closefriend
+8 -0
Ray was right to eat the turkey himself. It just makes more sense for one man to be fully satisfied than for his army to be still hungry after Ted and Barry each eat all of it.
Ray was right to eat the turkey himself. It just makes more sense for one man to be fully satisfied than for his army to be still hungry after Ted and Barry each eat all of it.
cpnglxynchos
+4 -0
they couldn't each do that, you realize.
they couldn't each do that, you realize.
soticoto
+1 -0
There is plenty of meat outside for the others anyway, assuming one doesn't object to cannibalism.
There is plenty of meat outside for the others anyway, assuming one doesn't object to cannibalism.
rizzle
+7 -0
Didn't this happen in the toilet on Christmas eve.... twice?
Didn't this happen in the toilet on Christmas eve.... twice?
sargasm
+53 -0
Ray cares about children so much he will have another spork of Christian Brothers for them.
Ray cares about children so much he will have another spork of Christian Brothers for them.
saint
+0 -0
I'm not familiar with the measurement of "spork." I was Of the belief that was just a prison-style eating apparatus.
I'm not familiar with the measurement of "spork." I was Of the belief that was just a prison-style eating apparatus.
lacrimus
+22 -0
I show this to my music major friends, and whisper "This, this'll be you."
I show this to my music major friends, and whisper "This, this'll be you."
junko
+0 -0
Look at the level in the bottle - thats a damn lot of sporkfulls.
Look at the level in the bottle - thats a damn lot of sporkfulls.
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
that's what i was thinking at first, but in the drawing the bottle is actually much smaller than what i sort of imagined when in comparison with the spork. the spork actually looks like a bigger drink than a bottle cap of it would be
that's what i was thinking at first, but in the drawing the bottle is actually much smaller than what i sort of imagined when in comparison with the spork. the spork actually looks like a bigger drink than a bottle cap of it would be
dasilodavi
+0 -0
I love the alt text. I would've wondered about Cody if not for it.
"Off camera, Cody Travis outlines his new album, 'In Christ Our Fight is Won.'"
And of course, it wasn't on a giant post-it, which is a pet peeve of mine.
I love the alt text. I would've wondered about Cody if not for it.
"Off camera, Cody Travis outlines his new album, 'In Christ Our Fight is Won.'"
And of course, it wasn't on a giant post-it, which is a pet peeve of mine.
cailetshadow
+12 -0
Chrisian always win fights in Christ that they lose in real life. It's sort of a hobby.
Chrisian always win fights in Christ that they lose in real life. It's sort of a hobby.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
time to clean the keyboard.
"Christians always win fights"
time to clean the keyboard.
"Christians always win fights"
salo
+3 -0
I hate cleaning my keyboard, but when the letters fall between the cracks there's just nothing else to do.
I hate cleaning my keyboard, but when the letters fall between the cracks there's just nothing else to do.
cousinted
+2 -0
We're just two lost souls
swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.
paco
+1 -0
I love that song, but I have to wonder . . . why did you post it here?
I love that song, but I have to wonder . . . why did you post it here?
riazm
+0 -0
I could imagine it playing in the GOF movie, as Ray loses confidence and we see the sun set on another day at the acres.
I could imagine it playing in the GOF movie, as Ray loses confidence and we see the sun set on another day at the acres.
the_voice
+5 -0
None of my friends know that I fugue.
None of my friends know that I fugue.
drago25
+2 -1
When I take another spork of whiskey,
I always do it for the children.
Then I get all teary-eyed and salute the flag.
When I take another spork of whiskey,
I always do it for the children.
Then I get all teary-eyed and salute the flag.
shineboxx
+0 -0
Panel 6 gets my vote for best panel ever in the history of panels.
Panel 6 gets my vote for best panel ever in the history of panels.
talbain
+1 -0
Is it just me or does Ray gain twenty to thirty-five pounds bent over?
Is it just me or does Ray gain twenty to thirty-five pounds bent over?
rumblefish
+4 -0
Ray's usual physique is maintained through careful posture and the tensing of certain otherwise underused muscles. Falling slowly into unconsciousness prevents him from maintaining the sort of control necessary to perpetuate Faux Ray and allows True Ray to be revealed in all his glory.
I know this because I have sex with my shirt on.
Ray's usual physique is maintained through careful posture and the tensing of certain otherwise underused muscles. Falling slowly into unconsciousness prevents him from maintaining the sort of control necessary to perpetuate Faux Ray and allows True Ray to be revealed in all his glory.
I know this because I have sex with my shirt on.
poodlelucy
+0 -0
I am a band teacher.
Is this what my retirement will bring????
I am a band teacher.
Is this what my retirement will bring????
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yes. Inevitably.
Inevitably.
Yes. Inevitably.
Inevitably.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
how does it feel, to see yourself dead?
how does it feel, to see yourself dead?
saint
+0 -0
...and as...
a cat?!
...and as...
a cat?!
carlyle
+0 -0
There are so few people in life that are really that much of your dog to--no, *for* you.
There are so few people in life that are really that much of your dog to--no, *for* you.
dybrar
+0 -0
"To get some nutrition goin' on (here)" is a nice little turn of phrase.
"To get some nutrition goin' on (here)" is a nice little turn of phrase.
My band teacher was like that, but without the turkey.
May band teacher was like that, only instead of turkey or brandy or handguns it was young girls in the band.
A comment left by chaesar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by riotnrrd, keithcozz, endstate, STUART)
A comment left by gumfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, riotdejaneiro, Unfun, Overmedicated, snowman, Vondicus, fell, jfenserty, equinn2006, jollysaintpete, Johnnyrocker, milkpants, Kennisiou, thegrumpysnail, adonkon, mediumrare, RBisme, logic, angelaw6745, gardenhead_, Direhaggis, seren_tremio, clintisiceman, Madoushi, Panserbjorne, Rakadin, Quartzblade, Pigs)
Nice.
Yeah, I had one of those. Band Teacher got fired for giving the drum major "love-bites"
"My OLD MAN's a band teacher, you son of a bitch!"
...No, seriously.
...and is your mom significantly younger than your old man?
All I know is he had a thing for field-hockey players...
Everyone was so...QUIET about it...
....and they were so quiet about it.
...Which keeps implying to me that he fired one into his skull.