keir
+0 -0
A comment left by keir was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rechelon, milkpants, crispyambulance)
A comment left by keir was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rechelon, milkpants, crispyambulance)
straw
+14 -0
I'm kind of surprised nobody has mentioned how closely it's come to Beef's nightmare nearly coming true .
I'm kind of surprised nobody has mentioned how closely it's come to Beef's nightmare nearly coming true .
hbaranov
+0 -0
Well I was going to, but you just did.
Well I was going to, but you just did.
spinynorman
+1 -0
This strip implies that Showbiz knows how to work a camera, not to mention play the file in a media player. For a guy who finds analog clocks unreadable, I find this a little surprising. Maybe he's been pulling a Todd and going to night school to score with some desperate 44 year old trailer pixie, and he's absorbed a few things during his fumbling attempts.
This strip implies that Showbiz knows how to work a camera, not to mention play the file in a media player. For a guy who finds analog clocks unreadable, I find this a little surprising. Maybe he's been pulling a Todd and going to night school to score with some desperate 44 year old trailer pixie, and he's absorbed a few things during his fumbling attempts.
king_duncan
+1 -0
Well, it is a rather jinkety-assed media player.
Well, it is a rather jinkety-assed media player.
zeltaen
+2 -0
You're underestimating the lengths a guy will go to in order to see some good old fashioned nudity. Combine that with Showbiz's complete lack of morals and you've got him turning all that energy toward dire ends. He could rule the world.
You're underestimating the lengths a guy will go to in order to see some good old fashioned nudity. Combine that with Showbiz's complete lack of morals and you've got him turning all that energy toward dire ends. He could rule the world.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
it's like when your score gets high enough in old video games that it goes back to zero.
it's like when your score gets high enough in old video games that it goes back to zero.
loneal
+3 -2
Beef's arm muscles are flexing in keyboard-related rage once more!
Beef's arm muscles are flexing in keyboard-related rage once more!
loneal
+1 -2
In fact, look at Beef's muscles in comparison to Showbiz's skeletal arms and bony shoulder knobs.
In fact, look at Beef's muscles in comparison to Showbiz's skeletal arms and bony shoulder knobs.
gormster
+0 -0
Showbiz's shoulders are freaking me out.
Showbiz's shoulders are freaking me out.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I didn't realise that women were so judgemental? :confused: :(
I didn't realise that women were so judgemental? :confused: :(
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
HA
HA
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
you must not talk to many chicks.....
you must not talk to many chicks.....
colorlessness
+0 -0
Showbiz's arms actually thicken considerably when he masturbates.
Showbiz's arms actually thicken considerably when he masturbates.
hbaranov
+1 -0
Maybe he popped an energy drink? Taurine makes your veins swell
Maybe he popped an energy drink? Taurine makes your veins swell
pygmalion00
+1 -0
If you jerk off long enough, it's actually a good substitute for lifting a five pound weight.
If you jerk off long enough, it's actually a good substitute for lifting a five pound weight.
invidious
+0 -0
Twenty pounds for some of us.
(Wokka wokka wokka!)
Twenty pounds for some of us.
(Wokka wokka wokka!)
gormster
+0 -0
Or in my case, a fifteen pound weight .
Or in my case, a fifteen pound weight .
hedonismbot
+1 -0
6 hours late. Were you busy, um, working out?
6 hours late. Were you busy, um, working out?
vice
+0 -0
Beef is on the fuck plan.
Beef is on the fuck plan.
hamscout
+5 -0
As my eyes left panel 5, they drifted into the 'Showbiz soap scene', I thought it was a panel of Showbiz getting punched/kicked hard in the berries.
...the soapy mass looked like a cartoon "fight", his own leg looking like the deliverer of a Jean Claude front kick from off-frame, Showbiz's hands going down in a futile attempt to block it, and the ecstatic look on his face could also work for excruciating pain...
As my eyes left panel 5, they drifted into the 'Showbiz soap scene', I thought it was a panel of Showbiz getting punched/kicked hard in the berries.
...the soapy mass looked like a cartoon "fight", his own leg looking like the deliverer of a Jean Claude front kick from off-frame, Showbiz's hands going down in a futile attempt to block it, and the ecstatic look on his face could also work for excruciating pain...
catjumpjohn
+1 -0
Patience. With Ramses in town and Ray as best man, it's a good bet that we'll finally see Showbiz get his comeuppance in this storyline. Though to be fair this was the first strip I've read where I've genuinely disliked him.
Patience. With Ramses in town and Ray as best man, it's a good bet that we'll finally see Showbiz get his comeuppance in this storyline. Though to be fair this was the first strip I've read where I've genuinely disliked him.
hedonismbot
+5 -0
I'm hoping to see Ramses go on the Bach party trip. He could teach a few assholes manners, turn a strippers life around, beat Showbiz into a coma using only a three ounce thong, and educate all of us on pleasing desperate ladies.
I'm hoping to see Ramses go on the Bach party trip. He could teach a few assholes manners, turn a strippers life around, beat Showbiz into a coma using only a three ounce thong, and educate all of us on pleasing desperate ladies.
tekende
+14 -0
Man Bach parties are so great
All listening to classical music
All rockin' a powdered wig
Man Bach parties are so great
All listening to classical music
All rockin' a powdered wig
projectyl
+10 -1
"Man, listen to how nice all his viola notes are."
"These viola notes are so good dude"
"Man, listen to how nice all his viola notes are."
"These viola notes are so good dude"
senseihollywood
+18 -0
trust me though, you ain't wanna see Ramses go all on a Fugue...
trust me though, you ain't wanna see Ramses go all on a Fugue...
king_duncan
+1 -0
Chicks in G-strings playing G-strings
Chicks in G-strings playing G-strings
dangelder
+0 -0
No.
No.
mrklaw
+2 -0
Congratulations
you just made
the oldest string player joke ever!
Congratulations
you just made
the oldest string player joke ever!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Congratulations on your wonderful avatar!
Congratulations on your wonderful avatar!
snidedk
+0 -0
YES! More Earthbound love is always appropriate!
YES! More Earthbound love is always appropriate!
maximus
+1 -0
What about the PDQ Bach joke where the female violinists' G-String breaks so he offers a hair from one of his luxurious wigs as a replacement? He...
(wait for it)
...used box hair for a g-string!
(this tip jar aint fillin' itself, folks)
What about the PDQ Bach joke where the female violinists' G-String breaks so he offers a hair from one of his luxurious wigs as a replacement? He...
(wait for it)
...used box hair for a g-string!
(this tip jar aint fillin' itself, folks)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
PDQ Bach is Good.
i like what that man hast wrought.
PDQ Bach is Good.
i like what that man hast wrought.
chuvak
+0 -0
I'm not sure about that - what about the f hole?
I'm not sure about that - what about the f hole?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
LOTS OF TONGUE AND LIP ACTION.
LOTS OF TONGUE AND LIP ACTION.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
frigg yeah, dude! triple-tongue-ing and all that sexy stuff!
frigg yeah, dude! triple-tongue-ing and all that sexy stuff!
likeiwassaying
+6 -0
I'm starting to really hate Showbiz.
I'm starting to really hate Showbiz.
whoper
+24 -0
Despite all his faults, and they are many indeed, I've always tried to give Showbiz a chance, to believe that he's a fundamentally good dude who just suffers from a severe inability to take things seriously. Maybe it's because he speaks to my inner slacker, to my fear that I might someday end up several G's in the hole to Rockford Fosgate, waving around a car dealership sign on the corner.
Now, though, well fuck him. He's Todd without the charm, and honestly I'm a little surprised to see such a flat (as in unilaterally bad) character in Achewood.
Despite all his faults, and they are many indeed, I've always tried to give Showbiz a chance, to believe that he's a fundamentally good dude who just suffers from a severe inability to take things seriously. Maybe it's because he speaks to my inner slacker, to my fear that I might someday end up several G's in the hole to Rockford Fosgate, waving around a car dealership sign on the corner.
Now, though, well fuck him. He's Todd without the charm, and honestly I'm a little surprised to see such a flat (as in unilaterally bad) character in Achewood.
behemothdiddums
+2 -0
Sounds like a job for Mr Teal...
Sounds like a job for Mr Teal...
johnmatrix
+0 -0
At first, I thought behemothdiddums was referring to Tommy Vercetti, who is also referred to as "Mr. Teal". Not that that wouldn't be a valid solution to Showbiz.
At first, I thought behemothdiddums was referring to Tommy Vercetti, who is also referred to as "Mr. Teal". Not that that wouldn't be a valid solution to Showbiz.
nosearmy
+0 -0
No matter who you're referring to, "Mr. Teal" is a murderous motherfucker. Just think about the thoughts which go through your mind when looking at a teal wall. This is what Mr. Teal feels, all the time .
No matter who you're referring to, "Mr. Teal" is a murderous motherfucker. Just think about the thoughts which go through your mind when looking at a teal wall. This is what Mr. Teal feels, all the time .
pygmalion00
+4 -0
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY CLIMBS MY PRICK? PEOPLE WHO BUY JANKITY ASSED SHOWER CAMS FOR THEIR OWN PERSONAL USE. TAKING THE MONEY OUT OF GOOD, HONEST, HARD-WORKING PORNOGRAPHERS THEY ARE!
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY CLIMBS MY PRICK? PEOPLE WHO BUY JANKITY ASSED SHOWER CAMS FOR THEIR OWN PERSONAL USE. TAKING THE MONEY OUT OF GOOD, HONEST, HARD-WORKING PORNOGRAPHERS THEY ARE!
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
wouldnt having ones prick climbed upon be a positive thing?
wouldnt having ones prick climbed upon be a positive thing?
gormster
+8 -0
He's an accurate depiction of many, many people. There are people in this world who are just slimy, self-obsessed asshats.
He's an accurate depiction of many, many people. There are people in this world who are just slimy, self-obsessed asshats.
chuvak
+1 -0
I am one of those people.
I am one of those people.
fablesandblues
+1 -0
Don't say that. You know it's not true.
You're everything, blurry man I don't know!
Don't say that. You know it's not true.
You're everything, blurry man I don't know!
pogo
+0 -0
I always thought it was a blurry Deborah Harry of Blondie
I always thought it was a blurry Deborah Harry of Blondie
comrade_tom
+4 -0
Debbie Harry had a neckbeard? oh god i've been living a lie!
Debbie Harry had a neckbeard? oh god i've been living a lie!
chuvak
+0 -0
Nah it's some random neckbeard. I will change it soon. Am open to suggestions as to what I should change it to.
Nah it's some random neckbeard. I will change it soon. Am open to suggestions as to what I should change it to.
pogo
+0 -0
You could find a picture of Chuvak (he was the tatooed dude on Voayger, right?)
You could find a picture of Chuvak (he was the tatooed dude on Voayger, right?)
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
youre thinking of chakotay and tuvok. chakotay was the tatted native american dude and tuvok was the klingon of color.
youre thinking of chakotay and tuvok. chakotay was the tatted native american dude and tuvok was the klingon of color.
deusoma
+0 -0
No, man, B'Elanna Torres was the Klingon of colour, and she was a lady. Tuvok was the Vulcan of colour.
No, man, B'Elanna Torres was the Klingon of colour, and she was a lady. Tuvok was the Vulcan of colour.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
im not nerdy enough to be ultra-precise about star trek lore. good lookin' out, dogg.
im not nerdy enough to be ultra-precise about star trek lore. good lookin' out, dogg.
chuvak
+0 -0
Thanks guy.
Thanks guy.
spazdor
+3 -0
No you aren't. Those people are unable, by definition, to consider the possibility that they might be one of those people.
No you aren't. Those people are unable, by definition, to consider the possibility that they might be one of those people.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
This is true.
This is true.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I briefly dated one of those people. I am not proud. He had shoulders kind of like Showbiz's, too. Uggh....
I really want to see Showbiz get his comeuppance.
I briefly dated one of those people. I am not proud. He had shoulders kind of like Showbiz's, too. Uggh....
I really want to see Showbiz get his comeuppance.
maximus
+32 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
falseprophet
+0 -0
The coup de grace is when he trips and faceplants off the Roomba.
The coup de grace is when he trips and faceplants off the Roomba.
chuvak
+0 -0
...while on FIRE.
...while on FIRE.
pogo
+0 -0
As if the arrows and axe aren't enough, he's ON FIRE!
As if the arrows and axe aren't enough, he's ON FIRE!
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
Yes pls
Yes pls
rowboat
+0 -0
Man, what a shame. If this were posted higher on the page or on one of the older strips it'd have, like, 300 chubbies.
Man, what a shame. If this were posted higher on the page or on one of the older strips it'd have, like, 300 chubbies.
sn0wman
+2 -0
Indeed. Showbiz is a dead ringer for my sister, who has stolen the identity and ruined the credit of virtually every member of the family, including her own children, told lies to set me and my parents against one another the day before my aunt's wedding so that I would stay away, simply because my birthday was coming up and she wanted to keep them from spending money on a gift that could instead be given to her, and convinced our mother not to go to a doctor with what turned out to be a broken knee for three weeks, again, because the money the doc would have gotten was in her mind better served by being placed into her pocket.
Rip his jaw off, Ramses.
Indeed. Showbiz is a dead ringer for my sister, who has stolen the identity and ruined the credit of virtually every member of the family, including her own children, told lies to set me and my parents against one another the day before my aunt's wedding so that I would stay away, simply because my birthday was coming up and she wanted to keep them from spending money on a gift that could instead be given to her, and convinced our mother not to go to a doctor with what turned out to be a broken knee for three weeks, again, because the money the doc would have gotten was in her mind better served by being placed into her pocket.
Rip his jaw off, Ramses.
sn0wman
+0 -0
Heh, "aunt's wedding" was supposed to be "aunt's funeral." Now I'm getting my life and Achewood confused.
Heh, "aunt's wedding" was supposed to be "aunt's funeral." Now I'm getting my life and Achewood confused.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Holy fuck. This woman is a) BPD b) Psychotic c) Heroine Addict. God, you poor human being.
Holy fuck. This woman is a) BPD b) Psychotic c) Heroine Addict. God, you poor human being.
gormster
+5 -0
She just can't get enough female protagonist.
She just can't get enough female protagonist.
chuvak
+0 -0
I think this is what psychiatrists call "transference".
I think this is what psychiatrists call "transference".
odei
+0 -0
I want to lame this post because of your sister's disgusting actions.
I want to lame this post because of your sister's disgusting actions.
pogo
+0 -0
Hey, no fair introducing reality. But you have my sympathy.
Hey, no fair introducing reality. But you have my sympathy.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
people like this should only exist in movies (or..Achewood)
not in real life. NOT IN REAL LIFE.
people like this should only exist in movies (or..Achewood)
not in real life. NOT IN REAL LIFE.
applebed
+0 -0
Wow, your sister is genuinely terrible! :(
Wow, your sister is genuinely terrible! :(
cracklewater
+0 -0
No, you're the knobend!
Yar boo sucks!
No, you're the knobend!
Yar boo sucks!
johnmatrix
+1 -0
I'm pretty sure that's the point of his character, how god-awful he is as a person and how Roast Beef deals with it.
Also, I don't think "charming" is really the word to describe Todd, funny as he is.
I'm pretty sure that's the point of his character, how god-awful he is as a person and how Roast Beef deals with it.
Also, I don't think "charming" is really the word to describe Todd, funny as he is.
whoisspain
+2 -0
Todd without the magnificent dedication to illegal stimulants, or washing powder disguised as same?
Todd without the magnificent dedication to illegal stimulants, or washing powder disguised as same?
deus
+0 -1
Dude, are you a scottsman by any chance?
And do you get off on minarchism and having to justify EVERY single THING trough logic?
If you are and if you do, then i must say this html is a tad better then what we are used to in "political crossfire"
Chubby just for being here.
Dude, are you a scottsman by any chance?
And do you get off on minarchism and having to justify EVERY single THING trough logic?
If you are and if you do, then i must say this html is a tad better then what we are used to in "political crossfire"
Chubby just for being here.
whoisspain
+0 -1
I am a Scotsman, but I'm afraid I'm probably about as far from minarchism as you can get. Dunno so much about the logic thing, though.
I am a Scotsman, but I'm afraid I'm probably about as far from minarchism as you can get. Dunno so much about the logic thing, though.
deus
+0 -2
Ah.
Appologies, some pointers came up, including your image.
Me to is very far from it, having some tad.....socialistic...sism.
Its just that, i think liberals(you USians might get a little confused here) are really allright.
Really REALLY allright.
Ah.
Appologies, some pointers came up, including your image.
Me to is very far from it, having some tad.....socialistic...sism.
Its just that, i think liberals(you USians might get a little confused here) are really allright.
Really REALLY allright.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
MINARCHY IN THE UK!
MINARCHY IN THE UK!
whoisspain
+1 -0
Fuck that for a game of first acquisition.
Fuck that for a game of first acquisition.
cromar
+0 -1
I can%u2019t believe where this country is headed!. did you know that the EU is trying to %u2019save the planet%u2019 again because the scottish mafia is running the country. End this madness now, get tough. This is Communism folks%u2026!
-Twat-O-Tron
I can%u2019t believe where this country is headed!. did you know that the EU is trying to %u2019save the planet%u2019 again because the scottish mafia is running the country. End this madness now, get tough. This is Communism folks%u2026!
-Twat-O-Tron
whoisspain
+1 -0
Sir, I fear you have put Richard Littlejohn out of business with your technological device. And who knows what havoc he would wreak if left drifting outwith the secure reserve for the mentally inane that is the Daily Mail .
Sir, I fear you have put Richard Littlejohn out of business with your technological device. And who knows what havoc he would wreak if left drifting outwith the secure reserve for the mentally inane that is the Daily Mail .
aaron_haynes
+8 -0
I wouldn't call any of Achewood's unpleasant characters bad . The fact that they're such horrible people in their own way makes them interesting as well as infuriating. We've all known someone like Showbiz, or Pat, or Todd (probably not Nice Pete, but maybe someone with some latent tendencies). Seeing that infuriating personality captured so perfectly is what makes these guys work.
I wouldn't call any of Achewood's unpleasant characters bad . The fact that they're such horrible people in their own way makes them interesting as well as infuriating. We've all known someone like Showbiz, or Pat, or Todd (probably not Nice Pete, but maybe someone with some latent tendencies). Seeing that infuriating personality captured so perfectly is what makes these guys work.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh, totally. They may be bad people (uh, animals...), but as far as characters go, they're amazing.
Oh, totally. They may be bad people (uh, animals...), but as far as characters go, they're amazing.
deusoma
+0 -0
Exactly. I feel genuine loathing for Showbiz today, where I might just think "Oh, that guy has an evil plan, wonder how that'll turn out" during similar moments in lesser webcomics.
Exactly. I feel genuine loathing for Showbiz today, where I might just think "Oh, that guy has an evil plan, wonder how that'll turn out" during similar moments in lesser webcomics.
whoper
+0 -0
That's a good point; I implied earlier that Showbiz was being cartoonishly bad, but he does evoke an emotional response that I don't get from Hulking And/Or Androgynous Evil Mastermind #114.
Still, I maintain that it's jarring to see Showbiz go from "questionably well-intentioned loser" to "Onstad if you're listening please strike this bastard down now." It doesn't help that he apparently used to be pretty close with Ray - an old chochacho of his can't be that bad, right?
I hope that Showbiz's abrupt negative development isn't just a setup to ease the pathos when Showbiz hits the brick wall that's been coming since this storyline's conception. Onstad is an excellent writer and I know he's capable of a more creative conclusion, but the way the strip seems to be going and especially the way everybody (myself included) is up in arms against Showbiz... doubt enters the realm of possibility.
That's a good point; I implied earlier that Showbiz was being cartoonishly bad, but he does evoke an emotional response that I don't get from Hulking And/Or Androgynous Evil Mastermind #114.
Still, I maintain that it's jarring to see Showbiz go from "questionably well-intentioned loser" to "Onstad if you're listening please strike this bastard down now." It doesn't help that he apparently used to be pretty close with Ray - an old chochacho of his can't be that bad, right?
I hope that Showbiz's abrupt negative development isn't just a setup to ease the pathos when Showbiz hits the brick wall that's been coming since this storyline's conception. Onstad is an excellent writer and I know he's capable of a more creative conclusion, but the way the strip seems to be going and especially the way everybody (myself included) is up in arms against Showbiz... doubt enters the realm of possibility.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I've been friends with maybe one or two complete turds. I look back and shudder. Every now and then in your life people suprise you to a hideous length. Sometimes these people have serious mental illness. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes the difference between these two things is very difficult to make out.
I've been friends with maybe one or two complete turds. I look back and shudder. Every now and then in your life people suprise you to a hideous length. Sometimes these people have serious mental illness. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes the difference between these two things is very difficult to make out.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
I dunno some of showbiz's stirps have been pure gold, the long one where he continually annoys beef whilst suggesting that they amongst other things create a british langauge website and a school where people can learn to rob banks was top quality achewood.
I dunno some of showbiz's stirps have been pure gold, the long one where he continually annoys beef whilst suggesting that they amongst other things create a british langauge website and a school where people can learn to rob banks was top quality achewood.
zedpower
+2 -0
It's as if Roast Beef and Showbiz grew up in the same house. And one day the one stood up and went out the back door, while the other went out the front.
...wait a minute...
It's as if Roast Beef and Showbiz grew up in the same house. And one day the one stood up and went out the back door, while the other went out the front.
...wait a minute...
hedonismbot
+8 -1
I have a large collection of cinematic films in which the exact thing you explained happens. Except instead of each going 'out' the door, they go in, and instead of cats, they are penises, very large and engorged with hot humours.
I have a large collection of cinematic films in which the exact thing you explained happens. Except instead of each going 'out' the door, they go in, and instead of cats, they are penises, very large and engorged with hot humours.
harletron
+1 -0
chubbied for "engorged with hot humours" so elizabethan.
"Mabel come into the drawing room post haste, for I find myself engorged with hot humours."
chubbied for "engorged with hot humours" so elizabethan.
"Mabel come into the drawing room post haste, for I find myself engorged with hot humours."
dudesstew
+1 -0
This is a really good way to describe Showbiz, "Todd without the charm.".
Honestly I'd say he's a combination of bothe Pat and Todd's worst traits. He's crude and disgusting but also coniving , as shown here, and a gigantic prick.
Hell at least Pat showed some genuine concern for Ray after the incident with that dog.
This is a really good way to describe Showbiz, "Todd without the charm.".
Honestly I'd say he's a combination of bothe Pat and Todd's worst traits. He's crude and disgusting but also coniving , as shown here, and a gigantic prick.
Hell at least Pat showed some genuine concern for Ray after the incident with that dog.
comrade_tom
+2 -0
Todd doesn't have charm, he's just a crappy little bullshit man.
Todd doesn't have charm, he's just a crappy little bullshit man.
jonmw
+2 -0
Todd is bearable because he is a squirrel. He is able to get by on very little - as far as I can remember, his biggest scam to date was to get ten bucks out of Teodor.
Todd is bearable because he is a squirrel. He is able to get by on very little - as far as I can remember, his biggest scam to date was to get ten bucks out of Teodor.
molesticide
+0 -0
by pretending to be a shit in a wadded up hoody. kind of not really a victory there.
by pretending to be a shit in a wadded up hoody. kind of not really a victory there.
randyleepublic
+1 -0
*Sigh* *How soon they forget*
Dude! Todd is the guy who made sure that Teodor would "launch" him for Funniest Home Videos when he knew he was going to die because he forgot to fatten up for the winter, (when he forgot because of obsessive watching of the same show). Todd is a true philosopher and artist.
Don't you ever forget that!
*Sigh* *How soon they forget*
Dude! Todd is the guy who made sure that Teodor would "launch" him for Funniest Home Videos when he knew he was going to die because he forgot to fatten up for the winter, (when he forgot because of obsessive watching of the same show). Todd is a true philosopher and artist.
Don't you ever forget that!
zadig
+1 -0
Not to mention Todd's commitment to bringing anatomic car and phone accessories to the world. Thanks to visionaries like Todd, we can imagine that our cars can nail each other.
Not to mention Todd's commitment to bringing anatomic car and phone accessories to the world. Thanks to visionaries like Todd, we can imagine that our cars can nail each other.
sleepchillin
+0 -0
in fact, he is terrible.
in fact, he is terrible.
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
He is still better because he is not especially selfish and Showbiz is incredibly selfish. Todd is a junkie. Showbiz is that junkie who drove his mother to suicide and doesn't care, constantly taking advantage of her inability to give up on him, taking all her money and occasionally freaking out and beating her. He feels no remorse even when he's not high.
He is still better because he is not especially selfish and Showbiz is incredibly selfish. Todd is a junkie. Showbiz is that junkie who drove his mother to suicide and doesn't care, constantly taking advantage of her inability to give up on him, taking all her money and occasionally freaking out and beating her. He feels no remorse even when he's not high.
fuckyoufriday
+2 -0
Showbiz has always been a shamelessly selfish character. His misogyny towards Molly (and all women) and thanklessness towards Beef are well-established. I would think on some level he's threatened by Molly, not just financially, but familially (let's all collectively will that to be a word. thanks.). And he hasn't even caught on to the fact that he's not the best man yet! I could see this being the final straw for Beef, a la Gramma K's anti-AIBO speciesism/ organismism (coinage number two!)
Showbiz has always been a shamelessly selfish character. His misogyny towards Molly (and all women) and thanklessness towards Beef are well-established. I would think on some level he's threatened by Molly, not just financially, but familially (let's all collectively will that to be a word. thanks.). And he hasn't even caught on to the fact that he's not the best man yet! I could see this being the final straw for Beef, a la Gramma K's anti-AIBO speciesism/ organismism (coinage number two!)
rearden82
+0 -0
I like the fact that he is unilaterally bad. "The character who is an asshole on the surface but deep down has a heart of gold" is a really worn-out cliche.
Some people are just simply sociopathic assholes who lack any redeeming qualities and are incapable of caring about other people. I like how Showbiz is portrayed this way instead of being romanticized; it's much more true to life.
I like the fact that he is unilaterally bad. "The character who is an asshole on the surface but deep down has a heart of gold" is a really worn-out cliche.
Some people are just simply sociopathic assholes who lack any redeeming qualities and are incapable of caring about other people. I like how Showbiz is portrayed this way instead of being romanticized; it's much more true to life.
whoper
+0 -0
You raise a valid point, but at the same time you can be a self-absorbed asshole without being that way all the time. The only way I can think of Showbiz right now, and probably the only way it's possible to think of him the way the strip is written, is as an utterly vile waste of space--and that sense of irredeemability is something I'm not used to getting from anyone in Achewood, not even the side characters.
Oh well. At least it'll be satisfying to see Showbiz get wrecked.
You raise a valid point, but at the same time you can be a self-absorbed asshole without being that way all the time. The only way I can think of Showbiz right now, and probably the only way it's possible to think of him the way the strip is written, is as an utterly vile waste of space--and that sense of irredeemability is something I'm not used to getting from anyone in Achewood, not even the side characters.
Oh well. At least it'll be satisfying to see Showbiz get wrecked.
zadig
+2 -0
Speaking as someone who has a cousin that is a carbon copy of Showbiz, I can say that Showbiz is not meaningful in and of himself. Showbiz becomes an interesting character in how his family is forced to deal with him. Yes, in a sense he is a waste of space, but his relatives are forced to put up with him because he is family. Yes, they can be cut off, but with family this is always done long after you've given up hope of their redeemability, and practically decades after most other people would have kicked him to the curb.
Speaking as someone who has a cousin that is a carbon copy of Showbiz, I can say that Showbiz is not meaningful in and of himself. Showbiz becomes an interesting character in how his family is forced to deal with him. Yes, in a sense he is a waste of space, but his relatives are forced to put up with him because he is family. Yes, they can be cut off, but with family this is always done long after you've given up hope of their redeemability, and practically decades after most other people would have kicked him to the curb.
davey-boy
+2 -0
I agree, Showbiz is a foil to Roast Beef's spineless charitable nature. Roast Beef has long abandoned the idea that he can do anything to help him, and does not buy the whole idea that he is a victim of his vices anymore. He is another mark towards Roast Beef's slow progression towards self-acualization.
I agree, Showbiz is a foil to Roast Beef's spineless charitable nature. Roast Beef has long abandoned the idea that he can do anything to help him, and does not buy the whole idea that he is a victim of his vices anymore. He is another mark towards Roast Beef's slow progression towards self-acualization.
darleen
+0 -0
Seriously, davey-boy, I've got a big, ol' crush on your avatar. That pic is super dreamy. :)
Erm, yeah, that's all... carry on.
Seriously, davey-boy, I've got a big, ol' crush on your avatar. That pic is super dreamy. :)
Erm, yeah, that's all... carry on.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, _cheesekayke, loneal, Darleen)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, _cheesekayke, loneal, Darleen)
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
pogo
+0 -0
Your mom.
Your mom.
gladi8orrex
+281 -0
darleen, lol. bet she's a whale
darleen, lol. bet she's a whale
davey-boy
+0 -0
Carte Blanche it is. I am flattered all the same.
Carte Blanche it is. I am flattered all the same.
darleen
+0 -0
Nope.
Sorry.
Exercise for an hour every day and I don't drive,I walk everywhere.
So, up yours sunshine. :D
Nope.
Sorry.
Exercise for an hour every day and I don't drive,I walk everywhere.
So, up yours sunshine. :D
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by _cheesekayke, loneal, Darleen, AaronGStock)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by _cheesekayke, loneal, Darleen, AaronGStock)
catgrl131
+1 -0
You're an idiot, she's pretty!
You're an idiot, she's pretty!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'd hit it
I'd hit it
pogo
+0 -0
Ignore him, you're cute and cheerful. (And dear God I hope you're not underage!)
Ignore him, you're cute and cheerful. (And dear God I hope you're not underage!)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If 24 is underage boy, hey, I don't wanna be lawful.
If 24 is underage boy, hey, I don't wanna be lawful.
pogo
+0 -0
You can make something out in that pixelated blur?
You can make something out in that pixelated blur?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Yeesh, you are right. I have inadvertantly turned into one of those Myspace queens who turn up the brightness and change the contrast enough to hide their skin.
Yeesh, you are right. I have inadvertantly turned into one of those Myspace queens who turn up the brightness and change the contrast enough to hide their skin.
harletron
+0 -0
I don't like showbiz. But I don't hate him. He represents that trailer park sensibility and childish sense of humor present in the lower income brackets to a tee. He's the kind of guy that when you see him looking at you from across the street or at the gas station, you know he's thinking "faggot."
character send ups are like, artistically important.
I don't like showbiz. But I don't hate him. He represents that trailer park sensibility and childish sense of humor present in the lower income brackets to a tee. He's the kind of guy that when you see him looking at you from across the street or at the gas station, you know he's thinking "faggot."
character send ups are like, artistically important.
odei
+0 -0
I don't think his type of douchebaggery is limited to those with lower incomes. I've known plenty of well-off pricks.
I don't think his type of douchebaggery is limited to those with lower incomes. I've known plenty of well-off pricks.
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
Hey! You're kind of classist! Cut it out please!
Hey! You're kind of classist! Cut it out please!
tombsgrave
+0 -0
Welcome to my world.
Welcome to my world.
lux
+0 -0
A man with John Darnielle as his avatar? I feel a swoon coming on.
A man with John Darnielle as his avatar? I feel a swoon coming on.
sleepchillin
+0 -0
i briefly considered the possibility that it might BE john darnielle, but have long since given up dreaming.
i briefly considered the possibility that it might BE john darnielle, but have long since given up dreaming.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Oh my god. My fragile heart might just explode at the thought of these two things combining.
Oh my god. My fragile heart might just explode at the thought of these two things combining.
bixschmix
+0 -0
*SPLUT*
*SPLUT*
woodenteeth
+0 -0
... these knives?
... these knives?
lux
+0 -0
Hell, he changed his avatar and now I look like a loony.
Hell, he changed his avatar and now I look like a loony.
irondave
+0 -0
You still look okay to me, lux.
(I am filling in for pogo today as the middle-aged guy in charge of making young Assetbar ladies feel uncomfortable.)
You still look okay to me, lux.
(I am filling in for pogo today as the middle-aged guy in charge of making young Assetbar ladies feel uncomfortable.)
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks, got your back, Ironman.
Thanks, got your back, Ironman.
lux
+0 -0
I'm touched, Dave. It's a... pleasure to meet you.
(I am fulfilling the role of the aggressively flirtatious internet woman who may or may not turn out to be a man.)
I'm touched, Dave. It's a... pleasure to meet you.
(I am fulfilling the role of the aggressively flirtatious internet woman who may or may not turn out to be a man.)
irondave
+0 -0
Hnyaaah!
Hnyaaah!
ngazin
+2 -0
Wow, you hardly ever see characters act as loathsome as this in Achewood. Even Nice Pete is more likeable.
Wow, you hardly ever see characters act as loathsome as this in Achewood. Even Nice Pete is more likeable.
keir
+2 -0
I know, I had a lot of sympathy for Showbiz up until now given his and Beef's upbringing, but this is hell of reprehensible.
I know, I had a lot of sympathy for Showbiz up until now given his and Beef's upbringing, but this is hell of reprehensible.
c_dizzle
+4 -0
Nice Pete has values. Even if they are southern; they're VALUES. He thinks outside of his own self-obsessed sphere.
Showbiz is like that 11 year old kid who kept pantsing you in jr high because it made him feel powerful. Not even to hurt you; JUST cause he thought it made him better.
Nice Pete has values. Even if they are southern; they're VALUES. He thinks outside of his own self-obsessed sphere.
Showbiz is like that 11 year old kid who kept pantsing you in jr high because it made him feel powerful. Not even to hurt you; JUST cause he thought it made him better.
slackojones
+0 -0
"He's from The South" -Eric Roberts in "The Pope of Greenwich Village".
"He's from The South" -Eric Roberts in "The Pope of Greenwich Village".
morypcaina
+0 -0
this is your "nice avatar" post
hope you like it
this is your "nice avatar" post
hope you like it
hamscout
+3 -0
I think there is some sort of "asshole quotient" in which the sheer dickitude of your standard jag is increased exponentially as he interacts with other jags who are equal or lesser levels of 'fuckwit'.
They come together and produce a quantity of ass-bastard fuckitude that is greater than the sum of their individual shit brains.
I could probably write a thesis on this, but the lab work would kill me.
I think there is some sort of "asshole quotient" in which the sheer dickitude of your standard jag is increased exponentially as he interacts with other jags who are equal or lesser levels of 'fuckwit'.
They come together and produce a quantity of ass-bastard fuckitude that is greater than the sum of their individual shit brains.
I could probably write a thesis on this, but the lab work would kill me.
kickstart
+2 -0
Not to mention the paperwork required in getting a grant for Tequiza
Not to mention the paperwork required in getting a grant for Tequiza
sleepchillin
+0 -0
i've never tried it, but i'm very curious about whether tequiza makes one more or less afraid of the police than, say, cuervo. we should run some tests.
i've never tried it, but i'm very curious about whether tequiza makes one more or less afraid of the police than, say, cuervo. we should run some tests.
irondave
+0 -0
Tequiza is just boring beer with some agave flavoring. It is for people with poor beverage judgment. It does not really have any of the magical powers of tequila.
Tequiza is just boring beer with some agave flavoring. It is for people with poor beverage judgment. It does not really have any of the magical powers of tequila.
morypcaina
+0 -0
we must give tequiza and cuervo (and a control of water) to closeted lesbian cops and to straight female cops
with clits
we must give tequiza and cuervo (and a control of water) to closeted lesbian cops and to straight female cops
with clits
pogo
+0 -0
LOVE 'EM!
LOVE 'EM!
fireking
+1 -1
By the end of this storyline it will be revealed that Showbiz is not actually Roast Beef's brother.
Hopefully. I mean, hell! How can characters on opposite ends of the awesomeness spectrum possibly be related?
I think we all know who's on which end.
By the end of this storyline it will be revealed that Showbiz is not actually Roast Beef's brother.
Hopefully. I mean, hell! How can characters on opposite ends of the awesomeness spectrum possibly be related?
I think we all know who's on which end.
deusoma
+0 -0
They're supposed to be twins. That would be one hell of a fuck-up at the hospital.
They're supposed to be twins. That would be one hell of a fuck-up at the hospital.
kickstart
+0 -0
It's happened before:
[IMGS OFF]
It's happened before:
[IMGS OFF]
kickstart
+0 -0
[darn] my arrogant ways:
[IMGS OFF]
[darn] my arrogant ways:
[IMGS OFF]
pogo
+0 -0
Ohmygod these Hollywood whores will do anything for money!
Ohmygod these Hollywood whores will do anything for money!
spinynorman
+1 -0
When I hear "whore" my mind always goes straight to Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler.
When I hear "whore" my mind always goes straight to Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler.
morypcaina
+6 -0
Where do your hands go?
Where do your hands go?
woodjay
+42 -0
Showbiz does not strike me as the type to terminate a conversation just because he is shitting.
Showbiz does not strike me as the type to terminate a conversation just because he is shitting.
hateandwar
+1 -0
I like that his friend is going to go make pickles too, and Showbiz is just enthused by their shared biological schedule.
I like that his friend is going to go make pickles too, and Showbiz is just enthused by their shared biological schedule.
fuckyoufriday
+6 -0
It's the synchronized menstruation of the male grifter scene.
It's the synchronized menstruation of the male grifter scene.
jonmw
+0 -0
There was no indication that he was going to terminate said conversation?
Perhaps he's going to hold a contest over who can make the loudest plop.
There was no indication that he was going to terminate said conversation?
Perhaps he's going to hold a contest over who can make the loudest plop.
spicyponyhead
+10 -0
Do you mean....Battleshits?
Do you mean....Battleshits?
gormster
+0 -0
oh my god
perfect
now i'm going to use battleship metaphors every time i take a dump. 'whoo boy this one's a real aircraft carrier'
oh my god
perfect
now i'm going to use battleship metaphors every time i take a dump. 'whoo boy this one's a real aircraft carrier'
snuffysmith
+1 -0
Not so sure plop plops is a reference to shitting?
Not so sure plop plops is a reference to shitting?
mattfish
+0 -0
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by smarve, Anderian, SpinyNorman, echidnaboy, Tolth)
A comment left by mattfish was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by smarve, Anderian, SpinyNorman, echidnaboy, Tolth)
mattfish
+0 -0
Hnaah.
Hnaah.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Deusoma, smarve, cmjhogan, GMM, robbingdog, Lumus, rustmouth, Tragic_Johnson, Tolth)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by expellens, Deusoma, smarve, cmjhogan, GMM, robbingdog, Lumus, rustmouth, Tragic_Johnson, Tolth)
tekende
+9 -0
"lol WHAT?! Showbiz is ?????* after all it turns out, so he puts shower-cam in the shower and leaves it on Beef's computer? And he sees? lol, Beef's muscles and Showbiz's balls in soap to finish up, lol
*Mr. Truant originally suggested "hidden villain" as a translation but later declined to offer a translation at all. --Ed.
"lol WHAT?! Showbiz is ?????* after all it turns out, so he puts shower-cam in the shower and leaves it on Beef's computer? And he sees? lol, Beef's muscles and Showbiz's balls in soap to finish up, lol
*Mr. Truant originally suggested "hidden villain" as a translation but later declined to offer a translation at all. --Ed.
nabeel84
+1 -0
I believe that says "showbiz is hidden evil-man afterall."
I believe that says "showbiz is hidden evil-man afterall."
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
perhaps "vile?"
perhaps "vile?"
hoboninja
+0 -0
I get that reference. It's a pretty good reference.
I get that reference. It's a pretty good reference.
edwell
+0 -0
CHUBBIED.
Chubbied like the Minotaur's father chubbying that cow decoy.
CHUBBIED.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I like "Chuppies".
I like "Chuppies".
_______________
+0 -0
Comment left by _______________ ignored.
Comment left by _______________ ignored.
maximus
+0 -0
Well, if I were Vicki Lawrence I'd be cranky too, I guess
Well, if I were Vicki Lawrence I'd be cranky too, I guess
tekende
+0 -0
All right! I was wondering if I'd get to click "Ignore User" again today!
All right! I was wondering if I'd get to click "Ignore User" again today!
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
davey-boy
+2 -0
Come on, buddy. I like you and all, butt these self-destructive comments of yours makes me feel like I am perpetually the dude beyond the camera, trying to talk down Budd Dwyer, you all hand in the manilla envelope, me all yelling 'Budd! Don't do this! Budd! Budd! BUDD!', and you chomping down on the revolver as a group of us approaches to wrestle it away from you, camera panning down to past your mutilated head to the revolver resting on your chest, repeat.
Come on, buddy. I like you and all, butt these self-destructive comments of yours makes me feel like I am perpetually the dude beyond the camera, trying to talk down Budd Dwyer, you all hand in the manilla envelope, me all yelling 'Budd! Don't do this! Budd! Budd! BUDD!', and you chomping down on the revolver as a group of us approaches to wrestle it away from you, camera panning down to past your mutilated head to the revolver resting on your chest, repeat.
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
odei
+0 -0
I don't just find this comment lame, I find you lame! Just so we're clear.
I don't just find this comment lame, I find you lame! Just so we're clear.
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I would agree with you on this post if you weren't always a troll.
gladi8orrex is cool (aside from the "how do you stop 10 black men from raping a woman" jokes) and shouldn't be lamed as much
I would agree with you on this post if you weren't always a troll.
gladi8orrex is cool (aside from the "how do you stop 10 black men from raping a woman" jokes) and shouldn't be lamed as much
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Just because I just came up with it, and I'm awful, I'm substituting my answer to his joke here.
"You don't, she had it coming."
Just because I just came up with it, and I'm awful, I'm substituting my answer to his joke here.
"You don't, she had it coming."
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
Nice
Nice
overmedicated
+0 -0
/b/ is closing down doggs, he's got nowhere else to go.
/b/ is closing down doggs, he's got nowhere else to go.
gormster
+0 -0
What? No! /b/ was the internet's microfilter - it got rid of all the polutants!
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO WIKIPEDIA
What? No! /b/ was the internet's microfilter - it got rid of all the polutants!
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO WIKIPEDIA
hedonismbot
+0 -0
www.encyclopediadramatica.com
www.encyclopediadramatica.com
robbingdog
+3 -0
Showbiz is MAD into washin' himself.
Showbiz is MAD into washin' himself.
krockhool
+1 -0
He makes the self love in a way that is foamy. If only he could so easily bring himself to love his brotherly cats. If his litter included the world, he would not be garbage.
He makes the self love in a way that is foamy. If only he could so easily bring himself to love his brotherly cats. If his litter included the world, he would not be garbage.
tombsgrave
+5 -0
There comes a time in every man (cat)'s life that he must commission the Murder-Act on someone with his own bare hands.
Roast Beef, you must destroy Showbiz.
There comes a time in every man (cat)'s life that he must commission the Murder-Act on someone with his own bare hands.
Roast Beef, you must destroy Showbiz.
history
+0 -0
What in the Achewood world makes you think there will be a happy ending (i.e. Showbiz getting what he deserves, nothing getting screwed up at the wedding, etc)to all of this? There will be no winners in this entire wedding situation.
What in the Achewood world makes you think there will be a happy ending (i.e. Showbiz getting what he deserves, nothing getting screwed up at the wedding, etc)to all of this? There will be no winners in this entire wedding situation.
overmedicated
+0 -0
Remember Gramma K?
It'll be like that, only with then entire Achewood cast just whalin' on Showbiz.
I'd like to think that Vlad will bury the body in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Remember Gramma K?
It'll be like that, only with then entire Achewood cast just whalin' on Showbiz.
I'd like to think that Vlad will bury the body in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
I will be sad if Showbiz is still alive after the wedding arc is over
I will be sad if Showbiz is still alive after the wedding arc is over
zadig
+0 -0
There are definitely happy endings in Achewood. Phillipe at the transfer station? The Great Outdoor Fight? At the end of this, I think there will be a clear winner, and Nice Pete will put the other player in his van.
There are definitely happy endings in Achewood. Phillipe at the transfer station? The Great Outdoor Fight? At the end of this, I think there will be a clear winner, and Nice Pete will put the other player in his van.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
That's it! I think you've got it--Showbiz is going to make the ominous acquaintance of one Nice Pete.
That's it! I think you've got it--Showbiz is going to make the ominous acquaintance of one Nice Pete.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I thought Nice Pete was unsure of whethor or not he would be welcome to this wedding, due to his low ways.
I thought Nice Pete was unsure of whethor or not he would be welcome to this wedding, due to his low ways.
gormster
+0 -0
Well how many times has Nice Pete been in prison? There's every chance he'll run into Showbiz.
Well how many times has Nice Pete been in prison? There's every chance he'll run into Showbiz.
snoutbuster
+6 -0
Showbiz is a sonofabitch. With any luck, Pat will wander in, slip on a roller skate, and accidentally shoot Showbiz dead.
Showbiz is a sonofabitch. With any luck, Pat will wander in, slip on a roller skate, and accidentally shoot Showbiz dead.
applebed
+2 -0
He is, truly, an ass. But there is no way that Roast Beef is going to put his thing into a stripper.
(In the making of this post, I got confused between Typhoid Mary and Mary Toft. )
He is, truly, an ass. But there is no way that Roast Beef is going to put his thing into a stripper.
(In the making of this post, I got confused between Typhoid Mary and Mary Toft. )
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
No, there's no way that Ray will LET Roast Beef put his thing in a stripper.
No, there's no way that Ray will LET Roast Beef put his thing in a stripper.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
I've a sneaking suspicion that Ramses will regulate this particular crotch-phesant.
I've a sneaking suspicion that Ramses will regulate this particular crotch-phesant.
balvo
+6 -0
I agree. For his wedding gift, Ramses should just beat Showbiz to death.
I agree. For his wedding gift, Ramses should just beat Showbiz to death.
aarongstock
+1 -0
I have my doubts that Ramses would take care of other people's problems.
I have my doubts that Ramses would take care of other people's problems.
jonmw
+0 -0
When a man like Showbiz makes trouble like this, it BECOMES Ramses' problem.
Well, maybe.
When a man like Showbiz makes trouble like this, it BECOMES Ramses' problem.
Well, maybe.
kamet
+0 -0
Fuck the dough hook.
Fuck the dough hook.
orvel
+1 -0
I am resisting the urge to photoshop this.
I am resisting the urge to photoshop this.
margargaret
+0 -0
Thank you.
Thank you.
jonmw
+0 -0
I sense the talent welling up from deep inside you. Take up your photoshop and strike me down!
I sense the talent welling up from deep inside you. Take up your photoshop and strike me down!
chuvak
+0 -0
I vote yes.
I vote yes.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Ooh la LA!
[IMGS OFF]
Ooh la LA!
[IMGS OFF]
pogo
+1 -0
Nice work, too bad it's back in this thread.
Nice work, too bad it's back in this thread.
c_dizzle
+0 -0
Exactly what he'll make Showbiz do.
Exactly what he'll make Showbiz do.
maximus
+0 -0
I foresee the ending of Braveheart reenacted with the aforementioned dough hook.
FORE!
I foresee the ending of Braveheart reenacted with the aforementioned dough hook.
FORE!
tucky
+0 -0
That would be a hell of a toast.
That would be a hell of a toast.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
showbiz is nothing if not a romantic.
showbiz is nothing if not a romantic.
falseprophet
+6 -0
And he sure ain't no romantic ...
And he sure ain't no romantic ...
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I set 'em up, you knock 'em down!
Showbiz is also old-fashioned. A shower cam? How quaint.
I set 'em up, you knock 'em down!
Showbiz is also old-fashioned. A shower cam? How quaint.
dumase
+6 -0
A cat masturbating in the shower.
You've been reading Achewood. Quality, always.
A cat masturbating in the shower.
You've been reading Achewood. Quality, always.
gmm
+0 -0
Reminds me of those old-timey alt texts: "I think it is hilarious that the cat saw the other cat masturbating in the shower".
Reminds me of those old-timey alt texts: "I think it is hilarious that the cat saw the other cat masturbating in the shower".
chuvak
+0 -0
Neither of the cats have a very high opinion of the shower.
Neither of the cats have a very high opinion of the shower.
coldfrog
+2 -0
THERE IS ALWAYS A PRICE FOR READING ACHEWOOD
Today, you have paid your monthly fee.
THERE IS ALWAYS A PRICE FOR READING ACHEWOOD
Today, you have paid your monthly fee.
colorlessness
+0 -0
That single panel of Showbiz masturbating, his eyes scrunched as tightly as his hair in ecstasy ... this is why I keep having no choice but to give this arc 5's.
That single panel of Showbiz masturbating, his eyes scrunched as tightly as his hair in ecstasy ... this is why I keep having no choice but to give this arc 5's.
kickstart
+1 -0
he's turning Japanese, he's really turning Japanese. I really think so.
he's turning Japanese, he's really turning Japanese. I really think so.
whoisspain
+2 -0
Oh my, I think I just got the Vapors.
Oh my, I think I just got the Vapors.
bondijames
+0 -0
I haven't seen Beef this angry since he saw that Martha Stewart Weddings magazine!
I haven't seen Beef this angry since he saw that Martha Stewart Weddings magazine!
mlwhy
+0 -1
What's that with Showbiz in the shower? Is that supposed to be his dong?
What's that with Showbiz in the shower? Is that supposed to be his dong?
autrepoupee
+3 -0
his leg is stretched up, for maxisturbation.
his leg is stretched up, for maxisturbation.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
UGH! No.
I think that's the biggest sucker punch Onstad's given us.
UGH! No.
I think that's the biggest sucker punch Onstad's given us.
tellumo
+0 -0
Oh, man . This Cannot be Forgiven. Really, Beef, I don't see why you need to wait until the DJ plays Fools Rush In to beat him with a folding chair. Just get it done with now and save everyone the trouble. You can tip the DJ five dollars before the ceremony starts if it makes you feel better.
Oh, man . This Cannot be Forgiven. Really, Beef, I don't see why you need to wait until the DJ plays Fools Rush In to beat him with a folding chair. Just get it done with now and save everyone the trouble. You can tip the DJ five dollars before the ceremony starts if it makes you feel better.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
A lifetime of repressed rage like this one deserves its epic payoff, right at the altar.
A lifetime of repressed rage like this one deserves its epic payoff, right at the altar.
tellumo
+1 -0
Hmm. You have a point. Either way, I think Ramses would approve. Well, as close to "approve" as he's capable of getting. He'd just look at you with the kind of silence that's the nearest approximation of approval that a man like him can create--a man who sees a hundred things a day that need some sense beat into them, and none that are worth the effort.
Hmm. You have a point. Either way, I think Ramses would approve. Well, as close to "approve" as he's capable of getting. He'd just look at you with the kind of silence that's the nearest approximation of approval that a man like him can create--a man who sees a hundred things a day that need some sense beat into them, and none that are worth the effort.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
It feels like we're gradually building up to the beatdown Showbiz has been asking for all his life.
It feels like we're gradually building up to the beatdown Showbiz has been asking for all his life.
juanclaudius
+1 -0
shit guys im drunk but i basically feel like this is the best arc in a long while this shit is intense rad all "hey whats up lets take the best aspects of past achewoods and all take em into THE FUTURE
as for this particular strip second to last panel totally makes it. i didnt really consider it ever before, but it totally makes sense for showbiz to straight wail on his junk
shit guys im drunk but i basically feel like this is the best arc in a long while this shit is intense rad all "hey whats up lets take the best aspects of past achewoods and all take em into THE FUTURE
as for this particular strip second to last panel totally makes it. i didnt really consider it ever before, but it totally makes sense for showbiz to straight wail on his junk
goldendeath
+0 -0
jandek reads achewood? i knew it!
jandek reads achewood? i knew it!
sarakan
+2 -0
Basically, todays Achewood strip leads nicely into today's Overcompensating strip . Because Showbiz's punk ass is most assuredly going down and he sure as hell can't afford no $7 a day for no fancy-pants coffin-pillows and no chain-link fence.
Basically, todays Achewood strip leads nicely into today's Overcompensating strip . Because Showbiz's punk ass is most assuredly going down and he sure as hell can't afford no $7 a day for no fancy-pants coffin-pillows and no chain-link fence.
solobuttons
+0 -0
Showbiz is doing some furious scrubbin' there. He is so into it.
Showbiz is doing some furious scrubbin' there. He is so into it.
sirfrederick
+11 -0
Showbiz assumes that, if he causes his brother to be left at the altar and destroys his life, his brother will give him money.
Showbiz is not very smart.
Showbiz assumes that, if he causes his brother to be left at the altar and destroys his life, his brother will give him money.
Showbiz is not very smart.
gmm
+1 -0
This had also occurred to me, but I couldn't put it quite so eloquently. Also: Nice 'tache.
This had also occurred to me, but I couldn't put it quite so eloquently. Also: Nice 'tache.
sirfrederick
+6 -0
Thank you! A good moustache is the first step in any serious venture.
Thank you! A good moustache is the first step in any serious venture.
hamscout
+0 -1
moustache rides are a gay and satisfying venture! pip pip!
moustache rides are a gay and satisfying venture! pip pip!
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Showbiz's plan might actually work, because his brother is from Circumstances. This arc isn't leading up to a fight between Showbiz and Beef so much as an epic showdown between Beef's self-loathing and Beef's self-esteem.
Showbiz's plan might actually work, because his brother is from Circumstances. This arc isn't leading up to a fight between Showbiz and Beef so much as an epic showdown between Beef's self-loathing and Beef's self-esteem.
tucky
+3 -0
I think showbiz and molly could stand in for beef's self-loathing and beef's self-esteem, respectively.
I think showbiz and molly could stand in for beef's self-loathing and beef's self-esteem, respectively.
ummagumma
+1 -0
Until today, Showbiz seemed to be a typical lazy, mooching jerk. This comic made it pretty clear that he's a full-blown sociopath.
I don't think it's really about the money; he surely picks up and loses various shady sources of income all the time.
Instead, I think his real motivation is that he just doesn't want to see Beef live a better life than he does. As long as Beef is lonely and depressed, Showbiz can feel better by comparison. He's basically thinking "If I'm stuck being single and miserable, then dammit I'm gonna make sure everyone else around me is, too!"
Until today, Showbiz seemed to be a typical lazy, mooching jerk. This comic made it pretty clear that he's a full-blown sociopath.
I don't think it's really about the money; he surely picks up and loses various shady sources of income all the time.
Instead, I think his real motivation is that he just doesn't want to see Beef live a better life than he does. As long as Beef is lonely and depressed, Showbiz can feel better by comparison. He's basically thinking "If I'm stuck being single and miserable, then dammit I'm gonna make sure everyone else around me is, too!"
pogo
+0 -0
Interesting motivation, and Beef used to be so depressed, Showbiz felt superior. Now the tables are turned
Interesting motivation, and Beef used to be so depressed, Showbiz felt superior. Now the tables are turned
fireking
+1 -0
Achewood Constants:
- Philippe is five.
- Showbiz is a dick.
- Molly's wedding dress is a snake eating her head whole.
Achewood Constants:
- Philippe is five.
- Showbiz is a dick.
- Molly's wedding dress is a snake eating her head whole.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Philippe is mia :'(
Philippe is mia :'(
johnmatrix
+0 -1
And we didn't get a police blotter starring his mom. Poo gas.
And we didn't get a police blotter starring his mom. Poo gas.
kb
+0 -0
wow we all knew Showbiz was a turd, but a "instead-of-giving-you-your-wedding-ring-I-give-you-pictures-of-you-doin'-a-stripper-in-mexico-" turd, I didn't think he'd go that low
wow we all knew Showbiz was a turd, but a "instead-of-giving-you-your-wedding-ring-I-give-you-pictures-of-you-doin'-a-stripper-in-mexico-" turd, I didn't think he'd go that low
gumfish
+0 -0
Fuck you, Showbiz. Fuck you!
Fuck you, Showbiz. Fuck you!
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Screw you, Showbiz, FUCK YOU!
I used to think that Showbiz was just kind of a lovable dick, but trying to ruin his brother's wedding, trying to get his brother to doink a Tijuana stripper, AND trying to get video of his brother's fiancee is just straight up fucking COLD !
I'm hoping Ray like, trips and rips off Showbiz's lower jaw, and then Pat slips on a roller skate and shoots both of them, and then Ray goes to heaven and Showbiz goes to hell.
Screw you, Showbiz, FUCK YOU!
I used to think that Showbiz was just kind of a lovable dick, but trying to ruin his brother's wedding, trying to get his brother to doink a Tijuana stripper, AND trying to get video of his brother's fiancee is just straight up fucking COLD !
I'm hoping Ray like, trips and rips off Showbiz's lower jaw, and then Pat slips on a roller skate and shoots both of them, and then Ray goes to heaven and Showbiz goes to hell.
valrus
+1 -0
So apt. Showbiz is basically a hemorrhoid.
So apt. Showbiz is basically a hemorrhoid.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
I like how Beef seems to be more pissed than disturbed. But given the way Showbiz is, this probably isn't the first time something like this has happened.
I like how Beef seems to be more pissed than disturbed. But given the way Showbiz is, this probably isn't the first time something like this has happened.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Showbiz is the last cat I'd expect to be into HomeScript .
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
Showbiz is the last cat I'd expect to be into HomeScript .
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+3 -0
The Rules
You must use all of, but are not limited to, the above images.
Your entry can be a still image or an animation.
edwell, doc_rostov, hamscout - you have your materials.
The title of Minister of Hastily Photoshopped Buggery is at stake.
You will have sixty minutes for this challenge. Please open your image editing programs when ready, reply to this post with the word 'start' and post your image when finished.
spinynorman, Tell 'em what they could win!
The Rules
You must use all of, but are not limited to, the above images.
Your entry can be a still image or an animation.
edwell, doc_rostov, hamscout - you have your materials.
The title of Minister of Hastily Photoshopped Buggery is at stake.
You will have sixty minutes for this challenge. Please open your image editing programs when ready, reply to this post with the word 'start' and post your image when finished.
spinynorman, Tell 'em what they could win!
hamscout
+0 -0
I am honored to be a part of the festivities, but I will have to wait until this evening to enter--I've wasted my precious few 'before-work achewood moments' on the frivolous and dumb comments seen above.
This is not a resignation, but I feel that even if I schemed at something all day, and worked long into the night completing it, I would still fall short of the creative talents of my rivals. I bow to you, good sahrrrs...
(Falseprophet, I chubby you for your blatant 'fuck you' yesterday's image-hating post by that underlined bastard.)
I am honored to be a part of the festivities, but I will have to wait until this evening to enter--I've wasted my precious few 'before-work achewood moments' on the frivolous and dumb comments seen above.
This is not a resignation, but I feel that even if I schemed at something all day, and worked long into the night completing it, I would still fall short of the creative talents of my rivals. I bow to you, good sahrrrs...
(Falseprophet, I chubby you for your blatant 'fuck you' yesterday's image-hating post by that underlined bastard.)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GMM, equinn2006, caduceo, Doc_Rostov, bumfighter)
A comment left by achilleselbow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GMM, equinn2006, caduceo, Doc_Rostov, bumfighter)
gmm
+0 -0
That... that is some deeply unpleasant shit going on in the corner. You pretty much deserve those lames. My eyes. My eyes.
That... that is some deeply unpleasant shit going on in the corner. You pretty much deserve those lames. My eyes. My eyes.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
You win, "Participant."
You win, "Participant."
falseprophet
+0 -0
I know it kind of looks like Beef is jacking off his brother but I can't help but see it as Beef furiously typing on his balls. I don't know which is more frightening.
I don't know what anything is anymore.
I know it kind of looks like Beef is jacking off his brother but I can't help but see it as Beef furiously typing on his balls. I don't know which is more frightening.
I don't know what anything is anymore.
edwell
+1 -0
start
start
cromar
+0 -0
Oh snap the bait has been taken. What wondrous imagery will be transmitted to our retinas?!
Oh snap the bait has been taken. What wondrous imagery will be transmitted to our retinas?!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I gave you the chubby that made your total 1337. You are welcome
I gave you the chubby that made your total 1337. You are welcome
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh man this was posted an hour ago. I'm excited now.
Oh man this was posted an hour ago. I'm excited now.
edwell
+0 -0
third friggin' Photoshop crash
this time i had the presence of mind to save the first five minutes of my third attempt
third friggin' Photoshop crash
this time i had the presence of mind to save the first five minutes of my third attempt
falseprophet
+0 -0
Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiit
If you are forced to re-start from scratch, re-start the clock. If you have a save at five minutes in, start from 00:55.
Aw yeah baby we doin this
Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiit
If you are forced to re-start from scratch, re-start the clock. If you have a save at five minutes in, start from 00:55.
Aw yeah baby we doin this
i_love_kate
+0 -0
(That black guy's telling people what to do? Is... is that okay? I'm never sure, these days!)
(That black guy's telling people what to do? Is... is that okay? I'm never sure, these days!)
odei
+0 -0
I tried using photoshop on one of the computers we have in the volunteering organisation offices, on Vista. I had to try to close the program through the system monitor to get the pop-up dialogue to apply transformations. It was quite inconvenient, especially when I accidentally closed it!
I tried using photoshop on one of the computers we have in the volunteering organisation offices, on Vista. I had to try to close the program through the system monitor to get the pop-up dialogue to apply transformations. It was quite inconvenient, especially when I accidentally closed it!
falseprophet
+0 -0
Man he even took the extra time and risk of filing his entry into the contest in BBCode Bold.
The catwalk of confidence? Or the teetering of the arrogance?
Man he even took the extra time and risk of filing his entry into the contest in BBCode Bold.
The catwalk of confidence? Or the teetering of the arrogance?
edwell
+38 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Delicious
Delicious
_______________
+0 -0
Comment left by _______________ ignored.
Comment left by _______________ ignored.
odei
+0 -0
Assetbar is only just over a year old, so that's pretty impressive!
Assetbar is only just over a year old, so that's pretty impressive!
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Give us one good reason why we shouldn't assume that.
Give us one good reason why we shouldn't assume that.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh SNAP!
Oh SNAP!
falseprophet
+1 -0
An incredible entry!
As of this posting, it's about 8:50 PM EST and hamscout's start was "14 minutes go." The click is ticking hamscout! Let's see what you've got in store!
Of course, in the interest of maintaining impartiality and conserving my chubby reserves, I must refrain from chubbying either entry until all the entries are in. I hope that our spectators will show the contestants the same courtesy.
An incredible entry!
As of this posting, it's about 8:50 PM EST and hamscout's start was "14 minutes go." The click is ticking hamscout! Let's see what you've got in store!
Of course, in the interest of maintaining impartiality and conserving my chubby reserves, I must refrain from chubbying either entry until all the entries are in. I hope that our spectators will show the contestants the same courtesy.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Ah f me in the a.
Ah f me in the a.
chuvak
+0 -0
Dude you just came really close to actually TYPING A SPOONERISM. I've never seen anything lick it. Click is ticking indeed.
Dude you just came really close to actually TYPING A SPOONERISM. I've never seen anything lick it. Click is ticking indeed.
hamscout
+0 -0
edwell, I salute you!
Excellent use of the site content! I tried to come up with a scene utilizing the woman's matronly upper arms and the showbiz shower scene, but it wasn't right.
(In more ways than one...)
Enjoy this chubby of friendly competition!
edwell, I salute you!
Excellent use of the site content! I tried to come up with a scene utilizing the woman's matronly upper arms and the showbiz shower scene, but it wasn't right.
(In more ways than one...)
Enjoy this chubby of friendly competition!
pogo
+0 -0
A plus
A plus
comrade_tom
+0 -0
You absolute arsehole, you make the chubby craving mediocrities of posts by individuals such as mine all the more unworthy.
I still chubbied this.
You absolute arsehole, you make the chubby craving mediocrities of posts by individuals such as mine all the more unworthy.
I still chubbied this.
hamscout
+0 -0
staaaaaaart!
oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
staaaaaaart!
oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
hamscout
+13 -0
*checks clock* oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!
[IMGS OFF]
*checks clock* oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!
[IMGS OFF]
cromar
+0 -0
Oh, Hamscout.... this is too much!
Oh, Hamscout.... this is too much!
flazisismuss
+1 -0
Chubby for reference to the best arc in this work's history to date.
Chubby for reference to the best arc in this work's history to date.
chuvak
+1 -0
Your avatar is a high school principal.
Your avatar is a high school principal.
falseprophet
+0 -0
hamscout is in the game!
But where is doc_rostov? He's proven himself a formidable opponent in Photoshop contests past but he's been strangely silent today. Perhaps he is sequestered by Advanced Placement exams he alluded to previously or he is at his Prom and is gettin reddy to do some F-f-f-f-fuckin' but I'm afraid the contest must close when the next strip is posted . The winner will be decided by chubbies.
Is the doc gunning for the eleventh hour upset? All showin up late as hell like Son Goku ready to fight but basically neglectful of his son's well-being and his wife's CLIT? Teachin a horrible lesson to the children that no matter how hard you try to make yourself better at what you want to do in the end all that matters in life is the talent afforded you by accidental genetics?
[i]Keep on boppin, Warriors.
hamscout is in the game!
But where is doc_rostov? He's proven himself a formidable opponent in Photoshop contests past but he's been strangely silent today. Perhaps he is sequestered by Advanced Placement exams he alluded to previously or he is at his Prom and is gettin reddy to do some F-f-f-f-fuckin' but I'm afraid the contest must close when the next strip is posted . The winner will be decided by chubbies.
Is the doc gunning for the eleventh hour upset? All showin up late as hell like Son Goku ready to fight but basically neglectful of his son's well-being and his wife's CLIT? Teachin a horrible lesson to the children that no matter how hard you try to make yourself better at what you want to do in the end all that matters in life is the talent afforded you by accidental genetics?
[i]Keep on boppin, Warriors.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
For the sake of explanation: I was cleaning, filing checks, and registering for classes at Duke today. I was incredibly busy. I hadn't even checked Assetbar at all until now!
I hate to be a Goku, but...
Start.
For the sake of explanation: I was cleaning, filing checks, and registering for classes at Duke today. I was incredibly busy. I hadn't even checked Assetbar at all until now!
I hate to be a Goku, but...
Start.
hamscout
+0 -0
Yessssss! Dream three-way!!!
Yessssss! Dream three-way!!!
doc_rostov
+17 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Sorry. It was a bit over the hour limit. Photoshop froze up for about 10 minutes near the end, and I hadn't saved, so I almost lost it. Oh well. Isn't quite as awesome as the idea was when I first envisioned it, but whatever . It works.
[IMGS OFF]
Sorry. It was a bit over the hour limit. Photoshop froze up for about 10 minutes near the end, and I hadn't saved, so I almost lost it. Oh well. Isn't quite as awesome as the idea was when I first envisioned it, but whatever . It works.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Hey! My little brother gave up a horrible addiction and is now goofy for Jesus! Not cool! Not funny! Not a good comment!
Hey! My little brother gave up a horrible addiction and is now goofy for Jesus! Not cool! Not funny! Not a good comment!
gowerski
+0 -0
yeah
feel my pro feelings
yeah
feel my pro feelings
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Oh a strong strong showing doc_rostov but you forgot to use the homescript ... logo! In tallying your score for the competition we'll have to deduct one chubby.
Well ladies and gentlemen the Friday strip has been posted so that means the score as it is now is final. I'll just refresh so I can have the most recent and then declare a winner, and ...
Oh a strong strong showing doc_rostov but you forgot to use the homescript ... logo! In tallying your score for the competition we'll have to deduct one chubby.
Well ladies and gentlemen the Friday strip has been posted so that means the score as it is now is final. I'll just refresh so I can have the most recent and then declare a winner, and ...
falseprophet
+0 -0
edwell 19 chubbies
hamscout 7 chubbies
doc_rostov 4 chubbies (adjusted)
achilleselbow 3 chubbies
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, and the new Ministry of Hastily Photoshopped Buggery is edwell
spinynorman You were completely useless!
edwell 19 chubbies
hamscout 7 chubbies
doc_rostov 4 chubbies (adjusted)
achilleselbow 3 chubbies
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, and the new Ministry of Hastily Photoshopped Buggery is edwell
spinynorman You were completely useless!
hamscout
+0 -0
I heartily agree! All Hail edwell!
I heartily agree! All Hail edwell!
pogo
+0 -0
But a great effort by the other contestants. I look forward to future rematches.
But a great effort by the other contestants. I look forward to future rematches.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I wouldn't say he's the NEW ministry(sic) of HPB, so much as he has always been there, watching us benevolently from above.
I wouldn't say he's the NEW ministry(sic) of HPB, so much as he has always been there, watching us benevolently from above.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i am so going to Accidentally remember these as official strips.
i am so going to Accidentally remember these as official strips.
spinynorman
+0 -0
8 months too late.
8 months too late.
cromar
+0 -0
So many chuckles in this thread.
So many chuckles in this thread.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Duke? DUKE? So, doc, are you part of the 5% of Duke students that are actually intelligent, or did you Legacy your ass in there?
It's funny that 90% of the people I know who graduated from Duke work jobs they could've got with an associate's degree from Wake Tech. Even my friend going to Fuqua gets his ass kicked by me all the time at bar trivia...and, let's face it, that's the true test of intelligence, as it gets you free beers.
Duke? DUKE? So, doc, are you part of the 5% of Duke students that are actually intelligent, or did you Legacy your ass in there?
It's funny that 90% of the people I know who graduated from Duke work jobs they could've got with an associate's degree from Wake Tech. Even my friend going to Fuqua gets his ass kicked by me all the time at bar trivia...and, let's face it, that's the true test of intelligence, as it gets you free beers.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
No legacy here. I hate legacies. I'm just a smart guy from a family that isn't really financially well off. My dad didn't even graduate from college. From my experience here and the dudes I know who are graduating soon, I don't know if I would say most of the people at Duke are going to be working jobs you could get with an associates. An excruciatingly solid number, but probably not most. I would say, though, that probably over 90% are going to be working jobs they could have gotten with a bachelors from their respective state school and some hard work. Virtually everyone here will be working those kinds of jobs after graduation. Me included.
Despite this, the Average Duke Graduate will also spend virtually every day of their first five years out of college smirking over their paychecks as they reflect on how much "better" life is for them than it would be for a student who went to a state school, and how much more "enlightened" their supposedly top drawer education has made them. There are way too many pretentious fops here who aren't going to do jack shit with their degrees. I think part of the allure for these people to come here was just the security blanket that going to a "top tier" school gives them; whenever they're failing because they aren't putting enough effort in, they can fall back on the fact that things are "certainly" better here than they could be anywhere else. The fact that it's a bald faced lie doesn't really knock them.
(My opinions are not very popular among Duke students. This is why I do not make it a point to share them, at least among Duke students. And you say going to Fuqua in the present tense. Are you a dude ensconced in Durham? That would be strange.)
No legacy here. I hate legacies. I'm just a smart guy from a family that isn't really financially well off. My dad didn't even graduate from college. From my experience here and the dudes I know who are graduating soon, I don't know if I would say most of the people at Duke are going to be working jobs you could get with an associates. An excruciatingly solid number, but probably not most. I would say, though, that probably over 90% are going to be working jobs they could have gotten with a bachelors from their respective state school and some hard work. Virtually everyone here will be working those kinds of jobs after graduation. Me included.
Despite this, the Average Duke Graduate will also spend virtually every day of their first five years out of college smirking over their paychecks as they reflect on how much "better" life is for them than it would be for a student who went to a state school, and how much more "enlightened" their supposedly top drawer education has made them. There are way too many pretentious fops here who aren't going to do jack shit with their degrees. I think part of the allure for these people to come here was just the security blanket that going to a "top tier" school gives them; whenever they're failing because they aren't putting enough effort in, they can fall back on the fact that things are "certainly" better here than they could be anywhere else. The fact that it's a bald faced lie doesn't really knock them.
(My opinions are not very popular among Duke students. This is why I do not make it a point to share them, at least among Duke students. And you say going to Fuqua in the present tense. Are you a dude ensconced in Durham? That would be strange.)
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Naw, not in Durham, but not exceedingly far from the area. The only time I ever go to Durham is for the occassional Bulls game in the summer, but then again I'm exceedingly lazy.
Naw, not in Durham, but not exceedingly far from the area. The only time I ever go to Durham is for the occassional Bulls game in the summer, but then again I'm exceedingly lazy.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I guess the theme of that comment was "excess."
I guess the theme of that comment was "excess."
theirateturk
+0 -1
A cartoon of modern life as lived by a retarded otter, an alcoholic tiger, and two bears.
I MISS THE RETARDED OTTER.
A cartoon of modern life as lived by a retarded otter, an alcoholic tiger, and two bears.
I MISS THE RETARDED OTTER.
theirateturk
+0 -1
WHATEVER
LAME ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, JERK
** puts on freezepop song **
WHATEVER
LAME ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, JERK
** puts on freezepop song **
theirateturk
+0 -0
Is that cat-penis-tip or extra bubbles
Is that cat-penis-tip or extra bubbles
talix18
+1 -0
Exactly.
Exactly.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Its shaded gray so I think that makes it bubbles.
Its shaded gray so I think that makes it bubbles.
grayfox
+0 -0
Showbiz for me initially was merely amusing, if not slightly annoying. This elevates him to a new level of hatred, as shown by Roast Beef's bicep made visible with fratricidal wrath. (no, I didn't learn that word at talk like a dick school, yes I had to look it up, no not because I lack a basic education, yes because I should be asleep right now)
Showbiz for me initially was merely amusing, if not slightly annoying. This elevates him to a new level of hatred, as shown by Roast Beef's bicep made visible with fratricidal wrath. (no, I didn't learn that word at talk like a dick school, yes I had to look it up, no not because I lack a basic education, yes because I should be asleep right now)
sirfrederick
+0 -0
It's a good word and you used it well.
It's a good word and you used it well.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Does using Greek portmanteaus makes you so defensive? I for one have no desire to judge you.
Does using Greek portmanteaus makes you so defensive? I for one have no desire to judge you.
balboa
+0 -0
The time/date stamp in the web cam was a nice touch
The time/date stamp in the web cam was a nice touch
irondave
+0 -0
"Hnaah!"
Is that a stoner exclamation? I hear it coming from Keanu Reeves.
"Hnaah!"
Is that a stoner exclamation? I hear it coming from Keanu Reeves.
anitrophaeron
+0 -0
I think it's a grunt of exertion from all the plopping he's doing.
I think it's a grunt of exertion from all the plopping he's doing.
tekende
+0 -0
Showbiz rocks out with his cock out.
Showbiz rocks out with his cock out.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Seriously, though, he does rock out.
Seriously, though, he does rock out.
the_prophet
+0 -0
With- his cock out
With- his cock out
aarongstock
+0 -0
Showbiz... with his cock out.
Showbiz... with his cock out.
snidedk
+4 -0
In the Conservatory!
In the Conservatory!
whoisspain
+0 -0
I knew Eileen Brennan was innocent!
I knew Eileen Brennan was innocent!
daidai
+0 -0
With the candlestick!
With the candlestick!
stereo
+0 -0
That's no candlestick!
That's no candlestick!
whoisspain
+0 -0
It's a trap!
It's a trap!
yearsinhotclaws
+2 -0
Oh please, you guys act like you wouldn't plot to wreck your brother's marriage if you were given half the chance.
Oh please, you guys act like you wouldn't plot to wreck your brother's marriage if you were given half the chance.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Given a quarter of a chance, I'd wreck your brother's wedding. Punkass owes me money.
Given a quarter of a chance, I'd wreck your brother's wedding. Punkass owes me money.
bixschmix
+3 -0
Nobody with hair like Showbiz's is ever up to anything good. This is my thesis, and I shall stay committed to it until shown otherwise.
Nobody with hair like Showbiz's is ever up to anything good. This is my thesis, and I shall stay committed to it until shown otherwise.
perilon
+0 -0
I... you're right. When did I even last see a be-stringy haired skeezeball act upstanding? I got to take stock, man.
I... you're right. When did I even last see a be-stringy haired skeezeball act upstanding? I got to take stock, man.
jonmw
+0 -0
You can imagine him retaining the ponytail, even as the hairline continues to recede at the front. This is why there should be a licence for owning ponytails.
Pony's ass = OK
Showbiz = Not OK
You can imagine him retaining the ponytail, even as the hairline continues to recede at the front. This is why there should be a licence for owning ponytails.
Pony's ass = OK
Showbiz = Not OK
______________
+0 -0
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
bixschypomixacrit he was the guy that invented medicine, right?
seriously guys I have a classics essay for tommorow and I need answers.
bixschypomixacrit he was the guy that invented medicine, right?
seriously guys I have a classics essay for tommorow and I need answers.
sleepchillin
+0 -0
actually, he invented message boards. the first message boards were heavily moderated, since while comments were easy to mark according to one's estimation of their contents' value, they were not as easy to erase. the penalty for too many 'lameus' comments was death by catherine wheel.
actually, he invented message boards. the first message boards were heavily moderated, since while comments were easy to mark according to one's estimation of their contents' value, they were not as easy to erase. the penalty for too many 'lameus' comments was death by catherine wheel.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
The mustache he occasionally sports is also a clue, but the hair is constant, so it is the best to judge by. Good call.
The mustache he occasionally sports is also a clue, but the hair is constant, so it is the best to judge by. Good call.
hexjumper
+0 -0
I do not think that Showbiz is going to be much longer for this world.
This does mark, however, his conversion from irritant in Beef's life to somebody who's actively trying to damage his brother. Which is kind of sad.
I do not think that Showbiz is going to be much longer for this world.
This does mark, however, his conversion from irritant in Beef's life to somebody who's actively trying to damage his brother. Which is kind of sad.
plummet
+0 -0
two words, people
two words.
[i]oooooooooooooh
shiiiiiiiiiit[/i\
two words, people
two words.
[i]oooooooooooooh
shiiiiiiiiiit[/i\
plummet
+3 -0
SCREW YOU, ASSETBAR! FUCK YOU!
SCREW YOU, ASSETBAR! FUCK YOU!
saulbellow
+0 -0
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lux, Charcoal, jhaela, anitrophaeron)
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lux, Charcoal, jhaela, anitrophaeron)
saulbellow
+0 -0
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lux, Charcoal, jhaela, anitrophaeron)
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lux, Charcoal, jhaela, anitrophaeron)
plummet
+3 -0
you're working some pretty rough chuckles there
you're working some pretty rough chuckles there
______________
+0 -0
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
saulbellow
+0 -0
I did not, however, anticipate both the original and the reply being separately lamed. I feel the thick sting of ostracization coming on.
I did not, however, anticipate both the original and the reply being separately lamed. I feel the thick sting of ostracization coming on.
i_love_kate
+5 -0
Doubly so, now that you've apparently chubbied a post by ___________.
That, sir, renders you pending for a bending.
Doubly so, now that you've apparently chubbied a post by ___________.
That, sir, renders you pending for a bending.
saulbellow
+0 -0
What can I say? I'm an indiscriminately generous and irrationally forgiving person.
What can I say? I'm an indiscriminately generous and irrationally forgiving person.
pogo
+0 -0
Translation: He's a stingy backstabber.
Translation: He's a stingy backstabber.
valrus
+0 -0
Chubbied for splendid coinage
Chubbied for splendid coinage
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Such a polite business like way of letting you know. It's an email from a blindingly optimistic boss.
Such a polite business like way of letting you know. It's an email from a blindingly optimistic boss.
plummet
+0 -0
Saulbellow do you think it is rad to be a dick to a stranger for messin' up his bbcode by accident
Saulbellow do you think it is rad to be a dick to a stranger for messin' up his bbcode by accident
saulbellow
+0 -0
I agree that it is okay
I agree that it is okay
drmemory
+1 -0
I am astonished that Beef can be anyone's cash flow.
I am astonished that Beef can be anyone's cash flow.
dudesstew
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure Showbiz is the worst person in the strip. I mean, Pat's not really evil or anything, he's just an asshole. I don't remember him really doing anything to actually try and hurt any of his "friends" most of his actions are either accidents (shooting Beef or Cornelius) or just him being a dick more than anything else.
Todd is also not really bad either, he's a nasty son of a bitch, but in all honesty, would we really have him any other way ?
Hell even Nice Pete, though trying to kill T and Ray kinda ruins this a bit, isn't...really...bad...? I guess ?
I guess what I'm saying is Showbiz needs to get an ass kicking of the highest caliber.
I'm pretty sure Showbiz is the worst person in the strip. I mean, Pat's not really evil or anything, he's just an asshole. I don't remember him really doing anything to actually try and hurt any of his "friends" most of his actions are either accidents (shooting Beef or Cornelius) or just him being a dick more than anything else.
Todd is also not really bad either, he's a nasty son of a bitch, but in all honesty, would we really have him any other way ?
Hell even Nice Pete, though trying to kill T and Ray kinda ruins this a bit, isn't...really...bad...? I guess ?
I guess what I'm saying is Showbiz needs to get an ass kicking of the highest caliber.
______________
+0 -0
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
dudesstew
+1 -0
I think it's becuase Pete will simply kill a person. You'll notice he only tried to kill Ray and T because they insulted him, and as bad a reason that is for killing, it's still some sort of reason we could sort of see.
The incident with Phillipe is even working in his favor because he really did do nothing wrong there. He did bring him to an ice cream shop, it was just an incredibly weird way of doing it.
I think PEte is a better character than Showbiz becuase I really don;t think he would do anything like this. Pete'll just kill you, he won't try and destroy your life or anything. And even then it'll be for some small flaw or anything that he'll kill you.
Showbiz is just activly hurting his own brother for his own gain, I actually think Pete would find that really disgusting and something someone of low mind would do.
I think it's becuase Pete will simply kill a person. You'll notice he only tried to kill Ray and T because they insulted him, and as bad a reason that is for killing, it's still some sort of reason we could sort of see.
The incident with Phillipe is even working in his favor because he really did do nothing wrong there. He did bring him to an ice cream shop, it was just an incredibly weird way of doing it.
I think PEte is a better character than Showbiz becuase I really don;t think he would do anything like this. Pete'll just kill you, he won't try and destroy your life or anything. And even then it'll be for some small flaw or anything that he'll kill you.
Showbiz is just activly hurting his own brother for his own gain, I actually think Pete would find that really disgusting and something someone of low mind would do.
phy
+0 -0
Plus Showbiz has no variety of honour or decency. I can't see Showbiz refraining from trying to scam you after you save him from getting hella stabbed in the ass cheek and brain.
Plus Showbiz has no variety of honour or decency. I can't see Showbiz refraining from trying to scam you after you save him from getting hella stabbed in the ass cheek and brain.
whoisspain
+1 -0
Showbiz is not even playing Hungry Hungry Hippos. He tried and he is now choking on one of the little white plastic balls.
Showbiz is not even playing Hungry Hungry Hippos. He tried and he is now choking on one of the little white plastic balls.
daidai
+1 -0
Showbiz is like the Coyote to Beef's Roadrunner. His schemes will always fail, and he is a jackass.
Showbiz is like the Coyote to Beef's Roadrunner. His schemes will always fail, and he is a jackass.
gladi8orrex
+310 -2
i tink showbizz is black. would esplain alot of tings
i tink showbizz is black. would esplain alot of tings
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You take your role very seriously gladbags. It creeps me out entirely.
You take your role very seriously gladbags. It creeps me out entirely.
gladi8orrex
+321 -0
lol gladbags r deh only trashbags i no dat are white insted of deh usewell black. glad's ceo is prob black
lol gladbags r deh only trashbags i no dat are white insted of deh usewell black. glad's ceo is prob black
maximus
+0 -0
GladddddieightoorrexIAmSoGladThatYouHaveFoundAHomeHereOnAssetbarAndThatYouHaveCreatedASmallCottageIndustryInTheGladio8orrexTranslationIndustry!!!!!oneone!!eleventyone!!
GladddddieightoorrexIAmSoGladThatYouHaveFoundAHomeHereOnAssetbarAndThatYouHaveCreatedASmallCottageIndustryInTheGladio8orrexTranslationIndustry!!!!!oneone!!eleventyone!!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You're my favourite trashbag gladi8orrex.
You're my favourite trashbag gladi8orrex.
tucky
+0 -0
I have to admit, it took me until just now to realize that your avatar isn't Emperor Palpatine.
I have to admit, it took me until just now to realize that your avatar isn't Emperor Palpatine.
yearsinhotclaws
+2 -0
I'll be the first to admit, I have a huge crush on Emperor Palpatine.
[IMGS OFF]
I'll be the first to admit, I have a huge crush on Emperor Palpatine.
[IMGS OFF]
cromar
+0 -0
Beautiful!
Beautiful!
postblank
+0 -0
What is the sentient worm-spine doing to the Goldie Hawn fetus?
What is the sentient worm-spine doing to the Goldie Hawn fetus?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I'll leave that to the power of your imagination!
Also I like to think of the baby as anakin skywalker since they look so similar. Anyway, someone needs to put this on the cover of a metal album pronto.
I'll leave that to the power of your imagination!
Also I like to think of the baby as anakin skywalker since they look so similar. Anyway, someone needs to put this on the cover of a metal album pronto.
chuvak
+0 -0
he's got tits on his head. WHY GOD WHY?!
he's got tits on his head. WHY GOD WHY?!
goldendeath
+1 -0
So Showbiz was jacking off at Beef's computer to video of himself jacking off in the shower that he got from a camera he put there to record a video of Molly naked that he could jack off to - that's deep man
So Showbiz was jacking off at Beef's computer to video of himself jacking off in the shower that he got from a camera he put there to record a video of Molly naked that he could jack off to - that's deep man
molesticide
+0 -0
that is not what happened.
that is not what happened.
goldendeath
+1 -0
yeah, i see now that showbiz left the showercam media player open while he himself was in the shower - i'm sorry if i let my personal life bleed into my comments here yet again
yeah, i see now that showbiz left the showercam media player open while he himself was in the shower - i'm sorry if i let my personal life bleed into my comments here yet again
orvel
+0 -0
Actually, he was recording himself for later use. He will later try to beat his previous record time.
It's like activating the "ghost car" in Mario Kart or other racing video games.
Actually, he was recording himself for later use. He will later try to beat his previous record time.
It's like activating the "ghost car" in Mario Kart or other racing video games.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
In this game, firing a red shell to win is a bad thing.
In this game, firing a red shell to win is a bad thing.
goldendeath
+0 -0
yet it still involves power slides (and banana peels in my case)
yet it still involves power slides (and banana peels in my case)
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Not that I condone his behavior, but I gotta say Showbiz's plan isn't that bad, for him I mean. Something tells me it simply isn't going to work, what with Beef's aversion to infidelity and to his brother being best man, but this seems like the situation that could just snowball on him.
Not that I condone his behavior, but I gotta say Showbiz's plan isn't that bad, for him I mean. Something tells me it simply isn't going to work, what with Beef's aversion to infidelity and to his brother being best man, but this seems like the situation that could just snowball on him.
dudesstew
+1 -0
It's got one fatal flaw though. Would you really continue to give money to a dude who basically gave pictures of you boning a stripper to your fiance ?
"Whelp, ya ruined my life , but hey, here's a 10 spot mam."
It's got one fatal flaw though. Would you really continue to give money to a dude who basically gave pictures of you boning a stripper to your fiance ?
"Whelp, ya ruined my life , but hey, here's a 10 spot mam."
dudesstew
+0 -0
MAMIE !
MAMIE !
dasilodavi
+0 -0
MAMMO!
MAMMO!
______________
+0 -0
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
cakeofpan
+0 -0
Showbiz's plan is based on one fundamentally flawed assumption: that anyone would throw it all away to nail a Mexican stripper. Only Congressmen do that.
Showbiz's plan is based on one fundamentally flawed assumption: that anyone would throw it all away to nail a Mexican stripper. Only Congressmen do that.
grunchorelaxo
+3 -0
This will be the high point of Showbiz's day.
It's all downhill from here.
This will be the high point of Showbiz's day.
It's all downhill from here.
nabeel84
+0 -0
chubby for reference
chubby for reference
sleepchillin
+0 -0
showbiz totally works at mr. smiley's. unlike lester burnham, however, he is not overqualified.
showbiz totally works at mr. smiley's. unlike lester burnham, however, he is not overqualified.
kickstart
+0 -0
Hidden cameras: soap dispenser-based or Boba Fett-based? Discuss.
Hidden cameras: soap dispenser-based or Boba Fett-based? Discuss.
pogo
+0 -1
I like the shower scene in Psycho better.
I like the shower scene in Psycho better.
i_love_kate
+4 -0
It is funny because the old man appreciates black and white films.
It is funny because the old man appreciates black and white films.
yearsinhotclaws
+3 -0
Oh man, I love psycho. Vince Vaughan is my favorite actor!
Oh man, I love psycho. Vince Vaughan is my favorite actor!
kickstart
+0 -0
[runs behind the shed with hotclaws, snickering behind our hands]
[runs behind the shed with hotclaws, snickering behind our hands]
hobbes557
+1 -0
Showbiz is the guy who sucks.
Showbiz is the guy who sucks.
orvel
+0 -0
...even without depression.
Depression would probably make him more likable. Then again, what wouldn't?
...even without depression.
Depression would probably make him more likable. Then again, what wouldn't?
possums
+0 -0
Man, I hate Showbiz.
Man, I hate Showbiz.
bumfighter
+0 -0
Alright people, time to start a betting pool for who tries to kill Showbiz first:
I am putting down one chubby on Nice Pete.
I think he's usually the first one to try and kill a dude. Shit, he may have tried to kill Showbiz in a previous strip and we just haven't noticed yet.
Alright people, time to start a betting pool for who tries to kill Showbiz first:
I am putting down one chubby on Nice Pete.
I think he's usually the first one to try and kill a dude. Shit, he may have tried to kill Showbiz in a previous strip and we just haven't noticed yet.
whoisspain
+1 -0
I put a chubby on Showbiz killing himself through auto-erotic asphyxiation-related misadventure.
I put a chubby on Showbiz killing himself through auto-erotic asphyxiation-related misadventure.
daidai
+2 -0
Phillippe in the upset.
Count it.
Phillippe in the upset.
Count it.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Anton Chigurh
With the quarter
In the gas station
Anton Chigurh
With the quarter
In the gas station
molesticide
+0 -0
todd, matchstick, ankle.
todd, matchstick, ankle.
odei
+0 -0
Philippe's mother, with christian scorn and a belt buckle, in the home of our lord.
Philippe's mother, with christian scorn and a belt buckle, in the home of our lord.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
Iorwerth Sanders, with a sledge, in full view of the constabulary.
Iorwerth Sanders, with a sledge, in full view of the constabulary.
jonmw
+0 -0
Hm. Is Nice Pete likely to leverage a tactic as questionable as entrapment - because that is one way of looking at tempting Beef with Tijuana Strippers.
Hm. Is Nice Pete likely to leverage a tactic as questionable as entrapment - because that is one way of looking at tempting Beef with Tijuana Strippers.
kamet
+0 -0
My vote is Ray. It is the best man's responsibility to shut down any punk-assery at his best friends wedding, even if it's from the grooms own punk-ass brother.
My vote is Ray. It is the best man's responsibility to shut down any punk-assery at his best friends wedding, even if it's from the grooms own punk-ass brother.
kamet
+0 -0
With another chubby bet on Gramma K.
With another chubby bet on Gramma K.
trapperjohn
+0 -0
Showbiz to kill Beef accidentally in the shower when Beef confronts him. Molly to rescue Beef from New Heaven (a Pulte Homes community) in time for the wedding.
Showbiz to kill Beef accidentally in the shower when Beef confronts him. Molly to rescue Beef from New Heaven (a Pulte Homes community) in time for the wedding.
phy
+0 -0
And by implication, so does America.
And by implication, so does America.
speth
+0 -0
nerd!
nerd!
mcjuicy
+0 -0
If Showbiz uses some of the money he gets from Beef to get an education, he may not have to do horrible things to him.
If Showbiz uses some of the money he gets from Beef to get an education, he may not have to do horrible things to him.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
I don't think Showbiz is the kind of guy that learns.
I don't think Showbiz is the kind of guy that learns.
mcjuicy
+0 -0
he was able to purchase a soap dispenser camera. AND install it!
he was able to purchase a soap dispenser camera. AND install it!
odei
+0 -0
I would be surprised if he didn't buy it off eBay using Beef's account.
I would be surprised if he didn't buy it off eBay using Beef's account.
______________
+0 -0
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
Comment left by ______________ ignored.
heccibiggs
+2 -0
I'm going to slightly misquote what someone once said about Philippe here.
Insulting catgrl is like insulting everyone here's little sister. We are her big brother and we will beat you up.
I'm going to slightly misquote what someone once said about Philippe here.
Insulting catgrl is like insulting everyone here's little sister. We are her big brother and we will beat you up.
odei
+0 -0
Catgrl's arms are tiny, and that means she can punch straight through you.
Catgrl's arms are tiny, and that means she can punch straight through you.
sidd2600
+8 -0
Only a Bad Man knows so many people named Keith, he throws in the last initial.
Only a Bad Man knows so many people named Keith, he throws in the last initial.
falseprophet
+3 -0
Hey man I actually have an uncle named Keith
NC, NF, NGC
Hey man I actually have an uncle named Keith
NC, NF, NGC
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Not Cool, Not Fair, Not Good Comment?
Not Cool, Not Fair, Not Good Comment?
davey-boy
+2 -0
North Carolina, Newfoundland, North Gate Construction?
North Carolina, Newfoundland, North Gate Construction?
maximus
+5 -0
"Never Comment, Never Falter, Never Get Crabs"
[IMGS OFF]
"Never Comment, Never Falter, Never Get Crabs"
[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
In accent this is just the greatest public declaration ever.
In accent this is just the greatest public declaration ever.
tekende
+0 -0
HUGE virtual chubby sir
HUGE virtual chubby sir
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Just for posterity:Fair , Funny.
Just for posterity:
cromar
+0 -0
Falseprophet: shepherd of acronyms!
Falseprophet: shepherd of acronyms!
chilibone
+1 -0
there is no more magical moment than realizing that you and a friend have to make plop plops at the same time
there is no more magical moment than realizing that you and a friend have to make plop plops at the same time
katsura
+0 -0
If the events following this strip, plan going off or otherwise, culminate in the wedding being called off, I WILL BE SAD.
Also I was totally expecting Ultra Peanut to return after Ramses and Molly's dad appearing, but you can't always get what you want.
If the events following this strip, plan going off or otherwise, culminate in the wedding being called off, I WILL BE SAD.
Also I was totally expecting Ultra Peanut to return after Ramses and Molly's dad appearing, but you can't always get what you want.
tekende
+1 -0
I have heard it said, though, that if you try sometimes, you might get what you need.
I have heard it said, though, that if you try sometimes, you might get what you need.
orvel
+0 -0
The chorus and I echo tekende's sentiment.
The chorus and I echo tekende's sentiment.
beansdooma
+0 -0
showbiz is a jackass
showbiz is a jackass
dejavroom
+0 -0
Is that Showbiz's leg raised to a horizontal stand just right above the clock in the next-to-last-panel? If not, *what is it*?
Is that Showbiz's leg raised to a horizontal stand just right above the clock in the next-to-last-panel? If not, *what is it*?
sarakan
+0 -0
Is it? It is.
Is it? It is.
tetrisattack
+0 -0
Showbiz is such a jinkety-assed motherfucker.
Showbiz is such a jinkety-assed motherfucker.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Maybe you ladies will rethink your stance on Showbiz when you notive he needs two hands to pleasure himself
Maybe you ladies will rethink your stance on Showbiz when you notive he needs two hands to pleasure himself
kamet
+0 -0
Nah.. I think he's enough of a pansy to need two hands to be able to stimulate himself properly... His is the face of a man who has erectile isues. He tries WAY too hard. (Or soft?)
Nah.. I think he's enough of a pansy to need two hands to be able to stimulate himself properly... His is the face of a man who has erectile isues. He tries WAY too hard. (Or soft?)
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You people can spot erectile issues from face pictures? Fuck, I need to change my avatar again.
You people can spot erectile issues from face pictures? Fuck, I need to change my avatar again.
kamet
+0 -0
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
speth
+0 -0
showbiz rules because marriage is for nerds
showbiz rules because marriage is for nerds
i_love_kate
+0 -0
A comment left by i_love_kate was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gtec, Lainestin, dasilodavi)
A comment left by i_love_kate was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gtec, Lainestin, dasilodavi)
cromar
+0 -0
OK. So is it just me or are there a lot of new users with weird icons that seem to have read all the strips? Is not this the M.O. of someone we know? I am seriously confused and maybe just being paranoid, but...
OK. So is it just me or are there a lot of new users with weird icons that seem to have read all the strips? Is not this the M.O. of someone we know? I am seriously confused and maybe just being paranoid, but...
autrepoupee
+0 -0
NO NOT SPETH TOO N OOOOOOOOOOOOO
NO NOT SPETH TOO N OOOOOOOOOOOOO
pogo
+0 -0
May I politely say that it is nice to see your atttractive face (and finger) again.
May I politely say that it is nice to see your atttractive face (and finger) again.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back to weird.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back to weird.
speth
+0 -0
not me
they will not take me alive
not me
they will not take me alive
pogo
+0 -0
Some dude admitted to writing a program that viewed all the strips when he registered new user i.d's. Such a miuse of talent. Such a patentic cry for attention. He's a beaten momma-less baby who sucks wind.
Some dude admitted to writing a program that viewed all the strips when he registered new user i.d's. Such a miuse of talent. Such a patentic cry for attention. He's a beaten momma-less baby who sucks wind.
_______________
+0 -0
Comment left by _______________ ignored.
Comment left by _______________ ignored.
pogo
+0 -0
Hell if I can type sometimes. "misuse" "pathetic"
Hell if I can type sometimes. "misuse" "pathetic"
bubble
+0 -0
some of us just don't have a lot to say.
some of us just don't have a lot to say.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
W-chub. Why? Most of us rattle off at the mouth/keyboard when we don't have a lot to say. Stay strong bubble.
W-chub. Why? Most of us rattle off at the mouth/keyboard when we don't have a lot to say. Stay strong bubble.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
fuck. "W"-chub! See what I mean. Useless garble.
fuck. "W"-chub! See what I mean. Useless garble.
speth
+1 -2
shut up dork
shut up dork
hedonismbot
+1 -0
See, if you really wanna get these people, use proper punctuation and caps, and use grammar. Then incite them. Be sexist. Hate gays. Defend Pogo. Hit on the underage girls. Say Onstad is on his way down. Agree with Lawbot. Lame Edwell. Mark a bunch of strips at one and brag that you changed the rankings. Reuse catch phrases for weeks at a time. Be the second post, and start a fight about the first post. Explain jokes.
It's that sort of shit that can ruin this board. If you just become a AIU-clone, you will simply get ignored, and be an invisible troll. If you use real words, and start real fights, and lower the level of discourse for the rest of us, then you shall be kind among douchebags.
See, if you really wanna get these people, use proper punctuation and caps, and use grammar. Then incite them. Be sexist. Hate gays. Defend Pogo. Hit on the underage girls. Say Onstad is on his way down. Agree with Lawbot. Lame Edwell. Mark a bunch of strips at one and brag that you changed the rankings. Reuse catch phrases for weeks at a time. Be the second post, and start a fight about the first post. Explain jokes.
It's that sort of shit that can ruin this board. If you just become a AIU-clone, you will simply get ignored, and be an invisible troll. If you use real words, and start real fights, and lower the level of discourse for the rest of us, then you shall be kind among douchebags.
speth
+4 -0
my cock feels good as hell
my cock feels good as hell
bubble
+0 -0
sometimes I just stand in my living room in the nude holding my cock like the shaft of a hatchet, some shafted weapon.
It's those times that I feel powerful, a real, primal power.
sometimes I just stand in my living room in the nude holding my cock like the shaft of a hatchet, some shafted weapon.
It's those times that I feel powerful, a real, primal power.
speth
+1 -0
being sexual is cool
being sexual is cool
autrepoupee
+0 -0
i don't know i'm being dead serious here but speth, you are one of my favorite posters.
i may eat these words at a later date.
i don't know i'm being dead serious here but speth, you are one of my favorite posters.
i may eat these words at a later date.
speth
+1 -0
i am, as the germans say, Supercool when treated with benevolence
i am, as the germans say, Supercool when treated with benevolence
falseprophet
+0 -0
The first time I saw the abbreviation AIU on this board I was like "Whu-zuh?" and looked it up on urbandictionary, but to no avail. But context has provided me with understanding and I'm not sure I like the idea of abbreviating his name like that because it simply shows that he is so frequent a topic that we need to make talking about him more efficient.
Do not give him that kind of power.
The first time I saw the abbreviation AIU on this board I was like "Whu-zuh?" and looked it up on urbandictionary, but to no avail. But context has provided me with understanding and I'm not sure I like the idea of abbreviating his name like that because it simply shows that he is so frequent a topic that we need to make talking about him more efficient.
Do not give him that kind of power.
earendil
+0 -0
I like the inclusion of "Defend pogo" in the list of ways to offend assetbar.
I like the inclusion of "Defend pogo" in the list of ways to offend assetbar.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It broke my heart to write it, because I'm one of the few who really likes Pogo, but certain people here love arguing with him and dismissing his views, and supporting him invariably starts nasty fights (usually about politics)
It broke my heart to write it, because I'm one of the few who really likes Pogo, but certain people here love arguing with him and dismissing his views, and supporting him invariably starts nasty fights (usually about politics)
pogo
+0 -0
It's such a welcoming community, disfunctional, sure, animo-erotic, maybe, living cartoons, sure, but mentioned the electrocal college and we're off to the races! Love you, kids.
It's such a welcoming community, disfunctional, sure, animo-erotic, maybe, living cartoons, sure, but mentioned the electrocal college and we're off to the races! Love you, kids.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
The Agreement Box.
Pogo is one of my favorite Assetbarristas. Defending well-reasoned (and often correct!) viewpoints from being summarily dismissed brings me great amusement. It does tend to start odd fights, though.
"Hey, the electoral college has a purpo--"
"FUCK YOU MAN FUCK YOU "
"Wait, what? How does that ev--"
"I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SPEAK AGAIN GODDAMN"
"..."
"JESUS FUCK AGHHHH WHY SO SILENT"
The Agreement Box.
Pogo is one of my favorite Assetbarristas. Defending well-reasoned (and often correct!) viewpoints from being summarily dismissed brings me great amusement. It does tend to start odd fights, though.
"Hey, the electoral college has a purpo--"
"FUCK YOU MAN FUCK YOU "
"Wait, what? How does that ev--"
"I NEVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SPEAK AGAIN GODDAMN"
"..."
"JESUS FUCK AGHHHH WHY SO SILENT"
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You are ten times the speaker I am Rostov, and forty times the humorist. Great example
You are ten times the speaker I am Rostov, and forty times the humorist. Great example
bubble
+0 -0
Hey man, I'm glad you took the time to type out that really long post. I didn't really read it, but the formatting and paragraph structure was nice on the eyes, thanks.
Hey man, I'm glad you took the time to type out that really long post. I didn't really read it, but the formatting and paragraph structure was nice on the eyes, thanks.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I'm personally am really hoping that at least five of the chubbies I got for that were purely for the use of the phrase "grasp them firmly by the scrote".
I'm personally am really hoping that at least five of the chubbies I got for that were purely for the use of the phrase "grasp them firmly by the scrote".
bixschmix
+0 -0
If I had had but two chubbies to give, one would have gone towards your scrote grasping.
*Oh hehehe*
If I had had but two chubbies to give, one would have gone towards your scrote grasping.
*Oh hehehe*
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I awarded one for that particular reason. Style: Community-Education-Voice, Community-Education-Voice, Community-Education-Voice, SCROTE!, Community-Education-Voice.
I awarded one for that particular reason. Style: Community-Education-Voice, Community-Education-Voice, Community-Education-Voice, SCROTE!, Community-Education-Voice.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
It's spelled "intelligentsia". *produces felt, red-inked, error-underlining pen*
It's spelled "intelligentsia". *produces felt, red-inked, error-underlining pen*
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
Also, it's actually spelled "ad nauseam". I am immune to my own irony, so don't bother rejoining.
Also, it's actually spelled "ad nauseam". I am immune to my own irony, so don't bother rejoining.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fuck you, Fuckyoufriday.
No, I'm kidding, thanks. Won't happen again.
Fuck you, Fuckyoufriday.
No, I'm kidding, thanks. Won't happen again.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
Yours sincerely, Summer Glau.
Yours sincerely, Summer Glau.
chuvak
+0 -0
Successful advice for being a successful troll is successful.
Successful advice for being a successful troll is successful.
henrythecad
+0 -0
I wish beef would really fucking snap because of this. I've had enough of Showbiz's shit.
I wish beef would really fucking snap because of this. I've had enough of Showbiz's shit.
redmange
+1 -0
Keith F is a lower ranking Keith. As Keith M I denounce his actions in aiding and abiding the downfall of Roast Beef's wedding.
Keith F is a lower ranking Keith. As Keith M I denounce his actions in aiding and abiding the downfall of Roast Beef's wedding.
phy
+5 -0
Keith F got 48% on the Keith Exams.
Keith F got 48% on the Keith Exams.
davey-boy
+0 -0
You know what really climbs my prick?
You know what really climbs my prick?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Sure don't?
Sure don't?
davey-boy
+0 -0
YOUR MOTHER!
I am so sorry, you deserved better.
YOUR MOTHER!
I am so sorry, you deserved better.
orvel
+1 -0
As did her mother!
As did her mother!
davey-boy
+0 -0
Chubby for rising above the obvious 'That's what she said'.
Chubby for rising above the obvious 'That's what she said'.
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
The time in the shower can is 01.28.21:2? Dost this mean that Showbiz bought this camera 28 days ago and has been planning this Acapulco/Hidden Cam operation all this time?
The time in the shower can is 01.28.21:2? Dost this mean that Showbiz bought this camera 28 days ago and has been planning this Acapulco/Hidden Cam operation all this time?
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
I guess it also means that he doesn't know how to program the time into his shower cam.
I guess it also means that he doesn't know how to program the time into his shower cam.
odei
+0 -0
1 hour, 28 minutes, 21 seconds, 2 tenths of a second?
1 hour, 28 minutes, 21 seconds, 2 tenths of a second?
mrclarinet
+0 -0
I guess this means we can think of Showbiz as Beef's Evil Twin (tm). A little black goatee would compliment his look well, now that I think about it.
I guess this means we can think of Showbiz as Beef's Evil Twin (tm). A little black goatee would compliment his look well, now that I think about it.
chaesar
+0 -0
It's the only time he showers; two birds, one stone.
It's the only time he showers; two birds, one stone.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
such a habit would increase my weekly shower count considerably.
such a habit would increase my weekly shower count considerably.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
BARELY. DISGUISED. ROCK. HARD. CATCOCK.
Also, the title is a reference to a cracking film. Is there anything this strip doesn't do?
BARELY. DISGUISED. ROCK. HARD. CATCOCK.
Also, the title is a reference to a cracking film. Is there anything this strip doesn't do?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Assetbar, you and me behind the bike sheds later.
Assetbar, you and me behind the bike sheds later.
molesticide
+0 -0
it did not get ME off, which is something i appreciate in the majority of achewood strips.
it did not get ME off, which is something i appreciate in the majority of achewood strips.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It's not disguised, it's horribly, horribly infected. Smegma is a girl's worst friend.
(No picture needed)
It's not disguised, it's horribly, horribly infected. Smegma is a girl's worst friend.
(No picture needed)
molesticide
+0 -0
christ i hate being reminded that smegma exists.
christ i hate being reminded that smegma exists.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And thus I begin the petition for "smeg" to become an exclamatory in common use on Assetbar.
And thus I begin the petition for "smeg" to become an exclamatory in common use on Assetbar.
molesticide
+0 -0
do not petition this, smeghead.
do not petition this, smeghead.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Smeg; love it? Moist, or otherwise? Gentlemen?
Smeg; love it? Moist, or otherwise? Gentlemen?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Smegma: Its Terrific!
Smegma: Its Terrific!
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Smeg-tastic!
Smeg-tastic!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Smagma?
Smagma?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
LOVE SMEG.
LOVE IT.
LOVE SMEG.
LOVE IT.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
"Chew baby, chew"
"Chew baby, chew"
davey-boy
+0 -0
Showbiz is a cat of constant sorrow.
Showbiz is a cat of constant sorrow.
loneal
+0 -0
He also has a soggy bottom.
He also has a soggy bottom.
odei
+0 -0
What is a soggy bottom, if not constant sorrow?
What is a soggy bottom, if not constant sorrow?
hamscout
+0 -0
He's in a tight spot!
He's in a tight spot!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
That movie epitomized the idea of constant sorrow.
That movie epitomized the idea of constant sorrow.
odei
+0 -0
No, I have no idea what anyone is referencing here. I hope I didn't make myself look silly.
No, I have no idea what anyone is referencing here. I hope I didn't make myself look silly.
science
+1 -0
Anybody else see Achewood on Techcrunch ?
https://www.techcrunch.com/2008/06/18/powerset-unveils-iphone-optimized-wikipedia-search/
The video isn't really watchable but fully 2/3's of the Powerset Iphone demo features Achewood. Props. Props.
Anybody else see Achewood on Techcrunch ?
https://www.techcrunch.com/2008/06/18/powerset-unveils-iphone-optimized-wikipedia-search/
The video isn't really watchable but fully 2/3's of the Powerset Iphone demo features Achewood. Props. Props.
molesticide
+0 -0
the juxtaposition of your avatar with your name made me laugh.
now THAT'S something i can get off to (both things).
the juxtaposition of your avatar with your name made me laugh.
now THAT'S something i can get off to (both things).
science
+1 -0
Yes, see, here it is:
[IMGS OFF]
Yes, see, here it is:
[IMGS OFF]
jaspers
+1 -0
At least Showbiz puts hard work into something .
Look at him. He's the Kobe Bryant of getting himself off.
At least Showbiz puts hard work into something .
Look at him. He's the Kobe Bryant of getting himself off.
brian
+0 -0
Trying to run Roast Beef (Shaq) out of town by fooling him into banging a stripper in Acapulco (Phil Jackson) so he can become the NBA's leading scorer (Showbiz's cashflow) is a brilliant Machiavellian gambit.
Trying to run Roast Beef (Shaq) out of town by fooling him into banging a stripper in Acapulco (Phil Jackson) so he can become the NBA's leading scorer (Showbiz's cashflow) is a brilliant Machiavellian gambit.
jaspers
+3 -0
Phil Jackson picking a five dollar bill out of your mouth, with his vagina
Phil Jackson picking a five dollar bill out of your mouth, with his vagina
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Botching it when it counts?
Botching it when it counts?
jaspers
+0 -0
For him it only counts when he finds his stroke and the camera is watching.
For him it only counts when he finds his stroke and the camera is watching.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'm having the asshole's remorse here. Can I redo this and make it a rape joke instead? I think a rape joke would be much funnier than some predictable sports thing.
I'm having the asshole's remorse here. Can I redo this and make it a rape joke instead? I think a rape joke would be much funnier than some predictable sports thing.
jaspers
+0 -0
I do not give a shit so long as Kobe Bryant is being derided. After all, he is arrogant and he may have raped. I don't care how many snake-pits he has jumped over in a commercial so that he can dunk, that's just reprehensible.
I do not give a shit so long as Kobe Bryant is being derided. After all, he is arrogant and he may have raped. I don't care how many snake-pits he has jumped over in a commercial so that he can dunk, that's just reprehensible.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Kobe may have raped, and Kobe got raped by the Celtics.
I think the circle is complete.
Kobe may have raped, and Kobe got raped by the Celtics.
I think the circle is complete.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
No.
No.
falseprophet
+1 -0
Agreed. It is only okay to rape someone when you are damn sure .
Agreed. It is only okay to rape someone when you are damn sure .
jaspers
+0 -0
Chubby for helping me give myself an insight.
If I want to ever get laid, I have to stop accidentally condoning rape.
Chubby for helping me give myself an insight.
If I want to ever get laid, I have to stop accidentally condoning rape.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Or condone it fully. That's sure to get you laid. There is no in between
Or condone it fully. That's sure to get you laid. There is no in between
jaspers
+1 -0
Terror-laid
Terror-laid
molesticide
+0 -0
an excellent term that needs to be immediately submitted to oxford.
an excellent term that needs to be immediately submitted to oxford.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If only we knew someone doing a semester a Oxford that thinks rape is hilarious
If only we knew someone doing a semester a Oxford that thinks rape is hilarious
molesticide
+0 -0
all we need to know is somebody doing a semester at oxford. the rest takes care of itself.
all we need to know is somebody doing a semester at oxford. the rest takes care of itself.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Debbie Does Oxford
Debbie Does Oxford
loneal
+0 -0
Oh hedonismbot, you card.
Oh hedonismbot, you card.
pogo
+0 -0
Is this the line for raping the Yankee woman who laughs?
Is this the line for raping the Yankee woman who laughs?
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
"Keith F" is so called because Showbiz has five friends named Keith. Coincidentally, he has zero friends not named Keith.
"Keith F" is so called because Showbiz has five friends named Keith. Coincidentally, he has zero friends not named Keith.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Keith A
Keith B
Keith C
Keith F
Keith, uh, J I think. What comes after F?
Keith A
Keith B
Keith C
Keith F
Keith, uh, J I think. What comes after F?
androo
+0 -0
I really wanna punch showbiz in the face man i dunno
I really wanna punch showbiz in the face man i dunno
helloftubby
+0 -0
Man someone actually pulled that soap camera shit in the halls at my uni. IT WAS NATIONAL NEWS PEOPLE! (In the UK)
Man someone actually pulled that soap camera shit in the halls at my uni. IT WAS NATIONAL NEWS PEOPLE! (In the UK)
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Seriously? I never heard about that.
Seriously? I never heard about that.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Someone's underselling the BBC, I think.
"It's a veritable "Star Wars", here at the University of Warwick! Or at least, this perverted student made use of a hidden camera! Those offended by amateur pornography may wish to leave the room."
Someone's underselling the BBC, I think.
"It's a veritable "Star Wars", here at the University of Warwick! Or at least, this perverted student made use of a hidden camera! Those offended by amateur pornography may wish to leave the room."
spesimen
+0 -0
ahh, the ol' squinty-one-eye-double-australian-jackhammer technique. never lets a man down.
ahh, the ol' squinty-one-eye-double-australian-jackhammer technique. never lets a man down.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Kitty!
Kitty!
cousinted
+0 -0
Wow, Showbiz is like the waste secreted by the scum of the world.
Wow, Showbiz is like the waste secreted by the scum of the world.
falseprophet
+2 -0
Okay this is fuckin weird. I update to Firefox 3 and now not only does the avicon/comment alignment look shady, but when I mouseover an avicon, it either won't load, won't go away, or it shows somebody else's avicon, and sometimes it's even an older avicon.
Or maybe Firefox 3 can see the truth: edwell is really autrepoupee!
Firefox 3: Hecho en Mexico?
Okay this is fuckin weird. I update to Firefox 3 and now not only does the avicon/comment alignment look shady, but when I mouseover an avicon, it either won't load, won't go away, or it shows somebody else's avicon, and sometimes it's even an older avicon.
Or maybe Firefox 3 can see the truth: edwell is really autrepoupee!
Firefox 3: Hecho en Mexico?
stereo
+0 -0
Assetbar reveals a man's true ability to use arbitrary markup languages flawlessly.
I didn't even realize there was contention over the alignment of avicon/comment until yesterday's strip; now I have to wonder which was intended. Opera always puts the comment below the icon, apparently Firefox puts it beside (or did at some point in time).
Assetbar reveals a man's true ability to use arbitrary markup languages flawlessly.
I didn't even realize there was contention over the alignment of avicon/comment until yesterday's strip; now I have to wonder which was intended. Opera always puts the comment below the icon, apparently Firefox puts it beside (or did at some point in time).
maximus
+0 -0
The Improbability Scripting Engine (ISE) is the radically new, proprietary technology sets Firefox 3 apart from all other browser.
We're ready for Web 3.0 - are you?
The Improbability Scripting Engine (ISE) is the radically new, proprietary technology sets Firefox 3 apart from all other browser.
We're ready for Web 3.0 - are you?
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I am going to go ahead and take credit for being edwell, then.
Don't deny it, me. Firefox 3 has outed we.
I am going to go ahead and take credit for being edwell, then.
Don't deny it, me. Firefox 3 has outed we.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Mine says you are NYU so...
Mine says you are NYU so...
nyu
+2 -0
This was foretold in 2004: [url=https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D10052004]
This was foretold in 2004: [url=https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D10052004]
nyu
+1 -0
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D10052004
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=https%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D10052004
nyu
+1 -0
Fuck it, October 5, 2004. There. Thats the comic im trying to link to. There it is. Enjoy it. Assbar.
Fuck it, October 5, 2004. There. Thats the comic im trying to link to. There it is. Enjoy it. Assbar.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't know why, but your perpetual failure with bbc code and assetbar, resulting in your frustrated final post, brightened my day.
Basically what I'm saying is that I'm blowing all my chubbies on you.
I don't know why, but your perpetual failure with bbc code and assetbar, resulting in your frustrated final post, brightened my day.
Basically what I'm saying is that I'm blowing all my chubbies on you.
_____________
+0 -0
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
gladi8orrex
+232 -0
dat cats pritty cute i hav a cat she is almost 18 she dossent have mush loingar to live. i love ma kitty i'll miss her
dat cats pritty cute i hav a cat she is almost 18 she dossent have mush loingar to live. i love ma kitty i'll miss her
foea
+0 -0
Grown men do cry, glad.
Grown men do cry, glad.
____________
+0 -1
dude yeah man that is suxor I made [url="https://midconet.net/achewoodtest/cowboy2s.WAV"]a song for your kitty[/url] i posted it tomorrow already bit I wat to post it here too i love you gladi8orrex and your kitty too.
dude yeah man that is suxor I made [url="https://midconet.net/achewoodtest/cowboy2s.WAV"]a song for your kitty[/url] i posted it tomorrow already bit I wat to post it here too i love you gladi8orrex and your kitty too.
____________
+0 -2
JESUS FUCK ASS ETBAR I"M TRYING TO BE NICE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!
[url="https://midconet.net/achewoodtest/cowboy2s.WAV"]a song for your kitty[/url]
JESUS FUCK ASS ETBAR I"M TRYING TO BE NICE WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!
[url="https://midconet.net/achewoodtest/cowboy2s.WAV"]a song for your kitty[/url]
____________
+0 -1
F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K
.
a song for your kitty
F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K F-U-C-K
.
a song for your kitty
____________
+0 -1
finally! God!
finally! God!
gladi8orrex
+198 -0
thunks 4 da lovelery song
thunks 4 da lovelery song
comrade_tom
+0 -0
seriously
quit being a dick.
seriously
quit being a dick.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Is the first panel the first time anyone has used a derogatory term towards a female in this comic? I find it slightly shocking.
Is the first panel the first time anyone has used a derogatory term towards a female in this comic? I find it slightly shocking.
loneal
+1 -0
It is endearing that you find it shocking, but in the future, you should remember that bitches gotta take their cunt pills.
It is endearing that you find it shocking, but in the future, you should remember that bitches gotta take their cunt pills.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
For they are nothing but clear pieces of plastic that make screaming noises and have a middle from which the smells spew forth.
For they are nothing but clear pieces of plastic that make screaming noises and have a middle from which the smells spew forth.
gladi8orrex
+209 -0
lol paraphrased
lol paraphrased
kaz
+0 -0
amazing
amazing
dj_douche
+0 -0
Showbiz thinks that the way to get Roast Beef to keep giving him money is to trick him and then ruin his wedding. What a dick.
Showbiz thinks that the way to get Roast Beef to keep giving him money is to trick him and then ruin his wedding. What a dick.
tragicone
+0 -0
Man, fuck showbiz.
What a ten-point ass.
Man, fuck showbiz.
What a ten-point ass.
I like the well-toned rage in Roast Beef's arms.
A comment left by keir was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Norsef, lamboyster, Thorfinn, sean1058, c_dizzle, schadenfreude87, TwoRightFeet, rechelon, cmjhogan, snitchy, ActualTaunt, NDCaesar, Conn, milkpants, MortisInvictus, blueshoc12, d3athcann0n, shades, lateadopter, harry, joebot, Doc_Rostov, Wolfslice, NumberKillinger, Fathington, hardelicious, morbo)
i suspect that "jinkety-assed" may be from the same source.
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, chagment, snowman, chivalress, shammack, fancypants, clembot)
Um. I don't think Roast Beef or Showbiz are having any trouble with their "stuffed animal heritage", seeing as they're... not... stuffed animals.
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Pascal, blastradius, sean1058, Gabalfa, ummagumma, falseprophet, whoper, milkpants, Helter, caduceo, Cracklewater, greatwhite, scudmissile, Exystence, kharitonov, Tragic_Johnson, charchar, hawaiian_robot, Wolfslice, Ghede, Tolth)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, tibcoolbreeze, LiquidCruelty)
A comment left by gowerski was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mollywap, shaggy23, Ghede)
good for you honey bunch <3
I see you've run out of erotic fiction
I thought that read "friction."
oh dear...
the woes of running out of erotic friction..
In Manflesh's case, is one not the same as the other?
manflesh, my love, where the fuck do you find such great avatars?
That one is from the popular TV series 'Star Trek Voyager' and his previous one was from a slightly more obscure source - part of an erotic drawing by the artist 'Tom of Finland'. Such images can be found on 'Google Image Search'!
!
Someone edited manflesh's post!
Comment left by _____________ ignored.
I like the well-toned exstacy in Showbiz's thigh.
that is actually the face of someone feeling soap burn.
You never jack off with soap as the lube... no matter how slippery it is. You think "oh this makes sense, it should be awesome"
Then three minutes later, you start to feel this burn... this terrible burning and IT WON"T STOP.
Fuck I thought I was the only one. It's like someone poured oven cleaner down my urethra
HAH. Mr. Lostman speaks the truth. Soap is not good lube.
Word and a chubby for this comment. Soap is NOT OK on your chubby. See also: humping in a chlorinated swimming pool (don't ask).
Conditioner works quite nicely, as it is basically just lotion for your hair, so it moisturizes and prevents the burning caused by soap, or so I've heard.
Or so you've heard.
the soap is hella harsh on your privates and causes all sorts of undesirable things such as very dry skin. Continued use of soap leads to a condition colloquially known as "lizard cock".
I recommend regrowing your foreskin (using weights) to negate the barbaric US practice of male genital mutilation.
The amazing thing about a foreskin is that it negates the need for any lube.
I was always a bit mystified by the references to lube-aided jackin off that are so common in US culture (and quite rare in other English-speaking wank-o-centric cultures).
It seemed like a strange anomaly until I remembered that the US is probably the last industrialised nation that still hacks its baby boys for non-religious reasons.
Weird. The hygiene thing kinda falls flat in countries with running water...
I guess y'all DO clearly need your cocks snipped in order to make masturbation more difficult. Maybe unfettered masturbation was once seen as a drag on national productivity?
Or it might be one of those darn business conspiracies, with the ZOG all in bed with the corporate-fascist lube manufacturers.
An odd choice, tossing around 'ZOG' and 'fascist' in the same sentence, no?
Maybe ... if you believe the 'ZOG' to be a real thing.
If, on the other hand you think that such ideas are the preserve of nutters and ignoramuses, then it's fun and easy to mix n match conspiracy rantings.
Kinda like the Commie-Nazis in the Simpsons (not that I'm claiming that either of those two are figments of the imagination).
Perhaps we can combine creative forces and design a new Saturday morning cartoon for impressionable children:
It's... The Adventures of Vladimir Godson, The Christ-Loving Marxist!
Thrill!...as he recognizes the world-historical dialectical movement toward the classless society in the cherubic folds of Jesus' downy beard!
Learn!...about the appropriation of the surplus value of the proletariat's labour power by the bourgeoisie through the fable of the Good Samaritan!
Fancy!...the science-fictional philosophic watershed that is Karl Marx and Friedrich Nietzsche resurrected, singing a duet of "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" while passing the collection plate 'round to the proletarians of the world, united!
His thigh looks a lot like Beef's left arm, only bigger and with more detail.
Showbiz, I'd like to introduce you to Roast Beef's hog. You are about to become well-acquainted.
We have some calves (baby cows, not leg parts) at work that do that. Brother on brother action. Weird, right?
If by weird you mean AWESOME.
Ethel, I have some images that I'd like you to see...
If you are serious, I want to hear more about these calves that fellate each other.
Much more .
Man the assetbroads on here are seriously filthy upon the mind. I've never been so happy.
Oh stop--you're going to make me blush.
TWINCEST