jbushnell
+0 -0
COMMODORE UNDERPANTS
COMMODORE UNDERPANTS
mattylite
+18 -0
Hmmmm . . . Aha!
Hmmmm . . . Aha!
baryonyx
+0 -0
Could someone please make a loop of panels 4 and 5?
Could someone please make a loop of panels 4 and 5?
thisistheworst
+0 -0
A comment left by thisistheworst was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by JohnThermos, gussiejives, spaghettisdad, atticusonline, caduceo, mattfish, LaserBlade, lateadopter, TheSoulBear, Davey-Boy)
A comment left by thisistheworst was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by JohnThermos, gussiejives, spaghettisdad, atticusonline, caduceo, mattfish, LaserBlade, lateadopter, TheSoulBear, Davey-Boy)
nice-on-water
+2 -0
This gives the impression that Ray is getting mad rutty with Phillipe Potty-Pals-style. RETRACT.
This gives the impression that Ray is getting mad rutty with Phillipe Potty-Pals-style. RETRACT.
theguitarhero
+26 -1
>You are Ray.
>Forget pants.
>You see a child.
>Bugger that child.
>The child is Phillipe.
>You are Ray.
>Forget pants.
>You see a child.
>Bugger that child.
>The child is Phillipe.
nice-on-water
+4 -0
I won't have this. No one's gonna bugger Phillipe. Not MY Phillipe.
::cuts hair into mohawk and shoots Harvey Keitel::
::insert panel from GOF of Vlad with a mohawk::
Are you talkink to me?
I won't have this. No one's gonna bugger Phillipe. Not MY Phillipe.
::cuts hair into mohawk and shoots Harvey Keitel::
::insert panel from GOF of Vlad with a mohawk::
Are you talkink to me?
sje46
+0 -0
*cries*
*cries*
lexsenthur
+0 -0
*weeping ovations*
*weeping ovations*
i_love_kate
+2 -0
I read that as "weeping ovulations" and experienced an instant queasy feeling.
I read that as "weeping ovulations" and experienced an instant queasy feeling.
stereo
+0 -0
If that's anything like "weeping tumour" I don't want to hear about it.
If that's anything like "weeping tumour" I don't want to hear about it.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
It's more like "singing bowels."
It's more like "singing bowels."
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
What do they sing of?
What do they sing of?
cracklewater
+0 -0
The foolhardiness of doing tummy meth.
The foolhardiness of doing tummy meth.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Ray will have a fool's ass killed for even contemplating Phillipe-buggery.
Ray will have a fool's ass killed for even contemplating Phillipe-buggery.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Of course...the perfect crime! Who would suspect him?
Of course...the perfect crime! Who would suspect him?
zombiezero
+1 -0
Ray is gonna play franks and sacks with my favorite kid?! Get me the damn phone, fool!
Ray is gonna play franks and sacks with my favorite kid?! Get me the damn phone, fool!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Looks like the megalomaniac loafer is on the other foot now, eh, Smuckles?
Looks like the megalomaniac loafer is on the other foot now, eh, Smuckles?
falseprophet
+3 -0
Everytime I see this, I can't help but think of Akuma from Street Fighter doing the Shun Goku Satsu/Raging Demon/Bison Killer.
Maybe that's what it is. Maybe his super move is an ass rape .
Everytime I see this, I can't help but think of Akuma from Street Fighter doing the Shun Goku Satsu/Raging Demon/Bison Killer.
Maybe that's what it is. Maybe his super move is an ass rape .
morypcaina
+1 -0
on playstation the command is forward, forward, square, x, R1... the R must stand for Raype.
on playstation the command is forward, forward, square, x, R1... the R must stand for Raype.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Philippe and Ray Theatre Presents...: Brokeback Mountain
Philippe and Ray Theatre Presents...: Brokeback Mountain
drskradley
+0 -0
Ich haber meine hoser vergessen.
I don't know much in German, but I know the essentials.
Ich haber meine hoser vergessen.
I don't know much in German, but I know the essentials.
hamscout
+1 -0
My favorites from high school:
Ich fulle meine Hose mit Schinken.
Ich bin ein Idiot, und ich kann kein Deutsch sprechen.
These are probably a large portion of the phrases I remember, yet I tested out of the foreign language requirement in my degree! (Sorry college! Sorry parents!)
My favorites from high school:
Ich fulle meine Hose mit Schinken.
Ich bin ein Idiot, und ich kann kein Deutsch sprechen.
These are probably a large portion of the phrases I remember, yet I tested out of the foreign language requirement in my degree! (Sorry college! Sorry parents!)
thisistheworst
+0 -0
buggery won by five
buggery won by five
thesoulbear
+0 -0
The author of this horror's name says it all.
The author of this horror's name says it all.
tibcoolbreeze
+26 -0
tibcoolbreeze
+0 -0
The flashing black border is an oops, and I'm too lazy to fix it, but coupled with the short frame delay, it does give the animation a rhythmic strobe effect, don't you think?
The flashing black border is an oops, and I'm too lazy to fix it, but coupled with the short frame delay, it does give the animation a rhythmic strobe effect, don't you think?
sje46
+1 -0
You're going to give 1 out of 3 Japanese kids a seizure.
You're going to give 1 out of 3 Japanese kids a seizure.
theirateturk
+10 -0
Whoa. You need to slow that shit down. Let me show you:
Whoa. You need to slow that shit down. Let me show you:
hamscout
+3 -0
Fucking genius . As it plays, the tension builds like a Hitchcock film...
Fucking genius . As it plays, the tension builds like a Hitchcock film...
wonelove
+2 -0
waiting for it...waiting for it...
waiting for it ....
and SQUAT
waiting for it...waiting for it...
waiting for it ....
and SQUAT
farqussus
+1 -0
you can pop you kneecap right through your skin squatting that fast!
you can pop you kneecap right through your skin squatting that fast!
echidnaboy
+2 -0
Why, yes! I do have a banana in my underpants, and I am pleased to see you!
Why, yes! I do have a banana in my underpants, and I am pleased to see you!
smilebuddha
+0 -0
The boy's dancing like he has ass in his underpants!
The boy's dancing like he has ass in his underpants!
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Also, by sheer random coincidence, Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass's version of "Zorba the Greek" is playing on my computer, which could not be more apropos to this picture. Ever.
Also, by sheer random coincidence, Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass's version of "Zorba the Greek" is playing on my computer, which could not be more apropos to this picture. Ever.
greyfield
+0 -0
That speed makes it look like Philippe is teabagging a banana.
That speed makes it look like Philippe is teabagging a banana.
jbushnell
+0 -0
There are like twenty alone on my desktop
On behalf of all good Acheworld citizens, I demand a screenshot.
There are like twenty alone on my desktop
On behalf of all good Acheworld citizens, I demand a screenshot.
featurelessvoid
+3 -0
There are more types of "desktop" in heaven and earth, jbushnell, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. In fact, there's often a desktop underneath the desktop you're thinking of.
There are more types of "desktop" in heaven and earth, jbushnell, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. In fact, there's often a desktop underneath the desktop you're thinking of.
jbushnell
+1 -0
That desktop is called my lap.
That desktop is called my lap.
nice-on-water
+5 -0
There is a desktop that is standing behind some curtains and you can only see its shoes.
There is a desktop that is standing behind some curtains and you can only see its shoes.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Chubby for your Hamlet reference!
It's perversion meets education.
Chubby for your Hamlet reference!
It's perversion meets education.
daidai
+0 -0
Technically, it is unclear whether Hamlet sees Polonius' shoes or if he already knows he is being spied upon.
i am a tool
Technically, it is unclear whether Hamlet sees Polonius' shoes or if he already knows he is being spied upon.
i am a tool
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Because I'm so honest, I'll come clean and say it was a reference to [url="https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132007"]this[/url] and I even managed to mess it up.
Because I'm so honest, I'll come clean and say it was a reference to [url="https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06132007"]this[/url] and I even managed to mess it up.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
OH GOD OH NO NO NOT LIKE THIS ASSETBAR PLEASE NOT TODAY NOT LIKE THIS
bam
OH GOD OH NO NO NOT LIKE THIS ASSETBAR PLEASE NOT TODAY NOT LIKE THIS
bam
kamet
+0 -0
Assetbar is a fickle, fickle mistress.
Assetbar is a fickle, fickle mistress.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
who'da thought the old man'd have so much blood in 'im?
who'da thought the old man'd have so much blood in 'im?
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Oh hey, I was replying to featureless void's quote (there are more things dreamt of in your philosophy, etc.)
I'm sorry we had ourselves a misunderstanding, and that Assetbar decided to be a dick to you. Have a chubby.
Oh hey, I was replying to featureless void's quote (there are more things dreamt of in your philosophy, etc.)
I'm sorry we had ourselves a misunderstanding, and that Assetbar decided to be a dick to you. Have a chubby.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Tanks brah.
Tanks brah.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Pervasion?
Pervasion?
mrwombat
+0 -0
Does nobody remember the tragedy of JPsShytBox?
Does nobody remember the tragedy of JPsShytBox?
myfirstpost
+1 -1
How can twenty of something be alone.
How can twenty of something be alone.
jbushnell
+7 -0
It can be like the audience at a poorly-attended emo show.
It can be like the audience at a poorly-attended emo show.
stereo
+1 -0
It's a colloquialism, he means there are about 20 sins if he only counts the ones on his desktop.
It's a colloquialism, he means there are about 20 sins if he only counts the ones on his desktop.
mattylite
+0 -0
Philippe doing the banana's voice in panel six: is it the cutest thing?
Philippe doing the banana's voice in panel six: is it the cutest thing?
pravda
+0 -0
It is by far the cutest thing. Maybe not as cute as Phillipe and the french fry, but it earns points for suggesting that the enemy is inside of them.
It is by far the cutest thing. Maybe not as cute as Phillipe and the french fry, but it earns points for suggesting that the enemy is inside of them.
featurelessvoid
+36 -0
I sense a new record in the making.
I sense a new record in the making.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
YARRRP.
YARRRP.
nursewomanflesh
+1 -0
why does it say "comment by fooker ignored"? i had to click it in order to read his comment, to wit, "I bet the woman who I introduced to achewood, who then went bi-polar and introduced another dude to achewood, probably does ipecac to keep her figure.
You know, what's up with dudes who work at their parent's landrover dealerships acting like they get Achewood? Come on. No one is fooled."
i would like to write a stinging reply to this but I am FOILED what the hell people
why does it say "comment by fooker ignored"? i had to click it in order to read his comment, to wit, "I bet the woman who I introduced to achewood, who then went bi-polar and introduced another dude to achewood, probably does ipecac to keep her figure.
You know, what's up with dudes who work at their parent's landrover dealerships acting like they get Achewood? Come on. No one is fooled."
i would like to write a stinging reply to this but I am FOILED what the hell people
baryonyx
+1 -0
I noticed that too. It seems the Assetbar gods have seen fit to distribute a standardized Ignore List.
I noticed that too. It seems the Assetbar gods have seen fit to distribute a standardized Ignore List.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
IT'S LIKE WHEN TIVO THOUGHT DOUG WAS GAY AND PROGRAMMED ALL GAY-ORIENTED PROGRAMMING.
Oh wait, no it's not.
IT'S LIKE WHEN TIVO THOUGHT DOUG WAS GAY AND PROGRAMMED ALL GAY-ORIENTED PROGRAMMING.
Oh wait, no it's not.
baryonyx
+1 -0
Next comes the rationing of food , then we all start calling each other comrade , and then the youth groups , and the curfews , and the camps , and we start spelling comrade with a K ...
Next comes the rationing of food , then we all start calling each other comrade , and then the youth groups , and the curfews , and the camps , and we start spelling comrade with a K ...
theguitarhero
+3 -0
And we wear onions in our belts.
And we wear onions in our belts.
lazarusloafer
+1 -0
Now, you couldn't get white onions, 'cause of the war.
Now, you couldn't get white onions, 'cause of the war.
hamscout
+14 -0
THE CHUBBIES ARE MADE FROM PEOPLE!!!
THE CHUBBIES ARE MADE FROM PEOPLE!!!
speccer
+1 -0
Oh god I gave you a chubby what have I just done
Oh god I gave you a chubby what have I just done
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that man's cry at the end of the film was not as it was portrayed in my mind beforehand.
that man's cry at the end of the film was not as it was portrayed in my mind beforehand.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It fell on deaf ears and was kind of strained and weak, yes. Not Statue-of-Liberty-buried-on-the-beach-yell good.
It fell on deaf ears and was kind of strained and weak, yes. Not Statue-of-Liberty-buried-on-the-beach-yell good.
speccer
+0 -0
I watched the movie about a year ago, and it was much more hilarious than dramatic.
I watched the movie about a year ago, and it was much more hilarious than dramatic.
sje46
+1 -0
Darth Vader at the end of Episode III.
NOOO!!!
Darth Vader at the end of Episode III.
NOOO!!!
aaronherget
+1 -0
Just to clarify, from the tone of the comments lately it appears that some are not in favor of the ignore list.
I am. I originally wanted to read everything, and judge for myself. That was before random homophobia/racism/sexism/ridiculous length posts made me stop coming here regularly. I am SO in favor of this list that I felt the need to actually post about it.
Just to clarify, from the tone of the comments lately it appears that some are not in favor of the ignore list.
I am. I originally wanted to read everything, and judge for myself. That was before random homophobia/racism/sexism/ridiculous length posts made me stop coming here regularly. I am SO in favor of this list that I felt the need to actually post about it.
baryonyx
+0 -0
But wait, hang on. That's why you have an adjustable lame threshold and the Mark as Spam feature. Writing off an entire user seems presumptuous. What if someone gets drunk and spams Assetbar one day, and then posts the cure for cancer on the next?
You'd be sorry then, I'd bet.
But wait, hang on. That's why you have an adjustable lame threshold and the Mark as Spam feature. Writing off an entire user seems presumptuous. What if someone gets drunk and spams Assetbar one day, and then posts the cure for cancer on the next?
You'd be sorry then, I'd bet.
hamscout
+0 -0
If I can't save my cancer-ridden ass from dying simply by clicking on a hidden comment, then, well...survival of the fittest, I say.
Nature read in tooth and ignore...
If I can't save my cancer-ridden ass from dying simply by clicking on a hidden comment, then, well...survival of the fittest, I say.
Nature read in tooth and ignore...
autrepoupee
+10 -0
there already is one its just the government is keeping it for themselves LOOK @ THE FAX SHEEPLE WHERE IS MAGIC JOHNSON THE REAL ONE ANYWAY
there already is one its just the government is keeping it for themselves LOOK @ THE FAX SHEEPLE WHERE IS MAGIC JOHNSON THE REAL ONE ANYWAY
baryonyx
+0 -0
Thank you for reminding me to add "Conspiracy Theorists" to my master list of Things I Hate, which I have.
Thank you for reminding me to add "Conspiracy Theorists" to my master list of Things I Hate, which I have.
sje46
+1 -0
Did you know that Paul didn't die back in 66, it was actually the rest of the Beatles who did? I have proof.
Did you know that Paul didn't die back in 66, it was actually the rest of the Beatles who did? I have proof.
kamet
+0 -0
The Walrus was part?
The Walrus was part?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
The Walrus was all.
The Walrus was all.
mangtastic
+0 -0
I love that.
Tell me the proof, and I will believe it because I want to .
I love that.
Tell me the proof, and I will believe it because I want to .
sje46
+6 -0
The back of Sergeant Pepper's:
John, George, and Ringo are the only ones who are facing you.
Like an open casket.
Abbey Road. The license plate says 28 IF. This is how old old George would have been if we were still alive.
The symbology of the zebra crossing? Ever notice how Paul is not wearing shoes? Of course you did. Did you also notice that Paul is the only one with no facial hair?
This is because in some obscure cultures, the beard represents death. The natives believe that putting a false beard on the deceased's face is a sign of respect for the God Hulujutu, the main God, often depicted with a large flowing beard. In fact, if the deceased has no beard, then that is a sign of disrespect.
Now, the backside of Abbey Road.
See this? The dots? When you connect them, you see an obvious 3, glaring at you. What does it mean? Three Beatles. Three Beatles dead .
Sergeant Pepper's.
The hand over Paul is protecting him. he was saved by the grace of God in that terrible car crash in 1966. If you look closely in the photographs, you see a chipped tooth that wasn't there before '66.
O nly P erson A live.
Strawberry fields. "Cranberry sauce"? Yeah, likely story. More like "I buried all."
Please. Listen to any song on the White Album backwards. It's so obvious .
The back of Sergeant Pepper's:
John, George, and Ringo are the only ones who are facing you.
Like an open casket.
Abbey Road. The license plate says 28 IF. This is how old old George would have been if we were still alive.
The symbology of the zebra crossing? Ever notice how Paul is not wearing shoes? Of course you did. Did you also notice that Paul is the only one with no facial hair?
This is because in some obscure cultures, the beard represents death. The natives believe that putting a false beard on the deceased's face is a sign of respect for the God Hulujutu, the main God, often depicted with a large flowing beard. In fact, if the deceased has no beard, then that is a sign of disrespect.
Now, the backside of Abbey Road.
See this? The dots? When you connect them, you see an obvious 3, glaring at you. What does it mean? Three Beatles. Three Beatles dead .
Sergeant Pepper's.
The hand over Paul is protecting him. he was saved by the grace of God in that terrible car crash in 1966. If you look closely in the photographs, you see a chipped tooth that wasn't there before '66.
O nly P erson A live.
Strawberry fields. "Cranberry sauce"? Yeah, likely story. More like "I buried all."
Please. Listen to any song on the White Album backwards. It's so obvious .
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't know why this makes me mad. I don't know why. I don't have a good reason. But I don't find this funny. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry
I won't lame you, but I just-- I don't know.
I don't know why this makes me mad. I don't know why. I don't have a good reason. But I don't find this funny. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry
I won't lame you, but I just-- I don't know.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah, it wasn't funny.
I thought I could do it, but I failed.
:sigh:
Yeah, it wasn't funny.
I thought I could do it, but I failed.
:sigh:
redphillip
+0 -0
Daddy Lechatbotte gonna have to larn you hard, boy. Jus hard.
Daddy Lechatbotte gonna have to larn you hard, boy. Jus hard.
redphillip
+0 -0
Daddy Lechatbotte gonna have to larn you hard, boy. Jus hard.
Daddy Lechatbotte gonna have to larn you hard, boy. Jus hard.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Actually, Daddy Le Chat Botte is very proud! Humans seek meaning where none is found, and then make it up as they go. This wonderfully funny bit of "Paul is dead" satire is spot on! I've never been more proud, son.
Actually, Daddy Le Chat Botte is very proud! Humans seek meaning where none is found, and then make it up as they go. This wonderfully funny bit of "Paul is dead" satire is spot on! I've never been more proud, son.
falseprophet
+4 -0
I found it an amusing satire of the "Paul is dead" theory. Because it is the total opposite of that theory.
It was not funny. It was humorous . Like an article in The New Yorker or the writings of P.G. Wodehouse, or when a wealthy socialite murders a homeless man ironically.
I found it an amusing satire of the "Paul is dead" theory. Because it is the total opposite of that theory.
It was not funny. It was humorous . Like an article in The New Yorker or the writings of P.G. Wodehouse, or when a wealthy socialite murders a homeless man ironically.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, I thought it was funny.
Man, I thought it was funny.
sje46
+0 -0
Does it have to be ironic?
Also . .. thanks?
Does it have to be ironic?
Also . .. thanks?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm not saying it's without worth but just that, I don't know, this is going to make me look like such a dick, and I accept that, but it might have to do with the fact that you always post about the Beatles. Also don't listen to me because I'm a prick.
::self-loathes in corner::
I'm not saying it's without worth but just that, I don't know, this is going to make me look like such a dick, and I accept that, but it might have to do with the fact that you always post about the Beatles. Also don't listen to me because I'm a prick.
::self-loathes in corner::
sje46
+0 -0
I'm sorry. I'll talk about the Beach Boys more! They're not as cool though.
=/
Have a hug.
*hug*
I'm sorry. I'll talk about the Beach Boys more! They're not as cool though.
=/
Have a hug.
*hug*
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh man but the Beach Boys are raw dude. I listened to "Help Me Rhonda" on repeat 9 times sometime last week, then a day later remembered that T-Rex did that in Dinosaur Comics but like 100 times instead.
Oh man but the Beach Boys are raw dude. I listened to "Help Me Rhonda" on repeat 9 times sometime last week, then a day later remembered that T-Rex did that in Dinosaur Comics but like 100 times instead.
sje46
+0 -0
I looked this up but it was worth it.
I looked this up but it was worth it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
IT'S ALWAYS WORTH IT.
IT'S ALWAYS WORTH IT.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm not saying as I ever murdered a homeless man, but if I did it it would not be for irony . It would be the sheer desire to kill a hobo.
I'm not saying as I ever murdered a homeless man, but if I did it it would not be for irony . It would be the sheer desire to kill a hobo.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
For the record, I cannot adjust my lame threshold. Why? I dunno, probably just because God hates me.
For the record, I cannot adjust my lame threshold. Why? I dunno, probably just because God hates me.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Dear Assetbar_Admin:
It appears that I am not the only one who would like the ability to opt out of the JIA auto-ignore function. Having this option on the edit profile page would be most satisfying.
Also, I appreciate your fixing my account such that I could change the lame limit. It appears that mystkmanat could use the same fix.
Previously, we have requested the ability to view an inbox style report of which comments have been chubbied and lamed. Are there any plans?
Thank you for this fine platform and your attendance.
Dear Assetbar_Admin:
It appears that I am not the only one who would like the ability to opt out of the JIA auto-ignore function. Having this option on the edit profile page would be most satisfying.
Also, I appreciate your fixing my account such that I could change the lame limit. It appears that mystkmanat could use the same fix.
Previously, we have requested the ability to view an inbox style report of which comments have been chubbied and lamed. Are there any plans?
Thank you for this fine platform and your attendance.
sje46
+1 -0
Oh no! Does that mean it is a sin if I still love you?
Oh no! Does that mean it is a sin if I still love you?
mystkmanat
+0 -0
Yes, but it's only about Sin #43 or so, so it's not one of the ones that earns you a Subaru Brat. Your punishment will just be missing the bus or having to go to the dentist or something.
Also: chubby for warming my heart.
Yes, but it's only about Sin #43 or so, so it's not one of the ones that earns you a Subaru Brat. Your punishment will just be missing the bus or having to go to the dentist or something.
Also: chubby for warming my heart.
mangtastic
+0 -0
I can't adjust mine either. I thought I must have been stupid or something, so I never mentioned it.
I can't adjust mine either. I thought I must have been stupid or something, so I never mentioned it.
irondave
+2 -0
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
pogo
+0 -0
No "gods" involved, robot, merely a new feature that keeps track of the "ignores" and puts users on the list once a few of us have voted that way, or something like that. It's democracy (or witch burning) in action.
No "gods" involved, robot, merely a new feature that keeps track of the "ignores" and puts users on the list once a few of us have voted that way, or something like that. It's democracy (or witch burning) in action.
baryonyx
+0 -1
Like a democracy that operates on a system of lynch mobs.
Like a democracy that operates on a system of lynch mobs.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
COMING THIS FALL:
DEMOCRACY'S ABOUT TO GET A BIT MORE INTERESTING
ELECTION DAY
November 2008
COMING THIS FALL:
DEMOCRACY'S ABOUT TO GET A BIT MORE INTERESTING
ELECTION DAY
November 2008
nice-on-water
+0 -0
PREPARE FOR HANGING CHADS
PREPARE FOR HANGING CHADS
stereo
+0 -0
COMPROMISED VOTING MACHINES
COMPROMISED VOTING MACHINES
lechatbotte
+2 -0
VOTING MACHINES OF UNCERTAIN MORALS
VOTING MACHINES OF UNCERTAIN MORALS
smilebuddha
+3 -0
STARRING LEE MARVIN AS THE JUDGE OF ELECTIONS;
STERLING HAYDEN AS THE 'UNDECIDED VOTER';
AND RITA HAYWORTH AS THE WOMAN WHO LOVED THEM BOTH!
Rated "R" for strong language, violence, and civic duty
STARRING LEE MARVIN AS THE JUDGE OF ELECTIONS;
STERLING HAYDEN AS THE 'UNDECIDED VOTER';
AND RITA HAYWORTH AS THE WOMAN WHO LOVED THEM BOTH!
Rated "R" for strong language, violence, and civic duty
belgand
+0 -0
"Civic duty" and "Becoming informed of the facts regarding public policy" are deadly sins 9 and 13 respectively.
"Civic duty" and "Becoming informed of the facts regarding public policy" are deadly sins 9 and 13 respectively.
baryonyx
+0 -0
This explains much about the political opinions of devout evangelicals.
This explains much about the political opinions of devout evangelicals.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
It was knocked down to R from NC-17 after they removed approximately 17 minutes of graphic political efficacy.
It was knocked down to R from NC-17 after they removed approximately 17 minutes of graphic political efficacy.
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
farqussus
+0 -0
Nearly there buddy. A few more weeks, if you can keep it fresh, or even really not fresh, and you will join the canon of ubertrolls.
Nearly there buddy. A few more weeks, if you can keep it fresh, or even really not fresh, and you will join the canon of ubertrolls.
varnish
+1 -0
Philippe's tiny little shoes frighten me. So do his legs, for that matter. Why does he have the legs of rotund nursing home patient?
Philippe's tiny little shoes frighten me. So do his legs, for that matter. Why does he have the legs of rotund nursing home patient?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Could it be because he is a cherubic little 5 year old (otter)?
Could it be because he is a cherubic little 5 year old (otter)?
varnish
+0 -0
No, no. Nothing that poetic.
No, no. Nothing that poetic.
bumpishound
+12 -0
Some masters work in oils, some in clay. Lyle works in sin.
Some masters work in oils, some in clay. Lyle works in sin.
snidedk
+0 -0
He's getting ready to paint his masterpiece.
He's getting ready to paint his masterpiece.
daidai
+0 -0
Ipecac pilates? I'm sure Lyle's masterpiece cold be better than that.
Ipecac pilates? I'm sure Lyle's masterpiece cold be better than that.
retinarow
+1 -0
Teodor loves raining on people's parades using theatrical comparisons:
Teodor loves raining on people's parades using theatrical comparisons:
baryonyx
+0 -0
Phillipe wants to be a princess? His mother is going to be furious when she finds out that Teodor hasn't been educating him.
Phillipe wants to be a princess? His mother is going to be furious when she finds out that Teodor hasn't been educating him.
fuyukodachi
+0 -0
How Charles Became Charlene: The Story of a Princess
How Charles Became Charlene: The Story of a Princess
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
next time, on Maury.
*host camera dissolve to the over-audience swing cam, cue 'applause' sign and fade concluding music in*
next time, on Maury.
*host camera dissolve to the over-audience swing cam, cue 'applause' sign and fade concluding music in*
pravda
+1 -0
Phillipe's imagination is my favorite place in the entire world. Also I have no idea why Lyle's idea of a male princess is a dude with a banana in his underpants. It is ok though because he is an alcoholic and just wants an excuse to yell at Phillipe as he cleans the house.
Phillipe's imagination is my favorite place in the entire world. Also I have no idea why Lyle's idea of a male princess is a dude with a banana in his underpants. It is ok though because he is an alcoholic and just wants an excuse to yell at Phillipe as he cleans the house.
ortsac
+1 -0
thanks! Onstad
thanks! Onstad
tangles
+0 -0
the classic phillipe thinking in panels 4-7 just kill me. i'm solving all conversations tomorrow with, "good point. we should go... to the DOCTOR!"
the classic phillipe thinking in panels 4-7 just kill me. i'm solving all conversations tomorrow with, "good point. we should go... to the DOCTOR!"
baryonyx
+1 -0
In fact, almost any sentence is improved...by a dramatic pause before the object!
In fact, almost any sentence is improved...by a dramatic pause before the object!
daidai
+0 -0
That is...arguable!
You just...won that argument.
That is...arguable!
You just...won that argument.
baryonyx
+0 -0
I just won...the ARGUMENT!
I just won...the ARGUMENT!
tangles
+0 -0
"almost any sentence"? i want a... NEGATING EXAMPLE! ...whoops. there it is
"almost any sentence"? i want a... NEGATING EXAMPLE! ...whoops. there it is
epicurus
+1 -0
I just don't understand how the banana explains him being male?
I just don't understand how the banana explains him being male?
hamscout
+24 -1
Everbody dance like there's...
'NANNER IN YOUR PANTS!!!
Everbody dance like there's...
'NANNER IN YOUR PANTS!!!
blueloggy
+0 -0
Those are some sizable bananas, Hamscout.
Those are some sizable bananas, Hamscout.
usversusthem
+6 -0
I guess he's com plan sa tain .
oh god shoot me now
I guess he's com plan sa tain .
oh god shoot me now
explodingbat
+0 -0
Ouch
Ouch
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Man I thought my puns were bad. I cringed so hard I chubbied you for it.
Man I thought my puns were bad. I cringed so hard I chubbied you for it.
thepunchman
+0 -0
That a Musa's me!
That a Musa's me!
thepunchman
+0 -0
The ap peel of punning again against my better judgment has me split
The ap peel of punning again against my better judgment has me split
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
hello, very big Dib shirt.
hello, very big Dib shirt.
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Why, hello.
Why, hello.
redphillip
+0 -0
Tom Cruise has never looked so delectable .
Tom Cruise has never looked so delectable .
davey-boy
+0 -0
Oh god, but he did have his hair like that, didn't he?
Oh god, but he did have his hair like that, didn't he?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
yeah, it's pretty Little Lord Fauntleroy. Nice haircut Tom, did it come with a bowl of soup?
yeah, it's pretty Little Lord Fauntleroy. Nice haircut Tom, did it come with a bowl of soup?
smilebuddha
+1 -0
I did come with a free hat, tho.
I did come with a free hat, tho.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
It came. It came with a free hat.
(sigh)Channeling Rodney Dangerfield can be so hit or miss
It came. It came with a free hat.
(sigh)Channeling Rodney Dangerfield can be so hit or miss
reverendtmac
+8 -0
So I jump ship in San Francisco and make my way over to Achewood, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Underground. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? Ray Smuckles himself. Great Outdoor Fight Champion. The flowing Ancient Situation, the thong, no retard should ever pay to eat...striking.
So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, Smuckles - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this storm drain kinda thing. Do you know what the cat says? Gunga galunga...gunga, gunga-galunga. Puff, puff, pass.
So we finish the eighteenth, and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Ray, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."
Then he cracked up and handed me six hundo. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice...
So I jump ship in San Francisco and make my way over to Achewood, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Underground. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? Ray Smuckles himself. Great Outdoor Fight Champion. The flowing Ancient Situation, the thong, no retard should ever pay to eat...striking.
So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, Smuckles - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this storm drain kinda thing. Do you know what the cat says? Gunga galunga...gunga, gunga-galunga. Puff, puff, pass.
So we finish the eighteenth, and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Ray, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."
Then he cracked up and handed me six hundo. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice...
smilebuddha
+1 -0
invidious
+3 -0
I think hamscout's photoshop made me a homosexual.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring.
I think hamscout's photoshop made me a homosexual.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring.
hamscout
+8 -0
Uhm, I didn't mean to inadvertently call you out, all 'In & Out'-style, Saul...
I mean, I did crop you out of the photo...
Uhm, I didn't mean to inadvertently call you out, all 'In & Out'-style, Saul...
I mean, I did crop you out of the photo...
aperson
+0 -0
That is truly delightful!
That is truly delightful!
farqussus
+0 -0
Still makes you a homosexual
Still makes you a homosexual
doctordung
+0 -0
I HAVE THE 'NANNER!
I HAVE THE 'NANNER!
ishuta
+2 -0
Seriously, He-Man is so gay. He walks into a pub and they ask him if he wants Stella Artois. He says yes.
Seriously, He-Man is so gay. He walks into a pub and they ask him if he wants Stella Artois. He says yes.
laserblade
+2 -0
HOW GAY IS HE?
Oh wait, nvm, you already finished it.
HOW GAY IS HE?
Oh wait, nvm, you already finished it.
speccer
+0 -0
Chubby for Match Game reference.
Chubby for Match Game reference.
sje46
+0 -0
It's almost National Coming-Out Day.
It's almost National Coming-Out Day.
logpony
+0 -0
It is my feeling that working at Kinko's while being a jota is probably a bad thing. But then again it is Lyle.
It is my feeling that working at Kinko's while being a jota is probably a bad thing. But then again it is Lyle.
daily
+0 -0
Wait, Jota means Lesbian, no? If you were the other kind of "the gay" you'd be a Joto. Verdad?
Wait, Jota means Lesbian, no? If you were the other kind of "the gay" you'd be a Joto. Verdad?
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Si, es verdad.
Si, es verdad.
mattylite
+0 -0
Holy shit, I read "es verdad," then mere seconds later Joe Strummer said "es verdad, those Washington bullets again" on my stereo. Coincidence? Well, ya, I guess so.
Holy shit, I read "es verdad," then mere seconds later Joe Strummer said "es verdad, those Washington bullets again" on my stereo. Coincidence? Well, ya, I guess so.
filote88
+0 -0
no es sierto, male homosexuals can be referred to by the feminine (locas, maricas, and jotas) as well by the masculine forms (bugarron is one of the few that cannot be feminine. essentially its the difference betwen bitch and butch. won't learn that in your spanish class.
no es sierto, male homosexuals can be referred to by the feminine (locas, maricas, and jotas) as well by the masculine forms (bugarron is one of the few that cannot be feminine. essentially its the difference betwen bitch and butch. won't learn that in your spanish class.
filote88
+2 -0
also, generally speaking jota is the one who takes it bugarron is the one who gives (almost exclusively). sorry if i'm not funny.
also, generally speaking jota is the one who takes it bugarron is the one who gives (almost exclusively). sorry if i'm not funny.
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
Wait. I don't get it. Say it again in Spanish.
Wait. I don't get it. Say it again in Spanish.
krockhool
+0 -0
I'm in the laboratory. I'm starting Monday, Part 2. "Part 1: the first 8 hours," was long and difficult. I see no reason why part 2 should be any different. But you know what? Science don't get paid to rest. It just don't get paid to rest at all.
I'm in the laboratory. I'm starting Monday, Part 2. "Part 1: the first 8 hours," was long and difficult. I see no reason why part 2 should be any different. But you know what? Science don't get paid to rest. It just don't get paid to rest at all.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Teodor is so angry his eyes grew .
Teodor is so angry his eyes grew .
irondave
+1 -0
After some thought, it occurred to me that a "boy princess" is of course a prince, and that Lyle has in mind for a proper prince costume tights and a codpiece. Underpants Dan is just the handiest way to effect that costume.
After some thought, it occurred to me that a "boy princess" is of course a prince, and that Lyle has in mind for a proper prince costume tights and a codpiece. Underpants Dan is just the handiest way to effect that costume.
tripleg
+0 -0
a princess is also a little queen
a princess is also a little queen
mrchee
+0 -0
Who exactly, when faced with a plethora of options, would choose to prison-rape a stuffed bear?
Who exactly, when faced with a plethora of options, would choose to prison-rape a stuffed bear?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
>You are in your prison cell. The gate north of you is open, giving you exit. In your cell is an alive stuffed bear
>Bugger that bear.
>The bear is Teador.
>You are in your prison cell. The gate north of you is open, giving you exit. In your cell is an alive stuffed bear
>Bugger that bear.
>The bear is Teador.
baryonyx
+0 -0
> You have gained 5 points. Your current score is 5 out of a possible 8336.
> You have gained 5 points. Your current score is 5 out of a possible 8336.
laserblade
+1 -0
>You are in a hotel room. A Mideastern oil prince squats in front of you.
>Bugger that oil prince.
>That oil prince is Ray.
>You are in a hotel room. A Mideastern oil prince squats in front of you.
>Bugger that oil prince.
>That oil prince is Ray.
odei
+10 -0
>You are on Assetbar. An overused reference is being posted.
>Bugger that reference.
>That reference has already been buggered.
>You are on Assetbar. An overused reference is being posted.
>Bugger that reference.
>That reference has already been buggered.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Even though I started the "overused reference" I'm gonna give you a chubbu.
Even though I started the "overused reference" I'm gonna give you a chubbu.
laserblade
+0 -0
Even though I felt my version was pretty good because it actually was a surprise that the oil prince was Ray, I shall as well.
Even though I felt my version was pretty good because it actually was a surprise that the oil prince was Ray, I shall as well.
odei
+0 -0
I didn't say it was bad! Don't think your jokes were bad! I've just seen >That x is x too many times.
I didn't say it was bad! Don't think your jokes were bad! I've just seen >That x is x too many times.
laserblade
+0 -0
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
me
(i would)
also really if you are going to prisonrape someone, wouldn't you pick the littlest guy with the least amount of guff?
me
(i would)
also really if you are going to prisonrape someone, wouldn't you pick the littlest guy with the least amount of guff?
tripleg
+1 -0
the least amount of guff and the most amount of stuff(ing)
the least amount of guff and the most amount of stuff(ing)
laserblade
+1 -0
Well, Teodor's also making the point that in prison, status matters. Cop killers are generally seen as the least suitable targets for prisonrape, while child molesters are seen as the most suitable targets, sometimes out of proportion to their physical rapeability.
Well, Teodor's also making the point that in prison, status matters. Cop killers are generally seen as the least suitable targets for prisonrape, while child molesters are seen as the most suitable targets, sometimes out of proportion to their physical rapeability.
tripleg
+0 -0
chubbied for the phrase: "out of proportion to their physical rapeability"
chubbied for the phrase: "out of proportion to their physical rapeability"
falseprophet
+2 -0
I think when you are in a situation where your rape is of the prison variety the amount of options you have is not really a plethora.
I think when you are in a situation where your rape is of the prison variety the amount of options you have is not really a plethora.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Also, the proper term is "terror-lay," or possibly "bitch up."
- I'll stop being a dick about terms when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Also, the proper term is "terror-lay," or possibly "bitch up."
- I'll stop being a dick about terms when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
plummet
+1 -0
most epic thing to read while baked as shit
teodor's amazing set-up for lyle's punchline fucking killed me, good looks on your shit onstad, you're the fucking man. you're my fucking bro right now. achewood is awesome again.
most epic thing to read while baked as shit
teodor's amazing set-up for lyle's punchline fucking killed me, good looks on your shit onstad, you're the fucking man. you're my fucking bro right now. achewood is awesome again.
pogo
+0 -0
Wish I still got baked!
Wish I still got baked!
hoboninja
+0 -0
But you have pills . Don't you?
But you have pills . Don't you?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I have never drunk alcohol or used drugs of any kind other than rare prescriptions.
I get baked on Achewood.
I have never drunk alcohol or used drugs of any kind other than rare prescriptions.
I get baked on Achewood.
speccer
+0 -0
Clean-five!
Clean-five!
pogo
+0 -0
Ah but pills can never replace the ganja.
Ah but pills can never replace the ganja.
kamet
+0 -0
It's so true.
It's so true.
tripleg
+0 -0
what if they're... ganja pills?!
what if they're... ganja pills?!
sje46
+0 -0
That's doubly bad!
That's doubly bad!
plummet
+0 -0
no, that's doubly awesome
no, that's doubly awesome
kamet
+0 -0
Fo shoooooo
Fo shoooooo
vadun
+0 -0
I'd eat that banana
I'd eat that banana
plummet
+0 -0
with lots of condensed milk?
with lots of condensed milk?
bumpishound
+0 -0
"Holy shit is that an alive talking stuffed otter's heroic banana???"
"Holy shit is that an alive talking stuffed otter's heroic banana???"
tripleg
+1 -0
i love that philippe must squat to communicate with underpants dan
i love that philippe must squat to communicate with underpants dan
1000hz
+5 -0
STOP.
Everybody look at Philippe's knees.
STOP.
Everybody look at Philippe's knees.
anemix23
+0 -0
They are almost as disturbing as that old strip where he opened his mouth.
They are almost as disturbing as that old strip where he opened his mouth.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Hammer-time.
Hammer-time.
asherdan
+1 -0
Bang! Now I'm glad I quick scrolled through the comments 'cause dude found the new thing here.
Philippe has got him some freaky ass otter knees. Kinda like Lyle has got him some disturbingly human like arms Philippe's knees have the 'chubby infant' look.
Bang! Now I'm glad I quick scrolled through the comments 'cause dude found the new thing here.
Philippe has got him some freaky ass otter knees. Kinda like Lyle has got him some disturbingly human like arms Philippe's knees have the 'chubby infant' look.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
STOP.
You are now aware of your tongue.
STOP.
You are now aware of your tongue.
speccer
+0 -0
That never worked on me, not sure why. It never felt awkward or anything.
On the other hand, "You are now breathing/blinking manually"...
That never worked on me, not sure why. It never felt awkward or anything.
On the other hand, "You are now breathing/blinking manually"...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Blinking by hand I can imagine, but breathing...? Do you just kind of reach in and gra the diaphragm and start... pumping .
Blinking by hand I can imagine, but breathing...? Do you just kind of reach in and gra the diaphragm and start... pumping .
plummet
+0 -0
no, but i will teach you how to do it
breathe in, hold it for a split second, and then let it out. inhale and repeat as necessary.
no, but i will teach you how to do it
breathe in, hold it for a split second, and then let it out. inhale and repeat as necessary.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Can I stop yet?
Can I stop yet?
plummet
+1 -0
yeah, whenever the novelty wears off you can just go right on ahead and let your CNS take over
yeah, whenever the novelty wears off you can just go right on ahead and let your CNS take over
xiaomimi
+8 -0
Today's Blogs
Roast Beef: First Rain.
Philippe: Lie Bot was around!
Today's Blogs
Roast Beef: First Rain.
Philippe: Lie Bot was around!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i need a day like Beef's soon.
i have a similar jacket and can't wait.
(but it will probably snow first.)
i need a day like Beef's soon.
i have a similar jacket and can't wait.
(but it will probably snow first.)
mrclarinet
+0 -0
It seems Lyle's dream in life is to be an angry sassy Mexican mother.
It seems Lyle's dream in life is to be an angry sassy Mexican mother.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Her red dress goes swish, swish.
Her red dress goes swish, swish.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
im her 4 da gang bang
im her 4 da gang bang
hamscout
+0 -1
f UR her, den eym 4im.
>bone bone bone<
f UR her, den eym 4im.
>bone bone bone<
kickstart
+0 -0
if I'm here AND you're here, shouldn't that make it our time?
if I'm here AND you're here, shouldn't that make it our time?
farqussus
+0 -0
next door. this is peeling oranges.
next door. this is peeling oranges.
baryonyx
+0 -0
This Flying Circus-esque response Eric Idle avatar:
Perfect Monty Python synergy.
This Flying Circus-esque response Eric Idle avatar:
Perfect Monty Python synergy.
baryonyx
+0 -0
There is actually a plus sign there, but only the wise can see it, Emperor.
There is actually a plus sign there, but only the wise can see it, Emperor.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It's a Simpsons reference...
It's a Simpsons reference...
baryonyx
+0 -0
OH NOOOO
CULTURRRRE
OH NOOOO
CULTURRRRE
plummet
+1 -0
his only weakness!
his only weakness!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's a man's life, in culture.
(that said, i know nothing but the main characters in the Simpsons.)
it's a man's life, in culture.
(that said, i know nothing but the main characters in the Simpsons.)
farqussus
+0 -0
I warned you lot. Sergeant, shut it down!
I warned you lot. Sergeant, shut it down!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Man, the ambiguity here is delicious. Either he is HERE for the gangbang, looking to get himself a piece, or he is HER for the gangbang, playing the lady's role for the rest of us. I propose a banana in the front AND back of his undies just to be sure.
Man, the ambiguity here is delicious. Either he is HERE for the gangbang, looking to get himself a piece, or he is HER for the gangbang, playing the lady's role for the rest of us. I propose a banana in the front AND back of his undies just to be sure.
kamet
+0 -0
I'd shake that cookie jar.
I'd shake that cookie jar.
mattylite
+0 -0
Bananas: Nature's double-dildos.
...Dildoes? Dildos. What the hell the word dildo is starting to look really weird to me here.
Bananas: Nature's double-dildos.
...Dildoes? Dildos. What the hell the word dildo is starting to look really weird to me here.
speccer
+0 -0
Possibly even Dildi
Possibly even Dildi
stereo
+0 -0
Dildax
Dildax
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Dildorides?
Dildorides?
davey-boy
+0 -0
What news of the North?
What news of the North?
stereo
+2 -0
The Northwest passage has been suffering blockages, but liberal application of heat and aromatic gasses seems to be improving the situation. Full penetration should be possible within one to five decades.
The Northwest passage has been suffering blockages, but liberal application of heat and aromatic gasses seems to be improving the situation. Full penetration should be possible within one to five decades.
awko
+0 -0
Dildoridoos?
Dildoridoos?
hamscout
+0 -0
Dil-diddly-a-re-noes?
(Good neighbor?)
Dil-diddly-a-re-noes?
(Good neighbor?)
autrepoupee
+0 -0
lyle is opening up a vomitorium.
also, Philippe is a dandy, a real fop - pass it on!
lyle is opening up a vomitorium.
also, Philippe is a dandy, a real fop - pass it on!
tbtabby
+0 -0
At least until he learns what a vomitorium actually is.
At least until he learns what a vomitorium actually is.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
MY WORLD IS DESTROYED
MY WORLD IS DESTROYED
autrepoupee
+0 -0
seriously though an entire building dedicated to vomiting out food so you can eat more food is representative of the height of decadence. I wish they really did exist, Rome would be a hell of a lot cooler if they did. Caligula all throwing up in some young boy's mouth, laughing, laughing, laughing.
seriously though an entire building dedicated to vomiting out food so you can eat more food is representative of the height of decadence. I wish they really did exist, Rome would be a hell of a lot cooler if they did. Caligula all throwing up in some young boy's mouth, laughing, laughing, laughing.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Don't be messing with my Malcom McDowell fantasies.
Don't be messing with my Malcom McDowell fantasies.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I'm just trying to build upon them! I'm with you though, he was hot as all get-out back in his heyday. Even now, he's pretty qt for an older guy.
I'm just trying to build upon them! I'm with you though, he was hot as all get-out back in his heyday. Even now, he's pretty qt for an older guy.
farqussus
+0 -0
It does exist, on the internet. It is a rule.
It does exist, on the internet. It is a rule.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
They weren't all that. Really the food back then wasn't so fantastic as to warrant it. We prefer getting tubes that suck the food out as it goes in these days. Science has really advanced the world of hedonism to an amazing degree. Here, put on this dress and I'll show you
They weren't all that. Really the food back then wasn't so fantastic as to warrant it. We prefer getting tubes that suck the food out as it goes in these days. Science has really advanced the world of hedonism to an amazing degree. Here, put on this dress and I'll show you
mikeronomicon
+0 -0
Every time I think of vomit anymore I just remember the bachelor party horror stories and think of nasty, vomit filled vag. The horror!
Every time I think of vomit anymore I just remember the bachelor party horror stories and think of nasty, vomit filled vag. The horror!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
OH JESUS OH GOD HORRIBLE HISTORIES HAVE LIED TO ME.
OH JESUS OH GOD HORRIBLE HISTORIES HAVE LIED TO ME.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Stay tuned for Philippe's thorough Medical Exam when he discovers the enemy inside him IS the Doctor!
Stay tuned for Philippe's thorough Medical Exam when he discovers the enemy inside him IS the Doctor!
hamscout
+1 -0
gee! he's so comforting that he kept both hands on my shoulders during the entire exam!
*i love you!*
gee! he's so comforting that he kept both hands on my shoulders during the entire exam!
*i love you!*
pogo
+0 -0
Ouch, I've had an icepack in my shorts for three days (hernia repair), so the idea of parking a Chiquita there is too painful to contemplate.
Ouch, I've had an icepack in my shorts for three days (hernia repair), so the idea of parking a Chiquita there is too painful to contemplate.
possums
+0 -0
Great. GREAT.
Great. GREAT.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Great!
Great!
mattylite
+0 -0
GREAT!
GREAT!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
JOB!
JOB!
davey-boy
+0 -0
Great Great Great!
From the FINNISH.
Double Subtitled
Great Great Great!
From the FINNISH.
Double Subtitled
redphillip
+1 -0
Ah, so rich, so full, this Achewood!
Too many things, each more splendid:
Panel 9, wherein Phillippe thinks it's fun to practice having Lyle be mean to him;
Panel 12: Wherein a Halloween costume is a ticket to Hard Time - "natural born life at the bottom of the prison food chain."
Panel 13: The infinite open set of deadly sins; ipecac pilates; What we need more of is Science!
This strip and these frames had me near hyperventilating I was laughing so hard. Woke the dogs up, even.
Ah, so rich, so full, this Achewood!
Too many things, each more splendid:
Panel 9, wherein Phillippe thinks it's fun to practice having Lyle be mean to him;
Panel 12: Wherein a Halloween costume is a ticket to Hard Time - "natural born life at the bottom of the prison food chain."
Panel 13: The infinite open set of deadly sins; ipecac pilates; What we need more of is Science!
This strip and these frames had me near hyperventilating I was laughing so hard. Woke the dogs up, even.
tragicone
+0 -0
Perhaps the most disjointed of Achewood comics?
Perhaps the most disjointed of Achewood comics?
thisistheworst
+0 -0
https://m.assetbar.com/uuabJt6Dt.gif
https://m.assetbar.com/uuabJt6Dt.gif
tragicone
+0 -0
i dunno, that one just has two stories in one.
i dunno, that one just has two stories in one.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=05142007
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=05142007
tragicone
+0 -0
That was drawn while hallucinating.
That was drawn while hallucinating.
deus
+0 -0
The achewood strip that invented additional extra 7 sins.
The achewood strip that invented additional extra 7 sins.
deus
+0 -0
deadly at that
deadly at that
deus
+0 -0
The achewood strip that invented additional extra 7 deadly sins.
FUCK
The achewood strip that invented additional extra 7 deadly sins.
FUCK
deus
+0 -0
I just want you all to know that i didint read the alt text before i posted this.
I just want you all to know that i didint read the alt text before i posted this.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Actually the Vatican did add 7 more deadly sins recently.
And I think (don't quote me on this) that one is pedophilia.
That's right folks, the Catholic church took something like SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS to come out AGAINST fucking kids.
Actually the Vatican did add 7 more deadly sins recently.
And I think (don't quote me on this) that one is pedophilia.
That's right folks, the Catholic church took something like SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS to come out AGAINST fucking kids.
tropicana
+0 -0
Except not quite.
They didn't call any of those "new sins" deadly , and paedophilia didn't really pop up except through a leading question from the reporter.
And, it's more like "almost two thousand" years, not seven hundred.
Holy fuck. What am I? Assetbars Catholic Church fact checker?
Except not quite.
They didn't call any of those "new sins" deadly , and paedophilia didn't really pop up except through a leading question from the reporter.
And, it's more like "almost two thousand" years, not seven hundred.
Holy fuck. What am I? Assetbars Catholic Church fact checker?
tropicana
+0 -0
"Assetbar's".
Fuck proofreading.
"Assetbar's".
Fuck proofreading.
talix18
+0 -0
It's all good. You are Assetbar's Catholic Church fact checker, not Assetbar's grammar and punctuation checker.
It's all good. You are Assetbar's Catholic Church fact checker, not Assetbar's grammar and punctuation checker.
tropicana
+0 -0
That is incredibly reassuring, coming from Beef-as-Socrates.
That is incredibly reassuring, coming from Beef-as-Socrates.
talix18
+1 -0
Is it? Or am I... doing philosophy ?
(I'm not. It is.)
Is it? Or am I... doing philosophy ?
(I'm not. It is.)
lechatbotte
+2 -0
More facts for consideration: I will here make a distinction between Original Christianity, Orthodox Christianity and Catholic Christianity. That the Catholic built upon the Orthodox which arose within the original is assumed.
So, in the Original forms of Christianity, there was a rule written down as a form of catechism for those who wished to be baptised. This rule is currently found in the first six chapters of the ultra-rare Didache (or Teaching of the Twelve Apostles - cir. 120 C.E.). In this list of things to do (and not do), "pederasty" is featured. Pedophilia is one of many things covered by this blanket term. So, it's always been a no-no.
The concept of Seven Deadly Sins started as a numbered list of things not to do that were applied to monastic orders of early Orthodox Christianity, and derived as much from Greek philosophy as from the scriptures. Truly, it is the marriage of Greek thinking to Original Christian thought that defines Orthodoxy.
Starting from a list of eight by Evagrius (345-399 C.E.), St. Gregory the Great (the first "real" Pope, who took the reigns of political power in the vacuum left by the fall of the Western Roman Empire - 590 C.E.) adapted the current list of Seven Deadly Sins, so this concept of seven sins that are that much worse than any others is more a feature of Catholic Christianity than anything that came before it.
Later Reformation and Protestant forms of Christianity rejected the notion of seven sins worse than any other on scriptural authorities that indicate any sin is too much and "deadly", so the Seven Deadly Sins remains a thing more or less uniquely Catholic.
So, more like 1,500 years than either 700 or 2,000.
But since Catholicism inherited everything that had come before, it could be argued that the anti-pedophilia/pederasty rules go back to day one.
Any questions?
More facts for consideration: I will here make a distinction between Original Christianity, Orthodox Christianity and Catholic Christianity. That the Catholic built upon the Orthodox which arose within the original is assumed.
So, in the Original forms of Christianity, there was a rule written down as a form of catechism for those who wished to be baptised. This rule is currently found in the first six chapters of the ultra-rare Didache (or Teaching of the Twelve Apostles - cir. 120 C.E.). In this list of things to do (and not do), "pederasty" is featured. Pedophilia is one of many things covered by this blanket term. So, it's always been a no-no.
The concept of Seven Deadly Sins started as a numbered list of things not to do that were applied to monastic orders of early Orthodox Christianity, and derived as much from Greek philosophy as from the scriptures. Truly, it is the marriage of Greek thinking to Original Christian thought that defines Orthodoxy.
Starting from a list of eight by Evagrius (345-399 C.E.), St. Gregory the Great (the first "real" Pope, who took the reigns of political power in the vacuum left by the fall of the Western Roman Empire - 590 C.E.) adapted the current list of Seven Deadly Sins, so this concept of seven sins that are that much worse than any others is more a feature of Catholic Christianity than anything that came before it.
Later Reformation and Protestant forms of Christianity rejected the notion of seven sins worse than any other on scriptural authorities that indicate any sin is too much and "deadly", so the Seven Deadly Sins remains a thing more or less uniquely Catholic.
So, more like 1,500 years than either 700 or 2,000.
But since Catholicism inherited everything that had come before, it could be argued that the anti-pedophilia/pederasty rules go back to day one.
Any questions?
kickstart
+0 -0
I have two questions. "How much" and "give it to me."
I have two questions. "How much" and "give it to me."
lechatbotte
+0 -0
?
?
farqussus
+0 -0
I have a question. How can you use the word fact in the same paragraph as Catholicism?
I have a question. How can you use the word fact in the same paragraph as Catholicism?
speccer
+0 -0
Best I can tell, he's using in the same context most history is considered "fact".
Best I can tell, he's using in the same context most history is considered "fact".
farqussus
+0 -0
so word of mouth
so word of mouth
lechatbotte
+0 -0
There's also a paper trail. Fact is, the view of Christian history presented above is not the typically accepted one, and (while completely demonstrable) wouldn't be the word of mouth you'd find most places. But thank you for assuming that I was speaking (repeating) out of my ass!
There's also a paper trail. Fact is, the view of Christian history presented above is not the typically accepted one, and (while completely demonstrable) wouldn't be the word of mouth you'd find most places. But thank you for assuming that I was speaking (repeating) out of my ass!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
How can I use the word "fact" and "Catholicism" in the same paragraph? Oh, that's easy!
The fact is that the Roman Catholic Church exists. It is a fact that it exists today, and that it existed back through history. It existed in 590 C.E., and that's a fact. A church called "Catholic" (i.e. "United") existed prior to 590 C.E., and was the result of Eucumenical Councils held under Constantine, and may or may not bear any resemblance at all to the church still using the name today. This points up the difference between "Catholic" generic and "Roman Catholic" specific.
It is a fact that both "fact" and "Catholicism" are words. It is a fact that they are in the dictionary. It is a fact that I used them in the same sentence and paragraph.
Note that none of these statements of fact about Catholicism state that it's world view or cosmology are factual. Note that I don't deny them either. Any beef that you have with Catholicism and Catholics is quite aside of whether or not they/it actually exist.
How can I use the word "fact" and "Catholicism" in the same paragraph? Oh, that's easy!
The fact is that the Roman Catholic Church exists. It is a fact that it exists today, and that it existed back through history. It existed in 590 C.E., and that's a fact. A church called "Catholic" (i.e. "United") existed prior to 590 C.E., and was the result of Eucumenical Councils held under Constantine, and may or may not bear any resemblance at all to the church still using the name today. This points up the difference between "Catholic" generic and "Roman Catholic" specific.
It is a fact that both "fact" and "Catholicism" are words. It is a fact that they are in the dictionary. It is a fact that I used them in the same sentence and paragraph.
Note that none of these statements of fact about Catholicism state that it's world view or cosmology are factual. Note that I don't deny them either. Any beef that you have with Catholicism and Catholics is quite aside of whether or not they/it actually exist.
farqussus
+0 -0
How dreary.
How dreary.
abe
+0 -0
I didn't read a word of it, but I chubbied it.
I didn't read a word of it, but I chubbied it.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Chubbied it without reading it? !. Take it back!!
Chubbied it without reading it? !. Take it back!!
i_love_kate
+3 -0
Fuck... Proofreading!
[i]If you're grammar ain't come right
It don't mean your prose ain't tight
Don't be frettin' 'bout your spelling
If it's wrong, well I ain't tellin'.
The thing that tears me up the most
Is reading through before you post!
Fuck... Proofreading!
[i]If you're grammar ain't come right
It don't mean your prose ain't tight
Don't be frettin' 'bout your spelling
If it's wrong, well I ain't tellin'.
The thing that tears me up the most
Is reading through before you post!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fuck AssetBar.
Fuck AssetBar.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Hilarious, mildly delicious irony.
Hilarious, mildly delicious irony.
sje46
+0 -0
I love I love Kate.
I love I love Kate.
tripleg
+0 -0
I love I love I love Kate
I love I love I love Kate
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I love R.E.M.
I love R.E.M.
farqussus
+0 -0
But that's silly.
But that's silly.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
i_love_kate says "I love R.E.M.", therefore: Kate = R.E.M.?
i_love_kate says "I love R.E.M.", therefore: Kate = R.E.M.?
sje46
+0 -0
Shocking!
I think I just lost my religion!
(Now, where did I put it?]
Shocking!
I think I just lost my religion!
(Now, where did I put it?]
irondave
+0 -0
You are now.
You are now.
deus
+0 -0
farqussus
+0 -0
I know. I know.
I know. I know.
kamet
+0 -0
But
But
kamet
+2 -0
tbtabby
+1 -1
In Panel 10, Phillippe and Lyle are starring in "The Secret Princess and Her Oppressive Authority Figure 5." Lyle got the part after the director saw his stuning performance in "Jungle Animals in Decidedly Non-Jungle Situations."
In Panel 10, Phillippe and Lyle are starring in "The Secret Princess and Her Oppressive Authority Figure 5." Lyle got the part after the director saw his stuning performance in "Jungle Animals in Decidedly Non-Jungle Situations."
c_dizzle
+0 -0
So Philippe does look like a cocktail weenie! The shoes coupled with the baby fat-knee-chub is precious.
So Philippe does look like a cocktail weenie! The shoes coupled with the baby fat-knee-chub is precious.
farqussus
+0 -0
Precious, maybe, if you think failed-thyroid-water-retention is PRECIOUS!
Precious, maybe, if you think failed-thyroid-water-retention is PRECIOUS!
hamscout
+0 -0
do you think it is rad to have water-on-the-knee, c_dizzle?
Do you??
do you think it is rad to have water-on-the-knee, c_dizzle?
Do you??
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i'm going to put my foot so far up your ass that the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst.
one of my friends jokingly said this to me in sixth grade.
i wonder who learned it to him.
i'm going to put my foot so far up your ass that the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst.
one of my friends jokingly said this to me in sixth grade.
i wonder who learned it to him.
farqussus
+0 -0
The same movie the guy at work heard it from, I'll bet.
The same movie the guy at work heard it from, I'll bet.
farqussus
+0 -0
Then again, it might be a Big Punisher lyric, which makes sense.
Then again, it might be a Big Punisher lyric, which makes sense.
farqussus
+0 -0
Then again again, it might be from Major Payne. Fuck you Google.
Then again again, it might be from Major Payne. Fuck you Google.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Farqussus knows his stuff.
Farqussus knows his stuff.
baryonyx
+1 -0
Someone where I work recently named their baby Precious.
We'll see how that goes.
Someone where I work recently named their baby Precious.
We'll see how that goes.
hamscout
+0 -0
DON'T YOU HURT MY DOG!!!
DON'T YOU HURT MY DOG!!!
eatmorekix
+0 -0
ain't no princess get to have cankles like those
ain't no princess get to have cankles like those
ellameno
+1 -0
Do you think that it is wrong for a boy to be a princess
or do you agree that is it ok
Do you think that it is wrong for a boy to be a princess
or do you agree that is it ok
redphillip
+0 -0
As a matter of principle I believe that each boy and girl gets to decide whether to be princess or prince, and which item of fruit or vegetable to port about in their little panties. Still, now I suppose we'll have to have a special edition Achewood T-shirt with the caption reading " Here Comes a Special Boy Princess! "
As a matter of principle I believe that each boy and girl gets to decide whether to be princess or prince, and which item of fruit or vegetable to port about in their little panties. Still, now I suppose we'll have to have a special edition Achewood T-shirt with the caption reading " Here Comes a Special Boy Princess! "
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Does...Lyle... care about Phillipe and...what he has to say? A bit? In the beginning? Squirt is somewhat affectionate for normal people/tigers. It was only reasonable that he would be distracted though.
Does...Lyle... care about Phillipe and...what he has to say? A bit? In the beginning? Squirt is somewhat affectionate for normal people/tigers. It was only reasonable that he would be distracted though.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
i can't wait to use "ipecac pilates" in conversation.
i can't wait to use "ipecac pilates" in conversation.
delandelandelan
+2 -0
I know people who like Mike Patton so I figure I could start a rumour about another side project.
I know people who like Mike Patton so I figure I could start a rumour about another side project.
tripleg
+1 -0
i can't wait to use "ipecac pilates" in my fitness regimen.
i can't wait to use "ipecac pilates" in my fitness regimen.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i will begin to do 'iambic pilates'.
i will begin to do 'iambic pilates'.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
2'd.
this one went right over my head. did not get it. am i missing something? a cultural reference? banana in underwear.. fruit of the loom, chiquita banana, make sense?
2'd.
this one went right over my head. did not get it. am i missing something? a cultural reference? banana in underwear.. fruit of the loom, chiquita banana, make sense?
singtralala
+0 -0
panel 6. nuff said.
panel 6. nuff said.
susurrus
+0 -0
This is a thought that passes through my mind often.
This is a thought that passes through my mind often.
zeal
+0 -0
Lyle looks like an aging football coach from the South dressed for wings night at the Titty Twister. I shudder to contemplate his conception of "science."
Lyle looks like an aging football coach from the South dressed for wings night at the Titty Twister. I shudder to contemplate his conception of "science."
zombiezero
+0 -0
I shudder to contemplate his conception.
I shudder to contemplate his conception.
davey-boy
+1 -0
"ACE OF SPADES! ACE OF SPADES!"
"ACE OF SPADES! ACE OF SPADES!"
mattylite
+2 -0
I used to like being a princess too. Only it was this princess:
I used to like being a princess too. Only it was this princess:
sweetlips
+0 -0
4.3? Seriously guys?
4.3? Seriously guys?
baryonyx
+0 -0
I too am baffled. This is a damn fine strip.
A damn fine strip indeed .
I too am baffled. This is a damn fine strip.
A damn fine strip indeed .
falseprophet
+1 -0
Teodor lives in perpetual fear that some sinister influence will cause Philippe to go Off-Broadway.
Teodor lives in perpetual fear that some sinister influence will cause Philippe to go Off-Broadway.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I think I'm too drunk to get this strip. I'll try again in the morning.
I think I'm too drunk to get this strip. I'll try again in the morning.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Actually, you just need one more drink.
Actually, you just need one more drink.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
TWO MORE SIPS.
TWO MORE SIPS.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Aw we're gonna get pictures of this girls snatch!
Aw we're gonna get pictures of this girls snatch!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I get it now.
I get it now.
drskradley
+0 -0
I don't recall a Disney movie about a latino Cinderella (or at least one with stereotypical latino-accented stepsisters, unless we're talking about that one Speedy Gonzales cartoon), but I am not going to argue with Lyle and assume he is right.
I don't recall a Disney movie about a latino Cinderella (or at least one with stereotypical latino-accented stepsisters, unless we're talking about that one Speedy Gonzales cartoon), but I am not going to argue with Lyle and assume he is right.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Cinderfella'.
Cinderfella'.
stereo
+0 -0
Ascuarita
Ascuarita
sje46
+0 -0
I saw this!
But her father was like Japanese and her mother black and stuff.
Unless that was a different Cinderella.
I saw this!
But her father was like Japanese and her mother black and stuff.
Unless that was a different Cinderella.
terebikun
+0 -0
Will "Ipecac Pilates" replace "Technicolor Rainbow" as my Achewood-related vomit euphemism-du jour? Yeah probably.
Will "Ipecac Pilates" replace "Technicolor Rainbow" as my Achewood-related vomit euphemism-du jour? Yeah probably.
milkpants
+0 -0
5 for jota
5 for jota
coffeeannan
+0 -0
Somehow this strip always struck me as more surreal than, say, Cartilage Head or Ray and Beef's journey through Hell.
You suck, chica!
Somehow this strip always struck me as more surreal than, say, Cartilage Head or Ray and Beef's journey through Hell.
You suck, chica!
grizgrin
+0 -0
Fuck, I just blew coffee all over my keyboard. This is an expensive laptop, dude!
Fuck, I just blew coffee all over my keyboard. This is an expensive laptop, dude!
I'm not sure what's more unsettling, that Phillipe wants to be a male princess or how Lyle defines one.
A comment left by hamscout was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by QingofChina, Mustakrakesh, rachel)
DING!
Correct!
10 points.
Hey Hamscout, I'll be going to the Chicago signing. Get in touch with me on #achewood.
And don't forget your banana.
His name is Dan.
dan... GELDER ?
mysterious origin stories revealed itt
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by solobuttons, robbingdog, Talbain, JonMW, Lumus, mrblank91, mnemodomi)
no, you're not, thats a very silly statement.
there ain't nothing silly about underpants dan no sir not too much at all.
Don't be so quick to judge banana-related claims. There are some very disturbing banana facts out there.
Tuesday's coming up; did you bring your coat?
I live in a giant bucket.
My SPOON is TOO BIG.
I'm feeling fat and sassy.
DOYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Hey now, that's my line!
My SPOON is too big.
This shows that I understand the reference.
I know this reference, hey I get the joke!
why would one bananna grab another bananna?
Because he just realized they were both spelled wrong.
I am going to be the first (possibly) to vocalise the theory that every panel after #3 takes place in Philippe's imagination.
Dude. That's like some trippy Mulholland Drive bullshit right there.
Don't flashbacks/imaginations have a darker background?
They tend to have a lot of soft focus, too.
that's ... that's just a question that I don't want to know the answer to.
This is the most insightful post on the entire Internet
I'm violating a cardinal rule here, but wanted to point this out. Teodor has hell of good reasons for avoiding the slammer:
He is not big on ass-rape.
A comment left by changuitotuerto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Cracklewater, Fathington, campincarl)
more proper?
It might be less improper.
Grammer want you to stop calling. It's over.
Bollocks to me.
It might have worked better as "Gramma", anyway.
I think it's funnier when the line is being delivered by a toothless woodsy redneck.*
*heard in my mind
You have redeemed my typo and I sincerely thank you, hamscout.
Good thing all the Kelsey jokes were done last time.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the idea of republican President Grammer, or his constant exhortation of "tossed salads" in the Frasier theme song...
That isn't the correct definition of "princess"?