son_of_selleck
+10 -1
you have to cherish ray's sleeping face.
you have to cherish ray's sleeping face.
omnidope
+1 -1
His nose injury may have given him a deviated septum.
His nose injury may have given him a deviated septum.
imitationcrab
+0 -0
A comment left by imitationcrab was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, daniel_grieff, Thorfinn, pulkbaby)
A comment left by imitationcrab was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, daniel_grieff, Thorfinn, pulkbaby)
odei
+4 -0
Ray's arm is hell of skinny. (Damn, that should not worry me so much.) Have the kebab, Ray, get some meat back on them bones.
Ray's arm is hell of skinny. (Damn, that should not worry me so much.) Have the kebab, Ray, get some meat back on them bones.
odei
+32 -0
Assetbar suggestion: have pop-ups asking "Have you had plenty of sleep?" "Are you intoxicated?" before letting a user post.
Assetbar suggestion: have pop-ups asking "Have you had plenty of sleep?" "Are you intoxicated?" before letting a user post.
k_buttsworthe
+10 -0
"Don't chew that pen you dont know where its been"
"Don't chew that pen you dont know where its been"
k_buttsworthe
+30 -0
"when are you going to start dinner its almost 8 o'clock"
"when are you going to start dinner its almost 8 o'clock"
phoenixultima
+11 -0
"your opinions really aren't that important"
"your opinions really aren't that important"
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, straw, taiiga, madnes, fineoakstructure, Methadone)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, straw, taiiga, madnes, fineoakstructure, Methadone)
songbirdspectre
+2 -1
"look over there!"
"look over there!"
gormster
+0 -0
"fetch the ball, fetch it... good boy"
"fetch the ball, fetch it... good boy"
jackparsons
+1 -1
"don't be a cock to people"
"don't be a cock to people"
odei
+1 -0
"The children are worried because they never see you at home anymore."
"The children are worried because they never see you at home anymore."
odei
+0 -0
"You forgot to pick up the kids from school yesterday."
"You forgot to pick up the kids from school yesterday."
odei
+3 -0
"It's 11pm! What time do you- you stink of bourbon!"
"It's 11pm! What time do you- you stink of bourbon!"
alzuna
+0 -0
"Shouldn't you be working right now?"
"Shouldn't you be working right now?"
stimpy
+1 -0
"Get back in the kitchen and make me some PIE!"
"Get back in the kitchen and make me some PIE!"
awko
+1 -0
"Get your hand off your face and sit up straight."
"Get your hand off your face and sit up straight."
spicyponyhead
+1 -0
Daddy drinks because you cry.
Daddy drinks because you cry.
taskmaster
+0 -0
Who needs assetbar for this one? When I read it, I imagined someone yelling at Roast Beef.
Who needs assetbar for this one? When I read it, I imagined someone yelling at Roast Beef.
spinynorman
+0 -0
We all know Onstad could rake in thousands of dollars by letting dating site popups advertise on Assetbar. It's only though his favor that we are not tempted by the smiling 19-year old talking on the phone while playfully lying on her bed with massive words CALL ME! underneath.
We all know Onstad could rake in thousands of dollars by letting dating site popups advertise on Assetbar. It's only though his favor that we are not tempted by the smiling 19-year old talking on the phone while playfully lying on her bed with massive words CALL ME! underneath.
pyromancer
+1 -1
No kebab. Ray would totally chunder the kebab.
No kebab. Ray would totally chunder the kebab.
gormster
+0 -0
I think that is the first time I have ever heard anyone use the word 'chunder' in context. This is significant since it is apparently slang native to my homeland.
I think that is the first time I have ever heard anyone use the word 'chunder' in context. This is significant since it is apparently slang native to my homeland.
radishes
+1 -0
His arm models the idea of a real cat's anatomy rather well I think.
His arm models the idea of a real cat's anatomy rather well I think.
dccate
+0 -0
Skinny but still strong enough to rip a man's face off, then turn a cowboy into cowboy sauce .
Skinny but still strong enough to rip a man's face off, then turn a cowboy into cowboy sauce .
spicyponyhead
+1 -0
hissssssssssssssssss
hissssssssssssssssss
padijun
+5 -2
cut to boody marys at noon
cut to boody marys at noon
solobuttons
+5 -1
Eggs B and a Bloody, dogg.
Actually that's how I started my day today.
Eggs B and a Bloody, dogg.
Actually that's how I started my day today.
mrclarinet
+4 -1
I am at a gas station
I am at a gas station
stuart
+0 -0
The best part of waking up.
The best part of waking up.
blastradius
+1 -1
We know what he thought about last night ... but what did he think about today? The dude has a million crazy schemes that he isn't wasting thoughts on anonymous chicks during the daylight hours.
We know what he thought about last night ... but what did he think about today? The dude has a million crazy schemes that he isn't wasting thoughts on anonymous chicks during the daylight hours.
shmuckeles
+10 -0
Ray sleeps with his shades on. What a star.
Ray sleeps with his shades on. What a star.
awko
+3 -0
Sleeps with em on or forgets to take them off before collapsing onto his bed?
Sleeps with em on or forgets to take them off before collapsing onto his bed?
aperson
+12 -0
I had an experience similar to Ray once, when I woke up in the morning. Luckily "THERE WAS NO LADY PE TEACHER THERE" .
I had an experience similar to Ray once, when I woke up in the morning. Luckily "THERE WAS NO LADY PE TEACHER THERE" .
jackparsons
+0 -0
A whole new perspective on Ms. Winslet.
A whole new perspective on Ms. Winslet.
thommy_h
+2 -0
Hmmm...Ray's inner-monologue appears to obey the same laws of punctuation and style as Roast Beef's actual dialogue. Is this significant?
Hmmm...Ray's inner-monologue appears to obey the same laws of punctuation and style as Roast Beef's actual dialogue. Is this significant?
methadone
+1 -0
it's because his head is pounding so hard he can barely hear his thoughts
it's because his head is pounding so hard he can barely hear his thoughts
gage
+25 -0
Ray doesn't remember emailing Téodor a link to a "Chicks with Dicks" website at 4 am.
Ray doesn't remember emailing Téodor a link to a "Chicks with Dicks" website at 4 am.
aperson
+8 -0
The dude is connecting the dots so we dont have to. Applause.
The dude is connecting the dots so we dont have to. Applause.
grayfox
+0 -0
RotaryResurrection is that you?
RotaryResurrection is that you?
behka
+2 -2
Ray can be a simple man at times. he has simple needs: no skinny ass girls with dry hair named Summer. i believe today has met those needs for Ray.
Ray can be a simple man at times. he has simple needs: no skinny ass girls with dry hair named Summer. i believe today has met those needs for Ray.
pitseleh
+1 -1
I think we've all had thoughts similar to Ray's at one time in our lives. God knows I have. Sheesh.
I think we've all had thoughts similar to Ray's at one time in our lives. God knows I have. Sheesh.
grayfox
+33 -0
I woke up one time and thought I was blind. Turned out it was just 5am and I was facing a wall.
I woke up one time and thought I was blind. Turned out it was just 5am and I was facing a wall.
supergeorgina
+0 -1
I woke up twice one morning and thought I was colorblind! It was actually just a gray New England day.
I woke up twice one morning and thought I was colorblind! It was actually just a gray New England day.
honesttom
+1 -0
I once woke up convinced it was the 1950s, and therefore not worth switching the TV on.
I once woke up convinced it was the 1950s, and therefore not worth switching the TV on.
aaron_haynes
+1 -0
I woke up convinced I could send a clone of myself to take a shower and go to work, so that I could continue sleeping.
I woke up convinced I could send a clone of myself to take a shower and go to work, so that I could continue sleeping.
littlefatdog
+3 -0
I once woke up convinced that I was still dreaming, and went through the day doing ridiculous things and fearing no consequences.
I once woke up convinced that I was still dreaming, and went through the day doing ridiculous things and fearing no consequences.
twoply
+12 -0
I once woke up with a spoon in my mouth, a bowl of cereal in my hand, Skinemax on the tv, and my parents screaming at me.
I once woke up with a spoon in my mouth, a bowl of cereal in my hand, Skinemax on the tv, and my parents screaming at me.
geesycreesy
+0 -0
Weird; the same thing happened to me when I was kid. No joke.
Weird; the same thing happened to me when I was kid. No joke.
tha_snazzle
+2 -1
I once woke up and spent the first five minutes of my day trying to turn off the alarm telekinetically.
I once woke up and spent the first five minutes of my day trying to turn off the alarm telekinetically.
porquechutzpah
+2 -0
one time i woke up to the sounds of bela fleck and steve martin playing the banjo. the day was sunny and temperate, and nothing could bring my mood down.
one time i woke up to the sounds of bela fleck and steve martin playing the banjo. the day was sunny and temperate, and nothing could bring my mood down.
le_chien_manquee
+9 -0
one time i had a nosebleed during my drunken sleep and must've been lying on my back and when i woke up, padded into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, i thought my eye had fallen out and i actually screamed. not my proudest moment
one time i had a nosebleed during my drunken sleep and must've been lying on my back and when i woke up, padded into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, i thought my eye had fallen out and i actually screamed. not my proudest moment
gormster
+0 -0
it's all a conspiracy.
it's all a conspiracy.
croi
+3 -0
It's 1 am and I can't stop giggling at this.
(Germanely: My mother does not know that Achewood exists; it follows that she does not know I read it when I'm alone in my room in the wee smalls. My mother is developing the opinion that I am mad.)
It's 1 am and I can't stop giggling at this.
(Germanely: My mother does not know that Achewood exists; it follows that she does not know I read it when I'm alone in my room in the wee smalls. My mother is developing the opinion that I am mad.)
odei
+0 -0
Weird, sometimes I kinda wake up but I'm still dreaming and I think I'm getting ready for college but I'm not so when I do get up I am double exhausted.
Weird, sometimes I kinda wake up but I'm still dreaming and I think I'm getting ready for college but I'm not so when I do get up I am double exhausted.
thisisaspace
+0 -0
i've rarely had a day where i don't feel that way.
i've rarely had a day where i don't feel that way.
ttagxamm
+0 -0
One morning I woke up, put my bathing suit on, sleep-drove to the gym, removed my bathing suit for a pre-swim shower, and walked to the pool bare-ass naked before realizing where the hell I was.
One morning I woke up, put my bathing suit on, sleep-drove to the gym, removed my bathing suit for a pre-swim shower, and walked to the pool bare-ass naked before realizing where the hell I was.
croi
+0 -0
How far was the gym?
How far was the gym?
ttagxamm
+0 -0
Oh, I dunno, four or five miles? I had my wife in the car to prod me back awake.
Caught a lucky break in that the smaller pool off the locker rooms was unlit and empty, and an even luckier break that none of the cleaning staff was in the laundry room I passed on my way to poolside.
Oh, I dunno, four or five miles? I had my wife in the car to prod me back awake.
Caught a lucky break in that the smaller pool off the locker rooms was unlit and empty, and an even luckier break that none of the cleaning staff was in the laundry room I passed on my way to poolside.
apatfan
+4 -2
I love that shish kebabs are only delicious at appropriate times, and are otherwise gross. Also, he can't even allow himself a decent amount of toast. That's how early it is.
I love that shish kebabs are only delicious at appropriate times, and are otherwise gross. Also, he can't even allow himself a decent amount of toast. That's how early it is.
rumblefish
+1 -0
Don't be forcing your notion of what constitutes a "decent" amount of toast on us.
Don't be forcing your notion of what constitutes a "decent" amount of toast on us.
stevepants
+3 -0
oh god I can't wait for the beef installment of this!
oh god I can't wait for the beef installment of this!
thommy_h
+1 -0
I'm holding out for Phillipe's.
I'm holding out for Phillipe's.
stuart
+1 -0
HI! -> YES!
HI! -> YES!
nonentity
+6 -1
I woke up to a chick named Summer once. She was not skinny-ass, either.
Let me just tell you, that is the worst of times.
I woke up to a chick named Summer once. She was not skinny-ass, either.
Let me just tell you, that is the worst of times.
nosearmy
+0 -0
A comment left by nosearmy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, phthoggos, goocifer, joebot, Mastronaut, Nictusempra)
A comment left by nosearmy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, phthoggos, goocifer, joebot, Mastronaut, Nictusempra)
nictusempra
+17 -0
That reference was trying a little too hard to exist, son.
That reference was trying a little too hard to exist, son.
andrew_
+4 -0
Unless of course he's retarded.
Unless of course he's retarded.
wae
+0 -0
A comment left by wae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, MR2Tyler, dj)
A comment left by wae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, MR2Tyler, dj)
straw
+2 -0
I am just so pleased that this is turning into a mini-arc. It is what the doctor suggested.
I am just so pleased that this is turning into a mini-arc. It is what the doctor suggested.
evolume
+0 -0
i went to high school with a skinny ass chick with dry hair named Summer. she had F'd up Jewel-teeth but she was still pretty cute.
i went to high school with a skinny ass chick with dry hair named Summer. she had F'd up Jewel-teeth but she was still pretty cute.
robobogle
+14 -1
John?!? Is that really you?!?
John why do you hate my teeth they are very pretty.
John?!? Is that really you?!?
John why do you hate my teeth they are very pretty.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
all the better to nom you with...
all the better to nom you with...
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Was she a blonde? Was this in California? (not me, but this is apparently a Thing)
Was she a blonde? Was this in California? (not me, but this is apparently a Thing)
paperboy_2000
+9 -0
Some kids hide under their blanket from imaginary monsters. Ray hides under his blanket from imaginary secret shoppers that he may or may not have boned. If I can't see her, she can't spoon me!
Some kids hide under their blanket from imaginary monsters. Ray hides under his blanket from imaginary secret shoppers that he may or may not have boned. If I can't see her, she can't spoon me!
gormster
+4 -0
It is impossible to spoon someone that can see you.
It is impossible to spoon someone that can see you.
jaredwilde
+0 -0
This man speaks truth.
This man speaks truth.
steerpike66
+1 -0
I find that if you get drunk and eat something heavy and kebab-ish late at night, then crash, you wake up craving more meats on sticks.
I find that if you get drunk and eat something heavy and kebab-ish late at night, then crash, you wake up craving more meats on sticks.
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, Zefiel, onion_lightly, Sargasm, Mastronaut)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, Zefiel, onion_lightly, Sargasm, Mastronaut)
onion_lightly
+1 -1
If you're gonna be a dick at least make an effort, dude.
If you're gonna be a dick at least make an effort, dude.
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, ocarinak, Mastronaut, dj)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, ocarinak, Mastronaut, dj)
onion_lightly
+0 -0
Fuck. Checkmate.
Fuck. Checkmate.
dandiep
+0 -0
A comment left by dandiep was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, songbirdspectre, Rawk5tar)
A comment left by dandiep was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, songbirdspectre, Rawk5tar)
projectyl
+5 -1
None before me have echoed an excellent sound effect, and so it the Rule of Acheworld that I must. It is a void to be filled.
PHOOoooooo.
It is the sound of relief, of release, of a head hitting the pillow from which it was jerkily divorced a few seconds earlier. It is today's Best Sound. Come to the podium, PHOOoooooo.
None before me have echoed an excellent sound effect, and so it the Rule of Acheworld that I must. It is a void to be filled.
PHOOoooooo.
It is the sound of relief, of release, of a head hitting the pillow from which it was jerkily divorced a few seconds earlier. It is today's Best Sound. Come to the podium, PHOOoooooo.
plezure
+3 -0
Oh man. That is freaky. I did wake up to a skinny-ass check the other day. Only her name was Frank, not Summer.
Oh man. That is freaky. I did wake up to a skinny-ass check the other day. Only her name was Frank, not Summer.
miku224
+0 -2
Sorry for an unrelated post, but can anyone remind me of the name of the firefox addon that lets you view full tooltips?
Sorry for an unrelated post, but can anyone remind me of the name of the firefox addon that lets you view full tooltips?
schnappm
+2 -0
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1715
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1715
miku224
+0 -0
Much obliged.
Much obliged.
mome
+0 -0
A comment left by mome was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, gormster, Son_Of_Selleck)
A comment left by mome was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, gormster, Son_Of_Selleck)
woodenteeth
+3 -1
I do enjoy the fact that this comic attracts and possibly educates people on how to make a funny comment. That's all we need on here really. Extended funnies. Top work kids.
I do enjoy the fact that this comic attracts and possibly educates people on how to make a funny comment. That's all we need on here really. Extended funnies. Top work kids.
geesycreesy
+2 -0
Ray's control of his anxiety is great: once the danger of post-coitus cuddles is out of sight, he just exhales into sleep.
In that same situation, I usually have to do a shot, then jog outside, and then do two more shots. It's what I call my Eye of Tiger regiment.
Ray's control of his anxiety is great: once the danger of post-coitus cuddles is out of sight, he just exhales into sleep.
In that same situation, I usually have to do a shot, then jog outside, and then do two more shots. It's what I call my Eye of Tiger regiment.
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
I hope this becomes a series like the flowcharts.
I hope this becomes a series like the flowcharts.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Dang I am eagerly awaiting the next strip. I suppose Philippe is doing some last-minute fact checking about the speed of industrial bologna slicers or some such.
Anyone else worried about Rod Huggins after Nice Pete's blog entry? Pete may be one "caramel thighs" from a little one-on-one with Rod.
Dang I am eagerly awaiting the next strip. I suppose Philippe is doing some last-minute fact checking about the speed of industrial bologna slicers or some such.
Anyone else worried about Rod Huggins after Nice Pete's blog entry? Pete may be one "caramel thighs" from a little one-on-one with Rod.
miku224
+0 -0
I too am rather concerned for Rod. But then, I'm rather concerned for everyone that Nice Pete encounters. He's a dangerous dude.
I too am rather concerned for Rod. But then, I'm rather concerned for everyone that Nice Pete encounters. He's a dangerous dude.
tim88
+0 -0
For once, Ray is happy to still be hella klondike.
For once, Ray is happy to still be hella klondike.
blastradius
+1 -0
Apparently lunch in California is around 4PM. Or later. When is the new strip going up?
Apparently lunch in California is around 4PM. Or later. When is the new strip going up?
zefiel
+1 -0
Chris is such a tease.
/Not Retardo.
Chris is such a tease.
/Not Retardo.
songbirdspectre
+0 -1
i want my imaginary money back. juuuuuust kidding.
i want my imaginary money back. juuuuuust kidding.
dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately
+1 -1
today's strip went up on time, it just happens to be exactly the same as yesterday's
today's strip went up on time, it just happens to be exactly the same as yesterday's
sargasm
+4 -0
"California Lunchtime" is when you do a heavy shift of drinking on Friday night and get really hungry at like 3 in the morning. But that's fine, 'cause that's okay.
"California Lunchtime" is when you do a heavy shift of drinking on Friday night and get really hungry at like 3 in the morning. But that's fine, 'cause that's okay.
brentbrentbrent
+1 -0
"California Lunchtime" is Monday.
"California Lunchtime" is Monday.
biff
+0 -0
We sit and we wait
We try so hard not to cry
Please send a new strip
We sit and we wait
We try so hard not to cry
Please send a new strip
dasilodavi
+0 -1
POST-IT!!
POST-IT!!
mjfitzge
+0 -0
damn, i would love to have ray's problems....
damn, i would love to have ray's problems....
thatcrazycommie
+0 -0
I would like to wake up next to Summer Glau, even if her hair was dry that day.
I would like to wake up next to Summer Glau, even if her hair was dry that day.
paco
+0 -0
I have to wake up at 6:00 every weekday . . .
I have to wake up at 6:00 every weekday . . .
thaes
+0 -0
I would love to wake up next to a skinny-ass chick with dry hair. Those are my favorite kind of chicks!
I would love to wake up next to a skinny-ass chick with dry hair. Those are my favorite kind of chicks!
norsef
+0 -0
Oh Pyro you kinky so and so.
Oh Pyro you kinky so and so.
bpmead
+0 -0
No one's said it?
Ray sleeps in his glasses.
No one's said it?
Ray sleeps in his glasses.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Several people have said it.
Several people have said it.
does ray smuckles seriously only sleep on a twin? That's a bit of a let down.
Ray has many beds.
I always sort of just assumed he'd have a size beyond king. A size simply named "Ray"
Many beds for many occasions.
A comment left by featurelessvoid was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nbgreene, ishuta, Thorfinn, nicklon)
The fact that I actually know a skinny-ass, dry-haired girl named Summer is terrifying and hilarious.
is she a "secret shopper" for a grocery store analysis chain?
That is something she would definitely do...also smoking the wrong end of a cigarette.
"I assume you light the color-coded end, right?"
i'm sure i've mentioned this before but, my firm belief is that he sleeps on a twin so that if there is a hotty next to him, she has to get out or get busy...
What a coincidence this is my strategy as well.
This is my strategy also. It has nothing to do with the fact that the indented space in my tiny room only allows for a twin bed, or that I cannot afford a larger one.
I'm 6'2" and I sleep on a full, even at a near-anorexic level I take up more than a twin bed by myself.
My strategy is that if you have enough space for yourself and a hottie, you need more hotties, not less space.
I like your style! Chubbie for you good sir!
I bought a king-sized bed, so there'd be room for 2 other people to sleep over. So far, this has worked well.
Although we only ever see Ray wake up when he is hungover, I like to think he only sleeps in that bed when he's drunk. It's a small, bare bed in a small bare, spare bedroom that Beef has coined 'Wallow World".