snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

envika +0 -0
A comment left by envika was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by the_voice, gardenhead_, Audhumla)

dangelder +35 -2
He has proven the cartoon correct.

king_duncan +0 -0
A comment left by king_duncan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by the_voice, Marcus_Brody, thisistheworst)

explodingbat +0 -0
A comment left by explodingbat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by the_voice, Overmedicated, Thorfinn, scrumpton, Troy_Convers, miseryandthesun)

boredom_man +2 -2
But I do want to travel with her, and I want to travel blind.

boredom_man +0 -0
A comment left by boredom_man was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by the_voice, Thorfinn, Ariamaki, Nighend, atticusonline, michellemarie)

miseryandthesun +0 -0
A comment left by miseryandthesun was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hypercube, atticusonline, shambles, PohlHoud, unsentletter)

terrainasaur +1 -0
oh my god! a fellow albiniforum wanker!

johnnyc +0 -0
There are thousands.

explodingbat +0 -0
i was just trying to be helpful, no need to shout!

boredom_man +1 -0
Hi Explodingbat,

You can see who lamed you just by setting the page to hide all messages with one or more lame. It's a bad thing to get into, but in this case, I suspected you lamed me for suggesting I might want to read Snick's comments (he is on my ignore list now, and my ignores are collapsed). I was of course correct, and therefore made fun of you, because that was incredibly silly, and not an attempt to be helpful. I hope this is useful information to you when you bag hell of chicks.

foetus_punch +1 -0
He's just baggin' chicks left right and center. It sounds like bangin' chicks, only with a cold.

saint +2 -0
...but in the end they do not like him.

king_duncan +0 -0
I have done so. Thank you.

songbirdspectre +4 -0
codswallop: a delightful british paste, generally spread on soldiers, a delightful british name for cut-up toast.

explodingbat +0 -0
A comment left by explodingbat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Thorfinn, oozienelson, aHatOfPig, Dwilow, LRosetw8)

heccibiggs +2 -0
I think this may be the wrong comic for you, dogg.

explodingbat +0 -0
Fair enough

farqussus +0 -0
You are not helping your cause.

I REALLY didn't mean to chubby you either.

explodingbat +1 -0
sorry

achilleselbow +5 -0
I really couldn't read this outburst in any voice other than that of a delightfully exasperated Hugh Grant, with mocking pronounced as "mawking". And as you throw your top hat down onto the ground and stomp upon it, you lose your monocle.

breadcrab +0 -0
Okay, this has been bothering me for the past seven hours. How else do you pronounce it?

achilleselbow +0 -0
It's more like an "ah" sound I think.

numberkillinger +1 -0
mahking? ...man, americans are crazy.

thegoodwillgirl +0 -0
For the record, not only am I American, but I'm from BOSTON, and I don't pronounce it "mahking." That's more like how the word "marking" would sound, from a Bostonian at least. I'm for sure pronouncing "mocking" with an "aw" sound.

Also, I'd like to nominate myself for the unnecessary overuse of quotation marks award.

nice-on-water +0 -0
In my first comment ever here (yay), I would like to say that as an American and New Yorker, I say mahking, because if I said it like mawking, it would sound like Robert DeNiro describing some kind of exotic bird's call.

i_love_kate +8 -0
That's weird, I just say "mocking".

thegoodwillgirl +0 -1
Oh, well don't I feel sheepish. See, I thought we were talking [i]phonetically.[i]

Thanks for clearing that up.

thegoodwillgirl +0 -0
son of a ...

...that's what I get for being self-righteous.

i_love_kate +0 -0
Yeah, I was too. I pronounce the "o" in mocking as though it were "ock".

gmm +2 -0
Some of us do. Me, for one. Keep mocking us! We kinda deserve it.

chachibenji +0 -0
How delightful.

little_angry_plum +0 -0
A comment left by little_angry_plum was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Norsef, the_voice, Thorfinn, GMM, SpinyNorman, Fcannon, dzieger, kenyot, NumberKillinger, Comrade_Tom)

explodingbat +0 -2
no we just hate lame jokes about clit mice

ishuta +0 -2
i guess you're a mac user, then?

explodingbat +0 -0
No linux but yeah same difference.

numberkillinger +1 -0
"random" =/= funny

heccibiggs +3 -0
Thank you. If there's anything I can't stand, it's "random humour".

CHEESE LOL

i_love_kate +0 -0
Don't forget penguins, lol.

tekende +6 -0
DO PENGUINS HAVE CLITS

I LOOOOVE CLITS

i_love_kate +0 -0
Crude, but amusing. Cra-musing!

quazifuji +0 -0
This comment is less random with Hecci's current avatar.

quazifuji +0 -0
I just realized that avatar's not a penguin. Oops.

kaithekender +0 -0
wait, what?

assetbar_admin +31 -1
Say friends, the "ignore user" feature now has a new option, "collapse ignores." Go to My Profile >> Ignore List, click the check box labeled "collapse ignores," and we will collapse all the comments left by offensive users you have chosen to ignore into one tiny, summary turd at the bottom of the comments list. Cheers, AssetbarAdmin

lexsenthur +2 -0
snicks contribution to the world: making assetbar a better place.

lexsenthur +0 -0
snicks contribution to the world: making assetbar a better place.

lexsenthur +18 -0
while mine is to gallivant about like the basest of fools. >:\

daidai +1 -0
Don't worry, your avatar makes it seem as though the double post had a purpose.

the_voice +5 -0
If you are the basest of anything, you are the basest of geniuses.

I am the bassist for Iron Maiden.

achilleselbow +1 -0
Steve Harris you are not! Take that back right now, or I'll make you run to the hills and die with your boots on! Oh, the evil that men do...

overmedicated +0 -0
You are the greatest admin in the world, and i wish to kiss your arse so much I can clean the inside of your hat.

Summary turd. Heh.

lateadopter +0 -0
Absolutely agreed, but now envika's comment is pretty funny, now that it's sitting up there looking like the first post and all.

envika +0 -0
yeah, i kinda feel like a dick now, all stealing "first" honors without actually being the first one to post

hbaranov +0 -0
This of course raises the question, who is enough of an ass to ignore everyone else so they have the dubious honour of being 'first'.

Is 'first' now an irrelevant and outmoded concept?

/discuss!

pogo +0 -0
More important by far that being first is having something good to say. I will lame any first-poster who is a poser like Asherdan.

summary_turd +1 -0
What's all this then?

explodingbat +0 -0
Thankyou for the excellent advice!

Do you know if there is any way to delete (or at least edit) comments? I'm new here and though this board claims to support BBCode it doesn't actually seem to.

professorhazard +5 -0
Now all we need to be able to do is:

- edit our own comments
- delete our own comments
- fix Chubby or Lame mistake-clicks
- clean out Inbox

aaand probably a few other things.

the_voice +2 -0
You are just cold saying the things I'm afraid to say. It's raw.

heccibiggs +0 -0
Ahh yeah, my inbox is getting ridiculous. All having to search through 60-odd pages of comments to find like three new ones. And I imagine I'm relatively low on the comment receiving.

chachibenji +0 -0
Aw but the ability to delete or edit our own posts would just make formerly amusing conversations very often unamusing, I see it being used more often for saving face of the self rather than fixing a bbcode error.
The inbox thing however is just a swell idea, ranking with the good things in life.

rowboat +1 -0
I am in complete agreement with chachibenji. Mistakes - the eternal shrines to your own fuck-ups and the fuck-ups of others - are some of the most interesting things that can happen here. There's also the fact that BBcode is ridiculously easy to use and if you take three fucking seconds to look over what you've done it shouldn't really matter anyway. Knowing that you have to be right the first time makes you sharper. Or you just fuck up and it's hilarious.

But yeah - the inbox situation has got to be seen to.

ford +0 -0
I dunno about deletion, i think if you post something you should have maybe 2 minutes to edit/delete it, but if you could go back like a day later and change a post that started a thread it would be ten colors of confusing.

mortshire +0 -0
Bless you, sir.

spinynorman +10 -0
I know better than to tangle with what you got chained round your wrist, asset bar. I seen it, on odd forays against its chainlink webbery, I seen its eyes staring out at me, all glass-brown and wet-mud flat. I seen when you and that boy from Wekaugah done tangoed under the splayed shadows of the east railway, and I seen who tipped that poor boys feet into the membrane-covered dockways. I know which ways the voices of the wind speak, even if they gots no words.

I know we aints pals, Mr Bar, but I aint dumb enough to call us foes, cause I dread that day I wakes up ankle-deep in blood and blackdream and knows it was my own doing.

i_love_kate +0 -0
Hey, Spinynorman, I bought Moab is my Washpot. I thought you shold be the first to know.

Also, "blackdream?"

spinynorman +0 -0
It made a lot more sense when I wrote it drunk.

i_love_kate +0 -0
I'll assume you're talking about the book.

spinynorman +0 -0
Nope, I meant "blackdream."

The book is pretty funny, especially when he goes off on his musical inabilities. And when he talks about his genitals at age fourteen by saying "a dick about the size of a salted snail."

i_love_kate +0 -0
Damnit, man. You're going to ruin it for me. I'm still halfway through Look to Windward, The Master and Margerita and The God Delusion.

koodge +1 -0
it's tough to earn an "ignore user" only about five minutes after the comic was posted, but snick managed it with me. what a dick.

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

pogo +0 -0
Ha ha, he is ignoring you so your comment is moot.

lexsenthur +9 -0
man snicks, why you even got to wallop a cod?

jadus +4 -0
Snick is basically a person who is alone in life.

audhumla +6 -0
if loving clits is wrong then lock me up and throw away the key

spinynorman +30 -0
Oh goddamn it, not this stupid horseshit again.

You are the WORST old female I have ever met, and goddamn it, you better know that I met a HELL of a lot of them back when I was an orderly at the old folks home! And I was the BEST DAMN ORDERLY you ever saw, and I orderlied the HELL out of those old broads, and I'll be GOD DAMNED if I'm going to put up with this kinda shit from an old lady whose HIPS are practically made of GOD DAMNED SAND.

maximus +0 -0
OK, so how is a man supposed to collect zingers and such without the internet?

maximus +164 -0
[IMGS OFF]

straw +1 -0
Holy shit, dude.

dangelder +3 -0
Chubbied beyond priapism.

maximus +0 -0
Don't worry - I am seeking medical help.

in the meantime, practicing scales on my trumpet.

nikopol +0 -0
The future is now. Shrovis-Bishopthorpe.

sneeeeeeeeeeeze +0 -2
lame

noah_j +0 -0
crafty cuckoldry?

boredom_man +1 -0
When I say chubbied, I mean geriophelia.

daidai +0 -0
A comment left by daidai was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, GMM, peterjoel)

cromar +0 -1
jjeves thou dost speek oot of jest. rest ye and marnimble thy spoilage. For jigiityy boog for sooth and whatnot...

blastradius +0 -0
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by zaratustra, mailbean, Landstander88, waldo913, greatwhite, smugairle, aHatOfPig, Bobatt, psykeres, Audhumla, almightygosh, Chachibenji)

overmedicated +1 -1
For ever and ever, amen.

hbaranov +0 -0
I read it. But then again, as overmedicated will tell you, I am a mindless person, combined with a bowl of rotting Spam.

overmedicated +0 -0
SHUT UP SIMON JUST SHUT UP

YOU ONLY READ IT FOR THE FAT ONE'S TITTYHOOHAAS

peterjoel +0 -0
Their genders are so poorly conveyed.

However, it almost makes up for that by giving all the (presumably) female characters wonderfully perky little tits.

jadus +0 -0
all i know is i read a few because of prank day on xkcd and it was horrible :|

lacrimus +0 -0
I take it that you don't like Questionable Content.

paperypip +0 -0
Did anything in particular prompt this little essay?

manifestdestiny +0 -0
Possibly it is that the Character on QC (there is only one, multiplied ad nauseam) was recently shown to be wearing a shirt reading "It is never a good day," much like a favorite Achewood shirt. But I'd also like to know the inspiration for the rant.

davey-boy +0 -0
A little late in the game, but I think it was spurned from the alt-text, which gave an idea for a crappy t-shirt.

morypcaina +0 -0
The guy who runs that site also releases a webcomic called "Indie Tits" (or similar) starring titmouses/titmice that listen to independent-label releases.

numberkillinger +1 -0
ok. why are you telling us this?

maximus +3 -0
Resolved: The humorous website questionablecontent.net is neither Holy nor Roman.
For the affirmative...

dejavroom +1 -0
chubby for the gladiator mask. it is an awesome mask.

girdag +6 -1
Aw, I still kinda like QC. I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop myself from reading each new strip. He gets the odd laugh, and while I don't care TOO much about the over-DRAMA plotlines, the odd fun one comes up (I did rather enjoy the gym-based excursions recently). Plus, the guy who writes it seems like a nice guy, as well, which helps.

It's better than Ctrl-Alt-Del, at least.

Incidentally, Scary Go Round is currently top of my favourite comics, for being packed with casual whimsy and general happiness. If anyone isn't reading it, go now, and enjoy!

chrissketch +0 -0
Dammit, how do I always end up completely forgetting about Scary Go Round?! That does it. Bookmarking that now.

chrissketch +0 -1
Dammit, how do I always end up completely forgetting about Scary Go Round?! That does it. Bookmarking that now.

maximus +0 -0
Now that Perry Bible Fellowship is gone, my webcomic world is a little poorer.

girdag +0 -0
It's not actually gone, just updating on a random schedule less frequently.

professorhazard +1 -0
That is to say, it is now officially sporadically updating, as opposed to accidentally doing so.

almightygosh +0 -1
Actually Gruewhich retired recently.

miku224 +8 -0
You are likely to be eaten by a gruewhich.

numberkillinger +0 -0
I am a fan of lucid tv

gmm +0 -0
And so you should be.

tekende +0 -0
I am going to have to read this comic. It looks entertaining.

iseedeadpixels +0 -0
Lucid TV is now in my favourites folder, thank you . It's not often I find something on this internet that I like but in the interest of spreading the love here are two things that are in the same vein.
https://www.scarybear.org/
Hyper Death Babies
Hyper Death Babies is pretty OK. Scarybear is probably the best of those two, he it no longer updates though. Oh shit, and I forgot this...
Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life This guys don't update that much either.

overmedicated +0 -0
I'm fairly sure only me, you and Mighty Joe Bivins read HDB.

iseedeadpixels +0 -0
Heh, yeah it's pretty obscure. The only reason I found it was when (s)he was a guest artist/writer on whispered apologies.

iseedeadpixels +0 -0
Oh dear jesus, how could I forget maakies???
https://www.maakies.com/frames/index.html

autrepoupee +0 -0
...so did anybody like Pupkin?

phy +0 -0
I can't consistently enjoy Scary Go Round. It's got too much whimsy. I want to take The Englishman by the lapels and shake him a little and say "LET UP ON THE WHIMSY, MAN, IT'S TOO MUCH. TOO SPECIAL."

On the other hand, a roll of fresh toilet paper is more entertaining than Ctrl-Alt-Del.

i_love_kate +0 -0
That sounds like what I've got going on with Dominic Deegan. It's not good, and damnit I know that, but I just can't seem to put enough reasons together to quit reading it, which I am now just doing out of habit.

But yeah, Scary Go Round is superb. Also, Octopus Pie.

loneal +0 -0
Those are two of my favorites. Also: Buttercup Festival and Cat and Girl. I think those four plus Achewood are my top five. It is important to know which five things you like best in any given category. High Fidelity told me so.

achilleselbow +0 -0
This is not one of the popular ones, but I find Pictures for Sad Children to be possessed of a certain whimsy.

tekende +0 -0
I LOVE Pictures for Sad Children. John Campbell is a god.

achilleselbow +0 -0
Tekende, you are rad.

loneal +0 -0
I am also a fan of Pictures for Sad Children. I am even its StumbleUpon discoverer. Fun fact!

achilleselbow +0 -0
You are rad as well.

brokeaccount +0 -0
Well it looked crap, but I started reading it and it's actually hilarious. Thanks for the recommendation, internet people .

doc_rostov +0 -0
Oh man, guys! I've been Livejournal-friends with Campbell for quite some time, and while Pictures for Sad Children is fantastic, if you really want some serious chuckles you should take some time and read through his blog archives . He posts commissioned/long project comic works there, and they're even more amusing than his webcomic! Here are some of my favorite examples.

How cheese is made.
Fifty answers to fifty questions.
Advertising new shirts at PFSC ( Part I | Part II )
The History of Art
Emily is a Pirate.

If you enjoy laughs, you should probably check it out!

doc_rostov +1 -0
Holy shit. I didn't screw up the BBCode? Hoorah! This is an Accomplishment.

miku224 +1 -0
Assetbar: The only place on the internet where you see follow-up posts saying "oh fuck I screwed up" and follow-up posts saying "whoa I didn't screw up!"

tekende +0 -0
What about "Stevie Might Be a Bear Maybe?" That was a masterpiece. I would link to it, but I really don't feel like going to find it right now.

Also his 24-hour comic was stupendous as well. I think it was called "The Man Who Knew Everything," but I could be wrong.

doc_rostov +0 -0
Stevie was great, yeah. It's usually what I link people to when I want to get them started on Campbell; dunno why I forgot about it. Here's the link for all interested parties. As for the 24 hour comic, I liked it, though I think his out-of-the-blue stuff is better. It's one of the reasons I have his blog on my usual rotation of websites but I don't have PFSC there. As good as it is, it's nowhere near as funny as his oft-forgotten blog drawings.

There's a sort of primal hilarity that can be tapped simply by answering questions with silly answers or pulling some idea out of the blue, and Campbell's humor comes from the fact that he can make use of that extraordinarily well. Though, when it comes to unprovoked but hilarious one-shots, I'd say Nedroid can tap that a bit better than Campbell. Have you ever read his "200 bad comics"? If not, read them. Laughs are imminent!

farqussus +0 -0
I find his effort to be a failure, as many of them weren't bad at all.

tekende +0 -0
John Campbell just posted a 12-hour comic yesterday that is pretty great. Vegas Dump.

achilleselbow +0 -0
I think this was my favorite, for personal reasons.

iseedeadpixels +0 -0
I am so happy people here know about Pictures for Sad Children, I love it so very much.

gmm +1 -0
Hey Girdag. I did not expect to see you here.

Other Things That Are Better than Ctrl-Alt-Del: Being shot in the shoulder, most wars, most diseases, Hugh Jackman.

girdag +0 -0
I would guess you're Feet, from ze avatar, right? Josh from t'Tales is around here somewhere as well. It's a small world.

gmm +0 -0
No, guess again.

chrissketch +7 -0
I read it. I'll continue to read it until I no longer obtain enjoyment from it. I do not disagree with any of the above. Its a soap opera and I'm okay with that. I think its unfair to compare and contrast QC and Achewood. They're two completely different literary works linked only in the fact that both authors choose to utilize pictures and words simultaneously. By your reasoning, one could justify reviling Ultimate Spiderman by comparing it to Acme Novelty Library. They were never meant to compete with each other, and the only reason you think they are is that they both happen to be comics.

chivalress +3 -1
But chrissketch, Questionable Content is silly! It is silly to like Questionable Content!

chivalress +0 -0
A comment left by chivalress was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Hootonium, HSE, Johnnyrocker)

chivalress +5 -2
oh, lame me. Lame me to HELL.

explodingbat +0 -0
The way you seem to have noticed your mistake, apologised, and then made the same mistake again earn you a chubby.

I may just be a sucker.

sortelli +0 -0
I just can't lame you for hating QC.

boredom_man +0 -0
Also Buffy the Chivalress is the best avatar/name combination ever.

i_love_kate +0 -0
That's happened a lot today. Odd.

chivalress +0 -0
But chrissketch, Questionable Content is silly! It is silly to like Questionable Content!

lacrimus +9 -0
What I've never understood is how it suddenly got cool to rip on QC. I mean, the dude is just doing his thing and if you don't like it, you don't have to look at it.
And furthermore, just to sass everyone on the internet because I can, I think it makes you a dick, a massive, throbbing dick, to go around and get all hoity-toity on a webcomic that was not even brought up in the first place. And then to do it to garner chubbies, little bits of acceptability, is even lamer.
So to you, chrissketch, I give a chubby. A little bit of internet that you can enjoy and look at, and you can enjoy it because you found the courage to enjoy something on a message board that dudes in underwear thought to call bad.

odei +4 -1
Quote:

and suddenly other races started to appear, sans culture of course

I find your belief that race implies a certain culture a bit odd, to say the least.

achilleselbow +0 -0
Shit, I'm now a 'frequent poster'. I really need to do something better with my life. Ah well, chubby for the well-thought out post and the honorable mention.

I got yelled at last time for ripping on QC too much, but since I'm not the one who brought it up now... I might not have hated QC as much were I still stuck at my preppy, fratty, middle-of-nowhere undergrad school. But when I finally got my wish by going to grad school in NYC and moving to Williamsburg, I developed a hatred of hipsters that rivaled, if not surpassed my previous discontent, and this development coincided with my gradual reading of the comic. Eventually I came to realize that the people around here are shallow, vapid people with shallow, vapid lives and shallow, vapid relationships, all of which is made worse by the fact that they pretend to be otherwise while simultaneously denying this pretense. And the characters in QC are merely super-compressed, poorly written reflections of this fact. That is all.

loneal +0 -0
I went to a party in Greenpoint the other night, and I know what you mean. Jesus Christ. I even wore skinny jeans and a tweed newsies cap to try to fit in, and I could still just feel everyone staring at me, thinking how uncool I was.

numberkillinger +0 -0
wearing skinny jeans in order to fit in is uncool.

loneal +0 -0
Man, I am just visiting New York and trying to emulate the local customs. It's like how you're not supposed to wear shorts when touring European churches or whatever. Turns out Californian skinny jeans don't have nearly enough spandex to be mistaken for real skinny jeans by anyone but the least dedicated of hipsters, anyway. It is a mistake I won't be making again the next time I try to get the cool kids to like me.

farqussus +2 -0
If you'd just walked three blocks in any direction, you'd have found local customs either more to your liking or out of date by the time you get there.

iidebaser +2 -0
I'm not sure why the hell you posted this rant, and I sort of feel like it should get lamed for sheer contextual inappropriateness , but QC just happens to make me want to puke. for many of the reasons you mentioned, even. I tried to like it, too! read the whole archive, kept up with it for maybe 6 months. but QC has a special mixture of smugness and obliviousness that makes me want to punch people.

so chubby for saying what I'm all thinking , but there has got to be a better place to post essays like this.

quantumcasaba +0 -0
I, too, tried to like it for awhile. Aside from a few of the throwaway jokes that were moderately chuckle-worthy, I can't remember for the life of me why I actually found it worth keeping up with for so long. It's... really not that funny.

almightygosh +0 -0
....NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS!
Get him men!

epicurus +0 -0
So it is in Heaven, and upon the Earth below.

woodenteeth +1 -0
Here to paradise they go, brighter made is their woe, as above, so below.

farqussus +1 -0
that really was apropo of nothing, blastradius. Accurate or valid as it may be.

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

circumstances +1 -0
Part of me believes Snick is doing this to support the concept of locked internet as shown in the comic; the other part of me believes he is being an ass for assholery's sake. I am conflicted.

nikopol +0 -0
Would it matter either way? If it's A), and he's supporting the locked internet concept, then by laming and spam-marking him into oblivion, we're supporting a noble cause, and if it's B) he's just a dick, who in the hell cares, trash his ass like a used condom. In this case, giving him what he wants means not having to hear from him again. I see no fundamental conflict.

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

afkpuz +18 -0
I really like the idea of turning a key to start the internet.

Letting it idle for a few seconds to warm up on a cold day.

The internet all purring away as you enter google and shift into first.

ishbario +3 -0
Till it shuts down gotta get out and push and your girl is angry because your too broke to get a new internet.

professorhazard +3 -0
There is a subtle irony in that the first thing Cornelius sees on his new computer is tits.

missbee +0 -0
Indeed. Though it was only one tit...

spinynorman +3 -0
Sometimes one is enough.

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

such_as_a_hat +0 -1
hell ain't that the truth they actually had me ask my landlord to write them a letter saying that it's ok to install an internet line in my place

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

envika +0 -2
ahaha titmouse is so perfectly british

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

afkpuz +7 -0
ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

billypooter +0 -0
A comment left by billypooter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, BilliousBill, Thorfinn, HSE, snoozebar, LexSenthur)

retinarow +2 -0
you're not helping.

billypooter +0 -0
A comment left by billypooter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by BilliousBill, Thorfinn, HSE, snoozebar, aHatOfPig, NumberKillinger)

overmedicated +9 -0
FUCK OFF THIS ISN'T GAIA

numberkillinger +2 -0
I don't know what that means, but you told him to fuck off, which is a good thing.

maximus +0 -0
How come we can't see inside Bill's neck when his face is turned away from us, all dangling bones and arteries?

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

envika +1 -2
YOU'RE THE REAL THING, ASSHOLE!

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

retinarow +1 -0
Renting a car in England involves a full colonoscopy.

lexsenthur +17 -0
snick is the leader is proving why the able chaps at Shrovis-Bishopthorpe have installed a lock on the internet, primarily in the general level of buggery but also with the total lack of any documentation, hasty or otherwise.

professorhazard +0 -0
I want him to die, ten times.

ethelthefrog +0 -0
He is a she, if she is to be believed, and apparently has some serious anti-social behavior issues, probably stemming from a troubled childhood. She did not get enough hugs. That's my guess, at least.

professorhazard +0 -1
"Old female" is the standard starting point for all Acheworld accounts. It just means he's too stupid to edit his profile.

earendil +2 -0
NO GIRLS ON INTERNETS

dwodles +0 -0
Gravel says it best

catgrl131 +1 -0
Then what am I hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

ford +0 -0
My theory is that snicks is an alter-ego of another poster, likely one that posts many things, all the time. I derive this from the fact that every single one of his/her posts is a reviled piece of spam, and even douchebags have occasional postable thoughts

achilleselbow +0 -0
I was pretty sure that it was poing, actually.

thorfinn +0 -0
snick = socks, same grammar/diction/all caps bullshit, same endless strings of nonsense, same avatar, may also be poing, but further research is necessary.

farqussus +1 -0
further research REALLY ISN'T NECESSARY

professorhazard +1 -0
"Old female" is the standard starting point for all Acheworld accounts. It just means he's too stupid to edit his profile.

professorhazard +0 -0
"Old female" is the standard starting point for all Acheworld accounts. It just means he's too stupid to edit his profile.

professorhazard +4 -0
YEAHHH NOW WHO'S STUPID

UP TOP

achilleselbow +1 -0
This seems to be happening with quite a few posts today. Did snicks break assetbar?

cpnglxynchos +0 -0
i can totally believe this reasoning.

daidai +0 -0
Assetbar is just stupid in general.

Snick isn't helping, but Assetbar probably would have fucked up anyway.

cpnglxynchos +14 -0
some have seen this picture before, but it is important to make my feelings about "old females' clear:

[IMGS OFF]

cpnglxynchos +0 -0
now, why i didn't use quotation marks to close that, i'll never know.

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

jadus +0 -0
Shrovis-Bishopthorpe sounds like a decidedly anti-technology technology company.

quantumcasaba +0 -0
For today's computer consumer's on-the-go lifestyle, we've no time for brand names that exceed two syllables. You're conjecture is correct- Shrovis-Bishipthorpe refuses to pander to the large demographic of laptop-toting, free-trade-coffee-guzzling sycophants on their way to class/another coffee shop/also perhaps an open mic night.

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

autrepoupee +27 -0
SNICK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU WE USED TO BE PALS
REMEMBER THE BIG ORANGE COUCH
REMEMBER KEENAN AND KEL
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

spinynorman +7 -1
When you first mentioned the big orange couch and then listed several very African-American names, the thing that came to my mind was the orange couch in the middle of the Pits, where the disturbed black youths would congregate to deal heroin in The Wire.

dezufnocosem +1 -1
If you look in the dictionary at loss of innocence this would be the perfect example. but it wouldn't be in the dictionary because its a group of words not one word. why are you being so silly!

thegoodwillgirl +0 -0
"several very African-American names" is the best phrase I have encountered today.

odei +0 -0
Fortunately our Keenan and Kel are more simple than disturbed and consume no worse than some kind of orange soda. It's a shame how little I remember of them, considering they used to be my favourite thing as a child.

heccibiggs +1 -0
WHO LOVES ORANGE SODA?

KEL LOVES ORANGE SODA!!

Man, I fucking hate Keenan and Kel.

i_love_kate +0 -0
One of the actors died. This I know to be a fact, or rumour as the case may be.

heccibiggs +0 -0
I heard that as well. Or he went to prison or something. No idea if it's true, don't care enough to research it.

loneal +0 -0
Well Keenan is on SNL now. And I saw Kel on a KFC commercial recently, which was almost like a comedy sketch in that it was basically an exaggeration of the stereotype of black people devouring fried chicken with gusto.

tekende +0 -0
I do not believe I have seen this KFC commercial. Was it pretty lame like all their other commercials are?

ortsac +0 -0
https://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/kelmitchell.asp
Yeah never happened. No word on the KFC commercial, however.

i_love_kate +0 -0
That's a really bizarre thing for someone to make up a widely-believed rumour about. Who even cares about them anymore? I mean, beyond caring enough to post it on a website.

missbee +0 -0
man, why you have to do that to an innocent children's show?
WHY.

spinynorman +0 -0
There ain't no innocents in this wide wicked world, hon.

pogo +0 -0
Interesting theory, Spine-man, as I am currently getting engrossed in The Wire, first season. But the Afro knicknames are not from The Wire, it seems to me, but maybe from some kid's show on Nick? Or maybe, In Living Color? (Keenan Ivory Wayans)

snick +0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.

neonfreon +0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, apocowarg, Thorfinn, GMM, Chachibenji, pogo)

envika +1 -0
that's delightful for you, but i must ask why...

ethelthefrog +0 -0
Did your daddy not hug you enough, snick? Is that why you're sad?

alreadyinuse +24 -1
gee this is like onfusing there are people who don't like this one person and yet because the person's posts are all not easily viewable I really don't know why they don't like that one person... maybe... maybe it is some kind of performance art... maybe it is special... like to stand in a crowded street and yell at the crowd some things about Jesus... yelling at no one in particular... just yelling to save their souls... telling it like it is... to all those sinners... this feels like high school... I think that this 'snicker' person has shown a limitation of the interface... when someone has literally hundreds of posts 'hidden' then... then... there really needs to be a page that would display all such posts, at once... granted... it looks like in this case such a page might crash certain legacy browsers with a buffer over-run...
well anyway
what is this bb code all about

oh this is my first post by the way

hi

my name is already in use

nice to meet everyone

please like me

[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]

i have some dogs
sometimes they attack me for no reason

I have always been able to have my pepperspray out in time however

daidai +0 -0
You made me laugh until I went into a coughing fit for a minute and now my throat burns.

And no, I'm not sick. But you just made my day so much better.

You deserve the shit out of the chubby I just gave you.

miku224 +0 -0
wat.

cromar +0 -0
y'all lalz me up

pogo +0 -0
Nice imitation of Phillipe, whether intentional or not.

BBcode is a way to bold , [i]italicize[/] and insert web links.

Not sure what the current shitstorm against "snick" is all about. It's certainly not typical of this place. (You aren't snick sneaking back in, are you?)

pogo +0 -0
italicize

pogo +0 -0
Insert weblinks (this is a good poetry site with mature material)

maximus +0 -0
I have him ignored and turned off so I don't know if you can even see him any more (I'm not sure why I am assuming snick is male), but snick spammed the forum with 100 blank/rude posts in the first five minutes, effectively making the thread near unreadable.

pogo +0 -0
His posts seem to have all been marked as spam, so they can't be seen anymore.

envika +0 -0
that was brilliant, but ass etbar says i have given out too many chubbies on this page. i gave out like two so i have no idea what the hell that's about.

a1readyinuse +0 -0
Hey! Sorry, ghouls and gals :) Didn't mean to start a 5 month verbal herpes outbreak.

Mea Culpa!

:o)

jadus +9 -0
Snick, your journey from this mortal coil shall be hastened by the hand of Dixie!

augeno13 +0 -0
man, what an awesome line, thanks for reminding me of it.

quantumcasaba +0 -0
Man, Charles is really cute.

xnik2600 +1 -0
snick, you are kind of like an idiot who keeps pressing the same button.

spinynorman +1 -0
Or keeps riding his bicycle into a phone pole, looped over and over again.

achilleselbow +1 -0
Or a spring-loaded wooden dog who eternally lands a nickel on his nose.

ddgoec +0 -0
or a performance artiste

divot +4 -0
We did valuable work!

heccibiggs +0 -0
Brian from Spaced!

gmm +0 -0
Someone recognising Brian from Spaced! [I'm out of chubbies or you'd both be getting one]

divot +0 -0
Brian: painter, loser. (That is hands-down my favourite episode, oh man.)

sneeeeeeeeeeeze +0 -0
american remake

brokeaccount +0 -0
You didn't have to say it, man. You didn't have to bring it up. I mean, where do you get off? Seriously. That is just pickles on parade.

divot +0 -0
Agreed. Can't we just all be happy about the region 1 DVDs finally coming out and try to be in denial about that horrible thing?

iseedeadpixels +0 -0
Do you rent downstairs?

saurkraus +0 -0
Specifically a mime artist that talks far too much

scraggg +0 -0
He thinks you tossed me into the air?

Why, I've never been so insulted in my life.

saurkraus +2 -0
And even after you lifted your skinny fists like antennas to heaven.

flazisismuss +0 -0
If I could install burnished wood dials on my computers that would serve some genuine function I totally would. However, last week I had to replace a DVD drive. I think this should take your normal tech-savvy person about a 1/2 hour. After I deliberately broke the frame of the computer in 4 places, and moved every cable and every component around at least three times, it ended up taking 3 hours and 4 crispy stellas.

I think I need to just buy a Shrovis-Bishopthorpe from now on.

d-pad +0 -0
Half an hour? For a DVD drive replacement? Surely you jest sir. I can knock that out in about 5 minutes, tops.

flazisismuss +0 -0
It's possible I installed it the wrong way, considering the amount of duct tape and wire that I used. Still it seems to be working.

tekende +1 -0
If you had to duct tape it in, yeah, you either did it horribly wrong, or your computer is too old to really use one. But hey, whatever works, yeah?

pogo +0 -0
What were you working on, a Mac?

benet +3 -0
my god, so many less comments when you "ignore user"

sirhan_duran +0 -0
"Comment left by Snick ignored" is written in unobtrusive light gray and tiny print-- but when you get That Many Comments...

maximus +0 -0
Check out the assetbar post above - quite helpful

tekende +0 -0
Snick has become the very first user for me to place on my ignore list.

Congratulations, snick.

numberkillinger +0 -0
thanks for reminding me that i have the option to ignore that guy, it was driving me slightly insane.

heccibiggs +0 -0
Yeah, me too. I don't like to ignore because usually I can glean some hollow amusement from really, really lame posts.

Not this time, however.

tekende +5 -0
The first few panels of this strip remind me of Philippe setting up Llewelyn, the I Am Capable of Wonderful Things doll.

syx +3 -0
Perhaps we can all agree, right here and now, that snick is a being of poor judgment, and be done with it forever.
Thusly allowing the rest of the comments made hereafter to be about the comic.

sevendaughters +0 -0
Does anyone else read Cornelius in the voice of Gil Chesterton from Frasier?

charchar +0 -0
A little, but not so nasal, and a bit lower. Thanks for helping me place it, bro.

brokeaccount +2 -0
Damn it that's not a titmouse, it's a great tit! Talk about your schoolboy errors.

pogo +0 -0
That's what she said.

rabbidpanda +0 -0
The bear is quite sure nobody would think to "right-click" the titmouse.
little does he know...

maximus +0 -0
I like the Tom Robbins-esque bit with the titmouse and Cornelius's trill of secret pleasure at the seemingly deep secret it holds.

sheriff_mittens +0 -0
snick = snocks, from before--the LOVE CLITS comments were one and the same. Names like snick, snocks and poing irk me in a very, very deep place, like a dentist's scraper driving its way far into my ear canal.

ethelthefrog +0 -0
Your avatar is wonderful. Thank you.

maximus +2 -0
The reassuring "click" of the dial when switching applications is a selling point (I bet you get a nice reassuring screen flicker like changing channels on an old black and and white tv), but the cheapskate in me balks at paying 50 bucks to use the internet.

rogergs +0 -0
Far cheaper than the repair bills for cricket bat damage.

peppill +1 -0
Cornelius, his confidence having been boosted by his first successful click, really did click far too hard the second time.

mytherciria +0 -0
I'm comforted by the thought of a laptop which will utilize a small bird to determine a user's capacity for remembering a strong password.

milesdonovan +0 -0
The Shrovis-Bishopthorpe brand wireless router requires that your computer be placed in a locked filing cabinet in the hall of records before you're allowed to post your WEP key to their HQ for approval.

ginamac +0 -0
A comment left by ginamac was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, Thorfinn, SchnappM, RogerGS, InspectorGadget, d3athcann0n)

mytherciria +0 -0
This computer system was posted in comments for a previous strip in this story arc.

overmedicated +0 -0
bindun.

rogergs +0 -0
A further key, and the written approval of one's spouse or guardian, is required for the privilege of frittering away one's time at electronic canasta.

proof_man +1 -0
shrovis-bishopthorpe alse makes dolls .

tekende +5 -0
GOOOOOOOOD...
TIIIIIIIIIITMOUSE!

numberkillinger +0 -0
This strip marks the "Shrovis-Bishopthorpe" arc becoming awesome. also: I live near Bishopthorpe!

hatstand_mcq +0 -0
As do I. I would suggest that we meet, but I have a pre-existing policy regarding people from the internet. I do not meet them. Still, if you have not been to the Ebor Fisheries you definitely should.

cromar +0 -0
You should meet peoplez over the internet. Some romance may ensue.

numberkillinger +2 -0
our eyes meet over the third best fish and chips availible in York. i have dreamt of this moment.

cromar +0 -1
Hey everyone's talking bout arcs and I never see none of this shit comin to arcin'... forgive the lack of apostrophes... are y'all privy to super special strips or am i missin the blog or am i just ot gettin somethin or are all yall makin a joke or are yall not makin sense?

numberkillinger +0 -0
possibly i am stretching the word "arc", there has been three and i would imagine there will be at least a couple more.

irondave +0 -0
Three is enough for an arc. Euclid proved it.

numberkillinger +0 -0
geometry is extremely awesome

cromar +0 -0
i guess it turned out you were right after all :)

brisk87 +0 -0
I'd totally buy that t-shirt.

snatch22 +0 -0
I'm thinking more like a Shrovis-Bishopthorpe shirt. Nothing says I'm a nerd like a shirt from a computer company from an online comic strip.

sidecar +0 -0
Ah, the 3-lined musical staff. Providing the simplest major triads this side of the pond!

eatmorekix +10 -0
someone above made the correct observation that the bird pictured is not a Titmouse. this is a titmouse:

[IMGS OFF]

what is pictured is indeed a Great Tit, seen here:

[IMGS OFF]

just for the edification of all. cute critters, ain't they?

eatmorekix +0 -0
it is also important to note that the Titmouse is only native to North America and thus is not a bird of the United Kingdom.

lateadopter +0 -0
Clearly "titmouse" was chosen for its comic value.

But "GRREEEAAAAT TIIIIIIT" is pretty good, too.

tekende +0 -0
Damnit, I was about to make that joke.

tekende +0 -0
Huh? Oh, whoops!

professorhazard +1 -0
Whoopsy-daisy! Sorry, everyone!

numberkillinger +0 -0
tekende thinks that double-posting merits a "whoops"

achilleselbow +1 -0
Hey everyone! Numberkillinger's gonna fight Tekende!

(wondering when this will get old)

numberkillinger +0 -0
err hey i was just makin a reference, i don't want no trouble... although i remember the last guy who "didn't want trouble" huh, ok. a fight to the death it is!
/knocks chair over.

professorhazard +0 -0
Hey man, that's my chair! What the fuck?!

achilleselbow +1 -0
Hey everyone! Professorhazard's gonna fight numberkillinger!

numberkillinger +0 -0
stealing other people's jokes will be the death of me.

quantumcasaba +0 -0
But.. you can't fight. Compromise is the essence of diplomacy, and diplomacy is the cornerstone of love , numberkillinger!

Sweeet looove.

tekende +0 -0
Where does this idea of me fighting come from? It certainly can't be based on my non-internet life; in my entire 24 and a half years of existence, I have been in only one actual fight, and I lost so spectacularly I ended up in the hospital with a concussion.

loneal +3 -0
Tekende's wife is in a coma.

spinynorman +1 -0
There are numerous type of tits in England, such as the Great Tit and the Bearded Tit, and so on.

Listen, I am hungover as balls and maybe still drunk, and I'd make a hilarious comment now, but I'm just gonna say the bearded tit would be a pretty awesome pub name

right up next to the dicky ticker

brokeaccount +0 -0
Neither are quite as good as "The Swan and Paedo".

kelissamunz +0 -2
The little crown is great--does it function as a latch lid, or is it more like a removable hood ornament?

kelissamunz +1 -2
The little crown is great--does it function as a latch lid, or is it more like a removable hood ornament?

kelissamunz +0 -2
The little crown is great--does it function as a latch lid, or is it more like a removable hood ornament?

kelissamunz +1 -1
The little crown is great--does it function as a latch lid, or is it more like a removable hood ornament?

dezufnocosem +1 -0
either you have OCD or something went wrong here

professorhazard +0 -0
The same thing is happening to me; see above. I think snick broke it.

dezufnocosem +1 -0
is he assetbar universe going to implode?... someone keep an eye on that... ima go eat a sammich

phy +0 -0
The assetbar universe can't explode, it's expanding too rapidly. At best it will suffer heat death and at worst it will rip itself apart in a paroxysm of inflation.

sneeeeeeeeeeeze +0 -0
don't say paroxysm come on

tekende +0 -0
It happened to me twice, I don't know what's going on here.

tekende +0 -0
Er, wait, no, just once.

heccibiggs +1 -0
There's some kind of irony there...

achilleselbow +1 -0
I think it's the reverse kind.

tekende +0 -0
Huh. Yeah, you're right. I...I got to go take stock.

maximus +0 -0
The first four were a little confusing, but then...

I get it, man. I get it.

missbee +0 -0
you want to know really badly, don't you kelissamunz?

kelissamunz +0 -0
Jesus crap--it's worse than I thought. Sorry everybody! I'm contributing to the massive suck today. The storms have made my internet act like it's not doing anything when it is secretly making me look foolish in front of Achewood. I'm going to go hide my shame.

daidai +0 -0
Your multi-posts so far have been well-recieved.

2 Chubs, no lames

hamscout +49 -0
I believe the crown functions as an indicator, of sorts:

[IMGS OFF]

i_love_kate +1 -0
Sadly, I believe this to be too far down the page to recieve all the chubbies it rightfully deserves. I also consider the implication that upon the perusal of lewd materials on the Envaliant III, the screen takes on a yellow-tinged border and all the fonts turn red.

i_love_kate +0 -0
And, because I'm apparently incapable of reaching the end of a sentence without losing interest...

I consider that implication a good one

numberkillinger +0 -0
Vhub

saucy_jack +0 -0
My feelings on this asset are pro.

saucy_jack +0 -0
oops.

sneeeeeeeeeeeze +0 -0
tryyyyyyyy

abt1 +2 -0
Snick just got his internet key in the mail. He should have ordered a breathalyzer ignition lock, too.

achewood +0 -0
My dick may or may not require a triple-lick.

odei +2 -0
Well my buggery is well organised, documented, and regularly updated.

edwell +1 -0
I think Connie's mistaken: the clicks on two different parts of the bird are his password; the third merely enters it.

Therefore, the software:

1) Has the user devise a visual "password" without telling him that he is doing so ,
2) Distracts him with an admonition-turned-joke, and
3) Finally informs him that the two bird areas he clicked are vital to remember in such an ambiguous way that the ultimate erudite badass misses it completely.

Programmers like these are why Albert the College-Educated Cat has a job.

d-pad +0 -0
See, I was thinking the same thing, but that computer seems like a class act. I want to believe it's nicer than that, and that it wouldn't leave it's intentions unknown.

maximus +1 -0
I hope that Cornelius is not getting some juvenile thrill from clicking the titmouse's butt in the 3rd panel - that would not be good form.

straw +0 -0
The alt-text made it a five. I'm even gonna read any comments to see if anyone has said it already!

possums +0 -0
At first I thought this cartoon was just the first eight panels. And I was very happy.

dezufnocosem +0 -0
is this all just snicks tribute for asherdan appreciation week? ya know other than him being an asshole anyway.

envika +0 -0
I should hope not, seeing that asherdan never did shit like that. Asherdan's posts were obnoxious, but there weren't so goddamn many of them in one place.

nikopol +0 -0
And Asherdan is actually AMUSING, in a discomfort-humor sort of way. Snick is just mind-gnawingly dull and predictable.

professorhazard +0 -0
Asherdan is amusing in that he is thirty-nine, and boredly trash-talking a webcomic seems to be his seminal work.

envika +0 -0
i wonder if manflesh is going to read this little series of posts here...

irondave +0 -0
Seminal is right.

nikopol +0 -0
That would be the discomforting factor, yes.

mikeleffel2 +0 -0
I'd delight in a shirt where Mr. Bear is mad at a Coke-drinking Phillipe!

homepie +0 -0
Have they perfected banning technology on Assetbar yet

professorhazard +0 -0
I'm not even bothering to ignore snick because he'll be back as snock and just as irritating.

numberkillinger +0 -0
Snick's lack of creativity with names plays right into the hands of us, the people who wish to ignore him/her.

cpnglxynchos +0 -0
also snuck, snack, slick, glick...the list goes on.

reminds me of that children's book Make Way For Ducklings where all the children are named ending in.......-ck.

hm.....

thegoodwillgirl +0 -0
It's best not to cross the titmouse.

irondave +0 -0
I am going to somehow use "Booting the Shrovis" as code for some other activity.

Something besides masturbation, though.

daidai +0 -0
Tying one's shoes works nicely.

Sounds classy

miku224 +0 -0
I was thinking something drug related, honestly.

tekende +0 -0
Applying soap to one's body in the bath

kelissamunz +0 -0
My apologies everyone--I am definitely not trying to be snick here but was unaware that the server was posting what I had written even though my internet was acting a ho. Please forgive me, Jesus.

epicurus +0 -0
I cannot five this enough. And Cornelius looks pleased at the prospect of having to mail in the 25 pounds, as though that is a fine security measure and not an inconvenience.

This type of computer has a lot going for it!

johnmatrix +0 -0
Epicurus...it's not a problem, but has there ever been ANY Achewood strip you haven't liked? Your posts often consist of praise and the declaration of rating it five. It's almost like you cut n paste the same response for every Achewood strip.

i_love_kate +0 -0
Maybe he just posts on the strips that he really likes.

tekende +0 -0
At least he didn't say he quotes many lines from this strip, yeah?

ruralelectric +0 -0
as i recall, some early tandys had a lock and key system for their modems. they knew what was up. common sense if you ask me.

benjaminpask +1 -0
Apologies in advance for what follows, for I am about to harsh on Achewood.
I wish this arc would wrap up soon - the humour, as I see it, is the same as the Tom Baker voiceovers in Little Britain, i.e. isn't Britain wonderfully quaint and old-fashioned. Which is a little bit lazy... a little bit low-minded... a little bit Mike Myers.
Now, let the laming begin!

professorhazard +0 -0
Like the art of Andy Warhol, the making of this strip gets it out of the way, doing history a favor in the long run. Better things will ensue.

miku224 +0 -0
Wow, I have never heard that opinion of Andy Warhol's work, but it makes a hell of a lot of sense. V-Chub.

achilleselbow +1 -0
IT MADE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME.

comrade_tom +0 -0
I imagine the computer would speak with David Mitchell's voice, or possibly that of Kenneth Branagh in full rhetorical flourish.

professorhazard +0 -0
John Cleese.

envika +0 -0
v-chub

ruralelectric +0 -0
WOW! this is the reason for lock and key?

ruralelectric +0 -0
THREE CHEERS FOR SNICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have taken the joke for this strip and sacrificed yourself. YAY!!! progression of comedy!!!!!!

heccibiggs +1 -0
I love the use of the verb "compute".

Note to self: Say it more often.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, y'know, just computing."

odei +0 -0
Oh yes.

"Mind if I compute for a bit?"

spinynorman +0 -0
I GONNA COMPUTE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS MOTHERFUCKER

and so on

i_love_kate +0 -0
You can't compute. You're not a computer. Only computers can compute, and likewise if you were to try so hard to compute that you succeeded you would logically be rendered a computer for your actions.

brokeaccount +0 -0
https://www.free-ringtones.ie/download_mp3tone/6095-Game_Show_Theme__Family_Fortunes-Wrong_Answer_Buzzer.mp3

heccibiggs +0 -0
I'm so happy that I followed that link and downloaded that.

i_love_kate +0 -0
On the other hand, maybe if ou were making use of a computer you would be computing in an indirect sense...

I need to think about this. This shit is deep.

brokeaccount +1 -0
Hey baby, how's about you and me get together and do some com-puting?

(There is a little hand movement that goes along with the word "com-puting" which further emphasises the splitting of the word and ends in a double finger-point and a smug grin.

Just so's you know.)

chachibenji +0 -0
Ill pute your com, boy. *crack*

cantilever +0 -0
I really should compute in a more specific fashion. I'm just all over the place in my computing, and it really bothers me! Needing a key to use the internet would definitely be a good start.

heccibiggs +0 -0
Ahh Futurama avatar! That means I can talk about the episode where they go to the planet with the Amazonians or something, who are lead by the Femputer.

That does not fempute!

Like, one of my favourite quotes ever.

neonaoneo +0 -0
Death by snu-snu

cantilever +0 -0
Then the large women again!
...is my personal favourite

oozienelson +0 -0
try saying "shrovis-bishopthorpe" three times fast.

i_love_kate +0 -0
Good call. I couldn't even make it all the way through the first.

sneeeeeeeeeeeze +0 -0
free snick

eatmorekix +1 -0
i mean, who doesn't like clits.

autrepoupee +0 -0
i heard this guy snick can't stand em

achilleselbow +2 -0
Dear lord spare me from those awful clits.

brokeaccount +0 -0
Africans

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_cutting

:(

untilyouaresonude +0 -0
I'm...ready for a new cartoon.

miku224 +0 -0
I concur.

helmstreet +0 -0
I'm really curious to see what exactly "Secondary Mode" entails.

mikeronomicon +0 -0
If ever there was a better phrase than hastily documented buggery, I have yet to hear it. Mr. Bear I tip my glass to you.

freerhi +0 -0
haha classic acky! top marks to the staddy daddy

dasilodavi +0 -0
This is one of those strips I forgot to rate my 1st and 2nd times through the archives. Nowadays when that happens I just toss it a 3 and roll on.

greenkoolayd +0 -0
heh.. he said, "tit..."

soticoto +0 -0
... Unfunny arc.
Followed by a whole deluge of unfunny comments.
My day has just become exponentially more boring.

You may now lame to your heart's content, douchebags.