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Touch of Grey. Thursday, February 28, 2008 • read strip Viewing 508 comments:

probably my new favorite strip. that vomiting triplet is SUBLIME.

A comment left by shenred was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by thomgreenwood, clever-nickname, tttt2, al_batross, LucidLoon, Dogbert579, troutman, morbo)

yeah, even as a man who digs the grateful dead I must give it up for that illustration.

i would rather get a vomiting triplet than a grateful dead cd,

now that i think about it a vomiting triplet would probably be the most ultimate gift ever.

As a man who once attempted to get into the Dead, I must do likewise. And I was even stoned at the time.

A comment left by qingofchina was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by vermy, caitskills, whymog)

No.

whoa, don't beef with free jazz.

Agreed. Coltrane's "Ascension" is pretty much a religious experience.

well, while I wouldn't necessarily call Coltrane's "Ascension" free jazz, I can see how it can be seen as that.

That implies free jazz musicians usually get paid.

A comment left by bixschmix was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by coogs, cathaoir, mrblank91, pulkbaby)

Actually I think it is just a lone eighth note.

I thought he was jamming them into his ears to prevent The Dead from getting in.

..it makes more sense your way.

the first two triplets are so happy, though. and then the third one had to rain on their parade by vomiting everywhere. or is it really a time lapse picture of the one note's devolution into projectile vomiting? i can't deide.

A comment left by professorhazard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcowgill, Hazelfo, kingsleymc, caitskills)

that sticker is the fast track to getting your car searched for weed every time you get pulled over. do not get that sticker

Spoilers ahead, scroll down to read:

*
*
*

I wasn't really going to get a dancing teddy bears sticker.

Despite myself I scrolled down to read.

Well played.

I know the matter's been defused already, but FYI: The police aren't allowed to perform a warrantless search without probable cause, and a sticker does not constitute probable cause.

Well, you be sure to tell that to the cop while he does whatever the fuck he wants to do because he's a cop.

And thats a chubby for you as i imagined it as you wrote it.

Exactly.

They don't really need probable cause if you're crossing the border from Canada. Canadian border guards are all "don't leave Canada without your free hug, brother" and the American ones are all "I CAN SMELL YOUR WEED FROM CANADA." Border guards are allowed to search your car or bum if they have suspicions.

The dancin' bears do not help.

Did Lyle get contacts?

naw i think he was running on a treadmill or something (note the sweaty pits and "water bottle")

that's achewater brotha!

A comment left by farqussus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sassacrass, troutman, lastlarf)

Oh crap man. This is the second time I have accidentaly lamed a comment, due to being wasted. I am sorry. There are circumstances that have led to me being this trashed, through necessity. I assure you.

your lame gave someone else the confidence to do the same. you've started an avalanche!

Are you trying to destroy the brain cells that contain memories of Grateful Dead songs?

I think those neurons were wrecked with pot smoke and LSD to begin with.

Gloriously so, it is a shame I have to sacrifice them in this way...

They are the opposite of malignant, which is boringnant. They cause the rest of the nervous system to give up and die.

nah, he's sweaty and gross pretty often. i don't think that's exercise sweat, per se.

Lyle's just too drunk to be able to tell the difference between wearing his glasses and not wearing them. This is a condition that many nearsighted people, myself included, will be familiar with.

He doesn't always wear glasses, just when he cares about seein' things--like porn.

Dear Grandmother,

SORRY ABOUT THIS BLARGH

X's and O's
Grandson

P.S. Don%u2019t forget to take your Medicine! It's Necessary.

A comment left by doc_rostov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HSE, Atmus, Zem, Comrade_Tom)

So you're saying you'd rather mail vomit to Assetbar than put up with this for one more second.

The angry Mr. Bear avatar really makes these.

Good show.

[IMGS OFF]

Does he have googly eyes on his ears, or what's the deal there?

Yes, Lyle glued them there while on an Achewater kick.

You probably already know this since that comment is a year old, but have a link: https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2fM9MX

36 chubbies in two days, and well-deserved too. That is a damn fine modification right there.

Thank you, Doctor House. I will keep in mind that when it comes to auto-immune diseases it is very rarely lupus.

It is never lupus.

i have lupus

how could you have lupus if its never lupus. LIAR.

The angry Mr. Bear's eyes look like stoned eighth notes colliding into one another at a Dead concert. Oops, sorry Dude- eh.

The Doctor has diagnosed Assetbar with herpes. Should we be worried? Perhaps we can get a second opinion from Dr. Skradley. I'd heard he's an OB-GYN in training.

The training isn't official.

And it's a doctorate in metaphysical meteorology, interestingly enough. I inherited it.

The only reason I have herpes is that I got it from your mom.

PS Bring Sven on, as you can see, I have a Big Knife.

Assetbar, I feel the need to tell you that you have become an urban legend. When a train crashes in the distance they will find a penny on the tracks and on that penny will be scrawled the name of Assetbar. When children look into shadows and feel something staring back, it is you staring back, Assetbar, for also shadows are one shadow to Assetbar and what happens in one happens in all. Where Assetbar stalks the corn dies and the sky is bruised and in the far distance towns know the thunder of his coming. When a women becomes heavy with child and feels the pangs of labor she must bury her first baby tooth in a pot of dirt and leave it by the window so that Assetbar will pass that house by and the child will be delivered safely and with no issue. It is Assetbar who slashed the ice cream's man tires. It is Assetbar who has seen the cold, chilly dawn. If you hear singing in the sewers in the midnight belly of the night, it is Assetbar, and his words are spoken with dead men's tongues.

It is Assetbar. Always Assetbar.

But, you know, no offense or anything.

OK, christ almighty. I know it's late and all, but really, why doesn't this have more chubbies? Come on!

PS that was me using jc's name in vain because I feel strongly about something, not because I really believe in anything.

I made a few typos. That's enough for more than a few lames. We gots out standards here, schmix.

You are an incredible writer. I always assume Assetbar posts are made within three-five minutes of their initial beginning, sometimes ten if they look really refined. This looks like some fifteen minute shit right here. This looks like effort . What we need more of is effort.

P.P.S. You are a toilet seat that smokes a cigar / forever that is what you are / a toilet seat that smokes a cigar. The End.

I actually think "Don%u2019t" goes perfectly with this strip

The Dead don't care about this. They would have been too busy harassing that lute. They cannot hear it protest, for they are too high.

Sometimes they are skeletons, which also impairs hearing.

I think that's a dulcimer.

No No, you were right it is a lute:

[IMGS OFF]

It's a mandolin, you damn fool.
Go on prove me wrong; tell me about fret ratio and medieval madrigals.

You will look silly.

I actually thought it was a laud:
[IMGS OFF]

That is actually a Child.

Yes but what is holding the Child

Must say I was a little confused with the avatars and thought you were replying to yourself for a second

I liked the exchange better that way. He was like a character from a Jim Henson film.

the child with the power

what power?

Bouzouki Power.

WILL YOU SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI UP!?

Now you're playing with power.

the power of the voodoo

Who do?

you do

Do what?

Voodoo.

Remind me of the babe.

Oh, god. Most cringe-worthy Bowie performance ever ever ever, on this or any other possible world.

Two words: "Tin" and "Machine."

A million times YES.

Although let's be fair: not EVERY Tin Machine song is horrible. "I Can't Read," "Baby Universal," "Baby Can Dance," and "Bus Stop" are actually pretty good.

i was confused as well, until i changed my avatar and ruined everything.

A comment left by sicsemper was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, odei, GrooveHolmes, caitskills, Audhumla, Aiglos)

A comment left by kingsleymc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, straw, shenred, the_voice, morelaak, Thorfinn, kylank, rockstarsatemy, gambolholic, Bourbonsamurai, Howard, DougTheHead, TSRTS13, dug, GrooveHolmes, PEZ, Setzkin, caitskills, Aiglos)

A comment left by kingsleymc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, AdrianMiller, Thorfinn, NeoNaoNeo, wittyname, HSE)

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk

JABBA JABBA

I search for bands who can perfect that meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk

Damn, just when I was gearing up for another cat cock strip

In an unexpected twist, it turns out that Pat and Rod were Teodor and Lyle all along!

In an alternate universe this was a Pat and Rod strip, with the exact same dialogue. There was cat cock in panels one and seven, with no explanation.

A true Achewood fan is ALWAYS gearing up for a cat cock strip.

Tomorrow's recipe: Chicken!

A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, snowman, treasureplane, synapse)

I guess I'm getting the rod, after all. If that was offensive to the Onstad-o-philes, you can relax, people. It was just a "stupid t-shirt" joke. On the other hand, maybe you took it as a stupid "t-shirt" joke. Fair enough.

I don't think anyone was offended. I think they just thought it wasn't funny.

I thought it was kinda funny, not really funny, but not lameable.

Oh well, better luck next time.

Thanks. It seems for many folks, when I'm not funny, I'm annoying. And I'm never funny.

I liked it. "Use a word that doesn't refer to a wang in a context where it does mean wang" type jokes always get me. I still have fond memories of the FFXI auto-translator.


But I like Friend of the Devil. :-(

Though it's true, the Grateful Dead is what happens when hundreds of people do acid. It isn't something we should support as a society.

Friend of the devil is a great song. It is the cocaine to touch of grey's marijuana in the grateful dead/gateway drug pantheon.

Then what does that make Uncle John's Band - my favorite song of theirs?

most songs off American Beauty are pretty fun.

Lyle types without glasses. He does not need them now. His rage is his focus.

To be honest, no oone needs to see a keyboard to type things so long as they know how to type. For instance, I typed this entire message with my eyes closed.

(Damn. Two 'o's on the one. But still! That's pretty decent!)

I couldn't help but giggle at the fact that your avatar is homestar and you are talking about a character typing with/without an accessory.

whoops, make that "homsar"

Whoa. For any HSR purists, that gaffe may not be forgivable. Myself? I would rather re-tool that sentence as Homsar would have actually said it:

"Lyle types without a melon-baller! He's donut-free now! AAAAaaaaAAAAaaaa! His mop handle sings Foriegner!

Man, if you're an HSR purist, it should be funny... Homsar only came into existence as a mistyping of Homestar. Mistyping Homsar as Homestar should thus kill him, once and for all. Requiescat in Pace.

Fair play to you, sir. Chubby.

Spot-on.

I dunno. Swapping in random nouns does not necessarily Homsar-ese make. What you have to do is take your ordinary sentences and rotate them ninety degrees along the sense axis. Like this:

"DuaaAAaaAAH! Flies in the sugar bowl, Monsignor! I've got the eye of the tiger! It's clovering time."

HA! Perfect.

However, swapping random nouns does in fact give you your mafia name. (Jimmy Phone Calls, anyone?)

Louie Melon-Baller. Tony Donut-Free. Frankie Mop Handle. Bobby Foreigner Songs. All fine and serviceable names.

The sound of eight confused men getting paid is somewhere between the sound of a parrot with a stroke speaking Russian and an elderly woman brushing her teeth into a megaphone.

Eight Confused Men (1957)


A dissenting juror in a murder trial slowly manages to convince the others that the case is not as obviously clear as it seemed in court.

The four remaining jurors think the dissenter is full of crock, and refuse to participate in the farce.

However, when a traveling diamond smuggler arrives in town, little do they realize that they will all become wrapped up in the wildest adventure of their lives, and learn a little about one another - and themselves - along the way. Nominated for four Academy Awards, winner of two.

"Gregory Peck, in a career making role ... presents a tour de force guaranteed not to disappoint!" - Life Magazine

It is rumored that Andre Bazin's essay on continuity editing in Eight Confused Men (published in the March 1958 Cahiers Du Cinema) inspired the jump cuts in Godard's A Bout de Souffle.

[IMGS OFF]

I just completely blew my Thursday.

When I go to heaven, this is the first movie I'm seeing.

They have a Blockbster in The Dreaming where Lucien will rent you any movie ever dreamed of but not made.

Chubbied because I just bought a shiny new Sandman book.

Nice, was just re-reading The Kindly Ones the other day for no specific reason at all.

Also see Ability Man and The Earl Grey Incident starring Orlando Bloom. I hear they're good.

I'm seeing Moonstruck with Cher and Nicholas Cage.

John Wayne looks like Rodney Dangerfield here. Kinda creepy.

A little Jack Lemon too for sure

I saw Rodney Dangerfield at first, but then I thought...no, defintely Lyndon B. Johnson.

Chubbied because I saw LBJ as well.

I hope this chubby is ample compesnation for the loss of an entire day.

And I did of course mean 'compensation'.

Nixon looks sort of like an elderly Moe from the Three Stooges here.

Actually, wouldn't this movie be great if all those actors behaved like Moe from the Three Stooges regardless of plot, for no particular reason whatsoever? I know I'd watch.

The work is Worthwhile. Chub'd.

Richard Nixon's in it! I loved that guy in Batman!

i loved that guy's presidency!

Really?

not from a party political stand point, but he's an absolutely fascinating figure, ending the war in vietnam, visiting Mao's china, the whole watergate palava. Beyond the whole "Lol hes the jowly guy whos in futurama" he's probably one of the most intriguing 20th century presidents (which is a tough call)

Plus when you ehar him swear on the watergate tapes its blooming hillarious.

*hear, I have the grammatical and typing competence of an amoeba with special needs.

So what you're saying is that you love his presidency in the sense that you find it entertaining, as opposed to the conventional sense of it being, like, you know, good for the country and stuff. At least I hope that's what you're saying.

Do you actually hope that that is what he is saying? ...He is old enough to vote.

Better that than genuinely admiring Nixon's presidency...

Exactly, and chubbied for your avatar.

Nevermind, apparently I've been too friendly :-(

I suppose entertaining would describe it, though i'd say it was more interesting than amusing. His presidency says a lot about america and it had huge repurcussions, would i have voted for the man though?

Probably not as i'm not too fond of republicans/tories/ostrogoths (whatever you call a right winger) but at the time he looked like he had a pretty good resume, former vice president, Distinguished naval record, a shrewd and well informed eye for foriegn affairs, and he was meant to be a pretty good poker player back in his day. it's easy to look back with hindsight and think "How the hell did they let that man in to run the country" but back then he probably seemed the best of a bad bunch.

You ever seen the movie Secret Honor ? You might want to check it out, if not. Philip Baker Hall as Nixon going crazy in an empty office for 90 minutes, monologuing on his life and America. Good stuff!

Nixon, in his first foray into the acting world, plays a grizzled and brooding career Poker champion.

(Peck plays a heroic journalist with no outstanding flaws. Eastwood plays an ex-marine school bus driver. Caine plays a reclusive master of origami. Presley plays a local motorcycle-riding vigilante-fireman. Wayne plays an outspoken pastor with a seemingly-insurmountable fear of dogs. Connery plays James Bond. Sir Ustinov plays a man with a mustache.)

The perfect culmination to an awesomely hilarious thread. Well done--ALL of you. I salute you.

.. There is no John Major. The United Kingdom is offended. You just got yourself a withdrawn ambassador.

John Major was occaisionally truthfull

Like when he refered to most of his cabinet as "Bastards" which to be fair they were... though maybe not for the reasons he gave.

haha

A comment left by boheeka was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Bourbonsamurai, GrooveHolmes, Aiglos)

there a few more than that. Hunter S Thompson, for one.

Shit, there are lizards on the floor.

I didn't mean that those were the only good things from the sixties. Those are just my favorites.

The sentence reads that that was exactly what you meant.

also, me.

And maybe The Beatles?

Good call. These days, they haven't been given the edgy status of Zappa and gonzo journalists, but it doesn't mean that they should be taken for granted.

Some more rad things from the 60's that haven't already been mentioned:
The Rolling Stones
The Bergman films, Through a Glass Darkly and Shame
The Civil Rights Act
JFK
"I Have a Dream"
Tab cola

Man now I want to re-read 1968: The Year That Rocked the World.

I'd take Winter Light over those two films, personally. And the Kinks over the Beatles and the Stones.

I completely agree with your band preference but I am usually hesitant to voice my opinion. Doing so usually results in some condescending lecture about how the Beatles are directly responsible for every last note and lyric of every good song written by any band anywhere in the last several decades.

I don't deny their talent but I think their influence is often greatly overstated and they wouldn't have been nearly as successful without a heaping dose of the right place/right time effect.

Which effect the Kinks sufferred an unfair lack of.

Kinks > Beatles has so been my mantra forever!!! OMG AcheWorld we are all so like soul sisters at the same tea party!!!1111 <3

Sorry for that last thing. Seeing that Kinks/Beatles comparison on the internet, typed by someone who was not me, made me go sort of valley-girly.

Totally.

This condescension you speak of irks me greatly as well, though I like the Beatles and the Kinks equally. I will wholly concede that they're both better than the Stones. Not that the Stones are BAD, persay; they're actually one of my favorite bands. But when it comes to sheer quality I always turn to Arthur before Let It Bleed. And perhaps before that I'd go for the White Album. Your point stands tall, though. The Beatles, grand as they are, have been highly overrated by their most zealous of fans.

Not that the hardcore Kinks fans aren't (as they most assuredly are) arrogant douchebags who overrate their band with aplomb, but as there are fewer Kinks fans their condescending tittering is easy to brush off. You can't really ignore the legions of Lennon, though; those glorious but nigh incoherent bastards sitting aloof as they constantly criticize everyone's taste in music and extol the virtues of "Oh Yoko" on a populace weary of their poppycock. No, I agree heartily. These fellows are of a base quality, and conspiring with them makes me feel like I need a shower.

I'd rather get a Star Wars tattoo than keep them as pen pals!

Whew! OK, doc. I think it may be time to give that Spongebath avatar a spin.

Bollocks. I like this avatar.

Perhaps in a few comics.

Man, nuts to the Lennon worshippers, I'm all about the George Harrison's tunes.

All Things Must Pass > Imagine.

BY MILES.

It would be condescension if I stated that the Kinks were better than the Beatles as a fact. But the tone of my post above is one more just of personal preference .

Oh, and Connie would know that the term is "per se," not "persay." That's just crass. Ciao.

Breaking from my persona for a minute: I wasn't referring to you with the Kinks line. You seem like a pretty cool dude! I was talking more about the fact that EVERY band has their obsessively crazy fans and the Kinks are no exception but because their fanbase is smaller the efficacy of their angry hordes is greatly lessened, and they're overall more agreeable because of it.

Sorry for any misunderstanding, Mr. Exemplary Oak Structure.

Don't forget the jazz. Coltrane, Mingus, Miles, Diz, Ornette Coleman, etc. All active in the '60's.

Miles Davis' best albums were before the 60's (Kind of Blue, Porgy and Bess, Round Midnight, the gerund albums) or barely in it (Sketches of Spain, Bitches' Brew). While Mingus had many great albums in the 60's (The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady, Mingus Mingus Mingus), his two best, Mingus Ah Um, and Blues and Roots were in the 50's. Coleman's best stuff was in the 60's and Diz had some good stuff there too, but all the rest of those I'd say are associated with either the 50's or 70's, mostly the former.

Now, Jazz in the 60's was Stan Getz, the above-mentioned Coleman, Chick Korea, Herbie Hancock, and Sun Ra.

Giant Steps and My Favorite Things. '60 and '61. That's all I have to say.

SUN RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

now you're talkin', brokeaccount.

[IMGS OFF]
"Ancient Spirits of Evil..."

Probably more likely to see that outfit at a George Clinton show, though.

Black Saint and the Sinner Lady IS Mingus's best album. You sir, are mistaken.

Other good things from the Sixties:

Astral Weeks
First three Velvet Underground albums
The Doors
Dr. Strangelove
2001: A Space Odyssey
The Crying of Lot 49

Agreed about Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. Though he himself has said Tijuana Moods was his best.

i wish i still had my hard copy of "black saint..." because i'm pretty sure the liner notes said something along those same lines (him considering it his best)...

White Light White Heat is all anyone ever needs to know about the 60's or drugs, and especially drugs in the 60's

Why is the crying of lot 49 so much better than gravity's rainbow? it is a genuine question.

gravity's is good, too. just harder to get into than crying.

Sun Ra died on my birthday.

As did Joan of Arc, Voltaire, Wilbur Wright, and Perry Ellis.

Fuck.


Oh dear. While attempting to append items to your list of jocularities, it seems Assetbar neglected to post my list. This is a new offense, Assetbar, and it will be noted and reciprocated harshly at a later date. Good thing I copied it before I posted it, just in case.

King Crimson
Eric Clapton, Cream, and the Yardbirds
Robert F. Kennedy
Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita
Tom Stoppard (ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD)
Slaughterhouse Five and Cat's Cradle
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
The Left Banke.

The 60s were a relatively jolly time to be alive, I would imagine.

The Master and Margarita... good call on that one. Though the version from the 60's was still heavily censored I hear. Also, is Andrew Lloyd Webber still doing a musical based on it? That scares me a bit.

WHA?!?!?!?! Please tell me that was a form of sarcasm that I can't perceive right now because I'm very tired. Otherwise, I might have a coronary.

Unfortunatley, no. As far as I can tell there hasn't been any news since he anounced it. https://www.playbill.com/news/article/101650.html

What about drug use? Also, having sex without the risk of AIDS.

Hey! By your description, it's like the '60s in my apartment! Every day! I use drugs and I have sex without the risk of AIDS, as the person I have sex with is not in possession of AIDS!

Peace out!

And Mike Gravel!

For once, Assetbar is awesome. Due to the comment layout, I read the following:

Quote:
Now, Jazz in the 60's was Stan Getz, the above-mentioned Coleman, Chick Korea, Herbie Hancock, and Sun Ra.

Quote:
And Mike Gravel!


This makes me smile.

I also noticed that and enjoyed it greatly.

Really? Every time I see Mike Gravel I make a face like I stepped in something.

Are you high, boheeka?
The Who, Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, Cream, CSNY, The Kinks, Janis Joplin, The Byrds, The Velvet Underground, and that's just what I could come up with off the top of my head in about two minutes.

Bowie was more 70s than 60s, though. The only stuff he released in the 60s (with the exception of the track "Space Oddity") was folksy pap that really wasn't very good. Bowie didn't even begin to hit his stride until 1971.

Bowie was a bit of a stretch, I'll agree, but he technically started in the 60s, so I left him on the list. I definitely agree that his best stuff was in the early 70s, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars is my favorite rock album of all time.

Wow, really? As good as that album is, I personally think he's done better. IMO, Diamond Dogs and "Heroes" are both better, as is Heathen (though that was 30 years later). Even The Man Who Sold the World has moments better than anything on Ziggy, although Ziggy is better on the whole.

Still, I salute you for good taste, sir.

Heathen? Better then Ziggy Stardust?

Really, Tekende?

I think so, yes. But it's not an entirely fair comparison--they're very different albums.

But are you really going to deny that tracks like "Slip Away," "Everyone Says Hi," "Heathen (The Rays)," and the cover of Pixies' "Cactus" are better than at least some of the songs on Ziggy ? I mean, yeah, there's some great songs on Ziggy . The title track, "Five Years," "Moonage Daydream," "Starman"...but there's also some stuff that's really not that great. "Hang on to Yourself" is passable, while the cover of "It Ain't Easy" is pretty bad.

This is getting too long. I'm not saying Heathen is, like, WAY better than Ziggy. But I think it's a little better. I will mention that Heathen took a very long time to grow on me, and Ziggy didn't. The latter is certainly more accessible.

However, Heathan didn't have any stunners on it. The good on Heathan is at least as good as the good on Ziggy, and the bad on Heathan is better than the (2 songs that are) bad on Ziggy. But the great of Heathan pales starkly in comparison to the great of Ziggy. The great on Heathan (forthwith, "Heathan (The Rays)," "Slow Burn," and "I Would Be Your Slave") combined aren't half of what "Ziggy Stardust" is, nevermind that the other greats ("Suffragette City," "Soul Love," "Star") are tremendous, not to mention more numerous than the ones on Heathan.

Look, I catch a lot of flak from other Bowie fans for including Heathan in his top ten (it's 10th, in my book), but it just isn't Ziggy.

There is nothing "pretty bad" or even just "passable" on Ziggy. It's among the most cohesive and well-conceived rock albums every committed to tape.

We will agree to disagree. Good day.

Whatever man. Ziggy Stardust isn't even a real person . I for one am tired of the fakery and the nonsense that goes on in the music "biz". Fie upon these uppity teens and their Good Dashboards what with their Charlotte Confessionals! Fie!

I skip "It Ain't Easy" almost every time I listen to Ziggy. But that's just me.

Yeah, me too. I find that to be somewhat of a consensus, actually.

ya'll some history nerds

His only 60's album worth any mention was Space Oddity. All of his best stuff came in the late 70's (Station to Station, The Berlin Trilogy), as far as I'm concerned.

Space oddity is a damn good album but ' stardust swings it for me with its inclusion of "Starman", what a song.

they should really just make Bowie king, it doesnt matter whether you "even like kings" it would be a good idea.

Agreed. I'd forgotten Station to Station earlier, but I think I might consider that my favorite Bowie album, although Heathen comes awfully close.

Space Oddity is really only worth mention for its title track.

Well, I don't know about only . "Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed" and "Janine" are decent tracks. But yeah, the rest of that album is pretty, ecgkh.

"Janine" is good, you're right. I discovered that a few weeks ago when it popped up on shuffle. I had somehow previously ignored it, but on that listen I was all tapping my hands on the steering wheel, nodding with the beat, all goin' "this is pretty cool."

I also like "Don't Sit Down," but it's pretty much a throwaway track, so I don't think it counts for much.

It's kind of like a proto-"Soul Love."


A comment left by slanger was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GrooveHolmes, sherbet, Aiglos)

as much as i love the dead, tapping one's foot to an incoming fax is too damn funny...

I hate them and I think tapping one's foot to an incoming fax is funny.

But Teodor, The Grateful Dead is silly! It is silly to like The Grateful Dead!

All this strip inspired me to do was put on my grateful dead albums and have a nice old time.
Oh yeah, me and the grateful dead, and a bottle of tanqueray, not caring what you think. Good times.

Tanqueray is for SQUARES, Man.

As anyone knows, Tanqueray is only acceptable at poolside. And I hope I don't have to remind you that The Grateful Dead are absolutely inappropriate for such a setting.

If you can't do the math, I'll tell you that you either need to turn off The Dead and get yourself to the pool or stay where you are and pick up that there bottle of Old Crow, The Official Beverage of Sitting by Yourself in a Dark Room Listening to Grateful Dead Albums.

Thank you for your compliance.

You know what I want to know? Who the FUCK is Tony Sinclair? Apparently he's some upper-class British socialite who likes swanning around in decadent parties that reek of Euro-glitz, flashing a smile with a gap in his teeth so big a bus could drive through the gap all honking and pulling a bunch of rusty bikes and on some of those bikes are overweight children too terrified to get off who are trying to dial the police one-handed.

According to the WikiGods, Tony is actually Rodney Mason, who is Some Dude from Philly. I am not sure why Some Dude from Philly needs to put on tweed and waistcoats, dress up like Eddie Steeples with a rod up his ass, and sneer at me about gin. Whatever his intentions, I do not trust them.

I do not trust you, Tony Sinclair, Some Guy from Philly. I do not.

Also, I understand that Mr. Peanut is not an actual dancing peanut but rather an assemblage of clever photography, cellulose and ink.

Does Mr. Peanut end every single commercial with "I'm Mr. Peanut," as though knowing this is a special, special privilege?

Sad, when you think about it.

I think it's a disclaimer for those with peanut allergies.

I gave that addendum to the rusty bikes line my last chubby for this strip. It was completely well-deserved. You have made me smile heartily, and I thank you for it.

Tony Sinclair is my hero, I want to be just like him. I first bought Tanqueray Rangpur solely because he endorsed it on TV. I now buy Tanqueray Rangpur because it is delicious, but it was Tony Sinclair who convinced me to buy it in the first place, and I thank him for that.

I like Tony Sinclair, but it, like my enjoyment of delicious, delicious Rangpur, is based largely on a practically nascent brand loyalty to Tanqueray in general. Although their vodka is simply awful.

Yeah, I don't have a problem with their product (thought I do think Tanq 10 is overpriced), it's just that they had to make up a fake celebrity to sell it, like he's some sort of modern day Truman Capote. I don't like Shaq telling me what sort of drain cleaner or hemorrhoid medicine to buy, but inventing a famous person seems way more irritating. When I first saw those ads I thought, "Oh, I guess he's a fashion designer? Or something?" But no. It's just a complete crock of shit.

I did appreciate it when they had Bruce Campbell try to get me to buy Old Spice.

You know who doesn't need a fake celebrity....Bombay Sapphire. That's the gin that sells its own damn self.

Bombay Sapphire is nice, but it also has really, really awesome commercials. They must have production budgets miles high. The last one I saw was of some lavish tent out in the desert, and when they opened the bottle everyone in the tent started floating around and dancing with streamers flying through the air...

That never happened to me when I drank Bombay, the most I did was fall down two successive flights of stairs, but the commercial is cool.

My two cents- Hendrick's and tonic with lime and cucumber. Had it for the first time last week and it blew my mind. So delicious, so subtle. Try it. Muddle the cucumber and lime first.

Actually, just the cucumber. The lime is almost an afterthought, a bit of tart to wake the palette. Don't even squeeze it, just drop it in there. But do muddle the cumber.

If I said all that while breathing heavily, it could be a really strange phone sex fetish.

"You have the cucumber? Is it big? Yeah. That's good."

Oh baby. Muddle that cucumber hard ... and get a little rind in there if you're feeling dirty.

Huh...sounds interesting.

Re: muddling a cucumber - exactly how does one do this? Just squash it a little with like the back of a spoon or similar?

Just bruise it to get the flavors into the drink, however that may be. Maybe break it up with your hands before garnishing? A tiny squirt of cucumber juice would be better, but you'd need a Jack Lalane number or a lack of other significant interests to do that.

I like Hendricks best straight and ice cold. Tonic interferes with it's incredible flavors, vermouth cancels out the flavor so a martini's out.

Given my interest in Gin, I'm going to have to look into this one. I've been a Bombay loyalist for ages, but it never hurts to try something different once in a while.

Well, I've been a Tanqueray loyalist forever -- it's in my blood (figuratively and literally!) -- but I have given every gin on the rack a thorough checking, by thorough I mean full dissemination of at least 3 bottles or a handle, whichever cheaper. And I do mean "every," even "Poland Spring Gin" and "Five O'Clock Gin."

FYI, Gilbey's is $15 a handle and is actually good enough to make a martini with. A shallow, uncomplicated martini, but a martini nonetheless.

I am going to agree with the Hendricks recommendation. It is awesome; subtle, powerful, fruity, spicy. Everything you want in a gin. It's one of my two favorite gins right now, with the Anchor Junipero. That is made on a hill in San Francisco, by the dudes that make Anchor Steam Beer. I am a huge fan of Anchor, because their rye whiskey (Old Potrero) is mind-blowing. Better, albeit in a totally different way, than most single malt scotches. Must be tried by anyone who likes whiskey.

But Hendricks is a major step up from Bombay. And I got started on gin by drinking Bombay, so I appreciate the stuff. Damn. I am going to go buy some Hendricks now since I seem to be running low on gin.

I liked the samurai warrior perfectly fashioning an ice cube. Bombay's astronomic ad budget is not even mentioning their lavish and widespread print ads.

Hendrick's is like getting a lap dance in your mouth.

In a good way.

If I go to buy gin these days, I almost always get Hendricks. You are never disappointed.

I have to have a variety of gin at hand for their myriad purposes and characters. I have a handle of Tanqueray for martinis, a bottle of Beefeater for Tonics and birc-a-brac, a bottle of Gibley's for miscellaneous mixing purposes (such as a G&T for when I'm too drunk to notice the difference between Beefeater and Gibley's), a bottle of Rangpur, and two bottles of Hendricks, one in the cabinet and one in the freezer.

GodDAMN I wish I had a chubby to give you for that first paragraph. I'm in tears here, all trying to laugh without making noise at work.

Kudos for use of "swan" as a verb. I like that.

Still enjoying the beverage and the band, still not caring.

I applaud your resolve.

T?odor's musical taste is grievously painful to me.

as someone who enjoys pretty much any terrible thing the 60s had to offer, even i vomit on sight when it comes to the grateful dead. joints all rolled up in his santa, wearin' just a poncho (a sears poncho) and a smile. ]:0( This strip though was pretty much worth the wait even though I was working with the Pat/Rod maybe cross-over.

hell of apt alt-text

Teodor's grandmother seems to be holding onto the very little bag of vomit.
Oh man Grateful Dead look what you have done you have strained a relationship between a disillusioned teddy bear and his grandmother.

This strip speaks nothing but pure frigging truth .

I'm really glad I'm blazed right now, because that made it about ten brazillion times better.

Which ten Brazilians are we talking about? I mean, if we're talking about Pele and Joao Gilberto, that's a lot of times better. If we are talking about some Amazonian piranha, that's an entirely different matter.

Gilberto Gil, the Minister of Culture, has been known to blaze it up with the best of them. So that's at least A Brazilian.

Also: Loneal, consider yourself stalked.

I feel scared, and...and tingly.

I tried to stalk you just now, but either you don't have a Facebook, or I suck at stalking. Does your last name start with a P?

Nay. An M. And the first letter is an F. Forget it. You'll see me. I'll be the guy with the T-shirt that says "I'm your internet stalker."

I would just like to point out that a single person wasted, like, all their lames on this little conversation of ours. Someone feels very strongly about Brazilians and stalking. Maybe they were confused and thought we were talking about Brazilian waxes and stockings, reprehensible tools of the patriarchy.

Purely for the anti patriarchal comment

Bra-zillllll...where hearts were entertained in spriiiiinnngg...

I will never hear that song again without being instantly reminded of her.
[IMGS OFF]
And it is well.

We need that guy with the screaming Phillipe avatar to scream at this.

Who/what is that?

It's Katherine Helmond in Brazil . Terry Gilliam's finest hour.

(I'm wondering that too but I didn't want to admit I don't know by asking.)

Watch this movie.

What he said.

I have seen it. That is why I quoted the song. It's just been a while, and I don't remember that woman being in it.

Watch this movie again.

Is this good enough, wittyname?

Maybe if you were screaming, but it's still no screaming Phillipe.

Renee Zelwiger?

Weger. DAMMIT. Weger.

DAMMIT WEGER YOU KNOW IT'S SPELLED WITH TWO L'S AND AN E

that song always makes me kind of sad.

comics about pop culture

Oh come on: the Dead are hardly 'pop culture' anymore. If they are, then trilobites are pop. I bet trilobites had some great tunes back in the preCambrian.

Trilobites!

CAVEmen...CAVEwomen...

TROGlodytessss...

A FIVE: a very palpable FIVE!

At least three things that had me rolling off my chair, tangling in mirth.

Welcome back Mr Onsted.

Is this true? The two drummers at once thing, I mean.

I don't know about that, but I have a feeling that such a thing would be a total mess in the Dead. Bands like The Fall and Swans pulled off the two drummers thing a decade and a half or so after Jerry and friends were en vogue, but those groups lend themselves to a full, lush sound, which is often more intense with the double-percussion. If the Grateful Dead had (or utilized more frequently) some chops, I could see them going amazing paces with those kinds of extra musicians...but they don't seem like a band that could pull it off, to me at least.

(If you're going to lame because I don't like the Dead, go ahead, but know that I was raised listening to them and have very valid reasons to dislike them. If you're offended, I'm sorry, but opinions do have a habit of causing distress, so.)

Chubbied for Swans love.

are we all seriously talking about Swans? I never expected to see this on Achewood but YES they are my favorite band guuuuuys!

We are talking about Swans, and now I'm going to listen to them.

I have never listened to Swans, although I've thought for a long time now that I should. Perhaps I will remedy this soon. Not now though. I'm at work with no recourse to find their music at the moment.

I have a friend who is just crazily into them. Whenever he tried to play them for me, I could never decide whether I wanted to fall asleep in the corner or beat my own face to a pulp. They seem like a band whom one must love or hate. I've never met a "casual" Swans fan, nor have I met anyone who hated them just a little bit. It's all or nothin'.

I'd say I'm a pretty casual Swans listener. Their first few albums are GOLD bust as soon as they stopped being all junkie'd out and pissed off I thought they went downhill. I blame Jarboe.

Wow, even I'm surprised we're talking about Swans...maybe next time I'll mention Boredoms or the Residents.

Well, I stand corrected. There you are. Out there. Existing.

I listened to a couple of Swans songs last night. Not enough to give me a really good impression, but I thought what I heard was pretty decent.

Let me know when that Boredoms conversation rolls around.

May as well get the ball rolling on this one - I fucking hate The Boredoms. Discuss.

I have a longsleeve Swans T-shirt that is just a frail webbing of half-digested textiles smeared with the memory of graphic design.

I still wear it though.

Little Feat had a drummer -- Richie Hayward. They also had a percussionist Sam Clayton. In most concert gigs, Clayton played the bongos or a tympani-type thing It has another name, but it looks like an orchestral tympani. Jazz band use it). Of course, there was some overlap between the Dead and the Feat. If the Dead had a horn section, they'd sound a lot like the Feat. And the original Feat-guy himself, Lowell George (RIP) produced for the Dead.

Technically, he never said that they used them both onstage at the same time. Maybe the two just would always seem to show up complementarily and the rest of the band didn't realize.

This is a good idea.

Your opinion is valid--I even think I agree--but I lamed you for the parenthetical disclaimer afterward. Sorry.

Understandable, it was poorly-considered and if I could delete it now I would. Thanks for the honesty.

yeah it is

The best thing about the two drummers in The Dead is that they played the exact same fucking thing at all times! And that was one of the least ridiculous things about them!

That kind of thing can be surprisingly hypnotic to watch, though. I've seen bands with two drummers (Tortoise, select Pavement songs live, the Motown superband from Standing in the Shadows of Motown ), often playing the same rhythm, or basically the same, and while it may seem musically pointless, it can be visually enticing.

I'm cool with this kind of thing if the drummers play totally different fills, or have a different approach to how they play the same rhythm. Might sound ridiculous, but the casualness/intensity/training of a drummer can change the hell out of the sound...compare Buddy Rich and Ed Shaughnessy in this drum battle. They play some similar bits but their approach to the instrument is totally different, particularly in their fills. It's damned fascinating, if I says so myself.

It can sound great. If you double-track a drum beat it sounds bigger, and if the drums play different things sometimes and then come together at other points... It sounds fucking excellent. A good example of this is the band Black Eyes who had two drummers, and on their first album especially it is insanely good to hear. One drummer mixed to the right channel, the other drummer mixed to the left. AWESOME.

Having two drummers really isn't that uncommon. Modest Mouse do it now, too. Though they kind of suck now. But that's not the point.

Didn't Rammstein have like twelve drummers at some point?

Not sure about that, but Boredoms had 77 drummers last year. Most notably, Andrew "Party" WK, and Brian Chippendale of Lightning Bolt fame. Search for 77boadrum on Youtube...there are some great examples of multi-drummer beats filling a space.

Speaking of Andrew W.K., I cannot wait for Lee "Scratch" Perry's next album, which AWK is producing. Doesn't sound like it would ever make sense but that is why it will be genius.

Oh, he's a genius producer. The albums he did back in the Michigan noise days are fucking ace, and that latest Sightings album sounded magnificent...production wise, at least. I couldn't stand most of the music on it, sadly.

I feel like AWK can bring back some of the roughness that made early Lee Perry great...imagine some of his newer dance-style numbers with the gritty, buried-in-a-weed-field feel of Super Ape.

Rammstien had 9 drummers.

They were called Dieter.

They were capable and performed their role with tutonic efficiency.

I'm pretty sure the Touch of Grey film clip features the two drummers.

With that last statement, Teodor may be on the verge of discovering Kraftwerk.

Yeah, "Europe Endless" is for sure a Thing on Teodor's iPod. and "Man Machine."

i once frightened a girlfriend into flight using only the music video for "we are the robots".

ah, youth.

Chubbied for the Jay Sherman avatar. And as for Touch of Grey, It Stinks!

I love how all mothers/grandmothers in Achewood look exactly the same. After you reach a cetain age, you have to get a pair of those snazzy glasses on a little chain round your neck.

It is not that they all look the same it is that the Mothers of Achewood enjoy cosplaying as The Golden Girls but whenever they get together, goddamn, why everybody always gotta be Sophia?

Note the lack of fathers in Achewood. The closest we've gotten is Philippe bellowing that he's met a man and Ramses, who's left in such a hard manner that he barely even counts.

Victory point - overeducation

We do know a little about Teodor's father

Which reminds me. If Teodor's parents come from Belarus, then shouldn't his grandmother also? She wouldn't have that kind of control over the English language, right?

Unless it's supposed to be translated - does Teodor speak Belarusian or Russian? Most of the children of immigrants that I know picked up the Russian language from their relatives. Have we ever seen him talk to Vlad?

I don't think he does; as that strip says, they came over before he was born, so he's a US lifer. Not saying he obviously couldn't have picked it up from his parents, but it's not like he grew up in the country or anything.

Also, as has been stated a few times (often by me), Vlad is most likely Polish (thought one time he is described just as "Slavic"), so even if T can speak Belorussian or Russian, he might not be able to converse with Vlad.

Holy shit did you know that this is a comic strip about animals (stuffed and non)?

I'm not going to bother looking this up, but it was implied that Phillipe's father died, and his mom was getting remarried.

Nevermind, I will bother.

https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7wsGt8

When it comes to Assetbar, everybody bothers.

You betta botha! Mmm hmm.

Dontchoo sass that Assetbar now. He gon' whup you bad like lass time.

Actually, we've seen Pats dad, Nice Pete has mentioned his, and Roast Beefs was shot to death by his mom. I can't think of any more

I must say I'm shocked this strip is currently so close to four, culture-reference-that-I'm-not-familiar-with or otherwise. Panel four made me laugh long and hard, and is one of the finest things I've seen in a great while. And I thought panels five and six would be a nice gentle descent and landing after that hopspot of hilarity, but they maintained the strip's momentum and kept me deeply amused to the last word.

I've been told that it's about the lifestyle and not the music. But I also believe deadheads are not to be trusted.

Apparently none of the songs they found on YouTube were from American Beauty.

I'm pretty lukewarm on most of the Dead's catalog, but American Beauty was an amazing album.

American Beauty and Working Man's Dead were both great albums, but, other than that, most of the Dead's music was mediocre at best

I was warmed by the blog entry that Chris put up and I'm glad he's feeling better.

You know, I had this weird notion that the strip would come back on Fuck you Friday with a big fuck you towards the flu, being loudly voiced by Phillipe but since it didn't, I figured I would just put this little seed here in hopes that Chris will read it.

I mean, you know how when someone tells you not to think about dinosaurs, all you can think about are dinosaurs?

Yeah. Like that, I guess. I'm rambling. Too much robotussin, must end assetbar post

yes, fuck the flu.
also fuck acute upper respiratory infections, which is what i've got.

it makes me lay in bed all day and stare at the blinds till i see stuff cause i'm not getting enought oxygen.

it also gives me a day off work.
but still.

Panel four is an accurate depiction of what it is like, trying to listen to the GD. Also, you can substitute plenty of modern Dead-inspired jam bands too, except instead of a lute, imagine a bongo drum or violin or some other instrument begging to not be overused by the members of Watermelon Follies or The Galactic Groove Experience whatever "wacky" name these sort of bands go by.

Hey,

The Grateful Dead might not be everyone's cup of tea. I can understand that. But to be so casually dismissive reeks of the kind of new-school value-projection that makes my skin crawl. Jerry and co. might have been a little repetitive, sure, but to focus on that is to ignore the groundbreaking developments they pioneered in studio recording (not to mention their status as, arguably, the "godfathers" of the entire late-eighties folk-metal movement). I think Robert Christgau put it best in his 1978 review of Marzipan Highway when he said "you gotta admire the chutzpah of these belly-dragging mandoliers -- they're at least willing to wear a smiley face as they put both fingers in the public eye (and one in the nose for the Nixon Network)."

i suppose they deserve props, sure, but is it really unfair to dislike a band whose music you don't like? i see what you're saying, but typically the actual sound and pattern of the notes they choose to play is the main, un-overlook-able part of liking or not liking a band, not how they made the sounds and sounds fit on a record so nicely.

Man dogg I thought you were totally joking about "late-eighties folk-metal," but apparently it is a thing .

I was holding out, but...

no one seems to have noticed that my entire comment was complete, unmitigated made up bullshit

Nice. Virtual chubby for that. It was all completely believable.

I thought Robert Christgau was a made-up name!

*slow clap of begrudging appreciation*

Does that mean it's not correct?

Joestork today you are my hero. In my defense, I am almost distressingly high.

hooray perfect grammarand bbcode.

goddammit.

You were hoping no one would see that because this comic was from February.

Your hope was for naught.

In college I had a college radio station where I played indie rock of music by bands whose lead singers sounded like they had tuberculosis and would take requests from callers. There was this one guy who would call in and when I picked up the phone it was this operator chick going "This call is from Hampshire County Medium-Security Prison. Would you like to take a call from: 'HEY MAN, PLAY GRATEFUL DEAD!!'" and I had to be like 'Damn but we ain't got no Grateful Dead up in here, sorry dude.'

So the whole year, he would call every once in a while, requesting Grateful Dead and I had to go on the air and say 'Sorry to the caller who asked for Dead, we ain't got none,' and I always wondered what kind of crimes you had to commit to get into a medium -security prison, and if that band he had chosen, 'Grateful Dead' was his way of crying out that he was looking forward to being executed for his crime. I ruminated on these ideas until finally, at the end of the school year, I decided to download a Grateful Dead song called "Ramble On Rose." I hoped the guy would call on my last show of the year but he didn't. I played it anyway and dedicated it to him and as I listened to it I realized a single truth of the universe, connecting all our wayward souls, all of us drifting in the ether, trying to find our original dongs but achieving minimal success, that one undeniable nugget of wisdom that was the cohesive force of the entire universe...

It was worst song. Played on ugliest guitar.

chubby. you tied it all together with precision.

society's troubled present, indie rock's most terribly glaring hinderence, and the fact that Dead songs suck. bravo, citizen.

FP, back on track with the new game plan. And the plan is Truth. Un petit gras por vous.

Chubby for the narrative heft. I really tried to like the Dead, but damn, not even getting high makes them listenable.

Hilarious!

Hmm. Maybe should have tried "Ripple."
...Naaah.

Lyle's lack of glasses must be a GD reference.
"Trouble with you is the trouble with me, got two good eyes but we still don't see."

Course, it's like Nostradamas, you can link a GD reference to nearly anything.

What nobody has said -- most Dead songs are OK or even great in the studio version. But the jams that their fans obsessively recorded in concert carrying 30 pounds of gear and trading tapes like mad in the back classified of Relix Magazine -- that @%@$# is boring to anyone not a Deadhead. That's the difference between a fan (like me) and a Deadhead -- do you collect and spazz out on all the stoned concert tapes. BTW, the Dead section on YouTube is nearly all old concert footage (AFAICT).

Any more palatable?
[IMGS OFF]
Hmm. Perhaps not...

Oh, yeah. I used an oud, rather than a lute or mandolin. I just like the word "oud."

Ugh, Deadheads. I have never understood the concept of making a type of music, let alone a single band, be your entire persona. I like techno but I never went around with glow sticks and pacifiers. I like hip hop but don't walk around greeting people with gang signs and blaring my radio at 1000 so people can hear my bass (well, at least not when people can hear it.)

Don't try to replace a love for music with a personality. It is lame. Don't be lame.

There goes all my Good Charlotte gear.

5/8/77.

Greatful Dead live at Barton Hall.

Touch of Grey, Uncle John's Band and Casey Jones.

And really that's about it.

BANJOOOOOOOOOOS

One day in my former career, I heard a terrible sound drifting through the echoing expanse of the shop. I tracked it down, to my work bench, to my radio, to an engineer's son playing The Greatful Dead, playing the most horrible rendition of "Whiskey In The Jar" imaginable. My Irish blood boiled.

" Come on man, you've gotta like The Dead ," he said.

All these years I thought it was just me. Now I know I'm not alone.

You really thought you were the only person who hated them? Maybe we mix in different circles, but throughout my life they have been perhaps the most universally reviled band of all time. Everyone has their differences, but that has been the one commonly held belief between almost everyone I've ever talked music with. Including my mother, who's generation was especially susceptible to that kind of tripe.

You are not alone, Irondave!

I understood the Dead to be wildly popular for decades. Which they were. But apparently also they have many virulent detractors. I wouldn't put myself in that category, but I never could get too interested in their music. Or the attendant fan culture.

On the other hand, I'm not comfortable demeaning them as musicians. They tapped into some of the same music that I really like.

Also, another good thing from the 1960s:

- Pet Sounds

which is by now a cliche, but also a beaufiful, inspiring recording.

This is true! I heard about it.

[sarcasm]I dunno...Pitchfork said it was overrated. I'll have to take their word on this.[/sarcasm]

Ok, I am embarrassed about this, I admit it. I meant to post this in the previous thread, since we were without a new strip, but couldn't finish it in time. Ironic huh?

Anywho. This is my achewood generator at work:

Concept: Ruinous habits
Supporting Concept: Foods
Primary: Ray
Foil: Roast Beef
Catalyst: No one has done the dishes in a while

[IMGS OFF]

And since I know the mighty assetbar will mangle my image and not show all of it...

Here is a hot link to the full image

is this.......plaigerism?

I like to think its flattery. Sincerest form and all.

I should mention that I am ashamed of how long I spent on that photoshop job.

No! Never be ashamed! You are a proud user of Photoshop, and I will not have you hanging your head over such a fine usage of the craft!

Well done, soldier.

Ordinarily, perhaps; however, since it was created in the midst of a frenzy of disease-induced Achewood withdrawl and since the Achewood Generator was both used and acknowledged, I think it is perfectly legitimate.

Pas mal, mon ami. Pas mal.
Chubbied.

I actually laughed out loud at your strip! Well done! Mad chubs for you!

I...I love you. I think it's okay that I do.

Damn, brother. This!

It is brilliant partly because in the first half of the strip, Roast Beef is warning Ray about why you should wash your hands when handling food, but it is Roast Beef who gets sick, and Ray yelling "I TOLD YOU!" This is exactly how the fine day would end for these two cartoon cats.

T was thinking about pulling a "Lindsey Weir" on all of us

It would have been awesome to watch him dancing freely around his room in the same manner, though.

Wow. Holy shit.

so. worth. the. wait.

The last two panels are what makes this one

Definitely worth the wait

Blorp-blooo, priceless. They truly capture the grateful dead.

i agree that the dead have the highest suck to popularity ratio of any band in the last 500 years. 9/10 times they suck, and probably 1/10 people dont know who they are. that's a 9 to 1 suck to popularity ratio.

Fuck! CRAP! I'm out of chubbies ALREADY!

Easy, Tex. I know for a fact that there are many underappreciated comments made in other strips by Mr. neonfreon. It won't be hard to find one, I don't think.

I doubt this. I'm pretty sure that every other comment I've seen by neonfreon demostrates How to Be a Complete Douchebag.

But maybe I will take a look and see.

The trick is to find the comments he made when he was still a fan of Achewood. Try the GOF. Or, you know, just go ahead and read that arc anyway.

We should officially institute the virtual chubby. Just post "virtual chubby" when you foolishly wasted your initial alotment.

But what if you wasted your initial allotment in a non-foolish way?

What then?

Why then you would be forced to not give a toss about the whole piffling business of chubbies.

This is astounding. We need to get this to the Hannah Montana council as soon as possible!

Chubby. But, wouldn't that be 90 : 1?

That would be the ratio for neonfreon.

Oh hee hee man you can take that to the bank

I remember being 9 years old and thinking that the Grateful Dead had to be the greatest thing on wheels, while never having heard their music. The name, the lightning-skull logo, the mythos; how could they not just utterly destroy?

Then my sister got a tape and started playing it every morning, and it sounded EXACTLY like panel four, except with flowers and sesame street thrown in. I was pretty disappointed, and I went back to listening to Quadrophenia and the New Jack City Soundtrack.

Workingman's Dead is OK, though.


Dude, don't I know it! I was in a similar position of considering the aesthetics of The Dead to be extremely rad, but finding their music to be a bit of a letdown. Not mindbendingly terrible, but kinda...meh. At that point in my life I preferred my music to be very loud and weird.

Another band who caught me off guard were Toad The Wet Sprocket. I figured what with their homage to the excessively silly Monty Python skit that their music would be generally peculiar. Instead, it was the aural equivalent of warm milk. Boring, yet somehow gross at the same time.

That is such a correct parallel to draw, as well as an extremely astute description that made me laugh and retch a little. Prepare for chubs.

too true, I can only like that one song, no matter how hard I try.

Pretty much everyone with any taste comes to the same conclusion eventually. You'll hear deadheads complain about it, saying that that song was just their attempt to make a Top 40 record. As if the band's sole attempt at craft or professionalism needs to be rejected outright.

thank goodness i was born too late to even know what the grateful dead really sounds like. i guess i also owe my non-exposure to my parents.

Weird... Jerry Garcia seems to be a fan of Lyle...

"Cats on the bandstand, Give'em each a big hand,
Anyone who sweats like that must be all right."

Although, I've never heard the song, so maybe it's played reeeaaally sarcastically. Every verse followed by "Am I right? Come on."

The Grateful Dead were too stoned to understand or convey sarcasm.

This is completely true. I heard about it.

It is a thing.

Lyle knows the Grateful Dead suck. He knows this.

The Greatful Dead, just like Disco, still sucks. Another of life's comforting certainties.

never say that about disco. never compare them just because you don't enjoy dancing.

My god, Tragicone. Unless you're joking, I find myself in the odd position of finally agreeing with you about something. This is virgin territory for me.

Than a virgin you are Mr. Boat.

I love disco/dancing.

HIPPIE: Ever since Jerry died, man, I feel like I've lost a friend.
DAVID: Yeah, me too, because my friends used to charge me $35 to come watch them dick around on guitars for four hours!

Who's David?

David Cross. It was a reference to a Mr. Show sketch.

chubby for mr. show

Good catch. You're science is exceedingly tight.

That sculpture by Mikey Angelo.

He killed a bunch of Philistines.

Tough divine task but someone had to do it...

ok, now fess up....

how many of you actually went to youtube and looked up grateful dead videos after reading this strip...

(please tell me i'm not the only one)

I didn't, but then, I have a job.

ICE BURN

We all have jobs.

don't we?

I'd be shocked to find out that were true.

I'm student scum, afterwards I plan to be unemployed and have a hideous personal life so that I can meet Jeremy "My brother was a crack addict but do you know what he did?...." Kyle.

afterwards i shall retire.

I admit to this. They were pretty ridiculous in all respects, but I don't think they could have lived up to the hype generated by panel four.

i have not stopped laughing since i saw panel four.

it will be a source of happiness for me from this day forth.

the quarter-note question mark and the broken double...

it hurts so bad to see music killed like that, but then again, Achewood makes it so rad.

When you go to see Bob Dylan and there is this one dude who won't sit down, and insists on dancing through the whole show, and you don't get it, "Why won't that guy sit down? What is he dancing to?", you will understand how I understand the Dead. There is a source of energy. Musicians are the conduit. Music is the veneer. Well, some musicians are anyway. Jerry Garcia was one of the best conduits of all time. You listen to some old recording. It sounds like crap. You say, "God, the Dead suck." You are right. You are standing on the floor at Winterland. The Dead take the stage. They fill the room with such tremendous energy that you dance your ass off all night long and get complements from girls who make their living as personal trainers, who you know but haven't seen for years, and neither of you recognize each other at first. You remember that night for the rest of your life, and smile every time you hear the twang of Jerry's Strat. You are wrong? I don't think so.

It's the energy. Some musicians are better conduits than others, that's all. Recordings are a lie. You have to be there to feel the energy. Some non-musicians are conduits too. That is the only good of recordings - they allow non-musicians to transmit the energy. Some.

Is that clear?

No, but let me go do a heaping pile of acid and I'll get back to you later.

Nobody dances to Bob Dylan, okay? Nobody who has any fucking sense , anyway.

Look, I don't hate Dylan. I like some of his songs, I really do. But they are not danceable. I don't care about his conduit. You cannot dance to Bob Dylan, and if you do, you are a tool and pathetic specimen of personhood.

I completely agree, but I have to say that if I had to dance to Dylan (gun-at-my-head sort of situation) I could probably shake it to "Jokerman." I'm not saying that it's anywhere near one of his crowning achievements, but I am saying that if you can't move your feet to some Sly and Robbie (who, oddly enough, hold down the rhythm section on that one song) you probably need a wheelchair.

I don't think I've ever heard that song.

It's on Infidels, which came out in the early '80s. If that doesn't say enough to you already, let me warn you that it's not a good album. In fact, I would caution you against seeking it out. He was suffering from ridiculously full-blown and outspoken Christianity at the time, and it was the '80s, which never helps.

But, for all of it's horrendous production, I do like that song.

Oh, and I was mistaken; Sly and Robbie accompany throughout that album.

Why is Dylan not on any of the best of 60s lists? At some times he would've been the first & only thing. Is it because his recent mass-exposure has made him less lovable by the hardcore, I wonder.

(everyone on acheworld is automatically classified 'hardcore')

hallelujah hari krishna

haha oh man the only dead song i have on my computer is touch of grey for this very reason

though i've never made that incoming fax burn
touche, teador.

touch of grey is actually my least favorite dead song.

terrapin station. epic.

VOMITING TRIPLET NOTE RULES.

This strip is hard for me to identify with, as I don't like music.

Too noisy.

you might enjoy reading this article, then:

https://www.theonion.com/content/news/pitchfork_gives_music_6_8

I don't much enjoy reading either.

Too many words.

Pictures are nice.

oh yes, lordy yes. just referring me to that article deserves a virtual chubby.

drivin that train, high on cocaine,
todd t. squirrel better watch your speed...

Apparently I am the only Achewood reader that has heard American Beauty and Workingman's Dead, ever.

No, friend. You are not alone. American Beauty is one of those rare albums you can leave in your car's CD player for weeks on end and still be happy to hear when you turn the key. And when I say car, I don't necessarily mean Volkswagen bus.

But you drive one, don't you.

Here's the thing about the Grateful Dead. I enjoy The Clash, but none of my clothes have steel studs or patches affixed with safety pins, and I don't think anyone would expect one to necessarily follow the other, at least not anymore. In the case of the Grateful Dead, though, the music is still obscured by the culture, and I think that's unfortunate. Their fans are/can be obnoxious, but they put out some pretty good music over the years. But I'll be the first to admit that some of their live stuff gets a bit tedious.

It's kind of like Jesus. I mean, he's alright, but his fans are hella obnoxious.

It's the same with most fans of Ron Paul. I mean, I like Ron Paul, but I don't force-feed people my political opinions, and a lot of Paul supporters are basically waiting in the clock tower with sniper rifles to shoot you in the head with their bullets of opinion.

[IMGS OFF]

Re: Chris' blog entry (2/27/2008 for future reference)

If Gordon Ramsay is Led Zeppelin, then Marco Pierre White is Willie Dixon.

Pardon me, that should read "If Gordon Ramsay is Jimmy Page ."

If Gordon Ramsay is Jimmy Page and Marco Pierre White is Willie Dixon, then Alton Brown is Mark Mothersbaugh.

Yes! Absolutely agreed! I guess that would mean Thomas Keller would be Eric Clapton.

I don't understand what this means. I'm not sure if this means anything.

I'm not sure if it does either, though I'm fascinated by it nonetheless.

If rowboat is drskradley, then bjorntd is straw.

Did...did that make any sense? Am I playing the game right?

I...I don't know how I feel about that.

I was a little perplexed at it, myself.

Basically I think we all just have no idea what to do with that information.

Yes, well, here's the thing: I don't know what it means, either. Basically I was trying to demonstrate that I have no idea what the hell is being talked about at this point.

Why am I being compared to a stuffing?

Perhaps an explanation is in order! The game, such that it is, is Celebrity Chef : Famous Musician :: Culinary Accomplishments : Musical Accomplishments.

I started with Onstad's blog entry, likening Gordon Ramsay to Jimmy Page. But Gordon Ramsay cribbed most of his playbook from Marco Pierre White, much in the same way Jimmy Page borrowed Willie Dixon's "Bring It On Home".

I'd say that Thomas Keller compares well to Clapton, because they're both well-respected, virtuoso-level in their respective fields, but when was the last time you ever sat down and put on a Clapton album? Or do you know anyone who's actually eaten at The French Laundry? Onstad may have, along with some other Bay Area folks, but it's a bit of a (3,000 mile) drive for me.

[IMGS OFF]

I ate at the French Laundry once, several years ago, when I was a snotty-nosed 12 year old. My parents had brought my brother and I to the Russian River to sample Zinfandels (rather, they sampled. We stood around looking bored), and on the way back we stopped at the French Laundry. I was a picky eater, and had a burger. I'm not sure I had the full experience.

Say no more! I have a ten-years-older sister who lived in Menlo Park during my teenage years. I too have been bored at a wine tasting!

I have to say, my sister's been wonderfully tolerant of my gaffes when I'd visit, like wolfing down a plate of carpaccio and then reacting loudly with surprise/shock/delight upon finding out that it was raw meat. As in, this is something to brag about back home.

OHHHHHHHH! Okay. This would explain why I did not recognize at least half the names being thrown around.

Chubbed for crucial gastronomic interests.

I only have one chubby for you, but would give you many more if I could.

I thank you kindly, good sir!

And Julia Child is Edith Piaf.

Then that would make Jacques Pepin into Charles Aznavour.
Anthony Bourdain would be Joey Ramone (of course), and Hung Huynh from Top Chef would be Dave Mustaine.

And Paul Prudhomme, the ultimate badass of the cooking world, would be Mike Muir. I can see it now, he'd be all sauteing some shallots, and he'd need some Pepsi for a recipe. Then someone would deny him the Pepsi and all hell would break loose.

Cyco Miko! Stand by stomach here come banana.

Quote:
Anthony Bourdain would be Joey Ramone (of course)

Of course.

Of course .

Ferran Adria would be Bela Fleck. Carlo Petrini would be Doc Watson.

I need to kick up my food reading. I don't recognize too many of these names.

Yes and yes! Oh, and yes for the Bourdain icon!

I must confess a deep and abiding love for Ruhlman's blog , and a semi-shameful addiction to any and all Food-Reality TV.

That being said! Emeril would be Steven Van Zandt. Steve's an actor and musician, and it turns out Emeril's multi-talented , too!

Bobby Flay would be John Fogerty. Flay's known for his southwestern cuisine, but he's from New York City. Fogerty's known for, among other things, "Born on the Bayou", but he's from Berkeley, CA.

I did not know Ruhlman had a blog. This is something that I did not know. This is excellent. You get a chubby. Right. The fuck. Now.

If Alton Brown is Mark Mothersbaugh, then Mario Batali is Dave Crosby. Or John Popper.

All things being equal, and with the Planets in the correct alignment, the Transitive property states that Rachel Ray is [url=https://www.doodlebops.com/]The Doodlebops[/i].

Fail.
...

Rachel Ray is the The Doodlebops . I can't blame that one on Assetbar.

Nice! I've been trying to think of something suitable for that one, and the best I've come up with is Marie Osmond.

Now that just leaves the Paula Deen conundrum.

Who is Teodor kidding, he doesn't have a car.

Cars aren't allowed in Dead Head City, obviously.

Then how will anyone ever feel safe, to drag this discourse kicking and screaming into the 80's. (Cookies if you get the reference, sir/madam)

A comment left by cuneocapo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rygarrett2, Thorfinn, caitskills)

I printed this out and gave it to a Deadhead friend of mine, because he doesn't use his computer enough for me to justify sending him the link. Damned hippies.

Hilarious!

Wednesday Blogs

Onstad: Just what have I been doing with my sick old myself!

Mad ups for grandmother's perfectly penned Lucida Handwriting-font letter.

This is the reason I give when people ask why they should observe No Shuffle Day .

I also like it because it makes me imagine my grandmother's face if she'd received this from me. I can see her opening the plastic pouch, the putrid mess lazily splashing on her non-slip loafer, the stench slowly rising to her sad, fundamentally disappointed face.

I miss her.

man, every stinkin' DAY is no-shuffle day for me. i always flow my playlists for utmost listenability. to not do so brings me great pain.

( like this )

ugh. panels four and six are five material.

grateful dead are simultaneously an easy target and an undeserving one i say, its like really crazy jazz (and a lot of other musics)in that its not bad its just freewheeling and spontaneous, theres alot of improv in both and sometimes they miss a beat but the special momements are very alive and organic, its an acquired taste, the types of people who indulge in such improvisational music are often really intense music fans (like myself) lookin for something different artistically thats gonna keep em guessing.
I had to say something as a devout deadhead and achehead.
also
shakedown street bitches
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R3WBhod0sE