, has a notably worker-owned, unionized strip club catering to more of an alt. clientele.
Those artificial looking women one so often sees actually come off as far less attractive than the pre-ops to me. I will never understand what the apparent interest is there.
I think a point could be made for the type of society being defined, in a way, by it's strip clubs. San Francisco, for instance, has a notably worker-owned, unionized strip club catering to more of an alt. clientele.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Alt pornography and alt sex period amuses me. Why do men need to imagine that their sexual object actually has the same interests as them? What does that matter, when it is just something you're imagining fucking, anyway? I guess I just don't get it; why not photoshop a pin-up tattoo and an opinion on Neutral Milk Hotel onto Pamela Anderson?
Alt pornography and alt sex period amuses me. Why do men need to imagine that their sexual object actually has the same interests as them? What does that matter, when it is just something you're imagining fucking, anyway? I guess I just don't get it; why not photoshop a pin-up tattoo and an opinion on Neutral Milk Hotel onto Pamela Anderson?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Mainly because I'm sick of the same rouged plastic assholes every month. I'd much prefer a few inked, plaid assholes.
Mainly because I'm sick of the same rouged plastic assholes every month. I'd much prefer a few inked, plaid assholes.
belgand
+1 -0
I'm not really into the tattoos or piercings as I tend to find both rather unseemly, but I find the women to be far more attractive. The artifical-looking women that make up much of porn and that are often presented as being "hot" do nothing for me. I find them viciously unattractive.
I find women I see on the street generally much, much more attractive than, say, Pamela Anderson (disgusting), Angelina Jolie (visually offensive, her mouth disturbs me intensely), or Halle Berry (puke-o-tronic).
So it has nothing to do with interests, it's entirely an issue of aesthetics and a dislike for the portrayal of what is considered "attractive" that is prevalent in much of the mainstream.
I could, perhaps, extend this into a very interesting discussion of how the common claim that men's ideals of beauty are determined by the media is, in fact, false as I often dislike people presented within that mainstream concept, but someone would probably just come back and say that I'm consciously or unconsciously rebelling against that idea and claim it still has validity. They would be wrong.
In short, alt is for guys who think that Allyson Hannigan (or Jewel Staite or Felicia Day or maybe even women with nothing to do with Joss Whedon) is far more attractive than whatever fake-titted bimbo is in Playboy this month and who feel that she looked worse when heavily made-up into that idiom in that FHM (or whatever) shoot she did a while back.
I'm not really into the tattoos or piercings as I tend to find both rather unseemly, but I find the women to be far more attractive. The artifical-looking women that make up much of porn and that are often presented as being "hot" do nothing for me. I find them viciously unattractive.
I find women I see on the street generally much, much more attractive than, say, Pamela Anderson (disgusting), Angelina Jolie (visually offensive, her mouth disturbs me intensely), or Halle Berry (puke-o-tronic).
So it has nothing to do with interests, it's entirely an issue of aesthetics and a dislike for the portrayal of what is considered "attractive" that is prevalent in much of the mainstream.
I could, perhaps, extend this into a very interesting discussion of how the common claim that men's ideals of beauty are determined by the media is, in fact, false as I often dislike people presented within that mainstream concept, but someone would probably just come back and say that I'm consciously or unconsciously rebelling against that idea and claim it still has validity. They would be wrong.
In short, alt is for guys who think that Allyson Hannigan (or Jewel Staite or Felicia Day or maybe even women with nothing to do with Joss Whedon) is far more attractive than whatever fake-titted bimbo is in Playboy this month and who feel that she looked worse when heavily made-up into that idiom in that FHM (or whatever) shoot she did a while back.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
For me, I think it is a "chicken or the egg" sort of thing. The reason those women are considered the most beautiful, are the same reasons you probably find girl-on-the-street beautiful, or Allyson Hannigan. She's symmetrical, she appears fertile, and healthy enough to carry your offspring to term.
Playboy types look like cartoon versions of fertile women. Heaving breasts, youthful facial features, nipped waists. Probably the same aesthetics that factor into your physical attraction for any woman, except multiplied by twenty. They're beautiful, but almost a parody of beauty.
Considering them viciously unattractive seems a bit much, though. These women are, in so many ways, 'designed' for you to find attractive. Good for you though, as a lady it is nice to know that men don't really buy into the 'perfect' gag always.
For me, I think it is a "chicken or the egg" sort of thing. The reason those women are considered the most beautiful, are the same reasons you probably find girl-on-the-street beautiful, or Allyson Hannigan. She's symmetrical, she appears fertile, and healthy enough to carry your offspring to term.
Playboy types look like cartoon versions of fertile women. Heaving breasts, youthful facial features, nipped waists. Probably the same aesthetics that factor into your physical attraction for any woman, except multiplied by twenty. They're beautiful, but almost a parody of beauty.
Considering them viciously unattractive seems a bit much, though. These women are, in so many ways, 'designed' for you to find attractive. Good for you though, as a lady it is nice to know that men don't really buy into the 'perfect' gag always.
belgand
+1 -0
Not even a parody. I find them unpleasant to look at. Full stop.
While I understand the viewpoint of there being a biological imperative in our views of what is attractive as someone who is also strongly, strongly opposed to children in any possible way (again, I find it unpleasant to look at babies... they are not cute, they are freaky, disgusting little fat things that I find frightening to look at) I certainly do not want a woman who appears at all fertile.
It's also not just the physical features, but the overuse of makeup, the bleached hair, the unpleasantly large breasts (let's face it people, there is a range of what is desirable and fake breasts are never it) and a lot else about them is just... not good. They have an artificial sheen to them that makes them very unattractive with nothing even remotely beautiful about them. They certainly never look youthful.
At the same time this appears to be a common issue. Hence the large segments of "amateur" and "teen" porn which tend to eschew these aesthetics. Likewise the rise of "alt" porn.
Not even a parody. I find them unpleasant to look at. Full stop.
While I understand the viewpoint of there being a biological imperative in our views of what is attractive as someone who is also strongly, strongly opposed to children in any possible way (again, I find it unpleasant to look at babies... they are not cute, they are freaky, disgusting little fat things that I find frightening to look at) I certainly do not want a woman who appears at all fertile.
It's also not just the physical features, but the overuse of makeup, the bleached hair, the unpleasantly large breasts (let's face it people, there is a range of what is desirable and fake breasts are never it) and a lot else about them is just... not good. They have an artificial sheen to them that makes them very unattractive with nothing even remotely beautiful about them. They certainly never look youthful.
At the same time this appears to be a common issue. Hence the large segments of "amateur" and "teen" porn which tend to eschew these aesthetics. Likewise the rise of "alt" porn.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Well, you are an outlier in that you don't think babies are cute. There is no accounting for taste, I suppose, haha. Amateur pornography doesn't eschew the basic tenants of pornography, and 'teen' based porn enforces them even more stringently. Youthful, healthy women cavorting about sexually--whether they're wearing eyeshadow or not doesn't really factor in for a lot of men.
I guess there is something for everyone, and as with anything, there are some people who don't fit the terms. I do believe, however, that most men (and women) look for a partner who is symmetrical, shows no signs of disease, is fertile, and youthful. That doesn't leave a lot of room for amputee fetishists or those predominately attracted to the elderly, though.
The only explanation I can figure is that we have a natural attraction system in place that prohibits our population from going out-of-control, by encouraging some to be attracted to those who are not capable of healthy breeding.
Obviously we've hit on an interest of mine, haha.
Well, you are an outlier in that you don't think babies are cute. There is no accounting for taste, I suppose, haha. Amateur pornography doesn't eschew the basic tenants of pornography, and 'teen' based porn enforces them even more stringently. Youthful, healthy women cavorting about sexually--whether they're wearing eyeshadow or not doesn't really factor in for a lot of men.
I guess there is something for everyone, and as with anything, there are some people who don't fit the terms. I do believe, however, that most men (and women) look for a partner who is symmetrical, shows no signs of disease, is fertile, and youthful. That doesn't leave a lot of room for amputee fetishists or those predominately attracted to the elderly, though.
The only explanation I can figure is that we have a natural attraction system in place that prohibits our population from going out-of-control, by encouraging some to be attracted to those who are not capable of healthy breeding.
Obviously we've hit on an interest of mine, haha.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Or, easily, this is all bullshit that is roundly disputed-- and people just like what they like.
Or, easily, this is all bullshit that is roundly disputed-- and people just like what they like.
belgand
+1 -0
None of this explains Japanese preferences. That is beyond science to explain. I should know, I am a scientist and I cannot explain much of it.
Then again Japan was a shy, isolated child that was seriously traumatized during it's teen years and subsequently exposed heavily to American culture at the time resulting in a bizarre adaptation.
None of this, however, explains The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife . Clearly tentacle sex is a uniquely unexplainable interest.
None of this explains Japanese preferences. That is beyond science to explain. I should know, I am a scientist and I cannot explain much of it.
Then again Japan was a shy, isolated child that was seriously traumatized during it's teen years and subsequently exposed heavily to American culture at the time resulting in a bizarre adaptation.
None of this, however, explains The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife . Clearly tentacle sex is a uniquely unexplainable interest.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Haha, I could try and rationalize the phallic nature of tentacles, man's relation to the sea as a matronly figure, and all that gobbledygook, or I could go for the obvious answer; Japan is one weird ass kid.
Haha, I could try and rationalize the phallic nature of tentacles, man's relation to the sea as a matronly figure, and all that gobbledygook, or I could go for the obvious answer; Japan is one weird ass kid.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Not a lot of Kraken/Hydra porn to be found in the western world.
Not a lot of Kraken/Hydra porn to be found in the western world.
belgand
+0 -0
It always bothered me at a fundamental level. I mean, these people obviously deal with octopi on a frequent basis... don't they know that they have a nasty, sharp beak? I certainly don't want that near my tender bits.
It always bothered me at a fundamental level. I mean, these people obviously deal with octopi on a frequent basis... don't they know that they have a nasty, sharp beak? I certainly don't want that near my tender bits.
stereo
+0 -0
I think that's why they call it "rape".
I think that's why they call it "rape".
belgand
+0 -0
Most of the images referenced have the lady obviously being pleased by the encounter.
Most of the images referenced have the lady obviously being pleased by the encounter.
octafish
+0 -0
So you want to see porn with these guys?
So you want to see porn with these guys?
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
"Satisfy one pizza delivery boy, and two more will rise to take his place! Hail Hydra!"
I try not to watch any porn featuring an "Immortal Iron Fist".
"Satisfy one pizza delivery boy, and two more will rise to take his place! Hail Hydra!"
I try not to watch any porn featuring an "Immortal Iron Fist".
kamet
+0 -0
Now wait.. wait.. I think we should consider this.
Now wait.. wait.. I think we should consider this.
stereo
+0 -0
All that heat transference... an Iron Fist would be cold. Makes me shrivel a little just thinking about it.
All that heat transference... an Iron Fist would be cold. Makes me shrivel a little just thinking about it.
redphillip
+0 -0
I am reminded of one of my favorite old-school, pre-condom William Higgins' classic porn films, The Pizza Boy: He Delivers. Indeed, satisfy one and there were yet more to rise for satisfaction. Gratefully, none had multiple heads.
I am reminded of one of my favorite old-school, pre-condom William Higgins' classic porn films, The Pizza Boy: He Delivers. Indeed, satisfy one and there were yet more to rise for satisfaction. Gratefully, none had multiple heads.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Here's a lesson I learned in college: never admit, while sitting with a bunch of boys, that you don't know what hentai is. Bad, bad things will happen involving tentacles and robots.
Here's a lesson I learned in college: never admit, while sitting with a bunch of boys, that you don't know what hentai is. Bad, bad things will happen involving tentacles and robots.
tekende
+0 -0
The boys will grow tentacles and rape you with them? Is that what will happen?
The boys will grow tentacles and rape you with them? Is that what will happen?
belgand
+1 -0
My old trivia team would occasionally when we got tired of our better names (Sunday!Sunday!Sunday!, Hot for Lincoln, The Axis of Awesome) try out other names. One that saw occasional use in this capacity was "Bukkake Explosion" (which wasn't anywhere as great as another team's "Anal Herscheisser") which was usually good for the occasional laugh by people familiar with it. The best part was one time when our turn came up and we were announced I heard some voices from the booth behind us muttering for a bit: first a girl's voice, then a guy's, and then "EWWW!!" or something similar. I then knew that I had made a difference.
My old trivia team would occasionally when we got tired of our better names (Sunday!Sunday!Sunday!, Hot for Lincoln, The Axis of Awesome) try out other names. One that saw occasional use in this capacity was "Bukkake Explosion" (which wasn't anywhere as great as another team's "Anal Herscheisser") which was usually good for the occasional laugh by people familiar with it. The best part was one time when our turn came up and we were announced I heard some voices from the booth behind us muttering for a bit: first a girl's voice, then a guy's, and then "EWWW!!" or something similar. I then knew that I had made a difference.
telescreen
+0 -0
I just would like you to know that we support our position on the porn industry's pornography. We support it. Porn is not something that I engage in either.
The comment on Playboy bimbos looking decidedly like parody is so true. These are human beings that look so brittle and plastic, that you must assume that part of their plastic surgeries was to install a K/Y jelly machine hidden inside their ass injections that provides lubricant to their, well.....lets just not go even further than it already has gone.
That being said, any decent looking real life lady puts the porn industry women to shame given their aura of normalcy, non-desperation, and actual joy in physical acts.
I just would like you to know that we support our position on the porn industry's pornography. We support it. Porn is not something that I engage in either.
The comment on Playboy bimbos looking decidedly like parody is so true. These are human beings that look so brittle and plastic, that you must assume that part of their plastic surgeries was to install a K/Y jelly machine hidden inside their ass injections that provides lubricant to their, well.....lets just not go even further than it already has gone.
That being said, any decent looking real life lady puts the porn industry women to shame given their aura of normalcy, non-desperation, and actual joy in physical acts.
meddle
+0 -0
It can be a natural, ZESTY enterprise.
It can be a natural, ZESTY enterprise.
telescreen
+0 -0
Rather than an unnatural, boiled cabbage enterprise?
That was thin, very thin.
too thin really
Rather than an unnatural, boiled cabbage enterprise?
That was thin, very thin.
too thin really
tekende
+0 -0
"Zesty" is a word that becomes gross when used in a sexual context, I now find.
"Zesty" is a word that becomes gross when used in a sexual context, I now find.
belgand
+0 -0
Ah, but what about Japanese porn? The women tend to look far more normal and realistic, but try finding a single video where they're allowed to express anything approaching joy. I swear even the ones that aren't specifically about rape might as well be about rape.
Ah, but what about Japanese porn? The women tend to look far more normal and realistic, but try finding a single video where they're allowed to express anything approaching joy. I swear even the ones that aren't specifically about rape might as well be about rape.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
frownin and droolin, frownin and droolin
frownin and droolin, frownin and droolin
tekende
+0 -0
I saw one where the girl was pretty happy about what was going on. It was animated, and pretty creepy, but still.
I saw one where the girl was pretty happy about what was going on. It was animated, and pretty creepy, but still.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No no, hentai is completely different from live-action Japanese porn. In hentai, the setup is usually that the girl is getting raped, but starts enjoying it in spite of herself, or she has some spell cast on her that makes her a nympho. But in real life, Japanese guys generally consider it a huge turnoff if a girl expresses anything resembling pleasure or excitement.
No no, hentai is completely different from live-action Japanese porn. In hentai, the setup is usually that the girl is getting raped, but starts enjoying it in spite of herself, or she has some spell cast on her that makes her a nympho. But in real life, Japanese guys generally consider it a huge turnoff if a girl expresses anything resembling pleasure or excitement.
stereo
+1 -0
Japanese lesbian scenes are even worse, because then neither one is having fun. It's the kind of porn to make you slit your wrists on a bright Sunday morning.
Japanese lesbian scenes are even worse, because then neither one is having fun. It's the kind of porn to make you slit your wrists on a bright Sunday morning.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah. But at least it's not "I'm being forcibly probed by aliens and I do not like it, but I will submit" like a lot of male-female porn is. Lesbian scenes just tend to be sort of cold and lifeless. It also seems to account for a much, much smaller portion of the market.
The harem sub-genre of anime/hentai makes even less sense to me in the Japanese manner. A group of attractive ladies want to make the sexy (and cry while doing it) with a guy who is either completely oblivious or just actively disinterested in the whole concept.
Humiliation also seems to be pretty big in Japan. I mean, they have some negative attitudes towards women at a social level, but when it comes to porn it just becomes really awful in that respect. At the same time it seems, based on no hard evidence, that European porn tends to have more positive or dominant roles for women than in American porn. Fewer horny sluts more "women who want to explore their sexuality" which in a way that could be considered empowering if you really wanted to say that sort of thing. There certainly don't seem to be as many "young girls having sex for money" sleaze-fests either, but perhaps that depends. Eastern Europe certainly seems to enjoy trading in the whole naive and exploited concept more.
Yeah. But at least it's not "I'm being forcibly probed by aliens and I do not like it, but I will submit" like a lot of male-female porn is. Lesbian scenes just tend to be sort of cold and lifeless. It also seems to account for a much, much smaller portion of the market.
The harem sub-genre of anime/hentai makes even less sense to me in the Japanese manner. A group of attractive ladies want to make the sexy (and cry while doing it) with a guy who is either completely oblivious or just actively disinterested in the whole concept.
Humiliation also seems to be pretty big in Japan. I mean, they have some negative attitudes towards women at a social level, but when it comes to porn it just becomes really awful in that respect. At the same time it seems, based on no hard evidence, that European porn tends to have more positive or dominant roles for women than in American porn. Fewer horny sluts more "women who want to explore their sexuality" which in a way that could be considered empowering if you really wanted to say that sort of thing. There certainly don't seem to be as many "young girls having sex for money" sleaze-fests either, but perhaps that depends. Eastern Europe certainly seems to enjoy trading in the whole naive and exploited concept more.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Holy crap, you're even more knowledgeable on this topic than I am.
Holy crap, you're even more knowledgeable on this topic than I am.
belgand
+0 -0
Not especially. This is all just off the top of my head. Still, I think some interesting ideas can be derived from the treatment of women in pornography and the culture that created it. I'm sure there are a number of academic papers on this. I worry that there aren't any that are actually reasonable and not shrill and excessive.
It's not hard to say "Dude, Japan, when almost all of your porn involves women being humiliated, abused, or just in general acting like it's a terrible ordeal then perhaps you have some problems with how you think of ladies."
Or "Europe, you made a film where a classy-looking lady wearing what looks like expensive and tasteful lingerie decided that she wanted to try having different kinds of sex with a lots of different kinds of people. Everyone appeared to have a great time. Looks like you think it's cool that ladies can enjoy sex and still be classy even if they want to engage in gangbangs and all-girl orgies and such because maybe that's just something they'd like to do."
Not especially. This is all just off the top of my head. Still, I think some interesting ideas can be derived from the treatment of women in pornography and the culture that created it. I'm sure there are a number of academic papers on this. I worry that there aren't any that are actually reasonable and not shrill and excessive.
It's not hard to say "Dude, Japan, when almost all of your porn involves women being humiliated, abused, or just in general acting like it's a terrible ordeal then perhaps you have some problems with how you think of ladies."
Or "Europe, you made a film where a classy-looking lady wearing what looks like expensive and tasteful lingerie decided that she wanted to try having different kinds of sex with a lots of different kinds of people. Everyone appeared to have a great time. Looks like you think it's cool that ladies can enjoy sex and still be classy even if they want to engage in gangbangs and all-girl orgies and such because maybe that's just something they'd like to do."
sje46
+0 -0
This is all pretty interesting and all, but I'm still confused by one thing:
What exactly is a pornography?
This is all pretty interesting and all, but I'm still confused by one thing:
What exactly is a pornography?
wozzeck
+0 -0
Prostitution with better PR, pretty much.
Prostitution with better PR, pretty much.
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
It's a Cure album, released in 1982. It's silly to like it.
It's a Cure album, released in 1982. It's silly to like it.
wozzeck
+0 -0
What it looks like is even Europe's finest women lack even a minim of virtue.
What it looks like is even Europe's finest women lack even a minim of virtue.
belgand
+0 -0
Virtue? Who wants that? What is the point? Having mad sexiness with plenty of people and thinking that that is just a dandy thing to do is the ultimate virtue.
Virtue? Who wants that? What is the point? Having mad sexiness with plenty of people and thinking that that is just a dandy thing to do is the ultimate virtue.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, it's interesting. The weird thing is that, from a cross-cultural comparison of pornography, you would think that relative to the US or Europe, Japan was a third-world country where all the women were basically slaves or something. And of course it does have a lot of problems with rape, prostitution, and income disparity, but for the most part, it seems to be on par with other first-world countries. How would you explain that?
Yea, it's interesting. The weird thing is that, from a cross-cultural comparison of pornography, you would think that relative to the US or Europe, Japan was a third-world country where all the women were basically slaves or something. And of course it does have a lot of problems with rape, prostitution, and income disparity, but for the most part, it seems to be on par with other first-world countries. How would you explain that?
belgand
+0 -0
While on this subject I think it's relevant that Max Hardcore was sentenced to four years in prison due to "obscenity". This is crazy. Even if you do not like his films (and I do not want to watch them, no) it's quite crazy to put a man in prison for making movies with consenting peoples even if you find them abhorrent (I can see how some would feel that way, I frankly don't care what people want to do to get off as long as it's all consensual). I mean, that we even have laws against being obscene is the only thing I can find to be obscene.
While on this subject I think it's relevant that Max Hardcore was sentenced to four years in prison due to "obscenity". This is crazy. Even if you do not like his films (and I do not want to watch them, no) it's quite crazy to put a man in prison for making movies with consenting peoples even if you find them abhorrent (I can see how some would feel that way, I frankly don't care what people want to do to get off as long as it's all consensual). I mean, that we even have laws against being obscene is the only thing I can find to be obscene.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
VAGUELY ACCEPTABLE RACISM ALERT
VAGUELY ACCEPTABLE RACISM ALERT
belgand
+0 -0
It's racist to state that maybe a society has some issues with sexism?
It's racist to state that maybe a society has some issues with sexism?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is it racism to make any kind of statement about an entire society?
(Hint: Yes.)
Is it racism to make any kind of statement about an entire society?
(Hint: Yes.)
sje46
+0 -0
I don't think you know what that word means.
Racism is the belief that some RACES (not cultures) are inherently inferior to others.)
I don't think you know what that word means.
Racism is the belief that some RACES (not cultures) are inherently inferior to others.)
belgand
+0 -0
Indeed. I have nothing against Japan or Japanese people. I just think that they may have a culture that has problems with sexism that it would be nice to change.
If you look at my earlier statements I've also basically stated that America has some issues with sexism as identified through porn (not to mention crass commercialism) as well and I'm an American. I don't think I'm racist about myself.
But yeah, I like Japanese people. I like them enough that I think it would be awesome to make the sexy with a Japanese lady and have her enjoy it quite a lot in an obvious fashion.
Indeed. I have nothing against Japan or Japanese people. I just think that they may have a culture that has problems with sexism that it would be nice to change.
If you look at my earlier statements I've also basically stated that America has some issues with sexism as identified through porn (not to mention crass commercialism) as well and I'm an American. I don't think I'm racist about myself.
But yeah, I like Japanese people. I like them enough that I think it would be awesome to make the sexy with a Japanese lady and have her enjoy it quite a lot in an obvious fashion.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
go back to work to that bottle spiral, Beaker.
go back to work to that bottle spiral, Beaker.
wozzeck
+0 -0
The population control arguments concerning abnormal/unusual sexual desires does not stand to reason. Population control via reduced births is an ultimately fatal maladaption to the species, permitting it to be out-bred by its competitors.
The population control arguments concerning abnormal/unusual sexual desires does not stand to reason. Population control via reduced births is an ultimately fatal maladaption to the species, permitting it to be out-bred by its competitors.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
From what I've read, introducing sterile males into a population/sterilizing pre-existing males in a population works well to limit the population from growing, without destroying the species.
I believe they do it with deer, and definitely it is applied to insects. Of course, that is different than some 'natural kick-in' that causes some to have abormal sexual desires that cannot result in fertility.
Another thing that factors greatly into disproving what I said in my post, is the fact that we are quite clearly a very different animal than any other species. After all, we HAVE sexual deviance, homosexuality, sex for pleasure's sake, and birth control. All things that do not directly relate to the creation of a child.
So, what works for the goose, doesn't work for man.
From what I've read, introducing sterile males into a population/sterilizing pre-existing males in a population works well to limit the population from growing, without destroying the species.
I believe they do it with deer, and definitely it is applied to insects. Of course, that is different than some 'natural kick-in' that causes some to have abormal sexual desires that cannot result in fertility.
Another thing that factors greatly into disproving what I said in my post, is the fact that we are quite clearly a very different animal than any other species. After all, we HAVE sexual deviance, homosexuality, sex for pleasure's sake, and birth control. All things that do not directly relate to the creation of a child.
So, what works for the goose, doesn't work for man.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I should have clarified that I was speaking strictly of evolved, innate means population control.
And there are other species which have sex for pleasure, as well as homosexual relations. The bonobo chimpanzees are notorious for it.
I should have clarified that I was speaking strictly of evolved, innate means population control.
And there are other species which have sex for pleasure, as well as homosexual relations. The bonobo chimpanzees are notorious for it.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Ah, those damnable chimps, I always forget about them! Well, really, I think the fact of the matter is man (and hell, let's just throw the entire chimpanzee gang in here) is so much more evolved than the average...wolverine, who is strictly in it to propagate their species. It only stands to reason our sexuality is evolved and much more nuanced, as well. Which is pretty much not at all what I said at first.
itt autrepoupee is revealed to be a flip-flopper
Ah, those damnable chimps, I always forget about them! Well, really, I think the fact of the matter is man (and hell, let's just throw the entire chimpanzee gang in here) is so much more evolved than the average...wolverine, who is strictly in it to propagate their species. It only stands to reason our sexuality is evolved and much more nuanced, as well. Which is pretty much not at all what I said at first.
itt autrepoupee is revealed to be a flip-flopper
pogo
+0 -0
In order to raise human young, who are born before their brains are fully developed so the can fit through the birth canal, a woman needs support, so she remains in estrus permanently so her man is attracted and brings home the bacon. Deal with it.
In order to raise human young, who are born before their brains are fully developed so the can fit through the birth canal, a woman needs support, so she remains in estrus permanently so her man is attracted and brings home the bacon. Deal with it.
tekende
+0 -0
Really? So pregnancy does have its benefits then...
Really? So pregnancy does have its benefits then...
belgand
+0 -0
No, I like the current method where my girlfriend works and I sleep late, stay home, and talk with you knuckleheads here. Hey I'm currently doing (my own) laundry! Oh and I cook. But then again, I enjoy doing that.
No, I like the current method where my girlfriend works and I sleep late, stay home, and talk with you knuckleheads here. Hey I'm currently doing (my own) laundry! Oh and I cook. But then again, I enjoy doing that.
redphillip
+0 -0
The is the hypothesis that the famed '7 year itch' exists so that by the time offspring are either a) reasonably independent or b) dead, men start itching after novelty and thus stir the genetic soup. We're born to be pigs, horndogs. Deal with it.
The is the hypothesis that the famed '7 year itch' exists so that by the time offspring are either a) reasonably independent or b) dead, men start itching after novelty and thus stir the genetic soup. We're born to be pigs, horndogs. Deal with it.
belgand
+0 -0
I disagree. Both "amateur" and "teen" porn tends to be based on both an artificial fantasy, but also an aesthetic choice which is made, among other reasons, to reinforce the chosen concept even though everyone involved knows that it is most definitely false. Both tend to go with more of a "girl-next-door" look in order to maintain this farce. "Teen" porn does, I'll admit, also tend to skew for a younger look, but it still maintains the same aesthetic concepts otherwise. Heavily made-up, fake breasts, and five-inch platform heels don't really factor into it.
I would contend that there is a significant portion of viewers interested in this for the aesthetic choices as much as the ones based on scenario.
Also, babies are disturbing parasites that grow inside of you while draining your nutrients. Obviously I'm a big fan of David Cronenberg.
I disagree. Both "amateur" and "teen" porn tends to be based on both an artificial fantasy, but also an aesthetic choice which is made, among other reasons, to reinforce the chosen concept even though everyone involved knows that it is most definitely false. Both tend to go with more of a "girl-next-door" look in order to maintain this farce. "Teen" porn does, I'll admit, also tend to skew for a younger look, but it still maintains the same aesthetic concepts otherwise. Heavily made-up, fake breasts, and five-inch platform heels don't really factor into it.
I would contend that there is a significant portion of viewers interested in this for the aesthetic choices as much as the ones based on scenario.
Also, babies are disturbing parasites that grow inside of you while draining your nutrients. Obviously I'm a big fan of David Cronenberg.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Dude, YES. I cannot understand how anyone finds babies cute. Kittens, yes. Puppies, yes. Baby ducks, yes. But human babies look like someone glued a pair of bulging eyeballs onto a lump of pudgy fat. Thank you for showing I am not the only one who feels this way.
I was also going to respond to autrepoupee in this comment, but then I realized I'd be talking about babies and porn in the same post.
Dude, YES. I cannot understand how anyone finds babies cute. Kittens, yes. Puppies, yes. Baby ducks, yes. But human babies look like someone glued a pair of bulging eyeballs onto a lump of pudgy fat. Thank you for showing I am not the only one who feels this way.
I was also going to respond to autrepoupee in this comment, but then I realized I'd be talking about babies and porn in the same post.
belgand
+0 -0
You are entirely correct. Baby animals are much, much cuter than human babies. Human babies look entirely like a glob of fat that cannot care for itself.
It is indeed adorable when a baby deer or elephant cannot stand up right away, but it can stand up and walk within like, a day or two, not years. This is a major point in favor of animals.
I have discussed with my girlfriend whether it would be a good or bad thing to give birth to such as a puppy maybe. Like this was a thing that just happened to people sometimes if they wanted to perhaps. I believe that this has decreased my chances of ever having sex with any ladies at any point in the future forever now. I still think it's a valid question fraught with interesting ideas. I mean, if you'd really like to have a puppy, but not a baby it might be a good idea. Plus, I doubt your landlord could tell you that you can't have a puppy then. Not when you give birth to it. It might make the relationship with the puppy kinda weird though.
You are entirely correct. Baby animals are much, much cuter than human babies. Human babies look entirely like a glob of fat that cannot care for itself.
It is indeed adorable when a baby deer or elephant cannot stand up right away, but it can stand up and walk within like, a day or two, not years. This is a major point in favor of animals.
I have discussed with my girlfriend whether it would be a good or bad thing to give birth to such as a puppy maybe. Like this was a thing that just happened to people sometimes if they wanted to perhaps. I believe that this has decreased my chances of ever having sex with any ladies at any point in the future forever now. I still think it's a valid question fraught with interesting ideas. I mean, if you'd really like to have a puppy, but not a baby it might be a good idea. Plus, I doubt your landlord could tell you that you can't have a puppy then. Not when you give birth to it. It might make the relationship with the puppy kinda weird though.
speccer
+0 -0
I am generally averse to people significantly younger than me. As babies they're ugly and you can't communicate with them. As kids, and hell, through the early teen years, they're able to talk but can't make any damn sense of the world. I mean, they're just kids so they don't know better, but god damn are they stupid.
Also, yes, baby animals are cute.
I am generally averse to people significantly younger than me. As babies they're ugly and you can't communicate with them. As kids, and hell, through the early teen years, they're able to talk but can't make any damn sense of the world. I mean, they're just kids so they don't know better, but god damn are they stupid.
Also, yes, baby animals are cute.
belgand
+0 -1
Hell, I'm often averse to people the same age as me. Even during high school I couldn't get over how amazingly dumb my peers were.
I was very happy when I found actual statistics showing that there are indeed more dogs than children in San Francisco. That is the correct way to be. Dogs are awesome.
Hell, I'm often averse to people the same age as me. Even during high school I couldn't get over how amazingly dumb my peers were.
I was very happy when I found actual statistics showing that there are indeed more dogs than children in San Francisco. That is the correct way to be. Dogs are awesome.
stereo
+0 -0
Quote:
I think that happened for me when I said, "Abortion should be legal up to the age of 3, babies suck."
Quote:
I believe that this has decreased my chances of ever having sex with any ladies at any point in the future forever now.
I think that happened for me when I said, "Abortion should be legal up to the age of 3, babies suck."
belgand
+0 -0
I need to set up one of those "Safe surrender" boxes that actually is just a chute into the furnace. We both know that's where we're eventually going to go with them. We will keep the mutual lie up for appearances even though we know it's what we both want.
I need to set up one of those "Safe surrender" boxes that actually is just a chute into the furnace. We both know that's where we're eventually going to go with them. We will keep the mutual lie up for appearances even though we know it's what we both want.
pogo
+1 -0
Aslo for you: Baby animals actually share many of the soft, round, bug eyed things that we are supposedly programmed to go "Awwwww!" for and take care of our pesky, helpless young. You, sir, are obviously not properly programmed, so stay away from babies, please.
Aslo for you: Baby animals actually share many of the soft, round, bug eyed things that we are supposedly programmed to go "Awwwww!" for and take care of our pesky, helpless young. You, sir, are obviously not properly programmed, so stay away from babies, please.
belgand
+0 -0
No, baby animals are often fluffier. They are also often curious in a non-threatening way, but still smart enough not to put things in their mouths that don't belong there. The adult animals are usually also very cute. Their small size and playfulness makes them extra-adorable many times.
In contrast human babies look nothing like an attractive, adorable adult should are amazingly dumb, and tend to cry a hell of a lot and look at you with their big, dumb, vacant eyes like an imbecile. It's like dealing with someone who is attempting to go through life fat, drunk, and stupid.
No, baby animals are often fluffier. They are also often curious in a non-threatening way, but still smart enough not to put things in their mouths that don't belong there. The adult animals are usually also very cute. Their small size and playfulness makes them extra-adorable many times.
In contrast human babies look nothing like an attractive, adorable adult should are amazingly dumb, and tend to cry a hell of a lot and look at you with their big, dumb, vacant eyes like an imbecile. It's like dealing with someone who is attempting to go through life fat, drunk, and stupid.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Well, some people just aren't meant to produce children. Just don't be like one of those self-righteous child-free types and roll with the fact that a lot of people find babies both adorable and necessary.
Well, some people just aren't meant to produce children. Just don't be like one of those self-righteous child-free types and roll with the fact that a lot of people find babies both adorable and necessary.
belgand
+0 -0
No, I definitely identify as child-free. People who find babies adorable are sick deviants and want nothing to do with them. I am lucky that this is not a problem because, as I've stated, where I live babies are not an issue for most people except yuppies whom everyone else hates for their annoying ways with their children. It solves the problem neatly.
I'm not at all self-righteous, but let's also agree that your baby is not a special magical miracle. It is one of the simplest things that you can do. It does not mean that you are suddenly more important than anyone else. Children are a vast minority that are actually less important than adults.
In short, don't be a dick anyone.
No, I definitely identify as child-free. People who find babies adorable are sick deviants and want nothing to do with them. I am lucky that this is not a problem because, as I've stated, where I live babies are not an issue for most people except yuppies whom everyone else hates for their annoying ways with their children. It solves the problem neatly.
I'm not at all self-righteous, but let's also agree that your baby is not a special magical miracle. It is one of the simplest things that you can do. It does not mean that you are suddenly more important than anyone else. Children are a vast minority that are actually less important than adults.
In short, don't be a dick anyone.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Babies, and children, insure that our species continues. They are more important than the elderly, but not necessarily more important than those of the age that is capable of breeding.
If you don't like babies, fine. Why do child-free types make it their issue? No one presses children on you, it's easy enough to avoid interacting with them.
Babies, and children, insure that our species continues. They are more important than the elderly, but not necessarily more important than those of the age that is capable of breeding.
If you don't like babies, fine. Why do child-free types make it their issue? No one presses children on you, it's easy enough to avoid interacting with them.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
and while you didn't really make this an issue (i think I brought up children), the other Child-Free people I've interacted with are really quite terrible. They sell kitschy, dusty Hello Kitty shit on Livejournal in order to raise money for some ridiculous operation their cat needs.
and while you didn't really make this an issue (i think I brought up children), the other Child-Free people I've interacted with are really quite terrible. They sell kitschy, dusty Hello Kitty shit on Livejournal in order to raise money for some ridiculous operation their cat needs.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
but this is stupid you dont need to speak for child-free people all over the world or anything
just don't be a dick to babies, and I won't insist you watch after my kids.
IT'S A DRAW
but this is stupid you dont need to speak for child-free people all over the world or anything
just don't be a dick to babies, and I won't insist you watch after my kids.
IT'S A DRAW
belgand
+0 -0
But what about having wild sexings on the television? Or the rudest of curses? People complain about these things for themselves, but also the children. No more hiding behind children in any area. Plus those damn Amber Alerts. Why don't kidnapped adults get the same treatment? We should.
But what about having wild sexings on the television? Or the rudest of curses? People complain about these things for themselves, but also the children. No more hiding behind children in any area. Plus those damn Amber Alerts. Why don't kidnapped adults get the same treatment? We should.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Why don't kidnapped men get the same treatment as kidnapped women? Why don't kidnapped black people get the same treatment as kidnapped white people? Life is unfair.
As for television, I really don't think the fact that someone doesn't get to see hardcore dicking and maximum cusses on network tv is much of an important issue.
Why don't kidnapped men get the same treatment as kidnapped women? Why don't kidnapped black people get the same treatment as kidnapped white people? Life is unfair.
As for television, I really don't think the fact that someone doesn't get to see hardcore dicking and maximum cusses on network tv is much of an important issue.
belgand
+0 -0
Y'see, that's the problem. That is an important issue. A big reason why pressure is exerted to keep network TV impossibly bland and largely inoffensive is because of groups doing it under claims of children. We are one of the most prudish cultures with our media. This is not something that is aimed primarily at children, but at adults who make up the majority of society. We should not have to cater to children, or rather, the whims of scared parents. It's not just hardcore dicking, it's about a fundamental lack of censorship and an adult approach to our mass media.
Y'see, that's the problem. That is an important issue. A big reason why pressure is exerted to keep network TV impossibly bland and largely inoffensive is because of groups doing it under claims of children. We are one of the most prudish cultures with our media. This is not something that is aimed primarily at children, but at adults who make up the majority of society. We should not have to cater to children, or rather, the whims of scared parents. It's not just hardcore dicking, it's about a fundamental lack of censorship and an adult approach to our mass media.
belgand
+0 -0
That is really amazingly overly specific.
That is really amazingly overly specific.
belgand
+0 -0
Why is the species continuing so important to you? It is really kind of a pointless concept when you think about it. It doesn't affect you at all. It just seems very egotistical at a basic level if you think about it super-duper hard.
Children become an issue because of how many things are done in their names. We continue to child-proof our entire society because people worry about their kids all the damn time. This is the wrong way to do things. This is an inbalanced system where adults suffer at the expense of a much smaller percentage of children who probably wouldn't care or be affected anyways.
Why is the species continuing so important to you? It is really kind of a pointless concept when you think about it. It doesn't affect you at all. It just seems very egotistical at a basic level if you think about it super-duper hard.
Children become an issue because of how many things are done in their names. We continue to child-proof our entire society because people worry about their kids all the damn time. This is the wrong way to do things. This is an inbalanced system where adults suffer at the expense of a much smaller percentage of children who probably wouldn't care or be affected anyways.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
This is simple. The species continuing is important to me, because I am a human. The same reason deer keep breeding, because they want to exist. I don't need to think of it super hard; it's a biological imperative.
Adults suffer? I didn't ever notice the roving bands of adults dying on the streets because of the tyranny of babies.
This is simple. The species continuing is important to me, because I am a human. The same reason deer keep breeding, because they want to exist. I don't need to think of it super hard; it's a biological imperative.
Adults suffer? I didn't ever notice the roving bands of adults dying on the streets because of the tyranny of babies.
belgand
+0 -0
But, while you say it's important, you cannot define why it should be so. The continued existence of humanity is really quite pointless. It's a combination of biology and ego that convinces you though.
But, while you say it's important, you cannot define why it should be so. The continued existence of humanity is really quite pointless. It's a combination of biology and ego that convinces you though.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think you guys are trying too hard to turn this into an argument. But as a point of interest, the fact that you have to make an case for it as a biological imperative shows that said imperative doesn't completely hold sway. That is, something can no longer qualify as a biological imperative if we are capable of both the volition and the means to ignore it.
There is also the skeptic argument: since you have no way of knowing what will happen after you die, why care? For all you know, the world could be destroyed a week later, and the human race along with it. Or your kid could start working at the Cheetah Room.
I used to identify as child-free; lately I have been thinking there might be some aspects of having a child that I would enjoy, such as making it learn a bunch of languages and teaching it philosophy from an early age. But then again, this would mean it would end up smarter and more cultured than me, and I might resent it. In any case, I'm still not sure it'd be enough to outweigh the whole baby thing and the accompanying change in lifestyle.
I think you guys are trying too hard to turn this into an argument. But as a point of interest, the fact that you have to make an case for it as a biological imperative shows that said imperative doesn't completely hold sway. That is, something can no longer qualify as a biological imperative if we are capable of both the volition and the means to ignore it.
There is also the skeptic argument: since you have no way of knowing what will happen after you die, why care? For all you know, the world could be destroyed a week later, and the human race along with it. Or your kid could start working at the Cheetah Room.
I used to identify as child-free; lately I have been thinking there might be some aspects of having a child that I would enjoy, such as making it learn a bunch of languages and teaching it philosophy from an early age. But then again, this would mean it would end up smarter and more cultured than me, and I might resent it. In any case, I'm still not sure it'd be enough to outweigh the whole baby thing and the accompanying change in lifestyle.
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm pretty much exactly with you on all points.
I'd like to try raising a child to be smart and well-adjusted without hypocrisy from me as a parent (if you did when you were their age and it didn't have negative consequences you're kind of a jerk to forbid them from doing it and if it was a problem then you should just be honest with them about why it's a really bad idea). At the same time I both don't want a child, don't want the expense of a child, and fear that the child might just plain be an idiot that I absolutely hate (kinda like Little Nephew) regardless of what I do.
Yeah, I'm pretty much exactly with you on all points.
I'd like to try raising a child to be smart and well-adjusted without hypocrisy from me as a parent (if you did when you were their age and it didn't have negative consequences you're kind of a jerk to forbid them from doing it and if it was a problem then you should just be honest with them about why it's a really bad idea). At the same time I both don't want a child, don't want the expense of a child, and fear that the child might just plain be an idiot that I absolutely hate (kinda like Little Nephew) regardless of what I do.
speccer
+1 -0
From Wikipedia:
Quote:
So, no offense belgand, but you are abnormal in the technical sense of the word here. As am I, as is achilleselbow should he stick to his original thought pattern. We've all got issues, man.
Personally, yeah, I don't see myself in my current mindset having a kid since they take a lot of work to keep alive, they cost a lot of money, they could grow into "an idiot that I absolutely hate", and, shit, what if it turns out they've got some kind of disease? I don't want that, no matter how small the damn chance, not until they get genetic engineering to practically eliminate the chance of that happening, or something like that.
From Wikipedia:
Quote:
Biological imperatives are the needs of living organisms required to perpetuate their existence: to survive. Includes the following hierarchy of logical imperatives for a living organism: survival, territorialism, competition, reproduction, quality of life-seeking. Living organisms that do not follow these imperatives are described as maladaptive; those that do are adaptive. Maladaptivity is perhaps the most fundamental criterion for defining abnormality and mental illness.
So, no offense belgand, but you are abnormal in the technical sense of the word here. As am I, as is achilleselbow should he stick to his original thought pattern. We've all got issues, man.
Personally, yeah, I don't see myself in my current mindset having a kid since they take a lot of work to keep alive, they cost a lot of money, they could grow into "an idiot that I absolutely hate", and, shit, what if it turns out they've got some kind of disease? I don't want that, no matter how small the damn chance, not until they get genetic engineering to practically eliminate the chance of that happening, or something like that.
speccer
+0 -0
The survival instinct is also a biological imperative, yet people still commit suicide, as well as do things that bring them close to death.
I mean, I cannot think of any kind of biological impulse baser than the survival instinct. If, by your definition ("something can no longer qualify as a biological imperative if we are capable of both the volition and means to ignore it"), the survival instinct does not qualify as a biological imperative, then what does?
Addendum: Maybe I'm wrong, but a biological imperative sounds like a psychological thing, so if something as simple as your heart beating counts, then nevermind. Breathing, eating, etc. are all resistable, though (ex. suffocation and hunger strikes). Perhaps thirst and sleep are the only things that qualify? I cannot think of an example where people willfully go without water or sleep until they die from lack of it.
The survival instinct is also a biological imperative, yet people still commit suicide, as well as do things that bring them close to death.
I mean, I cannot think of any kind of biological impulse baser than the survival instinct. If, by your definition ("something can no longer qualify as a biological imperative if we are capable of both the volition and means to ignore it"), the survival instinct does not qualify as a biological imperative, then what does?
Addendum: Maybe I'm wrong, but a biological imperative sounds like a psychological thing, so if something as simple as your heart beating counts, then nevermind. Breathing, eating, etc. are all resistable, though (ex. suffocation and hunger strikes). Perhaps thirst and sleep are the only things that qualify? I cannot think of an example where people willfully go without water or sleep until they die from lack of it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh I take no offense at being called abnormal. But I think there's still a level of difference between the instincts for survival and procreation. If we're just talking about immediate physical needs, then the biological imperative would just be boning, not necessarily reproducing. Of course, it's only through our manipulation of nature that we've been able to separate the two. But the separation is there, and now that reproduction is a completely voluntary and psychological choice rather than the result of a powerful physical urge, it's hard to place it on the same level of biological imperative as basic survival.
Oh I take no offense at being called abnormal. But I think there's still a level of difference between the instincts for survival and procreation. If we're just talking about immediate physical needs, then the biological imperative would just be boning, not necessarily reproducing. Of course, it's only through our manipulation of nature that we've been able to separate the two. But the separation is there, and now that reproduction is a completely voluntary and psychological choice rather than the result of a powerful physical urge, it's hard to place it on the same level of biological imperative as basic survival.
sje46
+0 -0
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
Yes, it's Wikipedia, but it's correct.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
Yes, it's Wikipedia, but it's correct.
speccer
+0 -0
Hey man they are just babies they have no idea what they are doing.
Hey man they are just babies they have no idea what they are doing.
pogo
+1 -0
Baby animals actually share many of the soft, round, bug eyed things that we are supposedly programmed to go "Awwwww!" for and take care of our pesky, helpless young. You, sir, are obviously not properly programmed, so stay away from babies, please.
Baby animals actually share many of the soft, round, bug eyed things that we are supposedly programmed to go "Awwwww!" for and take care of our pesky, helpless young. You, sir, are obviously not properly programmed, so stay away from babies, please.
speccer
+1 -0
You forgot "Aslo for you".
You forgot "Aslo for you".
aperson
+0 -0
I am a baby animal and I hate everybody. All of you I mean. So cash...
I am a baby animal and I hate everybody. All of you I mean. So cash...
achilleselbow
+6 -0
Quote:
It's funny to be a guy saying this to a girl, but for many people sex isn't just about the physical act of fucking, even when it's imaginary. Much of what goes into arousal is psychological, even for us neanderthal guys.
A lot of alt-porn fans say they like it because it's not degrading, the companies are run by women and don't exploit their actresses, and it shows 'real' girls rather than enforcing unrealistic body standards. But those are just the ethical aspects. For me, it is, erm, 'conducive' to see the girls that may for all I know be some girl that lives in my neighborhood and that I would see at the grocery store and be too afraid to talk to, and then she just goes back to her loft and does stuff like this with different guys like every day and she'd probably do it with me if I would have just talked to her but I never will because I have issues and she probably wouldn't anyway because I'm so pathetic and ohmygod it is so painful to watch but also so hot and I can't look away...
...well, you asked.
Quote:
Why do men need to imagine that their sexual object actually has the same interests as them? What does that matter, when it is just something you're imagining fucking, anyway?
It's funny to be a guy saying this to a girl, but for many people sex isn't just about the physical act of fucking, even when it's imaginary. Much of what goes into arousal is psychological, even for us neanderthal guys.
A lot of alt-porn fans say they like it because it's not degrading, the companies are run by women and don't exploit their actresses, and it shows 'real' girls rather than enforcing unrealistic body standards. But those are just the ethical aspects. For me, it is, erm, 'conducive' to see the girls that may for all I know be some girl that lives in my neighborhood and that I would see at the grocery store and be too afraid to talk to, and then she just goes back to her loft and does stuff like this with different guys like every day and she'd probably do it with me if I would have just talked to her but I never will because I have issues and she probably wouldn't anyway because I'm so pathetic and ohmygod it is so painful to watch but also so hot and I can't look away...
...well, you asked.
belgand
+3 -0
So basically you want Pinkerton except from the point of view of the lady and as a porno?
This seems quite reasonable.
So basically you want Pinkerton except from the point of view of the lady and as a porno?
This seems quite reasonable.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Full disclosure: the reason I do not understand you people and your little ways is because the only thing I find attractive are disembodied mouths screaming.
Full disclosure: the reason I do not understand you people and your little ways is because the only thing I find attractive are disembodied mouths screaming.
farqussus
+0 -0
I do not understand you, as you are just a screaming clear area with a wig on and a large middle where the smells come from.
I do not understand you, as you are just a screaming clear area with a wig on and a large middle where the smells come from.
belgand
+0 -0
My one experience at a strip club involved a mixed group of friends (at least two couples, more women than men, and no unattached men) going out to a strip club near the Army base. One of the girls danced to Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train". This is the one of the absolute worst songs for a stripper to ever dance to. Not only is the subject matter completely inappropriate and disturbingly connected to the industry, but the beat is far too slow.
My one experience at a strip club involved a mixed group of friends (at least two couples, more women than men, and no unattached men) going out to a strip club near the Army base. One of the girls danced to Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train". This is the one of the absolute worst songs for a stripper to ever dance to. Not only is the subject matter completely inappropriate and disturbingly connected to the industry, but the beat is far too slow.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I thought Linkin Park -- In The End was bad...
I thought Linkin Park -- In The End was bad...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i really don't see how that could work.
..just...no.
thus, i also retort with 'WHY FIND OUT'.
i really don't see how that could work.
..just...no.
thus, i also retort with 'WHY FIND OUT'.
tekende
+0 -0
I've seen it.
Yeah, it doesn't work.
I've seen it.
Yeah, it doesn't work.
sje46
+1 -0
L-O-L-A Lola.
L-O-L-A Lola.
stereo
+0 -0
Dude Looks Like A Lady!!
Dude Looks Like A Lady!!
kamet
+0 -0
The one that made me laugh so very hard: Stairway to Heaven.
The one that made me laugh so very hard: Stairway to Heaven.
tripleg
+0 -0
my strip club story involves my eighteenth birthday, an aerosmith concert, and a wad of cash stolen from the purse of my best friend's mother. sadly, it was an experience of degredation and not the bacchanalian awesomeness those details imply.
my strip club story involves my eighteenth birthday, an aerosmith concert, and a wad of cash stolen from the purse of my best friend's mother. sadly, it was an experience of degredation and not the bacchanalian awesomeness those details imply.
belgand
+0 -0
Are you sure that's real? It sounds like a movie I may have seen, or at least, dreamed.
I've often had the problem of my dreams manifesting themselves as other people's personal experiences though. If so I apologize, unless it was awesome in which case you owe me royalties for unauthorized use of my intellectual property.
Are you sure that's real? It sounds like a movie I may have seen, or at least, dreamed.
I've often had the problem of my dreams manifesting themselves as other people's personal experiences though. If so I apologize, unless it was awesome in which case you owe me royalties for unauthorized use of my intellectual property.
hamscout
+0 -0
It sounds like an episode of That 70s Show .
It sounds like an episode of That 70s Show .
tripleg
+0 -0
if That 70's Show was directed by larry charles
if That 70's Show was directed by larry charles
belgand
+0 -0
If That 70's Show was on HBO I would have to demand that we see Donna's goods at least every other episode with some full-on action at least once a season.
The show was already crap, but when she went blonde that is when I knew that it was not worth watching for even a moment longer.
If That 70's Show was on HBO I would have to demand that we see Donna's goods at least every other episode with some full-on action at least once a season.
The show was already crap, but when she went blonde that is when I knew that it was not worth watching for even a moment longer.
tripleg
+0 -0
that it took you that long is charming
that it took you that long is charming
belgand
+0 -0
Well, it, of course, started sucking as soon as they graduated. The thing is, Donna is fucking hot like a glob of plasma. It took for her to change into a cheap, trampy, uninteresting-looking bottle-blond before I could manage to pull myself away from what I knew had become a terrible show. That and I watched them all in re-run so it was only maybe one extra month of watching or so.
Well, it, of course, started sucking as soon as they graduated. The thing is, Donna is fucking hot like a glob of plasma. It took for her to change into a cheap, trampy, uninteresting-looking bottle-blond before I could manage to pull myself away from what I knew had become a terrible show. That and I watched them all in re-run so it was only maybe one extra month of watching or so.
farqussus
+0 -0
She is MAGMA
She is MAGMA
sje46
+0 -0
Why does everyone love that show so much? It always seemed more of a satire of other sitcoms than a serious attempt at comedy.
Remember when they changed the actress for Eric's sister and no one noticed?
Why does everyone love that show so much? It always seemed more of a satire of other sitcoms than a serious attempt at comedy.
Remember when they changed the actress for Eric's sister and no one noticed?
belgand
+0 -0
No, we noticed, but she's a slut so nobody cared. She was also written out about two episodes later. That was really just a fill-in while they resolved her involvement and got rid of her.
No, we noticed, but she's a slut so nobody cared. She was also written out about two episodes later. That was really just a fill-in while they resolved her involvement and got rid of her.
belgand
+0 -0
I wouldn't say I loved it, but I got hooked on it when it was in re-runs and found it very amusing. The fact that Donna was a stone-cold fox was definitely a reason to keep watching it obsessively. I'd probably watch American Idol if she took her top off in every episode (not true, I'd just find them on the Internet or TiVo it and then skip to the only tolerable bit).
I wouldn't say I loved it, but I got hooked on it when it was in re-runs and found it very amusing. The fact that Donna was a stone-cold fox was definitely a reason to keep watching it obsessively. I'd probably watch American Idol if she took her top off in every episode (not true, I'd just find them on the Internet or TiVo it and then skip to the only tolerable bit).
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Strippers actually dance to a number of songs you might find surprising. Usually, the slinky, writhing-on-the-floor numbers are weird.
For instance, you know that Pearl Jam song that goes like, " she's an empty canvas under shEEts of clay " or something like that? A stripper mainstay, for the more seductive approach.
The grinding on the pole songs are pretty much obvious, and a lot of it depends on what the club's main clientele is. Urban areas get a lot more hip-hop, rural areas get a lot more classic rock.
Strippers actually dance to a number of songs you might find surprising. Usually, the slinky, writhing-on-the-floor numbers are weird.
For instance, you know that Pearl Jam song that goes like, " she's an empty canvas under shEEts of clay " or something like that? A stripper mainstay, for the more seductive approach.
The grinding on the pole songs are pretty much obvious, and a lot of it depends on what the club's main clientele is. Urban areas get a lot more hip-hop, rural areas get a lot more classic rock.
snidedk
+0 -0
why do you know so much about stripping?
why do you know so much about stripping?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
had a bouncer and a DJ in my family.
had a bouncer and a DJ in my family.
snidedk
+0 -0
also, the name of that song is "Black" and it's a total angsty breakup song. I guess that's appropriate for a strip club?
also, the name of that song is "Black" and it's a total angsty breakup song. I guess that's appropriate for a strip club?
belgand
+0 -0
When you're dealing with a young, wan girl who looks only a few steps removed from an American Apparel ad "Runaway Train" is not the best choice of songs. Also, it just has the wrong rhythm. Ignoring the lyrical content it just plain didn't work for the dancing.
I will never, ever understand stripping to hip-hop or, for that matter, anything about hip-hop that could in any way, shape, or form be expressed as something that is pleasurable or connected to something pleasurable.
Since my girlfriend started taking stripping classes I've found that my music collection is woefully inadequate in regards to songs that are appropriate to strip to. She has basically no knowledge of music and owns no CDs so I kinda have to help out with that part. Basically I've been falling back on a lot of Nine Inch Nails and AC/DC. AC/DC are excellent for stripping as it is the primary conceit of most of their songs to begin with. "Hell's Bells", in particular, is, in my opinion, an excellent song to strip to: good steady beat, slow opening to build interest that picks up at just about the right time and otherwise enjoyable to listen to.
When you're dealing with a young, wan girl who looks only a few steps removed from an American Apparel ad "Runaway Train" is not the best choice of songs. Also, it just has the wrong rhythm. Ignoring the lyrical content it just plain didn't work for the dancing.
I will never, ever understand stripping to hip-hop or, for that matter, anything about hip-hop that could in any way, shape, or form be expressed as something that is pleasurable or connected to something pleasurable.
Since my girlfriend started taking stripping classes I've found that my music collection is woefully inadequate in regards to songs that are appropriate to strip to. She has basically no knowledge of music and owns no CDs so I kinda have to help out with that part. Basically I've been falling back on a lot of Nine Inch Nails and AC/DC. AC/DC are excellent for stripping as it is the primary conceit of most of their songs to begin with. "Hell's Bells", in particular, is, in my opinion, an excellent song to strip to: good steady beat, slow opening to build interest that picks up at just about the right time and otherwise enjoyable to listen to.
wozzeck
+0 -0
NIN was a favorite of my beloved paracoita, for when she performed. Rammstien's "Du Hast", is probably the song I heard most often in the days I still frequented clubs.
Trip-hop and industrial generally works best, although you may want to avoid such works as The Normal's "Warm Leatherette" and NON's... well anything by NON other than "Cleanliness and Order", really.
NIN was a favorite of my beloved paracoita, for when she performed. Rammstien's "Du Hast", is probably the song I heard most often in the days I still frequented clubs.
Trip-hop and industrial generally works best, although you may want to avoid such works as The Normal's "Warm Leatherette" and NON's... well anything by NON other than "Cleanliness and Order", really.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Cleanliness and Order would also probably work very poorly, unless I guess they did a thematic interpretation. I'm of the opinion that most all songs could be danced to, if the lady or gent is having fun with it. NON pretty much no, though. Or any noise, pretty much.
Thrill Kill Kult is pretty much meant for sleaze, so I'd suggest you download yourself one of their albums. Any of them would do, I'm sure.
Also, I've never met a person who didn't have of an opinion on music in the wild, it has to be kind of refreshing.
Cleanliness and Order would also probably work very poorly, unless I guess they did a thematic interpretation. I'm of the opinion that most all songs could be danced to, if the lady or gent is having fun with it. NON pretty much no, though. Or any noise, pretty much.
Thrill Kill Kult is pretty much meant for sleaze, so I'd suggest you download yourself one of their albums. Any of them would do, I'm sure.
Also, I've never met a person who didn't have of an opinion on music in the wild, it has to be kind of refreshing.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
PRETTY MUCH
PRETTY MUCH
wozzeck
+0 -0
I don't know what this, or the last line in the previous post, means, but I see you have some taste in music. (Also, "Cleanliness and Order" would certainly be different, but I believe it is workable.)
I don't know what this, or the last line in the previous post, means, but I see you have some taste in music. (Also, "Cleanliness and Order" would certainly be different, but I believe it is workable.)
autrepoupee
+0 -0
The refreshing taste in music bit was for the original post, I probably should've made that more clear, but he said that his girlfriend didn't have any interest in music.
As for the PRETTY MUCH that was just commentary on me saying PRETTY MUCH too much in my post, pretty much
The refreshing taste in music bit was for the original post, I probably should've made that more clear, but he said that his girlfriend didn't have any interest in music.
As for the PRETTY MUCH that was just commentary on me saying PRETTY MUCH too much in my post, pretty much
kamet
+0 -0
Eh, pretty much.
Eh, pretty much.
belgand
+0 -0
Actually it's kind of annoying and problematic. The kind of person who does not know, for example, that Jimi Hendrix was black. And is unable to recognize any of his songs.
She claims to enjoy music, but I think only in the manner of she enjoys it when it is happening to her, but will never make any effort to actually listen to it on her own or learn anything about it.
How can you talk about music when you're dealing with someone who does not know what "Stairway to Heaven" sounds like or who played it? It is like educating a disinterested child. I have to get my musical discussion on the outside.
Actually it's kind of annoying and problematic. The kind of person who does not know, for example, that Jimi Hendrix was black. And is unable to recognize any of his songs.
She claims to enjoy music, but I think only in the manner of she enjoys it when it is happening to her, but will never make any effort to actually listen to it on her own or learn anything about it.
How can you talk about music when you're dealing with someone who does not know what "Stairway to Heaven" sounds like or who played it? It is like educating a disinterested child. I have to get my musical discussion on the outside.
juanclaudius
+1 -0
i've seen a butoh/strip performance to some live noise. it uh, it worked, alarmingly...
honestly i think there are some songs that should just never be stripped to. Showroom Dummies by Kraftwerk, for example. The Conan the Barbarian soundtrack, to name another. Anything from Crass' "Penis Envy" album...or 10 Notes on a Summer's Day for that matter...
and let's not forget, it would be AWESOME to watch someone strip to Throbbing Gristle.
i've seen a butoh/strip performance to some live noise. it uh, it worked, alarmingly...
honestly i think there are some songs that should just never be stripped to. Showroom Dummies by Kraftwerk, for example. The Conan the Barbarian soundtrack, to name another. Anything from Crass' "Penis Envy" album...or 10 Notes on a Summer's Day for that matter...
and let's not forget, it would be AWESOME to watch someone strip to Throbbing Gristle.
salfordladsclub
+0 -0
Penis Envy made me hate sex for the longest time. Shit was powerful.
Penis Envy made me hate sex for the longest time. Shit was powerful.
tekende
+0 -0
Lords of Acid have a lot of songs that would be appropriate for stripping.
Lords of Acid have a lot of songs that would be appropriate for stripping.
belgand
+0 -0
Pavement, Mr. Bungle, Man... Or Astro-Man?, Hum, Atom and His Package, Velvet Underground, Pixies, King Crimson... my music collection is generally not up to the specific challenges required by this. Damn you good taste in music! If only I maybe owned some Motley Crue or other such tripe I would have options, but no. I have been brought low by listening to good music. Even if someone wants to get naked to Frank Zappa (excellent!) it is not really appropriate to dance to.
Pavement, Mr. Bungle, Man... Or Astro-Man?, Hum, Atom and His Package, Velvet Underground, Pixies, King Crimson... my music collection is generally not up to the specific challenges required by this. Damn you good taste in music! If only I maybe owned some Motley Crue or other such tripe I would have options, but no. I have been brought low by listening to good music. Even if someone wants to get naked to Frank Zappa (excellent!) it is not really appropriate to dance to.
stereo
+0 -0
Mr. Bungle is hella stripper music.
Mr. Bungle is hella stripper music.
belgand
+0 -0
I have no idea or interest in what a lady stripping to Mr. Bungle might be like. It seems like a terrible idea.
I have no idea or interest in what a lady stripping to Mr. Bungle might be like. It seems like a terrible idea.
farqussus
+0 -0
After School Special!
After School Special!
tripleg
+0 -0
the theme song to barbarella
the theme song to barbarella
redphillip
+0 -0
I can easily imagine stripping to Sweet Jane. Especially downed out or tripping on something.
I can easily imagine stripping to Sweet Jane. Especially downed out or tripping on something.
belgand
+0 -0
Lou Reed, "Perfect Day" would also be a very terrible song to strip to. Again, too slow combined with lyrics that deal strongly with self-loathing and the need to find a way to drown out the feeling that you are a worthless person.
This is, perhaps, the song that Beef must think of in regards to Molly at times.
Tom Lehrer songs would also be straight-up wrong and decidedly too geeky as well. A lady who attempts a strip routine to "The Elements", however might well cause me to forget that other women exist. Unless she's a chubbo.
Lou Reed, "Perfect Day" would also be a very terrible song to strip to. Again, too slow combined with lyrics that deal strongly with self-loathing and the need to find a way to drown out the feeling that you are a worthless person.
This is, perhaps, the song that Beef must think of in regards to Molly at times.
Tom Lehrer songs would also be straight-up wrong and decidedly too geeky as well. A lady who attempts a strip routine to "The Elements", however might well cause me to forget that other women exist. Unless she's a chubbo.
rowboat
+0 -0
Slayer
"War Ensemble"
Slayer
"War Ensemble"
tekende
+0 -0
One time I saw a stripper perform; I don't remember what song it was, but it didn't matter. This girl, she called herself Pyro. She was tall, thin, and had long black hair. Her dance was...well, interesting. She moved all over the place. She climbed up one of the poles on stage (and I don't mean a stripper pole, I mean like a load-bearing pillar in the building) and LOUDLY banged her boots against the pillar. When she was dancing upstairs she climbed and swung on the rafters (until the manager made her stop). She was thrilling.
One time I saw a stripper perform; I don't remember what song it was, but it didn't matter. This girl, she called herself Pyro. She was tall, thin, and had long black hair. Her dance was...well, interesting. She moved all over the place. She climbed up one of the poles on stage (and I don't mean a stripper pole, I mean like a load-bearing pillar in the building) and LOUDLY banged her boots against the pillar. When she was dancing upstairs she climbed and swung on the rafters (until the manager made her stop). She was thrilling.
redphillip
+0 -0
The most interesting combination I ever saw was in the film Exotica (terrific film by Atom Egoyan). Mia Kirshner plays a young woman working in a strip club, with her signature act being coming on stage dressed in a school girl uniform and dancing to Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows . I love it. (Not 'cause I find it sexy, but 'cause I find it hella surreal and 7 kinky.)
The most interesting combination I ever saw was in the film Exotica (terrific film by Atom Egoyan). Mia Kirshner plays a young woman working in a strip club, with her signature act being coming on stage dressed in a school girl uniform and dancing to Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows . I love it. (Not 'cause I find it sexy, but 'cause I find it hella surreal and 7 kinky.)
davey-boy
+0 -0
I saw that movie as well. Terrific indeed, though I didn't feel the choice of song was all that surreal. Poignant, perhaps.
I saw that movie as well. Terrific indeed, though I didn't feel the choice of song was all that surreal. Poignant, perhaps.
rowboat
+0 -0
I've been to only three strip clubs in my life. All three were visited in different years and in different states of the union. In all three instances, at least one girl danced to "Rooster" by Alice in Chains. Now that's a boner-killer! As if my boner wasn't dead enough from just being at such a place.
Strip clubs kill boners DEAD!
I've been to only three strip clubs in my life. All three were visited in different years and in different states of the union. In all three instances, at least one girl danced to "Rooster" by Alice in Chains. Now that's a boner-killer! As if my boner wasn't dead enough from just being at such a place.
Strip clubs kill boners DEAD!
sje46
+0 -0
A four drink minimum? What happens if you only have three? Do they kick you out? Kick you out when you have caught more than an eyeful of sinful ladies and while you can still take a fourth one anyway? Or is it that you have to chug-a-lug them at the entrance?
I am a child; I do not understand.
A four drink minimum? What happens if you only have three? Do they kick you out? Kick you out when you have caught more than an eyeful of sinful ladies and while you can still take a fourth one anyway? Or is it that you have to chug-a-lug them at the entrance?
I am a child; I do not understand.
belgand
+0 -0
I've never understood drink minimums in places that charge a cover. Why not just charge a cover for the full price you intend and then save money on inventory? Or perhaps it is a marketing concept whereby they wish to artificially lower the cover charge by passing it on elsewhere and assuming you're too dumb to figure the trick out.
It's ultimately incredibly annoying for me because I do not drink and thus would rather just pay the cover.
From my understanding with other types of clubs with drink minimums basically the waitress will force you into ordering drinks. If you choose not to continue order drinks up to the minimum when she comes by then, yes, you will be asked to leave.
I've never understood drink minimums in places that charge a cover. Why not just charge a cover for the full price you intend and then save money on inventory? Or perhaps it is a marketing concept whereby they wish to artificially lower the cover charge by passing it on elsewhere and assuming you're too dumb to figure the trick out.
It's ultimately incredibly annoying for me because I do not drink and thus would rather just pay the cover.
From my understanding with other types of clubs with drink minimums basically the waitress will force you into ordering drinks. If you choose not to continue order drinks up to the minimum when she comes by then, yes, you will be asked to leave.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Drink minimum is a kinder way of charging for the space you are taking up because at least you get something in return, and the club is still making near pure profit on the drinks. I can see how it would bug you to pay $15 for a couple of cokes, though.
The places I have been to that have both a cover and drink minimums are usually shows or comedy clubs where they couldn't charge the whole admission as a drink minimum or it would be something like a 10 drink minimum depicted above. I don't know how current alcohol laws would even let a club get away with a four drink minimum.
sje - Either they sell you tickets good for drinks at the door, or the waitress takes your order and money for all the drinks as soon as you sit down. They don't care if you drink them or not.
Drink minimum is a kinder way of charging for the space you are taking up because at least you get something in return, and the club is still making near pure profit on the drinks. I can see how it would bug you to pay $15 for a couple of cokes, though.
The places I have been to that have both a cover and drink minimums are usually shows or comedy clubs where they couldn't charge the whole admission as a drink minimum or it would be something like a 10 drink minimum depicted above. I don't know how current alcohol laws would even let a club get away with a four drink minimum.
sje - Either they sell you tickets good for drinks at the door, or the waitress takes your order and money for all the drinks as soon as you sit down. They don't care if you drink them or not.
belgand
+0 -0
I still fundamentally hate the idea of drink minimums. I'd much rather just pay full cover at the door. A lot of comedy clubs are also already charging what is basically a normal price for a cover at the door as it is. If the door is $30-40 there shouldn't be a drink min. as well or you are just straight up raping me.
Even as cheap as I normally am I don't care about supposedly getting something in return. I want to get the show in return, period. Charge me a full cover with no drink tickets, no minimums, just cover. Fuckknobs.
I still fundamentally hate the idea of drink minimums. I'd much rather just pay full cover at the door. A lot of comedy clubs are also already charging what is basically a normal price for a cover at the door as it is. If the door is $30-40 there shouldn't be a drink min. as well or you are just straight up raping me.
Even as cheap as I normally am I don't care about supposedly getting something in return. I want to get the show in return, period. Charge me a full cover with no drink tickets, no minimums, just cover. Fuckknobs.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
They are trying to encourage you to drink liquor more. No sober man spends seven hundo on a woman who will never have sex with him
They are trying to encourage you to drink liquor more. No sober man spends seven hundo on a woman who will never have sex with him
catgrl131
+1 -0
Oh yeah? My dad got me a laptop. He was sober.
I will not bone him.
Oh yeah? My dad got me a laptop. He was sober.
I will not bone him.
sje46
+1 -0
Does he know that?
Does he know that?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Psst... No ad-libbing! You're breaking character!
Psst... No ad-libbing! You're breaking character!
sje46
+0 -0
Also, what is boning? Is that, like, when you break a bone and your doctor has to grow a new one to replace it?
Also,
*HUGS*
Also, what is boning? Is that, like, when you break a bone and your doctor has to grow a new one to replace it?
Also,
*HUGS*
belgand
+3 -0
Sort of. It is where you remove all of their bones so that they become very floppy and you roll them around the house for fun before putting the bones back in. It's a long, challenging process that you typically only do with someone you love and trust because you don't want someone hiding your bones as a prank. That would be awkward. Nobody wants to have to roll outside and start asking neighbors for help because someone boned you and then hid in the closet as a joke.
Sort of. It is where you remove all of their bones so that they become very floppy and you roll them around the house for fun before putting the bones back in. It's a long, challenging process that you typically only do with someone you love and trust because you don't want someone hiding your bones as a prank. That would be awkward. Nobody wants to have to roll outside and start asking neighbors for help because someone boned you and then hid in the closet as a joke.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh.
So I guess I haven't been boned in my life.
:(
Oh.
So I guess I haven't been boned in my life.
:(
belgand
+0 -0
Technically you can't bone him. I mean, maybe you could peg him, but that's it.
I believe you meant to state that you would not be open to him boning you. Unless you are into that and just meant that you're not going to bone him which, well, you can't so it's not even an issue. I doubt this to be the case, however. I doubt it very much.
Technically you can't bone him. I mean, maybe you could peg him, but that's it.
I believe you meant to state that you would not be open to him boning you. Unless you are into that and just meant that you're not going to bone him which, well, you can't so it's not even an issue. I doubt this to be the case, however. I doubt it very much.
belgand
+0 -0
That is a fundamental reason I never really understood strip clubs. You get less selection than porn, but it's live, but it's also all softcore, but the lady will at least touch you a little bit.
Still, for the cash you're spending it seems like a complete waste and a terrible idea. I don't get paying a lady to be a complete tease.
That is a fundamental reason I never really understood strip clubs. You get less selection than porn, but it's live, but it's also all softcore, but the lady will at least touch you a little bit.
Still, for the cash you're spending it seems like a complete waste and a terrible idea. I don't get paying a lady to be a complete tease.
rowboat
+0 -0
Yeah, I mean, if I'm gonna give a lady all my money not to fuck me, I'll go home to my wife! Right? Right?
(I do not have a wife.)
Yeah, I mean, if I'm gonna give a lady all my money not to fuck me, I'll go home to my wife! Right? Right?
(I do not have a wife.)
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
(Then who is that strange woman at your house that you keep giving your money to?)
(Then who is that strange woman at your house that you keep giving your money to?)
rowboat
+0 -0
OH SHIIIIIIIIIT!
OH SHIIIIIIIIIT!
belgand
+0 -0
I have found that having a women you live with, but are not legally bound to who gives you her money and you rarely have sex with is an improvement in some ways, but not enough.
I have found that having a women you live with, but are not legally bound to who gives you her money and you rarely have sex with is an improvement in some ways, but not enough.
sje46
+0 -0
Ah. I see. Thanks.
Ah. I see. Thanks.
nyu
+0 -0
Is this chick going to end up being his sister or something? (notice that they look similar)
Is this chick going to end up being his sister or something? (notice that they look similar)
drskradley
+0 -0
(they are both stuffed bears)
(they are both stuffed bears)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
drskradley, i'm surprised at you!
i find that racist !
drskradley, i'm surprised at you!
i find that racist !
sje46
+0 -0
I wonder:
Is discrimination wrong if racism is true?
I wonder:
Is discrimination wrong if racism is true?
falseprophet
+0 -0
No.
No.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
...James Watson?
...James Watson?
sje46
+0 -0
Do . . .do I know you, son?
Do . . .do I know you, son?
catgrl131
+0 -0
Well I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Well I'm sorry! I was just asking!
i_love_kate
+3 -0
"Well I'm thorry! I wath jutht athking!"
"Well I'm thorry! I wath jutht athking!"
sje46
+0 -0
Lisps aren't funny.
The guy who invented that word is a real jerk.
Lisps aren't funny.
The guy who invented that word is a real jerk.
farqussus
+0 -0
I am beginning to wonder if you have a sense of humour at all.
I am beginning to wonder if you have a sense of humour at all.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah I do!
Umm
Knock knock!
Yeah I do!
Umm
Knock knock!
stereo
+3 -0
just let yourself in, I'll be with you in a minute
just let yourself in, I'll be with you in a minute
sje46
+0 -0
A certain 18 year old girl I know does not understand the concept of the knock-knock joke.
By ThE wAy, SHe TyPeS LIEks thIS, L0LZ
A certain 18 year old girl I know does not understand the concept of the knock-knock joke.
By ThE wAy, SHe TyPeS LIEks thIS, L0LZ
stereo
+1 -0
A certain 18 year old girl I know does not understand the concept of the knock-knock joke who?
It is imperative that you answer truthfully.
A certain 18 year old girl I know does not understand the concept of the knock-knock joke who?
It is imperative that you answer truthfully.
speccer
+0 -0
A certain 18 year old girl I know does not understand the concept of the knock-knock joke but she knows the basketball team.
... Biblically
A certain 18 year old girl I know does not understand the concept of the knock-knock joke but she knows the basketball team.
... Biblically
sje46
+0 -0
No. She has never known anyone.
No. She has never known anyone.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh just fucking well played all down the court on this one stereo. Bravo
Oh just fucking well played all down the court on this one stereo. Bravo
farqussus
+0 -0
I wonder why kids do that? Is it that they are so boring they have to exude some kind of wackiness in an attempt to disguise how uninteresting what they have to say is? Is it the internet version of novelty clothing?
I wonder why kids do that? Is it that they are so boring they have to exude some kind of wackiness in an attempt to disguise how uninteresting what they have to say is? Is it the internet version of novelty clothing?
stereo
+0 -0
i l0oK @ dA skI n wOndEr Y
i l0oK @ dA skI n wOndEr Y
sje46
+0 -0
That is too deep. She would never say this. 80% of her vocab consists of the words "lol", "lolz" and "idk". I mean it. I'd say "How was your day?"
"Lol"
"What did you do?"
"IDK"
"Did you go to school?"
"lol idk"
etc.
That is too deep. She would never say this. 80% of her vocab consists of the words "lol", "lolz" and "idk". I mean it. I'd say "How was your day?"
"Lol"
"What did you do?"
"IDK"
"Did you go to school?"
"lol idk"
etc.
sje46
+0 -0
My nAMe iZ KatHrYn L0LZ. =]
[Yes, that's a zero]
My nAMe iZ KatHrYn L0LZ. =]
[Yes, that's a zero]
catgrl131
+0 -0
I cannot understand why anyone would choose to tYpe LyK tHIs loLz. I cn maby undastand y ppl mite type lyk this, if they were in a hurry and needed to type really fast, or just were lazy, but having your words lO0k lYK ThIs doesn't really seem worth the effort of randomly hitting shift while you type. Can anyone explain this?!
I cannot understand why anyone would choose to tYpe LyK tHIs loLz. I cn maby undastand y ppl mite type lyk this, if they were in a hurry and needed to type really fast, or just were lazy, but having your words lO0k lYK ThIs doesn't really seem worth the effort of randomly hitting shift while you type. Can anyone explain this?!
catgrl131
+0 -0
Err, maby=maybe
How is maby formed?
How is maby formed?
Catgrl: "That's what I meant to say" since 2008
Err, maby=maybe
How is maby formed?
How is maby formed?
Catgrl: "That's what I meant to say" since 2008
sje46
+0 -0
I beeleve that is speld "mabbie".
And they have to way instain mother.
I beeleve that is speld "mabbie".
And they have to way instain mother.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
My pary is with you.
My pary is with you.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
My pary is with you.
My pary is with you.
octafish
+0 -0
Cornelius touches dancer, Cornelius walks spanish out of the club, Cornelius is stomped by Tiny the Samoan bouncer in the back alley.
Cornelius touches dancer, Cornelius walks spanish out of the club, Cornelius is stomped by Tiny the Samoan bouncer in the back alley.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
A life unapologized for is a life unlived.
A life unapologized for is a life unlived.
bondijames
+1 -0
I assume the low rating for this strip is based on the horror of this low-rent floozy replacing Cornelius's dear Iris Gambol in his heart, and not for the brilliance of the story arc I see developing here...
I assume the low rating for this strip is based on the horror of this low-rent floozy replacing Cornelius's dear Iris Gambol in his heart, and not for the brilliance of the story arc I see developing here...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lonis, buzzylinguardo, equinn2006, twainspotting, tripleG, missania, jaypage, Jeet, mrblank91, Davey-Boy, Lohninck, kb)
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lonis, buzzylinguardo, equinn2006, twainspotting, tripleG, missania, jaypage, Jeet, mrblank91, Davey-Boy, Lohninck, kb)
tz
+0 -0
man, are you fucking serious? and a clockwork reference to boot.
man, are you fucking serious? and a clockwork reference to boot.
inspectorgadget
+1 -0
Well, I've exceeded my RDA of memes for today...
Well, I've exceeded my RDA of memes for today...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sorry guys, after reading it yesterday I had to do an ACHEWOOD REMIX.
Also, tz, WHAT KIND OF FAN ARE YOU?
Sorry guys, after reading it yesterday I had to do an ACHEWOOD REMIX.
Also, tz, WHAT KIND OF FAN ARE YOU?
tz
+0 -0
I don't know what that means... a drunk fan, I suppose...
I don't know what that means... a drunk fan, I suppose...
davey-boy
+1 -0
I rated two strips just to lame this.
I hate you so much that I put effort into it.
I rated two strips just to lame this.
I hate you so much that I put effort into it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I sorry I disappointed you Lil' Jon...
I am such a terrible person....
I sorry I disappointed you Lil' Jon...
I am such a terrible person....
ixalarx
+0 -0
A comment left by ixalarx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, bondijames, invidious, tHAC0, atticusonline, tripleG, Jeet, Davey-Boy)
A comment left by ixalarx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, bondijames, invidious, tHAC0, atticusonline, tripleG, Jeet, Davey-Boy)
sje46
+0 -1
*cries*
WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?!?!?
*cries*
WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?!?!?
eatmorekix
+0 -0
god i hate that e-surance ho.
god i hate that e-surance ho.
sje46
+0 -0
I think she's purty.
:)
I think she's purty.
:)
autrepoupee
+1 -0
these statements are the sort of sentences our grandchildren are going to look at horrified when they google their grandparents in the year 4000
these statements are the sort of sentences our grandchildren are going to look at horrified when they google their grandparents in the year 4000
octafish
+0 -0
How long will our children live! I thought the Sandmen would get them all on their 30th birthday unless they are reborn in Carousel.
How long will our children live! I thought the Sandmen would get them all on their 30th birthday unless they are reborn in Carousel.
hamscout
+0 -0
Quick! Refresh Achewood!
RENEW!!!!!!
Quick! Refresh Achewood!
RENEW!!!!!!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
RENEW!
Oh man, I haven't thought about that movie in soooo long. Scared shit out of me when I was a kid.
RENEW!
Oh man, I haven't thought about that movie in soooo long. Scared shit out of me when I was a kid.
aperson
+0 -0
I heard they're doing a remake.
I heard they're doing a remake.
speccer
+0 -0
I would imagine that our grandchildren will be long gone by the year 4000.
I would imagine that our grandchildren will be long gone by the year 4000.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
maybe your grandchildren, speccer
mine will have the fightin' spirit!
looking at death and saying "No thanks, jerk! No sale !"
maybe your grandchildren, speccer
mine will have the fightin' spirit!
looking at death and saying "No thanks, jerk! No sale !"
farqussus
+0 -0
Death and pushy salesmen get similar treatment.
Death and pushy salesmen get similar treatment.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My grandchildren will be boning your grandchildren like crazy. Just boning them all the time
My grandchildren will be boning your grandchildren like crazy. Just boning them all the time
tripleg
+0 -0
the thought that, like ancient graffiti, a message board such as assetbar may one day be published in a scholarly journal and require footnotes, is horrifying
the thought that, like ancient graffiti, a message board such as assetbar may one day be published in a scholarly journal and require footnotes, is horrifying
sje46
+0 -0
I get the feeling that you guys are picking on me.
:(
I get the feeling that you guys are picking on me.
:(
odog
+0 -1
Dogg no offense but check last strip's comments- I think you got scooped on the /b/tarded trolling.
Dogg no offense but check last strip's comments- I think you got scooped on the /b/tarded trolling.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I regret posting the link to 'how to so-cash troll' so very much. You may all spank me roundly if you so feel
I regret posting the link to 'how to so-cash troll' so very much. You may all spank me roundly if you so feel
kamet
+0 -0
Yay! (gets the paddle)
Yay! (gets the paddle)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
A spanking! A spanking!
And then the oral sex!
A spanking! A spanking!
And then the oral sex!
kamet
+0 -0
Yes.. I am Zut reincarnated.
Yes.. I am Zut reincarnated.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
"And so, Sir Lancelot was saved from almost certain temptation!"
"And so, Sir Lancelot was saved from almost certain temptation!"
tripleg
+0 -0
"And so, Sir Galahad was saved from almost certain temptation."
"And so, Sir Galahad was saved from almost certain temptation."
kamet
+0 -0
"I'm sure I can handle the peril!"
"I'm sure I can handle the peril!"
sje46
+1 -0
Okay, I'll just link to it, because I feel that if I post the image I will be lamed into an even deeper oblivion than otherwise.
https://xkcd.com/16/
Okay, I'll just link to it, because I feel that if I post the image I will be lamed into an even deeper oblivion than otherwise.
https://xkcd.com/16/
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Love that strip, so true.
Love that strip, so true.
sje46
+0 -0
I feel that even Achewood fans should like this particular strip.
I feel that even Achewood fans should like this particular strip.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
See, now.
Generally I am somewhat neutral towards xkcd. Usually I just think it's dull, but every once in a while I can get a pretty good chuckle.
That strip, however, just made me realize what everyone around here is usually talking about.
Don't be sad though, I still think that you are rad.
See, now.
Generally I am somewhat neutral towards xkcd. Usually I just think it's dull, but every once in a while I can get a pretty good chuckle.
That strip, however, just made me realize what everyone around here is usually talking about.
Don't be sad though, I still think that you are rad.
sje46
+0 -0
:(
I bet you don't really think I'm rad.
I bet you're just saying that.
:(
I bet you don't really think I'm rad.
I bet you're just saying that.
tekende
+0 -0
Mm, nope. At least not in my case. I thought it was stupid.
Mm, nope. At least not in my case. I thought it was stupid.
rowboat
+0 -0
Still sucks. Surprise.
Still sucks. Surprise.
sje46
+0 -0
I've noticed that people here don't say that they think something is not funny, they just say it is, objectively.
I've noticed that people here don't say that they think something is not funny, they just say it is, objectively.
aperson
+0 -0
People here... on planet Earth?
People here... on planet Earth?
tekende
+0 -0
I said "thought."
I said "thought."
sje46
+0 -0
"Thought"=/="think".
Okay, you're right. I admit it.
"Thought"=/="think".
Okay, you're right. I admit it.
rowboat
+0 -0
Still sucks.
I think.
Still sucks.
I think.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The opinions of Assetbarristas are facts and if you say different I will think you're a dick. ohshit
But seriously, I quite like xkcd.
The opinions of Assetbarristas are facts and if you say different I will think you're a dick. ohshit
But seriously, I quite like xkcd.
sje46
+0 -0
Actually I'm a Sean.
*hugs silly I_love_kate*
Actually I'm a Sean.
*hugs silly I_love_kate*
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fuck you. V-chub.
Fuck you. V-chub.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Whoa, sliced that one. Directed at tripleg.
Whoa, sliced that one. Directed at tripleg.
stereo
+0 -0
Naked drawn eSurance people are so cash
Naked drawn eSurance people are so cash
hamscout
+0 -0
Then you'll be drawn to this .
Then you'll be drawn to this .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OH GOD.
Not even the image...the music.
OH GOD.
Not even the image...the music.
speccer
+0 -0
You've not yet learned to follow YTMND links with your sound muted?
You've not yet learned to follow YTMND links with your sound muted?
stereo
+0 -0
you ass
you ass
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I like how indifferent she looks.
I like how indifferent she looks.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I would describe it more as "bemused".
I would describe it more as "bemused".
pogo
+1 -0
DO NOT OPEN AT WORK!!!
DO NOT OPEN AT WORK!!!
farqussus
+0 -0
DO NOT OPEN WITH HEADPHONES TURNED UP LOUD AND THE FEAR OF FARTS IN YOUR ASS.
DO NOT OPEN WITH HEADPHONES TURNED UP LOUD AND THE FEAR OF FARTS IN YOUR ASS.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Who are the retards that keep laming these? They are hilarious.
Who are the retards that keep laming these? They are hilarious.
dangelder
+0 -0
You get straight A's and have a banging wife? That's a little weird.
You get straight A's and have a banging wife? That's a little weird.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
God I so screwed the pooch on that...
I'm gonna go kill myself brb.
God I so screwed the pooch on that...
I'm gonna go kill myself brb.
rowboat
+0 -0
I guess people have a pretty short memory.
I guess people have a pretty short memory.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Nope, did it on purpose.
Nope, did it on purpose.
rowboat
+0 -0
I know. I was talking about the other people who seemed confused about what you were doing.
I know. I was talking about the other people who seemed confused about what you were doing.
sje46
+0 -0
I never understood: is pictures for sad children supposed to be bad? Or is it that I just don't get it?
I never understood: is pictures for sad children supposed to be bad? Or is it that I just don't get it?
hedonismbot
+1 -0
It is because you are a happy young man that you don't get it
It is because you are a happy young man that you don't get it
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I love pfsc so no.
I love pfsc so no.
tekende
+1 -0
Pictures for Sad Children is BRILLIANT. Go to a dungeon.
Pictures for Sad Children is BRILLIANT. Go to a dungeon.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Dude, I started out loving it, but lately it's been like oh my god not another fucking deadpan commentary about how pretentious and self-absorbed hipsters/artists are, I fucking get it already .
Dude, I started out loving it, but lately it's been like oh my god not another fucking deadpan commentary about how pretentious and self-absorbed hipsters/artists are, I fucking get it already .
salfordladsclub
+0 -0
"jerking off to pictures for sad children" was inspired.
"jerking off to pictures for sad children" was inspired.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The whole thing was supposed to be full of webcomic references but I couldn't do one for dinosaur comics so I quit.
The whole thing was supposed to be full of webcomic references but I couldn't do one for dinosaur comics so I quit.
zeal
+3 -0
Last time Cornelius was on the prowl you had to go to Far Nippon to find a lady with hair chopsticks.
Last time Cornelius was on the prowl you had to go to Far Nippon to find a lady with hair chopsticks.
bumpishound
+0 -0
HOORAY LIFE!
HOORAY LIFE!
morypcaina
+1 -0
Red Stripe is OK for drinking but I prefer to avoid the strippers that have one.
Red Stripe is OK for drinking but I prefer to avoid the strippers that have one.
axhoola
+0 -0
Oh man that is mega nasty
Oh man that is mega nasty
sje46
+0 -0
that is canine defecation.
that is canine defecation.
aperson
+0 -0
Cornelius is the hapless dodo.
The stripper is a boat-load of seamen.
This is not a haiku.
Cornelius is the hapless dodo.
The stripper is a boat-load of seamen.
This is not a haiku.
aperson
+0 -0
G'night. Have a good presidential debate, Americans!
G'night. Have a good presidential debate, Americans!
baryonyx
+5 -0
Today's Achewood is brought to you by the letter Q, the number 4, and the sentence "You like one, and I get you a private dance."
Today's Achewood is brought to you by the letter Q, the number 4, and the sentence "You like one, and I get you a private dance."
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I recognise that last panel. That's a translated incarnation that is necessary to raise a war-worn soldier from the big sleep!
I recognise that last panel. That's a translated incarnation that is necessary to raise a war-worn soldier from the big sleep!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
To attention Old General! Show some respect and a fighting spirit!
To attention Old General! Show some respect and a fighting spirit!
speccer
+2 -0
The dude named his penis Burberry.
The dude named his penis Burberry.
hoboninja
+0 -0
I would have figured Bunbury.
I would have figured Bunbury.
snidedk
+0 -0
Only when he's Ernestly attracted to someone.
Only when he's Ernestly attracted to someone.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
We spent two classes talking about that play before our professor asked "what do you think bunburying means?" and a sudden wave of realization washed over everyone.
We spent two classes talking about that play before our professor asked "what do you think bunburying means?" and a sudden wave of realization washed over everyone.
wozzeck
+5 -0
Onstad... how could you? How could you know ? How could you know to make the cartoon animal stripper look like her ?
You bastard .
Onstad... how could you? How could you know ? How could you know to make the cartoon animal stripper look like her ?
You bastard .
tripleg
+0 -0
let us break the 250 comment barrier so i can give this fellow a chubby.
let us break the 250 comment barrier so i can give this fellow a chubby.
daidai
+0 -0
Wihtout pupils, lips, or ribs (although she oddly has a large protruding sternum) I am pretty convinced that that massive-shouldered beast has no soul.
Wihtout pupils, lips, or ribs (although she oddly has a large protruding sternum) I am pretty convinced that that massive-shouldered beast has no soul.
daidai
+0 -2
Fuck she's a stripper. That comment was like telling you that blueberries are blue.
Fuck she's a stripper. That comment was like telling you that blueberries are blue.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I always thought they were kinda purple.
I always thought they were kinda purple.
wozzeck
+0 -1
That was me. I lamed you. You deserved it.
That was me. I lamed you. You deserved it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
m-m-man! you must have some pretty wicked sack to be talkin' to him that way, wozzeck!
m-m-man! you must have some pretty wicked sack to be talkin' to him that way, wozzeck!
davey-boy
+1 -0
He has the Wicked Sack of the West.
It shrivels up when you douse it with water.
He has the Wicked Sack of the West.
It shrivels up when you douse it with water.
daidai
+0 -0
Sounds like wozzeck wants to FLUFF MY HOG
Sounds like wozzeck wants to FLUFF MY HOG
achilleselbow
+0 -0
They're already dead inside.
They're already dead inside.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Or she is Little Orphan Annie.
Funny enough, in most Little Orphan's cases, this is the epilogue to their life.
The final frame.
Or she is Little Orphan Annie.
Funny enough, in most Little Orphan's cases, this is the epilogue to their life.
The final frame.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
This is Act 4 for most of them. Act 5 is often under my house
This is Act 4 for most of them. Act 5 is often under my house
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I thought I misread this at first. My mind tried to decipher is as "at my house" and "under my nose."
Then I realized it was hedonismbot, and all the pieces fell into place!
I thought I misread this at first. My mind tried to decipher is as "at my house" and "under my nose."
Then I realized it was hedonismbot, and all the pieces fell into place!
stereo
+0 -0
Hooker orphans are a boon to our economy.
Hooker orphans are a boon to our economy.
aarongstock
+1 -0
I'm so glad Molly's prettier than this lady.
I'm so glad Molly's prettier than this lady.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Burberry, really? Quite chav, Cornelius. Chav massive .
Burberry, really? Quite chav, Cornelius. Chav massive .
wilto
+0 -0
Not way back in the day, man. Back then, it was a thing of class and taste. Likewise with Abercrombie and Fitch, turns out.
I learned this from M*A*S*H.
Not way back in the day, man. Back then, it was a thing of class and taste. Likewise with Abercrombie and Fitch, turns out.
I learned this from M*A*S*H.
sean1058
+0 -0
looks like teodor with tits
looks like teodor with tits
applebed
+3 -0
1) Cornelius does not wear Burberry. He is wearing Harris tweed.
2) Cornelius was in the room when they invented burlesque.
1) Cornelius does not wear Burberry. He is wearing Harris tweed.
2) Cornelius was in the room when they invented burlesque.
vermy
+0 -0
I'm just glad it's another bear. I thought Chris was under some contract to only draw cat characters now
I'm just glad it's another bear. I thought Chris was under some contract to only draw cat characters now
mrchee
+1 -0
That stripper falls squarely into the uncanny valley
That stripper falls squarely into the uncanny valley
cpnglxynchos
+1 -1
she probably has a non-cunni valley.
(this comment will probably be lamed into oblivion.)
she probably has a non-cunni valley.
(this comment will probably be lamed into oblivion.)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
After panel 3, I had one image in my head:
Sorry.
After panel 3, I had one image in my head:
Sorry.
farqussus
+0 -0
Track 1. Whiter Shade of Pale.
<end of tracklist>
Track 1. Whiter Shade of Pale.
<end of tracklist>
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Bonus Tracks:
1. A Whiter Shade of Pale (Alternate recording)
2. A Whiter Shade of Pale (Live)
4. A Whiter Shade of Pale (feat. Jay-Z)
Seriously, 3 CDs?
Bonus Tracks:
1. A Whiter Shade of Pale (Alternate recording)
2. A Whiter Shade of Pale (Live)
4. A Whiter Shade of Pale (feat. Jay-Z)
Seriously, 3 CDs?
mattylite
+0 -0
Further listening:
1. Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme (aka that one Bach chorale with the part that sounds kinda like that one part of Whiter Shade of Pale)
Further listening:
1. Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme (aka that one Bach chorale with the part that sounds kinda like that one part of Whiter Shade of Pale)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh my shit, look at that listing: 1, 2, 4. Truly I am out of my mind.
Oh my shit, look at that listing: 1, 2, 4. Truly I am out of my mind.
farqussus
+0 -0
4 ALBUMS , 3 CDs.
4 ALBUMS , 3 CDs.
stereo
+0 -0
That's almost as crazy as the thing with the pigs.
That's almost as crazy as the thing with the pigs.
catgrl131
+0 -0
?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
FUCK. That is crazy.
FUCK. That is crazy.
speccer
+0 -0
Is that wolf dead? Did that pig just kill that wolf? Stay the fuck away from me you psychopath.
Is that wolf dead? Did that pig just kill that wolf? Stay the fuck away from me you psychopath.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I just noticed the rating of 3 . What kind of message are we sending with this game, is what I want to know. This looks like a job for The O'Reilly Factor. Or The McLaughlin Group.
I just noticed the rating of 3 . What kind of message are we sending with this game, is what I want to know. This looks like a job for The O'Reilly Factor. Or The McLaughlin Group.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I'd fuck her
I'd fuck her
qingofchina
+2 -0
The chopsticks are for clearing the crackpipe.
The chopsticks are for clearing the crackpipe.
mikeronomicon
+1 -0
Man, I dated a stripper for about a month four years ago. I always thought it would be awesome, but it turned out to be the craziest woman I had ever dated. I don't mean crazy in the traditional sense, but rather in the scary, stalk you and try to kill you sort of way. I will (hopefully) never do that again.
Man, I dated a stripper for about a month four years ago. I always thought it would be awesome, but it turned out to be the craziest woman I had ever dated. I don't mean crazy in the traditional sense, but rather in the scary, stalk you and try to kill you sort of way. I will (hopefully) never do that again.
fookerreturns
+1 -1
Man, you want crazy, you should hear about this girl. She was driving up to visit me and I sent her boyfriend-who-I-thought-she'd-broken-up-with-again-fella a little email. Y'know. Internet shit. Didn't tell him any details, just asked him where she had been the time we were naked in a hotel room the last time I was down where they are. Bitch calls me crying and screaming that he asked her who I was, that she thought he knew everything so she admitted it all, he yelled at her until she cried, told all their friends, and that her reputation was ruined, couldn't return to Florida ever, etc. We're talking hysterical here. So I ask the guy if he enjoys being verbally abusive, and it turns out... the conversation she was so hysterical about.... DUN DUN DUN... never actually happened. I ended up telling him everything myself at this point anyway, back from the beginning where I introduced her to achewood and got head from her in an airport when we first met (in person).
And now they're starting a family, I think. :D
Man, you want crazy, you should hear about this girl. She was driving up to visit me and I sent her boyfriend-who-I-thought-she'd-broken-up-with-again-fella a little email. Y'know. Internet shit. Didn't tell him any details, just asked him where she had been the time we were naked in a hotel room the last time I was down where they are. Bitch calls me crying and screaming that he asked her who I was, that she thought he knew everything so she admitted it all, he yelled at her until she cried, told all their friends, and that her reputation was ruined, couldn't return to Florida ever, etc. We're talking hysterical here. So I ask the guy if he enjoys being verbally abusive, and it turns out... the conversation she was so hysterical about.... DUN DUN DUN... never actually happened. I ended up telling him everything myself at this point anyway, back from the beginning where I introduced her to achewood and got head from her in an airport when we first met (in person).
And now they're starting a family, I think. :D
davey-boy
+2 -1
HI I AM GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. MAN, YOU WANT CRAZY, YOU SHOULD HEAR ABOUT THIS GIRL. SHE WAS DRIVING UP TO VISIT ME AND I SENT HER BOYFRIEND-WHO-I-THOUGHT-SHE'D-BROKEN-UP-WITH-AGAIN-FELLA A LITTLE EMAIL. Y'KNOW. INTERNET SHIT. DIDN'T TELL HIM ANY DETAILS, JUST ASKED HIM WHERE SHE HAD BEEN THE TIME WE WERE NAKED IN A HOTEL ROOM THE LAST TIME I WAS DOWN WHERE THEY ARE. BITCH CALLS ME CRYING AND SCREAMING THAT HE ASKED HER WHO I WAS, THAT SHE THOUGHT HE KNEW EVERYTHING SO SHE ADMITTED IT ALL, HE YELLED AT HER UNTIL SHE CRIED, TOLD ALL THEIR FRIENDS, AND THAT HER REPUTATION WAS RUINED, COULDN'T RETURN TO FLORIDA EVER, ETC. WE'RE TALKING HYSTERICAL HERE. SO I ASK THE GUY IF HE ENJOYS BEING VERBALLY ABUSIVE, AND IT TURNS OUT... THE CONVERSATION SHE WAS SO HYSTERICAL ABOUT.... DUN DUN DUN... NEVER ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I ENDED UP TELLING HIM EVERYTHING MYSELF AT THIS POINT ANYWAY, BACK FROM THE BEGINNING WHERE I INTRODUCED HER TO ACHEWOOD AND GOT HEAD FROM HER IN AN AIRPORT WHEN WE FIRST MET (IN PERSON).AND NOW THEY'RE STARTING A FAMILY, I THINK. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI I AM GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. MAN, YOU WANT CRAZY, YOU SHOULD HEAR ABOUT THIS GIRL. SHE WAS DRIVING UP TO VISIT ME AND I SENT HER BOYFRIEND-WHO-I-THOUGHT-SHE'D-BROKEN-UP-WITH-AGAIN-FELLA A LITTLE EMAIL. Y'KNOW. INTERNET SHIT. DIDN'T TELL HIM ANY DETAILS, JUST ASKED HIM WHERE SHE HAD BEEN THE TIME WE WERE NAKED IN A HOTEL ROOM THE LAST TIME I WAS DOWN WHERE THEY ARE. BITCH CALLS ME CRYING AND SCREAMING THAT HE ASKED HER WHO I WAS, THAT SHE THOUGHT HE KNEW EVERYTHING SO SHE ADMITTED IT ALL, HE YELLED AT HER UNTIL SHE CRIED, TOLD ALL THEIR FRIENDS, AND THAT HER REPUTATION WAS RUINED, COULDN'T RETURN TO FLORIDA EVER, ETC. WE'RE TALKING HYSTERICAL HERE. SO I ASK THE GUY IF HE ENJOYS BEING VERBALLY ABUSIVE, AND IT TURNS OUT... THE CONVERSATION SHE WAS SO HYSTERICAL ABOUT.... DUN DUN DUN... NEVER ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I ENDED UP TELLING HIM EVERYTHING MYSELF AT THIS POINT ANYWAY, BACK FROM THE BEGINNING WHERE I INTRODUCED HER TO ACHEWOOD AND GOT HEAD FROM HER IN AN AIRPORT WHEN WE FIRST MET (IN PERSON).AND NOW THEY'RE STARTING A FAMILY, I THINK. I GUARANTEE IT.
tekende
+0 -0
HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS
hedonismbot
+0 -0
THAT WOMAN WAS YOUR MOTHER!
THAT WOMAN WAS YOUR MOTHER!
davey-boy
+0 -1
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
speccer
+0 -0
I thought "You're treading on thin ice, here, stealing fooker's bit." Then, I saw your handle.
Also, what the hell is that in your avicon?
I thought "You're treading on thin ice, here, stealing fooker's bit." Then, I saw your handle.
Also, what the hell is that in your avicon?
syncopation
+0 -0
I mean, if I really had to guess, I'm gonna have to say it's a spray-painted-black Nerf Vulcan EBF-25. The toy gun is goddamned BELT-FED. Tell me that isn't crazy (read: awesome).
I mean, if I really had to guess, I'm gonna have to say it's a spray-painted-black Nerf Vulcan EBF-25. The toy gun is goddamned BELT-FED. Tell me that isn't crazy (read: awesome).
syncopation
+2 -0
Actually, perhaps this is a more appropriate picture:
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Actually, perhaps this is a more appropriate picture:
kamet
+0 -0
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
saulbellow
+0 -0
That guy has SO MUCH vaseline on his face
That guy has SO MUCH vaseline on his face
farqussus
+3 -0
Casey's other brother.
Casey's other brother.
kickstart
+1 -0
Bang bang cops and robbers
Bang bang robbers and cops
Bang bang cops and robbers
Bang bang robbers and cops
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I have a surprise for you...
It's your pep-pep.
I have a surprise for you...
It's your pep-pep.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And cleavage. That man has so much cleavage.
And cleavage. That man has so much cleavage.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm gonna go ahead and ignore you. Feel free to post as fooker, I won't ignore that one.
I'm gonna go ahead and ignore you. Feel free to post as fooker, I won't ignore that one.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Wait, that is not traditional crazy?
Wait, that is not traditional crazy?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Furry fap material is no longer frowned upon in Acheworld.
Furry fap material is no longer frowned upon in Acheworld.
magreaux_dogg
+0 -0
This joint is so classy, its name on the awning is written in Copperplate Gothic Bold.
This joint is so classy, its name on the awning is written in Copperplate Gothic Bold.
aeater
+0 -0
Do girls get necks because they have cleavage? :|9
Do girls get necks because they have cleavage? :|9
speccer
+0 -0
Now that you point it out, the juxtaposition of the still-cartoonishly-drawn Cornelius with the more human-looking stripper is just downright strange .
Now that you point it out, the juxtaposition of the still-cartoonishly-drawn Cornelius with the more human-looking stripper is just downright strange .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
How many Achewood strips have taken place at the nudie bar?
How many Achewood strips have taken place at the nudie bar?
mando86
+0 -0
Someone's about to get their bone on.
Someone's about to get their bone on.
tripleg
+0 -0
bone bone bone
bone bone bone
singtralala
+0 -0
o how many a time have i felt "oh, well. when in sodom"
o how many a time have i felt "oh, well. when in sodom"
drmemory
+0 -0
By god, it's there, bad grammar and all. I am officially Schooled.
By god, it's there, bad grammar and all. I am officially Schooled.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Called it!
Called it!
weekendofsound
+0 -0
dude, it immediately scared me thinking about what that chick was gonna look like. I mean, I guess it's pretty hard to make a stuffed animal look fuckable, unless you're into that.
dude, it immediately scared me thinking about what that chick was gonna look like. I mean, I guess it's pretty hard to make a stuffed animal look fuckable, unless you're into that.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Anyone see the new episode of Aqua Teen?
Anyone see the new episode of Aqua Teen?
sje46
+0 -1
I try not to. It gives me pretty bad nightmares. It was my mom's suggestion to avoid watching late night Cartoon Network.
I try not to. It gives me pretty bad nightmares. It was my mom's suggestion to avoid watching late night Cartoon Network.
meddle
+0 -0
NO, no, the cure for nightmares is further up on this page. Pancakes, dude. Pancakes.
NO, no, the cure for nightmares is further up on this page. Pancakes, dude. Pancakes.
speccer
+0 -0
What new episode? They haven't made any since the season with Count Marcula. Who is, by the way, my favorite character ever.
What new episode? They haven't made any since the season with Count Marcula. Who is, by the way, my favorite character ever.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh. It was up on the Adult Swim site so I assumed it was a new one. It was entitled "Hoppy Bunny" and it involved furries and Carl. Enough said.
Oh. It was up on the Adult Swim site so I assumed it was a new one. It was entitled "Hoppy Bunny" and it involved furries and Carl. Enough said.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
While he's not my favorite, I don't know why I like the character so much; I mean, he seems like a pretty tossed-off, weak character on the face of it (I kind of picture a Poochy-like creation for Marcula, especially the name: "let's have a dracula-type, always does the exact opposite of a decent person, and give him an absurd name, like 'Marcula'...only funnier"..."So, everyone okay with Marcula then?").
But, somehow it works.
While he's not my favorite, I don't know why I like the character so much; I mean, he seems like a pretty tossed-off, weak character on the face of it (I kind of picture a Poochy-like creation for Marcula, especially the name: "let's have a dracula-type, always does the exact opposite of a decent person, and give him an absurd name, like 'Marcula'...only funnier"..."So, everyone okay with Marcula then?").
But, somehow it works.
kamet
+0 -0
The wheels are the markings.
The wheels are the markings.
subrosian
+3 -1
At the tender age of 21 I rescued from my friend's pool house a crow of appreciable durability. Attacked by the pair of guard dogs it had the audacity to continue living. My attempts to nurse it back to health came across its surprising diet - the beat refused to dine on anything other than Wendy's Brand Processed Chicken Nuggets. It devoured such meat with relish, and within the day was escaping its confinement.
By noon of the following there was no containing it - Cornelius simply refused to respect conventional wisdom, or several of the Laws of Medicine. Veterinary science could find no cure - we were forced to send it back to the wild, were it is presumably king of the crows, and may possibly lead to the Downfall of Man.
Connie here is a king amongst men - defying the wisdom of his years to bask in the illusion of being sought. And yet, though this stripper has come to him seeking money, she will leave longing for the intangible aura of mastery that surrounds the man. And Connie will turn her down - for one brief moment she will stand with a man who has accepted the vices of the world, yet feel no guilt for them.
At the tender age of 21 I rescued from my friend's pool house a crow of appreciable durability. Attacked by the pair of guard dogs it had the audacity to continue living. My attempts to nurse it back to health came across its surprising diet - the beat refused to dine on anything other than Wendy's Brand Processed Chicken Nuggets. It devoured such meat with relish, and within the day was escaping its confinement.
By noon of the following there was no containing it - Cornelius simply refused to respect conventional wisdom, or several of the Laws of Medicine. Veterinary science could find no cure - we were forced to send it back to the wild, were it is presumably king of the crows, and may possibly lead to the Downfall of Man.
Connie here is a king amongst men - defying the wisdom of his years to bask in the illusion of being sought. And yet, though this stripper has come to him seeking money, she will leave longing for the intangible aura of mastery that surrounds the man. And Connie will turn her down - for one brief moment she will stand with a man who has accepted the vices of the world, yet feel no guilt for them.
opprobrium
+0 -0
No open sores? No knife or gunshot wounds? What kind of gyp joint is this 'Cheetah Room' anyhow?
Also, please do not turn this into a "Connie got nasty with a tranny" storyline. He's the only character I fully respect.
No open sores? No knife or gunshot wounds? What kind of gyp joint is this 'Cheetah Room' anyhow?
Also, please do not turn this into a "Connie got nasty with a tranny" storyline. He's the only character I fully respect.
stereo
+0 -0
Oh please, like if he was gay you would suddenly not respect him anymore.
Lame.
Oh please, like if he was gay you would suddenly not respect him anymore.
Lame.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Getting nasty with a tranny =/= gay. At least that's what I tell myself.
Getting nasty with a tranny =/= gay. At least that's what I tell myself.
opprobrium
+0 -0
don't mince my words, boy.
don't mince my words, boy.
theirateturk
+0 -0
For a minute I misread the sign on the door as saying "No Morons".
For a minute I misread the sign on the door as saying "No Morons".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That would be really bad business for a strip club, unless it was in a Woody Allen story.
That would be really bad business for a strip club, unless it was in a Woody Allen story.
usversusthem
+0 -0
v-chub for a great reference. (not mla style, but still)
v-chub for a great reference. (not mla style, but still)
goocifer
+0 -0
She's got the shoulders of a linebacker... Cornelius may be misled by the lecherous advances of a switch-playing applejohn turnabout!
She's got the shoulders of a linebacker... Cornelius may be misled by the lecherous advances of a switch-playing applejohn turnabout!
thickbasssteak
+0 -0
Tits like two slices of baloney.
Tits like two slices of baloney.
goro
+0 -0
Guys, she's a bear, looking like Teodor is not her fault. Are you saying all bear people look the same to you or something?
I think this girl can only mean fun. For everyone.
Guys, she's a bear, looking like Teodor is not her fault. Are you saying all bear people look the same to you or something?
I think this girl can only mean fun. For everyone.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
The first time I read this I saw the line as "There is but unapologetic LIES!"
I gotta say I think that is more apropos. Then again, Cornelius has proven himself to be an astute character, I guess he sees something I do not.
The first time I read this I saw the line as "There is but unapologetic LIES!"
I gotta say I think that is more apropos. Then again, Cornelius has proven himself to be an astute character, I guess he sees something I do not.
ryaldin
+0 -0
That is a stuffed bear stripper with abdominal musculature. Jesus H.
That is a stuffed bear stripper with abdominal musculature. Jesus H.
llobstrosity
+0 -0
Every time I go to a strip joint, I fall in love. And spend $300.
Every time I go to a strip joint, I fall in love. And spend $300.
philipmarschall
+5 -1
Hey Friends
My name is John, and I love every single one of you. All of you are fit, intelligent, socially experienced people who spend every second of their day being good to eachother. You are everything nice in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten in any trouble? I mean, I guess it's fun helping people because of your own generosity, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even better than being nice to people on facebook
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much happy. I was captain of the chess team, and volunteer at the library. What sports do you play, other than "animal shelter helper"? I also am straight edge, and have a moderately attractive spouse (She just wrote me; it was SO nice). You are all buddies who should just love eachother. Thanks for listening.
Photo Related: It's me and my steady girlfriend, whom I love dearly
Hey Friends
My name is John, and I love every single one of you. All of you are fit, intelligent, socially experienced people who spend every second of their day being good to eachother. You are everything nice in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten in any trouble? I mean, I guess it's fun helping people because of your own generosity, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even better than being nice to people on facebook
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much happy. I was captain of the chess team, and volunteer at the library. What sports do you play, other than "animal shelter helper"? I also am straight edge, and have a moderately attractive spouse (She just wrote me; it was SO nice). You are all buddies who should just love eachother. Thanks for listening.
Photo Related: It's me and my steady girlfriend, whom I love dearly
farqussus
+1 -0
You have a spouse and a steady girlfriend.
You have a spouse and a steady girlfriend.
rowboat
+0 -0
Wow. After his post on the last strip, I immediately dismissed philipmarschall as a common troll. Now I see that he is a true artist.
By the way, my favorite part is the "she just blew me; shit was SO cash" variation. That's really great.
Wow. After his post on the last strip, I immediately dismissed philipmarschall as a common troll. Now I see that he is a true artist.
By the way, my favorite part is the "she just blew me; shit was SO cash" variation. That's really great.
sje46
+0 -0
That is very nice! Thank you for the very fine words. I feel as though I should give you something, something very nice. What do I have here?
*searches*
Lint, old penny, awesomely green rock I found, yummy M&M!, top . .. .
Oh, nevermind! Just have a hug instead!
*hug*
That is very nice! Thank you for the very fine words. I feel as though I should give you something, something very nice. What do I have here?
*searches*
Lint, old penny, awesomely green rock I found, yummy M&M!, top . .. .
Oh, nevermind! Just have a hug instead!
*hug*
mercuri0us
+0 -0
how about a chubby
how about a chubby
fancyface
+0 -0
What everyone has seemed to fail to notice is the fine dotted line around the neck of this "bear". Go take a look! Clearly, this is the poorly concealed scarring that often accompanies Human-to-Stuffed-Bear head transplants. I foresee a flashback storyline documenting what circumstances would force this poor woman to undergo a complete (though slightly botched) operation such as this.
What everyone has seemed to fail to notice is the fine dotted line around the neck of this "bear". Go take a look! Clearly, this is the poorly concealed scarring that often accompanies Human-to-Stuffed-Bear head transplants. I foresee a flashback storyline documenting what circumstances would force this poor woman to undergo a complete (though slightly botched) operation such as this.
stereo
+1 -0
It's a pretty seamy club.
It's a pretty seamy club.
tekende
+0 -0
AAAARRRRGGGHHAAAAGGGAAAAAAHHHH
AAAARRRRGGGHHAAAAGGGAAAAAAHHHH
autrepoupee
+0 -0
chubb'd straight to hell, I love it.
Also, yeah, what is the deal with that seam? It reminds me of that urban legend with the girl who wears a ribbon around her neck, and when her love finally removes it BOOM HEAD LANDS IN LAP: NOT ANIMATE ENOUGH FOR HEAD THO
chubb'd straight to hell, I love it.
Also, yeah, what is the deal with that seam? It reminds me of that urban legend with the girl who wears a ribbon around her neck, and when her love finally removes it BOOM HEAD LANDS IN LAP: NOT ANIMATE ENOUGH FOR HEAD THO
tekende
+0 -0
I don't think it's a seam. I think it's a necklace.
I don't think it's a seam. I think it's a necklace.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Or Orzenblatt doing a bad job rendering a skinny broad's collarbone
Or Orzenblatt doing a bad job rendering a skinny broad's collarbone
kickstart
+0 -0
Orzenblatt...that's the stadium where they hold the Bizarro College World Series, right?
Orzenblatt...that's the stadium where they hold the Bizarro College World Series, right?
dammittim
+0 -0
You know what my life needs more of? My life needs more nubiles cavorting hither and yon.
Cornelius is to the English language what Motorhead is to Metal: he may not have invented it, but goddamn, the things he does with it. Chaucer ain't got shit to say about Larry Borgioni's The Cheetah Room.
You know what my life needs more of? My life needs more nubiles cavorting hither and yon.
Cornelius is to the English language what Motorhead is to Metal: he may not have invented it, but goddamn, the things he does with it. Chaucer ain't got shit to say about Larry Borgioni's The Cheetah Room.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Geoffrey... Chaucer's... Dead...
Geoffrey... Chaucer's... Dead...
sje46
+0 -0
No!
No!
davey-boy
+0 -0
White on white translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Geoffrey Chaucer's Dead
White on white translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Geoffrey Chaucer's Dead
soupkaty
+0 -0
Austin-area Assetbarrians, what say you of Fun Fun Fun Fest?
Austin-area Assetbarrians, what say you of Fun Fun Fun Fest?
speth
+1 -0
i'm horny
i'm horny
autrepoupee
+0 -0
still my favorite poster
still my favorite poster
iseedeadpixels
+8 -0
Today i think is a good day for guest comics
Alt text:the bird is uncomfortable at the antics of the two cats
Today i think is a good day for guest comics
Alt text:the bird is uncomfortable at the antics of the two cats
tomselleck69
+0 -0
Look, the thing about Nedroid? It's that he's great.
Look, the thing about Nedroid? It's that he's great.
ham_shoes
+2 -0
Did you get the idea from the title of this John Lurie painting? ::::
Did you get the idea from the title of this John Lurie painting? ::::
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this painting speaks to me...in several different languages.
this painting speaks to me...in several different languages.
bpmead
+0 -0
My god. Finding a Lounge Lizards fan on the Achewood board was a most unexpected and most welcome surprise tonight. A thousand chubbies to you.
My god. Finding a Lounge Lizards fan on the Achewood board was a most unexpected and most welcome surprise tonight. A thousand chubbies to you.
defiler
+0 -0
Any relation to the Borgiolini family in the tooltip of this strip? https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08052008
Any relation to the Borgiolini family in the tooltip of this strip? https://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08052008
speccer
+0 -0
Borgioni != Borgiolini
Borgioni != Borgiolini
saulbellow
+0 -0
I think it's just Onstad's Scandinavian way of putting down Italians ... "Hey, not only do I just make up italian names out of thin air, but I can't even be bothered to think of ones that sound different from each other."
White-on-white racism is the best kind.
I think it's just Onstad's Scandinavian way of putting down Italians ... "Hey, not only do I just make up italian names out of thin air, but I can't even be bothered to think of ones that sound different from each other."
White-on-white racism is the best kind.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Coming out of your mug, this is . . . meaningless.
Coming out of your mug, this is . . . meaningless.
usversusthem
+0 -0
I'm surprised no one has commented yet on the humour of "These girls pay to work here." It's quite a gem of a line.
I'm surprised no one has commented yet on the humour of "These girls pay to work here." It's quite a gem of a line.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I think strippers actually do pay for performance time at a club, unless they're a feature act or something.
As my grandfather always said, any job where you have to pay to start is no job you want to get into. Cutco knives, stripping, hair-dressing...
I think strippers actually do pay for performance time at a club, unless they're a feature act or something.
As my grandfather always said, any job where you have to pay to start is no job you want to get into. Cutco knives, stripping, hair-dressing...
aperson
+0 -0
Sheesh, those knives.
Sheesh, those knives.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
These knives?
These are some of their knives.
These knives?
These are some of their knives.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Look what you did aperson. Are you proud?
Look what you did aperson. Are you proud?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
These knives that I... boned?
... with knives?!
These knives that I... boned?
... with knives?!
sje46
+0 -0
Again, what is boning?
Again, what is boning?
farqussus
+0 -0
Once again, I think you're serious. How did you get here?
Once again, I think you're serious. How did you get here?
sje46
+0 -0
I mistyped "Ashwood", a university I was planning on going to.
My mommy said that it's the perfect school for me.
I mistyped "Ashwood", a university I was planning on going to.
My mommy said that it's the perfect school for me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Boning is the process of removing the bones from an animal that you plan to eat. It is most often done with fish, though the skilled can bone chickens, beef, and even you mother.
Boning is the process of removing the bones from an animal that you plan to eat. It is most often done with fish, though the skilled can bone chickens, beef, and even you mother.
sje46
+0 -0
And them rolling them around until they get soft?
And them rolling them around until they get soft?
wozzeck
+0 -0
It's usually something like $50 per night. The house also gets a share of VIP rooms and such. Still, a clever girl in the right club can make more in one night of drinking and flirting than many people earn in a week of drudgery.
It's usually something like $50 per night. The house also gets a share of VIP rooms and such. Still, a clever girl in the right club can make more in one night of drinking and flirting than many people earn in a week of drudgery.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Hm. Much as I hate being uninformed, I guess it's nice that there are still areas of life my brain is more or less clean of. Thanks for schooling me politely, though.
Hm. Much as I hate being uninformed, I guess it's nice that there are still areas of life my brain is more or less clean of. Thanks for schooling me politely, though.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Assetbar?
Assetbar, I'm a prostitute.
Assetbar?
Assetbar, I'm a prostitute.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Echidnaboy: I am but a fool in the house of pain, of which you are the master. Had I read further prior to posting the above, I would not have bothered.
Counting my chubby, you have 200 for your effort, and I predict more to come! While completely derivative, your work has the distinction of being co-written and drawn by Onstad, and better then any other "guest artist" piece to date. IT SHOULD BE RUN AS A REGULAR FEATURE! I sit in awe and wonder, fully aware that this single moment of brilliance has exceeded my entire Assetbar career.
I am not worthy! I am not worthy!
Echidnaboy: I am but a fool in the house of pain, of which you are the master. Had I read further prior to posting the above, I would not have bothered.
Counting my chubby, you have 200 for your effort, and I predict more to come! While completely derivative, your work has the distinction of being co-written and drawn by Onstad, and better then any other "guest artist" piece to date. IT SHOULD BE RUN AS A REGULAR FEATURE! I sit in awe and wonder, fully aware that this single moment of brilliance has exceeded my entire Assetbar career.
I am not worthy! I am not worthy!
echidnaboy
+5 -0
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Sorry Chat, I've no idea how that got there... must have dozed off for a minute... and... what's this? Seems to be something scrawled on my monitor... in... is that blood? I think it says... "GARMONBOZIA" ?
Sorry Chat, I've no idea how that got there... must have dozed off for a minute... and... what's this? Seems to be something scrawled on my monitor... in... is that blood? I think it says... "GARMONBOZIA" ?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Yes, master. (Sure it's not really tasteless lipstick? I'm just saying...)
But it really was derivative and original at the same time, which is why it "felt" Achewoodian.
Yes, master. (Sure it's not really tasteless lipstick? I'm just saying...)
But it really was derivative and original at the same time, which is why it "felt" Achewoodian.
rowboat
+0 -0
Um, if you're about done lechat, could I get back to blowing echidnaboy now? I was here first.
Thanks.
Um, if you're about done lechat, could I get back to blowing echidnaboy now? I was here first.
Thanks.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Man, he gets all the perks!
Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
Man, he gets all the perks!
Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
Oh crap. Connie's gonna fall in love with a stripper.
THIS CANNOT END WELL.
Oh crap. Connie's gonna fall in love with a stripper.
THIS CANNOT END WELL.
sprayette
+0 -0
I just love this story arc. One of the most heartwarming of all of Achewood.
I just love this story arc. One of the most heartwarming of all of Achewood.
Oh man that is mega-nasty
That is dog feces
Nasty? But she's a stranger to the tides of birth and grief == hella hot! Or something. Yeah, she's got a nasty case of the crack ho, doesn't she.
Please consult this before commenting further on the girls:
Or Borgioni's -- the manual is very similar...
Sir, may I inquire as to the significance of the crab?
I should think that would be obvious. It is a strip club.
Strip clubs serve seafood?
Please explain this to me. I don't understand.
Not deliberately, but via buffet or no, crabs you shall have.
Just hit 'em with a special shampoo.
But *before* Frylock irradiates your bonch with the grow ray.
(This also applies to pogo's post below)
Yes, I understand that the sexually-flagrant often have crabs. What I don't understand is why it's the book's representational picture, when it is a book about decorum. Crabs have little to do with decorum, regardless of location.
Maybe you're reading a little too much into an amusing image on Assbar?
Yeah, sorry I didn't reply before - I thought you were being sarcastic.
I agree that it doesn't make sense, but the other O'Reilly-style images at my disposal were a rabbit and maybe a horse. You don't go to war with the army you want ...
Wow, I didn't even realize that this was a joke about STDs. What I meant was...Well, about Charlotte NC strip clubs...the thing is...
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Toast, mercuri0us, aHatOfPig)
Oh, man, that is a terrible poster. Terrible pictures, terrible layout. Teodor could do better in 5 minutes with photoshop and Lyle in a wig. That drunk couple and the girl with her tongue out just exude class.
Am I the only one worried about the seafood? THAT IS NO PLACE FOR SEAFOOD
It's a place for seafood if it's in uniform. Even then, I imagine it's the sort of place where no one expects it to present itself on a plate.
?
NO
Hubba hubba!
Dude, you can't be a furry and a Troy McClure. Stop it right now
I'd hit it
(Did someone say "fish"?)
This is a picture of you, isn't it?
I recognize you.
I AM BUSTED FOR BEING A FISH ON THE INTERNET.
is this spongebob?
I'D TAP THAT
For a Mens club, there are a lot of Women.
In the case of protocol (such as for Internet usage and computer programming), they have an animal of some sort on the front that describes the process they use. That's just a very basic definition; I'm not a person who knows the Internet.
Quote:
Picture them really, really small and crawling around in your pubic hair. It's an old affliction that was called, "the crabs." Funny story, a girlfriend and I went to Mexico, she came back with crabs, but I didn't. What's the moral of that story?
That your girlfriend was a cheating skank?
Yup, her snatch went somewhere I didn't. Oh well, she later went on to own a nice art gallery.
Was it called The Cheating Skank
Because I think that would be a good name for an art gallery
Or a men's club
For reasons of sponsorship, it was called the Rockefeller Skank.
don't drink the water
A) Wash the sheets.
B) Have such filthy pubes that even the crabs will avoid them.
Huge slam on Pogo out of... Mexico?
They were magical realism crabs.
I got this. The moral is that Pogo shaves his junk. With a straight razor, no soap. He does this three times a day in broad daylight.
He can't have any of that six-o'-clock shadow.
Don't buy a merkin out of a taco truck?
I started to wonder what a magical realism merkin would do, and then I thought better of it. Now I will spend the whole weekend trying to forget that you mentioned it.
Wait, wait...
Didn't Protocol Decorum sing "Whiter Shade of Pale"?
I was going to say Procol Harum just now, but a bit of ham in the back of my head boxed my ears and said "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuh."
And yet you said it, davey-boy. And yet you said it.
It must have been while you were kissing me.
harEm
NO
NO
That is... disturbing. I don't know what the lipstick was for, since she doesn't have lips. Unless she was going to use it to draw pupils on her eyeballs.
She is a female Teadore.
They have a saying in Wasilla. What's the difference between a stripper and an alive stuffed bear?
Lipstick.
Just like that time when Teador dreamt about the advertising executive, whom he tried to impress by taking off his snout to reveal a lipsticked mouth underneath, only to be scolded by Ray.
Now if anyone attempts to do a nice little Photoshop, detailing the connection between the two occurrences, the impact of the joke will be ruined. I'm feeling a little cruel today, but not quite "baby-kicking" cruel yet.
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO
Somebody 'bout to get maaaad chubbies .
[IT IS YOU]
*echo*
maaaad chubbies
ubbies...
ubbies...
ubbies...
This is the finest piece of abstract art I've ever seen.
ChubbychubbychubbyChubbychubbychubbyChubbychubbychubby....man that is some excellent shit right there.
You are the GirlTalk of this forum.
All getting naked and just munching down on white hearts while he furiously splices some bangin' achewood
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GMM, BillyLK, Jeet)
Except no.
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GMM, BillyLK, shadeofblue)
What the fuck did you expect? The musicians to actually be there?!
There isn't alot you can do when you are a mash up DJ.
I expected, you know, maybe some instruments, or maybe some decks and a mixer, or maybe for him to get up from behind his laptop, or maybe for there to be some incredible light show, or fucking something . Anything .
OK, but his music still sounds good, so I don't know what your problem is. Fuck you.
That's like going to a live show and they play the CD. In fact that is exactly what it was like. It was like he stuck an album into his macbook and spent the rest of the set on Facebook. "Girl Talk is totally pllaying Field Day in Sydney, omgz~!"
I guess when you said "GirlTalk is awful" you might have meant that GirlTalk, as a person , is awful for screwing you out of your ticket price. I just don't see how a shitty live show would change your evaluation of his recorded music.
It took me a while to remember who girl talk was.
I had to go to Wikipedia and then I remember that he came to my school last year.
...and Putin does not like GirlTalk.
I'm considering making a second account so that I can chubby you twice for that
I'm gonna come out and say this is the best fan-made strip of all time, and you should know I don't say such things lightly. Edwell's Gladi8orrex retrospective was a masterpiece, but this has the advantages of being self-contained rather than contextual to assetbar, and the structure is just perfect. Well done, sir, well done.
This needs to be asked - is someone collecting all of these things, so that they can be perused and remembered without the staggering task of going through every comic's comments one by one?
Yeah, I missed the Gladi8orrex retrospective and this saddens me.
Anyone mind pointing out where this retrospective might be found?
This?
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuacMt6D5#comment_313
Nah, it was way before that.
Now I want to know too.
I believe it's on the very first strip.
Collecting all this? Are you mad?
He is extremely angry.
It is the angriest I can be, to ask this.
Most sites have a fan art link. Maybe we all need to chant ONSTAD ONSTAD ONSTAD at the same time and ask him to create us a space.
Kind of like a Betalgeuse thing? Where if you say his name three times, he will appear and regail you with needlessly charming instructions for 'perfect oven fries, every time'?
Davey, the charm is integral to the instructions. As it is integral to Onstad. If you have not availed yourself of the Achewood Cookbook, you will be charmed, whether you like it or not.
I wish I could simply say Achewood three times, while banging my heels together perhaps, and be there . I don't know yet what animal I'd be, since Achewood seems to exclude dogs.
I would probably be a rooster, or a gun. Also the cookbook is awesome, how to enjoy wine may be the best thing I have ever read.
Nah, you need to do it in front of a mirror. One ONSTAD for every comic.
I'm going to attempt to collect these things now. I've got the things on this page, the Manflesh Criterion Library post sje linked to, and shmorky's flash animation. Some time in the (hopefully near) future I will go through edwell/hamscout/docrostov's comments and get pretty much all the images they ever posted. (I know echidnaboy posted that awesome, awesome thing above, but I don't seem to recall him doing much photoshop buggery otherwise.) Some time in the midst or after this, I will upload everything somewhere and have it be known . Or I could give up partway through. We'll see.
If anyone's got suggestions (on who and what else to include, etc.), I'd like to hear them.
You have injured me. Injured me, sir. How dare you.
There you go, that's all my best stuff. Edwell and Doc_Rostov's respective comment histories and Hamscout's photobucket are veritable treasure troves of lovingly Photoshopped buggery. Happy hunting!
Oh fuck yes I just made BBCode my bitch
>bugger that bbcode
Speccer and echidnaboy- Thanks for the honorable mention, amongst my respected peers!
Regarding my Bucket, most of my 'Buggeries were dated to match the corresponding strip (or just after it). There are a couple older images higher in the hierarchy that were not dated. And (*sniff*) my first post/photo buggery !
My pictorial banalities can be found near crummy boobs, cats refusing to Accept that they cried, and two dollar bill origami.
Other people may have done more than echidnaboy, but no one has ever matched that single effort. I really don't mean to gush, but there just aren't enough chubbies in the world for this Fakewood.
It transcends chubbies, people. It accomplishes what no fan art here has ever come close to: it is a 5 . It is fived SO hard!
I think the collection will need some editing. I mean it's fine to browse through some buckets now and then, but let's put our best efforts forward. Can't someone start a website?
This is so good you can have my sister.
Go ahead; take her.
If echidnaboy doesn't want her, I'll take her.
Does she have all her own teeth? Good child-bearing hips? Throw in a mule and we'll talk.
Anyway thanks for all the comments and chuppies guys but the thing is I don't actually know how this got here; in fact it is hella mysterious
I mean I wake up this morning feeling like I ain't even been to sleep, I log on and find my Assetbar account all covered in eldritch sigils , a smoldering crater on my hard drive where Photoshop used to be
Look in the mirror and see the words "Let's Rock" written backwards in lipstick across my chest
John G. whipped and buggered my photoshop.
You are sleepwalking. There is a computer before you.
> Open computer.
Photoshop is running on the computer.
> Bugger that Photoshop.
You are echidnaboy.
For awhile I debated getting all the same tattoos as the guy in Memento. Eventually I realized that it was a silly idea... now I just want all the same tattoos as Tupac
If I were a photoshopping type this is where i would put a picture of Philippe with a slightly modified iteration of Tupac's most prominent ink: HUG LIFE. Crested and in old school script. Marvelous.
Man why don't you come up with your own tattoos instead of trying to bite everybody else's style tryna be all hard did you ever think that maybe if you would just Do You then you could surpass the greats you worship so dicksuckily? You got to Be The Beast and your every move would be the new tradition, every phrase you speak could be surrounded by quotation marks and followed by a dash and your name and placed on the facebook profile of a drunken college jock with delusions of intellectualism So rise above and make your mark, take your time and lay your larks 'cause there is no room in this world for Beta males just shuffling through the day trying to take up as little space as possible.
It's not about changing the world. It's about doing our best to leave the world the way it is. It's about respecting the will of others and believing in your own.
Mmm. The joke was that getting all the same tattoos as Tupac is also a silly idea, and not much of a step up in aim.
And for meddle,
Their penises look strange.
And here I thought they were bike handlebars.
That's going to look so strange when she gets pregnant.
Practice reminder tats using a Sharpie.
Chubbies, for sure, but what's that last frame? Some kind fo steam engine? Signfiying what?
That's the Achewood generator. Tsk tsk. Please hand in your pass at the front desk when leaving.
Achewood machine . The generator is another thing entirely.
The Achewood Machine that Generates Achewood. (Sorry for setting you wrong, Pogo)
It also goes "Ping!"
Tekende. Tekende, I am an ignoramus.
Even if that were true why would you admit that in public?
It's the most expensive machine.
never since the arrival of the Era Of Edwell has a picture gotten so many chubbies.
that is totally awesome.
...In The Year Of Our Lord
When I chubbied this, it came back with 200 chubbies! That's more than I have recieved ever ! Well earned, and well played!
Epic. This is going to give me nightmares but THEY WILL BE WORTH IT
Nicely done! You get a 5.
I'm not one to say "this deserves way more chubbies," but, well.
This deserves way more chubbies.
It's a profound combination of digital craftsmanship, masterfully applied, if absurd humour and the utter stuff of nightmares. It made me chuckle out loud, which is no small feat; but you, echidnaboy, you made it. You gave us this.
God bless indeed.
Or Leander.
it's for... um... stripper stage makeup.
not on the face.
I think it was Gertrude Stein who said "Lips are Lips are Lips".
Look at how pleased Roast Beef and Ray are in the second panel.
They are just havin' a time of it.
Just hold on to yer cue and shoot straight - the world will be yours my son.
That's Ray's mischievous-inner-thoughts face.