lynnym
+3 -2
I don't know...I really do not. This arc keeps alternating between good and questionably worrisome. I know I bitch about it a lot, but damned if I'm just gonna sit here and not care.
But whatever Beef has going on with his hands, that's doable. Sure.
I don't know...I really do not. This arc keeps alternating between good and questionably worrisome. I know I bitch about it a lot, but damned if I'm just gonna sit here and not care.
But whatever Beef has going on with his hands, that's doable. Sure.
greyfield
+0 -0
Really? Thou shalt question the glory of a man with a decaying face, kickass inverse wine bottle, flair for the Victorian, and general badassery?
Really? Thou shalt question the glory of a man with a decaying face, kickass inverse wine bottle, flair for the Victorian, and general badassery?
lynnym
+0 -0
Well, no, not Cartilage Head. He's awesome. We are all aware.
Well, no, not Cartilage Head. He's awesome. We are all aware.
greyfield
+0 -0
The thing RB is doing with his hands is awesome, that's true. It's all "What UP mother fucks"
The thing RB is doing with his hands is awesome, that's true. It's all "What UP mother fucks"
crom
+2 -0
"I don't need no teleprompter. I spin my rhymes faster a twin-rotor helicopter."
"He gives speeches impromptu!"
"I don't need no teleprompter. I spin my rhymes faster a twin-rotor helicopter."
"He gives speeches impromptu!"
crom
+0 -0
Should have been "than a twin-rotor helicopter."
Damn assetbar with no edit button. All messin' up the flow.
Should have been "than a twin-rotor helicopter."
Damn assetbar with no edit button. All messin' up the flow.
biznart
+5 -0
"He corrects his typos with posts after the fact!"
"He corrects his typos with posts after the fact!"
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
You'd like for him to get on a Rolle now wouldn't you.
You'd like for him to get on a Rolle now wouldn't you.
doppelganger
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
good times
[IMGS OFF]
good times
thegoblins
+0 -0
That is an ester. I don't understand.
That is an ester. I don't understand.
mensch
+0 -0
the star of good times was Esther Rolle (biznart's avatar).
the star of good times was Esther Rolle (biznart's avatar).
mensch
+0 -0
Where were you during the 70's?
Where were you during the 70's?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Not conceived yet?
Not conceived yet?
salvar
+0 -0
Holy damn.
Holy damn.
skiddysmith
+3 -1
must admit... had been waiting of the edge of my seat to finally see the crowd of (onstad's idea of) sapphic erotica fans and wow are they ever fugly!
must admit... had been waiting of the edge of my seat to finally see the crowd of (onstad's idea of) sapphic erotica fans and wow are they ever fugly!
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Notice the obvious lack of militant female bean-flickers in said crowd?
Notice the obvious lack of militant female bean-flickers in said crowd?
spazdor
+0 -0
No, just a lack of obvious militant female bean-flickers. At least 4 of them lack any obvious gender traits at all, and have hair which could be interpreted as either dudely or dykely.
My theory is O is just being mindful of the straight-guy 'broader appeal' of the subject matter, and is therefore taking extra care in observing his 'nothing to fap to' rule.
No, just a lack of obvious militant female bean-flickers. At least 4 of them lack any obvious gender traits at all, and have hair which could be interpreted as either dudely or dykely.
My theory is O is just being mindful of the straight-guy 'broader appeal' of the subject matter, and is therefore taking extra care in observing his 'nothing to fap to' rule.
wolfensti
+2 -0
Your html is not welcome here
Your html is not welcome here
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Quite the Perky Pervert/ Vegetable Brain/ Agreeable Pat crowd.
Quite the Perky Pervert/ Vegetable Brain/ Agreeable Pat crowd.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Yes, I was wondering what could have happened to Nolan of the Internet. Perhaps Ray got in ahead of time and warned him off. He would have bought the tone down.
Yes, I was wondering what could have happened to Nolan of the Internet. Perhaps Ray got in ahead of time and warned him off. He would have bought the tone down.
spectre
+1 -1
Nolan is dead. He is so dead he is the deadest he is ever going to be. The cops don't know he is dead because Ray hires the best. Hell, he won the Great Outdoor Fight. He KNOWS people who can handle the "death relationship." And he paid extra so that the body would never be found. (Hint: It involved a charity barbecue feeding for the folks at the Transfer Station.)
Nolan is dead. He is so dead he is the deadest he is ever going to be. The cops don't know he is dead because Ray hires the best. Hell, he won the Great Outdoor Fight. He KNOWS people who can handle the "death relationship." And he paid extra so that the body would never be found. (Hint: It involved a charity barbecue feeding for the folks at the Transfer Station.)
greyfield
+0 -0
Meatball sub, more likely.
Meatball sub, more likely.
spazdor
+2 -0
You think he went all pro ice just 'cause he was in a raw situation? I dunno if that phone call to Nolan was a follow-through kind of threat.
You think he went all pro ice just 'cause he was in a raw situation? I dunno if that phone call to Nolan was a follow-through kind of threat.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I'm with spazdor here. Ray is not very pro ice, as we've seen several times.
I'm with spazdor here. Ray is not very pro ice, as we've seen several times.
mensch
+0 -0
Pro Ice is a State of Mind , and he's got it, motherfuckers!
[IMGS OFF]
Pro Ice is a State of Mind , and he's got it, motherfuckers!
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
UM UM I think I THINK you'll recall that this plan was TURNED DOWN because Ray was NOT Pro Ice ENOUGH, crabcake nipples.
UM UM I think I THINK you'll recall that this plan was TURNED DOWN because Ray was NOT Pro Ice ENOUGH, crabcake nipples.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
THIS IS AN INSULT WHY
[IMGS OFF]
THIS IS AN INSULT WHY
nice-on-water
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+0 -0
Yummers!
Yummers!
woodenteeth
+4 -0
I do not like seeing animals I have never seen before... I thought that time of my life had ended... I feel like a five year old in a petting zoo confronted by a spitting Alpaca.
I do not like seeing animals I have never seen before... I thought that time of my life had ended... I feel like a five year old in a petting zoo confronted by a spitting Alpaca.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Recognize these?
Recognize these?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Aw HELL yeah. Come on, doesn't everyone love learning about crazy animals? It's literally the best thing to learn about.
Aw HELL yeah. Come on, doesn't everyone love learning about crazy animals? It's literally the best thing to learn about.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This is so great (I live in Australia, so many of these creatures are either familiar or look related to something familiar). Honorable mention to the Olm (or Italian Penis Fish), Ghost Frog (Triangle - TRIANGLE!), and The Hooded Seal (Holy fuck why why why and whaaaat).
This is so great (I live in Australia, so many of these creatures are either familiar or look related to something familiar). Honorable mention to the Olm (or Italian Penis Fish), Ghost Frog (Triangle - TRIANGLE!), and The Hooded Seal (Holy fuck why why why and whaaaat).
fancypants
+0 -0
Dude! Australia is the home of the world's scariest fucking animals. Hell, they can't even decide on a national animal because they're afraid of offending one of their quadrillion ultra-deadly-doomsday-creatures.
Dude! Australia is the home of the world's scariest fucking animals. Hell, they can't even decide on a national animal because they're afraid of offending one of their quadrillion ultra-deadly-doomsday-creatures.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Ah. Emu and Kangaroo. It's on the National Emblem. I'm - I'm sorry to be a pedant. Again.
Ah. Emu and Kangaroo. It's on the National Emblem. I'm - I'm sorry to be a pedant. Again.
chico
+0 -0
I here that its a beautiful there. I've always wanted to see where Mozart was born.
I here that its a beautiful there. I've always wanted to see where Mozart was born.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Don't forget Schwarzenegger!
Don't forget Schwarzenegger!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Eh, me, not so much. I was there once. The food's not so good. They put too much salz on my burger.
Eh, me, not so much. I was there once. The food's not so good. They put too much salz on my burger.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
THAT was a stretch.
THAT was a stretch.
ph3r
+0 -0
I've heard their sausages curiously come in batches of seven.
I've heard their sausages curiously come in batches of seven.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Ah, that's Emu, Kangaroo, and Pedant on a field Rampant.
[IMGS OFF]
Ah, that's Emu, Kangaroo, and Pedant on a field Rampant.
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Hilariously enough, this filled me with some absurdist pride. Look at me Mum! I finally made it.
Hilariously enough, this filled me with some absurdist pride. Look at me Mum! I finally made it.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Does this mean that woodenteeth is also unable to walk backwards?
Does this mean that woodenteeth is also unable to walk backwards?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Let's put him through his paces!
Let's put him through his paces!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
*trips*
Ow! Fuck. FUCK! Why wasn't I told!
*trips*
Ow! Fuck. FUCK! Why wasn't I told!
avatar
+0 -0
i thought you lived in Toronto, woodenteeth
i thought you lived in Toronto, woodenteeth
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Not in Kansas anymore Toto.
Not in Kansas anymore Toto.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
or Canada... damn, I need some sleep.
or Canada... damn, I need some sleep.
belgand
+0 -0
I expected for all the world to encounter the sight of your presumably shapely bosom upon clicking that.
I expected for all the world to encounter the sight of your presumably shapely bosom upon clicking that.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Still considered dangerous creatures.
Still considered dangerous creatures.
drskradley
+2 -0
On the discussion of dangerous creatures, I think the cassowary isn't given the cred it deserves.
When ANZAC soldiers were fighting the Japanese in New Guinea, they were told to keep watch for cassowaries - they hide in the forest. They will see you before you see them. And they will flank you, fucking Jurassic Park raptor Muldoon-style. Jumping up to seven feet, claws far too long and deadly for any good logic.
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
"Clever girl."
They will fucking own you.
On the discussion of dangerous creatures, I think the cassowary isn't given the cred it deserves.
When ANZAC soldiers were fighting the Japanese in New Guinea, they were told to keep watch for cassowaries - they hide in the forest. They will see you before you see them. And they will flank you, fucking Jurassic Park raptor Muldoon-style. Jumping up to seven feet, claws far too long and deadly for any good logic.
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
"Clever girl."
They will fucking own you.
drskradley
+0 -0
(seven feet is probably an exaggeration)
(seven feet is probably an exaggeration)
doppelganger
+1 -0
That's what she said.
That's what she said.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Maybe because...it's all lies :
Cassowaries have a reputation for being dangerous to people and domestic animals. The 2007 edition of the Guinness World Records lists the cassowary as the world's most dangerous bird. During World War II American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned to steer clear of them. Many internet entries about cassowaries state that they can disembowel a man or dog with one kick, with the long second toe claw cutting the gut open.
In his book "Living Birds of the World" from 1958, Ornithologist Thomas E. Gilliard wrote;
"The inner or second of the three toes is fitted with a long, straight, murderous nail which can sever an arm or eviscerate an abdomen with ease. There are many records of natives being killed by this bird."[14]
However, Gilliard did not include any such records or any references for them, and although this assessment of the danger posed by cassowaries has been repeated in print by authors including Gregory S. Paul (1988)[15] and Jared Diamond (1997)[16], recent research on hundreds of cassowary attacks has only been able to find one human death. A 2003 study of attacks by the Southern Cassowary in Queensland found no wounds larger than punctures about 1.5 centimeters in diameter.[17] Of 221 attacks studied, 150 were against humans. 75% of these were from cassowaries that had been fed by people. 71% of the time the bird chased or charged the victim. 15% of the time they kicked. Of the attacks, 73% involved the birds expecting or snatching food, 5% involved defending natural food sources, 15% involved defending themselves from attack, 7% involved defending their chicks or eggs. Of all 150 attacks there was only one human death.[18]
Maybe because...it's all lies :
Cassowaries have a reputation for being dangerous to people and domestic animals. The 2007 edition of the Guinness World Records lists the cassowary as the world's most dangerous bird. During World War II American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned to steer clear of them. Many internet entries about cassowaries state that they can disembowel a man or dog with one kick, with the long second toe claw cutting the gut open.
In his book "Living Birds of the World" from 1958, Ornithologist Thomas E. Gilliard wrote;
"The inner or second of the three toes is fitted with a long, straight, murderous nail which can sever an arm or eviscerate an abdomen with ease. There are many records of natives being killed by this bird."[14]
However, Gilliard did not include any such records or any references for them, and although this assessment of the danger posed by cassowaries has been repeated in print by authors including Gregory S. Paul (1988)[15] and Jared Diamond (1997)[16], recent research on hundreds of cassowary attacks has only been able to find one human death. A 2003 study of attacks by the Southern Cassowary in Queensland found no wounds larger than punctures about 1.5 centimeters in diameter.[17] Of 221 attacks studied, 150 were against humans. 75% of these were from cassowaries that had been fed by people. 71% of the time the bird chased or charged the victim. 15% of the time they kicked. Of the attacks, 73% involved the birds expecting or snatching food, 5% involved defending natural food sources, 15% involved defending themselves from attack, 7% involved defending their chicks or eggs. Of all 150 attacks there was only one human death.[18]
lateadopter
+0 -0
So what's it gonna take for you to think that cassowaries are more dangerous than other birds? 'Cause that's the comparison population here; no one said they're more dangerous than lions or hippos.
You think 1.5 centimeters in diameter is a smallish wound? Have you ever heard of even one human death from a hummingbird attack? I've heard of people getting killed when someone dropped a frozen turkey off a highway overpass, but I'm not gonna give the turkey credit for the kill there.
So what's it gonna take for you to think that cassowaries are more dangerous than other birds? 'Cause that's the comparison population here; no one said they're more dangerous than lions or hippos.
You think 1.5 centimeters in diameter is a smallish wound? Have you ever heard of even one human death from a hummingbird attack? I've heard of people getting killed when someone dropped a frozen turkey off a highway overpass, but I'm not gonna give the turkey credit for the kill there.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The point, Mr. Hostility, is that they're not nearly as dangerous as was stated. Anything is dangerous if given enough time and provocation.
The point, Mr. Hostility, is that they're not nearly as dangerous as was stated. Anything is dangerous if given enough time and provocation.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I'm hostile?! What do you mean, I'm hostile?!?
Seriously, I forgot you folks can't take a joke. Sorry about that.
I'm hostile?! What do you mean, I'm hostile?!?
Seriously, I forgot you folks can't take a joke. Sorry about that.
lateadopter
+0 -0
But it seems that CDC statistics support nice-on-water's argument .
But it seems that CDC statistics support nice-on-water's argument .
drskradley
+0 -0
Excellent, thank you. I genuinely love to be taken to school with research. My kudos.
Excellent, thank you. I genuinely love to be taken to school with research. My kudos.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Phooey on your jokes that have no trace of actual jokeyness about them. Phooey.
Phooey on your jokes that have no trace of actual jokeyness about them. Phooey.
doppelganger
+0 -0
Noting more dangerous than a wounded mosquito
Noting more dangerous than a wounded mosquito
thegoblins
+0 -0
How comes?
How comes?
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Noted
Noted
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Now we know what happened to the thylacine
Now we know what happened to the thylacine
thegoblins
+0 -0
There's a strip club in my college town called "Deja Vu." That name disturbs me. It suggests that you've seen those tits before, somewhere.
There's a strip club in my college town called "Deja Vu." That name disturbs me. It suggests that you've seen those tits before, somewhere.
choco
+0 -0
it's like I've seen a strip club named that before somewhere...
it's like I've seen a strip club named that before somewhere...
skiddysmith
+0 -0
here is a strip club in my town which is now a starbucks
[IMGS OFF]
here is a strip club in my town which is now a starbucks
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+0 -0
It looks rather rough.
It looks rather rough.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Gotta be rough to let people dance in ur anus.
Gotta be rough to let people dance in ur anus.
belgand
+0 -0
Based on the size of the place they've got at least three poles in there too. That's a lot to handle, even for a pro.
Based on the size of the place they've got at least three poles in there too. That's a lot to handle, even for a pro.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
do they offer a "full body latte" if so that'd be years ahead of its time.
do they offer a "full body latte" if so that'd be years ahead of its time.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Wh...never mind. I do not want to know.
Wh...never mind. I do not want to know.
ph3r
+0 -0
This is where you take an aptitude test
we find out what your aptitude is good at
If you have 1 bucket that holds 5 gallons, and 1 bucket that holds 3 gallons, HOW MANY BUCKETS DO YOU HAVE
This is where you take an aptitude test
we find out what your aptitude is good at
If you have 1 bucket that holds 5 gallons, and 1 bucket that holds 3 gallons, HOW MANY BUCKETS DO YOU HAVE
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Are we assuming that a bucket that holds 5 gallons also holds 3 gallons at the same time? Then 1 bucket, I believe, but these things are meant to trick logical thought processes...
Are we assuming that a bucket that holds 5 gallons also holds 3 gallons at the same time? Then 1 bucket, I believe, but these things are meant to trick logical thought processes...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And of course, when does a bucket become a pail?
And of course, when does a bucket become a pail?
wingspan
+1 -0
When it's "ajar".
Fuck you.
When it's "ajar".
Fuck you.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No, no, fuck you.
No, no, fuck you.
edd36
+0 -0
Is it friday already?
Is it friday already?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Fuck you! It's Friday everyday! Fuck you!
Fuck you! It's Friday everyday! Fuck you!
ph3r
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Dwayne Elizondor Mountain Dew Camacho says fuck you too.
[IMGS OFF]
Dwayne Elizondor Mountain Dew Camacho says fuck you too.
belgand
+0 -0
Since you can measure quantities of 8, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1 gallons I would say that you have the functional equivalent of 6 buckets.
Since you can measure quantities of 8, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1 gallons I would say that you have the functional equivalent of 6 buckets.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Is that anything like a hand-flavoured latte?
Is that anything like a hand-flavoured latte?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Jesus people, that was a damn fine Mike Judge reference, the ammount of office space references i've seen around here i thought an idiocracy one wouldn't go amiss.
OH WELL.
Jesus people, that was a damn fine Mike Judge reference, the ammount of office space references i've seen around here i thought an idiocracy one wouldn't go amiss.
OH WELL.
ph3r
+0 -0
I tried.
I'm sorry.
I tried.
I'm sorry.
never_die
+0 -0
Deja Vu as in Toledo's Deja Vu?
regardless, i find that the name suggests the entire strip club experience seems sickeningly familiar to the club's patrons.
Deja Vu as in Toledo's Deja Vu?
regardless, i find that the name suggests the entire strip club experience seems sickeningly familiar to the club's patrons.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It seems Deja Vu is not only an inappropriate name for a strip club, it's also a much-emulated one.
It seems Deja Vu is not only an inappropriate name for a strip club, it's also a much-emulated one.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
They're besmirching the character of a damn fine album, too.
They're besmirching the character of a damn fine album, too.
choco
+0 -0
Please note that the word "emulated" was not used correctly in the above post.
Please note that the word "emulated" was not used correctly in the above post.
thegoblins
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Speaking of kick-ass birds. Also I is not giving two hoots for correct usage!
[IMGS OFF]
Speaking of kick-ass birds. Also I is not giving two hoots for correct usage!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Not at 3 in the AM!
Not at 3 in the AM!
choco
+0 -0
I said emulated, not emu-lated!
I said emulated, not emu-lated!
belgand
+0 -0
I think that Presque Vu would make an excellent name for a cabaret that features rather a good deal of burlesque. Just do not ever visit Jamais Vu or I suspect you will be quite disappointed.
I think that Presque Vu would make an excellent name for a cabaret that features rather a good deal of burlesque. Just do not ever visit Jamais Vu or I suspect you will be quite disappointed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Goddamn it BOTH are annoying as FUCK GOD.
Goddamn it BOTH are annoying as FUCK GOD.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
DON'T RESIZE MY WINDOW YOU ASSHOLE WEBSITE.
DON'T RESIZE MY WINDOW YOU ASSHOLE WEBSITE.
myfirstpost
+1 -0
Oh. It didn't.
Disregard this outburst.
Oh. It didn't.
Disregard this outburst.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Christ.
Christ.
narenial
+0 -0
i chubbied this only for your epical avatar, there. My inner nerd is laughing like a small child.
i chubbied this only for your epical avatar, there. My inner nerd is laughing like a small child.
thegoblins
+0 -0
And I, being the slow one, only just got it.
And I, being the slow one, only just got it.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
I made it myself.
I made it myself.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It is a thing of great beauty. No one post any penis pictures!
It is a thing of great beauty. No one post any penis pictures!
choco
+0 -0
I don't get it. do the notes spell something out? I can't read music.
I don't get it. do the notes spell something out? I can't read music.
ph3r
+0 -0
Yeah, it's a music nerd thing. The notes are F, A, C, and E.
These are the times when I'm glad to be going into a profession in which there is no job market...
Yeah, it's a music nerd thing. The notes are F, A, C, and E.
These are the times when I'm glad to be going into a profession in which there is no job market...
choco
+0 -2
ok. Well. That's not very clever. I'm gonna have to issue a lame in fact. if I have any left. if I don't consider this a vlame.
ok. Well. That's not very clever. I'm gonna have to issue a lame in fact. if I have any left. if I don't consider this a vlame.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Awwwww. Where's yer sense of charity?
Awwwww. Where's yer sense of charity?
choco
+0 -0
Please note: In the above post, the word "charity" was used incorrectly.
Please note: In the above post, the word "charity" was used incorrectly.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Why d'ya gotta be so mean?
Why d'ya gotta be so mean?
choco
+0 -0
sorry.. it just comes naturally, although not born of ill intentions. I'm really a nice person.
sorry.. it just comes naturally, although not born of ill intentions. I'm really a nice person.
wingspan
+0 -0
Now you have one.
Now you have one.
edd36
+0 -0
Always loved the Kakopo, back from when it featured in Douglas Adams' 'Last Chance to See, which is a testament to the man's writting and love of, well it seems everything but in this case nature, since I'm genarally hate birds. It's their damn souless eyes.
Always loved the Kakopo, back from when it featured in Douglas Adams' 'Last Chance to See, which is a testament to the man's writting and love of, well it seems everything but in this case nature, since I'm genarally hate birds. It's their damn souless eyes.
edd36
+0 -0
Apologies for the wandering apostrophes, it's a horrible, horrible problem that I just can't shake. The dam'n things end up everywhere when I type.
Apologies for the wandering apostrophes, it's a horrible, horrible problem that I just can't shake. The dam'n things end up everywhere when I type.
edd36
+0 -0
Also: I spelt it's goddamn name wrong. I call the alcohol defence.
Also: I spelt it's goddamn name wrong. I call the alcohol defence.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
God bless Douglas Adams and his Salmon of Doubt.
God bless Douglas Adams and his Salmon of Doubt.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Salmon of Doubt made me so sad and frustrated that he's dead.
Salmon of Doubt made me so sad and frustrated that he's dead.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He is such an inconsiderate asshole for doing that.
He is such an inconsiderate asshole for doing that.
belgand
+0 -0
I know, what the hell does Terry Pratchett think he's doing with his goddamn Alzhimer's either? Too big to admit he's run out of ideas and can't keep putting out a book a year so he has to go and get a serious brain disorder? Dick.
I know, what the hell does Terry Pratchett think he's doing with his goddamn Alzhimer's either? Too big to admit he's run out of ideas and can't keep putting out a book a year so he has to go and get a serious brain disorder? Dick.
edd36
+0 -0
I found Mostly Harmless the worst. He obviously wasn't all too happy when he wrote it and it was a huge down to end the series on. It's a real shame he never got a chance to do the follow up he semi-promised to make up for it.
I found Mostly Harmless the worst. He obviously wasn't all too happy when he wrote it and it was a huge down to end the series on. It's a real shame he never got a chance to do the follow up he semi-promised to make up for it.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I cannot promise to not blow your mind through zoology again. I am a large fan of terrible sea spiders.
I am roommates with 5.
I cannot promise to not blow your mind through zoology again. I am a large fan of terrible sea spiders.
I am roommates with 5.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I once saw very very very large deep ocean crabs in a zoo in Japan, those things... my lord. Larger than my arm span.
I once saw very very very large deep ocean crabs in a zoo in Japan, those things... my lord. Larger than my arm span.
cracklewater
+1 -0
Not the spider crabs at the Osaka aquarium by any chance?
I was looking at those giant bastards just a few months ago. Body the size of a volleyball, legs must have been over a metre long when straightened.
The big one in the middle was munching a decent-sized squid like a hotdog.
Not the spider crabs at the Osaka aquarium by any chance?
I was looking at those giant bastards just a few months ago. Body the size of a volleyball, legs must have been over a metre long when straightened.
The big one in the middle was munching a decent-sized squid like a hotdog.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
That's exactly what I'm talking about. I have posted a photo here on the boards somewhere of my head right next to one. That aquarium had dolpins. That was the shit. Good times.
High five.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. I have posted a photo here on the boards somewhere of my head right next to one. That aquarium had dolpins. That was the shit. Good times.
High five.
belgand
+0 -0
Those dolphins were not intended for display. That was the food court. When did you forget you were in Japan?
Those dolphins were not intended for display. That was the food court. When did you forget you were in Japan?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
After a cursory glance on the Internets it would seem that very few Japanese actually eat Dolphin. Very close to a "me so solly" joke belgand.
For shame.
After a cursory glance on the Internets it would seem that very few Japanese actually eat Dolphin. Very close to a "me so solly" joke belgand.
For shame.
belgand
+0 -0
I will restrict my future jokes to the controversy over their alleged continuance of whaling against IWC regulations under the guise of scientific research.
I will restrict my future jokes to the controversy over their alleged continuance of whaling against IWC regulations under the guise of scientific research.
thegoblins
+0 -0
When the fuzz comes after their boats, they have to baleen.
When the fuzz comes after their boats, they have to baleen.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Your application for humour has been accepted. Please submit form 55.32 in triplicate to the Association by Friday.
Your application for humour has been accepted. Please submit form 55.32 in triplicate to the Association by Friday.
drskradley
+0 -0
Holy balls the CRABS. Mortifying.
Worth the 2 hour wait. Don't go to Osaka Aquarium during Golden Week, unless you like waiting in lines.
Holy balls the CRABS. Mortifying.
Worth the 2 hour wait. Don't go to Osaka Aquarium during Golden Week, unless you like waiting in lines.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... and don't go anywhere near the public showers at that time.
... and don't go anywhere near the public showers at that time.
howl
+0 -0
I saw some at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I didn't find them creepy at all. They're very cool.
I saw some at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I didn't find them creepy at all. They're very cool.
choco
+0 -0
they are more creepy when you see one busting out of someone's chest
they are more creepy when you see one busting out of someone's chest
thegoblins
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
This thing, it is inside us.
[IMGS OFF]
This thing, it is inside us.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Did you know you've got four miles of tubes inside you?
[IMGS OFF]
Did you know you've got four miles of tubes inside you?
[IMGS OFF]
choco
+0 -0
I probably have more because my penis is so big.
I probably have more because my penis is so big.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
AH, the classic vaudeville punchline. "...Because my PENIS is SO BIG!"
AH, the classic vaudeville punchline. "...Because my PENIS is SO BIG!"
wolfensti
+0 -0
We know, geez, you can stop showing i.
We know, geez, you can stop showing i.
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Want to see a picture of the thing you can have inside you with just a quick phone call?
Want to see a picture of the thing you can have inside you with just a quick phone call?
thegoblins
+0 -0
You took pictures?
You took pictures?
choco
+0 -0
well actually the pictures were professionally done by the police investigators
well actually the pictures were professionally done by the police investigators
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I had them put on milk cartons once.
I had them put on milk cartons once.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I for one welcome learning about these fascinating coconut crabs . The more you etc etc
I for one welcome learning about these fascinating coconut crabs . The more you etc etc
srikamaraja
+0 -0
It is actually a Hermit crab, but it becomes so large and completely terrestrial that its carapace hardens enough that it does not require a shell.
Also fun, hermit crabs are actually more closely related to shrimp than true crabs.
There are shrimp walking around, people.
It is actually a Hermit crab, but it becomes so large and completely terrestrial that its carapace hardens enough that it does not require a shell.
Also fun, hermit crabs are actually more closely related to shrimp than true crabs.
There are shrimp walking around, people.
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Fun fact: Those Giant Hermit crabs' closest relatives are Nerdicus Internettii
Fun fact: Those Giant Hermit crabs' closest relatives are Nerdicus Internettii
tekende
+0 -0
Hermit crabs are closely related to your Aunt Mildred
Hermit crabs are closely related to your Aunt Mildred
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Tekende, his Aunt Mildred was massacred by a colony of hermit crabs. Not funny, not cool.
Yes, I did indeed google "group of hermit crabs" to make sure they didn't have some ridiculous names for groups like crows or rhinos and all I found was this, unsure of its validity: https://alabelforartists.blogspot.com/2007/01/animal-groupings.html
Tekende, his Aunt Mildred was massacred by a colony of hermit crabs. Not funny, not cool.
Yes, I did indeed google "group of hermit crabs" to make sure they didn't have some ridiculous names for groups like crows or rhinos and all I found was this, unsure of its validity: https://alabelforartists.blogspot.com/2007/01/animal-groupings.html
thegoblins
+0 -0
And a group of ravens is an "unkindness." What in the world is wrong with humans?
And a group of ravens is an "unkindness." What in the world is wrong with humans?
wozzeck
+0 -0
A CLASH of BUCKS, is this wildlife or an Event?
A CLASH of BUCKS, is this wildlife or an Event?
thegoblins
+0 -0
It sounds like society gossip from the Regency.
It sounds like society gossip from the Regency.
narenial
+0 -0
Only at the Great Outdoor Event.
Only at the Great Outdoor Event.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
My two favorites are a parliament of owls, and an implausibility of gnu. Which would perhaps make sense if they were solitary creatures.
Huh. Who gnu?
My two favorites are a parliament of owls, and an implausibility of gnu. Which would perhaps make sense if they were solitary creatures.
Huh. Who gnu?
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
minus the extra comma. Fack.
minus the extra comma. Fack.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Google told me they were coconut crabs, goddamn it.
Google told me they were coconut crabs, goddamn it.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm gonna need proof that they're not.
I'm gonna need proof that they're not.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
ITIS Standard Report Page: Coenobitidae
Kingdom: Animalia
Taxonomic Rank: Family
Synonym(s):
Common Name(s): land hermit crabs [English]
IUCN Red List: Birgus Latro
Family: Coenobitidae
"After about 4 weeks of living around the high tide mark, it transforms into a juvenile crab, which continues to use a gastropod shell for 1-2 years, and lives very secretively in burrows."
ITIS
IUCN
ITIS Standard Report Page: Coenobitidae
Kingdom: Animalia
Taxonomic Rank: Family
Synonym(s):
Common Name(s): land hermit crabs [English]
IUCN Red List: Birgus Latro
Family: Coenobitidae
"After about 4 weeks of living around the high tide mark, it transforms into a juvenile crab, which continues to use a gastropod shell for 1-2 years, and lives very secretively in burrows."
ITIS
IUCN
rowboat
+0 -0
That'll do it. I learned something.
Now go out into the world and spread the news. This is apparently a widely misunderstood species.
That'll do it. I learned something.
Now go out into the world and spread the news. This is apparently a widely misunderstood species.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
It's allright, nice-on-water! You were right all along! The Coconut crab is a type of hermit!
It's allright, nice-on-water! You were right all along! The Coconut crab is a type of hermit!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is that ironic or did I just pass gas?
Is that ironic or did I just pass gas?
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't wanna get in a fight over it, but the picture above is of a coconut crab. They hold a special place in my nightmares. I recognize them.
I don't wanna get in a fight over it, but the picture above is of a coconut crab. They hold a special place in my nightmares. I recognize them.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That's what I figured.
That's what I figured.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Ooh la LA!
Ooh la LA!
dickie_roxx
+0 -0
WORD. Is... is this what Onstad thinks lesbians look like? How unsettling. This disturbs me more than the Lash of Thanatos or the Resurrection of Cartilage Head.
WORD. Is... is this what Onstad thinks lesbians look like? How unsettling. This disturbs me more than the Lash of Thanatos or the Resurrection of Cartilage Head.
spectre
+0 -0
Ummmm . . . the main consumers of lesbian and psuedo-lesbian erotica are guys, no
Ummmm . . . the main consumers of lesbian and psuedo-lesbian erotica are guys, no
dickie_roxx
+2 -0
Depends. There is a bright line between lesbian and, as you say, pseudo-lesbian. The latter features gay-for-pay actresses with impeccable makeup, impractically long nails, and that silly tip-of-tongue technique. The former probably contains more kink than you were bargaining for and decent odds that at least one of the performers will be someone you knew from college.
Most lesbians look like, well, ladies. These ladies look like they just got off the express bus from the Transfer Station.
Depends. There is a bright line between lesbian and, as you say, pseudo-lesbian. The latter features gay-for-pay actresses with impeccable makeup, impractically long nails, and that silly tip-of-tongue technique. The former probably contains more kink than you were bargaining for and decent odds that at least one of the performers will be someone you knew from college.
Most lesbians look like, well, ladies. These ladies look like they just got off the express bus from the Transfer Station.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I think I knew someone who picked up the silly tip-of-tongue pseudo-lesbian technique. I'm just saying.
I think I knew someone who picked up the silly tip-of-tongue pseudo-lesbian technique. I'm just saying.
mensch
+0 -0
Please just say some more.
Please just say some more.
thegoblins
+0 -0
This person was male!
This person was male!
wolfensti
+0 -0
You seen to know that person, perhaps biblically.
Tip-of-the-tongue-ally ?
You seen to know that person, perhaps biblically.
Tip-of-the-tongue-ally ?
thegoblins
+3 -0
He treated the vagina like a particularly unsavory ice cream cone that he had to finish because it's good manners.
He treated the vagina like a particularly unsavory ice cream cone that he had to finish because it's good manners.
mensch
+0 -0
More details, and use the first person (e.g., "... my vagina")
More details, and use the first person (e.g., "... my vagina")
aperson
+0 -0
A hairy icecream with some wee on it?
A hairy icecream with some wee on it?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Exactly! It was both unsatisfying and mortifying.
Exactly! It was both unsatisfying and mortifying.
aperson
+0 -0
If I had the inclination I'd draw a Ben & Jerry's carton of that.
If I had the inclination I'd draw a Ben & Jerry's carton of that.
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Hairy Garcia
Hairy Garcia
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Really? No Phish Food ?
Really? No Phish Food ?
thegoblins
+22 -0
You guys, this took me so long:
[IMGS OFF]
You guys, this took me so long:
[IMGS OFF]
narenial
+0 -0
Chubbied for the description.
Chubbied for the description.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
A bad cunnilingus review can finish a playa in this town.
A bad cunnilingus review can finish a playa in this town.
thegoblins
+4 -0
"Horrible. Will not be sitting on this face again."
"Horrible. Will not be sitting on this face again."
srikamaraja
+0 -0
"Buyer tries to stab me. Signs me up for so much spam
"Buyer tries to stab me. Signs me up for so much spam
srikamaraja
+1 -0
"
"
tekende
+3 -0
"He licks my thigh. He licks my ass. But does he lick my clitoris? No."
"He licks my thigh. He licks my ass. But does he lick my clitoris? No."
jeffspaulding
+2 -0
Man in rowboat still waiting for a little paddle.
Man in rowboat still waiting for a little paddle.
ph3r
+0 -0
Fucking Craigslist AGAIN.
Fucking Craigslist AGAIN.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Hold your tongue..
Hold your tongue..
crom
+0 -0
Dudes who aren't down with going down bring all other dudes down.
Dudes who aren't down with going down bring all other dudes down.
alittlenothing
+0 -2
What?!? Men don't READ.
But, more seriously, men seem to prefer videos and photographs. I know a great many men who watch and look at porn, but far more women who read or write erotica. I have never met a man who liked erotica, or actually preferred it to video. The authors of erotica (of any sort--gay, lesbian, straight) are predominantly female--as are their readership.
What?!? Men don't READ.
But, more seriously, men seem to prefer videos and photographs. I know a great many men who watch and look at porn, but far more women who read or write erotica. I have never met a man who liked erotica, or actually preferred it to video. The authors of erotica (of any sort--gay, lesbian, straight) are predominantly female--as are their readership.
deusoma
+0 -0
Hi. I'm a dude. I read and write the stuff. And most porn videos are unfiltered crap . You were saying?
Hi. I'm a dude. I read and write the stuff. And most porn videos are unfiltered crap . You were saying?
doppelganger
+0 -0
OK. Now that we've broached the topic. There are too many women that think we (men) are brainless automatons that exist only to stick our dicks somewhere. Well, while that's mostly correct, it is well-stated that the principal sexual organ is the brain .
We will respond better to sexy thoughts than to skin. A great lover is one that has you 75% there before you even hold hands.
That said, sometimes you just want them to shut the fuck up and spread.
OK. Now that we've broached the topic. There are too many women that think we (men) are brainless automatons that exist only to stick our dicks somewhere. Well, while that's mostly correct, it is well-stated that the principal sexual organ is the brain .
We will respond better to sexy thoughts than to skin. A great lover is one that has you 75% there before you even hold hands.
That said, sometimes you just want them to shut the fuck up and spread.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Quote:
On you, maybe.
Quote:
...the principal sexual organ is the brain.
On you, maybe.
belgand
+0 -0
But those same thoughts don't always require a ton of work or plenty of time to simmer. Simply arriving with purpose in a skirt, waxed, bereft of undergarments and leading the way in the direction of the nearest supply closet or Flemish alcove is more than enough to provide the necessary starter in the average person.
What so many people often forget is that this goes both ways. Leave some things up to the imagination occasionally rather than trying to concoct some elaborate or belabored scenario. Set up the basics and the audience will fill the rest far better than you could ever attempt to do.
But those same thoughts don't always require a ton of work or plenty of time to simmer. Simply arriving with purpose in a skirt, waxed, bereft of undergarments and leading the way in the direction of the nearest supply closet or Flemish alcove is more than enough to provide the necessary starter in the average person.
What so many people often forget is that this goes both ways. Leave some things up to the imagination occasionally rather than trying to concoct some elaborate or belabored scenario. Set up the basics and the audience will fill the rest far better than you could ever attempt to do.
alittlenothing
+0 -0
Sorry if you found the first line in my post offensive. It was a joke, nothing more.
I didn't say that there are NO men who read or write the stuff--just that most of the readers and authors seem to be female, based on bringing up the subject with many boyfriends and friends (both male and female), reading the biographies or profile pages of authors, reading comments on stories online. The guys I do know who read erotica do it rarely compared to how often they watch porn.
Conversely, I've met only one other girl (in addition to myself) who watches porn.
Most porn is really terrible, and most straight and lesbian porn seems to be geared towards men (the focus being almost entirely upon the girl in the former, and the most awkward, unrealistic sex imaginable in the latter).
Sorry if you found the first line in my post offensive. It was a joke, nothing more.
I didn't say that there are NO men who read or write the stuff--just that most of the readers and authors seem to be female, based on bringing up the subject with many boyfriends and friends (both male and female), reading the biographies or profile pages of authors, reading comments on stories online. The guys I do know who read erotica do it rarely compared to how often they watch porn.
Conversely, I've met only one other girl (in addition to myself) who watches porn.
Most porn is really terrible, and most straight and lesbian porn seems to be geared towards men (the focus being almost entirely upon the girl in the former, and the most awkward, unrealistic sex imaginable in the latter).
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
How come you know so much about every man you've ever met's porn habits?
How come you know so much about every man you've ever met's porn habits?
tekende
+0 -0
I read erotica. Depending on my mood it can be just as satisfying as, or even more satisfying than, videos.
I read erotica. Depending on my mood it can be just as satisfying as, or even more satisfying than, videos.
narenial
+0 -0
agreed.
agreed.
mensch
+0 -0
I know what you mean generally, but my Caballero Video production of Little Women is much much better than the book.
I know what you mean generally, but my Caballero Video production of Little Women is much much better than the book.
doppelganger
+0 -0
It was a book?
It was a book?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Lies.
Lies.
edd36
+0 -0
Erotica is potentially far superior to video. While reading you have far greater control over the pacing than video which means it's a far more satisfying experience generally.
For me some of the most important parts of a lady are things that video can't even begin to evoke. Something like the feel of her skin and her scent. Other things it can only express in a rather limited way, like her smile (porn stars are only acting most of the time after all). The written word however draws on your own experiences though and can, if well written, make for a far sexier time.
Of course nothing tops watching porn with your woman (or man (or both) ).
Erotica is potentially far superior to video. While reading you have far greater control over the pacing than video which means it's a far more satisfying experience generally.
For me some of the most important parts of a lady are things that video can't even begin to evoke. Something like the feel of her skin and her scent. Other things it can only express in a rather limited way, like her smile (porn stars are only acting most of the time after all). The written word however draws on your own experiences though and can, if well written, make for a far sexier time.
Of course nothing tops watching porn with your woman (or man (or both) ).
choco
+0 -0
so what about a prono where the characters narrate the things that video can't even begin to evoke. Something like the feel of her skin and her scent, etc.
so what about a prono where the characters narrate the things that video can't even begin to evoke. Something like the feel of her skin and her scent, etc.
edd36
+0 -0
I've not seen any porno where the actors can actually act for shit. In theory it could be good but I've yet to see anything that really convinced me it's more than just bodies banging together on the other side of a screen.
Ok, I tell a lie, I actually love it when sometimes when the actress gives a sly glance and mischievous grin to the camera mid bang. It's fake as hell, but i'm a real sucker for it.
I've not seen any porno where the actors can actually act for shit. In theory it could be good but I've yet to see anything that really convinced me it's more than just bodies banging together on the other side of a screen.
Ok, I tell a lie, I actually love it when sometimes when the actress gives a sly glance and mischievous grin to the camera mid bang. It's fake as hell, but i'm a real sucker for it.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Seems one alarmingly hardcore banger just got the lead in a Soderbergh film. I wish this was a joke. A girl that pretends to be insane for painful oral and anal sex is starring in a film that snobby people will like. And she never even does the fingercuffs THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE!
Seems one alarmingly hardcore banger just got the lead in a Soderbergh film. I wish this was a joke. A girl that pretends to be insane for painful oral and anal sex is starring in a film that snobby people will like. And she never even does the fingercuffs THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE!
belgand
+0 -0
Sasha Grey I'm guessing? She's been making a lot of waves towards the mainstream as of late and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see her doing that.
Sasha Grey I'm guessing? She's been making a lot of waves towards the mainstream as of late and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see her doing that.
miku224
+0 -0
I would argue (and I think a lot of people Of The Internet would agree) that Sasha Grey is less porn star and more performance artist. That's what she says, anyway.
I would argue (and I think a lot of people Of The Internet would agree) that Sasha Grey is less porn star and more performance artist. That's what she says, anyway.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If she any kind of artist in her normal movies, it would be fingerpuppet artist. When I was that age girls couldn't fit 6 bowling pins into their voids quite that easily.
If she any kind of artist in her normal movies, it would be fingerpuppet artist. When I was that age girls couldn't fit 6 bowling pins into their voids quite that easily.
tekende
+0 -0
I would argue that I don't know who Sasha Grey is.
I would argue that I don't know who Sasha Grey is.
wozzeck
+0 -0
She has penises placed inside of her body for money, famously.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions.
She has penises placed inside of her body for money, famously.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions.
tekende
+0 -0
I like the videos where everyone involved knows that the actors can't actually act, so they don't even try and instead just fill the dialogue with ridiculous innuendo and sort of smirk at the camera now and then. It can be pretty funny sometimes.
I like the videos where everyone involved knows that the actors can't actually act, so they don't even try and instead just fill the dialogue with ridiculous innuendo and sort of smirk at the camera now and then. It can be pretty funny sometimes.
belgand
+0 -0
Evan Stone is usually fairly decent when it comes to actual acting. Of course, he knows his limits and is mainly just capable of being vaguely funny. Still, he was the absolute best part of Pirates , including the sex and the horrible, terrifying Jesse Jane. I didn't know it was possible for a woman to actually look like a cheap blow-up doll, but she found a way.
Evan Stone is usually fairly decent when it comes to actual acting. Of course, he knows his limits and is mainly just capable of being vaguely funny. Still, he was the absolute best part of Pirates , including the sex and the horrible, terrifying Jesse Jane. I didn't know it was possible for a woman to actually look like a cheap blow-up doll, but she found a way.
edd36
+0 -0
Oh I loved Pirates. It was so, so bad, in terms of acting but at least they tried you know. I loved Pirates 2 more though, cause the semi-agressive lesbian sex scene with Belladonna was pretty hot. Far better than the usual fake lesbian shit.
Oh I loved Pirates. It was so, so bad, in terms of acting but at least they tried you know. I loved Pirates 2 more though, cause the semi-agressive lesbian sex scene with Belladonna was pretty hot. Far better than the usual fake lesbian shit.
edd36
+0 -0
Which isn't to say I didn't find it fake, it was just better than all the other fake stuff. Beladonna ain't the hotest porn star out there, but she does seem to actually enjoy it and go at it more enthusiastically than most.
Which isn't to say I didn't find it fake, it was just better than all the other fake stuff. Beladonna ain't the hotest porn star out there, but she does seem to actually enjoy it and go at it more enthusiastically than most.
belgand
+0 -0
It wasn't just bad in terms of acting, it was just plain bad. It was not even remotely sexy.
It wasn't just bad in terms of acting, it was just plain bad. It was not even remotely sexy.
edd36
+0 -0
I know I'm spamming this part of the conversation a fair bit, but when video is as fake as it is, sometimes you just prefer the fake blow up doll of a woman. Further from the uncanny valley and all.
I know I'm spamming this part of the conversation a fair bit, but when video is as fake as it is, sometimes you just prefer the fake blow up doll of a woman. Further from the uncanny valley and all.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Meaning not like real girls you know?
Meaning not like real girls you know?
edd36
+0 -0
Pretty much. Once I stumbled across a ponstar who vaguely resembled one of my friends, and that was hella awkward.
Pretty much. Once I stumbled across a ponstar who vaguely resembled one of my friends, and that was hella awkward.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And sexy.
I did that in reverse once. Saw a porno and much later (weeks, months) met a girl that looked like one of the participants. It was like an M.C. Escher painting for my brain exclusively.
And sexy.
I did that in reverse once. Saw a porno and much later (weeks, months) met a girl that looked like one of the participants. It was like an M.C. Escher painting for my brain exclusively.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is he the one that said "I once dreamed my cock was a Spanish galleon"? Because for that line he deserved what he got after that. Sexy times with two lady pirates.
Is he the one that said "I once dreamed my cock was a Spanish galleon"? Because for that line he deserved what he got after that. Sexy times with two lady pirates.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Have you ever seen a porno where the writer was actually trying extremely hard but his slightly-above-average-for-a-porno lines are ruined by the 90% fake harlot uttering them? Those are pretty funny.
Have you ever seen a porno where the writer was actually trying extremely hard but his slightly-above-average-for-a-porno lines are ruined by the 90% fake harlot uttering them? Those are pretty funny.
wolfensti
+0 -0
The best clearly is Translated porn. It gets out of the window.
The best clearly is Translated porn. It gets out of the window.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That is perfect.
That is perfect.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Quote:
Yeah, I think that's Clint Howard over there on the right.
Quote:
...and wow are they ever fugly!
Yeah, I think that's Clint Howard over there on the right.
narenial
+1 -0
"Damn, Ron Howard's brother. You are your own kind of ugly."
"Damn, Ron Howard's brother. You are your own kind of ugly."
nhennies
+10 -0
I think I speak for everyone when I say:
HOLY SHIT
I think I speak for everyone when I say:
HOLY SHIT
tessebatt
+1 -1
Whoo! Don't know what to say, except -- WHOO! Cartilage Head!
Whoo! Don't know what to say, except -- WHOO! Cartilage Head!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Holy god damn, I was reading panel 6 and my wandering eye fell to panel 9 and I couldn't finish reading.
Holy god damn, I was reading panel 6 and my wandering eye fell to panel 9 and I couldn't finish reading.
f00ker
+0 -0
hey Fooker.. no one can read your posts, you're on the global ignore list.
if you wanna post here, you have to make a new account, then click here
hey Fooker.. no one can read your posts, you're on the global ignore list.
if you wanna post here, you have to make a new account, then click here
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Would you just fuck off.
Would you just fuck off.
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
mystkmanat
+1 -1
Ray can't spell the word monologue.
And OH MAN Cartilage Head??? You'd have to be Lady Bouree to have seen that one coming.
Ray can't spell the word monologue.
And OH MAN Cartilage Head??? You'd have to be Lady Bouree to have seen that one coming.
hatstand_mcq
+29 -0
Cartilage Head did not buy that stock ticker. He stole it from the iron pagoda in which his mother lives. She was lying under a cloud of "morphine shivers", cradling a daguerreotype of her dead husband. She was wrapped in sheets of black silk and Spanish lace. The music was theremin. The sky was the colour of blood.
Cartilage Head did not buy that stock ticker. He stole it from the iron pagoda in which his mother lives. She was lying under a cloud of "morphine shivers", cradling a daguerreotype of her dead husband. She was wrapped in sheets of black silk and Spanish lace. The music was theremin. The sky was the colour of blood.
greyfield
+11 -0
A bell shrouded in the fog rings out the hour, casting up throngs of birds, chattering accusations. In the distance, an old man slowly turns the crank of an antique phonograph, that plays forever a recording of the first lie ever told to a child.
A bell shrouded in the fog rings out the hour, casting up throngs of birds, chattering accusations. In the distance, an old man slowly turns the crank of an antique phonograph, that plays forever a recording of the first lie ever told to a child.
cpnglxynchos
+15 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Is that an ]igneous thong ?
Is that an ]igneous thong ?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it makes ya wonder exactly how long the Bot's've been around, y'know?
it makes ya wonder exactly how long the Bot's've been around, y'know?
ph3r
+2 -0
Us bots we are havink life for long time. Only Lie Bot tell dinosaurs to be jumpink in volcano and it is takink long time for next sentient species. He is always doink this, you know?
Us bots we are havink life for long time. Only Lie Bot tell dinosaurs to be jumpink in volcano and it is takink long time for next sentient species. He is always doink this, you know?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
If it's a thong.
If it's a thong.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Igneous Thong was the fat guy with a hammer in one of the conan movies.
I tell no lies.
Igneous Thong was the fat guy with a hammer in one of the conan movies.
I tell no lies.
quazifuji
+0 -0
Shouldn't the music be saw?
Shouldn't the music be saw?
thegoblins
+6 -0
Music should be heard and not seen.
Music should be heard and not seen.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
was too lazy to type it. a chubby.
was too lazy to type it. a chubby.
quazifuji
+0 -0
Ordinarily, yes, but this is Cartilage Head. His music is more than just an auditory experience. The screeching of the bow on the saw combines with the visual performance, the way his legs curve with the instrument and tears drip down his contorted face in a synesthetic ballet of sorrow.
Ordinarily, yes, but this is Cartilage Head. His music is more than just an auditory experience. The screeching of the bow on the saw combines with the visual performance, the way his legs curve with the instrument and tears drip down his contorted face in a synesthetic ballet of sorrow.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
"It's enough to may a grown frog weep,", is that what you're saying?
"It's enough to may a grown frog weep,", is that what you're saying?
21echoes
+0 -0
this arc just got 100% better. Speak it, Ginsberg.
this arc just got 100% better. Speak it, Ginsberg.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It's today!
It's today!
ishuta
+0 -0
ROAST BEEE
ROAST BEEE
ishuta
+0 -2
Carty Head is my favourite Achewood character because he is always so sad.
It would be my pleasure to make him chuckle, maybe. Oh, Cartilage Heaaad...
Carty Head is my favourite Achewood character because he is always so sad.
It would be my pleasure to make him chuckle, maybe. Oh, Cartilage Heaaad...
srikamaraja
+2 -0
Even in death Mom-mom's eye will not stop Weepin'.
Even in death Mom-mom's eye will not stop Weepin'.
lynnym
+0 -0
One of my favorite lines, incidentally. I wonder what Pete is doing these days?
One of my favorite lines, incidentally. I wonder what Pete is doing these days?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Last we saw him he was waxing poetic on or around a Wii, wasn't he?
Last we saw him he was waxing poetic on or around a Wii, wasn't he?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
He also has a terribly appropriate Assetbar persona.
He also has a terribly appropriate Assetbar persona.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
daidai changed his avicon. no longer can i chuppy blank nice pete comments.
daidai changed his avicon. no longer can i chuppy blank nice pete comments.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Well, there is also nicepete, who shows up when referenced.
Usually.
Well, there is also nicepete, who shows up when referenced.
Usually.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
daidai's the only one i care about.
daidai's the only one i care about.
nice_pete
+6 -0
Is that so.
Is that so.
plummet
+0 -0
an ache wood role play, you say?
an ache wood role play, you say?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh dammit. i thought you were he.
daidai, you broke my heart.
oh dammit. i thought you were he.
daidai, you broke my heart.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I have the melon baller and shaker-salts you have ordered, most kind Sir.
I have the melon baller and shaker-salts you have ordered, most kind Sir.
ham_shoes
+0 -0
Perhaps that is the Weepy-Weep Way...
Perhaps that is the Weepy-Weep Way...
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
The story about Ricky D is that he fell for a lez at a block party. Ray loves telling that anecdote.
The story about Ricky D is that he fell for a lez at a block party. Ray loves telling that anecdote.
lynnym
+0 -0
That was hell of a time, when that happened.
That was hell of a time, when that happened.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the punchline was that after he told her he thought she was a lesbian, he sees Cuervo in her hand and realizes he's made the biggest mistake in his life.
it's not a particularly good joke...
the punchline was that after he told her he thought she was a lesbian, he sees Cuervo in her hand and realizes he's made the biggest mistake in his life.
it's not a particularly good joke...
doppelganger
+2 -0
The Cuervo Gold
The fine Columbian
Make tonight a wonderful thing
The Cuervo Gold
The fine Columbian
Make tonight a wonderful thing
mensch
+0 -0
Hey
Hey
erinye
+0 -0
Chubbied for gratuitous Steely Dan.
Chubbied for gratuitous Steely Dan.
cpnglxynchos
+6 -0
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
snatch22
+0 -0
My thoughts exactly. This shit just got REAL.
My thoughts exactly. This shit just got REAL.
relaxing
+0 -0
Came here to say this.
Came here to say this.
notcool
+0 -0
The resolution on my monitor is such that I did not see our "dear friend" until I scrolled down.
Then I couldn't stop screaming.
The resolution on my monitor is such that I did not see our "dear friend" until I scrolled down.
Then I couldn't stop screaming.
planetidiot
+0 -0
Today I will get gross.
Today I will get gross.
jeffspaulding
+5 -0
I tried to get gross, but the best I could do was 143.
I tried to get gross, but the best I could do was 143.
anomalous3
+0 -0
unless it's a baker's gross, in which case you're off by EVEN MORE. (26 to be exact)
unless it's a baker's gross, in which case you're off by EVEN MORE. (26 to be exact)
thegoblins
+1 -0
At least you scored, several times.
At least you scored, several times.
doppelganger
+0 -0
Close, but no cigar.
Like 668 -- Neighbor of the Beast.
Close, but no cigar.
Like 668 -- Neighbor of the Beast.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Second cousin of the devil ? Friend of Satan brother ?
Second cousin of the devil ? Friend of Satan brother ?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
all of whom SHOUT. SHOUT. SHOUT. (shout at the devil~)
neighbor in his stained tank holding an empty beer can, shaking fist that holds said can, cousin 'cos d here cashed the last joint they shared and friend of his brother 'cos he probably picked on him once upon a time back in like third grade for his Dunk-a-roos.
all of whom SHOUT. SHOUT. SHOUT. (shout at the devil~)
neighbor in his stained tank holding an empty beer can, shaking fist that holds said can, cousin 'cos d here cashed the last joint they shared and friend of his brother 'cos he probably picked on him once upon a time back in like third grade for his Dunk-a-roos.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
LET IT ALL OUT
LET IT ALL OUT
waldo913
+0 -0
Oh sweet Christ on a segway, yes. He has returned to us.
Oh sweet Christ on a segway, yes. He has returned to us.
tetsujin
+0 -0
There will be Sapphic Erotica fit for a king...
*whistles* Here, King! Here, King!
There will be Sapphic Erotica fit for a king...
*whistles* Here, King! Here, King!
srikamaraja
+2 -0
The Sapphic Erotica will be judged only by the Cliterati.
The Sapphic Erotica will be judged only by the Cliterati.
greyfield
+1 -0
This comment justifies the addition of a third type of rating: Whacks upon the head
"Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames and 1 Whacks upon the head (marked as spam 0 times)"
This comment justifies the addition of a third type of rating: Whacks upon the head
"Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames and 1 Whacks upon the head (marked as spam 0 times)"
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
There will be Sapphic Erotica.
There will be Cartilage Head.
There will be Blood.
[IMGS OFF]
There will be Sapphic Erotica.
There will be Cartilage Head.
There will be Blood.
[IMGS OFF]
elzilcho
+0 -0
There will be tables and chairs.
There will be pony rides and dancing bears.
There'll even be a band.
And that's not all.
There will be snacks, there will.
There will be snacks, there will...
be...
there will be snacks
There will be tables and chairs.
There will be pony rides and dancing bears.
There'll even be a band.
And that's not all.
There will be snacks, there will.
There will be snacks, there will...
be...
there will be snacks
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
I drink your snacks......I drink them all up....
I drink your snacks......I drink them all up....
comrade_tom
+0 -0
And When i have no teeth I WILL GUM YOU
And When i have no teeth I WILL GUM YOU
doomchild
+1 -0
There's mischief and malarkies
but no queers...
or yids...
or darkies
There's mischief and malarkies
but no queers...
or yids...
or darkies
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Wonderful.
Wonderful.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And to all of those who don't understand this reference and thus possibly think I've just endorsed homophobia and racism...
Your opinion counts for nothing because you didn't get the reference.
And to all of those who don't understand this reference and thus possibly think I've just endorsed homophobia and racism...
Your opinion counts for nothing because you didn't get the reference.
belgand
+0 -0
No need to get vicious about it....
No need to get vicious about it....
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Roast Beef's stance in the sixth panel tells you just how fucking real he's keeping it. Serious times, dogg.
Roast Beef's stance in the sixth panel tells you just how fucking real he's keeping it. Serious times, dogg.
voodoolily
+0 -0
Ray is going to get a second chance at saving a dying man. His redemption is forthcoming.
Ray is going to get a second chance at saving a dying man. His redemption is forthcoming.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
as soon as he gets seen out as a literary fraud, he can do a thing. you just know it's gonna be a huge battle royale on the stage for life, reputation and limb. can the BoC pull it out again?
of course.
he's Ray.
as soon as he gets seen out as a literary fraud, he can do a thing. you just know it's gonna be a huge battle royale on the stage for life, reputation and limb. can the BoC pull it out again?
of course.
he's Ray.
lateadopter
+1 -0
Roast Beef and Cartilage Head is much better. With luck, this arc may never lead to any sapphic erotica at all.
(Sorry, thegoblins, I know you were nursing a, well, it's not a hard-on, what would you call it? A soft-on? A juicy? A receptive state? Anyway, the bated breath and all that--sorry if this turn of events means you don't get to breathe again.)
Roast Beef and Cartilage Head is much better. With luck, this arc may never lead to any sapphic erotica at all.
(Sorry, thegoblins, I know you were nursing a, well, it's not a hard-on, what would you call it? A soft-on? A juicy? A receptive state? Anyway, the bated breath and all that--sorry if this turn of events means you don't get to breathe again.)
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
I believe the technical (and politically correct) term is 'wide-on'.
I believe the technical (and politically correct) term is 'wide-on'.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
right on.
(ride-on?)
^i am terrible.^
right on.
(ride-on?)
^i am terrible.^
wolfensti
+0 -0
Right you are, also i like your Weegee. Sadly i see him less and less on the chans.
Right you are, also i like your Weegee. Sadly i see him less and less on the chans.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
He is by far my favourite meme. Unfortunately I find myself on 4chan less and less because it is full of even more fail and AIDS than usual. =(
He is by far my favourite meme. Unfortunately I find myself on 4chan less and less because it is full of even more fail and AIDS than usual. =(
swordsower
+0 -0
4chan is blocked in the middle east, yo. It makes Mom-mom's eye weep.
4chan is blocked in the middle east, yo. It makes Mom-mom's eye weep.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
"Rocking a Stiff Bean under the Hood."
"Rocking a Stiff Bean under the Hood."
thegoblins
+0 -0
I just meant things kept on building up to some sort of ridiculousness that hasn't happened yet, and it was killing me! I was joking about being all bothered.
I just meant things kept on building up to some sort of ridiculousness that hasn't happened yet, and it was killing me! I was joking about being all bothered.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I checked, she really wasn't all that bothered. The dew point was way too low
I checked, she really wasn't all that bothered. The dew point was way too low
thegoblins
+0 -0
It gets pretty humid in those parts sometimes.
It gets pretty humid in those parts sometimes.
tekende
+0 -0
It's true; my glasses fogged up last time I was in there.
It's true; my glasses fogged up last time I was in there.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
What's that, Colonel Angus?
What's that, Colonel Angus?
edd36
+0 -0
Hey, even if Onstad doesn't deliver, I'd be more than a little suprised if SOMEONE here didn't write something of a sapphic nature in compensation...
Hey, even if Onstad doesn't deliver, I'd be more than a little suprised if SOMEONE here didn't write something of a sapphic nature in compensation...
chloraloner
+0 -0
Oh Lawd.
Oh Lawd.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Lordy-lordy! Look who's turning 4040!
Lordy-lordy! Look who's turning 4040!
crom
+0 -0
CARTILAGE HEAD! You see, this arc has only been picking up steam. Like a locomotive chugging to awesomeness.
To wit: Roast Beef is throwing down at a sapphic erotica contest between Teodor and the founder of Williams-Sonoma, who are all, by the way, in elephant suits, because he received word from a palmist that his life is in grave danger.
And Cartilage Head is involved.
CARTILAGE HEAD! You see, this arc has only been picking up steam. Like a locomotive chugging to awesomeness.
To wit: Roast Beef is throwing down at a sapphic erotica contest between Teodor and the founder of Williams-Sonoma, who are all, by the way, in elephant suits, because he received word from a palmist that his life is in grave danger.
And Cartilage Head is involved.
aperson
+0 -0
Oh my giddy aunt.
Oh my giddy aunt.
ninjamike
+0 -0
And then, as if by magic, the arc suddenly became good. :D
And then, as if by magic, the arc suddenly became good. :D
lucidz
+0 -0
I really do not know what to think about this. I have been extremely excited for the next strip for the last three strips.
Each of these has been a combination of both let down and further build up.
Like waiting for a climax that you just know you're going to pass out drunk before reaching...
I really do not know what to think about this. I have been extremely excited for the next strip for the last three strips.
Each of these has been a combination of both let down and further build up.
Like waiting for a climax that you just know you're going to pass out drunk before reaching...
ishuta
+0 -0
Cartilage Head listens to Miles Davis, the Beach Boys, and Glenn Gould's sad first performance of the Goldberg variations.
Cartilage Head listens to Miles Davis, the Beach Boys, and Glenn Gould's sad first performance of the Goldberg variations.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I see him as more of a Jelly Roll Morton man.
I see him as more of a Jelly Roll Morton man.
troy_convers
+0 -0
I'm thinking more Robert Lockwood Jr.
I'm thinking more Robert Lockwood Jr.
doppelganger
+0 -0
Definitely a Bird & Diz dude.
Definitely a Bird & Diz dude.
narenial
+0 -0
You're all wrong -- he listens only to Albert Aylers.
You're all wrong -- he listens only to Albert Aylers.
narenial
+0 -0
Minus the 's', of course. I am a idiot.
Minus the 's', of course. I am a idiot.
radi8orsex
+0 -0
No, you are an idiot.
No, you are an idiot.
narenial
+0 -0
it was deliberate.
it was deliberate.
wingspan
+0 -0
It was deliberate.
It was deliberate.
doppelganger
+0 -0
Cut her some slack, dudes. There has been plenty of pernicious punctuation problems previously perpetrated by others, that you have not harassed.
This chick digs Art Tatum, for crying out loud, she's cool in my book, notwithstanding typos.
Cut her some slack, dudes. There has been plenty of pernicious punctuation problems previously perpetrated by others, that you have not harassed.
This chick digs Art Tatum, for crying out loud, she's cool in my book, notwithstanding typos.
wingspan
+3 -0
There have been...
There have been...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Dots are believed by many writers of our day to be a good substitute for effective writing. They are certainly an easy one. Let us have a few more. . . . . .)
- M. R. James
Dots are believed by many writers of our day to be a good substitute for effective writing. They are certainly an easy one. Let us have a few more. . . . . .)
- M. R. James
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Ellipses are the only way for people who speak English to express their extinct Subjunctive.
Ellipses are the only way for people who speak English to express their extinct Subjunctive.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Ellipses -- snakes with speech impediments?
Ellipses -- snakes with speech impediments?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Are we going to allow all girls who like Art Tatum to make grammatical errors? Is that a world we want to live in?
Are we going to allow all girls who like Art Tatum to make grammatical errors? Is that a world we want to live in?
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
DOPPELGANGER WANTS TO KISS NARENIAL! On the TITTIES!
DOPPELGANGER WANTS TO KISS NARENIAL! On the TITTIES!
morbo
+0 -0
i propose he is more of an aquabats fan
i propose he is more of an aquabats fan
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
line, up, the rickshaws.
right down the derby line~
let's all crash in-to each otha'!
it's dem-o-lit-ion time! (right now! RIGHT NOW!)
line, up, the rickshaws.
right down the derby line~
let's all crash in-to each otha'!
it's dem-o-lit-ion time! (right now! RIGHT NOW!)
ishuta
+0 -0
what about all those gimmicky blind jazzmen
what about all those gimmicky blind jazzmen
doppelganger
+0 -0
Blind Lemon Jello?
Blind Lemon Jello?
narenial
+0 -0
Art Tatum?
Art Tatum?
narenial
+0 -0
Although, he wasn't exactly gimmicky.
Although, he wasn't exactly gimmicky.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
He wasn't exactly blind. (legally, yes, but he could see passably with one eye).
He was certainly not gimmicky. Genius and Game-changing? Yes. Gimmicky? No!
He wasn't exactly blind. (legally, yes, but he could see passably with one eye).
He was certainly not gimmicky. Genius and Game-changing? Yes. Gimmicky? No!
bradford
+1 -0
All Cartilage Head listens to is old Beatles albums with all the audio stripped out except for Linda McCartney in the background, softly playing a tambourine and singing off key, really quietly.
All Cartilage Head listens to is old Beatles albums with all the audio stripped out except for Linda McCartney in the background, softly playing a tambourine and singing off key, really quietly.
thegoblins
+0 -1
Paul McCartney didn't even meet Linda Eastman until 1967, and they were married in '69. She was never in the recording studio with the Beatles. She is no Yoko. Accuracy, mofo.
Paul McCartney didn't even meet Linda Eastman until 1967, and they were married in '69. She was never in the recording studio with the Beatles. She is no Yoko. Accuracy, mofo.
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
True, and it doesn't work with Wings albums because they were shit to start with.
True, and it doesn't work with Wings albums because they were shit to start with.
tekende
+1 -0
No, you misunderstand. These were recordings of Linda listening to old Beatles albums in 1972.
No, you misunderstand. These were recordings of Linda listening to old Beatles albums in 1972.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Is this the saddest thing?
Is this the saddest thing?
tekende
+0 -0
I think it would be even sadder if the wife in question were not Linda but the one who had only one leg.
I think it would be even sadder if the wife in question were not Linda but the one who had only one leg.
paperboy_2000
+4 -0
In the first part of the recoridng you can hear her trying to dance to the record, but every time the wooden leg hits the ground it makes the record skip. If you listen really hard in the second half, you can here her rocking back and forth in place, still out of time.
In the first part of the recoridng you can hear her trying to dance to the record, but every time the wooden leg hits the ground it makes the record skip. If you listen really hard in the second half, you can here her rocking back and forth in place, still out of time.
tekende
+0 -0
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
belgand
+0 -0
Cynthia Lennon is the saddest thing.
Cynthia Lennon is the saddest thing.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I really don't like John Lennon.
I really don't like John Lennon.
choco
+1 -0
so you're glad he's dead?
so you're glad he's dead?
thegoblins
+0 -0
No, I don't hate. Just dislike.
No, I don't hate. Just dislike.
tekende
+0 -0
While I enjoy the irony of one of the wealthiest pop stars in history exhorting us to imagine a world with no possessions, I don't particularly care for Lennon either.
While I enjoy the irony of one of the wealthiest pop stars in history exhorting us to imagine a world with no possessions, I don't particularly care for Lennon either.
belgand
+0 -0
I haven't fully formulated an opinion on him overall, but he was certainly a complete asshole for quite a damn long time and, it would seem, more or less until he met Yoko. Leaving his wife in a totally dickish manner.
I haven't fully formulated an opinion on him overall, but he was certainly a complete asshole for quite a damn long time and, it would seem, more or less until he met Yoko. Leaving his wife in a totally dickish manner.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
But he left Yoko in a similarly dickish manner (his so-called 18-month "lost weekend").
Not a great human being. But what the fuck, you can still enjoy the art even if the artist is a complete twat.
But he left Yoko in a similarly dickish manner (his so-called 18-month "lost weekend").
Not a great human being. But what the fuck, you can still enjoy the art even if the artist is a complete twat.
ph3r
+1 -0
So, guys, this guy named Michael Jackson just died...
So, guys, this guy named Michael Jackson just died...
narenial
+0 -0
Cases in point -- Rufus Wainwright. Morrisey. Brian Warner.
Cases in point -- Rufus Wainwright. Morrisey. Brian Warner.
rowboat
+1 -0
Anyone who would stop listening to an artist because he or she was personally a cock would have some pretty slim pickings left to choose from. Not a good policy.
Anyone who would stop listening to an artist because he or she was personally a cock would have some pretty slim pickings left to choose from. Not a good policy.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Add The Rolling Stones, The Who, Gary Glitter--damn, there goes the whole British Invasion.
Add The Rolling Stones, The Who, Gary Glitter--damn, there goes the whole British Invasion.
doppelganger
+0 -0
Gerry & The Pacemakers seemed like a bunch of nice lads.
Gerry & The Pacemakers seemed like a bunch of nice lads.
rowboat
+0 -0
I think it'll be easier work to make a list of artists who weren't cocks. Someone else will have to. I'm at a loss.
I think it'll be easier work to make a list of artists who weren't cocks. Someone else will have to. I'm at a loss.
rowboat
+0 -0
I guess Leonard Cohen seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe David Byrne. Hard to say, though. For all I know they both beat up girls and drink Smirnoff Ice.
I guess Leonard Cohen seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe David Byrne. Hard to say, though. For all I know they both beat up girls and drink Smirnoff Ice.
narenial
+0 -0
Of course not. I love them all.
Of course not. I love them all.
tekende
+0 -0
How is Morrissey a cock.
How is Morrissey a cock.
choco
+0 -0
Tom Waits seems like an okay guy. and I would fuck the spice girls*
*(or most female artists)
Tom Waits seems like an okay guy. and I would fuck the spice girls*
*(or most female artists)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Tom Waits is British?*
*Tom Waits is not British.
Tom Waits is British?*
*Tom Waits is not British.
sonofkong
+0 -0
Wainwright a dick? I disagree he is pretty charming
Wainwright a dick? I disagree he is pretty charming
edd36
+0 -0
I seem to vaguely remember that he claimed he was so dedicated to peace and love because by nature he was a violent bastard, so at least he was pretty honest about himself.
I seem to vaguely remember that he claimed he was so dedicated to peace and love because by nature he was a violent bastard, so at least he was pretty honest about himself.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
choco
+0 -0
what? Wow! so unexpected! On the off chance, however, I did prepare some remarks...
oh, this one no I dunno how I chose my name. it was just kinda random. they all are.
what? Wow! so unexpected! On the off chance, however, I did prepare some remarks...
oh, this one no I dunno how I chose my name. it was just kinda random. they all are.
drcharlesburney
+0 -0
Sad? No. Sad? No. No.
Sad? No. Sad? No. No.
daidai
+1 -0
As far as I'm concerned, ladies and gentlemen, shit just got real.
As far as I'm concerned, ladies and gentlemen, shit just got real.
wolfensti
+3 -0
Pose as a team
Pose as a team
lolsworth
+0 -0
Oh holy shit. Cartilage Head. It's the Rapture.
Oh holy shit. Cartilage Head. It's the Rapture.
invidious
+0 -0
Are you prepared for the second coming of Cartilage Head? Repent!
Are you prepared for the second coming of Cartilage Head? Repent!
swordsower
+0 -0
Farewell halcyon days of youth, he comes.
Farewell halcyon days of youth, he comes.
philophobe
+3 -0
Emboldened by the anonymity of a sunglasses'd pachyderm, the typically mordant cat embraces his impending doom in the reckless fashion of a death-row inmate forgoing his final meal for one last spirited game of Edward 40-hands, where the 'malt liquor' is an ale of fermented mattress-stuffing and saliva brewed in the cell's toilet.
He has no bottles, of course, so the 'game' consists primarily of the ritualistic scooping of the toilet brew into the man's left shoe. Eyes jammed shut, he pours from the left shoe to the right, and remembers drinking mint juleps with Delilah, and her flaxen hair.
Emboldened by the anonymity of a sunglasses'd pachyderm, the typically mordant cat embraces his impending doom in the reckless fashion of a death-row inmate forgoing his final meal for one last spirited game of Edward 40-hands, where the 'malt liquor' is an ale of fermented mattress-stuffing and saliva brewed in the cell's toilet.
He has no bottles, of course, so the 'game' consists primarily of the ritualistic scooping of the toilet brew into the man's left shoe. Eyes jammed shut, he pours from the left shoe to the right, and remembers drinking mint juleps with Delilah, and her flaxen hair.
reusable_bottle
+0 -0
Chubbied for effort!
Chubbied for effort!
avatar
+0 -0
and I guess that's why they call it the jews, 'cause time on my hands, could be time spent with ju!
and I guess that's why they call it the jews, 'cause time on my hands, could be time spent with ju!
plummet
+1 -0
laughing like goyim, living like hebrews
rolling like thunder, under the covers
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE JEWS
laughing like goyim, living like hebrews
rolling like thunder, under the covers
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE JEWS
belgand
+2 -0
While awesome in its way, I do not care for the appearance of Cartilage Head. He was a one-time character inseparable from his arc. That he should appear in another situation seems... tacky.
Just because something is good does not mean it should become recurring. Sometimes the best you can do is make your entrance, give you few lines, and leave them wanting more forever.
While awesome in its way, I do not care for the appearance of Cartilage Head. He was a one-time character inseparable from his arc. That he should appear in another situation seems... tacky.
Just because something is good does not mean it should become recurring. Sometimes the best you can do is make your entrance, give you few lines, and leave them wanting more forever.
thegoblins
+2 -0
Your mother, she is a one-time character inseparable from what I did to her last night. Her appearance in this "yo momma is so fat" joke seems...tacky.
But seriously. What a whale.
Your mother, she is a one-time character inseparable from what I did to her last night. Her appearance in this "yo momma is so fat" joke seems...tacky.
But seriously. What a whale.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
SO big.
SO big.
belgand
+0 -0
Hey you, don't be ragging on whales like that. They can't help being the way they are. How would you like living in an environment that you can't actually breathe in?
Whales have enough problems as it is.
Hey you, don't be ragging on whales like that. They can't help being the way they are. How would you like living in an environment that you can't actually breathe in?
Whales have enough problems as it is.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I really do feel sorry for whales. They're living in an environment that's essentially like a blistering desert for them, not to mention the oxygen dilemma. God sure made it crappy to be a whale.
I really do feel sorry for whales. They're living in an environment that's essentially like a blistering desert for them, not to mention the oxygen dilemma. God sure made it crappy to be a whale.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
On the other hand, they're frickin' huge. I have a theory myself that the comparative size of an organism is directly proportional to their satisfaction with life.
I have no evidence to support this theory, but I like it anyway because it makes the elephants happy.
On the other hand, they're frickin' huge. I have a theory myself that the comparative size of an organism is directly proportional to their satisfaction with life.
I have no evidence to support this theory, but I like it anyway because it makes the elephants happy.
tekende
+0 -0
Whales are pretty scary. Mostly because they're so damn big.
Whales are pretty scary. Mostly because they're so damn big.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Tell me he doesn't want to kill you:
[IMGS OFF]
Tell me he doesn't want to kill you:
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Living up to the hype.
Living up to the hype.
edd36
+0 -0
That's no whale, it's just an overgrown dolphin with attitude.
That's no whale, it's just an overgrown dolphin with attitude.
edd36
+0 -0
Now THIS is a whale you don't want to cross. [IMGS OFF]
Now THIS is a whale you don't want to cross. [IMGS OFF]
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
Why'd the chicken cross the whale?
Why'd the chicken cross the whale?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I luuuuuurve elephants.
I luuuuuurve elephants.
choco
+0 -0
I once had a toy elephant from India. I forget under what circumstances it came to me. It was mechanical and battery operated.
I once had a toy elephant from India. I forget under what circumstances it came to me. It was mechanical and battery operated.
thegoblins
+0 -0
What mechanical actions did it perform?
What mechanical actions did it perform?
choco
+0 -0
I think it walked. Come to think of it maybe it was wind up and not battery powered??? I think it was broken however. Weird. I wonder what ever happened to it. Maybe I suppressed the memory. I had a very dysfunctional relationship with reality, growing up. If a toy broke, it could bother me a lot.
I think it walked. Come to think of it maybe it was wind up and not battery powered??? I think it was broken however. Weird. I wonder what ever happened to it. Maybe I suppressed the memory. I had a very dysfunctional relationship with reality, growing up. If a toy broke, it could bother me a lot.
thegoblins
+0 -0
They make dogs that walk in a zombie-like fashion. Perhaps this was like that, except more trunk-y.
They make dogs that walk in a zombie-like fashion. Perhaps this was like that, except more trunk-y.
wolfensti
+0 -0
So that is why i'm unhappy when i need to remove my pants...
So that is why i'm unhappy when i need to remove my pants...
thegoblins
+0 -0
Imagine how I feel!
Imagine how I feel!
edd36
+0 -0
On the other hand they feel pretty much weightless while in the water, something a lot of people would kill to be able to feel like 24/7.
Oh and they have huge penises, that has to count for something.
On the other hand they feel pretty much weightless while in the water, something a lot of people would kill to be able to feel like 24/7.
Oh and they have huge penises, that has to count for something.
edd36
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Couldn't resist.
[IMGS OFF]
Couldn't resist.
edd36
+0 -0
Goddamn you Assetbar! Goddamn you to hell! Oh well, the relavent part is -> that way on the picture.
Goddamn you Assetbar! Goddamn you to hell! Oh well, the relavent part is -> that way on the picture.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Poor lady whales.
Poor lady whales.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Poor lady whales have it even worse.
Poor lady whales have it even worse.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
M... Me?
M... Me?
belgand
+0 -0
Both sexes of dolphins have prehensile genitals. They can pick things up with them.
I don't know whether to be aroused, disturbed, or jealous.
Both sexes of dolphins have prehensile genitals. They can pick things up with them.
I don't know whether to be aroused, disturbed, or jealous.
narenial
+0 -0
Easy answer -- all three.
Easy answer -- all three.
gladi8orrex
+10 -0
i wan' arrenst ur attentian 4 a monment. i wan' u all 2 follow me through this journey im'a take yall one. ahem.
i woz gon' grocery store wit ma granma teh other day an'--try an' keep up, nah--an she drinks only bottle water which is NBD for me i was like "how many cases"
"four"
"aight" an' i load dem up for her cuz she old an' i'm yung an' strong an i load them into teh bed of the cart cuz teh bottom had an' 12 pack of papertowels (bounty brand) anways, we was walkin' long an' she says
"anyfink u wan' jus' load it up" an i was all
"aight" so i load an' 8 pack of 20 oz orange gatorade and a 6 pack fo 12 oz gatorade (orange flav. 2 diff sizes for thirst scalability. more on this later) but dat was to hannle my drink needs cuz im very active an only gatorade provides teh enrgy i need 2 stay strong an' not waste muh workout. anyways, what i tries to say is i still needed some snax cuz i do enjoy them so, but at teh same time was get a reg. grocery run for ma gramma, lik bread, detergent, shit lik dat all stacked otnop of teh 4 cases of bottle water in teh bed (i mention dis b4 plz try 2 paytention) but wat i realized woz, as we trav through teh cookie/chips isle of teh store she picked ot her fav chipz which i dun eat cuz i dun like teh taste an' she was like
"pick ur chipz and cookies and wat not wateer u wan' den we go ove' an' get cat food,etc"
an i said
"aight" but den my eyes fell epon teh cart, nearly full aweddy with still some vital cat food to put an' if i waz 2 get ma cookies there'd b no room so i was all in my head "ya know wat? ima skip teh snax dis time" an' i did an' we couldn't fit erything as it was an' i jus' kept thinkin' we couldn't get all we wanted cuz she needed to fill the bottom of teh cart wit 4 cases of stuff you can get for free from teh tap**. damn, wat a whirl we live in.
**i know u pay 4 water bill an isn't exactly free. i know this.
i wan' arrenst ur attentian 4 a monment. i wan' u all 2 follow me through this journey im'a take yall one. ahem.
i woz gon' grocery store wit ma granma teh other day an'--try an' keep up, nah--an she drinks only bottle water which is NBD for me i was like "how many cases"
"four"
"aight" an' i load dem up for her cuz she old an' i'm yung an' strong an i load them into teh bed of the cart cuz teh bottom had an' 12 pack of papertowels (bounty brand) anways, we was walkin' long an' she says
"anyfink u wan' jus' load it up" an i was all
"aight" so i load an' 8 pack of 20 oz orange gatorade and a 6 pack fo 12 oz gatorade (orange flav. 2 diff sizes for thirst scalability. more on this later) but dat was to hannle my drink needs cuz im very active an only gatorade provides teh enrgy i need 2 stay strong an' not waste muh workout. anyways, what i tries to say is i still needed some snax cuz i do enjoy them so, but at teh same time was get a reg. grocery run for ma gramma, lik bread, detergent, shit lik dat all stacked otnop of teh 4 cases of bottle water in teh bed (i mention dis b4 plz try 2 paytention) but wat i realized woz, as we trav through teh cookie/chips isle of teh store she picked ot her fav chipz which i dun eat cuz i dun like teh taste an' she was like
"pick ur chipz and cookies and wat not wateer u wan' den we go ove' an' get cat food,etc"
an i said
"aight" but den my eyes fell epon teh cart, nearly full aweddy with still some vital cat food to put an' if i waz 2 get ma cookies there'd b no room so i was all in my head "ya know wat? ima skip teh snax dis time" an' i did an' we couldn't fit erything as it was an' i jus' kept thinkin' we couldn't get all we wanted cuz she needed to fill the bottom of teh cart wit 4 cases of stuff you can get for free from teh tap**. damn, wat a whirl we live in.
**i know u pay 4 water bill an isn't exactly free. i know this.
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
what, bitch?
[IMGS OFF]
what, bitch?
[IMGS OFF]
choco
+0 -0
thank you Gladdi, for introducing me to Sido, the Deutsch equivalent of Insane Clown Posse. I'm going to go clean my brain out with a shotgun now
thank you Gladdi, for introducing me to Sido, the Deutsch equivalent of Insane Clown Posse. I'm going to go clean my brain out with a shotgun now
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
(o\../o) <--("i m sido, grrr")
(o\../o) <--("i m sido, grrr")
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well, I think your irritation was unjustified, as it wasn't your grandmother's duty to buy you snacks anyway. It's her money, yes?
Well, I think your irritation was unjustified, as it wasn't your grandmother's duty to buy you snacks anyway. It's her money, yes?
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
not irritation realization an' u rly fink i'ma let my 80 somefink year old gramma have to pay her own groceries while i'm around? honey i ain't broke
not irritation realization an' u rly fink i'ma let my 80 somefink year old gramma have to pay her own groceries while i'm around? honey i ain't broke
wingspan
+0 -0
I always suspected you were a true gentleman at heart.
I always suspected you were a true gentleman at heart.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Ah well, I do apologize. Clearly you are a good grandson.
Ah well, I do apologize. Clearly you are a good grandson.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
It is so important to love and care for ones Gramma. They are truly the most precious thing in life.
Listen to her stories. They are Important. She is actually from History.
It is so important to love and care for ones Gramma. They are truly the most precious thing in life.
Listen to her stories. They are Important. She is actually from History.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
To clarify, I've lost me and miss me some Grammas.
To clarify, I've lost me and miss me some Grammas.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I still have all my gramma rays. One is in my house with me right now!
I still have all my gramma rays. One is in my house with me right now!
ph3r
+0 -0
Gramma ray - the Asian?
(no you cannot land on the moon because the grammas would not approve)
Gramma ray - the Asian?
(no you cannot land on the moon because the grammas would not approve)
thegoblins
+0 -0
I don't catch your meaning, sir!
I don't catch your meaning, sir!
ph3r
+0 -0
Say it quickly, a few times.
Say it quickly, a few times.
thegoblins
+0 -0
oh HA HA HA!
oh HA HA HA!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
But Ray doesn't really sound like an asian na- oh HA HA HA!
But Ray doesn't really sound like an asian na- oh HA HA HA!
catgrl131
+0 -0
Stop... Grammatime.
Stop... Grammatime.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Catfood, bottled water,
snacks & gatorade-
that's what makes
America great.
bshhhwpppp
Catfood, bottled water,
snacks & gatorade-
that's what makes
America great.
bshhhwpppp
philophobe
+0 -0
"Thirst scalability"?
A crack, a palpable crack in your linguistic edifice.
"Thirst scalability"?
A crack, a palpable crack in your linguistic edifice.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's charming, glad. I don't know why I get a N.Y. vibe from you, but the tap water used to be incredible, all running 100 miles down aqueducts from the mountains upstate.
$ ProTip: Get your gatorade in powder form little barrels- cost half as much.
That's charming, glad. I don't know why I get a N.Y. vibe from you, but the tap water used to be incredible, all running 100 miles down aqueducts from the mountains upstate.
$ ProTip: Get your gatorade in powder form little barrels- cost half as much.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Long Island: chlorine and fluoride
Albany: shit-sludge
City: :)
Long Island: chlorine and fluoride
Albany: shit-sludge
City: :)
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
It is the county's largest unfiltered surface water supply.
I've been in the tunnels -- they're really as big as depicted in that Die Hard movie.
It is the county's largest unfiltered surface water supply.
I've been in the tunnels -- they're really as big as depicted in that Die Hard movie.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I remember the first time I innocently poured myself a glass of Long Island water straight from the tap. Horrifying.
I remember the first time I innocently poured myself a glass of Long Island water straight from the tap. Horrifying.
doppelganger
+0 -0
It varies by area. LI water comes from an aquifer fed by glacial water. This source is beyond reproach. The delivery system (pipes) may taint it or you are drawing from a small well that was not drilled deep enough.
Same with NYC water -- its the pipes that taint it (also the bodies found in the central park reservoir).
It varies by area. LI water comes from an aquifer fed by glacial water. This source is beyond reproach. The delivery system (pipes) may taint it or you are drawing from a small well that was not drilled deep enough.
Same with NYC water -- its the pipes that taint it (also the bodies found in the central park reservoir).
nice-on-water
+0 -0
We're not in well-water country. THAT shit is crazy bad. It tastes quite chemically enhanced, and not for the better, based on my city water experience.
I almost typed chemically enchanted.
We're not in well-water country. THAT shit is crazy bad. It tastes quite chemically enhanced, and not for the better, based on my city water experience.
I almost typed chemically enchanted.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I used to pretend that Organic Chemistry lab was Potions class.
I used to pretend that Organic Chemistry lab was Potions class.
doppelganger
+0 -0
You look like a cute version of my organic chem lab partner. I thought that she would be smart (you know, 'cause she was Asian). Turned out that I had to do all the intellectual heavy lifting. (In other words; neither of us did that well).
You look like a cute version of my organic chem lab partner. I thought that she would be smart (you know, 'cause she was Asian). Turned out that I had to do all the intellectual heavy lifting. (In other words; neither of us did that well).
tekende
+1 -0
You implication that just because she Asian she intellectual very racist and bad.
You implication that just because she Asian she intellectual very racist and bad.
doppelganger
+0 -0
And I thought she be into bukkake.
Well one outta 3 ain't bad.
And I thought she be into bukkake.
Well one outta 3 ain't bad.
ph3r
+0 -0
The chemistry program I got put through had the largest concentration of unintelligent Asians per capita I've ever seen anywhere. There were 9 of us in the graduating class, and of the two other Asians, one asked me what electronegativity was senior year, and the other tried to condense oil by "evaporating some of the liquid off".
The first graduated cum laude.
The chemistry program I got put through had the largest concentration of unintelligent Asians per capita I've ever seen anywhere. There were 9 of us in the graduating class, and of the two other Asians, one asked me what electronegativity was senior year, and the other tried to condense oil by "evaporating some of the liquid off".
The first graduated cum laude.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
that story made me cum load
that story made me cum load
tekende
+0 -0
Oh, That Gladi! is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Oh, That Gladi! is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Then this seems appropriate:
Ha! Ha ha! Ha! Ha ha!
Then this seems appropriate:
Ha! Ha ha! Ha! Ha ha!
choco
+0 -0
that's a complete fucking rip off, watching other people laugh but not being let in on the joke
that's a complete fucking rip off, watching other people laugh but not being let in on the joke
wolfensti
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+0 -0
Do people like me count as Asian, though?
First generation kids are definitely smart. Second generation is a mixed bag.
Do people like me count as Asian, though?
First generation kids are definitely smart. Second generation is a mixed bag.
ph3r
+0 -0
You're an Arab .
I don't know, I'd count you probably...
You're an Arab .
I don't know, I'd count you probably...
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm so not an Arab.
I'm so not an Arab.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
yes you count as asian. i cannit believe i kmnow this an' u donnit
yes you count as asian. i cannit believe i kmnow this an' u donnit
choco
+0 -0
yeah well technically Indians might be asian but obviously they are different from Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese/etc. The latter are all more similar to each other than Indians are to them. I dunno, I suppose there's a variety of Indian genres too, right. I mean. Mercury was Indian, and he didn't look too Indian. But anyway, I'll say this. Indian has one of the most fucked up cultures anywhere. The only way it could seem less fucked up is if Indian had tons of money. Then it would be the U.S.
yeah well technically Indians might be asian but obviously they are different from Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese/etc. The latter are all more similar to each other than Indians are to them. I dunno, I suppose there's a variety of Indian genres too, right. I mean. Mercury was Indian, and he didn't look too Indian. But anyway, I'll say this. Indian has one of the most fucked up cultures anywhere. The only way it could seem less fucked up is if Indian had tons of money. Then it would be the U.S.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The old classification was that those of the Indian subcontinent were Caucasoid and those Japanese/Korean etc were Mongoloid. Of course the latter is now an insult, but I think today when we said "Asian," we mean that Far Eastern race, and not usually Indian/ Pakistani etc., which I hear they call Asian in the UK. Middle Eastern, Persian, Indian, etc are all still classified as Caucasian, I'm pretty sure. I don't think this helps the discussion any though.
The old classification was that those of the Indian subcontinent were Caucasoid and those Japanese/Korean etc were Mongoloid. Of course the latter is now an insult, but I think today when we said "Asian," we mean that Far Eastern race, and not usually Indian/ Pakistani etc., which I hear they call Asian in the UK. Middle Eastern, Persian, Indian, etc are all still classified as Caucasian, I'm pretty sure. I don't think this helps the discussion any though.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Caucasoids (Europeans, Arabs, Persians, Russians, Japanese natives, etc.), Negroids (black Africans), Mongoloids ("Asians", Pacific islanders, etc.)
Pygmies, special little guys that they are, get their own classification: Pygmoids.
Caucasoids (Europeans, Arabs, Persians, Russians, Japanese natives, etc.), Negroids (black Africans), Mongoloids ("Asians", Pacific islanders, etc.)
Pygmies, special little guys that they are, get their own classification: Pygmoids.
ph3r
+0 -0
Sweet, I'm a mongoloid!
Sweet, I'm a mongoloid!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
::disapproving racist glares::
Wouldn't it be interesting if everyone on Assetbar knew what the other users' races were? I think it would change certain things, even assuming 99% of us aren't racist. It would just change the tone of certain conversations I bet. Neat!
::disapproving racist glares::
Wouldn't it be interesting if everyone on Assetbar knew what the other users' races were? I think it would change certain things, even assuming 99% of us aren't racist. It would just change the tone of certain conversations I bet. Neat!
choco
+0 -0
it n would i certainly g open g up e a r lot f of a different g trolling g opportunities o ! t
it n would i certainly g open g up e a r lot f of a different g trolling g opportunities o ! t
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And none too subtly, at that. Cracker.
And none too subtly, at that. Cracker.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ah. What exactly is meant by Japanese natives, because aren't most Japanese descended from those that came over from the mainland? And isn't there a less than Japanese looking indigenous people living there, being oppressed like every other minority in Japan?
Ah. What exactly is meant by Japanese natives, because aren't most Japanese descended from those that came over from the mainland? And isn't there a less than Japanese looking indigenous people living there, being oppressed like every other minority in Japan?
wozzeck
+0 -0
These cats: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ainu_people
It's not actually that surprising to find Caucasoids so far east, seeing as how skulls dating back thousands of years, with Caucasoid features, have been found on the US East Coast.
Red-haired mummified remains of Caucasoids have also been found in a desert in China.
These cats: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ainu_people
It's not actually that surprising to find Caucasoids so far east, seeing as how skulls dating back thousands of years, with Caucasoid features, have been found on the US East Coast.
Red-haired mummified remains of Caucasoids have also been found in a desert in China.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ah that's right, I knew it had an Ai- in it. Learned about them in anthropology.
Ah that's right, I knew it had an Ai- in it. Learned about them in anthropology.
choco
+0 -0
WE ARE CAUCASADROIDS! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!
WE ARE CAUCASADROIDS! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!
wozzeck
+0 -0
Contrary to what NPR may hav etold you, the United states does not have a caste system, worship a river, or consider it acceptable to bathe in the urine of cattle.
Well, not outside of California.
Contrary to what NPR may hav etold you, the United states does not have a caste system, worship a river, or consider it acceptable to bathe in the urine of cattle.
Well, not outside of California.
thegoblins
+1 -0
A lot of Indians don't, either. You're beginning to border on the type of talk that would kinda offend me in middle school, bub!
A lot of Indians don't, either. You're beginning to border on the type of talk that would kinda offend me in middle school, bub!
thegoblins
+0 -0
I might just have to reprimand you gently, preserving a seemly maidenish modesty in the process!
I might just have to reprimand you gently, preserving a seemly maidenish modesty in the process!
choco
+0 -1
I was just perhaps obliquely referencing this idea that occurred to me that Indian culture is pretty ridiculous and prejudiced and ignorant in a lot of respects, no more so or less so than the U.S. I just notice it more in Indian culture because when you're around a particular incarnation of something, you stop noticing it as much, kinda how you can get used to a bad smell.
Wozzeck's indicates that he's caught up hook line and sinker in the ignorant extremist ignorant (did I mention ignorant) rhetoric of local U.S. politics. Don't get me wrong, NPR (and California too, for that matter,) is pretty shitty in some respects, but probably not in any of the ways in which wozzeck thinks it is.
I was just perhaps obliquely referencing this idea that occurred to me that Indian culture is pretty ridiculous and prejudiced and ignorant in a lot of respects, no more so or less so than the U.S. I just notice it more in Indian culture because when you're around a particular incarnation of something, you stop noticing it as much, kinda how you can get used to a bad smell.
Wozzeck's indicates that he's caught up hook line and sinker in the ignorant extremist ignorant (did I mention ignorant) rhetoric of local U.S. politics. Don't get me wrong, NPR (and California too, for that matter,) is pretty shitty in some respects, but probably not in any of the ways in which wozzeck thinks it is.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Has it ever occurred to you that you are perhaps a pretty ridiculous and prejudiced and ignorant person in a lot of respects?
Has it ever occurred to you that you are perhaps a pretty ridiculous and prejudiced and ignorant person in a lot of respects?
choco
+0 -0
I'm sure that I am. Nevertheless, my thinking in particular (and left-leaning thinking in general) does tend to be more rooted in objectivity and scientific reasoning than that mindset which is generally leaning towards the 'right' end of the political spectrum. Sure there is leftist dogma just as there is rightist dogma. The folks on the right just have more dogma, that's it. I mean for fucks sake, Palin... Palin.... Have you been paying attention? She has the education level of an 8th grader, a D minus 8th grader. This is what a core block of right-leaning individuals chose as a representative. I'm not saying your political views coincide with the right-leaning end of the spectrum, I'm just extrapolating that your thinking may be at least somewhat rooted in dogma because your above comment condemning CA and NPR was an example of classic rightist dogma. I'm sorry, but if you're prejudiced against CA or NPR, it's very very difficult to conclude anything other than that your thinking is right of center. In my mind, right of center means your thinking is steeped in dogma. Stupid unthinking dogma. The world is a complex place, and dogma is simple. When the model with which you understand a system does not allow for as much variety as exists in the system, you're in trouble because your model will not give you an accurate understanding of the system.
I'm sure that I am. Nevertheless, my thinking in particular (and left-leaning thinking in general) does tend to be more rooted in objectivity and scientific reasoning than that mindset which is generally leaning towards the 'right' end of the political spectrum. Sure there is leftist dogma just as there is rightist dogma. The folks on the right just have more dogma, that's it. I mean for fucks sake, Palin... Palin.... Have you been paying attention? She has the education level of an 8th grader, a D minus 8th grader. This is what a core block of right-leaning individuals chose as a representative. I'm not saying your political views coincide with the right-leaning end of the spectrum, I'm just extrapolating that your thinking may be at least somewhat rooted in dogma because your above comment condemning CA and NPR was an example of classic rightist dogma. I'm sorry, but if you're prejudiced against CA or NPR, it's very very difficult to conclude anything other than that your thinking is right of center. In my mind, right of center means your thinking is steeped in dogma. Stupid unthinking dogma. The world is a complex place, and dogma is simple. When the model with which you understand a system does not allow for as much variety as exists in the system, you're in trouble because your model will not give you an accurate understanding of the system.
belgand
+0 -0
Indeed. I only bathe in fresh, local, sustainable, organic, grass-fed cow urine that has met with the approval of Alice Waters. Not like those assholes to the south who think that's it's acceptable to use imported, bottled cow urine.
Indeed. I only bathe in fresh, local, sustainable, organic, grass-fed cow urine that has met with the approval of Alice Waters. Not like those assholes to the south who think that's it's acceptable to use imported, bottled cow urine.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I wanna take you out behind the middle school and get you offended!
I wanna take you out behind the middle school and get you offended!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Man, I got secretly felt up all the time. The people responsible didn't think I knew who they were. I don't know why I never told on them.
Middle school was a very offensive time!
Man, I got secretly felt up all the time. The people responsible didn't think I knew who they were. I don't know why I never told on them.
Middle school was a very offensive time!
edd36
+0 -0
Seems I was at the wrong middle school.
Seems I was at the wrong middle school.
edd36
+0 -0
And high school for that matter.
And high school for that matter.
stonecrab
+0 -0
I am so sorry to hear this! You probably didn't tell because you thought worse things would happen after they got in trouble...
I am so sorry to hear this! You probably didn't tell because you thought worse things would happen after they got in trouble...
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's a possibility. I didn't want to start any more trouble with them.
It's a possibility. I didn't want to start any more trouble with them.
ph3r
+0 -1
Neither's Barack Obama.
(he's a kenya-indonesian)
Neither's Barack Obama.
(he's a kenya-indonesian)
aperson
+0 -0
...oid?
...oid?
smilebuddha
+4 -0
Take it easy, everyone: these are not the -oids you are looking for.
Take it easy, everyone: these are not the -oids you are looking for.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Mother FUCK I can't chubby anymore. Take this imitation chubby. It has all the nutrients of a real chubby with less fat, and at a third of the price.
Mother FUCK I can't chubby anymore. Take this imitation chubby. It has all the nutrients of a real chubby with less fat, and at a third of the price.
ph3r
+0 -0
Hey, my first lame ever! Figures that it would be on what would seem to be the most blatantly sarcastic comment ever
Hey, my first lame ever! Figures that it would be on what would seem to be the most blatantly sarcastic comment ever
edd36
+0 -0
Second generation eh? Well in that case you can claim to be either Asian or American/British/French (whatever you are) at will. Make the most of both, you don't get bonus points for just sticking rigidly to one. I mean I pull out my mediterranean heritage out when it suits me, and I'm only 1/4 that way, look nothing like it, and can't speak one word of the language (mostly I do it for laughs admittedly).
Second generation eh? Well in that case you can claim to be either Asian or American/British/French (whatever you are) at will. Make the most of both, you don't get bonus points for just sticking rigidly to one. I mean I pull out my mediterranean heritage out when it suits me, and I'm only 1/4 that way, look nothing like it, and can't speak one word of the language (mostly I do it for laughs admittedly).
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
does teh powder stir away completely. i ask cuz i dun lik 2 chew ma drinks but i DO use nestle chocolate milk powder but this powdeur stirs eway completely.
so, does teh gatorade powder do similar? if not, den i cannit sacrifice taste-comfort
does teh powder stir away completely. i ask cuz i dun lik 2 chew ma drinks but i DO use nestle chocolate milk powder but this powdeur stirs eway completely.
so, does teh gatorade powder do similar? if not, den i cannit sacrifice taste-comfort
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Try it and see. It depends on your water's existing mineral content mostly, I would think, and also water temperature.
My water is very clean of minerals, as I have a whole house filter, so it will dissolve even in cold water. Also, you can mix to your own specs.
If your tap water is too wretched, you're back to square 1 using bottled water.
Try it and see. It depends on your water's existing mineral content mostly, I would think, and also water temperature.
My water is very clean of minerals, as I have a whole house filter, so it will dissolve even in cold water. Also, you can mix to your own specs.
If your tap water is too wretched, you're back to square 1 using bottled water.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
You may want to move to the north-east. (Cold) Water is actually free here. Only in New England does the aquifer-replenishment-to-populace ratio work. Anyone else who lives in any other part of the United States will eventually experience the Disapproval of Nature.
You may want to move to the north-east. (Cold) Water is actually free here. Only in New England does the aquifer-replenishment-to-populace ratio work. Anyone else who lives in any other part of the United States will eventually experience the Disapproval of Nature.
narenial
+0 -0
Where are you from Srikamaraja?
Where are you from Srikamaraja?
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Connecticut. Where all accents cancel each other out.
Connecticut. Where all accents cancel each other out.
narenial
+0 -0
Rhode Island here. And you think YOURS are bad!
Rhode Island here. And you think YOURS are bad!
avatar
+0 -0
A comment left by avatar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, HamScout, muillium)
A comment left by avatar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, HamScout, muillium)
hexjumper
+0 -0
It's that asshole Cartilage Head again!
It's that asshole Cartilage Head again!
plummet
+0 -0
Now there has to be a picture of Cartilage Head hastily photoshopped so that one of his cards read 'HEY KID, I'M AN ASSHOLE. YOUR PARENTS AROUND?'
Now there has to be a picture of Cartilage Head hastily photoshopped so that one of his cards read 'HEY KID, I'M AN ASSHOLE. YOUR PARENTS AROUND?'
xi
+0 -0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHYYYY??
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHYYYY??
ishuta
+0 -0
Bet Cartilage Head out-sapphics the lot of them.
Roast Beef dies because the prose has made him incapable of loving a heterosexual woman.
Bet Cartilage Head out-sapphics the lot of them.
Roast Beef dies because the prose has made him incapable of loving a heterosexual woman.
ishuta
+0 -0
In heaven he will discover the true meaning of Lesbian.
In heaven he will discover the true meaning of Lesbian.
ishuta
+0 -1
Just kidding. Lesbians and their ilk burn in Hell.
Just kidding. Lesbians and their ilk burn in Hell.
bungdeetle
+0 -0
A comment left by bungdeetle was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sonofkong, judasburrito, Stonecrab, mikeyk)
A comment left by bungdeetle was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sonofkong, judasburrito, Stonecrab, mikeyk)
aperson
+1 -0
Teodor will wake up and it's all a dream.
Teodor will wake up and it's all a dream.
choco
+2 -0
I disagree, Mr. Bundgeetle. Achewood hasn't been all that wacky in recent memory. It's been a little flat. If it has been wacky, it's been a different style of wacky than it was originally. If by 'wacky,' you mean that it's been flat lately, then yes, it has been, but if that's what you mean, then 'wacky' is not an appropriate adjective. It's been at times 'wacky' in a flat way recently. It's definitely evolved. For better or for worse, it's evolved. It will never be what it was originally, but if you want constant unchanging stability, then you want Cathy, or Blondie, or Archie, or Dilbert. Don't get me wrong, these examples all have had their moments, especially in the context of their intended audiences, such as these audiences are. But, perhaps like their core audiences, these examples (Cathy, Family Circus, Marmaduke, etc) have been, for the most part, pedantic and repetitive and have never really even attempted to push any kind of artistic or expressive envelope, or if they did attempt to do so, then arguably their authors just didn't have much imagination or experience or even artistic literacy.
Can we look back at Achewood and find a 'golden age' when seemingly every single strip made our hearts leap with joy? Sure! Can we trace that era of the strip to some innocence arisen from Onstad's being a novice at the whole gig? Quite possibly. Then again, if we examine you, personally, or any one of us, we can probably trace back our development to a time when we were a whole lot more cute, and a whole lot more interesting and creative. That's how people develop. It's not how cartoons normally develop, but Achewood is not a normal cartoon.
The only strips that compare to Achewood that I personally know of (which may not be saying much) are Peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes. These strips also captured a certain innocence and did so brilliantly, although, they were daily strips, so inevitably, there was a lot of what I would call neutral fluff mixed in. These strips were different, however. These strips took a different approach. They had to - they were dailies. Achewood is different. Achewood explores stuff differently, and explores more stuff. Achewood is a far more expansive survey of the Cartoonist's imagination, not in a better way, just in a different way. If Peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes were the best that traditional cartooning had to offer, then Achewood is a nouveau cartooning. Achewood is Gonzo cartooning in every sense of the word. Achewood redefines the boundaries between the Cartoonist and his work, and indeed, between the audience and the work.
Without even intending to be, Achewood is not overtly political, indeed is far from being apolitical, and I'm not talking about the fact that the cats smoke weed. Weed smoking is a cliche anymore and is only superficially taboo. Weed is a large industry in the U.S. that is looked down upon by what passes for polite society (those who hold the political and social power) not unlike alcohol was once considered 'dirty.' Smoking weed doesn't make a thing controversial anymore, it merely disenfranchises you, sort of like if you marry a porn star. You might lose your job, you might even go to jail, but you can still hold your head up high and say you didn't do anything wrong, and a huge percentage of society will agree with you.
Achewood features all that is deeply taboo for us on a societal and personal level. Achewood is just a character exploration of regular guys being their regular selves, and somehow, that is taboo these days. It just isn't done. How is this political? Well, when you look at other popular web cartoons, when you look at virtually all popular television, and maybe even when you look in the mirror, you see a strict and formulaic adherence to a god-damned script. What passes for controversy anymore is actually scripted, and not even elaborately so. Remember back in the 80's when TV sitcoms would feature crude stereotypes of racial minorities and crude stereotypes of non-middle class lifestyles? Remember Tony Danza and Garry Coleman and that very special episode of Family Ties when a black family moves into the house across the street and the neighborhood tries to run them out of town? Puuuleeze. How simplistic can you get. But that's TV. Always has been and always will be. And so there has always been this void in centrally controlled mass media and this void was filled by people who were slightly creative, like Michael Jackson, whose various moments of genius could be bottled up, copied, and sold enmasse. And this void was filled by rappers... remember the scary, very scary, 2 live crew?
2 live crew was controversial once upon a time, but now they look like a bunch of girl scouts. American mass media is nothing but a big system which distributes cliche and stereotype. It wasn't 2 live crew it's self which scared America so much, it was the idea of 2 live crew, and the ideas that these guys, these black guys, evoked. 2 live crew were mere icons. You click on the icon, and it makes a scary sound, maybe makes a shiver run down your spine. Well, as more and more icons became played out, the industry just kept generating more and more crap. Now you've got fucking lesbians on prime time TV (and yes, they even fuck sometimes, just not in front of the cameras... not yet, anyway...) and it's still not enough for us. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against lesbians fucking on TV as long as it fits in the script, as long as it serves some purpose to tell a story, but not for the sake of simply having fucking lesbians for the sake of simply being 'edgy.'
TV, mass media in general, is just a jumble of abstract stereotypes. Is there any character development anymore? Do you ever get to connect with a character anymore? What greater threat is there to this mass media empire than the prospect of individuals with an imagination and an IQ above 80 and brain waves that haven't been lulled into a holding pattern by using TV as a drug? What greater threat is there to the powers that be in our social and political systems than people who might be real? This is how Achewood is political. Achewood is as real as any cartoon has ever been or ever will be. Achewood is Gonzo cartooning. Roast Beef 'n Ray are all like "don't buy our fucking action figures bitch we don't give a fuck! "
I disagree, Mr. Bundgeetle. Achewood hasn't been all that wacky in recent memory. It's been a little flat. If it has been wacky, it's been a different style of wacky than it was originally. If by 'wacky,' you mean that it's been flat lately, then yes, it has been, but if that's what you mean, then 'wacky' is not an appropriate adjective. It's been at times 'wacky' in a flat way recently. It's definitely evolved. For better or for worse, it's evolved. It will never be what it was originally, but if you want constant unchanging stability, then you want Cathy, or Blondie, or Archie, or Dilbert. Don't get me wrong, these examples all have had their moments, especially in the context of their intended audiences, such as these audiences are. But, perhaps like their core audiences, these examples (Cathy, Family Circus, Marmaduke, etc) have been, for the most part, pedantic and repetitive and have never really even attempted to push any kind of artistic or expressive envelope, or if they did attempt to do so, then arguably their authors just didn't have much imagination or experience or even artistic literacy.
Can we look back at Achewood and find a 'golden age' when seemingly every single strip made our hearts leap with joy? Sure! Can we trace that era of the strip to some innocence arisen from Onstad's being a novice at the whole gig? Quite possibly. Then again, if we examine you, personally, or any one of us, we can probably trace back our development to a time when we were a whole lot more cute, and a whole lot more interesting and creative. That's how people develop. It's not how cartoons normally develop, but Achewood is not a normal cartoon.
The only strips that compare to Achewood that I personally know of (which may not be saying much) are Peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes. These strips also captured a certain innocence and did so brilliantly, although, they were daily strips, so inevitably, there was a lot of what I would call neutral fluff mixed in. These strips were different, however. These strips took a different approach. They had to - they were dailies. Achewood is different. Achewood explores stuff differently, and explores more stuff. Achewood is a far more expansive survey of the Cartoonist's imagination, not in a better way, just in a different way. If Peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes were the best that traditional cartooning had to offer, then Achewood is a nouveau cartooning. Achewood is Gonzo cartooning in every sense of the word. Achewood redefines the boundaries between the Cartoonist and his work, and indeed, between the audience and the work.
Without even intending to be, Achewood is not overtly political, indeed is far from being apolitical, and I'm not talking about the fact that the cats smoke weed. Weed smoking is a cliche anymore and is only superficially taboo. Weed is a large industry in the U.S. that is looked down upon by what passes for polite society (those who hold the political and social power) not unlike alcohol was once considered 'dirty.' Smoking weed doesn't make a thing controversial anymore, it merely disenfranchises you, sort of like if you marry a porn star. You might lose your job, you might even go to jail, but you can still hold your head up high and say you didn't do anything wrong, and a huge percentage of society will agree with you.
Achewood features all that is deeply taboo for us on a societal and personal level. Achewood is just a character exploration of regular guys being their regular selves, and somehow, that is taboo these days. It just isn't done. How is this political? Well, when you look at other popular web cartoons, when you look at virtually all popular television, and maybe even when you look in the mirror, you see a strict and formulaic adherence to a god-damned script. What passes for controversy anymore is actually scripted, and not even elaborately so. Remember back in the 80's when TV sitcoms would feature crude stereotypes of racial minorities and crude stereotypes of non-middle class lifestyles? Remember Tony Danza and Garry Coleman and that very special episode of Family Ties when a black family moves into the house across the street and the neighborhood tries to run them out of town? Puuuleeze. How simplistic can you get. But that's TV. Always has been and always will be. And so there has always been this void in centrally controlled mass media and this void was filled by people who were slightly creative, like Michael Jackson, whose various moments of genius could be bottled up, copied, and sold enmasse. And this void was filled by rappers... remember the scary, very scary, 2 live crew?
2 live crew was controversial once upon a time, but now they look like a bunch of girl scouts. American mass media is nothing but a big system which distributes cliche and stereotype. It wasn't 2 live crew it's self which scared America so much, it was the idea of 2 live crew, and the ideas that these guys, these black guys, evoked. 2 live crew were mere icons. You click on the icon, and it makes a scary sound, maybe makes a shiver run down your spine. Well, as more and more icons became played out, the industry just kept generating more and more crap. Now you've got fucking lesbians on prime time TV (and yes, they even fuck sometimes, just not in front of the cameras... not yet, anyway...) and it's still not enough for us. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against lesbians fucking on TV as long as it fits in the script, as long as it serves some purpose to tell a story, but not for the sake of simply having fucking lesbians for the sake of simply being 'edgy.'
TV, mass media in general, is just a jumble of abstract stereotypes. Is there any character development anymore? Do you ever get to connect with a character anymore? What greater threat is there to this mass media empire than the prospect of individuals with an imagination and an IQ above 80 and brain waves that haven't been lulled into a holding pattern by using TV as a drug? What greater threat is there to the powers that be in our social and political systems than people who might be real? This is how Achewood is political. Achewood is as real as any cartoon has ever been or ever will be. Achewood is Gonzo cartooning. Roast Beef 'n Ray are all like "don't buy our fucking action figures bitch we don't give a fuck! "
johnmatrix
+0 -0
This'll probably annoy some people, but maybe you guys can explain it to me. Why is Peanuts so popular? It ran in my paper for several years, and I rarely found it funny. What am I missing? What made it unique?
This'll probably annoy some people, but maybe you guys can explain it to me. Why is Peanuts so popular? It ran in my paper for several years, and I rarely found it funny. What am I missing? What made it unique?
forehead
+0 -0
You have to remember that Schulz basically invented most of the things that are worthwhile in newspaper comics. Way more than you think. All the shit that's good about Calvin and Hobbes? Yeah, most of that came from Peanuts. It doesn't seem like such hot stuff anymore because of all the comics since has copied everything good about it, making those ideas seem bland and uninspired. That happens to a lot fo great works, there's probably a name for it. I don't know if Peanuts was ever hugely funny, but it was humourous and it was intelligent and it was incisive, and it was the best god damn thing that ever happened to the funny pages.
You have to remember that Schulz basically invented most of the things that are worthwhile in newspaper comics. Way more than you think. All the shit that's good about Calvin and Hobbes? Yeah, most of that came from Peanuts. It doesn't seem like such hot stuff anymore because of all the comics since has copied everything good about it, making those ideas seem bland and uninspired. That happens to a lot fo great works, there's probably a name for it. I don't know if Peanuts was ever hugely funny, but it was humourous and it was intelligent and it was incisive, and it was the best god damn thing that ever happened to the funny pages.
belgand
+0 -0
I'd say Calvin and Hobbes owes even more to Little Nemo which is still legitimately awesome, unlike the bland and dull Peanuts.
I'm told it was once great, but I have never had any desire to find out. I'd rather spend a few hours poring over a robot's ass.
I'd say Calvin and Hobbes owes even more to Little Nemo which is still legitimately awesome, unlike the bland and dull Peanuts.
I'm told it was once great, but I have never had any desire to find out. I'd rather spend a few hours poring over a robot's ass.
doppelganger
+0 -0
There might be something behind Watterson's reverence for Peanuts though. The simple graphic presentation, with stories told from a child's perspective, seems to be an antecedent of C&H.
Wattersons' reverence is ironic relative to his anti-commercial stance (and Shulz's invention thereof).
There might be something behind Watterson's reverence for Peanuts though. The simple graphic presentation, with stories told from a child's perspective, seems to be an antecedent of C&H.
Wattersons' reverence is ironic relative to his anti-commercial stance (and Shulz's invention thereof).
elzilcho
+0 -0
If y'all ever get the chance, "Schulz and Peanuts" is a pretty cool biography, one which finally made Peanuts interesting to me.
Even if you don't read the long-ass book, take this away from my post: The dude put himself in his comics. Comics about camp represent his time in the military. There WAS a little red-haired girl. Things like that. He poured his heart and soul into Peanuts, then gave it a fresh coat of pleasantries to endear the public.
That's the big thing that changed MY mind, anyway. You think it's just some dude with a poor imagination ("...and I'll add a dog, 'cause people like dogs!"), but he really wrote a poignant, long-form autobiography. And once you see the connection, you see how human the world of Peanuts really is... and THAT'S what made it so big in the first place.
If y'all ever get the chance, "Schulz and Peanuts" is a pretty cool biography, one which finally made Peanuts interesting to me.
Even if you don't read the long-ass book, take this away from my post: The dude put himself in his comics. Comics about camp represent his time in the military. There WAS a little red-haired girl. Things like that. He poured his heart and soul into Peanuts, then gave it a fresh coat of pleasantries to endear the public.
That's the big thing that changed MY mind, anyway. You think it's just some dude with a poor imagination ("...and I'll add a dog, 'cause people like dogs!"), but he really wrote a poignant, long-form autobiography. And once you see the connection, you see how human the world of Peanuts really is... and THAT'S what made it so big in the first place.
choco
+0 -0
maybe if there had been at least one lesbian in Peanuts I would have connected with it more.
maybe if there had been at least one lesbian in Peanuts I would have connected with it more.
tekende
+0 -0
It is a common belief that there were two lesbians in Peanuts.
It is a common belief that there were two lesbians in Peanuts.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Hello? Marcie? Peppermint Patty? Do I have to spell it out for you?
[IMGS OFF]
Hello? Marcie? Peppermint Patty? Do I have to spell it out for you?
[IMGS OFF]
mattylite
+0 -0
Firstly: try Peanuts again. Here are some things, off the top of my head, that I love about Peanuts: old ones do a lot of strips with very little dialog that still work, the whole thing is permeated with this kind of stoic, sad worldview, old Snoopy had some of the best simply drawn but effective facial expressions of any comic ever, the strip tackled moral issues without ever really being moral or moralistic, and it had musical notation a lot of times for which I am a sucker.
Second, ROBOT ASS!!!!
Firstly: try Peanuts again. Here are some things, off the top of my head, that I love about Peanuts: old ones do a lot of strips with very little dialog that still work, the whole thing is permeated with this kind of stoic, sad worldview, old Snoopy had some of the best simply drawn but effective facial expressions of any comic ever, the strip tackled moral issues without ever really being moral or moralistic, and it had musical notation a lot of times for which I am a sucker.
Second, ROBOT ASS!!!!
choco
+0 -0
yeah I'll agree that Peanuts is not going to be funny to a lot of people up front, in fact it can be damned annoying. But if you read one strip a day for a while, it starts to grow on you. If you did read it and never got it, then maybe there's just something wrong with your brain, a tumor or something. You should get that looked at. I think maybe people go into Peanuts not realizing just how subtle it really is as a strip. You kinda have to do a mental reset. The strip operated in somewhat tight boundaries of form and content. Once you 'get' that Shultz is operating from within these boundaries, you then start to perceive just how clever and subtle and nuanced it is, and sardonic too. I never really got much out of Peanuts reading it in the paper as a kid or teenager. It wasn't until later when I started reading it online that it clicked for me. Even watching the animated specials, you can kinda take it all for granted even while liking it at the same time.
yeah I'll agree that Peanuts is not going to be funny to a lot of people up front, in fact it can be damned annoying. But if you read one strip a day for a while, it starts to grow on you. If you did read it and never got it, then maybe there's just something wrong with your brain, a tumor or something. You should get that looked at. I think maybe people go into Peanuts not realizing just how subtle it really is as a strip. You kinda have to do a mental reset. The strip operated in somewhat tight boundaries of form and content. Once you 'get' that Shultz is operating from within these boundaries, you then start to perceive just how clever and subtle and nuanced it is, and sardonic too. I never really got much out of Peanuts reading it in the paper as a kid or teenager. It wasn't until later when I started reading it online that it clicked for me. Even watching the animated specials, you can kinda take it all for granted even while liking it at the same time.
camrock
+0 -0
Schulz is like Ozu.
Schulz is like Ozu.
rowboat
+1 -0
johnmatrix, there are a lot of constructive replies to your comment here, and that's cool. But I'm gonna just kinda round it out here with the asshole's perspective:
If you have to ask what made Peanuts great, you'll never know.
I have a feeling that in ten years kids will be questioning the relevance of The Simpsons and The Far Side, too, and I will dismiss them in the same manner.
I mean, you at least realize that there would be no Achewood had Charles Schulz not blazed that trail first, right? Tell me you understand that comics as we know them would be unrecognizable and considerably lamer without the prior existence of Peanuts and I won't make you go to bed without your supper.
johnmatrix, there are a lot of constructive replies to your comment here, and that's cool. But I'm gonna just kinda round it out here with the asshole's perspective:
If you have to ask what made Peanuts great, you'll never know.
I have a feeling that in ten years kids will be questioning the relevance of The Simpsons and The Far Side, too, and I will dismiss them in the same manner.
I mean, you at least realize that there would be no Achewood had Charles Schulz not blazed that trail first, right? Tell me you understand that comics as we know them would be unrecognizable and considerably lamer without the prior existence of Peanuts and I won't make you go to bed without your supper.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
I don't know exactly what comics were like before Peanuts, and that's not really relevant to me. The question isn't whether it did influence comics, the question was why it's so highly regarded.
I don't know exactly what comics were like before Peanuts, and that's not really relevant to me. The question isn't whether it did influence comics, the question was why it's so highly regarded.
rowboat
+0 -0
First, I don't think anyone said anything about what comics were like before Peanuts.
Second, the question is "whether it did influence comics," as that is exactly why it is so highly regarded. If you like any comic strip that came after Peanuts, you have no intelligent choice but to at least tip your hat to Schulz.
I'm sorry to be stern. It's for your own good.
First, I don't think anyone said anything about what comics were like before Peanuts.
Second, the question is "whether it did influence comics," as that is exactly why it is so highly regarded. If you like any comic strip that came after Peanuts, you have no intelligent choice but to at least tip your hat to Schulz.
I'm sorry to be stern. It's for your own good.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Jesus, somebody had better not nail this tract to a cathedral door, all kinds of trouble would go down...
Jesus, somebody had better not nail this tract to a cathedral door, all kinds of trouble would go down...
deusoma
+0 -0
This was a 3 that became a four in the last panel.
This was a 3 that became a four in the last panel.
vermy
+0 -0
All cats. Typical
All cats. Typical
picklejar
+0 -0
It's been a long time since I've laughed out loud at achewood, but that prompter was perfect Ray. The alt text ALSO made me laugh out loud!
It's been a long time since I've laughed out loud at achewood, but that prompter was perfect Ray. The alt text ALSO made me laugh out loud!
drskradley
+0 -0
Once behind the facade of sunglasses and with the threat of imminent death, Beef gets all kinds of sack.
(Oh, and he's in an elephant costume as well.)
Once behind the facade of sunglasses and with the threat of imminent death, Beef gets all kinds of sack.
(Oh, and he's in an elephant costume as well.)
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
Cartilage Head is so fucking goth.
Cartilage Head is so fucking goth.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Given how anachronistic he is, I'd say more steampunk.
Given how anachronistic he is, I'd say more steampunk.
gehen_sie_weg
+0 -0
I find they go pretty well together. Like pickles and cheese. All mopin' dudes in a steam-powered clockwork robot.
I dunno.
I find they go pretty well together. Like pickles and cheese. All mopin' dudes in a steam-powered clockwork robot.
I dunno.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
All debutante in goggles obstinately refusin' to marry a sky pirate.
All debutante in goggles obstinately refusin' to marry a sky pirate.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
You got your Edward Gorey in my Around the World in 80 Days!!
You got your Edward Gorey in my Around the World in 80 Days!!
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Steampunk is just goth with brass clockworks glued to its goggles and tophat.
Steampunk is just goth with brass clockworks glued to its goggles and tophat.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
goth is just steampunk for people who've never heard of a spinning jenny.
goth is just steampunk for people who've never heard of a spinning jenny.
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
They're the same thing just depends on whether your leather is black or brown.
They're the same thing just depends on whether your leather is black or brown.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Anyone else feel like espressing a Dean Moriarty style "YES! YES! I DIG WHERE THIS IS GOING!" after seeing Cartilage Head in the last panel?
Anyone else feel like espressing a Dean Moriarty style "YES! YES! I DIG WHERE THIS IS GOING!" after seeing Cartilage Head in the last panel?
neonfreon
+0 -0
i gotta say i am pretty dang excited about this arc at this point
this is just grand
i gotta say i am pretty dang excited about this arc at this point
this is just grand
joeynarcotic
+1 -2
People are all acting like the canned audience when a recurring guest star shows up on an '80s sitcom.
[Ray answers door.]
"Hey look everyone, it's Cartilage Head!"
[applause]
People are all acting like the canned audience when a recurring guest star shows up on an '80s sitcom.
[Ray answers door.]
"Hey look everyone, it's Cartilage Head!"
[applause]
neonfreon
+0 -1
this is the first recurrence
why dont you shut up
this is the first recurrence
why dont you shut up
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
Make me.
Make me.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
nice_pete? We need your help and are honored whether you give it to us or not.
nice_pete? We need your help and are honored whether you give it to us or not.
neonfreon
+0 -0
you are currently the top ranked poster on assetbar
you are currently the top ranked poster on assetbar
choco
+0 -0
ranked? using what scale?
(you are currently in the top 10 of annoying avatars)
ranked? using what scale?
(you are currently in the top 10 of annoying avatars)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Kramer's entrance, season 3.
Also don't lie and say you're not excited for what lies ahead.
Kramer's entrance, season 3.
Also don't lie and say you're not excited for what lies ahead.
joeynarcotic
+1 -1
I was kinda hoping Cartilage Head would be a one-off.
Partly because of the sitcom "hey we're out of jokes, let's resurrect a one-off guest star for Pavlovian approval" thing.
Partly because I thought his one previous appearance was a great complete thing in and of itself.
Partly because of the way Ramses got less interesting the more often he appeared.
Partly because he creeps me the fuck out.
Partly because (specific to this incidence) Beef's rant is gold, and Cartilage Head's sudden reappearance takes the focus off that.
But mostly just to piss you off. Bitch.
I was kinda hoping Cartilage Head would be a one-off.
Partly because of the sitcom "hey we're out of jokes, let's resurrect a one-off guest star for Pavlovian approval" thing.
Partly because I thought his one previous appearance was a great complete thing in and of itself.
Partly because of the way Ramses got less interesting the more often he appeared.
Partly because he creeps me the fuck out.
Partly because (specific to this incidence) Beef's rant is gold, and Cartilage Head's sudden reappearance takes the focus off that.
But mostly just to piss you off. Bitch.
nice-on-water
+4 -0
Honestly this kind of sentiment to me is bullshit. "The character was SOO GOOD we can't have him SPOILED by him having his face shown again, goddamn it, because it's totally out of the artist's hands if this mysterious character is demystified." There's nothing cheap about bringing something popular back. That's how Ray and Beef went from two of the dirtiest dudes in town to the main characters. This isn't a Happening, where the spontaneity and uniqueness of each performance is totally dependent on you, the privileged elite patron, being there serendipitously. It's a webcomic based on characters and arcs. I'd actually like to see what Onstad can do with CH one more time. Ten times is overstaying his welcome. Twice is not. You won't know how this turns out till it's over, so just sit tight and enjoy it.
Bitch.
Honestly this kind of sentiment to me is bullshit. "The character was SOO GOOD we can't have him SPOILED by him having his face shown again, goddamn it, because it's totally out of the artist's hands if this mysterious character is demystified." There's nothing cheap about bringing something popular back. That's how Ray and Beef went from two of the dirtiest dudes in town to the main characters. This isn't a Happening, where the spontaneity and uniqueness of each performance is totally dependent on you, the privileged elite patron, being there serendipitously. It's a webcomic based on characters and arcs. I'd actually like to see what Onstad can do with CH one more time. Ten times is overstaying his welcome. Twice is not. You won't know how this turns out till it's over, so just sit tight and enjoy it.
Bitch.
choco
+0 -1
yeah cart head should be the new main character fuck roast boof and ray ray.
yeah cart head should be the new main character fuck roast boof and ray ray.
choco
+0 -1
onstad should have a scene where these kids kidnap roast boodf and ray ray and bury them up to their necks in the ground and run them over with lawnmovers.
onstad should have a scene where these kids kidnap roast boodf and ray ray and bury them up to their necks in the ground and run them over with lawnmovers.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
See my avatar.
See my avatar.
belgand
+1 -0
At the same time Onstad seems, as of late, to have misused and overused Mexican Magical Realism as well. And it only took one recurrence of the garage sale -- even if it did have some new and interesting observations -- to feel a bit old.
I think there are valid concerns here.
At the same time Onstad seems, as of late, to have misused and overused Mexican Magical Realism as well. And it only took one recurrence of the garage sale -- even if it did have some new and interesting observations -- to feel a bit old.
I think there are valid concerns here.
choco
+1 -0
and here's what Onstad has to say about that:
[IMGS OFF]
and here's what Onstad has to say about that:
[IMGS OFF]
emosexy
+0 -0
i don't get it
i don't get it
myfirstpost
+0 -0
The tail.
The tail.
doppelganger
+0 -0
The "3MTAE"
The "3MTAE"
choco
+0 -0
no it's 3MTA3
no it's 3MTA3
neonfreon
+0 -0
i gave u a chubby, and i gave it to you hard
i gave u a chubby, and i gave it to you hard
joeynarcotic
+0 -1
Ok first of all you are either deliberately misreading me to make your point, or you are dense.
Ray and Beef went from two cartoon cats with basically no distinguishing features, to characters.
Ramses was introduced as a rumour who was cool because he was a legendary hard man who gave nothing away. He is now demystified, but the mystery has not been replaced with anything interesting.
Cartilage Head was introduced in a story that was perfect and complete, while keeping the character at arm's length to maintain the creepy mystery. Now, already, he is a recurring character. He is going the way of Freddy Kruger, who quickly shifted from terrifying oeneric child molestor to someone whose face was printed on kiddie pyjamas.
It isn't true of all characters. For example I would be happy to see more of Nightlife, but I don't think anything would be gained by bringing back Lonis Edison.
But you're obviously a fan of over-exposure. Enjoy your skin cancer.
Ok first of all you are either deliberately misreading me to make your point, or you are dense.
Ray and Beef went from two cartoon cats with basically no distinguishing features, to characters.
Ramses was introduced as a rumour who was cool because he was a legendary hard man who gave nothing away. He is now demystified, but the mystery has not been replaced with anything interesting.
Cartilage Head was introduced in a story that was perfect and complete, while keeping the character at arm's length to maintain the creepy mystery. Now, already, he is a recurring character. He is going the way of Freddy Kruger, who quickly shifted from terrifying oeneric child molestor to someone whose face was printed on kiddie pyjamas.
It isn't true of all characters. For example I would be happy to see more of Nightlife, but I don't think anything would be gained by bringing back Lonis Edison.
But you're obviously a fan of over-exposure. Enjoy your skin cancer.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
"You disagree with me. You're dumb and also deliberately misinterpreted what I said." That's the way to do it. Sorry, but outright rejecting something as false and providing your own point of view is not the same thing.
Ray started just as legendary and mythical as Ramses. Remember T having dreams about him wearing a cape?
Is the character of Cartilage Head irrevocably destroyed for you now? If so you might be the dense one.
"Smug salutation that was derived from extrapolating from one situation and applying it to all of them."
"You disagree with me. You're dumb and also deliberately misinterpreted what I said." That's the way to do it. Sorry, but outright rejecting something as false and providing your own point of view is not the same thing.
Ray started just as legendary and mythical as Ramses. Remember T having dreams about him wearing a cape?
Is the character of Cartilage Head irrevocably destroyed for you now? If so you might be the dense one.
"Smug salutation that was derived from extrapolating from one situation and applying it to all of them."
joeynarcotic
+0 -0
When Ramses is first even mentioned, it is in the context of him being a force of nature, a gentleman, and the winner of the Great Outdoor Fight.
When Ray first appears, it is as "the cigarette-smoking cat on the far right who is shocked at how dirty Teodor is talking."
Not exactly the same legendary level of mythical.
I'm ordering Cartilage Head PJs as I type this, by the way.
When Ramses is first even mentioned, it is in the context of him being a force of nature, a gentleman, and the winner of the Great Outdoor Fight.
When Ray first appears, it is as "the cigarette-smoking cat on the far right who is shocked at how dirty Teodor is talking."
Not exactly the same legendary level of mythical.
I'm ordering Cartilage Head PJs as I type this, by the way.
valorgigo
+0 -0
I guess the tapping from the last strip was only to warm up their laptops, and not any actual typing of the story.
I guess the tapping from the last strip was only to warm up their laptops, and not any actual typing of the story.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
You don't always warm up your laptop? No wonder your lesbian erotica is so notoriously poor.
You don't always warm up your laptop? No wonder your lesbian erotica is so notoriously poor.
ivanstrel
+0 -0
Roast Beef dies all the time. You think he'd be used to it by now.
Roast Beef dies all the time. You think he'd be used to it by now.
doomchild
+0 -0
I don't get used to being kicked in the sack every day by my boss. I imagine it's a similar experience.
I don't get used to being kicked in the sack every day by my boss. I imagine it's a similar experience.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
If you spent less time on messageboards, more time working, and wore longer pants, I wouldn't have to junkpunt you as often. Now where are your TPS reports?
If you spent less time on messageboards, more time working, and wore longer pants, I wouldn't have to junkpunt you as often. Now where are your TPS reports?
implode
+1 -0
Am I the only one who is confused as to why there seems to be no lesbians at all in the audience at the Sapphic Erotica write-off?
Am I the only one who is confused as to why there seems to be no lesbians at all in the audience at the Sapphic Erotica write-off?
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
choco
+0 -0
maybe you and Thegoblins can do something about that for us...?
maybe you and Thegoblins can do something about that for us...?
edd36
+0 -0
Nah, they're all lesbians, that's just how Onstad draws 'em.
Nah, they're all lesbians, that's just how Onstad draws 'em.
ouroboros
+0 -0
those two at the bottom right are definitely lesbians
those two at the bottom right are definitely lesbians
lateadopter
+2 -0
I note that, as usual, Onstad manages to convey Roast Beef's many emotions even with an elephant costume covering his head. There's no cheating with the glasses changing position or any of that shit. It's all in the posture. Minimalist? What else do you need?
I note that, as usual, Onstad manages to convey Roast Beef's many emotions even with an elephant costume covering his head. There's no cheating with the glasses changing position or any of that shit. It's all in the posture. Minimalist? What else do you need?
ishuta
+0 -0
I'm gay and hate lesbian. Go to die, lesbian.
I'm gay and hate lesbian. Go to die, lesbian.
ishuta
+0 -1
Ooh, I'm a lesbian. Look at my sneering soulless eyes and horrible smirking mouth. Feminist vegan agnostic BITCH. FUCKING KILL ME.
Ooh, I'm a lesbian. Look at my sneering soulless eyes and horrible smirking mouth. Feminist vegan agnostic BITCH. FUCKING KILL ME.
ishuta
+0 -0
PLEASE. I WANT TO DIE.
PLEASE. I WANT TO DIE.
wolfensti
+0 -0
You make it sound appealing
You make it sound appealing
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Killing him? Yes.
Killing him? Yes.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
dis some truth
dis some truth
choco
+0 -0
what the fuck is this talking about???
Hark how it proposes, as it begs, as it screams
Hark how it lives, how it laughs as it cries
even if you want it, because I'm mixing is not a
way you do, it will already be correct.
what the fuck is this talking about???
Hark how it proposes, as it begs, as it screams
Hark how it lives, how it laughs as it cries
even if you want it, because I'm mixing is not a
way you do, it will already be correct.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
I have just moved from a place with 7 roommates, to a place with 2 roommates. Anyone have any advice to get rid of the panic attacks? I cannot find weed, otherwise, there would be no problem.
I have just moved from a place with 7 roommates, to a place with 2 roommates. Anyone have any advice to get rid of the panic attacks? I cannot find weed, otherwise, there would be no problem.
gladi8orrex
+6 -1
i know a good cure.
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY.
only girls get panic attacks.
step 1:rogain
step 2: apply to ballsack
step3: now get the fuck outta my face
i know a good cure.
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY.
only girls get panic attacks.
step 1:rogain
step 2: apply to ballsack
step3: now get the fuck outta my face
choco
+0 -0
if you has panic attack maybe you have imbalance of brain activities I suggest you see a psychiatrist or if you can't afford one then you can at least afford the book "healing anxiety and depression" by daniel amen it's a good book with a modern approach to psychiatry which is unfortunately not very common in psychiatry today psychiatry is in the dark ages they is mostly practically only one step removed from bleeding you with leeches.
if you has panic attack maybe you have imbalance of brain activities I suggest you see a psychiatrist or if you can't afford one then you can at least afford the book "healing anxiety and depression" by daniel amen it's a good book with a modern approach to psychiatry which is unfortunately not very common in psychiatry today psychiatry is in the dark ages they is mostly practically only one step removed from bleeding you with leeches.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
He's right, you know.
He's right, you know.
thegoblins
+1 -0
Rogaine causes impotence.
Rogaine causes impotence.
edd36
+0 -0
Pretty hard to get your bone on mid panic attack though. Seems a bit of a lose/lose situation.
Ona more serious note, maybe you should cut down on the weed. I've known people to develop panicy tendancies if they've over indulged (disclaimer: it affects people differently etc, WHATEVER.)
Pretty hard to get your bone on mid panic attack though. Seems a bit of a lose/lose situation.
Ona more serious note, maybe you should cut down on the weed. I've known people to develop panicy tendancies if they've over indulged (disclaimer: it affects people differently etc, WHATEVER.)
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's more than that. Rogaine blocks the pathway leading to the production of alpha di-hydrosomething testosterone thingie. So applying it to your sack would probably give you the opposite of an active and healthy sack.
It's more than that. Rogaine blocks the pathway leading to the production of alpha di-hydrosomething testosterone thingie. So applying it to your sack would probably give you the opposite of an active and healthy sack.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Looked this up. Apparently my physiology teacher was lying, kinda.
Looked this up. Apparently my physiology teacher was lying, kinda.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
ya cuz my dick still squirts and i rub rogaine on my balls like bengay on an itch, baby
ya cuz my dick still squirts and i rub rogaine on my balls like bengay on an itch, baby
choco
+1 -0
mmm. speaking of hair, it's like, what is up with hair... some people have hairy chests and some don't. And there are different varieties of hair too.. some hair is thicker than others. Some is thin. It makes me wonder I mean, are there people out there with like, horse hair? Or close to it? What's that like, however rough or thin your hair is, to be on one end or the other of the evolutionary spectrum for your genius?
that makes me wonder also about assholes too. I mean, not just assholes, but among other things, assholes are a pretty pointed example of this... It's like... perhaps some people's assholes are evolutionarily more comfortable with others? Ya know. Asshole comfort is a big industry. they sell powders and gels for it. Ya ever wake up and you are wearing some tight jeans or something and you are sweating profusely and your asshole is all sticky and it's like, damn, I need a shower. my asshole needs a shower. What if you were like that all day on a normal day? Ya know. Maybe in the literature there is some disease where your asshole won't stop sweating.
there was something else I was going to mention too, but I can't remember what it is just now.
mmm. speaking of hair, it's like, what is up with hair... some people have hairy chests and some don't. And there are different varieties of hair too.. some hair is thicker than others. Some is thin. It makes me wonder I mean, are there people out there with like, horse hair? Or close to it? What's that like, however rough or thin your hair is, to be on one end or the other of the evolutionary spectrum for your genius?
that makes me wonder also about assholes too. I mean, not just assholes, but among other things, assholes are a pretty pointed example of this... It's like... perhaps some people's assholes are evolutionarily more comfortable with others? Ya know. Asshole comfort is a big industry. they sell powders and gels for it. Ya ever wake up and you are wearing some tight jeans or something and you are sweating profusely and your asshole is all sticky and it's like, damn, I need a shower. my asshole needs a shower. What if you were like that all day on a normal day? Ya know. Maybe in the literature there is some disease where your asshole won't stop sweating.
there was something else I was going to mention too, but I can't remember what it is just now.
edd36
+0 -0
Hair distribution on humans started out as an example of neotony, but picked up a load of sexual connotations. Our adoption of clothing and spreading to all kinds of climates stopped dead any evolutionary trend with reagards to body hair and probably accounts for the large variety between people. Hair itself is pretty impresive in terms of evolution, slightly surpassed by the feather (in my humble opinion).
As for the comfort of assholes... ok, I need 50 females for vigourous... scientific testing... *ahem*
Hair distribution on humans started out as an example of neotony, but picked up a load of sexual connotations. Our adoption of clothing and spreading to all kinds of climates stopped dead any evolutionary trend with reagards to body hair and probably accounts for the large variety between people. Hair itself is pretty impresive in terms of evolution, slightly surpassed by the feather (in my humble opinion).
As for the comfort of assholes... ok, I need 50 females for vigourous... scientific testing... *ahem*
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
repeated testing.
repeated testing.
jeffspaulding
+2 -0
The cure for a sweaty asshole is to tell them to take the fucking sweater from around their neck.
[IMGS OFF]
The cure for a sweaty asshole is to tell them to take the fucking sweater from around their neck.
[IMGS OFF]
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Brad. He fucked some guy in the ass once (okay, maybe a few other times with a few other guys ) but it totally wasn't gay because they never kissed.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Brad. He fucked some guy in the ass once (okay, maybe a few other times with a few other guys ) but it totally wasn't gay because they never kissed.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Nice friendship bracelet, Brad .
Nice friendship bracelet, Brad .
edd36
+0 -0
It's not scientific unless you repeat it!
It's not scientific unless you repeat it!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Well, the asshole has some pretty impressive innervation considering how tiny it is.
Well, the asshole has some pretty impressive innervation considering how tiny it is.
choco
+0 -0
I wonder if there's any taste bud type of nerves or similar in the asshole. I bet there is.
I wonder if there's any taste bud type of nerves or similar in the asshole. I bet there is.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Chubbied; you made me laugh out loud. At work!How can I explain myself?
Chubbied; you made me laugh out loud. At work!How can I explain myself?
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
I hope that you never mistake Bengay for Rogaine.
Seriously. That would be terrible.
I hope that you never mistake Bengay for Rogaine.
Seriously. That would be terrible.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
That makes sense. As some Greek or Roman chap who I can't be bothered to look up (Pliny the Elder?) pointed out, eunuchs never go bald.
That makes sense. As some Greek or Roman chap who I can't be bothered to look up (Pliny the Elder?) pointed out, eunuchs never go bald.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Testosterone is implicated in male pattern baldness!
Testosterone is implicated in male pattern baldness!
choco
+0 -0
yeah so cut off your nut sack and you kill two birds with one stone. err... three, I guess.
yeah so cut off your nut sack and you kill two birds with one stone. err... three, I guess.
choco
+0 -0
(shaving the scrotum is kinda challenging/daunting)
(shaving the scrotum is kinda challenging/daunting)
wolfensti
+0 -0
(let's now forget itchy/unconfortable, too)
(let's now forget itchy/unconfortable, too)
thegoblins
+0 -0
One bird will kill your two stones?
One bird will kill your two stones?
edd36
+0 -2
Thanks for the nightmares. Ah well, misery loves company.
[IMGS OFF]
Thanks for the nightmares. Ah well, misery loves company.
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It is impossible to enjoy sunbathing so much that even that wouldn't ruin your feeling of relaxation.
It is impossible to enjoy sunbathing so much that even that wouldn't ruin your feeling of relaxation.
edd36
+0 -1
Ok, in light of your perfectly welcome criticism of my efforts I've fixed it, just for you.
[IMGS OFF]
Ok, in light of your perfectly welcome criticism of my efforts I've fixed it, just for you.
[IMGS OFF]
choco
+0 -0
you are strange sometimes i love kate
you are strange sometimes i love kate
maximus
+0 -0
A vulture was hacking at my feet. It had already torn my boots and stockings to shreds, now it was hacking at the feet themselves. Again and again it struck at them, then circled several times restlessly round me, then returned to continue its work. A gentleman passed by, looked on for a while, then asked me why I suffered the vulture. "I'm helpless," I said. "When it came and began to attack me, I of course tried to drive it away, even to strangle it, but these animals are very strong, it was about to spring at my face, but I preferred to sacrifice my feet. Now they are almost torn to bits." "Fancy letting yourself be tortured like this!" said the gentleman. "One shot and that's the end of the vulture." "Really ?" I said. "And would you do that?" "With pleasure," said the gentleman, "I've only got to go home and get my gun. Could you wait another half hour?" "I'm not sure about that," said I, and stood for a moment rigid with pain. Then I said: "Do try it in any case, please." "Very well," said the gentleman, "I'll be as quick as I can." During this conversation the vulture had been calmly listening, letting its eye rove between me and the gentleman. Now I realized that it had understood everything; it took wing, leaned far back to gain impetus, and then, like a javelin thrower, thrust its beak through my mouth, deep into me. Falling back, I was relieved to feel him drowning irretrievably in my blood, which was filling every depth, flooding every shore.
A vulture was hacking at my feet. It had already torn my boots and stockings to shreds, now it was hacking at the feet themselves. Again and again it struck at them, then circled several times restlessly round me, then returned to continue its work. A gentleman passed by, looked on for a while, then asked me why I suffered the vulture. "I'm helpless," I said. "When it came and began to attack me, I of course tried to drive it away, even to strangle it, but these animals are very strong, it was about to spring at my face, but I preferred to sacrifice my feet. Now they are almost torn to bits." "Fancy letting yourself be tortured like this!" said the gentleman. "One shot and that's the end of the vulture." "Really ?" I said. "And would you do that?" "With pleasure," said the gentleman, "I've only got to go home and get my gun. Could you wait another half hour?" "I'm not sure about that," said I, and stood for a moment rigid with pain. Then I said: "Do try it in any case, please." "Very well," said the gentleman, "I'll be as quick as I can." During this conversation the vulture had been calmly listening, letting its eye rove between me and the gentleman. Now I realized that it had understood everything; it took wing, leaned far back to gain impetus, and then, like a javelin thrower, thrust its beak through my mouth, deep into me. Falling back, I was relieved to feel him drowning irretrievably in my blood, which was filling every depth, flooding every shore.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Even deep into the last sentence, I believed this to be a joke.
Even deep into the last sentence, I believed this to be a joke.
edd36
+0 -0
Me too. In fact I'm still not convinced it isn't. Time to read it again to make sure I didn't miss the punchline.
Me too. In fact I'm still not convinced it isn't. Time to read it again to make sure I didn't miss the punchline.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
I can give you the punch line from another vulture joke if it helps.
"'Fuck off said the chicken, 'you're scaring away the vultures'"
I can give you the punch line from another vulture joke if it helps.
"'Fuck off said the chicken, 'you're scaring away the vultures'"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh Kafka!
I of course had to google that, but I'm glad to now know Kafka was demented enough to write more than just about giant bugs and penal colonies.
Oh Kafka!
I of course had to google that, but I'm glad to now know Kafka was demented enough to write more than just about giant bugs and penal colonies.
edd36
+0 -0
Not a joke then? I'm convinced that with an appropriate punchline it'd make an awesome joke...
Not a joke then? I'm convinced that with an appropriate punchline it'd make an awesome joke...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
...so I said to the vulture "that's not my larynx, that's my PHARYNX!"
...so I said to the vulture "that's not my larynx, that's my PHARYNX!"
edd36
+0 -0
I always hoped I'd die with part of me down a bird's throat, not the other way around.
I always hoped I'd die with part of me down a bird's throat, not the other way around.
edd36
+0 -0
*I had always hoped that I'd...
*I had always hoped that I'd...
choco
+0 -0
it's not a joke, rather, it's humorous writing, of the alice in wonderland style
it's not a joke, rather, it's humorous writing, of the alice in wonderland style
mr_ite
+0 -0
Some of the animals in Panel 4 are absolutely terrifying.
Some of the animals in Panel 4 are absolutely terrifying.
kotoku
+1 -0
I'm always so disappointed with Onstad is late. More so than any other web comic author.
I'm always so disappointed with Onstad is late. More so than any other web comic author.
choco
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
irien
+0 -0
Did you mean "with Onstad of late" or "when Onstad is late"?
Two totally different meanings there depending on exactly which word you fucked up. The first one gets you the Yoda. The second is kind of understandable.
Did you mean "with Onstad of late" or "when Onstad is late"?
Two totally different meanings there depending on exactly which word you fucked up. The first one gets you the Yoda. The second is kind of understandable.
kotoku
+0 -0
The latter of the two. I checked every couple of hours and was disappointed.
I can't wait to see where this goes, Teodor wants to lay some serious erotica down.
The latter of the two. I checked every couple of hours and was disappointed.
I can't wait to see where this goes, Teodor wants to lay some serious erotica down.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i am drunk and unable to wait for the new comic anymore 'cos the page is so bright and it makes my headache worse.
let's re-talk tomorrow.
i am drunk and unable to wait for the new comic anymore 'cos the page is so bright and it makes my headache worse.
let's re-talk tomorrow.
cromar
+0 -0
Finish it already!
[IMGS OFF]
Finish it already!
[IMGS OFF]
cromar
+0 -0
Er... not to be demanding or anything.
Er... not to be demanding or anything.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Man too many times i've stumbled home from a night on "on the binge" and found the bright multi-syllabic achewood too much to bear. I have the "Jon works at the alarm clock factory" strip saved to my favourites for those occaisions.
Man too many times i've stumbled home from a night on "on the binge" and found the bright multi-syllabic achewood too much to bear. I have the "Jon works at the alarm clock factory" strip saved to my favourites for those occaisions.
lynnym
+0 -0
Absolutely have to agree with you on that one.
Absolutely have to agree with you on that one.
choco
+0 -0
survey here.
does anyone have any faith in humanity? If so how much? What percentage of your fellow humans are kidna, piece of shit that you'd rather not share a continent with? Do you peg that number at 1%? 10%? 50%?
I'm thinking that if all of the systems of society kinda imploded, some countries would be better off than others.
You look at some countries where they don't have a lot of systems in place to keep everyone in line, and some of those countries are totally fucked, whereas others of those countries are relatively peaceful.
I think if government sorta collapsed, the U.S. would be nothing but murder and mayhem, whereas some other countries might be better off... Canadians are a lot nicer than Americans, so if the government sorta collapsed in Canada, you'd be a lot better off in Canada than in the U.S., except of course for all the asshole Americans who would come to Canada if there weren't a boarder patrol to keep them out.
mexico_builds_border_wall_to_keep out US assholes
.
.
Discovery Of Oil Turns Peru Into Bunch Of Assholes
.
as you can see the literature supports my thesis.
survey here.
does anyone have any faith in humanity? If so how much? What percentage of your fellow humans are kidna, piece of shit that you'd rather not share a continent with? Do you peg that number at 1%? 10%? 50%?
I'm thinking that if all of the systems of society kinda imploded, some countries would be better off than others.
You look at some countries where they don't have a lot of systems in place to keep everyone in line, and some of those countries are totally fucked, whereas others of those countries are relatively peaceful.
I think if government sorta collapsed, the U.S. would be nothing but murder and mayhem, whereas some other countries might be better off... Canadians are a lot nicer than Americans, so if the government sorta collapsed in Canada, you'd be a lot better off in Canada than in the U.S., except of course for all the asshole Americans who would come to Canada if there weren't a boarder patrol to keep them out.
mexico_builds_border_wall_to_keep out US assholes
.
.
Discovery Of Oil Turns Peru Into Bunch Of Assholes
.
as you can see the literature supports my thesis.
edd36
+0 -0
Looking at it on a country scale is a bit difficult, but I fully understand it on a smaller level. Imagine a village of a few hundred people, everyone there knows everyone else, it's a bit out of the way, so the main past time is talking to your neighbours. Society in general collapses, but for the village they'd just keep going as they always did. They aren't going to riot and go rob the nearest shop because they know the shop owner and can get credit there whenever they like. Now compare that to where I live, I don't even know my neighbour's first names, society implodes and I have no idea what those motherfuckers would do.
Looking at it on a country scale is a bit difficult, but I fully understand it on a smaller level. Imagine a village of a few hundred people, everyone there knows everyone else, it's a bit out of the way, so the main past time is talking to your neighbours. Society in general collapses, but for the village they'd just keep going as they always did. They aren't going to riot and go rob the nearest shop because they know the shop owner and can get credit there whenever they like. Now compare that to where I live, I don't even know my neighbour's first names, society implodes and I have no idea what those motherfuckers would do.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and they think the same about you.
and they think the same about you.
edd36
+0 -0
Exactly! So my only option is to get them before they get me... *caresses knife and looks around in a paranoid fashion*
Exactly! So my only option is to get them before they get me... *caresses knife and looks around in a paranoid fashion*
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
(but you do not let your neighbor see this action.)
(but you do not let your neighbor see this action.)
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
society woz invented for weaker peeps to get ahead of strong peoples. an after teh initial mayhem as teh weak people realize they cannit sustain they powah teh strong eventually make 2 teh top after much bloodshed an fings go back2 mor primitive time
society woz invented for weaker peeps to get ahead of strong peoples. an after teh initial mayhem as teh weak people realize they cannit sustain they powah teh strong eventually make 2 teh top after much bloodshed an fings go back2 mor primitive time
edd36
+0 -1
Actually, society wasn't invented as much as evlolved. If by strong peoples you mean Sabretoothed Tigers you're roughly correct.
Actually, society wasn't invented as much as evlolved. If by strong peoples you mean Sabretoothed Tigers you're roughly correct.
edd36
+0 -1
Yes I meant evlolved, not evolved. It's similar but it eventually leads to similar internet memes.
*Watches to see if his excuse for poo spelling is believed*
Yes I meant evlolved, not evolved. It's similar but it eventually leads to similar internet memes.
*Watches to see if his excuse for poo spelling is believed*
edd36
+0 -2
POOR spelling dammit.
*post checked thrice for spelling errors (two found and corrected)*
POOR spelling dammit.
*post checked thrice for spelling errors (two found and corrected)*
edd36
+0 -2
Urgh, double use of the word similar too. I need to hire someone to proof-read my posts.
Urgh, double use of the word similar too. I need to hire someone to proof-read my posts.
edd36
+0 -2
In fact the second similar was meant tto be silly .
In fact the second similar was meant tto be silly .
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
ya kinow all that rantin' bullshit you posted just now?
ya. i lamed the fuck out of it ALL
ya kinow all that rantin' bullshit you posted just now?
ya. i lamed the fuck out of it ALL
edd36
+0 -0
Chubbied as the most coherent and clearly expresed gladi post ever.
Chubbied as the most coherent and clearly expresed gladi post ever.
rowboat
+0 -0
I believe your excuse for poo spelling.
I believe your excuse for poo spelling.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Unless he's a doctor, there's no excuse for poo smelling.
Unless he's a doctor, there's no excuse for poo smelling.
flaxplus
+0 -0
Panel 6 is the best panel in the history of comics
Panel 6 is the best panel in the history of comics
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
hello witty rephrasing of 'onstad can't keep a deadline'
how are you
hello witty rephrasing of 'onstad can't keep a deadline'
how are you
shinkusan
+0 -0
Out of curiosity, why does 'Stad put "Continues" on some of the mid-arc strips but not all? Maybe if it looked like an ending, but this one doesn't look any more like an end then any of the other ones in this arc. I thought the first comic in the arc was gonna be a one-shot, but after that it looked like a full-on thing pretty much every time.
Out of curiosity, why does 'Stad put "Continues" on some of the mid-arc strips but not all? Maybe if it looked like an ending, but this one doesn't look any more like an end then any of the other ones in this arc. I thought the first comic in the arc was gonna be a one-shot, but after that it looked like a full-on thing pretty much every time.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I think it's a teaser kind of thing. Like "ooohoo, yesss, the fun is JUST BEGINNING." I think he uses it more for when The Plot Thickens and when it gets juicy.
I think it's a teaser kind of thing. Like "ooohoo, yesss, the fun is JUST BEGINNING." I think he uses it more for when The Plot Thickens and when it gets juicy.
edd36
+0 -0
Another reason is that if he does a strip that he intends to be the start of an arc , but stands alone by itself and then finds the rest of his ideas foir the arc to be unsatisfactory he can just can the arc. If he tried doing that here a LOT of people would be upset, so it's fairly safe to put a 'to be continued' in.
Another reason is that if he does a strip that he intends to be the start of an arc , but stands alone by itself and then finds the rest of his ideas foir the arc to be unsatisfactory he can just can the arc. If he tried doing that here a LOT of people would be upset, so it's fairly safe to put a 'to be continued' in.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the next comic will be Philippe standing on something else. or maybe IN something else. and then he'll call Lyle over, and he'll punch Phil. the child will pick Philippe up, carry him outside and bury him in some topsoil. he'll befriend seven crickets later in the evening, where he'll see an antique car trundle past.
the next comic will be Philippe standing on something else. or maybe IN something else. and then he'll call Lyle over, and he'll punch Phil. the child will pick Philippe up, carry him outside and bury him in some topsoil. he'll befriend seven crickets later in the evening, where he'll see an antique car trundle past.
choco
+0 -0
In this case he is putting 'continues' because he wants the voice of the narrator to be part of the strip, old school style. this old school style of having a narrator complements the style of the current strip.
In this case he is putting 'continues' because he wants the voice of the narrator to be part of the strip, old school style. this old school style of having a narrator complements the style of the current strip.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I concur with regards to the old school system. It draws a parallel with those Victorian writers who thought they were so clever that their third person narrator commented on the events in a less than biased form.
I concur with regards to the old school system. It draws a parallel with those Victorian writers who thought they were so clever that their third person narrator commented on the events in a less than biased form.
belgand
+1 -0
I find that a roux is generally the best and most consistent way to thicken the plot.
I find that a roux is generally the best and most consistent way to thicken the plot.
octafish
+1 -0
Jesus, I go away for a week and CH returns, that is just, just... Jesus...
Jesus, I go away for a week and CH returns, that is just, just... Jesus...
juggler
+0 -0
Cartilage Head is the Man at the Controls.
This is not going to be a good day for Roast Beef.
A comment left by spazdor was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Fooker, RedGuy)
Comment left by keylimepie ignored.
A comment left by bitchtits was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, MelloClello, riotdejaneiro, HonestTom, jack, gladi8orrex, jamesnvc, Deusoma, srikamaraja, JeffSpaulding, snidedk, Scorpio_nadir, FablesandBlues, MortisInvictus, litfanbreastman, johnald, cmr, mystkmanat, Fcannon, Westacular, mrblank91, smilebuddha, Irien, IanDorrinson, SPECTRE, Frankreich)
No Gamma radiation without a GRB phenomenon. Non sequitur. Alpha and Beta rays can be quite easily deflected.
Listen to that man, he knows Science
i chubby him!
I CHUBBY THE SCIENCE AS HIS FATHER!
this is what i was alluding to. a chuppy.
Science. It is what we need more of.
I've been breeding chuppies for years.
I think "breeding chubbies" needs to be a new euphemism for masturbating.
Like, "Sorry I didn't answer the phone, dude, I was breeding chubbies. Here, I'll e-mail you this video I found, it's super hot."
Could you CC me on that too? I've been meaning to up my chuppie/lame ratio. (what would be a lame in this metaphor?)
Lame would be computer time spent on a board obsessed with anthropomorphic cats.
Says the guy with four avatars
Saw this on Plan59.com, and thought of you all...
[IMGS OFF]
... but - but Hamscout. It has already been posted!
'Can't talk now mom, I am totally breeding a chubby right here! I'll call you back!'
It sounds like you have a free-range pants full of the critters.
You're hawt.
Science to the face!
If there is nothing to hide, why is the notorious SPECTRE so interested in silencing these brave crackpots?
MONOLOG?!??!?
Monologue.
Bothered me too. Same with people who spell dialogue 'dialog'. You might as well spell through 'thru' and watch civilization itself crumble around you.
I, too, am a grammar/spelling Nazi. We are the last vanguards of this particular indo-european polyglot.
'Last vanguards' might just be an oxymoron, mind.
Try "last bulwark against the tyranny of nonsensical neologisms and syntactical shoddiness."
Truly a monstrous regiment. I shall prepare the ceremonial trumpet.
And yet for some reason I doubt there's a pecker among them.
OGN (original grammar Nazi).
It's interesting that the few obvious errors in spelling and diction seen in Achewood are usually from Ray (assuming here that Ray wrote the lectern notes).
Maybe it's part of Onstad's characterisation of Ray, like Beef's lack of punctuation. Or it could be that channeling Ray causes Chris to temporarily drop a few dozen IQ points, allowing errors to seep in.
I was sure that the misspelling was Ray's--clearly he wrote the prompter notes, and Onstad is a better proofreader than that. But it turns out it's not a misspelling at all (sorry I can't BBcode for shit):
https://dictionary.reference.com/browse/monolog
I think it's still a misspelling.
Dictionaries and lexographers have a responsibility to record language as it is used, not as it 'should' be used.
That's why the online dictionary you linked to also has an entry for 'irregardless': https://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irregardless
People use it, so it must be recorded. Still a mistake though.
That makes sense.
So it's not a word, but you really think it's a mistake? That's the sort of misspelling Ray would make; it's way out of character for Onstad.
And just for curiosity's sake, anyone know of a blatant (not-in-character) typo anywhere in the archive?
I shall never accept that "grey" can be spelled with an 'a'. It is simply unnatural.
I find that "advisor" also tends to trip people up quite often. So much so that the incorrect spelling has been cropping up far too often recently. Even though nobody would dare spell "advisery" in such a manner.
Sir, your defense of our beloved grey has been noted and chubbied. We shall never falter before the imperialist ambitions of 'a'.
ADVISERY
It looks like the mangled corpse of an angel surrounded by demons dancing in a ring of fire. Oooooh shiiiiit.
I have no idea who you are but I like the cut of your jib.
TheGoblins' jib provided by Jean-Paul Gaultier
Can't I make a Blackadder joke without you bringing the French into this?
Apparently the French know what they're doing. Perhaps you should bring them into this. That's what she said
Don't invite the French into anything. That is a horrible thing. Why would you do that? Why are you doing this to me?
I'm so sorry. Don't worry. I'm leaving the French out. No one's going in anything. Husha now and do some coloring
I have been corrected by Firefox and MS Word too many times. I use adviser. But I will NEVER EVER use "gray." No matter who corrects me. I don't know why. But there you go.
I think the fact that we're all talking about it proves Onstad knew what he was typing. It's an intentional "misspelling" though it really isn't. HE KNOWS HIS AUDIENCE AND HE'S PLAYING WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS PEOPLE
That's more or less what I was saying.
I don't apologize for embellishing.
Monolog:
[IMGS OFF]
I've got a famous 'one-log' picture, but I'm at work right now, and can't post it.
said log is 1:1 scale with my penis
I'VE SOLD MONOLOGS TO BROCKWAY, OGDENVILLE AND NORTH HAVERBROOK, AND BY GOD IT PUT THEM ON THE MAP!
Monoloooog. Monoloooog. Monoloooog. Mono-doh!
Monoloooog. Monoloooog. Monoloooog. Mono-doh!
ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING!
Monoooo- Hey, stop touching my leg!
I'm sorry it's just that you're so pretty and I'm so lonely and I... I love the way you handle a pineapple.
And I am also a registered sex offender.
Well, as long as you're registered I guess it's okay.
During the learner's permit period you may only sex offend at church, school and work.
And you must have an adult with you.
zing!
sex offend (v)
1. to offend sexually.
Kyle sex offended Tracy after the party with his tiny thing.
Sexoffend (n)
1. an ineffective breed of race horse, once bred in Dorset, now considered a household pest in most of the West Country. Immortalized in the 18th century drinking song "Last Place Sexoffend" and the American town of Sexoffend, Iowa.
Your monoleg?
teehee.
where the hell did this come from??
awesome avatar/comment synergy there ian
YOU and ME should GET TOGETHER and DISCUSS your PENCHANT for CAPITALIZATION some time, FUCKER!
lamelamelamelamelamelamelame
WWELL, YOU AND [u]I[/i] SHOULD PROBABLY LOSE SOME WEIGHT!
goddamn better believe.
Hey, I made some calls and it turns out that man CAN land on the moon! Also you'll weigh less while you're there.
Ah, the elusive underliciziation. Spectacular to see but rarely done. I commend your effort.
I wanna try!
Gasp!
i gabe u a chuppy 4 makin da beebeecode wurk even tho u is wimmens
plummet is Gladi8orex.
Funny, I thought you were...
y u gotta say shit like da,t bro
y u b hatin
Your html closing tag was hastily chosen and unfortunate.
Wait, what?
Until I see some sort of crystalline castle hanging off the moon by a carbon fiber tether with a 24-hour disco inside of it, then I don't really give a shit about the moon. Perfect orbit my ass...
that's what she said.
She specifically said not to just orbit my ass, but to fucking perfect orbit that shit.
yes.
I love AssetBar people who think they can imitate Beef and Ray. It's cute.
Uh yeah dogg I mean it is pretty much foolishness in the main to try to talk like someone you're not
Whadda he says goes a double for a me.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Holy shit. The marx brothers are all posting from beyond the grave.
Dude, points for originality, but maybe wait until you get out of the echo chamber before you continue commenting.
Holy shit. The marx brothers are all posting from beyond the grave.
Dude, points for originality, but maybe wait until you get out of the echo chamber before you continue commenting.
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.
and Marxy-Marx here would know.
the tragedy was Lenin. The farce was Stalin.
So says I.
tekende,
Do you think it is wrong for a man to give chubbies to another man?
Or do you agree with me that it is okay?
Oh I ain't really got such as an opinion on that it uh I mean it ain't my business to go tellin' people who to love you know
Imitating people is wrong! Lyle is showing me how to puke 4 feet, I'll talk later, action friends!
gnan gnan gnaaaaah pffsh
Kee-yah Kee-yah
im just chubbying you for "emosexy".
Chubbied while i breed some chubby chuppies.
Mecha Shiva?
Who lamed me? Come on, man, the Venture Bros. is a great show!
The lame was due to you claiming you knew Sanskrit.
Honestly, narnial, where do you pick this stuff up? I've never even seen you read! It's like you're channeling dead crazy people.
Figure 1 - Mecha Shiva
[IMGS OFF]
Figure 2 - Mecha Chivas
[IMGS OFF]
Figure 3 - Mecca Shaver
[IMGS OFF]
(some have seen these before.)
I am in awe.
Figure 4- Mecca Lecca Hi Mecca Hiney Ho
[IMGS OFF]
Holy shit this arch juts got epic. I am, how you say, fucking giddy.
Seriously, this arch I'm building is epic... or I'm just, how you say, fucking dumb.
i see that someone strategically lamed you for the use of the epithet ''epic''
Almost like someone should put together an "Epic / Brutal" report ...
Hasn't Roast Beef died and came back to life ... what, four times? Why is he upset? He's bigger than Jesus.
You only get nine, so you don't want to use them up.
he never stopped crying.
He has returned for revenge on Ray by doing unspeakable things to Roast Beef and totally dissin' his sapphic erotica.
[IMGS OFF]
I don't know if I could trust a guy who doesn't speak.
[honk-honk]
Easy for you to say
...to the Proletariat.
Oh, Karl. Always with the Proletariat. You need to get laid my friend!
Karl Marx, your final question, who won the Cup Final in 1949?
Most Monty Python references are so overdone, you get a chubby for your sublime execution of that one.
You guys are shenanigans! (RB spelled that for me!)
I think I'd say no.
I imagine it depends on who is offering. If it's a gooey, tearful head without bones, maybe no. But what if that card was offered by Dick Cheney?
[IMGS OFF]
Head, you say? I'll give it a shot!
Did somebody say
[IMGS OFF]
Cheney???
Cartilage head looks a lot like...
[IMGS OFF]
Cartilage, not casual updo
No. Ray will redeem himself for "desert[ing] a dying man" by standing by Beef in his hour of need.
Ray will redeem himself for "desert[ing] a dying man" by standing by Beef in his hour of need.
shit shit shit
double shit shit shit -- I see that voodoolily made this observation (once) below.
You have become quite the shitty little man
Keep going guys. This is now the official Trainwreck thread.
My mistake - someone's already posted Chris Crocker below. Forget I said anything.
THIS MUST BE CHUBBIED
I think there should be a scene in a Twin Peaks episode where Bobby's dad says this to Bobby. That would be hilarious.
It is his Purpose to weep for us all, in time.
[IMGS OFF]
HOLY CHRIST WHAT IS THAT
He's the Leave Britney Alone Guy
oh..heard of it..never seen it.
never will, if that's what he looks like.
daaaaang.
I have a major problem with that individual being a boy. Absolutely nothing about him looks male. I mean, I guess if he weren't wearing pants, maybe you'd be able to see one thing on him that looks male, but judging by the rest of him, that's a big maybe.
I see that Tekende has been tricked at a party before. It happens to the best of us. Best just roll with it. If it is good, don't check under the hood.
I see that Tekende is a heteronormative asshole! Pelt him, gyrls! Let the sky run red with our rotten tomata-fruits!
Is that what they're calling them now?
Tekende demands the universe be reasonable. It is not an unreasonable demand.*
*...
The nose and the mouth are a bit boyish.
Thank you for that assessment. He also is the
proudashamed owner of a penis.Phillipe is standing on it.
The penis is a bit girly.
I anticipate that before the day is over someone will photoshop a picture of that guy with an effete penis.
I a don't know why you asked for dis, but here it is:
[IMGS OFF]
Not elephant, effete !
oh, I thought he said eight feet.
I started working in paint, then I realized I don't want the kind of life where drawing anthropomorphic genitalia is what I do for quiet enjoyment.
get outta paint: The GIMP
learn yourself some true editing skill (not that you don't need a certain amount of it to do what you did last night) believe me, i know how hard it is to work in Paint.
did you know that you can make money doing this
In the words (and spirit) of Lie Bot, "It just looks like this ".
Now, if you will pardon me, my seeing-eyes have an appointment a canister of caustic soda.
Wh...what did you do? :(
I need the $10k up front.
i would go looking for bleach for my eyes, but that blinded me. Wait, i shouldn't be able to type..uuhh ... look, a monkey*!
*with a bald penis
All pink and flowery.
HA HA YES VERY GOOD
MY FATHER ONCE KNEW A MAN
everybody finishing my jokes...sheesh.
I thought we were in on it together
ohhhh riiiight
The best question to ask in times of peril is "Pre-op or post-op?"
When I find myself in times of peril
Mother Mary saves my junk
From the devil scalpel...
let it be!
I wake up wanting to stay male,
Mother Mary comes to me!
Though your peen is girly,
let it be!
Mother Mary doesn't want you to be a transexual
hbaranov is a tranny pass it on
I thought we were friends but it seems the devil scalpel is his friend
thegoblins sup srry 2 bother u but some people said u hate transsexuals
I hope that is not tru cause I got tranny peeps
I hope you perish in a scourge of...silkworms!
Would being smothered by puppies be the cutest death?
hey as long as I can masturbate during the process it sounds good to me
You could just eat your way out, like with a tremendous pile of new handkerchiefs.
Observe the proper usage of caps and lack of punctuation to convey autonomic nervous horror.
Chubbed.
LEAVE ROAST BEEF ALONE!
He makes being a homo unappealing.
But the blow-jobs from complete strangers part is still cool.
Meh, that happens for us heteros that have game
from men?
I can't be expected to roll each one over to check
[i]flawless victory![i]
I hear this one being tossed-off in a droll, Cole Porter-esque manner before returning to his cigarette-in-holder.
it's so painful..i don't know wither to chubby or lame you...
have one of the few chames or lubbies i've ever given out.
Not quite so flawless it would seem....
Hedonismbot, there are days when I wish there was a button that could give every one of your posts a chubby.
oh snap
Frankly I'm amazed that you, jeffspaulding, resisted making play with the obvious "Grim Weeper" pun.
I've been off my game. Thegoblins comment Here was stellar. Got me to thinking I should hang it up and let the young folks take over.
NOOOOO we need you!
He's basically the funniest guy here. Double if he actually controls the other brothers.
I'd never thought of that. I hope he doesn't, though. It's funnier if they're all different people, I think.