dracer2
+4 -0
I personally would not pay more for a socially aware potato.
I personally would not pay more for a socially aware potato.
lordpretzel
+1 -0
Definitely not from People magazine. I can imagine well enough what Hollywood's hottest stars look like wearing sunglasses and baseball caps, no need to show me, magazine.
Definitely not from People magazine. I can imagine well enough what Hollywood's hottest stars look like wearing sunglasses and baseball caps, no need to show me, magazine.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
You could try Mother Jones , but then your potatoes would be out torching McD's.
You could try Mother Jones , but then your potatoes would be out torching McD's.
smilebuddha
+4 -0
An open and shut case of infryacide.
An open and shut case of infryacide.
philophobe
+10 -0
They will call themselves Les Pommes de Terreur .
They will call themselves Les Pommes de Terreur .
smilebuddha
+2 -0
Just as it's not Les Pommes de Terrine , 'cause then they'll know they're cooked.
Just as it's not Les Pommes de Terrine , 'cause then they'll know they're cooked.
duperando
+6 -0
I think it would be cool if Ray had the helicopter blare things that he personally thought of:
[IMGS OFF]
I think it would be cool if Ray had the helicopter blare things that he personally thought of:
[IMGS OFF]
smallblackdog
+0 -0
You would earn it's respect for that gesture.
You would earn it's respect for that gesture.
fresco
+0 -1
IF AT FIRST STERN
*flip fold fold*
YOU EARN THE DOG'S RESPECT
IF AT FIRST STERN
*flip fold fold*
YOU EARN THE DOG'S RESPECT
spectre
+0 -0
For potatoes that are 'socially aware' because they have been exposed to PEOPLE MAGAZINE, I will pay LESS.
My starches must achieve social awareness by browsing Gawker.
For potatoes that are 'socially aware' because they have been exposed to PEOPLE MAGAZINE, I will pay LESS.
My starches must achieve social awareness by browsing Gawker.
deus
+0 -0
Would PETA i wonder?
Would PETA i wonder?
deacon_lowdown
+3 -0
Ray did not get mad rutty after this phone call.
Ray did not get mad rutty after this phone call.
gormster
+7 -0
Ray is not wearing his phone jacket!
Ray is not wearing his phone jacket!
duck
+16 -0
The call was poorly thought out.
The call was poorly thought out.
scorpio_nadir
+4 -0
Any call to Pat is poorly thought out.
Does a Bear crap in the woods?
Whoah, whoah, whoah. That's not crapping in the woods , there are very strict rules.
Any call to Pat is poorly thought out.
Does a Bear crap in the woods?
Whoah, whoah, whoah. That's not crapping in the woods , there are very strict rules.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Pat is a man (cat) who would regulate how, when, and where bear-crap turns into woods-soil.
Think on this.
Pat is a man (cat) who would regulate how, when, and where bear-crap turns into woods-soil.
Think on this.
cracklewater
+1 -0
If I knew his number, I would call Pat several times per week to tell him that he's a free-standing asshole.
"Nuh-uh, mister!"
Oooh, I wanna hit him with a fictional wrench, sometimes.
If I knew his number, I would call Pat several times per week to tell him that he's a free-standing asshole.
"Nuh-uh, mister!"
Oooh, I wanna hit him with a fictional wrench, sometimes.
lordparadise
+0 -0
WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION I WILL CALL YOU ON THE TELEPHONE
THAT WILL BE NEVER
WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION I WILL CALL YOU ON THE TELEPHONE
THAT WILL BE NEVER
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I think the gardening element takes precedence over any phone garb.
I think the gardening element takes precedence over any phone garb.
cracklewater
+42 -0
But his compost is about to get mad rotty.
But his compost is about to get mad rotty.
cyberia
+2 -0
This comment isn't getting nearly enough love.
This comment isn't getting nearly enough love.
dybrar
+0 -0
This pun treads the line between ingenuity and awfulness with the same impressive dedication that has put men on the moon in the past.
That said, I couldn't help myself and chubbied it anyway.
This pun treads the line between ingenuity and awfulness with the same impressive dedication that has put men on the moon in the past.
That said, I couldn't help myself and chubbied it anyway.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
prove it.
prove it.
mystkmanat
+6 -0
Now any tomatoes grown in that soil will taste like affronted dignity.
Now any tomatoes grown in that soil will taste like affronted dignity.
greenkoolayd
+3 -0
the right to use that variety of tomato is owned exclusively by dennys.
the right to use that variety of tomato is owned exclusively by dennys.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
You actually have to shout at basil while you plant it, otherwise it won't grow.
You might think I'm trying some sort of surreal riff here, but I'm not. It's 100 percent true. Basil won't grow if you don't shout at it.
You actually have to shout at basil while you plant it, otherwise it won't grow.
You might think I'm trying some sort of surreal riff here, but I'm not. It's 100 percent true. Basil won't grow if you don't shout at it.
soup_alex
+0 -0
I have tried growing basil in the past, and it has always died on me in its infancy. I now believe this to be because I did not shout at it.
I have tried growing basil in the past, and it has always died on me in its infancy. I now believe this to be because I did not shout at it.
aperson
+4 -0
Oh Ray, you know a tuber got no sense of current events.
Oh Ray, you know a tuber got no sense of current events.
mawk
+4 -0
what of YouTube?
what of YouTube?
wazza
+1 -0
I'd put a potato ahead of your average youtuber
I'm sure there's a pun on eyes here, though
I'd put a potato ahead of your average youtuber
I'm sure there's a pun on eyes here, though
mawk
+2 -0
nonsense. if there's one thing that keeps a dude in touch with his world, it's a kid with a hairflip and a digitally altered chipmunk voice acting as if the camera is his best buddy and they're both buzzed on Strongbow.
nonsense. if there's one thing that keeps a dude in touch with his world, it's a kid with a hairflip and a digitally altered chipmunk voice acting as if the camera is his best buddy and they're both buzzed on Strongbow.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
YouTuber! What news from the Compost Bin?
YouTuber! What news from the Compost Bin?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The nachos have almost a hundred views!
The nachos have almost a hundred views!
johnnymalo
+0 -0
Love how happy Ray is in the last panel. Aaah.
Love how happy Ray is in the last panel. Aaah.
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
Pat and Beef both really know when to call something asinine. It's a good word
Pat and Beef both really know when to call something asinine. It's a good word
mawk
+0 -0
sometimes I spell it with an extra S in my head, as if they are an ass too. I like to keep my negative sentiments efficient.
sometimes I spell it with an extra S in my head, as if they are an ass too. I like to keep my negative sentiments efficient.
hamscout
+10 -0
an ass in nine saves time!
an ass in nine saves time!
morypcaina
+0 -0
for the basketball team
for the basketball team
usversusthem
+1 -0
No that's nine in an ass, mory.
No that's nine in an ass, mory.
snuffysmith
+0 -0
Pat's ratio: one ass in nine is divine
Pat's ratio: one ass in nine is divine
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It is an honest, workingman's word.
Ass-9. Cologne for Men.
It is an honest, workingman's word.
Ass-9. Cologne for Men.
mawk
+5 -0
the strength of nine asses. the subtlety of one.
the strength of nine asses. the subtlety of one.
nice-on-water
+7 -0
Jamie Foxx rises from the table, drops a hundred dollar bill. He strides with purpose to the gorgeous brunette waitress, grabs her by the waist like Cary Grant would've, spins her, just once, gives her a deep, fourteen second kiss, maybe fifteen. Guides her to his yacht, hitched to a stretch Escalade limo, waiting at the curb. He climbs in aft, pulls her up over starboard as the limo peels out. He plops a captain's hat on her head, turns to us, and speaks in the most confident whisper ever forced from impassioned lungs:
Forever ass. Ass-9.
Jamie Foxx rises from the table, drops a hundred dollar bill. He strides with purpose to the gorgeous brunette waitress, grabs her by the waist like Cary Grant would've, spins her, just once, gives her a deep, fourteen second kiss, maybe fifteen. Guides her to his yacht, hitched to a stretch Escalade limo, waiting at the curb. He climbs in aft, pulls her up over starboard as the limo peels out. He plops a captain's hat on her head, turns to us, and speaks in the most confident whisper ever forced from impassioned lungs:
Forever ass. Ass-9.
ryder-p-moses
+7 -0
I closed my eyes.
There was a sound like that of the gentle closing of a portal as big as the sky, the great toilet lid of heaven being closed softly.
It was a grand AH-WHOOM.
I opened my eyes%u2014and all the sea was ass-nine.
The moist green earth was a hairy pink pearl.
I closed my eyes.
There was a sound like that of the gentle closing of a portal as big as the sky, the great toilet lid of heaven being closed softly.
It was a grand AH-WHOOM.
I opened my eyes%u2014and all the sea was ass-nine.
The moist green earth was a hairy pink pearl.
spectre
+0 -1
Too bad I dropped in a little Ice-9.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The FREESTANDING ASSHOLE that lamed you must not have ever read a certain pretty good book by a certain pretty good author. See the cat? See the cradle?
The FREESTANDING ASSHOLE that lamed you must not have ever read a certain pretty good book by a certain pretty good author. See the cat? See the cradle?
roast_beef
+0 -0
And the little boy blue, and the man in the moon.
When you comin' home, dad?
And the little boy blue, and the man in the moon.
When you comin' home, dad?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Getting warmer.
Getting warmer.
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
Not the oceans!
Not the oceans!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Full of bowling balls...
Full of bowling balls...
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
A wonderfulhe died recently too author.
A wonderful
mr-siegal
+0 -0
He was one of my fave's but suddenly his stuff seemed to have a sameness about it and I never got around to the cradle. I'll have to go back to him now I'm in my second childhood and everything seems new again.
He was one of my fave's but suddenly his stuff seemed to have a sameness about it and I never got around to the cradle. I'll have to go back to him now I'm in my second childhood and everything seems new again.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Please do.
Please do.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
you too, eh?
you too, eh?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I have to agree, and I've actually, oddly, talked about it extensively here, a lot of his sci-fi stuff is a bit blah because he can't decide whether he's doing a satire or sci-fi. I was more eloquent but it was like months ago, and can't be ARSED as they say to find it plus it's 4:30am here.
I have to agree, and I've actually, oddly, talked about it extensively here, a lot of his sci-fi stuff is a bit blah because he can't decide whether he's doing a satire or sci-fi. I was more eloquent but it was like months ago, and can't be ARSED as they say to find it plus it's 4:30am here.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
May I nitpick? He died in 2007. Sorry it's just because I remember us talking about it in AP Lit/Comp, which was the best class ever ever ever. But yes wonderful, one of my favorites (my "fave-fave" as the young girls say is Jerry Salinger RIP).
May I nitpick? He died in 2007. Sorry it's just because I remember us talking about it in AP Lit/Comp, which was the best class ever ever ever. But yes wonderful, one of my favorites (my "fave-fave" as the young girls say is Jerry Salinger RIP).
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
No, you may not nitpick. 2007 is still recent where I sit, sonny.
No, you may not nitpick. 2007 is still recent where I sit, sonny.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I humbly retract. I just meant, in relation to Salinger dying 3 days ago, 2007 is not very recent. But alright.
I humbly retract. I just meant, in relation to Salinger dying 3 days ago, 2007 is not very recent. But alright.
ariamaki
+0 -0
I am just in awe of the fact that this entire conversation is made by rather dapper black-and-white men in avatar-icons. And here I come to screw it up.
Cradle was golden, to be relevant.
I am just in awe of the fact that this entire conversation is made by rather dapper black-and-white men in avatar-icons. And here I come to screw it up.
Cradle was golden, to be relevant.
chubbychecker
+1 -0
Copter? Really? Can't use solar-powered ground-based eco-cycled multi-purpose speaker-posts (sGEMS)?
Copter? Really? Can't use solar-powered ground-based eco-cycled multi-purpose speaker-posts (sGEMS)?
omegatron
+0 -0
Why can't I rate strips anymore?
Why can't I rate strips anymore?
faits
+16 -0
your opinions were so bad it made the news
your opinions were so bad it made the news
mercuri0us
+1 -0
Yeah, seriously. Me too. Please, what's the deal?
Yeah, seriously. Me too. Please, what's the deal?
biznart
+0 -0
My inability to rate strips seemed to coincide with my switch to Chrome for all my browsing. I figured the two were related. Maybe not?
My inability to rate strips seemed to coincide with my switch to Chrome for all my browsing. I figured the two were related. Maybe not?
spectre
+0 -0
I've always used Firefox, but I can't rate, either.
I've always used Firefox, but I can't rate, either.
lateadopter
+0 -0
It is probably due to AssetBar's response to aiu's constant hacking/revealing-security-holes-as-public-service.
It is probably due to AssetBar's response to aiu's constant hacking/revealing-security-holes-as-public-service.
omegatron
+0 -0
Well, is this a universal problem, or does it just affect certain peepz?
I tried changing my user agent, but it didn't change anything. In Firefox's Error Console, I see:
Well, is this a universal problem, or does it just affect certain peepz?
I tried changing my user agent, but it didn't change anything. In Firefox's Error Console, I see:
phooky
+11 -0
Three weeks, three square feet, three dozen soggy nacho chips. Christ, it's the Great Outdoor Heap. He's even got the fence.
Three weeks, three square feet, three dozen soggy nacho chips. Christ, it's the Great Outdoor Heap. He's even got the fence.
dybrar
+1 -0
Now he only needs some tiny toy jeeps. It would be old school!
Now he only needs some tiny toy jeeps. It would be old school!
lordparadise
+0 -0
Why is it wet?
Why is it wet?
capslock_annliv
+2 -0
Because of a problem?
Because of a problem?
nullzero
+0 -0
I don't know if I'm the only one, but today's comic possesses a very Red Meat/Max Cannon tone to it.
I don't know if I'm the only one, but today's comic possesses a very Red Meat/Max Cannon tone to it.
jeffspaulding
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
sir, that is the shit.
sir, that is the shit.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If Ray had reacted that way I'd be about as satisfied.
If Ray had reacted that way I'd be about as satisfied.
tsrts13
+0 -0
i was really hoping that lijlson-greaves and tanoku were real composting techniques.
i was really hoping that lijlson-greaves and tanoku were real composting techniques.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I've never quite got over the non-existence of gravity sensible skitter-carts.
I've never quite got over the non-existence of gravity sensible skitter-carts.
jetbunny
+1 -0
Me too. That was my most disappointing Google search ever. It was like being tied down and watching my dad get beat up.
Me too. That was my most disappointing Google search ever. It was like being tied down and watching my dad get beat up.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Better than being tied down and watching your dad get beat off.
Better than being tied down and watching your dad get beat off.
spazdor
+0 -0
Better?
...or WORSE?
Better?
...or WORSE?
aristagoras
+10 -0
Classic Achewood. The third row was perfecto, as [you] say in [your home country].
Here's hoping it doesn't become a massive story arc where Roast Beef's "venting tapes" get played and cause a famine that only Ray's Dad can stop by traveling back to the wheneverth century and teaming up with Molly's Dad who both then lecture an angsty Teodor that talking to one's plants is like wooing a woman when you'd expect Ray's Dad to just yell Iowa back into spring.
That is all.
Classic Achewood. The third row was perfecto, as [you] say in [your home country].
Here's hoping it doesn't become a massive story arc where Roast Beef's "venting tapes" get played and cause a famine that only Ray's Dad can stop by traveling back to the wheneverth century and teaming up with Molly's Dad who both then lecture an angsty Teodor that talking to one's plants is like wooing a woman when you'd expect Ray's Dad to just yell Iowa back into spring.
That is all.
plummet
+0 -0
Oh god, Onstand will read this and then everything you said will come true
What have you DONE?
Oh god, Onstand will read this and then everything you said will come true
What have you DONE?
wazza
+1 -0
HE DID WHAT HE HAD TO DO
HE DID WHAT HE HAD TO DO
plummet
+0 -0
I was right.....
...dear god, I was right.....
I was right.....
...dear god, I was right.....
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Well, would you look at that, now he's gone and made it a story arc, just to spite you. Are you proud of what you've done?
Well, would you look at that, now he's gone and made it a story arc, just to spite you. Are you proud of what you've done?
plummet
+0 -0
oooooooooooh
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
oooooooooooh
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
mawk
+0 -0
so, Assetbar, help me out here: what is a proper way to compost? I'm assuming food in a little chickenwire cage is not the best way to do things, but neither me or my dirt can guess at what would be better.
so, Assetbar, help me out here: what is a proper way to compost? I'm assuming food in a little chickenwire cage is not the best way to do things, but neither me or my dirt can guess at what would be better.
breastman
+0 -0
Crap in your hand. Fling it. Done.
Crap in your hand. Fling it. Done.
mawk
+0 -0
the problem with that is that I have never seen a chimpanzee sipping Starbucks over a MacBook.
the problem with that is that I have never seen a chimpanzee sipping Starbucks over a MacBook.
wazza
+6 -0
of course not. Chimpanzees have common sense.
of course not. Chimpanzees have common sense.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Too aggressive, that's more of a metrosexual/bonobo thing to do.
Too aggressive, that's more of a metrosexual/bonobo thing to do.
wingspan
+2 -0
You forgot the part where you tell your neighbors about your caged food-dirt and how it makes you better than them.
You forgot the part where you tell your neighbors about your caged food-dirt and how it makes you better than them.
mawk
+0 -0
sounds more like I'd be calling about how afraid I was it might escape.
sounds more like I'd be calling about how afraid I was it might escape.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Don't be talking about your dirt-can on assetbar, man.
Don't be talking about your dirt-can on assetbar, man.
wtfoxnews
+3 -0
Pardon the serious post, folks, but here goes: Any way really works. It's organic material; it will rot. If you want it fast, use equal parts "green" (vegetable and fruit scraps, grass clippings, green leaves, manure) to equal parts "brown" (hay, straw, dried leaves, things like this). Make the pile 3ft by 3ft by 3ft, add water to dampen but don't soak, and turn the pile. Depending on how fast you want the compost to break down, turn the pile every day or every other day. Highly active piles will get up to 130 degrees Farenheit and will kill most weed seeds and nematodes.
I personally prefer sheet mulching my scraps because it blocks out weeds and breaks down on site. Great if you are lazy.
Pardon the serious post, folks, but here goes: Any way really works. It's organic material; it will rot. If you want it fast, use equal parts "green" (vegetable and fruit scraps, grass clippings, green leaves, manure) to equal parts "brown" (hay, straw, dried leaves, things like this). Make the pile 3ft by 3ft by 3ft, add water to dampen but don't soak, and turn the pile. Depending on how fast you want the compost to break down, turn the pile every day or every other day. Highly active piles will get up to 130 degrees Farenheit and will kill most weed seeds and nematodes.
I personally prefer sheet mulching my scraps because it blocks out weeds and breaks down on site. Great if you are lazy.
geekthras
+0 -0
I sense a return to former glory :D
I sense a return to former glory :D
tekende
+0 -0
"Freestanding asshole" is entering my personal lexicon of insults right now.
"Freestanding asshole" is entering my personal lexicon of insults right now.
morypcaina
+3 -0
what about
load-bearing asshole
what about
load-bearing asshole
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Cantilever asshole.
Cantilever asshole.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
My asshole stopped bearing loads when I went vegetarian.
{oh god i'm so sorry)
My asshole stopped bearing loads when I went vegetarian.
{oh god i'm so sorry)
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I always look forward to your posts. This one really packed a punch.
I always look forward to your posts. This one really packed a punch.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
To think that assholes like Pat once had neighbors, but they sent him to freely stand in all of his self-important glory:
[IMGS OFF]
To think that assholes like Pat once had neighbors, but they sent him to freely stand in all of his self-important glory:
[IMGS OFF]
cracklewater
+0 -0
Wow. Assuming this is real, do you know where it is or why the one building was preserved?
Wow. Assuming this is real, do you know where it is or why the one building was preserved?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I saw this somewhere with a caption saying it was in China, and it was because the owner of the house didn't want to sell their land to the company that bought all the land around it. And being that this was on the Internet, it must be true.
I saw this somewhere with a caption saying it was in China, and it was because the owner of the house didn't want to sell their land to the company that bought all the land around it. And being that this was on the Internet, it must be true.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
The Chinese version of *Batteries Not Included. Except it ends with all the people in the building starving or falling to their deaths.
The Chinese version of *Batteries Not Included. Except it ends with all the people in the building starving or falling to their deaths.
tekende
+0 -0
That doesn't sound like something that would be allowed to happen in China.
That doesn't sound like something that would be allowed to happen in China.
lateadopter
+0 -0
"Freestanding asshole" immediately sent me back to one particular evening of my grad school days, walking along one night with some friends, one of whom bore the ancestral name of his family's overlords from long ago. (It was tradition; one male in every generation had to bear that name out of gratitude to their overlords for freeing them from serfdom.) He was telling some cautionary tale about watching out for lone roving psychos, when up walked another one of our classmates. So he said, "Speaking of Rachel, here she is!"
(Hey, The Foofus, do you read this thing?)
"Freestanding asshole" immediately sent me back to one particular evening of my grad school days, walking along one night with some friends, one of whom bore the ancestral name of his family's overlords from long ago. (It was tradition; one male in every generation had to bear that name out of gratitude to their overlords for freeing them from serfdom.) He was telling some cautionary tale about watching out for lone roving psychos, when up walked another one of our classmates. So he said, "Speaking of Rachel, here she is!"
(Hey, The Foofus, do you read this thing?)
thefoofus
+0 -0
Nope.
Nope.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Some assholes will at least recognize they are standing on the shoulders of giants.
Pat's assholery is completely unprecedented.
He is a freestanding asshole.
Some assholes will at least recognize they are standing on the shoulders of giants.
Pat's assholery is completely unprecedented.
He is a freestanding asshole.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
Pat is a Green Dick. Pat is a Cucumber?
Pat is a Green Dick. Pat is a Cucumber?
professorriffs
+0 -0
Now that's some quality Ray Smuckles.
Now that's some quality Ray Smuckles.
daidai
+0 -0
I would buy socially aware potatoes. If you say you would not, then you are a liar and will be punished.
I would buy socially aware potatoes. If you say you would not, then you are a liar and will be punished.
mockereo
+0 -0
especially frightening when that threat is coming from nice pete.
especially frightening when that threat is coming from nice pete.
teezee
+0 -0
Do you think that it is bad for potatoes to be socially aware
Or do you agree that it is ok
Do you think that it is bad for potatoes to be socially aware
Or do you agree that it is ok
miku224
+1 -0
Panel 8 is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Do you think "worm in a yarn hat" is a TMBG shout-out?
Panel 8 is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Do you think "worm in a yarn hat" is a TMBG shout-out?
miku224
+1 -0
Intense research (read: five seconds on youtube) leads me to concede that I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
Intense research (read: five seconds on youtube) leads me to concede that I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
wingspan
+1 -0
My life gets better when you post comments. I have, in the past, searched assetbar for a comment from you just so I can click to your "recent comments" list and watch the dancing column of happiness.
My life gets better when you post comments. I have, in the past, searched assetbar for a comment from you just so I can click to your "recent comments" list and watch the dancing column of happiness.
smilebuddha
+13 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
faits
+0 -0
Thanks for dredging up that well of bizarreness from my childhood that is richard scarry. I haven't thought of that dude or his shoe-wearing-worm in basically forever.
Thanks for dredging up that well of bizarreness from my childhood that is richard scarry. I haven't thought of that dude or his shoe-wearing-worm in basically forever.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Oh god, flood of memories. I had like ten of those damn Golden Books with a hundred animals driving cars and trucks and there was a pig who always had rotten luck and was getting like ice cream on his best suit or something.
Oh god, flood of memories. I had like ten of those damn Golden Books with a hundred animals driving cars and trucks and there was a pig who always had rotten luck and was getting like ice cream on his best suit or something.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
J.D. Salinger Remembers
J.D. Salinger Remembers
falseprophet
+1 -0
The reason he was a recluse was that he one day woke up and read one of his old sentences and realized he was becoming Mickey Rooney.
The reason he was a recluse was that he one day woke up and read one of his old sentences and realized he was becoming Mickey Rooney.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Or Andy even.
Or Andy even.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Heavens ta murgatroid! Or ANDY ev-un! Exit, stage left!
Heavens ta murgatroid! Or ANDY ev-un! Exit, stage left!
falseprophet
+1 -0
Damn. You got me dead to rights pal. I totally meant to say Andy Rooney.
You ain't no phony, nice-on-water.
Damn. You got me dead to rights pal. I totally meant to say Andy Rooney.
You ain't no phony, nice-on-water.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
See, 'cause I ain't a phony, I'll level with you here, pal. I figured that's who you meant, but I also knew before "The Wrestler" I didn't know what the cultural idea of Mickey Rooney was. I now know he did drugs? There may have been a car accident? Anyone, I was 60-40 you meant Andy, and figured mentioning Andy could, even if I was wrong, add to yours. And I'd have to stop the kids from going off the cliff. I'd be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy.
See, 'cause I ain't a phony, I'll level with you here, pal. I figured that's who you meant, but I also knew before "The Wrestler" I didn't know what the cultural idea of Mickey Rooney was. I now know he did drugs? There may have been a car accident? Anyone, I was 60-40 you meant Andy, and figured mentioning Andy could, even if I was wrong, add to yours. And I'd have to stop the kids from going off the cliff. I'd be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
AnyWAY* SHIT
AnyWAY* SHIT
tucky
+0 -0
I am mulling over showing this to my vegan roommate and his sustainabilty major girlfriend.
I am mulling over showing this to my vegan roommate and his sustainabilty major girlfriend.
apolloin
+1 -0
Major Sustainability is a character in one of the new, socially aware, Army recruiting videos.
Major Sustainability is a character in one of the new, socially aware, Army recruiting videos.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Major Girlfriend, however, is not.
(Venture Bros. joke goes here)
Major Girlfriend, however, is not.
(Venture Bros. joke goes here)
wazza
+0 -0
all their girlfriends are minors?
all their girlfriends are minors?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
COMMODORE Sustainability. Consistency, people. Please.
COMMODORE Sustainability. Consistency, people. Please.
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
The sailing Elvis. Captain Elvis. COMMODORE Elvis.
(triple nautical whistle)
The sailing Elvis. Captain Elvis. COMMODORE Elvis.
(triple nautical whistle)
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
First Earth Battalion, Major Sustainability Reporting, SIR!
[IMGS OFF]
First Earth Battalion, Major Sustainability Reporting, SIR!
[IMGS OFF]
speccer
+0 -0
Sustainability stole Cassady's jacket.
Sustainability stole Cassady's jacket.
tekende
+3 -0
Wait wait, sustainability is a college major now?
Good god. What in hell is this world in which I exist
Wait wait, sustainability is a college major now?
Good god. What in hell is this world in which I exist
howl
+2 -0
I do not personally see a problem with this
I do not personally see a problem with this
sustainability
+1 -0
The accumulated filth of all their cheese and tortillas will foam up about their waists and all the gringos and IT professionals will look up and shout "Save us!" and I'll look down and whisper, "No."
The accumulated filth of all their cheese and tortillas will foam up about their waists and all the gringos and IT professionals will look up and shout "Save us!" and I'll look down and whisper, "No."
wozzeck
+0 -0
Glorious.
Glorious.
nicejames
+0 -0
things that rot all in the same area=compost LOOK IT UP PAT
things that rot all in the same area=compost LOOK IT UP PAT
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
i wonder why anyone even bothers talking to pat anymore.
i wonder why anyone even bothers talking to pat anymore.
dangelder
+1 -0
When he turns his back, you see .... the back of his head.
God.
When he turns his back, you see .... the back of his head.
God.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
such is life
such is life
mawk
+0 -0
eventually that pattern is going to become the famous Rorschach-blot portrait of Andre the Giant.
eventually that pattern is going to become the famous Rorschach-blot portrait of Andre the Giant.
drskradley
+0 -0
Come on LET ME RATE THIS GODDAMMIT I quite enjoyed this one.
Come on LET ME RATE THIS GODDAMMIT I quite enjoyed this one.
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
Pat's question is actually a trick. Both methods are inferior to the Lyvemrott technique, which Ray shows an unnatural propensity for.
Pat's question is actually a trick. Both methods are inferior to the Lyvemrott technique, which Ray shows an unnatural propensity for.
gorrioncita
+0 -0
This is really good. :) This is one of the best comics we have had in a while. Thanks, Onstad.
This is really good. :) This is one of the best comics we have had in a while. Thanks, Onstad.
gorrioncita
+0 -0
i just came back and read this strip again and i wanted to make sure that i had said back then how much i liked it. i still really like it!
i just came back and read this strip again and i wanted to make sure that i had said back then how much i liked it. i still really like it!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Aaaahhh. One of this quality every 9 days would be pretty damn good.
I was getting scared that ok_when_wet's mentioning of Salinger's demise had given the O scary ideas.
Aaaahhh. One of this quality every 9 days would be pretty damn good.
I was getting scared that ok_when_wet's mentioning of Salinger's demise had given the O scary ideas.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"Zooey" in verbatim 27-tier form...
"Zooey" in verbatim 27-tier form...
spaceshib
+0 -0
this one is good!
this one is good!
iskanderson
+0 -0
Oh my god, this strip is fantastic.
Oh my god, this strip is fantastic.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The world's assholiest freestanding asshole; it's quite an achievement.
The world's assholiest freestanding asshole; it's quite an achievement.
puguglypress
+0 -0
"Man, FUCK Jeff Goldblum."
"Man, FUCK Jeff Goldblum."
nice-on-water
+4 -0
Jeff Goldblum is always left happy. "Ah, uh uh YESS, yes, I-I-in deed I am, well, uh, very, uh, I'm [i]quite happy, right, uh, right about now...ah...I wouldn't change a thing about my, uh, my current condition, uh...uh, uh, for the world."
Jeff Goldblum is always left happy. "Ah, uh uh YESS, yes, I-I-in deed I am, well, uh, very, uh, I'm [i]quite happy, right, uh, right about now...ah...I wouldn't change a thing about my, uh, my current condition, uh...uh, uh, for the world."
tekende
+10 -0
If anyone could manage to convey broken BBCode tags in verbal speech, it would be Jeff Goldblum.
If anyone could manage to convey broken BBCode tags in verbal speech, it would be Jeff Goldblum.
whiggles
+0 -0
pretend i linked the goldblum clip from run ronnie run
pretend i linked the goldblum clip from run ronnie run
whiggles
+0 -0
youre good at pretending!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2bCO6tr7Zw
youre good at pretending!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2bCO6tr7Zw
invidious
+0 -0
I myself prefer the epic "Drunk Jeff Goldblum": nothing more than a real Apple ad played at half-speed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQmK1CnwOUI
I myself prefer the epic "Drunk Jeff Goldblum": nothing more than a real Apple ad played at half-speed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQmK1CnwOUI
nice-on-water
+0 -0
My favorite part of this was always how excited he is over e-mail. THERE'S AN E-MAIL PARTY GOING ON.
My favorite part of this was always how excited he is over e-mail. THERE'S AN E-MAIL PARTY GOING ON.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I screwed up. Big time.
I screwed up. Big time.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I want to fix this but I feel like the messed up one is much funnier than a fix one could ever be.
I want to fix this but I feel like the messed up one is much funnier than a fix one could ever be.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
hated-at dirt is up to 7 percent diluted by tears.
hated-at dirt is up to 7 percent diluted by tears.
ctrl_z
+0 -0
Ray, an idea man.
Ray, an idea man.
jetbunny
+0 -0
The back of Pat's head always alarms me when I see it. Its intricate devil-patterns herald the end of days.
The back of Pat's head always alarms me when I see it. Its intricate devil-patterns herald the end of days.
wazza
+0 -0
that's funny, because I always see a yarmulke there
anti-semite
that's funny, because I always see a yarmulke there
anti-semite
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
It is a Magical Realism signal that only other gay assholes can see.
[IMGS OFF]
It is a Magical Realism signal that only other gay assholes can see.
[IMGS OFF]
coldfrog
+0 -0
Ray may not understand the subtle nuances of arrogant overcompensating ecocentrics, but he's got the broad generalizations down pat.
Ray may not understand the subtle nuances of arrogant overcompensating ecocentrics, but he's got the broad generalizations down pat.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
quick! somebody start a special compost pile for sad dirt!
quick! somebody start a special compost pile for sad dirt!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ironically, though, nature's choosiest substance when it comes to having recently been other stuff is mud.
Ironically, though, nature's choosiest substance when it comes to having recently been other stuff is mud.
agentcimorene
+0 -0
This makes me so happy because I just added manure to my compost. And cheese is bad for compost Ray, add everything except for meat and dairy, fish is okay though.
This makes me so happy because I just added manure to my compost. And cheese is bad for compost Ray, add everything except for meat and dairy, fish is okay though.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh FUCK me it says "Continues" on the bottom. LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE ONSTAR.
Oh FUCK me it says "Continues" on the bottom. LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE ONSTAR.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You've already turned nice-on-water into theguitarhero CAN'T YOU SEE THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE
You've already turned nice-on-water into theguitarhero CAN'T YOU SEE THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Heh! Probably not, but maybe?
Heh! Probably not, but maybe?
lordparadise
+0 -0
This is Onstar. What's your emergency?
This is Onstar. What's your emergency?
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
korean chinese people eat cat dog
lol slopes. always be eatin' ah pets n wat not
lol slopes. always be eatin' ah pets n wat not
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
that should take care of the unwanted pet-animal population. also, i enjoy cat and broccoli.
that should take care of the unwanted pet-animal population. also, i enjoy cat and broccoli.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i like hot dogs and catchup does dat make me azn lol?
i like hot dogs and catchup does dat make me azn lol?
wazza
+2 -0
sorry 2 bother U but sum ppl said U hate Asians I hope that iz not Tru cause I got azn peeps
sorry 2 bother U but sum ppl said U hate Asians I hope that iz not Tru cause I got azn peeps
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
only if drinking grape soda makes me black.
only if drinking grape soda makes me black.
mawk
+5 -0
instantaneously, and accompanied by the power-up sound from Super Mario Brothers.
instantaneously, and accompanied by the power-up sound from Super Mario Brothers.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
how could they be brothers if they were of italian heritage? that ethnicity is included in 'white people'.
how could they be brothers if they were of italian heritage? that ethnicity is included in 'white people'.
pigeonthunk
+1 -1
That doesn't look like cheese and tortillas. Also, the compost pen has some pretty neat dimensionality.
That doesn't look like cheese and tortillas. Also, the compost pen has some pretty neat dimensionality.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
nice try cock sucker. lamed
nice try cock sucker. lamed
mawk
+0 -0
excellent words my chum. chubbied
excellent words my chum. chubbied
xi
+0 -0
I think this phone call was secretly a winner. Although Ray ended up frightening his poor baby dirt with the screaming, he has hurt Pat forever with his poor composting. Pat will always hear Ray's voice echoing in his head "I'm just like yoooooou." It is Pat's Saddest Thing.
I think this phone call was secretly a winner. Although Ray ended up frightening his poor baby dirt with the screaming, he has hurt Pat forever with his poor composting. Pat will always hear Ray's voice echoing in his head "I'm just like yoooooou." It is Pat's Saddest Thing.
catgrl131
+0 -0
I only eat the most socially-aware produce. I won't touch a potato unless it can tell me how to grow itself in an organic, socially conscious manner, and will scold me for doing it wrong.
Basically I will only eat potatoes that are Pat.
I only eat the most socially-aware produce. I won't touch a potato unless it can tell me how to grow itself in an organic, socially conscious manner, and will scold me for doing it wrong.
Basically I will only eat potatoes that are Pat.
wazza
+0 -0
would you eat Pat's rad chillies?
would you eat Pat's rad chillies?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I read that out of context and almost spit my Irn-Bru out, which would've been an improvement.
I read that out of context and almost spit my Irn-Bru out, which would've been an improvement.
wazza
+0 -0
Oh, come on...
It is a scottish drink made from iron ore. What is not to like?
Oh, come on...
It is a scottish drink made from iron ore. What is not to like?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Since this comment which I posted THREE. MONTHS. AGO. I've come to enjoy Irn Bru slightly?
Since this comment which I posted THREE. MONTHS. AGO. I've come to enjoy Irn Bru slightly?
jean-paul
+0 -0
I haven't even make it past panel 8 yet because I'm already so incapacitated by laughter.
I haven't even make it past panel 8 yet because I'm already so incapacitated by laughter.
justdan
+0 -0
You're back to the story-lines! I like. Great writing too.
You're back to the story-lines! I like. Great writing too.
deusoma
+0 -0
Gotta say, Ray's had a lot of stupid ideas over the years, but this one just might top them all.
Gotta say, Ray's had a lot of stupid ideas over the years, but this one just might top them all.
plummet
+0 -0
And the worst part is that Beef isn't here to tell his dogg to check his self afore he wrecks his self.
And the worst part is that Beef isn't here to tell his dogg to check his self afore he wrecks his self.
mr_november
+0 -0
Ray is blogging without his crown, what a fervor he must be in
Ray is blogging without his crown, what a fervor he must be in
soup_alex
+0 -0
I was under the impression that the crown indicated having recently gotten mad rutty?
I was under the impression that the crown indicated having recently gotten mad rutty?
carlyle
+0 -0
Wait, fuck, wait. That's Pat? Not his dad? Pat? The dick?
Jesus, I've got some caching up to do.
Wait, fuck, wait. That's Pat? Not his dad? Pat? The dick?
Jesus, I've got some caching up to do.
A comment left by genequagmire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, apocowarg, erk070, daidai, gladi8orrex, Hipjiverobot, Vice, flazisismuss, bigtom, Jetbunny, farqussus, varnish, Gumfish, MFrance, DougTheHead, litfanbreastman, meowmix, thebaddoctor, LordPretzel, d3athcann0n, luckypyjamas, shambles, ravindra108, desert_donkey, lateadopter, dracer2, LexSenthur, GunsOfRay, badlion, smilebuddha, campincarl, hardelicious, Panserbjorne, whymog, nickb285)
A comment left by genequagmire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, gladi8orrex, Jetbunny, jfen, LordPretzel, d3athcann0n, desert_donkey, dracer2, LexSenthur, badlion, Epicurus, hardelicious, nickb285)
Did she tell you you are asinine?
Because that is something you might want to know.
thank you to all those people that saved their lames for this guy. satirical/ironic first posts are especially lame.
A comment left by genequagmire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, Smallberries, gladi8orrex, Jetbunny, Ctrl_Z, Jar, desert_donkey, lateadopter, LexSenthur, ASaltySalute4, Panserbjorne, EvilSteve)
You have to save lames? As in, there is a limited number of lames like there is for chubbies? I have never experienced this. I must be too nice.
I lame anything that contains "lol".
i dare you lol
small berries, small heart.
You lie.
You are incapable of laming your own comment.
Where is the satire/irony? Someone help me
There it goe- shit! I lost it!
the irony is that one guy posted one irritating Frist Pots, which would have taken a single 'click' of the mousewheel to scroll past, but in our indignation we have exploded it into a Frist Thread which takes an entire couple of finger gestures to scroll past.
Confused? I mean dude it's all up in there, makin' funna the people who take composting to be all serious when it's really the business of making dirt.
None of you people have answered my question
I think it's unanswerable. Apart from the referencing of previous first posts there's little potential humour there. Certainly no obvious satire/irony.
that's a relief. i was worried my inability to see any was my own failing, not the asinine nature of the poster.
Deadpan is stupid.
Choleric? No, phlegmatic!
Come now; say what you will of Pat, but it takes some stones to straight-up call a dude asinine .
This reminds me of my GCSE Electronics teacher:
"I will not stand for your asinine behaviour."
God-damned legend.
A comment left by genequagmire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jetbunny, Ctrl_Z, lateadopter, LexSenthur, Epicurus)
There's no need to call her that .
While you should never be a dick to a stranger, being a dick to a stranger's wife is fair game.
Ah, I have filled that role many a time.
I see what you did there.... or do I?
"she could stand up freely inside the car; she was his wife; they are both gone now"
You're lame!
[poor man's lame]
Wait, do you really have a limited supply?
Sounds like a cool wife!
i am curious as to what bill frist's beliefs about the practice of composting are.
I will assume he's agin' it.
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER
...FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE,
MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY,
LIFE IS BUT A DREAM.
I feel like this could be inserted into certain portions of V for Vendetta (the comic, not the movie) and not feel out of place at all.
The movie itself is constantly out of place.
(Note: I have not seen the movie but I want to be friends with geeks)
SIMON! YOURS IS THE POST THAT WILL PIECE THE ASSETBAR!
Also, thanks to this post for making my scroll to the latest comments so much shorter.