mc_white
+0 -0
Cornelius has never and will never approve of pencil huffing.
Cornelius has never and will never approve of pencil huffing.
spinynorman
+7 -0
It smacks of the aroma of promises to come, an embarrassing indulgence which shall not be tolerated as it impinges upon Our family standards and values. Pray our many Prefects in their short pants and boaters shall stamp out this undignified and unfortunate disobedience that threatens to leap from innocent mind to innocent mind like a common layman's STD, such as anal mites or carpenter's throat finge.
It smacks of the aroma of promises to come, an embarrassing indulgence which shall not be tolerated as it impinges upon Our family standards and values. Pray our many Prefects in their short pants and boaters shall stamp out this undignified and unfortunate disobedience that threatens to leap from innocent mind to innocent mind like a common layman's STD, such as anal mites or carpenter's throat finge.
the_voice
+0 -0
I don't know. Cornelius has a mischievous streak and an appreciation for wholesome, good-natured rule breaking. I would bet he spent some hours as a child with a well-sharpened Staedtler.
I don't know. Cornelius has a mischievous streak and an appreciation for wholesome, good-natured rule breaking. I would bet he spent some hours as a child with a well-sharpened Staedtler.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Then again, perhaps he fies upon it.
Then again, perhaps he fies upon it.
quaga
+2 -0
One could fie upon in the present that which was cherished in the past, thanks to the enlightenment of time.
One could fie upon in the present that which was cherished in the past, thanks to the enlightenment of time.
daidai
+0 -0
I was expelled from Nicklepenny Fields Boarding School For Boys and Toddlers because I was caught stealing the smells of the pencils.
What a fucking rush. Totally worth it.
I was expelled from Nicklepenny Fields Boarding School For Boys and Toddlers because I was caught stealing the smells of the pencils.
What a fucking rush. Totally worth it.
tsrts13
+0 -0
A comment left by tsrts13 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, blastradius, GregChant, opprobrium, Doc_Rostov, aperson)
A comment left by tsrts13 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, blastradius, GregChant, opprobrium, Doc_Rostov, aperson)
tsrts13
+0 -0
A comment left by tsrts13 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, jeofredo, the_voice, Thorfinn, blastradius, SchnappM, GregChant, Doc_Rostov, nathanielperson, Tipist, aperson)
A comment left by tsrts13 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, jeofredo, the_voice, Thorfinn, blastradius, SchnappM, GregChant, Doc_Rostov, nathanielperson, Tipist, aperson)
falseprophet
+1 -0
Self-deprecating humor goes unappreciated all too often.
REAL Chubby!
Self-deprecating humor goes unappreciated all too often.
REAL Chubby!
farqussus
+1 -0
What an odd little man
What an odd little man
luckypyjamas
+1 -2
cornelius considers the fact that it smells bad as "initial flash", a selling point apparently
cornelius considers the fact that it smells bad as "initial flash", a selling point apparently
professorhazard
+0 -1
I feel for old Corny. I get the same way when I open a new Nintendo game.
I feel for old Corny. I get the same way when I open a new Nintendo game.
stop
+0 -0
A comment left by stop was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, epitaph, opalleye)
A comment left by stop was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, epitaph, opalleye)
speccer
+4 -0
The ability to post on the internet is hardly a standard of intellectual acuity.
The ability to post on the internet is hardly a standard of intellectual acuity.
stop
+2 -0
True, not now. But back then? It was amazing. At least, I thought it was.
True, not now. But back then? It was amazing. At least, I thought it was.
tekende
+1 -0
Wow, man, that was dangerously close to being a Phantom Menace reference.
Wow, man, that was dangerously close to being a Phantom Menace reference.
professorhazard
+16 -1
Ignoring the fact that Nintendo still produces video games, arguably of a higher quality than its peers, it is not outside the bounds of possibility that I enjoy opening games from the classic era of Nintendo gaming, which I acquire through subtle and enjoyable means.
Fuck along, now.
Ignoring the fact that Nintendo still produces video games, arguably of a higher quality than its peers, it is not outside the bounds of possibility that I enjoy opening games from the classic era of Nintendo gaming, which I acquire through subtle and enjoyable means.
Fuck along, now.
stop
+0 -0
A comment left by stop was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, joeynarcotic, ArthurDentLives, iidebaser, wingspan)
A comment left by stop was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, joeynarcotic, ArthurDentLives, iidebaser, wingspan)
aperson
+3 -0
There's a black market in shrinkwrapped vintage Nintendo games harvested from the spleens of Japanese drug addicts. Not a lot of people know that.
There's a black market in shrinkwrapped vintage Nintendo games harvested from the spleens of Japanese drug addicts. Not a lot of people know that.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
On a nintendo related note, Onstad doesnt know what one looks like, as he proves in one of achewood's best strips.
On a nintendo related note, Onstad doesnt know what one looks like, as he proves in one of achewood's best strips.
spiral
+0 -0
So are you going to tell me or do you imagine I have the capabilities to actauly look it up?
So are you going to tell me or do you imagine I have the capabilities to actauly look it up?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
We shall see, only if you can answer the following riddle:
"What is Dark blue in the morning, walks with a cane at midday attends PTA meetings in the afternoon and has three sides but is not a triangle?"
We shall see, only if you can answer the following riddle:
"What is Dark blue in the morning, walks with a cane at midday attends PTA meetings in the afternoon and has three sides but is not a triangle?"
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
My grandmother?
My grandmother?
daidai
+4 -0
thegoodwillgirl's grandmother?
thegoodwillgirl's grandmother?
achilleselbow
+0 -2
"... arguably of a higher quality " ...oh, professor, that is truly the limit.
"... arguably of a higher quality " ...oh, professor, that is truly the limit.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
It is a pretty easy thing to argue
It is a pretty easy thing to argue
professorhazard
+0 -1
Especially when one side's information is gleaned from a satirical source.
But the true Nintendrone doesn't care about sales, or popularity. We just care about quality.
Especially when one side's information is gleaned from a satirical source.
But the true Nintendrone doesn't care about sales, or popularity. We just care about quality.
tipist
+3 -1
Due to the logo on the box, I am inclined to imagine that the contents could only be an oversized piece for a game of checkers, even though I know this is untrue.
Due to the logo on the box, I am inclined to imagine that the contents could only be an oversized piece for a game of checkers, even though I know this is untrue.
speccer
+8 -2
They should hide the box from Philippe, lest he believe it to be his shipment of king piss. The world of disappointment he would be in for.
They should hide the box from Philippe, lest he believe it to be his shipment of king piss. The world of disappointment he would be in for.
steerpike66
+8 -1
Philippe has forgotten that strip completely. He is five.
Philippe has forgotten that strip completely. He is five.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
His King Piss comes in a square box? Is it like a goon bag? Phillipe all down at the river with his friends, the silver bag out of the carton, head back and mouth on the nosle.
Poor little flipper desperately trying to hold down the little plastic switch.
His King Piss comes in a square box? Is it like a goon bag? Phillipe all down at the river with his friends, the silver bag out of the carton, head back and mouth on the nosle.
Poor little flipper desperately trying to hold down the little plastic switch.
linning
+1 -0
When I was in Austria, I found a supermarket that sold Tetrapaks of wine for 80 eurocents. My travelling homeboys and I purchased 2 each and proceeded to drink them with straws whilst watching German-dubbed Ali G Indahouse.
[IMGS OFF]
Basically it is the most depressed I am ever beink.
When I was in Austria, I found a supermarket that sold Tetrapaks of wine for 80 eurocents. My travelling homeboys and I purchased 2 each and proceeded to drink them with straws whilst watching German-dubbed Ali G Indahouse.
[IMGS OFF]
Basically it is the most depressed I am ever beink.
chuvak
+2 -0
I've been lower. Try home-distilled grape moonshine in a cold water flat in Ukraine. You try to mix it with pear juice, but nothing, NOTHING, can get the taste of the bathtub out of your mouth. Then someone turns out 1980's Soviet art house cinema.
I've been lower. Try home-distilled grape moonshine in a cold water flat in Ukraine. You try to mix it with pear juice, but nothing, NOTHING, can get the taste of the bathtub out of your mouth. Then someone turns out 1980's Soviet art house cinema.
bovine
+0 -0
not bad. how about plastic bottle vodka in a poorly executed tent miles from the highway, alone cold and scared, the dollar store lantern giving out as you squint at a library copy of a 1960's sci fi anthology.
not bad. how about plastic bottle vodka in a poorly executed tent miles from the highway, alone cold and scared, the dollar store lantern giving out as you squint at a library copy of a 1960's sci fi anthology.
nonorganon
+0 -0
Plastic bottle vodka is only rough the morning after. Sometimes the day after.
Plastic bottle vodka is only rough the morning after. Sometimes the day after.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I had some pretty rotten stuff back when I was twenty. It was one of the discoveries my buddy made as our unofficial scrounger %u2013 it was some horrible malt liquor made for %u201COktoberfest,%u201D but it had been made in Matamoros, Mexico. The label proudly proclaimed that it was called %u201CGermann Goodtimes%u201D and it had a picture of a donkey eating a lightbulb, and while I found this acceptable the labels seemed to come off pretty easily. I don%u2019t know why the idea of Mexico making an Ocktoberfest malt liquor was okay, especially when you think of how the thing had come out in summer, but my pal had managed to get them for %u201Calmost free,%u201D and after I had my first bottle I didn%u2019t go blind and the next bottle went down almost easier.
Later, when the girl I was partying with managed to get vomit everywhere BUT the toilet and I drunkenly neglected to clean it up, I decided that Rules Must Be Made in terms of drinking.
This did not last long.
I had some pretty rotten stuff back when I was twenty. It was one of the discoveries my buddy made as our unofficial scrounger %u2013 it was some horrible malt liquor made for %u201COktoberfest,%u201D but it had been made in Matamoros, Mexico. The label proudly proclaimed that it was called %u201CGermann Goodtimes%u201D and it had a picture of a donkey eating a lightbulb, and while I found this acceptable the labels seemed to come off pretty easily. I don%u2019t know why the idea of Mexico making an Ocktoberfest malt liquor was okay, especially when you think of how the thing had come out in summer, but my pal had managed to get them for %u201Calmost free,%u201D and after I had my first bottle I didn%u2019t go blind and the next bottle went down almost easier.
Later, when the girl I was partying with managed to get vomit everywhere BUT the toilet and I drunkenly neglected to clean it up, I decided that Rules Must Be Made in terms of drinking.
This did not last long.
spinynorman
+5 -0
Okay, apparently Notepad and asset bar aren't pals, let me try that again here.
------------------
I had some pretty rotten stuff back when I was twenty. It was one of the discoveries my buddy made as our unofficial scrounger - it was some horrible malt liquor made for "Oktoberfest," but it had been made in Matamoros, Mexico. The label proudly proclaimed that it was called "Germann Goodtimes" and it had a picture of a donkey eating a lightbulb, and while I found this acceptable the labels seemed to come off pretty easily. I don't know why the idea of Mexico making an Ocktoberfest malt liquor was okay, especially when you think of how the thing had come out in summer, but my pal had managed to get them for "almost free," and after I had my first bottle I didn't go blind and the next bottle went down almost easier.
Later, when the girl I was partying with managed to get vomit everywhere BUT the toilet and I drunkenly neglected to clean it up, I decided that Rules Must Be Made in terms of drinking.
This did not last long.
Okay, apparently Notepad and asset bar aren't pals, let me try that again here.
------------------
I had some pretty rotten stuff back when I was twenty. It was one of the discoveries my buddy made as our unofficial scrounger - it was some horrible malt liquor made for "Oktoberfest," but it had been made in Matamoros, Mexico. The label proudly proclaimed that it was called "Germann Goodtimes" and it had a picture of a donkey eating a lightbulb, and while I found this acceptable the labels seemed to come off pretty easily. I don't know why the idea of Mexico making an Ocktoberfest malt liquor was okay, especially when you think of how the thing had come out in summer, but my pal had managed to get them for "almost free," and after I had my first bottle I didn't go blind and the next bottle went down almost easier.
Later, when the girl I was partying with managed to get vomit everywhere BUT the toilet and I drunkenly neglected to clean it up, I decided that Rules Must Be Made in terms of drinking.
This did not last long.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
I would probably have been too freaked out by the picture of a donkey eating a lightbulb. Chubby for the courage.
I would probably have been too freaked out by the picture of a donkey eating a lightbulb. Chubby for the courage.
kendieatsbabies
+1 -0
Chubby for accurately depicting the desperate joy that is space-baggin' it with your buddies.
Chubby for accurately depicting the desperate joy that is space-baggin' it with your buddies.
hamscout
+0 -0
Ooooh! My collectors edition oblong bottle of Crown Royal has arrived !!!
Ooooh! My collectors edition oblong bottle of Crown Royal has arrived !!!
achilleselbow
+14 -1
So Sean Connery's been out of work for a while and he gets a call from his agent. And the agent says, "Sean, I just got you an audition. You have to be there tomorrow. Ten-ish." And Sean Connery says "Tennish? But I haven't played shince I was a wee lad!"
So Sean Connery's been out of work for a while and he gets a call from his agent. And the agent says, "Sean, I just got you an audition. You have to be there tomorrow. Ten-ish." And Sean Connery says "Tennish? But I haven't played shince I was a wee lad!"
tipist
+21 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -2
I'll take anal album cover for 300, Alex.
I'll take anal album cover for 300, Alex.
tekende
+1 -2
SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT!
That should say "anal bum cover." Godammit! CRAP.
SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT!
That should say "anal bum cover." Godammit! CRAP.
whiteturtle
+16 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
whiteturtle
+0 -0
It should be noted that this is safe for work because it turns out when you open the album up, the gigantic tongue is licking a peach, instead of what appears to be someone's anal bum.
It should be noted that this is safe for work because it turns out when you open the album up, the gigantic tongue is licking a peach, instead of what appears to be someone's anal bum.
jonazoulay
+0 -0
No saliva turns to a steaming dark hue from licking a peach. That is awful.
No saliva turns to a steaming dark hue from licking a peach. That is awful.
nickgranger
+0 -0
kudos for even knowing about those guys
kudos for even knowing about those guys
whiteturtle
+16 -0
Prog is long overdue for a comeback. We need more coke-fueled concept albums about prehistoric armadillo war machines.
[IMGS OFF]
Prog is long overdue for a comeback. We need more coke-fueled concept albums about prehistoric armadillo war machines.
[IMGS OFF]
professorhazard
+16 -1
This is what would happen if EPCOT Center's Spaceship Earth was a Megazord.
This is what would happen if EPCOT Center's Spaceship Earth was a Megazord.
cromar
+0 -0
I heartily agree with you. Especially we need more prehistoric armadillo war machines.
I heartily agree with you. Especially we need more prehistoric armadillo war machines.
mortshire
+0 -0
A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
[imghttps://static.flickr.com/7/8923662_67b36f8c8e.jpg[/img]
A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
[imghttps://static.flickr.com/7/8923662_67b36f8c8e.jpg[/img]
mortshire
+7 -0
Ahem...A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
[IMGS OFF]
Ahem...A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
[IMGS OFF]
spinynorman
+1 -0
Well, hot damn.
Well, hot damn.
tsume454
+7 -0
A Challenger Vanishes!
[IMGS OFF]
A Challenger Vanishes!
[IMGS OFF]
scraggg
+0 -0
I'll miss you, Fisher family.
I'll miss you, Fisher family.
peterjoel
+1 -0
Egad! Not the White House!
Egad! Not the White House!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i'm assuming you're guessing that's next on Dinsdale's list...
i'm assuming you're guessing that's next on Dinsdale's list...
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Aw, that's not the White House.
<3 anyhow.
Aw, that's not the White House.
<3 anyhow.
chuvak
+0 -0
...DINSDAAAALE....
...DINSDAAAALE....
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
CHINA!!
CHINA!!
kayakcabble
+0 -0
is that Spikey Norman, the scurge of Dinsdale Piranha
is that Spikey Norman, the scurge of Dinsdale Piranha
spinynorman
+0 -0
Um... close?
Um... close?
jbushnell
+0 -0
Prog is long overdue for a comeback
This is the assumption that undergirds the very existence of the Battles album Mirrored
Prog is long overdue for a comeback
This is the assumption that undergirds the very existence of the Battles album Mirrored
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I fucking love Mirrored. This is a completely enthusiastic exhortation of everyone within eyeshot: If you enjoy music, I mean really enjoy it, you will probably love Mirrored by Battles. An art-rock/prog affinity helps, too.
I fucking love Mirrored. This is a completely enthusiastic exhortation of everyone within eyeshot: If you enjoy music, I mean really enjoy it, you will probably love Mirrored by Battles. An art-rock/prog affinity helps, too.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
SEE THEM LIVE
I cannot emphasize this enough.
SEE THEM LIVE
I cannot emphasize this enough.
jbushnell
+0 -0
I should acknowledge that I saw Yes live in concert. Actually this was during the era when they were legally bound to calling themselves "Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe"
I should acknowledge that I saw Yes live in concert. Actually this was during the era when they were legally bound to calling themselves "Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe"
rowboat
+0 -0
"Anderson, Walkman, Buttholes, and How!"
-Gibson Jerome Haynes
"Anderson, Walkman, Buttholes, and How!"
-Gibson Jerome Haynes
boscostacy
+0 -0
I own this album...the inside contains the original art that some dude traced over to make the first D&D Monster Manual.
I own this album...the inside contains the original art that some dude traced over to make the first D&D Monster Manual.
mattfish
+0 -0
I saw the preceding comment at school, and sadly could not look for an anal related album cover in a public lab. Kudos for having the same idea and executing it
I saw the preceding comment at school, and sadly could not look for an anal related album cover in a public lab. Kudos for having the same idea and executing it
maximus
+1 -0
I think that the probably of finding a Gentle Giant aficionado in a computer lab at any give time is pretty close to 1.
I think that the probably of finding a Gentle Giant aficionado in a computer lab at any give time is pretty close to 1.
maximus
+0 -0
...but at least they can spell probability
...but at least they can spell probability
mattfish
+0 -0
point being that google image search and "anal" and in-public do not mix gracefully
point being that google image search and "anal" and in-public do not mix gracefully
tipist
+1 -0
I'll take The Rapists for $200.
I'll take The Rapists for $200.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
I was gonna' say that!
I was gonna' say that!
biomusicologist
+0 -2
Jap Anus Relations for $200
farqussus
+1 -0
it's [scottish brogue] don't you know bbcode yet?
it's [scottish brogue] don't you know bbcode yet?
thorfinn
+0 -0
I spent years trying to develop an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my biggest regret
I spent years trying to develop an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my biggest regret
autrepoupee
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
which was the replacement cover for the 2 CONTROVERSIAL 2 HOT original version:
[IMGS OFF]
so we can deduce from these that noted poet Rod McKuen loves butts
[IMGS OFF]
which was the replacement cover for the 2 CONTROVERSIAL 2 HOT original version:
[IMGS OFF]
so we can deduce from these that noted poet Rod McKuen loves butts
autrepoupee
+1 -0
how embarrassing, the second picture is meant to be this one:
[IMGS OFF]
how embarrassing, the second picture is meant to be this one:
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -0
I'm really sorry I even tried to post that quote now. These horrors I have unleashed are just...just awful.
I'm really sorry I even tried to post that quote now. These horrors I have unleashed are just...just awful.
mortshire
+0 -0
Line the pan with crisco when I dance this disco.
Line the pan with crisco when I dance this disco.
kickstart
+0 -0
whoa, mortshire, I didn't know you were down with the gems!
whoa, mortshire, I didn't know you were down with the gems!
thegoodwillgirl
+6 -0
I want you to know how long I went back and forth between the identical pictures, trying to figure out what subtle, controversial difference there was that I just could not find.
I felt like a retarded child who couldn't figure out the "Find the Differences" activity in her most recent Hilights magazine.
If only I had scrolled just a wee bit lower, I would've saved myself from all of that mental anguish.
I want you to know how long I went back and forth between the identical pictures, trying to figure out what subtle, controversial difference there was that I just could not find.
I felt like a retarded child who couldn't figure out the "Find the Differences" activity in her most recent Hilights magazine.
If only I had scrolled just a wee bit lower, I would've saved myself from all of that mental anguish.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
yes! i did the exact same thing. mostly just checking to see if the second one showed a little bit more camel toe.
yes! i did the exact same thing. mostly just checking to see if the second one showed a little bit more camel toe.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
...rear camel toe?
teehee.
...rear camel toe?
teehee.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I did the same thing. It's like one of those "How do you keep an idiot occupied for hours (turn over)" things.
I did the same thing. It's like one of those "How do you keep an idiot occupied for hours (turn over)" things.
spinynorman
+6 -0
I looked at that for so fuckin long trying to spot the difference
Oh well, what am I going to say, "Goddamn it, this guy on the internet made me look at asses for a solid minute! Fuck him!"
I looked at that for so fuckin long trying to spot the difference
Oh well, what am I going to say, "Goddamn it, this guy on the internet made me look at asses for a solid minute! Fuck him!"
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one. I thought it was the text. 'Cept it was more like a minute or two. I'm not that bad, jesus...
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one. I thought it was the text. 'Cept it was more like a minute or two. I'm not that bad, jesus...
axhoola
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
achilleselbow
+4 -0
How many megs of RAM do you have in your computer...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
Hey, why don't you check out my website at www...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
I love looking at the Star Trek website and I, eh...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
Let me fax you my email address...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
How many megs of RAM do you have in your computer...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
Hey, why don't you check out my website at www...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
I love looking at the Star Trek website and I, eh...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
Let me fax you my email address...
TECHNOLOGY'S GAY
unsentletter
+0 -0
Somehow I figured you'd like A.C., achilleselbow. I have no idea why. Mebbe the icon. Hell if I know. A.C. = <3
Additionally:
" HOWARD WULKAN'S BALD! B! A! L! D! BALD! "
Somehow I figured you'd like A.C., achilleselbow. I have no idea why. Mebbe the icon. Hell if I know. A.C. = <3
Additionally:
" HOWARD WULKAN'S BALD! B! A! L! D! BALD! "
excusemesenator
+2 -0
Teodor's face is merging with his clothing again and this bothers the hell out of me.
Teodor's face is merging with his clothing again and this bothers the hell out of me.
tipist
+0 -0
Maybe it's not, and he is just hell of chubby and suffering from a bad case of "turtleneck-neck".
Maybe it's not, and he is just hell of chubby and suffering from a bad case of "turtleneck-neck".
maximus
+2 -0
I had mine removed shortly after birth.
I had mine removed shortly after birth.
straw
+1 -0
Is that a circumcision joke?
Is that a circumcision joke?
norrin
+0 -0
I beleive it is.
I beleive it is.
professorhazard
+0 -0
It's not that Onstad doesn't know how to draw sweater cuffs; observe Teodor's sleeves, as well as the bottom of the sweater. I believe that actually is the bunching-up of T-Bear's neck.
It's not that Onstad doesn't know how to draw sweater cuffs; observe Teodor's sleeves, as well as the bottom of the sweater. I believe that actually is the bunching-up of T-Bear's neck.
lizard
+0 -0
Yep. Teodor's mention of Sean Connery's neck is a subtle misdirection from his own. He's destined for obesity, remember (before a brief but successful fitness craze leading to death).
Yep. Teodor's mention of Sean Connery's neck is a subtle misdirection from his own. He's destined for obesity, remember (before a brief but successful fitness craze leading to death).
phy
+0 -0
Boarding school is the true smell of Britain.
Boarding school is the true smell of Britain.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Smells like shame.
Smells like shame.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Inky buttocks and rape.
Inky buttocks and rape.
maximus
+1 -0
"Stop crying and get up - here, I bought you some Maynards Wine Gums."
"Stop crying and get up - here, I bought you some Maynards Wine Gums."
steerpike66
+0 -0
I ate all of them except the green and white ones. hah!
I ate all of them except the green and white ones. hah!
lucidz
+1 -0
In truth, it is, in point of fact, only an over-large Crown Royal Bag. You can keep anything in those! It is, to quote the great Dennis Quaid, the 'gift that keeps on givin, the whole year round'
In truth, it is, in point of fact, only an over-large Crown Royal Bag. You can keep anything in those! It is, to quote the great Dennis Quaid, the 'gift that keeps on givin, the whole year round'
maximus
+0 -0
Also, turpeny notes and a superior mouthfeel.
Also, turpeny notes and a superior mouthfeel.
whiteturtle
+1 -1
Corny knows that an off-brand 7&7 smells distinctly different from one with the proper ingredients.
DO NOT SERVE THE BEAR SPRITE WHEN HE ASKS FOR THE UN-COLA.
Corny knows that an off-brand 7&7 smells distinctly different from one with the proper ingredients.
DO NOT SERVE THE BEAR SPRITE WHEN HE ASKS FOR THE UN-COLA.
maximus
+1 -0
Confused but excited lads being firmly but lovingly ushered into the secret society of Men's Computing with all of its dark, secret joys and finely-wrought peripherals
Confused but excited lads being firmly but lovingly ushered into the secret society of Men's Computing with all of its dark, secret joys and finely-wrought peripherals
sevendaughters
+1 -0
Onstad's Anglophilia is never ever going to get old.
Onstad's Anglophilia is never ever going to get old.
whiteturtle
+6 -0
His Anglophagia, however, is the subject of much concern.
His Anglophagia, however, is the subject of much concern.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Onstad eats England?
Englishmen?
I am as confused as a bastard on Father's Day.
Onstad eats England?
Englishmen?
I am as confused as a bastard on Father's Day.
whiteturtle
+3 -0
I made the word up as an absurd pun on "anglophilia". See, because is it not humorous to imagine something that desires to eat British things? What the nature of such a creature might be? What fun!
I made the word up as an absurd pun on "anglophilia". See, because is it not humorous to imagine something that desires to eat British things? What the nature of such a creature might be? What fun!
straw
+1 -0
Unfortunately it is not fun to imagine someone with Japanophagia as this is encountered very commonly.
Unfortunately it is not fun to imagine someone with Japanophagia as this is encountered very commonly.
bixschmix
+0 -0
My friend is teaching in Japan. I always tell him, don't offer to bring anyone to your apartment to teach them English or you might end up naked and dead in a bathtub full of sand.
Oh, Japan.
My friend is teaching in Japan. I always tell him, don't offer to bring anyone to your apartment to teach them English or you might end up naked and dead in a bathtub full of sand.
Oh, Japan.
snidedk
+2 -0
It's impossible to imagine something that wants to eat British things - I don't even think British people enjoy eating British things.
It's impossible to imagine something that wants to eat British things - I don't even think British people enjoy eating British things.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I enjoyed the delightful explanation of your own joke. Normally that does not go so well. Your happiness is infectious! What joy!
I enjoyed the delightful explanation of your own joke. Normally that does not go so well. Your happiness is infectious! What joy!
aikennubbles
+0 -0
I have a test for y'all. My computer smells like microwave taquitos and one of Kid Rock's wife beaters after it's been sitting awhile in the sun. Where am I from?
I have a test for y'all. My computer smells like microwave taquitos and one of Kid Rock's wife beaters after it's been sitting awhile in the sun. Where am I from?
scraggg
+0 -0
All things Kid Rock take on very strange properties when exposed to the light of day.
All things Kid Rock take on very strange properties when exposed to the light of day.
tipist
+24 -0
Circumstances.
Circumstances.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Oh my Godddddd, chubbed
Oh my Godddddd, chubbed
whiteturtle
+1 -0
History?
History?
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Central Florida? No, wait...I'm...I'm getting a strong finish of Fig Newton filling smeared on a Pro-wrestling magazine...
Florida panhandle, Tallahassee area?
Central Florida? No, wait...I'm...I'm getting a strong finish of Fig Newton filling smeared on a Pro-wrestling magazine...
Florida panhandle, Tallahassee area?
professorhazard
+0 -0
Upstate New York.
Upstate New York.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
Well I'm from Utica and I've never smelled a computer like that.
Well I'm from Utica and I've never smelled a computer like that.
professorhazard
+0 -0
The conundrum of this puzzler is that the smell he describes can belong to any basement-dweller, anywhere.
The conundrum of this puzzler is that the smell he describes can belong to any basement-dweller, anywhere.
sncether
+1 -0
Quote:
Oh, not in Utica, no. It's strictly an Albany smell.
Quote:
Well I'm from Utica and I've never smelled a computer like that.
Oh, not in Utica, no. It's strictly an Albany smell.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
professorhazard
+0 -0
You two steam a great ham.
You two steam a great ham.
whiteturtle
+2 -0
Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
straw
+0 -0
... Yes.
... Yes.
dr_strangeglove
+0 -0
may I see it?
may I see it?
straw
+0 -0
No.
No.
opalleye
+0 -0
No.
No.
loneal
+1 -0
Dr. Strangeglove, your request to see the kitchen aurora borealis has been denied by both a llama and a panda. How does that make you feel?
Dr. Strangeglove, your request to see the kitchen aurora borealis has been denied by both a llama and a panda. How does that make you feel?
catgrl131
+1 -0
Now it's been denied by an otter.
No.
Now it's been denied by an otter.
No.
straw
+0 -0
And I laugh.
And I laugh.
dr_strangeglove
+0 -0
why I'm mad.
mad as figs.
why I'm mad.
mad as figs.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
i call it hot ham water! watery, but with a smack of ham to it!
i call it hot ham water! watery, but with a smack of ham to it!
foea
+0 -0
Or Rochester. Rochester smells like old scottish neck.
Or Rochester. Rochester smells like old scottish neck.
straw
+0 -0
All of these are a contributing factor -- But Not the Only Factor!! -- for Ithaca smelling like old cabinet drawers.
All of these are a contributing factor -- But Not the Only Factor!! -- for Ithaca smelling like old cabinet drawers.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
Hey, I'll be in Utica in three days. We should hang out.
Hey, I'll be in Utica in three days. We should hang out.
arborwin
+0 -0
I never thought I'd see Utica mentioned here, of all places.
I never thought I'd see Utica mentioned here, of all places.
theargentinian
+0 -0
Midtown Detroit.
Midtown Detroit.
aikennubbles
+2 -0
Good guesses all, but mostly wrong (half-credit for "circumstances"). The taquitos should have given you Southwestern U.S., and the artificiality of the microwave implies California. Kid Rock suggests Riverside, Barstow, or the San Joaquin Valley, and wife beaters, although abundant in Riverside, are more typical of the agrarian Valley and Barstow. The hint of baked body odor applies to both Bakersfield and Barstow, but (this is the tricky part) since I have a computer at all it's gotta be Bakersfield.
Now, if you figure out my final hint, you can come visit me: My keyboard has the faintest whisper of burning tire and lemons.
Good guesses all, but mostly wrong (half-credit for "circumstances"). The taquitos should have given you Southwestern U.S., and the artificiality of the microwave implies California. Kid Rock suggests Riverside, Barstow, or the San Joaquin Valley, and wife beaters, although abundant in Riverside, are more typical of the agrarian Valley and Barstow. The hint of baked body odor applies to both Bakersfield and Barstow, but (this is the tricky part) since I have a computer at all it's gotta be Bakersfield.
Now, if you figure out my final hint, you can come visit me: My keyboard has the faintest whisper of burning tire and lemons.
spinynorman
+1 -0
The real question isn't where you live but what the fuck you've been doing with that keyboard
The real question isn't where you live but what the fuck you've been doing with that keyboard
daidai
+0 -0
I think the real question is whether it smells of burnt tires and burnt lemons -- or merely burnt tires and regular ol' lemons.
I think the real question is whether it smells of burnt tires and burnt lemons -- or merely burnt tires and regular ol' lemons.
professorhazard
+6 -0
Wait a minute... this is all just a complex attempt to have people come visit you, so you can show them your He-Man fan fic where He-Man asks you how to become the master of Magic: The Gathering !
Wait a minute... this is all just a complex attempt to have people come visit you, so you can show them your He-Man fan fic where He-Man asks you how to become the master of Magic: The Gathering !
thorfinn
+0 -0
I was going to suggest Riverside, but didn't for fear of mockery.
I was going to suggest Riverside, but didn't for fear of mockery.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Of course, the Riverside computer would have strong methamphetamine overtones to accompany the other scents.
Of course, the Riverside computer would have strong methamphetamine overtones to accompany the other scents.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
Combined with your avatar, this invitation to 'visit' you takes on a rather sinister air.
Combined with your avatar, this invitation to 'visit' you takes on a rather sinister air.
tekende
+0 -0
He would pay you at least a thousand dollars for this service.
He would pay you at least a thousand dollars for this service.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Are you like that lady who sat on a toilet for two years so that her buttocks actually grew around the seat, and now you're trying to manipulate someone into entering your abandoned home to free you from your porcelain ball and chain?
Because if so, I'll pass.
Are you like that lady who sat on a toilet for two years so that her buttocks actually grew around the seat, and now you're trying to manipulate someone into entering your abandoned home to free you from your porcelain ball and chain?
Because if so, I'll pass.
soupkaty
+0 -0
oh god we were all titters and giggles in the newsroom when we found that on the wire.
oh ho, associated press.
oh god we were all titters and giggles in the newsroom when we found that on the wire.
oh ho, associated press.
opalleye
+0 -0
I believe it was a couch.
Her name was Gail Grinds.
I believe it was a couch.
Her name was Gail Grinds.
bixschmix
+0 -0
There is both a couch lady and a toilet lady. Both allowed their skin to fuse and grow around their particular home furnishing. I am ashamed at myself for knowing this and ashamed at America for producing these specimens.
There is both a couch lady and a toilet lady. Both allowed their skin to fuse and grow around their particular home furnishing. I am ashamed at myself for knowing this and ashamed at America for producing these specimens.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Thank you so much for this toilet story. I immediately Googled it, and I continued on to email my findings to my entire family.
Thank you so much for this toilet story. I immediately Googled it, and I continued on to email my findings to my entire family.
maximus
+0 -0
Behind the 7-11 on Wilson?
Behind the 7-11 on Wilson?
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Yech. I weaseled out of having to go to Bakersfield recently. Despite getting paid for it, I still dreaded the thought. I was setting aside old shirts and suit coats that I wouldn't mind having to throw away for fear of having them smell like burning petroleum and cow shit.
Yech. I weaseled out of having to go to Bakersfield recently. Despite getting paid for it, I still dreaded the thought. I was setting aside old shirts and suit coats that I wouldn't mind having to throw away for fear of having them smell like burning petroleum and cow shit.
tekende
+1 -0
When that city just has gas I change my shirt and run the garbage disposal.
When that city just has gas I change my shirt and run the garbage disposal.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I realized last week that I now feel better about being born in Bakersfield solely because that's where the GOF was held. I don't know if that's good or incredibly sad.
I realized last week that I now feel better about being born in Bakersfield solely because that's where the GOF was held. I don't know if that's good or incredibly sad.
irondave
+0 -0
I have never been to Bakersfield, but I like Buck Owens and especially his famous song about Bakersfield.
I have never been to Bakersfield, but I like Buck Owens and especially his famous song about Bakersfield.
loneal
+0 -0
I stopped to fill up my gas tank in Bakersfield once.
BIG. MISTAKE.
I stopped to fill up my gas tank in Bakersfield once.
BIG. MISTAKE.
tipist
+0 -1
Does "half-credit" mean you somehow gave me a half-chubby? Cuz that would put you on par with softcore porn viewed on "Skinemax", which also gives me a half-chubby.
Does "half-credit" mean you somehow gave me a half-chubby? Cuz that would put you on par with softcore porn viewed on "Skinemax", which also gives me a half-chubby.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Fresno?
Fresno?
fireking
+0 -0
The computer comes complete with a sample of Sean Connery's cologne.
Authentic!
The computer comes complete with a sample of Sean Connery's cologne.
Authentic!
catgrl131
+1 -0
Must...resist...chubbying...just...because...of...adorable...Hamtaro...avatar...
Must...resist...chubbying...just...because...of...adorable...Hamtaro...avatar...
hatstand_mcq
+0 -2
I was once punished for smelling a pencil during a Latin class. The head boy summoned me to his study and told me that if I was ever again observed placing a freshly sharpened pencil within three inches of either nostril I would have my crumpet ration removed.
I was once punished for smelling a pencil during a Latin class. The head boy summoned me to his study and told me that if I was ever again observed placing a freshly sharpened pencil within three inches of either nostril I would have my crumpet ration removed.
maximus
+4 -0
Mr. Onstad's little trope makes me miss Edward Gorey:
To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple,
As he poured his post-prandial tipple,
'You mother's behaviour
Gave pain to Our Saviour,
And that's why He made you a cripple.'
Mr. Onstad's little trope makes me miss Edward Gorey:
To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple,
As he poured his post-prandial tipple,
'You mother's behaviour
Gave pain to Our Saviour,
And that's why He made you a cripple.'
perilon
+7 -0
Teodor knows the proper way to hold a fifty-pound box is by jamming your palms into the top corners and exerting great compressive force.
Cornelius knows the proper way to accept a fifty-pound box is by gently cupping your right elbow with your left, then politely shaking hands with one of the top corners. It is the decorous handshake of a gentleman meeting a bilious yet excitingly old-school boffin.
Teodor knows the proper way to hold a fifty-pound box is by jamming your palms into the top corners and exerting great compressive force.
Cornelius knows the proper way to accept a fifty-pound box is by gently cupping your right elbow with your left, then politely shaking hands with one of the top corners. It is the decorous handshake of a gentleman meeting a bilious yet excitingly old-school boffin.
paperboy_2000
+6 -0
With Teodor's posture I would be leery that the "package from England" might be similar to a Christmas Eve present from Justin Timberlake.
No, seriously, Cornelius. You need to stop describing the smell and just take the lid off the box. You - You're making this very awkward for both of us.
With Teodor's posture I would be leery that the "package from England" might be similar to a Christmas Eve present from Justin Timberlake.
No, seriously, Cornelius. You need to stop describing the smell and just take the lid off the box. You - You're making this very awkward for both of us.
shades
+1 -0
If I was on a creative track that was leading me to use the phrase "smells like Sean Connery's neck at a wedding," I probably would have needed an extra day to make this strip too
If I was on a creative track that was leading me to use the phrase "smells like Sean Connery's neck at a wedding," I probably would have needed an extra day to make this strip too
higuma
+0 -0
A lot of those words and references were difficult for me to understand.
A lot of those words and references were difficult for me to understand.
whiteturtle
+7 -0
I was going to make a comment on how that is understandable since you are a bear, but then I realized that Cornelius is also a bear, and the confounded logic stopped me in my tracks. It did not stop me from being totally meta about it though.
I was going to make a comment on how that is understandable since you are a bear, but then I realized that Cornelius is also a bear, and the confounded logic stopped me in my tracks. It did not stop me from being totally meta about it though.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
Don't be too hard on the bear, admitting you are a bear that needs help is half the battle.
Don't be too hard on the bear, admitting you are a bear that needs help is half the battle.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
yeah, i'm not ashamed to admit that i busted out the dictionary for this strip.
yeah, i'm not ashamed to admit that i busted out the dictionary for this strip.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Hands up who Youtubed the Ridley Scott Apple advert because they juuust couldn't remember it.
Hands up who Youtubed the Ridley Scott Apple advert because they juuust couldn't remember it.
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
I was more concerned that Cornelius hadn't referred to Scott as 'Sir Ridley'. But then, do you apply a title to the person when talking about works completed before the knighthood title was bestowed? Then I figured Cornelius has more knowledge about proper use of British titles in his extended British pinkie-finger than I have in my doughy American body.
I was more concerned that Cornelius hadn't referred to Scott as 'Sir Ridley'. But then, do you apply a title to the person when talking about works completed before the knighthood title was bestowed? Then I figured Cornelius has more knowledge about proper use of British titles in his extended British pinkie-finger than I have in my doughy American body.
professorhazard
+1 -0
He didn't want us to think he was talking about the horrible space dragon from Metroid .
He didn't want us to think he was talking about the horrible space dragon from Metroid .
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
I hate Ridley so fucking much
I hate Ridley so fucking much
rowboat
+0 -0
Dude, I kicked that dragon's ASS! Then we all got girlfriends.
Dude, I kicked that dragon's ASS! Then we all got girlfriends.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Life peerages. Discredited rubbish. they give the order of the garter to strippograms now.
Life peerages. Discredited rubbish. they give the order of the garter to strippograms now.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Weirdly, I just saw it yesterday and so remembered it very well.
Weirdly, I just saw it yesterday and so remembered it very well.
straw
+0 -0
I'll always remember it because Futurama did a spoof on it.
I'll always remember it because Futurama did a spoof on it.
talix18
+0 -0
No YouTube at work. Very Minor Sad Thing.
No YouTube at work. Very Minor Sad Thing.
johnnygeo
+0 -0
One man's preprandial is another man's antejentacular.
One man's preprandial is another man's antejentacular.
johnnygeo
+0 -0
dang it. I thought that was postprandial. That would have been a good epigram.
dang it. I thought that was postprandial. That would have been a good epigram.
professorhazard
+1 -0
I feel that Cornelius prandializes the descriptions of far too many actions, and is bordering on the loquaciously blowhardy.
I feel that Cornelius prandializes the descriptions of far too many actions, and is bordering on the loquaciously blowhardy.
maximus
+0 -0
I think 'antejentacular' is perhaps the creepiest word in the English language
I think 'antejentacular' is perhaps the creepiest word in the English language
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think something like "fistula" is worse.
I think something like "fistula" is worse.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I've heard numerous reports that women dislike the words "moist" and "panties".
I've heard numerous reports that women dislike the words "moist" and "panties".
tekende
+0 -0
That's the first I've heard of women not liking the word panties. Moist I've heard about, so I make a point of using that word relatively often. I have a number of friends (of both genders) who hate the word moist.
That's the first I've heard of women not liking the word panties. Moist I've heard about, so I make a point of using that word relatively often. I have a number of friends (of both genders) who hate the word moist.
loneal
+0 -0
I have also heard a lot of rancor directed toward "moist," and, to a lesser degree, "panties." I don't know why. I rather like both those words. The word "ointment" makes me feel icky, though, and it has that same "oi" sound as moist...maybe there's something about that sound.
I have also heard a lot of rancor directed toward "moist," and, to a lesser degree, "panties." I don't know why. I rather like both those words. The word "ointment" makes me feel icky, though, and it has that same "oi" sound as moist...maybe there's something about that sound.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm not a big fan of the word panties myself. It just sounds so...juvenile.
I'm not a big fan of the word panties myself. It just sounds so...juvenile.
spinynorman
+3 -0
You know what word's fucking awkward? "Awkward." If there was a sound made by a gangly, uncoordinated, and strange way a 16 year old boy runs, "awkward" would be the onomatopoeia for that sound.
You know what word's fucking awkward? "Awkward." If there was a sound made by a gangly, uncoordinated, and strange way a 16 year old boy runs, "awkward" would be the onomatopoeia for that sound.
tekende
+0 -0
I love the word awkward.
I love the word awkward.
loneal
+1 -0
Which is why it is probably the crowning achievement of the English language's vocabulary.
Which is why it is probably the crowning achievement of the English language's vocabulary.
peterjoel
+0 -0
Whenever I see ads for WKD, I read it as "awkward" and never the intended "wicked". Perhaps this is why I would never purchase and consume it. Actually that isn't the reason.
Whenever I see ads for WKD, I read it as "awkward" and never the intended "wicked". Perhaps this is why I would never purchase and consume it. Actually that isn't the reason.
loneal
+0 -1
It is kind of juvenile, but also kind of cute. I also really like the phrase "smarty-panties" instead of "smarty-pants," for a girl, or, conceivably, a dude who is into lingerie.
It is kind of juvenile, but also kind of cute. I also really like the phrase "smarty-panties" instead of "smarty-pants," for a girl, or, conceivably, a dude who is into lingerie.
pogo
+0 -0
Moist panties are a good thing.
Moist panties are a good thing.
peterjoel
+0 -0
No, that must really chafe... unless.. unless you are lowering the tone...
No, that must really chafe... unless.. unless you are lowering the tone...
straw
+0 -0
I read chafe as if it rhymed with cafe. Clearly I must drink more.
I read chafe as if it rhymed with cafe. Clearly I must drink more.
daidai
+0 -0
Your justifications for drinking are flawed.
Not that there should necessarily be stricter justifications, yours are merely flawed.
Your justifications for drinking are flawed.
Not that there should necessarily be stricter justifications, yours are merely flawed.
straw
+1 -0
One man's flaw is another's perfection.
Of course, this is coming from a guy who digs girls with glasses, so take from it what you will.
One man's flaw is another's perfection.
Of course, this is coming from a guy who digs girls with glasses, so take from it what you will.
opalleye
+0 -0
It smacks of cockney and should raise fear in the hearts of all red-blooded Americans who supported the Revolution.
It smacks of cockney and should raise fear in the hearts of all red-blooded Americans who supported the Revolution.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Women don't mind either of the two words when used independently, but sometimes disapprove when you use both together
Women don't mind either of the two words when used independently, but sometimes disapprove when you use both together
spinynorman
+4 -0
Mantypoist.
Mantypoist.
boredom_man
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure I'm that right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm that right now.
pogo
+1 -0
You mean "awkward panties"?
You mean "awkward panties"?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Ok, now that is a great band name.
Ok, now that is a great band name.
pogo
+0 -0
Tru dat. A girl band, right? Their first CD could be "Undies in a Bundle."
Tru dat. A girl band, right? Their first CD could be "Undies in a Bundle."
spinynorman
+0 -0
"Bundy's Undies."
Could wind up being pretty morbid shit, though.
"Bundy's Undies."
Could wind up being pretty morbid shit, though.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Pawkward Anties: n. A small group of islands in French Polynesia inhabited entirely by cross dressing, gangly teenagers who wear lingerie as head dress.
Pawkward Anties: n. A small group of islands in French Polynesia inhabited entirely by cross dressing, gangly teenagers who wear lingerie as head dress.
straw
+1 -0
Your above comment ("I enjoyed the delightful explanation of your own joke. Normally that does not go so well. Your happiness is infectious! What joy!") made me want to give you a chubby, but I was out. And yet, as my cursor hovered over the reply link, I somehow decided it did not warrant a virtual chubby. This comment, however, does.
Virtual chubby for you, good sir.
Your above comment ("I enjoyed the delightful explanation of your own joke. Normally that does not go so well. Your happiness is infectious! What joy!") made me want to give you a chubby, but I was out. And yet, as my cursor hovered over the reply link, I somehow decided it did not warrant a virtual chubby. This comment, however, does.
Virtual chubby for you, good sir.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Woodenteeth, do you ever play Balderdash? Just... just curious.
Woodenteeth, do you ever play Balderdash? Just... just curious.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
This is a good thing to have said, Pogo.
This is a good thing to have said, Pogo.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks. Got a spare chubby on ya? I'm running a 2-1 deficit.
Thanks. Got a spare chubby on ya? I'm running a 2-1 deficit.
saucy_jack
+1 -0
I haven't had a chubby since the Great War.
I haven't had a chubby since the Great War.
rene
+0 -0
And also "loins" and "ointment."
And also "loins" and "ointment."
catgrl131
+1 -0
Lointment?
Lointment?
rene
+0 -0
ew......I feel violated, just a little, when i read that word.
ew......I feel violated, just a little, when i read that word.
nickgranger
+0 -0
Sean Connery's Neck at a Wedding. New band name.
Sean Connery's Neck at a Wedding. New band name.
professorhazard
+0 -0
New cologne.
New cologne.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
New women's shampoo .
New women's shampoo .
whiteturtle
+9 -0
New place to hide my face and cry as I realize our little girl is not a little girl any more.
New place to hide my face and cry as I realize our little girl is not a little girl any more.
achilleselbow
+2 -1
Eh, I should've done this yesterday, but what the hell, might as well:
[IMGS OFF]
Oh to be like the cool kids and have/know how to use Photoshop.
Eh, I should've done this yesterday, but what the hell, might as well:
[IMGS OFF]
Oh to be like the cool kids and have/know how to use Photoshop.
sncether
+0 -0
If you rinse and repeat four times before you condition, you end up with an awesome Hugh Grant-style coiffure.
hey everybody it's me, jay leno! anybody here like motorcycles?
If you rinse and repeat four times before you condition, you end up with an awesome Hugh Grant-style coiffure.
hey everybody it's me, jay leno! anybody here like motorcycles?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
my droogs
my droogs
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, for the love of...!
MAW! IT HAPPENED AG'IN!
Oh, for the love of...!
MAW! IT HAPPENED AG'IN!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Man, as long as you have that avatar, you can do no wrong in my eyes.
Man, as long as you have that avatar, you can do no wrong in my eyes.
redmange
+0 -0
It is hard to tell by the tone of this strip whether Cornelius is being sincere about his excitement over Teodor's tomfoolery, or if he is setting up a very long winded -Fuck Along Now-.
It is hard to tell by the tone of this strip whether Cornelius is being sincere about his excitement over Teodor's tomfoolery, or if he is setting up a very long winded -Fuck Along Now-.
abj
+0 -0
I love this strip for Cornelius's sense of advertising, and also the detailed scent analysis concluding "Yes, this is indeed British".
I love this strip for Cornelius's sense of advertising, and also the detailed scent analysis concluding "Yes, this is indeed British".
gilganixon
+0 -0
A comment left by gilganixon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, speccer, Thorfinn, mortshire, mrblank91, scraggg, foea, Tipist)
A comment left by gilganixon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, tekende, speccer, Thorfinn, mortshire, mrblank91, scraggg, foea, Tipist)
whiteturtle
+0 -0
Belle looks a little...indisposed there.
Belle looks a little...indisposed there.
tekende
+2 -0
Well. Imagine how big the Beast might be.
Well. Imagine how big the Beast might be.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Way to go , Ron Perlman!
Way to go , Ron Perlman!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
People need to stop laming that post, deserving of it though it may be, simply so that others can understand that exchange in its entirety.
People need to stop laming that post, deserving of it though it may be, simply so that others can understand that exchange in its entirety.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Anyone can see any obscured post by clicking on the clickable part of it that remains after it is gone.
Anyone can see any obscured post by clicking on the clickable part of it that remains after it is gone.
whiteturtle
+7 -0
Our memories of those that die are like the clickable part of them that remains after they are gone.
Our memories of those that die are like the clickable part of them that remains after they are gone.
maximus
+0 -0
but when you click them, do they open in a new window?
//chub4u
but when you click them, do they open in a new window?
//chub4u
tekende
+0 -0
I don't know, it might be funnier out of context.
I don't know, it might be funnier out of context.
deusoma
+0 -0
The shame in the fact that I fully understand that reference is countered by my belief that Ron Perlman is the greatest actor ever.
The shame in the fact that I fully understand that reference is countered by my belief that Ron Perlman is the greatest actor ever.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
your avatar is zooming in perfect sync with my music.
that is all.
your avatar is zooming in perfect sync with my music.
that is all.
straw
+0 -0
IT'S NEVER LUPUS
1 2 3 4
IT'S NEVER LUPUS
1 2 3 4
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Great now I can't get THAT image out of my head. All reaching around tightly squeezing his hand. I think porn has ruined me.
Great now I can't get THAT image out of my head. All reaching around tightly squeezing his hand. I think porn has ruined me.
tekende
+0 -0
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
daidai
+0 -0
I laughed, then said "ew"
I laughed, then said "ew"
peterjoel
+0 -0
Belle, are you crappin'?
Belle, are you crappin'?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
A chubby! For you. Of the virtual sort.
A chubby! For you. Of the virtual sort.
hbaranov
+19 -0
Just to whore the image I made for the previous comic. Cornelius operating system.
[IMGS OFF]
Just to whore the image I made for the previous comic. Cornelius operating system.
[IMGS OFF]
wittyname
+0 -0
A comment left by wittyname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chuchurocket, AgentJ, Tipist)
A comment left by wittyname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chuchurocket, AgentJ, Tipist)
whiteturtle
+0 -0
I am not going to lame you, because that is a fair statement and I am sure other people are gonna jump on that wagon anyway, but I have to disagree. Onstad manages to nail with pinpoint accuracy not just one but dozens of difficult to evoke sensations using two stuffed bears and a box with a crown on it. That is very exciting to me.
I am not going to lame you, because that is a fair statement and I am sure other people are gonna jump on that wagon anyway, but I have to disagree. Onstad manages to nail with pinpoint accuracy not just one but dozens of difficult to evoke sensations using two stuffed bears and a box with a crown on it. That is very exciting to me.
wittyname
+2 -0
This comic actually made me do something that has never happened to me whenever I read old one Achewood strips. I got up and walked away from the computer to do something else. I got up to panel three, and finished it later. And my opinion didn't change after finishing it.
I mean, damn . I looked at a wall of text and said, %u201CY%u2019know, I really don%u2019t want to read any of that. I think I%u2019ll play some video games.%u201D I know I didn%u2019t get the same reaction as many other people. People may accuse me of %u201Cnot getting it%u201D. But I don%u2019t remember what Cornelius said that doesn%u2019t come down to %u201CHow delightfully British I am, and so is this box. Huzzah!%u201D Not that I didn%u2019t understand it, but I read over it and I couldn%u2019t be bothered to care.
All the interesting plot lines that could have been followed up on -- Phillipe being left home alone, probably an explanation to the Prostitute Dreams and we get this?
This comic actually made me do something that has never happened to me whenever I read old one Achewood strips. I got up and walked away from the computer to do something else. I got up to panel three, and finished it later. And my opinion didn't change after finishing it.
I mean, damn . I looked at a wall of text and said, %u201CY%u2019know, I really don%u2019t want to read any of that. I think I%u2019ll play some video games.%u201D I know I didn%u2019t get the same reaction as many other people. People may accuse me of %u201Cnot getting it%u201D. But I don%u2019t remember what Cornelius said that doesn%u2019t come down to %u201CHow delightfully British I am, and so is this box. Huzzah!%u201D Not that I didn%u2019t understand it, but I read over it and I couldn%u2019t be bothered to care.
All the interesting plot lines that could have been followed up on -- Phillipe being left home alone, probably an explanation to the Prostitute Dreams and we get this?
wittyname
+1 -0
Oops.
Oops.
tekende
+0 -0
The messed up apostrophes there actually made this post a lot more entertaining.
The messed up apostrophes there actually made this post a lot more entertaining.
wittyname
+13 -0
It's like Assetbar pretty much took my rant and said "DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS"
It's like Assetbar pretty much took my rant and said "DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS"
usversusthem
+0 -0
I'm so sad to be out of chubbies right now, wittyname.
I'm so sad to be out of chubbies right now, wittyname.
lonis
+0 -0
Got you covered.
Got you covered.
spinynorman
+1 -0
It's like the worst secretary ever
It's like the worst secretary ever
rowboat
+0 -0
The kind that tells everyone that you're cheating.
The kind that tells everyone that you're cheating.
synnah
+0 -0
That is about the only thing you can say after being raped so throughly by Assetbar.
That is about the only thing you can say after being raped so throughly by Assetbar.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Assetbar rapes quickly and vigorously, ina simmilar manner to the way a south korean eats a pastrami sandwich.
Assetbar rapes quickly and vigorously, ina simmilar manner to the way a south korean eats a pastrami sandwich.
opalleye
+0 -0
Unfounded racial stereotypes were soooo last week.
Unfounded racial stereotypes were soooo last week.
foea
+1 -0
Also, dragging out vowels to emphasize a word is outmoded.
Also, dragging out vowels to emphasize a word is outmoded.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I didn%u2019t understand it
I didn%u2019t understand it
catgrl131
+1 -0
We did get an explanation: The Achewood machine was broken. Lyk, omg duh!
We did get an explanation: The Achewood machine was broken. Lyk, omg duh!
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Similarly, when I got to the mess that is the last two thirds of your asset, I said, "You know, I really don't want to read any of that."
Assetbar makes fools of us all.
Similarly, when I got to the mess that is the last two thirds of your asset, I said, "You know, I really don't want to read any of that."
Assetbar makes fools of us all.
wittyname
+0 -0
I guess I'll repost it, though the impact is certainly dulled.
"This comic actually made me do something that has never happened to me whenever I read old one Achewood strips. I got up and walked away from the computer to do something else. I got up to panel three, and finished it later. And my opinion didn't change after finishing it.
I mean, damn. I looked at a wall of text and said, "Y'know, I really don't want to read any of that. I think I'll play some video games." I know I didn't get the same reaction as many other people. People may accuse me of "not getting it". But I don't remember what Cornelius said that doesn't come down to "How delightfully British I am, and so is this box. Huzzah!" Not that I didn't understand it, but I read over it and I couldn't be bothered to care.
All the interesting plot lines that could have been followed up on -- Phillipe being left home alone, probably an explanation to the Prostitute Dreams and we get this?"
I guess I'll repost it, though the impact is certainly dulled.
"This comic actually made me do something that has never happened to me whenever I read old one Achewood strips. I got up and walked away from the computer to do something else. I got up to panel three, and finished it later. And my opinion didn't change after finishing it.
I mean, damn. I looked at a wall of text and said, "Y'know, I really don't want to read any of that. I think I'll play some video games." I know I didn't get the same reaction as many other people. People may accuse me of "not getting it". But I don't remember what Cornelius said that doesn't come down to "How delightfully British I am, and so is this box. Huzzah!" Not that I didn't understand it, but I read over it and I couldn't be bothered to care.
All the interesting plot lines that could have been followed up on -- Phillipe being left home alone, probably an explanation to the Prostitute Dreams and we get this?"
straw
+1 -0
Ah, to once again be 19, male...
Ah, to once again be 19, male...
wittyname
+0 -0
So the sex change went good then?
So the sex change went good then?
straw
+0 -0
No.
No.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
I quite agree with you. Although I enjoy the whole, "How delightfully British I am," thing, there's stuff I'd rather see from Achewood, and I think it's been done better by other sources (Stephen Fry).
I miss being in the middle of the archives, because you were never disappointed by an "eh" strip. You could just keep going until you got to a great one.
I quite agree with you. Although I enjoy the whole, "How delightfully British I am," thing, there's stuff I'd rather see from Achewood, and I think it's been done better by other sources (Stephen Fry).
I miss being in the middle of the archives, because you were never disappointed by an "eh" strip. You could just keep going until you got to a great one.
rowboat
+0 -0
I, for one, would never accuse you of %u201Cn%u201D.
I, for one, would never accuse you of %u201Cn%u201D.
phy
+5 -0
Strong, simple, elegant. Forged from fine ores, machined and polished to gleaming by honest men with honest moustaches, under a bright Newcastle sun. A sturdy new head for your trusted garden spade? Surely not: It is the Envaliant III, the newest "lap-top" computing engine, from the lads at Shrovis-Bishopthorpe.
Strong, simple, elegant. Forged from fine ores, machined and polished to gleaming by honest men with honest moustaches, under a bright Newcastle sun. A sturdy new head for your trusted garden spade? Surely not: It is the Envaliant III, the newest "lap-top" computing engine, from the lads at Shrovis-Bishopthorpe.
tsume454
+1 -0
This is what it would sound like if Nice Pete got a job writing for PCWorld
This is what it would sound like if Nice Pete got a job writing for PCWorld
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, re5urgam, Conn, atticusonline, explodingbat, SpinyNorman, foea)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, re5urgam, Conn, atticusonline, explodingbat, SpinyNorman, foea)
agentj
+0 -0
the gestalt of the whole not unlike
the gestalt of the whole not unlike
eatmorekix
+3 -0
"gestalt of the whole" is sort of awkward and/or redundant, isn't it?
"gestalt of the whole" is sort of awkward and/or redundant, isn't it?
scraggg
+0 -0
That or the name of an ambient/drone album.
That or the name of an ambient/drone album.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
oh god i gag when i see albums with names like that. sorry if that offends you somehow, as an obvious fan of a band with difficult album names.
oh god i gag when i see albums with names like that. sorry if that offends you somehow, as an obvious fan of a band with difficult album names.
scraggg
+0 -0
Ironically, as I read this, I was listening to an album entitled "Oh Me Oh My... The Way the Day Goes By the Sun Is Setting Dogs Are Dreaming Lovesongs of the Christmas Spirit".
Ironically, as I read this, I was listening to an album entitled "Oh Me Oh My... The Way the Day Goes By the Sun Is Setting Dogs Are Dreaming Lovesongs of the Christmas Spirit".
eatmorekix
+0 -0
at least that one is easily abbreviated. tell me, as a GY!BE fan, how do you pronounce their first album? f-sharp a-sharp infinity? i always wonder stuff like that, like how the fuck do you pronounce the band name OOIOO. WHY BE SO DIFFICULT?
at least that one is easily abbreviated. tell me, as a GY!BE fan, how do you pronounce their first album? f-sharp a-sharp infinity? i always wonder stuff like that, like how the fuck do you pronounce the band name OOIOO. WHY BE SO DIFFICULT?
tekende
+0 -0
Or that band called !!! I mean, seriously. What the hey.
Or that band called !!! I mean, seriously. What the hey.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
!!! is pronounced *Chik* *Chik* *Chik*.
Insert ubiquitous "the more you know" graphic here.
!!! is pronounced *Chik* *Chik* *Chik*.
Insert ubiquitous "the more you know" graphic here.
tekende
+0 -0
I know, but I don't care. Exclamation points do not in themselves make a sound, therefore any pronunication, official or no, is inherently invalid.
This is the reason I do not listen to !!!. I don't care how good their music might be.
I know, but I don't care. Exclamation points do not in themselves make a sound, therefore any pronunication, official or no, is inherently invalid.
This is the reason I do not listen to !!!. I don't care how good their music might be.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
it's not that good so don't worry.
it's not that good so don't worry.
richfamous
+17 -0
I pronounce that band's name by opening my eyes really wide.
I pronounce that band's name by opening my eyes really wide.
straw
+0 -0
Haha, o man. Virtual Chubby.
Also, while we're on the general topic, I thought that Khoisan languages (when written by white devils) are marked with ! whenever they have a click sound in their speech. Is this actual or am I just drunk?
Haha, o man. Virtual Chubby.
Also, while we're on the general topic, I thought that Khoisan languages (when written by white devils) are marked with ! whenever they have a click sound in their speech. Is this actual or am I just drunk?
divot
+0 -0
I have heard this too, but I am not sure as to its veracity.
I have heard this too, but I am not sure as to its veracity.
straw
+0 -0
I have heard them back it up in such as a radio interview.
I have heard them back it up in such as a radio interview.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
!!! are incredibly fun live. Their albums are some of the most organic sounding dance music around. Their name can be pronounced with any three consecutive sounds that you feel fit (heard a couple of interviews confirming this). It is a marketing gimic, nothing more.
!!! are incredibly fun live. Their albums are some of the most organic sounding dance music around. Their name can be pronounced with any three consecutive sounds that you feel fit (heard a couple of interviews confirming this). It is a marketing gimic, nothing more.
saucy_jack
+2 -0
I fail on pronouncing them even with such leniency. If I am listening to !!! and someone asks, I shout incoherently and look surprised.
I fail on pronouncing them even with such leniency. If I am listening to !!! and someone asks, I shout incoherently and look surprised.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
You're a naughty one, Saucy Jack.
You're a haughty one, Saucy Jack.
You know, I really envy us.
You're a naughty one, Saucy Jack.
You're a haughty one, Saucy Jack.
You know, I really envy us.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
YES!
I'd give you a chubby but I'm all out.
YES!
I'd give you a chubby but I'm all out.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I'm sorry, I made this point a few posts above. If I were not silly, I would have scrolled down to see that you beat me to it, 15 hours ago.
I'm sorry, I made this point a few posts above. If I were not silly, I would have scrolled down to see that you beat me to it, 15 hours ago.
spinynorman
+6 -0
Having grown up on Dave Barry, most of my time is spent pointing out various non sequitirs in conversations that would make hilarious band names. Memorable ones include "Soviet Dick," "Frank Capra's Shetland Pony Assholes," "Stinky Peete and the Chuckwagon Faggots," and "Fred Thompson's Horrible Genitals."
Now I can't remember any of the conversations from which those splinters of stupidity arose. Just useless band names. When I get old and senile and start spouting phrases from my youth, everyone at Luby's is going to be really disturbed by the old man shouting "CHUCKWAGON FAGGOTS! CHUCKWAGON FAGGOTS!"
Having grown up on Dave Barry, most of my time is spent pointing out various non sequitirs in conversations that would make hilarious band names. Memorable ones include "Soviet Dick," "Frank Capra's Shetland Pony Assholes," "Stinky Peete and the Chuckwagon Faggots," and "Fred Thompson's Horrible Genitals."
Now I can't remember any of the conversations from which those splinters of stupidity arose. Just useless band names. When I get old and senile and start spouting phrases from my youth, everyone at Luby's is going to be really disturbed by the old man shouting "CHUCKWAGON FAGGOTS! CHUCKWAGON FAGGOTS!"
straw
+1 -0
Just don't say it a third time or your case worker's gonna be pissed.
Just don't say it a third time or your case worker's gonna be pissed.
sncether
+0 -0
What, are you afraid it's going to summon something, "Beetlejuice" style? A Conestoga wagon full of men in hot pants, perhaps? Serving tin plates of beans with rough-hewn wooden spoons?
I don't even know what Luby's is, but I can guarantee that would improve it.
What, are you afraid it's going to summon something, "Beetlejuice" style? A Conestoga wagon full of men in hot pants, perhaps? Serving tin plates of beans with rough-hewn wooden spoons?
I don't even know what Luby's is, but I can guarantee that would improve it.
tekende
+0 -0
Luby's is a cafeteria. It is mostly a dining place of old people.
Luby's is a cafeteria. It is mostly a dining place of old people.
loneal
+0 -0
Sounds...slippery.
Sounds...slippery.
straw
+0 -0
Frankly, I'm just so delighted you got the reference right off the bat. Vchub.
Frankly, I'm just so delighted you got the reference right off the bat. Vchub.
soupkaty
+0 -0
from what i've heard, you can say it with any three sounds repeated. chik chik chik is just the most popular.
i do not know this from fact, just something a lady told me once.
from what i've heard, you can say it with any three sounds repeated. chik chik chik is just the most popular.
i do not know this from fact, just something a lady told me once.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Don't worry, I got it.
[IMGS OFF]
Don't worry, I got it.
[IMGS OFF]
bixschmix
+0 -0
No. Sorry, incorrect. Technically, !!! can be pronounced any way you choose. I call them "pow pow pow." Chik chik chik has become accepted, but when they first came out I read an interview where they said that any three sounds, repeated, were correct and acceptable.
No. Sorry, incorrect. Technically, !!! can be pronounced any way you choose. I call them "pow pow pow." Chik chik chik has become accepted, but when they first came out I read an interview where they said that any three sounds, repeated, were correct and acceptable.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I can go one better: I'm currently in the process of forming a band whose name consists of three soft signs .
I can go one better: I'm currently in the process of forming a band whose name consists of three soft signs .
brokeaccount
+0 -0
I know someone who makes music under the name of three tildes... I don't know why he chose that, but he did.
I know someone who makes music under the name of three tildes... I don't know why he chose that, but he did.
foea
+0 -0
Comes first in an alphabetical search?
Comes first in an alphabetical search?
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Count this comment as a chubby in your favor.
Count this comment as a chubby in your favor.
hamscout
+2 -0
Quote:
"Yeah, I saw %u044C%u044C%u044C at the Garden last year, and they were...*gwrarflfft!*"
*chubby*
Quote:
"The lives 5,000 screaming fans were cut short today, as their favorite band (brainchild of achilleselbow) appeared on the Good Morning America stage in NY. Unfortunately, upon glimpsing the musicians, the fans simultaneously attempted to scream the band name, causing their soft paletes to fold in on themselves, forming a miniature black hole into which their bodies were slowly sucked.
"Yeah, I saw %u044C%u044C%u044C at the Garden last year, and they were...*gwrarflfft!*"
*chubby*
hamscout
+0 -0
spell check and assetbar can go %u044C themselves
spell check and assetbar can go %u044C themselves
straw
+0 -0
what
what
brokeaccount
+0 -0
You say it "oh oh eye oh oh".
You say it "oh oh eye oh oh".
jay-are
+0 -0
Officially, 'oh oh eye oh oh'. Takes some of the magic out of it, doesn't it?
Officially, 'oh oh eye oh oh'. Takes some of the magic out of it, doesn't it?
daidai
+0 -0
It made me think of salted whole milk.
Is that wrong?
It made me think of salted whole milk.
Is that wrong?
comrade_tom
+0 -1
Dont hold a freshly sharpened pencil too close to your nose our neville lost an eye that way.
Dont hold a freshly sharpened pencil too close to your nose our neville lost an eye that way.
epicurus
+0 -0
I can actually imagine the smell of Sean Connery's neck at a wedding very clearly. That might be the best odour description I've ever seen to date.
I can actually imagine the smell of Sean Connery's neck at a wedding very clearly. That might be the best odour description I've ever seen to date.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm vigilantly trying to avoid it.
I'm vigilantly trying to avoid it.
kylemcjuicy
+0 -0
This comic was worth the wait.
This comic was worth the wait.
dino_grill
+0 -0
Hee Mr. Bear gives Halston a shout out. Really is more of his time.
Hee Mr. Bear gives Halston a shout out. Really is more of his time.
orf
+2 -0
I want to chubby the whole comment section today. You're killing me here. You guys are really hitting it out of the park.
I want to chubby the whole comment section today. You're killing me here. You guys are really hitting it out of the park.
straw
+1 -0
A two-fold chubby for you: one for the super-positive comment and one for llama.
A two-fold chubby for you: one for the super-positive comment and one for llama.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Hah. For a split second there I just thought you were being really self-complimentary.
Hah. For a split second there I just thought you were being really self-complimentary.
straw
+0 -0
Well, from a metaphysical standpoint I probably was.
Well, from a metaphysical standpoint I probably was.
daidai
+0 -0
I did too, and chubbied him for it.
It was a chubby given under false pretenses, but I want you to keep it.
I did too, and chubbied him for it.
It was a chubby given under false pretenses, but I want you to keep it.
straw
+0 -0
Hey man, thanks. I will now peruse some of your other comments and dole out chubbies accordingly (this is my definition of a virtual chubby, but it may not be others').
Hey man, thanks. I will now peruse some of your other comments and dole out chubbies accordingly (this is my definition of a virtual chubby, but it may not be others').
maximus
+0 -0
That must be in a wooden crate packed with excelsior. Cornelius removes the laptop and, with an careworn rag, applies a stinting coat of S-B's Patented 3-in-1 Protective Oil.
That must be in a wooden crate packed with excelsior. Cornelius removes the laptop and, with an careworn rag, applies a stinting coat of S-B's Patented 3-in-1 Protective Oil.
worldbelow
+0 -0
I'm British... and this strip is incomprehensible .
I'm British... and this strip is incomprehensible .
rabbidpanda
+0 -0
In much the way that the dialect normally spoken by his American characters would be borderline incomprehensible to the average dude on the street.
In much the way that the dialect normally spoken by his American characters would be borderline incomprehensible to the average dude on the street.
pr0ncess
+0 -1
I was just thinking recently about how we British keep quiet when Onstad unleashes his so-called "Anglophilia", and the people on Assetbar go all "woo hahahahaha British people/food/celebrities suck!!", and wondering whether we kept quiet for any of the following reasons (and this is a non-exhaustive list):
-- we silently agree with the American comments (I couldn't help but laugh when I read one comment about England's chavish population and its incapacity to formulate any form of intelligent riposte)
-- we know better than to join a debate on the INTERNET, ye home of AOL (remind me, does the A stand for... Anglophiles?)
-- we enjoy and laugh at the ragging they give us, safe in the knowledge of own superiority
-- we don't know what to say so we just keep mum and hope the next Showbiz strip comes soon to deflect attention from us
there are many other reasons but those are the ones that came to mind.
Also, why am I so exhausted that I cannot get up, but the moment I call and cancel my appointments for the morning, I am on the internet talking rubbish instead of sleeping. WRRRRRY.
I was just thinking recently about how we British keep quiet when Onstad unleashes his so-called "Anglophilia", and the people on Assetbar go all "woo hahahahaha British people/food/celebrities suck!!", and wondering whether we kept quiet for any of the following reasons (and this is a non-exhaustive list):
-- we silently agree with the American comments (I couldn't help but laugh when I read one comment about England's chavish population and its incapacity to formulate any form of intelligent riposte)
-- we know better than to join a debate on the INTERNET, ye home of AOL (remind me, does the A stand for... Anglophiles?)
-- we enjoy and laugh at the ragging they give us, safe in the knowledge of own superiority
-- we don't know what to say so we just keep mum and hope the next Showbiz strip comes soon to deflect attention from us
there are many other reasons but those are the ones that came to mind.
Also, why am I so exhausted that I cannot get up, but the moment I call and cancel my appointments for the morning, I am on the internet talking rubbish instead of sleeping. WRRRRRY.
loneal
+0 -0
Look, Americans need to believe there is someone out there more ridiculous than we are.
Look, Americans need to believe there is someone out there more ridiculous than we are.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Right, and the British provide the only safe target for ridicule. They're ethnically identical and our culture is just a cheap knockoff of theirs. It's like how no one would care if Pathmark put outrageous claims about Cocoa Krispies on boxes of Cocoa Krisp Rice.
Right, and the British provide the only safe target for ridicule. They're ethnically identical and our culture is just a cheap knockoff of theirs. It's like how no one would care if Pathmark put outrageous claims about Cocoa Krispies on boxes of Cocoa Krisp Rice.
straw
+0 -0
Jeez guy.
Jeez guy.
professorhazard
+0 -1
Someone's forgetting about the French!
Someone's forgetting about the French!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
flazisismuss
+6 -0
American mocking of anglophilia is not the same as mocking the English. (Let's leave the Scots and Welsh out of this, they're entirely innocent.) There is something more than faintly ridiculous about anyone in the US carrying on about and living in a world that is a fantasy of Victorian civility and mores... and this Victorian past was, by most accounts, a hellish nightmare of toil and disease. American anglophilia has nothing to do with England or the English, and everything to do with our collective inability to grasp the horrible injustices of our own past or present. Just my 2 cents.
American mocking of anglophilia is not the same as mocking the English. (Let's leave the Scots and Welsh out of this, they're entirely innocent.) There is something more than faintly ridiculous about anyone in the US carrying on about and living in a world that is a fantasy of Victorian civility and mores... and this Victorian past was, by most accounts, a hellish nightmare of toil and disease. American anglophilia has nothing to do with England or the English, and everything to do with our collective inability to grasp the horrible injustices of our own past or present. Just my 2 cents.
pr0ncess
+0 -0
I chubby this comment.
I chubby this comment.
irondave
+0 -0
We kid because we love.
We kid because we love.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
I find it kind of charming that his insights into Britishness are filtered through such a north American lens.
He pulls off Cornelius's ex-pat thing pretty well, though. Or at least I assume that's his intent. Makes me wonder whether the US readers take that into account and don't just think of him as a wholly British character.
I find it kind of charming that his insights into Britishness are filtered through such a north American lens.
He pulls off Cornelius's ex-pat thing pretty well, though. Or at least I assume that's his intent. Makes me wonder whether the US readers take that into account and don't just think of him as a wholly British character.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
He isn't an ex-pat at all. He's a re-pat. Brit Ex-pats, at least those in California, tend to be the happy hyperagressive car salesmen type, pleased as hell that everyone likes them for their charming accent. They're happy about the good life and tend to act more American than apple pie. They deliberately keep the accent since it's a great meal ticket and are secretly afraid that we might wise up and realize that they're really a son of the working class.
He isn't an ex-pat at all. He's a re-pat. Brit Ex-pats, at least those in California, tend to be the happy hyperagressive car salesmen type, pleased as hell that everyone likes them for their charming accent. They're happy about the good life and tend to act more American than apple pie. They deliberately keep the accent since it's a great meal ticket and are secretly afraid that we might wise up and realize that they're really a son of the working class.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
If we're talking the actual definition of the term... Then yeah, he's an ex-pat. I think the difference between Cornelius and your experience with most British ex-pats is that Corneilus isn't a money-grubbing cunt. However he is Americanised in quite a lot of ways.
I've got to admit, Englishness is a really fun thing to play up in the US. Especially when female shop-assistants ask you to say specific words for them and then give you money off of stuff.
If we're talking the actual definition of the term... Then yeah, he's an ex-pat. I think the difference between Cornelius and your experience with most British ex-pats is that Corneilus isn't a money-grubbing cunt. However he is Americanised in quite a lot of ways.
I've got to admit, Englishness is a really fun thing to play up in the US. Especially when female shop-assistants ask you to say specific words for them and then give you money off of stuff.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I think there are enough places Americans and non-Americans alike can go to make fun of America. Which is okay, sure. Making fun of Britain though, it's a bit rarer a commodity for most US citizens, at least. Humor aimed at the segments of America deemed backwards is pervasive, all over the place. It's refreshing to see another group get a little sassin'. Honestly, I think it's very cheap to make a joke about...the Southern United States or something. Just because I hear them all the time. I never hear, outside of Achewood, jokes aimed at Britain. It's probably different perspectives though. America-bashing jokes are old hat in America; British-bashing jokes are probably old hat in Britain.
also i mean seriously blood pudding
I think there are enough places Americans and non-Americans alike can go to make fun of America. Which is okay, sure. Making fun of Britain though, it's a bit rarer a commodity for most US citizens, at least. Humor aimed at the segments of America deemed backwards is pervasive, all over the place. It's refreshing to see another group get a little sassin'. Honestly, I think it's very cheap to make a joke about...the Southern United States or something. Just because I hear them all the time. I never hear, outside of Achewood, jokes aimed at Britain. It's probably different perspectives though. America-bashing jokes are old hat in America; British-bashing jokes are probably old hat in Britain.
also i mean seriously blood pudding
pr0ncess
+0 -0
I don't know who to reply to so I'll reply to myself... all I meant was, I was wondering, with amusement, as to why us British always keep very quiet during these strips... I was more probing for British comments than anything else. I'm not offended by the Brit-bashing, go for it. I'm hybrid British-French and I treat both my countries with equal disdain -- and of course get served for it on a regular basis.
I don't know who to reply to so I'll reply to myself... all I meant was, I was wondering, with amusement, as to why us British always keep very quiet during these strips... I was more probing for British comments than anything else. I'm not offended by the Brit-bashing, go for it. I'm hybrid British-French and I treat both my countries with equal disdain -- and of course get served for it on a regular basis.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Cornelius sure is perky lately.
Cornelius sure is perky lately.
spinynorman
+0 -0
he will soon be humming hell of ditties
he will soon be humming hell of ditties
niggar
+0 -0
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, professorhazard, Thorfinn, snidedk, catgrl131, quaga, Darleen, GrooveHolmes, techiebabe, Doc_Rostov, ISeeDeadPixels)
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, professorhazard, Thorfinn, snidedk, catgrl131, quaga, Darleen, GrooveHolmes, techiebabe, Doc_Rostov, ISeeDeadPixels)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -2
i want to lame you but i know others will do the job for me.
i want to lame you but i know others will do the job for me.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
What if everyone thought the way you do?
What if everyone thought the way you do?
usversusthem
+1 -0
" ...and that's how Nazism became the dominant world religion! "
" ...and that's how Nazism became the dominant world religion! "
sncether
+3 -0
Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
tekende
+0 -0
A Walter Sobchek-sized Virtual chubby for you.
A Walter Sobchek-sized Virtual chubby for you.
little_angry_plum
+0 -0
amen brother. don't listen to those saddies.
amen brother. don't listen to those saddies.
darleen
+0 -1
Hmmm, Cornelius is right, pencils do smell good.
Hmmm, Cornelius is right, pencils do smell good.
mikeleffel2
+0 -0
i want an entire week where people get sick on Beef. Poor guy.
i want an entire week where people get sick on Beef. Poor guy.
little_angry_plum
+0 -0
A comment left by little_angry_plum was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, professorhazard, Thorfinn, Ljuke, tenthman, techiebabe)
A comment left by little_angry_plum was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, professorhazard, Thorfinn, Ljuke, tenthman, techiebabe)
tenthman
+0 -0
So you don't like the strip, that's fine, but you think Sabbath is something to laugh at? Lame.
So you don't like the strip, that's fine, but you think Sabbath is something to laugh at? Lame.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
English culture has given many more amusing things than black sabbath. submitted for your approval.
The first two films of "The blood and icecream trilogy"
The Ouvres of chris Moriss (Paedogeddon in particular)
Messrs Cook and Moore.
The English Class System.
English culture has given many more amusing things than black sabbath. submitted for your approval.
The first two films of "The blood and icecream trilogy"
The Ouvres of chris Moriss (Paedogeddon in particular)
Messrs Cook and Moore.
The English Class System.
iseedeadpixels
+0 -0
He means shaun of the dead and hot-fuzz incase anyone doesnt get the blood and ice cream trilogy. Edgar Wright only mentioned it in an interview once i think.
He means shaun of the dead and hot-fuzz incase anyone doesnt get the blood and ice cream trilogy. Edgar Wright only mentioned it in an interview once i think.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Somebody throw a freakin' pie!!
Somebody throw a freakin' pie!!
cantilever
+1 -0
So basically you hate achewood.
So basically you hate achewood.
spinynorman
+0 -0
What the lady has said is most appropriate.
What the lady has said is most appropriate.
mjfitzge
+0 -0
fry sees what you did there little_angry_plum .
fry sees what you did there little_angry_plum .
skoora
+0 -0
Yeah, Chris, we are doin' this! We are hella doin' this!
Yeah, Chris, we are doin' this! We are hella doin' this!
drunkenimp
+0 -0
Fuckin A !
Fuckin A !
opprobrium
+0 -0
i'm mentioned in the strip. it's no big deal or anything.
i'm mentioned in the strip. it's no big deal or anything.
professorhazard
+1 -0
You're right. It's not.
just kidding it's awesome
You're right. It's not.
just kidding it's awesome
opprobrium
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
you get a chubby you lucky bastard. but let's not forget - it's all about me and my special accomplishment.
[IMGS OFF]
you get a chubby you lucky bastard. but let's not forget - it's all about me and my special accomplishment.
falseprophet
+0 -0
opprobrium, you just received a shout-out from Cornelius Bear, winner of the Bad-Ass Games, in the Achewood online comic strip!
What are you going to do next?
opprobrium, you just received a shout-out from Cornelius Bear, winner of the Bad-Ass Games, in the Achewood online comic strip!
What are you going to do next?
tupacodaman
+0 -0
panels 1 and 4 are the same except for teodor's eyebrows and the point at which the package is cut off from view
panels 1 and 4 are the same except for teodor's eyebrows and the point at which the package is cut off from view
crunch-e-nuts
+0 -1
Hi assetbars. Long time reader first time poster.
Is Cornelius being speaking literally in panel 3? i.e Teodor is Cornelius' son. Look alike, live together, ye olde names. I may have missed a strip where this was previously established or may just be missing my own father figure, sob.
Hi assetbars. Long time reader first time poster.
Is Cornelius being speaking literally in panel 3? i.e Teodor is Cornelius' son. Look alike, live together, ye olde names. I may have missed a strip where this was previously established or may just be missing my own father figure, sob.
whiteturtle
+0 -1
Do posters to this site have a general nomenclature yet? Because I think "assetbears" might be a good one, and I credit mr. crunch-e-nuts with it. I am a proud assetbear.
Do posters to this site have a general nomenclature yet? Because I think "assetbears" might be a good one, and I credit mr. crunch-e-nuts with it. I am a proud assetbear.
sncether
+0 -0
I believe your unconscious attributed an absent "E" (It would have been nice if it were an "A" to keep my alliteration going, but a las.)
Anyway, I think you can claim that credit, my friend. Perhaps you would like to exchange it at the assetbar gift shop for an oversize novelty comb? Or you can save up and go for the portable RCA black and white TV, for your kitchen table or boat, maybe.
I believe your unconscious attributed an absent "E" (It would have been nice if it were an "A" to keep my alliteration going, but a las.)
Anyway, I think you can claim that credit, my friend. Perhaps you would like to exchange it at the assetbar gift shop for an oversize novelty comb? Or you can save up and go for the portable RCA black and white TV, for your kitchen table or boat, maybe.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
I turned it in and got a travel checkers set, but all the pieces looked like tiny candies, so I ate them.
I turned it in and got a travel checkers set, but all the pieces looked like tiny candies, so I ate them.
sncether
+1 -0
I can understand that. I probably would have stopped after the first one or two red ones, but good on you for keeping at it.
However, there's no excuse for eating the black ones. They clearly have all the hallmarks of black licorice (if you ignore that they're made of plastic and came with a tiny checker board) and there's no reason to put tooth to that, even experimentally.
I can understand that. I probably would have stopped after the first one or two red ones, but good on you for keeping at it.
However, there's no excuse for eating the black ones. They clearly have all the hallmarks of black licorice (if you ignore that they're made of plastic and came with a tiny checker board) and there's no reason to put tooth to that, even experimentally.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was going to say that it's an interesting theory, but they have entirely different last names (Cornelius Bear, and Teodor Orezscu) and Teodor is of Eastern European/Jewish origin. So barring an extremely convoluted story arc that explains all these things, not bloody likely.
Besides, they appear to be different kinds of bear.
I was going to say that it's an interesting theory, but they have entirely different last names (Cornelius Bear, and Teodor Orezscu) and Teodor is of Eastern European/Jewish origin. So barring an extremely convoluted story arc that explains all these things, not bloody likely.
Besides, they appear to be different kinds of bear.
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
E-e-e-every rose has it's thorn
Just like every cowboy
sings a sad, sad song.
E-e-e-every rose has it's thorn
Just like every cowboy
sings a sad, sad song.
tekende
+1 -0
And every night has its dawn, but not every Assetbar post has an apparent reasoning behind it.
And every night has its dawn, but not every Assetbar post has an apparent reasoning behind it.
hypoluxa
+0 -0
Something I love about Cornelius is that he is capable of making me actually go look up the meaning of certain words.
Something I love about Cornelius is that he is capable of making me actually go look up the meaning of certain words.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
"Smells like Sean Connery's neck at a wedding."
What does that mean? No, seriously, what could that possibly mean in any culture or language?
"Smells like Sean Connery's neck at a wedding."
What does that mean? No, seriously, what could that possibly mean in any culture or language?
As opposed to Sean Connery's neck at a funeral, which has an altogether more oak-ish finish to it.
I would imagine that Sean Connery's neck at his own funeral probably would not have the most pleasant of scents.
Nothing could stink worse than "League of Extrodinary Gentlemen", something else which Cornelius, as an astute Englishman, would have held great disdain for.
A comment left by tipist was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcowgill, c_dizzle, Dallovich)
It was an awesome comic book, though.
They are also making Watchmen into a film. It is probably a pretty bad "idea".
Maybe. I dunno. From pictures I've seen and stuff I've read, it looks like it might actually be done justice. But we'll see.
There is the slight possibility that this could all be completely wonderful.
I'm not sure there's any way to do Watchmen justice in movie form. One of Watchmen's main deals is the fragmenting of time and perspective, and I just don't know how they're going to handle that in a movie unless they make it all postmodern-y, which wouldn't draw an audience.
Which is not to say I won't go see it on opening day.
This is my chief worry as well.
If they don't do the awesome Manhattan-Mars scene justice, well, it's just not going to be worth it.
So long as they don't fuck around with the ending. I'f had fucking enough of films fucking around with the fucking ending. And in terms of endings, I can only imagine that for directors it's a very tempting ending to fucking fuck around with.
Fuckin' A.
They have now openly stated that they are indeed fucking around with the ending.
Shit.
I'm from the future! I have terrible news.
Actually, I think like, a lot lot lot more people die in the movie then in the book. WHUH-OH SPOILERS!
My biggest problem with it so far is how young and sleek everyone looks. For me it's already read like a band going through a midlife crisis and trying to regroup.
Rorschach is the unsuccessful solo artist slaving away in obscurity in the same old style.
Ozymandias is the Robbie Williams figure.
Nite Owl's the bassist who left for a lucrative job in a bank. Who still goes to his basement to rock out.
Silk Spectre II is the former roadie/dancer whose feeling slightly ashamed of her time with the band. Though she still loves that bassist.
Manhattan is the record company and the real power behind the band. Though now he's moved on and doesn't even want to know.
I meant always. You know that. Shut up!
Oh my god you're all living in the past!
And the film was amazing, with a BETTER ending than the comic book.
(Yeah, I said it!)
UPDATE: Wrong. It sucked.
Frick, I'm out of lames. The ending was not better than the comic. The movie really kinda sucked.
they're also supposedly making an HBO series of Preacher...here's praying it doesnt blow
Reading this post just now was the first I heard of this, literally just in time to find out that while they were making one, they won't be anymore.
There Ain't No Justice
Turns out it was okay!
Meh. It could've been worse.
Things could be way, way fucking worse.
Johnsense.
Zardoz is State of the Art 70's rubbish as only Boorman could manage (see the hallucinogenic bits of the Exorcist II for more details). Even Ken Russell wouldn't have dared make Zardoz. TLOEG is just boring studio robo-rape.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen makes Zardoz look like From Russia With Love.
On the other hand, Zardoz makes Sean Connery look like Burt Reynolds.
Burt Reynolds never made an entire movie in nothing but a red leather jockstrap.
Thank God.
Yeah, he saved that outfit for after work.
Indeed. Who else would make a movie which is basically about Sean Connery being the only man still able to sport wood in the future.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say Spike Lee.
Shit Zardoz is real? i saw that film really late one night on "Zonethriller" after getting back from a night out, so i wasn't sure if it was just a hallucination....
but if only it were imaginary.
Outland, on the other hand is satisfying in many ways
Sterrpike66, I did not understand one word of that. Carry on.
I would chubby you for the Sparks Icon, but lo, I am out of chubbies.
And I would chubby you, for the Buffy icon from one of the best episodes ever. In fact, I think I just might.
Chubby converted.
My favorite bad movie! "The penis is the enemy because it shoots life. The gun is our friend because it shoots death!" Bubba, you just can't BUY dialog like that nowadays. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, imagine that Ed Wood got $10 million dollars, all of Ireland, Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, a bevy of topless starlets and unlimited acid and weed. THAT's Zardoz. Oh, baby, the train wreck of train wrecks.
The gun is good! The penis is evil! The penis shoots seed!
I can't wait to "slip that in" to a DJ set sometime. ZARDOZ 4 EVER.
You could make a whole thing just from sampled dialog from Zardoz. It's basically all crazy talk.
"I won't go to second-level with you."
"Learning through touch-osmosis."
"What is it?"
"Purpose?"
"NON-ESSENTIAL!"
my god this thread is an industrial song waiting to happen.
an industrial concept-album.
... THIS THREAD!
The system is down! The system is down!
They're taking over!
I'm pretty sure I've seen Zed playing pop-infused lounge piano music at the Red Lion in Silverlake. Wednesdays. Check it. Also try the Optimator.
A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, lucidz, LordHumungus, _cheesekayke, BrokeAccount, SpinyNorman, andrewthepig, cathaoir, usversusthem, SPECTRE)
It has been so much worse. So very much worse.
Prepare to be lamed!
Thank you for the warning, Pogo. I prefer the comments that I read to be interesting and pertinent.
You're welcome, although I thought I could get the warning in a lot earlier in the discussion. Oh well, my lame count was lacking.
Maybe so, but it was nice to be reminded of one of my few high school dating experiences: Zardoz, freshly released, in the theater, very baked. Sigh.
Sean Connery in a casket says:
"most thingsh in here don't react too well to bulletsh".
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Damn you assetbar.