rolotonybrowntown
+22 -0
Apparently a commodore is when you give birth to Little Nephew
Apparently a commodore is when you give birth to Little Nephew
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
autrepoupee
+43 -1
my god fooker, I'LL blow you if it gets you to shut up for five seconds.
my god fooker, I'LL blow you if it gets you to shut up for five seconds.
tellumo
+1 -1
The real question is whether you would give him a commodore in exchange for his silence, and if so, how much silence your price would be.
The real question is whether you would give him a commodore in exchange for his silence, and if so, how much silence your price would be.
daidai
+5 -0
I think the real question here is whether a porygon 2 would be an adept commodore-supplier, or a terrifyingly poor one.
I think the real question here is whether a porygon 2 would be an adept commodore-supplier, or a terrifyingly poor one.
theguitarhero
+4 -0
Look at the nose.
Look at the nose.
saulbellow
+0 -0
ha ha ha cartoons!
ha ha ha cartoons!
tragicone
+0 -0
Man, if all one has to do to get some head is be annoying, call me carrot top.
Man, if all one has to do to get some head is be annoying, call me carrot top.
sje46
+0 -0
Third time you mentioned that.
Bragger.
Third time you mentioned that.
Bragger.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Okay Fooker I acknowledge you have a more awesome sex life than me.
Please stop now.
Okay Fooker I acknowledge you have a more awesome sex life than me.
Please stop now.
thegoblins
+6 -0
braggart
braggart
sje46
+0 -1
I almost said this, but I did not want to seem pretentious.
I almost said this, but I did not want to seem pretentious.
theguitarhero
+2 -0
Man, thegoblins, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.
Man, thegoblins, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I'm sorry. I'm a goddamn hidalgo.
I'm sorry. I'm a goddamn hidalgo.
pravda
+7 -0
Enjoy the first lame I have ever given. If anyone said the word "awkhead" to me in real life I would immediately stop talking to them forever.
Enjoy the first lame I have ever given. If anyone said the word "awkhead" to me in real life I would immediately stop talking to them forever.
rckd
+38 -1
Hay guyz did i tell u about the time i had sex
Hay guyz did i tell u about the time i had sex
laserblade
+3 -1
no
wutz it liek
no
wutz it liek
featurelessvoid
+29 -0
Awkward. And he's not allowed within 100 yards of that bus stop any more.
Awkward. And he's not allowed within 100 yards of that bus stop any more.
zebra
+0 -1
He was gentle.
He was gentle.
terebikun
+0 -0
aw poor virgin putin
aw poor virgin putin
laserblade
+4 -0
The condition is indeed tragic but quite temporary.
The condition is indeed tragic but quite temporary.
chuvak
+0 -0
Side effects include kissing boys' bellies and creating gritting your jaw.
Side effects include kissing boys' bellies and creating gritting your jaw.
chuvak
+1 -0
creating gritting your jaw? shiiiiit son.
creating gritting your jaw? shiiiiit son.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
You're doing this self-consciously now, I get it. I kind of like it, but I think you need to be a little more subtle in working it into at least one comment on every strip. Maybe even do a slow-release thing where you ask a question in a way that sets you up to break out the airport story after a long thread of serious responses. If you succeed at this, you will become yet another assetbar fixture.
You're doing this self-consciously now, I get it. I kind of like it, but I think you need to be a little more subtle in working it into at least one comment on every strip. Maybe even do a slow-release thing where you ask a question in a way that sets you up to break out the airport story after a long thread of serious responses. If you succeed at this, you will become yet another assetbar fixture.
fineoakstructure
+12 -0
I got a Slow Release from an awkward chick in an airport once. She introduced me to all-consuming shame.
I got a Slow Release from an awkward chick in an airport once. She introduced me to all-consuming shame.
daidai
+3 -0
And my axe
And my axe
theguitarhero
+1 -0
And the news from the north.
And the news from the north.
whiteturtle
+2 -0
how do you feel about words that slant-rhyme with clits
how do you feel about words that slant-rhyme with clits
theguitarhero
+1 -0
I think they are the...best way to rhyme.
I think they are the...best way to rhyme.
speccer
+1 -0
LOVE THEM
LOVE THEM
clever-nickname
+0 -0
I prefer assonance.
I prefer assonance.
mattylite
+0 -0
My girlfriend tried to pull some Assonance on me once. Once.
My girlfriend tried to pull some Assonance on me once. Once.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm sure you put her in her place with alacrity!
Domestic violence. It's the only language they understand.
I'm sure you put her in her place with alacrity!
Domestic violence. It's the only language they understand.
keir
+3 -0
Domestic violence: Australia says NO
Domestic violence: Australia says NO
farqussus
+0 -0
If only we did. If only we did.
If only we did. If only we did.
gormster
+0 -0
Only Australians will chubby this, but I am one of them.
Only Australians will chubby this, but I am one of them.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have quite a bit of evidence that we often don't.
I have quite a bit of evidence that we often don't.
theguitarhero
+4 -0
You know, I introduced my girlfriend to Achewood and both of us are just SHITTY at giving head.
I think I should be telling this story fooker.
I think you made this up.
You know, I introduced my girlfriend to Achewood and both of us are just SHITTY at giving head.
I think I should be telling this story fooker.
I think you made this up.
hedonismbot
+4 -2
Aw, your girl isn't THAT bad. Just needs to relax her jaw more
Aw, your girl isn't THAT bad. Just needs to relax her jaw more
oneshotnothing
+0 -0
is little nephew still dead?
is little nephew still dead?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No.
No.
gormster
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
NO!
NO!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
( YES! )
( YES! )
whiteturtle
+0 -0
So I heard that Englebert Humperdink died today
So I heard that Englebert Humperdink died today
ntopp
+1 -1
Dinglebert Wingledank?
Dinglebert Wingledank?
ntopp
+3 -0
(No! No! Go back one!)
(No! No! Go back one!)
tekende
+5 -0
Slut Bunwalla?
Slut Bunwalla?
blueloggy
+0 -0
I wanted to chubby this entire thread, but couldn't. I decided to give the chub to Slut Bunwalla.
I wanted to chubby this entire thread, but couldn't. I decided to give the chub to Slut Bunwalla.
tekende
+0 -0
It's the name that makes me laugh the hardest due to its sheer lunacy.
It's the name that makes me laugh the hardest due to its sheer lunacy.
valrus
+0 -0
Ha! It's not true!
Ha! It's not true!
valrus
+0 -0
No, it is true.
No, it is true.
paperfishies
+1 -0
No, I heard he had a cold. Or was it a tan.
No, I heard he had a cold. Or was it a tan.
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
THAT MAN HAD A COLD TAN.
THAT MAN HAD A COLD TAN.
achilleselbow
+7 -0
I never want to see Ray in this position again, even in silhouette.
I never want to see Ray in this position again, even in silhouette.
daidai
+3 -0
I have a feeling the next strip will disappoint you.
it will not disappoint Ray
I have a feeling the next strip will disappoint you.
it will not disappoint Ray
sheriff_mittens
+6 -0
I'd better not be the only one who actually googled "commodore sex act".
I'd better not be the only one who actually googled "commodore sex act".
smilebuddha
+11 -1
Well, if you imagine a certain orifice as a tunnel, and Tina as the conductor...
HONK! HONK! HOOOOOOOOONK! THE NEW YORK CENTRAL IS ON TIME!
Well, if you imagine a certain orifice as a tunnel, and Tina as the conductor...
HONK! HONK! HOOOOOOOOONK! THE NEW YORK CENTRAL IS ON TIME!
smilebuddha
+3 -0
You know, if you click on and use the slider at the bottom of the picture really fast, back and forth a couple of times, it looks like Tina's 'knocking but she can't get in . Amiright? Guys?
You know, if you click on and use the slider at the bottom of the picture really fast, back and forth a couple of times, it looks like Tina's 'knocking but she can't get in . Amiright? Guys?
cromar
+0 -0
Nyes.
Nyes.
rowboat
+4 -0
That's the best manual computer trick that I've been easily convinced into trying since the one Ray showed me with the motorcycle.
That's the best manual computer trick that I've been easily convinced into trying since the one Ray showed me with the motorcycle.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
For the future folks: The above picture grid used to show a locomotive of the New York Central Line that was nicknamed "The Commodore Vanderbilt". Hence the "Central is on Time" joke. Sorry to have to explain the joke.
For the future folks: The above picture grid used to show a locomotive of the New York Central Line that was nicknamed "The Commodore Vanderbilt". Hence the "Central is on Time" joke. Sorry to have to explain the joke.
the_dude
+45 -0
oozienelson
+0 -0
hilarious!
hilarious!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
nonsense!
nonsense!
sje46
+2 -1
hugs!
hugs!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
SUSPENSE!
SUSPENSE!
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Pence?
Pence?
pogo
+0 -0
It so meta for Onstadto be manipulating his audience and Googgle, creating a search for which his strip is the top result, spiking the query list, and creatinga minot ripple in the Web. Wonderful work.
It so meta for Onstadto be manipulating his audience and Googgle, creating a search for which his strip is the top result, spiking the query list, and creatinga minot ripple in the Web. Wonderful work.
aperson
+0 -0
I will go one better, and send all google searches for "complactent memmetts" to this strip. Mwahahahaha...
I will go one better, and send all google searches for "complactent memmetts" to this strip. Mwahahahaha...
fineoakstructure
+5 -0
And here we have a Minot Ripple blanc '72; it's peaking right now and comes highly recommended.
And here we have a Minot Ripple blanc '72; it's peaking right now and comes highly recommended.
hamscout
+1 -0
...your flaming hog balls, sir!
Ist Ihre Tochter achtzehn bitte?
...your flaming hog balls, sir!
Ist Ihre Tochter achtzehn bitte?
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Is your heart filled with pain?
Will you come back again?
Shop at Macy's
And love me
Tonight
I still love that movie. Oh man, what if Tina's got the Anal Intruder?
Is your heart filled with pain?
Will you come back again?
Shop at Macy's
And love me
Tonight
I still love that movie. Oh man, what if Tina's got the Anal Intruder?
hamscout
+5 -0
...then Ray better pray they have 120V current at that hotel...
...then Ray better pray they have 120V current at that hotel...
i_love_kate
+3 -0
It would be hilarious to take that to a bar brawl.
It would be hilarious to take that to a bar brawl.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
Mean Gene Oakerlund?
Mean Gene Oakerlund?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i wonder what the trend would look like in other countries...
i wonder what the trend would look like in other countries...
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i have answered my own question.
apparently, the only other curious population was canada.
i have answered my own question.
apparently, the only other curious population was canada.
keir
+14 -0
Is Tina rocking Ray's can? Is that how it is?
Is Tina rocking Ray's can? Is that how it is?
chloraloner
+6 -0
it's an act named after a navy rank. So I'd assume so.
I'd hate to be "petty officered".
it's an act named after a navy rank. So I'd assume so.
I'd hate to be "petty officered".
awko
+12 -0
Seaman! That's not how you scrub the poop deck. On your knees and put your back into it!
Seaman! That's not how you scrub the poop deck. On your knees and put your back into it!
hamscout
+58 -0
I finally looked up the history of the rank of Commodore, and have found some shocking details...
It seems that in the US Navy and Coast Guard, 'Commodore' was nearly interchangeable with 'Rear Admiral' since the 1980s.
More interestingly, the rank insignia contains a visual clue...
I finally looked up the history of the rank of Commodore, and have found some shocking details...
It seems that in the US Navy and Coast Guard, 'Commodore' was nearly interchangeable with 'Rear Admiral' since the 1980s.
More interestingly, the rank insignia contains a visual clue...
sje46
+0 -0
Shocking!
Shocking!
cromar
+0 -0
Titillating!
Titillating!
saulbellow
+0 -0
Arbitrating!
Arbitrating!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Circumventing!
Circumventing!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Irritating!
Irritating!
achilleselbow
+0 -1
Your avatar is the Worst Thing.
Your avatar is the Worst Thing.
farqussus
+0 -0
until the next one
until the next one
whiteturtle
+1 -0
the new one is so, so much more worst.
the new one is so, so much more worst.
hamscout
+0 -0
Unlike so many other avataricon-specific comments,
Whiteturtle's comment will more than likely be future-proof.
*chubb*
Unlike so many other avataricon-specific comments,
Whiteturtle's comment will more than likely be future-proof.
*chubb*
lechatbotte
+0 -1
C-c-c-combo breakers!~
C-c-c-combo breakers!~
speccer
+0 -0
Thank you. So much.
Thank you. So much.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
?
?
farqussus
+0 -0
Is that a stoat in boots?
Is that a stoat in boots?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
What's a stoat?
What's a stoat?
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
As long as we don't have to see the stoat's oat tote, I'm happy.
As long as we don't have to see the stoat's oat tote, I'm happy.
farqussus
+2 -0
Is it a stoat or a weasel? Who can tell?
Is it a stoat or a weasel? Who can tell?
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Cromulating!
Cromulating!
i_love_kate
+3 -0
Nice marmot!
Nice marmot!
pogo
+4 -0
So now we're supposed to Google "rear admiral sex act"?
So now we're supposed to Google "rear admiral sex act"?
pettytyrant
+0 -0
There is nothing I don't like about this comment.
There is nothing I don't like about this comment.
pravda
+10 -1
Let alone "rear admiraled".
MORE LIKE ADMI-RAILED RITE YOU GUYS?
Let alone "rear admiraled".
MORE LIKE ADMI-RAILED RITE YOU GUYS?
krispykorn
+48 -0
HEY-O!
HEY-O!
gmm
+8 -0
Comment/Avatar synergy at it's finest
Comment/Avatar synergy at it's finest
laserblade
+4 -0
Da. It does not get more finer.
Da. It does not get more finer.
sje46
+2 -0
Ummm . .. . ..
Look at me! I'm Roast Beef, and I'm falling, because I just died, and look! A chalkboard which says sje46 is a woman!
Ummm . .. . ..
Look at me! I'm Roast Beef, and I'm falling, because I just died, and look! A chalkboard which says sje46 is a woman!
speccer
+0 -0
Yeah, I never got your avatar. I gave up trying to understand it after about 5 loops.
Yeah, I never got your avatar. I gave up trying to understand it after about 5 loops.
sje46
+0 -0
Try to look at it from an absurdist point of view.
Try to look at it from an absurdist point of view.
speccer
+0 -0
The problem isn't the concept, the problem is the resolution and speed.
The problem isn't the concept, the problem is the resolution and speed.
sje46
+0 -0
True. I didn't make it though, and I don't even know how to do one of these. If I did, I would make it a little smoother.
True. I didn't make it though, and I don't even know how to do one of these. If I did, I would make it a little smoother.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man i turn my back for a little bit and what the crap, assetbar philippe...
man i turn my back for a little bit and what the crap, assetbar philippe...
sje46
+0 -0
I'm sorry! You did a good job!
Did I say thanks by the way?
*hug*
I'm sorry! You did a good job!
Did I say thanks by the way?
*hug*
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it is all good, you. *noogies*
now run along and play.
oh to be so carefree....
it is all good, you. *noogies*
now run along and play.
oh to be so carefree....
spectre
+1 -1
Absurdists DON'T HAVE a point of view. That is the point. The point of being an absurdist. The absurd point. "Nitwit Oddment Blubber Tweak"
Absurdists DON'T HAVE a point of view. That is the point. The point of being an absurdist. The absurd point. "Nitwit Oddment Blubber Tweak"
sje46
+0 -0
That's the point!
You win . . . .a hug!
That's the point!
You win . . . .a hug!
crumpetsandtea
+2 -0
IM A CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB
just kidding, its actually my feet.
IM A CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB
just kidding, its actually my feet.
gormster
+0 -0
It's like one of those vase/lesbian things.
It's like one of those vase/lesbian things.
ntopp
+0 -0
Sort of a Trojan Vase? But with lesbians instead of soldiers?
Come to think of it, you wouldn't really need the vase...
Sort of a Trojan Vase? But with lesbians instead of soldiers?
Come to think of it, you wouldn't really need the vase...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Or lesbians.
Or lesbians.
farqussus
+1 -0
Why don't you go back to restarting the Cold War
Why don't you go back to restarting the Cold War
anomalous3
+7 -0
In russia, president assasinates YOU!
In russia, president assasinates YOU!
pogo
+0 -1
Nice, I just got this one.
Nice, I just got this one.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Because, man! Wars are like ice-cream: they're never as good when their re-frozen.
Because, man! Wars are like ice-cream: they're never as good when their re-frozen.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
(Is ice cream hyphenated? No, I don't think so.)
(Is ice cream hyphenated? No, I don't think so.)
tekende
+0 -0
No, but it's "they're", not "their".
No, but it's "they're", not "their".
fineoakstructure
+6 -1
I new some one were gonna post that. Whats funny is that I was talkin to a freind earlier today about how when Im typing fast I always screw those up, using the possesive they're and contracted there all wrong even through I no the difference I just loose focus.
Its to easy too screw up lol.
I new some one were gonna post that. Whats funny is that I was talkin to a freind earlier today about how when Im typing fast I always screw those up, using the possesive they're and contracted there all wrong even through I no the difference I just loose focus.
Its to easy too screw up lol.
terebikun
+5 -0
I'll be honest, I spit up a little blood after reading this.
I'll be honest, I spit up a little blood after reading this.
keir
+0 -0
Now you have to keep your avatar forever, lest your 43 chubbies don't make sense
Now you have to keep your avatar forever, lest your 43 chubbies don't make sense
belgand
+1 -0
The Simpsons has correctly established the "dreaded Rear Admiral" as a painful juvenile act of bullying along the lines of the Wet Willie and the Purple Nurple. It is not yet a sex act.
The Simpsons has correctly established the "dreaded Rear Admiral" as a painful juvenile act of bullying along the lines of the Wet Willie and the Purple Nurple. It is not yet a sex act.
drskradley
+0 -0
WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S DREADED
WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S DREADED
morypcaina
+0 -1
In Soviet Russia, Commodore enters you!
(and here apparently)
In Soviet Russia, Commodore enters you!
(and here apparently)
llobstrosity
+0 -0
I was a petty officer. :(
I was a petty officer. :(
kickstart
+0 -0
in the Heartbreaker Navy? (Aquatic counterpart to the KISS Army)
in the Heartbreaker Navy? (Aquatic counterpart to the KISS Army)
llobstrosity
+0 -0
Naw, the US Navy.
Naw, the US Navy.
sagoon
+0 -0
It's different.
It's different.
hamscout
+1 -0
sagoon, I can't tell if that's you talking, or your snuggly Empire Voice Doughnut
sagoon, I can't tell if that's you talking, or your snuggly Empire Voice Doughnut
actualtaunt
+1 -0
It says that I gave this comment a chubby. In reality, this comment gave me a chubby.
It says that I gave this comment a chubby. In reality, this comment gave me a chubby.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Sant, gladi8orrex, annachka)
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Sant, gladi8orrex, annachka)
the_dude
+0 -2
bear penis
bear penis
jonmw
+0 -0
rock hard bear penis
rock hard bear penis
plummet
+4 -0
pear benis
pear benis
ethelthefrog
+1 -0
pear pimples for hairy fishnuts?
pear pimples for hairy fishnuts?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Is that from Opus?
Is that from Opus?
kickstart
+1 -0
Just cough up some dough, Mac!
Just cough up some dough, Mac!
anomalous3
+0 -0
bear grylls?
bear grylls?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Bear Grylls' penis?
Bear Grylls' penis?
plummet
+0 -0
bear grylls vs bear penis
WHO WINS
bear grylls vs bear penis
WHO WINS
mortshire
+0 -0
In a survival situation, Bear Grylls would first rip the living member off the bear and devour it for nutriment before quickly butchering the rest of the screaming animal into a bloody, ursine sleeping bag. This is what they teach you in the British Territorial Army.
In a survival situation, Bear Grylls would first rip the living member off the bear and devour it for nutriment before quickly butchering the rest of the screaming animal into a bloody, ursine sleeping bag. This is what they teach you in the British Territorial Army.
igotnostrings
+6 -0
In a survival situation, Bear Grylls would go back to his hotel room and curl up in a ball on the king-sized bed to order room service oatmeal and watch his stories, but only after making his camera crew scan the room with one of those ultraviolet dirt-detection lights. Les Stroud, on the other hand, could take on a bear penis and win any day. He'd probably eat it raw afterwards.
In a survival situation, Bear Grylls would go back to his hotel room and curl up in a ball on the king-sized bed to order room service oatmeal and watch his stories, but only after making his camera crew scan the room with one of those ultraviolet dirt-detection lights. Les Stroud, on the other hand, could take on a bear penis and win any day. He'd probably eat it raw afterwards.
reverendtmac
+3 -0
Les wouldn't even make a face while eating it, either. He'd just say "Well, I've had worse", pack up his 40 pounds of camera gear, and keep walking towards civilization. We'd have to sit there and wonder what else he's eaten that'd be worse than bear penis.
Les wouldn't even make a face while eating it, either. He'd just say "Well, I've had worse", pack up his 40 pounds of camera gear, and keep walking towards civilization. We'd have to sit there and wonder what else he's eaten that'd be worse than bear penis.
telescreen
+0 -0
Les Stroud has literally saved me from hypothermia before. Not personally, but thats alright cuz I've always imagined he smelled bad.
Les Stroud has literally saved me from hypothermia before. Not personally, but thats alright cuz I've always imagined he smelled bad.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Bear Penis?
It's a bare bear penis at that!
Bear Penis?
It's a bare bear penis at that!
perilon
+1 -0
Show I want to see: Man vs. the Man from "Man vs. Wild"
Show I want to see: Man vs. the Man from "Man vs. Wild"
actualtaunt
+3 -0
As I teach my high schoolers about literary conflict, this will be added to the list--
"Afternoon, kids! Today we're talking plot analysis. First, polarities and conflicts. The basic types, according to your notes, are
- man v. man (other humans)
- man v. nature (environmental antagonist)
- man v. self (internal conflict)
- man v. man from man vs. wild (Tv entities fighting each other)
- AIU v. Assetbar (buggery)
As I teach my high schoolers about literary conflict, this will be added to the list--
"Afternoon, kids! Today we're talking plot analysis. First, polarities and conflicts. The basic types, according to your notes, are
- man v. man (other humans)
- man v. nature (environmental antagonist)
- man v. self (internal conflict)
- man v. man from man vs. wild (Tv entities fighting each other)
- AIU v. Assetbar (buggery)
drskradley
+0 -0
Another high school teacher!
You left out:
- man v. machine (feelings of the self and the progress of technology)
Perhaps that's not that common. I'm actually not a very good teacher.
Another high school teacher!
You left out:
- man v. machine (feelings of the self and the progress of technology)
Perhaps that's not that common. I'm actually not a very good teacher.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Isn't that covered under the last one?
Isn't that covered under the last one?
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Actually, in point of fact, I'm a college student right now; I still have my training wheels.
Actually, in point of fact, I'm a college student right now; I still have my training wheels.
drskradley
+0 -0
I thought 20 was a bit young to be a fully-fledged pedagogue. How many years of your undergrad left? I'm guessing you're doing a Teaching undergrad.
I thought 20 was a bit young to be a fully-fledged pedagogue. How many years of your undergrad left? I'm guessing you're doing a Teaching undergrad.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
I am but a lowly third year. Up to two years left (depending on how long my theatre degree takes) and then on to get at least my masters. Probably my doctorate, because I believe firmly in becoming un-hirable.
I am but a lowly third year. Up to two years left (depending on how long my theatre degree takes) and then on to get at least my masters. Probably my doctorate, because I believe firmly in becoming un-hirable.
tekende
+3 -0
Also, man v. The Man (political activism)
Also, man v. The Man (political activism)
fineoakstructure
+4 -0
Man vs. Astroman?
Man vs. Astroman?
speccer
+0 -0
Megaman vs. Astroman?
Megaman vs. Astroman?
catgrl131
+0 -0
Superman vs. Batman!
Superman vs. Batman!
heath
+0 -0
Jordan Vs. Bird!
Jordan Vs. Bird!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Us vs. Them!
Us vs. Them!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
over and over again?
over and over again?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Whatever and Ever Amen?
Whatever and Ever Amen?
hamscout
+0 -0
Yeah, that Eugene Levy/Sam Jackson movie totally needs a takedown!
Yeah, that Eugene Levy/Sam Jackson movie totally needs a takedown!
tekende
+0 -0
what
what
sje46
+0 -0
That was a pretty good movie, man.
That was a pretty good movie, man.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Man v. Superman (GB Shaw masturbating for four acts)
Man v. Superman (GB Shaw masturbating for four acts)
tripleg
+0 -0
i am stealing this curriculum and wowing my master teacher with it
i am stealing this curriculum and wowing my master teacher with it
belgand
+1 -0
I thought the Territorial Army only taught buggery and furtive masturbation (likely while thinking about future buggery and/or reflecting positively on past buggery of note). That and interesting accents.
I thought the Territorial Army only taught buggery and furtive masturbation (likely while thinking about future buggery and/or reflecting positively on past buggery of note). That and interesting accents.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
"So... you've dug your foxhole, and you've pitched your tent, right? They've discovered your camp, and you're lying there, and they've caught you with your trousers down, and they've all entered your hole without you knowing."
"So... you've dug your foxhole, and you've pitched your tent, right? They've discovered your camp, and you're lying there, and they've caught you with your trousers down, and they've all entered your hole without you knowing."
aperson
+0 -0
Don't go rakin' over old graves.
Don't go rakin' over old graves.
mattylite
+6 -0
speccer
+0 -0
Is... is that Safari you're browsing in?
Is... is that Safari you're browsing in?
sje46
+0 -0
Eww.
Eww.
mattylite
+1 -0
Oh lord no, that site for some reason apparently wants to look like the design was written by Jeff Goldblum.
Oh lord no, that site for some reason apparently wants to look like the design was written by Jeff Goldblum.
hamscout
+1 -0
I apologize for the quality of this image, but this snapshot was taken with a "Goldblum Special"...
I apologize for the quality of this image, but this snapshot was taken with a "Goldblum Special"...
hamscout
+1 -0
awww fuckshitcockpiss!
I cannot, however, blame Goldblum or AIDS for my poor typing skills.
*basically*
awww fuckshitcockpiss!
I cannot, however, blame Goldblum or AIDS for my poor typing skills.
*basically*
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
When I first read your post, I thought you had written " fuckshitopolis ".
When I first read your post, I thought you had written " fuckshitopolis ".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That was Fritz Lang's lesser known sequel.
That was Fritz Lang's lesser known sequel.
hamscout
+6 -0
What did Shitopolis ever do for us, anyway?
What did Shitopolis ever do for us, anyway?
mattylite
+4 -0
laserblade
+0 -0
Heh. The clothed search result is sixty-nine OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND!
Heh. The clothed search result is sixty-nine OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND!
jonno
+0 -0
I think you mean "about six hundred and ninety-nine thousand".
I think you mean "about six hundred and ninety-nine thousand".
sje46
+0 -0
Yes, this is the proper way to express this amount.
Yes, this is the proper way to express this amount.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Wh..why would there be so many results for bear penis !?
Wh..why would there be so many results for bear penis !?
daidai
+0 -0
With all of the furry discussion in the past few days, I would have never expected this question.
With all of the furry discussion in the past few days, I would have never expected this question.
unclemikey
+0 -0
Lord knows.
Lord knows.
gormster
+1 -0
[url=https://www.whichisgayer.com/compare.html?w1=bear grylls&w2=bear penis]BBcode fail[/url].
[url=https://www.whichisgayer.com/compare.html?w1=bear grylls&w2=bear penis]BBcode fail[/url].
gormster
+1 -0
FUCK
FUCK
gormster
+0 -0
I'll give you a hint: look up "bear" in urbandictionary.
I'll give you a hint: look up "bear" in urbandictionary.
mortshire
+0 -0
Bear rape? don'tworryit'sfromtheonion.
Bear rape? don'tworryit'sfromtheonion.
mirzabah
+0 -0
I have just added the phrase "full quart of putrid bear semen" to my catalog of terminal grade insults.
I have just added the phrase "full quart of putrid bear semen" to my catalog of terminal grade insults.
whiteturtle
+2 -0
I just added it to my shopping list
I just added it to my shopping list
hamscout
+1 -0
Oh my... So you have tried Budweiser?
Oh my... So you have tried Budweiser?
tekende
+0 -0
HUGE slam on Budweiser from out of nowhere.
HUGE slam on Budweiser from out of nowhere.
odei
+0 -0
Not really man, have you tried Budweiser?
Not really man, have you tried Budweiser?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think the more interesting question is "have you tried putrid bear semen?"
I think the more interesting question is "have you tried putrid bear semen?"
hedonismbot
+0 -0
(Raises hand in shame, then gladly swigs a long draw of Bud)
(Raises hand in shame, then gladly swigs a long draw of Bud)
tekende
+0 -0
Oh, no question, it's shitty beer. In fact, I originally typed "huge slam on shitty beer" but changed my mind.
Oh, no question, it's shitty beer. In fact, I originally typed "huge slam on shitty beer" but changed my mind.
dejavroom
+0 -0
bear with my penis.
bear with my penis.
actualtaunt
+1 -0
bare penis
bare penis
pox
+0 -0
Barely a penis.
Barely a penis.
pogo
+0 -1
Soupy Sales? How could a 17-year-old know about him?
Soupy Sales? How could a 17-year-old know about him?
tipist
+1 -0
Do you just go out of your way to remind everyone about how you are the grandfather of assetbar?
Do you just go out of your way to remind everyone about how you are the grandfather of assetbar?
tipist
+0 -0
Also, I do not mean this question to be taken insultingly, as it is in jest. It seems as though you have been posting a lot of comments that remind people of your age recently.
Also, I do not mean this question to be taken insultingly, as it is in jest. It seems as though you have been posting a lot of comments that remind people of your age recently.
hamscout
+0 -0
Don't piss him off, tipist--pogo might come down off the porch, box your ears, and give you a lickin' with his cane!
Don't piss him off, tipist--pogo might come down off the porch, box your ears, and give you a lickin' with his cane!
sje46
+0 -0
All ranting about how in his day, five cents would buy you two loaves of bread, a model T and a free tour in Austria-Hungary.
All ranting about how in his day, five cents would buy you two loaves of bread, a model T and a free tour in Austria-Hungary.
tekende
+0 -0
If the tour is free, it wouldn't have anything to do with the five cents though.
If the tour is free, it wouldn't have anything to do with the five cents though.
sje46
+0 -0
Well, it's like if you pay a certain amount for 8 batteries, and they give you two free, but they are still in the package.
Also, a "tour" is referencing a year of duty in WWI. But stupid me, that's not how they did things back then.
So maybe you would just get drafted anyway?
Well, it's like if you pay a certain amount for 8 batteries, and they give you two free, but they are still in the package.
Also, a "tour" is referencing a year of duty in WWI. But stupid me, that's not how they did things back then.
So maybe you would just get drafted anyway?
speccer
+0 -1
Back then I think it was called Prussia.
Back then I think it was called Prussia.
aperson
+0 -0
That's worse than getting DFW and Burt mixed up.
That's worse than getting DFW and Burt mixed up.
echidnaboy
+4 -0
Nah, in Pogo's day it was Pangaea.
Nah, in Pogo's day it was Pangaea.
sje46
+0 -1
No. What? That's way too old.
Do you think he's millions of years old?
No. What? That's way too old.
Do you think he's millions of years old?
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
Do you think that it is bad to think that Pogo is millions of years old? Or do you agree that it is okay?
Do you think that it is bad to think that Pogo is millions of years old? Or do you agree that it is okay?
sje46
+0 -1
It is bad because the world is only like, twenty thousand years old. I know this because the Bible told me this. And I know the Bible is true because God wrote it.
Wait. A million is more than a thousand, right?
It is bad because the world is only like, twenty thousand years old. I know this because the Bible told me this. And I know the Bible is true because God wrote it.
Wait. A million is more than a thousand, right?
stereo
+0 -0
The earth was created in 4004 B.C. for various reasons, so it is now 6011 to 6040 years old (year zero is really buggered up).
The earth was created in 4004 B.C. for various reasons, so it is now 6011 to 6040 years old (year zero is really buggered up).
sje46
+0 -0
So the maximum age for Pogo is 6040 years old!
So the maximum age for Pogo is 6040 years old!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Pogo! What is God like? Is he a bit of a douche, as that is what I have always suspected.
Pogo! What is God like? Is he a bit of a douche, as that is what I have always suspected.
pogo
+0 -0
He has become less heavy-handed since he had a son, but don't mess with him unless you want to have fire and brimstone on your ass.
He has become less heavy-handed since he had a son, but don't mess with him unless you want to have fire and brimstone on your ass.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm more of a fan for his hippie son.
I'm more of a fan for his hippie son.
meddle
+0 -0
WILSON!
WILSON!
pogo
+0 -1
Quote:
Maybe I'm finally acting my age.
Quote:
It seems as though you have been posting a lot of comments that remind people of your age recently.
Maybe I'm finally acting my age.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You'd better forget what the internet is and how to use it, then.
You'd better forget what the internet is and how to use it, then.
farqussus
+0 -0
couple that with a morbid fear of it, and anything else you can use 'fangled' to describe.
couple that with a morbid fear of it, and anything else you can use 'fangled' to describe.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Don't ask him, ask Diablo Cody.
Don't ask him, ask Diablo Cody.
blastradius
+0 -0
Achewood is making your latent homosexuality come out.
Achewood is making your latent homosexuality come out.
miseryandthesun
+1 -0
That is a nice picture of a pickup truck in your avatar.
It is a girthy automobile of significant size.
That is a nice picture of a pickup truck in your avatar.
It is a girthy automobile of significant size.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Too bad the same thing couldn't be said of YOUR AVATAR!
Too bad the same thing couldn't be said of YOUR AVATAR!
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I don't know that latent sexuality can come out. Once homosexuality comes out, it becomes blatant.
I don't know that latent sexuality can come out. Once homosexuality comes out, it becomes blatant.
pogo
+0 -0
Unless you're a blatant latent.
Unless you're a blatant latent.
dangelder
+0 -0
This was a typical Saturday at my house
This was a typical Saturday at my house
banjothepony
+0 -0
do you mean ruthlessly F5'ing achewood for the saturday night update because if so i wholeheartedly agree
do you mean ruthlessly F5'ing achewood for the saturday night update because if so i wholeheartedly agree
fireking
+12 -0
This is where we note that, since T has been on the phone, we have only seen him from the waist up.
This is where we note that, since T has been on the phone, we have only seen him from the waist up.
dangelder
+0 -0
Notice what he's doing with his other hand in panel 6.
Notice what he's doing with his other hand in panel 6.
tellumo
+0 -0
Ummm . . . it looks to me like he's reaching for the mouse, but perhaps that is just a failure of imagination on my part.
Ummm . . . it looks to me like he's reaching for the mouse, but perhaps that is just a failure of imagination on my part.
tekende
+3 -0
Or a success of imagination, depending on your point of view.
Or a success of imagination, depending on your point of view.
sje46
+2 -0
Is it like, if you look one way, it's an eskimo, and you look the other way, it's a three pronged fork?
Is it like, if you look one way, it's an eskimo, and you look the other way, it's a three pronged fork?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Yeah, your part ain't got no imagination.
Yeah, your part ain't got no imagination.
drskradley
+0 -0
I imagine that he's rubbing his nipple.
Frantically. Teodor cannot do such things in a relaxed or comfortable fashion. It causes him too much shame.
I imagine T as a dude who hates himself every time he ejaculates. Discuss.
I imagine that he's rubbing his nipple.
Frantically. Teodor cannot do such things in a relaxed or comfortable fashion. It causes him too much shame.
I imagine T as a dude who hates himself every time he ejaculates. Discuss.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Well, the Old Cement Bridge strip might confirm that hypothesis. He has issues with sex, at the very least (besides not getting any).
[hedonismbot]My only concern about ejaculation: "I hope she's wearing goggles."[/hedonismbot]
Well, the Old Cement Bridge strip might confirm that hypothesis. He has issues with sex, at the very least (besides not getting any).
[hedonismbot]My only concern about ejaculation: "I hope she's wearing goggles."[/hedonismbot]
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Not getting any sex will often cause one to develop issues regarding it. Besides, isn't hating yourself every time you ejaculate a normal thing ?
Not getting any sex will often cause one to develop issues regarding it. Besides, isn't hating yourself every time you ejaculate a normal thing ?
hedonismbot
+3 -0
Don't bother with the goggles. They do nothing
Don't bother with the goggles. They do nothing
drskradley
+0 -0
....a subtle Simpsons reference?
(or not so subtle, depending on which friend circles you mix in and what Simpsons quotes they frequent)
Also, I have not come across Louis CK before, and after viewing that video, I officially deem him to be humourous for all below my brow.
....a subtle Simpsons reference?
(or not so subtle, depending on which friend circles you mix in and what Simpsons quotes they frequent)
Also, I have not come across Louis CK before, and after viewing that video, I officially deem him to be humourous for all below my brow.
sje46
+0 -0
I really like his thing about children.
I really like his thing about children.
raticus
+1 -0
He's suddenly releasing the mouse, apologetically, after Ray catches him getting all spaced out on Wikipedia.
He's suddenly releasing the mouse, apologetically, after Ray catches him getting all spaced out on Wikipedia.
krispykorn
+0 -0
don't turn this into something it's not.
don't turn this into something it's not.
fattybeaver
+0 -1
aw yea hes totally playing with his invisable penis
aw yea hes totally playing with his invisable penis
drskradley
+0 -0
Due to your misspelling, that can quickly read as "Inadvisable Penis".
Not that I'm asking for a high degree of spelling from eternally bouncing boobies.
Due to your misspelling, that can quickly read as "Inadvisable Penis".
Not that I'm asking for a high degree of spelling from eternally bouncing boobies.
nonamejoe
+0 -0
He's showing you bouncing breasts and talking about an invisible penis. Somehow, inadvisably, you see the penis.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, Rear Admiral.
He's showing you bouncing breasts and talking about an invisible penis. Somehow, inadvisably, you see the penis.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, Rear Admiral.
speccer
+2 -0
You know how it is with Wikipedia.
You know how it is with Wikipedia.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
"Cool! Which one?"
"Cool! Which one?"
lexsenthur
+0 -0
How many people have been hosed in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" by their friends because of the way Wikipedia is.
Someguy: "Hey buddy you happen to know the name of the furthest planet from the sun? IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO!"
Failing Friend: *Huh! There's a J-Pop group called The Pluto Condition with a hit single "The IAU Fucks the Stars". Who knew!*
*dial toooooooooone*
How many people have been hosed in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" by their friends because of the way Wikipedia is.
Someguy: "Hey buddy you happen to know the name of the furthest planet from the sun? IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO!"
Failing Friend: *Huh! There's a J-Pop group called The Pluto Condition with a hit single "The IAU Fucks the Stars". Who knew!*
*dial toooooooooone*
autrepoupee
+2 -0
Ray can honestly say that he never thought it'd be like this.
Ray can honestly say that he never thought it'd be like this.
chagment
+0 -0
He should have chosen the window.
He should have chosen the window.
caboom
+1 -0
Am I the only one that's disappointed by the lack of detail?
Am I the only one that's disappointed by the lack of detail?
dangelder
+3 -0
Yes, deer!
Yes, deer!
sje46
+0 -0
That's a good sitcom.
That's a good sitcom.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I looked friggin all over the internet for a picture of a deer in some sort of human clothing and could not find anything to post as a response to this comment, but was unable to find anything.
For humanity, someone please photoshop this sitcom.
I looked friggin all over the internet for a picture of a deer in some sort of human clothing and could not find anything to post as a response to this comment, but was unable to find anything.
For humanity, someone please photoshop this sitcom.
sje46
+0 -0
Like this?
Like this?
whiteturtle
+1 -0
that is exactly the right idea, though I would have preferred it over mike o'malley's face.
Let's look at the scores before we head to the twenty tons of terror that make up the aggro crag . Take us to the leader board, Mo!
that is exactly the right idea, though I would have preferred it over mike o'malley's face.
Let's look at the scores before we head to the twenty tons of terror that make up the aggro crag . Take us to the leader board, Mo!
farqussus
+0 -0
hey MO!
You've just recalled four repressed years of couch wallowing that featured far too much AAAAAAGGGROOO CRAAAAAAGG!
You bastard
hey MO!
You've just recalled four repressed years of couch wallowing that featured far too much AAAAAAGGGROOO CRAAAAAAGG!
You bastard
sje46
+0 -0
I was going to do O'Malley, but he is my school's most famous alumni, and he deserves Reserve (no! Don't look it up and stalk me!)
And Christine was looking more heads-on.
I was going to do O'Malley, but he is my school's most famous alumni, and he deserves Reserve (no! Don't look it up and stalk me!)
And Christine was looking more heads-on.
speccer
+0 -0
Twenty tons of terror? That's some heavy Styrofoam.
According to Firefox's spell check, Styrofoam is supposed to begin with a capital letter. Who knew? Also, spell check is apparently two words.
Twenty tons of terror? That's some heavy Styrofoam.
According to Firefox's spell check, Styrofoam is supposed to begin with a capital letter. Who knew? Also, spell check is apparently two words.
redphillip
+0 -0
Yep! Styrofoam is a brand name for an expanded polyethylene. Like Kleenex, it has gained a common noun status through usage. In time, the 'S' will officially become an 's'.
Yep! Styrofoam is a brand name for an expanded polyethylene. Like Kleenex, it has gained a common noun status through usage. In time, the 'S' will officially become an 's'.
aperson
+0 -0
Where I come from, we call it polystyrene. Pretty sophisticated huh?
Where I come from, we call it polystyrene. Pretty sophisticated huh?
tekende
+0 -0
Polly Styrene was really the core of the X-Ray Spex. She made the whole thing work.
Polly Styrene was really the core of the X-Ray Spex. She made the whole thing work.
redphillip
+0 -0
My bad. Displaying such stupidity is my punishment for attempting to comment when I'm way too short of sleep.
My bad. Displaying such stupidity is my punishment for attempting to comment when I'm way too short of sleep.
aperson
+0 -0
Oh fie on this sophistication of mine; it just alienates the little people.
Oh fie on this sophistication of mine; it just alienates the little people.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm bad at photoshop.
I'm bad at photoshop.
pogo
+0 -0
Some things are best left to the imagination.
Some things are best left to the imagination.
maximus
+0 -1
Where is lawbot when you need him?
NO
NO
NO
NO!!!
Where is lawbot when you need him?
NO
NO
NO
NO!!!
nathunder
+3 -0
these activities are poorly conveyed
...perhaps for the best
these activities are poorly conveyed
...perhaps for the best
lambchop
+1 -0
I just really like it when Ray yells at people. Such sauce. such sass, such passion.
I just really like it when Ray yells at people. Such sauce. such sass, such passion.
dumase
+6 -0
Commodore Justice's talent was JUSTICE
Commodore Justice's talent was JUSTICE
nabeel84
+0 -0
Commodore Sex Act's talent was doing things to a thumpin' heinie.
Commodore Sex Act's talent was doing things to a thumpin' heinie.
pravda
+46 -0
Commodore Eagle Vision's talent was seeing eagles in a room where there were no eagles. It wasn't a talent so much as a crippling mental disorder but I never had the heart to tell him.
Commodore Eagle Vision's talent was seeing eagles in a room where there were no eagles. It wasn't a talent so much as a crippling mental disorder but I never had the heart to tell him.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Commodore Night Vision's talent was the ability to see in the dark, but the catch was that he couldn't use it when he wasn't wearing night vision goggles.
Commodore Night Vision's talent was the ability to see in the dark, but the catch was that he couldn't use it when he wasn't wearing night vision goggles.
achilleselbow
+19 -0
It's been so long since my last hastily MS Painted buggery.
It's been so long since my last hastily MS Painted buggery.
speccer
+1 -1
Copy paste art is fun sometimes.
Copy paste art is fun sometimes.
peterjoel
+0 -0
are those.. are those two-tone patent leather clogs?
are those.. are those two-tone patent leather clogs?
baryonyx
+0 -0
Incidentally, "Commodore Justice" would aslo be a pretty fine band name.
Incidentally, "Commodore Justice" would aslo be a pretty fine band name.
belgand
+0 -0
Better than "Commodore Sex Act", though? Because when viewed in a newer context than the one we've been using that becomes a damn good band name. I think I could get used to being known as Commodore Sex Act.
Better than "Commodore Sex Act", though? Because when viewed in a newer context than the one we've been using that becomes a damn good band name. I think I could get used to being known as Commodore Sex Act.
baryonyx
+0 -0
The Commodore Sex Act.
The Commodore Sex Act.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Didn't Congress recently vote down the historic Commodore Sex Act?
Didn't Congress recently vote down the historic Commodore Sex Act?
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
Yes, but it's okay because the capital markets responded with an even weirder move called the Reverse Bernanke. Except they didn't even have the decency to wear a disguise and go to a hotel.
Yes, but it's okay because the capital markets responded with an even weirder move called the Reverse Bernanke. Except they didn't even have the decency to wear a disguise and go to a hotel.
chuvak
+1 -0
Oh man that is mega nasty.
That is dog shit.
Oh man that is mega nasty.
That is dog shit.
talix18
+5 -0
Except it's cat shit.
Except it's cat shit.
sje46
+0 -0
Thank you, wise Roast Beef, for pointing out the error of his claim.
Thank you, wise Roast Beef, for pointing out the error of his claim.
chuvak
+0 -0
Sigh.
Sigh.
talix18
+0 -0
Begging your forgiveness. I'm constitutionally incapable of remembering every line of past Achewood strips.
Begging your forgiveness. I'm constitutionally incapable of remembering every line of past Achewood strips.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Oh no! Did talix18 finally get senility?
Oh no! Did talix18 finally get senility?
talix18
+0 -0
Dammit. Is this another strip reference I must respond correctly to or be mocked? (In case it's not, I've been noticing holes in the old memory for several years now. Sad.)
Dammit. Is this another strip reference I must respond correctly to or be mocked? (In case it's not, I've been noticing holes in the old memory for several years now. Sad.)
aperson
+0 -0
Here is a little something I have found increasingly useful, as I blunder into my twilight years.
Here is a little something I have found increasingly useful, as I blunder into my twilight years.
chuvak
+0 -0
No one was mocking. There's a lotta love in this assetbar. A lotta love.
No one was mocking. There's a lotta love in this assetbar. A lotta love.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
LOVE
LOVE IT
LOVE
LOVE IT
talix18
+0 -0
Excellent. It's true that way down inside, I need...
Excellent. It's true that way down inside, I need...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Now THAT shows your age young lady. Quoting baroque musicians...
"Gonna give ya every inch o my love..."
Now THAT shows your age young lady. Quoting baroque musicians...
"Gonna give ya every inch o my love..."
talix18
+0 -0
"Gonna give ya every inch o my candy-striped love..."
Fixed that for ya.
"Gonna give ya every inch o my candy-striped love..."
Fixed that for ya.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
I had candy-striped love once. Got a salve. Cleared it right up.
I had candy-striped love once. Got a salve. Cleared it right up.
kamet
+0 -0
Try what I did. Only 10K up front.
Try what I did. Only 10K up front.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Kamet, I think you're rad, but I'd like to propose a one-week moratorium on this particular quote.
Kamet, I think you're rad, but I'd like to propose a one-week moratorium on this particular quote.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I blame myself, really.
I blame myself, really.
kamet
+0 -0
Na, it's coo.
Na, it's coo.
kamet
+0 -0
The first time is always extremely uncomfortable.
The first time is always extremely uncomfortable.
awko
+1 -0
I used to work in a hotel. This is exactly the sort of thing that people get up to. Things that people wouldn't normally do in the family home.
I used to work in a hotel. This is exactly the sort of thing that people get up to. Things that people wouldn't normally do in the family home.
eatmorekix
+1 -0
yeah, what is it about hotels that makes people get kinky with each other?
yeah, what is it about hotels that makes people get kinky with each other?
baryonyx
+3 -0
It's like they always say. "The Demilitarized Zone is the Ultimate Battleground."
It's like they always say. "The Demilitarized Zone is the Ultimate Battleground."
mrwombat
+0 -0
It is all the hookers living there.
It is all the hookers living there.
hamscout
+0 -0
What is it about hotels?
...the ability to unload on cheap comforters and crappy artwork.
What is it about hotels?
...the ability to unload on cheap comforters and crappy artwork.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I appreciate that you are going out of your way to unload on the artwork.
I appreciate that you are going out of your way to unload on the artwork.
sje46
+0 -0
Are you going to Mack Plaque?
Are you going to Mack Plaque?
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Haha, no. I didn't go to Mack Plaque, even when I was in high school.
My school spirit level was at about a 2, when to attend the Mack Plaque festivities, you should probably have at least a 5 or 6.
Haha, no. I didn't go to Mack Plaque, even when I was in high school.
My school spirit level was at about a 2, when to attend the Mack Plaque festivities, you should probably have at least a 5 or 6.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh. Well I don't have much spirit either; I was just planning on going to see all my friends from high school.
I'm still upset about that Beaver Lake thing.
Oh. Well I don't have much spirit either; I was just planning on going to see all my friends from high school.
I'm still upset about that Beaver Lake thing.
belgand
+0 -0
Agreed. For reasons I cannot fathom my girlfriend tends to enjoy having sex in hotels. This is compared to generally not wanting to sex anywhere else. Truly they must have strong, strange powers.
Agreed. For reasons I cannot fathom my girlfriend tends to enjoy having sex in hotels. This is compared to generally not wanting to sex anywhere else. Truly they must have strong, strange powers.
baryonyx
+6 -0
You Haven't Seen These Most Sexually Explicit
[url="https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M^a11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D09272008"]Enter the Commodore[/url]
[url="https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M^a11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D07122007"]The Ugly Thoughts[/url]
[url="https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M^a11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D06092004"]Success![/url]
You Haven't Seen These Most Sexually Explicit
[url="https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M^a11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D09272008"]Enter the Commodore[/url]
[url="https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M^a11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D07122007"]The Ugly Thoughts[/url]
[url="https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M^a11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D06092004"]Success![/url]
baryonyx
+5 -1
DESTROY ME.
DESTROY ME.
sje46
+0 -0
OK
OK
baryonyx
+5 -1
KGgz-
KGgz-
farqussus
+0 -0
Getting a commodore from BBCode only earns empathetic chubbies these days. People have come to realise who is whose bitch around here.
Getting a commodore from BBCode only earns empathetic chubbies these days. People have come to realise who is whose bitch around here.
adjack
+0 -0
what you say!
what you say!
miseryandthesun
+0 -1
Say... little girl...
Say... little girl...
ntopp
+0 -0
Is terrible avatar/comment synergy and I see another agrees.
Is terrible avatar/comment synergy and I see another agrees.
sje46
+0 -0
So Wikipedia has an article on poorly produced japanese action cartoons?
So Wikipedia has an article on poorly produced japanese action cartoons?
awko
+2 -0
Man, that's pretty much what Wikipedia was invented for.
Man, that's pretty much what Wikipedia was invented for.
baryonyx
+5 -0
I kind of want to go and write this one on Wikipedia right now? But the Wikipedia Servitors would be waiting in ambush for just such a shenanigan.
All eating astronaut paste through tubes in their throats so as to better administrate Wikipedia.
I kind of want to go and write this one on Wikipedia right now? But the Wikipedia Servitors would be waiting in ambush for just such a shenanigan.
All eating astronaut paste through tubes in their throats so as to better administrate Wikipedia.
johnthermos
+0 -0
It is my new purpose in life to produce this cartoon solely so a real wikipedia page about it can exist.
It is my new purpose in life to produce this cartoon solely so a real wikipedia page about it can exist.
sje46
+0 -0
But first, let us fix this.
https://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Achewood
But first, let us fix this.
https://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Achewood
speccer
+0 -0
Let crappy sites have their crappy ideas.
Let crappy sites have their crappy ideas.
sje46
+0 -0
It is a little funny.
Quote:
But yeah. Not a big fan of that site.
It is a little funny.
Quote:
People viewing the mimeographs have noted a curious level of continuity between images, and it has been speculated that the images in fact represent the khomijkl cypress' attempts at communicating with society. The ideograms are unfortunately indecipherable, however, coming across more as the work of some embittered lunatic than any rational being.
But yeah. Not a big fan of that site.
tangles
+1 -0
face it. there are people who get achewood, and people who don't. its only natural for them to feel bitter at us for being so clearly superior
face it. there are people who get achewood, and people who don't. its only natural for them to feel bitter at us for being so clearly superior
tellumo
+4 -0
I know that all the sex-havin' distracts from it, but I dig how "poorly-produced" is actually a link (or part of one) in panel 3.
I know that all the sex-havin' distracts from it, but I dig how "poorly-produced" is actually a link (or part of one) in panel 3.
baryonyx
+3 -0
In the series, the Guild of Purpose-Driven Commodores was opposed by the evil League of Apathetic Colonels.
In the series, the Guild of Purpose-Driven Commodores was opposed by the evil League of Apathetic Colonels.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
That would have made for some really one-sided fight scenes
That would have made for some really one-sided fight scenes
sje46
+0 -0
What is with all this apathetic bashing?
People keep discriminating against us apathets. And I sorta don't like it. I mean, I kinda wish you would stop, but whatever.
What is with all this apathetic bashing?
People keep discriminating against us apathets. And I sorta don't like it. I mean, I kinda wish you would stop, but whatever.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Is that an opinion?
And you call yourself an apath.
Is that an opinion?
And you call yourself an apath.
sje46
+0 -0
We can have weak opinions.
But whatever. So I'm not apathetic.
*shrugs*
We can have weak opinions.
But whatever. So I'm not apathetic.
*shrugs*
mrchee
+0 -0
So is it pegging or isn't it
So is it pegging or isn't it
mrchee
+0 -0
Because if it isn't, then it's a waste of everyone's time
Because if it isn't, then it's a waste of everyone's time
daidai
+0 -0
Nina! He says this!
Nina! He says this!
belgand
+0 -0
After closer inspection it could definitely be some sort of sack-play. We do know that it requires some lotioning up, but that Ray seems to be opposed to the idea of pegging. That is not, mind you, solid proof that he's completely opposed to anal play, but it does cast some doubt on it. Unless he has had a sudden change of opinion upon being placed in a situation where it was unavoidable.
After closer inspection it could definitely be some sort of sack-play. We do know that it requires some lotioning up, but that Ray seems to be opposed to the idea of pegging. That is not, mind you, solid proof that he's completely opposed to anal play, but it does cast some doubt on it. Unless he has had a sudden change of opinion upon being placed in a situation where it was unavoidable.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I read it as Ray having been opposed to pegging on a public and conscious level, but secretly relishing the idea, and now that he is in a hotel and in disguise he is allowing himself to enjoy it
I read it as Ray having been opposed to pegging on a public and conscious level, but secretly relishing the idea, and now that he is in a hotel and in disguise he is allowing himself to enjoy it
theguitarhero
+1 -0
You two are reading WAY too much into the sex life of a cartoon cat.
You two are reading WAY too much into the sex life of a cartoon cat.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
belgand only gets sex when he's in hotels and achilleseblow gets less play than a dead Mother Theresa. Let them have their fun.
belgand only gets sex when he's in hotels and achilleseblow gets less play than a dead Mother Theresa. Let them have their fun.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A dead Mother Theresa probably has slightly more chance of getting play than a live one.
A dead Mother Theresa probably has slightly more chance of getting play than a live one.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I can attest to that
I can attest to that
sje46
+0 -0
Why are you so perverted?
Why?
Why are you so perverted?
Why?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Why does a bear crap in the woods? Because it is his nature. Also because I slipped him a fistful of laxatives.
Why does a bear crap in the woods? Because it is his nature. Also because I slipped him a fistful of laxatives.
daidai
+0 -0
Not hedonis...tic.
Just weird.
Not hedonis...tic.
Just weird.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm not proud of that one. It kinda got away from me when I used that illustration. I'll cut this one out of the compilation volume
Yeah, I'm not proud of that one. It kinda got away from me when I used that illustration. I'll cut this one out of the compilation volume
aperson
+3 -0
There's nothing more hedonistic than to sit in a pickup truck quaffing Kristal while nearby a bear is having explosive diarrhoea. It's the contrast that heightens the whole deal.
There's nothing more hedonistic than to sit in a pickup truck quaffing Kristal while nearby a bear is having explosive diarrhoea. It's the contrast that heightens the whole deal.
belgand
+0 -0
Like shoving your junk into a big pile of shaved ice just as you're about to achieve full release?
Like shoving your junk into a big pile of shaved ice just as you're about to achieve full release?
tripleg
+0 -0
like attempting and failing to use chinese finger traps made from stinging nettle as condoms?
like attempting and failing to use chinese finger traps made from stinging nettle as condoms?
belgand
+1 -0
No. That is merely lunacy. That is the idea of a Winter Son.
No. That is merely lunacy. That is the idea of a Winter Son.
cdumas
+1 -0
The Commodore involves a Phone_sex_(chanteuse) getting lost between Prince_(heinie) and Funky_(something) with a Washcloth_(warm). Then after a while one learns why there are So_Many_(hotels). This is a typical Wikipedia experience.
The Commodore involves a Phone_sex_(chanteuse) getting lost between Prince_(heinie) and Funky_(something) with a Washcloth_(warm). Then after a while one learns why there are So_Many_(hotels). This is a typical Wikipedia experience.
mrchee
+0 -2
But is it pegging?
But is it pegging?
echidnaboy
+3 -1
Oh my God! The PERFECT thing to do to a guy in a hotel, EVER!
SPLUT
Oh my God! The PERFECT thing to do to a guy in a hotel, EVER!
SPLUT
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Man this new avatar goes with everything
Man this new avatar goes with everything
mrchee
+0 -0
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by grayestnova, cdumas, rachel)
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by grayestnova, cdumas, rachel)
mrwombat
+1 -1
No, that one's just anal. Don't make him post it again.
No, that one's just anal. Don't make him post it again.
aperson
+2 -0
Burt Reynolds
The Original Commodore Sex Act
RIP
Burt Reynolds
The Original Commodore Sex Act
RIP
davey-boy
+0 -0
He's not dead.
He's not dead.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Wikipedia, IMDb and Reynold's homepage say nothing of his death.
Wikipedia, IMDb and Reynold's homepage say nothing of his death.
davey-boy
+1 -1
Nor do three different papers.
Nor do three different papers.
aperson
+1 -0
He lives on in our hearts.
He lives on in our hearts.
aperson
+6 -0
Oh damn. I meant David Foster Wallace.
Oh damn. I meant David Foster Wallace.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Those two people are nothing alike!
Those two people are nothing alike!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Not true: they both fucked Loni Anderson .
Not true: they both fucked Loni Anderson .
notcool
+0 -0
But did she give them the commodore?
But did she give them the commodore?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Lonis Edison?
Lonis Edison?
rowboat
+0 -0
Fineoakstructure, I'm gonna go ahead and make believe that you just invented a game called Name Those Nuts! so that I can pretend to be the first contestant and so that I can fictitiously guess that they are none other than TAPIR NUTS!!
Do I win?
Fineoakstructure, I'm gonna go ahead and make believe that you just invented a game called Name Those Nuts! so that I can pretend to be the first contestant and so that I can fictitiously guess that they are none other than TAPIR NUTS!!
Do I win?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Ooh, I'm sorry...that would be one of the results on Google Image search for "bear penis"...bear penis. But you do win a copy of the home game and a chance to come for Champion's Week.
Ooh, I'm sorry...that would be one of the results on Google Image search for "bear penis"...bear penis. But you do win a copy of the home game and a chance to come for Champion's Week.
speccer
+0 -0
Penis isn't nuts. You two are obviously playing different games. Very different games.
Penis isn't nuts. You two are obviously playing different games. Very different games.
tangles
+3 -0
"that's a lot like chuck norris... wait, i meant stephen hawking"
"that's a lot like chuck norris... wait, i meant stephen hawking"
flazisismuss
+0 -0
David Foster Wallace hung himself in my town. Claremont... it's that sort of place. It pushed the endless recriminations over parking spaces off the "local" section of Google news for over a week.
David Foster Wallace hung himself in my town. Claremont... it's that sort of place. It pushed the endless recriminations over parking spaces off the "local" section of Google news for over a week.
pogo
+0 -0
It took his demise to get my attention, and I'm enjoying his writing post-humously.
It took his demise to get my attention, and I'm enjoying his writing post-humously.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But would you also say you're enjoying it post-humorously?
But would you also say you're enjoying it post-humorously?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Please don't be offended if I tell you I laughed really hard at that.
Please don't be offended if I tell you I laughed really hard at that.
theirateturk
+0 -2
What is she doing, eating his ass?
What is she doing, eating his ass?
aperson
+1 -0
She's making a series of small origami animals.
She's making a series of small origami animals.
aperson
+0 -0
...one handed.
...one handed.
theirateturk
+0 -1
I dont get it
I dont get it
aperson
+4 -0
...unlike the basketball team.
...unlike the basketball team.
kamet
+0 -0
Oo, ouch.
Oo, ouch.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I don't get it :(
I don't get it :(
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Your girlfriend got it though.
Your girlfriend got it though.
sje46
+0 -0
She got it all night long.
She got it all night long.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Ex-girlfriend dude. Ex-girlfriend.
Ex-girlfriend dude. Ex-girlfriend.
tangles
+0 -0
well, in that case, your mother got it
well, in that case, your mother got it
hughw
+0 -0
ex-mother dude. ex-mother.
ex-mother dude. ex-mother.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm so sorry!
I guess it was just not working out?
I'm so sorry!
I guess it was just not working out?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Well, she was certainly getting quite a workout!
Well, she was certainly getting quite a workout!
woodenteeth
+5 -0
Panel 12 is a Rorschach. Please enter your observations below and Gladi8 will evaluate them:
Panel 12 is a Rorschach. Please enter your observations below and Gladi8 will evaluate them:
chagment
+0 -0
Maybe she is applying a soothing hot compress to his "thumpin'" hemorrhoids.
Maybe she is applying a soothing hot compress to his "thumpin'" hemorrhoids.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
a smalls man palyin pingpong wit and biggah man who jus missed da ball? so nah ees dubbed ove cryin. muscular, ands coveh is fac
a smalls man palyin pingpong wit and biggah man who jus missed da ball? so nah ees dubbed ove cryin. muscular, ands coveh is fac
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Gladi8 shows here that although he is Assetbars Invincible Protector and Rogue, he too fears...
FAILURE AT PING PONG!
Gladi8 shows here that although he is Assetbars Invincible Protector and Rogue, he too fears...
FAILURE AT PING PONG!
theirateturk
+0 -0
I mean it looks like a man fucking a lion or something. Maybe that's just the Turk in me.
I mean it looks like a man fucking a lion or something. Maybe that's just the Turk in me.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Well, that's one thing she didn't say.
Well, that's one thing she didn't say.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Man if I had a dollar for every time I received a commodore...
Man if I had a dollar for every time I received a commodore...
pogo
+0 -0
You would owe about six hundo.
You would owe about six hundo.
pantscomeoff
+2 -0
I think Ray just got pegged in a room.
I think Ray just got pegged in a room.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
good call.
good call.
perilon
+0 -0
I'd better not be the only one who actually googled "passerine" (of, belonging, or pertaining to the order Passeriformes, which includes more than half of all bird species; sometimes known as perching birds or, less accurately, as songbirds).
REALLY, PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT! Dear God...
I'd better not be the only one who actually googled "passerine" (of, belonging, or pertaining to the order Passeriformes, which includes more than half of all bird species; sometimes known as perching birds or, less accurately, as songbirds).
REALLY, PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT! Dear God...
wilbur
+0 -0
Be not afraid, I did too. Now I'm still trying to figure out how that adjective applies to Tina...
Be not afraid, I did too. Now I'm still trying to figure out how that adjective applies to Tina...
redphillip
+0 -0
Don't worry. It's just T's way to vocabulary a situation. That and it's his imagining the way that oil sheiks talk, all strange and flowery like oddly mistranslated Arabic poetry.
Don't worry. It's just T's way to vocabulary a situation. That and it's his imagining the way that oil sheiks talk, all strange and flowery like oddly mistranslated Arabic poetry.
stereo
+0 -0
That makes me wonder if the Empire Voice Donut will only change pronunciations or if it will replace whole words with location specific vocabulary. I mean a British accent is not going to fool anyone if you're still speaking American English.
That makes me wonder if the Empire Voice Donut will only change pronunciations or if it will replace whole words with location specific vocabulary. I mean a British accent is not going to fool anyone if you're still speaking American English.
old_crow
+4 -0
I feel like the definition of a commodore is within everyone. It is up to everyone to determine what their own "commodore" is. Perhaps that is why the act is left intentionally ambiguous. (Also, remember the first rule of Achewood: "If I have to show two animals going at it, it isn't going to give ANYBODY something to get off to." )
That being said Ray probably isn't being pegged, any more than he's having cheap box wine poured along his pecker. The smart money says he's having birthday cake mashed into his bottom.
I feel like the definition of a commodore is within everyone. It is up to everyone to determine what their own "commodore" is. Perhaps that is why the act is left intentionally ambiguous. (Also, remember the first rule of Achewood: "If I have to show two animals going at it, it isn't going to give ANYBODY something to get off to." )
That being said Ray probably isn't being pegged, any more than he's having cheap box wine poured along his pecker. The smart money says he's having birthday cake mashed into his bottom.
hamscout
+5 -0
If the definition of commodore is within Ray,
it appears Tina is going in to get it.
If the definition of commodore is within Ray,
it appears Tina is going in to get it.
pogo
+0 -0
I vote for prostate massage, which is supposed to create a huge amount of ejaculate.
I vote for prostate massage, which is supposed to create a huge amount of ejaculate.
sje46
+0 -0
It's supposed to, if it goes right.
It's supposed to, if it goes right.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Does that necessarily mean that it feels better? I personally can't visualise having my spunk-sack squeezed like a Whoopie cushion being that pleasurable.
Does that necessarily mean that it feels better? I personally can't visualise having my spunk-sack squeezed like a Whoopie cushion being that pleasurable.
pogo
+0 -0
Gently massaged, since there's no way to get two fingers up there for a squeeze, at least, I wouldn't want that in my colon.
Gently massaged, since there's no way to get two fingers up there for a squeeze, at least, I wouldn't want that in my colon.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Someone hasn't seen Goatse enough times.
(Disclaimer: This is not actually true of anyone.)
Someone hasn't seen Goatse enough times.
(Disclaimer: This is not actually true of anyone.)
pogo
+0 -0
Man, I have NEVER looked at that goat thang.
Man, I have NEVER looked at that goat thang.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
"Milking the Prostate" = Two or three fingers up and in, gentle squeeze, huge climax. Some men find it painful, others extreemly pleasurable. My bet: this is what Ray found it.
"Milking the Prostate" = Two or three fingers up and in, gentle squeeze, huge climax. Some men find it painful, others extreemly pleasurable. My bet: this is what Ray found it.
speccer
+0 -0
I wish it was just a goat.
I wish it was just a goat.
magnetocat
+1 -0
this commodore business dovetailed with the fingernail-in-the-navel arc have just about hemorrhaged my nasty meter.
KLOODGE.
yep. There it went.
this commodore business dovetailed with the fingernail-in-the-navel arc have just about hemorrhaged my nasty meter.
KLOODGE.
yep. There it went.
redphillip
+0 -0
Your nasty meter's on a fairly hair trigger, eh? I recommend topical benzocaine.
Your nasty meter's on a fairly hair trigger, eh? I recommend topical benzocaine.
mrklaw
+0 -0
your nasty meter killed Little Nephew.
I am an encyclopedia of onomonopoea
your nasty meter killed Little Nephew.
I am an encyclopedia of onomonopoea
sweetlips
+0 -0
Man, Ray! You can't do that in Alabama!
Man, Ray! You can't do that in Alabama!
tripleg
+1 -0
hamscout
+2 -0
My goodness! That woman has four f-holes!
My goodness! That woman has four f-holes!
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Five, even.
Five, even.
lechatbotte
+3 -0
Five is odd, not even.
Five is odd, not even.
kickstart
+0 -0
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
stereo
+0 -0
What kind of number is double zero anyway?
What kind of number is double zero anyway?
tripleg
+0 -0
a potential number?
a potential number?
hamscout
+1 -0
...not if you listen to my wife...
...not if you listen to my wife...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, I hear ya - I mean, you can get pregnant that way.
Yea, I hear ya - I mean, you can get pregnant that way.
nicolae
+0 -0
Well played, son
Well played, son
rowboat
+0 -0
I get it, but part of me wishes I didn't.
I get it, but part of me wishes I didn't.
deusoma
+1 -0
...So is Teodor just going to listen to Ray and Tina's love noises the entire time?
...So is Teodor just going to listen to Ray and Tina's love noises the entire time?
retinarow
+5 -0
Google Trends results for "Commodore Sex Act"
Godfather Font compliments of me.
Google Trends results for "Commodore Sex Act"
Godfather Font compliments of me.
snidedk
+0 -0
before I remembered that Assetbar cuts off the right edge of large images, I was very confused as to what the joke here was.
before I remembered that Assetbar cuts off the right edge of large images, I was very confused as to what the joke here was.
retinarow
+0 -0
Yes. I considered writing a disclaimer, but counted on the masses to figure it out.
Yes. I considered writing a disclaimer, but counted on the masses to figure it out.
falseprophet
+17 -0
It just occurred to me that when the NPR interview with Onstad airs, millions of baby boomers will go to his web-site for the first time and they will see this strip and they will move on to other web sites because their sensibilities will be offended by the gross concept of an encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
It just occurred to me that when the NPR interview with Onstad airs, millions of baby boomers will go to his web-site for the first time and they will see this strip and they will move on to other web sites because their sensibilities will be offended by the gross concept of an encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Date and time. I need date and time.
Date and time. I need date and time.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Oh hey, sorry. It airs tomorrow morning (Monday September 29) at 6:51 AM on Morning Edition. Check your local listings.
Oh hey, sorry. It airs tomorrow morning (Monday September 29) at 6:51 AM on Morning Edition. Check your local listings.
sje46
+0 -0
6:51?!?!?!?
Can, umm, someone record it, put it on Youtube or something?
6:51?!?!?!?
Can, umm, someone record it, put it on Youtube or something?
falseprophet
+0 -0
It will be on NPR.org at around 9 AM EDT.
It will be on NPR.org at around 9 AM EDT.
irondave
+0 -0
I heard it there and it was GOOD.
I heard it there and it was GOOD.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
I initially chubbied your comment for the idea of Baby Boomers being offended by an encyclopedia you can edit, because I feel that they are truly offended by such a thing.
Then I realized there is a cartoon cat getting anal play also in this comic alongside the wiki reference.
Then I understood your intended joke and wished that I could chubby it again for the proper reasons.
I initially chubbied your comment for the idea of Baby Boomers being offended by an encyclopedia you can edit, because I feel that they are truly offended by such a thing.
Then I realized there is a cartoon cat getting anal play also in this comic alongside the wiki reference.
Then I understood your intended joke and wished that I could chubby it again for the proper reasons.
pogo
+0 -0
It was a GREAT interview. I felt I got to know Onstad personally, and it was really fun to hear him do the voices for Ray and Beef.
It was a GREAT interview. I felt I got to know Onstad personally, and it was really fun to hear him do the voices for Ray and Beef.
aperson
+0 -0
Interesting sound bite: "I dont wanna give up doing a daily strip just yet ".
Interesting sound bite: "I dont wanna give up doing a daily strip just yet ".
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Thus he's giving it up in small steps. First a decrease from five strips a week to four. Then skipping days in order to produce bigger strips with smaller frequency. By the end of the year Achewood will become a mammoth, Sundays-only strip. Then next year, Achewood Quarterly.
Thus he's giving it up in small steps. First a decrease from five strips a week to four. Then skipping days in order to produce bigger strips with smaller frequency. By the end of the year Achewood will become a mammoth, Sundays-only strip. Then next year, Achewood Quarterly.
sje46
+0 -0
Say it ain't so!
Say it ain't so!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:'(
:'(
pogo
+0 -0
We all lived, somehow, before Achewood, and if it stops posting, we will, somehow, live on. *sigh*
We all lived, somehow, before Achewood, and if it stops posting, we will, somehow, live on. *sigh*
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Those were incorrect lives.
Those were incorrect lives.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
It's funny but I hate hearing people do character's voices. Whenever I would read Calvin and Hobbes, they would have my voice (or my brain-voice..?) and belong more to me in that way. It's like what they said in the interview, how more is left up to the reader. While Onstad may want us to hear his idea of Ray and Beef's voices, I still hear the voiceless voices in my mind ( <--new Cure song) and I like it that way.
It's funny but I hate hearing people do character's voices. Whenever I would read Calvin and Hobbes, they would have my voice (or my brain-voice..?) and belong more to me in that way. It's like what they said in the interview, how more is left up to the reader. While Onstad may want us to hear his idea of Ray and Beef's voices, I still hear the voiceless voices in my mind ( <--new Cure song) and I like it that way.
tekende
+1 -0
[-o-] <--TIE fighter
[-o-] <--TIE fighter
nice-on-water
+0 -0
<>O<> <---bow tie
<>O<> <---bow tie
i_love_kate
+0 -0
^
|
Something that will get tired very quickly.
^
|
Something that will get tired very quickly.
rowboat
+0 -0
---
/ \ <--- A half boner or "The Chubs."
---
/ \ <--- A half boner or "The Chubs."
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, just never mind.
Well, just never mind.
mattylite
+3 -0
ROCK HARD KAT KOCK!
|
|
V
ROCK HARD KAT KOCK!
|
|
V
nice-on-water
+0 -0
^ A party pooper
^ A party pooper
tragicone
+0 -0
i just realized i read every character in my mind except beef, whom i give no voice.
i just realized i read every character in my mind except beef, whom i give no voice.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is pretty interesting. Is it a normal thing to read stuff in a 'voice'? I don't feel like I do that when I read. The only time that happens is when I'm reading something and unable to focus, so I start 'saying' the words in my mind, which doesn't help, and I just end up going over the same paragraph over and over. But when I'm actually reading and absorbing stuff easily, I don't think there's any voice at all.
This is pretty interesting. Is it a normal thing to read stuff in a 'voice'? I don't feel like I do that when I read. The only time that happens is when I'm reading something and unable to focus, so I start 'saying' the words in my mind, which doesn't help, and I just end up going over the same paragraph over and over. But when I'm actually reading and absorbing stuff easily, I don't think there's any voice at all.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, I see words in my mind when I read them, I don't give them some voice.
Yeah, I see words in my mind when I read them, I don't give them some voice.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't hear a voice when I read. That's why I hated the Garfield cartoons (there are many reasons to hate Garfield, but this was one). I didn't need the guy speaking in a Murrayesque monotone, I knew Garfield spoke like that, and I preferred my mind's reading of the words over the voice that the character was given.
I don't hear a voice when I read. That's why I hated the Garfield cartoons (there are many reasons to hate Garfield, but this was one). I didn't need the guy speaking in a Murrayesque monotone, I knew Garfield spoke like that, and I preferred my mind's reading of the words over the voice that the character was given.
sje46
+0 -0
Agree. However, I would watch the show/movie/whatever if there is one.
Agree. However, I would watch the show/movie/whatever if there is one.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There is a series and I think two movies.
There is a series and I think two movies.
sje46
+0 -0
Also the off-Broadway musical.
Also the off-Broadway musical.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And lastly, the Lasagna Time comedy troupe draws inspiration from the comic. It has been banned all but 5 states.
And lastly, the Lasagna Time comedy troupe draws inspiration from the comic. It has been banned all but 5 states.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
IN. ALL. BUT.
IN. ALL. BUT.
hamscout
+0 -0
Apparently, 'IN' is one of the states in which it is banned...
Apparently, 'IN' is one of the states in which it is banned...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Surprisingly, no.
... smart ass ...
Surprisingly, no.
... smart ass ...
autrepoupee
+1 -0
when I read Achewood, everyone is just that guy who voiced Garfield in the cartoons.
when I read Achewood, everyone is just that guy who voiced Garfield in the cartoons.
tekende
+0 -0
You know what was great? When Nermal was on the show. I was always "There is no way in hell that cat is a boy, just no fucking way"
You know what was great? When Nermal was on the show. I was always "There is no way in hell that cat is a boy, just no fucking way"
sje46
+0 -0
Really?
I thought it was a girl too.
Really?
I thought it was a girl too.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I still forget. It's the eyelashes and obsession with pretty.
I still forget. It's the eyelashes and obsession with pretty.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he's the more famous, showcat little cousin. 'course he has to keep up appearances. suppose he got a repuTATION.
he's the more famous, showcat little cousin. 'course he has to keep up appearances. suppose he got a repuTATION.
kickstart
+0 -0
Yo, pour one out for Lorenzo Music.
Yo, pour one out for Lorenzo Music.
rowboat
+0 -0
A.K.A. Lorenzo "Elevator" Music
Not sure where I'm goin' with that....
A.K.A. Lorenzo "Elevator" Music
Not sure where I'm goin' with that....
achewood
+0 -0
Achewood is disgusting.
Achewood is disgusting.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Don't be so disparaging of yourself.
You're a good kitty!
Don't be so disparaging of yourself.
You're a good kitty!
songbirdspectre
+1 -1
goddamn you, onstad. i must know!
goddamn you, onstad. i must know!
ketelcat
+0 -0
I'm so impressed with myself for getting this far and not looking up "commodore sex act". I need to wait until the end of this arc. Also yea, isn't that just how it is with wikipedia?
I'm so impressed with myself for getting this far and not looking up "commodore sex act". I need to wait until the end of this arc. Also yea, isn't that just how it is with wikipedia?
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
dis post i named
Scat ALBUM
helio an elcome i am mak jernal ntree. stardut 154, capitans log (dose ee say dat b4 ee flushs?) i ab relizzed dat i got no muscal talints an muss mak ma music usin' ma mouf. scatn it up, hella ghetoo.
end.
am i l8? i worry
2 b sure, i hurry
i think i'm runin behind
i speed across deh highway
an i honk 4 peeps 2 get outta myway
i cannit b l8 4 ma daily grind
and ickle poime abot rootines or mabye der r sum undrtones?
dis post i named
Scat ALBUM
helio an elcome i am mak jernal ntree. stardut 154, capitans log (dose ee say dat b4 ee flushs?) i ab relizzed dat i got no muscal talints an muss mak ma music usin' ma mouf. scatn it up, hella ghetoo.
end.
am i l8? i worry
2 b sure, i hurry
i think i'm runin behind
i speed across deh highway
an i honk 4 peeps 2 get outta myway
i cannit b l8 4 ma daily grind
and ickle poime abot rootines or mabye der r sum undrtones?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Maybe there are.
Maybe there are.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Maybe... there are .
Maybe... there are .
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
stop delayin n gib me chiuppies u tink dis shit is free?
stop delayin n gib me chiuppies u tink dis shit is free?
catgrl131
+0 -0
...yes?
...yes?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
this post i named
Scat ALBUM
hello and welcome. i am making a journal entry. stardate one-five-four, captain's log (does he say that before he flushes?) i have realized that i got no musical talents and must make music using my mouth. scatin' it up, hella ghetto.
end.
am i late? i worry.
to be sure, i hurry.
i think i'm runnin' behind.
i speed accross the highway,
and i honk for people to get out of my way.
i cannot be late for my daily grind.
a little poem about routines or maybe there are some undertones?
i think we can all read Gladlish now, thus this has been rendered an unnecessary service.
this post i named
Scat ALBUM
hello and welcome. i am making a journal entry. stardate one-five-four, captain's log (does he say that before he flushes?) i have realized that i got no musical talents and must make music using my mouth. scatin' it up, hella ghetto.
end.
am i late? i worry.
to be sure, i hurry.
i think i'm runnin' behind.
i speed accross the highway,
and i honk for people to get out of my way.
i cannot be late for my daily grind.
a little poem about routines or maybe there are some undertones?
i think we can all read Gladlish now, thus this has been rendered an unnecessary service.
rowboat
+0 -0
Actually, it's still helpful for someone who often skips over his posts but for some reason chose to read this one. I got most of it, but read "l8" as eighteen.
I don't think I'm smart enough to be that stupid.
Actually, it's still helpful for someone who often skips over his posts but for some reason chose to read this one. I got most of it, but read "l8" as eighteen.
I don't think I'm smart enough to be that stupid.
daidai
+3 -0
Panel 11 confirms my prediction yesterday:
Old Yeller is involved.
Panel 11 confirms my prediction yesterday:
Old Yeller is involved.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
Ray is on all fours on the bed, waiting to be shot in the head because of his rabies?
Ray is on all fours on the bed, waiting to be shot in the head because of his rabies?
speccer
+1 -0
No, "Old Yeller" is Tina's vibrator. Not named by her.
No, "Old Yeller" is Tina's vibrator. Not named by her.
speccer
+0 -0
That chubby should have gone to daidai - I'm simply clarifying for i_love_kate. daidai's the one that came up with it.
Since my post only received one chubby, I can forward it to daidai's post, but future chubbies must be correctly allotted.
That chubby should have gone to daidai - I'm simply clarifying for i_love_kate. daidai's the one that came up with it.
Since my post only received one chubby, I can forward it to daidai's post, but future chubbies must be correctly allotted.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I just noticed this, but I don't think I've ever seen a Wikipedia article with a section entitled "Public Furor." It's not really a Vocabulary Place.
I just noticed this, but I don't think I've ever seen a Wikipedia article with a section entitled "Public Furor." It's not really a Vocabulary Place.
goro
+0 -0
I love the fact that the Wikipedia experience has now been etched in stone by Mr. Onstad.
I love the fact that the Wikipedia experience has now been etched in stone by Mr. Onstad.
theguitarhero
+1 -2
I know I'm gonna get lames for this, but Randall Munroe did it earlier and a little bit better.
I know I'm gonna get lames for this, but Randall Munroe did it earlier and a little bit better.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
speccer
+0 -0
I don't really like XKCD-NO I AM NOT STARTING A STUPID WEBCOMIC DISCUSSION THREAD
I don't really like XKCD-NO I AM NOT STARTING A STUPID WEBCOMIC DISCUSSION THREAD
sje46
+0 -0
WHAT HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE XKCD ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE YOURE STUPID OR SOMETHING AND YES I AM STARTING A FIGHT.
WHAT HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE XKCD ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE YOURE STUPID OR SOMETHING AND YES I AM STARTING A FIGHT.
speccer
+0 -0
There is not going to be another thread like the Questionable Content one DO NOT DISCUSS EITHER COMIC DUE TO MY POSTS
There is not going to be another thread like the Questionable Content one DO NOT DISCUSS EITHER COMIC DUE TO MY POSTS
sje46
+0 -0
?ABLE CONTENT IS ANOTHER AWESOME COMIC, IN FACT EVERY COMIC YOU DONT LIKE IS AN AWESOME COMIC AND ONLY ONE COMIC YOU DO LIKE IS AN AWESOME COMIC BUT ALL THE REST ARE LAME.
?ABLE CONTENT IS ANOTHER AWESOME COMIC, IN FACT EVERY COMIC YOU DONT LIKE IS AN AWESOME COMIC AND ONLY ONE COMIC YOU DO LIKE IS AN AWESOME COMIC BUT ALL THE REST ARE LAME.
speccer
+0 -0
Are you saying Achewood is lame? For shame.
Are you saying Achewood is lame? For shame.
sje46
+1 -0
NO I SAID ONLY ONE COMIC YOU LIKE IS AN AWESOME COMIC AND THE REST ARE LAME> THE ONE COMIC THAT YOU DO LIKE WHICH IS AWESOME IS ACHEWOOD> I MEAN< GO READ A BOOK BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW TO READ LOL>
NO I SAID ONLY ONE COMIC YOU LIKE IS AN AWESOME COMIC AND THE REST ARE LAME> THE ONE COMIC THAT YOU DO LIKE WHICH IS AWESOME IS ACHEWOOD> I MEAN< GO READ A BOOK BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW TO READ LOL>
achilleselbow
+0 -0
HAY GUYZ WHO WANTS 2 CHEK OUT MY WEBCAM
HAY GUYZ WHO WANTS 2 CHEK OUT MY WEBCAM
sje46
+0 -0
CNA I?!?!
CNA I?!?!
speccer
+1 -0
Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
catgrl131
+1 -0
so i herd u liek mudkips.
so i herd u liek mudkips.
awko
+0 -0
Underage B&
Underage B&
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Jesus. Are we really going all 4chan here in this thread? Do I need to post this pic of mootles fucking a dead whale? Is this the sort of thing you people are into now?
Jesus. Are we really going all 4chan here in this thread? Do I need to post this pic of mootles fucking a dead whale? Is this the sort of thing you people are into now?
emosexy
+0 -0
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
flazisismuss
+2 -0
Making fun of Wikipedia is kind of low hanging fruit for the satirist, but Onstad gets the tone right. Sometimes Wikipedia reads like it was written by a committee comprised of 13-year-old shut-ins who just awoke from a vocabulary-by-hypnosis tape.
Making fun of Wikipedia is kind of low hanging fruit for the satirist, but Onstad gets the tone right. Sometimes Wikipedia reads like it was written by a committee comprised of 13-year-old shut-ins who just awoke from a vocabulary-by-hypnosis tape.
sje46
+0 -0
I get it!
Low hanging fruit.
Like bananas!
I get it!
Low hanging fruit.
Like bananas!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My banana hangs very low
My banana hangs very low
achilleselbow
+0 -1
lol r u blak
lol r u blak
sje46
+0 -0
:(
:(
pogo
+0 -0
The bigger the equipment, the sooner it fails, a.k.a. erectile disfunction. (I truly want this to be true!)
The bigger the equipment, the sooner it fails, a.k.a. erectile disfunction. (I truly want this to be true!)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
What the older man is saying is that he has small genitals and wishes fervently that they not stop working in the near future.
What the older man is saying is that he has small genitals and wishes fervently that they not stop working in the near future.
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
Or that he has sizable equipment and hopes it will stop working soon so the ladies will let him get some sleep.
Or that he has sizable equipment and hopes it will stop working soon so the ladies will let him get some sleep.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
ah hee, i am glad i was stingy with the ChubChubs over the past few days.
ah hee, i am glad i was stingy with the ChubChubs over the past few days.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Disagree. The xkcd strip basically just showed exactly what it's like without embellishment, Onstad invented several new concepts in the process.
Disagree. The xkcd strip basically just showed exactly what it's like without embellishment, Onstad invented several new concepts in the process.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Like what did he introduce?
Like what did he introduce?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I JUST WANNA KNOW HOW THE TWO DIFFER I MEAN THE ONLY THING I SEE DIFFERENT IS THAT ONE FEATURES A BEAR AND THE OTHER IS POORLY DRAWN.
ZING.
I JUST WANNA KNOW HOW THE TWO DIFFER I MEAN THE ONLY THING I SEE DIFFERENT IS THAT ONE FEATURES A BEAR AND THE OTHER IS POORLY DRAWN.
ZING.
sje46
+0 -0
He is a good artist.
He is a good artist.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Um, last time I checked The Guild of Purpose-Driven Commodores was neither a real show nor a real Wiki article? The xkcd strip just had random names of real articles. Its unstated punchline was "heh, that's true, you DO end up looking art articles completely unrelated to what you started with!" This strip captures the internal tone of articles, the absurdity of anime, and pegging all at once. Truly a remarkable feat.
Um, last time I checked The Guild of Purpose-Driven Commodores was neither a real show nor a real Wiki article? The xkcd strip just had random names of real articles. Its unstated punchline was "heh, that's true, you DO end up looking art articles completely unrelated to what you started with!" This strip captures the internal tone of articles, the absurdity of anime, and pegging all at once. Truly a remarkable feat.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Gruh, I don't want to be having this argument with youuuuu.
Have a chubbu.
Gruh, I don't want to be having this argument with youuuuu.
Have a chubbu.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Hey, you asked insistently in all caps, I felt like I had to provide an explanation. But thanks.
Hey, you asked insistently in all caps, I felt like I had to provide an explanation. But thanks.
jhunter
+0 -0
this strip works on many levels. an enigma code is established by means of the commodore sex act; yet to avoid alienating us, a common image is also established, that being the labyrinthine nature of wikipedia. it's like a bear trap coated in honey.
also, teodor thinks "my funky something" is appropriate appelation for his go-go-gonads. this is the wild card. our reaction to this can go either way.
this strip works on many levels. an enigma code is established by means of the commodore sex act; yet to avoid alienating us, a common image is also established, that being the labyrinthine nature of wikipedia. it's like a bear trap coated in honey.
also, teodor thinks "my funky something" is appropriate appelation for his go-go-gonads. this is the wild card. our reaction to this can go either way.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
I sense a moment of bonding, reflection and sudden understanding with Rod Huggins in Ray's intermediate future.
This moment may take place off-strip, but it's going to happen. Either way, Ray's gay porn is going to get a hell of a lot better.
I sense a moment of bonding, reflection and sudden understanding with Rod Huggins in Ray's intermediate future.
This moment may take place off-strip, but it's going to happen. Either way, Ray's gay porn is going to get a hell of a lot better.
plummet
+0 -0
Dear God how I want to say I didn't see a cartoon cat get commodore'd by a lady cat
Dear God how I want to say I didn't see a cartoon cat get commodore'd by a lady cat
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh, but that is indeed just what I see here
Oh, but that is indeed just what I see here
drskradley
+1 -0
TINA HAS A FINGER OR POSSIBLY MORE UP RAY'S ASS
There, I said it.
TINA HAS A FINGER OR POSSIBLY MORE UP RAY'S ASS
There, I said it.
tangles
+1 -0
Q: who doesn't love a lil prostate stimulation now and again?
A: women!
ha, i am lame
Q: who doesn't love a lil prostate stimulation now and again?
A: women!
ha, i am lame
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You might want to talk to every girl theirateturk has ever "known"
You might want to talk to every girl theirateturk has ever "known"
sje46
+0 -1
I've "known" a lot of girls! I know my Mommy and my sisters and my teacher Mrs. Finkelstein, and my eight year old neice Ashley ( sooo cute Miss Brown, the nice old widow who gives me darned socks every Christmas because she has no friends!
I wish that I will "know" more people in the future!
:)
I've "known" a lot of girls! I know my Mommy and my sisters and my teacher Mrs. Finkelstein, and my eight year old neice Ashley ( sooo cute Miss Brown, the nice old widow who gives me darned socks every Christmas because she has no friends!
I wish that I will "know" more people in the future!
:)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Strange, I've known all of them but Ashley. You'll have to introduce us in a coupla years
Strange, I've known all of them but Ashley. You'll have to introduce us in a coupla years
sje46
+0 -1
I'd . . .I would rather not. She is innocent, like I was once.
I'd . . .I would rather not. She is innocent, like I was once.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Why not now?
Why not now?
hedonismbot
+2 -0
I do not enjoy meeting 8-year-olds. They are third on my list of things I don't like to meet. they are still far less irritating than motherfuckingteenagersIcan'tfuckingstandthem , and of course, crazy-ass furries. An eight year old girl is a tiny, high pitched lump of glass that doesn't bath much and plays too much pretend. I will be interested in this Ashley when she is able to be shot in a war. Strange how the US correlates those things
I do not enjoy meeting 8-year-olds. They are third on my list of things I don't like to meet. they are still far less irritating than motherfuckingteenagersIcan'tfuckingstandthem , and of course, crazy-ass furries. An eight year old girl is a tiny, high pitched lump of glass that doesn't bath much and plays too much pretend. I will be interested in this Ashley when she is able to be shot in a war. Strange how the US correlates those things
drskradley
+0 -0
To keep you in character, you could "put her on layby".
To keep you in character, you could "put her on layby".
falseprophet
+3 -0
"Layby" sounds like what you do when you can't afford the labia right now but you will when your next paycheck comes.
"Layby" sounds like what you do when you can't afford the labia right now but you will when your next paycheck comes.
drskradley
+0 -0
"I'll just put your name on it and keep it up the back for you, ok?"
"I'll just put your name on it and keep it up the back for you, ok?"
falseprophet
+0 -0
Skrad I don't know if you're from the U.S. or not or if you even have the concept in England or Australia or Papua New Guinea or whereverthefuck but if the word 'layby' is a portmanteau using the word 'layaway' and not a real word from whatever version of English you speak/write in then I think we are in business.
Skrad I don't know if you're from the U.S. or not or if you even have the concept in England or Australia or Papua New Guinea or whereverthefuck but if the word 'layby' is a portmanteau using the word 'layaway' and not a real word from whatever version of English you speak/write in then I think we are in business.
drskradley
+0 -0
Yes. I am half-American, living in Australia.
As a result, my knowledge of what word belongs to what culture is so fucked up I thought "layby" was the American version and specifically used it instead of "layaway". I....just don't remember anymore.
Yes. I am half-American, living in Australia.
As a result, my knowledge of what word belongs to what culture is so fucked up I thought "layby" was the American version and specifically used it instead of "layaway". I....just don't remember anymore.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
massive chubs for "high pitched lump of glass"
massive chubs for "high pitched lump of glass"
qingofchina
+0 -0
Fuck me saturday.
Fuck me saturday.
solobuttons
+0 -0
GOF auctions just ended. Congratulations if we have any winners in here.
GOF auctions just ended. Congratulations if we have any winners in here.
tragicone
+0 -0
Anal play.
Anal play.
plummet
+0 -0
DR MANFLESH DESIRES IT
DR MANFLESH DESIRES IT
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
_POSTHASTE
_POSTHASTE
drskradley
+0 -0
_OR AS SOON AS WORKS FOR YOU NO PRESSURE
_OR AS SOON AS WORKS FOR YOU NO PRESSURE
tragicone
+0 -0
well... ok. If it's for manflesh.
well... ok. If it's for manflesh.
featurelessvoid
+17 -0
I've just posted a new release of my Assetbarista GreaseMonkey script for Firefox.
This new version, 0.5, adds one new feature: horizontal scrollbars for images within comments that are too wide to be seen. Assetbar already had most of the necessary machinery to support this feature. Assetbarista 0.5 just fixes a bug in a stylesheet to make it work.
I've just posted a new release of my Assetbarista GreaseMonkey script for Firefox.
This new version, 0.5, adds one new feature: horizontal scrollbars for images within comments that are too wide to be seen. Assetbar already had most of the necessary machinery to support this feature. Assetbarista 0.5 just fixes a bug in a stylesheet to make it work.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Considering the endless whingery on here about Firefox I hope you are endowed many glowing Chubbies/Chubbus/Chuppies.
Considering the endless whingery on here about Firefox I hope you are endowed many glowing Chubbies/Chubbus/Chuppies.
solobuttons
+0 -0
Chubbii
Chubbii
sje46
+0 -0
Chubsters.
Chubsters.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Erections
Erections
sje46
+0 -0
*gasp*
*gasp*
falseprophet
+1 -0
Dude you just revealed the sickly old man pulling the levers behind the curtain; you just straight laid all of our illusions bare.
I...I have to take stock...
Dude you just revealed the sickly old man pulling the levers behind the curtain; you just straight laid all of our illusions bare.
I...I have to take stock...
drskradley
+0 -0
Damn you, FP. When you mix succint, analogical prose with ebonics, the fact that you're black makes me feel like a phoney when I occasionally summon Ray-style 70's jive.
Does....does this ruin it? My mentioning that one of the reasons behind the humour is related to a minority racial culture that has taken one of the mantles of Being Funny in American-heavy Western society (arguably overtaking Jewish self-deprication in the past 30-odd years); is this going to make everyone in the circle look at their drinks and shuffle their feet in the awkward? All sayin' "aw shit, Skrad. I mean... shit , man. Don't go bringin' this."
Have I broken something in this conversation?
Damn you, FP. When you mix succint, analogical prose with ebonics, the fact that you're black makes me feel like a phoney when I occasionally summon Ray-style 70's jive.
Does....does this ruin it? My mentioning that one of the reasons behind the humour is related to a minority racial culture that has taken one of the mantles of Being Funny in American-heavy Western society (arguably overtaking Jewish self-deprication in the past 30-odd years); is this going to make everyone in the circle look at their drinks and shuffle their feet in the awkward? All sayin' "aw shit, Skrad. I mean... shit , man. Don't go bringin' this."
Have I broken something in this conversation?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
You C-C-C-Combo broke it with your liberal guilt, you panty-twisting pansy.
But, actually, I do think that this is an interesting topic but one on which I have nothing to say.
You C-C-C-Combo broke it with your liberal guilt, you panty-twisting pansy.
But, actually, I do think that this is an interesting topic but one on which I have nothing to say.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I find it interesting that "Jive Talk" doesn't register immediately on the racism meter. I wonder about that. 'Cause the whole Ching Chong Wing Wong, me so sowwy stuff really starts burning me up. God knows what's wrong with me/us.
I find it interesting that "Jive Talk" doesn't register immediately on the racism meter. I wonder about that. 'Cause the whole Ching Chong Wing Wong, me so sowwy stuff really starts burning me up. God knows what's wrong with me/us.
drskradley
+0 -0
I think "Jive Talk" refers to a certain anachronistic set of slang and pronunciation that nobody in the modern world, outside of blaxploitation films and situations lampooning this, actually speaks. If I, as a white dude, were to refer to the speech of a black dude in the 70's as "Jive", he could be justified for wanting to fuck me up.
"Ebonics", however, could be seen as quite offensive by some people. But I think the socio-political clime of Assetbar indicates that the majority of people would find the very idea of the term as amusing as I do.
I think "Jive Talk" refers to a certain anachronistic set of slang and pronunciation that nobody in the modern world, outside of blaxploitation films and situations lampooning this, actually speaks. If I, as a white dude, were to refer to the speech of a black dude in the 70's as "Jive", he could be justified for wanting to fuck me up.
"Ebonics", however, could be seen as quite offensive by some people. But I think the socio-political clime of Assetbar indicates that the majority of people would find the very idea of the term as amusing as I do.
falseprophet
+0 -0
See now this is interesting because my Roast Beef blog post that described Ray and Roast Beef's conversational tone as being an "idiosyncratic form of Ebonics" was psychologically Lamed by the NPR/Assetbar community as you can see by the comments posted therein. Or maybe it is simply that Ray talks more "Jive" than Roast Beef does.
See now this is interesting because my Roast Beef blog post that described Ray and Roast Beef's conversational tone as being an "idiosyncratic form of Ebonics" was psychologically Lamed by the NPR/Assetbar community as you can see by the comments posted therein. Or maybe it is simply that Ray talks more "Jive" than Roast Beef does.
le_baron_noir
+0 -0
I don't think I find the idea of the term "Ebonics" as amusing as you do. However, I would feel absolutely no inclination to fuck you up for saying the word "jive" at me.
Discuss.
I don't think I find the idea of the term "Ebonics" as amusing as you do. However, I would feel absolutely no inclination to fuck you up for saying the word "jive" at me.
Discuss.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Perhaps you would not fuck him up... But what about his shit? Would you fuck that up?
Perhaps you would not fuck him up... But what about his shit? Would you fuck that up?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Would you do it punk?
Would you take a stand, and fuck the Man?
Would you blow your cool, and fuck the rules?
Would you do it punk?
Would you take a stand, and fuck the Man?
Would you blow your cool, and fuck the rules?
sje46
+0 -0
Would you do it in a house?
Would you do it with a mouse?
Would you do it in a house?
Would you do it with a mouse?
le_baron_noir
+0 -0
Man, that shit's fucked up.
Man, that shit's fucked up.
drskradley
+0 -0
To explain, that sentence was meant to be more along the lines of "if this were the 70's, and I was a white dude and told a black dude he was speaking Jive, he would be justified for wanting to fuck me up. The term, I would assume, is more retro cliche nowadays (something that certainly doesn't always work for racial terminology, and certainly would depend on the context)."
I can see how "Ebonics" would be offensive in many social contexts, I chose to use it here because this is the Inter-Net and it's also Assetbar and I assumed most would appreciate the old-school Victorian-era scientific-classification flavour of it.
Again, normally not a flavour that tastes. "Negro/Negroid", "Mongoloid", "Chinaman", and "Red Indian" are all such terminology from that sort of era that would surely only result in cries of "sweet hell, what is wrong with you? "
To explain, that sentence was meant to be more along the lines of "if this were the 70's, and I was a white dude and told a black dude he was speaking Jive, he would be justified for wanting to fuck me up. The term, I would assume, is more retro cliche nowadays (something that certainly doesn't always work for racial terminology, and certainly would depend on the context)."
I can see how "Ebonics" would be offensive in many social contexts, I chose to use it here because this is the Inter-Net and it's also Assetbar and I assumed most would appreciate the old-school Victorian-era scientific-classification flavour of it.
Again, normally not a flavour that tastes. "Negro/Negroid", "Mongoloid", "Chinaman", and "Red Indian" are all such terminology from that sort of era that would surely only result in cries of "sweet hell, what is wrong with you? "
sje46
+0 -0
I used "Chinamen" on this page and did not recieve that response (for "Chinaman").
I used "Chinamen" on this page and did not recieve that response (for "Chinaman").
hedonismbot
+1 -0
The correct pronunciation is "Ching Chong Chinaman". The proper response is "Suck my surprisingly large cock, Roundeye". Then ask him to do your math and he'll ask you to devalue your currency and the two of you will be fast friends.
At least that is how I bond with half my co-workers
The correct pronunciation is "Ching Chong Chinaman". The proper response is "Suck my surprisingly large cock, Roundeye". Then ask him to do your math and he'll ask you to devalue your currency and the two of you will be fast friends.
At least that is how I bond with half my co-workers
sje46
+0 -0
Where do you work?
Where do you work?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
In a Math/Programming/WallStreet sort of thing. Everyone is not from this country. I am like, one of 6 white guys. I would add in the slurs used to bond with the Indian guys, but they might beat me up (they are not nearly as passive and peaceful as the stereotype would suggest, and there are a lot of them)
In a Math/Programming/WallStreet sort of thing. Everyone is not from this country. I am like, one of 6 white guys. I would add in the slurs used to bond with the Indian guys, but they might beat me up (they are not nearly as passive and peaceful as the stereotype would suggest, and there are a lot of them)
tekende
+0 -0
So they're a bit like the Indian/Middle Eastern/whatever guys in The 40-Year-Old Virgin ?
So they're a bit like the Indian/Middle Eastern/whatever guys in The 40-Year-Old Virgin ?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Hey hedonismbot, does that mean we can blame the current financial mess on you? Along with all the other more literal messes?
Hey hedonismbot, does that mean we can blame the current financial mess on you? Along with all the other more literal messes?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
All I know is that I got my current bigass house for a song and I made enough money to wipe God's ass and the devil too with creative shorting. At this point I don't need to worry if all the rest of the world rots.
Actually my company does analysis to prevent this sort of thing. All our serious clients managed to dodge it. In my mind, this is the fault of the French
All I know is that I got my current bigass house for a song and I made enough money to wipe God's ass and the devil too with creative shorting. At this point I don't need to worry if all the rest of the world rots.
Actually my company does analysis to prevent this sort of thing. All our serious clients managed to dodge it. In my mind, this is the fault of the French
irondave
+1 -0
"Chinaman" is no longer the preferred nomenclature, Dude.
"Chinaman" is no longer the preferred nomenclature, Dude.
tripleg
+1 -0
the chinaman is not the issue, here
the chinaman is not the issue, here
drskradley
+1 -0
Miss Tina, if you give me a "chinaman", I am sure it will be the finest chinaman ever received by any man.
Miss Tina, if you give me a "chinaman", I am sure it will be the finest chinaman ever received by any man.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I just realized this works with just about any word.
I just realized this works with just about any word.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
It is most diplomatic that way.
It is most diplomatic that way.
stereo
+0 -0
Word.
Word.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Would you say I speak in...Elbonics?
Would you say I speak in...Elbonics?
sje46
+0 -0
I see what you tried to do there.
I see what you tried to do there.
irondave
+0 -0
My discussion point is: Baron, where the hell have you been these past months? You should hang around more.
My discussion point is: Baron, where the hell have you been these past months? You should hang around more.
le_baron_noir
+0 -0
Well, Dave, I've always been more of a "stop in every once in awhile to say 'hey'" kind of guy; not just on the internet, but in all facets of life. It is My Way. And ever since I committed literally an entire day to this comic way back when, I've made it a point to keep a tighter leash on myself. I got too much to do to get lost like that, and with something this good it's all to easy.
But I'll be around.
Well, Dave, I've always been more of a "stop in every once in awhile to say 'hey'" kind of guy; not just on the internet, but in all facets of life. It is My Way. And ever since I committed literally an entire day to this comic way back when, I've made it a point to keep a tighter leash on myself. I got too much to do to get lost like that, and with something this good it's all to easy.
But I'll be around.
drskradley
+0 -0
When that happened I expected you to become a regular. I mean, it was just so damned impressive.
That and your boss avatar/name synchronisation. WWI flyboy stuff makes me happy in the pants. He's not even bothering with using the goggles, they're just there so that he can choose not to use them.
I totally understand what you're saying there, freaking oneself out with such spontaneous overt obsession on something, that you're like "whoa damn, can't do this" and finding a balance is a long way away. Been there, I hear ya.
When that happened I expected you to become a regular. I mean, it was just so damned impressive.
That and your boss avatar/name synchronisation. WWI flyboy stuff makes me happy in the pants. He's not even bothering with using the goggles, they're just there so that he can choose not to use them.
I totally understand what you're saying there, freaking oneself out with such spontaneous overt obsession on something, that you're like "whoa damn, can't do this" and finding a balance is a long way away. Been there, I hear ya.
aperson
+0 -0
Hush now, drskradley.
Hush now, drskradley.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I still think that was one of the funniest scenes in Airplane!
I still think that was one of the funniest scenes in Airplane!
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Excuse me, I speak jive
Excuse me, I speak jive
drskradley
+0 -0
Shit.
(Translation: "Golly!")
Shit.
(Translation: "Golly!")
magnetocat
+0 -0
hamscout
+0 -0
Jive ass dude don' got no brains anyhow .
Jive ass dude don' got no brains anyhow .
lechatbotte
+0 -0
He never asks for a second cup at home.
He never asks for a second cup at home.
sje46
+0 -0
Dad, your avatar is making me frown.
Dad, your avatar is making me frown.
stereo
+1 -1
He's cata thong ic!
He's cata thong ic!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
That was sensational. Have a lame.
That was sensational. Have a lame.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
The best part: It sings Bauhaus!
"Bela Logosi's dead!"
The best part: It sings Bauhaus!
"Bela Logosi's dead!"
pogo
+0 -0
Interesting, black ghetto rap type talk does seem to have replaced Jewish borscht-belt shtick in common humor! Think of all the stand-up being done by blacks, and how we never hear Henny Youngman stuff, take my Ebonics, please!
Interesting, black ghetto rap type talk does seem to have replaced Jewish borscht-belt shtick in common humor! Think of all the stand-up being done by blacks, and how we never hear Henny Youngman stuff, take my Ebonics, please!
hootplate
+0 -0
Chioggia.
Chioggia.
chuvak
+0 -0
I chubbied the fuck out of this man.
I chubbied the fuck out of this man.
epicurus
+0 -0
Oh my god this is perfect. The Wikipedia article is by far the crux of my week.
Oh my god this is perfect. The Wikipedia article is by far the crux of my week.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Quote:
Wikipedia knows what I went there to see.
Quote:
The series was cancelled after episode three, when it became clear that the studio was just panning the across the same two drawings, none of which featured Commodore Sex Act
Wikipedia knows what I went there to see.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I find it interesting that apparently Wikipedia has a specific article for "poorly produced Japanese action cartoon series". Or do you think it just redirects to the general article on anime?
I find it interesting that apparently Wikipedia has a specific article for "poorly produced Japanese action cartoon series". Or do you think it just redirects to the general article on anime?
sje46
+0 -0
I . . ..I already posted this comment.
I . . ..I already posted this comment.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Philippe, shame on you! Don't you know it's impolite to post comments before other people post the same one? Go to your room!
Philippe, shame on you! Don't you know it's impolite to post comments before other people post the same one? Go to your room!
sje46
+0 -0
But hedonismbot is in my room!
But hedonismbot is in my room!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I am the thing that makes this into punishment.
I hope this stuffed doll is washable
I am the thing that makes this into punishment.
I hope this stuffed doll is washable
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Don't talk to my son that way! Don't you know that if anyone's going to scar him for life, [i]that's my job![i]
(Now, go to your room, SJE!~)
Don't talk to my son that way! Don't you know that if anyone's going to scar him for life, [i]that's my job![i]
(Now, go to your room, SJE!~)
lechatbotte
+1 -0
However, fucking up BBCode is ALSO MY FUCKING JOB!!!
However, fucking up BBCode is ALSO MY FUCKING JOB!!!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
chubbied.
chubbied.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Actually it goes straight to the Beyblade page.
Actually it goes straight to the Beyblade page.
speccer
+0 -0
I remember watching one minute of that show. All I can remember is the grandfather talking like a "gangsta".
I remember watching one minute of that show. All I can remember is the grandfather talking like a "gangsta".
baryonyx
+0 -0
I saw the pilot episode of Beyblade once. I could not stop laughing for a week. They had to hospitalize me.
FUCK you Beyblade.
I saw the pilot episode of Beyblade once. I could not stop laughing for a week. They had to hospitalize me.
FUCK you Beyblade.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the animators were working in laughter-proof conditions, each one being given one frame at a time to work on in order to keep them from knowing the truth.
one of them saw a minute clip of it and spent several hours in the sick room.
the animators were working in laughter-proof conditions, each one being given one frame at a time to work on in order to keep them from knowing the truth.
one of them saw a minute clip of it and spent several hours in the sick room.
baryonyx
+0 -0
"I am going to go watch Beyblade. I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records, and also by the chanting of laments. The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me watching Beyblade."
"I am going to go watch Beyblade. I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records, and also by the chanting of laments. The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me watching Beyblade."
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...laments by the men of Q Division.
is that a legitimate division? they use that one a lot.
...laments by the men of Q Division.
is that a legitimate division? they use that one a lot.
baryonyx
+0 -0
I deliberated excised that passage seeing as I personally have no Q division to speak of.
I deliberated excised that passage seeing as I personally have no Q division to speak of.
fatfatcat
+0 -1
im gay
im gay
woodenteeth
+0 -0
That's just great.
In other news: I'm male. Just so you're up to date.
That's just great.
In other news: I'm male. Just so you're up to date.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Hah! That looks like an invitation...
my good commodore.
Hah! That looks like an invitation...
my good commodore.
hamscout
+0 -0
ooooowheeeeeeeeoooo
Permission to come aboard, sir?
ooooowheeeeeeeeoooo
Permission to come aboard, sir?
kickstart
+1 -0
We're here!
We're queer!
We want to get married on the ocean!
We're here!
We're queer!
We want to get married on the ocean!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
We're here...we're queer...APPLES!
We're here...we're queer...APPLES!
kickstart
+0 -0
I'ma have a apple. AND SOME COCK!
I'ma have a apple. AND SOME COCK!
kamet
+2 -0
I love ham.
I love ham.
dumase
+1 -0
How did we even get here.
I mean, it's like 10 updates later i am reading a comic about a cat posing as an arab cat, while a teddy bear seduces a female cat via cellphone and a voice altering donut.
I don't know what's worse. That Onstad didn't plan this. Or that Onstad planned this.
How did we even get here.
I mean, it's like 10 updates later i am reading a comic about a cat posing as an arab cat, while a teddy bear seduces a female cat via cellphone and a voice altering donut.
I don't know what's worse. That Onstad didn't plan this. Or that Onstad planned this.
dumase
+0 -0
(this should not be read as a "achewood SUCKS now" post)
(this should not be read as a "achewood SUCKS now" post)
theirateturk
+0 -0
BUT DUDE. COMMODORE SEX ACT LOL
[/guffaw]
BUT DUDE. COMMODORE SEX ACT LOL
[/guffaw]
aperson
+7 -0
theirateturk
+0 -0
EPIC ZING BRU
EPIC ZING BRU
aperson
+0 -0
Justabiddafun, turkie.
Justabiddafun, turkie.
saulbellow
+0 -0
What is this?
An extensive search of internet memes involving a basketball has turned up nothing, so this must be a specific reference that I simply do not get. Or it is just a non-sequitur. If that's the case:
What is this?
An extensive search of internet memes involving a basketball has turned up nothing, so this must be a specific reference that I simply do not get. Or it is just a non-sequitur. If that's the case:
stereo
+0 -0
TheIrateTurk's ex-girlfriend once knew a basketball team... biblically.
TheIrateTurk's ex-girlfriend once knew a basketball team... biblically.
chuvak
+0 -0
Oh man I heard his voice. What has been heard... can never be unheard.
Oh man I heard his voice. What has been heard... can never be unheard.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Hey! Glad you enjoyed it! We worked really hard on it and I was so glad when it finally aired.
When I woke up this morning and heard Steve Inskeep tease the Paul Newman remembrance at 6:00 AM I was all "Oh shit they are going to replace the interview with seven minutes of sucking the corpse of Paul Newman's dick" but that turned out not to be the case!
Hey! Glad you enjoyed it! We worked really hard on it and I was so glad when it finally aired.
When I woke up this morning and heard Steve Inskeep tease the Paul Newman remembrance at 6:00 AM I was all "Oh shit they are going to replace the interview with seven minutes of sucking the corpse of Paul Newman's dick" but that turned out not to be the case!
chuvak
+0 -0
Um are you Onstad or NPR? If you are NPR I love you. Shit, if you're Onstad I love you.
Does that mean NPR = Onstad?
I need to go think.
Um are you Onstad or NPR? If you are NPR I love you. Shit, if you're Onstad I love you.
Does that mean NPR = Onstad?
I need to go think.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Relax, friend. I am not Onstad but merely the voice who spreads his Word in public broadcasting.
Relax, friend. I am not Onstad but merely the voice who spreads his Word in public broadcasting.
sje46
+0 -0
Falseprophet is actually black.
The more you know!
(I only mention this because it proves that he can not be Onstad, who is a White. I'm not being racist! I swear!)
Falseprophet is actually black.
The more you know!
(I only mention this because it proves that he can not be Onstad, who is a White. I'm not being racist! I swear!)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm not racist, I just think that whites are God's chosen race.
I'm not racist, I just think that whites are God's chosen race.
sje46
+0 -0
It's not that I think blacks and chinamen are inherently inferior, just that I think whites are inherently superior.
It's not that I think blacks and chinamen are inherently inferior, just that I think whites are inherently superior.
aperson
+1 -0
Operation Loneal II: The Repulsion of Falseprophet.
My feelings on this asset are: ohforfucksakeno.
Operation Loneal II: The Repulsion of Falseprophet.
My feelings on this asset are: ohforfucksakeno.
pogo
+0 -0
I miss Loneal already. *Sniff*
I miss Loneal already. *Sniff*
sje46
+0 -0
I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be proud of something I'm a part of.
I'm sorry falseprophet! I like you guys! I really do! I wish I could get to meet one of you!
But umm.
*hug*
I'm a bad kid.
:(
I'm sorry. I'm just trying to be proud of something I'm a part of.
I'm sorry falseprophet! I like you guys! I really do! I wish I could get to meet one of you!
But umm.
*hug*
I'm a bad kid.
:(
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Meet one of you? Dude. Hush now.
Meet one of you? Dude. Hush now.
stereo
+0 -0
What do you mean, you people?
What do you mean, you people?
sje46
+0 -0
I meant people who aren't really prophets.
I meant people who aren't really prophets.
sje46
+0 -0
That was more of a joke as to the lack of diversity in the state of New Hampshire than an insult/joke directed at black people.
Okay.
I get it, now. I'm not being funny.
Sorry.
That was more of a joke as to the lack of diversity in the state of New Hampshire than an insult/joke directed at black people.
Okay.
I get it, now. I'm not being funny.
Sorry.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I'm with aperson on this one.
I'm with aperson on this one.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Falseprophet: our Man Deployed in Society.
Falseprophet: our Man Deployed in Society.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Steve Inskeep's brother works at my old high school! Tell him his brother is a pretty okay guy!
Steve Inskeep's brother works at my old high school! Tell him his brother is a pretty okay guy!
drmemory
+0 -0
Nice book plug on NPR this morning. Made me want to buy!
Nice book plug on NPR this morning. Made me want to buy!
keir
+0 -0
Hey, who wants to hear Onstad doing actual voices for Ray and Roast Beef? Now you can! A good interview, it is.
Hey, who wants to hear Onstad doing actual voices for Ray and Roast Beef? Now you can! A good interview, it is.
saulbellow
+0 -0
I didn't like the voices and I'm trying to forget them.
I didn't like the voices and I'm trying to forget them.
fuyukodachi
+0 -0
My curiosity got the best of me, and now -- oh god. Thankfully I have a very poor memory for voices and will only remember that I was horrified. Not the precise circumstances of my horror.
I like Chris' voice, by itself.
My curiosity got the best of me, and now -- oh god. Thankfully I have a very poor memory for voices and will only remember that I was horrified. Not the precise circumstances of my horror.
I like Chris' voice, by itself.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
The guy's not a voice actor, so I'm prepared to cut him some slack. I kinda like his Hedbergian mumble for Beef and his "fake brutha" accent for Ray. I would love to see his voice-cast wish-list.
Love and chubbies to FP for helping make the interview happen.
The guy's not a voice actor, so I'm prepared to cut him some slack. I kinda like his Hedbergian mumble for Beef and his "fake brutha" accent for Ray. I would love to see his voice-cast wish-list.
Love and chubbies to FP for helping make the interview happen.
pogo
+0 -0
I reviewed the interview elsewhere in this mess. My feelings were Pro.
I reviewed the interview elsewhere in this mess. My feelings were Pro.
mortshire
+0 -0
His Ray reminded me of a hoarse John DiMaggio. Which is an awesome idea, now that I think of it.
His Ray reminded me of a hoarse John DiMaggio. Which is an awesome idea, now that I think of it.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I quite prefer the idea of a horse John DiMaggio.
I quite prefer the idea of a horse John DiMaggio.
aperson
+0 -0
John 'Horse' DoggManiac.
John 'Horse' DoggManiac.
rowboat
+0 -0
His Beef voice for some reason reminded me immediately of Garrison Keillor's voice-over work in Ken Burns' The Civil War.
Not sure how I feel about that.
His Beef voice for some reason reminded me immediately of Garrison Keillor's voice-over work in Ken Burns' The Civil War.
Not sure how I feel about that.
sje46
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsmQHMoTUxQ
Yeah, I don't see it . . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsmQHMoTUxQ
Yeah, I don't see it . . . .
rowboat
+0 -0
Not surprising that you don't see it, as that link does not lead to an excerpt from Ken Burns' The Civil War, which I cited as a specific example. That is a dog's research, son.
Not surprising that you don't see it, as that link does not lead to an excerpt from Ken Burns' The Civil War, which I cited as a specific example. That is a dog's research, son.
sje46
+0 -0
He does sound a little different actually.
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
He does sound a little different actually.
You don't have to be a jerk about it.
rowboat
+0 -0
No. But it's a lot more fun.
No. But it's a lot more fun.
sje46
+0 -0
Was there any SHOCKING CONFESSIONS?
Was there any SHOCKING CONFESSIONS?
keir
+1 -0
He confessed that his wife writes the blogs and that he already has his kid working in the warehouse.
He confessed that his wife writes the blogs and that he already has his kid working in the warehouse.
wilbur
+0 -0
Damn, they really are pulling in a lot of readers, the main page is running SO slowly for me.
Damn, they really are pulling in a lot of readers, the main page is running SO slowly for me.
paperfishies
+0 -0
Ha. I just checked the main site and it's actually down right now. Good going, NPR! I BLAME THE LIBERAL MEDIA!
Ha. I just checked the main site and it's actually down right now. Good going, NPR! I BLAME THE LIBERAL MEDIA!
whiteturtle
+0 -0
google onstad npr it is online
google onstad npr it is online
chuvak
+0 -0
Alternately, follow the link on achewood.com
Alternately, follow the link on achewood.com
saulbellow
+0 -0
is that a website
is that a website
sje46
+0 -0
LOL WUT
LOL WUT
autrepoupee
+0 -0
there's a front page
there's a front page
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I prefer the back page.
I prefer the back page.
hamscout
+0 -0
...not if you listen to my wife...
...wait, what the hell?!?
...not if you listen to my wife...
...wait, what the hell?!?
saulbellow
+2 -0
I love that anyone visiting for the first time after hearing the NPR interview is getting treated to this . So just for the record:
I love that anyone visiting for the first time after hearing the NPR interview is getting treated to this . So just for the record:
speccer
+0 -0
In the NPR Interview , Onstad suggests the possibility of a GOF movie. (In the "More from Chris Onstad" section, "'Achewood' on the big screen?")
Jack Black as Ray Smuckles. Discuss.
In the NPR Interview , Onstad suggests the possibility of a GOF movie. (In the "More from Chris Onstad" section, "'Achewood' on the big screen?")
Jack Black as Ray Smuckles. Discuss.
sje46
+0 -0
. . .I don't know . . . .
. . .I don't know . . . .
saulbellow
+0 -0
Is he pseudo-black enough?
Is he pseudo-black enough?
aperson
+0 -0
Oh hail no.
Oh hail no.
stereo
+0 -0
Ray always had that touch of wealth that I'm not sure Black can convey. Otherwise, a good fit.
Wait, would it be animated cats voiced by people, or people in cat costumes?
Ray always had that touch of wealth that I'm not sure Black can convey. Otherwise, a good fit.
Wait, would it be animated cats voiced by people, or people in cat costumes?
aperson
+0 -0
Sheesh. Even George Clooney would be better Ray than Jack Black.
Sheesh. Even George Clooney would be better Ray than Jack Black.
stereo
+0 -0
Well I'm sorry for not agreeing with you.
Well I'm sorry for not agreeing with you.
aperson
+0 -0
I think we should both blame speccer for having the damn fool idea in the first place. Damnit speccer.
I think we should both blame speccer for having the damn fool idea in the first place. Damnit speccer.
speccer
+0 -0
Onstad himself suggested it. I just thought it was a funny thought. Personally, I can see how Black would be good, but much more clearly how he would be bad.
Onstad himself suggested it. I just thought it was a funny thought. Personally, I can see how Black would be good, but much more clearly how he would be bad.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
He can certainly do "manic enthusiasm", but Ray is for the most part a laid-back, chillaxed dude, which I'm not sure is in Black's range.
He can certainly do "manic enthusiasm", but Ray is for the most part a laid-back, chillaxed dude, which I'm not sure is in Black's range.
aperson
+0 -0
Damnit Onstad!
Damnit Onstad!
goro
+0 -0
Jack Black? A bit too nasal, I think. Just yesterday I decided Gene Hackman totally reminds me of Ray.
Jack Black? A bit too nasal, I think. Just yesterday I decided Gene Hackman totally reminds me of Ray.
chuvak
+0 -0
Especially when he says "Let's shag ass" in Royal Tenenbaums.
Especially when he says "Let's shag ass" in Royal Tenenbaums.
goro
+0 -0
Right, especially on that movie, is so obvious. Also, I can totally picture Gene Hackman ripping a dude's face off.
Right, especially on that movie, is so obvious. Also, I can totally picture Gene Hackman ripping a dude's face off.
speccer
+0 -0
Royal Tenenbaum was much more deceptive than Ray, so I don't see those roles being as analogous as you seem to imply.
Royal Tenenbaum was much more deceptive than Ray, so I don't see those roles being as analogous as you seem to imply.
tripleg
+0 -0
i don't think it would be out of character for ray to lie in order to re-seduce his life and try and put his family back together. after all, he is currently being given a sex-act by tina while dressed up as an arab prince and using t's voice via cell phone as part of an elaborate prank.
i don't think it would be out of character for ray to lie in order to re-seduce his life and try and put his family back together. after all, he is currently being given a sex-act by tina while dressed up as an arab prince and using t's voice via cell phone as part of an elaborate prank.
tripleg
+0 -0
*wife
*wife
tekende
+0 -0
Man, who hasn't tried to re-seduce his life at some time or another
Man, who hasn't tried to re-seduce his life at some time or another
pogo
+0 -0
Jack Black is a maniac with no depth. Maybe he could be Nice Pete.
Jack Black is a maniac with no depth. Maybe he could be Nice Pete.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
werd.
something with a Lee Marvin voice but kinda of a ghetto lingo.
werd.
something with a Lee Marvin voice but kinda of a ghetto lingo.
deusoma
+0 -0
I always thought the whole point of Nice Pete was that he remains completely calm unless you do something really stupid. I'm reminded of Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector, but that's just an example, as he would make a shitty Nice Pete.
I always thought the whole point of Nice Pete was that he remains completely calm unless you do something really stupid. I'm reminded of Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector, but that's just an example, as he would make a shitty Nice Pete.
sje46
+0 -0
How about Hugh Laurie?
How about Hugh Laurie?
gormster
+0 -0
A Brit? I don't think so. Ray is American. Ray is America.
Oh my god. Stephen Colbert?
A Brit? I don't think so. Ray is American. Ray is America.
Oh my god. Stephen Colbert?
sje46
+0 -0
Hmmm . . .maybe . . .
Hmmm . . .maybe . . .
hamscout
+4 -0
Nice Pete? Gotta be Malkovich...
Nice Pete? Gotta be Malkovich...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh man, seconded so hard .
Oh man, seconded so hard .
chuvak
+0 -0
Thirded.
Thirded.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh dude yes
I can't believe no one's thought of that before, it seems so obvious now.
Oh dude yes
I can't believe no one's thought of that before, it seems so obvious now.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Can Malkovich do a West Virginia accent, though?
Can Malkovich do a West Virginia accent, though?
tekende
+0 -0
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
baryonyx
+0 -0
I feel like Liam Neeson is a decent second choice.
I feel like Liam Neeson is a decent second choice.
tekende
+0 -0
...Why?
...Why?
baryonyx
+0 -0
His voice has the calm, meticulous quality.
His voice has the calm, meticulous quality.
stereo
+1 -0
Black as Lyle? I can picture him as a hole man.
Black as Lyle? I can picture him as a hole man.
gormster
+0 -0
Second. I can imagine Jack Black talking about how hard he threw up at a football.
Second. I can imagine Jack Black talking about how hard he threw up at a football.
speccer
+0 -0
Or playing a trumpet with his cock. Of course it would be a PG-13 view of the event; nobody wants to see the R-rated version. Not even Black himself.
Or playing a trumpet with his cock. Of course it would be a PG-13 view of the event; nobody wants to see the R-rated version. Not even Black himself.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yes he would.
yes he would.
keir
+0 -0
Philip Seymour Hoffman could NAIL Ray's character. He could nail it HARDCORE . No one could nail it as hardcore as him, even if they had the super nail gun from "Quake".
Philip Seymour Hoffman could NAIL Ray's character. He could nail it HARDCORE . No one could nail it as hardcore as him, even if they had the super nail gun from "Quake".
woodenteeth
+0 -0
*shudder*
*shudder*
tripleg
+0 -0
no
no
chuvak
+1 -0
Achewood dream casting. The animated Achewood movie would have the voice of Phil Harris as Ray (he did the voice of Little John the Bear in the Robin Hood animated feature, which is always how I hear Ray's voice in my head). He is passed on so someone would have to do a decent impression.
Achewood dream casting. The animated Achewood movie would have the voice of Phil Harris as Ray (he did the voice of Little John the Bear in the Robin Hood animated feature, which is always how I hear Ray's voice in my head). He is passed on so someone would have to do a decent impression.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Ray: Regis Philbin
Roast Beef: Foghorn Leghorn
Phillippe: Bobcat Goldthwait
Teodor: 50 Cent
there can be no argument
Ray: Regis Philbin
Roast Beef: Foghorn Leghorn
Phillippe: Bobcat Goldthwait
Teodor: 50 Cent
there can be no argument
falseprophet
+0 -0
Oh yes there can.
Oh yes there can.
whiteturtle
+2 -0
Ah say, ah say boy, ah say I jus' see a heapin' whole lot of apocalyptical type machinery, just a mowin' us down. Jus' a mowin us all down!
Ah say, ah say boy, ah say I jus' see a heapin' whole lot of apocalyptical type machinery, just a mowin' us down. Jus' a mowin us all down!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
soooooo gooooood
soooooo gooooood
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Is it wrong that I always read falseprophet posts as sounds coming out of a pale pink 1800s Irish policeman? They just seem to work that way.
Is it wrong that I always read falseprophet posts as sounds coming out of a pale pink 1800s Irish policeman? They just seem to work that way.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is it wrong to love a woman to the extent that one desires to remove her epidermis and fashion it into a waistcoat?
Is it wrong to love a woman to the extent that one desires to remove her epidermis and fashion it into a waistcoat?
gormster
+0 -0
Yes it is, Buffalo Bill.
Yes it is, Buffalo Bill.
sje46
+0 -0
Did someone say Bungalow Bill?
Did someone say Bungalow Bill?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Look what you did!
Look what you did!
sje46
+0 -0
Bobcat would make an excellent 5-year-old stuffed otter.
Bobcat would make an excellent 5-year-old stuffed otter.
aperson
+0 -0
I've said it before (sort of)
Todd: Joe Pesci.
I've said it before (sort of)
Todd: Joe Pesci.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
ok, that i can get behind. Joe Pesci or Steve Buscemi.
ok, that i can get behind. Joe Pesci or Steve Buscemi.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh my God. Steve Buscemi can do the stutter. We know this.
Cornelius: Sir Ian McKellen?
Oh my God. Steve Buscemi can do the stutter. We know this.
Cornelius: Sir Ian McKellen?
sje46
+0 -0
Is he still alive (tha is Obi-Wan, right?)
NO I WILL NOT GOOGLE IT.
Is he still alive (tha is Obi-Wan, right?)
NO I WILL NOT GOOGLE IT.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Frown.
Frown.
sje46
+0 -0
Sorry.
He is 69 (hee-hee) and still alive.
And not Obi-Wan.
I'm sorry; will you forgive me?!
And I'm going to Mack Plaque even though you said you're not. Because of a little thing called hope. Hope that I will meet someone from the Internet in real life.
Sorry.
He is 69 (hee-hee) and still alive.
And not Obi-Wan.
I'm sorry; will you forgive me?!
And I'm going to Mack Plaque even though you said you're not. Because of a little thing called hope. Hope that I will meet someone from the Internet in real life.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Christ, lad, he's Gandalf. This is something even your generation needs to know. However, confusing him with Sir Guinness is indeed a decent parallel. I'm just glad you didn't confuse him with some third rate Brit like Hugh Grant. That would earn you a paddlin
Christ, lad, he's Gandalf. This is something even your generation needs to know. However, confusing him with Sir Guinness is indeed a decent parallel. I'm just glad you didn't confuse him with some third rate Brit like Hugh Grant. That would earn you a paddlin
sje46
+0 -0
I confuse all sirs unless they are Sir Paul McCartney. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.
I confuse all sirs unless they are Sir Paul McCartney. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Inspired pick. I was going to say Michael Kane, but upon comparison I think Kane lacks a certain poise that Cornelius has.
Inspired pick. I was going to say Michael Kane, but upon comparison I think Kane lacks a certain poise that Cornelius has.
hamscout
+0 -0
Aw c'mon! Can't you hear it? Kane would be sweet!
" Ruprecht!? Do you want the genital cuff?? "
Aw c'mon! Can't you hear it? Kane would be sweet!
" Ruprecht!? Do you want the genital cuff?? "
irondave
+0 -0
Are you guys trying to talk about Michael Caine?
Are you guys trying to talk about Michael Caine?
kamet
+0 -0
It hurt me too, Dave.
It hurt me too, Dave.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, god. I didn't have to realise that. Look what you've done! Now my brain is coming out
Oh, god. I didn't have to realise that. Look what you've done! Now my brain is coming out
hamscout
+0 -0
Crap. I spent all that time looking up how to correctly spell "Ruprecht", and I didn't notice the Caine... I guess we all deserve a good caine-ing.
Crap. I spent all that time looking up how to correctly spell "Ruprecht", and I didn't notice the Caine... I guess we all deserve a good caine-ing.
tekende
+0 -0
I know the response you want here. I will not give it to you.
I know the response you want here. I will not give it to you.
sje46
+0 -0
That's my cousin's name.
What a dumb name.
That's my cousin's name.
What a dumb name.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Didn't we decide at some point that it'd be Kelsey Grammer?
Didn't we decide at some point that it'd be Kelsey Grammer?
speccer
+0 -0
That sounds familiar. Cornelius is like Frasier, just more reserved and much less buffoonish.
That sounds familiar. Cornelius is like Frasier, just more reserved and much less buffoonish.
kamet
+0 -0
Kelsey I think is a little too... uptight for Cornelius. Too buffonish in general, as Speccer said.
Kelsey I think is a little too... uptight for Cornelius. Too buffonish in general, as Speccer said.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Cornelius is more of a soft spoken/big impact kinda guy.
Cornelius is more of a soft spoken/big impact kinda guy.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Precisely. Ian McKellen would be perfect.
For Ramses, I'm trying to think of someone who could provide a deeper version of Tommy Lee Jones in No Country for Old Men.
Precisely. Ian McKellen would be perfect.
For Ramses, I'm trying to think of someone who could provide a deeper version of Tommy Lee Jones in No Country for Old Men.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Scott Bakula, Tom Selleck or John Goodman
Scott Bakula, Tom Selleck or John Goodman
tekende
+0 -0
Ramses is voiced by none other than Chuck Norris.
Ramses is voiced by none other than Chuck Norris.
speccer
+0 -0
We want good voice actors for this occasion.
Specifically to Chuck Norris and only to Chuck Norris: That, sir, is why you are perfect for this role.
I just mean, Ramses Luther and the "legend" Chuck Norris are practically the same, but Ramses Luther and the "actor" Chuck Norris are rather different.
We want good voice actors for this occasion.
Specifically to Chuck Norris and only to Chuck Norris: That, sir, is why you are perfect for this role.
I just mean, Ramses Luther and the "legend" Chuck Norris are practically the same, but Ramses Luther and the "actor" Chuck Norris are rather different.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Ramses is James Earl Jones. That's easy.
Ramses is James Earl Jones. That's easy.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was thinking Mr. T.
I was thinking Mr. T.
teabag_mel
+0 -0
Laurence Tierney would be perfect for Ramses if he weren't inconveniently dead.
Laurence Tierney would be perfect for Ramses if he weren't inconveniently dead.
tunafreedolphin
+0 -0
I could also hear Cornelius as Patrick Stewart
I could also hear Cornelius as Patrick Stewart
lechatbotte
+0 -0
NO!
NO!
hamscout
+0 -0
And lechatbotte turns his back on Patrick Stewart...
This is the saddest thing...
And lechatbotte turns his back on Patrick Stewart...
This is the saddest thing...
baryonyx
+1 -0
It's settled then. Patrick Stewart shall play Phillipe.
His head is the proper shape and everything.
It's settled then. Patrick Stewart shall play Phillipe.
His head is the proper shape and everything.
hamscout
+3 -0
Chubbied for making me imagine Cap'n Picard saying:
"Here comes a special boy"
Chubbied for making me imagine Cap'n Picard saying:
"Here comes a special boy"
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Not so, Hammy! I flat out adore Patrick Stewart from first encounter in STNG years ago, but he is no Cornelius. His delivery is, if anything, too powerful for this gentleman bear with untold depth and history.
Like I said, this needs a distinctive voice that is mild, but still imbued with depth and while soft spoken, leaves a huge wake. Patrick gets two out of three here, but NO!
Not so, Hammy! I flat out adore Patrick Stewart from first encounter in STNG years ago, but he is no Cornelius. His delivery is, if anything, too powerful for this gentleman bear with untold depth and history.
Like I said, this needs a distinctive voice that is mild, but still imbued with depth and while soft spoken, leaves a huge wake. Patrick gets two out of three here, but NO!
baryonyx
+0 -0
If you're like me, when I suggest this, you will not be able to un-hear it in the dialogue.
Showbiz: Seth Green.
If you're like me, when I suggest this, you will not be able to un-hear it in the dialogue.
Showbiz: Seth Green.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
No, because Seth Green is a horrible "voice actor" who is only able to do one voice (his own) in different pitches and/or different levels of annoyance.
I can't pick any celebrity voice for Showbiz, but I can pick two people I've known who practically are Showbiz in real life and either one would be perfect: Tony R. or Aaron "Donkey Punch" K.
Actually, I think a dark horse candidate could be Bill Paxton if he could channel his mid-80's typecast self. Think of Weird Science and Aliens, when he plays a wannabe macho douchebag who's really a pussy. I can't stop comparing the "game over, man, GAME OVER" bit from Aliens to him voicing Showbiz saying "Car!? Car? You don't get it, do you Beef!"
No, because Seth Green is a horrible "voice actor" who is only able to do one voice (his own) in different pitches and/or different levels of annoyance.
I can't pick any celebrity voice for Showbiz, but I can pick two people I've known who practically are Showbiz in real life and either one would be perfect: Tony R. or Aaron "Donkey Punch" K.
Actually, I think a dark horse candidate could be Bill Paxton if he could channel his mid-80's typecast self. Think of Weird Science and Aliens, when he plays a wannabe macho douchebag who's really a pussy. I can't stop comparing the "game over, man, GAME OVER" bit from Aliens to him voicing Showbiz saying "Car!? Car? You don't get it, do you Beef!"
rowboat
+0 -0
Sadly, the Aliens side of Paxton is as gone as the Aliens side James Cameron. They've both sunk too low to recapture their glory days.
OK - Big Love is pretty decent, but more in spite of Paxton than because of him, I'd say.
Sadly, the Aliens side of Paxton is as gone as the Aliens side James Cameron. They've both sunk too low to recapture their glory days.
OK - Big Love is pretty decent, but more in spite of Paxton than because of him, I'd say.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
I could really hear Luis Guzman doing Showbiz.
I could really hear Luis Guzman doing Showbiz.
kickstart
+0 -0
I just watched The Dark Backward, and can confirm that Bill Paxton is a horse dogg maniac .
I just watched The Dark Backward, and can confirm that Bill Paxton is a horse dogg maniac .
tekende
+0 -0
I'm sorry, but Seth Green is just...just awful. In every way possible.
I'm sorry, but Seth Green is just...just awful. In every way possible.
sje46
+0 -0
Come now. He's a decent guy. He means no harm.
Come now. He's a decent guy. He means no harm.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Yes! Exactly! Why do you think I suggested him for Showbiz??
God, people.
Yes! Exactly! Why do you think I suggested him for Showbiz??
God, people.
tekende
+0 -0
But Showbiz needs to be a guy we love to hate, kind of like Pat.
I do not love to hate Seth Green. I hate him, and I hate hating him. I hate that he exists.
But Showbiz needs to be a guy we love to hate, kind of like Pat.
I do not love to hate Seth Green. I hate him, and I hate hating him. I hate that he exists.
belgand
+3 -0
I want a proper voice actor to play Ray. I'd have to get some of the top talent in and audition them to see how they want to do the character and then see what might work. Celebrity voices are a poor substitute for someone who knows how to work in their specific medium.
I want a proper voice actor to play Ray. I'd have to get some of the top talent in and audition them to see how they want to do the character and then see what might work. Celebrity voices are a poor substitute for someone who knows how to work in their specific medium.
cdumas
+0 -0
I would not watch Jack Black as Ray.
I would not watch Jack Black as Ray.
tekende
+0 -0
Y'know, now that I think about it, I think Seth Rogen might be a good choice for Ray, although I also think that belgand's thinking is on the right track.
Y'know, now that I think about it, I think Seth Rogen might be a good choice for Ray, although I also think that belgand's thinking is on the right track.
desert_donkey
+0 -2
meh. 1'd this one.
i've been saying all along that tina seems like the kinda trashy bitch that is ass-oriented. well...
meh. 1'd this one.
i've been saying all along that tina seems like the kinda trashy bitch that is ass-oriented. well...
aperson
+0 -0
Contrarian iconoclasm. This is how you do it, people.
Contrarian iconoclasm. This is how you do it, people.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Guess who's ready to do the Commodore Sex Act?
Help me out here, Candians...
Guess who's ready to do the Commodore Sex Act?
Help me out here, Candians...
fineoakstructure
+13 -0
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This should have far more chubbies.
This should have far more chubbies.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah only i'm not so comfortable doing that.
yeah only i'm not so comfortable doing that.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i drew a fac on ma and din put ma pen-pen n2 it.
man i m gon b alan 4 deh rest o mah libe...
i drew a fac on ma and din put ma pen-pen n2 it.
man i m gon b alan 4 deh rest o mah libe...
sje46
+0 -0
You drew your face on your mom and put your "pen-pen " into it?
And now you're going to be Alan for the rest of your life?
You don't say.
You drew your face on your mom and put your "pen-pen " into it?
And now you're going to be Alan for the rest of your life?
You don't say.
retro
+1 -0
"I drew a face on my hand, then put my peen-peen into it. Man, I am gonna be alone for the rest of my life..."
Although I am intruiged by the concept of one being Alan for the rest of one's life. An Alan with and Oedipus complex, no less.
Wait a second...Oedipus Rex : Gladi8or Rex...we might be onto something here folks!
"I drew a face on my hand, then put my peen-peen into it. Man, I am gonna be alone for the rest of my life..."
Although I am intruiged by the concept of one being Alan for the rest of one's life. An Alan with and Oedipus complex, no less.
Wait a second...Oedipus Rex : Gladi8or Rex...we might be onto something here folks!
sje46
+1 -0
I suspect that perhaps everything glad has said has been a Freudian Slip.
Who is Alan? Is it his father perhaps, who touched him as a little child? And now he wants to kill him and take his place so he can put his "peen-peen" into his mother?
I suspect that perhaps everything glad has said has been a Freudian Slip.
Who is Alan? Is it his father perhaps, who touched him as a little child? And now he wants to kill him and take his place so he can put his "peen-peen" into his mother?
stereo
+0 -0
He doesn't need Freud to say that kind of thing.
Quote:
He doesn't need Freud to say that kind of thing.
Quote:
i's will leab and comment 4 ma footur-self. footure-self? lol, 'member those times u had, well, i hasn't had dem yet cuz altho dey r in ur past dey are steel ma footore. anyways jus wantid 2 say i love u an dat ur a sexy rockstar stay live to read dis l8r in life.
yourself form deh past, cecil gonzales. Time Capsule
p.s., at dis time ur also in lub wit a woman half ur age an ur only 18 :O yikes, u mite luk bak on dis as creepy, but whatever
yourself form deh past, cecil gonzales. Time Capsule
p.s., at dis time ur also in lub wit a woman half ur age an ur only 18 :O yikes, u mite luk bak on dis as creepy, but whatever
perilon
+0 -0
A comment left by perilon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, dumase, QingofChina, pointy_stick)
A comment left by perilon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, dumase, QingofChina, pointy_stick)
falseprophet
+0 -0
It is a perfect ... blogo!
It is a perfect ... blogo!
gladi8orrex
+4 -0
(omg dis gusys bolg is deh wors)
(omg dis gusys bolg is deh wors)
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
I chubbied this.
Not because perilon's blog is the worst, but because I laughed so hard that I leaked soda out of my nose when I read it.
I chubbied this.
Not because perilon's blog is the worst, but because I laughed so hard that I leaked soda out of my nose when I read it.
gormster
+1 -0
Chubbying g8x is like doing laundry with the Devil.
uh
i don't know why
Chubbying g8x is like doing laundry with the Devil.
uh
i don't know why
kickstart
+0 -0
you scrub and scrub but you never get clean
you scrub and scrub but you never get clean
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Um, because he puts his reds in with your whites? Because he always asks to borrow some change? Because he steals your undies when you aren't looking?
Wait, that last one is me. Sorry bout that ladies.
Um, because he puts his reds in with your whites? Because he always asks to borrow some change? Because he steals your undies when you aren't looking?
Wait, that last one is me. Sorry bout that ladies.
pogo
+0 -0
Dang, humor is a lot harder than Letterman makes it look.
Dang, humor is a lot harder than Letterman makes it look.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Letterman is funny?
Letterman is funny?
speccer
+0 -0
He was in Pogo's time.
He was in Pogo's time.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
As a kid, I got grounded for watching Letterman. That's how funny he was back in the day. Now get off my lawn you damn kids.
As a kid, I got grounded for watching Letterman. That's how funny he was back in the day. Now get off my lawn you damn kids.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Holy crap, he really could not get any less funny these days. And why does that musician friend of his EVEN OPEN HIS MOUTH!
Holy crap, he really could not get any less funny these days. And why does that musician friend of his EVEN OPEN HIS MOUTH!
riazm
+0 -0
Did people harsh on this perilon character so hard that his blog has shrunken and now overall disappeared?
Because that is not cool .
Did people harsh on this perilon character so hard that his blog has shrunken and now overall disappeared?
Because that is not cool .
rowboat
+0 -0
Damn! It looks like it! That is cold! I mean, I wasn't rolling on the floor or anything, but it wasn't bad at all.
But, to be fair, anyone who has spent any significant amount of time here should be well aware of the potential pitfalls and humiliations of blatant self-promotion. It is a simple fact. I still can't believe that the guy who linked to his Achewood-themed hip hop track on Myspace a little while ago got away with his soul intact.
Damn! It looks like it! That is cold! I mean, I wasn't rolling on the floor or anything, but it wasn't bad at all.
But, to be fair, anyone who has spent any significant amount of time here should be well aware of the potential pitfalls and humiliations of blatant self-promotion. It is a simple fact. I still can't believe that the guy who linked to his Achewood-themed hip hop track on Myspace a little while ago got away with his soul intact.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea but that was actually pretty good.
Yea but that was actually pretty good.
sje46
+0 -0
Do you guys want to read my online novel?
Do you guys want to read my online novel?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Sure!
(Looks it up.)
"The . . ."
Come back tomorrow for the next word in installment two!
Sure!
(Looks it up.)
"The . . ."
Come back tomorrow for the next word in installment two!
sje46
+0 -0
Installment two is the best part!
Installment two is the best part!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I have some Bible fan-fiction I can link. But it gets pretty blue, so the timid or virginal might want to find something less criminal
I have some Bible fan-fiction I can link. But it gets pretty blue, so the timid or virginal might want to find something less criminal
achilleselbow
+0 -0
My junk gets pretty blue sometimes.
My junk gets pretty blue sometimes.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
It may get blue, but trust me, it ain't that pretty!
It may get blue, but trust me, it ain't that pretty!
kamet
+1 -0
I just blue myself.
I just blue myself.
perilon
+0 -0
The answer is that when I sobered up I realized I'd written some incomprehensible crap ON THE INTERNET OF ALL PLACES which should never have seen the light of day. I deep-sixed that bad idea as soon as I could, I sure didn't need this forum to tell me what was what. Maybe one day I'll have an idea worth actually writing down... but I doubt it. Until then, just a line of lames will remain to mark the memory of one man's "blog" folly one fine autumnal evening.
The answer is that when I sobered up I realized I'd written some incomprehensible crap ON THE INTERNET OF ALL PLACES which should never have seen the light of day. I deep-sixed that bad idea as soon as I could, I sure didn't need this forum to tell me what was what. Maybe one day I'll have an idea worth actually writing down... but I doubt it. Until then, just a line of lames will remain to mark the memory of one man's "blog" folly one fine autumnal evening.
mrchee
+0 -0
After days of deliberation on this board, is it now safe to classify this as pegging?
After days of deliberation on this board, is it now safe to classify this as pegging?
skoora
+0 -0
Damn, Tina, you are a ho
Damn, Tina, you are a ho
lechatbotte
+0 -0
and Ray may find that a good thing. Now, if he hasn't been recognized, how does he ask Tina to do this commodore thing to Ray?
Maybe he will start an affair with her, and then get jealous of himself (a la Erma la Douce - the film that gave us the movie rating system when theaters were shut down for showing it!) and then kill the "prince", and land in trouble. This has many possibilities. . . .
and Ray may find that a good thing. Now, if he hasn't been recognized, how does he ask Tina to do this commodore thing to Ray?
Maybe he will start an affair with her, and then get jealous of himself (a la Erma la Douce - the film that gave us the movie rating system when theaters were shut down for showing it!) and then kill the "prince", and land in trouble. This has many possibilities. . . .
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
[b]I[/i]rma la Douce. Not that I'm one to nitpick; I totally pronounced it like "douche" to an old lady looking to buy it once, at my old job.
Really, I thought that was how it was pronounced - she wasn't too pleased. I didn't have a lot of options.
[b]I[/i]rma la Douce. Not that I'm one to nitpick; I totally pronounced it like "douche" to an old lady looking to buy it once, at my old job.
Really, I thought that was how it was pronounced - she wasn't too pleased. I didn't have a lot of options.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
oh DANG
I rma I I I I
oh DANG
I rma I I I I
pogo
+0 -0
To all the new members who came here after the NPR interview, we're not always like this ... yes we are ... and the strip is seldom about obscure sex acts ... yes it is. Wel-cum!
To all the new members who came here after the NPR interview, we're not always like this ... yes we are ... and the strip is seldom about obscure sex acts ... yes it is. Wel-cum!
sje46
+0 -0
It's funny because he misspelled welcom!
It's funny because he misspelled welcom!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Wellcum?
Wellcum?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
weclome!
weclome!
sje46
+0 -0
Wilcume!
Wilcume!
baryonyx
+0 -0
LoCmewbahez!
LoCmewbahez!
rowboat
+0 -0
We'll cum.
We'll cum.
kamet
+0 -0
Perry Como.
Perry Como.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
?
!
?
!
falseprophet
+0 -0
Pogo is *~* Assetbar's Ambassador To All New Readers Who Count Their Age By Putting 'Genarian In The Title. *~*
Pogo is *~* Assetbar's Ambassador To All New Readers Who Count Their Age By Putting 'Genarian In The Title. *~*
gormster
+0 -0
I am a vicenarian .
I am a vicenarian .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
when you think about it, being able to pull three episodes of panning like that is sort of incredible.
when you think about it, being able to pull three episodes of panning like that is sort of incredible.
cdumas
+0 -0
Featurelessvoid's Assetbarista shore does those trend index graphs easier to read. Thanks, dude.
Featurelessvoid's Assetbarista shore does those trend index graphs easier to read. Thanks, dude.
sje46
+0 -0
You are quite rad.
You are quite rad.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the name is, 'doom-ahhs'
the name is, 'doom-ahhs'
thisisgross
+0 -1
plummet
+0 -0
blankpoastan
blankpoastan
sje46
+0 -0
Are you my cousin? You look like my cousin. If so, I do not like you. If not, Hi.
Are you my cousin? You look like my cousin. If so, I do not like you. If not, Hi.
cdumas
+0 -0
I am far more [charming] and [intelligent] than your cousin. Unless he is Superman.
I am far more [charming] and [intelligent] than your cousin. Unless he is Superman.
sje46
+0 -0
He is the Green Lantern.
He is the Green Lantern.
tekende
+1 -0
He's the Got-No-Green Lantern!
He's the Got-No-Green Lantern!
rachel
+0 -0
man, I am pretty certain he's getting rimmed
man, I am pretty certain he's getting rimmed
autrepoupee
+0 -0
i don't mean to challenge your knowledge of rimming but it does not necessitate lotion
also, come on, Tina is the aggressor in this relationship.
i don't mean to challenge your knowledge of rimming but it does not necessitate lotion
also, come on, Tina is the aggressor in this relationship.
riazm
+0 -0
Did anyone's achewood rss feed update today? And they noticed that Ray's Place was now integrated with the feed? Does this mean the return...of Ray's place?
Did anyone's achewood rss feed update today? And they noticed that Ray's Place was now integrated with the feed? Does this mean the return...of Ray's place?
mattylite
+0 -0
Me.
(Mine did)
Me.
(Mine did)
ghostlystate
+0 -0
I think it's just an internet fart. My feed used to have the main strip and Ray's Place, for some reason, and now it has the last four strips and the last four "Ray's Place"'s
I think it's just an internet fart. My feed used to have the main strip and Ray's Place, for some reason, and now it has the last four strips and the last four "Ray's Place"'s
keir
+0 -0
My RSS feed as of today has the latest 10 strips instead of the latest 1.
My RSS feed as of today has the latest 10 strips instead of the latest 1.
ghostlystate
+0 -0
Apparently, I can't count. It actually has the last five of each category. Maybe your feed is the same?
Apparently, I can't count. It actually has the last five of each category. Maybe your feed is the same?
tekende
+0 -0
Ray's Place is coming back! It wants to get the family together!
Ray's Place is coming back! It wants to get the family together!
ashoykh
+0 -0
it's nooN!!!!
it's nooN!!!!
speccer
+0 -0
Noon-oh-nine to be exact. Oops, just turned Noon-ten.
Noon-oh-nine to be exact. Oops, just turned Noon-ten.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Are...are you guys time travelers?
Are...are you guys time travelers?
saulbellow
+0 -0
You guys reply to one another with a spooky frequency.
(91.5 SPOOK FM)
You guys reply to one another with a spooky frequency.
(91.5 SPOOK FM)
kamet
+1 -0
The distant future.
The year 2000.
The distant future.
The year 2000.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Concho-chub
Concho-chub
sje46
+0 -0
Conan's replacing Leno.
Conan's replacing Leno.
saulbellow
+0 -0
That were no Conan reference, son.
That were no Conan reference, son.
sje46
+0 -0
It can be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87soTsQjf5Y
It can be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87soTsQjf5Y
saulbellow
+0 -0
No, the reference was clearly to the song "The Humans Are Dead" by Flight of the Conchords. The quote (including the periods indicating unnaturally truncated, robotic statements) is from the first part of the song.
No, the reference was clearly to the song "The Humans Are Dead" by Flight of the Conchords. The quote (including the periods indicating unnaturally truncated, robotic statements) is from the first part of the song.
sje46
+0 -0
Or it can have two references.
But you're right. I actually have heard that song and enjoyed it. It is "funny".
Or it can have two references.
But you're right. I actually have heard that song and enjoyed it. It is "funny".
saulbellow
+0 -0
I acknowledge that you've called a truce on this, but when she led with "the distant future" she was clearly going for Conchords and not Conan.
If including the words "the year 2000" were enough to incorporate any other reference with those words, you might as well have responded with "Yeah! Bush v. Gore! I remember that!"
By the way, if it's not already obvious at this point, I'm just being stupid.
I acknowledge that you've called a truce on this, but when she led with "the distant future" she was clearly going for Conchords and not Conan.
If including the words "the year 2000" were enough to incorporate any other reference with those words, you might as well have responded with "Yeah! Bush v. Gore! I remember that!"
By the way, if it's not already obvious at this point, I'm just being stupid.
sje46
+0 -0
It did sound familiar, and I knew it wasn't a reference to Conan, but that was the only thing I could think of.
It did sound familiar, and I knew it wasn't a reference to Conan, but that was the only thing I could think of.
speccer
+0 -0
It actually made me think of the episode of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law; specifically, the one where he represents the Jetsons. Though, that was "the far-off year of 2000", not the distant future.
Assuming memory serves.
It actually made me think of the episode of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law; specifically, the one where he represents the Jetsons. Though, that was "the far-off year of 2000", not the distant future.
Assuming memory serves.
kamet
+0 -0
Finally, robotic beings rule the world.
Finally, robotic beings rule the world.
ashoykh
+1 -0
Christ Onstad...PENCILS DOWN!
Christ Onstad...PENCILS DOWN!
sweetlips
+1 -0
HAPPY FUCKIN' BIRTHDAY ACHEWOOD.
HAPPY FUCKIN' BIRTHDAY ACHEWOOD.
sje46
+4 -0
Oh my!
You are right!
Achewood, I got you a little foam thing where if you drop your keys in a lake they will float.
Oh my!
You are right!
Achewood, I got you a little foam thing where if you drop your keys in a lake they will float.
ghostlystate
+0 -0
Happity Bibirthdayee Achewood!
Happity Bibirthdayee Achewood!
lateadopter
+0 -0
Achewood - stretching the meaning of "noon" since 2001.
Achewood - stretching the meaning of "noon" since 2001.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Stretching the meaning of Tuesday evening since like, the 40s
Stretching the meaning of Tuesday evening since like, the 40s
xaero
+0 -0
I can't help but think that a "Commodore" is just some odd type of massage, and not sexual at all.
I am a sick man.
I can't help but think that a "Commodore" is just some odd type of massage, and not sexual at all.
I am a sick man.
chaesar
+0 -0
NPR listeners are going to come to this site on a tip, and be immediately exposed to a story of a teddy bear helping a young Fidel Castro conspire to get fisted in a hotel room. This should go well.
NPR listeners are going to come to this site on a tip, and be immediately exposed to a story of a teddy bear helping a young Fidel Castro conspire to get fisted in a hotel room. This should go well.
saulbellow
+1 -0
They'll love it. They love their Castro almost as much as they loved their Teddy Roosevelt.
They'll love it. They love their Castro almost as much as they loved their Teddy Roosevelt.
awksedperl
+0 -0
But they don't love Teddy as much as they love Franklin. But probably neither as much as Fidel.
But they don't love Teddy as much as they love Franklin. But probably neither as much as Fidel.
speccer
+0 -0
Teddy was awesome. He did rather well running for a third term, considering he was a third party candidate. If he were alive to participate, he'd give Connie a run for his money in the Badass Games.
Teddy was awesome. He did rather well running for a third term, considering he was a third party candidate. If he were alive to participate, he'd give Connie a run for his money in the Badass Games.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
thisistheworst
+0 -0
A comment left by thisistheworst was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HamScout, hedonismbot, chivalress, ActualTaunt, atticusonline, whiteturtle, pointy_stick, mrblank91, skiddysmith, Shinkicka)
A comment left by thisistheworst was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HamScout, hedonismbot, chivalress, ActualTaunt, atticusonline, whiteturtle, pointy_stick, mrblank91, skiddysmith, Shinkicka)
saulbellow
+0 -0
I used up my lame allotment but COME ON HE IS FIVE
I used up my lame allotment but COME ON HE IS FIVE
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I gotcho back. Lamed to oblivion
I gotcho back. Lamed to oblivion
tekende
+2 -0
Why would you think of that though
Why did you think of that
Why would you think of that though
Why did you think of that
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I chubbied it because I am a fan of using MS Paint to make Terrible Things. This is even worse than my Beef/Showbiz mashup.
I chubbied it because I am a fan of using MS Paint to make Terrible Things. This is even worse than my Beef/Showbiz mashup.
tripleg
+0 -0
i laughed, but was out of chubbies. you're a sick, sick woman.
i laughed, but was out of chubbies. you're a sick, sick woman.
puguglypress
+0 -0
She wasn't being sick. That's just what a "commodore" generally refers to.
She wasn't being sick. That's just what a "commodore" generally refers to.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, speccer, ActualTaunt, Jar, achilleselbow, skiddysmith)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, speccer, ActualTaunt, Jar, achilleselbow, skiddysmith)
achilleselbow
+0 -1
It is a small price to pay.
It is a small price to pay.
daidai
+0 -0
When one asks not to be lamed, one is asking to be lamed.
Plus this guy is kind of a twat.
When one asks not to be lamed, one is asking to be lamed.
Plus this guy is kind of a twat.
skiddysmith
+0 -1
assholes are kinda like twats
assholes are kinda like twats
desert_donkey
+0 -0
hence your admission to liking ass sex via laming me.
*sigh*.. world coming to an end [again]
hence your admission to liking ass sex via laming me.
*sigh*.. world coming to an end [again]
sje46
+0 -0
Guys! A triple comic will appear 2 hours ago from now(California time!)!
Guys! A triple comic will appear 2 hours ago from now(California time!)!
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Anyone know why I can't view today's strip if I'm logged in? Sad face.
Anyone know why I can't view today's strip if I'm logged in? Sad face.
gothicdance
+0 -1
haz ne1 enjoyed such as tha blumpkin
haz ne1 enjoyed such as tha blumpkin
puguglypress
+0 -0
i have had blumkin
i have had blumkin
A comment left by the_dude was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, meddle, gladi8orrex, lambchop, kylank, ActualTaunt, rustmouth, Wolfslice, NumberKillinger, campincarl, Frankreich)
Inadvisable
A comment left by jaspermeer was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, wneal, ActualTaunt, mystkmanat, rodneystubbs, PresrvdKillick)
Is that sexxy tho
1/2$
It certainly wasn't in this campy 1970s comedy ...