If you appreciate Achewood, please support Chris Onstad (shop; gallery art.)
Zine 4 outtake Tuesday, January 23, 2007 • read strip Viewing 69 comments:

Does it seem odd to anybody that Beef would refer to himself as "a rude bag of chilies and pistols"?

I think it was established at the Great Outdoor Fight beyond a shadow of a doubt that Roast Beef is, despite appearances, indeed a rude bag of chilies and pistols.

no one skips mousakka night.

You'd BETTER be hanging from a garage wall about to be stabbed by the internet.

I think it's because he's talking to Molly

A comment left by hexjumper was marked as spam and excluded. hexjumper: What a douche. (reported by mistlethrush, Magb, Arcibi)

Oh, man, can somebody delete that?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

I'm sorry. I've just been kind of half-lookig at your avatar all this time, and thinking it was a rabbit, and just now I looked at it too hard and it was just... Shit...

Your comment is the only reason I now realize that that is NOT a rabbit.

not a rabbit at ALL.

whoa, blew my mind.

you people wouldn't survive one day in Australia

NOBODY survives a day in Australia. Spiders you could kill and carve in the manner of a chicken aren't the sort of thing man was supposed to co-exist with.

Or trees that try to kill you. (Not joking, the drop-bears? That was to stop tourists from camping under gum trees, which like to drop heavy branches on people.)
Our hearts are full of love and we laugh a lot because that is the only way we can cope with how almost everything in this country is trying to kill us.

A comment left by thommy_h was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, Overmedicated, gothfae, Circadin, motts)

there WAS a 'Q' in the time molly was supposedly alive! The Welsh got rid of it in 1892 in a bid to make their language even more ridiculous.

I like how asherdan had a totally legit point here and he still got lamed out of existence.

I like how you didn't reply to Asherdan's comment when saying this. Eh?

Cer i grafu.

Dw i'n caru'r ffaith mae Achewood fans yn siarad ymron pob iaith.

Rydw i'n gwneud gorchudd tebot

[IMGS OFF]

Mae hyn yn hyfryd.

Couldn't exist unless it was named by some ignorant Saes*.


* = English person.

the person who owns the ship is probably not welsh, inspector doofie. just because some welsh people were on their, doesnt mean hes got to name it in their language.

In hindsight, I can't even see a Q anywhere in it. What is this comment chain all about anyway?

A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeyramoney, Sargasm, littlefatdog)

i like that picture of beef and molly.

How could Molly have listened to Bill Cosby a lot when she was younger (see blog), if she was from seventeenth-century Wales?

She was in hell for awhile and heard him there. Bing Crosby was let out for awhile in the early 20th century but went back after he died.

Bing Crosby? Eh?

hahaha, I find jackparsons' confusion to be one of my favorite things on assetbar

One of my favorites is Achilleselbow going into a rant against retardo, which mostly started because achilleselbow misread a single word in retardo's post.

It's about halfway down the page

Oh man, yeah, that was classic.

I wonder if he's ever gone back to the comment. As of now, he's never apologized or retracted. It would be the decent thing to do.

Thanks fineoak for linking to that amazing diatribe on Cher vs Chef. Assetbar traps dumb commentary forever for us to poke with sticks and for that I am grateful.

Wait, Molly is from...
History!

A comment left by earendil was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, divot, Overmedicated, gouldgonewild)

Larger version will prevent eyestrain leading to hysterical blindness

Thank you!

THANK YOU

fucking, too late thanks.

Molly forgot to mention Jeff Lynne, the oft-forgotten Wilbury. Also, the ugliest circle of men could not possibly include such as George Harrison.

That's funny, she gets it wrong just there, speaking to Beef [or Chris miswrote it], Jeff Lynne who she leaves out is the fourth brunette, and Tom Petty is the blonde. And George Harrison is a striking looking dude, noted.

No, she correctly identified Petty as the blond. If you look real close, you will not that the punctuation after Tom Petty is a period, because it is the answer to the question. The other Wilburys that she lists are separated by commas because they are part of her incomplete list of brown-haired Wilburys.

And here I posted the larger version of this myself...Yeesh, I am two Wilburys short of a road trip.

But, since I am back on the subject of Wilburys, I think, on reflection, that the Jeff Lynne's curly-headed gob exactly cancels out George Harrison's fine cheekbones, so Beef ends up being right when you solve for ugliness.

"two wilburys short of a road trip" is one of the greatest things ever. you come up with that, or is it already a thing?

I've never heard it anywhere else, though according to Google a guy used the phrase ""two wilburys short of a suitcase" in a not quite humorous blog post about a Wilburys reunion.

Early Beatlesmania george is hard to look at. He looked bettr after his hair grew out.

True that, but it should also be noted that pre-Beatlemania Hamburg-era George is damn fine.

Maybe I would note that, but seeing how I am a hetero male and I haven't seen pictures of him from that era, I will politely decline.

People won't forget Jeff Lynne when Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr have both died and Lynne releases a "new" Beatles track with none of them appearing on it, just him coughing a little and humming Electric Light Orchestra tunes.

*click*

*cough cough*

(thumping noises)

"hmm hmm, mr. blue sky, why'd you have to hide away for so long [falsetto] so long something something blue sky..."

*throat clearing*

(A couple more thumping noises, followed by a couple of twangs like a guitar is being tuned)

"Ah shit is this thing on"

*click*

Awww, they are a match made in heaven.

Molly is wonderful for Beef and all but she can be a little bit of a bitch. Is there maybe a tiny piece of her that likes feeling superior to RB?

... She was dead for several hundred years and then came back to life. She also invented those aluminium pants* .
How can she be anything but superior?


* = Pants by English definition; not what crazy yanks use the word for.

I dunno, being a girl maybe I have a different slant on how Molly acts. I just see it how when she has a problem with something she just comes out and says it instead of brooding and saying everything is fine. That does look a little bitchy though I guess.

this is why it is not cool to be a girl.

woah, BURN

OH MAN IT HURTS, why did you go there? Why? I will be depressed for days, nay, WEEKS.

That question is so easy.

i want to petition for reprints in larger type for strips like this one

check TTAGXAMM's comment above.

"And you actually started yelling and got on kind of a high horse about it?"

I'm not sure if it's the sentence itself or the way I'm picturing Beef actually doing it, but that is friggin' hilarious.

It's the "kind of" that does it for me. I don't know why.

is there a way to get the big version of this because im having a hard time reading it

Check TTAGXAMM's comment above.

Today's Blogs

Teodor: Whole Foods Attitude girl
Philippe: Whoah! Saw a dog today!

Hey Teodor, that strategy totally works !

Jesus, no chubbies yet! What the fuck is wrong with...

...

oh. oh damn. I caught up to you. (almost)

I am now considering putting my archive crawl on hold while you finish your work.

"He was mostly just happy to see me and I have to say the same about him!"

Oh, Philippe. How you make me smile.

That is one tiny kite.

stupid onstad and his stupid made-up achewood slang! i styarted referring to women that i care for(not necesarily in a romantic fashion...) as "miss lady". im turning into epicurus! someone help me!!!!!!!! [[weeps bitterly]]