this_is_a_thing
+0 -0
I would do the same thing.
I would do the same thing.
ariela
+6 -0
Grizzly bear.
Grizzly bear.
neonaoneo
+5 -0
If you brand his skin with one of George Lucas' properties he becomes Cornelius Banner.
If you brand his skin with one of George Lucas' properties he becomes Cornelius Banner.
skoora
+25 -2
DUTCH FUGUE
DUTCH FUGUE
lhmatt
+4 -1
The Fugue is strong with you my son.
The Fugue is strong with you my son.
bjorntd
+5 -0
Man, he ain't in a fugue. He's berserk. That's like comparing a lunatic to a pissed man with goals.
Man, he ain't in a fugue. He's berserk. That's like comparing a lunatic to a pissed man with goals.
spinynorman
+30 -1
Somewhere, Nolan is subscribing to Geriatric Bears Attacking Their Own Flabby Chests Upon Which a Pop Culture Reference Has Been Inscribed.
...
.com.
Somewhere, Nolan is subscribing to Geriatric Bears Attacking Their Own Flabby Chests Upon Which a Pop Culture Reference Has Been Inscribed.
...
.com.
vorrishnikov
+4 -0
No, I'm pretty sure that Nolan's too preoccupied with his current relationship to care about this.
No, I'm pretty sure that Nolan's too preoccupied with his current relationship to care about this.
vorrishnikov
+49 -0
What? Oh. His death relationship.
What? Oh. His death relationship.
miku224
+0 -0
A comment left by miku224 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pjalne, ishuta, Thorfinn, LuganD9)
A comment left by miku224 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by pjalne, ishuta, Thorfinn, LuganD9)
dino_grill
+0 -0
major points for making me second-guess my initial interpretation that six words were written about heroin, and not a night of southern comfort as it would now seem
major points for making me second-guess my initial interpretation that six words were written about heroin, and not a night of southern comfort as it would now seem
semiquaver
+4 -0
The sight of Connie trying to remove his man-breasts wit h his bare paws and beating his chest with a loafer will remain, indelible, until such time as Onstad chooses to end my torment.
The sight of Connie trying to remove his man-breasts wit h his bare paws and beating his chest with a loafer will remain, indelible, until such time as Onstad chooses to end my torment.
robangry
+23 -0
bear paws
bear paws
saint
+1 -0
...and not the snack food.
it's okay...you can lame me for it. I don't mind.
...and not the snack food.
it's okay...you can lame me for it. I don't mind.
spinynorman
+2 -0
God, his mouth... Each time the loafer comes down his mouth is like a nightmare ...
There is something awful about adding human features to bears. Bears with human mouths just should not happen , Mr. Onstad.
God, his mouth... Each time the loafer comes down his mouth is like a nightmare ...
There is something awful about adding human features to bears. Bears with human mouths just should not happen , Mr. Onstad.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Error: Not a valid date.
Error: Not a valid date.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Oh, fuck you BBcode, I hate you to death
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042006
Oh, fuck you BBcode, I hate you to death
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=01042006
abbazaba
+0 -0
it surprises me that Cornelius Bear's penny loafers do not, in fact, hold a penny.
also, that grimace will haunt me.
it surprises me that Cornelius Bear's penny loafers do not, in fact, hold a penny.
also, that grimace will haunt me.
silver_lake
+5 -0
You know he's got two ducats and a Susan B. Anthony in the heel.
You know he's got two ducats and a Susan B. Anthony in the heel.
quartzblade
+0 -0
oh god :[
oh god :[
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
The sight of Cornelius losing his cool depresses me, yet is still Badass. (Though in a less Cornelius way)
The sight of Cornelius losing his cool depresses me, yet is still Badass. (Though in a less Cornelius way)
mendenbar
+9 -1
Did anyone else have the star wars theme going through their heads while reading this one?
Daaa da da da dum (krash!), da da da daaa dum (rrraaggghhh!), da da da daaaa dum(swipe!), da da da dumm (slap!)
Did anyone else have the star wars theme going through their heads while reading this one?
Daaa da da da dum (krash!), da da da daaa dum (rrraaggghhh!), da da da daaaa dum(swipe!), da da da dumm (slap!)
jalapenoenema
+5 -1
No, the Imperial March
No, the Imperial March
baryonyx
+1 -0
Cornelius is certainly giving in to his anger, yes. Which leads to hate, which leads to jealousy, which leads to anger again...or...something something...I think the last one is suffering?
Cornelius is certainly giving in to his anger, yes. Which leads to hate, which leads to jealousy, which leads to anger again...or...something something...I think the last one is suffering?
ashoykh
+1 -0
i was reading that as 'ride of the valkyries'...
i was reading that as 'ride of the valkyries'...
irreverend
+0 -0
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, the humanity!
thatcrazycommie
+50 -0
The ursinity?
The ursinity?
zoom
+0 -0
good call.
good call.
grayestnova
+5 -0
I'm going to read this again in the morning, and perhaps it will frighten me less then.
I'm going to read this again in the morning, and perhaps it will frighten me less then.
baryonyx
+1 -0
There are few days I quail before my computer monitor. This appears to be one of them.
There are few days I quail before my computer monitor. This appears to be one of them.
fjak
+0 -0
the worst tattoo.
the worst tattoo.
buttermoths
+0 -0
A comment left by buttermoths was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, Steerpike66, ghoti)
A comment left by buttermoths was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, Steerpike66, ghoti)
soilentshuggah
+0 -0
I wonder what would he do if he found out that there is a Acid Bath tattoo on his chest instead of a Star Wars one.
I wonder what would he do if he found out that there is a Acid Bath tattoo on his chest instead of a Star Wars one.
bartleby
+1 -0
I'd be impressed if I found a tattoo artist who could flawlessly translate John Wayne Gacy's artistic style.
I'd be impressed if I found a tattoo artist who could flawlessly translate John Wayne Gacy's artistic style.
koodge
+0 -0
When the ugliest, old-bear tits stretch, the worst tattoo doesn't stretch with them. That's why he's using a penny loafer? To do... to... hit them?
When the ugliest, old-bear tits stretch, the worst tattoo doesn't stretch with them. That's why he's using a penny loafer? To do... to... hit them?
williadc
+2 -0
You just had to make me load up "Harvest" didn't you?!?!
You just had to make me load up "Harvest" didn't you?!?!
rotating-dog
+1 -0
I have been tracking this. Achewood and Neil Young, a Curious Synergy. (Sem 2, 17pts.) From the man who brought you "Demo" and "Hummer" , it's finally the original. Further bulletins as titles warrant.
I have been tracking this. Achewood and Neil Young, a Curious Synergy. (Sem 2, 17pts.) From the man who brought you "Demo" and "Hummer" , it's finally the original. Further bulletins as titles warrant.
powderfinger
+0 -0
i'd go with Live Rust myself all with the weird woodstock intro and the "MY GUITAR MY GUITAR". but i can't blame a man for picking the original
i'd go with Live Rust myself all with the weird woodstock intro and the "MY GUITAR MY GUITAR". but i can't blame a man for picking the original
duskbringer
+0 -0
hahahaha JESUS
hahahaha JESUS
astro_zombie
+7 -0
We are not meant to see this. We're just not.
We are not meant to see this. We're just not.
robybeef
+1 -2
god i wonder how hard onstad worked on that painful expression in the last panel, it's too good.
god i wonder how hard onstad worked on that painful expression in the last panel, it's too good.
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, pkitty, Brody, chochacho, Qeramah, lamelliform, Khabuem, RitardoMontabum, catgrl131, mania3, tinyneutrino, DrSkradley, vodkavonstroheim, Baryonyx, proof_man, voxelnaut, HurfusDurfus)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, pkitty, Brody, chochacho, Qeramah, lamelliform, Khabuem, RitardoMontabum, catgrl131, mania3, tinyneutrino, DrSkradley, vodkavonstroheim, Baryonyx, proof_man, voxelnaut, HurfusDurfus)
khailautomatic
+8 -1
Right, because Achewood is clearly meant to be exclusively highbrow content.
Teodor's dick would like to have a word with you
Right, because Achewood is clearly meant to be exclusively highbrow content.
Teodor's dick would like to have a word with you
lateadopter
+0 -0
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, wittyname, Sortelli)
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, wittyname, Sortelli)
fineoakstructure
+0 -1
Well, even a semi-reasonable person has the right to tell you to fuck off after you've basically called yourself royalty and painted them as lower than dogs.
I say, steady on, there, lateadopter.
Well, even a semi-reasonable person has the right to tell you to fuck off after you've basically called yourself royalty and painted them as lower than dogs.
I say, steady on, there, lateadopter.
sortelli
+8 -0
I still like Achewood.
It's all you ridiculous douchebags posting the stupidest goddamn crap possible over and over again that bring me down. KOODGE KOODGE GULP GULP GOOD SIR HAVE A LAME. Let's all talk like Roast Beef and link to an older comic on this same site, quick! i am straight up cold out of chubbies dogg For that reason alone, the trolls are my favorite posters here.
Assetbar needs to be put down like a stray dog. This comic has fleas.
I still like Achewood.
It's all you ridiculous douchebags posting the stupidest goddamn crap possible over and over again that bring me down. KOODGE KOODGE GULP GULP GOOD SIR HAVE A LAME. Let's all talk like Roast Beef and link to an older comic on this same site, quick! i am straight up cold out of chubbies dogg For that reason alone, the trolls are my favorite posters here.
Assetbar needs to be put down like a stray dog. This comic has fleas.
wittyname
+1 -1
I know I've been guilty of the "out of chubbies" comments but they are getting a little out of hand. I count 10 on this page alone...
Admittedly, I find that sometimes the comments are generally just as funny the comic itself. But a lot of the time there is a lot of the same thing going round.
This post will probably get lamed like the post before mine. I just hope I didn't come across as an ass.
I know I've been guilty of the "out of chubbies" comments but they are getting a little out of hand. I count 10 on this page alone...
Admittedly, I find that sometimes the comments are generally just as funny the comic itself. But a lot of the time there is a lot of the same thing going round.
This post will probably get lamed like the post before mine. I just hope I didn't come across as an ass.
sortelli
+0 -0
I was completely trying to come across as an ass, myself. I don't care if I'm lamed. At the end of the day, rating each other's comments is -silly-
Still, thanks for not dumping on me straight out of the gate. I'm probably being too harsh on the place. There are some funny things down here.
I was completely trying to come across as an ass, myself. I don't care if I'm lamed. At the end of the day, rating each other's comments is -silly-
Still, thanks for not dumping on me straight out of the gate. I'm probably being too harsh on the place. There are some funny things down here.
lateadopter
+0 -1
I guess my dream came true, but really I only wanted to be an extra.
fineoakstructure: Your reading of my metaphor is poor. They are not dogs, I am not royalty. They are the snot-dropping courtier; the Queen is Acheworld (the community of readers, not the comic strip or Onstad); the people who give them lames are the corgis peeing on their legs. I am another courtier, but I pluck my nose-hairs most of the time.
sortelli: You can like trolls if you want. Those other trolls keep asking why they get lamed; I was answering. Okay, my bad. Trolls just want to stir up trouble by definition. As for the rest of it, I referred to an older comment as evidence for my argument, and I wrote "in Achewood style" as an example of what I was trying to explain to those other trolls. "Show, don't tell" is generally considered good writing style and good pedagogy, but as you well know, I only wrote that way because I'm a dick.
wittyname: I guess you're agreeing with sortelli? If you hadn't lamed my comment, it would be impossible to tell what side you're on. Nice job.
I guess my dream came true, but really I only wanted to be an extra.
fineoakstructure: Your reading of my metaphor is poor. They are not dogs, I am not royalty. They are the snot-dropping courtier; the Queen is Acheworld (the community of readers, not the comic strip or Onstad); the people who give them lames are the corgis peeing on their legs. I am another courtier, but I pluck my nose-hairs most of the time.
sortelli: You can like trolls if you want. Those other trolls keep asking why they get lamed; I was answering. Okay, my bad. Trolls just want to stir up trouble by definition. As for the rest of it, I referred to an older comment as evidence for my argument, and I wrote "in Achewood style" as an example of what I was trying to explain to those other trolls. "Show, don't tell" is generally considered good writing style and good pedagogy, but as you well know, I only wrote that way because I'm a dick.
wittyname: I guess you're agreeing with sortelli? If you hadn't lamed my comment, it would be impossible to tell what side you're on. Nice job.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
lateadopter: no, your metaphor was asinine and pompous, and your reading of my comment was poor.
I did not say you called them "dogs," I said "lower than dogs," kind of like a snot-dropping courtier might be considered; it was not a reference to your corgi comment.
It's obvious the "Queen" was supposed to be the Acheworld community, but the choice of metaphor is not too well veiled: by placing yourself in said perceived community, and giving it such a ridiculous status, you give off the airs of someone who thinks of himself on such a level compared to "trolls." I would hope this isn't the case.
lateadopter: no, your metaphor was asinine and pompous, and your reading of my comment was poor.
I did not say you called them "dogs," I said "lower than dogs," kind of like a snot-dropping courtier might be considered; it was not a reference to your corgi comment.
It's obvious the "Queen" was supposed to be the Acheworld community, but the choice of metaphor is not too well veiled: by placing yourself in said perceived community, and giving it such a ridiculous status, you give off the airs of someone who thinks of himself on such a level compared to "trolls." I would hope this isn't the case.
lateadopter
+0 -0
The words you are putting in my mouth are so much better than what I could offer. Why don't you keep them?
The words you are putting in my mouth are so much better than what I could offer. Why don't you keep them?
fineoakstructure
+0 -1
Get down off the cross, lateadopter.
If you don't want your metaphors to be mistaken for elitism, then don't use a word like "queen" as a substitute for the community you feel to which you feel a part, and people "with dog shit on [their] shoes" as a substitute for the people who disagree with you.
Can't imagine how I misread that.
Get down off the cross, lateadopter.
If you don't want your metaphors to be mistaken for elitism, then don't use a word like "queen" as a substitute for the community you feel to which you feel a part, and people "with dog shit on [their] shoes" as a substitute for the people who disagree with you.
Can't imagine how I misread that.
lateadopter
+0 -0
What you refuse to acknowledge is that you are a member of the community, as are the trolls in question. I am not placing myself above anyone by referring to the community metaphorically; I'm part of the same group.
What could I have used instead of "Queen?" President, Pope, tribal chieftain, who cares? The metaphor called for a title that everyone could recognize as "someone to whom one should show respect, following established forms of speech and behavior." I don't like the President or the Pope, and I don't know what pets a tribal chieftain might have that could pee on a person's leg, so it had to be the Queen.
What you refuse to acknowledge is that you are a member of the community, as are the trolls in question. I am not placing myself above anyone by referring to the community metaphorically; I'm part of the same group.
What could I have used instead of "Queen?" President, Pope, tribal chieftain, who cares? The metaphor called for a title that everyone could recognize as "someone to whom one should show respect, following established forms of speech and behavior." I don't like the President or the Pope, and I don't know what pets a tribal chieftain might have that could pee on a person's leg, so it had to be the Queen.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I don't refuse to acknowledge that I'm part of this community: I can't, I'm posting here. I just think referring to this group as something like a queen to be veering towards elitist hyperbole, which is probably not the best way to settle down a "troll." I know you weren't trying to call yourself some kind of king of the boards; my point was that when you give this community a, quite frankly, undeservedly high status, it might seem to such trolls, etc. that you thinking of yourself to be of such high status.
I dunno, maybe next time refer to it not as a queen but your grandfather who fought in WWII or something. Remember, as much as I like to think Onstad is one of the finest minds of his generation, this ultimately a bunch of people posting about what cartoon cats are doing.
I don't refuse to acknowledge that I'm part of this community: I can't, I'm posting here. I just think referring to this group as something like a queen to be veering towards elitist hyperbole, which is probably not the best way to settle down a "troll." I know you weren't trying to call yourself some kind of king of the boards; my point was that when you give this community a, quite frankly, undeservedly high status, it might seem to such trolls, etc. that you thinking of yourself to be of such high status.
I dunno, maybe next time refer to it not as a queen but your grandfather who fought in WWII or something. Remember, as much as I like to think Onstad is one of the finest minds of his generation, this ultimately a bunch of people posting about what cartoon cats are doing.
saint
+0 -0
lame. lame. more lame. lamer than I care to discuss.
why? because it keeps going.
lame. lame. more lame. lamer than I care to discuss.
why? because it keeps going.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
actually, it would appear to have ended, as the last post was 5 days ago. Though, of course, you've just made it even longer, congrats!
And don't act like you've never taken part in these kind of stupid, lengthy discussions here on Acheworld, saint.
actually, it would appear to have ended, as the last post was 5 days ago. Though, of course, you've just made it even longer, congrats!
And don't act like you've never taken part in these kind of stupid, lengthy discussions here on Acheworld, saint.
jackparsons
+0 -0
All right, y'got me. Oscar Wilde?
All right, y'got me. Oscar Wilde?
wittyname
+0 -1
Thank you.
Thank you.
saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, Bourbonsamurai, Axhoola, Zem, nutmeg, Hexjumper, BjorntD, anitrophaeron, shounenhero)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by HonestTom, Bourbonsamurai, Axhoola, Zem, nutmeg, Hexjumper, BjorntD, anitrophaeron, shounenhero)
saint
+0 -1
HA! My conquest of lames continues!
You can't crush my spirit.
HA! My conquest of lames continues!
You can't crush my spirit.
jesler729
+1 -1
Holy dang, I can not believe people are complaining about Achewood's quality lately. The last few weeks have been FANTASTIC. I mean, even just looking at the ratings, half of the last 10 comics are rated 4.5 or higher. That is pretty decent if you ask me.
Holy dang, I can not believe people are complaining about Achewood's quality lately. The last few weeks have been FANTASTIC. I mean, even just looking at the ratings, half of the last 10 comics are rated 4.5 or higher. That is pretty decent if you ask me.
flash1087
+0 -0
Screw the Internet, man, they don't know anything. I don't think there's been a bad Achewood since I started reading.
you know, all the way back in August.
Screw the Internet, man, they don't know anything. I don't think there's been a bad Achewood since I started reading.
you know, all the way back in August.
jamers
+1 -0
Cornelius has yet to come to terms with his unfortunate drunken outing.
Cornelius has yet to come to terms with his unfortunate drunken outing.
pkitty
+6 -0
Okay, everyone just take a step back... and realize that for dozens of people who've heard about how awesome Achewood is and come to visit the website today... this will be their first exposure to Achewood.
Think they'll keep reading?
(Please note that this is neither a sarcastic nor rhetorical question.)
Okay, everyone just take a step back... and realize that for dozens of people who've heard about how awesome Achewood is and come to visit the website today... this will be their first exposure to Achewood.
Think they'll keep reading?
(Please note that this is neither a sarcastic nor rhetorical question.)
pebohead
+0 -0
yes, if they dont they need to remove the stick from their rump.
yes, if they dont they need to remove the stick from their rump.
halfdirt
+0 -0
No. This one does not reward newcomers. This site is full of stories of people showing Achewood to friends with and without success. It has to catch you right. There are simply better introductory strips.
No. This one does not reward newcomers. This site is full of stories of people showing Achewood to friends with and without success. It has to catch you right. There are simply better introductory strips.
buttermoths
+4 -1
You don't think they'd be at least a LITTLE intrigued as to why the old, bespectacled bear is crying and slapping his Star Wars tattoo with the most painful part of the loafer?
I know I would.
My first arc was Cartilage Head, dammit. And it got me hooked.
You don't think they'd be at least a LITTLE intrigued as to why the old, bespectacled bear is crying and slapping his Star Wars tattoo with the most painful part of the loafer?
I know I would.
My first arc was Cartilage Head, dammit. And it got me hooked.
unfun
+10 -0
Who cares one way or the other whether they keep reading? If this is someone's first Achewood, that's awesome . I hope they're totally bewildered and traumatized.
Who cares one way or the other whether they keep reading? If this is someone's first Achewood, that's awesome . I hope they're totally bewildered and traumatized.
vodkavonstroheim
+1 -0
I have to agree that I'd be very curious about this strip, if it was my first. Also, if someone judges the quality of the entire comic on one single strip and decides never to look at any more ever again, well, Achewood doesn't NEED folks like that!
I have to agree that I'd be very curious about this strip, if it was my first. Also, if someone judges the quality of the entire comic on one single strip and decides never to look at any more ever again, well, Achewood doesn't NEED folks like that!
semiquaver
+0 -0
Is that Peter Lorre?
Is that Peter Lorre?
semiquaver
+1 -0
Sorry. I was just imagining Casablanca-era Lorre purring your comment and it was amusing me muchly.
Sorry. I was just imagining Casablanca-era Lorre purring your comment and it was amusing me muchly.
nbeer
+0 -0
This is a really interesting way to think about past & future strips: "If this were your first Achewood, would you...?"
I wonder if it's those difficult introductory strips that really make an Achewood fan...someone with more time & energy should sift through the archives to create a definitive scale (perhaps entitled "The Drum Machine Manual Litmus Test"?) ranging from "most accessible" to "least accessible."
This is a really interesting way to think about past & future strips: "If this were your first Achewood, would you...?"
I wonder if it's those difficult introductory strips that really make an Achewood fan...someone with more time & energy should sift through the archives to create a definitive scale (perhaps entitled "The Drum Machine Manual Litmus Test"?) ranging from "most accessible" to "least accessible."
blarghamagarky
+1 -1
It's one of those things that you probably can't appreciate until you're older, (or a more experienced achewood reader) like meeting Bob Dylan when you're 7.
It's one of those things that you probably can't appreciate until you're older, (or a more experienced achewood reader) like meeting Bob Dylan when you're 7.
evolume
+0 -0
funny you should mention... i've been e-mailing these star wars tattoo comix to my non-achewood reading friends.
funny you should mention... i've been e-mailing these star wars tattoo comix to my non-achewood reading friends.
leatherpants
+2 -0
Think of it this way:
If you were walking down the street and saw a bum screaming at a clown holding a pie, would you stop and keep watching?
I think people read more especially if they see a comic and are like "why the fuck is that bear hitting himself with a loafer?"
Think of it this way:
If you were walking down the street and saw a bum screaming at a clown holding a pie, would you stop and keep watching?
I think people read more especially if they see a comic and are like "why the fuck is that bear hitting himself with a loafer?"
ford
+7 -2
Damn dude, i actually feel sort of like Onstad is intruding on his own character just by drawing this.
That is the power of this image.
Damn dude, i actually feel sort of like Onstad is intruding on his own character just by drawing this.
That is the power of this image.
aaron_haynes
+2 -0
The past two comics are the most terrifying thing.
The past two comics are the most terrifying thing.
balvo
+4 -0
I think Cornelius is just expressing the five stages of grief: denial (yesterday), anger (today), bargaining (begging Ray for laser surgery tomorrow), depression, and finally, acceptance. Connie is enough of a bad ass to accept mistakes that he can not change.
Also, the title for this strip is spot-on perfect.
I think Cornelius is just expressing the five stages of grief: denial (yesterday), anger (today), bargaining (begging Ray for laser surgery tomorrow), depression, and finally, acceptance. Connie is enough of a bad ass to accept mistakes that he can not change.
Also, the title for this strip is spot-on perfect.
neitherman
+0 -0
Aww hell, out of chubbies! Oh well, a comment is the next best thing to reward this bit of introspection.
Aww hell, out of chubbies! Oh well, a comment is the next best thing to reward this bit of introspection.
lost_buoy
+2 -0
If those are Bruno Maglis, then this is the zenith of badassery.
If those are Bruno Maglis, then this is the zenith of badassery.
falseprophet
+27 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
lost_buoy
+1 -0
You, sir, are a twisted individual. Therefore: chubby.
You, sir, are a twisted individual. Therefore: chubby.
1000hz
+25 -0
The fucking police are definitely afraid of Cornelius right now.
The fucking police are definitely afraid of Cornelius right now.
neonfreon
+4 -0
there are cops for that?
there are cops for that?
phy
+0 -0
A comment left by phy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jesler729, SchnappM, Xerol)
A comment left by phy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jesler729, SchnappM, Xerol)
spectre
+0 -1
Then don't go to fucking University of Florida with the short bus kids. Go to Florida State University or at least U of Miami (if you must).
Then don't go to fucking University of Florida with the short bus kids. Go to Florida State University or at least U of Miami (if you must).
spectre
+0 -0
Damn, out of chubbies.
Damn, out of chubbies.
jordstar
+6 -0
What sucks is, none of us can ever again read a strip about Cornelius Bear without discussing how badass he is in that particular strip.
He did other things besides winning the badass games, people.
(UMPH)
What sucks is, none of us can ever again read a strip about Cornelius Bear without discussing how badass he is in that particular strip.
He did other things besides winning the badass games, people.
(UMPH)
professorhazard
+1 -0
I always think fondly of the Umph Maneuver and its originator whenever I perform it.
I always think fondly of the Umph Maneuver and its originator whenever I perform it.
sageinarage
+0 -0
Please don't rip off your own flesh, Mr. Bear.
Please don't rip off your own flesh, Mr. Bear.
steerpike66
+1 -0
I don't know what's worse; that this is a genuine death train to hell for Cornelius, or some vile humorous ploy on the part of the guys. Either way, Cornelius may never speak to them, at them or near them ever again.
I don't know what's worse; that this is a genuine death train to hell for Cornelius, or some vile humorous ploy on the part of the guys. Either way, Cornelius may never speak to them, at them or near them ever again.
arbys
+1 -0
Man, you can't get tats out with a loafer.
He should try using a cricket bat.
Man, you can't get tats out with a loafer.
He should try using a cricket bat.
coolbreeze3
+0 -0
Wow, this makes me so sad. Will this tattoo be the death of Cornelius? :(
Wow, this makes me so sad. Will this tattoo be the death of Cornelius? :(
mr_pete
+7 -0
And what comes after?
Cornelius, reading Epictetus.
Cornelius, holding a belt sander.
Cornelius, restored.
And what comes after?
Cornelius, reading Epictetus.
Cornelius, holding a belt sander.
Cornelius, restored.
phy
+1 -0
Epictetus, yes , but I'm not sure about the belt sander. Would a stoic seek to erase the consequences of his actions? Or would he seek to understand his being, to the ends that those consequences never again arise?
Epictetus, yes , but I'm not sure about the belt sander. Would a stoic seek to erase the consequences of his actions? Or would he seek to understand his being, to the ends that those consequences never again arise?
boredom_man
+3 -0
One does not become stoical simply by reading Epictetus. Trust me on th OH GOD
One does not become stoical simply by reading Epictetus. Trust me on th OH GOD
stop
+3 -0
Wow, he really hates it. Guess he prefers Star Trek.
Wow, he really hates it. Guess he prefers Star Trek.
professorhazard
+6 -1
If I woke up with the Star Trek: The Next Generation logo on my chest, I would only feel an inner calm and sense of fulfillment upon its discovery.
If I woke up with the Star Trek: The Next Generation logo on my chest, I would only feel an inner calm and sense of fulfillment upon its discovery.
jackparsons
+0 -0
Which "Next Generation Primitives" head-fuckage would you like?
Which "Next Generation Primitives" head-fuckage would you like?
professorhazard
+1 -0
I... I don't know what that means. Are you offering me oral sex because I like Star Trek?
I... I don't know what that means. Are you offering me oral sex because I like Star Trek?
straw
+0 -0
She'd better stay indoors then.
She'd better stay indoors then.
spectre
+7 -0
No, he prefers Doctor Who, of course.
No, he prefers Doctor Who, of course.
divot
+0 -0
Oh that I had not given out all my chubbies.
Oh that I had not given out all my chubbies.
sirfrederick
+0 -0
I got your back.
I got your back.
sttaffy
+0 -1
first strip that made me laugh out loud in a while :)
first strip that made me laugh out loud in a while :)
sparhawk
+3 -1
The last time I hit myself with a shoe there was a woman involved.
Oh wait. No there wasn't. That was kind of the issue...
"Swipe" indeed.
The last time I hit myself with a shoe there was a woman involved.
Oh wait. No there wasn't. That was kind of the issue...
"Swipe" indeed.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
oh man. how has THIS post just passed everyone by... you poor poor lonely man. cheers.
oh man. how has THIS post just passed everyone by... you poor poor lonely man. cheers.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
crap. i'm out of chubbies but you totally deserve one.
*virtual chubby*
crap. i'm out of chubbies but you totally deserve one.
*virtual chubby*
pygmalion00
+0 -0
A comment left by pygmalion00 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stop, msucaba, neitherman)
A comment left by pygmalion00 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stop, msucaba, neitherman)
iceofboston
+1 -1
do not know if want...
do not know if want...
falseprophet
+0 -0
If your assetbar username is a reference to the song by the Dismemberment Plan, then I would give you a chubby had I not run out already.
If your assetbar username is a reference to the song by the Dismemberment Plan, then I would give you a chubby had I not run out already.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i have not stopped thinking about this comment ever since i saw it. it is almost the pefrect thing to say ever and i wish i had not run out of chubbies to give you one.
i have not stopped thinking about this comment ever since i saw it. it is almost the pefrect thing to say ever and i wish i had not run out of chubbies to give you one.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*perfect. *splode*
*perfect. *splode*
susurrus
+2 -0
ladies and gentlemen, i give you, the saddest thing.
ladies and gentlemen, i give you, the saddest thing.
tbtabby
+0 -1
It's really embarrassing to see him like this. He took being shot in stride, but getting a tattoo of the Star Wars logo makes him fugue?
It's really embarrassing to see him like this. He took being shot in stride, but getting a tattoo of the Star Wars logo makes him fugue?
professorhazard
+14 -0
He hates how Lucas butchered the originals over time.
He hates how Lucas butchered the originals over time.
earendil
+1 -0
yes. an excellent comment my friend; so much so that my approval cannot be limited to a mere chubby but must be vocalized.
yes. an excellent comment my friend; so much so that my approval cannot be limited to a mere chubby but must be vocalized.
professorhazard
+2 -0
Thanks, President Lincoln!
Thanks, President Lincoln!
mnemonicdevice
+0 -0
Pure, unadulterated "WOW".
Pure, unadulterated "WOW".
stevepants
+0 -0
hahaha wow...wow
hahaha wow...wow
johnnyc
+0 -0
i am so sad about the volume of tears just streaming down his face
i am so sad about the volume of tears just streaming down his face
ninjaein
+0 -0
Geez...
I wonder why that's got him all riled up. I mean, c'mon! The poor bear's CRYING!
Geez...
I wonder why that's got him all riled up. I mean, c'mon! The poor bear's CRYING!
stonedlightning
+18 -0
Because he's done something he swore he'd never do. Oh, maybe he never swore it in so many specific words, but he swore it with the way he conducts himself in his life; he swore it with his stride.
Because he's done something he swore he'd never do. Oh, maybe he never swore it in so many specific words, but he swore it with the way he conducts himself in his life; he swore it with his stride.
professorhazard
+0 -0
Take this post in lieu of the Chubby that the rating system deemed me too friendly to confer upon you.
Take this post in lieu of the Chubby that the rating system deemed me too friendly to confer upon you.
namdnas
+0 -0
I suspect Ray will pay for the laser removal.
I suspect Ray will pay for the laser removal.
spectre
+7 -0
I suspect Ray paid for the damned tattoo.
I suspect Ray paid for the damned tattoo.
tbtabby
+1 -0
We're looking at a twelve hundo.
We're looking at a twelve hundo.
geoneb
+2 -0
This is sadder than Cartilage Head.
This is sadder than Cartilage Head.
elliotj
+0 -0
Never before have I seen such a look of rage upon Cornelius's face
Never before have I seen such a look of rage upon Cornelius's face
noah_j
+1 -0
this is TERRIFYING.
will he rip his skin off? will philippe see?
this is a hell of awful week for cornelius bear
this is TERRIFYING.
will he rip his skin off? will philippe see?
this is a hell of awful week for cornelius bear
stonedlightning
+0 -0
Jesus, Connie!
Jesus, Connie!
dallovich
+0 -0
I wonder if Cornelius is actually old school enough to tear off his own skin.
Wait a minute, of course he is!
I wonder if Cornelius is actually old school enough to tear off his own skin.
Wait a minute, of course he is!
stonedlightning
+1 -0
Next on Cornelius Deals with His New Tattoo: bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Next on Cornelius Deals with His New Tattoo: bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
tombsgrave
+0 -0
Cornelius's open mouth, like Phillipe's, is a thing of mortal terror.
Cornelius's open mouth, like Phillipe's, is a thing of mortal terror.
budenhagen
+0 -0
Anyone else wondering what happened to the Lyle/crap story?
Plus, Connie needs to calm down, at his age he might have a heart attack.
Anyone else wondering what happened to the Lyle/crap story?
Plus, Connie needs to calm down, at his age he might have a heart attack.
spectre
+0 -0
Or go into a mania.
Or go into a mania.
boscostacy
+2 -0
No.
No.
baryonyx
+0 -0
As in, no, he does not have heart attacks, because he is Cornelius Bear .
As in, no, he does not have heart attacks, because he is Cornelius Bear .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
his heart itself has heart attacks, 'cos it's scared of what would happen to it if it ceased working as it's meant to.
his heart itself has heart attacks, 'cos it's scared of what would happen to it if it ceased working as it's meant to.
spectre
+4 -0
LASER, Mr. Cornelius, LASER. Not "loafer". LASER. LAZE-ER.
LASER, Mr. Cornelius, LASER. Not "loafer". LASER. LAZE-ER.
evolume
+0 -0
You GUYS! STOP MAKING FUN! He needs our support through these trying times.
You GUYS! STOP MAKING FUN! He needs our support through these trying times.
anitrophaeron
+5 -0
His tits look like they could use some support through any times.
His tits look like they could use some support through any times.
snidedk
+3 -0
HEYOOOO!
HEYOOOO!
lawbot
+0 -0
This is both strange and heartbreaking.
This is both strange and heartbreaking.
cousinted
+1 -0
I expect I'll regret you
But the skin graft man won't get you
You'll be there when I die...
I expect I'll regret you
But the skin graft man won't get you
You'll be there when I die...
cuneocapo
+1 -0
I'm sure he wouldn't be so upset if the prequels weren't made. If that was the case, I think he'd lecture Philippe a bit more for a day or two instead.
I'm sure he wouldn't be so upset if the prequels weren't made. If that was the case, I think he'd lecture Philippe a bit more for a day or two instead.
agentj
+0 -0
I deem this tragedy.
I deem this tragedy.
nikoeatsabear
+1 -0
This will be the premise for a third trilogy.
This will be the premise for a third trilogy.
baryonyx
+4 -0
SCREW YOU, STAR WARS TATTOO! FUCK YOU!
SCREW YOU, STAR WARS TATTOO! FUCK YOU!
pjalne
+7 -0
Man-bear-tits
Man-bear-tits
falseprophet
+1 -0
This is totally serial you guys.
This is totally serial you guys.
catgrl131
+2 -0
Rest assured, had I any chubbies, I would bequeath them unto you
Rest assured, had I any chubbies, I would bequeath them unto you
ricnine
+0 -0
Once he's out of panic mode, he'll behave more rationally. With some of the generough Mr. Smuckles' cash, I'm sure he can find someone to laser it off and do a tasteful cover-up over what remains. Godspeed, Mr. Bear.
Once he's out of panic mode, he'll behave more rationally. With some of the generough Mr. Smuckles' cash, I'm sure he can find someone to laser it off and do a tasteful cover-up over what remains. Godspeed, Mr. Bear.
hbaranov
+0 -0
It's a Transfer, I swear, it must be..
It's a Transfer, I swear, it must be..
professorhazard
+0 -0
Did he get it at the Transfer Station?
Because nobody should ever go there.
Did he get it at the Transfer Station?
Because nobody should ever go there.
meowmix
+0 -0
was I wrong to find this both tragic and absolutely hilarious?
was I wrong to find this both tragic and absolutely hilarious?
artvandelay
+0 -0
Woah
Woah
bigtom
+0 -0
jesus christ Cornelius is not pleased
jesus christ Cornelius is not pleased
baryonyx
+0 -0
I'm giving this a four, because Beef's expression on the 4 button is the most appropriate.
I'm giving this a four, because Beef's expression on the 4 button is the most appropriate.
ashoykh
+0 -0
i just don't see this ending well...
i just don't see this ending well...
ashoykh
+0 -0
therefore, I will leave a simple comment: I love achewood.
therefore, I will leave a simple comment: I love achewood.
morbo
+0 -1
Not unlike discovering a tattoo of Glen beck of Tucker Carlson.
Not unlike discovering a tattoo of Glen beck of Tucker Carlson.
buffalobutt
+0 -0
Am I wrong, or would smacking yourself with a shoe on a fresh tattoo be incredibly painful?
Am I wrong, or would smacking yourself with a shoe on a fresh tattoo be incredibly painful?
bourbonsamurai
+1 -0
A day after? Nah. A little more painful than if you had no tattoo. My friend punched me repeatedly in a fresh tattoo once in a blind rage, and, while it hurt, it didn't cause me to fall on the ground in agony or nothing.
I was a little drunk, though.
A day after? Nah. A little more painful than if you had no tattoo. My friend punched me repeatedly in a fresh tattoo once in a blind rage, and, while it hurt, it didn't cause me to fall on the ground in agony or nothing.
I was a little drunk, though.
werthog42
+1 -0
"I was a little drunk, though."
this advice does not help us
"I was a little drunk, though."
this advice does not help us
bourbonsamurai
+1 -0
Well, maybe you should get a little drunk and it'll help you out more. Just a little.
Well, maybe you should get a little drunk and it'll help you out more. Just a little.
coco
+0 -0
Maybe it would be incredibly painful for us mere mortals . . . But not for Cornelius Bear.
Maybe it would be incredibly painful for us mere mortals . . . But not for Cornelius Bear.
hygraed
+0 -0
oh god he's so angry
oh god he's so angry
lizard
+0 -1
Take that Star Wars, you soul-draining succubus.
Take that Star Wars, you soul-draining succubus.
cromulent
+4 -0
This is like when kings would hear of their sons dying and rend their clothes and wear burlap and roll around in ash.
This is like when kings would hear of their sons dying and rend their clothes and wear burlap and roll around in ash.
lateadopter
+2 -0
It's more like when Ivan the Terrible killed his own son.
It's more like when Ivan the Terrible killed his own son.
phthoggos
+1 -0
https://www.archive.org/details/EricWhitacreWhenDavidHeard
https://www.archive.org/details/EricWhitacreWhenDavidHeard
cromulent
+0 -0
Biblical, exactly.
Biblical, exactly.
cromulent
+0 -0
https://www.keyway.ca/htm2002/20020421.htm
Thanks, The Church of God Daily Bible Study!
https://www.keyway.ca/htm2002/20020421.htm
Thanks, The Church of God Daily Bible Study!
mobro_4000
+2 -0
I think it's a perfect... logo.
I think it's a perfect... logo.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
Man, Teodor fucked up. Cornelius completely hates Star Wars.
Man, Teodor fucked up. Cornelius completely hates Star Wars.
pebohead
+0 -0
you guys know its probaly a temporary tattoo right? like little kids get?
you guys know its probaly a temporary tattoo right? like little kids get?
heeeraldo
+0 -0
we can only hope.
we can only hope.
nevlik
+0 -0
I said this exact thing yesterday.
I said this exact thing yesterday.
cormanosanchez
+0 -0
I please hope that tattoo is gone
I please hope that tattoo is gone
nevlik
+0 -0
I haven't seen a level of pathos and powerful imagery since "The Goon - Chinatown and the Mystery of Mr.Wicker". Go, Onstad.
I haven't seen a level of pathos and powerful imagery since "The Goon - Chinatown and the Mystery of Mr.Wicker". Go, Onstad.
bhlaab
+0 -0
Tomorrow's stage of despair: Denial!
Tomorrow's stage of despair: Denial!
weekendofsound
+1 -0
I dunno if I'm the only one, but I'm reminded of that part in the golden compass where that one bear PUNCHES THAT OTHER BEARS JAW RIGHT THE FUCK OFF.
I dunno if I'm the only one, but I'm reminded of that part in the golden compass where that one bear PUNCHES THAT OTHER BEARS JAW RIGHT THE FUCK OFF.
flash1087
+0 -0
Best kids' movie ever. I actually heard a child shriek during that scene at the showing I went to.
Best kids' movie ever. I actually heard a child shriek during that scene at the showing I went to.
brisk87
+0 -0
It's true...that really is the most painful part of the loafer.
It's true...that really is the most painful part of the loafer.
flash1087
+0 -0
In an ironic meta-comic twist, the kind I live for, I hope to awaken New Year's Day with a chest tattoo of Cornelius' facial expression in the last panel.
Onstad draws misery like nobody else can.
In an ironic meta-comic twist, the kind I live for, I hope to awaken New Year's Day with a chest tattoo of Cornelius' facial expression in the last panel.
Onstad draws misery like nobody else can.
helenthebum
+0 -1
i hope mr bear discovers that tattoo remover cream soon <3 poor mr bear
i hope mr bear discovers that tattoo remover cream soon <3 poor mr bear
chuvak
+0 -0
Man, he's going to be real ashamed later when he find out it's a rub on, or magic marker.
Man, he's going to be real ashamed later when he find out it's a rub on, or magic marker.
greatwhite
+1 -0
Damn, Cornelius gets real.
Damn, Cornelius gets real.
afronaut
+1 -0
Before you is a man who's soul was taken and returned with damage
Before you is a man who's soul was taken and returned with damage
lamewad
+1 -0
I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER
A DEAD LETTER MARKED "RETURN TO SENDER"
I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER
A DEAD LETTER MARKED "RETURN TO SENDER"
flash1087
+1 -1
You're gay for making that reference.
I'm gayer for catching the reference and remarking upon it.
You're gay for making that reference.
I'm gayer for catching the reference and remarking upon it.
lamewad
+2 -0
You know what's REALLY gay?
Two people of the same gender participating in sexual acts.
Gay is not a synonym for stupid, guy.
Just saying.
You know what's REALLY gay?
Two people of the same gender participating in sexual acts.
Gay is not a synonym for stupid, guy.
Just saying.
thatcher
+0 -0
That's anger, remorse, and helplessness right there.
Once proud. Once proud.
That's anger, remorse, and helplessness right there.
Once proud. Once proud.
thrasher
+0 -0
In the world of serious directors, this is probably how George Lucas feels every day.
In the world of serious directors, this is probably how George Lucas feels every day.
jackparsons
+0 -0
In the world of serious directors there have not been a George Lucas since THX-1138. Though I've heard Corvette Summer was not bad.
In the world of serious directors there have not been a George Lucas since THX-1138. Though I've heard Corvette Summer was not bad.
nucleargeranium
+0 -0
Cornelius is RAW.
Cornelius is RAW.
dr_sexlove
+0 -0
I guess this is what Neil Young was talking about.
I guess this is what Neil Young was talking about.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Okay, so, do you think that this is how Cornelius usually handles these situations? Or is this an explosion of repressed moments in his life? I would think he has had his benders and rude awakenings before, he has lived a full life. But that is not the face of a man accustomed to waking up to a bad decision.
Okay, so, do you think that this is how Cornelius usually handles these situations? Or is this an explosion of repressed moments in his life? I would think he has had his benders and rude awakenings before, he has lived a full life. But that is not the face of a man accustomed to waking up to a bad decision.
unsentletter
+0 -0
When I saw it, the profound agony portrayed in this strip made me clap both hands to my mouth.
When I saw it, the profound agony portrayed in this strip made me clap both hands to my mouth.
dwodles
+0 -0
Cornelius is getting straight up rude all over the place. I'm diggin this a lot
Cornelius is getting straight up rude all over the place. I'm diggin this a lot
hellofditties
+0 -0
This strip caused me some kind of seizure and I just spilt milk and cereal all over the new carpet. I had to scramble around on all fours picking up the little bits of cereal because it is my dad's kind and he doesn't know I eat it. Now I smell like milk.
This strip caused me some kind of seizure and I just spilt milk and cereal all over the new carpet. I had to scramble around on all fours picking up the little bits of cereal because it is my dad's kind and he doesn't know I eat it. Now I smell like milk.
rockstarsatemy
+0 -0
5 for the title.
<3 neil young.
5 for the title.
<3 neil young.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
i wasn't going to rate this highly, but then i read the name of the strip.
i wasn't going to rate this highly, but then i read the name of the strip.
freerhi
+0 -0
lol
lol
thaes
+0 -0
Mr. Bear looks so... furious! Unleash the Fury!
Mr. Bear looks so... furious! Unleash the Fury!
zapatos
+0 -0
That is really not going to help it heal.
That is really not going to help it heal.
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
How the cultured british mind responds to stupefying shock.
How the cultured british mind responds to stupefying shock.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
what a fucking drama queen!
what a fucking drama queen!
fatcat
+0 -0
Cornelius' eyes have melted from his fury, and are dripping down his face. In his blind rage, he will destroy us all.
Cornelius' eyes have melted from his fury, and are dripping down his face. In his blind rage, he will destroy us all.
genequagmire
+0 -0
I would react the same way.
I would react the same way.
maledictis
+0 -0
Cornelius is so furious about his bad tattoo.
Cornelius is so furious about his bad tattoo.
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but he's a teddy bear
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... a pissed-off, feral teddy bear who spent enough time in prison to discern the finer points of German vs. French cell-mates. Cornelius has done violent things before, he will do them again with sufficient provocation. Somehow, being shot by Pat was not enough to draw his ire, but now we know what is.
This is a level of fallibility we have never before beheld in Cornelius over the last week or so. First his violent solution to the Phileppe's e-buggering, and now this tragic turn of events. We can only hope and pray he will recover soon.
I don't know that rage and mortification of the flesh count as fallibility in this situation. Like everyone in Achewood, Cornelius has his own slant on reality, and we get peeks at it here and there. I thought he was perfectly rational to take a cricket bat to the computer: cut off the threat at the source. He seemed philosophical about being injured by Pat. Who would know better what to expect when the uninitiated drink grappa with guns in their hands? But this tattoo is an insult to his dignity, and a self-inflicted one, at that. And there could be more to the story that we don't know yet, that makes the tattoo extra-heinous for him.
I think it's how Sir Alec Guinness would have felt if he didn't have two percent of the gross.
that comment makes me look at this strip in a completely different manner. I've said it before on a recent strip, but it applies here, too: this should have been the alt text.
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, Moraiat, kforkarl, skjames)
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Actually, looking at it again, the badassery seems to grow every time I view it.
At first I was disgusted and horrified to see the normally calm and collected Cornelius doing this, but now he actually seems like a grizzly bear just being angry.
I have never met a grizzly bear that was happy to get Star Wars inked on his chest after I got him drunk on SoCo and lemonade.
He's smacking a fresh tatoo! Hurts like hell that does.
and it might interfere with the healing process, causing parts of the tat to pull out of the skin. Better a good looking star wars tattoo than a fucked up one.
I disagree. An indiscernible mass of ink and scar tissue makes for a helluva better story than a perfectly rendered Star Wars logo.
It's a choice Tragic Beauty Vs. Genuinely Embarassing and Out of Character Nerdiness.
I know what I'd choose.
Good point, but in this particular case, the Tragic Beauty of it is inversely proportional to how legible it is afterward.
Primal rage vs. infantile impetuousness
If my child tried to rip the skin off his own chest, and then after failing started beating himself with a shoe in a rage, I think I'd send him to a shrink, not call it a tantrum.
but what if he did all that because you told him no, he cannot get his accidental star wars tattoo removed?
Completely agree: "Tanty" sounds like Ukranian slang for a woman's genitalia.
If this were a strip I'd give it a 5, for it managed to make me chortle.
Dude.
RRRAAGGGHHH!
I mean, come on.
This is the epitome of remorse.
This is as remorseful as a man can be, to do this.
It took a lot to break C. Bear. A damn hell lot.
TANTY!!!!!
(pacman eyes, tittering commence)
:D
That is not a tanty, that is one hundred percent, pure MAN RAGE!
I saw this more as how he'd rather destroy the flesh that was weak enough to accept such a tattoo than have it soil his presence.
At least he is not the angriest a man can be yet. I am sure we would all be sad to see that happen to Cornelius.
Dammit, I have NOT given out enough chubbies! Applesauce!
IT HAPPENED TO ME, TOO!!
THIS CORN IS YOU, ASSETBAR!!!
"ladies in gentlemen"? I'm not quite sure how that would work...
Then you haven't spent enough time on the internet.
get into this trunk.
oh damn what did i just do.
Personally I would consider his bad-assery to be displayed much more effectively by his attempt to slap a tattoo off of his own body with the sole of a loafer.
... Why this Pro-Cornelius attitude?
The "badass games" were a farce... meant only to highlight that Cornelius is old, doesn't know what bread is, and gets on well with trained dogs. There was nothing remotely badass about it.
That aside, we've witnessed him basically being a douche to Philippe without even the excuse of humour, culminating in destroying a monitor out of spite.
AND it turns out he doesn't like Star Wars.
Well, I'd say the crusty old git is getting his comeuppance.
Cry, Cornelius! CRY!