fishies
+1 -1
Congratulations Beef!
Man I should get a copy of this strip mailed to me.
Congratulations Beef!
Man I should get a copy of this strip mailed to me.
sncether
+5 -0
Yeah man, you're ordering all at once the two best things the internet has to offer: Achewood and wordless marriage.
Yeah man, you're ordering all at once the two best things the internet has to offer: Achewood and wordless marriage.
dovey
+2 -0
Only topped in real life by wordless childbirth.
Only topped in real life by wordless childbirth.
bixschmix
+1 -0
Oh, those zany Scientologists!
Oh, those zany Scientologists!
delandelandelan
+3 -1
Never seen a 5 before. Cool beans.
Never seen a 5 before. Cool beans.
pinballchacha
+0 -0
chubbied for your startlingly appropriate avatar, sir!
chubbied for your startlingly appropriate avatar, sir!
sparhawk
+1 -0
I look up and it's at 4.9 and THE DEUCE YOU SAY.
Don't drag your heels on 5'ing you lubbers.
I look up and it's at 4.9 and THE DEUCE YOU SAY.
Don't drag your heels on 5'ing you lubbers.
factorial
+1 -1
Man I hate the phrase Cool Beans. I'm just sayin.
Man I hate the phrase Cool Beans. I'm just sayin.
sneakymarco
+97 -1
I was starting to tear up a little bit until Philippe pissed himself. Then, I laughed at a child's pain and my manliness was restored.
I was starting to tear up a little bit until Philippe pissed himself. Then, I laughed at a child's pain and my manliness was restored.
ultimatio
+0 -0
Yeah, the montage was great!
Yeah, the montage was great!
riazm
+0 -0
Time until montage is gif'd:
T minus Photoshop and counting.
Time until montage is gif'd:
T minus Photoshop and counting.
gormster
+0 -0
on its way....
on its way....
gormster
+26 -0
[IMGS OFF]
slower version
[IMGS OFF]
slower version
gormster
+5 -0
So apparently Imageshack subscribes to the Assetbar paradigm of never letting your edit your posts. So here is the proper, looping version.
[IMGS OFF]
So apparently Imageshack subscribes to the Assetbar paradigm of never letting your edit your posts. So here is the proper, looping version.
[IMGS OFF]
edj
+0 -0
So yeah I know even saying this marks me as a huge geek, but if you happen to have Tom Petty's "It'll All Work Out" On Your ITunes, It syncs up surprising well.
So yeah I know even saying this marks me as a huge geek, but if you happen to have Tom Petty's "It'll All Work Out" On Your ITunes, It syncs up surprising well.
xerol
+37 -0
Something like this?
[IMGS OFF]
Something like this?
[IMGS OFF]
xerol
+150 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thepunchman
+0 -0
Bravo!
Bravo!
phoenixultima
+42 -1
WHAT IS LOVE
BABY DON'T HURT ME
DON'T HURT ME
NO MORE
WHAT IS LOVE
BABY DON'T HURT ME
DON'T HURT ME
NO MORE
sdskyle
+0 -0
It looks like the nervous bear is playing with himself...
It looks like the nervous bear is playing with himself...
kamet
+0 -0
A comment left by kamet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Carpetbag, ElZilcho, paul9, Frankreich)
A comment left by kamet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Carpetbag, ElZilcho, paul9, Frankreich)
drskradley
+0 -0
EVERYBODY DISCO DANCING, HAVING VERY GOOD TIME!
ROBOT DANCING?!
EVERYBODY DISCO DANCING, HAVING VERY GOOD TIME!
ROBOT DANCING?!
tucky
+0 -0
my broken-ass dryer in the other room has an uneven load and was thumping exactly in time with this.
my broken-ass dryer in the other room has an uneven load and was thumping exactly in time with this.
dskim
+0 -0
A comment left by dskim was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, sharpdresseddan, buckyohare)
A comment left by dskim was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, sharpdresseddan, buckyohare)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, that was so gratuitous it hurt me. It physically hurt me! It's going to bruise, I don't doubt.
Man, that was so gratuitous it hurt me. It physically hurt me! It's going to bruise, I don't doubt.
supahlovah
+0 -0
Broken ass-dryer.
Broken ass-dryer.
erinye
+0 -0
Chubby from the heart, if not the internets.
Chubby from the heart, if not the internets.
theirateturk
+0 -0
for some reason that reminded me of this:
[IMGS OFF]
for some reason that reminded me of this:
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+0 -0
What is this from?
What is this from?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I think it is a commercial for Rolos.
I still think they should've went with Rolo Tony Browntown.
I think it is a commercial for Rolos.
I still think they should've went with Rolo Tony Browntown.
professorhazard
+0 -0
CHECK YOURSELF RIGHT AT THE DOOR~
CHECK YOURSELF RIGHT AT THE DOOR~
professorhazard
+0 -0
f-fuck
f-fuck
rawk5tar
+0 -0
GIMMIE SOME MORE
GIMMIE SOME MORE
GIMMIE SOME MORE OF THOSE ROLOS
GIMMIE SOME MORE
GIMMIE SOME MORE
GIMMIE SOME MORE OF THOSE ROLOS
professorhazard
+0 -0
Let's get 'em on the phone.
Let's get 'em on the phone.
cromar
+0 -0
*~* Black America's feelings on this asset are: ... *~*
Dammit I can never make a good joke out of this.
*~* Black America's feelings on this asset are: ... *~*
Dammit I can never make a good joke out of this.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i wanna know what they're saying...'fore the rewind.
i wanna know what they're saying...'fore the rewind.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well, what he's saying.
the 'hinder boy is just eating a food.
well, what he's saying.
the 'hinder boy is just eating a food.
xerol
+0 -0
Phillipe was bothering me. Fixed it.
Phillipe was bothering me. Fixed it.
pstress
+1 -0
The pace of this animation fits perfectly with The Way We Get By by Spoon. Especially once the clapping starts.
The pace of this animation fits perfectly with The Way We Get By by Spoon. Especially once the clapping starts.
swanny614
+8 -1
If you play Dark Side of the Moon over this GIF they fit perfectly. I think Pink Floyd planned this.
If you play Dark Side of the Moon over this GIF they fit perfectly. I think Pink Floyd planned this.
nbgreene
+0 -0
I AM MOVED
I AM MOVED
wonelove
+0 -0
close call..
close call..
dskim
+13 -0
Like lots of people, I almost teared up, too. Moreso than at any real wedding I've been to.
I think what did it for me is the Wonderbread bag with 6' ext cord fastener memory, and some of the other visions from Roast Beef's life. That someone with a broken past can reach the sublime, and that nothing else really matters that much. Roast Beef would not have dared to dream about this, but he got it. Something went really really right in the world.
I also liked the part with Ray covering for Philippe. Such a fatherly gesture, which is both surprising and expected from Ray.
Like lots of people, I almost teared up, too. Moreso than at any real wedding I've been to.
I think what did it for me is the Wonderbread bag with 6' ext cord fastener memory, and some of the other visions from Roast Beef's life. That someone with a broken past can reach the sublime, and that nothing else really matters that much. Roast Beef would not have dared to dream about this, but he got it. Something went really really right in the world.
I also liked the part with Ray covering for Philippe. Such a fatherly gesture, which is both surprising and expected from Ray.
cyclopticgaze
+1 -0
Ray takes care of his people!
Ray takes care of his people!
quaga
+3 -0
He pays attention !
He pays attention !
dovey
+1 -0
BBCode takes care of Assetbar users!
(guys i've been away from here for a few months are we still making fun of BBcode?)
BBCode takes care of Assetbar users!
(guys i've been away from here for a few months are we still making fun of BBcode?)
hamscout
+5 -0
doesa bear the pope shit in the __WOODS??__
awwww %u2018%u2019%u2019%u2019%u2019%u201D%u2019%u201D%u2019%u2019 yeah!
does
awwww %u2018%u2019%u2019%u2019%u2019%u201D%u2019%u201D%u2019%u2019 yeah!
pogo
+0 -0
You did that on purpose.
You did that on purpose.
jollysaintpete
+2 -0
gasp
gasp
gormster
+0 -0
(it cannot be!)
(it cannot be!)
lexsenthur
+2 -0
Dude messed up BBC code so bad he almost got the lethal injection. :(
Dude messed up BBC code so bad he almost got the lethal injection. :(
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is BBC code some kind of Scottish slang for the Queen's English?
Is BBC code some kind of Scottish slang for the Queen's English?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
yes, but in a way that's hard to care about.
yes, but in a way that's hard to care about.
girlandagun
+1 -0
The moments from Beef's life flashing before his eyes as his bride walks up the aisle are sincerely fucking poignant.
I wish we knew more about Molly before she was in heaven. What was she seeing? Was she married in life before? What fucked up things happened to her that this seems like a good decision? Not that Beef isn't amazing. But it takes a special girl with a special, secretive past to really want to be with a guy who has to take special precautions and lamps and rituals in order to leave the house or address people in public in a polite manner.
The moments from Beef's life flashing before his eyes as his bride walks up the aisle are sincerely fucking poignant.
I wish we knew more about Molly before she was in heaven. What was she seeing? Was she married in life before? What fucked up things happened to her that this seems like a good decision? Not that Beef isn't amazing. But it takes a special girl with a special, secretive past to really want to be with a guy who has to take special precautions and lamps and rituals in order to leave the house or address people in public in a polite manner.
_cheesekayke
+1 -0
It's hard to believe that Molly would never have married at some point over the past few centuries. After all, she's not crazy, and she is willing to tolerate many of the primary shenanigans of men.
It's hard to believe that Molly would never have married at some point over the past few centuries. After all, she's not crazy, and she is willing to tolerate many of the primary shenanigans of men.
usversusthem
+0 -0
A comment left by usversusthem was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ifergott, theoneyouwant, Kirby119, harold)
A comment left by usversusthem was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ifergott, theoneyouwant, Kirby119, harold)
severide
+13 -0
Philippe in the tux and Beef's legs in the panel below it make it look like one person. One weird, screaming, married, otter-cat person.
Philippe in the tux and Beef's legs in the panel below it make it look like one person. One weird, screaming, married, otter-cat person.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Thank you for catching this, sir.
Thank you for catching this, sir.
xerol
+88 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
d-pad
+1 -0
I think this is the first comment to ever make me genuinely laugh. I wish I could chubby you more, and that sounds kinda nasty.
I think this is the first comment to ever make me genuinely laugh. I wish I could chubby you more, and that sounds kinda nasty.
sirhan_duran
+0 -0
what you have just said is actually a pretty rad pick-up line
what you have just said is actually a pretty rad pick-up line
d-pad
+1 -0
You mean something like, "Hey baby, I wish I could chubby you more, and I know that may sound kinda nasty, but I promise it might be sorta okay."?
You mean something like, "Hey baby, I wish I could chubby you more, and I know that may sound kinda nasty, but I promise it might be sorta okay."?
bixschmix
+0 -0
Sorta OK? If you're going for it, go for it; jump in feet first and be confident! "I know it sounds nasty, but after tonight you'll want new chubbies every day."
Sorta OK? If you're going for it, go for it; jump in feet first and be confident! "I know it sounds nasty, but after tonight you'll want new chubbies every day."
d-pad
+1 -0
I'm afraid if I do that, a five year old stuffed otter will appear and yell at me for being arrogant. This fear is irrational, but it persists.
I'm afraid if I do that, a five year old stuffed otter will appear and yell at me for being arrogant. This fear is irrational, but it persists.
hedonismbot
+1 -1
See dude, women love it when you go feet first, despite the itchy infections it causes
See dude, women love it when you go feet first, despite the itchy infections it causes
sirhan_duran
+1 -0
naw man, simplicity. You spot her across the room. She is fine. You approach. You lock eyes, and in a voice that is both slow and sincere you whisper:
"I wish I could chubby you more."
Exit w/ fine woman.
naw man, simplicity. You spot her across the room. She is fine. You approach. You lock eyes, and in a voice that is both slow and sincere you whisper:
"I wish I could chubby you more."
Exit w/ fine woman.
d-pad
+0 -0
I have much to learn. Do you have a series of motivational cassette tapes I might purchase from you on this subject?
I have much to learn. Do you have a series of motivational cassette tapes I might purchase from you on this subject?
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
I'm going to be physically ill.
I'm going to be physically ill.
drskradley
+4 -0
I'm going to be rhymically ill.
I'm going to be rhymically ill.
re5urgam
+0 -0
It's been a year and this still terrifies me. Thank you.
It's been a year and this still terrifies me. Thank you.
agentj
+2 -2
Just. Wow.
Just. Wow.
catjumpjohn
+1 -0
This is an actually perfect strip.
This is an actually perfect strip.
hbaranov
+0 -0
This is THE perfect strip
This is THE perfect strip
ineightwalls
+0 -0
agreed.
agreed.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*splut*
*splut*
agentj
+1 -0
Also, Phillipe should have been should have been dressed in black pants. This was inevitable.
Also, Phillipe should have been should have been dressed in black pants. This was inevitable.
sncether
+2 -0
You're exactly right, Woody Allen.
You're exactly right, Woody Allen.
pogo
+2 -0
Philippe's "I-wet-my-pants" facial expression is an instant classic.
Philippe's "I-wet-my-pants" facial expression is an instant classic.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
the 1-2 breakdown of philippes responses to ring being given and pant wetting: "phew" *relaxes* "...LORD, WHAT HAVE I DONE !?"
the 1-2 breakdown of philippes responses to ring being given and pant wetting: "phew" *relaxes* "...LORD, WHAT HAVE I DONE !?"
seymourglass
+0 -0
The cats in the third frame?
The cats in the third frame?
edwell
+7 -0
Doc Andretti and his pashmina-sporting mother .
Doc Andretti and his pashmina-sporting mother .
xndrew
+0 -0
I think I woulda been working tears up if I hadn't caught that. Made me a laugh a little before the emotional part.
I think I woulda been working tears up if I hadn't caught that. Made me a laugh a little before the emotional part.
solobuttons
+0 -0
Oh, Philippe...
Oh, Philippe...
stereo
+0 -0
Whose paw is that in panel 34 (The second one featuring Todd)?
Whose paw is that in panel 34 (The second one featuring Todd)?
irondave
+0 -0
Probably Beef's. It makes sense to me that in leading the cigarette break, Todd would light the groom's from his own.
Probably Beef's. It makes sense to me that in leading the cigarette break, Todd would light the groom's from his own.
sirfrederick
+1 -0
TRI.
CORN.
CAT HAT.
TRI.
CORN.
CAT HAT.
plummet
+0 -0
Mr. Saunders is hell of tough looking there, all badass and imposing in his Sea Captain outfit
they ought to put his picture on some hella raw spiced rum
Mr. Saunders is hell of tough looking there, all badass and imposing in his Sea Captain outfit
they ought to put his picture on some hella raw spiced rum
harold
+69 -2
[IMGS OFF]
That is all.
[IMGS OFF]
That is all.
falseprophet
+16 -0
The End! No moral!
The End! No moral!
nbgreene
+0 -0
BEEF!!!!
OHHH SHIIIITTT!
BEEF!!!!
OHHH SHIIIITTT!
banzairabbit
+0 -0
I'm not gonna lie. That little smile brought forth a tear or two.
I'm not gonna lie. That little smile brought forth a tear or two.
techiebabe
+1 -0
Teodor is still panicking himself into a tizzy. Also, poor Philippe, poor, poor Philippe.
Teodor is still panicking himself into a tizzy. Also, poor Philippe, poor, poor Philippe.
edwell
+1 -0
I figure he fell asleep again, waking up just in time to realize he'd miss the vows.
I figure he fell asleep again, waking up just in time to realize he'd miss the vows.
edwell
+2 -0
Oh, I just realized. The Teodor and food-cutting panels have the same shade of background.
Molly's brothers are working straight through the ceremony, and poor T can only buzz haplessly around them like a fly in a phone booth.
Oh, I just realized. The Teodor and food-cutting panels have the same shade of background.
Molly's brothers are working straight through the ceremony, and poor T can only buzz haplessly around them like a fly in a phone booth.
dr_strangeglove
+4 -0
philippe's peepee-scream reminds me a lot of Charlie Brown.
[IMGS OFF]
philippe's peepee-scream reminds me a lot of Charlie Brown.
[IMGS OFF]
zaratustra
+4 -0
WAAAAAAUGH!
WAAAAAAUGH!
dskim
+0 -1
I don't think it's spelled with a W.
I don't think it's spelled with a W.
decagon
+7 -0
EVELYYYYYYN!
EVELYYYYYYN!
catgrl131
+0 -0
STELLAAAAAAAAA!
STELLAAAAAAAAA!
loneal
+6 -1
Was a diver and she was always down.
Was a diver and she was always down.
tekende
+0 -0
V chubb for Interpol!
V chubb for Interpol!
dr_strangeglove
+0 -0
I get an r-chubb for Interpol.
No, I don't think that's weird.
I get an r-chubb for Interpol.
No, I don't think that's weird.
gormster
+0 -0
I was about to say Interpol are awful but then I realised I was thinking of Velvet Revolver. I'm... I'm not sure how I got those two mixed up.
I was about to say Interpol are awful but then I realised I was thinking of Velvet Revolver. I'm... I'm not sure how I got those two mixed up.
falseprophet
+1 -1
I'm gonna pull you in close
I'm gonna wrap you up tight
I'm gonna play with the braids that you came here with tonight
/hedonismbot
I'm gonna pull you in close
I'm gonna wrap you up tight
I'm gonna play with the braids that you came here with tonight
/hedonismbot
tekende
+0 -0
Oh. I always heard it as "brains," not "braids." Hmm.
Oh. I always heard it as "brains," not "braids." Hmm.
dr_strangeglove
+1 -0
Dear Lord, "Obstacle 2" is a song about zombies!
Dear Lord, "Obstacle 2" is a song about zombies!
cromar
+0 -0
I like twutles.
I like twutles.
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
Completing the circle of obstacles, that kid appears to have stabbed himself in the neck.
Completing the circle of obstacles, that kid appears to have stabbed himself in the neck.
morypcaina
+0 -1
to "Roland":
Roast Beef's from Circumstances and can has a wives
He marries her all over the town, at least he tries -- look, it stopped snowing (thanks for that Todd)
to "Roland":
Roast Beef's from Circumstances and can has a wives
He marries her all over the town, at least he tries -- look, it stopped snowing (thanks for that Todd)
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Peepee-scream!!
Peepee-scream!!
crawfomp
+2 -0
Man, if only they were round-shaped I would make them into POGs. That is not criticism, merely longing.
Man, if only they were round-shaped I would make them into POGs. That is not criticism, merely longing.
kishi
+2 -1
My approval of Beef and Molly's matrimony cannot be constrained to a 1 through 5 rating system. If any strip deserved a 6, this one does.
My approval of Beef and Molly's matrimony cannot be constrained to a 1 through 5 rating system. If any strip deserved a 6, this one does.
jaspers
+1 -0
The AIBO can sense impending excretal disaster.
The AIBO can sense impending excretal disaster.
irondave
+0 -0
The AIBO thinks "What the hell is wrong with that little otter?"
The AIBO thinks "What the hell is wrong with that little otter?"
audhumla
+2 -2
Jesus Christ, Onstad
Jesus Christ, Onstad
i_love_kate
+6 -0
I can see the parallels too.
I can see the parallels too.
pogo
+0 -0
Onstad, Fellini
Onstad, Fellini
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fellini... Tortellini.
Fellini... Tortellini.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Dojo... Casino... It's all in the mind.
Dojo... Casino... It's all in the mind.
metatronatra
+5 -2
If this strip isn't a solid 5, then I don't know what is. Come on doggs, we owe it to Beef and Molly; let's make their wedding gift the straight up 5.
"Ray gets sort of stoned" will have to be dethroned, but I'd rather see this on top then get damn boned.
If this strip isn't a solid 5, then I don't know what is. Come on doggs, we owe it to Beef and Molly; let's make their wedding gift the straight up 5.
"Ray gets sort of stoned" will have to be dethroned, but I'd rather see this on top then get damn boned.
gmm
+0 -0
Oh my, it actually is. Sitting right at the top of the "Highest Rated" right now. I fear this will not last, but it should.
Oh my, it actually is. Sitting right at the top of the "Highest Rated" right now. I fear this will not last, but it should.
metatronatra
+0 -0
A comment left by metatronatra was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Diggidy, d3athcann0n, cailetshadow, Audhumla, perhapsmaybe, pogo, gilganixon)
A comment left by metatronatra was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Diggidy, d3athcann0n, cailetshadow, Audhumla, perhapsmaybe, pogo, gilganixon)
irondave
+2 -1
I think you got lamed because there are people around here who hate anything heartfelt. Sad, sad people.
I think you got lamed because there are people around here who hate anything heartfelt. Sad, sad people.
autrepoupee
+0 -1
I hate things that are sentimental, and things that are sappy. Hallmark cards and Precious Moments figurines.
This strip isn't anywhere near that sappy. If it didn't have Phillipe pissing himself, it might've been a little too heavy-handed with the l-o-v-e, but it does, so it's not.
I hate things that are sentimental, and things that are sappy. Hallmark cards and Precious Moments figurines.
This strip isn't anywhere near that sappy. If it didn't have Phillipe pissing himself, it might've been a little too heavy-handed with the l-o-v-e, but it does, so it's not.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I accept my lamelumps with pleasure. Precious Moments and Hallmark were slow moving targets, and it's very Paula Poundstone of me to even bring them up.
Sorry, internet. :0( the strip is ultra cute.
I accept my lamelumps with pleasure. Precious Moments and Hallmark were slow moving targets, and it's very Paula Poundstone of me to even bring them up.
Sorry, internet. :0( the strip is ultra cute.
pogo
+0 -0
I love Paula Poundstone.
I love Paula Poundstone.
achilleselbow
+16 -1
I'm not the one who lamed you, but maybe it's because there are already like five posts on here to the effect of "anyone who didn't rate this a five suxorz", just like on every single other strip . Such comments and the ensuing discussions contribute nothing, and given that the range is something like 4.3-4.8, the ratings are basically meaningless anyway. Just rate it whatever the hell you want and move on already.
I'm not the one who lamed you, but maybe it's because there are already like five posts on here to the effect of "anyone who didn't rate this a five suxorz", just like on every single other strip . Such comments and the ensuing discussions contribute nothing, and given that the range is something like 4.3-4.8, the ratings are basically meaningless anyway. Just rate it whatever the hell you want and move on already.
ford
+1 -0
It's been stated by others than myself, but the best clear purpose of the ratings is really that the highest rated up top give achewood virgins some really good places to start. In this it has succeeded, although I imagine that if this strip stays up there it's gonna confuse some people down the road.
Also, that complaint always sounded really whiny to me.
"Guys, why do you have to like all the strips so much?"
It's been stated by others than myself, but the best clear purpose of the ratings is really that the highest rated up top give achewood virgins some really good places to start. In this it has succeeded, although I imagine that if this strip stays up there it's gonna confuse some people down the road.
Also, that complaint always sounded really whiny to me.
"Guys, why do you have to like all the strips so much?"
girlandagun
+0 -0
Um, point. If you don't like the strips and don't like rating the strips then just...don't....rate....the....strips? Am I right? Refrain? I sincerely doubt Mr Onstad has the time or inclination to read our comments, and I'm sure he doesn't really care what strip is rated highly or by who, but it's a forum for us, and so mocking the general use of it just seems a little bit silly. Why not use it if it's there for us to use?
Um, point. If you don't like the strips and don't like rating the strips then just...don't....rate....the....strips? Am I right? Refrain? I sincerely doubt Mr Onstad has the time or inclination to read our comments, and I'm sure he doesn't really care what strip is rated highly or by who, but it's a forum for us, and so mocking the general use of it just seems a little bit silly. Why not use it if it's there for us to use?
thegoblins
+1 -0
It's like in Battle School. The biggest gap in scores are .5 of a percentile, and those are HUUUUGE, so it doesn't make sense to be a nerd about it. You just gotta do battle.
It's like in Battle School. The biggest gap in scores are .5 of a percentile, and those are HUUUUGE, so it doesn't make sense to be a nerd about it. You just gotta do battle.
twoshark
+1 -0
I am a pot head who gave this strip a five.
I can only hope my misguided stoned brethren and their equally foolish sober counter parts can look past their hate and appreciate the awesome of this epic strip.
Much love for Cassandra and Wife.
I am a pot head who gave this strip a five.
I can only hope my misguided stoned brethren and their equally foolish sober counter parts can look past their hate and appreciate the awesome of this epic strip.
Much love for Cassandra and Wife.
pogo
+0 -0
Hey, my mother was a pothead, not cool, not funny!
Hey, my mother was a pothead, not cool, not funny!
farqussus
+0 -0
YOU'RE not cool, not funny.
Hey one that works.
YOU'RE not cool, not funny.
Hey one that works.
flavin
+0 -0
Wonder
Wonder
professorhazard
+0 -0
Good times, good times.
Good times, good times.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Can we read this up to down as well?
Can we read this up to down as well?
tekende
+7 -1
You just read it any way you want, dear, and the good lord will provide.
You just read it any way you want, dear, and the good lord will provide.
skoora
+11 -0
It's a strange and tragic tale if you do. Beef takes the ring from Molly and Ray reveals a screaming, peeing Phillipe.
It's a strange and tragic tale if you do. Beef takes the ring from Molly and Ray reveals a screaming, peeing Phillipe.
erinye
+3 -0
I teared up, I ain't gonna lie. Damn you, montages! Damn you too, catamenia!
Also, I enjoy the name of this strip. Dare I ask if there will be... aftermath?
I teared up, I ain't gonna lie. Damn you, montages! Damn you too, catamenia!
Also, I enjoy the name of this strip. Dare I ask if there will be... aftermath?
gmm
+1 -0
Oh I like the cut of your jib. I also dug the title.
"My feelings on this asset are: The Most Pro Ever"
Raw 5
Oh I like the cut of your jib. I also dug the title.
"My feelings on this asset are: The Most Pro Ever"
Raw 5
erinye
+2 -0
The cut of my jib? Are you... hitting on me?
The cut of my jib? Are you... hitting on me?
edwell
+9 -0
I like the cut of your eye.
I like the cut of your eye.
gyrate
+2 -0
Ribeye is the most nutritious cut.
Ribeye is the most nutritious cut.
tommycrashwreck
+4 -0
It's also the andalou-est of chiens in this case.
It's also the andalou-est of chiens in this case.
harold
+1 -0
That's what I want to grow up to be.
That's what I want to grow up to be.
ethelthefrog
+2 -2
be a debaaaser?
be a debaaaser?
onepapertiger
+0 -0
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
purplehaze
+0 -0
Your avatar is extremely appropriate sir. Startlingly so.
Your avatar is extremely appropriate sir. Startlingly so.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Very nice indeed. Was that your avatar before you made this comment, or is this the most magical concatenation of circumstance yet seen on assetbar?
Very nice indeed. Was that your avatar before you made this comment, or is this the most magical concatenation of circumstance yet seen on assetbar?
expellens
+0 -0
Make sure to ask for that ribeye with double cheese. Promise to try to keep it on as weight .
Make sure to ask for that ribeye with double cheese. Promise to try to keep it on as weight .
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I'm starting to feel that we need a strip of Lyle doing something unbelievably crass, stat.
I'm starting to feel that we need a strip of Lyle doing something unbelievably crass, stat.
hamscout
+0 -0
*rubs hands together*
Rrriiight--RECEPTION!!
*rubs hands together*
Rrriiight--RECEPTION!!
onepapertiger
+2 -0
HAMSCOUT. I JUST PUT IT TOGETHER.
From To Kill A Mockingbird: "Ah, was a Ham."
HAMSCOUT. I JUST PUT IT TOGETHER.
From To Kill A Mockingbird: "Ah, was a Ham."
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
*gasp* . You're right! I never thought of that. I had just kind of thought he really liked ham, and was on the lookout for some.
*gasp* . You're right! I never thought of that. I had just kind of thought he really liked ham, and was on the lookout for some.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Of course! It's all so simple, now!
Of course! It's all so simple, now!
hamscout
+0 -0
remem...remember when I told everyone that?
Wait...were you kids here then? FUCK! Now I'm old in an internet forum, too???
remem...remember when I told everyone that?
Wait...were you kids here then? FUCK! Now I'm old in an internet forum, too???
onepapertiger
+0 -0
*sigh*
hamscout, have you been paying attention at all to the exponential growth of this site's fanbase? Shit, there's something like 2000 comments on that page you just linked alone. I don't know about many of you, but I'm terribly busy what with getting laid and German yacht parties and snow-blading (new sport I invented with the Swiss) all the time, so maybe I simply can't read every damn comment on every page every day. Plus, I've been here a little over two years now. Follower for three. Most of these other users, probably at least a year.
I respect you, Hamscout. This is simply a warning to your ego.
*sigh*
hamscout, have you been paying attention at all to the exponential growth of this site's fanbase? Shit, there's something like 2000 comments on that page you just linked alone. I don't know about many of you, but I'm terribly busy what with getting laid and German yacht parties and snow-blading (new sport I invented with the Swiss) all the time, so maybe I simply can't read every damn comment on every page every day. Plus, I've been here a little over two years now. Follower for three. Most of these other users, probably at least a year.
I respect you, Hamscout. This is simply a warning to your ego.
hamscout
+0 -0
You've already stoked my ego simply by making me a topic of conversation...
I appreciate the time you took out of your exciting and sexy schedule to appreciate the reference in my avatariconpictograhthingy!
I also bow to your expertise--I've only been on the forums/strip for 3 months. [/genuflect]
You've already stoked my ego simply by making me a topic of conversation...
I appreciate the time you took out of your exciting and sexy schedule to appreciate the reference in my avatariconpictograhthingy!
I also bow to your expertise--I've only been on the forums/strip for 3 months. [/genuflect]
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I must have been absent that day. I guess I haven't finished my make-up work.
I must have been absent that day. I guess I haven't finished my make-up work.
hamscout
+0 -0
*blush* I don't get much attention 'round these parts, 'less I'm makin' some buggery on the photoshop.
*blush* I don't get much attention 'round these parts, 'less I'm makin' some buggery on the photoshop.
pogo
+0 -0
So ... we can call you "mockingbird" now?
So ... we can call you "mockingbird" now?
hamscout
+0 -0
only if I can call you... Boo
only if I can call you... Boo
kamet
+0 -0
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al
smugairle
+22 -0
Congratulations Roast Beef plus Molly. You are the equation of the week.
Congratulations Roast Beef plus Molly. You are the equation of the week.
ajthesecond
+0 -0
can someone link the strip that "equation of the week" comes from?
can someone link the strip that "equation of the week" comes from?
stereo
+0 -0
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04222004
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04222004
cromar
+0 -0
What is Ray wearing ?
What is Ray wearing ?
irondave
+0 -0
It is a suit made of filthy newspapers.
It is a suit made of filthy newspapers.
aliiis
+0 -0
nice
nice
falseprophet
+0 -0
Something new has been added!
But aliiis you've been away for so long that you have forgotten that HTML just ain't the way we do things here honey.
Something new has been added!
But aliiis you've been away for so long that you have forgotten that HTML just ain't the way we do things here honey.
aliiis
+1 -0
Yes, sweetcheeks. The moral of this story is Do Not Lurk. I lurked... and now I suck .
(but falseprophet still calls me honey, win)
Yes, sweetcheeks. The moral of this story is Do Not Lurk. I lurked... and now I suck .
(but falseprophet still calls me honey, win)
irondave
+0 -0
Yaaaaaaaays.
Yaaaaaaaays.
pogo
+0 -0
Them titties yours?
Them titties yours?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Pure class, all the way
Pure class, all the way
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Old school subtlety, there.
"Them titties yours?"
"Why... why yes! Thank you for noticing!"
Old school subtlety, there.
"Them titties yours?"
"Why... why yes! Thank you for noticing!"
aliiis
+0 -0
sure as heck ain't yours
sure as heck ain't yours
pogo
+0 -0
Oww, huge slam from large titties on old pog'.
Oww, huge slam from large titties on old pog'.
bondijames
+0 -0
Just damn.
Who dared give this less than a 6?
Just damn.
Who dared give this less than a 6?
falseprophet
+9 -0
I tried to give it a 6 but I couldn't get my mouse up to 88 mph, which is necessary for breaking the assetbarrier.
I tried to give it a 6 but I couldn't get my mouse up to 88 mph, which is necessary for breaking the assetbarrier.
dskim
+0 -0
1.121 Gigawatts! 1.121 Gigawatts!
1.121 Gigawatts! 1.121 Gigawatts!
dskim
+0 -0
By the way, I saw a DeLorean on the street the other day. My father brought one home from the dealer once when I was a kid. Brushed steel gullwing radness.
By the way, I saw a DeLorean on the street the other day. My father brought one home from the dealer once when I was a kid. Brushed steel gullwing radness.
hamscout
+0 -0
I just saw one a couple days ago, too!! Creepy!
Oh no...they found me. I don't know how, but they found me... It's the Libyans!!
I just saw one a couple days ago, too!! Creepy!
Oh no...they found me. I don't know how, but they found me... It's the Libyans!!
techiebabe
+0 -0
My parents' neighbor has had a DeLorean sitting in their driveway for as far back as I can remember. So, I see one every day...
My parents' neighbor has had a DeLorean sitting in their driveway for as far back as I can remember. So, I see one every day...
kamet
+1 -1
I would TOTALLY be tempted to steal it, just to take it to 88mph once. Then I would truly know that time travel isn't possible.. at least, in a DeLorean.
I would TOTALLY be tempted to steal it, just to take it to 88mph once. Then I would truly know that time travel isn't possible.. at least, in a DeLorean.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, MAN!
you know how hard Flux Capacitors are hard to come 'round these days??
hard.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, MAN!
you know how hard Flux Capacitors are hard to come 'round these days??
hard.
barrymorefm
+0 -0
I saw the real one the other day! Everyone who walked past pointed at the flux capacitor and said "Look! The flux capacitor!" For my part, I cupped my mouth and shouted at passersby "I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE FUTURE".
It was at a sci-fi convention attended for reasons of necessity and duty. Also present was Mon Mothma and three people dressed as Jack Sparrow, one obese. I recommend these fine events to all- don't forget to watch the interview with the fish guy from Hellboy, you may learn something as I did.
I saw the real one the other day! Everyone who walked past pointed at the flux capacitor and said "Look! The flux capacitor!" For my part, I cupped my mouth and shouted at passersby "I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE FUTURE".
It was at a sci-fi convention attended for reasons of necessity and duty. Also present was Mon Mothma and three people dressed as Jack Sparrow, one obese. I recommend these fine events to all- don't forget to watch the interview with the fish guy from Hellboy, you may learn something as I did.
mrchee
+0 -0
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, zoom, Gabalfa, DrSkradley, mira, GOB, ZedPower, Methadone, Hexjumper, erinye, seren_tremio, Irien)
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, zoom, Gabalfa, DrSkradley, mira, GOB, ZedPower, Methadone, Hexjumper, erinye, seren_tremio, Irien)
foea
+4 -0
Eat a dick!
Eat a dick!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Suck a fuck!
Suck a fuck!
pogo
+0 -0
Speaking of old school, this reminded me of:
Fuck a duck,
Screw a pidgeon
Go the hell
And teach religion.
Speaking of old school, this reminded me of:
Fuck a duck,
Screw a pidgeon
Go the hell
And teach religion.
dskim
+0 -0
How about some classic Wesley Willis right about now?
How about some classic Wesley Willis right about now?
dskim
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCk0uGwFZI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCk0uGwFZI
pogo
+0 -0
Wow, that was terrible! Thanks.
Wow, that was terrible! Thanks.
lacrimus
+44 -0
OH GOD DR. KISSES EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF YOU
OH GOD DR. KISSES EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF YOU
fuyukodachi
+1 -0
I wish I could chubby this twenty-five times.
I wish I could chubby this twenty-five times.
caddon
+7 -0
Do you Cassandra...
Do you Cassandra...
loeras
+1 -0
best achewood ever.
bask fellow fans, we are viewing history.
best achewood ever.
bask fellow fans, we are viewing history.
fuyukodachi
+0 -0
Beef must have let someone give him a manicure for the wedding, since that receiving hand sure don't look like no dang ol' lady hand. That is some love.
Beef must have let someone give him a manicure for the wedding, since that receiving hand sure don't look like no dang ol' lady hand. That is some love.
leon
+4 -0
awww aibos in tuxedos they look like tiny robot butlers
awww aibos in tuxedos they look like tiny robot butlers
skoora
+2 -0
I think this is most solemn that Todd has ever been. If he wore that hat forever, I wouldn't mind in the least bit.
I think this is most solemn that Todd has ever been. If he wore that hat forever, I wouldn't mind in the least bit.
seren_tremio
+0 -0
Come to think of it, you're right. Todd totally behaved himself. Fuck, dude.
Come to think of it, you're right. Todd totally behaved himself. Fuck, dude.
skoora
+3 -0
Actually, he's probably just on some downers.
Actually, he's probably just on some downers.
preston
+0 -0
Downers and carcinogenerosity
Downers and carcinogenerosity
red-barchetta
+0 -0
wow, not a word spoken but so much is said in this strip. Bravo, Chris!
wow, not a word spoken but so much is said in this strip. Bravo, Chris!
echidnaboy
+1 -0
I'd totally forgotten that it was Blister who introduced Beef and Molly. I wonder if he made it to the wedding.
Molly looks so much cuter in that flashback panel. I guess a lot of cartoonists struggle to make their female characters beautiful while maintaining a consistent style, but it's unnecessary. Giving Molly a "realistic" neck isn't going to make us like her any more than we already do.
I'd totally forgotten that it was Blister who introduced Beef and Molly. I wonder if he made it to the wedding.
Molly looks so much cuter in that flashback panel. I guess a lot of cartoonists struggle to make their female characters beautiful while maintaining a consistent style, but it's unnecessary. Giving Molly a "realistic" neck isn't going to make us like her any more than we already do.
squi
+0 -0
A lady like molly does not want to look cute on her damn wedding day. She wants to look radiant, elegant and beautiful. Cute is for everyday. Cute is not for a gorgeous wedding gown.
A lady like molly does not want to look cute on her damn wedding day. She wants to look radiant, elegant and beautiful. Cute is for everyday. Cute is not for a gorgeous wedding gown.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
I'm not talking about the way she's dressed. I'm saying Onstad has changed her entire shape. Nobody else in the strip has a neck.
I'm not talking about the way she's dressed. I'm saying Onstad has changed her entire shape. Nobody else in the strip has a neck.
squi
+0 -0
It's a temporary change for the wedding which gives her a much more elegant look. I don't think Onstad is trying to get us to "like her any more than we already do" so much as he's making her look how someone getting married wants to look.
Also it really helps set her apart from her mother who's got, basically, the exact same face.
It's a temporary change for the wedding which gives her a much more elegant look. I don't think Onstad is trying to get us to "like her any more than we already do" so much as he's making her look how someone getting married wants to look.
Also it really helps set her apart from her mother who's got, basically, the exact same face.
gyrate
+11 -0
The neck is a rental - it comes with the dress.
The neck is a rental - it comes with the dress.
jonmw
+0 -0
I need to look into renting some Killer Abs for the next time I happen to go to the beach or pool.
I need to look into renting some Killer Abs for the next time I happen to go to the beach or pool.
mg7810
+3 -0
Abs? Oh man, that is mega nasty. That is dog shit.
Abs? Oh man, that is mega nasty. That is dog shit.
pinballchacha
+0 -0
She dieted for the wedding! Which is silly as hell, but god knows plenty of real, non-cartoon cat women do that too.
She dieted for the wedding! Which is silly as hell, but god knows plenty of real, non-cartoon cat women do that too.
loneal
+0 -1
Every time I scroll past your avatar, it looks more obscene. When I look at it closely, though, it transforms into a baby animal.
Every time I scroll past your avatar, it looks more obscene. When I look at it closely, though, it transforms into a baby animal.
falseprophet
+3 -0
Baby they all become baby animals if you know how to kiss it right.
Baby they all become baby animals if you know how to kiss it right.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And when I stare at that baby animal long enough, it looks like a pen0r trying to eat an almond or something. With nostrils. Reminds me of good old dad
And when I stare at that baby animal long enough, it looks like a pen0r trying to eat an almond or something. With nostrils. Reminds me of good old dad
pogo
+0 -0
Whut!? Why'd you wake me? Get me a damn beer, boy, or I'll let the sheriff come get your criminal ass.
Whut!? Why'd you wake me? Get me a damn beer, boy, or I'll let the sheriff come get your criminal ass.
foea
+0 -0
Ah ha! Hedonismbot is your 25-year-old son! I don't think having a basement slave counts as being in a relationship.
Ah ha! Hedonismbot is your 25-year-old son! I don't think having a basement slave counts as being in a relationship.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Does having four count?
Does having four count?
loneal
+1 -0
There are four of us? When are you going to take the blindfold off?
There are four of us? When are you going to take the blindfold off?
professorhazard
+0 -0
hedonismbot is either planning the next Saw movie, or is trying to re-enact the allegory of the cave.
hedonismbot is either planning the next Saw movie, or is trying to re-enact the allegory of the cave.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
That mirror in the side of your room? Not a mirror. You actually aren't 4 foot 10. I've been trying to convince you that you were, bit I think that girl is starting to miss some motions. Let me know if you do something in that mirror and she doesn't imitate it perfectly. Let me know right away. Right that moment. Otherwise she will never learn.
That mirror in the side of your room? Not a mirror. You actually aren't 4 foot 10. I've been trying to convince you that you were, bit I think that girl is starting to miss some motions. Let me know if you do something in that mirror and she doesn't imitate it perfectly. Let me know right away. Right that moment. Otherwise she will never learn.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
hedonismbot, have you ever heard of Charles Ng or Leonard Lake? Good guys. You'd like them.
Ooookay, I am done reading about child murderers for today.
hedonismbot, have you ever heard of Charles Ng or Leonard Lake? Good guys. You'd like them.
Ooookay, I am done reading about child murderers for today.
earendil
+0 -0
I'm getting kind of freaked out by panel A6 -- it seems like Molly's face is pasted onto Princess Leia's head.
I'm getting kind of freaked out by panel A6 -- it seems like Molly's face is pasted onto Princess Leia's head.
falseprophet
+2 -0
You sunk my Death Star.
You sunk my Death Star.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Yeah, that neck is still giving me the heebie-jeebies. I know it will go away and all, but cartoon cats are never meant to have clavicles and neck muscles. I get it and all, elegant and such, but eugh.
Yeah, that neck is still giving me the heebie-jeebies. I know it will go away and all, but cartoon cats are never meant to have clavicles and neck muscles. I get it and all, elegant and such, but eugh.
noah_j
+0 -0
not true! t and a have neck a-plenty.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=02212007
not true! t and a have neck a-plenty.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=02212007
zombiezero
+3 -0
Spongebath seems to have skipped the wedding to attend a tennis match.
Spongebath seems to have skipped the wedding to attend a tennis match.
mattbeetee
+0 -0
I keep expecting one of the shapes in your avatar to clash with the other and for the entire system to brake. Then I realise that it is in fact a repeating GIF, but the whole thing is just so delicate...
Stop stressing me out!
I keep expecting one of the shapes in your avatar to clash with the other and for the entire system to brake. Then I realise that it is in fact a repeating GIF, but the whole thing is just so delicate...
Stop stressing me out!
kamet
+1 -0
I love that he shows a brief bit of Beefs life passing before his eyes... Seeing Beef happy is a balm to my soul.
I love that he shows a brief bit of Beefs life passing before his eyes... Seeing Beef happy is a balm to my soul.
artistshmartist
+0 -0
I'm sad that the obvious highlight of my day came at 7:00 this morning..
I'm sad that the obvious highlight of my day came at 7:00 this morning..
captainsemtex
+0 -1
Or to compound that, this week or even month. This whole wedding thing will end up with about 50 offshoot story arcs. Onstad you bastard, SROP DOING THIS TO A DUDE. I'M GETTIN THE INTERNET AT HOME DESPITE THE FACT I CAN'T AFFORD IT JUST TO LOOK AT THIS THING!
Or to compound that, this week or even month. This whole wedding thing will end up with about 50 offshoot story arcs. Onstad you bastard, SROP DOING THIS TO A DUDE. I'M GETTIN THE INTERNET AT HOME DESPITE THE FACT I CAN'T AFFORD IT JUST TO LOOK AT THIS THING!
opprobrium
+4 -0
congrats beef and molly. and may your first child be a masculine child.
congrats beef and molly. and may your first child be a masculine child.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
To wit, I brought you this trout as my wedding gift
To wit, I brought you this trout as my wedding gift
rygarrett2
+0 -0
I insist that whoever rated this strip a 4 go back and reconsider.
I insist that whoever rated this strip a 4 go back and reconsider.
excusemesenator
+0 -1
Hold on is that Gramma K in panel 3???
Hold on is that Gramma K in panel 3???
excusemesenator
+0 -1
No, wait, no. Doc Andretti's mother. Shit. I'm laming myself for that one.
No, wait, no. Doc Andretti's mother. Shit. I'm laming myself for that one.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Dr Zoidberg:
"...I'm waiting."
Dr Zoidberg:
"...I'm waiting."
excusemesenator
+1 -0
Unfortunately it's not possible to lame oneself. I mean, I can understand not being able to give yourself a chubby, but come on, Assetbar. Let a dude lame himself if he wants.
Unfortunately it's not possible to lame oneself. I mean, I can understand not being able to give yourself a chubby, but come on, Assetbar. Let a dude lame himself if he wants.
heeeraldo
+0 -0
I lamed the above on your behalf, and then Chubbied you just now for going through with it.
I lamed the above on your behalf, and then Chubbied you just now for going through with it.
gyrate
+0 -0
It's Mother Andretti (avec pashmina), and her son the doctor.
It's Mother Andretti (avec pashmina), and her son the doctor.
inweaknessbe
+6 -0
No dialogue. I think it's better that way. A picture's worth 1,000 words. This strip is worth 47,000 words.
No dialogue. I think it's better that way. A picture's worth 1,000 words. This strip is worth 47,000 words.
squares
+0 -0
chubby for you for finding the picture of keith moon that onstad used as reference.
chubby for you for finding the picture of keith moon that onstad used as reference.
sleepchillin
+0 -0
and he really does look delighted.
and he really does look delighted.
zenweight
+1 -0
I don't know what kind of Shakespeare the internet deserves, but this is the one we get and I couldn't be happier. Onstad you marvellous bastard! Who else could make an extended webcomic arc based on a marriage, not only one that doesnt make you vomit in your own mouth, but actually be freakin' hilarious, beautiful and still mannish enough to capture the terrible dudes that come here every day to realise there is more twisted genius in the world than our low-fi lives suggest. Thanks mate.
I don't know what kind of Shakespeare the internet deserves, but this is the one we get and I couldn't be happier. Onstad you marvellous bastard! Who else could make an extended webcomic arc based on a marriage, not only one that doesnt make you vomit in your own mouth, but actually be freakin' hilarious, beautiful and still mannish enough to capture the terrible dudes that come here every day to realise there is more twisted genius in the world than our low-fi lives suggest. Thanks mate.
pogo
+0 -0
So few here have faced the gauntlet of smiles, I just chuckle in my fortress. Your day will come, and may it be as good as Beef's.
BTW, I'm getting married again next year -- yes, I've been around the block a couple times already, as if it wasn't obvious. Have a 25-year-old son, too.
So few here have faced the gauntlet of smiles, I just chuckle in my fortress. Your day will come, and may it be as good as Beef's.
BTW, I'm getting married again next year -- yes, I've been around the block a couple times already, as if it wasn't obvious. Have a 25-year-old son, too.
history
+0 -0
Congratulations Pogo!
Still working on my first, and I will say this from my own experience. My wedding was a disaster, and it haunted the first few years of my marriage. However, my marriage has been a success because we had a strong enough bond between us.
I think many folks have criticized this arc because they do not understand the circumstances. Go back and read and watch the bond between Beef and Molly in all their strips together, and you will begin to have an idea.
Congratulations Pogo!
Still working on my first, and I will say this from my own experience. My wedding was a disaster, and it haunted the first few years of my marriage. However, my marriage has been a success because we had a strong enough bond between us.
I think many folks have criticized this arc because they do not understand the circumstances. Go back and read and watch the bond between Beef and Molly in all their strips together, and you will begin to have an idea.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks, history, and congrats on your bond's success.
Thanks, history, and congrats on your bond's success.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
is he single
is he single
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
what does he look like and does he have a job?
what does he look like and does he have a job?
hamscout
+1 -0
Hey pogo, is he cute?? Is he brown?
Maybe he'd like to come in and join us for a cocktail.
Is he polite? Is he a brown man?
Oooh, if he's polite, have him come in!
Hey pogo, is he cute?? Is he brown?
Maybe he'd like to come in and join us for a cocktail.
Is he polite? Is he a brown man?
Oooh, if he's polite, have him come in!
pogo
+0 -0
One at a time, ladies -- yes, the spawn of Pogo is still single, although in a relationship, and teaches high schoolers about computers. I'll work on posting a photo.
One at a time, ladies -- yes, the spawn of Pogo is still single, although in a relationship, and teaches high schoolers about computers. I'll work on posting a photo.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Awww, now even *I* like him. Not enough good computer ejurcation in most high schools.
Awww, now even *I* like him. Not enough good computer ejurcation in most high schools.
pogo
+0 -0
Pogo junior
[IMGS OFF]
Pogo junior
[IMGS OFF]
kamet
+0 -0
He seems a respectable enough young man.. nothing like his father, of course.
He seems a respectable enough young man.. nothing like his father, of course.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Despite your attempts at modesty, you couldn't find even a single picture where he's not getting the glad-eye from a lady.
But man, who could blame them. He's like James Bond, but more jovial and less deadly. Although that can be hard to tell from a photo.
Despite your attempts at modesty, you couldn't find even a single picture where he's not getting the glad-eye from a lady.
But man, who could blame them. He's like James Bond, but more jovial and less deadly. Although that can be hard to tell from a photo.
pogo
+1 -0
I also couldn't find one where he wasn't drinking.
I also couldn't find one where he wasn't drinking.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
sold
sold
hedonismbot
+1 -0
This is redundant, you already told us he was 25
This is redundant, you already told us he was 25
gormster
+0 -0
oh lord, he's cute
but i'm going to go out on a limb here and say he likes ladies otherwise you probably would have mentioned.
such a waste.
(also i assume he lives in wherever you live, which is probably north america and not new south wales)
oh lord, he's cute
but i'm going to go out on a limb here and say he likes ladies otherwise you probably would have mentioned.
such a waste.
(also i assume he lives in wherever you live, which is probably north america and not new south wales)
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Awwwww. The spawn of Pogo! Nice lookin' kid. Good work, sir, good work.
Awwwww. The spawn of Pogo! Nice lookin' kid. Good work, sir, good work.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks, his mom's a looker.
Thanks, his mom's a looker.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Oh, >L< ooker!
Oh, >L< ooker!
catgrl131
+1 -0
Whoops.
Whoops.
pogo
+0 -0
You did that on purpose.
You did that on purpose.
hamscout
+0 -0
...not without paying first, honey...
...not without paying first, honey...
foetus_punch
+0 -0
POGO POGO POGO THE GREAT IS GETTING MARRIED
HEAR YE HEAR YE
Goodness, I am happy for you.
POGO POGO POGO THE GREAT IS GETTING MARRIED
HEAR YE HEAR YE
Goodness, I am happy for you.
pogo
+0 -0
Merci bien, my child.
Merci bien, my child.
gormster
+0 -0
do you mean merci beaucoup... as far as I know merci bien is not a thing?
do you mean merci beaucoup... as far as I know merci bien is not a thing?
foetus_punch
+0 -0
"Merci bien" is a bit like "aw shucks" or "well, gee thanks!"
It is the adorable way to say thank you. Of course, that may only be a thing in Canada.
"Merci bien" is a bit like "aw shucks" or "well, gee thanks!"
It is the adorable way to say thank you. Of course, that may only be a thing in Canada.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Yes--congrats to Pogo and his special lady friend! May you cherish each others faces for many many years to come. L'Chaim!
Yes--congrats to Pogo and his special lady friend! May you cherish each others faces for many many years to come. L'Chaim!
pogo
+0 -0
"aw shucks"
"aw shucks"
pravda
+0 -1
The music was perfect, it was classical.
For some reason I hear Chopin's Prelude No. 15 playing during all this, the crescendo coming as Phillipe looks down to see his pants wet, the dark embarrassing puddle dripping down his leg like tears in rain.
The music was perfect, it was classical.
For some reason I hear Chopin's Prelude No. 15 playing during all this, the crescendo coming as Phillipe looks down to see his pants wet, the dark embarrassing puddle dripping down his leg like tears in rain.
hamscout
+0 -0
As he kept repeating the shot of Roast Beef's face, I was hearing the music from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", as they flash between Cameron's face and the zoom-in-shots of the Seurat painting.
As he kept repeating the shot of Roast Beef's face, I was hearing the music from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", as they flash between Cameron's face and the zoom-in-shots of the Seurat painting.
asobi
+1 -1
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (instrumental), Dream Theater
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (instrumental), Dream Theater
asobi
+0 -0
Alright, alright, I deserved that lame. It's "Dream Academy", not "Dream Theater".
Alright, alright, I deserved that lame. It's "Dream Academy", not "Dream Theater".
gormster
+0 -0
oh thank god
if you put a wedding to dream theatre i might have shot you
you know, accidentally-on-purpose
oh thank god
if you put a wedding to dream theatre i might have shot you
you know, accidentally-on-purpose
blueloggy
+0 -0
You mean "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" by The Smiths?
You mean "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" by The Smiths?
foetus_punch
+1 -0
The Passenger, Iggy Pop. Approaches crescendo as Molly walks down the aisle. Reaches intensity peak as they kiss and then fades away as they walk off through the beautiful, beautiful gauntlet of smiles.
The Passenger, Iggy Pop. Approaches crescendo as Molly walks down the aisle. Reaches intensity peak as they kiss and then fades away as they walk off through the beautiful, beautiful gauntlet of smiles.
tommythebrat
+1 -0
If it was up to Roast Beef it would be this that plays: https://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LN4BGzYYmAg
I still think the Ramones should be presented in some way at this wedding.
If it was up to Roast Beef it would be this that plays: https://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LN4BGzYYmAg
I still think the Ramones should be presented in some way at this wedding.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Man, I was right. The Passenger does flow real nicely with this. You just have to read it very slowly, savouring it and imagining what is happening and reminiscing on what has happened. It is so perfect that I timed it so that Iggy would start singing on that first zoom in on RB's face, and then sang through out the flashbacks. So perfect.
Man, I was right. The Passenger does flow real nicely with this. You just have to read it very slowly, savouring it and imagining what is happening and reminiscing on what has happened. It is so perfect that I timed it so that Iggy would start singing on that first zoom in on RB's face, and then sang through out the flashbacks. So perfect.
dskim
+0 -0
The part in minor? Hmmmm. I see Roast Beef's whole life as a bit more like the 4th ballade, the wedding like the second movement of the 1st concerto.
Also, I just was watching some show, and they said that at the end of Blade Runner, it actually wans't supposed to be raining. I find that unbelievable, given the line that you referenced.
The part in minor? Hmmmm. I see Roast Beef's whole life as a bit more like the 4th ballade, the wedding like the second movement of the 1st concerto.
Also, I just was watching some show, and they said that at the end of Blade Runner, it actually wans't supposed to be raining. I find that unbelievable, given the line that you referenced.
smugairle
+0 -2
Even though we know that Molly and Beef's time together will end in tears, it takes nothing away from the fact that the little cat from circumstances finally gets a moment of genuine happiness.
This reminds of the strip The Future, when someone joked that it would be the last Achewood ever. If Onstad did plan to just stop, this would probably be the way to go out.
I'm sure he won't though. Pre-pretty sure.
Even though we know that Molly and Beef's time together will end in tears, it takes nothing away from the fact that the little cat from circumstances finally gets a moment of genuine happiness.
This reminds of the strip The Future, when someone joked that it would be the last Achewood ever. If Onstad did plan to just stop, this would probably be the way to go out.
I'm sure he won't though. Pre-pretty sure.
hexjumper
+0 -0
We don't know that it's going to end in tears. Why do you say that?
_Why do you have to go and do a thing?_
We don't know that it's going to end in tears. Why do you say that?
_Why do you have to go and do a thing?_
smugairle
+0 -0
Cause it's implied in the second last panel here . But I might be wrong.
Cause it's implied in the second last panel here . But I might be wrong.
edwell
+129 -1
[IMGS OFF]
ALT TEXT: Tupac's family cancelled his funeral. And hopefully, Little Nephew doesn't know that Ray doesn't know that.
[IMGS OFF]
ALT TEXT: Tupac's family cancelled his funeral. And hopefully, Little Nephew doesn't know that Ray doesn't know that.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
And here I was thinking I couldn't be happier with this strip...
And here I was thinking I couldn't be happier with this strip...
tucky
+1 -0
did you write that dialog yourself? it's not there in the strip.
did you write that dialog yourself? it's not there in the strip.
hedonismbot
+5 -0
Perhaps you aren't familiar with St. Edwell... I have some religious literature I'd like to speak with you about. Please let me in and start the tub
Perhaps you aren't familiar with St. Edwell... I have some religious literature I'd like to speak with you about. Please let me in and start the tub
autrepoupee
+1 -0
This was excellent. Also, not to sound hung-up on arbitrary things like lames/chubbies, but I'm starting to think that perhapsmaybe perhaps maybe just lames comments that they think are funny, because of reasons?
Maybe he's like that slave Caesar had employed that just whispered "you're only a man" in his ear?
This was excellent. Also, not to sound hung-up on arbitrary things like lames/chubbies, but I'm starting to think that perhapsmaybe perhaps maybe just lames comments that they think are funny, because of reasons?
Maybe he's like that slave Caesar had employed that just whispered "you're only a man" in his ear?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Edwell, remember thou art mortal...
Edwell, remember thou art mortal...
irondave
+0 -0
Edwell, that affected me more than the strip. Thanks, thanks a lot.
Edwell, that affected me more than the strip. Thanks, thanks a lot.
kamet
+0 -0
Edwell brought it all full circle. You, sir, are the man.
Edwell brought it all full circle. You, sir, are the man.
kamet
+0 -0
Not to be confused, of course, with The Man.
Not to be confused, of course, with The Man.
erinye
+0 -0
This is a perfect... faux-Achewood strip.
This is a perfect... faux-Achewood strip.
schnappm
+0 -0
What the hell. This is totally awesome. You are a champion
What the hell. This is totally awesome. You are a champion
schnappm
+0 -0
I don't think anyone else here has even gotten the font right so far. Onstad should take you on as an apprentice or something
I don't think anyone else here has even gotten the font right so far. Onstad should take you on as an apprentice or something
drskradley
+0 -0
How the FUCK , Edwell? Dammit.
How the FUCK , Edwell? Dammit.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Homeboy, that is some quality homage right there.
Homeboy, that is some quality homage right there.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
homa-gee
homa-gee
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
dear whoever beat me to the one hundredth chubby:
that's cool.
dear whoever beat me to the one hundredth chubby:
that's cool.
atticusonline
+0 -0
How do you even get lames? This is beyond me.
How do you even get lames? This is beyond me.
krispykorn
+0 -1
It's also implied that Phillipe with never age but I don't think that's going to happen.
It's also implied that Phillipe with never age but I don't think that's going to happen.
theboneorchard
+1 -1
So, is Achewood over?
So, is Achewood over?
endoftheworld
+0 -0
God, no. But I agree that this strip does have a pleasant finality about it.
God, no. But I agree that this strip does have a pleasant finality about it.
pogo
+0 -0
No, but my axe is.
No, but my axe is.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Why do so many people think this? The premium thing that was just released should be enough to show you that Achewood is going on for awhile.
I understand that the wedding might seem like the culmination of a lifetime for one of the characters, but do keep in mind that many remain other than Roast Beef. Besides, Philippe got married and we still see him putzing about like a free man.
IN THE YEAR 2012:
CHUCKLEBOT FINALLY FINDS LOVE...
WHERE LEAST EXPECTED IT!
Why do so many people think this? The premium thing that was just released should be enough to show you that Achewood is going on for awhile.
I understand that the wedding might seem like the culmination of a lifetime for one of the characters, but do keep in mind that many remain other than Roast Beef. Besides, Philippe got married and we still see him putzing about like a free man.
IN THE YEAR 2012:
CHUCKLEBOT FINALLY FINDS LOVE...
WHERE LEAST EXPECTED IT!
octafish
+0 -0
MATT DAMON?
P.S. Marriage is the beginning not the end.
MATT DAMON?
P.S. Marriage is the beginning not the end.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Every end is a beginning. And this is the end of the beginning.
Every end is a beginning. And this is the end of the beginning.
deusoma
+0 -0
So what, with a girl?
So what, with a girl?
envika
+0 -0
What the fuck? As I voted this a 5, it went down from 4.9 to 4.8! WHO DARES GIVE A ROAST BEEF WEDDING LESS THAN A 5?
What the fuck? As I voted this a 5, it went down from 4.9 to 4.8! WHO DARES GIVE A ROAST BEEF WEDDING LESS THAN A 5?
krispykorn
+0 -0
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
westsider8
+0 -0
I thought Philippe's mouth opened in a completely different weird way
I thought Philippe's mouth opened in a completely different weird way
hamscout
+0 -0
That earlier time, he was just opening it.
This time, it is agape in abject horror and embarrassment.
Both creep me out, but this one less so.
That earlier time, he was just opening it.
This time, it is agape in abject horror and embarrassment.
Both creep me out, but this one less so.
krispykorn
+0 -0
Back then, Corenelius would say things like "okey doke."
I think the entire strip has come pretty far.
Back then, Corenelius would say things like "okey doke."
I think the entire strip has come pretty far.
jonmw
+0 -0
NEWSFLASH!
Tacodor has... NOT ... hanged himself with a wilted leek!
NEWSFLASH!
Tacodor has... NOT ... hanged himself with a wilted leek!
never_die
+0 -0
Tacodor: the typo that became a smelly taco stand which went on to become the set of a porno shoot.
Tacodor: the typo that became a smelly taco stand which went on to become the set of a porno shoot.
hamscout
+2 -0
Ladies and gentlemen...
The seduction of... THE TACADOR!!
[IMGS OFF]
yeah...edwell gets the tear-jerking exposition about on-topic material.
I get the dorky sight gags. Such is the life when you are only a Cardinal of Photoshopped Buggery...
Ladies and gentlemen...
The seduction of... THE TACADOR!!
[IMGS OFF]
yeah...edwell gets the tear-jerking exposition about on-topic material.
I get the dorky sight gags. Such is the life when you are only a Cardinal of Photoshopped Buggery...
invidious
+0 -0
Tonight the role of "Tacodor" will be played by John Turturro.
Tonight the role of "Tacodor" will be played by John Turturro.
cromar
+0 -0
NOOOOOOOESSSS... more. chubbies. FroWnS.
NOOOOOOOESSSS... more. chubbies. FroWnS.
pogo
+0 -1
How did you get that shot of Hecci?
How did you get that shot of Hecci?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, that was a low blow.
Pogo's comment was pretty harsh, too.
badum-dum pssssh
Man, that was a low blow.
Pogo's comment was pretty harsh, too.
badum-dum pssssh
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
i started out with a basic taco shape..then added a 't'..then a more different 't'..for..taco..and then used consummate tildes and i came up with...
TACODOOOOOOORRR!!!
[IMGS OFF]
i'm not sure if assetbar is going to chop off the more different 't' so sorry for the possible extra white space.
i started out with a basic taco shape..then added a 't'..then a more different 't'..for..taco..and then used consummate tildes and i came up with...
TACODOOOOOOORRR!!!
[IMGS OFF]
i'm not sure if assetbar is going to chop off the more different 't' so sorry for the possible extra white space.
pogo
+0 -0
A bag of dog poo?
A bag of dog poo?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ouch.
ouch.
dskim
+0 -0
https://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail58.html
https://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail58.html
dskim
+0 -0
Thatched roof coOOOOTTTAGGEESSSS!
Thatched roof coOOOOTTTAGGEESSSS!
endoftheworld
+0 -0
Christ, Teodor. You failed on every conceivable level. I wonder what he's gonna do with the $100,001.
Christ, Teodor. You failed on every conceivable level. I wonder what he's gonna do with the $100,001.
j_smoothhands
+0 -0
A very nice wedding gift.
With a card.
A very nice wedding gift.
With a card.
finish_him
+0 -0
Very nice, Onstad. Well executed. My feelings are megapro.
Very nice, Onstad. Well executed. My feelings are megapro.
fatfatcat
+0 -1
I love ham
I love ham
fablesandblues
+0 -0
L.I.N.C.O.L.N
L.I.N.C.O.L.N
octafish
+19 -0
In order to celebrate the nuptials...
[IMGS OFF]
In order to celebrate the nuptials...
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+1 -0
START AGAAAAAAAAAIINNN OWWW!!!
START AGAAAAAAAAAIINNN OWWW!!!
purplehaze
+0 -1
It's a nice day for a White Wedding.
It's a nice day for a White Wedding.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Hey, little sister, who's your Superman?
Hey, little sister, who's your Superman?
pogo
+0 -0
I used that track at my third wedding.
I used that track at my third wedding.
cromar
+0 -0
It came on as the third song at a wedding reception I was at a couple of weeks ago. Vaguely uncomfortable feelings ensued on my part...
It came on as the third song at a wedding reception I was at a couple of weeks ago. Vaguely uncomfortable feelings ensued on my part...
anomalous3
+0 -0
did you bone the bride or the groom? or.....BOTH?!?!?
did you bone the bride or the groom? or.....BOTH?!?!?
cromar
+0 -0
I received the hell out of their reception.
I received the hell out of their reception.
octafish
+0 -0
I was at a wedding reception where the first song after the bridal waltz was Careless Whispers . Guests stared dumbly at one another in shock, the bride and groom danced on.
I was at a wedding reception where the first song after the bridal waltz was Careless Whispers . Guests stared dumbly at one another in shock, the bride and groom danced on.
jimjams
+0 -0
I'm so happy!
I'm so happy!
deus
+0 -0
i really have no idea what to say.
i really have no idea what to say.
octafish
+0 -0
With further reflection, I have these points to add...
Phillipe's mouth opens up like butterfly wings.
Ray is has his expectant face on just after Molly arrives, I really like this.
Mr Bear needs to say it not spray it.
Beef has lost all the tone from his skinny, junkie like arms.
...and...
Rather than doing a double take, I prefer to believe that Teodor has learned to procreate by dividing himself like single celled organism.
With further reflection, I have these points to add...
Phillipe's mouth opens up like butterfly wings.
Ray is has his expectant face on just after Molly arrives, I really like this.
Mr Bear needs to say it not spray it.
Beef has lost all the tone from his skinny, junkie like arms.
...and...
Rather than doing a double take, I prefer to believe that Teodor has learned to procreate by dividing himself like single celled organism.
edwell
+2 -0
Now that you mention it, Philippe does look like some sort of bullet with butterfly wings.
Now that you mention it, Philippe does look like some sort of bullet with butterfly wings.
hoboninja
+1 -1
More like a boner with butterfly wings, amirite?
More like a boner with butterfly wings, amirite?
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Awesome strip. Though I'm still a little bummed that we never got to see Phillipe's mother.
Awesome strip. Though I'm still a little bummed that we never got to see Phillipe's mother.
promac
+0 -0
Maybe she'll be at the reception, cleaning him up, getting him some ice-cream and then putting him to bed.
Maybe she'll be at the reception, cleaning him up, getting him some ice-cream and then putting him to bed.
talix18
+0 -0
Jesus Christ, boy.
Jesus Christ, boy.
zoom
+0 -0
This is a thing of beauty.
This is a thing of beauty.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I once declared that the background music to the proposal arc was The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. For this strip, it's The Lengths by The Black Keys.
Keep on rockin' Roast Beef.
I once declared that the background music to the proposal arc was The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. For this strip, it's The Lengths by The Black Keys.
Keep on rockin' Roast Beef.
never_die
+0 -0
fuck yes The Trapeze Swinger.
proclaim on The Trapeze Swinger.
fuck yes The Trapeze Swinger.
proclaim on The Trapeze Swinger.
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, The Lengths. You are the only Black Keys song in the world that I sometimes skip. I don't skip you all the time, but, look, man, you're kinda boring.
Oh, The Lengths. You are the only Black Keys song in the world that I sometimes skip. I don't skip you all the time, but, look, man, you're kinda boring.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
(outside) I used to think you were cool because you listened to The Black Keys,
(inside) then I found out you skip "The Lengths".
I'm sorry we can't be friends, please return your "Cool Kid Card" at your earliest convenience.
(back) I mean seriously, have you no soul?
(outside) I used to think you were cool because you listened to The Black Keys,
(inside) then I found out you skip "The Lengths".
I'm sorry we can't be friends, please return your "Cool Kid Card" at your earliest convenience.
(back) I mean seriously, have you no soul?
falseprophet
+1 -0
The Black Keys are awesome. Same time though, probably the best songs they recorded was their EP of Junior Kimbrough covers. Especially "Meet Me In The City" and "My Mind Is Ramblin'."
I am the king of playlists, however. In terms of something for hardrockin' and bootknockin' you cannot surpass "All Hands Against His Own."
The Black Keys are awesome. Same time though, probably the best songs they recorded was their EP of Junior Kimbrough covers. Especially "Meet Me In The City" and "My Mind Is Ramblin'."
I am the king of playlists, however. In terms of something for hardrockin' and bootknockin' you cannot surpass "All Hands Against His Own."
sdskyle
+0 -0
Amen. Chulahoma is my favorite Black Keys record. Love all their stuff for the most part, though.
Amen. Chulahoma is my favorite Black Keys record. Love all their stuff for the most part, though.
loneal
+0 -0
But...but..."Girl Is On My Mind"! "Set You Free"! "Leavin' Trunk"!!
THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE A CHOICE
But...but..."Girl Is On My Mind"! "Set You Free"! "Leavin' Trunk"!!
THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE A CHOICE
bixschmix
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm gonna concur with "Set You Free." Phenomenal song.
Yeah, I'm gonna concur with "Set You Free." Phenomenal song.
loneal
+0 -0
Can I say how awesome it is that so many people listen to the Black Keys? When I first got into those motherfuckers, you couldn't even find their lyrics online. My best friend and I went to see them play in San Francisco four or five years ago, and we didn't have to wait in line, and there were so few people when we got there that we just went right up to the stage. I have been trying to spread the gospel and get them rich this whole time and now all of a sudden they are opening for Radiohead and everyone on Assetbar has a favorite song. What I'm saying is: I take personal responsibility for every speck of their popularity.
Can I say how awesome it is that so many people listen to the Black Keys? When I first got into those motherfuckers, you couldn't even find their lyrics online. My best friend and I went to see them play in San Francisco four or five years ago, and we didn't have to wait in line, and there were so few people when we got there that we just went right up to the stage. I have been trying to spread the gospel and get them rich this whole time and now all of a sudden they are opening for Radiohead and everyone on Assetbar has a favorite song. What I'm saying is: I take personal responsibility for every speck of their popularity.
falseprophet
+1 -1
Quote:
[IMGS OFF]
"Bitch what the fuck did you just say?"
Quote:
I take personal responsibility for every speck of their popularity.
[IMGS OFF]
"Bitch what the fuck did you just say?"
loneal
+0 -0
Yeah, I went there.
Yeah, I went there.
techiebabe
+0 -0
Achilles...I think this is our comeuppance for all our metal-related Assetbar conversations...
Achilles...I think this is our comeuppance for all our metal-related Assetbar conversations...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, when I read a music-related thread my eyes pretty much start to glaze over at the point that I realize that it will not in any way relate to medieval battles, sorcery, death and destruction, or fantasy creatures. Why would you want to sing about anything else?
Btw, I saw the At the Gates reunion show last Wednesday, and it made me even happier than being addressed by the girl with the Kitty Nom Nom avatar.
Yea, when I read a music-related thread my eyes pretty much start to glaze over at the point that I realize that it will not in any way relate to medieval battles, sorcery, death and destruction, or fantasy creatures. Why would you want to sing about anything else?
Btw, I saw the At the Gates reunion show last Wednesday, and it made me even happier than being addressed by the girl with the Kitty Nom Nom avatar.
snidedk
+0 -0
I've got a Blind Guardian CD with your name on it elbox...
(it is my secret shame that there was a time that I listened to groups like Luca Turili, Manowar, the aforementioned BG, and countless others. At the time I was some 15 years old and spent all my free time playing Everquest, so I think my indiscretion should be overlooked.)
I've got a Blind Guardian CD with your name on it elbox...
(it is my secret shame that there was a time that I listened to groups like Luca Turili, Manowar, the aforementioned BG, and countless others. At the time I was some 15 years old and spent all my free time playing Everquest, so I think my indiscretion should be overlooked.)
techiebabe
+0 -0
I'm still hoping to go in two weeks...
Says the woman who has no tickets.
I'm still hoping to go in two weeks...
Says the woman who has no tickets.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I smile like a fool every time I picture kittyNOMNOM listening to hardcore shit, throwing the horns, and just chewing the hell outta that corn.
I smile like a fool every time I picture kittyNOMNOM listening to hardcore shit, throwing the horns, and just chewing the hell outta that corn.
techiebabe
+0 -0
Why Hedonismbot, stop trying to get me in your basement, you charmer, you.
Why Hedonismbot, stop trying to get me in your basement, you charmer, you.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Um, I've got lots of corn. And air conditioning. You people like AC right? Uh, Manowar is playing a concert down there later this week? Any of this working?
Um, I've got lots of corn. And air conditioning. You people like AC right? Uh, Manowar is playing a concert down there later this week? Any of this working?
techiebabe
+0 -0
You had me at air conditioning.
(You people? I'm not actually a cat, you know. Some people on here remember me having an actual picture of myself on hand/face weekend.)
Mmmm, Manowar...
You had me at air conditioning.
(You people? I'm not actually a cat, you know. Some people on here remember me having an actual picture of myself on hand/face weekend.)
Mmmm, Manowar...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
But it's so much more fun to think of you as a hungry, hungry kitty. Just like I want people to think of me as the talking gold couch from Futurama
But it's so much more fun to think of you as a hungry, hungry kitty. Just like I want people to think of me as the talking gold couch from Futurama
techiebabe
+0 -0
Would I be allowed out for metal shows? And do I get to play with Loneal too?
Would I be allowed out for metal shows? And do I get to play with Loneal too?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You can go to metal shows that I approve. Growling is okay, but too much screaming is not. If they abuse triple-kicks, it is not okay. Slipknot is never okay.
As for loneal, of course you can play with her. You can dress her up, stick wigs on her, pose her in all sorts of ways. I'm thinking of getting the 1950s housewife kit to go with her, so we can show her cleaning the house and baking pies and pregnant and such. It'll be so much fun!
You can go to metal shows that I approve. Growling is okay, but too much screaming is not. If they abuse triple-kicks, it is not okay. Slipknot is never okay.
As for loneal, of course you can play with her. You can dress her up, stick wigs on her, pose her in all sorts of ways. I'm thinking of getting the 1950s housewife kit to go with her, so we can show her cleaning the house and baking pies and pregnant and such. It'll be so much fun!
preston
+0 -0
"You're the One" could be just as apt. And it's just as boring (I like it anyway)
"You're the One" could be just as apt. And it's just as boring (I like it anyway)
loneal
+0 -0
It's not as boring, I don't think. The drums keep it interesting, even though they are spare. And "The Lengths" is only kinda boring.
It's not as boring, I don't think. The drums keep it interesting, even though they are spare. And "The Lengths" is only kinda boring.
falseprophet
+6 -1
She made it clear that it was her aspiration to be the Vile Country Woman in every mildly misogynistic blues song, leavin behind many a no-account fool who could fit his tiny dick into his empty wallet and didn't have nuthin but a guitar and the wherewithal to string some rhymes together. She liked the "Leavin Trunks" but had neither the time nor the sentimentality for "The Lengths," 'cause that's just how a Vile Country Woman is: always strollin down the train tracks with her often-sought-after but rarely-attained pussy, not that she withheld it from men oh no it is just that she knew where to find plenty of strapping, muscly intellectuals to bed with for several nights and still have room in her schedule to fit the insincere cunnilingus her feminism demanded of her. But meanwhile the last man she left is makin his money and improvin his art with the songs she didn't like, boredly bonin many a groupie, turning on a switch in his mind that made him think of his lost Vile Country Woman's swishin ass so he can cum and get whatever tiny screamin girl that has stumbled into his hotel room to stumble the fuck back out; recording a whole platinum album founded the long hazy memory of that seven-month fling, searchin in vain but can't find a country woman as vile as her or a vile woman as country as her, layin awake at night wonderin if she ever found a man that she could ever settle down with, but hopin she hasn't and never will not just out of bitterness but so that the winds might carry her into his arms for just one more night. He wouldn't even bother playin the new songs he'd written for her because they wouldn't keep her around any longer than she planned to stay, and after what she did he doesn't owe her another damn note. It is all he can tell himself to believe he's his own man now. The best lie he's got is sayin "Naw these songs wasn't for you." And if he said they were, she'd just zip that pussy right back up and be on her way down those tracks even faster than before. 'Cause that's just how a Vile Country Woman is.
She made it clear that it was her aspiration to be the Vile Country Woman in every mildly misogynistic blues song, leavin behind many a no-account fool who could fit his tiny dick into his empty wallet and didn't have nuthin but a guitar and the wherewithal to string some rhymes together. She liked the "Leavin Trunks" but had neither the time nor the sentimentality for "The Lengths," 'cause that's just how a Vile Country Woman is: always strollin down the train tracks with her often-sought-after but rarely-attained pussy, not that she withheld it from men oh no it is just that she knew where to find plenty of strapping, muscly intellectuals to bed with for several nights and still have room in her schedule to fit the insincere cunnilingus her feminism demanded of her. But meanwhile the last man she left is makin his money and improvin his art with the songs she didn't like, boredly bonin many a groupie, turning on a switch in his mind that made him think of his lost Vile Country Woman's swishin ass so he can cum and get whatever tiny screamin girl that has stumbled into his hotel room to stumble the fuck back out; recording a whole platinum album founded the long hazy memory of that seven-month fling, searchin in vain but can't find a country woman as vile as her or a vile woman as country as her, layin awake at night wonderin if she ever found a man that she could ever settle down with, but hopin she hasn't and never will not just out of bitterness but so that the winds might carry her into his arms for just one more night. He wouldn't even bother playin the new songs he'd written for her because they wouldn't keep her around any longer than she planned to stay, and after what she did he doesn't owe her another damn note. It is all he can tell himself to believe he's his own man now. The best lie he's got is sayin "Naw these songs wasn't for you." And if he said they were, she'd just zip that pussy right back up and be on her way down those tracks even faster than before. 'Cause that's just how a Vile Country Woman is.
edwell
+0 -0
A no-account fool beats a twelve-new-ones-a-day fool.
A no-account fool beats a twelve-new-ones-a-day fool.
falseprophet
+0 -0
A twelve-new-ones-a-day fool? You mean like Jason Bourne ?
A twelve-new-ones-a-day fool? You mean like Jason Bourne ?
loneal
+0 -0
HUUUGE chubby.
HUUUGE chubby.
pogo
+0 -0
I'm stayin' the fuck OUT of that cunt-ry!
I'm stayin' the fuck OUT of that cunt-ry!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You got a convincing voice going on here, I love reading your stuff... when's the collection of short stories coming out?
You got a convincing voice going on here, I love reading your stuff... when's the collection of short stories coming out?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Aw shucks woodenteeth you know I ain't got such as a book deal or an agent or even a old white guy in a turtleneck inviting me to his wine-tasting get-together.
I don't know if I've linked you to this before but you can read the first two chapters of my eight-chapter novella [url= https://faultywiring.wordpress.com/intertextuality/minstrel-excerpt/]here[/url]. I have the entire novella on that blog as a private file -- just have to figure out how to make it accessible to paying readers or some shit.
Aw shucks woodenteeth you know I ain't got such as a book deal or an agent or even a old white guy in a turtleneck inviting me to his wine-tasting get-together.
I don't know if I've linked you to this before but you can read the first two chapters of my eight-chapter novella [url= https://faultywiring.wordpress.com/intertextuality/minstrel-excerpt/]here[/url]. I have the entire novella on that blog as a private file -- just have to figure out how to make it accessible to paying readers or some shit.
falseprophet
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+1 -0
www.asofterworld.com
Check that dude out for making monies off partial novellas. Joey Comeau. Guys produces some pretty good gritty prose. Go to the About Section on that website.
You're welcome.
www.asofterworld.com
Check that dude out for making monies off partial novellas. Joey Comeau. Guys produces some pretty good gritty prose. Go to the About Section on that website.
You're welcome.
snidedk
+0 -0
V-Chub for picking the perfect music for this strip.
Also for the Black Keys in general.
V-Chub for picking the perfect music for this strip.
Also for the Black Keys in general.
sncether
+1 -0
"Bridal Chorus" aka Wedding March
come on people. this is basic.
"Bridal Chorus" aka Wedding March
come on people. this is basic.
inthetunk
+1 -1
Epic!
Epic!
mycroft64
+1 -0
Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. still rocks severely, even if he's only in one postage-stamp sized frame as a flashback.
Shine on, you crazy diamond.
Notorious L.I.N.C.O.L.N. still rocks severely, even if he's only in one postage-stamp sized frame as a flashback.
Shine on, you crazy diamond.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Achewood stamps for Roast Beef's cards.
USPS efficiency triples, "going postal" incidents drop by 89%.
Achewood stamps for Roast Beef's cards.
USPS efficiency triples, "going postal" incidents drop by 89%.
hamscout
+0 -0
...sorting and delivery productivity drops sharply in the winter months with the advent of the S.O.-S.A.D. stamp...
Beef, honey, are you so depressed you can't finish licking the stamp?
...sorting and delivery productivity drops sharply in the winter months with the advent of the S.O.-S.A.D. stamp...
Beef, honey, are you so depressed you can't finish licking the stamp?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
oh. it's stuck there, baby. how long have you been here? listen, i'll make you a deal, if you try to think about something good to eat without too much sodium and it makes your mouth water enough i think your tongue will moisten so that i can pull the stamp off. do you think you can do that for me?
oh. it's stuck there, baby. how long have you been here? listen, i'll make you a deal, if you try to think about something good to eat without too much sodium and it makes your mouth water enough i think your tongue will moisten so that i can pull the stamp off. do you think you can do that for me?
gin_with_bears
+0 -0
Bravo!
Bravo!
squares
+0 -0
I'm pretty much speechless.
....a severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I'm pretty much speechless.
....a severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
nihraguk
+0 -0
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
seren_tremio
+0 -0
sniff
y
you guys.
seriously
you guys
sniff
y
you guys.
seriously
you guys
purplehaze
+0 -0
I love you too, man.
I love you too, man.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Thank you Chris, for not only creating one of the best, most heartwarming AND funniest strips in Achewood's run, but also creating the first strip that can probably never ever be transcribed.
Although I won't be happy unless there is more Achewood. This would be a nice note to end it on, but at least give us an epilogue. Shit, even the Wonder Years had an epilogue. Don't just pull a Dinosaurs on us and spring the Ice Age on Achewood.
I can picture Chris with tears in his eyes drawing this. Any chance the framed copies have tear stains on them?
Thank you Chris, for not only creating one of the best, most heartwarming AND funniest strips in Achewood's run, but also creating the first strip that can probably never ever be transcribed.
Although I won't be happy unless there is more Achewood. This would be a nice note to end it on, but at least give us an epilogue. Shit, even the Wonder Years had an epilogue. Don't just pull a Dinosaurs on us and spring the Ice Age on Achewood.
I can picture Chris with tears in his eyes drawing this. Any chance the framed copies have tear stains on them?
sncether
+4 -0
Vials of Chris Onstad's tears are one of the many unmentioned perks of the Achewood Premium Updates Fanflow.
Spoiler: his teardrops cure clubfoot, hammertoe, wiggle-shin--basically any podiatric ailment advertised on the subway.
Vials of Chris Onstad's tears are one of the many unmentioned perks of the Achewood Premium Updates Fanflow.
Spoiler: his teardrops cure clubfoot, hammertoe, wiggle-shin--basically any podiatric ailment advertised on the subway.
thegoblins
+1 -0
Nnnnooo! Podiatry school was my last hope!
Nnnnooo! Podiatry school was my last hope!
sncether
+0 -0
Looks like it's back to dentistry for you!
Mom and Dad will be so disappointed. I bet the tutor won't even hang up your picture
Looks like it's back to dentistry for you!
Mom and Dad will be so disappointed. I bet the tutor won't even hang up your picture
deovalente
+0 -0
Dude. This is SO asshole-ish of you. Her dreams are CRUSHED.
...But you're most likely right.
Dude. This is SO asshole-ish of you. Her dreams are CRUSHED.
...But you're most likely right.
hamscout
+0 -0
*holds up vial*
It worked great on my pimp skitters!
*holds up vial*
It worked great on my pimp skitters!
dudesstew
+2 -0
Honestly if Achewood would stop updating after this (god forbit) this would really be the perfect strip to end on.
Honestly if Achewood would stop updating after this (god forbit) this would really be the perfect strip to end on.
ghostlystate
+1 -0
Phillipe's horrified face is one of my favorite things in the world.
Phillipe's horrified face is one of my favorite things in the world.
squares
+0 -0
i agree. and i love how he can make so many different horrified faces.
i agree. and i love how he can make so many different horrified faces.
nabeel84
+1 -0
My feelings on this asset are pro.
My feelings on this asset are pro.
flipper_the_dolphin_bitch
+3 -0
Ha! I'm getting married in three weeks, and have been have one Roast Beef moment after another. This arc, and ESPECIALLY this strip has seriously helped my nerves. If Roast Beef can get through the wedding without blowing, there's hope!
Ha! I'm getting married in three weeks, and have been have one Roast Beef moment after another. This arc, and ESPECIALLY this strip has seriously helped my nerves. If Roast Beef can get through the wedding without blowing, there's hope!
pogo
+0 -0
Beef can still blow the reception all to heck. (I hope someone does! It's all too saccharine sweet.)
Beef can still blow the reception all to heck. (I hope someone does! It's all too saccharine sweet.)
loneal
+3 -0
Yeah jeez I am so sick of weddings with pants-pissing, cigarette-lighting, and flashbacks to seismically traumatic childhoods. It's like, Wow, could you tone it down a little? All this sugar is cloying.
Yeah jeez I am so sick of weddings with pants-pissing, cigarette-lighting, and flashbacks to seismically traumatic childhoods. It's like, Wow, could you tone it down a little? All this sugar is cloying.
cromar
+0 -0
WE WANT BLOOD
WE WANT BLOOD
loneal
+0 -0
There will be it.
There will be it.
cromar
+1 -0
Oh sweet. OK, then.
Oh sweet. OK, then.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Am I the only person hoping that Onstad would just kind of forego the somewhat superfluous ceremony strip and move right on to the reception?
I mean, I know I am... But am I?
Am I the only person hoping that Onstad would just kind of forego the somewhat superfluous ceremony strip and move right on to the reception?
I mean, I know I am... But am I?
cromar
+0 -0
NO
Where is lawbot these days anyway?!
NO
Where is lawbot these days anyway?!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Dead. At the hands of the Czech Mafia. And their handsome contractor.
Dead. At the hands of the Czech Mafia. And their handsome contractor.
doc_rostov
+15 -2
Heyo! Decent Idea Alert!
Pogo's point, as far as I understand it, is that this strip is essentially 47 panels of "Hey, folks. Beef got over all this crap to get where he is. Right now, everything's perfect!" It doesn't need to be a Huey Lewis song for it to be a bit saccharine. Consider this strip compared to Achewood strips in the past. There's a certain lack of the usual comical absurdity here.
Of course, if you compare it to other comics and works, there is certainly a modicum of absurdity present. Todd and the cigarette, the idea itself of cats getting married, et cetera. But that is absurd in the same sense that the animals talking in Get Fuzzy are absurd. It's only absurd in considered in a different construct; within the constructs of the universe, it's reasonable and even a bit bland. As the universe becomes larger and larger, the comic becomes less groundbreaking and more stagnant. A higher-class Garfield for a smarter audience.
The point is similar to what fasteddie was saying yesterday. The universe itself is creating a prison for the characters. It's what bested Bill Watterson and what has sapped much of Berke Breathed's humor and tact. When a good (or even merely decent) writer begins a long-running absurd work, their best output tends to be at the beginning, before the world of their work has a chance to impose itself as a roadblock to their creativity. All authors try to get around it in a different way. Some succeed, as Camus did when he wrote short vignettes instead of long. And some, like Gogol, just go crazy trying to write long stories and end up dying horrible deaths.
The point is that Achewood used to be a veritable theater of the absurd. It isn't anywhere close to that, not anymore. Some may like it more, some may like it less. But there is no denying that time has produced quite a different Achewood than that of years past. And, yes, some of us do miss when Achewood was a burgeoning absurdist piece that asked more questions than it answered, a work of comedic art that held no peerage in the genre. And, I mean, I liked this strip. Missing the past doesn't mean we don't enjoy or appreciate the now. But we sing Auld Lang Syne all the same.
Heyo! Decent Idea Alert!
Pogo's point, as far as I understand it, is that this strip is essentially 47 panels of "Hey, folks. Beef got over all this crap to get where he is. Right now, everything's perfect!" It doesn't need to be a Huey Lewis song for it to be a bit saccharine. Consider this strip compared to Achewood strips in the past. There's a certain lack of the usual comical absurdity here.
Of course, if you compare it to other comics and works, there is certainly a modicum of absurdity present. Todd and the cigarette, the idea itself of cats getting married, et cetera. But that is absurd in the same sense that the animals talking in Get Fuzzy are absurd. It's only absurd in considered in a different construct; within the constructs of the universe, it's reasonable and even a bit bland. As the universe becomes larger and larger, the comic becomes less groundbreaking and more stagnant. A higher-class Garfield for a smarter audience.
The point is similar to what fasteddie was saying yesterday. The universe itself is creating a prison for the characters. It's what bested Bill Watterson and what has sapped much of Berke Breathed's humor and tact. When a good (or even merely decent) writer begins a long-running absurd work, their best output tends to be at the beginning, before the world of their work has a chance to impose itself as a roadblock to their creativity. All authors try to get around it in a different way. Some succeed, as Camus did when he wrote short vignettes instead of long. And some, like Gogol, just go crazy trying to write long stories and end up dying horrible deaths.
The point is that Achewood used to be a veritable theater of the absurd. It isn't anywhere close to that, not anymore. Some may like it more, some may like it less. But there is no denying that time has produced quite a different Achewood than that of years past. And, yes, some of us do miss when Achewood was a burgeoning absurdist piece that asked more questions than it answered, a work of comedic art that held no peerage in the genre. And, I mean, I liked this strip. Missing the past doesn't mean we don't enjoy or appreciate the now. But we sing Auld Lang Syne all the same.
dskim
+0 -0
Hmmm, I feel like the last 10 days of March were of the absurd flavor. The Shrovis-Bishipthorpe caper?
I can appreciate the difference in the flavor, though. Those ones from 2001 are so short and sweet sometime. That was almost never recaptured. And there are so many classics around 2005, I think.
Hmmm, I feel like the last 10 days of March were of the absurd flavor. The Shrovis-Bishipthorpe caper?
I can appreciate the difference in the flavor, though. Those ones from 2001 are so short and sweet sometime. That was almost never recaptured. And there are so many classics around 2005, I think.
nabeel84
+2 -0
While I applaud you for writing so well for a point that many refuse to hear, I have some addendums.
I don't feel that Achewood necessarily was an absurdist comic. The very beginnings were, and I'm not going to lie, they weren't the best. They were surprising of course, but not always good. And the longer it goes there is less for the author to surprise us with. But then, to me, Achewood came to its most satisfying part - when it was a character piece. By the time we all knew the characters, and most importantly, Onstad knew the characters, their interactions became the highlight of the comic. I think the interactions between Ray and Roast Beef became an art form in an of themselves. But of course you need a funny, surprising topic to talk about. So I would say Achewood isn't suffering from lack of absurdity, it is suffering a lack of original ideas for the characters to react around. Lately it's been all the wedding, or random crap (Shrovis-Bishopthorpe was not great, to me). I hope once the wedding is over, it will go back to surprising us with situations, and entertaining us with the characters.
While I applaud you for writing so well for a point that many refuse to hear, I have some addendums.
I don't feel that Achewood necessarily was an absurdist comic. The very beginnings were, and I'm not going to lie, they weren't the best. They were surprising of course, but not always good. And the longer it goes there is less for the author to surprise us with. But then, to me, Achewood came to its most satisfying part - when it was a character piece. By the time we all knew the characters, and most importantly, Onstad knew the characters, their interactions became the highlight of the comic. I think the interactions between Ray and Roast Beef became an art form in an of themselves. But of course you need a funny, surprising topic to talk about. So I would say Achewood isn't suffering from lack of absurdity, it is suffering a lack of original ideas for the characters to react around. Lately it's been all the wedding, or random crap (Shrovis-Bishopthorpe was not great, to me). I hope once the wedding is over, it will go back to surprising us with situations, and entertaining us with the characters.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...that Achewood necessarily was an absurdist comic.
man it ain't dead. quit the past-tense.
...that Achewood necessarily was an absurdist comic.
man it ain't dead. quit the past-tense.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
what i mean is:
dude you are frightening me please stop it.
what i mean is:
dude you are frightening me please stop it.
mollybloom11
+0 -0
So far no cousin Oliver yet... so we have that going for us.
So far no cousin Oliver yet... so we have that going for us.
pogo
+0 -0
Nice expansion on my point, thanks. And I see Onstad is prepping us for a kick-ass reception in the notes above the login view. Whee!
Nice expansion on my point, thanks. And I see Onstad is prepping us for a kick-ass reception in the notes above the login view. Whee!
henrietta
+0 -0
you capture my essence with your prose in a way the dark crystal never could
you capture my essence with your prose in a way the dark crystal never could
dskim
+0 -0
Actually, I've been really nervous that somehow Showbiz made bail. Let's hope we don't hear from him any time soon.
Actually, I've been really nervous that somehow Showbiz made bail. Let's hope we don't hear from him any time soon.
octafish
+0 -0
Well I'm glad Andy got an invite even if he still hasn't had pierogi at Vlad's.
Well I'm glad Andy got an invite even if he still hasn't had pierogi at Vlad's.
aparrish
+0 -0
But wtf is he wearing? Looks like a sewing pattern for a pillowcase. I'll never understand robot fashion.
But wtf is he wearing? Looks like a sewing pattern for a pillowcase. I'll never understand robot fashion.
genocidefish
+4 -0
Ah, a montage comic that doesn't leave me laughing at a woman having a miscarriage... THIS is how it's done, Tim Buckley...
Ah, a montage comic that doesn't leave me laughing at a woman having a miscarriage... THIS is how it's done, Tim Buckley...
tommythebrat
+0 -0
I need to Onstad to make a page long explanation of this comic and why he did it!
I need to Onstad to make a page long explanation of this comic and why he did it!
pogo
+0 -0
You need to Onstad? That's a verb now?
You need to Onstad? That's a verb now?
tommythebrat
+0 -0
....yes.
....yes.
stereo
+1 -0
NO
NO
tommythebrat
+0 -0
I am going to Onstad over to a dictionary and prove you wrong!
I am going to Onstad over to a dictionary and prove you wrong!
varnish
+0 -0
Even the tuxedo'd aibos look well pleased.
Even the tuxedo'd aibos look well pleased.
lucidz
+0 -0
AWESOME
AWESOME
zombiezero
+0 -0
- nod -
- nod -
paby
+0 -0
Well. Damn.
Well. Damn.
sleshy
+2 -0
He married the hell out of that woman.
He married the hell out of that woman.
gyrate
+0 -0
She does look like she's had the hell married out of her.
She does look like she's had the hell married out of her.
thegoblins
+0 -1
It was the right decision.
[IMGS OFF]
It was the right decision.
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+4 -2
let this work, assetbar? Please?
[IMGS OFF]
let this work, assetbar? Please?
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
A comment left by hedonismbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, featurelessvoid, theguitarhero)
A comment left by hedonismbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, featurelessvoid, theguitarhero)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dude, that was just creepy and unfunny, Hedonismbot.
My feelings are very very con.
Dude, that was just creepy and unfunny, Hedonismbot.
My feelings are very very con.
loneal
+1 -0
Don't worry, theguitarhero. My closet lesbian incisors are very sharp and very averse to male sexuality, so I should be able to defend myself. Also they have regenerative powers like those of a shark, so if you take them out, they'll just keep growing back in ad almost infinitum. Hedonismbot will just have to hope they don't pop out of my gums at the most inconvenient of times .
Don't worry, theguitarhero. My closet lesbian incisors are very sharp and very averse to male sexuality, so I should be able to defend myself. Also they have regenerative powers like those of a shark, so if you take them out, they'll just keep growing back in ad almost infinitum. Hedonismbot will just have to hope they don't pop out of my gums at the most inconvenient of times .
thorfinn
+0 -0
Sharks don't have regenerating teeth, they just have many rows of teeth that move into the place of the old ones as they fall out.
Sharks don't have regenerating teeth, they just have many rows of teeth that move into the place of the old ones as they fall out.
loneal
+0 -0
Isn't that, like, the definition of regenerating teeth?
Isn't that, like, the definition of regenerating teeth?
thorfinn
+0 -0
The teeth aren't magically growing back, they're already there, they just have to move into place,
The teeth aren't magically growing back, they're already there, they just have to move into place,
thegoblins
+0 -0
So it's kind of like ovaries! All the eggs you'll ever need! And yet no child to brighten your cold post-menopausal years.
So it's kind of like ovaries! All the eggs you'll ever need! And yet no child to brighten your cold post-menopausal years.
irondave
+0 -0
All together now...
Look who's being a dick about terms!
All together now...
Look who's being a dick about terms!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I just found out the teeth thing is true. Seriously guys, I completely regret the crap I just tried to pull on loneal. It took four doctors and a priest to fix me up down there. The horror...
I just found out the teeth thing is true. Seriously guys, I completely regret the crap I just tried to pull on loneal. It took four doctors and a priest to fix me up down there. The horror...
octafish
+2 -0
Surely you meant "...four doctors and a moyle ...".
Surely you meant "...four doctors and a moyle ...".
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh excellent. Perhaps some sort of anti-moyle. Chubbs for you
Oh excellent. Perhaps some sort of anti-moyle. Chubbs for you
drskradley
+0 -0
But seriously, does this mean that you two...have totally done oral on each other? Or intend to?
That's some sitcom-like opposites-attract hateful-sex hookup, right there. I hope it eventually happens. All hating each other for the better part of six months until you end up banging the dickens out of each other on the photocopier at the office non-religious-holiday-season party.
We just need booze. This can happen. We just need booze.
But seriously, does this mean that you two...have totally done oral on each other? Or intend to?
That's some sitcom-like opposites-attract hateful-sex hookup, right there. I hope it eventually happens. All hating each other for the better part of six months until you end up banging the dickens out of each other on the photocopier at the office non-religious-holiday-season party.
We just need booze. This can happen. We just need booze.
loneal
+3 -0
Man, we ain't hate each other. I mean, I used to hate him, but ever since he let me live in his basement, he's been teaching me about how wrong I've been and how much I actually love him.
Man, we ain't hate each other. I mean, I used to hate him, but ever since he let me live in his basement, he's been teaching me about how wrong I've been and how much I actually love him.
drskradley
+1 -0
Damn, I know you don't hate each other, lady. ('Specially after that fine fuckin' you be givin' each others, AMIRITE?)
But it makes it more comical and increases your weekly viewership if there's sexual tension bubbling underneath genuine disdain.
That's nice of him to teach you such things and to give you a basement, his own basement no less. It shows how much he cares. A lady needs to know how much her man cares about her. How he needs to watch her, keep track of her, make sure nobody hurts her, make sure she doesn't hurt herself . Sometimes, of course, the man has to hurt her in order to keep her from future pain, like if she was going to leave him. No no, that won't do. Not if you truly love the lady. She has to learn, you know? Yeah, I know you know. Unlike Jenny, you understand. Jenny never understood. It's a shame she never can now, but not as much of a shame as if she kept Not Understanding. I'm sorry for it, but my dad always said you have to do what has to be done, you know? Yeah, you know.
Damn, I know you don't hate each other, lady. ('Specially after that fine fuckin' you be givin' each others, AMIRITE?)
But it makes it more comical and increases your weekly viewership if there's sexual tension bubbling underneath genuine disdain.
That's nice of him to teach you such things and to give you a basement, his own basement no less. It shows how much he cares. A lady needs to know how much her man cares about her. How he needs to watch her, keep track of her, make sure nobody hurts her, make sure she doesn't hurt herself . Sometimes, of course, the man has to hurt her in order to keep her from future pain, like if she was going to leave him. No no, that won't do. Not if you truly love the lady. She has to learn, you know? Yeah, I know you know. Unlike Jenny, you understand. Jenny never understood. It's a shame she never can now, but not as much of a shame as if she kept Not Understanding. I'm sorry for it, but my dad always said you have to do what has to be done, you know? Yeah, you know.
hamscout
+2 -0
once Maddie and David kissed, the show went downhill...
once Maddie and David kissed, the show went downhill...
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Given that I was lamed into the dark zone for the first time in a while up above, I feel I should break character just for a sec.
People, loneal and I have been doing this faux-creepy thing for like, months here. She was the only non-tripod to respond to my creepitude early on, so she got the brunt of it since. Something about how she screwed something up and I told her I was going to kill a guy on Lost and steal her hair, and it got going from there. She recently said something about being kidnapped and held in my basement. So I posted something about taking her teeth away, and I think I lost some of the audience.
Seriously, it's just online assholery. We haven't met in real life, and if we did she'd laugh her ass off at my one-legged, 600 pound bulk. She enjoys the rigamarole as much as I do, and you could ask her yourself if I took my sock out of her mouth.
"Awwww, it's okay. He don't ejaculate none."
Given that I was lamed into the dark zone for the first time in a while up above, I feel I should break character just for a sec.
People, loneal and I have been doing this faux-creepy thing for like, months here. She was the only non-tripod to respond to my creepitude early on, so she got the brunt of it since. Something about how she screwed something up and I told her I was going to kill a guy on Lost and steal her hair, and it got going from there. She recently said something about being kidnapped and held in my basement. So I posted something about taking her teeth away, and I think I lost some of the audience.
Seriously, it's just online assholery. We haven't met in real life, and if we did she'd laugh her ass off at my one-legged, 600 pound bulk. She enjoys the rigamarole as much as I do, and you could ask her yourself if I took my sock out of her mouth.
"Awwww, it's okay. He don't ejaculate none."
pogo
+0 -0
The same goes for me, although she's actually like me in person, I'm sure.
The same goes for me, although she's actually like me in person, I'm sure.
pogo
+0 -0
Wierd, I mean she'd actually like me, but my error is probably also true.
Wierd, I mean she'd actually like me, but my error is probably also true.
loneal
+0 -0
We should do this, though. You're somewhere on the East Coast, right? I'm in some forest outside of Albany right now, and all New England states are the same place, right?
We should do this, though. You're somewhere on the East Coast, right? I'm in some forest outside of Albany right now, and all New England states are the same place, right?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Whoa whoa, slow down there Speed Racer. There's a New England?
Whoa whoa, slow down there Speed Racer. There's a New England?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Mmmm, I'll be in NYC all next week, maybe I willhunt you down look you up while I'm there. Or just hire someone on Craigslist who looks just like you. I'm not picky
Mmmm, I'll be in NYC all next week, maybe I will
loneal
+0 -0
It would be kind of hilarious if you actually kidnapped me. All my friends and family would be like, "How could this have happened?" And then some reporters would find Assetbar and be like, "Well, um. Um. See he said...and then she still thought it was a good idea to... Yeah, she pretty much deserved this."
It would be kind of hilarious if you actually kidnapped me. All my friends and family would be like, "How could this have happened?" And then some reporters would find Assetbar and be like, "Well, um. Um. See he said...and then she still thought it was a good idea to... Yeah, she pretty much deserved this."
hedonismbot
+1 -0
In reality you could outrun me. Like I've said, I'm over 600 lbs and the government was careless with my leg once so I have to hop everywhere. Also my fingernails are too long for me to grasp things. You are a youthful dancer-type who could elude me without even meaning too. It would be comical in a bad way. I'm more of a 'lure you in' sort of guy. Did I mention that I have the singer/guitarist from the Black Keys in this hole here? That's right, Dan Auerbach, in his skivvies, right at the bottom of this brick-lined pit under my mansion. Just hop on in, he won't mind.
In reality you could outrun me. Like I've said, I'm over 600 lbs and the government was careless with my leg once so I have to hop everywhere. Also my fingernails are too long for me to grasp things. You are a youthful dancer-type who could elude me without even meaning too. It would be comical in a bad way. I'm more of a 'lure you in' sort of guy. Did I mention that I have the singer/guitarist from the Black Keys in this hole here? That's right, Dan Auerbach, in his skivvies, right at the bottom of this brick-lined pit under my mansion. Just hop on in, he won't mind.
1
+0 -0
pardon me for interrupting, sir. your fingernails... too long? what? where? how? I mean... I... uh?
pardon me for interrupting, sir. your fingernails... too long? what? where? how? I mean... I... uh?
loneal
+0 -0
My only weakness! How did you know?
My only weakness! How did you know?
techiebabe
+0 -0
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Sorry.
It rubs the lotion on its skin
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Please don't stop this running joke. Your stuff is always horribly wrong and the way loneal takes it in her stride is kinda great.
Please don't stop this running joke. Your stuff is always horribly wrong and the way loneal takes it in her stride is kinda great.
loneal
+0 -0
I am glad that you have said this, because I'm pretty sure every single other person on this forum wishes we'd shut the fuck up about it already.
I am glad that you have said this, because I'm pretty sure every single other person on this forum wishes we'd shut the fuck up about it already.
cromar
+0 -0
Naw it is sweet you guys.
Naw it is sweet you guys.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Keep doing it. Porn is getting old, this is the only thing that can keep me rock-hard anymore. Mmmmm...
Keep doing it. Porn is getting old, this is the only thing that can keep me rock-hard anymore. Mmmmm...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Me too, I know I squick out a few people, but I'm glad most see it as some weird running gag thing.
Me too, I know I squick out a few people, but I'm glad most see it as some weird running gag thing.
falseprophet
+0 -0
loneal I'm not going to speak for everyone on this board but here are the honest reasons I'd like you to shut the fuck up about it already:
1. When I was fifteen, I had a long distance internet relationship that ended with my heartbroken because I told her I loved her.
2. The girl I had a crush on freshman year in college dated my suitemate senior year. They stayed together for a while past graduation but then broke up because they couldn't handle a long distance relationship.
3. But on the last night before graduation I tried to kiss the other girl I had a crush on throughout all of college but was rebuked because throughout all of college she had apparently been faithful to her boyfriend in fucking Canada. He was not made up, I met him. He is a really cool dude, therefore, I hate his guts.
4. I developed a crush on a girl at the office who wound up boning a dude at our New York office, and as far as I know they are still in a long distance relationship that is somehow working, probably because she can afford to visit him every weekend while I am scraping funds together living with my parents.
5. Bixtek Industries is doing smashingly on the NASDAQ despite expectations from industry insiders that it would fail.
And on top of that your witty banter with hedonismbot has all the makings of a romantic sub-plot to a bad Hollywood action movie. This is especially irritating to me as an aspiring writer and an internet nerd because I am starting to think that long distance relationships are central to understanding the zeitgeist of our generation. How am I supposed to win a Pulitzer when you're giving me Razzie material woman?!
loneal I'm not going to speak for everyone on this board but here are the honest reasons I'd like you to shut the fuck up about it already:
1. When I was fifteen, I had a long distance internet relationship that ended with my heartbroken because I told her I loved her.
2. The girl I had a crush on freshman year in college dated my suitemate senior year. They stayed together for a while past graduation but then broke up because they couldn't handle a long distance relationship.
3. But on the last night before graduation I tried to kiss the other girl I had a crush on throughout all of college but was rebuked because throughout all of college she had apparently been faithful to her boyfriend in fucking Canada. He was not made up, I met him. He is a really cool dude, therefore, I hate his guts.
4. I developed a crush on a girl at the office who wound up boning a dude at our New York office, and as far as I know they are still in a long distance relationship that is somehow working, probably because she can afford to visit him every weekend while I am scraping funds together living with my parents.
5. Bixtek Industries is doing smashingly on the NASDAQ despite expectations from industry insiders that it would fail.
And on top of that your witty banter with hedonismbot has all the makings of a romantic sub-plot to a bad Hollywood action movie. This is especially irritating to me as an aspiring writer and an internet nerd because I am starting to think that long distance relationships are central to understanding the zeitgeist of our generation. How am I supposed to win a Pulitzer when you're giving me Razzie material woman?!
drskradley
+0 -0
The whiney teen angst song that is your romantic life never ceases to please me thoroughly.
And I think your final section explained better what I was trying to say a few comments up, you eloquent mother fucker.
The whiney teen angst song that is your romantic life never ceases to please me thoroughly.
And I think your final section explained better what I was trying to say a few comments up, you eloquent mother fucker.
falseprophet
+0 -0
But you with your "whiney teen angst song" phrase more succinctly states my literary frustrations (at least on the romance front). Brevity and levity, friends; brevity and levity.
On a note from a complete alternate universe I have All The Sad Young Literary Men by Keith Gessen on my bookshelf just a-givin me the comehither eyes, waitin on me to crack open its virgin cover.
But you with your "whiney teen angst song" phrase more succinctly states my literary frustrations (at least on the romance front). Brevity and levity, friends; brevity and levity.
On a note from a complete alternate universe I have All The Sad Young Literary Men by Keith Gessen on my bookshelf just a-givin me the comehither eyes, waitin on me to crack open its virgin cover.
loneal
+0 -0
What the fuck movies have you been watching? Our jok banter reminds you of romantic subplots ? Did you think that Buffalo Bill shit in Silence of the Lambs was a romantic subplot ? Jesus Christ, boy.
Hedonismbot and I don't have any sort of long-distance relationship. We live in the same house.
(Also in real life, Hedonismbot lives in a house with his wife, and I live close to my boyfriend. No long distance shit here, no sir.)
What the fuck movies have you been watching? Our jok banter reminds you of romantic subplots ? Did you think that Buffalo Bill shit in Silence of the Lambs was a romantic subplot ? Jesus Christ, boy.
Hedonismbot and I don't have any sort of long-distance relationship. We live in the same house.
(Also in real life, Hedonismbot lives in a house with his wife, and I live close to my boyfriend. No long distance shit here, no sir.)
falseprophet
+0 -0
Yeah I guess I was just thinking about that "tension bubbling beneath the surface" that drskradley was referring to himself way up high in the thread's stratosphere. The form, not the content. Though, of course, form is content, as Harold Bloom teaches us.
Note: I have no idea whether Harold Bloom says that shit or not. He said slam poetry is the death of art so fuck him.
Yeah I guess I was just thinking about that "tension bubbling beneath the surface" that drskradley was referring to himself way up high in the thread's stratosphere. The form, not the content. Though, of course, form is content, as Harold Bloom teaches us.
Note: I have no idea whether Harold Bloom says that shit or not. He said slam poetry is the death of art so fuck him.
loneal
+0 -0
His protege was one Camille Paglia. Here's how I feel about Camille Paglia: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING WOMAN GOD IT'S LIKE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT A BUNCH OF LESBIAN SYMBOLISM IN THE POEMS OF WILLIAM BLAKE BUT YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT THAT YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB .
His protege was one Camille Paglia. Here's how I feel about Camille Paglia: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING WOMAN GOD IT'S LIKE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT A BUNCH OF LESBIAN SYMBOLISM IN THE POEMS OF WILLIAM BLAKE BUT YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT THAT YOU'RE FUCKING DUMB .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Really? I mean you'd discount everything else the dude said? I ain't about to psychoanalyze y'all, but seems like a reaction rather strong reaction, no?
Really? I mean you'd discount everything else the dude said? I ain't about to psychoanalyze y'all, but seems like a reaction rather strong reaction, no?
falseprophet
+0 -0
In all honesty, I think his notion that the misreading of poetry can lead to the creation of great poetry is intriguing, as reported on wikipedia, but I have yet to actually subscribe to his newsletter.
He also seems to discount several schools of criticism that I think deserve to be taken seriously, calling them more interested in politics than what he considers real art. I'm skeptical. I suspect that his position is more nuanced than that, but I intend to investigate his criticism more fully once I've gotten through more of the fiction on my reading list.
In all honesty, I think his notion that the misreading of poetry can lead to the creation of great poetry is intriguing, as reported on wikipedia, but I have yet to actually subscribe to his newsletter.
He also seems to discount several schools of criticism that I think deserve to be taken seriously, calling them more interested in politics than what he considers real art. I'm skeptical. I suspect that his position is more nuanced than that, but I intend to investigate his criticism more fully once I've gotten through more of the fiction on my reading list.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Harold Bloom can get fucked. That shit will save art.
OH GOD FUCK HIM!
Harold Bloom can get fucked. That shit will save art.
OH GOD FUCK HIM!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
This whole thread went wildly astray. I talk about tearing out her teeth for mouth-whoopy, and we end with literary anger. I love being around nerds, you kids are alright by me
This whole thread went wildly astray. I talk about tearing out her teeth for mouth-whoopy, and we end with literary anger. I love being around nerds, you kids are alright by me
hedonismbot
+0 -0
also, it is a WILL SOMEONE PLEASE CUCK HAROLD BLOOM Thursday
also, it is a WILL SOMEONE PLEASE CUCK HAROLD BLOOM Thursday
hamscout
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Done.
[IMGS OFF]
Done.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I was asking for that. My knobby, nail-ridden fingers are no good with this keyboard.
I was asking for that. My knobby, nail-ridden fingers are no good with this keyboard.
cromar
+0 -0
OK, that is just kinda creepy!
Well, not really.
OK, that is just kinda creepy!
Well, not really.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Awww, two people didn't like it. I feel bad now.
Awww, two people didn't like it. I feel bad now.
loneal
+0 -0
Tiny thegoblins, don't be sad! You can't please everyone, and you shouldn't have to worry about trying. Sometimes folks are just mean. All you can do is resolve not to be mean like those folks when the opportunity arises.
Tiny thegoblins, don't be sad! You can't please everyone, and you shouldn't have to worry about trying. Sometimes folks are just mean. All you can do is resolve not to be mean like those folks when the opportunity arises.
delzhand
+8 -0
To think, when we first saw Molly the alt text was "cold sit on it ho"...
To think, when we first saw Molly the alt text was "cold sit on it ho"...
dwodles
+0 -0
And wasn't Beef first formally introduced as "The Middle Cat, not Ray or Pat"? They've come so far!
And wasn't Beef first formally introduced as "The Middle Cat, not Ray or Pat"? They've come so far!
saulbellow
+0 -1
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, Amul, morypcaina, loneal, DrSkradley, juanclaudius, vexingrupert, foetus_punch, kickstart, Irien)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, Amul, morypcaina, loneal, DrSkradley, juanclaudius, vexingrupert, foetus_punch, kickstart, Irien)
hexjumper
+1 -0
"...and then, Hex reached into his pocket to pull out one of his carefully preserved lames - but OH NO! There were no lames left in his pocket! He'd used them all up foolishly on trolls and halfwits! What was he going to do now?"
"...and then, Hex reached into his pocket to pull out one of his carefully preserved lames - but OH NO! There were no lames left in his pocket! He'd used them all up foolishly on trolls and halfwits! What was he going to do now?"
foetus_punch
+2 -2
"But 'lo and behold, that dashing masked hero, the Foetal Pugilist , has swooped in to save the day! Never fear, fair Molly! That brilliant and brave hero, the Foetal Pugilist , is here to preserve your honour against such villains as the Desert Donkey, dirty scoundrel that he is!"
"But 'lo and behold, that dashing masked hero, the Foetal Pugilist , has swooped in to save the day! Never fear, fair Molly! That brilliant and brave hero, the Foetal Pugilist , is here to preserve your honour against such villains as the Desert Donkey, dirty scoundrel that he is!"
drskradley
+0 -0
The Donkey was Punched.
The Donkey was Punched.
goro
+0 -0
just...
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
just...
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
foetus_punch
+0 -0
A comment left by foetus_punch was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Balboa, GhostlyState, Flipper_the_Dolphin_Bitch, LRosetw8)
A comment left by foetus_punch was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Balboa, GhostlyState, Flipper_the_Dolphin_Bitch, LRosetw8)
pogo
+0 -0
Virtual condolences.
Virtual condolences.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Thanks pogo. Now I just wish I knew who lamed this here thing. I really hope it was because they did not get the sarcasm. Oh jeez do I hope it.
Thanks pogo. Now I just wish I knew who lamed this here thing. I really hope it was because they did not get the sarcasm. Oh jeez do I hope it.
pogo
+0 -0
Prolly they were "don't spoil the mood with reality" lames, but shit happens.
Prolly they were "don't spoil the mood with reality" lames, but shit happens.
loneal
+0 -0
Probably they thought the "gay fan service" part was sincere.
Probably they thought the "gay fan service" part was sincere.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Some people just really hate the bereaved.
Some people just really hate the bereaved.
lrosetw8
+0 -0
Accidentally lamed, sorry. :(
Accidentally lamed, sorry. :(
foetus_punch
+0 -0
It's cool, I realized I deserved all those lames for whining. In fact, more people should lame me. (This is not sarcasm. This is not meta-sarcasm.)
It's cool, I realized I deserved all those lames for whining. In fact, more people should lame me. (This is not sarcasm. This is not meta-sarcasm.)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Then I will meta-lame you. I'm not actually giving you a lame, but I'm frowning real, real big right now
Then I will meta-lame you. I'm not actually giving you a lame, but I'm frowning real, real big right now
foetus_punch
+0 -0
I'm sorry that it looks so sarcastic! It's really, really not. I would lame myself if assetbar would relax it's stringent rules for just a split second.
Unless that is not what you were talking about. Eh.
I'm sorry that it looks so sarcastic! It's really, really not. I would lame myself if assetbar would relax it's stringent rules for just a split second.
Unless that is not what you were talking about. Eh.
king_duncan
+0 -2
A picture is worth a thousand words. This is 47,000: all of them eloquent as fuck.
A picture is worth a thousand words. This is 47,000: all of them eloquent as fuck.
randombeing
+0 -1
4.9? Uh, let's rethink this one, guys.
4.9? Uh, let's rethink this one, guys.
randombeing
+0 -0
A comment left by randombeing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, falseprophet, chivalress, foetus_punch, JimmyK)
A comment left by randombeing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, falseprophet, chivalress, foetus_punch, JimmyK)
cicero_hood
+1 -1
Good grief, Chris. In all my days I never shed a damn tear at a wedding. Not fictional weddings, not real life weddings. I never felt that kind of sentimental, and never really understood it 'till today.
Dogg you are some kind of an artist.
Good grief, Chris. In all my days I never shed a damn tear at a wedding. Not fictional weddings, not real life weddings. I never felt that kind of sentimental, and never really understood it 'till today.
Dogg you are some kind of an artist.
mattfish
+0 -0
Does it look like Beef stopped biting his nails?
Does it look like Beef stopped biting his nails?
damiansez
+0 -0
Love that Molly is barefoot in the last panel. Nice touch.
Love that Molly is barefoot in the last panel. Nice touch.
paby
+1 -0
From being swaddled in a Wonderbread bag tied with an electrical cord...to this.
From being swaddled in a Wonderbread bag tied with an electrical cord...to this.
desert_donkey
+0 -2
yeah.. what is up with that? just some freaky shit i s'pose.
yeah.. what is up with that? just some freaky shit i s'pose.
refinedwerewolf
+2 -0
Ah crap, cryin' at work. Thanks a lot, Onstad, you asshole.
Seriously. Congratulations, you two.
Ah crap, cryin' at work. Thanks a lot, Onstad, you asshole.
Seriously. Congratulations, you two.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
The most important Achewood to date.
Props, Onstad.
The most important Achewood to date.
Props, Onstad.
thickbasssteak
+0 -0
*snrf* brought a tear to mine eye
*snrf* brought a tear to mine eye
baryonyx
+0 -0
This deserves to remain at the top of the Highest Rated list, forever. Simply for its significance.
This deserves to remain at the top of the Highest Rated list, forever. Simply for its significance.
beefsmipeep
+4 -0
Things I love about this strip:
Panel 10 - Ray is walking in a determined fashion. He knows his best bud is getting married, but he's going to be right there with him to the end.
Panels 13 & 17 -When they spot the bride, Beef is solemn, while Ray is astonished at her beauty. He never imagined Molly this way.
The flashback panels are pure gold.
Panels 27-29 - Love Beef's contented smile when Molly smiles at him and he recalls their first meeting.
Panels 36-40 - Phillipe is obviously in a world of pain, but he delivers the goods. He is relieved he has accomplished his task without mishap, but when he finally relaxes - Noooooo!
Panel 41 - Ray's concern for Phillipe's embarrassment is genuinely touching. Ray is truly the most soft-hearted of hard-core partiers.
All in all, a fitting pinnacle to all that is Achewood and all that has gone before. It is obvious Onstad labored lovingly over every frame.
Things I love about this strip:
Panel 10 - Ray is walking in a determined fashion. He knows his best bud is getting married, but he's going to be right there with him to the end.
Panels 13 & 17 -When they spot the bride, Beef is solemn, while Ray is astonished at her beauty. He never imagined Molly this way.
The flashback panels are pure gold.
Panels 27-29 - Love Beef's contented smile when Molly smiles at him and he recalls their first meeting.
Panels 36-40 - Phillipe is obviously in a world of pain, but he delivers the goods. He is relieved he has accomplished his task without mishap, but when he finally relaxes - Noooooo!
Panel 41 - Ray's concern for Phillipe's embarrassment is genuinely touching. Ray is truly the most soft-hearted of hard-core partiers.
All in all, a fitting pinnacle to all that is Achewood and all that has gone before. It is obvious Onstad labored lovingly over every frame.
lonestar52
+0 -0
Of course Ray is concerned for Phillipe's embarrassment. Phillipe is a rad friend.
Of course Ray is concerned for Phillipe's embarrassment. Phillipe is a rad friend.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
Ray is not walking in a determined fashion. Ray has a floppy armed walk.
Jesus Christ boy.
Ray is not walking in a determined fashion. Ray has a floppy armed walk.
Jesus Christ boy.
phy
+0 -0
Did Ray have to get all those Aibo tuxedo-vests made custom, or can you just pick them up in the Ridiculous aisle at PetSmart?
Did Ray have to get all those Aibo tuxedo-vests made custom, or can you just pick them up in the Ridiculous aisle at PetSmart?
sncether
+1 -0
85% of PetSmart is the Ridiculous Aisle.
Anyway, there's a large aftermarket "dog-rodding" community for Aibos. I'm sure Ray just picked the tuxes up in one of their catalogs (go ahead and tell me they don't fill his mailbox with their catalogs). I'd be willing to bet that affixed to each Aibo's hindquarters, concealed by the tails of their jackets, is an ugly sticker that says something like "DOGBOT TECH" in a 'sleek' font. The two "T"s run into each other to suggest the upper part an Aibo's face; the rest of the head is sketched in beneath.
it's seriously a big sticker dude
85% of PetSmart is the Ridiculous Aisle.
Anyway, there's a large aftermarket "dog-rodding" community for Aibos. I'm sure Ray just picked the tuxes up in one of their catalogs (go ahead and tell me they don't fill his mailbox with their catalogs). I'd be willing to bet that affixed to each Aibo's hindquarters, concealed by the tails of their jackets, is an ugly sticker that says something like "DOGBOT TECH" in a 'sleek' font. The two "T"s run into each other to suggest the upper part an Aibo's face; the rest of the head is sketched in beneath.
it's seriously a big sticker dude
phy
+1 -0
Also I wonder if you can buy sheet music for the Wedding March as Scored for Cello and Dismayed Incontinent Otter Child
Also I wonder if you can buy sheet music for the Wedding March as Scored for Cello and Dismayed Incontinent Otter Child
gyrate
+1 -0
I studied Dismayed Incontinent Otter Child at Juilliard and let me assure you that the repertoire is extremely limited. Plus most concert venues won't allow them on the stage as they present a slip hazard.
I studied Dismayed Incontinent Otter Child at Juilliard and let me assure you that the repertoire is extremely limited. Plus most concert venues won't allow them on the stage as they present a slip hazard.
markusj
+0 -0
Oh my god, the most perfect strip to make... EVER! *SPLUT*
Oh my god, the most perfect strip to make... EVER! *SPLUT*
intelligentblue
+0 -0
i have watched a part of...history
i have watched a part of...history
hamscout
+0 -0
...but what of the fallout?!?
...but what of the fallout?!?
intelligentblue
+0 -0
i see what you did there ;)
i see what you did there ;)
octafish
+0 -0
War...
War never changes.
[IMGS OFF]
War...
War never changes.
[IMGS OFF]
mortshire
+0 -0
Ladies and Gentlemen,
RON. MOTHERFUCKING. PERL MAAANNN !
Ladies and Gentlemen,
RON. MOTHERFUCKING. PERL MAAANNN !
chaobell
+0 -0
Would that I could 5 this ten thousand times.
And a wedding just isn't complete until the ring bearer or flower girl has an accident.
Would that I could 5 this ten thousand times.
And a wedding just isn't complete until the ring bearer or flower girl has an accident.
rascaldom
+0 -0
WHO GAVE THIS LESS THAN 5 GO DAM MIT!
WHO GAVE THIS LESS THAN 5 GO DAM MIT!
honky_tonk_beej
+0 -0
I did, apologies. But honestly, I've been bracing for a wedding meltdown.
I did, apologies. But honestly, I've been bracing for a wedding meltdown.
mrchee
+0 -0
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, phthoggos, ReverendRamrod, prius_chaser, loneal, Magb, JimmyK, refinedwerewolf, aparrish)
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, phthoggos, ReverendRamrod, prius_chaser, loneal, Magb, JimmyK, refinedwerewolf, aparrish)
mrchee
+2 -0
who can spot my grammatical and orthographic errors first? I guarantee you will receive many chubbies
who can spot my grammatical and orthographic errors first? I guarantee you will receive many chubbies
pogo
+0 -0
IGNORE ALERT * Troll spotted *
IGNORE ALERT * Troll spotted *
stereo
+0 -0
I hope you meant vapid, cause rapid doesn't make sense in this context.
I hope you meant vapid, cause rapid doesn't make sense in this context.
loneal
+0 -0
They lamed him extremely quickly.
They lamed him extremely quickly.
stereo
+0 -0
I take that back, he probably means the first 3 people who saw it lamed it and nobody else had the pleasure.
I take that back, he probably means the first 3 people who saw it lamed it and nobody else had the pleasure.
loneal
+0 -0
No, I'm sure he meant "vapid." His typo just happened to make a little bit of sense. Don't be so hard on yourself!
No, I'm sure he meant "vapid." His typo just happened to make a little bit of sense. Don't be so hard on yourself!
irondave
+0 -0
Not "rabid"? I might be a rabid fan.
Not "rabid"? I might be a rabid fan.
loneal
+0 -0
Ooooh good call.
Ooooh good call.
spesimen
+0 -2
if you haven't let onstad shit on your chest yet you really should try it. feels great! it used to be something you could order from the store back when you could still pick which color t-shirt you wanted, but i think demand outpaced supply and they had to nix it.
if you haven't let onstad shit on your chest yet you really should try it. feels great! it used to be something you could order from the store back when you could still pick which color t-shirt you wanted, but i think demand outpaced supply and they had to nix it.
narrenschiff
+0 -0
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
narrenschiff
+0 -0
So, uh, who's in the third panel?
So, uh, who's in the third panel?
paby
+0 -0
Its not Gramma k is it?
Its not Gramma k is it?
tekende
+0 -0
Doc Andretti and his mother.
Doc Andretti and his mother.
paby
+0 -0
Where on earth does Doc Andretti's mom show up before now?
Where on earth does Doc Andretti's mom show up before now?
d-pad
+0 -0
She doesn't, but he talks to her on the phone about the wedding a few strips back.
She doesn't, but he talks to her on the phone about the wedding a few strips back.
paby
+0 -0
Well thank god we got that cleared up now I can sleep tonight.
Well thank god we got that cleared up now I can sleep tonight.
ihmgard
+0 -0
I gotta say I am relieved that Philippe did not drop that ring in the toilet and apparently so is he, though in a substantially more horrified way
I gotta say I am relieved that Philippe did not drop that ring in the toilet and apparently so is he, though in a substantially more horrified way
mrchee
+0 -0
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by smarve, techiebabe, refinedwerewolf)
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by smarve, techiebabe, refinedwerewolf)
mrchee
+0 -0
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by smarve, Ihmgard, techiebabe, JimmyK)
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by smarve, Ihmgard, techiebabe, JimmyK)
thegoblins
+0 -0
Straight to bed with no supper for you!
Straight to bed with no supper for you!
toiletstore
+0 -0
Five, five, five. This deserves nothing less.
Five, five, five. This deserves nothing less.
zombiezero
+3 -0
Somewhere, Click Robot knows he has been vindicated.
Don't worry, Philippe... everyone will forget about your little accident once Lyle passes out and shits himself at the reception.
Somewhere, Click Robot knows he has been vindicated.
Don't worry, Philippe... everyone will forget about your little accident once Lyle passes out and shits himself at the reception.
paby
+0 -0
He die of shame!
He die of shame!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Lyle has this one covered.
Lyle has this one covered.
paby
+0 -0
Yeah he wouldn't be ashamed though, he'd be bragging about it.
Yeah he wouldn't be ashamed though, he'd be bragging about it.
deovalente
+0 -0
A comment left by deovalente was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, TommyTheBrat, catgrl131, Magb, techiebabe, Flipper_the_Dolphin_Bitch, echidnaboy)
A comment left by deovalente was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, TommyTheBrat, catgrl131, Magb, techiebabe, Flipper_the_Dolphin_Bitch, echidnaboy)
deovalente
+0 -1
Aw dammit now I want to lame myself out of self-hate for suggesting such a thing but Assetbar says I can't.
Aw dammit now I want to lame myself out of self-hate for suggesting such a thing but Assetbar says I can't.
stereo
+0 -0
My lame allotment is mysteriously zero, I don't even remember the last time I used one. Maybe you lose them when you ignore people.
My lame allotment is mysteriously zero, I don't even remember the last time I used one. Maybe you lose them when you ignore people.
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, my lames vanished as well. Hmm, I'll give a few chubbs and see what happens. I've been niggardly in that department.
Yes, my lames vanished as well. Hmm, I'll give a few chubbs and see what happens. I've been niggardly in that department.
tekende
+0 -0
*gasp* You can't say niggardly
*gasp* You can't say niggardly
davey-boy
+0 -0
My mother was lazy! Not cool, not funny, not a good asset.
My mother was lazy! Not cool, not funny, not a good asset.
i_love_kate
+0 -1
Man, I don't know what's more embarrassing. That you fell back on that rather tired joke, that you don't know what "Niggardly" means, or that you automatically assumed that a word that vaguely resembles an ethnic slur against a person of African descent means "lazy".
Man, I don't know what's more embarrassing. That you fell back on that rather tired joke, that you don't know what "Niggardly" means, or that you automatically assumed that a word that vaguely resembles an ethnic slur against a person of African descent means "lazy".
tekende
+0 -0
Are you...are you serious? Man, I know what niggardly means. I was making a joke.
Are you...are you serious? Man, I know what niggardly means. I was making a joke.
aperson
+0 -1
How could you think racist jokes would be okay on Assetbar??
How could you think racist jokes would be okay on Assetbar??
loneal
+0 -0
Okay, I am trying to figure this out, but I'm not sure I have it right. This is my version of what has happened here tonight: I_love_kate is responding to davey-boy and criticizing him for falling back on the "not funny, not cool" joke. I_love_kate does not know that the word "niggardly" means "lazy" and has nothing to do with any ethnic slur, and so he thought davey-boy was getting it wrong and being offensive while doing so. "Niggardly" remains a stupid word that no one would miss if we retired it from the English language. In conclusion, Colonel Mustard in the dining room with the candlestick.
Okay, I am trying to figure this out, but I'm not sure I have it right. This is my version of what has happened here tonight: I_love_kate is responding to davey-boy and criticizing him for falling back on the "not funny, not cool" joke. I_love_kate does not know that the word "niggardly" means "lazy" and has nothing to do with any ethnic slur, and so he thought davey-boy was getting it wrong and being offensive while doing so. "Niggardly" remains a stupid word that no one would miss if we retired it from the English language. In conclusion, Colonel Mustard in the dining room with the candlestick.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I think you got a good deal of the issue. Also, I think Tekende believed the Kat lover was talking to him, which added to the rich tapestry of dumb this threadlet has created. And here I am, hanging it in my drawing room.
I think you got a good deal of the issue. Also, I think Tekende believed the Kat lover was talking to him, which added to the rich tapestry of dumb this threadlet has created. And here I am, hanging it in my drawing room.
margargaret
+0 -0
No, i-love-kate was refering to the davey-boy getting the definition of niggardly wrong. i_love_kate though that by incorrectly defining "niggardly" as lazy, davey-boy was purposely making a racist joke. Then, tekende thought that i_love_kate was refering to his comment. There may be some level of sarcasm in here that I am missing though.
This conversation has been a mad, mad caper!
No, i-love-kate was refering to the davey-boy getting the definition of niggardly wrong. i_love_kate though that by incorrectly defining "niggardly" as lazy, davey-boy was purposely making a racist joke. Then, tekende thought that i_love_kate was refering to his comment. There may be some level of sarcasm in here that I am missing though.
This conversation has been a mad, mad caper!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
But how did it end?!
But how did it end?!
tekende
+0 -0
Okay, just to clear things up: I was making a joke in reference to another thread that I can't be arsed to look up right now. The one where someone (I think drskradley) made a reference to some song and said "Assetbar is the Nigger of the World" or whatever and someone else said "*gasp* You can't say nigger " and the thread went pretty predictably from there.
Anyway, then came the "not funny not cool" part up there, and then i_love_kate's response which seemed to me like it was directed at both of us and I don't even know anymore. Whatever guys.
Okay, just to clear things up: I was making a joke in reference to another thread that I can't be arsed to look up right now. The one where someone (I think drskradley) made a reference to some song and said "Assetbar is the Nigger of the World" or whatever and someone else said "*gasp* You can't say nigger " and the thread went pretty predictably from there.
Anyway, then came the "not funny not cool" part up there, and then i_love_kate's response which seemed to me like it was directed at both of us and I don't even know anymore. Whatever guys.
pogo
+0 -0
My "obscure-o meter" just hit the red zone on that one.
My "obscure-o meter" just hit the red zone on that one.
davey-boy
+0 -0
My bad. My mother was cheap or meager. I have been confused to its meaning for a while. Also; did not mean to give off any racial implications.
My bad. My mother was cheap or meager. I have been confused to its meaning for a while. Also; did not mean to give off any racial implications.
pogo
+0 -0
Hmmm, I thought falseprophet would be the first to notice my old English.
Hmmm, I thought falseprophet would be the first to notice my old English.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Because he's old? Because he's English? What sort of thing are you implying here?
Because he's old? Because he's English? What sort of thing are you implying here?
falseprophet
+0 -0
falseprophet scrolls down to this thread, clicks 'reply,' puts his hands to his keyboard, thinks for a second, then hits cancel, and just keeps on scrollin.
falseprophet scrolls down to this thread, clicks 'reply,' puts his hands to his keyboard, thinks for a second, then hits cancel, and just keeps on scrollin.
loneal
+0 -0
See, this happens to me like eight times a day, where I want to call people out on offensive shit, but I can never make myself just keep on scrollin. This is why everyone shudders when they see my avicon.
See, this happens to me like eight times a day, where I want to call people out on offensive shit, but I can never make myself just keep on scrollin. This is why everyone shudders when they see my avicon.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
It's hard bein' a soldier loneal. Keep on rockin'. Peter Carey once said that an Anarchist is just a Communist who needs a holiday. Don't let the bastards get away with that shit.
It's hard bein' a soldier loneal. Keep on rockin'. Peter Carey once said that an Anarchist is just a Communist who needs a holiday. Don't let the bastards get away with that shit.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
oh... the Carey quote looks obscure: errr... it means that when you're a Feminist you'll be constantly a-battlin against the main stream ignorance, that might make you wanna take a holiday.... ummm... you get me?
oh... the Carey quote looks obscure: errr... it means that when you're a Feminist you'll be constantly a-battlin against the main stream ignorance, that might make you wanna take a holiday.... ummm... you get me?
octafish
+0 -0
A hearty Paul Chubb for the Carey quote. (If you haven't seen it Paul Chubb played the part of Reverend Des in the movie version of Bliss)
[IMGS OFF]
A hearty Paul Chubb for the Carey quote. (If you haven't seen it Paul Chubb played the part of Reverend Des in the movie version of Bliss)
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh, I shudder all right. I shudder for 7 whole seconds most of the time.
Oh, I shudder all right. I shudder for 7 whole seconds most of the time.
pogo
+0 -0
If only I had the same restraint as falseprophet.
If only I had the same restraint as falseprophet.
hamscout
+0 -0
Did somebody say Old English??
[IMGS OFF]
(Sorry, couldn't help recycling that nugget, because of the coincidence...)
Did somebody say Old English??
[IMGS OFF]
(Sorry, couldn't help recycling that nugget, because of the coincidence...)
mrchee
+0 -1
achewood jumped a long time ago, man
achewood jumped a long time ago, man
tommythebrat
+0 -0
Jump the shark is a fun phrase to throw around casually every now and then.
Jump the shark is a fun phrase to throw around casually every now and then.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
It seems odd to me that we assume Achewood must follow the same trajectory as a sitcom that was on TV before most of us were born. Maybe it's time to admit to ourselves that rather than being a real concept in narrative theory, 'jumping the shark' is just another web meme of dubious applicability to this particular webcomic.
It seems odd to me that we assume Achewood must follow the same trajectory as a sitcom that was on TV before most of us were born. Maybe it's time to admit to ourselves that rather than being a real concept in narrative theory, 'jumping the shark' is just another web meme of dubious applicability to this particular webcomic.
paby
+0 -0
I was actually going to respond with "Its a WEBCOMIC" but I thought I'd sound like a Jerk. So...thanks.
I was actually going to respond with "Its a WEBCOMIC" but I thought I'd sound like a Jerk. So...thanks.
octafish
+0 -0
It depends whether you believe the content of the comic has deteriorated or not, I do not believe so, and it is too early to judge whether this is the moment the strip "jumped". There may be a period of adjustment where strips following the wedding event may not have the emotional charge that many so obviously feel about this arc. I have faith that the following strips will be of a quality that will maintain the standards of excellence this strip so often meets. Whether they are greeted as such by the readers remains to be seen.
It depends whether you believe the content of the comic has deteriorated or not, I do not believe so, and it is too early to judge whether this is the moment the strip "jumped". There may be a period of adjustment where strips following the wedding event may not have the emotional charge that many so obviously feel about this arc. I have faith that the following strips will be of a quality that will maintain the standards of excellence this strip so often meets. Whether they are greeted as such by the readers remains to be seen.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I agree with this idea. I'm not against the use of 'jumping the shark' as a meme, but it can only be stated in retrospect. Clearly Anstod jumped the shark with the GOF, he'll never top that... Wait
I agree with this idea. I'm not against the use of 'jumping the shark' as a meme, but it can only be stated in retrospect. Clearly Anstod jumped the shark with the GOF, he'll never top that... Wait
plummet
+0 -0
Ah, but that was ANSTOD, the anti-Onstad! ANSTOD creates unfunny comics.and makes horrible-tasting food!
Ah, but that was ANSTOD, the anti-Onstad! ANSTOD creates unfunny comics.and makes horrible-tasting food!
plummet
+0 -0
Ah, but that was ANSTOD, the anti-Onstad! ANSTOD creates unfunny comics.and makes horrible-tasting food!
Ah, but that was ANSTOD, the anti-Onstad! ANSTOD creates unfunny comics.and makes horrible-tasting food!
johnmatrix
+0 -0
I don't follow your reasoning. I see "jump the shark" used when a series begins a downward spiral that it never recovers from. Going by that definition, the term could be reasonably applied to any form of media. Now, many series may go into a slump and recover, and I don't think those are true JTS moments. But then there are plenty of series that go bad and never recover. I don't see why it should be applied to Achewood now, but I don't see why it couldn't apply if Achewood permanently drops in quality.
I don't follow your reasoning. I see "jump the shark" used when a series begins a downward spiral that it never recovers from. Going by that definition, the term could be reasonably applied to any form of media. Now, many series may go into a slump and recover, and I don't think those are true JTS moments. But then there are plenty of series that go bad and never recover. I don't see why it should be applied to Achewood now, but I don't see why it couldn't apply if Achewood permanently drops in quality.
foetus_punch
+0 -0
To me, "jump the shark" only applies to watching that one episode of Happy Days where the Fonz jumps over a shark.
Too cool.
To me, "jump the shark" only applies to watching that one episode of Happy Days where the Fonz jumps over a shark.
Too cool.
harold
+1 -0
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172003
And to think that all beef once hoped for was to help a Chinese lady get an MBA so she can dump him...
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=06172003
And to think that all beef once hoped for was to help a Chinese lady get an MBA so she can dump him...
lonestar52
+0 -0
As far as weddings go, this went off without a hitch.
On to the reception!
As far as weddings go, this went off without a hitch.
On to the reception!
kickstart
+2 -0
As a challenge to myself, I have identified the Sanders brothers who are cooking.
In panel 4 we have Cadwalader and in panel 6 that is Haydn using a knife I would like to call "El Choppo."
As a challenge to myself, I have identified the Sanders brothers who are cooking.
In panel 4 we have Cadwalader and in panel 6 that is Haydn using a knife I would like to call "El Choppo."
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I know it was mentioned further up, but I will try to calm the late-comers and can't-be-bothered-to-read-more-that-two-posts-types by stating that this isn't the end of Achewood, or the end of this arc, or even a descent to overly-sweet pap. This is the Math. The Aftermath will be hilarious, and someone's ass will be beaten.
I know it was mentioned further up, but I will try to calm the late-comers and can't-be-bothered-to-read-more-that-two-posts-types by stating that this isn't the end of Achewood, or the end of this arc, or even a descent to overly-sweet pap. This is the Math. The Aftermath will be hilarious, and someone's ass will be beaten.
plummet
+0 -0
Well said, my robotic brother from another mother. Well said.
Pro
Well said, my robotic brother from another mother. Well said.
Pro
rykan
+0 -0
In the last panel, why does Molly's dress look so short (and slightly ripped)?
In the last panel, why does Molly's dress look so short (and slightly ripped)?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Beef is a wild cat.
Molly should know better than to every try and tame a wild cat.
Beef is a wild cat.
Molly should know better than to every try and tame a wild cat.
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
My guess? She's holding it up with one hand (the other grasps the arm of her beloved) in order to make her getaway without embarrassing trippage.
My guess? She's holding it up with one hand (the other grasps the arm of her beloved) in order to make her getaway without embarrassing trippage.
deusoma
+0 -0
Or stepping on roses. Dude, ouch .
Or stepping on roses. Dude, ouch .
krispykorn
+1 -0
...Perfektion.
only achewood strip so far to have gotten a 4.9, that's pretty sick.
...Perfektion.
only achewood strip so far to have gotten a 4.9, that's pretty sick.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Your Mario and Luigi avatar turns all of your periods into exclamation points! It's magic.
Your Mario and Luigi avatar turns all of your periods into exclamation points! It's magic.
krispykorn
+0 -0
Another neat effect they give: if you stare long enough, they start dancing to the beat of any music you're listening to. You just have to believe .
Another neat effect they give: if you stare long enough, they start dancing to the beat of any music you're listening to. You just have to believe .
possums
+0 -0
Ray Gets Sort of Stoned was a 4.9 for a while too.
Ray Gets Sort of Stoned was a 4.9 for a while too.
yojimb0
+0 -0
yayyyyyy! :) hugs all round :D
yayyyyyy! :) hugs all round :D
nickgranger
+0 -0
where was ray when I needed him?
where was ray when I needed him?
retro
+0 -0
He could not be found.
He could not be found.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Can't you...SEE?
Can't you...SEE?
catgrl131
+0 -0
But seriously, dude, awesome avicon.
But seriously, dude, awesome avicon.
noah_j
+0 -0
consider these heart strings plucked
consider these heart strings plucked
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Tears? JERKED.
Tears? JERKED.
krispykorn
+0 -0
Considered.
For now.
Considered.
For now.
ddgoec
+0 -0
HELL YEAH!!!
HELL YEAH!!!
ricnine
+0 -0
This is perfect. Who dared to rate it below a 5?
This is perfect. Who dared to rate it below a 5?
octafish
+6 -1
I did, I gave it a 4.
I try and use the rating system as it should be and not give every thing a 4 or 5. That's right, I give strips a rating of 2 or even 1 occasionally, a Achewood 1 is still better than most online comics.
What you need to do is think about the least successful non-guest artist strip for your baseline 1, then your absolute favorite strip, that is your 5 everything should pretty much fall in between.
This is, to me at least, not the best strip ever. I like it a lot, but I feel that there are better strips, strips that make me laugh more, strips that push the medium more, strips that have a finer sense of art-direction, strips that have an element of surprise.
I stand back and observe and then render my opinion. However just remember that opinions are like clitorises... and I am entitled to my opinion as to how the rating system should work and where this strip should fall in said rating system.
That is all.
I did, I gave it a 4.
I try and use the rating system as it should be and not give every thing a 4 or 5. That's right, I give strips a rating of 2 or even 1 occasionally, a Achewood 1 is still better than most online comics.
What you need to do is think about the least successful non-guest artist strip for your baseline 1, then your absolute favorite strip, that is your 5 everything should pretty much fall in between.
This is, to me at least, not the best strip ever. I like it a lot, but I feel that there are better strips, strips that make me laugh more, strips that push the medium more, strips that have a finer sense of art-direction, strips that have an element of surprise.
I stand back and observe and then render my opinion. However just remember that opinions are like clitorises... and I am entitled to my opinion as to how the rating system should work and where this strip should fall in said rating system.
That is all.
snidedk
+0 -0
opinions are moist?
opinions are moist?
thorfinn
+2 -0
A: It's clitorides
2: Opinions, love them, moist
A: It's clitorides
2: Opinions, love them, moist
octafish
+0 -0
Sigh, maybe its an Australian thing, "...every cunt has one." is the second half of the saying. I realise this doesn't take into account female circumsision but why should it? That shit is fucked up!
Also thorfinn while it is true that citorides is the correct plural, clitorises is a) commonly used and accepted, and 2) the term used in the colloqial saying that was quoted.
Sigh, maybe its an Australian thing, "...every cunt has one." is the second half of the saying. I realise this doesn't take into account female circumsision but why should it? That shit is fucked up!
Also thorfinn while it is true that citorides is the correct plural, clitorises is a) commonly used and accepted, and 2) the term used in the colloqial saying that was quoted.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Yes, but clitorises was stationed in the south. His news is of no use here.
Yes, but clitorises was stationed in the south. His news is of no use here.
professorhazard
+1 -0
I feel like I'm being baited. I... I don't feel like I have a lot of options, here.
I feel like I'm being baited. I... I don't feel like I have a lot of options, here.
octafish
+0 -0
Axe it professor, just straight out axe it.
Axe it professor, just straight out axe it.
professorhazard
+0 -0
If I do, daidai will be right there, seconds later. I can actually summon him from out of nowhere with those three simple words.
If I do, daidai will be right there, seconds later. I can actually summon him from out of nowhere with those three simple words.
dskim
+0 -0
Glandes! (Pronounced glan-deez) What news from the west!
You people -- makin' me learn the plural of glans while I should be revising a paper. That's the first time in my life I've written that sentence, by the way.
Glandes! (Pronounced glan-deez) What news from the west!
You people -- makin' me learn the plural of glans while I should be revising a paper. That's the first time in my life I've written that sentence, by the way.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Before I saw the explanation of the Australian saying, I thought octafish meant he was entitled to his opinion, just as he is entitled to a clitoris. This did not make much sense to me, as much as I might want it to.
Before I saw the explanation of the Australian saying, I thought octafish meant he was entitled to his opinion, just as he is entitled to a clitoris. This did not make much sense to me, as much as I might want it to.
gyrate
+1 -0
It's guaranteed in the Australian Constitution: "A chicken in every pot, and a little man in every boat".
It's guaranteed in the Australian Constitution: "A chicken in every pot, and a little man in every boat".
falseprophet
+0 -0
I don't know how I'm going to go and
I had a drink the other day
Opinions are like kittens
I was givin em away
I don't know how I'm going to go and
I had a drink the other day
Opinions are like kittens
I was givin em away
ddgoec
+0 -1
Rating a strip that is the culmunination of years of strips...summing all that story and qualilty and a 4 is all it rates?
You are entitled to your opinion. However, you are also entitled to a Lame. Now you have both
Rating a strip that is the culmunination of years of strips...summing all that story and qualilty and a 4 is all it rates?
You are entitled to your opinion. However, you are also entitled to a Lame. Now you have both
octafish
+1 -0
Whatever. There is better. Right back at you fascist !
Whatever. There is better. Right back at you fascist !
refinedwerewolf
+0 -0
Chubb'd for a man who cold states his opinion . Ramses would be proud. Or at least, he might give you a single expressionless nod.
Chubb'd for a man who cold states his opinion . Ramses would be proud. Or at least, he might give you a single expressionless nod.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm a bit stupid and without words none of this makes sense to me.
If someone explains it properly I'll change my 2 to a more suitable rating.
I'm a bit stupid and without words none of this makes sense to me.
If someone explains it properly I'll change my 2 to a more suitable rating.
stereo
+0 -0
(I did not rate this strip a 2)
(I did not rate this strip a 2)
cromar
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
octafish
+0 -0
ULULULULULULULULLLLLLLLLLLLLL! That is my favorite of all the body snatchers films, I mean I still like The Thing more but...
ULULULULULULULULLLLLLLLLLLLLL! That is my favorite of all the body snatchers films, I mean I still like The Thing more but...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
love his expression.
daaaaaang.
...what movie is this from?
love his expression.
daaaaaang.
...what movie is this from?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1978 style.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1978 style.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh. well, silly me.
thank you for your enlightenment.
oh. well, silly me.
thank you for your enlightenment.
hamscout
+0 -0
I thought opinions were like assholes...
...we've got a bunch of them,
and they're all alreadyinuse.
I thought opinions were like assholes...
...we've got a bunch of them,
and they're all alreadyinuse.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
theirateturk likes putting his hands inside your opinions.
theirateturk likes putting his hands inside your opinions.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Jesus, the life reminiscence made this deeper than it already it. And Ray saved Phillipe from making a dang spectacle of himself.
Jesus, the life reminiscence made this deeper than it already it. And Ray saved Phillipe from making a dang spectacle of himself.
doubleclef
+0 -0
Onstad truly is a master of imagery
Onstad truly is a master of imagery
gyrate
+0 -0
You know who's missing? Onstad himself. Surely he must be there?
You know who's missing? Onstad himself. Surely he must be there?
dickolas_wang
+0 -0
Just today I was thinking about Ray's walk. How did Onstad know?!
What's with that walk, anyway?
Just today I was thinking about Ray's walk. How did Onstad know?!
What's with that walk, anyway?
phy
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
rykan
+0 -0
Did you make that, good sir? It amuses me terribly.
Did you make that, good sir? It amuses me terribly.
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
An exact match - kudos to you, sir!
An exact match - kudos to you, sir!
gowerski
+0 -0
phy did not make this.
phy did not make this.
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
Apropos, nonetheless
Apropos, nonetheless
edwell
+2 -0
Achewood theme song to appear as downloadable content for Rock Band
Achewood theme song to appear as downloadable content for Rock Band
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Damnit now I have to buy myself one of those X-Boxes.
Also. Damnit, Edwell, can't you do enough for this community? You'd better take a time out, mister, and I don't want to see you making another contribution until the next strip is up.
I mean it!
Damnit now I have to buy myself one of those X-Boxes.
Also. Damnit, Edwell, can't you do enough for this community? You'd better take a time out, mister, and I don't want to see you making another contribution until the next strip is up.
I mean it!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Great find, Edwell. Chubbied!
Great find, Edwell. Chubbied!
deusoma
+0 -0
Blast and thunderation. I was hoping it was Here Comes a Special Boy .
Blast and thunderation. I was hoping it was Here Comes a Special Boy .
loneal
+0 -0
Freezepop already has a Guitar Hero song, don't get greedy. Also, come on, "Dude and Catastrophe" is a victory for all of humans-kind.
Freezepop already has a Guitar Hero song, don't get greedy. Also, come on, "Dude and Catastrophe" is a victory for all of humans-kind.
tekende
+0 -0
Freezepop has a Guitar Hero song ("Less Talk More Rock") and a Rock Band song ("Brainpower").
Freezepop has a Guitar Hero song ("Less Talk More Rock") and a Rock Band song ("Brainpower").
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Two guitar hero songs. They also have "Get Ready 2 Rokk" in GH1. It's wiki's featured article today.
Fine I'll admit it. I play it instead of work and have 5 starred expert Jordan. Suck it.
Two guitar hero songs. They also have "Get Ready 2 Rokk" in GH1. It's wiki's featured article today.
Fine I'll admit it. I play it instead of work and have 5 starred expert Jordan. Suck it.
tekende
+0 -0
Ah! I have only played Guitar Hero 1 like one time. I have spent much more time on 2 and 3.
Ah! I have only played Guitar Hero 1 like one time. I have spent much more time on 2 and 3.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i found out about freezepop right before i played the first Guitar Hero...
and my life has never been the same since.
i found out about freezepop right before i played the first Guitar Hero...
and my life has never been the same since.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
also, the solo in that version is a bee itch when unable to hammer-on and pull-off. ('cos they didn't make the window to do so large enough)
also, the solo in that version is a bee itch when unable to hammer-on and pull-off. ('cos they didn't make the window to do so large enough)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
front looks a straight-up goon in that picture...
front looks a straight-up goon in that picture...
xi
+0 -0
Ooooooooooooooooh hell, I'm going to have to frame a copy of this and hang it right above my bed to remind myself on my most Beef days that I might someday wed the feline equivalent of Princess Leia.
Ooooooooooooooooh hell, I'm going to have to frame a copy of this and hang it right above my bed to remind myself on my most Beef days that I might someday wed the feline equivalent of Princess Leia.
diggidy
+0 -0
If you don't focus on any one panel, gray spots appear at the intersections.
Optical!
If you don't focus on any one panel, gray spots appear at the intersections.
Optical!
daidai
+1 -0
... And to everyone's surprise, the wedding ended without anyone getting chaired.
... And to everyone's surprise, the wedding ended without anyone getting chaired.
pogo
+0 -0
Just wait for the reception, boy-o
Just wait for the reception, boy-o
catgrl131
+0 -0
*Sigh*
*Knocks over a chair*
*Sigh*
*Knocks over a chair*
deusoma
+0 -0
Sweet mother of God this one is WONDERFUL. My only question: Who's holding the cigarette that Todd is lighting?
Sweet mother of God this one is WONDERFUL. My only question: Who's holding the cigarette that Todd is lighting?
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
and, ofcourse, noone thinks of taking Teodor to the psych ward
and, ofcourse, noone thinks of taking Teodor to the psych ward
miseryandthesun
+0 -0
Oh, Philippe :).
Oh, Philippe :).
kidko
+0 -0
This was wonderful, and as a bonus you just know we're going to see how it goes down in the kitchen next
This was wonderful, and as a bonus you just know we're going to see how it goes down in the kitchen next
ajthesecond
+0 -0
phillipe's "look of horror" just keeps getting better over time https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08122004
phillipe's "look of horror" just keeps getting better over time https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08122004
dskim
+0 -0
The two step look of surprise on the premium updates membership banner ad on achewood.com. Is that from a strip? Anyway, that's a good Philippe face, too.
The two step look of surprise on the premium updates membership banner ad on achewood.com. Is that from a strip? Anyway, that's a good Philippe face, too.
dskim
+0 -0
Panel 26: Was it any of you all who bought this?
https://achewood.com/rsrc/img/beef_interstellar_lg.jpg
Panel 26: Was it any of you all who bought this?
https://achewood.com/rsrc/img/beef_interstellar_lg.jpg
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
Congratulations Roast Beef. We love you man. (Gettin' brotherly love on assetbar...isn't this just siiiiick as hell!)
Congratulations Roast Beef. We love you man. (Gettin' brotherly love on assetbar...isn't this just siiiiick as hell!)
theirateturk
+0 -0
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, phthoggos, sharpdresseddan, singtralala, svigali)
A comment left by theirateturk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, phthoggos, sharpdresseddan, singtralala, svigali)
deusoma
+0 -1
I will freely admit to going "awwwww" to this story. I am a nerd, and I am damn proud of it!
I will freely admit to going "awwwww" to this story. I am a nerd, and I am damn proud of it!
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
I feel that it is important to note that Beef does not smile in the strip until he remembers the first time he met Molly. Hell of sweet man. It' like, even though he had a rad friend like Ray, there is a certain kind of happiness that could only be brought on by Molly.
I feel that it is important to note that Beef does not smile in the strip until he remembers the first time he met Molly. Hell of sweet man. It' like, even though he had a rad friend like Ray, there is a certain kind of happiness that could only be brought on by Molly.
stereo
+1 -0
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I've got this on endless loop, and every time I hear it, it seems more appropriate to Beef.
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I've got this on endless loop, and every time I hear it, it seems more appropriate to Beef.
d3athcann0n
+8 -0
Ah, marriage. The Great Indoor fight.
Ah, marriage. The Great Indoor fight.
scott_335
+0 -0
I would chubby this if I could.
I would chubby this if I could.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Why?
Why?
tekende
+0 -0
Because it's there.
Because it's there.
theirateturk
+0 -0
This is easily the best comment I've read to date
This is easily the best comment I've read to date
shades
+0 -0
I have no idea what any of that was supposed to be about
I have no idea what any of that was supposed to be about
irondave
+0 -1
I have to say that I don't really believe you. You've been reading the strip; most of the panels refer fairly directly to recent strips. I think you are being contrary just because you can.
I have to say that I don't really believe you. You've been reading the strip; most of the panels refer fairly directly to recent strips. I think you are being contrary just because you can.
schroedingsrcat
+0 -0
Perfect.
Perfect.
harrisonbender
+0 -0
A comment left by harrisonbender was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GloomyTangent, prius_chaser, svigali, Irien)
A comment left by harrisonbender was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GloomyTangent, prius_chaser, svigali, Irien)
loneal
+2 -2
When something is powerful enough to bring tears to my eyes, I rate it highly. Seeing the flashbacks to Beef's horrific childhood and reflecting on how he managed to overcome that and marry an excellent lady brings tears to my eyes.
When something is powerful enough to bring tears to my eyes, I rate it highly. Seeing the flashbacks to Beef's horrific childhood and reflecting on how he managed to overcome that and marry an excellent lady brings tears to my eyes.
bondijames
+0 -0
Agreed. I've come back to this strip several times over the last 24 hours and it keeps hitting me in powerful ways -- I mean, yes, it's just an internet comic strip, but I've stuck with these characters probably more than I have just about any other piece of pop culture in the past decade and to keep all these different story arcs and characters going and developing, and with such an arc (or series of arcs) to it is damn incredible, and really I think the collected works of Achewood are nearly Dickensian in scope and use of language and so on. I don't know who Onstad reads in his spare time but I would add that there is something very much of the Mr Biswas from VS Naipaul's "A House for Mr Biswas" in the character of Roast Beef ... essentially two dudes from circumstances, hit hard by depression, who make good at the end. Let's just hope this isn't the end.
Agreed. I've come back to this strip several times over the last 24 hours and it keeps hitting me in powerful ways -- I mean, yes, it's just an internet comic strip, but I've stuck with these characters probably more than I have just about any other piece of pop culture in the past decade and to keep all these different story arcs and characters going and developing, and with such an arc (or series of arcs) to it is damn incredible, and really I think the collected works of Achewood are nearly Dickensian in scope and use of language and so on. I don't know who Onstad reads in his spare time but I would add that there is something very much of the Mr Biswas from VS Naipaul's "A House for Mr Biswas" in the character of Roast Beef ... essentially two dudes from circumstances, hit hard by depression, who make good at the end. Let's just hope this isn't the end.
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chaobell, apocowarg, hedonismbot, KaMeT, techiebabe, mrblank91, cromar)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chaobell, apocowarg, hedonismbot, KaMeT, techiebabe, mrblank91, cromar)
loneal
+0 -0
A comment left by loneal was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lainestin, harrisonbender, Majumbo)
A comment left by loneal was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lainestin, harrisonbender, Majumbo)
shades
+1 -2
Uh. What.
Uh. What.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'll try to explain it using small words. You lamed her for simply not agreeing with you. She did not say anything mean. She did not post an image of a girl punching her dad's cock. You lamed her out of spite, because you are childish. That is what her post was about.
On a related note loneal, you got lamed to the ground by a couple of people with five posts between them. Machine elves indeed.
I'll try to explain it using small words. You lamed her for simply not agreeing with you. She did not say anything mean. She did not post an image of a girl punching her dad's cock. You lamed her out of spite, because you are childish. That is what her post was about.
On a related note loneal, you got lamed to the ground by a couple of people with five posts between them. Machine elves indeed.
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, BlueLoggy, techiebabe, mrblank91)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, BlueLoggy, techiebabe, mrblank91)
samcc
+0 -0
I just thought it was lame that an achewood strip brought tears to her eyes.
There is something genuinely wrong with you. The strip is beautiful, and someone has a genuinely emotional reaction (as I did), and you react this way... why? Shedding a tear because something beautiful pulled at something in you is lame?
I just thought it was lame that an achewood strip brought tears to her eyes.
There is something genuinely wrong with you. The strip is beautiful, and someone has a genuinely emotional reaction (as I did), and you react this way... why? Shedding a tear because something beautiful pulled at something in you is lame?
shades
+0 -1
No, it's a big beautiful world out there and there are a lot of things that pull at me, but it's just silly for anyone to think this series of images had much merit at all, much less get all choked up about it. But given your hysterically emotional reaction to me clicking a little hyperlink that says "Lame" underneath somebody's post, I'm beginning to understand the world you're coming from.
No, it's a big beautiful world out there and there are a lot of things that pull at me, but it's just silly for anyone to think this series of images had much merit at all, much less get all choked up about it. But given your hysterically emotional reaction to me clicking a little hyperlink that says "Lame" underneath somebody's post, I'm beginning to understand the world you're coming from.
loneal
+0 -1
samcc comes from a world in which people do not get automatically offended when prescription drugs are mentioned.
samcc comes from a world in which people do not get automatically offended when prescription drugs are mentioned.
shades
+0 -1
Yes, forgive me for rallying against something that killed my best friend. No idea why I might react poorly to casual mentions of prescription drug abuse.
Yes, forgive me for rallying against something that killed my best friend. No idea why I might react poorly to casual mentions of prescription drug abuse.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Heh, now we are just getting into the world of the profoundly off topic. This threadlet is getting to an interesting place at last.
Heh, now we are just getting into the world of the profoundly off topic. This threadlet is getting to an interesting place at last.
bixschmix
+1 -0
Guys, shade's best friend was killed by prescription drugs. Not good, not funny, not a good topic. It made her unable to tolerate the fact that pictures on the screen can cause someone to emote-- it just makes her MAAAAD.
Guys, shade's best friend was killed by prescription drugs. Not good, not funny, not a good topic. It made her unable to tolerate the fact that pictures on the screen can cause someone to emote-- it just makes her MAAAAD.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
U-U-U-ULTRA SLAM
U-U-U-ULTRA SLAM
fjak
+1 -0
it is a big beautiful world and this might just be one of the big beautiful things
such a ridiculously in depth world mr. onstad has created for us to enjoy and this is a ridiculously big event he has created in the world he's made for us
god forbid someone's enjoying achewood a little more than you
don't be a boner kill, buddy
it is a big beautiful world and this might just be one of the big beautiful things
such a ridiculously in depth world mr. onstad has created for us to enjoy and this is a ridiculously big event he has created in the world he's made for us
god forbid someone's enjoying achewood a little more than you
don't be a boner kill, buddy
loneal
+1 -1
They just love me, dude. Machine elves cold can't get enough of me.
They just love me, dude. Machine elves cold can't get enough of me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'll see if I can find some for you. You've been a good sport about the imprisonment thing, and I still need to say 'I'm sorry' for not feeding you this last week. Seriously, I didn't mean to forget, there were just so many naked things distracting me. So sorry
I'll see if I can find some for you. You've been a good sport about the imprisonment thing, and I still need to say 'I'm sorry' for not feeding you this last week. Seriously, I didn't mean to forget, there were just so many naked things distracting me. So sorry
lainestin
+0 -0
Machine elves? I don't think they exist.
Machine elves? I don't think they exist.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
HE IS REAL!
[IMGS OFF]
I'm sorry to recycle an image in the same thread, but it was so perfect
HE IS REAL!
[IMGS OFF]
I'm sorry to recycle an image in the same thread, but it was so perfect
loneal
+0 -0
Your avicon makes it like seventy times better.
Your avicon makes it like seventy times better.
cromar
+0 -0
Seventy? Really? LOL
Seventy? Really? LOL
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, did no one explain machine elves to you? You are one. In fact, you're my pet machine elf. I own you. Which means that by extension hedonismbot owns you. I think you will like this basement very much.
Oh, did no one explain machine elves to you? You are one. In fact, you're my pet machine elf. I own you. Which means that by extension hedonismbot owns you. I think you will like this basement very much.
lainestin
+0 -0
That isn't very nice.
That isn't very nice.
loneal
+0 -1
Oh my God, Lainestin, I just Googled you and it was awesome. Don't worry, I don't have a problem with short guys, I am shorter than you by a couple inches. I also don't have a problem with guys who play online games like UO; my first boyfriend was really into WoW, and it was cute. Neither of us want kids, both of us like LOST. We even live just a few hours away from each other! I see why you have been following me around so obsessively now. We are basically a match made in heaven.
Oh my God, Lainestin, I just Googled you and it was awesome. Don't worry, I don't have a problem with short guys, I am shorter than you by a couple inches. I also don't have a problem with guys who play online games like UO; my first boyfriend was really into WoW, and it was cute. Neither of us want kids, both of us like LOST. We even live just a few hours away from each other! I see why you have been following me around so obsessively now. We are basically a match made in heaven.
lainestin
+0 -0
That is both awesome and creepy at the same time.
I'm not following you obsessively. It is not like I have followed you outside of this one website. If anything, I have done you a favor by making lames meaningless. You're welcome.
That is both awesome and creepy at the same time.
I'm not following you obsessively. It is not like I have followed you outside of this one website. If anything, I have done you a favor by making lames meaningless. You're welcome.
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, I think you have gotten the wrong idea! Do not worry! I wasn't criticizing your following me around obsessively. I've already said having my lames become meaningless is awesome, and I know you saw that, because you lamed it. Searching for every instance of my name on every page of Assetbar so you can click a link under each comment is a little obsessive, though, dear. Almost by definition. I try to keep a harem of obsessed boys available at all times, though, so this ain't nothing particularly exciting or new. Welcome to Assetbar, tiny machine elf!
Oh, I think you have gotten the wrong idea! Do not worry! I wasn't criticizing your following me around obsessively. I've already said having my lames become meaningless is awesome, and I know you saw that, because you lamed it. Searching for every instance of my name on every page of Assetbar so you can click a link under each comment is a little obsessive, though, dear. Almost by definition. I try to keep a harem of obsessed boys available at all times, though, so this ain't nothing particularly exciting or new. Welcome to Assetbar, tiny machine elf!
lainestin
+0 -1
You do know that all I had to do was look at your profile to see all of your comments, right? It is not like I was scrolling down every list of comments looking for your name. It is very easy for someone to follow you around laming every comment you make, if they so desire to.
You do know that all I had to do was look at your profile to see all of your comments, right? It is not like I was scrolling down every list of comments looking for your name. It is very easy for someone to follow you around laming every comment you make, if they so desire to.
loneal
+0 -0
You do know that looking at my profile to see all of my comments and then clicking on them individually to lame them is actually more work than using the search function on your browser to find every instance of my name, right? And you do know that no matter how easy it is, it's still obsessive, right?
It's funny how hostile your tone comes off on the Internet when I can't actually hear your voice, dearest machine elf!
You do know that looking at my profile to see all of my comments and then clicking on them individually to lame them is actually more work than using the search function on your browser to find every instance of my name, right? And you do know that no matter how easy it is, it's still obsessive, right?
It's funny how hostile your tone comes off on the Internet when I can't actually hear your voice, dearest machine elf!
lainestin
+0 -0
Okay, you're right on both counts. It was a little bit obsessive and my method was not as efficient as possible. I will take note of the lessons I have learned from this experience and things will go much smoother next time.
If I have come off as hostile, I apologize. It was not my intent.
Okay, you're right on both counts. It was a little bit obsessive and my method was not as efficient as possible. I will take note of the lessons I have learned from this experience and things will go much smoother next time.
If I have come off as hostile, I apologize. It was not my intent.
loneal
+0 -0
Don't worry, I could tell you were not intending to be hostile by the loving caress of your mouse on my lame button.
Don't worry, I could tell you were not intending to be hostile by the loving caress of your mouse on my lame button.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
HEY! Keep your hands off her buttons, lame or not!
HEY! Keep your hands off her buttons, lame or not!
loneal
+0 -0
Yeah, Bender is definitely saying those lines.
Yeah, Bender is definitely saying those lines.
stereo
+0 -0
(this is in reference to a post made about 7 or 8 up unfortunately) Every time I see the words "loving" and "caress" it makes me think of the SA forum filter that replaces "fuck" with "caress gently" and "fucking" with "loving".
I'm not sure if that makes this asset any better or worse but I can't help but say something.
(this is in reference to a post made about 7 or 8 up unfortunately) Every time I see the words "loving" and "caress" it makes me think of the SA forum filter that replaces "fuck" with "caress gently" and "fucking" with "loving".
I'm not sure if that makes this asset any better or worse but I can't help but say something.
lainestin
+0 -1
Anyways, the whole point of me coming out into the open was to announce my retirement from laming you. This game is, sadly, neither exciting or rewarding for me anymore. I want you to know that I'll always remember the good times we shared here. Unfortunately, it is time for me to move on to bigger and better things.
Anyways, the whole point of me coming out into the open was to announce my retirement from laming you. This game is, sadly, neither exciting or rewarding for me anymore. I want you to know that I'll always remember the good times we shared here. Unfortunately, it is time for me to move on to bigger and better things.
loneal
+0 -1
But Lainestin! You can't go now! We only just barely got to meet you! You got a new avicon, got your hair did. You let us see a glimpse of the real Lainestin.
Come on, if you are the kind of person who could ever find that rewarding or exciting, you can keep it up for just a little while longer at least. I will feel exceedingly empty if I don't have a lame on every single one of my posts. Plus I don't want lames to start meaning something again!
How are we going to watch LOST together if you leave, Lainestin? I just finished popping the popcorn!
But Lainestin! You can't go now! We only just barely got to meet you! You got a new avicon, got your hair did. You let us see a glimpse of the real Lainestin.
Come on, if you are the kind of person who could ever find that rewarding or exciting, you can keep it up for just a little while longer at least. I will feel exceedingly empty if I don't have a lame on every single one of my posts. Plus I don't want lames to start meaning something again!
How are we going to watch LOST together if you leave, Lainestin? I just finished popping the popcorn!
lainestin
+0 -0
I feel like I'm being mocked. You're not coming off as sincere at all. I even have some slight doubt that you made any popcorn! You probably don't even like LOST. I simply cannot lame someone who is going to treat me this poorly.
I feel like I'm being mocked. You're not coming off as sincere at all. I even have some slight doubt that you made any popcorn! You probably don't even like LOST. I simply cannot lame someone who is going to treat me this poorly.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
She's got popcorn down there. She asked me for it. No Lost though. She gave up the show when Charlie came out as homophobic and tried to castrate Jin
She's got popcorn down there. She asked me for it. No Lost though. She gave up the show when Charlie came out as homophobic and tried to castrate Jin
lainestin
+0 -0
That must have been in one of the webisodes. I don't watch webisodes.
That must have been in one of the webisodes. I don't watch webisodes.
loneal
+0 -0
No, no, no, Charlie died and I was too heartbroken to care if you took my hair or not. That was our first date! How can you not remember this?
No, no, no, Charlie died and I was too heartbroken to care if you took my hair or not. That was our first date! How can you not remember this?
cromar
+0 -0
Sorry I lamed you guys. I really didn't have a reason.
Sorry I lamed you guys. I really didn't have a reason.
loneal
+0 -0
No man, that was highly needed. I need to ease into this whole "not every one of my posts is going to have a lame on it" thing very gradually, and you are helping me in that respect. Like a true friend.
As for Lainestin, he's never had the joy of being needlessly lamed that he so benevolently bestowed upon me. Therefore, you were a true friend to him as well.
You have comported yourself with a polished honor seen in few people these days. I for one, commend you.
No man, that was highly needed. I need to ease into this whole "not every one of my posts is going to have a lame on it" thing very gradually, and you are helping me in that respect. Like a true friend.
As for Lainestin, he's never had the joy of being needlessly lamed that he so benevolently bestowed upon me. Therefore, you were a true friend to him as well.
You have comported yourself with a polished honor seen in few people these days. I for one, commend you.
lainestin
+0 -0
It sounds like you still take lames a little personally.
It sounds like you still take lames a little personally.
loneal
+0 -0
You think whatever you want, dear, and the good lord God will provide.
You think whatever you want, dear, and the good lord God will provide.
fjak
+0 -0
all these sucka ass niggaz can eat a fat dick
yeah, loneal loneal loneal can eat a big fat... di-ick
lainestin can eat a big fat... di-ick
shades! can eat a big fat... di-ick, yeah, yeah, yeah
all these sucka ass niggaz can eat a fat dick
yeah, loneal loneal loneal can eat a big fat... di-ick
lainestin can eat a big fat... di-ick
shades! can eat a big fat... di-ick, yeah, yeah, yeah
phthoggos
+0 -0
JESUS CHRIST STOP TALKING
ALL OF YOU
JESUS CHRIST STOP TALKING
ALL OF YOU
catgrl131
+0 -0
...
...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Yay! I got some lames back! Just in time too
Yay! I got some lames back! Just in time too
cyclopticgaze
+0 -0
Of course this strip was "for the fans". No one ignorant of Achewood could read this and understand a damn thing. But that's not a cop-out. That makes it rich and deep. If you want a comic that's 100% non-self-referential, go read Garfield.
There's nothing cryptic about this strip and if you couldn't figure out the panels then that speaks more to you than it does to Onstad.
That said, I agree that the wedding arc has been more sentiment than excitement and I'm ready to move on.
Of course this strip was "for the fans". No one ignorant of Achewood could read this and understand a damn thing. But that's not a cop-out. That makes it rich and deep. If you want a comic that's 100% non-self-referential, go read Garfield.
There's nothing cryptic about this strip and if you couldn't figure out the panels then that speaks more to you than it does to Onstad.
That said, I agree that the wedding arc has been more sentiment than excitement and I'm ready to move on.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Really? You know a million better ways to represent the wedding? Could you share five or six with us? We've got a number of people here with actual knowledge of formal criticism, I'm sure they would be happy to see your ideas.
Really? You know a million better ways to represent the wedding? Could you share five or six with us? We've got a number of people here with actual knowledge of formal criticism, I'm sure they would be happy to see your ideas.
harrisonbender
+0 -1
One way in which it could have been better is if Onstad had focused this particular strip on beef and beef only, and had a separate strip with the other characters. Some of the sentimentality was spoiled because the strip went for too much.
One way in which it could have been better is if Onstad had focused this particular strip on beef and beef only, and had a separate strip with the other characters. Some of the sentimentality was spoiled because the strip went for too much.
pogo
+0 -0
Bravely put.
Bravely put.
sn0wman
+0 -0
Heh, I found The Future because I couldn't remember what year we saw Molly leaving Beef (it was 2039), and have just realized that Beef's wedding hairstyle is the one we saw him with in 2012 and 2019.
Heh, I found The Future because I couldn't remember what year we saw Molly leaving Beef (it was 2039), and have just realized that Beef's wedding hairstyle is the one we saw him with in 2012 and 2019.
elzilcho
+14 -2
Show, don't tell. Don't explain with a mound of dialog what can be shown in a single frame. It's in the edit, in the sudden impact between two unrelated ideas, that the viewer really finds meaning.
My film teacher told us that the first day of class. And Beef's series of flashbacks is one of the best examples I've ever seen, film or not.
It says so much; he laughs at the J-cups, he's punched in the gut remembering the Wonder bag, and he's resigned himself to cry alone out on the corner... but then he sees how far he's come. Getting over his depression, dressing up like Lincoln to rap with his best friend.
The sudden familiarity brings him back. Feeling unresolved, he thinks of Molly. He remembers the freedom of floating lonely in space. He remembers the freedom that brought him to Molly. The one person that matters most to him, the one person pushing him to be more than he ever was before.
And he smiles.
It's so perfect, such a beautiful glimpse into the mind of some geeky, depressive cat. The instant roller-coaster of emotions as he scans over his loved ones and reflects on all the memories they've brought him.
In all, my favorite nuance to this moment is seeing the calm wash over him. Everyone is looking at him. Everyone is thinking about him. This guy can't even buy groceries without a panic attack, but on this day, with all eyes on him... all he sees is Molly.
This is the best moment of his life to date, and we've got the Beef's-eye view. Beautiful, just beautiful.
Show, don't tell. Don't explain with a mound of dialog what can be shown in a single frame. It's in the edit, in the sudden impact between two unrelated ideas, that the viewer really finds meaning.
My film teacher told us that the first day of class. And Beef's series of flashbacks is one of the best examples I've ever seen, film or not.
It says so much; he laughs at the J-cups, he's punched in the gut remembering the Wonder bag, and he's resigned himself to cry alone out on the corner... but then he sees how far he's come. Getting over his depression, dressing up like Lincoln to rap with his best friend.
The sudden familiarity brings him back. Feeling unresolved, he thinks of Molly. He remembers the freedom of floating lonely in space. He remembers the freedom that brought him to Molly. The one person that matters most to him, the one person pushing him to be more than he ever was before.
And he smiles.
It's so perfect, such a beautiful glimpse into the mind of some geeky, depressive cat. The instant roller-coaster of emotions as he scans over his loved ones and reflects on all the memories they've brought him.
In all, my favorite nuance to this moment is seeing the calm wash over him. Everyone is looking at him. Everyone is thinking about him. This guy can't even buy groceries without a panic attack, but on this day, with all eyes on him... all he sees is Molly.
This is the best moment of his life to date, and we've got the Beef's-eye view. Beautiful, just beautiful.
hamscout
+0 -0
Chubby upon chubby. Absolutely.
Even if you don't think this strip is the best Onstad's ever created, you can 'Five' it for the significance of the event--for the culmination of all of the events/hardships/joys that brought Beef to this point.
It's the same reason we applaud after a wedding--we know the marriage won't be perfect, but we recognize that it is basically a thing .
Chubby upon chubby. Absolutely.
Even if you don't think this strip is the best Onstad's ever created, you can 'Five' it for the significance of the event--for the culmination of all of the events/hardships/joys that brought Beef to this point.
It's the same reason we applaud after a wedding--we know the marriage won't be perfect, but we recognize that it is basically a thing .
j_smoothhands
+0 -0
Indeed.
The panel where Beef smiles is by far the best, most moving panel in all of Achewood.
Indeed.
The panel where Beef smiles is by far the best, most moving panel in all of Achewood.
gyllstromk
+0 -1
thanks professor, but isn't all that stuff already clear from the comic?
thanks professor, but isn't all that stuff already clear from the comic?
elzilcho
+0 -0
Yup. :) I actually smiled that I've been lamed. I don't care. I just like slowing down my thought process and writing it out. I find it fun to appreciate art that way.
Besides, as of this comment, six other people liked what I had to say, and that's six more than I expected to care. Life goes on, right?
Yup. :) I actually smiled that I've been lamed. I don't care. I just like slowing down my thought process and writing it out. I find it fun to appreciate art that way.
Besides, as of this comment, six other people liked what I had to say, and that's six more than I expected to care. Life goes on, right?
professorhazard
+0 -0
Don't you talk to me!
Don't you talk to me!
misterspook
+2 -0
I believe there's been some misunderstanding of the ter "fanservice."
I will explain.
As we all know fanservice is art designed to cause violent mastrubation. This is a given, although the tentacles are optional
While I understand that pissing otters and babies in wonder bread sacks are a fetish for a substantial portion of our community (at least every member that uses the word fanservice) it is NOT considered sexually arousing by the majority, and was probably not placed in the strip for the specific purpose of violent mastrubation occuring.
Hence, this strip is not fanservice.
Unlike the one where Lyle pukes on the football.
I believe there's been some misunderstanding of the ter "fanservice."
I will explain.
As we all know fanservice is art designed to cause violent mastrubation. This is a given, although the tentacles are optional
While I understand that pissing otters and babies in wonder bread sacks are a fetish for a substantial portion of our community (at least every member that uses the word fanservice) it is NOT considered sexually arousing by the majority, and was probably not placed in the strip for the specific purpose of violent mastrubation occuring.
Hence, this strip is not fanservice.
Unlike the one where Lyle pukes on the football.
gyrate
+1 -0
Normally I'd disagree, but he did spiral it.
Normally I'd disagree, but he did spiral it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and it went about three feet!
and it went about three feet!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure they mean fanservice in terms of the author gratuitously giving his audience what they want to read as opposed to what he might feel is more befitting the character or circumstances. In this instance, it's because they probably feel like a pleasant wedding ceremony with no major cock-ups or drama is completely and unforgivably out of place given the character of Beef and the negative luck that he is normally afflicted with in the strip.
Of course, what these people would much rather have seen with this strip is Gramma K, high as hell on crystal meth and hatred , gunning down the still-smiling Beef from a nearby dugout as he goes in for his first wedded kiss with Molly, causing her to shriek in horror as her bridal whites are streaked with the lifeblood of her beloved.
That was just an example. It could also be something much better.
I'm pretty sure they mean fanservice in terms of the author gratuitously giving his audience what they want to read as opposed to what he might feel is more befitting the character or circumstances. In this instance, it's because they probably feel like a pleasant wedding ceremony with no major cock-ups or drama is completely and unforgivably out of place given the character of Beef and the negative luck that he is normally afflicted with in the strip.
Of course, what these people would much rather have seen with this strip is Gramma K, high as hell on crystal meth and hatred , gunning down the still-smiling Beef from a nearby dugout as he goes in for his first wedded kiss with Molly, causing her to shriek in horror as her bridal whites are streaked with the lifeblood of her beloved.
That was just an example. It could also be something much better.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Hot hot hot.
Hot hot hot.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
What would you give to your mother, dear?
My bridal whites which I do wear.
Oh, but she must wash them very clean,
for Roast Beef's lifeblood sticks in ev'ry seam.
What would you give to your mother, dear?
My bridal whites which I do wear.
Oh, but she must wash them very clean,
for Roast Beef's lifeblood sticks in ev'ry seam.
hexjumper
+0 -0
I realize that this is probably a modification of an old folk song, but look at it another way: Beef gets killed so often that Molly now knows in advance that his life's blood is sticky as all hell, and will require extra scrubbing to get out.
I realize that this is probably a modification of an old folk song, but look at it another way: Beef gets killed so often that Molly now knows in advance that his life's blood is sticky as all hell, and will require extra scrubbing to get out.
ivanstrel
+0 -0
When i turned to the tab with this comic on it, Clair de Lune started playing on iTunes. Yeah baby, yeah.
When i turned to the tab with this comic on it, Clair de Lune started playing on iTunes. Yeah baby, yeah.
gyrate
+2 -0
I can't help but feel that this strip should have been titled "Pomp and Circumstances".
I'm just sayin', is all.
I can't help but feel that this strip should have been titled "Pomp and Circumstances".
I'm just sayin', is all.
scott_335
+0 -0
I would chubby this too, if I could.
I would chubby this too, if I could.
xi
+1 -0
I wanna get all nasty at the reception. I do.
I wanna get all nasty at the reception. I do.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Dibs!
Dibs!
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
chubby for the avatar
chubby for the avatar
hardelicious
+0 -1
Molly has very powerful-looking thighs. Have fun tonight, Beef.
Molly has very powerful-looking thighs. Have fun tonight, Beef.
cthulhu235
+0 -0
Cornelius really ties this strip together.
Cornelius really ties this strip together.
octafish
+2 -0
And this dude peed on him?
And this dude peed on him?
clmalone84
+0 -0
I believe I'll be getting all nasty at the reception on Thursday.
I believe I'll be getting all nasty at the reception on Thursday.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Was Onsrad asking who will be getting freaky at the reception, or who will be getting freaky with HIM at the reception? It's academic for me really, I'll be humping his leg the whole time either way
Was Onsrad asking who will be getting freaky at the reception, or who will be getting freaky with HIM at the reception? It's academic for me really, I'll be humping his leg the whole time either way
theguitarhero
+0 -0
what are you all talkink about?
what are you all talkink about?
catgrl131
+0 -0
From the main page: "This strip took four days to make, so I'm lettin' it sit one more. Who wants to get all nasty at the reception on Thursday?"
From the main page: "This strip took four days to make, so I'm lettin' it sit one more. Who wants to get all nasty at the reception on Thursday?"
pogo
+0 -0
Yeah baby!
Yeah baby!
kittydragon
+0 -0
Getting nasty with him and with others. Possibly at the same time.
Getting nasty with him and with others. Possibly at the same time.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm down with this. There is enough Hedonismbot for all.
Seriously, I just had an extra 4 penii attached. I'm like a sprinkler.
I'm down with this. There is enough Hedonismbot for all.
Seriously, I just had an extra 4 penii attached. I'm like a sprinkler.
gyllstromk
+1 -0
Not a big fan of the overly emotional comics.
Not a big fan of the overly emotional comics.
kamet
+1 -0
Aren't we sand on the flames of love.
Aren't we sand on the flames of love.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Onstad draws weird kissy lips.
Discuss.
Onstad draws weird kissy lips.
Discuss.
hedonismbot
+1 -1
I'll say it. He's not a good artist. He can't draw well. He conveys action well enough, and has great ideas for visual work (like cartilage head), but his technical ability is very weak. Tell him to draw a horse, and he will do so poorly. Tell him to draw a nintendo, and you will get an amateurly drawn cock. He's not very skilled with art. The non-visual-technical stuff is his forte.
His kissing lips look like fish that got stuck in the filter.
I'll say it. He's not a good artist. He can't draw well. He conveys action well enough, and has great ideas for visual work (like cartilage head), but his technical ability is very weak. Tell him to draw a horse, and he will do so poorly. Tell him to draw a nintendo, and you will get an amateurly drawn cock. He's not very skilled with art. The non-visual-technical stuff is his forte.
His kissing lips look like fish that got stuck in the filter.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I disagree. The aisle shot was impressive to look at, and the expressiveness of the characters is well done. Not photorealistic or anything, but that was never what he was going for.
I disagree. The aisle shot was impressive to look at, and the expressiveness of the characters is well done. Not photorealistic or anything, but that was never what he was going for.
loneal
+0 -0
He can draw Keith Moon's severed and pickled head way better than I ever could, that's for sure.
He can draw Keith Moon's severed and pickled head way better than I ever could, that's for sure.
margargaret
+0 -0
It's called "posterize".
It's called "posterize".
margargaret
+0 -0
Or possibly "traced in a vector program".
Or possibly "traced in a vector program".
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Solid. I'm pretty sure he understands his shortcomings, and does things like that to work around them. He's mentioned in interviews that he doesn't think he's great at drawing. I appreciate that he doesn't try to hand-draw Keith Moon when he wants to convey Keith Moon. He does what he needs to to get the humor and story across.
Solid. I'm pretty sure he understands his shortcomings, and does things like that to work around them. He's mentioned in interviews that he doesn't think he's great at drawing. I appreciate that he doesn't try to hand-draw Keith Moon when he wants to convey Keith Moon. He does what he needs to to get the humor and story across.
margargaret
+0 -0
Oh, don't get me wrong. I appreciate that he was able to convey the idea of Keith-Moon's-head-in-a-jar so well. I had it as my AIM icon, until I stopped using AIM.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I appreciate that he was able to convey the idea of Keith-Moon's-head-in-a-jar so well. I had it as my AIM icon, until I stopped using AIM.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
He seems to really grasp how to express things, and the aisle bit is well composed, but I still think he lacks some technique. Take those godawful collar bones for example. A more experienced cartoonist would make them much clearer. He's good enough to know that something elegant like that is nice, but not too great at making it happen. Of course, the art quality is the least important part of Achewood. It is less important than the trolls on the forums.
He seems to really grasp how to express things, and the aisle bit is well composed, but I still think he lacks some technique. Take those godawful collar bones for example. A more experienced cartoonist would make them much clearer. He's good enough to know that something elegant like that is nice, but not too great at making it happen. Of course, the art quality is the least important part of Achewood. It is less important than the trolls on the forums.
irondave
+0 -0
Guy gets a lot out of an eyebrow or a mouth or a sssssssssip. I won't say he's James Marshall, but there are some parallels.
Guy gets a lot out of an eyebrow or a mouth or a sssssssssip. I won't say he's James Marshall, but there are some parallels.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
As a child, he was frequently given weird kisses by his mother? Or maybe he was deeply affected when he saw that one Plympton animation.
As a child, he was frequently given weird kisses by his mother? Or maybe he was deeply affected when he saw that one Plympton animation.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
fail.
fail.
syrupykeyboard
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
TsHoArNrKyS
[IMGS OFF]
TsHoArNrKyS
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
beef, you don't see heels like that these days.
beef, you don't see heels like that these days.
rawk5tar
+0 -1
This comic only serves to remind me of my loneliness. So fuck you guys.
This comic only serves to remind me of my loneliness. So fuck you guys.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i am thinking of laying my facehand avi to rest.
any others care to join in?
i am thinking of laying my facehand avi to rest.
any others care to join in?
catgrl131
+0 -0
Yeah, I think I will too. The only problem is finding a new one....
*Psst* The person who suggests me the best avicon will win the amazing sum of one (1) catgrl chubby. Yeah, thats right. I just started a contest.
Yeah, I think I will too. The only problem is finding a new one....
*Psst* The person who suggests me the best avicon will win the amazing sum of one (1) catgrl chubby. Yeah, thats right. I just started a contest.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Bat ring leads to thoughts of:
- Joker, either Heath Ledger or Cesar Romero
- that Harlequin girl from the cartoon that was Joker's sometime sidekick
- Catwoman (sorry, Halle Berry doesn't count, unless you can do an animated GIF or avi of her walking in that ridiculous leather suit)
Bat ring leads to thoughts of:
- Joker, either Heath Ledger or Cesar Romero
- that Harlequin girl from the cartoon that was Joker's sometime sidekick
- Catwoman (sorry, Halle Berry doesn't count, unless you can do an animated GIF or avi of her walking in that ridiculous leather suit)
octafish
+1 -1
Eartha Kitt
[IMGS OFF]
Nastassia Kinski
[IMGS OFF]
Battle Cat (and He-Man)
[IMGS OFF]
Cat in a hoodie
[IMGS OFF]
Eartha Kitt
[IMGS OFF]
Nastassia Kinski
[IMGS OFF]
Battle Cat (and He-Man)
[IMGS OFF]
Cat in a hoodie
[IMGS OFF]
pogo
+0 -0
Kinski's got my vote.
Kinski's got my vote.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Yeah, she even looks like Kinski in her hand-face picture.
Yeah, she even looks like Kinski in her hand-face picture.
xi
+0 -0
Cat in a hoodie ftw.
Cat in a hoodie ftw.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
I vote for you using a cutout of Pogo's son, just to fuck with the old guy
I vote for you using a cutout of Pogo's son, just to fuck with the old guy
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
see, i'm not so confused. i think i'm just going to go back to my 'breath' avi. i miss it.
see, i'm not so confused. i think i'm just going to go back to my 'breath' avi. i miss it.
pogo
+0 -0
What were you using before Handface Weekend?
What were you using before Handface Weekend?
catgrl131
+0 -0
The "Here comes a special girl" logo.
The "Here comes a special girl" logo.
pogo
+0 -0
Well I'm switching to a slightly blurry shot because I don't really want to be recongnized. No, actually it's a great shot the my fiancee took but it doens't upload very well.
Well I'm switching to a slightly blurry shot because I don't really want to be recongnized. No, actually it's a great shot the my fiancee took but it doens't upload very well.
pogo
+0 -0
I also was typing like shit yesterday!
I also was typing like shit yesterday!
pogo
+0 -0
This now makes no sense, as I swtiched my pic several times and may settle on a Pogo for President campaign button.
This now makes no sense, as I swtiched my pic several times and may settle on a Pogo for President campaign button.
honky_tonk_beej
+0 -0
A comment left by honky_tonk_beej was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by falseprophet, prius_chaser, HolyQ)
A comment left by honky_tonk_beej was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by falseprophet, prius_chaser, HolyQ)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
does andretti look like james woods to anyone else?
does andretti look like james woods to anyone else?
professorhazard
+0 -0
I can see it.
I can see it.
kleptonis
+0 -0
Oh hey, Ray stopped wearing that thong all the time. When did that happen?
Oh hey, Ray stopped wearing that thong all the time. When did that happen?
nilehus
+0 -0
The strip is perfect. A culmination of many, many years of incredible writing.
The flashbacks... Beef has come a long way. I'm actually proud of a comic character. As many others have said, bravo, Onstad. Bravo.
The strip is perfect. A culmination of many, many years of incredible writing.
The flashbacks... Beef has come a long way. I'm actually proud of a comic character. As many others have said, bravo, Onstad. Bravo.
gwillikers
+0 -0
I was actually teary-eyed by the last panel. Much props.
I was actually teary-eyed by the last panel. Much props.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Bye guys.
Bye guys.
catgrl131
+0 -0
W-where are you going?
W-where are you going?
pogo
+0 -0
I think he was just taking advantage of being the last post -- until we ruined it for him! BWAHAHAHAHA!
I think he was just taking advantage of being the last post -- until we ruined it for him! BWAHAHAHAHA!
fjak
+0 -0
cello is all hella groanin out a canon in D
or would teodor not make that mistake
cello is all hella groanin out a canon in D
or would teodor not make that mistake
cailetshadow
+0 -0
no. this:
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.
Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
no. this:
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.
Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
atticusonline
+1 -0
Eight-hundred and forty-third!
...am I...am I late?
Eight-hundred and forty-third!
...am I...am I late?
pohlhoud
+1 -0
THESE KNIV
wait what are you looking at. What do you mean, wrong strip ?
THESE KNIV
wait what are you looking at. What do you mean, wrong strip ?
cmr
+0 -0
A comment left by cmr was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, Deusoma, geozimmdrake)
A comment left by cmr was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, Deusoma, geozimmdrake)
neonaoneo
+1 -2
You're the kind of person who ruins things for other people because you have hell of warped value systems
You're the kind of person who ruins things for other people because you have hell of warped value systems
panopticism
+0 -0
i've been waiting for this moment ever since the strip where beef and molly discuss what dogs are saying when they bark.
i've been waiting for this moment ever since the strip where beef and molly discuss what dogs are saying when they bark.
ketelcat
+0 -0
The only thing about this strip that isn't perfect is it's name. In fact it's name probably is perfec too - I just don't get it. This makes me too happy inside, given that these are cartoon cats getting married here and I barely even know them..
The only thing about this strip that isn't perfect is it's name. In fact it's name probably is perfec too - I just don't get it. This makes me too happy inside, given that these are cartoon cats getting married here and I barely even know them..
bpmead
+0 -0
Throne Room music from Star Wars, anyone?
Throne Room music from Star Wars, anyone?
mattmatic
+0 -0
it would have been neat if they stepped on a glass
it would have been neat if they stepped on a glass
bondinatowel
+0 -0
A comment left by bondinatowel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KaMeT, BPMead, AtlanticCity)
A comment left by bondinatowel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by KaMeT, BPMead, AtlanticCity)
mustakrakesh
+0 -0
YAY!!!! Roast Beef married the hell outta that woman!
YAY!!!! Roast Beef married the hell outta that woman!
tad-
+0 -0
The third, fourth, and fifth rows of this comic show are a pretty clear reminder of the depth of the characters, and are likely the most important thing Onstad has done with Achewood.
I have watched people here make arguments about how this can, in a way, act as a prison for the author and the characters that eventually kills the story for the readership, but I'm going to disagree. If anything, those three silent rows demonstrate that everything we have watched over the years as fans has culminated into a meaningful relationship, not even between the characters, but between the reader and the characters. We draw the lines and make this story meaningful. Those rows are nothing without the relationship you've formed with Roast Beef. Some of us, seems like a lot of us, love Roast Beef almost as much as Ray does. That's a powerful tool for the author to have, and I really doubt that tool serves as the key to the cage.
The third, fourth, and fifth rows of this comic show are a pretty clear reminder of the depth of the characters, and are likely the most important thing Onstad has done with Achewood.
I have watched people here make arguments about how this can, in a way, act as a prison for the author and the characters that eventually kills the story for the readership, but I'm going to disagree. If anything, those three silent rows demonstrate that everything we have watched over the years as fans has culminated into a meaningful relationship, not even between the characters, but between the reader and the characters. We draw the lines and make this story meaningful. Those rows are nothing without the relationship you've formed with Roast Beef. Some of us, seems like a lot of us, love Roast Beef almost as much as Ray does. That's a powerful tool for the author to have, and I really doubt that tool serves as the key to the cage.
randombeing
+0 -0
A comment left by randombeing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, KaMeT, resident, uforgotpoland, chivalress, Tad-, ActualTaunt, AtlanticCity, Fathington)
A comment left by randombeing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, KaMeT, resident, uforgotpoland, chivalress, Tad-, ActualTaunt, AtlanticCity, Fathington)
atlanticcity
+0 -0
This was the current strip when I first started reading the archive. It took me a while, but now I get to shed a tear over it with the rest of you
This was the current strip when I first started reading the archive. It took me a while, but now I get to shed a tear over it with the rest of you
atlanticcity
+0 -0
DAMN IT!
DAMN IT!
atlanticcity
+0 -0
This was the current strip when I first started reading the archive. It took me a while, but now I get to shed a tear over it with the rest of you
This was the current strip when I first started reading the archive. It took me a while, but now I get to shed a tear over it with the rest of you
pogo
+0 -0
Not sure that was worth repeating, unless I'm missing something.
Not sure that was worth repeating, unless I'm missing something.
atlanticcity
+0 -0
I accidentally hit enter twice. That would basically be the thing here.
I accidentally hit enter twice. That would basically be the thing here.
pogo
+1 -0
You are forgiven, my brother.
You are forgiven, my brother.
atlanticcity
+0 -0
People always thinkink I am dude. Is not so. Wonder if havink male in profile pic is beink reason
;)
People always thinkink I am dude. Is not so. Wonder if havink male in profile pic is beink reason
;)
vermy
+0 -0
I cannot read this without hearing Radiohead's "All I Need" Is this bad?
I cannot read this without hearing Radiohead's "All I Need" Is this bad?
goro
+0 -0
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm sorry. My heart was once plundered to the tune of that record.
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm sorry. My heart was once plundered to the tune of that record.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
yayyyyyyyy~
yayyyyyyyy~
mashisoyo
+0 -0
One of the first Achewood strips I saw, cos it was so highly rated. Made no sense to me at all. Now, it almost makes me cry... I love that this comic can be so funny, and so moving. In the same strip even!
One of the first Achewood strips I saw, cos it was so highly rated. Made no sense to me at all. Now, it almost makes me cry... I love that this comic can be so funny, and so moving. In the same strip even!
doctorbeene
+0 -0
Man Ray is the smoothest man in the world. That jacket swipe was the most legit thing ever done. [i]Ever.[\i]
Man Ray is the smoothest man in the world. That jacket swipe was the most legit thing ever done. [i]Ever.[\i]
terrynation
+0 -1
Disturbing.
Disturbing.
franknbeans
+0 -0
Brides in Space - great new theme
Brides in Space - great new theme
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Saints and sinners, man, I almost cried seeing this one again. I am not too ashamed to admit this. This is a touching moment, especially for a man from circumstances.
Saints and sinners, man, I almost cried seeing this one again. I am not too ashamed to admit this. This is a touching moment, especially for a man from circumstances.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
L... Listen to the "Star Wars" theme whilst reading this.
Screw the Godfather, this is the tops... my eyes... I have something in both my eyes...
L... Listen to the "Star Wars" theme whilst reading this.
Screw the Godfather, this is the tops... my eyes... I have something in both my eyes...
tragicone
+0 -0
You know, what gets me about roast beef is his hair.
He has it when most convenient for him.
You know, what gets me about roast beef is his hair.
He has it when most convenient for him.
savythomas
+0 -0
Somehow, Onstad, you have managed to get me so invested in this story, that during both this strip, and the terrible bachelor party strip, i have nearly cried...
Congratulations, I now feel like a complete prick.
Somehow, Onstad, you have managed to get me so invested in this story, that during both this strip, and the terrible bachelor party strip, i have nearly cried...
Congratulations, I now feel like a complete prick.
nobodyhome
+0 -0
This strip marks the moment I was assured that Onstad is a fucking genius.
Just thought I'd let you all know.
This strip marks the moment I was assured that Onstad is a fucking genius.
Just thought I'd let you all know.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Ray's floppy arm walk reminds me of Jerry Lewis' girlish run in The King of Comedy
Ray's floppy arm walk reminds me of Jerry Lewis' girlish run in The King of Comedy
nixnada
+0 -0
This one needs more than 5 points!
It's just beautiful.
This one needs more than 5 points!
It's just beautiful.
macfall
+0 -0
rayonatoilet
+0 -0
The dude is no longer from circumstances.
The dude is no longer from circumstances.
fras
+0 -0
Our ring bearer wet his pants at our wedding, exactly as cute as you'd imagine.
Our ring bearer wet his pants at our wedding, exactly as cute as you'd imagine.
A comment left by flaxplus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sagoon, theoneyouwant, Kirby119, joamiq, harold)
A comment left by tibcoolbreeze was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Ariamaki, Kirby119, mrchee, slysa)
A comment left by erinye was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by regrepnsnefpoh, mrchee, ghoti, Fathington)
A comment left by apricotta was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jamb23, Dovey, spamantha, tasteful, Spoon, Jordstar, blastradius, NeoNaoNeo, Feste, selectedacre, Bitaku, TheLoneliestMonkey, trapperjohn, bray, BillyLK, RogueCheddar, Afkpuz, shoethings, Cracker, HollyBones, ersatz, perhapsmaybe, OnePaperTiger, gonchoriffic, dj_douche, harold, _PINK)
You magnificent bastard. If I could chubby AND lame you at once, I would.
Today is Achewood Day, I decree.
I am going to drink a magnum and start at the very beginning.
make that a steel reserve and i WILL join you
Racer 5 for me!
dead guy ale.
That's what I'm screaming about.
Blue Nun.
aw hell what am i saying.
Boddingtons.
devil's dictionaries all around
[IMGS OFF]
Blue Nun.
God damn man. That is an idea. That is a THING TO DO. Just straight up drink a moderate amount of pleasant alcohol and read achewood from the beginning until you don't feel like it no more or you run out of comics, ignoring all other cares.
If we make a page on Facebook, e could make it a public holiday.
my W key hates me today.
A comment left by reddvvarf was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, byronic, ActualTaunt, Flipper_the_Dolphin_Bitch, morbo, tragicone)
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, NeoNaoNeo, joeynarcotic, rascaldom, rodneystubbs, superking, joamiq)
maybe a more relevant analogy would be to someone saying a sentence about a movie and your logging your dis/approval about the sentence twice, once through the established channels and then again out loud in front of everyone
I chubby you. Because I, too, would gloat about such a thing.
...aaaaaand it was great. This surprises nobody.
Imagine if you asked me what I thought of a movie & I showed "thumbs down", simultaenously launching into a long-winded & irrelevant discussion of what I hated about it.
You think on that, and you just THINK.
And when you're done with that, you THINK some more.
Sorry, that seemed funny, at the time.
Huge slam on the Assetbar community out of... well... out of somewhere we all know about.
Hey Dr. welcome back.
i do. [silently gives thumbs down]
Well played, Onstad. Well played.
*TOMORROW - Lyle pukes so hard it makes a football go three feet*
Man, this strip makes me nervous. Like, could we be viewing The End?
I mean I know it ain't so, but man...I am in a Way about this.
A comment left by rascaldom was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcowgill, Vice, blacksheepboy, _cheesekayke)
Don't worry, this is not going to become a comic that is permanently about a baby
fuck, *their married life, or more awkwardly "they are married" life.
Has no one been seeing the ads for the premium updates? Does anyone have it? It says that last week they were getting updates about the reception. Recently, it said there were updates about the honeymoon. So life goes on.
It seems lame, junk sent to your mobile or something.
The internet is full of sites promising live 'honeymoon updates' - plus ca change...
plus c'est pareil.
The best part of this strip would have to be, on the right side, about 5 strips down, where Molly and Beef are looking at each other, and in between them is the strip where Beef and Molly first meet. Just taking that out on it's own-- it's very heartwarming.
A dweam wapped wiffin a dweam
[IMGS OFF]
MAWWIAGE!
To Philippe: Have you the wing?
*growl* awriight! The short short version...
Do you? Yes! Do you? Yes!
GOOD! Now KISS her!
This is exactly what i thought of when I saw tibcoolbreeze's comment! Thank you sir!
MAWWIAGE IS WOT BWINGS US TOGEVAH, TODAY.
[IMGS OFF]
... AGAIN...
...is what bwings us...togevahhh...today.
Of course, when I scroll down I see that - of course - there's been princess bride quips up the wazoo. ... incontheivable ! ...actually, no; quite expected. Stupid me.
Actually, I really valued your repeat quote. The pauses are really important.
A comment left by moolah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Kirby119, dreamerman91, perhapsmaybe, harold)
no.
y-yes?
nope, turns out it was no.
I don't want to see a ghost, it's a sight that I fear most. I'd rather have a piece of toast, and watch the evening news.
Amen, brother.
Worst. Lyrics. Ever.
More songs should include lyrics about food/television combinations that are preferable to paranormal experiences.
"I don't want to dabble in Ouija, I'd rather eat this linguini, and watch Parker Lewis Can't Lose.
N.B. This Des'Ree fan fiction requires the "wee-jee" pronounciation of ouija to be effective.