anticitizen
+8 -0
that's one sorrowful pillow.
that's one sorrowful pillow.
deus
+1 -0
Yeah, im beginning to think the emotion the pillow shows isnt accidental.
Yeah, im beginning to think the emotion the pillow shows isnt accidental.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
;(
;(
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
At least the chap didn't eat his last words from a can.
At least the chap didn't eat his last words from a can.
mikeleffel2
+30 -0
This is the worst Folgers commercial ever.
This is the worst Folgers commercial ever.
hbananaplus
+1 -0
It's the best part of dying as a favor to the world.
It's the best part of dying as a favor to the world.
lexsenthur
+5 -0
The worst part of never waking up.
Is the cooling folgers in your cup that you will never drink from again.
The worst part of never waking up.
Is the cooling folgers in your cup that you will never drink from again.
belgand
+0 -0
I have often thought that the worst part of dying (well, aside from dying at all) is not being able to know that you're dead.
All like never being able to notice when you fall asleep or, for that matter, have been asleep except for when you wake up.
I have often thought that the worst part of dying (well, aside from dying at all) is not being able to know that you're dead.
All like never being able to notice when you fall asleep or, for that matter, have been asleep except for when you wake up.
puguglypress
+0 -0
good avatar/comment synergy, mikeleffel2
good avatar/comment synergy, mikeleffel2
wazza
+10 -2
The gelatinous man prepares the drink.
The cat sniffs, then takes a sip.
Vinegar and paper pours. Down. His. Throat.
OOOOHHH SHIIIT!
The gelatinous man prepares the drink.
The cat sniffs, then takes a sip.
Vinegar and paper pours. Down. His. Throat.
OOOOHHH SHIIIT!
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
he knew the punchline, and it ruined the joke.
he knew the punchline, and it ruined the joke.
wazza
+0 -0
I thought about pulling out the review of Beef's life he found in the Kangaroos, but I felt the best tribute was poetry in the style of the man himself
I thought about pulling out the review of Beef's life he found in the Kangaroos, but I felt the best tribute was poetry in the style of the man himself
groen
+2 -0
"This flawed perfection is sufficient and complete in every single ineffable moment."
End of file.
... *weeps*
"This flawed perfection is sufficient and complete in every single ineffable moment."
End of file.
... *weeps*
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Quote:
I prefer f-able moments myself.
Quote:
every single ineffable moment
I prefer f-able moments myself.
rude_mechanical
+0 -0
This cat's been down before.
This cat's been down before.
deus
+0 -0
Indeed, he wernt in heven before. In heaven his neck sorely wernt broken.
Indeed, he wernt in heven before. In heaven his neck sorely wernt broken.
homepie
+11 -0
You can't tell, but the audience member roller-skated here.
You can't tell, but the audience member roller-skated here.
deus
+1 -0
NOO! LIVE BEEF LIVE!!!
NOO! LIVE BEEF LIVE!!!
deus
+1 -0
SOMEONE GIVE THE MAN MORE DATA STREAMS!!
SOMEONE GIVE THE MAN MORE DATA STREAMS!!
deus
+1 -1
deus
+1 -1
BEEF!
BEEF!
deus
+0 -0
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, HonestTom, Stonecrab, Zoltan, icecube)
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, HonestTom, Stonecrab, Zoltan, icecube)
deus
+0 -0
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, HonestTom, Stonecrab, Zoltan, icecube)
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, HonestTom, Stonecrab, Zoltan, icecube)
deus
+0 -0
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, Stonecrab, Zoltan, icecube)
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, Stonecrab, Zoltan, icecube)
philophobe
+4 -0
Alright, man, what the fuck is this all about? As I'm scrolling down the page here, it looks like you're setting up a game of avatar dominoes.
Alright, man, what the fuck is this all about? As I'm scrolling down the page here, it looks like you're setting up a game of avatar dominoes.
choco
+1 -0
that was actually original what deus did there, and all he gets is lamed for it. what gladi8orrex said the other day about people who only tear down other's efforts but never make the effort themselves, that was true
that was actually original what deus did there, and all he gets is lamed for it. what gladi8orrex said the other day about people who only tear down other's efforts but never make the effort themselves, that was true
deus
+0 -0
Well, actually i was just accidental pressed the post-it button to many time.
Then wondered what i should do with the extra blankies...
Oh well im just happy for the attention.
Well, actually i was just accidental pressed the post-it button to many time.
Then wondered what i should do with the extra blankies...
Oh well im just happy for the attention.
thegoblins
+1 -0
I like it. The urgency comes across. People are just laming him for taking up too much space because they must have everything in a perfect tidy little box.
I like it. The urgency comes across. People are just laming him for taking up too much space because they must have everything in a perfect tidy little box.
octafish
+0 -0
Go and clean your room!
Go and clean your room!
thegoblins
+0 -0
eff you grandpa!
eff you grandpa!
choco
+1 -0
the pussy said box...
the pussy said box...
belgand
+0 -0
Please keep it in the litter box young lady. I know learning can be tough, but if I get toxoplasmosis I'm blaming you.
Please keep it in the litter box young lady. I know learning can be tough, but if I get toxoplasmosis I'm blaming you.
icecube
+0 -0
I lamed deus because he used up too many posts for one man. What he did puts us on a slippery slope to ten pages of ASCII art.
I lamed deus because he used up too many posts for one man. What he did puts us on a slippery slope to ten pages of ASCII art.
deus
+1 -0
say...thats an idea.
say...thats an idea.
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
noooo_oo_oo
+2 -0
GAH
FAIL OVERLOAD
Continue (y/n)? N
GAME OVER
GAH
FAIL OVERLOAD
Continue (y/n)? N
GAME OVER
newspaperdrone
+2 -0
Wow, that audience member is basically the worst kind of asshole.
Wow, that audience member is basically the worst kind of asshole.
woodenteeth
+4 -0
I'm pretty sure that's Beef thinking "No that all sounds trite, just go", it just happens to pan to the audience in that panel because Beef realises he has to say something in front of an audience.
I'm pretty sure that's Beef thinking "No that all sounds trite, just go", it just happens to pan to the audience in that panel because Beef realises he has to say something in front of an audience.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I agree, if only because that is a very odd sentence to shout across an auditorium.
Roast Beef is more scared of public speaking than he is of death, and I'm sure he's not the only one.
I agree, if only because that is a very odd sentence to shout across an auditorium.
Roast Beef is more scared of public speaking than he is of death, and I'm sure he's not the only one.
lateadopter
+0 -0
As someone pointed out last week, that is most likely Old Roast Beef in the audience, so both propositions could be true.
As someone pointed out last week, that is most likely Old Roast Beef in the audience, so both propositions could be true.
hateandwar
+0 -0
There's nothing in his word bubbles pointing towards him, so those must all be Beef's thoughts.
There's nothing in his word bubbles pointing towards him, so those must all be Beef's thoughts.
belgand
+0 -0
While CH surely has something else going on here he certainly didn't spend the time to do any proper publicity. He learned about the lash and Beef was in bed and dying that very night. I mean, Ray got an invitation, but he was having to rush across town just to be able to get there.
I guess partly because Onstad didn't want to do another series of strips of build-up right after his last series sort of built up and then went nowhere leading into this, but still... this feels kinda half-assed.
Does it really make sense for Beef to die in any other manner though?
While CH surely has something else going on here he certainly didn't spend the time to do any proper publicity. He learned about the lash and Beef was in bed and dying that very night. I mean, Ray got an invitation, but he was having to rush across town just to be able to get there.
I guess partly because Onstad didn't want to do another series of strips of build-up right after his last series sort of built up and then went nowhere leading into this, but still... this feels kinda half-assed.
Does it really make sense for Beef to die in any other manner though?
choco
+0 -0
not half assed. it's totally a weird and extravagant and creepy and eccentric thing to do, to put on a performance in a large theater for an audience of 1.
not half assed. it's totally a weird and extravagant and creepy and eccentric thing to do, to put on a performance in a large theater for an audience of 1.
camidumas
+0 -0
Naw, I've known of the entire six hours of Angels in America being staged for audiences of fewer than a half dozen people. People in amateur theatre just like putting on a show.
Naw, I've known of the entire six hours of Angels in America being staged for audiences of fewer than a half dozen people. People in amateur theatre just like putting on a show.
askingman
+8 -0
Shadowy figure in the audience, come on down! You're the next contestant on the Lash of Thanatos!
Shadowy figure in the audience, come on down! You're the next contestant on the Lash of Thanatos!
westsider8
+0 -0
I thought we already determined that the shadowy figure was Beef's inner self. That's why he knows what his final thoughts were despite not saying them aloud. And by we I mean I.
I thought we already determined that the shadowy figure was Beef's inner self. That's why he knows what his final thoughts were despite not saying them aloud. And by we I mean I.
dangelder
+0 -0
It's from the strip about Beef seeing how he feels about himself in the picture. He looks like a guy who rides a Honda Goldwing and collects swords, or something.
It's from the strip about Beef seeing how he feels about himself in the picture. He looks like a guy who rides a Honda Goldwing and collects swords, or something.
maltese
+0 -0
Beef? Beeeeeeeef
Beef? Beeeeeeeef
melatonin
+3 -0
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!
dun dun duh-duh dun - DUN DUN DUN
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!
dun dun duh-duh dun - DUN DUN DUN
hatstand_mcq
+35 -1
Ray dies of brain injuries. Teodor is eaten, alive and screaming, by coyotes. Cornelius is taken away by the police, and put in a nursing home to live out his last days, alone in his small single bed. The cheerful and officious nurses deny him alcohol, tobacco, and any book not published by Reader's Digest. Lyle's heart bursts in a fog of amphetamines and Tennessee whiskey. Philippe goes back to live with his mother, to learn why homosexuality and Catholicism makes Jesus cry. Emeril moves to Florida with a new girlfriend and Spongebath never really laughs again.
Ray dies of brain injuries. Teodor is eaten, alive and screaming, by coyotes. Cornelius is taken away by the police, and put in a nursing home to live out his last days, alone in his small single bed. The cheerful and officious nurses deny him alcohol, tobacco, and any book not published by Reader's Digest. Lyle's heart bursts in a fog of amphetamines and Tennessee whiskey. Philippe goes back to live with his mother, to learn why homosexuality and Catholicism makes Jesus cry. Emeril moves to Florida with a new girlfriend and Spongebath never really laughs again.
anticitizen
+8 -0
the tears they do come, but they are not often.
the tears they do come, but they are not often.
newspaperdrone
+3 -0
Todd gets busted running smack in his van, goes to prison and ends up in hell after a fatal altercation with a man named Shivvin' Smith.
Todd gets busted running smack in his van, goes to prison and ends up in hell after a fatal altercation with a man named Shivvin' Smith.
wazza
+8 -0
Pat realises his one true love is Nice Pete, and they run away to Mexico, where Cropes gets a job working for a drug cartel as a "fixer", while Pat forever ruins Nachos. Rod, heartbroken, takes the first job that will get him out of California, and contracts fast-acting syphilis on the first shoot of Bareback Busboy Nights III.
Pat realises his one true love is Nice Pete, and they run away to Mexico, where Cropes gets a job working for a drug cartel as a "fixer", while Pat forever ruins Nachos. Rod, heartbroken, takes the first job that will get him out of California, and contracts fast-acting syphilis on the first shoot of Bareback Busboy Nights III.
kotoku
+12 -0
Further down the line Pat breaks Nice Pete's heart when he finds out Nice Pete has "barber" in his ancestry. In return Nice Pete breaks Pat's neck.
Further down the line Pat breaks Nice Pete's heart when he finds out Nice Pete has "barber" in his ancestry. In return Nice Pete breaks Pat's neck.
jeffspaulding
+2 -0
Lets forget all the other machinations and just have Pete break Pat's neck!
Lets forget all the other machinations and just have Pete break Pat's neck!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I'll bring beer!
I'll bring beer!
kotoku
+0 -0
I'm taking Pat's snazzy hat.
I'm taking Pat's snazzy hat.
wazza
+1 -0
Is caviar pretty good stuff, kotoku?
I am interested in your adoptable dog.
Is caviar pretty good stuff, kotoku?
I am interested in your adoptable dog.
camidumas
+0 -0
I am interested in Evelyn, a modified dog.
I am interested in Evelyn, a modified dog.
kotoku
+0 -0
Get out of my shower, whipper snapper!
Get out of my shower, whipper snapper!
crom
+0 -0
So, you have imagine all this as a montage set to a weepy indie song, just like the end of Six Feet Under.
So, you have imagine all this as a montage set to a weepy indie song, just like the end of Six Feet Under.
wozzeck
+8 -0
Polly is jailed for attempting to bust Cornelius out of the home. It's a rough experience for an attractive young lady alone in the world. The day they cut her loose, she goes down to The Smoke to drown her sorrows. By the time she leaves it's dark out, as she turns a corner her headlights flash across The Dude and Catastrophe, a dark spot among the brightly lit storefronts. The empty and unlit windows suddenly seem to swallow some part of her, a part she thought would always be safe with Cornelius. She bursts into tears, horrible, heaving, sobbing tears, and at the next intersection her cabriolet is pulverized by a speeding truck.
Cornelius waits, back at the home. He knows she's not legally allowed to visit him now, and that the staff intercept all the letters he knows she must write him. Still, he waits. He'll see her again.
Polly is jailed for attempting to bust Cornelius out of the home. It's a rough experience for an attractive young lady alone in the world. The day they cut her loose, she goes down to The Smoke to drown her sorrows. By the time she leaves it's dark out, as she turns a corner her headlights flash across The Dude and Catastrophe, a dark spot among the brightly lit storefronts. The empty and unlit windows suddenly seem to swallow some part of her, a part she thought would always be safe with Cornelius. She bursts into tears, horrible, heaving, sobbing tears, and at the next intersection her cabriolet is pulverized by a speeding truck.
Cornelius waits, back at the home. He knows she's not legally allowed to visit him now, and that the staff intercept all the letters he knows she must write him. Still, he waits. He'll see her again.
deus
+1 -0
DAMN YOU MAN! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
DAMN YOU MAN! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
wozzeck
+0 -0
I will admit I rather upset myself in writing that.
I will admit I rather upset myself in writing that.
scorpio_nadir
+4 -0
Beef is transported to the Bardo of Circumstances. Once more, he is put back on the merry-go-round.
Molly finds out she's pregnant, and Beef returns as his own son.
OHHHHHH, SHIITTTTTT!!
Beef is transported to the Bardo of Circumstances. Once more, he is put back on the merry-go-round.
Molly finds out she's pregnant, and Beef returns as his own son.
OHHHHHH, SHIITTTTTT!!
thegoblins
+0 -0
Everyone...stop! I'm sad enough as it is :(
Everyone...stop! I'm sad enough as it is :(
belgand
+0 -0
Yes, we all saw Being John Malkovich as well.
Yes, we all saw Being John Malkovich as well.
aliiis
+2 -0
Philiiiippe! NOOOOOO!
Philiiiippe! NOOOOOO!
deus
+0 -0
I ....i dont know if i should chubby you or lame you!
I
DONT
KNOW
I ....i dont know if i should chubby you or lame you!
I
DONT
KNOW
aarongstock
+0 -1
Liebot! Nooooooooooo!
Liebot! Nooooooooooo!
fresco
+7 -0
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D07282006
The man in the audience is beef.
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D07282006
The man in the audience is beef.
jacques_schitt
+0 -0
*sudden intake of breath*
*sudden intake of breath*
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
Shit! You're right:
[IMGS OFF]
And I thought it was Lester Young:
[IMGS OFF]
Shit! You're right:
[IMGS OFF]
And I thought it was Lester Young:
[IMGS OFF]
chico
+6 -0
Roast Beef and Pork pie - you're making me hungry.
Roast Beef and Pork pie - you're making me hungry.
teller
+3 -0
chico
+2 -0
Hey! You is not the regular guy.
Hey! You is not the regular guy.
granularsilica
+1 -0
Best sax I ever had.
Best sax I ever had.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Ho ho, dear readers. Maybe Beef's Mexican realistic self will save him. Or merge with him.
Ho ho, dear readers. Maybe Beef's Mexican realistic self will save him. Or merge with him.
saurkraus
+0 -0
That's what I thought too, he's certainly his own worst enemy.
That's what I thought too, he's certainly his own worst enemy.
wazza
+0 -0
it cannot be; the audience member makes use of capital letters
it cannot be; the audience member makes use of capital letters
hamscout
+0 -0
As we get older, we all speak in capital letters...
WE NEVER OWNED A BUICK! GO TO HELL!
As we get older, we all speak in capital letters...
WE NEVER OWNED A BUICK! GO TO HELL!
professorhazard
+1 -0
https://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
https://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
This is great, prof-
Quote:
This is great, prof-
Quote:
"Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."
anticitizen
+0 -0
see and raise!
https://twitter.com/andy_rooney
"I remember a time when everyone had a puppet. Sometimes a whole gaggle of them. But everybody had at least one. What's happening to America?"
see and raise!
https://twitter.com/andy_rooney
"I remember a time when everyone had a puppet. Sometimes a whole gaggle of them. But everybody had at least one. What's happening to America?"
choco
+0 -0
has twitter fixed that bug yet where anyone can execute any malicious java and take over your browser? if not I'd stay off twitter for a while
has twitter fixed that bug yet where anyone can execute any malicious java and take over your browser? if not I'd stay off twitter for a while
anticitizen
+0 -0
I'm also beginning to think that Twitter actually gets some sort of revenue from their bi-weekly DOS attacks.
I'm also beginning to think that Twitter actually gets some sort of revenue from their bi-weekly DOS attacks.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Best said in a Jackie Mason voice.
Best said in a Jackie Mason voice.
mensch
+0 -0
Being nearly a rabbi, I doubt he would handle bacon.
Being nearly a rabbi, I doubt he would handle bacon.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Oh the irony.
Oh the irony.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In Soviet Russia, Bacon handles rabbis!
In Soviet Russia, Bacon handles rabbis!
caleb
+3 -0
I noted this on August 17.
I am glad I am not the only one.
[IMGS OFF]
I noted this on August 17.
I am glad I am not the only one.
[IMGS OFF]
aliiis
+1 -0
Aw, mama, can this really be the end?
Aw, mama, can this really be the end?
happyidiot
+0 -0
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters, to me
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters, to me
appers
+3 -0
To be drinking poisoned paper with the lash of 'Tos again?
To be drinking poisoned paper with the lash of 'Tos again?
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Your comment caused me to remember, and put on, the Cat Power cover of Stuck Inside of Mobile. Thank you for that.
Your comment caused me to remember, and put on, the Cat Power cover of Stuck Inside of Mobile. Thank you for that.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Cat Power covered that? Rad.
I wish Karen O's cover of "Highway 61 Revisited" was better.
But it ain't.
Cat Power covered that? Rad.
I wish Karen O's cover of "Highway 61 Revisited" was better.
But it ain't.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
It's unjust that it's her most well-known song, though.
It's unjust that it's her most well-known song, though.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I much prefer her covers. I think she is a much better singer than she is a songwriter. Her cover of Silver Stallion is a major contender for one of my Desert Island Discs (in the frankly remote contingency that I get invited onto the programme).
I much prefer her covers. I think she is a much better singer than she is a songwriter. Her cover of Silver Stallion is a major contender for one of my Desert Island Discs (in the frankly remote contingency that I get invited onto the programme).
stereo
+0 -0
Interesting way of covering Satisfaction too..
Interesting way of covering Satisfaction too..
rowboat
+0 -0
I like Cat Power a lot, but there is no reason to listen to her cover of that song instead of the original. None.
P.S. I couldn't disagree more with your assessment of Chan Marshall's songwriting ability. That may have been true once, but You Are Free pretty decisively changed that, I think.
I like Cat Power a lot, but there is no reason to listen to her cover of that song instead of the original. None.
P.S. I couldn't disagree more with your assessment of Chan Marshall's songwriting ability. That may have been true once, but You Are Free pretty decisively changed that, I think.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That's dismissing Moon Pix and What Would the Community Think. I disapprove.
That's dismissing Moon Pix and What Would the Community Think. I disapprove.
rowboat
+0 -0
The former hinted overwhelmingly at her ability. I was never huge on the latter. Free just cemented it is all I'm sayin'.
The former hinted overwhelmingly at her ability. I was never huge on the latter. Free just cemented it is all I'm sayin'.
rowboat
+0 -0
Anyway, what's-his-name up there is the one who casted disparagement on her songwriting chops. Why you grousin' at me?
Anyway, what's-his-name up there is the one who casted disparagement on her songwriting chops. Why you grousin' at me?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm... afraid of Hatstand MCQ. I don't know what he might do to me.
I'm... afraid of Hatstand MCQ. I don't know what he might do to me.
rowboat
+0 -0
Turophobic much?
Turophobic much?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hells no! Frankly I'm afraid of the cheese embargo I'll likely have to go on during my year in Japan.
Hells no! Frankly I'm afraid of the cheese embargo I'll likely have to go on during my year in Japan.
dybrar
+3 -0
No moral.
No moral.
granularsilica
+0 -1
Quote:
To be stuck outside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again.
Quote:
Aw, mama, can this really be the end?
To be stuck outside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again.
mensch
+0 -0
wearing your Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat?
wearing your Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat?
kotoku
+0 -0
RIP Roast Beef.
RIP Roast Beef.
kotoku
+0 -2
Also, "Stricture" is a typo. :X
Also, "Stricture" is a typo. :X
hamscout
+2 -1
UR MOMS A TPO
2. something that closely restrains or limits: <social strictures>
UR MOMS A TPO
2. something that closely restrains or limits: <social strictures>
kotoku
+0 -0
Wanting money in public is a breach of social restraints? Maybe.
Wanting money in public is a breach of social restraints? Maybe.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
What did you think he was going for?
What did you think he was going for?
aliiis
+0 -0
I too am confused by this claim! 'Strictures'? It pretty much could not be anything else.
(also hello i_l_k, my main british homey)
I too am confused by this claim! 'Strictures'? It pretty much could not be anything else.
(also hello i_l_k, my main british homey)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
(And hello to you too, Aliiis, my sister from another mister.)
(And hello to you too, Aliiis, my sister from another mister.)
changuitotuerto
+0 -0
But can it be the next Goot?
But can it be the next Goot?
belgand
+0 -0
No, not yet. The finals for America's Next Top God aren't until next week.
Oh shit, I totally misread on accident. Fuck it.
No, not yet. The finals for America's Next Top God aren't until next week.
Oh shit, I totally misread on accident. Fuck it.
kotoku
+0 -0
Is this the saddest thing?
Is this the saddest thing?
icicole
+2 -0
This might be sadder than a frog plucking a banjo.
This might be sadder than a frog plucking a banjo.
kotoku
+2 -0
Or a little boy who is crushed by a toilet into the shape of an egg and then says something quite sweet in his dying breath which is construed as very sad because of the circumstances.
Or a little boy who is crushed by a toilet into the shape of an egg and then says something quite sweet in his dying breath which is construed as very sad because of the circumstances.
aarongstock
+0 -0
(she's trying to make a point here)
(she's trying to make a point here)
dojocasino
+1 -0
Don't kill off Beef, he's the best one
Don't kill off Beef, he's the best one
chubbied
+0 -0
Comment left by chubbied ignored.
Comment left by chubbied ignored.
choco
+4 -1
Chubbied, you are on the global ignore list. this means that all of your posts past and future are automatically ignored for everyone. If you wish for anyone to read anything you post, you have to create a new account.
Chubbied, you are on the global ignore list. this means that all of your posts past and future are automatically ignored for everyone. If you wish for anyone to read anything you post, you have to create a new account.
wazza
+1 -1
You are most excellently considerate, Choco
(I am not Chubbied. I am, however, chubbied, to the point that I have more chubbies than I have made comments. This pleases me.)
You are most excellently considerate, Choco
(I am not Chubbied. I am, however, chubbied, to the point that I have more chubbies than I have made comments. This pleases me.)
nostatusnoclass
+0 -0
A comment left by nostatusnoclass was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Absurdist, chivalress, noooo_oo_oo, greatjob, GoriasXY, usversusthem, eidolem, emosexy, Comrade_Tom)
A comment left by nostatusnoclass was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Absurdist, chivalress, noooo_oo_oo, greatjob, GoriasXY, usversusthem, eidolem, emosexy, Comrade_Tom)
newspaperdrone
+1 -1
Dude chill out, this is the internet.
Dude chill out, this is the internet.
kharbevnor
+0 -0
Well, he did get basically banned for doing things that are pretty much harmless, so the business is clearly fairly serious.
What happens if someone denies the holocaust?
Well, he did get basically banned for doing things that are pretty much harmless, so the business is clearly fairly serious.
What happens if someone denies the holocaust?
kharbevnor
+0 -0
Well, he did get basically banned for doing things that are pretty much harmless, so the business is clearly fairly serious.
What happens if someone denies the holocaust?
Well, he did get basically banned for doing things that are pretty much harmless, so the business is clearly fairly serious.
What happens if someone denies the holocaust?
kharbevnor
+1 -0
okay that was not a good time to press f5 obviously.
okay that was not a good time to press f5 obviously.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Jesus someone tell Kennan over here to cram it with the long telegrams.
I'll chubby anyone who gets that reference.
Jesus someone tell Kennan over here to cram it with the long telegrams.
I'll chubby anyone who gets that reference.
shelbydavis
+1 -0
In Soviet Russia, Treasury Department telegrams YOU!
In Soviet Russia, Treasury Department telegrams YOU!
thegoblins
+0 -0
What is this from?
What is this from?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Telegram
I was obscurely satirising the length and faux profundity of nostatusnoclass' post.
Just goes to show cold war foreign policy is hardly my "A material".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Telegram
I was obscurely satirising the length and faux profundity of nostatusnoclass' post.
Just goes to show cold war foreign policy is hardly my "A material".
shelbydavis
+0 -0
It's okay. A friend of mine once made a comment online about contra dancing, and I made a horrible FSLN pun.
It's okay. A friend of mine once made a comment online about contra dancing, and I made a horrible FSLN pun.
mensch
+7 -0
Quote:
How about we make it 24 -- the day I met your wife (also 25, 26, etc.)
Quote:
In memorial of me, I would be pleased if the lames from Tuesday's post be increased to twenty-three, that being . . . the date I met my wife
How about we make it 24 -- the day I met your wife (also 25, 26, etc.)
invidious
+0 -0
What day did the basketball team show up from irateturk's house?
What day did the basketball team show up from irateturk's house?
stereo
+1 -0
The sixth day. And on the seventh, they were arrested.
The sixth day. And on the seventh, they were arrested.
thegoblins
+0 -0
and it was so good...
and it was so good...
thegoblins
+0 -0
In memoriam...meam?
In memoriam...meam?
aelindil
+1 -0
moar liek in memoriam meme
moar liek in memoriam meme
notcool
+0 -0
There is no way I am ever going to believe that this isn't some very, very, beautifully elaborate performance art. Possibly (probably) carried out by Onstad himself.
I chubby you, and invite you back to the sandbox if you're not living inside the head of Dr. Manflesh.
There is no way I am ever going to believe that this isn't some very, very, beautifully elaborate performance art. Possibly (probably) carried out by Onstad himself.
I chubby you, and invite you back to the sandbox if you're not living inside the head of Dr. Manflesh.
anticitizen
+0 -0
dude's on my good side for "here there be monsters indeed!"
dude's on my good side for "here there be monsters indeed!"
morypcaina
+0 -0
are those simplified or mandarin chinese foil Necroskitters
this is important
are those simplified or mandarin chinese foil Necroskitters
this is important
tucky
+0 -0
Heartmender makes necroskitter cry. THE underrated card of the format, bar none.
Heartmender makes necroskitter cry. THE underrated card of the format, bar none.
farqussus
+1 -0
So 'gonzo' is just a catch-all excuser for everything stupid on the net now? Thompson would turn in his grave if he had a head to hear or see what you are saying even though he's dead and it doesn't matter whether or not his organs or skull is still intact.
So 'gonzo' is just a catch-all excuser for everything stupid on the net now? Thompson would turn in his grave if he had a head to hear or see what you are saying even though he's dead and it doesn't matter whether or not his organs or skull is still intact.
belgand
+0 -0
I must concur with farqussus here. At least gonzo porn has a somewhat legitimate claim to it's use of the word.
I must concur with farqussus here. At least gonzo porn has a somewhat legitimate claim to it's use of the word.
rowboat
+0 -0
Chubbied
Chubbied
godfatherofsouls
+3 -0
OHHHHHHHH SSSHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
OHHHHHHHH SSSHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
yorkshiretea
+4 -0
Tomorrow's recipe: Chicken!
Tomorrow's recipe: Chicken!
edwardstark
+0 -0
It seems I have to remember that not checking achewood in the morning is pivotal to my disposition these days.
It seems I have to remember that not checking achewood in the morning is pivotal to my disposition these days.
cvagts
+9 -0
It's okay, guys! Just push a paper clip in the hole in his chest, and he'll reboot just fine! Right? RIGHT?!
It's okay, guys! Just push a paper clip in the hole in his chest, and he'll reboot just fine! Right? RIGHT?!
westsider8
+2 -0
While acting as a conduit for government fees is a secondary purpose of our lives, our primary is to move water from one place to another.
While acting as a conduit for government fees is a secondary purpose of our lives, our primary is to move water from one place to another.
bluemoon72
+1 -0
If this is truly the end of Beef, I will be forced to rate this strip an otherwise undeserved 1.
If this is truly the end of Beef, I will be forced to rate this strip an otherwise undeserved 1.
stereo
+0 -0
Things end.
Don't be sad because it's over. Be sad because it happened.
Things end.
Don't be sad because it's over. Be sad because it happened.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Sounds like my first marriage.
Sounds like my first marriage.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Small things get bigger! Got more stuff!
Small things get bigger! Got more stuff!
mensch
+0 -0
that's what she said
not
that's what she said
not
zombiezero
+2 -0
Next: Roast Beef wakes up to the realization that it was all a dream, Michael Jackson is still dead, and Patrick Duffy is in the shower.
Next: Roast Beef wakes up to the realization that it was all a dream, Michael Jackson is still dead, and Patrick Duffy is in the shower.
belgand
+1 -0
I woke up to find Patrick Duffy in the shower once. It didn't really explain anything and actually caused a lot of new questions (and feelings) to develop, but it was still rather nice.
I wonder if the dude could market that as a service. Sounds like there could be some solid cash in it.
I woke up to find Patrick Duffy in the shower once. It didn't really explain anything and actually caused a lot of new questions (and feelings) to develop, but it was still rather nice.
I wonder if the dude could market that as a service. Sounds like there could be some solid cash in it.
anticitizen
+0 -0
yeah, and I know what happens next.
PATRICK DUFFY TAKES A BEATIN'
yeah, and I know what happens next.
PATRICK DUFFY TAKES A BEATIN'
pmbarrett
+8 -0
tetsujin
+2 -0
#include <stdio.h>
int main()
{
printf("goodbye, world\n");
exit(0);
}
#include <stdio.h>
int main()
{
printf("goodbye, world\n");
exit(0);
}
elzilcho
+0 -0
// ~~~TODO: fix above code, seems hack-ish~~~
// ~~~TODO: remove/replace Circumstances modules~~~
// ~~~who am I kidding, I am just terrible at this~~~
// ~~~TODO: fix above code, seems hack-ish~~~
// ~~~TODO: remove/replace Circumstances modules~~~
// ~~~who am I kidding, I am just terrible at this~~~
dans
+3 -0
Roast Beef is going to wake up in bed with a plaque saying: "I proved myself a fool that would die looking like an idiot"
Roast Beef is going to wake up in bed with a plaque saying: "I proved myself a fool that would die looking like an idiot"
wazza
+0 -0
CH would not Rebuke a man for such a thing; he sees beauty in all deaths, so long as they are not accompanied by the desertions of cowards.
CH would not Rebuke a man for such a thing; he sees beauty in all deaths, so long as they are not accompanied by the desertions of cowards.
dans
+0 -0
so hey look at that me and you almost guessed what was going to happen !
so hey look at that me and you almost guessed what was going to happen !
possums
+5 -0
Come on guys. How many times has Roast Beef died before. He'll be fine.
Come on guys. How many times has Roast Beef died before. He'll be fine.
kotoku
+1 -1
How many times has Roast Beef died with such a long drawn out plotline? :O
How many times has Roast Beef died with such a long drawn out plotline? :O
thegoblins
+1 -0
Then why do you weep, Eagle?
Then why do you weep, Eagle?
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Because people keep forgetting.
Because people keep forgetting.
possums
+0 -0
No matter the possibility of resurrection, the death of a beloved cartoon cat is still a sad thing indeed.
No matter the possibility of resurrection, the death of a beloved cartoon cat is still a sad thing indeed.
dans
+0 -0
i think you're forgetting about the whole reincarnation deal waitin for beef, although if things still don't go back to normal, i'm sure we'd all be surprised
i think you're forgetting about the whole reincarnation deal waitin for beef, although if things still don't go back to normal, i'm sure we'd all be surprised
theirateturk
+0 -0
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MortisInvictus, Stonecrab, Kotoku, greatjob, GoriasXY, bassguitarbill, Irien)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MortisInvictus, Stonecrab, Kotoku, greatjob, GoriasXY, bassguitarbill, Irien)
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
theirateturk is a bigger fan than all of you simple bastards
theirateturk is a bigger fan than all of you simple bastards
maximus
+8 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mawk
+0 -0
Albert the cat looks like he may be related to CH.
Albert the cat looks like he may be related to CH.
theirateturk
+0 -0
vOv dont u guys want a more funnier strip? :/
vOv dont u guys want a more funnier strip? :/
dasilodavi
+0 -0
This whole thing smacks of Joe Vs. the Volcano. Roast Beef pretty much [i]is[/] Achewood's Tom Hanks.
This whole thing smacks of Joe Vs. the Volcano. Roast Beef pretty much [i]is[/] Achewood's Tom Hanks.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
(Damnit! Got one BBcode right, only to fuck up another one. For Shame.)
(Damnit! Got one BBcode right, only to fuck up another one. For Shame.)
puguglypress
+0 -0
out of chubbies but that so deserved one, goddammit i always waste my chubbies on photoshops of ray talking to photographs that are posted at such as the top of the page
out of chubbies but that so deserved one, goddammit i always waste my chubbies on photoshops of ray talking to photographs that are posted at such as the top of the page
belgand
+0 -0
Not really. I don't want to see Beef savagely gangraped by a pack of wolves and then devoured.
Lupine airtight is the absolute worst.
Not really. I don't want to see Beef savagely gangraped by a pack of wolves and then devoured.
Lupine airtight is the absolute worst.
daidai
+1 -0
dont knock it till you try it
dont knock it till you try it
ravigotte
+1 -0
oh fuck they killed Roast Beef
oh fuck they killed Roast Beef
bluemoon72
+1 -0
If this is truly the end, we better at least get Beef's last wishes realized. Fuck. I don't want to have to see that strip.
If this is truly the end, we better at least get Beef's last wishes realized. Fuck. I don't want to have to see that strip.
kotoku
+2 -0
Puts on a wig and sticks a finger out at a portrait of Roast Beef.
"Fuck THIS Guy!"
....
Rest in Peace if this is the end little buddy.
Puts on a wig and sticks a finger out at a portrait of Roast Beef.
"Fuck THIS Guy!"
....
Rest in Peace if this is the end little buddy.
notcool
+1 -0
Notcool rolls a gutterball.
Notcool rolls a gutterball.
ravigotte
+0 -0
Ravigotti rolls a gutterball
Let's hit 13, folks
Ravigotti rolls a gutterball
Let's hit 13, folks
ravigotte
+0 -0
So it turns out my username is not, in fact, Ravigotti, but ravigotte. Oh well.
So it turns out my username is not, in fact, Ravigotti, but ravigotte. Oh well.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
It's okay, man, you couldn't have known.
It's okay, man, you couldn't have known.
kotoku
+0 -0
Hell, I didn't even know.
Hell, I didn't even know.
missbee
+0 -0
missbee rolls a gutterball
missbee rolls a gutterball
bob8010
+3 -1
goodbye, world
goodbye, world
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING THE JOKE.
(there is no joke.)
THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING THE JOKE.
(there is no joke.)
operasucks
+0 -0
Beef in heaven 4? haha
Beef in heaven 4? haha
megadan33
+0 -0
End Of File.
Roast Beef was a programmer. Seems like a fitting title. The questions is, what happens after this?
End Of File.
Roast Beef was a programmer. Seems like a fitting title. The questions is, what happens after this?
wazza
+2 -0
"'Abort, Retry, Fail?' was the phrase some wormdog scrawled next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds on the huge organic comp systems, we'd remind them: if you see
this message, always choose 'Retry.'"
"'Abort, Retry, Fail?' was the phrase some wormdog scrawled next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds on the huge organic comp systems, we'd remind them: if you see
this message, always choose 'Retry.'"
just_a_dude
+0 -0
He can't be dead. Beef dies in 2052. Interesting. . .
He can't be dead. Beef dies in 2052. Interesting. . .
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
hell yeah..... i almost forgot about that.
hell yeah..... i almost forgot about that.
kotoku
+0 -0
Continuity saves Beef.
Continuity saves Beef.
edd36
+0 -0
But all continuity errors in 2009 are intentional...
But all continuity errors in 2009 are intentional...
rmj12345
+0 -0
Is "Roast Beef is offline" a long-overdue reference to the passable Internet connection in Beef's spine?
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=09172002
Where is Doc Andretti?
Is "Roast Beef is offline" a long-overdue reference to the passable Internet connection in Beef's spine?
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=09172002
Where is Doc Andretti?
ninjamike
+1 -0
I don't think I can deal with the passing of Roast Beef, you guys.
Beef, you can't die. You can't die, you fucker! You can't die!
*pounds Beef's chest*
I don't think I can deal with the passing of Roast Beef, you guys.
Beef, you can't die. You can't die, you fucker! You can't die!
*pounds Beef's chest*
jeffspaulding
+6 -0
Careful - its $8 per pound.
Careful - its $8 per pound.
choco
+0 -0
maybe that paper clip reset hole will come in handy
maybe that paper clip reset hole will come in handy
thing
+1 -1
thats what she said?
thats what she said?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I wonder if the last memory he ever had was of Ray asking "Dude! Have you heard of Seka?"
I wonder if the last memory he ever had was of Ray asking "Dude! Have you heard of Seka?"
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Somehow, I believe that bathing in the liquor of the monkey tree would have been substantially less dramatic.
Somehow, I believe that bathing in the liquor of the monkey tree would have been substantially less dramatic.
mawk
+0 -0
not if there was a springboard involved.
not if there was a springboard involved.
neonfreon
+0 -0
well, i guess achewood is done now
well, i guess achewood is done now
cromar
+0 -0
... double phooey ... nearly meaningless drivel ... what has happened ...
... double phooey ... nearly meaningless drivel ... what has happened ...
anticitizen
+2 -1
dude, you don't have to keep coming back to the site every few days. you can totally wait a few months then come back and read all of the horrible strips you'd have otherwise burdened yourself with. and in the meantime save us your writing "phooey" and "what the hell has happened" eighteen fucking strips in a row.
dude, you don't have to keep coming back to the site every few days. you can totally wait a few months then come back and read all of the horrible strips you'd have otherwise burdened yourself with. and in the meantime save us your writing "phooey" and "what the hell has happened" eighteen fucking strips in a row.
cromar
+0 -0
You know, you're probably right. It's just that Achewood has been doing something for me for a long time that it's not doing for me with this arc... Achewood's been hit-or-miss with me lately and it's very frustrating. (Apology accepted.) Anyway, carry on...
You know, you're probably right. It's just that Achewood has been doing something for me for a long time that it's not doing for me with this arc... Achewood's been hit-or-miss with me lately and it's very frustrating. (Apology accepted.) Anyway, carry on...
comrade_tom
+1 -0
Onstad is a genius, There have been so many times when achewood has made me laugh more than anything else (the exceptions being a couple of moments from peep show and alan partridge) so I hate to do the man down. But I personally (as an anonymous internet dickwad, slumped over a keyboard pontificating in my hipster t-shirt and ironic beard)am not enjoying this arc.
But that's ok, nothing is perfect, and as the peanut butter warehouse owner said, "you've got to take the rough with the smooth". Achewood hasn't jumped the shark with this storyline, It's been jumping the shark since day one and that's why I (and so many other anonymous internet dickwads) love it. I suppose what I'm trying to say with this ramble is, Let the man work.
Onstad is a genius, There have been so many times when achewood has made me laugh more than anything else (the exceptions being a couple of moments from peep show and alan partridge) so I hate to do the man down. But I personally (as an anonymous internet dickwad, slumped over a keyboard pontificating in my hipster t-shirt and ironic beard)am not enjoying this arc.
But that's ok, nothing is perfect, and as the peanut butter warehouse owner said, "you've got to take the rough with the smooth". Achewood hasn't jumped the shark with this storyline, It's been jumping the shark since day one and that's why I (and so many other anonymous internet dickwads) love it. I suppose what I'm trying to say with this ramble is, Let the man work.
ishuta
+3 -0
only the mediocre are always at their best :]]]]
only the mediocre are always at their best :]]]]
ishuta
+0 -0
better saying: after recessions come peaks
better saying: after recessions come peaks
anticitizen
+0 -0
ah hell. fighting with my ex and took it out on cromar, who has posted some pretty funny things. apologies.
ah hell. fighting with my ex and took it out on cromar, who has posted some pretty funny things. apologies.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Not cool, dude. I was about to chubby you for picking a fight with cromar, but you had already apologized. I feel like I was almost used.
Not cool, dude. I was about to chubby you for picking a fight with cromar, but you had already apologized. I feel like I was almost used.
anticitizen
+0 -0
but it's not homeboy's fault... i feel like picking a fight with a stranger online is the modern equivalent of striking your child at the dinner table.
now if you still feel almost-used, i'll tell you now that you must get almost-help because they just don't make water hot enough .
but it's not homeboy's fault... i feel like picking a fight with a stranger online is the modern equivalent of striking your child at the dinner table.
now if you still feel almost-used, i'll tell you now that you must get almost-help because they just don't make water hot enough .
lateadopter
+0 -0
It is a Thing with me.
There are more, but I can't find them. (My own comments, no less; why can't we search comments in this place?)
It is a Thing with me.
There are more, but I can't find them. (My own comments, no less; why can't we search comments in this place?)
cromar
+0 -0
Well Hell, glad to be of service.
Well Hell, glad to be of service.
zombiezero
+0 -0
No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever!
No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever!
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
No one should be a stranger to a cock, ever!
No one should be a stranger to a cock, ever!
troy_convers
+0 -0
No one should ever have a strange- well you get the idea.
No one should ever have a strange- well you get the idea.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ladies, may i introduce you to--
ladies, may i introduce you to--
thegoblins
+1 -0
I hope you feel better soon and patch things up or just cut off ties entirely whichever is more healthy!
I hope you feel better soon and patch things up or just cut off ties entirely whichever is more healthy!
cromar
+0 -0
'Twas good I was grumpy / A valuable lesson is learned / A future loved episode shall mark my return / If only a joke ended this
'Twas good I was grumpy / A valuable lesson is learned / A future loved episode shall mark my return / If only a joke ended this
thegoblins
+0 -1
I meant anticitizen and the ex.
I meant anticitizen and the ex.
nabeel84
+0 -0
I think he might be dead this time. This was a far more serious instance of death than before. Trouble Man and No-No had their serious moments, but this seems the most permanent death yet.
I think he might be dead this time. This was a far more serious instance of death than before. Trouble Man and No-No had their serious moments, but this seems the most permanent death yet.
cromar
+0 -0
Cheer up, I can't imagine he will die... he'll probably end up in some weird alternate dimension or something.
Cheer up, I can't imagine he will die... he'll probably end up in some weird alternate dimension or something.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
At least it was not incredible death.
At least it was not incredible death.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Or DIABETES.
Or DIABETES.
ijmtatpoc
+1 -0
I think the one thing that everybody is forgetting is that there is one safeguard by which those so afflicted may render the curse of the lash ineffectual. That being a tincture (I assume) made from the fresh bark of some unknown tree. CH just gave RB a tincture made from some unknown flat material. This is not the first time CH has been deceptive about death.
I think the one thing that everybody is forgetting is that there is one safeguard by which those so afflicted may render the curse of the lash ineffectual. That being a tincture (I assume) made from the fresh bark of some unknown tree. CH just gave RB a tincture made from some unknown flat material. This is not the first time CH has been deceptive about death.
octafish
+0 -0
That is silly, CH just Hastened Beef's death with paper and vinegar.
That is silly, CH just Hastened Beef's death with paper and vinegar.
daidai
+6 -0
NEXT TIME ON ACHEWOOD
"CH-
I PROVED MYSELF A COWARD WHO WOULD DESERT HIS WIFE IN DEATH"
NEXT TIME ON ACHEWOOD
"CH-
I PROVED MYSELF A COWARD WHO WOULD DESERT HIS WIFE IN DEATH"
stereo
+4 -0
CH must be hurting for customers if the best he can do is prove to Roast Beef that he's a coward.
CH must be hurting for customers if the best he can do is prove to Roast Beef that he's a coward.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
seen and raised.
seen and raised.
ashemon
+0 -0
That paper was actually a sheet of LSD blotter. Roast Beef is about to trip balls.
That paper was actually a sheet of LSD blotter. Roast Beef is about to trip balls.
awksedperl
+0 -0
Wouldn't that much put him in a mental institution?
Wouldn't that much put him in a mental institution?
wozzeck
+1 -0
What is there in Roast Beef's life that wouldn't?
What is there in Roast Beef's life that wouldn't?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
CBT?
CBT?
choco
+0 -0
um... what?
um... what?
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, because I do not think that is why he likes it when Molly wears the cheap purple pumps.
Dracula doesn't want to be staked.
Yeah, because I do not think that is why he likes it when Molly wears the cheap purple pumps.
Dracula doesn't want to be staked.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Compulsory Basic Training - it's a test that Brits must go through in order to get a motorcyclist's licence.
Compulsory Basic Training - it's a test that Brits must go through in order to get a motorcyclist's licence.
comrade_tom
+4 -0
It's true, the king sends us a letter on our twenty fifth birthday instructing us to report to the nearest archery range for CBT.
It's true, the king sends us a letter on our twenty fifth birthday instructing us to report to the nearest archery range for CBT.
kmlavoy
+0 -0
Personally, I thought the dude in the audience was none other than Ramses Luther. The hat sort of puts me on that, and also for his penchant for showing up at odd times.
Personally, I thought the dude in the audience was none other than Ramses Luther. The hat sort of puts me on that, and also for his penchant for showing up at odd times.
anticitizen
+0 -0
Yeah, that was my assumption, too. But he's much too bulky... when it was proposed in the threads a few strips ago that it was actually Beef, I dug it but didn't really buy it fully. But the offhand use of "all" there by the man in seat Z-1 convinces me.
Yeah, that was my assumption, too. But he's much too bulky... when it was proposed in the threads a few strips ago that it was actually Beef, I dug it but didn't really buy it fully. But the offhand use of "all" there by the man in seat Z-1 convinces me.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure that's just in Roast Beef's head as well. If it was someone else saying it to him, there'd be a panel of reaction before he downed the vinegar.
A comics fan just knows.
I'm pretty sure that's just in Roast Beef's head as well. If it was someone else saying it to him, there'd be a panel of reaction before he downed the vinegar.
A comics fan just knows.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I have also made this point. I'm glad we're agreed.
Perhaps you are assimilated? I'm not quite sure.
I have also made this point. I'm glad we're agreed.
Perhaps you are assimilated? I'm not quite sure.
mawk
+1 -0
only Roast Beef would pass up an opportunity for last words because he was afraid of disappointing a single spectator.
only Roast Beef would pass up an opportunity for last words because he was afraid of disappointing a single spectator.
belgand
+0 -0
It's not just disappointing the spectator, it's that Beef realizes that he needs to be true to himself as well.
The toughest audience is always yourself.
It's not just disappointing the spectator, it's that Beef realizes that he needs to be true to himself as well.
The toughest audience is always yourself.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Belgand! That was positively genuine. Well well.
Belgand! That was positively genuine. Well well.
srikamaraja
+1 -0
All I can do
Is drink my Scotch
Listening to the classical music my father loved
In the darkness
Alone
Save for my cry cry face
All I can do
Is drink my Scotch
Listening to the classical music my father loved
In the darkness
Alone
Save for my cry cry face
sevendaughters
+1 -0
Do we know who won the prose contest yet?
Do we know who won the prose contest yet?
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Teodor/Ray. Result - victory by bum rush.
Teodor/Ray. Result - victory by bum rush.
wazza
+0 -0
More specifically, the shill lost, by being bum rushed.
He was crushed by lesbians, a fate wished for by many of an unintrospective case of mind.
More specifically, the shill lost, by being bum rushed.
He was crushed by lesbians, a fate wished for by many of an unintrospective case of mind.
awksedperl
+0 -0
A four for Beef referring to himself as a "conduit for fees to pass through." alone.
Man is he going to be pissed when he comes back to life, though he will be glad to see Molly.
A four for Beef referring to himself as a "conduit for fees to pass through." alone.
Man is he going to be pissed when he comes back to life, though he will be glad to see Molly.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Conduit for Sale?
Conduit for Sale?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'LL TRY
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'M TRYIN'
I'LL TRY
camidumas
+0 -0
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR TRY TRY FACE
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR TRY TRY FACE
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, MAN.
i mean, possible lady, mostly 'cos you are not an 'old, female'
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, MAN.
i mean, possible lady, mostly 'cos you are not an 'old, female'
morypcaina
+0 -0
more like NEW FACE IN HELL
more like NEW FACE IN HELL
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
SM does not deny the "influence" at all, of course. Personally, I still prefer Conduit for Sale.
SM does not deny the "influence" at all, of course. Personally, I still prefer Conduit for Sale.
granularsilica
+0 -0
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOT UR CRY CRY FACE
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOT UR CRY CRY FACE
emosexy
+0 -0
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :*(
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :*(
burningflowers
+0 -0
radical theory: person in seat Z-1 is...molly.
radical theory: person in seat Z-1 is...molly.
oldcousinbil
+0 -0
Will Beef now come back as an Unfortunate Being and if so, what was he before if not already one?
Will Beef now come back as an Unfortunate Being and if so, what was he before if not already one?
tuanomsoc
+2 -0
of COURSE Roast Beef would sign off with the opposite of "hello, world"
of COURSE Roast Beef would sign off with the opposite of "hello, world"
overman
+0 -0
Hello world is the first script you learn to write in CS. He should have no problem coming back. It's just a few simple lines of code.
Hello world is the first script you learn to write in CS. He should have no problem coming back. It's just a few simple lines of code.
sherief
+0 -0
A comment left by sherief was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mawk, plummet, lazurus_t)
A comment left by sherief was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mawk, plummet, lazurus_t)
maximus
+13 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
anticitizen
+0 -0
I would pay to have this hang in my apartment.
I would pay to have this hang in my apartment.
doppelganger
+17 -0
It would be the only thing hung in your apartment.
It would be the only thing hung in your apartment.
mensch
+1 -0
ZING!
ZING!
adroitcelerity
+0 -0
Oh DAMN, doppelganger!
I wish you many, many chubbies on that zing :)
hah
Oh DAMN, doppelganger!
I wish you many, many chubbies on that zing :)
hah
woodenteeth
+4 -0
Roast Beef has got some fun little tits today.
Roast Beef has got some fun little tits today.
maximus
+12 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Memorial Potholder 'Rosbif'
Khaki only - Egyptian cotton with vinyl applique
new for 2010 - online only
$12.95
[IMGS OFF]
Memorial Potholder 'Rosbif'
Khaki only - Egyptian cotton with vinyl applique
new for 2010 - online only
$12.95
null
+0 -0
Well, it's not like he hasn't been dead twice before (at least).
Well, it's not like he hasn't been dead twice before (at least).
null
+0 -0
I'm thinking the guy in the hat is Roast Beef's dad.
I'm thinking the guy in the hat is Roast Beef's dad.
maximus
+1 -0
Klaatu:
Barada nikto!
Klaatu:
Barada nikto!
kotoku
+0 -0
Roast Beef's mom killed Roast Beef's dad I thought.
Roast Beef's mom killed Roast Beef's dad I thought.
puguglypress
+2 -0
that "red balloon" story is what i'm gonna say when i die, everyone will be like "what" except achewood readers who will be like "lol"
that "red balloon" story is what i'm gonna say when i die, everyone will be like "what" except achewood readers who will be like "lol"
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you..uh...apparently plan on having some of us on-hand for your passing. i am not sure how i feel about this.
you..uh...apparently plan on having some of us on-hand for your passing. i am not sure how i feel about this.
wazza
+0 -0
could get Ethical
could get Ethical
tabletop_joe
+0 -0
Hi, friends. I'm new on assetbar but have been reading since puberty (or so).
I think Roastbeef is the most dignified Achewood resident. I hope this isn't his actual end. Maybe CH is using RB's death not as performance art, but as some weird alchemy experiment. Maybe CH can't die by any other way than the Lash, which is why that psychic lady had him on speed dial. Because, seriously, were I CH, I would want to die.
Hi, friends. I'm new on assetbar but have been reading since puberty (or so).
I think Roastbeef is the most dignified Achewood resident. I hope this isn't his actual end. Maybe CH is using RB's death not as performance art, but as some weird alchemy experiment. Maybe CH can't die by any other way than the Lash, which is why that psychic lady had him on speed dial. Because, seriously, were I CH, I would want to die.
neonfreon
+0 -0
maybe you're in denial
maybe you're in denial
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Spaulding: "Denial? Since when were we in egypt?"
Rapturous applause.
Spaulding: "Denial? Since when were we in egypt?"
Rapturous applause.
wingspan
+0 -0
Hey, asshole, my brother drowned in denial. Not funny, not cool, not a good comment.
Hey, asshole, my brother drowned in denial. Not funny, not cool, not a good comment.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Or Driftwood or Quackenbush or Firefly or Wagstaff.
Or Driftwood or Quackenbush or Firefly or Wagstaff.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and then somebody pointed out that he needed to capitalize Egypt and it's been nothing but trouble since.
and then somebody pointed out that he needed to capitalize Egypt and it's been nothing but trouble since.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I refuse to capitalise a nation that insists on naming itself after the pagan god Ptah, I have few principles but this is one of them.
My other principles:
1. Never to knowingly help (financially or otherwise) a member of the international scout movement.
2.A steadfast determination to ignore the evils of decimalisation in all its manifold forms.
I refuse to capitalise a nation that insists on naming itself after the pagan god Ptah, I have few principles but this is one of them.
My other principles:
1. Never to knowingly help (financially or otherwise) a member of the international scout movement.
2.A steadfast determination to ignore the evils of decimalisation in all its manifold forms.
octafish
+0 -0
Dyb, dyb, dyb,
Dob, dob, dob,
Spare 0.25 of a dollar?
Dyb, dyb, dyb,
Dob, dob, dob,
Spare 0.25 of a dollar?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the god Ptah and his cousin, HUTTAH!
the god Ptah and his cousin, HUTTAH!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
also, ain't gotta explain yourself to me. we cool. jussayin' some deck's gonna bust yo' shiz.
also, ain't gotta explain yourself to me. we cool. jussayin' some deck's gonna bust yo' shiz.
belgand
+0 -0
Seriously, I go out to buy half a crown of milk for breakfast and having only a one pound note to pay for it I somehow get back only seven florin, two shillings, and a sixpence! Where is my thruppence!
Belgand was actually shorted a whole bob, but was too insensate with rage to notice properly and was remanded to the care of the NHS after the vicar noticed him gibbering madly.
Seriously, I go out to buy half a crown of milk for breakfast and having only a one pound note to pay for it I somehow get back only seven florin, two shillings, and a sixpence! Where is my thruppence!
Belgand was actually shorted a whole bob, but was too insensate with rage to notice properly and was remanded to the care of the NHS after the vicar noticed him gibbering madly.
edd36
+0 -0
Oh no you don't. No sneeking off to the NHS to get out of harvest. I'll just have to get the local Bobby to go fetch you on his bicycle so you're back in time for tea. (You're not getting any scones though).
Oh no you don't. No sneeking off to the NHS to get out of harvest. I'll just have to get the local Bobby to go fetch you on his bicycle so you're back in time for tea. (You're not getting any scones though).
comrade_tom
+0 -0
That story is ludicrous. No-one in their right mind would lunatic within a furlong of a piping hot pot of Rington's finest blend!
That story is ludicrous. No-one in their right mind would lunatic within a furlong of a piping hot pot of Rington's finest blend!
d_boons_ghost
+0 -0
Isn't it pretty obvious that Cornelius is the most dignified Achewood character? I mean, he is DEFINITELY not afraid of the fucking POLICE.
Hello, assetbar. Greetings from New Hampshire!
Isn't it pretty obvious that Cornelius is the most dignified Achewood character? I mean, he is DEFINITELY not afraid of the fucking POLICE.
Hello, assetbar. Greetings from New Hampshire!
granularsilica
+0 -0
New where?
New where?
doppelganger
+2 -0
Quote:
Ha-ha you dumb shit, I've been reading since I was 4.
Quote:
I'm new on assetbar but have been reading since puberty
Ha-ha you dumb shit, I've been reading since I was 4.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh man, my hat off to you for that which you said.
oh man, my hat off to you for that which you said.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
but also, maha, you moron. i've been reading since i was three.
but also, maha, you moron. i've been reading since i was three.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
2.5 motherfucker.
2.5 motherfucker.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i'll have to ask my mom, actually. i'm not quite sure.
i'll have to ask my mom, actually. i'm not quite sure.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
The hostility was completely unwarranted.
The hostility was completely unwarranted.
ripslagcheek
+1 -0
I've been reading since I hit puberty at age three.
I've been reading since I hit puberty at age three.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Chubbied!
Chubbied!
edd36
+0 -0
Puberty does indeed cause chubbies.
Puberty does indeed cause chubbies.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ripslagcheek, meet Lyle.
ripslagcheek, meet Lyle.
bryner99
+10 -0
This is the worst sapphic erotica ever.
This is the worst sapphic erotica ever.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this is the truest statement.
this is the truest statement.
aelindil
+0 -0
There's a niche for this, I'm sure.
It's the internet. There more or less has to be.
There's a niche for this, I'm sure.
It's the internet. There more or less has to be.
jean-paul
+0 -0
OK, that's pretty good for the dress rehearsal. Doors open in one hour.
OK, that's pretty good for the dress rehearsal. Doors open in one hour.
choco
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
mensch
+0 -0
Girls can wear seifuku outside of porn?
Girls can wear seifuku outside of porn?
doppelganger
+0 -0
I think its Korean, not Japanese.
So the answer is no, Seifuku is only for porn.
I think its Korean, not Japanese.
So the answer is no, Seifuku is only for porn.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Its Chinese. It is from the Chongquing Huaxi Gynaecology Hospital.
Quote:
Its Chinese. It is from the Chongquing Huaxi Gynaecology Hospital.
Quote:
The Huaxi Gynecology Hospital in Chongqing Municipality ran an ad saying that girls who showed their student cards were entitled to a 50-percent discount for abortions, today's Guangzhou Daily reported.
In the advertisement, an image of a girl in student's suit says: "I'm a student and have privileges!"
In the advertisement, an image of a girl in student's suit says: "I'm a student and have privileges!"
mensch
+0 -0
Is it wrong that now the girl above really turns me on?
Is it wrong that now the girl above really turns me on?
mensch
+0 -0
To stoke my fantasy, I'm going to photoshop the ad to read: "I'm an underage teen student and I have the privilege of getting knocked up by a fat American."
To stoke my fantasy, I'm going to photoshop the ad to read: "I'm an underage teen student and I have the privilege of getting knocked up by a fat American."
doppelganger
+0 -0
Quote:
A: Yes.
Quote:
Is it wrong that now the girl above really turns me on?
A: Yes.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I don't think she's underage.
I don't think she's underage.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Abortion clinics are the place to meet girls who like to party.
Abortion clinics are the place to meet girls who like to party.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
workin' some rough chuckles.
workin' some rough chuckles.
belgand
+0 -0
*cough* *mutter*
I think he was just referencing Dogma.
*cough* *mutter*
I think he was just referencing Dogma.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
apparently i got some movies to see.
apparently i got some movies to see.
choco
+0 -0
yeah if anything she's overage...
yeah if anything she's overage...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Maybe just above overage, in my humble opinion.
Maybe just above overage, in my humble opinion.
edd36
+0 -0
Where's hedonismbot when he's needed?
As for her age... she's probably old enough, but I'd want to see documentation proving the fact first. (Do you think my constant asking of girls to provide proof of identification has anything to do with my inabilty to get any action?)
Where's hedonismbot when he's needed?
As for her age... she's probably old enough, but I'd want to see documentation proving the fact first. (Do you think my constant asking of girls to provide proof of identification has anything to do with my inabilty to get any action?)
belgand
+0 -0
No. Current suggestions advise that you obtain two forms of government-issued ID, at least one with photo, to ascertain that the person is above the legal age of consent. Photocopies of these documents should be stored for no less than the next six years for your benefit.
"I'd certainly love for you to go wild on my hog baby, just let me nip out to the copy shop with your passport first."
No. Current suggestions advise that you obtain two forms of government-issued ID, at least one with photo, to ascertain that the person is above the legal age of consent. Photocopies of these documents should be stored for no less than the next six years for your benefit.
"I'd certainly love for you to go wild on my hog baby, just let me nip out to the copy shop with your passport first."
edd36
+0 -0
Perhaps it's the background check and the blood tests that are too much then?
Perhaps it's the background check and the blood tests that are too much then?
thegoblins
+0 -0
Man, I'd love to have a little blood-testing lab in my house.
Man, I'd love to have a little blood-testing lab in my house.
edd36
+0 -0
It's portable, I bring it to clubs, etc.
It's portable, I bring it to clubs, etc.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
sweet translation.
my language sighting skills still got it. i knew it couldn't be korean. it's not square enough. (you all know what i'm talking about, right?)
sweet translation.
my language sighting skills still got it. i knew it couldn't be korean. it's not square enough. (you all know what i'm talking about, right?)
stereo
+0 -0
Korean has a pretty small alphabet (similar to English, I believe) they just combine them into characters by stacking them. So it's relatively easy to recognize.
The katakana's the only thing really separating Chinese and Japanese, unless you understand one of them. So I just tend to notice Chinese being denser.
Korean has a pretty small alphabet (similar to English, I believe) they just combine them into characters by stacking them. So it's relatively easy to recognize.
The katakana's the only thing really separating Chinese and Japanese, unless you understand one of them. So I just tend to notice Chinese being denser.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you mean the little dot or swishy thing?
you mean the little dot or swishy thing?
mensch
+0 -0
your thinking of a Bombay homo.
your thinking of a Bombay homo.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you're thinking of the possessive.
it's alright, happens to me all the time.
you're thinking of the possessive.
it's alright, happens to me all the time.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
(it does not happen to me all the time, if ever.)
(it does not happen to me all the time, if ever.)
choco
+0 -0
that's racist
that's racist
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Katakana and Hiragana, yes. I always tend to distinguish Korean by its incessant circles. Stupid circles.
Katakana and Hiragana, yes. I always tend to distinguish Korean by its incessant circles. Stupid circles.
tetsujin
+0 -1
Doesn't look like Korean to me, from what I've seen of Korean. It's Chinese, or else I'm a fool who doesn't know Chinese from some other Chinese-derived East Asian written language.
Doesn't look like Korean to me, from what I've seen of Korean. It's Chinese, or else I'm a fool who doesn't know Chinese from some other Chinese-derived East Asian written language.
granularsilica
+0 -0
okay, i'll say it ... they all look the same to me
okay, i'll say it ... they all look the same to me
plummet
+0 -0
> seifuku
mildly surprised mensch hasn't been lamed into the stratosphere for this one
> seifuku
mildly surprised mensch hasn't been lamed into the stratosphere for this one
i_love_kate
+0 -0
For knowing the Japanese for uniform?
For knowing the Japanese for uniform?
plummet
+0 -0
That's an unforgivable sin in some parts
That's an unforgivable sin in some parts
jeffspaulding
+6 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
doppelganger
+3 -0
CH is really Mom-mom! (her eyes will not stop Weepin')
CH is really Mom-mom! (her eyes will not stop Weepin')
odog
+0 -2
I think Achewood is over.
I think Achewood is over.
jean-paul
+0 -0
No, they're just moving the location to heaven.
No, they're just moving the location to heaven.
mensch
+0 -1
Judging by the lack of Mexicans, I thought they were already in heaven.
Judging by the lack of Mexicans, I thought they were already in heaven.
mensch
+0 -1
Sorry. That was uncalled for. Choco's picture of the knocked-up Chink has got me all outta sorts.
Sorry. That was uncalled for. Choco's picture of the knocked-up Chink has got me all outta sorts.
crom
+0 -0
Your chuckles are rougher than P12 grit sandpaper. May your underwear be as well. Forever.
Your chuckles are rougher than P12 grit sandpaper. May your underwear be as well. Forever.
anticitizen
+0 -0
and that's as gritty as grit sandpaper gets.
and that's as gritty as grit sandpaper gets.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Chinga a tu madre, cabron.
[IMGS OFF]
Chinga a tu madre, cabron.
maximus
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
whoa i had no idea Friendly's was an actual place.
whoa i had no idea Friendly's was an actual place.
maximus
+0 -0
It's the state food of Ohio
It's the state food of Ohio
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
huh. ne'er been.
huh. ne'er been.
shinkusan
+0 -0
I ne'er do well, but I don't go around telling people.
I ne'er do well, but I don't go around telling people.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I come home from a nice relaxing few days upstate and this is my welcome? Onstad killing my favorite cat? :(
I come home from a nice relaxing few days upstate and this is my welcome? Onstad killing my favorite cat? :(
doppelganger
+0 -0
It could have been worse, you could have come home to him schtuping yourwife favorite cat.
It could have been worse, you could have come home to him schtuping your
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Either would be pretty bad.
Either would be pretty bad.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Flames on the side of my face etc.
Flames on the side of my face etc.
morypcaina
+1 -0
-Chubb-- heav- heaving chubs,--
-Chubb-- heav- heaving chubs,--
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
This must be a matter of concern to zoophiles. There is just no etiquette for being caught screwing a cat. The only thing I can think of to even slightly salvage the situation is look down and say 'What the deuce, this isn't the Guaranteed Honky-Tonk Style Blowjob I ordered. Get me room service!' But I feel even that would be unlikely to make it significantly less awkward unless the person who caught you was both a massive fan of Achewood and deep-down pretty tolerant of cat shagging.
This must be a matter of concern to zoophiles. There is just no etiquette for being caught screwing a cat. The only thing I can think of to even slightly salvage the situation is look down and say 'What the deuce, this isn't the Guaranteed Honky-Tonk Style Blowjob I ordered. Get me room service!' But I feel even that would be unlikely to make it significantly less awkward unless the person who caught you was both a massive fan of Achewood and deep-down pretty tolerant of cat shagging.
aelindil
+1 -0
"You're bangin' a cat, but whatever. No cookies for you."
"You're bangin' a cat, but whatever. No cookies for you."
octafish
+4 -0
Look out there in the field. Do you see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence by stone with my own hands. Took me four months. But do they call me Octafish the fence builder? No.
Look at this bar. Do you see how smooth and just right it is? I planed that surface down by my own achin' back. I carved that wood with my own
hard labour for eight days. But do they call me Octafish the builder? No.
Look out to sea. Do you see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off my brow. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me Octafish the pier builder? No.
But you fuck one cat...
Look out there in the field. Do you see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence by stone with my own hands. Took me four months. But do they call me Octafish the fence builder? No.
Look at this bar. Do you see how smooth and just right it is? I planed that surface down by my own achin' back. I carved that wood with my own
hard labour for eight days. But do they call me Octafish the builder? No.
Look out to sea. Do you see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off my brow. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me Octafish the pier builder? No.
But you fuck one cat...
stereo
+0 -0
I wonder what the sequence is. Like does bestiality take precedence over homosexuality? What about a foot fetish?
I wonder what the sequence is. Like does bestiality take precedence over homosexuality? What about a foot fetish?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Assuming such things are linear and that one might be gay if one likes to fuck cats and vice versa.
Assuming such things are linear and that one might be gay if one likes to fuck cats and vice versa.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I don't think that's what he meant.
I don't think that's what he meant.
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
You... you changed your avatar for that?
You... you changed your avatar for that?
johnmatrix
+0 -0
No, it was changed a strip or two ago.
No, it was changed a strip or two ago.
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
Okay, that's recent enough for me to not be crazy, thanks.
Man, I was thinking she saw them talking about cat fucking and thought, "I gotta get in on that!"
But I'm glad to see this is not the case.
Okay, that's recent enough for me to not be crazy, thanks.
Man, I was thinking she saw them talking about cat fucking and thought, "I gotta get in on that!"
But I'm glad to see this is not the case.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But it'd be pretty funny if he did.
But it'd be pretty funny if he did.
thegoblins
+0 -0
SHE, goddamnit. And it might be the only palpable way for me to get any action.
SHE, goddamnit. And it might be the only palpable way for me to get any action.
choco
+0 -0
palpable action is a whole other category of action
palpable action is a whole other category of action
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Stereo is a dude. Goddamn it Assetbar, you confuse us so good.
Stereo is a dude. Goddamn it Assetbar, you confuse us so good.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Oh, it would be pretty funny if he (meaning stereo) were actually drawing a correlation between boys who like to give it to other boys in the butt and people who bother kittens. Now I get it. What a hilarious misunderstanding.
Oh, it would be pretty funny if he (meaning stereo) were actually drawing a correlation between boys who like to give it to other boys in the butt and people who bother kittens. Now I get it. What a hilarious misunderstanding.
stereo
+0 -0
Kittens are for Christmas, sodomy is for life.
Kittens are for Christmas, sodomy is for life.
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
And if that kitten was a boy kitten, we could bring this analogy full circle.
And if that kitten was a boy kitten, we could bring this analogy full circle.
stereo
+0 -0
The isosceles lock is the simplest known full circle sodomy.
The isosceles lock is the simplest known full circle sodomy.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Your tone suggests a sar-chasm has split this conversation.
Your tone suggests a sar-chasm has split this conversation.
edd36
+0 -1
Girl please. Talk like this doesn't sit well with me. Hearing that you're not getting any action may well trigger horney-onset diabetes. Before long I'll be in a state where I can't not sexy at you.
And I really don't want to be that guy on the internet .
Girl please. Talk like this doesn't sit well with me. Hearing that you're not getting any action may well trigger horney-onset diabetes. Before long I'll be in a state where I can't not sexy at you.
And I really don't want to be that guy on the internet .
thegoblins
+0 -0
Sexual frustration I can pretty much take care of on my own, honestly. It's other stuff that distracts me sometimes. Emotional stuff. GIRL stuff.
Sexual frustration I can pretty much take care of on my own, honestly. It's other stuff that distracts me sometimes. Emotional stuff. GIRL stuff.
edd36
+0 -0
You're not helping!
You're not helping!
thegoblins
+0 -0
How am I not? I'm reminding you that people are complex and have needs and are annoying and stuff so that you end up not objectifying them! Seeeeee?
How am I not? I'm reminding you that people are complex and have needs and are annoying and stuff so that you end up not objectifying them! Seeeeee?
kotekan
+0 -0
Is that the Kitten Who Thinks of Nothing but Murder All Day?
Is that the Kitten Who Thinks of Nothing but Murder All Day?
thegoblins
+0 -0
I believe it is. But it looks much like any other grey kitten.
I believe it is. But it looks much like any other grey kitten.
kotekan
+0 -0
That's how they get you.
That's how they get you.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I am pretty upset about how few chubbies this has got. It shakes my faith in the free market. Perhaps we should give all our chubbies to one centralised Ministry of Approval, who can hand them out to the worthy.
I am pretty upset about how few chubbies this has got. It shakes my faith in the free market. Perhaps we should give all our chubbies to one centralised Ministry of Approval, who can hand them out to the worthy.
mensch
+0 -0
I thought it was very funny - the first dozen or so times I heard it. But that was years ago.
I thought it was very funny - the first dozen or so times I heard it. But that was years ago.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Mensch: 2 cool 4 assetbar skool.
Mensch: 2 cool 4 assetbar skool.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm with Mensch on this one. It's an old joke and one that I've told many times myself.
I'm with Mensch on this one. It's an old joke and one that I've told many times myself.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Oh goodness. Have I fallen for plagiarism ? You have shamed me Octafish. I totally put myself out there and I looked like a git.
Oh goodness. Have I fallen for plagiarism ? You have shamed me Octafish. I totally put myself out there and I looked like a git.
octafish
+0 -0
Jesus, people hadn't heard that joke before? It's a classic, like the ten inch pianist, the essence of good comedy , or the hunter that makes sure his buddy is dead.
Jesus, people hadn't heard that joke before? It's a classic, like the ten inch pianist, the essence of good comedy , or the hunter that makes sure his buddy is dead.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is that not conceivable to you? I never heard it. It's not that big a deal, I would hope.
Is that not conceivable to you? I never heard it. It's not that big a deal, I would hope.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I swear I've never actually heard the ten inch pianist joke. Just innumerable references to it.
I swear I've never actually heard the ten inch pianist joke. Just innumerable references to it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It took me till 10th grade to hear the limerick about the man from Nantucket in full.
It took me till 10th grade to hear the limerick about the man from Nantucket in full.
belgand
+0 -0
I had a book as a child that taught me innumerable jokes that were in bad taste, vicious and rude schoolyard songs, interesting bits of trivia, and the like. It was like an entire childhood that may not actually exist that much anymore compiled into book form and definitely of use to nerdy children.
Kind of like the liberal arts version of "The American Boy's Handy Book". Who here did not love the hell out of that? All teaching you how to make crossbows and boats and such. Seems like that whole "Dangerous Book for Boys" is trying to do the same thing, but if it doesn't teach you how to build a snow fort, a blowgun, and train a dog I'm not certain what value it has... aside from not assuming you have a ready source for barrel staves and whalebone.
I had a book as a child that taught me innumerable jokes that were in bad taste, vicious and rude schoolyard songs, interesting bits of trivia, and the like. It was like an entire childhood that may not actually exist that much anymore compiled into book form and definitely of use to nerdy children.
Kind of like the liberal arts version of "The American Boy's Handy Book". Who here did not love the hell out of that? All teaching you how to make crossbows and boats and such. Seems like that whole "Dangerous Book for Boys" is trying to do the same thing, but if it doesn't teach you how to build a snow fort, a blowgun, and train a dog I'm not certain what value it has... aside from not assuming you have a ready source for barrel staves and whalebone.
wazza
+0 -0
if you are incapable of determining the relevant details about the ten-inch pianist, and cannot find a humorous rhyme for "Nantucket", then I have no use for you, or your kind.
if you are incapable of determining the relevant details about the ten-inch pianist, and cannot find a humorous rhyme for "Nantucket", then I have no use for you, or your kind.
belgand
+0 -0
"I've just been eating all this hot, buttered corn-on-the-cob!"
Why aren't we working on our dead baby jokes, are those no longer in fashion? Are they no longer told?
"I've just been eating all this hot, buttered corn-on-the-cob!"
Why aren't we working on our dead baby jokes, are those no longer in fashion? Are they no longer told?
bluemoon72
+0 -0
"The Aristocrats!"
"The Aristocrats!"
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Sometimes I look around, take stock, as it were, of everyone and everything around me, for what it's really worth under all the hub bub, and if the wind's right, if all's sorta okay on God's green, feel we're all pretty tolerant of cat shagging.
P&L
:)nice_on_water(:
Sometimes I look around, take stock, as it were, of everyone and everything around me, for what it's really worth under all the hub bub, and if the wind's right, if all's sorta okay on God's green, feel we're all pretty tolerant of cat shagging.
P&L
:)nice_on_water(:
belgand
+0 -0
I default to Dana Gould and that the proper response is out-and-out indignation.
"Of course I'm fucking the cat, what in the hell does it look like I'm doing?"
In all fairness he was just stroking it off, not actually fucking it, so the protocol may be slightly different
I default to Dana Gould and that the proper response is out-and-out indignation.
"Of course I'm fucking the cat, what in the hell does it look like I'm doing?"
In all fairness he was just stroking it off, not actually fucking it, so the protocol may be slightly different
anticitizen
+0 -0
doppleganger, you are on fire this afternoon, dude.
doppleganger, you are on fire this afternoon, dude.
belgand
+0 -0
You cross that out like they're not the same thing.
You cross that out like they're not the same thing.
xi
+0 -0
Oh. Oh no.
Oh. Oh no.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
"The dead man lay, as dead men always lie, in a specially heavy way, his rigid limbs sunk in the soft cushions of the coffin, with the head forever bowed on the pillow. His yellow waxen brow with bald patches over his sunken temples was thrust up in the way peculiar to the dead, the protruding nose seeming to press on the upper lip. He was much changed and grown even thinner since Peter Ivanovich had last seen him, but, as is always the case with the dead, his face was handsomer and above all more dignified than when he was alive. the expression on the face said that what was necessary had been accomplished, and accomplished rightly. Besides this there was in that expression a reproach and a warning to the living. This warning seemed to Peter Ivanovich out of place, or at least not applicable to him. He felt a certain discomfort and so he hurriedly crossed himself once more and turned and went out of the door%u2014too hurriedly and too regardless of propriety, as he himself was aware."
- Tolstoy, "The Death of Ivan Ilyich"
"The dead man lay, as dead men always lie, in a specially heavy way, his rigid limbs sunk in the soft cushions of the coffin, with the head forever bowed on the pillow. His yellow waxen brow with bald patches over his sunken temples was thrust up in the way peculiar to the dead, the protruding nose seeming to press on the upper lip. He was much changed and grown even thinner since Peter Ivanovich had last seen him, but, as is always the case with the dead, his face was handsomer and above all more dignified than when he was alive. the expression on the face said that what was necessary had been accomplished, and accomplished rightly. Besides this there was in that expression a reproach and a warning to the living. This warning seemed to Peter Ivanovich out of place, or at least not applicable to him. He felt a certain discomfort and so he hurriedly crossed himself once more and turned and went out of the door%u2014too hurriedly and too regardless of propriety, as he himself was aware."
- Tolstoy, "The Death of Ivan Ilyich"
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I would imagine that this isn't "always the case with the dead".
I would imagine that this isn't "always the case with the dead".
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He's yesterday's Beef now.
He's yesterday's Beef now.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Huh. Cartiledge Head isn't weeping in Panel 4.
Huh. Cartiledge Head isn't weeping in Panel 4.
mawk
+0 -0
out of all the times not to weep.
out of all the times not to weep.
mawk
+0 -0
the panel where RB sniffs the vinegar and chopped paper sort of weirds me out. the way his face wrinkles up looks as if his nostrils are not actually on his nose, but to either side of it.
the panel where RB sniffs the vinegar and chopped paper sort of weirds me out. the way his face wrinkles up looks as if his nostrils are not actually on his nose, but to either side of it.
omegatron
+4 -0
Is this the end?
...or merely a ruse ?
[IMGS OFF]
Denial is the first step.
Is this the end?
...or merely a ruse ?
[IMGS OFF]
Denial is the first step.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
dude, if anybody could sucker CH, power to 'em.
dude, if anybody could sucker CH, power to 'em.
dougthehead
+0 -0
I'm guessing I'm not the first to say it, but:
Roast Beef! Nooooooooooooooooo!
I'm guessing I'm not the first to say it, but:
Roast Beef! Nooooooooooooooooo!
d_boons_ghost
+0 -0
Hey BEEF! You went up and DIED again. How come?
Hey BEEF! You went up and DIED again. How come?
choco
+0 -0
A comment left by choco was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Stonecrab, Comrade_Tom)
A comment left by choco was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Stonecrab, Comrade_Tom)
mensch
+3 -0
Let me guess - Hammacher Schlemmer was out of "personal massagers."
Forget the net and let your fingers do the walking.
Let me guess - Hammacher Schlemmer was out of "personal massagers."
Forget the net and let your fingers do the walking.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It often works better.
It often works better.
wazza
+0 -0
Tell me more of this... "finger-walking"
Tell me more of this... "finger-walking"
thegoblins
+0 -0
Sometimes people like to fiddle with their bits, I hear.
Sometimes people like to fiddle with their bits, I hear.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Apart from string-instrument collectors, who are far more likely to bid on fiddles.
Apart from string-instrument collectors, who are far more likely to bid on fiddles.
edd36
+0 -0
Fiddling with other people's bits can be much more challenging.
And I like a challenge.
Fiddling with other people's bits can be much more challenging.
And I like a challenge.
octafish
+0 -0
AIU: expecting perfection from the world since 1980.
AIU: expecting perfection from the world since 1980.
choco
+0 -0
the only way you can NOT be empathetically incensed, offended, indignant... nay, enraged is if you're stoned out of your gourd. And I am going to say that I think that you are!
the only way you can NOT be empathetically incensed, offended, indignant... nay, enraged is if you're stoned out of your gourd. And I am going to say that I think that you are!
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Exactly. AIU: Born yesterday.
So you went to some store that's so big they have to use radios to talk and are surprised by mistaken inventory? And you were actually stupid enough to believe an online site telling you that it's instock at the store without calling ahead first?
Yeah, all of this should work, I totally agree with you. I also agree that there should be peace and harmony forever and no AIU on assetbar, but those aren't gonna happen, either.
Welcome to the party, pal.
Exactly. AIU: Born yesterday.
So you went to some store that's so big they have to use radios to talk and are surprised by mistaken inventory? And you were actually stupid enough to believe an online site telling you that it's instock at the store without calling ahead first?
Yeah, all of this should work, I totally agree with you. I also agree that there should be peace and harmony forever and no AIU on assetbar, but those aren't gonna happen, either.
Welcome to the party, pal.
choco
+0 -0
yeah and New Orleans shouldn't flood and we shouldn't have hijackers sneaking weapons onto airplanes but just because an airport is so big you have to use a radio to talk to someone else I guess then all bets are off that's how it works right? that's how it works?
Listen buddy... you see up top where that dude who is on the global ignore list made a post, and then I made a post telling him he's on the global ignore list, and then he made a post thanking me for being considerate enough to let him know this fact? Do you see that? It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to show a little consideration and empathy for another human being. It doesn't. If AIU can do it, maybe other people can too. Maybe you are some asshole who only thinks about herself, and that's fine, really it is, and really hopefully you get terminally run over by a considerate bus one of these days, because hey, if you ever do notice that hey, the inventory system is wrong, obviously you're the sort of asshole who isn't going to say "I should fix it in case it causes some inconvenience for someone." You're the kind of asshole who walks past a leaking hole in a dike and says "hey it's not my problem." You're the kind of asshole who would work in airport security and not try to bring attention to inherent flaws in the system which you notice (assuming your asshole self is even capable of recognizing a systemic flaw when it jumps up out of it's seat and smacks you in the forehead with a 2x4)... see there's a reason why we have security systems... these systems actually do, when they work, provide a certain measure of convenience and even... wait for it.... security for people.... and likewise, an inventory system actually provides a certain measure of convenience for people.... sure no one is going to die if the inventory system shows something in stock when it's not supposed to... but it's the same fucking concept... same concept... if you're too stoned out of your mind to understand the one concept, then you're too stoned to understand the other concept. you sir lack empathy, you lack understanding, you are a miserable piece of shit that gets so severely stuck in the sphincter/rectum of humanity that we have to use medical procedures to remove it. And remove you we should, because you are a cancer, destined to contribute as much as possible to the failure of humanity in any endeavor of which you are a part. I hope you get run over by a bus. And I hope it hurts before you expire!
yeah and New Orleans shouldn't flood and we shouldn't have hijackers sneaking weapons onto airplanes but just because an airport is so big you have to use a radio to talk to someone else I guess then all bets are off that's how it works right? that's how it works?
Listen buddy... you see up top where that dude who is on the global ignore list made a post, and then I made a post telling him he's on the global ignore list, and then he made a post thanking me for being considerate enough to let him know this fact? Do you see that? It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to show a little consideration and empathy for another human being. It doesn't. If AIU can do it, maybe other people can too. Maybe you are some asshole who only thinks about herself, and that's fine, really it is, and really hopefully you get terminally run over by a considerate bus one of these days, because hey, if you ever do notice that hey, the inventory system is wrong, obviously you're the sort of asshole who isn't going to say "I should fix it in case it causes some inconvenience for someone." You're the kind of asshole who walks past a leaking hole in a dike and says "hey it's not my problem." You're the kind of asshole who would work in airport security and not try to bring attention to inherent flaws in the system which you notice (assuming your asshole self is even capable of recognizing a systemic flaw when it jumps up out of it's seat and smacks you in the forehead with a 2x4)... see there's a reason why we have security systems... these systems actually do, when they work, provide a certain measure of convenience and even... wait for it.... security for people.... and likewise, an inventory system actually provides a certain measure of convenience for people.... sure no one is going to die if the inventory system shows something in stock when it's not supposed to... but it's the same fucking concept... same concept... if you're too stoned out of your mind to understand the one concept, then you're too stoned to understand the other concept. you sir lack empathy, you lack understanding, you are a miserable piece of shit that gets so severely stuck in the sphincter/rectum of humanity that we have to use medical procedures to remove it. And remove you we should, because you are a cancer, destined to contribute as much as possible to the failure of humanity in any endeavor of which you are a part. I hope you get run over by a bus. And I hope it hurts before you expire!
mensch
+0 -0
It must be interesting to be a narcissistic sociopath.
Tell us more.
It must be interesting to be a narcissistic sociopath.
Tell us more.
mensch
+1 -0
By "tell us more" I meant SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE.
By "tell us more" I meant SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
You'd think as a young middle class white male in the developed world at the beginning of the 21st century, with the ammount of time to waste that the global industrial capitalist system bestows on such a person in such a situation, I'd feel I had ample time to take out of my slovenly hours of leisure to read both of those choco comments before dismissing them.
I DO NOT FEEL I HAVE THAT TIME.
You'd think as a young middle class white male in the developed world at the beginning of the 21st century, with the ammount of time to waste that the global industrial capitalist system bestows on such a person in such a situation, I'd feel I had ample time to take out of my slovenly hours of leisure to read both of those choco comments before dismissing them.
I DO NOT FEEL I HAVE THAT TIME.
choco
+0 -0
you kidding? people in middle class industrlization have less time than anyone
you kidding? people in middle class industrlization have less time than anyone
comrade_tom
+0 -0
You playin' me? Try explaining the concept of "a weekend" or "spring break" to a subsistence farmer or some chinese guy that works in a steel foundry, they'd probably laugh and then ask you for money.
Don't mean to get all oxfam on the internet y'all.
You playin' me? Try explaining the concept of "a weekend" or "spring break" to a subsistence farmer or some chinese guy that works in a steel foundry, they'd probably laugh and then ask you for money.
Don't mean to get all oxfam on the internet y'all.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Daaaaamn AIU, YOU CRAZY! I read all of that, but I'm ignoring most of it, and you know why.
All I'll say is that I'm a person who most likely has more experience and knowledge of these kind of inventory systems than you. I can guess a few of the reasons why they don't change the inventory; I'll let you in on one likely big reason: "loss prevention" and the institutional measures involved - the ability to alter digital inventory is severely restricted at a lot of stores because "most loss is from employees." Make it too easy to alter inventory, and you start to lose control of the ability to track loss.
So, there are certain levels of actual philosophy behind this. Stores know this is a problem, of course: it's a calculated risk to get you to the store, most likely.
I worked at a store years ago that had started doing this, and I knew it was not a good thing to do with the way they ran the inventory overall, the latter being something they were protocol-wise unlikely to change and technologically unable to do without a big overhaul of the system. Remember, this is corporate America: for most companies, it's a constant balancing act between "good customer service" and shareholder demands, with the latter the overwhelmingly important factor to management.
I'll shut up now before I go on sociopathic rant.
Daaaaamn AIU, YOU CRAZY! I read all of that, but I'm ignoring most of it, and you know why.
All I'll say is that I'm a person who most likely has more experience and knowledge of these kind of inventory systems than you. I can guess a few of the reasons why they don't change the inventory; I'll let you in on one likely big reason: "loss prevention" and the institutional measures involved - the ability to alter digital inventory is severely restricted at a lot of stores because "most loss is from employees." Make it too easy to alter inventory, and you start to lose control of the ability to track loss.
So, there are certain levels of actual philosophy behind this. Stores know this is a problem, of course: it's a calculated risk to get you to the store, most likely.
I worked at a store years ago that had started doing this, and I knew it was not a good thing to do with the way they ran the inventory overall, the latter being something they were protocol-wise unlikely to change and technologically unable to do without a big overhaul of the system. Remember, this is corporate America: for most companies, it's a constant balancing act between "good customer service" and shareholder demands, with the latter the overwhelmingly important factor to management.
I'll shut up now before I go on sociopathic rant.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Even if AIU/choco is crazy, he's not necessarily wrong.
In January, Costco had a big sale on plasma TVs, and it was my wife's birthday, so I finally decided to get one. I called the store ahead of time, they said they had several in stock. I drove a half an hour, they had none in stock.
They told me the next store had some in stock. I drove an hour, they had none in stock.
They said the next store had five. I drove another half hour, they had one.
At the second store, the guy told me they knew the TVs were missing at all these stores--corporate had sent out an e-mail about it. But they didn't tell me when I asked, "Should I drive to your store to get this specific item?"
I know they need to track loss, but they do not need to mislead customers. They should flag "errors" in their system so that floor reps can tell people not to bother driving an hour out of their way, but management can still investigate disappeared merchandise. This would be easy to do, and would improve service and inventory control at the same time.
Even if AIU/choco is crazy, he's not necessarily wrong.
In January, Costco had a big sale on plasma TVs, and it was my wife's birthday, so I finally decided to get one. I called the store ahead of time, they said they had several in stock. I drove a half an hour, they had none in stock.
They told me the next store had some in stock. I drove an hour, they had none in stock.
They said the next store had five. I drove another half hour, they had one.
At the second store, the guy told me they knew the TVs were missing at all these stores--corporate had sent out an e-mail about it. But they didn't tell me when I asked, "Should I drive to your store to get this specific item?"
I know they need to track loss, but they do not need to mislead customers. They should flag "errors" in their system so that floor reps can tell people not to bother driving an hour out of their way, but management can still investigate disappeared merchandise. This would be easy to do, and would improve service and inventory control at the same time.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
All good points, but again, you're hoping for great customer service from large companies that ultimately thrive on volume. Even when ideas make sense, and would ultimately make it easier for customers to buy things and give the company money, new procedures/systems are costly to implement, and, in my experience, companies seem hesitant to do this. Even when they do, it always seems like one new problem is created when one is fixed. I know, because I was always finding faults at the store I worked for and bitching and moaning, as well.
Logically, there should be an end, but in practice inventory is one neverending headache. At big stores, something will always be wrong, and it will annoy somebody.
I even worked in a much-better-than-average retail environment, but the lesson I learned is that I will never walk into a big retail store and be AIU-style pissed off after I found out they didn't have what I thought they had. It's the nature of the beast: big volume, low-paid employees, sloppy customers...it's a recipe for disappointment.
Actually, I'm going to put a big part of this on the employees. Any good employee will know the pratfalls of the system. When I had a customer ask me if something was at another store, I'd tell them "they're supposed to have a copy, but it could obviously be an order for someone else, it could be out of place, could be a glitch...you want me to call and check?" And I would make sure the person at the other store went and found it and then asked them to hold it before I told the customer it was there.
holy fucking shit it's my friend who's getting his MBA at Duke not me. forgot all this bullshit.
All good points, but again, you're hoping for great customer service from large companies that ultimately thrive on volume. Even when ideas make sense, and would ultimately make it easier for customers to buy things and give the company money, new procedures/systems are costly to implement, and, in my experience, companies seem hesitant to do this. Even when they do, it always seems like one new problem is created when one is fixed. I know, because I was always finding faults at the store I worked for and bitching and moaning, as well.
Logically, there should be an end, but in practice inventory is one neverending headache. At big stores, something will always be wrong, and it will annoy somebody.
I even worked in a much-better-than-average retail environment, but the lesson I learned is that I will never walk into a big retail store and be AIU-style pissed off after I found out they didn't have what I thought they had. It's the nature of the beast: big volume, low-paid employees, sloppy customers...it's a recipe for disappointment.
Actually, I'm going to put a big part of this on the employees. Any good employee will know the pratfalls of the system. When I had a customer ask me if something was at another store, I'd tell them "they're supposed to have a copy, but it could obviously be an order for someone else, it could be out of place, could be a glitch...you want me to call and check?" And I would make sure the person at the other store went and found it and then asked them to hold it before I told the customer it was there.
holy fucking shit it's my friend who's getting his MBA at Duke not me. forgot all this bullshit.
choco
+0 -0
pratfall? is that a word? a typo? or one of those things where your brain sort of picks a spelling for you without you thinking about it? there should be a word for that latter phenomenon and it should be an anamatopea ... however the fuck that's spelled.
yeah you're totally right... it's inherent in the system... a free market will do crazy things like adopt a keyboard layout standard that has been designed to be as difficult as possible to use. (qwert)
but I'll tell you what... if more people got AIU pissed at shit, shit would get fixed... people would have to start finding root causes... and the root cause of an inventory glitch is probably a whole mix of social problems including low paid employees and employees treated like shit and discouraged for 'taking ownership' in anything they do... but if people could get AIU-pissed about an inventory glitch, then maybe they could get AIU-pissed at other problems as well, and eventually the pressure would have to wind it's way through the system until it pressed on the root causes.
I wonder if all those postal employees going postal ever had any effect on the post office corporate culture...??? it was a culture that was severely out of whack as far as corporate cultures go... I've seen first hand how cultures in a union shop can especially get way out of whack due to lack of free market mechanisms... in a more free market, employees say 'fuck this shit' and they leave, and the company sometimes has to react by not treating employees like shit as much as it does, but in a union shop employees say 'I'm making $10 an hour more than I can make anywhere else, and I don't have to work that hard, I better stay' and so they put up with the company treating them like shit, and the company says 'labor costs are way too high, and the union has too much power, we need to keep the pressure on to increase turn over and to use the pressure as a bargaining chip' and so the company goes way out of it's way to treat the employees like shit... all of which really increases the statistical probability that some employees will go postal.
yeah I guess going postal is a really extreme reaction that's not likely to effect root causes. But if every time a customer was confronted with a situation where they were inconvenienced with something being out of stock, if that customer shoved a rack of merchandise to the floor, you can bet that store would get it's act together yesterday. how many customers would it take shoving a rack of inventory to the floor, in a 4 week period, for the store to change it's inventory practice? Maybe I should stage a happening...
pratfall? is that a word? a typo? or one of those things where your brain sort of picks a spelling for you without you thinking about it? there should be a word for that latter phenomenon and it should be an anamatopea ... however the fuck that's spelled.
yeah you're totally right... it's inherent in the system... a free market will do crazy things like adopt a keyboard layout standard that has been designed to be as difficult as possible to use. (qwert)
but I'll tell you what... if more people got AIU pissed at shit, shit would get fixed... people would have to start finding root causes... and the root cause of an inventory glitch is probably a whole mix of social problems including low paid employees and employees treated like shit and discouraged for 'taking ownership' in anything they do... but if people could get AIU-pissed about an inventory glitch, then maybe they could get AIU-pissed at other problems as well, and eventually the pressure would have to wind it's way through the system until it pressed on the root causes.
I wonder if all those postal employees going postal ever had any effect on the post office corporate culture...??? it was a culture that was severely out of whack as far as corporate cultures go... I've seen first hand how cultures in a union shop can especially get way out of whack due to lack of free market mechanisms... in a more free market, employees say 'fuck this shit' and they leave, and the company sometimes has to react by not treating employees like shit as much as it does, but in a union shop employees say 'I'm making $10 an hour more than I can make anywhere else, and I don't have to work that hard, I better stay' and so they put up with the company treating them like shit, and the company says 'labor costs are way too high, and the union has too much power, we need to keep the pressure on to increase turn over and to use the pressure as a bargaining chip' and so the company goes way out of it's way to treat the employees like shit... all of which really increases the statistical probability that some employees will go postal.
yeah I guess going postal is a really extreme reaction that's not likely to effect root causes. But if every time a customer was confronted with a situation where they were inconvenienced with something being out of stock, if that customer shoved a rack of merchandise to the floor, you can bet that store would get it's act together yesterday. how many customers would it take shoving a rack of inventory to the floor, in a 4 week period, for the store to change it's inventory practice? Maybe I should stage a happening...
daedala_x
+3 -0
uh, could you guys rewrite this thread, except shorter and funnier?
uh, could you guys rewrite this thread, except shorter and funnier?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
sorry daedae, AIU should've talked more about a forbidden desire to put baby penises in his mouth.
That's your thing, right?
sorry daedae, AIU should've talked more about a forbidden desire to put baby penises in his mouth.
That's your thing, right?
daedala_x
+0 -0
you betcher adult ding dong it is!
you betcher adult ding dong it is!
belgand
+0 -0
You shouldn't say that sort of thing about Elbox.
You shouldn't say that sort of thing about Elbox.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
One point before this thread implodes. Does anybody think these stores may have a policy never to tell a potential customer they are out of stock of an item, in the hope that when the customer comes to the store they may buy a substitute product?
One point before this thread implodes. Does anybody think these stores may have a policy never to tell a potential customer they are out of stock of an item, in the hope that when the customer comes to the store they may buy a substitute product?
aperson
+0 -0
I wouldnt be at all surprised given that 9-11 was an inside job.
I wouldnt be at all surprised given that 9-11 was an inside job.
daedala_x
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
aperson
+1 -0
thsknvs
thsknvs
stereo
+0 -0
My parents once called a Canadian Tire to see if an item was in stock and to hold it. It was, and they headed to the store, picked it up, took it to the checkout.
The clerk said, "I think someone called to reserve that" which demonstrates some level of communication that I had not expected.
And that is my shopping story.
My parents once called a Canadian Tire to see if an item was in stock and to hold it. It was, and they headed to the store, picked it up, took it to the checkout.
The clerk said, "I think someone called to reserve that" which demonstrates some level of communication that I had not expected.
And that is my shopping story.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I have no shopping story. I think I am a stronger person because of it.
I have no shopping story. I think I am a stronger person because of it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i used to work freight at Kohl's. did so with a bunch of spry old guys in their seventies. i miss them. they were really funny. definitely my favorite coworkers ever. anyways, there, it's not enough to just look it up in the system. someone actually goes to find the item, and if you ever asked to talk to the person who looked for it, they could tell you how many of each color they had. they do some good things there...unless you're calling about shoes. God help you then. the shoe department in every store is a clusterfuzz. so much loss in that place, it is IN. SANE. (oh and also sorry sizes larger than eleven, they only order one pair each half size per style per shipment.)
i used to work freight at Kohl's. did so with a bunch of spry old guys in their seventies. i miss them. they were really funny. definitely my favorite coworkers ever. anyways, there, it's not enough to just look it up in the system. someone actually goes to find the item, and if you ever asked to talk to the person who looked for it, they could tell you how many of each color they had. they do some good things there...unless you're calling about shoes. God help you then. the shoe department in every store is a clusterfuzz. so much loss in that place, it is IN. SANE. (oh and also sorry sizes larger than eleven, they only order one pair each half size per style per shipment.)
wingspan
+0 -0
Also sorry to skinny dudes. Kohl's (at least the stores near me) do not carry men's clothing in any size smaller than medium.
Also sorry to skinny dudes. Kohl's (at least the stores near me) do not carry men's clothing in any size smaller than medium.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the stores near you are awful, then, or all the smaller people snatch their clothing up before you get a chance.
the stores near you are awful, then, or all the smaller people snatch their clothing up before you get a chance.
wingspan
+0 -0
Horrible stores. They literally do not even stock it, I've asked.
Horrible stores. They literally do not even stock it, I've asked.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
...you don't live in Mississippi, do you?
...you don't live in Mississippi, do you?
wingspan
+0 -0
no, my state is sort of in the middle of the obesity rankings. also, i felt like there should be a "chubby" somewhere in this thread.
no, my state is sort of in the middle of the obesity rankings. also, i felt like there should be a "chubby" somewhere in this thread.
wazza
+0 -0
One time, I went into a shop, having no idea whether they had what I needed or not. I found what I needed, and I bought it.
This caused me no difficulty whatsoever.
One time, I went into a shop, having no idea whether they had what I needed or not. I found what I needed, and I bought it.
This caused me no difficulty whatsoever.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
typically, my favorite shopping experiences involve no interaction with the hired help at all. just a quick 'ah, here it is' where i then buzz to the check-out where the most i have to say is 'yes' and 'thank you'.
typically, my favorite shopping experiences involve no interaction with the hired help at all. just a quick 'ah, here it is' where i then buzz to the check-out where the most i have to say is 'yes' and 'thank you'.
re5urgam
+0 -0
I agree wholeheartedly with this. Sure, customer service generally means approaching the customer, being welcoming and friendly, but sometimes it means letting a customer do her own thing.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. Sure, customer service generally means approaching the customer, being welcoming and friendly, but sometimes it means letting a customer do her own thing.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
You are only 24. It only gets better from here. Your friend that you have known since high school thinks that since people are stupid, we should all agree to surrender our last shred of dignity and self-respect by submitting control over our bodies to the government. He really believes that, and doesn't understand why you are all upset and yelling when he explains it. And he is highly intelligent; not one of the stupid people, yet he still believes in slavery.
You are only 24. It only gets better from here. Your friend that you have known since high school thinks that since people are stupid, we should all agree to surrender our last shred of dignity and self-respect by submitting control over our bodies to the government. He really believes that, and doesn't understand why you are all upset and yelling when he explains it. And he is highly intelligent; not one of the stupid people, yet he still believes in slavery.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
We've already sold our bodies to the government, It's called OBAMACARE people! Won't be long till the NHS deathwagons start a coming to collect corpses to power the foundries in the state abortion factories!
Ezekiel 38 and 39 people, ITS ALL THERE.
We've already sold our bodies to the government, It's called OBAMACARE people! Won't be long till the NHS deathwagons start a coming to collect corpses to power the foundries in the state abortion factories!
Ezekiel 38 and 39 people, ITS ALL THERE.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
wake up shee--blah blah blah.
wake up shee--blah blah blah.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
See what I mean? I talk about the difference between freedom and slavery that calls itself freedom, and what do I get? The fucking Bible. Beefzekial 85.3 - it's all there.
See what I mean? I talk about the difference between freedom and slavery that calls itself freedom, and what do I get? The fucking Bible. Beefzekial 85.3 - it's all there.
belgand
+0 -0
Nobody rocks my can like Beefzekial 85.3...
Am I the twelfth caller?
Nobody rocks my can like Beefzekial 85.3...
Am I the twelfth caller?
flaxplus
+0 -0
I am extremely disappointed Beef didn't hulk out.
I am extremely disappointed Beef didn't hulk out.
steerpike66
+0 -0
.........................
.........................
steerpike66
+0 -0
I think most of use are assuming that this isn't The End and maybe it isn't. But I'm going to behave as though it was and be respectful and grave.
...
...
(autumn winds, crow caws)
I think most of use are assuming that this isn't The End and maybe it isn't. But I'm going to behave as though it was and be respectful and grave.
...
...
(autumn winds, crow caws)
irien
+0 -0
Call it denial, Beef will be back.
Here's the theory: a hastened lash results in the lashee being reincarnated as an Unfortunate Being, but I ask: is any creature that walks the earth more unfortunate than C. "Roast Beef" Kazenzakis?
It's like putting the blue portal on the ceiling above and the red portal under your feet. Beef is just going to loop through existance as Most Unfortunate Dude, forever.
Call it denial, Beef will be back.
Here's the theory: a hastened lash results in the lashee being reincarnated as an Unfortunate Being, but I ask: is any creature that walks the earth more unfortunate than C. "Roast Beef" Kazenzakis?
It's like putting the blue portal on the ceiling above and the red portal under your feet. Beef is just going to loop through existance as Most Unfortunate Dude, forever.
wazza
+0 -0
for you, the other portal was red? I saw it as yellow.
for you, the other portal was red? I saw it as yellow.
anticitizen
+0 -0
orange it was ORANGE!
orange it was ORANGE!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this was a triumph*.
*HUGE SUCCESS
this was a triumph*.
*HUGE SUCCESS
belgand
+0 -0
While it's within the personality of Beef I have to say I'm a bit surprised that he just goes along with it. He was reading the primer and thus knows that he is not specifically doomed, but there are hastening triggers that must be avoided. Even more he can nullify the Lash. True, he didn't get to read the crucial piece of information, but he could easily mention this to CH, maybe get another copy of the book. He doesn't have to hasten himself, but he does anyway without a word.
It's true to Beef's nature, but it still doesn't sit right entirely.
While it's within the personality of Beef I have to say I'm a bit surprised that he just goes along with it. He was reading the primer and thus knows that he is not specifically doomed, but there are hastening triggers that must be avoided. Even more he can nullify the Lash. True, he didn't get to read the crucial piece of information, but he could easily mention this to CH, maybe get another copy of the book. He doesn't have to hasten himself, but he does anyway without a word.
It's true to Beef's nature, but it still doesn't sit right entirely.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
He's possibly having a very bad day. Black Dog on his back y'all.
He's possibly having a very bad day. Black Dog on his back y'all.
johnmatrix
+4 -0
Awhile back, daedala_x said
"ditto. i've gone through some bad times. sometimes i get the same feeling when i read beef, and then immediately after i get sort of angry because beef's depression is somewhat of a gimmick. he hangs out with a group of dudes who involve him in all sorts of hijinks. some of them are willing to spare him a lung, build him a glass chamber with incubator arms just so he'll hang out, or set everything up like Cheers, and it's like dang, beef, how are you still gonna be depressed? what you got to be depressed about? you're just plain ungrateful. if i had a kind and funny lady to take care for me and a bunch of doggs who understood and accommodated my strange cares (i mean yea they rag but it is out of Fondness) i would be hella satisfied."
I agree. He moved out of his grandmother's house, he's married to a woman who loves him and accepts his faults, but none of that seems to have done anything for his self worth in the long run. Obviously, Beef can't be a perfectly happy and well adjusted individual, but he doesn't have to be a total mess either.
Awhile back, daedala_x said
"ditto. i've gone through some bad times. sometimes i get the same feeling when i read beef, and then immediately after i get sort of angry because beef's depression is somewhat of a gimmick. he hangs out with a group of dudes who involve him in all sorts of hijinks. some of them are willing to spare him a lung, build him a glass chamber with incubator arms just so he'll hang out, or set everything up like Cheers, and it's like dang, beef, how are you still gonna be depressed? what you got to be depressed about? you're just plain ungrateful. if i had a kind and funny lady to take care for me and a bunch of doggs who understood and accommodated my strange cares (i mean yea they rag but it is out of Fondness) i would be hella satisfied."
I agree. He moved out of his grandmother's house, he's married to a woman who loves him and accepts his faults, but none of that seems to have done anything for his self worth in the long run. Obviously, Beef can't be a perfectly happy and well adjusted individual, but he doesn't have to be a total mess either.
kotoku
+0 -0
These things are true, but let us think about Roast Beef a little more.
Remember when Roast Beef finally made a good chunk of money? A stewardess tried to please him orally and take it from him whilst breaking up his relationship with Molly.
Remember when he was just trying to be a happy go lucky pot smoker? Drove a golf cart off a cliff.
Remember when he got shot? Yeah. Multiple times.
Remember when he lived with his Mom and Grandmother? Horrible.
Also, beef is smart. The saying "Ignorance is Bliss" is very, very true.
These things are true, but let us think about Roast Beef a little more.
Remember when Roast Beef finally made a good chunk of money? A stewardess tried to please him orally and take it from him whilst breaking up his relationship with Molly.
Remember when he was just trying to be a happy go lucky pot smoker? Drove a golf cart off a cliff.
Remember when he got shot? Yeah. Multiple times.
Remember when he lived with his Mom and Grandmother? Horrible.
Also, beef is smart. The saying "Ignorance is Bliss" is very, very true.
farqussus
+0 -1
while this is reasonable, depression is not a reasonable problem.
while this is reasonable, depression is not a reasonable problem.
johnmatrix
+1 -0
That's true, but I still find it hard to sympathize with a character who's depressed for no reason, especially since given how much screen time (page time? Panel time?) he gets, and for how he's almost never called on it. Really, do you think people like Pat and Lyle would be polite about his problems?
That's true, but I still find it hard to sympathize with a character who's depressed for no reason, especially since given how much screen time (page time? Panel time?) he gets, and for how he's almost never called on it. Really, do you think people like Pat and Lyle would be polite about his problems?
farqussus
+3 -0
Most people who are depressed don't have a reason. It's a mental illness (sometimes). It is not always a symptom of circumstances.
Most people who are depressed don't have a reason. It's a mental illness (sometimes). It is not always a symptom of circumstances.
choco
+0 -0
A comment left by choco was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by falseprophet, slipperyfreud, Stonecrab, genocidefish, cpnglxynchos, Irien)
A comment left by choco was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by falseprophet, slipperyfreud, Stonecrab, genocidefish, cpnglxynchos, Irien)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
we found your comment lame.
we found your comment lame.
choco
+0 -0
how in the FUCK can you BITCHES lame this shit! I'm talking about UNREALITY I'm talking about CARTOON CAT in relation to his CARTOON PANELS. CARTOON CAT can't be talked about in relation to the PANELS. The CAT and the PANELS are in DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS, DIFFERENT UNIVERSES, you FuCkS!
and yet you give me REAL LAMES. I deserve ABSTRACT LAMES for my comment, not REAL LAMES! fuck OFF! GODDDD!
how in the FUCK can you BITCHES lame this shit! I'm talking about UNREALITY I'm talking about CARTOON CAT in relation to his CARTOON PANELS. CARTOON CAT can't be talked about in relation to the PANELS. The CAT and the PANELS are in DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS, DIFFERENT UNIVERSES, you FuCkS!
and yet you give me REAL LAMES. I deserve ABSTRACT LAMES for my comment, not REAL LAMES! fuck OFF! GODDDD!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
now i see why you ignored me.
now i see why you ignored me.
icecube
+0 -0
My diagnosis: Beef is a Job-like character with permanently bad luck. He is not allowed to be happy. Plus he's got depression
My diagnosis: Beef is a Job-like character with permanently bad luck. He is not allowed to be happy. Plus he's got depression
wazza
+0 -0
he also has an unshakeable feeling that he is the guy who sucks.
he also has an unshakeable feeling that he is the guy who sucks.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
While certainly Beef's life isn't roses, I hesitate to say that he has permanently bad luck, since he was able to find true love. Getting married did wonders for Charles Schultz.
While certainly Beef's life isn't roses, I hesitate to say that he has permanently bad luck, since he was able to find true love. Getting married did wonders for Charles Schultz.
edd36
+0 -0
That's the thing about depression though: it's not rational. Depression can hit you just as hard when you should be happiest as it can when things are going badly for you in life. Bad things can trigger bouts of depression, but if you have it bad it can crop up at any time, for almost any reason.
That's the thing about depression though: it's not rational. Depression can hit you just as hard when you should be happiest as it can when things are going badly for you in life. Bad things can trigger bouts of depression, but if you have it bad it can crop up at any time, for almost any reason.
octafish
+0 -0
Little red-headed girl?
Little red-headed girl?
icecube
+0 -0
I do take your point. The dude is making the worst of a good situation. But Beef's neuroses is the flaw that makes him an interesting character. Married or not, I would no more want him to stop being depressed than I would want Pat to stop being a dick or Todd to stop being a scumbag.
I do take your point. The dude is making the worst of a good situation. But Beef's neuroses is the flaw that makes him an interesting character. Married or not, I would no more want him to stop being depressed than I would want Pat to stop being a dick or Todd to stop being a scumbag.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Oh, absolutely. That is his character. But I think that there can at least be a little contentment in his life, and that he can be a mess without being a total mess. Like a while back, when a strip called back Roast Beef's inability to take a bite out of his toast because of his depression, but the second time around, he's still depressed, but is still able to do it.
Oh, absolutely. That is his character. But I think that there can at least be a little contentment in his life, and that he can be a mess without being a total mess. Like a while back, when a strip called back Roast Beef's inability to take a bite out of his toast because of his depression, but the second time around, he's still depressed, but is still able to do it.
wazza
+0 -0
two steps forwards, one step back, man. This year he's biting his toast, next year he might not take people up on the offer of a Hastening at all, or at least wait until he can talk to his friends about it.
two steps forwards, one step back, man. This year he's biting his toast, next year he might not take people up on the offer of a Hastening at all, or at least wait until he can talk to his friends about it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
As someone who sees it quite a bit, for various reasons, your attitude is the reason people with mental illness will often find themselves with lots of cats and a moontan.
As someone who sees it quite a bit, for various reasons, your attitude is the reason people with mental illness will often find themselves with lots of cats and a moontan.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Actually, that's a bit harsh. Dealing with someone with mental illness is really challenging and probably not in everyone's capacity to cope with. I take back my harsh stab.
Actually, that's a bit harsh. Dealing with someone with mental illness is really challenging and probably not in everyone's capacity to cope with. I take back my harsh stab.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Keep in kind that I was focusing solely on Beef, not real people with his problems. It isn't just that it doesn't make sense, realistic or not, it's that if it's inherent, then he'll never be able to work past his problems, denying his best opportunity for character development. Which is something you generally want with fictional characters, regardless of their situation.
Keep in kind that I was focusing solely on Beef, not real people with his problems. It isn't just that it doesn't make sense, realistic or not, it's that if it's inherent, then he'll never be able to work past his problems, denying his best opportunity for character development. Which is something you generally want with fictional characters, regardless of their situation.
farqussus
+0 -0
nuts to that. i don't want to read about someone with depression who can magically deal with it just because the fact that nearly everyone in real life can't is boring to you. there are other ways for his character to develop.
nuts to that. i don't want to read about someone with depression who can magically deal with it just because the fact that nearly everyone in real life can't is boring to you. there are other ways for his character to develop.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
And how is working past his depression over a long term "magically" getting over it? I wasn't aware that depression was the mental AIDs, with no way to improve it.
And how is working past his depression over a long term "magically" getting over it? I wasn't aware that depression was the mental AIDs, with no way to improve it.
farqussus
+0 -0
oh well, maybe it's just me. Here I was thinking it was just something I had to live with. I'd sure like to know how to fix it.
oh well, maybe it's just me. Here I was thinking it was just something I had to live with. I'd sure like to know how to fix it.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -1
Quote:
He's tired. You'll get to a place where you'll be so tired, it's not worth fighting or struggling. You won't have any energy left. The tank will be empty.
Quote:
He doesn't have to hasten himself, but he does anyway without a word.
He's tired. You'll get to a place where you'll be so tired, it's not worth fighting or struggling. You won't have any energy left. The tank will be empty.
camidumas
+0 -0
While one can get tired like that (and by 'one' I mean me) the planet stays populated because of survival reflex. We're not designed to literally roll over and die just because some authority guy says us we can. Quite the opposite.
If we were, just yelling kiss my ass , at random strangers, would work more often.
While one can get tired like that (and by 'one' I mean me) the planet stays populated because of survival reflex. We're not designed to literally roll over and die just because some authority guy says us we can. Quite the opposite.
If we were, just yelling kiss my ass , at random strangers, would work more often.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
If you're actually 22, statistically you shouldn't know the first thing about tired, although there are obviously aberrations among those whom life has severely beaten. I'm guessing you're not really in that lot either.
Speaking personally, I am, or was, and in hindsight it is far better to be hammered by the slings and arrows when you're young, because you have that energy and resilience, if nothing else.
You, child, are still riding an upward, illusive rocket of blinding life force just starting its 2nd stage.
As for any authority guy, he's that lone spectator in seat 1-Z.
If you're actually 22, statistically you shouldn't know the first thing about tired, although there are obviously aberrations among those whom life has severely beaten. I'm guessing you're not really in that lot either.
Speaking personally, I am, or was, and in hindsight it is far better to be hammered by the slings and arrows when you're young, because you have that energy and resilience, if nothing else.
You, child, are still riding an upward, illusive rocket of blinding life force just starting its 2nd stage.
As for any authority guy, he's that lone spectator in seat 1-Z.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
/pontification>
/pontification>
camidumas
+0 -0
Actually I have been in a wheelchair off and on since I was 5. It is no fun. But it does entitle me to a certain authority on the subject of tired.
Actually I have been in a wheelchair off and on since I was 5. It is no fun. But it does entitle me to a certain authority on the subject of tired.
anticitizen
+0 -0
woah...
shit just got real...
woah...
shit just got real...
choco
+0 -0
Like fucking hell! My best friend died of lazy wheel chair sores in his lazy wheel chair! not cute not funny etc
Like fucking hell! My best friend died of lazy wheel chair sores in his lazy wheel chair! not cute not funny etc
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Okay, love, you got me at statistically. Hug?
HUGGGGGGGGG {{{{{{{{{{{ camidumas }}}}}}}}}
Okay, love, you got me at statistically. Hug?
HUGGGGGGGGG {{{{{{{{{{{ camidumas }}}}}}}}}
camidumas
+0 -0
Aww, hugs from giant imaginary scorpion terminus. Yay!
Aww, hugs from giant imaginary scorpion terminus. Yay!
camidumas
+0 -0
Oh, if only.
Oh, if only.
gigoloferocious
+0 -0
such little self worth
such little self worth
mavisbeacon
+3 -0
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
jonmw
+0 -0
I'd hate to think that I'd take my final drink from something with a hexagonal rim. It looks like a... subtly distasteful vase.
What the heck is wrong with a normal glass, I'd like to know?
I'd hate to think that I'd take my final drink from something with a hexagonal rim. It looks like a... subtly distasteful vase.
What the heck is wrong with a normal glass, I'd like to know?
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
A normal glass wouldn't vanish from your hands once emptied. As if the sole purpose of its existence on the material plane was for that concoction. And now that its duties are fulfilled, it thus returns from whence it came.
A normal glass wouldn't vanish from your hands once emptied. As if the sole purpose of its existence on the material plane was for that concoction. And now that its duties are fulfilled, it thus returns from whence it came.
jonmw
+0 -0
It's still there in his hand in the bottom-left panel.
It's still there in his hand in the bottom-left panel.
noooo_oo_oo
+0 -0
Wha? But? Uh? GAH. I turned the brightness way down on my monitor and forgot about it, so all those dark lines kinda blend into each other if you don't try hard enough.
But while we're at it, wouldn't it be so cool if the glass did evaporate.
Wha? But? Uh? GAH. I turned the brightness way down on my monitor and forgot about it, so all those dark lines kinda blend into each other if you don't try hard enough.
But while we're at it, wouldn't it be so cool if the glass did evaporate.
jonmw
+0 -0
I'll give you that one!
I'll give you that one!
troy_convers
+0 -0
Y'all realise this might be the LAST EVER STRIP. No announcement, no 'Final Episode', zip nada, nothing.
What are the odds on Onstad waiting a week or so to release the next strip just to make people -
WONDER .
Y'all realise this might be the LAST EVER STRIP. No announcement, no 'Final Episode', zip nada, nothing.
What are the odds on Onstad waiting a week or so to release the next strip just to make people -
WONDER .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
one become two become nine become...
dude, we been saying that for a time.
shut it up.
shut it up, you.
one become two become nine become...
dude, we been saying that for a time.
shut it up.
shut it up, you.
kotoku
+0 -0
But the main page says to expect a strip this weekend....
But the main page says to expect a strip this weekend....
morbo
+0 -0
roast beef dead again? well, third times the charm.
roast beef dead again? well, third times the charm.
crom
+0 -0
This is actually his fourth time. Everyone forgets about that time he threw up on the electrical outlet and went to hell, which coincidentally, is one of my favorite strips.
This is actually his fourth time. Everyone forgets about that time he threw up on the electrical outlet and went to hell, which coincidentally, is one of my favorite strips.
crom
+0 -0
This one: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=12102003
This one: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=12102003
nice-on-water
+0 -0
exactly
exactly
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
cartilage head. will i dream?
cartilage head. will i dream?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i been sick yall. so sick i hab sine flu. ib i die tell 'em ma story
i been sick yall. so sick i hab sine flu. ib i die tell 'em ma story
stereo
+0 -0
How was your jet plane?
How was your jet plane?
wingspan
+0 -0
Is there a song you'd like us to play at your funeral?
Is there a song you'd like us to play at your funeral?
cpnglxynchos
+5 -0
This beautifully rendered treasure most recently unearthed by time shows that Gladi8orrex is been rather ailed. Whither he was still ill at the time of writing is thus-far uncertain. With his usage of 'been', Glad could either have meant the sickness had already passed, or that he was still "under the weather," but this mystery is solved with the next sentence where he uses 'have' in the present tense, showing the reader that he was indeed sick.
Exactly how ill he was, however, is hard to figure, as the word 'sine' precedes the word 'flu', which could be construed one of two ways. The first is that he has contracted the famed illness of his time, The Swine Flu, which he was possibly infected by an improperly cooked pork-chop or possibly from another person, though such transmission was found to be rare. The second way to translate the word 'sine' is the mathematical term, which refers to the the ratio of the length of the opposite side to the length of the hypotenuse of an angle. In vary sparingly-reported incidents, students or others too busied with trigonometric functions have become ill due to exposure to the toxic natures of formulas and variables, coming down with what is called "Sine Flu."
The author then begins to ponder his own mortality in the first half of the next sentence. This is a callback to his previous penning, "i fucked up guys." His mistake must have been dire, as when he continues, he demands that the reader tells "Em", Gladi8orrex's favorite great aunt's shortened name, which he turned into a term of endearment for the general public, "Ma Story", which is a 1953 movie about an addict mother's slow decline of health and her offspring's coming-to-terms with her death, which occurs at the end of the picture. It had a no star cast and meager budget so when it was slated for a release the weekend after Stalag 17's, it failed miserably. That Glad would refer to such a film is again but the tiniest glimpse into the author's mind, and perhaps a suggestion that the reader should take a glance at the flick and suffer as he and Ma do.
Truly, Gladi8orrex was a man. One that any of us could have known and admired. Showing his weaker side in such a manner is quite the vulnerable gesture. Only an incredible sort of person would be capable of letting so many in and gently letting out his emotions. His understandings. And, yes, his fears.
This beautifully rendered treasure most recently unearthed by time shows that Gladi8orrex is been rather ailed. Whither he was still ill at the time of writing is thus-far uncertain. With his usage of 'been', Glad could either have meant the sickness had already passed, or that he was still "under the weather," but this mystery is solved with the next sentence where he uses 'have' in the present tense, showing the reader that he was indeed sick.
Exactly how ill he was, however, is hard to figure, as the word 'sine' precedes the word 'flu', which could be construed one of two ways. The first is that he has contracted the famed illness of his time, The Swine Flu, which he was possibly infected by an improperly cooked pork-chop or possibly from another person, though such transmission was found to be rare. The second way to translate the word 'sine' is the mathematical term, which refers to the the ratio of the length of the opposite side to the length of the hypotenuse of an angle. In vary sparingly-reported incidents, students or others too busied with trigonometric functions have become ill due to exposure to the toxic natures of formulas and variables, coming down with what is called "Sine Flu."
The author then begins to ponder his own mortality in the first half of the next sentence. This is a callback to his previous penning, "i fucked up guys." His mistake must have been dire, as when he continues, he demands that the reader tells "Em", Gladi8orrex's favorite great aunt's shortened name, which he turned into a term of endearment for the general public, "Ma Story", which is a 1953 movie about an addict mother's slow decline of health and her offspring's coming-to-terms with her death, which occurs at the end of the picture. It had a no star cast and meager budget so when it was slated for a release the weekend after Stalag 17's, it failed miserably. That Glad would refer to such a film is again but the tiniest glimpse into the author's mind, and perhaps a suggestion that the reader should take a glance at the flick and suffer as he and Ma do.
Truly, Gladi8orrex was a man. One that any of us could have known and admired. Showing his weaker side in such a manner is quite the vulnerable gesture. Only an incredible sort of person would be capable of letting so many in and gently letting out his emotions. His understandings. And, yes, his fears.
farqussus
+0 -0
cpnglxynchos
cpnglxynchos
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Lemming
Lemming
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
seriously, who in hell gives these things chuppies.
seriously, who in hell gives these things chuppies.
icecube
+0 -0
what the hell is gladi8orex's icon? It gives me the creeps
what the hell is gladi8orex's icon? It gives me the creeps
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
tinhand
+0 -0
It's the "I like turtles" kid.
It's the "I like turtles" kid.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i saw blindness on encore or w/o jus' nah not 4 ours ego butt woz prety gute. uroig consempt. good bits, dolis work, cool unnatones. enjoye'd but 1 viewing is prob enuff. 2 mush rape 4 ma tastes
i saw blindness on encore or w/o jus' nah not 4 ours ego butt woz prety gute. uroig consempt. good bits, dolis work, cool unnatones. enjoye'd but 1 viewing is prob enuff. 2 mush rape 4 ma tastes
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
anyone else wanna take a crack at it?
anyone else wanna take a crack at it?
comrade_tom
+1 -0
I start by reading his posts in a very high pitched fast way, then gradually slow down and lower the pitch as they progress.
Try it yourselves,
I start by reading his posts in a very high pitched fast way, then gradually slow down and lower the pitch as they progress.
Try it yourselves,
icecube
+0 -0
A fine suggestion comrade_tom. I can only admire your dedication to comic effect.
Also, zombie turtle boy it is. Now that I am freed from my puzzlement I would hasten to add that I do actually like Glad's icon. "It sfits", as it were. Privately, I shall continue to think of it as some kind of Heath Ledger dwarf.
A fine suggestion comrade_tom. I can only admire your dedication to comic effect.
Also, zombie turtle boy it is. Now that I am freed from my puzzlement I would hasten to add that I do actually like Glad's icon. "It sfits", as it were. Privately, I shall continue to think of it as some kind of Heath Ledger dwarf.
bluemoon72
+0 -0
Glad, you're back! Glad you're back.
Glad, you're back! Glad you're back.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
lol ya
lol ya
rowboat
+1 -0
He that cannot see the hand of Lie Bot in this is blind, sir - blind!
He that cannot see the hand of Lie Bot in this is blind, sir - blind!
nonamejoe
+3 -0
I wonder if this is Ray's chance to not abandon a dying man, or if Cartilage Head will be a recurring storyline where Ray fails himself in this way.
I wonder if this is Ray's chance to not abandon a dying man, or if Cartilage Head will be a recurring storyline where Ray fails himself in this way.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Oh my god i didn't even think of that!
Oh my god i didn't even think of that!
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Ray currently has a small paperback embedded in his sweetbreads. I truly hope that no-one's going to be judging him for what he does in the next three weeks or so. Whether that's deserting a dying friend or pissing on one of the nurses while shrieking the first verse of "Frere Jacques" over and over.
Ray currently has a small paperback embedded in his sweetbreads. I truly hope that no-one's going to be judging him for what he does in the next three weeks or so. Whether that's deserting a dying friend or pissing on one of the nurses while shrieking the first verse of "Frere Jacques" over and over.
octafish
+0 -0
Well, I'd prefer if we used the term "noggin" or "bonce" as sweetbreads are thyroid and pancreas. Mmmm pancreas.
Well, I'd prefer if we used the term "noggin" or "bonce" as sweetbreads are thyroid and pancreas. Mmmm pancreas.
edd36
+0 -0
Ray's sweetbreads:
[IMGS OFF]
Ray's sweetbreads:
[IMGS OFF]
edd36
+0 -0
See, no evidence of a paperback at all .
See, no evidence of a paperback at all .
maximus
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I truly do want to see this all come back to the sapphic erotica competition. I feel that's a loose end that can be tied up quickly and comically with this supernatural element.
I truly do want to see this all come back to the sapphic erotica competition. I feel that's a loose end that can be tied up quickly and comically with this supernatural element.
maximus
+0 -0
Vinegar and Flannel: A Love Story
Vinegar and Flannel: A Love Story
re5urgam
+0 -0
Your avatar is scary.
Your avatar is scary.
enough_talk
+0 -0
CH is taking Cassandra to the end of the world party.
CH is taking Cassandra to the end of the world party.
dacapn
+0 -0
how many times this nigga gon die?
how many times this nigga gon die?
!
You exclaimed it.
[IMGS OFF]
Anyone else been watching too much True Blood/Hung, and saw this:
[IMGS OFF]
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by wharfrat, bunkzilla, Ham_Shoes)
Yeah, when I'm thinking of the Sopranos and remember that I just ------
NOOO!
I didn't mean to lame you! I found that hilarious!
Shit.
Well.
Seppuku it is.
Don't do a :( ! I chubbied it for you, and also for me. This is a good thread, and thorough.
Nice marmot.
Well because you are both awesome and the lamer wrote an anti-lame post, you both get chubs from me! :D
This would be a fine place to put a Candlejack refere
huh.
yeah.
when you really think about it, HBO is probably the only people who could actually do a thing.
All cutting to black in the middle o
f a sentence.
shut up and make a blank comment so i can chubby that.
Im not a whore
...I'm such a whore
Where is james Garner when you need him? You're a whore. Admit it. Admit you're a big whore. Go ahead.
Oh hell and damn yes I thought I was the only person who remembers My Fellow Americans.
is that the flick where Jack Lemmon drives into a snowman?
always kinda wanted to see that.
It's the Netherlands, not the Nether Realms.
now put this on and stand over there. i'll be back.
i mean,
I HAVE ALTERED THE DEAL. PRAY I DON'T ALTER IT FURTHER.
YOU ARE PART OF THE ASSETBAR ALLIANCE AND A TRAITOR. TAKE HER AWAY.
[IMGS OFF]
Let Four captains/
Bear Hamlet like a soldier to the stage./
For he was likely, had he been put on,/
To Have proved most royal. And for his passage/
The soldiers' music and the rites of war/
Speak loadly for him./
Take up the bodies. Such a sight as this/
Becomes the field, but here shows much amiss./
Go, bid the soldiers shoot./
FUCK
loudly for him, meh the sentiment remains.
And in the End
The Love you take
is equal to the debt
you leave your descendents
Holy shit.
"Welcome to the end
Watch your step Cassadra you may fall"
-Blind Guardian's And Then There Was Silence
holy shit!
Find myself in darkest places
Find myself drifting away
And the otherworld
The otherworld appears
I cannot be freed
I'm falling down
As time runs faster
Moves toward disaster
The ferryman will wait for you my dear
I wear my sunglasses at night/
So I can, So I can sleep
And then there was silence
Just a voice from the other world
Like a leaf in an icy world
Memories will fade
Perhaps the greatest song ever. Secretly.
Where is the light that I thought I was promised?
Where is the truth, and the hope and the way?
I've lost my footing, my spine, my eyes,
Everything keeps slipping away.
Where is the storybook ending?
The love, the joy, the laughter?
Is all there is just nothing at all?
Is there anything that matters?
Is this all we get for our lives?
And after everything, why is it still so lonely?
So blank, so dry, so numb?
Are we brought up just to crack and bleed out,
Unravel, coming undone?
Is this all we get?
Is this all we get for our lives?
i was listening to blind guardian when i read that
not that song though, curse of feanor here.
High's the fee
Soon my spirit will return
Welcome dawn
Your light will take me home
(Thus he died, Beef the wise)
Weep no more, woeful shepherds, weep no more,
For Lycidas your sorrow is not dead,
Sunk though he be beneath the wat'ry floor,
So sinks the day-star in the ocean bed,
And yet anon repairs his drooping head,
And tricks his beams, and with new spangled ore,
Flames in the forehead of the morning sky:
So Lycidas sunk low, but mounted high.
I can so hear that "aaaaahhh" sound it makes when it shows "HBO"
i thought True Blood was Showtime.
(i do not know much of anything about it other than vampires. my roomie is watching it. and i'm freaked out by hearing of the lusterous spell and folks getting hit by cars and running into the woods removing dey clothes.)
Yes, i have nothing more to give.
Honestly not mad for this arc, obviously Onstad isn't killing off one of his main characters and leaving Molly a widow, but wouldn't this be a sweet shirt!?
[IMGS OFF]
Everytime I see that image the end theme of the Bourne films starts playing in my head.
ah yes, Moby's "Extreme Ways"
All we are missing is a chocolate covered cherry recipe and a tomatohol car
never seen those movies.
cool that Moby is lol to finish up.
Oh man, I see it now. Moby will haunt my dreams forever now.
Here's a chubby for you.
you have never met a man as shiny as him.
he chases you in your mind,
Friedelmanni mean, greyfield.Moby was also the music for the MIAMI VICE movie three years back . . . Moby, who'da guessed?
yeah, i remember that. it was cool.
This is relevant to my interests
ughhhh. haven't been reading long, have you? nobody dies and stays dead in Achewood. in fact, nobody dies and stays dead in comics, period.
Charlie Brown does.
Charlie Brown died off-stage, where children would not see. This is allowed.
The cancer finally took him. We should have recognized it all along. His false optimism was perhaps an even greater sign than his baldness.
Gwen Stacy!
Steve Rogers! (He's still dead right?)
Nope!
Hell, even Jason Todd and Colossus are back and they were supposed to be dead as hell.
Of course, Whedon couldn't end things without getting rid of someone. Kind of a dick move really. Then again deciding that he can write Kitty and Colossus as Buffy/Angel surrogates was pretty weak as well.
Hal Jordan, Oliver Queen (snigger), Kal-el, Kon-el, Jor-el (bloody 'ell), Barry Allen, Jon J'onnz et al. Perhaps Beef will be coming back as a Black Lantern?
Oh, God... Why Wash? NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Unstuck in time, it seems. Poo-tee-weet.
So it goes...
A challenger approaches.
[IMGS OFF]
Didn't Batman's dad come back and kill him recently? (I do not know these things.)
No, that was a guy impersonating Batman's dad. And he didn't kill Batman; Darkseid did.
My parents are DAAAAAAAAAD?
MY DAD IS DEEAAAAAAD.
My mummy's dead
Harry?
Yer a wizard, Harry. Jus' like yer mum an' yer dad.
Ken Dodd's dads's dog's dead (for the fellow British contingent).
My Brother Sam Is Dead.
I love my dead gay son!
I love him too... anally .
Usually, sure.
And then there's Mar-Vell.
I don't know if Onstads actually pulling the trigger here, but I think he's capable of it. Totally capable of it.
Roast Beef has already died like eleventy-billion times.
Those weren't Last of Thantos deaths. This's a totally different thing.
Thantos...the Deathmaker.
oh, it's completely a thing.
The "actually dead forever" theory is my second favourite so far. Favourite: Lie Bot.
A comment left by deus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by philophobe, fuzzyshoo, Appers)
EOF?
Empire of Fuck?
End of fun :(
EOF is "foe" backwards. When you are your own nemesis, as Roast Beef is, and you look in a mirror, you see your EOF.
Computer programming shorthand for "End of File". Pretty apt title for Beef's own end...
^D
Oh. ...NO!
Eternal Outdoor Fight
He's going to get up there and past champions are gonna shake his hand.
All waiting in line in the Samsara queue between Fauntleroy Brown and Blister
Roast Beef reminds me of someone...
He reminds me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
Giving me the courage and the strength I need.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do.
I do what?
Remind me of the babe.
Diddy diddy dum diddy do.
Doing that stuff that you do. (Knocking me out with your voodoo.)
DANCE MAGIC DANCE
slap that baby, make 'im free!!
Possibly more like the babe than the main character, bit more higher functioning.
The bit more higher functioning of voodoo?
OK. To be clear. Just in case we aren't. I thought stereo was referencing the story I linked to above. There is a "babe" in that story. There is also a main character. The End.
I think Onstad (perhaps RB) and DFW would have been best of friends. I can see them sitting up late discussing something together... and yet it's too late for that, since one of them has traded in their epigram for another tri-initialed label: R.I.P.
It was shitty. The first time I understood the whole sadness for a celebrity death thing. Mainly because his death actually removed something important from the world.
DFW
1962-YDPAH
Same here. I'd never been irrationally angry at a dead person before, but after the first punch-to-the-gut burst of surprise, it was pretty much 'What the FUCK, you asshole ."
Sadly for DFW, this is probably the exact same emotion I will experience if the cartoon cat does not come back from the dead.
Goddamn. Last night I dreamed I was critiquing DFW to his face, telling him his work had really fallen off this year.
Then some guy told me, "Man, you can't harsh on a dead man."
Then I was sad. Then the cops came.
where does this come from?
Epic Onstad Fuckery
V-v-valhalla?
Ernest Orson Flaherty?
Sound effect of a Frenchman dying from not caring so much that he falls on his collection of floppy hats.
die();
%u203D