cuddlefish
+37 -0
he's a squirrel. squirrels are sketchy, dodgey creatures. you ever watch one runnin' around? they all go this way, then that way. like physical stuttering. todd T squirrel just got a stutter like any other squirrel... and that's before accounting his narcotics and alcohol intake.
he's a squirrel. squirrels are sketchy, dodgey creatures. you ever watch one runnin' around? they all go this way, then that way. like physical stuttering. todd T squirrel just got a stutter like any other squirrel... and that's before accounting his narcotics and alcohol intake.
chaesar
+1 -0
Yeah definitely speed is one of them, or crystal meth, nothing makes a squirrel feel more like a squirrel then crank.
Yeah definitely speed is one of them, or crystal meth, nothing makes a squirrel feel more like a squirrel then crank.
soticoto
+21 -0
Once I chased this squirrel and it ran partway up a tree trunk, then strafed around it. I ran around the tree to try and get at it, and rather than running up the tree it just continued to strafe around it in circles... and reversed direction when I tried chasing it the other way.
I swear... Squirrels should play Counterstrike or Halo, as they would totally rock at it.
Once I chased this squirrel and it ran partway up a tree trunk, then strafed around it. I ran around the tree to try and get at it, and rather than running up the tree it just continued to strafe around it in circles... and reversed direction when I tried chasing it the other way.
I swear... Squirrels should play Counterstrike or Halo, as they would totally rock at it.
achilleselbow
+9 -0
I used to chase squirrels around the yard all the time. Then a few times it happened that I could have actually caught one (or at least touched/grabbed it momentarily) and I realized "what the hell was I planning to do with these squirrels once I caught them?"
I used to chase squirrels around the yard all the time. Then a few times it happened that I could have actually caught one (or at least touched/grabbed it momentarily) and I realized "what the hell was I planning to do with these squirrels once I caught them?"
tripleg
+0 -0
this. this is what you were planning to do once you caught them.
this. this is what you were planning to do once you caught them.
ted0phile
+1 -0
Holy Christ.
I was perfectly happy pretending that people like that don't actually exist, and then you came along.
Holy Christ.
I was perfectly happy pretending that people like that don't actually exist, and then you came along.
liquidcruelty
+0 -0
Man Justin Wilson cooked squirrel and there was NOTHING wrong with him
I remember a particular episode where he came out with a tray of squirrel heads, in fact
Man Justin Wilson cooked squirrel and there was NOTHING wrong with him
I remember a particular episode where he came out with a tray of squirrel heads, in fact
lordpretzel
+1 -0
After reading your comment, I viciously scrolled down, ready to pounce on the jackass who would undoubtedly quote The Dark Knight.
When it didn't happen, I realized how awesome AssetBar users really are.
After reading your comment, I viciously scrolled down, ready to pounce on the jackass who would undoubtedly quote The Dark Knight.
When it didn't happen, I realized how awesome AssetBar users really are.
zem
+0 -0
I can't even think which quote you were expecting
I can't even think which quote you were expecting
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
What does the Joker say he is, as opposed to a schemer?
What does the Joker say he is, as opposed to a schemer?
thescrivener
+0 -1
I had a friend do this, a couple years ago, and I got it on video. If I still had the MPEG I'd send it to Box 2110, Hollywood CA.
I had a friend do this, a couple years ago, and I got it on video. If I still had the MPEG I'd send it to Box 2110, Hollywood CA.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
VHS preferred.
VHS preferred.
mystkmanat
+2 -0
...you had your friend hit a dead squirrel with a baseball bat?
...you had your friend hit a dead squirrel with a baseball bat?
goatmasterflash
+23 -0
When I was nine years old we had to do outdoor fitness testing twice a year for gym class. I was running the 50-yard dash when a squirrel panicked and crossed my path at the exact wrong time. I had no time to react and ended up punting that squirrel at least 50 yards. It was not wearing a helmet.
When I was nine years old we had to do outdoor fitness testing twice a year for gym class. I was running the 50-yard dash when a squirrel panicked and crossed my path at the exact wrong time. I had no time to react and ended up punting that squirrel at least 50 yards. It was not wearing a helmet.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Chubby for making me go "HAH!" out loud. But now I feel cruel. But, damn if that isn't hilarious.
Chubby for making me go "HAH!" out loud. But now I feel cruel. But, damn if that isn't hilarious.
rumblefish
+10 -0
You kicked a squirrel 50 yards when you were nine? You must have been one of those gargantuan nine year olds that was raised under powerlines.
You kicked a squirrel 50 yards when you were nine? You must have been one of those gargantuan nine year olds that was raised under powerlines.
goatmasterflash
+0 -0
I don't know what to tell you. I was running the 50 yard dash, and the squirrel landed well beyond the finish line. I guess it's easier to get that kind of distance with a rodent than a pigskin?
I don't know what to tell you. I was running the 50 yard dash, and the squirrel landed well beyond the finish line. I guess it's easier to get that kind of distance with a rodent than a pigskin?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
smaller=farther.
let's kick atoms and see how far they fly.
smaller=farther.
let's kick atoms and see how far they fly.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*smaller=farther?
thus:
atom smasher, redefined.
*smaller=farther?
thus:
atom smasher, redefined.
quazifuji
+8 -0
A friend of mine was once throwing an empty spray paint can out. He walked to a dumpster, and then a squirrel suddenly jumped out of the dumpster at him. He panicked and threw the paint, which hit the squirrel and knocked it back into the dumpster.
A friend of mine was once throwing an empty spray paint can out. He walked to a dumpster, and then a squirrel suddenly jumped out of the dumpster at him. He panicked and threw the paint, which hit the squirrel and knocked it back into the dumpster.
mattylite
+0 -0
Somewhat related recent true story: I came centimeters from running over an opossum on my bike a couple weeks ago. Those things are really stupid about getting out of the way. Scared the hell out of me.
Somewhat related recent true story: I came centimeters from running over an opossum on my bike a couple weeks ago. Those things are really stupid about getting out of the way. Scared the hell out of me.
selbencoirlo
+0 -0
Animal cruelty chubby!
Animal cruelty chubby!
wonelove
+1 -0
All strafing around long A in dust2. Past the CT spawn to the T spawn, back around long A, confusing the hell out of everyone.
All strafing around long A in dust2. Past the CT spawn to the T spawn, back around long A, confusing the hell out of everyone.
libelandslander
+0 -0
Thinking of Todd as a regular squirrel made me start thinking of the one who hangs out outside my window. Oh god is it watching me
Thinking of Todd as a regular squirrel made me start thinking of the one who hangs out outside my window. Oh god is it watching me
m1st3rbl4ck
+1 -0
the death of todd todd todd todd todd t. squirrel.
the death of todd todd todd todd todd t. squirrel.
closefriend
+3 -0
It's funny how such a repetitive name has such a natural rhythm when you actually say it out loud.
It's funny how such a repetitive name has such a natural rhythm when you actually say it out loud.
buttermoths
+3 -1
Yeah, the "Squirrel" at the end will naturally be gleefully shouted when you say it out loud.
Yeah, the "Squirrel" at the end will naturally be gleefully shouted when you say it out loud.
liithe
+3 -0
I tend to say it to the tune of "Barbara Ann"
I tend to say it to the tune of "Barbara Ann"
tombsgrave
+6 -0
Comedy... needs... corpses!
Comedy... needs... corpses!
junko
+1 -0
Best way of killing off a major character ever.
Best way of killing off a major character ever.
ssddr
+0 -0
But he's allready died in the past, and come back beyond this.
But he's allready died in the past, and come back beyond this.
aperson
+0 -0
Oh Todd.
Oh Todd.
le_chien_manquee
+7 -2
would it be funnier if teodor hit a dinger or if he got a ground rule double? fuck, a baltimore chop would be amazing! imagine t choking up on the bat and thumping todd's wee head, driving him into the ground and bouncing him over the infield. awesome
would it be funnier if teodor hit a dinger or if he got a ground rule double? fuck, a baltimore chop would be amazing! imagine t choking up on the bat and thumping todd's wee head, driving him into the ground and bouncing him over the infield. awesome
paperboy_2000
+17 -0
Teodor spits into his hands to get a better grip on the bat as he ponders the ballistic properties of a dead squirrel in a helmet.
Teodor spits into his hands to get a better grip on the bat as he ponders the ballistic properties of a dead squirrel in a helmet.
beansdooma
+6 -0
next time on mythbusters...
next time on mythbusters...
cdl146
+3 -0
I got really sad when he killed off Todd, until I realized just about every other character had died at one point and they always came back. Plus, Todd knows the secret to get out of Hell via Friday's restaurant.
I got really sad when he killed off Todd, until I realized just about every other character had died at one point and they always came back. Plus, Todd knows the secret to get out of Hell via Friday's restaurant.
darthemed
+7 -0
First place!
First place!
arbys
+6 -0
I notice none of the robots have died. I wonder if they go to robot hell.
Come to think of it, we've pretty much never had an arc that focused on the robots, unless you count the one where Vlad fucks up Pat's Subway website. Get on it, Onstad.
I notice none of the robots have died. I wonder if they go to robot hell.
Come to think of it, we've pretty much never had an arc that focused on the robots, unless you count the one where Vlad fucks up Pat's Subway website. Get on it, Onstad.
cailetshadow
+1 -0
I dunno if Lie Bot walks away from having his guts ripped out by Lyle over the "cursive episode"
I dunno if Lie Bot walks away from having his guts ripped out by Lyle over the "cursive episode"
tagrineth
+0 -0
A comment left by tagrineth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Zorque, Gigs, Zem)
A comment left by tagrineth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Zorque, Gigs, Zem)
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
The only reason you got lamed is because soticoto uses the Weighted Companion Cube as an avatar. Keep on truckin', tagrineth.
The only reason you got lamed is because soticoto uses the Weighted Companion Cube as an avatar. Keep on truckin', tagrineth.
deusoma
+0 -0
Well, we do know that Android Hell is a real place, but perhaps none of Achewood's robots have shown any signs of disobedience.
Well, we do know that Android Hell is a real place, but perhaps none of Achewood's robots have shown any signs of disobedience.
brinkmanship
+1 -0
Achewood's robots have shown no signs of humanity other than their asses, and thus don't qualify as androids.
Particularly when it comes to doing the robot ladies, which is a hell of bad idea. Most of them come with electro-syphilis pre-installed.
Achewood's robots have shown no signs of humanity other than their asses, and thus don't qualify as androids.
Particularly when it comes to doing the robot ladies, which is a hell of bad idea. Most of them come with electro-syphilis pre-installed.
mattylite
+1 -0
ROBOT ASS!!!!!!!!
ROBOT ASS!!!!!!!!
sharktastic
+0 -0
BOO TO THAT
BOO TO THAT
invidious
+3 -0
Robots go to Silicon Heaven. Where all the calculators go. For is it not written in the Electronic Bible, "The Iron shall lie down with the Lamp"?
Robots go to Silicon Heaven. Where all the calculators go. For is it not written in the Electronic Bible, "The Iron shall lie down with the Lamp"?
ford
+4 -0
Dude, Friendly's not fridays
Dude, Friendly's not fridays
blarghamagarky
+3 -0
thanks I got angry
thanks I got angry
terebikun
+0 -0
But only if he can get the damn riddle right.
But only if he can get the damn riddle right.
billylk
+11 -0
Anybody else think Todd is more striking visually the less detail his face has?
Anybody else think Todd is more striking visually the less detail his face has?
nice_enuf_guy
+1 -0
A chubbie to you, as I thought the exact same thing! Todd's character does not benefit from detail.
A chubbie to you, as I thought the exact same thing! Todd's character does not benefit from detail.
red-barchetta
+1 -0
I dunno, I like what I believe to be his little tongue hanging out in the last panel.
I dunno, I like what I believe to be his little tongue hanging out in the last panel.
spinynorman
+5 -0
Comedy is a bitch who must be bedded on a matress of corpses.
Comedy is a bitch who must be bedded on a matress of corpses.
soticoto
+0 -0
Sounds like the start of a porn that I'd definitely buy.
Sounds like the start of a porn that I'd definitely buy.
shogun
+0 -0
Can you die for tourism and still leave your body to comedy, or do you have to pick one?
Can you die for tourism and still leave your body to comedy, or do you have to pick one?
imbeta
+0 -0
From now on... I like to think of "Frikkin' Funniest Home Videos" as a saying now, when you get upset.
From now on... I like to think of "Frikkin' Funniest Home Videos" as a saying now, when you get upset.
agentstinky
+10 -0
Don't rake his cadaver up
What's the matter with your mind?
The dude ain't a lawn clipping
We been knuckleheads since old times.
Break out the batting helmet and the bat
We're all about to have a funeral and that's that
-MC Frontalot
Don't rake his cadaver up
What's the matter with your mind?
The dude ain't a lawn clipping
We been knuckleheads since old times.
Break out the batting helmet and the bat
We're all about to have a funeral and that's that
-MC Frontalot
tonyhighwind
+4 -0
We'll do it after breakfast, we'll do it up proper
We'll drop all his ashes out the Airwolf copter.
All singin' out dirges, all spreadin' out blossoms,
And it's gonna b-b-b-be f-frikkin' awesome!
We'll do it after breakfast, we'll do it up proper
We'll drop all his ashes out the Airwolf copter.
All singin' out dirges, all spreadin' out blossoms,
And it's gonna b-b-b-be f-frikkin' awesome!
bluecarrot
+0 -0
See, what makes this comic for me is the last panel. Someone else would have said, "A few days later..."
See, what makes this comic for me is the last panel. Someone else would have said, "A few days later..."
xiaomimi
+15 -0
Wednesday Blogs
Ray: Butter, where have you been all my life?
Wednesday Blogs
Ray: Butter, where have you been all my life?
terribleman
+1 -0
Ray has had helluva fight with Pat over butter, it seems.
Ray has had helluva fight with Pat over butter, it seems.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I always feel it the most when Todd dies.
I always feel it the most when Todd dies.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You jack off to dead squirrels?
Awesome.
You jack off to dead squirrels?
Awesome.
lemminadetate
+1 -0
Now why would a dead squirrel need a helmet
Now why would a dead squirrel need a helmet
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Because Teodor doesn't want tiny little squirrel brains all over the only sweater he ever wears?
Because Teodor doesn't want tiny little squirrel brains all over the only sweater he ever wears?
goatmasterflash
+0 -0
AFV wouldn't air a video of a dead squirrel, but if they think he's alive, intentionally airborne, and will be protected by his crash-helmet upon landing, now that's family programming!
AFV wouldn't air a video of a dead squirrel, but if they think he's alive, intentionally airborne, and will be protected by his crash-helmet upon landing, now that's family programming!
zapatos
+1 -0
Todd dies before winter approaches.
Todd dies before winter approaches.
plummet
+0 -0
I love how Todd has the class MGS ! over his head, I imagine it going with the sound and everything
WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?!
[IMGS OFF]
I love how Todd has the class MGS ! over his head, I imagine it going with the sound and everything
WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?!
[IMGS OFF]
atypicaloracle
+2 -0
I wonder why the other characters wait until Todd is dead to smash him over a fence with a baseball bat.
I wonder why the other characters wait until Todd is dead to smash him over a fence with a baseball bat.
Todd's always got those really short lines that seem like they're indicating a constant trembling. It sort of has the effect of making him seem dirty, like he's emanating particles of grime from his body at all times.
This is known as the "Pigpen Effect" in many circles, and the "Short Movement Line Effect" by many squares.