zem
+12 -0
Oh, Showbiz. I know you.
Oh, Showbiz. I know you.
professorhazard
+3 -0
I know that sound he has made with his mouth full of gum. I know it goes with a haughty point of the finger.
I know that sound he has made with his mouth full of gum. I know it goes with a haughty point of the finger.
deovalente
+10 -0
That's Showbiz. I know him.
I know Showbiz.
That's Showbiz. I know him.
I know Showbiz.
gunsofray
+3 -0
Deovalente Gets Slightly Stoned
Deovalente Gets Slightly Stoned
riazm
+67 -1
A cat places an entire pack of gum into his mouth and grasps his genitals through his shorts. This Is Achewood
A cat places an entire pack of gum into his mouth and grasps his genitals through his shorts. This Is Achewood
deusoma
+1 -0
Something tells me that one lame was from someone who thought this was a This is Sparta reference.
Something tells me that one lame was from someone who thought this was a This is Sparta reference.
riazm
+0 -0
I shouldn't have capitalised the Is really, but I think the "This is Achewood" line predates 300 (I have not seen 300)
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005
I shouldn't have capitalised the Is really, but I think the "This is Achewood" line predates 300 (I have not seen 300)
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=10192005
epicurus
+0 -0
A comment left by epicurus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brynito, chagment, ohmygooses)
A comment left by epicurus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by brynito, chagment, ohmygooses)
woof
+4 -1
alt text: This is the customary greeting of the N'dxchu tribesmen of Brazil.
alt text: This is the customary greeting of the N'dxchu tribesmen of Brazil.
tellumo
+7 -0
I was always confused as to exactly what part of the strip constituted the greeting. The nuts-grabbing from panel 4? The "hang loose" sign from panel 5? The pointing and "HNNYAH!"ing from panel 6? Some combination of the three? Or is it something else entirely?
Perhaps I just don't know enough about Brazil.
I was always confused as to exactly what part of the strip constituted the greeting. The nuts-grabbing from panel 4? The "hang loose" sign from panel 5? The pointing and "HNNYAH!"ing from panel 6? Some combination of the three? Or is it something else entirely?
Perhaps I just don't know enough about Brazil.
ford
+19 -1
All of them, in order. Meeting your n'dxchu girlfriend's family is an all-day affair.
All of them, in order. Meeting your n'dxchu girlfriend's family is an all-day affair.
ferdinand
+4 -0
you tell it, bill hicks.
you tell it, bill hicks.
mcwee
+1 -0
The rating can be no lower than 5 any time a cat grabs his junk through his pants.
The rating can be no lower than 5 any time a cat grabs his junk through his pants.
lateadopter
+5 -0
What rating do you give when another cat grabs a cat's junk through his pants ?
No, I am not Retardo.
What rating do you give when another cat grabs a cat's junk through his pants ?
No, I am not Retardo.
mcwee
+2 -0
Holy Moses! That gets a PILE of fives! I'm opening new accts right now just to five that strip up.
Holy Moses! That gets a PILE of fives! I'm opening new accts right now just to five that strip up.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Ah yes. My first strip. Instantly hooked for life. Worse than crack.
Ah yes. My first strip. Instantly hooked for life. Worse than crack.
hollis
+1 -0
Why does he feel the need to *shake* it though?
Why does he feel the need to *shake* it though?
closefriend
+14 -1
It's difficult to explain to someone who has neither testosterone nor dangly parts.
It's difficult to explain to someone who has neither testosterone nor dangly parts.
spinynorman
+6 -0
Women's naughty parts are all inside. Men have to deal with "the dangle factor." Everything we got is just out there exposed and swinging free. In order to make up for this vulnerability we assume masculine positions of bravado as though we don't care or are invulnerable.
Women's naughty parts are all inside. Men have to deal with "the dangle factor." Everything we got is just out there exposed and swinging free. In order to make up for this vulnerability we assume masculine positions of bravado as though we don't care or are invulnerable.
apocowarg
+14 -0
If I ever meet a woman whose boobies are inside I'm going to be a very sad panda.
If I ever meet a woman whose boobies are inside I'm going to be a very sad panda.
soticoto
+3 -0
Precisely.
Showbiz is shaking his nads for the same reason some women shake their boobs: Because they have them, and want people to think they are immune to pain.
Precisely.
Showbiz is shaking his nads for the same reason some women shake their boobs: Because they have them, and want people to think they are immune to pain.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
amen, dude.
amen, dude.
howl
+0 -0
Women have testosterone, just not as much as men.
Women have testosterone, just not as much as men.
boredom_man
+1 -0
And testosterone is the hormone almost exclusively responsible for sex drive in men and women, which was part of the justification when the Western scientific community was pretending that men have higher sex drives than women (I ain't know why that ain't in fact true, ask Cornelius, I forget).
So the next time you hear some woman referring to her estrogen levels as a way of saying she's horny, look down your nose and correct her with repressed-yet-visible passion.
And testosterone is the hormone almost exclusively responsible for sex drive in men and women, which was part of the justification when the Western scientific community was pretending that men have higher sex drives than women (I ain't know why that ain't in fact true, ask Cornelius, I forget).
So the next time you hear some woman referring to her estrogen levels as a way of saying she's horny, look down your nose and correct her with repressed-yet-visible passion.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
"...which was part of the justification when the Western scientific community was pretending that men have higher sex drives than women..."
Dang, so, that's not true? I used to use that as an excuse on my ex all the time.
(Disclaimer: I'm not some frigid chick and I do enjoy getting mad rutty - I would enjoy it even more lately as I haven't gotten any in like seven months - but he would just take it so personally if I wasn't in the mood. Ugh, what a dick.)
"...which was part of the justification when the Western scientific community was pretending that men have higher sex drives than women..."
Dang, so, that's not true? I used to use that as an excuse on my ex all the time.
(Disclaimer: I'm not some frigid chick and I do enjoy getting mad rutty - I would enjoy it even more lately as I haven't gotten any in like seven months - but he would just take it so personally if I wasn't in the mood. Ugh, what a dick.)
apocowarg
+5 -0
When a man gets all offended that his sexual overture is rejected it reminds me of a toddler being denied a toy purchase. Pouting is something a grown man should never do.
When a man gets all offended that his sexual overture is rejected it reminds me of a toddler being denied a toy purchase. Pouting is something a grown man should never do.
boredom_man
+29 -0
I really hope you're pulling my leg, but in case you're not, and really don't know this stuff...
Accepting that we are working with broad generalizations, the age spread in which human males have stronger sex drives than human females is approximately thirty months long. For the rest of a biologically sexual life (by which I mean beginning at puberty), the female has a stronger sex drive (and typically goes through puberty some 18-24 months younger [and lives longer, just to be rude]). The thirty months in which a male has a stronger sex drive than the female happens to be the age, for a wealth of factors, at which he is largely physically incapable of controlling his orgasm. Fortunately, there are approximately one gadzillion books which advise young straight males on techniques by which one can compensate for the unfortunate atavism of premature ejaculation, allowing him to spend long enough in pre-coital stimulation to exhaust himself, and a wide variety of exciting images which will assist him in self-stimulation, should he need to achieve orgasm without a partner. These techniques will continue to serve him for the rest of his life, when he attempts to sexually please females with far, far greater sex drives than his own. Of course, his penis will eventually stop responding to traditional sexual stimulation, but there are pharmaceuticals which can assist with this unfortunate phenomenon.
The human female's sexual organs, on the other hand, basically never stop responding to stimulation, although they eventually reduce self-lubricating. Some sixty years ago, the Great Men of Medical Science discovered that frigidity in females is almost nonexistent. Rather, a statistically significant minority of human clitorises are unusually removed from the vaginal wall, requiring manual stimulation for the female to orgasm. (You can test for this condition in your own home.) Most so-called cases of psychological were complete misdiagnoses, simply due to this unusual placement of tissue. While there are some females who are too nervous to achieve orgasm in the company of the gender to which they are attracted, almost all of them can achieve orgasm in private. For the very few exceptions, most of whom were the victims of pretty extreme childhood sexual trauma, there are counselors available in every major Western city, not to mention a wide variety of legal and illegal pharmaceuticals. Such counselors often find these women to find the term "preorgasmic" more conducive to sexual arousal than "frigid."
And I find it absolutely infuriating that you haven't been taught these things, and instead are learning them from some random Yank on the Internet; I would much prefer that you're kidding and I sound like an asshole. But it sounds like your ex-boyfriend didn't know them, either, and you should be as angry with his educators, not to mention yours. (That doesn't change the fact that you had to dump him, of course, but extremely rapid biological change without proper education invariably causes psychosis, and every male over twenty-one knows this firsthand.)
I really hope you're pulling my leg, but in case you're not, and really don't know this stuff...
Accepting that we are working with broad generalizations, the age spread in which human males have stronger sex drives than human females is approximately thirty months long. For the rest of a biologically sexual life (by which I mean beginning at puberty), the female has a stronger sex drive (and typically goes through puberty some 18-24 months younger [and lives longer, just to be rude]). The thirty months in which a male has a stronger sex drive than the female happens to be the age, for a wealth of factors, at which he is largely physically incapable of controlling his orgasm. Fortunately, there are approximately one gadzillion books which advise young straight males on techniques by which one can compensate for the unfortunate atavism of premature ejaculation, allowing him to spend long enough in pre-coital stimulation to exhaust himself, and a wide variety of exciting images which will assist him in self-stimulation, should he need to achieve orgasm without a partner. These techniques will continue to serve him for the rest of his life, when he attempts to sexually please females with far, far greater sex drives than his own. Of course, his penis will eventually stop responding to traditional sexual stimulation, but there are pharmaceuticals which can assist with this unfortunate phenomenon.
The human female's sexual organs, on the other hand, basically never stop responding to stimulation, although they eventually reduce self-lubricating. Some sixty years ago, the Great Men of Medical Science discovered that frigidity in females is almost nonexistent. Rather, a statistically significant minority of human clitorises are unusually removed from the vaginal wall, requiring manual stimulation for the female to orgasm. (You can test for this condition in your own home.) Most so-called cases of psychological were complete misdiagnoses, simply due to this unusual placement of tissue. While there are some females who are too nervous to achieve orgasm in the company of the gender to which they are attracted, almost all of them can achieve orgasm in private. For the very few exceptions, most of whom were the victims of pretty extreme childhood sexual trauma, there are counselors available in every major Western city, not to mention a wide variety of legal and illegal pharmaceuticals. Such counselors often find these women to find the term "preorgasmic" more conducive to sexual arousal than "frigid."
And I find it absolutely infuriating that you haven't been taught these things, and instead are learning them from some random Yank on the Internet; I would much prefer that you're kidding and I sound like an asshole. But it sounds like your ex-boyfriend didn't know them, either, and you should be as angry with his educators, not to mention yours. (That doesn't change the fact that you had to dump him, of course, but extremely rapid biological change without proper education invariably causes psychosis, and every male over twenty-one knows this firsthand.)
heccibiggs
+3 -0
Sadly, I wasn't joking. I mean, some of what you just said sounds kind of familiar - the fact that women have a longer sexual peak than men, or something (I think I heard than men reach their sexual peak at 17, and women in their thirties, but I could be making this up). And, I know that there's no such thing as being "frigid" - I was using that term in a relative amount of jest.
I'd just like to make a disclaimer that I'm not dumb - I've always been clever and it's only my severe laziness and lack of drive that's stopped me from getting As in school all the time. But, I don't know, I guess they just never teach this stuff. Probably deemed inappropriate.
But you'd think they should make this information sort of more widely known. I mean, so many people are so insecure and messed up about sex, not just as teenagers but like throughout there lives. If information about it was sort of more readily available and seemed less obscure than having to get out weird books from the library or searching on the internet with the risk of coming across something you don't want to find, it would take away some of the negative mystique, maybe.
Eh, sorry, babbling. Cheers for being informative.
Sadly, I wasn't joking. I mean, some of what you just said sounds kind of familiar - the fact that women have a longer sexual peak than men, or something (I think I heard than men reach their sexual peak at 17, and women in their thirties, but I could be making this up). And, I know that there's no such thing as being "frigid" - I was using that term in a relative amount of jest.
I'd just like to make a disclaimer that I'm not dumb - I've always been clever and it's only my severe laziness and lack of drive that's stopped me from getting As in school all the time. But, I don't know, I guess they just never teach this stuff. Probably deemed inappropriate.
But you'd think they should make this information sort of more widely known. I mean, so many people are so insecure and messed up about sex, not just as teenagers but like throughout there lives. If information about it was sort of more readily available and seemed less obscure than having to get out weird books from the library or searching on the internet with the risk of coming across something you don't want to find, it would take away some of the negative mystique, maybe.
Eh, sorry, babbling. Cheers for being informative.
boredom_man
+1 -0
Ain't meant to call you dumb, and ain't meant to call you mean for using the term frigid. I (would have) graduated from high school a few years before Columbine, so I had about the most liberal education anyone's ever had from a public school. I knew that they stopped teaching about sex in the U.S. since (give any conservative a way to condemn violence, and they'll use it to condemn sex instead), I just had no idea the situation had gotten equally bad in the U.K., so don't mind me if I took a Robert Fripp tone.
You might enjoy Savage Love, which appears on-line at The Stranger and The Onion AV Club, for a relatively uncreepy browsing experience.
Ain't meant to call you dumb, and ain't meant to call you mean for using the term frigid. I (would have) graduated from high school a few years before Columbine, so I had about the most liberal education anyone's ever had from a public school. I knew that they stopped teaching about sex in the U.S. since (give any conservative a way to condemn violence, and they'll use it to condemn sex instead), I just had no idea the situation had gotten equally bad in the U.K., so don't mind me if I took a Robert Fripp tone.
You might enjoy Savage Love, which appears on-line at The Stranger and The Onion AV Club, for a relatively uncreepy browsing experience.
dartigen
+0 -0
Also people seem to think that if you tell kids about sex they will all turn into gang-rapists/mega-sluts.
(Funny how statistics show the exact opposite of this. Human behaviour will never make sense to me.)
Also people seem to think that if you tell kids about sex they will all turn into gang-rapists/mega-sluts.
(Funny how statistics show the exact opposite of this. Human behaviour will never make sense to me.)
heccibiggs
+0 -0
My favourite part of this whole thing is the bit where I talk about how smart I am and then mix up "there" and "their".
NOOOOOOOOOO
My favourite part of this whole thing is the bit where I talk about how smart I am and then mix up "there" and "their".
NOOOOOOOOOO
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You had such delusions of smarture.
You had such delusions of smarture.
mr_lostman28
+1 -0
... wow. I figured, hey I think I'll mosey over to Acheworld for some chuckles and then bam. Somebody lays some learning on me. This was possibly the most informative post I've seen on Acheworld.
(granted much of this was known before thanks to high school sex-ed, but never really brought home till presented by some random yank on the internet)
... wow. I figured, hey I think I'll mosey over to Acheworld for some chuckles and then bam. Somebody lays some learning on me. This was possibly the most informative post I've seen on Acheworld.
(granted much of this was known before thanks to high school sex-ed, but never really brought home till presented by some random yank on the internet)
selbencoirlo
+0 -0
This post will probably never have as many chubbies as it deserves.
This post will probably never have as many chubbies as it deserves.
howl
+0 -0
I did my part.
I did my part.
jonmw
+0 -0
Fun fact: If you breed a mouse that produces no oestrogen (sp?), it also has no sex drive!
Fun fact: If you breed a mouse that produces no oestrogen (sp?), it also has no sex drive!
aperson
+0 -0
Auto-fluffing to 'impress' Molly?
Auto-fluffing to 'impress' Molly?
joeyramoney
+2 -0
there is a lady in his company.
there is a lady in his company.
shmuckeles
+1 -0
what's he holding there, a potato?
also, i love that line of molly's about the bus... genius!
what's he holding there, a potato?
also, i love that line of molly's about the bus... genius!
peterjoel
+1 -0
Showbiz is pretty well hung for a cat
Showbiz is pretty well hung for a cat
deancain29
+0 -0
'Biz you freakin deadbeat
'Biz you freakin deadbeat
overmedicated
+4 -0
Guess who does this to all their friends.
Me
Guess who does this to all their friends.
Me
soticoto
+2 -0
Not everything Chris demonstrates in Achewood is something you should mimic. Some things are actually suggestions that you should NOT mimic them.
That said I used to stuff whole packets of gum in my mouth years before this strip ever showed up. I used to mix chewing gum packs AND bubble gum packs together to make super-strong bubbles.
Not everything Chris demonstrates in Achewood is something you should mimic. Some things are actually suggestions that you should NOT mimic them.
That said I used to stuff whole packets of gum in my mouth years before this strip ever showed up. I used to mix chewing gum packs AND bubble gum packs together to make super-strong bubbles.
norrin
+1 -0
I like how Molly isn't so much bothered or offended as she is confused.
I like how Molly isn't so much bothered or offended as she is confused.
professorhazard
+4 -0
She had many brothers growing up.
She had many brothers growing up.
gethen
+1 -0
molly is practical, sensible, and easygoing. beef is one lucky cat.
molly is practical, sensible, and easygoing. beef is one lucky cat.
mjfitzge
+2 -0
is this the first time molly meets showbiz? at first i was confused as to why she wishes she had changed (my only thought being she wanted to change into something that covered her as much as possible because showbiz is a perv) - but then i realized that maybe she didn't know about how showbiz is a low life, and actually wanted to look nice...
is this the first time molly meets showbiz? at first i was confused as to why she wishes she had changed (my only thought being she wanted to change into something that covered her as much as possible because showbiz is a perv) - but then i realized that maybe she didn't know about how showbiz is a low life, and actually wanted to look nice...
tragicone
+0 -0
Molly's face in the the last panel kills me. It is sort of a blank stair that seems to speak the phrase, "...what?"
Molly's face in the the last panel kills me. It is sort of a blank stair that seems to speak the phrase, "...what?"
selbencoirlo
+1 -0
I fell down the blank stairs once.
Left a mark.
I fell down the blank stairs once.
Left a mark.
xiaomimi
+17 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: Thanksgiving wishes to all my chochachos.
Philippe: Franky is being grumpy.
Today's Blogs
Ray: Thanksgiving wishes to all my chochachos.
Philippe: Franky is being grumpy.
direhaggis
+2 -0
Dude is sporting hella orange chubby in panel 4 what all looks fruit. I half-expect panel 9 is Showbiz reaching to take out the gum with his right hand and something Spinal Tap dropping out.
Dude is sporting hella orange chubby in panel 4 what all looks fruit. I half-expect panel 9 is Showbiz reaching to take out the gum with his right hand and something Spinal Tap dropping out.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
I am not sure what your comment means and I gave it a chubby out of confusion.
I am not sure what your comment means and I gave it a chubby out of confusion.
gopacapulco
+0 -0
spinal tap has big chubbies!
spinal tap has big chubbies!
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
In the movie "This is Spinal Tap," one of the characters is setting off a metal detector in an airport. After getting rid of all his extraneous metal items, and getting searched with one of those metal-detecting wands (which indicates something around his groin setting it off), he reluctantly removes a cucumber, I believe, wrapped in foil, which he had been using as a visual aid:
looked like his member was quite enhanced
lo, in his tight little rock star pants
He becomes embarrased.
what did i just type?
In the movie "This is Spinal Tap," one of the characters is setting off a metal detector in an airport. After getting rid of all his extraneous metal items, and getting searched with one of those metal-detecting wands (which indicates something around his groin setting it off), he reluctantly removes a cucumber, I believe, wrapped in foil, which he had been using as a visual aid:
looked like his member was quite enhanced
lo, in his tight little rock star pants
He becomes embarrased.
what did i just type?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
test.! t
test.
I love this strip because it showcases the characters so perfectly: Molly's awesome, Beef is awesome, and 'Biz is a fucking lowlife.
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Spoon, cryztal, Vondicus, 7th_shot, TonyHighwind, baabaa, subtlet, trisha, rascaldom, Private_Public, Endquote, slysa, LordPretzel, Lumus, aHatOfPig, regrepsnefpoh, ravindra108, AidenS123, kestral)
A comment left by i_love_kate was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Metanoia, gopacapulco, vilenin, boswelljn, Satyr)
and you just called someone out about their comments on a computer !!!!
(I'm not really replying to this comment, but rather, this thread.) I find that people on Assetbar are pretty harsh and quick to lame people who have offended them in the past. I don't feel like Soticoto deserved to be lamed so hard for this comment (or at all really) and I think it happened because people are pre-judging based on previous comments of his that they didn't like. The same thing happens with Asherdan all the time too. It's kind of snotty...it's like there's a clique on this board or something.
I think I would pretty much lame anyone at any time for directly copying comments made by someone else, actually. Don't leap to judgments.
Someone is wrong....
on the Internet!
No different to people saying 'Ray Smuckles: He Gets Things Done ' ad infinitum.
I'd still say that line is a step up from any variation of "from circumstances"
There are people here who let that one drop with the frequency of a religious mantra
I'm trying to figure out what that avatar is from.
Looks like Kirby with a soldier hat firing a machine gun in the air to me.
If kirby can't have a machinegun, i wonder what may happen to civilisation
from circumstances.
fr-ohm circumstances.
Also people discussing how badass Cornelius is for winning the Badass Games, or talking about Ray's dad the way people used to talk about Chuck Norris because he won The Fight thirty-odd years ago.
Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
Nonsense!
Also, the dude has got No Mercy .
Who has No Mercy?
It was my line.
Glad you think it was clever.
I figured I'd try to make a thing of it for a while.