hendetta
+6 -0
YOU'LL ASK WON'T YOU? REALLY AND TRULY ASK?
YOU'LL ASK WON'T YOU? REALLY AND TRULY ASK?
gormster
+2 -0
I know, right? Steve got a bit too hardcore for me there. I thought he was supposed to be the best.
I know, right? Steve got a bit too hardcore for me there. I thought he was supposed to be the best.
falseprophet
+0 -0
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tthug, Feste, Gumfish, Towel, streever)
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tthug, Feste, Gumfish, Towel, streever)
gingerbreadman
+5 -0
I know five people recognized this as good enough to chubby, but I can't sit here silently while you vilify DeNeuve. His only sin that I've seen is that he cares too much.
I know five people recognized this as good enough to chubby, but I can't sit here silently while you vilify DeNeuve. His only sin that I've seen is that he cares too much.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
Steve DeNeuve is a good man, but few people like him. He would never harm a woman, but they feel uncomfortable being alone with him. It isn't his fault that he upsets people. The Good Lord saw fit to give him a cleft palate and the cold little eyes of a lobster. He makes a living as best he can, transporting animals across country. Then he goes home to his large, tidy flat, to eat microwave meals and watch documentaries.
Steve DeNeuve is a good man, but few people like him. He would never harm a woman, but they feel uncomfortable being alone with him. It isn't his fault that he upsets people. The Good Lord saw fit to give him a cleft palate and the cold little eyes of a lobster. He makes a living as best he can, transporting animals across country. Then he goes home to his large, tidy flat, to eat microwave meals and watch documentaries.
ratacattt
+0 -0
The Pleasure of My Company: A Novel by Steve Martin
Publishers Weekly
Martin's first novella, Shopgirl (2000), was a revelation, a compassionate yet cool, meticulously crafted tale of a young woman's affair with an older, successful man not what most readers were expecting from the famed comic actor and author of Pure Drivel. Martin's second novella continues the enjoyment, offering another story with a conscience, one funnier than Shopgirl but put together just as smartly, if very differently. Martin forgoes the distanced omniscient narration of Shopgirl by plunking readers into the head of one the odder yet more charming protagonists in recent fiction, Daniel Pecan Cambridge, a gentle soul suffering from a mild mix of autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Daniel, 33, lives in a rundown Santa Monica apartment, his life constricted by an armor of defensive habit (all the lightbulbs in his apartment must equal 1,125 watts; he can't step over curbs so can cross streets only where two opposing driveways align, etc.), his dull days punctuated only by imagined romances and visits by his student social worker, lovely and kind Clarissa. Daniel's ways (a product of child abuse, Martin shows with subtlety) are challenged when Clarissa and her infant son, Teddy, move in to escape an abusive husband; when Daniel wins a contest as "Most Average American" and must give a speech to claim the $5,000 prize; and when his beloved grandmother dies, sending him on a road trip of discovery back home. This novella is a delight, embodying a satisfying story arc, a jeweler's eye for detail, intelligent pacing and a clean, sturdy prose style. What's most remarkable about it, though, is its tenderness, a complex mix of wit, poignancy and Martin's clear, great affection for his characters. Many readers are going to love this brief, big-hearted book. Agent, Esther Newberg. 250,000 first printing; major ad/promo, including Today Show appearance. (Oct. 1) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
The Pleasure of My Company: A Novel by Steve Martin
Publishers Weekly
Martin's first novella, Shopgirl (2000), was a revelation, a compassionate yet cool, meticulously crafted tale of a young woman's affair with an older, successful man not what most readers were expecting from the famed comic actor and author of Pure Drivel. Martin's second novella continues the enjoyment, offering another story with a conscience, one funnier than Shopgirl but put together just as smartly, if very differently. Martin forgoes the distanced omniscient narration of Shopgirl by plunking readers into the head of one the odder yet more charming protagonists in recent fiction, Daniel Pecan Cambridge, a gentle soul suffering from a mild mix of autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Daniel, 33, lives in a rundown Santa Monica apartment, his life constricted by an armor of defensive habit (all the lightbulbs in his apartment must equal 1,125 watts; he can't step over curbs so can cross streets only where two opposing driveways align, etc.), his dull days punctuated only by imagined romances and visits by his student social worker, lovely and kind Clarissa. Daniel's ways (a product of child abuse, Martin shows with subtlety) are challenged when Clarissa and her infant son, Teddy, move in to escape an abusive husband; when Daniel wins a contest as "Most Average American" and must give a speech to claim the $5,000 prize; and when his beloved grandmother dies, sending him on a road trip of discovery back home. This novella is a delight, embodying a satisfying story arc, a jeweler's eye for detail, intelligent pacing and a clean, sturdy prose style. What's most remarkable about it, though, is its tenderness, a complex mix of wit, poignancy and Martin's clear, great affection for his characters. Many readers are going to love this brief, big-hearted book. Agent, Esther Newberg. 250,000 first printing; major ad/promo, including Today Show appearance. (Oct. 1) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
dacapn
+0 -0
fuckass.
fuckass.
ratacattt
+0 -0
nice avatar. a little high brow and intellectual, but still okay.
nice avatar. a little high brow and intellectual, but still okay.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Where is your unsubscribe link?
Where is your unsubscribe link?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
As far as I can work out Steve is either going through some sort of traumatic flashback to a time when he forgot to ask for his mother for his favorite dish, or he's just hoping that Phillipe's mother will ask him in for some of that buttered rice. Dude likes butter. That much is clear.
As far as I can work out Steve is either going through some sort of traumatic flashback to a time when he forgot to ask for his mother for his favorite dish, or he's just hoping that Phillipe's mother will ask him in for some of that buttered rice. Dude likes butter. That much is clear.
raticus
+0 -0
Since he's the best, maybe he's just going along with it in a child-like manner - the dish is so great, he's acting as if the thought of forgetting to ask about it is shocking. "Say it ain't so!"
This comes from interpreting the missing eyebrows as raised (especially since the crow's feet also disappear). Problem is that means he doesn't actually have eyebrows and those are just folds of brow-skin...
Since he's the best, maybe he's just going along with it in a child-like manner - the dish is so great, he's acting as if the thought of forgetting to ask about it is shocking. "Say it ain't so!"
This comes from interpreting the missing eyebrows as raised (especially since the crow's feet also disappear). Problem is that means he doesn't actually have eyebrows and those are just folds of brow-skin...
legaltenderness
+1 -0
The near-desire to see Steve turn out to be a madman says more about the message boarders than it does about Steve. He's just a chubby fella who found his calling transporting small animals. He's got a right to be good at that.
The near-desire to see Steve turn out to be a madman says more about the message boarders than it does about Steve. He's just a chubby fella who found his calling transporting small animals. He's got a right to be good at that.
spazdor
+0 -0
No one trusts a grown man who's good with children anymore. It's sad.
No one trusts a grown man who's good with children anymore. It's sad.
dacapn
+0 -0
my man Steve was channelling Nice Pete in panel 8 for realz.
my man Steve was channelling Nice Pete in panel 8 for realz.
twoheadedboy
+12 -0
Steve is making me pretty uncomfortable. Like, I'm wondering just how well he'd get along with Nice Pete.
Steve is making me pretty uncomfortable. Like, I'm wondering just how well he'd get along with Nice Pete.
decoy9697
+17 -0
In the last strip I was wondering if he was Philippe's father. Now I'm wondering if he is Phillipe from the future.
In the last strip I was wondering if he was Philippe's father. Now I'm wondering if he is Phillipe from the future.
semi_retarded
+0 -0
I know I was totally feeling this way too. Man, I just never trust the Achewood characters with the real tiny hollow eyes though. Something just kinda soulless.
I know I was totally feeling this way too. Man, I just never trust the Achewood characters with the real tiny hollow eyes though. Something just kinda soulless.
raticus
+14 -0
[IMGS OFF]
https://img180.imageshack.us/img180/3403/rbtetrisdoom.png
Nightmare fuel .
[IMGS OFF]
https://img180.imageshack.us/img180/3403/rbtetrisdoom.png
Nightmare fuel .
jhunter
+1 -0
Tiny eyes, I feel the magic between you and I-I-I.
Tiny eyes, I feel the magic between you and I-I-I.
xenoterranos
+0 -0
So what you're saying is "Fuck you, Teador."
So what you're saying is "Fuck you, Teador."
semi_retarded
+0 -0
his eyes ain't tiny they're ovular!
his eyes ain't tiny they're ovular!
shelbydavis
+0 -0
You blew my mind there, man, but I think bryner vv is on to something. It's a setup, and Steve's playing Michael Jennings to Philipe's Michael Jennings.
You blew my mind there, man, but I think bryner vv is on to something. It's a setup, and Steve's playing Michael Jennings to Philipe's Michael Jennings.
lordparadise
+6 -0
In the future, Philippe is five.
In the future, Philippe is five.
belgand
+0 -0
How old was Philippe in the past?
How old was Philippe in the past?
mockereo
+0 -0
Five. man why do people even bother anymore
Five. man why do people even bother anymore
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Because of a problem?
Because of a problem?
skeleton69crew
+0 -0
Probably not that well. It's rare for two bat-shit crazy people, or Stigma males, to be in phase.
Probably not that well. It's rare for two bat-shit crazy people, or Stigma males, to be in phase.
crom
+1 -0
I noted in the last strip that he was like Nice Pete, but without the simmering homicidal rage. It's like, "Steve, what's it like ferrying animals across the country?" And he turns, and there's an awkward pause. "It's like, it's like cooking a hamburger on a pancake griddle ..."
I noted in the last strip that he was like Nice Pete, but without the simmering homicidal rage. It's like, "Steve, what's it like ferrying animals across the country?" And he turns, and there's an awkward pause. "It's like, it's like cooking a hamburger on a pancake griddle ..."
shouyin
+3 -0
I was genuinely the most afraid I've ever been reading an Achewood strip when I saw Deneuve's face.
Granted it's five in the morning and I've been writing an essay on Kierkegaard since noon but it was still Goddamn harrowing.
I was genuinely the most afraid I've ever been reading an Achewood strip when I saw Deneuve's face.
Granted it's five in the morning and I've been writing an essay on Kierkegaard since noon but it was still Goddamn harrowing.
boheeka
+0 -0
No kidding man, that guy is sending a chill up and down my parts.
Granted I'm in a similar situation (five in the morning, trying to write for my independent study).
No kidding man, that guy is sending a chill up and down my parts.
Granted I'm in a similar situation (five in the morning, trying to write for my independent study).
strike_reyhi
+0 -0
I was also writing a paper yesterday at 5. what the hell.
I was also writing a paper yesterday at 5. what the hell.
cracklewater
+0 -0
"It was years before I learned my dad made that burger from OTTER MEAT."
It's hard to tell with the naturally split lip that most of the animals have, but Steve's visible incisors make him look like he has an actual cleft palate.
Or perhaps he was once one of Esteban Vihaio's disobedient whores...
"It was years before I learned my dad made that burger from OTTER MEAT."
It's hard to tell with the naturally split lip that most of the animals have, but Steve's visible incisors make him look like he has an actual cleft palate.
Or perhaps he was once one of Esteban Vihaio's disobedient whores...
hatstand_mcq
+9 -0
Esteban Vihaio's Disobedient Whores sounds like a book by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
Esteban Vihaio's Disobedient Whores sounds like a book by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
i_love_kate
+14 -0
"Esteban Vihaio became first aware that his favourite whore, Amelia, had died, when he rose in the morning to milk his cow and all that emerged from the swollen teat were bitter ashes."
"Esteban Vihaio became first aware that his favourite whore, Amelia, had died, when he rose in the morning to milk his cow and all that emerged from the swollen teat were bitter ashes."
invidious
+1 -0
Keeping with Marquez's M.O., Vihaio is guaranteed to have an enormous penis.
Keeping with Marquez's M.O., Vihaio is guaranteed to have an enormous penis.
cracklewater
+1 -0
I have painstakingly created the perfect mock-up of that wonderful tome:
[IMGS OFF]
I have painstakingly created the perfect mock-up of that wonderful tome:
[IMGS OFF]
daidai
+3 -0
How anticlimactic.
How anticlimactic.
thinman
+1 -0
Actually, it sounds like the most AWESOME. BAND. NAME. EVER.
Actually, it sounds like the most AWESOME. BAND. NAME. EVER.
strike_reyhi
+1 -0
"philippe the otter white meat."
"philippe the otter white meat."
strike_reyhi
+0 -0
if only I had messed up bbcode, it would have drawn away from the fact that I should have put a comma after philippe.
if only I had messed up bbcode, it would have drawn away from the fact that I should have put a comma after philippe.
nagash
+0 -0
Ain't nothing wrong with that face heah' boy
Can't you... See
Ain't nothing wrong with that face heah' boy
Can't you... See
aperson
+2 -0
I'm guessing from the alt text that Steve is a big pisser.
I'm guessing from the alt text that Steve is a big pisser.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I wonder how discrete use of the convenience tank could be -- being that they are sharing the backseat.
I wonder how discrete use of the convenience tank could be -- being that they are sharing the backseat.
thinman
+0 -0
Steve DeNeuve seems like the kind of guy who would be willing to conveniently hold up a sheet for your discretion.
He also seems like he may be the kind of guy who would wear a mans small bowel as a garter belt. I haven't decided which I think is more likely yet.
Steve DeNeuve seems like the kind of guy who would be willing to conveniently hold up a sheet for your discretion.
He also seems like he may be the kind of guy who would wear a mans small bowel as a garter belt. I haven't decided which I think is more likely yet.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
like a small mixing bowel? [[wink]]
like a small mixing bowel? [[wink]]
daidai
+0 -0
Rod Huggins?
Rod Huggins?
bengreens
+0 -0
ahhhh, is THAT why people write "discrete" when they mean "discreet" . . . because of the spelling of "discretion"? I never thought of that before.
ahhhh, is THAT why people write "discrete" when they mean "discreet" . . . because of the spelling of "discretion"? I never thought of that before.
cracklewater
+0 -0
discreet - adjective, careful not to attract attention or give offence.
discrete - adjective, individually separate and distinct.
I can't figure out why people (or a particular country) spell 'centre' as 'center', but don't then go on to use words like 'centeral' and 'centerifugal'.
The US still has 'acre' and 'mediocre', though. So there are times when US English does remember that 're' can be pronounced 'er'.
I eagerly await the purging of the confusing 'le' ending! Bottel! Cattel! Battel!
discreet - adjective, careful not to attract attention or give offence.
discrete - adjective, individually separate and distinct.
I can't figure out why people (or a particular country) spell 'centre' as 'center', but don't then go on to use words like 'centeral' and 'centerifugal'.
The US still has 'acre' and 'mediocre', though. So there are times when US English does remember that 're' can be pronounced 'er'.
I eagerly await the purging of the confusing 'le' ending! Bottel! Cattel! Battel!
cracklewater
+0 -0
(also: sorry, I realise you weren't confused about the two different words. Let's just say I was getting them straight in my own head)
(also: sorry, I realise you weren't confused about the two different words. Let's just say I was getting them straight in my own head)
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Were you being indiscrete, or indiscreet?
Were you being indiscrete, or indiscreet?
invidious
+1 -0
Look who's being a dick about terms!
Look who's being a dick about terms!
bengreens
+0 -0
ah, thank you, I was working up the teensiest bit of umbrage before I saw this explanation.
ah, thank you, I was working up the teensiest bit of umbrage before I saw this explanation.
sawyer9000
+0 -0
If it was 5:30 when they left and its many hours later now why is it still dark?
If it was 5:30 when they left and its many hours later now why is it still dark?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You're forgetting about time zones.
You're forgetting about time zones.
cracklewater
+0 -0
They may have been driving for 14 hours or more.
If they were travelling east out of the west coast time zone, would they be jumping forward more hours than they actually drove? Or would they have to drive faster than 900mph to achieve this?
They may have been driving for 14 hours or more.
If they were travelling east out of the west coast time zone, would they be jumping forward more hours than they actually drove? Or would they have to drive faster than 900mph to achieve this?
snugelgguns
+43 -0
According to google, the drive should take somewhere in the ballpark of 40 hours. With A guy like Steve Deneuve we're gonna see less time than that Time zones add an effective 2 hours to the trip. The two animals left Achewood at roughly 6 AM, and arrived in Ohio in darkness, which means (early in the month of April) sometime between 8 PM and 7 AM.
Assuming they left at 6 am in California, the 40 hour estimate gets them to Ohio around midnight of the next day. Even if Steve Deneuve moves faster than Google maps predicts, they could be expected to arrive sometime after 8 that night.
It all seems to check out UNTIL you realize that 151 is the year in which the emperor Antonius relegalized circumcision in the Roman empire! My suspicions are rapidly be confirmed.
According to google, the drive should take somewhere in the ballpark of 40 hours. With A guy like Steve Deneuve we're gonna see less time than that Time zones add an effective 2 hours to the trip. The two animals left Achewood at roughly 6 AM, and arrived in Ohio in darkness, which means (early in the month of April) sometime between 8 PM and 7 AM.
Assuming they left at 6 am in California, the 40 hour estimate gets them to Ohio around midnight of the next day. Even if Steve Deneuve moves faster than Google maps predicts, they could be expected to arrive sometime after 8 that night.
It all seems to check out UNTIL you realize that 151 is the year in which the emperor Antonius relegalized circumcision in the Roman empire! My suspicions are rapidly be confirmed.
snugelgguns
+1 -0
shoulda proofread that.
shoulda proofread that.
tekende
+0 -0
Aw, that's okay, snugelgguns, you did a real good job anyway.
Aw, that's okay, snugelgguns, you did a real good job anyway.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Top drawer, quite.
Top drawer, quite.
strike_reyhi
+0 -0
So top drawer that it is, in fact, on top of the counter.
So top drawer that it is, in fact, on top of the counter.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Waaaay upper crust here. Like, probably stratospheric.
Waaaay upper crust here. Like, probably stratospheric.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
When you're old enough to have and drive a muscle car from the Heartland to California, you will realize that google lied.
It's right around a 24 hour drive nonstop which is how Steve rolls.
When you're old enough to have and drive a muscle car from the Heartland to California, you will realize that google lied.
It's right around a 24 hour drive nonstop which is how Steve rolls.
invidious
+4 -0
Google is also unnecessarily concerned with speed limits. Consider...
Achewood is in the San Francisco Bay Area, I think it has been established. To travel back to the midwest, most of the journey would take place on I-80. Once you get east of Reno, NV, the unofficial highway speed of I-80 is somewhere between 85 and 170 MPH.
Google is also unnecessarily concerned with speed limits. Consider...
Achewood is in the San Francisco Bay Area, I think it has been established. To travel back to the midwest, most of the journey would take place on I-80. Once you get east of Reno, NV, the unofficial highway speed of I-80 is somewhere between 85 and 170 MPH.
strike_reyhi
+0 -0
I recall hitting around 120 with my Dad in a fully loaded Peterbilt semi on I80. That was pretty awesome.
I recall hitting around 120 with my Dad in a fully loaded Peterbilt semi on I80. That was pretty awesome.
ratacattt
+1 -0
that's nothing! My dad took me along in his fully loaded Peterbilt semi triple trailer doing 150, chatting on the CB, and sexually molesting me AND a hitch hiker all at the same time!
that's nothing! My dad took me along in his fully loaded Peterbilt semi triple trailer doing 150, chatting on the CB, and sexually molesting me AND a hitch hiker all at the same time!
wjon
+2 -0
I like a person that can talk about their own father molesting them just to out-anecdote a stranger, and get laughs on the Internet.
I like a person that can talk about their own father molesting them just to out-anecdote a stranger, and get laughs on the Internet.
hatstand_mcq
+4 -0
It's because they are underground. Yes that's right. I'm digging up Onstad's original embarrassing premise involving underground tunnels. Does it make you uncomfortable? Is it like watching one of the early Simpson's shorts?
It's because they are underground. Yes that's right. I'm digging up Onstad's original embarrassing premise involving underground tunnels. Does it make you uncomfortable? Is it like watching one of the early Simpson's shorts?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I mean 'Simpsons' obviously.
I mean 'Simpsons' obviously.
dangelder
+1 -0
Eat my shorts.
Eat my shorts.
jbgv
+4 -0
i thought the expensive driver and safety stuff for philippe was specifically because they were going to be driving through the non-underground, human world.
i thought the expensive driver and safety stuff for philippe was specifically because they were going to be driving through the non-underground, human world.
aperson
+0 -0
I thought it was because he is a very important otter, with the wealth to afford luxury travel.
I thought it was because he is a very important otter, with the wealth to afford luxury travel.
cracklewater
+0 -0
The line "very unlikely to raise suspicion" from Pockets Full of Sand suggests that they're out in the human world.
I think the idea is mostly abandoned now, but I was never quite sure how the Underground worked. It seems like Achewood the area was not actually Underground, just the shops and bars. Onstad wouldn't be living in the Underground, and Ray's house seems to be close to Onstad's.
The line "very unlikely to raise suspicion" from Pockets Full of Sand suggests that they're out in the human world.
I think the idea is mostly abandoned now, but I was never quite sure how the Underground worked. It seems like Achewood the area was not actually Underground, just the shops and bars. Onstad wouldn't be living in the Underground, and Ray's house seems to be close to Onstad's.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Eat my Simpson's shorts!
Eat my Simpson's shorts!
cracklewater
+1 -0
We're now getting quality strips on a regular basis (no jinxies!).
I suppose it might be prudent to see if the new schedule can be maintained before we start humping legs, but why aren't the the decriers and naysayers here to congratulate Onstad for providing the free entertainment at the standard they've come to expect?
We're now getting quality strips on a regular basis (no jinxies!).
I suppose it might be prudent to see if the new schedule can be maintained before we start humping legs, but why aren't the the decriers and naysayers here to congratulate Onstad for providing the free entertainment at the standard they've come to expect?
slackaholicus
+1 -0
I never posted about the lack of updates or their quality, but I did think it REALLY LOUD. It's nice that Onstad's getting back on track here providing quantity and quality.
I never posted about the lack of updates or their quality, but I did think it REALLY LOUD. It's nice that Onstad's getting back on track here providing quantity and quality.
ubersplat
+2 -0
Hint: "pork chops and buttered rice" is totally a codephrase.
Hint: "pork chops and buttered rice" is totally a codephrase.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It's no Teodor buying pot off Little Nephew but it'll do.
It's no Teodor buying pot off Little Nephew but it'll do.
lonestar52
+0 -0
I guess he was looking for Japan Man.
I guess he was looking for Japan Man.
granularsilica
+1 -0
Do you mean Big Man Japan?
Do you mean Big Man Japan?
wingspan
+15 -0
The otter's door is rounded at the top so people know who to expect inside.
The otter's door is rounded at the top so people know who to expect inside.
lonestar52
+0 -0
Good catch.
Good catch.
newspaperdrone
+6 -0
Comin' on a little strong there, Steve. Back it up a few creep-metres.
Comin' on a little strong there, Steve. Back it up a few creep-metres.
calgit
+2 -0
I'm soooo hungry now.
I'm soooo hungry now.
crazyasafox
+1 -0
I don't like what's going on here. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
I don't like what's going on here. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
bryner99
+1 -0
I get the feeling this ain't gonna be Philippe's mom, and Steve is giving him the code to solve this. He won't just tell the kid because, of course, he's a professional.
I get the feeling this ain't gonna be Philippe's mom, and Steve is giving him the code to solve this. He won't just tell the kid because, of course, he's a professional.
jean-paul
+0 -0
If this all ends in "it was just a dream" I'm gonna punch Onstad in the neck.
If this all ends in "it was just a dream" I'm gonna punch Onstad in the neck.
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
I want the DeNeuve Sr. burger now. It sounds delicious.
I want the DeNeuve Sr. burger now. It sounds delicious.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Would you really call it "griddled" if you fried it in a pan?
Would you really call it "griddled" if you fried it in a pan?
dongleaid
+0 -0
I don't think Phillipe's mother will allow hte necklace in the house
I don't think Phillipe's mother will allow hte necklace in the house
oldhusky
+0 -0
I think she will be very proud
I think she will be very proud
varnish
+0 -0
Who is in the house? Is it Philippe's mother, with a plate of pork chops at the ready?
Or will it be Cartilage Head?
Who is in the house? Is it Philippe's mother, with a plate of pork chops at the ready?
Or will it be Cartilage Head?
notdavidbowie
+4 -0
It will be Cartilage Head, and Philippe will prove himself a coward who would give hugs to a dying man.
It will be Cartilage Head, and Philippe will prove himself a coward who would give hugs to a dying man.
varnish
+0 -0
But there's nothing cowardly about hugging a dying man.
Unless said hug is preventing him from receiving vital life saving treatment, of course.
But there's nothing cowardly about hugging a dying man.
Unless said hug is preventing him from receiving vital life saving treatment, of course.
bartleby
+0 -0
That makes you more of a dick than a coward.
That makes you more of a dick than a coward.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I feel like this is an ok time to mention my theory that Cartilage Head has a fetish for being an abandoned dying man.
He lures men into his home, feeds them the wine from the bottle of empty wine, and then subjects them to his 'suicide,' only to stalk them to their homes and place daguerreotypes with a caption to accuse them of being a normal human.
I will not here address that he lured Beef to his death, attempted to profit from it, and then abandoned him, only to accuse Beef of the crime that he [Cartilage Head] had just committed.
TL;DR...
Cartilage Head still has one bone, which he gets from forcing men to abandon him when he's dying.
Fucking.
Gross.
I feel like this is an ok time to mention my theory that Cartilage Head has a fetish for being an abandoned dying man.
He lures men into his home, feeds them the wine from the bottle of empty wine, and then subjects them to his 'suicide,' only to stalk them to their homes and place daguerreotypes with a caption to accuse them of being a normal human.
I will not here address that he lured Beef to his death, attempted to profit from it, and then abandoned him, only to accuse Beef of the crime that he [Cartilage Head] had just committed.
TL;DR...
Cartilage Head still has one bone, which he gets from forcing men to abandon him when he's dying.
Fucking.
Gross.
melchior
+0 -0
A special boy is here!
A special boy is here!
fady
+0 -0
"Phillipe!"
AAAAHHHH jesus dude calm down
"Phillipe!"
AAAAHHHH jesus dude calm down
lynnym
+0 -0
Steve...what the hell do you know that we don't? I'm not sure I can stomach another Magical Realism arc this soon in the running.
Steve...what the hell do you know that we don't? I'm not sure I can stomach another Magical Realism arc this soon in the running.
desert_donkey
+1 -0
i dont' like this steve denueveaeeuve.
i dont' like this steve denueveaeeuve.
gladi8orrex
+11 -1
my mom usually doesn't cook stuff but dat aint to her detriment. u get used to wat u do an' she'd jus' heat stuff up or make sammiches but one thing she did cook was mashed potatoes and... i like mashed potatoes just abot anywheres u can get 'em but hers? maybes its teh love, maybe its dat i realize she doesnt make much else from scratch but like... they are truely gr8 for me.
she'd also sing to me when i went to bed as a child n suntines, suntines , when i m alone i hum the tune (the tune no more than a hum itself for she didnt know the words) n it fills me wit joys, memries o all teh thing she done for me n i know some yall dont like ur moms for w/e reason but i jus gotta stress dat they ya moms no matter wat n 4 yall 2 not hold 2 much stuff against them.
i was forcibly fed soup by my mom, she made me apologise 2 my brother even tho i did nothing wrong, she used to spank me when i was truely young, she'd 'yell' through gritted teeth if i misbehaved in public. (that was weird) but most of all.
i love my mom
my mom usually doesn't cook stuff but dat aint to her detriment. u get used to wat u do an' she'd jus' heat stuff up or make sammiches but one thing she did cook was mashed potatoes and... i like mashed potatoes just abot anywheres u can get 'em but hers? maybes its teh love, maybe its dat i realize she doesnt make much else from scratch but like... they are truely gr8 for me.
she'd also sing to me when i went to bed as a child n suntines, suntines , when i m alone i hum the tune (the tune no more than a hum itself for she didnt know the words) n it fills me wit joys, memries o all teh thing she done for me n i know some yall dont like ur moms for w/e reason but i jus gotta stress dat they ya moms no matter wat n 4 yall 2 not hold 2 much stuff against them.
i was forcibly fed soup by my mom, she made me apologise 2 my brother even tho i did nothing wrong, she used to spank me when i was truely young, she'd 'yell' through gritted teeth if i misbehaved in public. (that was weird) but most of all.
i love my mom
granularsilica
+0 -0
We ALL love her!
We ALL love her!
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
for free.
for free.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
several times.
several times.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
....
....
mockereo
+8 -0
greenkoolayd was found brutally murdered this morning at his residence. He is survived by his toque and his assetbar account. He was 27.
greenkoolayd was found brutally murdered this morning at his residence. He is survived by his toque and his assetbar account. He was 27.
plummet
+1 -0
It was nice knowing you, Greenkoolayd.
it wasn't, actually, but still
It was nice knowing you, Greenkoolayd.
it wasn't, actually, but still
actualtaunt
+0 -0
You've shown yourself to be a coward who would chubby a dying man.
You've shown yourself to be a coward who would chubby a dying man.
lateadopter
+1 -0
Steve DeNeuve has dead, dead, Little Orphan Annie eyes.
Steve DeNeuve has dead, dead, Little Orphan Annie eyes.
varnish
+0 -0
You can't trust a man who's blunk out his eyeballs.
You can't trust a man who's blunk out his eyeballs.
ratacattt
+0 -2
Steve DeNeuve is basically any random Assetbar user. Hokey sentimentalism, pomp, circumstance, and and the bestowal of social custom and ritual with religious stature. When RBeef & Molly got Married, Steve DeNeuve cried.
Steve DeNeuve is basically any random Assetbar user. Hokey sentimentalism, pomp, circumstance, and and the bestowal of social custom and ritual with religious stature. When RBeef & Molly got Married, Steve DeNeuve cried.
jeffspaulding
+12 -0
Good thing he lives at 1-5-5; the people in 1-4-4 are gross.
Good thing he lives at 1-5-5; the people in 1-4-4 are gross.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Dohohohohoho.
Dohohohohoho.
missbee
+0 -0
Hee, math humor!
Hee, math humor!
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Jeff, I see you at a drafter's desk, bare bulb swinging from a chain above your head, leaky fountain pen in head, running your ink-stained hand through your hair, Groucho glasses on your face, brow creased in frustration. On the paper before you is a massive flow chart of sorts, linking words we never knew could be linked by any sane mind before. You mutter to yourself angrily. The pun must be perfect. It doesn't matter where it comes from. It must be a pun and it must be perfect.
Jeff, I see you at a drafter's desk, bare bulb swinging from a chain above your head, leaky fountain pen in head, running your ink-stained hand through your hair, Groucho glasses on your face, brow creased in frustration. On the paper before you is a massive flow chart of sorts, linking words we never knew could be linked by any sane mind before. You mutter to yourself angrily. The pun must be perfect. It doesn't matter where it comes from. It must be a pun and it must be perfect.
sidemeat
+1 -0
the pun must sizzle to be satisfactory
the pun must sizzle to be satisfactory
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
it mu f t
it mu f t
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
He solemnly chars a cork in a candle, goes over to the dusty mirror over the broken sink and smears a moustache on his upper lip. That is his ritual. It calms him.
He solemnly chars a cork in a candle, goes over to the dusty mirror over the broken sink and smears a moustache on his upper lip. That is his ritual. It calms him.
mockereo
+0 -0
i pondered this pun for SO long... i'm very relieved to finally get it.
i pondered this pun for SO long... i'm very relieved to finally get it.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Man I don't agree with all this hating on Steve. He is a well-groomed man with a rather presidential face. He is good at what he does. Furthermore, I imagine many people open up with children when they are alone with one; there's something about the power imbalance, and lack of adult understanding, that makes all children easy to talk to, and somewhat of an archetypal symbol of your own personal lost childhood.
However, it remains mysterious that this man shares many of Philippe's half-forgotten memories.
Man I don't agree with all this hating on Steve. He is a well-groomed man with a rather presidential face. He is good at what he does. Furthermore, I imagine many people open up with children when they are alone with one; there's something about the power imbalance, and lack of adult understanding, that makes all children easy to talk to, and somewhat of an archetypal symbol of your own personal lost childhood.
However, it remains mysterious that this man shares many of Philippe's half-forgotten memories.
jean-paul
+0 -0
He's been preparing for this drive for over 24 hours -- probably more, knowing him.
He's been preparing for this drive for over 24 hours -- probably more, knowing him.
miaou
+0 -0
He's been preparing for this drive for 5 years .
He's been preparing for this drive for 5 years .
ratacattt
+0 -0
he got plastic surgery so he would look like an otter to make sure that Phillipe would be as comfortable with him as possible
he got plastic surgery so he would look like an otter to make sure that Phillipe would be as comfortable with him as possible
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Which would suggest that otter's live in some odd time-space dimension that directly overlaps with reality except that one otter year is... well... I don't KNOW how many real years.
Which would suggest that otter's live in some odd time-space dimension that directly overlaps with reality except that one otter year is... well... I don't KNOW how many real years.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
The man cold uses Google Platinum Reserve.
With the right search operators you can check out a dude's past lives.
The man cold uses Google Platinum Reserve.
With the right search operators you can check out a dude's past lives.
rabbidpanda
+3 -0
Is Steve someone you could hang out with? It is not clear.
Is Steve someone you could hang out with? It is not clear.
thinman
+1 -0
Inconclusive at this point.
I will say that I tend to mistrust animals that have a cleft chin, so he's already got one strike in my book.
I'm trying to give you a shot, Steve DeNeuve. I mean, I'm REALLY trying.....but I fear you're just a mirror-polished veneer of professionalism, complete with 5 star Yelp! rating, triple-coated over a complete and utter conundrum to seal in your inner demons.
Prove me wrong, Mr. DeNeuve. Prove wrong.
Inconclusive at this point.
I will say that I tend to mistrust animals that have a cleft chin, so he's already got one strike in my book.
I'm trying to give you a shot, Steve DeNeuve. I mean, I'm REALLY trying.....but I fear you're just a mirror-polished veneer of professionalism, complete with 5 star Yelp! rating, triple-coated over a complete and utter conundrum to seal in your inner demons.
Prove me wrong, Mr. DeNeuve. Prove wrong.
taskmaster
+0 -0
Ok so...maybe this is just me but Steve reminds me of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Anyone else getting this?
Ok so...maybe this is just me but Steve reminds me of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Anyone else getting this?
mockereo
+0 -0
as per last strip, you have lost the game.
as per last strip, you have lost the game.
granularsilica
+0 -0
But, but, that's not what I expected "pork chops and buttered rice" to be! AHHHHHHGGG!
But, but, that's not what I expected "pork chops and buttered rice" to be! AHHHHHHGGG!
actualtaunt
+5 -0
I feel... I feel that Steve is a man who wishes some woman would cook him pork chops. And that these pork chops would taste like he is no longer alone.
I mean... I wish someone would cook me pork chops. I wish they tasted like I was no longer alone.
I feel... I feel that Steve is a man who wishes some woman would cook him pork chops. And that these pork chops would taste like he is no longer alone.
I mean... I wish someone would cook me pork chops. I wish they tasted like I was no longer alone.
miaou
+0 -0
You feel... You feel him.
You feel... You feel him.
mockereo
+0 -0
You feel... You feel him... You feel him where...
You feel... You feel him... You feel him where...
lordparadise
+0 -0
You'll ask, won't you?
You'll ask, won't you?
granularsilica
+0 -0
Note to bachelors: Pork chops are about the easiest thing to cook next to ramen. Just heat you some grease in a pan and plop in the chop, brown and turn. Dinner is served!
Note to bachelors: Pork chops are about the easiest thing to cook next to ramen. Just heat you some grease in a pan and plop in the chop, brown and turn. Dinner is served!
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I wouldn't expect a gentleman of your calibre to know this, but many of us are bachelors because we are shit dudes.
We do not choose to be shit dudes: Some are born shit dudes, some are made shit dudes, some dudes have shit thrust upon them.
I wouldn't expect a gentleman of your calibre to know this, but many of us are bachelors because we are shit dudes.
We do not choose to be shit dudes: Some are born shit dudes, some are made shit dudes, some dudes have shit thrust upon them.
granularsilica
+0 -0
My condolences.
My condolences.
ratacattt
+0 -0
your avatar sucks.
your avatar sucks.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Wait, was that for me?
My Avatar is all I have... all I have.
Well, thanks Doonesbury. I hope you have something acerbic to say to the rest of hell when you get there.
Wait, was that for me?
My Avatar is all I have... all I have.
Well, thanks Doonesbury. I hope you have something acerbic to say to the rest of hell when you get there.
ratacattt
+0 -0
your avatar is like trying to relive an orgasm every second of the day. it doesn't work like that. I'm having to ignore you.
your avatar is like trying to relive an orgasm every second of the day. it doesn't work like that. I'm having to ignore you.
tamuic
+0 -0
I am getting subliminal coffin imagery.
I am getting subliminal coffin imagery.
replication
+0 -0
Phillipe DAMMIT, NOOOOO!
Phillipe DAMMIT, NOOOOO!
epicurus
+0 -0
Panel 8!
The FACE
Panel 8!
The FACE
re5urgam
+0 -0
Why did you make me go back and look at it again SHUDDER
Why did you make me go back and look at it again SHUDDER
askingman
+0 -0
Achewood could end in 2 more strips if he wanted it to. I'm afraid.
Achewood could end in 2 more strips if he wanted it to. I'm afraid.
sherief
+0 -0
Full circle. Phillipe is no longer standing on it.
Full circle. Phillipe is no longer standing on it.
granularsilica
+2 -0
Because he ... no longer has legs!
Because he ... no longer has legs!
greatjob
+0 -0
If something bad were to happen to Philippe, it would be the saddest thing. And I'm kinda getting that feeling right now.
If something bad were to happen to Philippe, it would be the saddest thing. And I'm kinda getting that feeling right now.
dongleaid
+0 -0
what is in the darkness behind the row of houses?
what is in the darkness behind the row of houses?
dusty
+0 -0
Do those lines indicate that Steve DeNueve is trembling as he interrupts to implore Phillipe to ask about the pork chops and buttered rice?
Do those lines indicate that Steve DeNueve is trembling as he interrupts to implore Phillipe to ask about the pork chops and buttered rice?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
And the Rabbits, George. Tell about the Rabbits.
And the Rabbits, George. Tell about the Rabbits.
dongleaid
+0 -0
i still trust steve deneuve
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
i still trust steve deneuve
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
vole-in-hand
+0 -0
There's something about Onstad's night scenes that makes me want to tear out my eyes.
There's something about Onstad's night scenes that makes me want to tear out my eyes.
sonofkong
+0 -0
There is something going on here.
There is something going on here.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Steve Deneuve merely misses his dead father. He only wants Phillippe to be happy with his mother while he still has the chance. This will salve Steve Deneuve's soul.
Steve Deneuve merely misses his dead father. He only wants Phillippe to be happy with his mother while he still has the chance. This will salve Steve Deneuve's soul.
cryztal
+0 -0
Panel 8, what the fuck is up with his EYES.
Panel 8, what the fuck is up with his EYES.
urbanoutlaw
+0 -0
Phillipe's home
can't you....SEE
Phillipe's home
can't you....SEE
randyleepublic
+0 -0
That's the real Steve Deneuve. Pete would be very polite around Steve, as well quickly and quietly chain and padlock the gym door.
That's the real Steve Deneuve. Pete would be very polite around Steve, as well quickly and quietly chain and padlock the gym door.
edwardstark
+0 -0
At this point I just really want pork chops and buttered rice. His enthusiasm is simply contagious.
At this point I just really want pork chops and buttered rice. His enthusiasm is simply contagious.
lolsworth
+0 -0
I don't know what is going on here but I want it to stop.
I don't know what is going on here but I want it to stop.
captainanna
+0 -0
Suspicion is mounting.
Suspicion is mounting.
Incorrect Phillipe.
My Mother makes the best pork chops in the whole world
I will fight anyone who says otherwise.
Thank you for standing up for my mother!
Damnit...this in my mind was how you wrote it.
----------
Incorrect Phillipe.
//you quoted where he was incorrect.
"My Mother makes the best pork chops in the whole world"
it was pretty clear dude
Why not pretend you were just trying to suggest that you and awko are secret brothers?
I knew i should have gone with that skit.
We can still go with that. I get to be the cool brother though.
I'll be the evil socially awkward one.
its scary how often social awkwardness, evil, and genius all seem to occur together.....
social genuis, evil awkwardness :X
Wow, a hat trick! Awesome!
What? we're playing soccer now?!
I prefer hockey myself.
Otherwise.
Are....are they kosher ?
Is....is it halal?!
Halel yes!
HOLLA
Challah is definitely kosher.
on the other hand, your mom is not.
She is a challah-back girl?
This shit is so kosher, so k-o-s-h-e-r.
*claps*
A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Kosher.