doctorother
+1 -0
This was not Todd's day.
This was not Todd's day.
cryptfiend85
+20 -2
Todd gets the trickiest riddle because he's horrible
Todd gets the trickiest riddle because he's horrible
huber
+2 -1
TODD - We need a Todd t-shirt
this strip is also ace
TODD - We need a Todd t-shirt
this strip is also ace
serf
+1 -0
his "the miracle" shirt would be fucking incredible
his "the miracle" shirt would be fucking incredible
catachresis
+9 -2
Note: Ray is staring at his own genitals as he passes out of Hell.
Note: Ray is staring at his own genitals as he passes out of Hell.
stevesperd
+0 -0
A comment left by stevesperd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by trollcollins, madnes, symbolsoup, riotdejaneiro, tttt, wittyname, scrumpton, HeyMan, rascaldom, jollysaintpete, Conn, milkpants, Judy, atticusonline, Cracklewater, Art-Vader, Vee, CanusDivinus, Wulvaine, weemer, dropkickpikachu, Zoe, AmonRunsAmok, stormagnet, Dainbramage, Footbullet)
A comment left by stevesperd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by trollcollins, madnes, symbolsoup, riotdejaneiro, tttt, wittyname, scrumpton, HeyMan, rascaldom, jollysaintpete, Conn, milkpants, Judy, atticusonline, Cracklewater, Art-Vader, Vee, CanusDivinus, Wulvaine, weemer, dropkickpikachu, Zoe, AmonRunsAmok, stormagnet, Dainbramage, Footbullet)
epicurus
+4 -1
I thought so as well. But as the alt-text tells you, you are in second place, because you have not passed the person in first. If you pass the person who is in a given position, then at that moment you are in the position they were in before you passed them.
I thought so as well. But as the alt-text tells you, you are in second place, because you have not passed the person in first. If you pass the person who is in a given position, then at that moment you are in the position they were in before you passed them.
aaron_haynes
+3 -0
I, too, didn't realize this for a while, until the most recent time I read through the archives, actually.
I, too, didn't realize this for a while, until the most recent time I read through the archives, actually.
trollcollins
+4 -0
"If you are running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?" is a good riddle to ask drunk friends. They almost always give Todd's answer.
"If you are running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?" is a good riddle to ask drunk friends. They almost always give Todd's answer.
killerlimpet
+5 -0
Also the Monty Hall Problem. Except that always winds up with my nose bleeding. Never mind.
Also the Monty Hall Problem. Except that always winds up with my nose bleeding. Never mind.
rowboat
+0 -0
If I had to answer that riddle quickly, I would still be in hell.
If I had to answer that riddle quickly, I would still be in hell.
heyman
+6 -0
complete with exclaiming "How frikken easy is THAT?"
complete with exclaiming "How frikken easy is THAT?"
hyetal
+0 -0
My first time through the archives, I didn't realize I was wrong until this strip. Aaaaargh. Usually I'm so good at these things!
My first time through the archives, I didn't realize I was wrong until this strip. Aaaaargh. Usually I'm so good at these things!
evolume
+21 -1
also, todd is a squirrel, and unless he is in a multi-species race, he is just a squirrel passing humans and getting NO CREDIT FOR IS ACCOMPLISHMENTS BECAUSE HE IS A DIRTY DRUNK SQUIRREL.
also, todd is a squirrel, and unless he is in a multi-species race, he is just a squirrel passing humans and getting NO CREDIT FOR IS ACCOMPLISHMENTS BECAUSE HE IS A DIRTY DRUNK SQUIRREL.
dracer2
+1 -0
Have you ever tried to catch a squirrel? They're frikkin' fast.
Have you ever tried to catch a squirrel? They're frikkin' fast.
featurelessvoid
+63 -0
No way, you're in first place. You were in first place already, and then you lapped the person in second place, and now you're still in first place but in an even more awesome way.
No way, you're in first place. You were in first place already, and then you lapped the person in second place, and now you're still in first place but in an even more awesome way.
dropkickpikachu
+6 -0
I like your style.
I like your style.
belgand
+3 -0
I prefer the cut of his jib.
I prefer the cut of his jib.
anzio
+0 -0
Chubby for Venture Bros. quote.
Chubby for Venture Bros. quote.
belgand
+1 -0
I appreciate the chubby, but it is in no way a quote of that most magnificent of televisual programmes. It's quite a bit older than that.
I appreciate the chubby, but it is in no way a quote of that most magnificent of televisual programmes. It's quite a bit older than that.
anzio
+0 -0
What is that from then?
What is that from then?
belgand
+0 -0
It's just an expression. It comes from naval tradition back in the era of sail and is well over a hundred years old.
It's just an expression. It comes from naval tradition back in the era of sail and is well over a hundred years old.
anzio
+0 -0
Ah, well very good then.
Ah, well very good then.
soticoto
+0 -0
I thought it was a reference to Animal Crossing...
I thought it was a reference to Animal Crossing...
anzio
+0 -0
We have all been deceived.
We have all been deceived.
soticoto
+0 -0
I do hope in the Venture Brothers at least, that it was used in a maritime context.
I do hope in the Venture Brothers at least, that it was used in a maritime context.
belgand
+0 -0
Surprisingly, no. It was stated by Mr. Doe in reference to Brock in "The Lepidopterists".
Surprisingly, no. It was stated by Mr. Doe in reference to Brock in "The Lepidopterists".
anzio
+0 -0
Oh what the balls? I made that comment and assetbar failed to post it, 'cept in mine I couldn't remember that lepidopterists names, but I could remember the term by which they were entitle. Delightful.
Oh what the balls? I made that comment and assetbar failed to post it, 'cept in mine I couldn't remember that lepidopterists names, but I could remember the term by which they were entitle. Delightful.
djwhiterabbit
+2 -0
i'm afraid that you will be staying in hell.
i'm afraid that you will be staying in hell.
peterjoel
+13 -0
I pretty much consider stevesperd, epicurus and aaron_haynes to be intellectually equivalent to a coked up squirrel at this point
I pretty much consider stevesperd, epicurus and aaron_haynes to be intellectually equivalent to a coked up squirrel at this point
deusoma
+12 -0
Nicely done. The Car of Pain just became a Carpool.
Nicely done. The Car of Pain just became a Carpool.
solobuttons
+0 -0
hoooly shit
hoooly shit
red_dawn
+2 -0
Am I the only one who feels Ray's riddle is harder then Todd's?
Am I the only one who feels Ray's riddle is harder then Todd's?
gormster
+1 -0
yeah - what the hell? How the fuck are you supposed to know how much most rocks weigh?
yeah - what the hell? How the fuck are you supposed to know how much most rocks weigh?
hyetal
+34 -0
It's not a specific question like that. I mean, asking what's two plus two isn't a riddle. The point is that rocks are not important to Ray. Who cares how much they weigh? They're all probably around a pound. Whatever, they're just rocks.
The answer wasn't a number, it was an attitude. Ray got it right because the correct answer was NOT to think about it, calculate averages, et cetera. The answer was to not care because, hey, they're just rocks.
It's not a specific question like that. I mean, asking what's two plus two isn't a riddle. The point is that rocks are not important to Ray. Who cares how much they weigh? They're all probably around a pound. Whatever, they're just rocks.
The answer wasn't a number, it was an attitude. Ray got it right because the correct answer was NOT to think about it, calculate averages, et cetera. The answer was to not care because, hey, they're just rocks.
epicurus
+17 -0
Ray's is WAY harder, I think; first of all, you don't want the average, you want the most common value - and then, what counts as a rock? Do asteroids, mountains, etc. count? Rocks on all planets in the universe? Do grains of sand count?
But of course Ray would never think like that and, as usual, simply stumbles (with great self-assurance) onto what is apparently the correct answer.
Ray's is WAY harder, I think; first of all, you don't want the average, you want the most common value - and then, what counts as a rock? Do asteroids, mountains, etc. count? Rocks on all planets in the universe? Do grains of sand count?
But of course Ray would never think like that and, as usual, simply stumbles (with great self-assurance) onto what is apparently the correct answer.
dovey
+2 -0
Exactly. Typical Ray, stumbling ass-backwards into good luck.
Exactly. Typical Ray, stumbling ass-backwards into good luck.
belgand
+4 -0
Well, that and most things tend to weigh about a pound.
Well, that and most things tend to weigh about a pound.
centipede_damascus
+0 -1
Todd has been in both Heaven and Hell. Hell is considerably harder to get out of.
Todd has been in both Heaven and Hell. Hell is considerably harder to get out of.
closefriend
+0 -0
You can tell Todd's confused because his eye is the @-symbol.
You can tell Todd's confused because his eye is the @-symbol.
tttt
+0 -0
he's crossing his eyes
he's crossing his eyes
afkpuz
+0 -0
I am actually of the opinion that Ray's question was the most difficult.
I am actually of the opinion that Ray's question was the most difficult.
mr_lostman28
+4 -1
Apparently hell has a pretty lenient grading curve. I mean everyone who goes in this restroom is probably drunk... so saying something like "roughly 14 ounces" is not an expected answer. "About a pound" or "We talking little pebbles or like boulders here man?" are both aceptable answers.
Apparently hell has a pretty lenient grading curve. I mean everyone who goes in this restroom is probably drunk... so saying something like "roughly 14 ounces" is not an expected answer. "About a pound" or "We talking little pebbles or like boulders here man?" are both aceptable answers.
mr_lostman28
+12 -0
I was about to get all uppity at whoever lamed me here. But when I went to check who it was, it reads
"this comment was marked lame by Jesus "
... holy crap!
I was about to get all uppity at whoever lamed me here. But when I went to check who it was, it reads
"this comment was marked lame by Jesus "
... holy crap!
nessotron
+35 -0
Wait ... isn't it a stone?
Wait ... isn't it a stone?
spinynorman
+6 -0
This side of the Atlantic is going to totally miss that one.
This side of the Atlantic is going to totally miss that one.
erinye
+3 -0
We are pretty dumb!
We are pretty dumb!
epicurus
+6 -0
I had sex with my sister!
I had sex with my sister!
tekende
+3 -0
Me too!
Oh, and tell your sister I lost her number but I'll e-mail her soon, okay?
Me too!
Oh, and tell your sister I lost her number but I'll e-mail her soon, okay?
epicurus
+16 -0
Joke's on you, that was me in a wig!
Joke's on you, that was me in a wig!
tekende
+8 -0
Oh, spatchcock.
Oh, spatchcock.
charchar
+6 -0
Your swear made milk come out my nose. Also, whatever happened to that hot little number in the wig? She was nice.
Your swear made milk come out my nose. Also, whatever happened to that hot little number in the wig? She was nice.
cagliostro
+1 -0
This is my favourite exchange of Assetbar repartee so far: crisp, neat, and hilarious. Greater things may await me ahead, I do not know. For the time being, however, chubbies for all!
This is my favourite exchange of Assetbar repartee so far: crisp, neat, and hilarious. Greater things may await me ahead, I do not know. For the time being, however, chubbies for all!
dropkickpikachu
+2 -0
What is it about you English types that just leads your speech straight into just wonderful puns without even trying?
What is it about you English types that just leads your speech straight into just wonderful puns without even trying?
spinynorman
+1 -0
It's the crumpets, jam, and trousers.
Man, we need to adopt the word "trousers." It's hilarious.
It's the crumpets, jam, and trousers.
Man, we need to adopt the word "trousers." It's hilarious.
heccibiggs
+1 -0
Fuckoff, "pants" is the most ridiculous word ever. Pants? How can you EVER say it with a straight face?
(Oh by the way, no malice is meant with this.)
Fuckoff, "pants" is the most ridiculous word ever. Pants? How can you EVER say it with a straight face?
(Oh by the way, no malice is meant with this.)
spinynorman
+0 -0
I can say pants pretty easy with a straight face. Though in some scenarios it CAN be funny, depending on the enthusiasm with which it's said.
Anyways, here's the point in time when I unabashedly pimp my avatar and link you to this sketch in which the use of the word trousers will floor you.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hHQ2756cyD8
I can say pants pretty easy with a straight face. Though in some scenarios it CAN be funny, depending on the enthusiasm with which it's said.
Anyways, here's the point in time when I unabashedly pimp my avatar and link you to this sketch in which the use of the word trousers will floor you.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=hHQ2756cyD8
mercuri0us
+1 -1
"AWWW yeah! Who wants to go to high school...IN MY PANTS!"
"AWWW yeah! Who wants to go to high school...IN MY PANTS!"
relaxing
+0 -0
PANTALONES!
PANTALONES!
lawbot
+0 -0
Try saying it in a fake American redneck accent. Hours of fun.
Try saying it in a fake American redneck accent. Hours of fun.
relaxing
+0 -0
pieyance
pieyance
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
The definitive answer that YES, "pants" is the most ridiculous word ever. Bonus: geeky MIDI device, geeky internet superstar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZZxuiaG23Y
(pants!)
The definitive answer that YES, "pants" is the most ridiculous word ever. Bonus: geeky MIDI device, geeky internet superstar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZZxuiaG23Y
(pants!)
stormagnet
+1 -0
Well Played! Clearly, Hell will need a much harder riddle for you sir.
Well Played! Clearly, Hell will need a much harder riddle for you sir.
smacko
+10 -1
t-t--t-tt-todd is the best. I am a make a wish child and my last wish is for Todd to do cocaine at me
t-t--t-tt-todd is the best. I am a make a wish child and my last wish is for Todd to do cocaine at me
dasilodavi
+1 -0
I believe the question asked is indicative of how you live your life and how worthy you are of coming back. Roast Beef can return to life if he is honest with himself (also, this is probably a mild ribbing for him offing himself). Ray is a good man, he is given a personal free pass. Todd, well, he's going to have to hang in hell for a bit, until he wises up.
I believe the question asked is indicative of how you live your life and how worthy you are of coming back. Roast Beef can return to life if he is honest with himself (also, this is probably a mild ribbing for him offing himself). Ray is a good man, he is given a personal free pass. Todd, well, he's going to have to hang in hell for a bit, until he wises up.
cousinted
+1 -0
Why can't we have eternal life?
And never die?
And never die?
Thank you, I'll be here all week
Why can't we have eternal life?
And never die?
And never die?
Thank you, I'll be here all week
nagsworth
+0 -0
A comment left by nagsworth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, slickshoes3234, Semiquaver)
A comment left by nagsworth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, slickshoes3234, Semiquaver)
epicurus
+3 -0
I'm pretty suire that actually that isn't the sort of thing that's "hip" around here.
And the last word in Beef's is "Bob Sagett".
I'm pretty suire that actually that isn't the sort of thing that's "hip" around here.
And the last word in Beef's is "Bob Sagett".
puguglypress
+0 -0
No man should have to discuss his own Bob Sagett with strangers.
No man should have to discuss his own Bob Sagett with strangers.
beansdooma
+0 -0
is todd's eye an @ ?
is todd's eye an @ ?
sheriff_mittens
+0 -0
That $5.99 Burger Basket just keeps looking more and more appealing.
That $5.99 Burger Basket just keeps looking more and more appealing.
tbtabby
+1 -0
Swirly-eyed Todd looks like the Mausland Entertainment logo.
Swirly-eyed Todd looks like the Mausland Entertainment logo.
rykan
+0 -0
I love how Ray's thong is still around his ankles.
I love how Ray's thong is still around his ankles.
drskradley
+0 -0
Todd is still in Hell. I forget how he gets out. As of the time of this posting, however, his head is a sploded, so his fate is showing itself to consistently be a bit fluid.
Todd is still in Hell. I forget how he gets out. As of the time of this posting, however, his head is a sploded, so his fate is showing itself to consistently be a bit fluid.
Who hasn't?
Oh... you know.
A comment left by untilyouaresonude was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, kylank, peterjoel)
"Scruffy's gonna die how he lived..."
(licks finger, turns page)
"I need a new haircut. This one's lost its pizazz."
I never told anyone! Even Scruffy!
*Scruffy glares, then sulks away*
"'Course, it's shank or be shanked."
"..you can make sangria in the terlit.."
See, I would have gone for the entire quote, there but I've never been entirely sure what he says that you can make in the terlet. So thank you.
you all get chubbies and now i'm going to watch futurama.
Are you saying that YOU have?
I do it every time I play a solo on the Devil's Clarinet.