featurelessvoid
+21 -2
Love will tear Beef apart, again.
Love will tear Beef apart, again.
nonamejoe
+9 -0
More like "for entertainment they watch his body twitch / while behind his eyes he says, 'I still exist'". Or at least that's how he sees it.
More like "for entertainment they watch his body twitch / while behind his eyes he says, 'I still exist'". Or at least that's how he sees it.
achilleselbow
+4 -0
Is it getting faster, moving faster now? Is it getting out of hand?
Is it getting faster, moving faster now? Is it getting out of hand?
featurelessvoid
+1 -0
It's different now that Beef's poor and aging. He'll never see this place again, as he goes stabbing himself in the neck.
Wait, what? It's not? Are you sure? But it sounds like... Wow. Sorry about that.
It's different now that Beef's poor and aging. He'll never see this place again, as he goes stabbing himself in the neck.
Wait, what? It's not? Are you sure? But it sounds like... Wow. Sorry about that.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Too bad he's too self-conscious to dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to the radio.
Too bad he's too self-conscious to dance, dance, dance, dance, dance to the radio.
jar
+1 -0
Beef don't walk away in silence.
Beef don't walk away in silence.
greyfield
+0 -0
He's lost control again.
He's lost control again.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
He better not ever fade away, fade away, fade away...
He better not ever fade away, fade away, fade away...
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
350125
350125
greatjob
+0 -0
THREE ONE G.
THREE ONE G.
boscostacy
+0 -0
Beef is for whom the wheels are turning, turn again and turn toward this time. All Molly asks, the strength to hold him, then again, the same old story.
Beef is for whom the wheels are turning, turn again and turn toward this time. All Molly asks, the strength to hold him, then again, the same old story.
kybard
+31 -0
Roast Beef is the saddest thing.
Roast Beef is the saddest thing.
connormc
+1 -0
Unsettling avatar/comment synergy.
Unsettling avatar/comment synergy.
spinynorman
+18 -0
Just an FYI kids - you don't have to have bad parents to have depression. You just have to have depression.
Just an FYI kids - you don't have to have bad parents to have depression. You just have to have depression.
wozzeck
+9 -0
So, go for it!
So, go for it!
tommycrashwreck
+7 -0
Man I had the WORST day. Last time I ever take wozzeck's advice....
Man I had the WORST day. Last time I ever take wozzeck's advice....
rumblefish
+1 -0
Depression is a gold ring that electrocutes you. Not enough to kill you, just enough to knock you down and make you crap yourself.
Depression is a gold ring that electrocutes you. Not enough to kill you, just enough to knock you down and make you crap yourself.
rumblefish
+1 -0
Brass ring....dammit. And I was feeling so good there, now I won't get out of bed for three days.
Brass ring....dammit. And I was feeling so good there, now I won't get out of bed for three days.
sherief
+0 -0
Or don't. Whatever.
Or don't. Whatever.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Although bad parents certainly do help!
Although bad parents certainly do help!
boredom_man
+3 -0
Let's all pick on Spiny Norman for the fact that his psychiatric illness is not exacerbated by psychological trauma.
Also he told Onstad that he has a small penis.
Mine's really big, by the way.
Let's all pick on Spiny Norman for the fact that his psychiatric illness is not exacerbated by psychological trauma.
Also he told Onstad that he has a small penis.
Mine's really big, by the way.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
High five!
High five!
boredom_man
+1 -0
Five inches , that is.
Five inches , that is.
zombiezero
+0 -0
No, that's what exactly they don't do.
No, that's what exactly they don't do.
adahn
+0 -0
I have depression every time I watch Platoon
I have depression every time I watch Platoon
desert_donkey
+2 -1
watch " Apocalypse Now ". it'll cheer you up. ;)
watch " Apocalypse Now ". it'll cheer you up. ;)
lynnym
+0 -0
Or even better, read Heart of Darkness, the movie's inspiration. That'll make you laaaauuugh....
Or even better, read Heart of Darkness, the movie's inspiration. That'll make you laaaauuugh....
fictions
+2 -0
Or even better, go to Poland, the country that produced the author of Heart of Darkness. That'll make you laaaauuugh....
Or even better, go to Poland, the country that produced the author of Heart of Darkness. That'll make you laaaauuugh....
sje46
+0 -0
Conrad was a genius. English wasn't even his first language.
Conrad was a genius. English wasn't even his first language.
tekende
+9 -0
Look at the genius! Look at him write in his second language!
Look at the genius! Look at him write in his second language!
stereo
+0 -0
You know what is crazy? I read a book about a psycho killer who thinks he's the main character of Heart of Darkness. It's like a meta meta meta story.
You know what is crazy? I read a book about a psycho killer who thinks he's the main character of Heart of Darkness. It's like a meta meta meta story.
stereo
+0 -0
Oops, forgot to mention it was a work of fiction.
Oops, forgot to mention it was a work of fiction.
biff
+1 -0
Lord, Jim, what are you talking about?
Lord, Jim, what are you talking about?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Peter's O' toole?
Peter's O' toole?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Don't touch Alec's Guinness!
Don't touch Alec's Guinness!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Don't fondle Liam's Neeson.
Don't fondle Liam's Neeson.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It was last seen near Gregory's Peck.
It was last seen near Gregory's Peck.
lapsarian
+0 -0
are you talking about the timothy findley book i can't be asked to google right now?
are you talking about the timothy findley book i can't be asked to google right now?
stereo
+0 -0
Yes, Headhunter .
Yes, Headhunter .
theguitarhero
+4 -0
Headhunter? I hardly know her!
Headhunter? I hardly know her!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Are you going to hunt that author down for mocking you with a fiction like that?
Are you going to hunt that author down for mocking you with a fiction like that?
stereo
+0 -0
By the time you read this message, he is already dead.
By the time you read this message, he is already dead.
sje46
+0 -0
Third.
And he didn't even learn it until his twenties. This makes his wonderful prose even more impressive.
Third.
And he didn't even learn it until his twenties. This makes his wonderful prose even more impressive.
sje46
+0 -0
This is one of those comments which I don't understand why it gets so many chubbies. Is this a reference to something?
This is one of those comments which I don't understand why it gets so many chubbies. Is this a reference to something?
desert_donkey
+0 -1
yer so well read ;)
yer so well read ;)
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I think you're thinking of Apocalypse Now.is what I think.
I think you're thinking of Apocalypse Now.is what I think.
rowboat
+0 -0
No parents, however, is the key to happiness!
No parents, however, is the key to happiness!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no.
no.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Seriously though, it is an incredibly guilty fantasy of literally every North-American Person that they could be an orphan .
That's why Superman Batman Spider-Man, Harry Potter, etc are all orphans.
We all wish we could be orphans!
Why? Because it means we can become whoever we choose to be!
OR it turns out our REAL PARENTS are royalty! So we can go join them in their fantastic wealthy lives!!!
Seriously though, it is an incredibly guilty fantasy of literally every North-American Person that they could be an orphan .
That's why Superman Batman Spider-Man, Harry Potter, etc are all orphans.
We all wish we could be orphans!
Why? Because it means we can become whoever we choose to be!
OR it turns out our REAL PARENTS are royalty! So we can go join them in their fantastic wealthy lives!!!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
On the other hand, your parents could turn out to be homeless junkies. Or even bears.
On the other hand, your parents could turn out to be homeless junkies. Or even bears.
zeal
+0 -0
I would not be sad to find out that my real parents are bears. It would explain many things.
I would not be sad to find out that my real parents are bears. It would explain many things.
boscostacy
+1 -0
Bears with chainsaw hands.
Bears with chainsaw hands.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
one of my exes used to play 'orphans' with her siblings, 'cos nobody wanted to be a parent.
this guilty fantasy of orphanage is where that would stem from...but i honestly can't ever remember considering it.
your avi looks considerably like one of my old buddies named jay. this is moderately disconcerting to me.
one of my exes used to play 'orphans' with her siblings, 'cos nobody wanted to be a parent.
this guilty fantasy of orphanage is where that would stem from...but i honestly can't ever remember considering it.
your avi looks considerably like one of my old buddies named jay. this is moderately disconcerting to me.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
My name is not Jay. You can relax.
My name is not Jay. You can relax.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
okay.
okay.
rowboat
+1 -0
Whew
Whew
mrfedora
+2 -0
He comes from Circumstances. Hella Circumstances.
He comes from Circumstances. Hella Circumstances.
gormster
+4 -0
Welcome to Circumstances, PA
Population: Roast Beef
Welcome to Circumstances, PA
Population: Roast Beef
nice-on-water
+4 -0
Just west of Intercourse.
Just west of Intercourse.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
'Just west of Intercourse'
Causes a damp patch on the sheets - take it from me.
'Just west of Intercourse'
Causes a damp patch on the sheets - take it from me.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
D'oh!
D'oh!
stereo
+0 -0
I know that feeling well.
I know that feeling well.
stereo
+0 -0
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, mcowgill, fancypants, habnabit)
A comment left by stereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, mcowgill, fancypants, habnabit)
hedonismbot
+1 -0
But dude, have you heard the gospel of Seka?
But dude, have you heard the gospel of Seka?
stereo
+0 -0
Sorry, I'm more interested in male porn stars.
Sorry, I'm more interested in male porn stars.
redphillip
+0 -0
Me too! We should start a club, huh?
Me too! We should start a club, huh?
zapatos
+0 -0
You should start a club, and every club needs a mascot.
You should start a club, and every club needs a mascot.
zapatos
+0 -0
I can fill that roll.
I can fill that roll.
paperboy_2000
+3 -0
Dude, Seka has made many terrible eating decisions at Burger King, but you don't see her getting down about it!
Dude, Seka has made many terrible eating decisions at Burger King, but you don't see her getting down about it!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Because she ain't got Depression.
Because she ain't got Depression.
belgand
+0 -0
You do see her getting down on another lady and also on those nice gentlemen.
You do see her getting down on another lady and also on those nice gentlemen.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Basically, being in a Burger King is a TERRIBLE decision.
Basically, being in a Burger King is a TERRIBLE decision.
mustakrakesh
+2 -0
Dude! beat-box my dwarf-core!
Dude! beat-box my dwarf-core!
kickstart
+0 -0
At my college, the guys in Triangle house had a Chow Chow called Seka. Suddenly everything makes sense.
At my college, the guys in Triangle house had a Chow Chow called Seka. Suddenly everything makes sense.
skiddysmith
+0 -0
my aunt has a chow chow named seka...weird.
my aunt has a chow chow named seka...weird.
rowboat
+0 -0
Maybe your aunt was a frat boy?
Maybe your aunt was a frat boy?
drskradley
+0 -0
I first read that as "fart boy". Much more amusing.
I dare someone to Google Video search that. Turn the parental filter "off", of course. Tell me what you find.
Also I don't know who or what the fuck Seka is. No no, don't tell me.
I first read that as "fart boy". Much more amusing.
I dare someone to Google Video search that. Turn the parental filter "off", of course. Tell me what you find.
Also I don't know who or what the fuck Seka is. No no, don't tell me.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
I clicked on a video called "Fart Boy and Penis Girl" and it was just some completely wholesome footage of a family at a zoo. Sometimes I think I don't understand the Internet.
I did find this though:
[IMGS OFF]
I clicked on a video called "Fart Boy and Penis Girl" and it was just some completely wholesome footage of a family at a zoo. Sometimes I think I don't understand the Internet.
I did find this though:
[IMGS OFF]
scorpio_nadir
+5 -0
You...you spent your $500,000 NSF grant on What?
You...you spent your $500,000 NSF grant on What?
rowboat
+0 -0
Skradley's aunt was a fart boy - pass it on.
Skradley's aunt was a fart boy - pass it on.
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Can someone PLEASE tell me what a "chow chow" is?
Can someone PLEASE tell me what a "chow chow" is?
valrus
+1 -0
https://tinyurl.com/5fnys7
https://tinyurl.com/5fnys7
paul9
+0 -0
Seka: Genesis
(Sorry.)
Seka: Genesis
(Sorry.)
belgand
+0 -0
Seka does what Nintendon't
Seka does what Nintendon't
daidai
+2 -0
:(
:(
xi
+3 -0
Dude who passed the gas?
Dude who passed the gas?
cpnglxynchos
+9 -0
245. The "Nice Pete"
You are in the same room as a lady and Nice Pete is also there. The lady does a :(
SOLUTION: There is none. Nice Pete has probably already taken care of the Problem himself. Dap him if his hands are not red and he is still in view.
245. The "Nice Pete"
You are in the same room as a lady and Nice Pete is also there. The lady does a :(
SOLUTION: There is none. Nice Pete has probably already taken care of the Problem himself. Dap him if his hands are not red and he is still in view.
quazifuji
+1 -0
Those are some weird-shaped thought bubbles that Ray's in. The second one looks kind of like the silhouette of an Achewood cat with kind of a pompadour.
Those are some weird-shaped thought bubbles that Ray's in. The second one looks kind of like the silhouette of an Achewood cat with kind of a pompadour.
aaron_haynes
+9 -0
Thought bubbles about Ray are shaped like Ray.
Thought bubbles about Ray are shaped like Ray.
connormc
+0 -0
Chubbied for geometry humor.
Chubbied for geometry humor.
dangelder
+0 -0
It is the most depressed way to draw a thought bubble.
It is the most depressed way to draw a thought bubble.
kickstart
+0 -0
For Ray, by Ray. Every time!
For Ray, by Ray. Every time!
mattfish
+59 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Mother of Mercy...
Mother of Mercy...
mercuri0us
+0 -0
disturbingly surreal.
disturbingly surreal.
tekende
+0 -0
It looks like it's going to sneeze
It looks like it's going to sneeze
falseprophet
+1 -0
"Run along, kid, you bother me."
"Run along, kid, you bother me."
daidai
+0 -0
...Dad?
...Dad?
zeal
+0 -0
Kudos on the Avatar/Post combo, daidai. Kudos.
Kudos on the Avatar/Post combo, daidai. Kudos.
daidai
+0 -0
It works on so many levels! Look at the genius!
It works on so many levels! Look at the genius!
drskradley
+0 -0
Sweet LORD!
Sweet LORD!
fattypneumonia
+0 -0
Fuuuuuck... did you do this? Did you... this can't be chubbied enough people.
Fuuuuuck... did you do this? Did you... this can't be chubbied enough people.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
A comment left by woodenteeth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by prius_chaser, ActualTaunt, NDCaesar, fancypants, Setzkin, gardenhead_, Tragic_Johnson, shaggy23)
A comment left by woodenteeth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by prius_chaser, ActualTaunt, NDCaesar, fancypants, Setzkin, gardenhead_, Tragic_Johnson, shaggy23)
celesticles
+2 -0
It's funny, and it's character development. I think the reason it's funny is because it's so sad.
It's funny, and it's character development. I think the reason it's funny is because it's so sad.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
A comment left by woodenteeth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by unalone, NDCaesar, fancypants, Tragic_Johnson)
A comment left by woodenteeth was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by unalone, NDCaesar, fancypants, Tragic_Johnson)
celesticles
+1 -0
Man, now I feel bad that I think Roast Beef's depression is hilarious.
Man, now I feel bad that I think Roast Beef's depression is hilarious.
woodenteeth
+0 -1
Laugh or Cry. Either decision is valid.
I chose both.
Laugh or Cry. Either decision is valid.
I chose both.
nonamejoe
+3 -0
I have got depression. (Also, I'm the guy who sucks.) I don't necessarily find these particular strips funny, but I appreciate them for other reasons. And actually, the top half of the strip is very funny to me, the next panel is a thought I (and I'm sure many others) have casually pondered, and only the last panel is sad, yet moving.
So yeah, laugh or not, Achewood brings it. I find it hard to believe how well Onstad understands the depressed psyche when he doesn't suffer from it.
I have got depression. (Also, I'm the guy who sucks.) I don't necessarily find these particular strips funny, but I appreciate them for other reasons. And actually, the top half of the strip is very funny to me, the next panel is a thought I (and I'm sure many others) have casually pondered, and only the last panel is sad, yet moving.
So yeah, laugh or not, Achewood brings it. I find it hard to believe how well Onstad understands the depressed psyche when he doesn't suffer from it.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I think it's possible that Onstad does suffer from it, though not chronically and not in anyway that significantly impacts on his functionality.
That, or he talks a lot with the Depressed friends he claims to have in interviews. Writers are brilliant usually because they can articulate second hand emotion.
Wait. I think I just long-windedly agreed.
I think it's possible that Onstad does suffer from it, though not chronically and not in anyway that significantly impacts on his functionality.
That, or he talks a lot with the Depressed friends he claims to have in interviews. Writers are brilliant usually because they can articulate second hand emotion.
Wait. I think I just long-windedly agreed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I think you just used your Writing Ability well to describe Writing Ability. I am not using mine here.
I think you just used your Writing Ability well to describe Writing Ability. I am not using mine here.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
So meta...
meaning that your Writing Ability is in full-effect.
[irony] Word [/irony].
So meta...
meaning that your Writing Ability is in full-effect.
[irony] Word [/irony].
nice-on-water
+0 -0
My intentions exactly.
OHH SHIIIIIT
C'es t ne pas une comment, etc etc
We should write a non-book about not writing a book and BLOW SOME FUCKING MINDS.
My intentions exactly.
OHH SHIIIIIT
C'es t ne pas une comment, etc etc
We should write a non-book about not writing a book and BLOW SOME FUCKING MINDS.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Shit wait:
Ceci n'est pas une comment? Yes that's right.
AN INTENTIONAL ERROR HOW META
Shit wait:
Ceci n'est pas une comment? Yes that's right.
AN INTENTIONAL ERROR HOW META
nice-on-water
+1 -0
No wait, unintentional.
I am breaking some serious post-modern ground here.
No wait, unintentional.
I am breaking some serious post-modern ground here.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Look at him go! Look at the genius stand in his room!
Look at him go! Look at the genius stand in his room!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
YEEEEEEEEAGGGGGGHHH
COMMENT ABOUT A COMMENT
[IMGS OFF]
YEEEEEEEEAGGGGGGHHH
COMMENT ABOUT A COMMENT
[IMGS OFF]
miaou
+2 -0
Un commentaire, mon ami ;)
Un commentaire, mon ami ;)
belgand
+0 -0
While the username clearly gives you a right to make such a statement I can't help but think of someone who learned French entirely by listening to Gambit. Not even necessarily the comics either, but probably just the totally awesome old cartoon on Fox from the early 90s. Damn that was a great show. Not so good for teaching you French though.
From the makers of "Beast Teaches Greek "%u0395%u03BB%u03AC%u03C4%u03B5 %u03BC%u03B1%u03B8%u03B1%u03AF%u03BD%u03B5%u03B9 %u03C4%u03B1 %u03B5%u03BB%u03BB%u03B7%u03BD%u03B9%u03BA%u03AC %u03BC%u03B5 %u03BC%u03B5!"
While the username clearly gives you a right to make such a statement I can't help but think of someone who learned French entirely by listening to Gambit. Not even necessarily the comics either, but probably just the totally awesome old cartoon on Fox from the early 90s. Damn that was a great show. Not so good for teaching you French though.
From the makers of "Beast Teaches Greek "%u0395%u03BB%u03AC%u03C4%u03B5 %u03BC%u03B1%u03B8%u03B1%u03AF%u03BD%u03B5%u03B9 %u03C4%u03B1 %u03B5%u03BB%u03BB%u03B7%u03BD%u03B9%u03BA%u03AC %u03BC%u03B5 %u03BC%u03B5!"
belgand
+0 -0
I should have known that was born to fail. It looked wicked awesome though. Dammit, why did I have to pick a language that is completely out of the character set?
I should have known that was born to fail. It looked wicked awesome though. Dammit, why did I have to pick a language that is completely out of the character set?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It worked for me belgand! You are rad!
It worked for me belgand! You are rad!
belgand
+0 -0
That's because we use Assetbarista. If you refresh it'll fix the screwups, but it won't usually work the first time.
That's because we use Assetbarista. If you refresh it'll fix the screwups, but it won't usually work the first time.
belgand
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
I hadn't even thought of the whole thing with him questioning his sexuality. Maybe he'd be far more willing to teach you greek than you might wish.
This will make it a lot harder to just translate with Babelfish though, unfortunately.
[IMGS OFF]
I hadn't even thought of the whole thing with him questioning his sexuality. Maybe he'd be far more willing to teach you greek than you might wish.
This will make it a lot harder to just translate with Babelfish though, unfortunately.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
i'll get dad to translate that.
i'll get dad to translate that.
belgand
+0 -0
You could just get someone with Assetbarista who can pull down the original to just throw it into Babelfish too. That's how I translated it originally so it's probably atrocious.
Actually, since I just did a hack-job machine translate I don't deserve to put on airs and not provide an English translation. It was "Come learn Greek with me!"
You could just get someone with Assetbarista who can pull down the original to just throw it into Babelfish too. That's how I translated it originally so it's probably atrocious.
Actually, since I just did a hack-job machine translate I don't deserve to put on airs and not provide an English translation. It was "Come learn Greek with me!"
desert_donkey
+0 -1
even learning greek would be faster than my dad getting back to me.
even learning greek would be faster than my dad getting back to me.
stereo
+0 -0
Is Beast an Ancient Geek?
Is Beast an Ancient Geek?
achilleselbow
+3 -0
He's certainly hairy enough.
He's certainly hairy enough.
sje46
+0 -0
You said wicked and you're not from New England!
Rad
You said wicked and you're not from New England!
Rad
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You said rad and you're not from the 80s in any cultural sense!
Ill
You said rad and you're not from the 80s in any cultural sense!
Ill
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That says ill by the by.
That says ill by the by.
sje46
+0 -0
But I am from the 80s in a I-was-born-then sense.
But I am from the 80s in a I-was-born-then sense.
belgand
+0 -0
That is totally bogus to the max and you know it.
That is totally bogus to the max and you know it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Truth.
Truth.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
did you mean like GRODY to the max?
did you mean like GRODY to the max?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That is not what I meant. That is not it at all.
That is not what I meant. That is not it at all.
belgand
+0 -0
But I am though. I was born in Connecticut.
Frankly I greatly prefer it to the low-sounding "hella" which is a word I most truly do despise.
But I am though. I was born in Connecticut.
Frankly I greatly prefer it to the low-sounding "hella" which is a word I most truly do despise.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I used to but Achewould has made me appreciate the grammatically correct but awkward "hell of."
I used to but Achewould has made me appreciate the grammatically correct but awkward "hell of."
sje46
+0 -0
I prefer heck of. I say things like "I got a heck of a lot of homework" regardless if that is the correct way to say it or not. People don't say "heck of" or "hell of/hella" in New Hampshire.
I prefer heck of. I say things like "I got a heck of a lot of homework" regardless if that is the correct way to say it or not. People don't say "heck of" or "hell of/hella" in New Hampshire.
nonamejoe
+0 -0
Or anywhere else since 2002, so far as I can tell. I could be wrong. I'm heck of no-longer-a-teenager.
Or anywhere else since 2002, so far as I can tell. I could be wrong. I'm heck of no-longer-a-teenager.
hellofditties
+0 -0
I too.
I too.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh. True. Although my mom is from Springfield, MA, and she says people don't use "wicked" there.
Oh. True. Although my mom is from Springfield, MA, and she says people don't use "wicked" there.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Liar, I know people from the area and its "wicked" this and "sketchy" that and "dead ass" this.
Liar, I know people from the area and its "wicked" this and "sketchy" that and "dead ass" this.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm not surprised. I'm sure the usage has spread, or my mother doesn't know what she is talking about. Afterall, she hasn't been there in like twenty years.
Sketchy. That is only a New England thing?
I'm not surprised. I'm sure the usage has spread, or my mother doesn't know what she is talking about. Afterall, she hasn't been there in like twenty years.
Sketchy. That is only a New England thing?
morypcaina
+0 -0
I had heard the word "sketchy" maybe ten times in my life until I moved from the Washington D.C. area to greater Boston.
I had heard the word "sketchy" maybe ten times in my life until I moved from the Washington D.C. area to greater Boston.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
The past few years it seems like people just shorten it to "sketch" as in "that seems kind of sketch".
The past few years it seems like people just shorten it to "sketch" as in "that seems kind of sketch".
sje46
+1 -0
"Ya bein' wicked retahdid and sketch right now, bro."
"Ya bein' wicked retahdid and sketch right now, bro."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I once heard "sketchball" and wanted to strangle the kid. Also "sketched out" is a Thing. I never heard it used in any colloquial sense before college. Sketch to me meant to draw, and sketchy meant shady, not an all-encompassing negative term. This is NOT a lower-NY state phrase, so don't let upstate fool you.
I once heard "sketchball" and wanted to strangle the kid. Also "sketched out" is a Thing. I never heard it used in any colloquial sense before college. Sketch to me meant to draw, and sketchy meant shady, not an all-encompassing negative term. This is NOT a lower-NY state phrase, so don't let upstate fool you.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
'sketch' in colorado.
'sketchy' when we were in eighth grade and didn't know how to talk good.
'sketch' in colorado.
'sketchy' when we were in eighth grade and didn't know how to talk good.
snidedk
+0 -0
I am also from Colorado and I have never in my life heard someone refer to something as "sketch".
I am also from Colorado and I have never in my life heard someone refer to something as "sketch".
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I've heard sketch and sketchy and I live in Florida and I've head it from Floridians.
I've heard sketch and sketchy and I live in Florida and I've head it from Floridians.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It's a new pan-American expression, like how because of Subway everyone calls long sandwiches with an assortment of toppings "subs," while regional variants include hero (what I call it), hoagie, submarine sandwich, and I think grinder? I don't think I'm amiss in thinking sketch is one of these new things.
It's a new pan-American expression, like how because of Subway everyone calls long sandwiches with an assortment of toppings "subs," while regional variants include hero (what I call it), hoagie, submarine sandwich, and I think grinder? I don't think I'm amiss in thinking sketch is one of these new things.
belgand
+0 -0
Every regional phrase aside from sub was incorrect. I am glad for the new order.
Also, people who say pop? They need to be beaten viciously until their retinas detach. I grew up in a pop region and I had to suffer through it for many years. Soda is correct and I'll occasionally even say coke even though I am firmly a Pepsi sort. Hell, I'll even take tonic or seltzer, but no pop and definitely not soda-pop.
Every regional phrase aside from sub was incorrect. I am glad for the new order.
Also, people who say pop? They need to be beaten viciously until their retinas detach. I grew up in a pop region and I had to suffer through it for many years. Soda is correct and I'll occasionally even say coke even though I am firmly a Pepsi sort. Hell, I'll even take tonic or seltzer, but no pop and definitely not soda-pop.
sje46
+0 -0
Tonic. Me mum sez this, she does. Silly bloody wanka.
Tonic. Me mum sez this, she does. Silly bloody wanka.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No, I've heard all of those. Hero is popular round my parts, and hoagie is universally known as Philly-area heroes (or subs). Also I've heard those others used solely because of the packaging on the heroes they sell at my college ("No matter what you call it...it's Panini's!" [the sub shop's name])
No, I've heard all of those. Hero is popular round my parts, and hoagie is universally known as Philly-area heroes (or subs). Also I've heard those others used solely because of the packaging on the heroes they sell at my college ("No matter what you call it...it's Panini's!" [the sub shop's name])
belgand
+0 -0
If it's not pressed and grilled it's not a damn panini. Also, since when do paninis have anything to do at all with subs? Totally wrong.
If it's not pressed and grilled it's not a damn panini. Also, since when do paninis have anything to do at all with subs? Totally wrong.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I know, it makes no sense. But it's also the wrap shop. Hence Panini. But still, it's poor advertising. Don't admonish ME like I don't know, guy.
I know, it makes no sense. But it's also the wrap shop. Hence Panini. But still, it's poor advertising. Don't admonish ME like I don't know, guy.
belgand
+0 -0
If I write a lengthy screed will you go and admonish someone there by proxy?
Thankfully we have such a technology that I can cast my ire around the globe.
If I write a lengthy screed will you go and admonish someone there by proxy?
Thankfully we have such a technology that I can cast my ire around the globe.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Belgand casts Ire!
Coeurl takes 54 damage!
Belgand casts Ira!
Couerl takes 230 damage!
Coeurl was defeated.
Belgand gains 540 exp!
Belgand learns Vitriol!
Belgand casts Ire!
Coeurl takes 54 damage!
Belgand casts Ira!
Couerl takes 230 damage!
Coeurl was defeated.
Belgand gains 540 exp!
Belgand learns Vitriol!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What?? Belgand is evolving!!
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNN DUN
Then I press B.
What?? Belgand is evolving!!
DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNN DUN
Then I press B.
belgand
+0 -0
I threw a Jewish man at... whatever Coeurl is?
I already know Ire and Vitriol, but I've just recently learned Wrath .
I threw a Jewish man at... whatever Coeurl is?
I already know Ire and Vitriol, but I've just recently learned Wrath .
zapatos
+0 -0
Coeurl is effectively a displacer beast.
Coeurl is effectively a displacer beast.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thank you Herbert Walker Bush.
Thank you Herbert Walker Bush.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you must not hang much with snowboarders.
or skaters.
...or anyone cool.
you must not hang much with snowboarders.
or skaters.
...or anyone cool.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Fuck THOSE guys.
Fuck THOSE guys.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i do both. better retract, dude!
retract !
i do both. better retract, dude!
retract !
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You do fuck those guys?
You do fuck those guys?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no but your comment just took me for a ride.
no but your comment just took me for a ride.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i meant like, i both ride and skate
i meant like, i both ride and skate
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I figured. Don't worry, I wasn't insulting you and your subcultures, I was just making a proper Achewood reference.
I figured. Don't worry, I wasn't insulting you and your subcultures, I was just making a proper Achewood reference.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
oh.
well then.
as you were.
oh.
well then.
as you were.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Proceed.
Proceed.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thank you .
Thank you .
wolfensti
+0 -0
My real name Is Pierre-Luc Gagnon.
I highly suggest a retraction on your part
My real name Is Pierre-Luc Gagnon.
I highly suggest a retraction on your part
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Google search...
Wikipedia...
Da-da-da, ten gold medals, Canadian skateboarder, nollie heelflip indy 540, yada yada yada...
Ok I get the reference.
I shall never retract.
Google search...
Wikipedia...
Da-da-da, ten gold medals, Canadian skateboarder, nollie heelflip indy 540, yada yada yada...
Ok I get the reference.
I shall never retract.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Bonjour Boo. I would suggest that your suggestion caused his penis to retract. Good enough?
Bonjour Boo. I would suggest that your suggestion caused his penis to retract. Good enough?
nonamejoe
+0 -0
Except witches, before burning them, am I right?
Except witches, before burning them, am I right?
biff
+1 -0
WTF!
I can't get a plus sign, but I get Greek characters.
Something is Just Not Right .
WTF!
I can't get a plus sign, but I get Greek characters.
Something is Just Not Right .
stereo
+0 -0
Assetbarrista can't fix what's not there. Plus signs get turned into spaces. Greek characters are just coded improperly, so it can fix the way they display.
Assetbarrista can't fix what's not there. Plus signs get turned into spaces. Greek characters are just coded improperly, so it can fix the way they display.
tekende
+1 -0
Ain't no plus sign here
Can't you...
SEE
Ain't no plus sign here
Can't you...
SEE
miaou
+0 -0
At first I thought you knew me personally enough to be that specific about Mr. Gambit. But then I realized my secondary school physics teacher had no bio-kinetic powers. And that he'd never shown any special interest in playing beggar-my-neighbour with me after class (why Mr. Gambit, why). And that he'd never talked about some hairy Greek friend of his, wearing claws in place of a watch/hair, like any normal hairy Greek guy would.
MONSIEUR GAMBIT!
At first I thought you knew me personally enough to be that specific about Mr. Gambit. But then I realized my secondary school physics teacher had no bio-kinetic powers. And that he'd never shown any special interest in playing beggar-my-neighbour with me after class (why Mr. Gambit, why). And that he'd never talked about some hairy Greek friend of his, wearing claws in place of a watch/hair, like any normal hairy Greek guy would.
MONSIEUR GAMBIT!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
NO it must be left in ENGLISH. DO NOT ARGUE WITH THE GENIUS.
NO it must be left in ENGLISH. DO NOT ARGUE WITH THE GENIUS.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Miaou a raison, Mr. Nice
Miaou a raison, Mr. Nice
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Halt diene Schnauze, herr wolfensti.
Halt diene Schnauze, herr wolfensti.
rowboat
+0 -0
Goddamn! I don't know who means what!
Goddamn! I don't know who means what!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Nobody means anything anymore!
Nobody means anything anymore!
binlaggin
+0 -0
I was hella depressed from the strip (the 'sad childhood' strips always get me) but this exchange cheered me up. Thanks guys.
I was hella depressed from the strip (the 'sad childhood' strips always get me) but this exchange cheered me up. Thanks guys.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ah well. Nothing to be done.
Ah well. Nothing to be done.
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
I like that this comment got pushed way far away from what it was originally addressing but still makes perfect sense given all the comments that pushed it away.
I like that.
Quote:
Goddamn! I don't know who means what!
I like that this comment got pushed way far away from what it was originally addressing but still makes perfect sense given all the comments that pushed it away.
I like that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Do you like that it means there are WAY TOO MANY COMMENTS ON ASSETBAR OH MY GOD GRAEWFSDF
Do you like that it means there are WAY TOO MANY COMMENTS ON ASSETBAR OH MY GOD GRAEWFSDF
rowboat
+0 -0
I, for one, like that there are a lot of comments on Assetbar, even if it does mean that my home computer won't be able to bring it up pretty soon. I already had to set my lame limit to 1 just to get it to load. Soon I'll have to temporarily ignore the most prolific posters on the board (sorry in advance Nice and GH - nothin' personal, dudes) until tomorrow when I go back to my relatively able work computer.
I, for one, like that there are a lot of comments on Assetbar, even if it does mean that my home computer won't be able to bring it up pretty soon. I already had to set my lame limit to 1 just to get it to load. Soon I'll have to temporarily ignore the most prolific posters on the board (sorry in advance Nice and GH - nothin' personal, dudes) until tomorrow when I go back to my relatively able work computer.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I AM PERSONALLY OFFENDED.
PERSONALLY.
I AM PERSONALLY OFFENDED.
PERSONALLY.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
ME TOO
CAPS
ME TOO
CAPS
theguitarhero
+0 -0
CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, I see that I didn't miss out on much. That's good.
Well, I see that I didn't miss out on much. That's good.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Wouldn't you prefer me and TGH riffing than more serious Assetbarbarians ranting and raving for 5 paragraphs about the quality and frequency of 'Bar posts?
Wouldn't you prefer me and TGH riffing than more serious Assetbarbarians ranting and raving for 5 paragraphs about the quality and frequency of 'Bar posts?
rowboat
+0 -0
Depends on my mood, I guess. Sometimes, yes.
Depends on my mood, I guess. Sometimes, yes.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm talking about right now. Should we talk about bunnies in all caps or discuss post-modernism? ASSETBAR'S GOT IT ALL (oh shirt, caps).
I'm talking about right now. Should we talk about bunnies in all caps or discuss post-modernism? ASSETBAR'S GOT IT ALL (oh shirt, caps).
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Punch teeth out, win a prize.
Punch teeth out, win a prize.
sje46
+0 -0
Humor and pathos are not antipodes. I think I read that that is John Irving's philosophy with writing.
In b4 "John Irving sucks" which is bound to come, and which is probably more of the cancer of /assetbar/ than all the 4chan references.
Humor and pathos are not antipodes. I think I read that that is John Irving's philosophy with writing.
In b4 "John Irving sucks" which is bound to come, and which is probably more of the cancer of /assetbar/ than all the 4chan references.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
John Irving sux.
John Irving sux.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Yes. There is even a "kernel" of truth in the strip.
No. Every good joke does not have truth. (To wit: My mother is neither fat nor does she beep when she backs up).
Yes. There is even a "kernel" of truth in the strip.
No. Every good joke does not have truth. (To wit: My mother is neither fat nor does she beep when she backs up).
hedonismbot
+0 -0
She IS promiscuous, right? Let at least that part of the joke be true
She IS promiscuous, right? Let at least that part of the joke be true
connormc
+4 -0
That's the beauty of Achewood, though - it doesn't have to be funny every single time. How many of the strips leading up to Beef asking Molly to marry him were laugh-out-loud funny? How funny was "The Math" (the highest rated strip in Achewood's archive)? Dilbert and Garfield are obligated to be funny in every strip (an obligation rarely met) because there's no character development and there's no sincerity. But this is Beef and this is Achewood and we know this dude way too well to think he's just gonna mass-produce laughs for us. He's too good for that.
(Hella attachment to these dudes, all.)
That's the beauty of Achewood, though - it doesn't have to be funny every single time. How many of the strips leading up to Beef asking Molly to marry him were laugh-out-loud funny? How funny was "The Math" (the highest rated strip in Achewood's archive)? Dilbert and Garfield are obligated to be funny in every strip (an obligation rarely met) because there's no character development and there's no sincerity. But this is Beef and this is Achewood and we know this dude way too well to think he's just gonna mass-produce laughs for us. He's too good for that.
(Hella attachment to these dudes, all.)
celesticles
+2 -0
I thought the Math was funny because Phillipe pissed himself during his big moment as the ring-bearer.
I thought the Math was funny because Phillipe pissed himself during his big moment as the ring-bearer.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Funny, yes, but the sweetness was much more overwhelming. Beef's reminiscing of his life put my bladder by my eye (McCourt readers? Anyone?).
Funny, yes, but the sweetness was much more overwhelming. Beef's reminiscing of his life put my bladder by my eye (McCourt readers? Anyone?).
daidai
+1 -0
I may be the only person who was disappointed in any way by "The Math" -- though only because I expected Phillippe to ride an AIBO-dogsled to the altar with the ring.
... would've been awesome
I may be the only person who was disappointed in any way by "The Math" -- though only because I expected Phillippe to ride an AIBO-dogsled to the altar with the ring.
... would've been awesome
celesticles
+0 -0
I don't read McCourt, and I understand what it's implying, but that imagery is fucking gross.
I don't read McCourt, and I understand what it's implying, but that imagery is fucking gross.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:(
Read Angela's Ashes and 'Tis and come back to me with that Sass.
:(
Read Angela's Ashes and 'Tis and come back to me with that Sass.
celesticles
+0 -0
Are you saying if I insult your McCourt references I've entered a world where the only activity that exists is tasting your hog?
Because we wouldn't want anything like that to happen.
Are you saying if I insult your McCourt references I've entered a world where the only activity that exists is tasting your hog?
Because we wouldn't want anything like that to happen.
theguitarhero
+3 -0
The dude has a bladder in his eye, you better hope the only thing you are taste is his dong.
The dude has a bladder in his eye, you better hope the only thing you are taste is his dong.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Bladder in my eye, hot black colon water in my toilet, and a hog that needs fluffing. You have entered a new ring of hell, my friend, and having you head chewed on would be your only sweet escape.
Retract.
Bladder in my eye, hot black colon water in my toilet, and a hog that needs fluffing. You have entered a new ring of hell, my friend, and having you head chewed on would be your only sweet escape.
Retract.
theguitarhero
+2 -0
YO DOUCHEBAG UR BODY IZ FUCKD ^ SO HXC LOL LOOK @ DIS FUCKER. CAN'T SHIT PROPRLE & HAZ A BLADER IN HIZ FACE.
YO DOUCHEBAG UR BODY IZ FUCKD ^ SO HXC LOL LOOK @ DIS FUCKER. CAN'T SHIT PROPRLE & HAZ A BLADER IN HIZ FACE.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I NO DAM N IM TUFF AS HELL
I NO DAM N IM TUFF AS HELL
wolfensti
+0 -0
Implied knowledege of Dante . I say awesome
Implied knowledege of Dante . I say awesome
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm an awesome guy, what can I say?
I'm an awesome guy, what can I say?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Thank you, parents?
Thank you, parents?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thank you, personality trainer.
Thank you, personality trainer.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Thank you mom, thank you dad, thank you college?
Thank you mom, thank you dad, thank you college?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was thinking that but then I didn't want to type it because.
I was thinking that but then I didn't want to type it because.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Theguitarhero: saying shit you were thinking but weren't gonna say since 1990!
Theguitarhero: saying shit you were thinking but weren't gonna say since 1990!
biff
+0 -0
That long?????
That long?????
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He was born and after his lungs were cleared and he took his first breath said "Blacks should pull themselves up by their bootstraps" and the doctor and his parents were like "Well uh..."
Just so no one thinks I'm racist
John Campbell thinks so too
He was born and after his lungs were cleared and he took his first breath said "Blacks should pull themselves up by their bootstraps" and the doctor and his parents were like "Well uh..."
Just so no one thinks I'm racist
John Campbell thinks so too
zapatos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Angela was a superb, brutal read, and I don't read novels much anymore. Didn't they make a movie of it?
Angela was a superb, brutal read, and I don't read novels much anymore. Didn't they make a movie of it?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Clarification: Angela's Ashes is not a novel. It is a memoir.
Clarification: Angela's Ashes is not a novel. It is a memoir.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Clarification: you're a dick about terms but probably a good person overall. I'm willing to bet McCourt took creative liberties in all his memoirs, making them novels. Either that or he has a remarkable memory.
Also: amazing writing style that reflects Assetbar writing like no other. Maybe "Ulysses," actually.
Clarification: you're a dick about terms but probably a good person overall. I'm willing to bet McCourt took creative liberties in all his memoirs, making them novels. Either that or he has a remarkable memory.
Also: amazing writing style that reflects Assetbar writing like no other. Maybe "Ulysses," actually.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
The fact that McCourt mocks prissy over-erudite prose (i.e./e.g. Joyce) in AA gives lie to your "Maybe/Actually," actually.
The fact that McCourt mocks prissy over-erudite prose (i.e./e.g. Joyce) in AA gives lie to your "Maybe/Actually," actually.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I don't remember that. The only thing I'm referencing is the stream of consciousness-type writing.
HOORAY FOR CAPTAIN SPAULDING, THE OVER-ANALYTICAL EXPLORER.
I don't remember that. The only thing I'm referencing is the stream of consciousness-type writing.
HOORAY FOR CAPTAIN SPAULDING, THE OVER-ANALYTICAL EXPLORER.
kamet
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
biff
+0 -0
C'mon, KaMeT , stop being an amateur!
C'mon, KaMeT , stop being an amateur!
belgand
+0 -0
Not to increase the posts here unnecessarily, but I highly suggest https://tinypic.com . It gets heavy use on some of the main message boards that run tons of traffic and I never see any problems with bandwidth. Lots of the other hosting sites drop out fairly quickly.
Not to increase the posts here unnecessarily, but I highly suggest https://tinypic.com . It gets heavy use on some of the main message boards that run tons of traffic and I never see any problems with bandwidth. Lots of the other hosting sites drop out fairly quickly.
krutus
+0 -0
Joyce is "prissy"? As in like a prude? Not to me. Anyway. Has anyone read "The Third Policeman" by Flann O'Brian? I've always thought that Onstad and O'Brian have a similar sense of the surreal.
Joyce is "prissy"? As in like a prude? Not to me. Anyway. Has anyone read "The Third Policeman" by Flann O'Brian? I've always thought that Onstad and O'Brian have a similar sense of the surreal.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Fair point, JJ is certainly not prudish (rather bawdy, actually). I stand by the over-erudite assessment though -- with the death of a true classics-based education, Joyce will continue to slip beyond the reach of average readers (if not for a childhood of liturgical Latin, I would be lost).
Fair point, JJ is certainly not prudish (rather bawdy, actually). I stand by the over-erudite assessment though -- with the death of a true classics-based education, Joyce will continue to slip beyond the reach of average readers (if not for a childhood of liturgical Latin, I would be lost).
nice-on-water
+0 -0
True, without a full Shakespeare anthology, a Bible, a Torah, a Greek or Latin dictionary, and an encyclopedia of Irish folklore, things like Ulysses are daunting.
True, without a full Shakespeare anthology, a Bible, a Torah, a Greek or Latin dictionary, and an encyclopedia of Irish folklore, things like Ulysses are daunting.
krutus
+0 -0
Yeah, can't argue with the over-erudite claim, and I agree that Joyce's fate will be a sad one. Sad because properly armed with a Bible and a Torah et al, the experience of reading and re-reading Ulysses is more rewarding than any other. But as the man himself said: "The only thing I will ever ask of my readers is that they devote their entire lives to reading and understanding my works."
Yeah, can't argue with the over-erudite claim, and I agree that Joyce's fate will be a sad one. Sad because properly armed with a Bible and a Torah et al, the experience of reading and re-reading Ulysses is more rewarding than any other. But as the man himself said: "The only thing I will ever ask of my readers is that they devote their entire lives to reading and understanding my works."
sje46
+0 -0
Close
%u201CThe demand that I make of my reader is that he should devote his whole Life to reading my works%u201D
But I was not aware of that quote. That's hilarious. And the funny thing is that people have actually done that.
%u201CI've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's immortality.%u201D
Close
%u201CThe demand that I make of my reader is that he should devote his whole Life to reading my works%u201D
But I was not aware of that quote. That's hilarious. And the funny thing is that people have actually done that.
%u201CI've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's immortality.%u201D
sje46
+0 -0
Ulysses is probably the hardest well-known book in the English language to read, besides Finnegans Wake, which has a Skeleton Key.
But Sparknotes sure does help with Ulysses though. Does anyone remember my Furlysses furfiction?
And Joyce is far from prude, especially in his day. The guy loved talking about defecation, sex, jacking off, prostitutes, and women showing off their legs to strangers
Ulysses is probably the hardest well-known book in the English language to read, besides Finnegans Wake, which has a Skeleton Key.
But Sparknotes sure does help with Ulysses though. Does anyone remember my Furlysses furfiction?
And Joyce is far from prude, especially in his day. The guy loved talking about defecation, sex, jacking off, prostitutes, and women showing off their legs to strangers
krutus
+0 -0
I am lunatic enough to devote my life to reading and understanding Ulysses, but Finnegans Wake has defeated me, every time I have ever attempted to read it on any level.
Furlysses furfiction? That sounds... fantastic.
I am lunatic enough to devote my life to reading and understanding Ulysses, but Finnegans Wake has defeated me, every time I have ever attempted to read it on any level.
Furlysses furfiction? That sounds... fantastic.
sje46
+5 -0
I wrote it on "Ray's Dinner Party" a while ago.
"...I was a Fox of the mountain yiff when I put the rose in my fur like the Andalusian raccoons used or shall I wear a red yiff and how he rubbed me under the hedge and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my snout to ask again yiff and then he asked me would I yiff to say yiff my mountain fox and first I put my hind legs around him yiff and drew him down to me so he could feel my teats all musk yiff and his heart was going like mad and yiff I barked yiff I will Yiff. "
That's pretty much it. :)
I wrote it on "Ray's Dinner Party" a while ago.
"...I was a Fox of the mountain yiff when I put the rose in my fur like the Andalusian raccoons used or shall I wear a red yiff and how he rubbed me under the hedge and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my snout to ask again yiff and then he asked me would I yiff to say yiff my mountain fox and first I put my hind legs around him yiff and drew him down to me so he could feel my teats all musk yiff and his heart was going like mad and yiff I barked yiff I will Yiff. "
That's pretty much it. :)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I love you.
I love you.
belgand
+0 -0
You better put on a fursuit to do that or take it outside buddy.
You better put on a fursuit to do that or take it outside buddy.
daidai
+0 -0
Somebody did a Death of a Salesman one that was pretty funny.
Except now I can't ever play that scene again because I think of that and laugh immediately.
Somebody did a Death of a Salesman one that was pretty funny.
Except now I can't ever play that scene again because I think of that and laugh immediately.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm sureY Biff laughed too, when he heard.
I'm sure
biff
+0 -0
Wha?
Wha?
sje46
+0 -0
Are you aware that Biff is a character in that play?
Are you aware that Biff is a character in that play?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
The image of Peter Cropes laughing his ass off at a production of Death of a Salesman....has much merit. Gawd, much merit.
The image of Peter Cropes laughing his ass off at a production of Death of a Salesman....has much merit. Gawd, much merit.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Thank you. It's coming back to me now in all its dreary sadness. Thank you so very much.
Thank you. It's coming back to me now in all its dreary sadness. Thank you so very much.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Give 'Tis a read. The "Angela's ashes" part finally comes into play and is quite jerking of the tears.
Give 'Tis a read. The "Angela's ashes" part finally comes into play and is quite jerking of the tears.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You guys are both crazy. This is the first strip I've actually laughed at in months. Or is it maybe that I hadn't laughed because I got depression?
Hmm.
You guys are both crazy. This is the first strip I've actually laughed at in months. Or is it maybe that I hadn't laughed because I got depression?
Hmm.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
We have to laugh at those who can't laugh themselves.
We have to laugh at those who can't laugh themselves.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
If i_love_kate laughs at every man who can't laugh at himself, who laughs at i_love_kate?
If i_love_kate laughs at every man who can't laugh at himself, who laughs at i_love_kate?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
God.
God.
stereo
+0 -0
It's not some kind of exclusive. He also laughs at people who are laughing themselves.
It's not some kind of exclusive. He also laughs at people who are laughing themselves.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I just kind of sit there and laugh.
I just kind of sit there and laugh.
kamet
+2 -0
Kate.
Kate.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
OHHHHH GOD
OHHHHH GOD
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I got fired from my job as a psychiatric nurse for doing just that.
I got fired from my job as a psychiatric nurse for doing just that.
belgand
+0 -0
Achewood is capable of drama as well as comedy and I think that's one of the key draws. One inevitably informs the other.
Achewood is capable of drama as well as comedy and I think that's one of the key draws. One inevitably informs the other.
terebikun
+0 -0
a friend of mine died from not being funny. not a good strip.
a friend of mine died from not being funny. not a good strip.
awko
+5 -0
There are somethings that even losers don't lose.
Such as virginity.
There are somethings that even losers don't lose.
Such as virginity.
kickstart
+2 -0
That contradicts one of Tom Petty's main theses
That contradicts one of Tom Petty's main theses
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I have a Great Tom Petty anecdote about a loser.
I have a Great Tom Petty anecdote about a loser.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Does it still count as a loss if you pay to have it taken away?
Why is the verb "lose" anyway -- its not like you don't know where it went. (Maybe "I Shed my virginity" is more accurate.
Does it still count as a loss if you pay to have it taken away?
Why is the verb "lose" anyway -- its not like you don't know where it went. (Maybe "I Shed my virginity" is more accurate.
biff
+0 -0
Considering what a lousy time I had, and the disease she gave me, I would say squandered is a better term.
I squandered my virginity .
And then after that she wanted to marry me. Go figure.
Considering what a lousy time I had, and the disease she gave me, I would say squandered is a better term.
I squandered my virginity .
And then after that she wanted to marry me. Go figure.
rowboat
+0 -0
At least that disease is curable. I'm sure I don't have to tell you.
At least that disease is curable. I'm sure I don't have to tell you.
biff
+0 -0
Which disease? The clap? Or marriage?
I had the former just the one time, and it was cured with tetracycline.
I had the latter twice. The cure was not so simple either time, but I have few lingering effects.
Which disease? The clap? Or marriage?
I had the former just the one time, and it was cured with tetracycline.
I had the latter twice. The cure was not so simple either time, but I have few lingering effects.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
There's a microphone in a 1960s Catskills lodge with your name on it.
There's a microphone in a 1960s Catskills lodge with your name on it.
rowboat
+0 -0
The latter.
The latter.
belgand
+0 -0
Which one was more suppurative, I think, is the greater question.
Which one was more suppurative, I think, is the greater question.
celesticles
+0 -0
Man, Roast Beef really puts my life into perspective.
Although he's a cartoon cat, he makes me realize I have no place being upset about anything.
Man, Roast Beef really puts my life into perspective.
Although he's a cartoon cat, he makes me realize I have no place being upset about anything.
celesticles
+0 -0
Also, the fact that young Ray has a shirt with an "R" on it makes me much more happy than it should.
Man, as an artist focusing on illustration in college, it's really inspiring reading Achewood. The hilarious little things I find after I've read it over a few times are extraordinary.
Also, the fact that young Ray has a shirt with an "R" on it makes me much more happy than it should.
Man, as an artist focusing on illustration in college, it's really inspiring reading Achewood. The hilarious little things I find after I've read it over a few times are extraordinary.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Like Archie's incessant little Cooper Black bastard "A."
Like Archie's incessant little Cooper Black bastard "A."
celesticles
+0 -0
I'd expect it from Ray today, but the fact that young Ray has the shirt is great to me.
I'd expect it from Ray today, but the fact that young Ray has the shirt is great to me.
celesticles
+2 -0
And don't worry Beef, they're all eating Burger King too.
And don't worry Beef, they're all eating Burger King too.
falseprophet
+29 -0
This is the most complete summary of what is the illogical nature of the mental process that a depressed man has. The idea that you should give a shit that other people give a shit when they really don't give a shit because you think yours is the only shit that stinks.
Just remember, "They're all eating Burger King too."
When you are 23 years old and you've just gotten your driver's license to the first time and you think "I am finally a man" and you see a dude driving in a sports car and you think "Shit, this guy's had a driver's license since forever so he's probably had mad bonin' activities in the back of them on hilltops with real girls" and then suddenly he parks and steps out of the car and you realize how short he is, you will think to yourself, "Damn, I guess he's eating Burger King, too."
When you are at a party that is playing hip hop music you enjoy but you'd rather be at home listening to Japanese pop rock with an otaku lady you met at Otakon but then a cute girl walks through the door and you are ready to throw down your game until your friend who is well-storied with the ladies comes along drunk and starts to chat her up and she smiles like she is interested and your smile crumbles down but then you walk by and hear that he is talking some mess about how much he loves Scandinavian death metal and from up close you can see that her smile is a fake you will realize, "Damn, turns out he's eating Burger King, too."
When you are sitting at home on a Friday night wishing that you had a lady and you are refreshing Assetbar over and over again responding to someone's comments and some dude is annoying you about his sexual encounters that occur with regularity just take a step back and look at what day and time it is and remember, "He's eating Burger King, too."
And what's more, you will be a man, my son.
This is the most complete summary of what is the illogical nature of the mental process that a depressed man has. The idea that you should give a shit that other people give a shit when they really don't give a shit because you think yours is the only shit that stinks.
Just remember, "They're all eating Burger King too."
When you are 23 years old and you've just gotten your driver's license to the first time and you think "I am finally a man" and you see a dude driving in a sports car and you think "Shit, this guy's had a driver's license since forever so he's probably had mad bonin' activities in the back of them on hilltops with real girls" and then suddenly he parks and steps out of the car and you realize how short he is, you will think to yourself, "Damn, I guess he's eating Burger King, too."
When you are at a party that is playing hip hop music you enjoy but you'd rather be at home listening to Japanese pop rock with an otaku lady you met at Otakon but then a cute girl walks through the door and you are ready to throw down your game until your friend who is well-storied with the ladies comes along drunk and starts to chat her up and she smiles like she is interested and your smile crumbles down but then you walk by and hear that he is talking some mess about how much he loves Scandinavian death metal and from up close you can see that her smile is a fake you will realize, "Damn, turns out he's eating Burger King, too."
When you are sitting at home on a Friday night wishing that you had a lady and you are refreshing Assetbar over and over again responding to someone's comments and some dude is annoying you about his sexual encounters that occur with regularity just take a step back and look at what day and time it is and remember, "He's eating Burger King, too."
And what's more, you will be a man, my son.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Remember kids, we all have assholes, and we are all going to die!
Knowing is half the battle!
Remember kids, we all have assholes, and we are all going to die!
Knowing is half the battle!
belgand
+0 -0
Damn I knew that King was awesome and tended to be in my bed all the damn time, but I didn't know he got that much play.
Damn I knew that King was awesome and tended to be in my bed all the damn time, but I didn't know he got that much play.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
BURGER KING'S A HOOO-ERRRR.
BURGER KING'S A HOOO-ERRRR.
kickstart
+0 -0
The password to Burger King is ooooooorrrrrrgy
The password to Burger King is ooooooorrrrrrgy
belgand
+0 -0
None of your half-naked buffet parties here. Take it across the street to Jack in the Box. At least Jack does ads about sleazy 1970s hot tub threeways.
None of your half-naked buffet parties here. Take it across the street to Jack in the Box. At least Jack does ads about sleazy 1970s hot tub threeways.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I guess you're eating Burger King too.
:')
I guess you're eating Burger King too.
:')
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Talking about Scandinavian death metal got me virtually all of the scant instances of play I've ever had! Retract, dude, retract!
Talking about Scandinavian death metal got me virtually all of the scant instances of play I've ever had! Retract, dude, retract!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Scandinavian death metal came to mind when my college got hit with an ice storm and we had to be evacuated because of power outages leading to a "pandemic" as described by the school:
ICE STORM PANDEMIC
DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN
Scandinavian death metal came to mind when my college got hit with an ice storm and we had to be evacuated because of power outages leading to a "pandemic" as described by the school:
ICE STORM PANDEMIC
DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN
wozzeck
+3 -0
Apparently your college doesn't know what words mean.
Apparently your college doesn't know what words mean.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Not enough power to sustain all those students = pandemic. I don't know. At least my finals got canceled.
Not enough power to sustain all those students = pandemic. I don't know. At least my finals got canceled.
desert_donkey
+2 -0
Must be a Liberal Arts college.
according to Noam Chomsky, the most important thing about college is experience different and new cultures. the learning a skill that is marketable is hell of overrated. Just have fun, spend money, get drugs, booze, sex.. have fun, learn something new.
and that piece of paper you get for $30-$40,000 when you leave.. that's accepted anywhere. Employers just want to know you went to college what you learned, if anything, is incosequential. As long as you, you know, learned about other cultures.
- Noam Chomsky
Must be a Liberal Arts college.
according to Noam Chomsky, the most important thing about college is experience different and new cultures. the learning a skill that is marketable is hell of overrated. Just have fun, spend money, get drugs, booze, sex.. have fun, learn something new.
and that piece of paper you get for $30-$40,000 when you leave.. that's accepted anywhere. Employers just want to know you went to college what you learned, if anything, is incosequential. As long as you, you know, learned about other cultures.
- Noam Chomsky
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah, hella liberal arts there. Come on down to the hard sciences or engineering or one of the fields where your degree matters and try to pull that.
Yeah, hella liberal arts there. Come on down to the hard sciences or engineering or one of the fields where your degree matters and try to pull that.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
How can you say "retract, dude, retract" when you appear to be circumcised?
How can you say "retract, dude, retract" when you appear to be circumcised?
anticitizen
+0 -0
maybe it's a magic trick?
maybe it's a magic trick?
rowboat
+0 -0
maybe it's a magic dick?
maybe it's a magic dick?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
maybe he's got the magic stick?
maybe he's got the magic stick?
tekende
+2 -0
Maybe it's Mabelline?
Maybe it's Mabelline?
sje46
+0 -2
That reference is not wanted here.
Please leave.
That reference is not wanted here.
Please leave.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe she's born with it.
thesoulbear
+0 -0
Inspiring.
Inspiring.
morypcaina
+0 -0
Yeah, but my friend's gonna be eating Arby's too.
Yeah, but my friend's gonna be eating Arby's too.
modality
+0 -0
I feel this way when I'm in a Walmart. So I go to Target, which is inherently classier.
I feel this way when I'm in a Walmart. So I go to Target, which is inherently classier.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I feel the same way. I was forced to Walmart the other day, and while noting that the decor is less cheerful than Target and that there's invariably more people at Walmart, I saw a girl I knew from 10th grade who was pregnant at the time and now, at 19, she was at Walmart with her 4 year old child, and I thought to myself "This is definitely Walmart."
I feel the same way. I was forced to Walmart the other day, and while noting that the decor is less cheerful than Target and that there's invariably more people at Walmart, I saw a girl I knew from 10th grade who was pregnant at the time and now, at 19, she was at Walmart with her 4 year old child, and I thought to myself "This is definitely Walmart."
achilleselbow
+1 -0
When you see a fat whore,
and her kids number four,
you're at Wal-Mart!
When you see a fat whore,
and her kids number four,
you're at Wal-Mart!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
When pushing your wagon
Behind a huge ass a-draggin'
You're at Wal-Mart!
When pushing your wagon
Behind a huge ass a-draggin'
You're at Wal-Mart!
rowboat
+0 -0
When you're looking for great deals
And you love the way it feels
You're at Wal-Mart!
When you're looking for great deals
And you love the way it feels
You're at Wal-Mart!
rowboat
+2 -0
Also:
When you're an African immigrant just working a temp gig, trying to make ends meet when several hundred insane suburbanites bust down the door and all take turns stepping on you until all of your internal organs have been smashed and most of your bones, too, and the place only closes for as long as it takes to mop your sorry ass up....
You're at Wal-Mart!
Also:
When you're an African immigrant just working a temp gig, trying to make ends meet when several hundred insane suburbanites bust down the door and all take turns stepping on you until all of your internal organs have been smashed and most of your bones, too, and the place only closes for as long as it takes to mop your sorry ass up....
You're at Wal-Mart!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ooh, ooh, that took place sort of near me!
Also:
When you're looking for jeans
And they sit in baked beans
You're at Wal-Mart!
Backstory: I once was at Wal-Mart and went to grab a shirt I semi-liked and when I picked it up it was sitting in a basket of nachos and cheese. :{
Ooh, ooh, that took place sort of near me!
Also:
When you're looking for jeans
And they sit in baked beans
You're at Wal-Mart!
Backstory: I once was at Wal-Mart and went to grab a shirt I semi-liked and when I picked it up it was sitting in a basket of nachos and cheese. :{
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
Either you're joking or Target's ad people have really done a number on you. For the sake of my feelings toward you, I'll assume the former.
Quote:
...Target...inherently classier.
Either you're joking or Target's ad people have really done a number on you. For the sake of my feelings toward you, I'll assume the former.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Have you ever been to a Target after being in a Wal-Mart? Night and day!
Have you ever been to a Target after being in a Wal-Mart? Night and day!
rowboat
+0 -0
Hey, man - I probably go to Target, like, three times a week. Most of my clothes come from there. But thinking that it's any different from Wal-Mart is crazy. You just like red better then blue. That's all it comes down to.
I do, too! It's OK!
Hey, man - I probably go to Target, like, three times a week. Most of my clothes come from there. But thinking that it's any different from Wal-Mart is crazy. You just like red better then blue. That's all it comes down to.
I do, too! It's OK!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's different! Totally different! I swear!
It's different! Totally different! I swear!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No, that's not it! They're friendlier! Cleaner! A higher class of people shop and work there! An overall more amicable atmosphere assuages the air around all that enter its ethereal ecstasy and effervescent entity! So say I.
No, that's not it! They're friendlier! Cleaner! A higher class of people shop and work there! An overall more amicable atmosphere assuages the air around all that enter its ethereal ecstasy and effervescent entity! So say I.
tekende
+0 -0
Generally, Target's clothes are much higher quality than Wal-Mart's. For one thing.
Generally, Target's clothes are much higher quality than Wal-Mart's. For one thing.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Plus one. I just bought a nice shirt there AND a bitchin' hat, one of those fedoras you'd imagine a 50something year old rich Jew in Palm Springs wearing with horn-rimmed glasses and a Hawaiian shirt tucked into some nice chinos, circa 1961. I had a vision of what I want to be when I put it on, let's say.
Plus one. I just bought a nice shirt there AND a bitchin' hat, one of those fedoras you'd imagine a 50something year old rich Jew in Palm Springs wearing with horn-rimmed glasses and a Hawaiian shirt tucked into some nice chinos, circa 1961. I had a vision of what I want to be when I put it on, let's say.
rowboat
+0 -0
A dick?
A dick?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
rowboat
+0 -0
A dick.
A dick.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Surely.
Surely.
rowboat
+0 -0
Just to clarify:
[IMGS OFF]
Just to clarify:
[IMGS OFF]
rowboat
+0 -0
Just make sure that you're in your forties before you wear it out of the house. Also, work on your steely gaze. I just don't want you to end up looking like a Honda Goldwing riding sword collector.
That's right - I care what you look like.
Just make sure that you're in your forties before you wear it out of the house. Also, work on your steely gaze. I just don't want you to end up looking like a Honda Goldwing riding sword collector.
That's right - I care what you look like.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It actually had the shorter 60s type brim, so maybe it's not really a fedora but it's the first name that came to mind.
This is the closest thing I could find:
[IMGS OFF]
"Oh Karen dear, another martini for me and Hank here, we're absolutely parched from the first batch BAHAHAHAHA"
::Karen slips cyanide into Burt and Hank's martinis::
It actually had the shorter 60s type brim, so maybe it's not really a fedora but it's the first name that came to mind.
This is the closest thing I could find:
[IMGS OFF]
"Oh Karen dear, another martini for me and Hank here, we're absolutely parched from the first batch BAHAHAHAHA"
::Karen slips cyanide into Burt and Hank's martinis::
rowboat
+0 -0
I could be wrong, but I think that'd be considered more of a pork pie hat. They're a bit easier to pull off. For a fedora to work at all, one's style must be basically bullet proof.
I could be wrong, but I think that'd be considered more of a pork pie hat. They're a bit easier to pull off. For a fedora to work at all, one's style must be basically bullet proof.
zapatos
+0 -0
Look everyone, Rowboat's wearing a fedora!
Look everyone, Rowboat's wearing a fedora!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I didn't want to say porkpie hat because I didn't think it was right but I did want to say it because of the obvious Achewood reference. But ok, a porkpie it is.
I didn't want to say porkpie hat because I didn't think it was right but I did want to say it because of the obvious Achewood reference. But ok, a porkpie it is.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm assuming you've never been in either a Target or a Walmart.
Target>Walmart
Target is classier than Walmart.
I'm assuming you've never been in either a Target or a Walmart.
Target>Walmart
Target is classier than Walmart.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It's okay, tgh, we know we're right. I just wish other people could know it too.
It's okay, tgh, we know we're right. I just wish other people could know it too.
rowboat
+0 -0
Ya'll some Target shoppers.
Ya'll some Target shoppers.
hamscout
+0 -0
Hey guys, fuck Kohl's, huh? amirite? wait...
Hey guys, fuck Kohl's, huh? amirite? wait...
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, you can't pull that shit on me, Hammy. I'm your Facebook friend. I know that you just officially became a fan of Kohl's.
Oh, you can't pull that shit on me, Hammy. I'm your Facebook friend. I know that you just officially became a fan of Kohl's.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The plot thickens...
The plot thickens...
hamscout
+0 -0
It's...It's not TRUE, I tell you!
I want you all to expect great things of me!
oh god, it's happening again!
*tortured scream*
It's...It's not TRUE, I tell you!
I want you all to expect great things of me!
oh god, it's happening again!
*tortured scream*
biff
+0 -0
When I shop at Target, I just feel annoyed, and borderline disgusted.
When I shop at WalMart, I begin to feel my IQ dropping as I pull into the parking lot. By the time I get to the checkout, I have a hard time remembering the Quadratic Formula.
When I shop at Target, I just feel annoyed, and borderline disgusted.
When I shop at WalMart, I begin to feel my IQ dropping as I pull into the parking lot. By the time I get to the checkout, I have a hard time remembering the Quadratic Formula.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh, that's no big deal, I forgot that when I graduated high school.
Oh, that's no big deal, I forgot that when I graduated high school.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It's a big deal to biff. It's the equivalent of sudden onset of Alzheimers/diabetes to him. Which would be scary.
It's a big deal to biff. It's the equivalent of sudden onset of Alzheimers/diabetes to him. Which would be scary.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well if he don't like it, he oughta make like a tree and...uh...
Well if he don't like it, he oughta make like a tree and...uh...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Get out?
Get out?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
;)
;)
biff
+0 -0
Yes.
I usually limit my visits to WalMart to once a year at the most.
Yes.
I usually limit my visits to WalMart to once a year at the most.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That was my first trip in a good three years so I ain't sweating it none.
That was my first trip in a good three years so I ain't sweating it none.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Last time I went was Thanksgiving and it was to a Walmart in an "urban" area of Virginia.
oh my god.
Last time I went was Thanksgiving and it was to a Walmart in an "urban" area of Virginia.
oh my god.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:(
Then again, rural Virginia is probably 100x worse.
:(
Then again, rural Virginia is probably 100x worse.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
most likely oh yes. I had to go to West Virginia for my uncle's wedding.
oh my god.
most likely oh yes. I had to go to West Virginia for my uncle's wedding.
oh my god.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WHERE MEN ARE COAL AND WOMEN HAVE COAL ON THEIR LIPS
WHERE MEN ARE COAL AND WOMEN HAVE COAL ON THEIR LIPS
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WHERE MEN ARE MEN AND WOMEN ARE SOMETIMES MEN TOO.
WHERE MEN ARE MEN AND WOMEN ARE SOMETIMES MEN TOO.
biff
+0 -0
Exactly.
The Quadratic Formula would be my tattoo!!!
Exactly.
The Quadratic Formula would be my tattoo!!!
redphillip
+0 -0
Flaseprophet, you have been hell of on fire lately!
Flaseprophet, you have been hell of on fire lately!
paul9
+0 -0
falseprophet is the father we never had.
falseprophet is the father we never had.
aliiis
+0 -0
This asset rocked my can so much, just FYI. More than the strip, if I am honest. Thanks falsie!
(P.S. I still have a provisional licence)
This asset rocked my can so much, just FYI. More than the strip, if I am honest. Thanks falsie!
(P.S. I still have a provisional licence)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ah, but what if you're not honest?
Ah, but what if you're not honest?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I'm guessing you both understand that the R with the full-stop after it is a logo for the surf brand "Rusty". Either way, it still also stands for Ray and is hilarious.
I'm guessing you both understand that the R with the full-stop after it is a logo for the surf brand "Rusty". Either way, it still also stands for Ray and is hilarious.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Way to crush our undying faith in and love for the comedic genius of Achewood.
Way to crush our undying faith in and love for the comedic genius of Achewood.
woodenteeth
+6 -0
Perhaps I had to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps Ray doesn't know that it's a Rusty brand either. Perhaps Ray thinks they made it just for him. Ray is all you need to know, full-stop.
Perhaps I had to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps Ray doesn't know that it's a Rusty brand either. Perhaps Ray thinks they made it just for him. Ray is all you need to know, full-stop.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I accept that reasoning. Thank you.
I accept that reasoning. Thank you.
celesticles
+0 -0
Fuck, I wish I hadn't wasted all my chubbies earlier.
Fuck, I wish I hadn't wasted all my chubbies earlier.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I gotcha covered. Say you owe me a drink one day.
I gotcha covered. Say you owe me a drink one day.
celesticles
+0 -0
Haha, wow, I was off. It's Ray, though.
If he wore shirts more often, I'd expect most of them to have his likeness.
Haha, wow, I was off. It's Ray, though.
If he wore shirts more often, I'd expect most of them to have his likeness.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
He's worn this shirt before (with another classic porn reference): Choad Warning!
He's worn this shirt before (with another classic porn reference): Choad Warning!
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Hey Celesticles, can we talk? You seem like a really cool guy and I've been meaning to ask you a question...
...
WHAT NEWS FROM THE NORTH?
Hey Celesticles, can we talk? You seem like a really cool guy and I've been meaning to ask you a question...
...
WHAT NEWS FROM THE NORTH?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Is that a polite way of saying SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ? because I really need to learn the polite way of how to do that politely.
Is that a polite way of saying SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY ? because I really need to learn the polite way of how to do that politely.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No, it was just a way of making a cheap reference that I didn't realize stereo had already made further down the page.
No, it was just a way of making a cheap reference that I didn't realize stereo had already made further down the page.
celesticles
+0 -0
Retract.
Retract.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
YOU retract.
YOU retract.
aaron_haynes
+2 -0
Damn if the cigarette butt don't just make that last panel.
There's nothing like a wet cigarette butt next a street curb to remind me of everything I failed to achieve in life.
Damn if the cigarette butt don't just make that last panel.
There's nothing like a wet cigarette butt next a street curb to remind me of everything I failed to achieve in life.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I like the gum. That is a wad of dried up, used gum.
I like the gum. That is a wad of dried up, used gum.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Fucking Mama Kazenzakis can suck a nut.
Fucking Mama Kazenzakis can suck a nut.
belgand
+0 -0
Perhaps, but I fail to see how this is relevant. Is this your Christmas wish or do you merely want that to be depicted in the strip on some upcoming occasion?
Perhaps, but I fail to see how this is relevant. Is this your Christmas wish or do you merely want that to be depicted in the strip on some upcoming occasion?
nice-on-water
+2 -0
"Oh how mean she is; if she were a real person she would be prone and ought to do lewd acts unbecoming of people of a higher class, for she can do (and we can expect) no better."
"Oh how mean she is; if she were a real person she would be prone and ought to do lewd acts unbecoming of people of a higher class, for she can do (and we can expect) no better."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also I'd like to comment on the extreme detail in that last panel, something I was just talking about last comic (but was actually referring to dialogue and narrative).
Also I'd like to comment on the extreme detail in that last panel, something I was just talking about last comic (but was actually referring to dialogue and narrative).
wootcannon
+0 -0
This is why I love this strip. You don't really get any other strip that can go from making you gut yourself with laughter to instant gut-wrenching sadness. Although the image of Ray coming towards him, ready to lecture on the goodness of Seka, looks like a flashback to Roast Beefs fabled acid trip.
This is why I love this strip. You don't really get any other strip that can go from making you gut yourself with laughter to instant gut-wrenching sadness. Although the image of Ray coming towards him, ready to lecture on the goodness of Seka, looks like a flashback to Roast Beefs fabled acid trip.
gwillikers
+0 -0
Damn man this strip made my eyes full well up. I sure hope that's not his last memory. I AM SO SAD FOR THIS CARTOON CAT
Damn man this strip made my eyes full well up. I sure hope that's not his last memory. I AM SO SAD FOR THIS CARTOON CAT
wootcannon
+2 -0
We all love the little cat Roast Beef.
We all love the little cat Roast Beef.
wootcannon
+0 -0
At least to counter the awful treatment his mother gave him he's got Molly. Look at that expression of sheer concern in panel 5.
At least to counter the awful treatment his mother gave him he's got Molly. Look at that expression of sheer concern in panel 5.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Unfortunately, to Beef it probably looks like an expression of anger and disgust.
Unfortunately, to Beef it probably looks like an expression of anger and disgust.
celesticles
+0 -0
I can't get over the disappointment on Roast Beef's face when Ray asks him if he's ever heard of Seka in his memories.
It's almost like an untold story in Beef's head, a conscience embodied by young Ray that he depends on to snap him out of his depression, but it always ends up not realizing it's role and failing Beef.
"Dude! Beef, snap out of it!"
"oh uh Ray thanks i needed-"
"Beef, have you ever heard of[i]Seka?
I can't get over the disappointment on Roast Beef's face when Ray asks him if he's ever heard of Seka in his memories.
It's almost like an untold story in Beef's head, a conscience embodied by young Ray that he depends on to snap him out of his depression, but it always ends up not realizing it's role and failing Beef.
"Dude! Beef, snap out of it!"
"oh uh Ray thanks i needed-"
"Beef, have you ever heard of[i]Seka?
celesticles
+0 -0
FUCK.
FUCK.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Now? Here?
Now? Here?
celesticles
+0 -0
Haha, I fucked up my first try at BBcode. I feel de-masculated.
Haha, I fucked up my first try at BBcode. I feel de-masculated.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
The opposite is discovering you can touch type bbcode. Although, that doesn't really make me feel "masculated".
The opposite is discovering you can touch type bbcode. Although, that doesn't really make me feel "masculated".
myfirstpost
+0 -2
Well at least you can post 80 million times.
Well at least you can post 80 million times.
celesticles
+0 -0
Yeah, sorry for making posts on a message board. That was bad of me.
Yeah, sorry for making posts on a message board. That was bad of me.
expellens
+0 -0
oooh. BURN !
oooh. BURN !
null
+0 -0
Man this is discouraging in many ways.
Man this is discouraging in many ways.
rowboat
+1 -1
Perfect antidote to a tired arc.
Did...did he hear my wish?
Perfect antidote to a tired arc.
Did...did he hear my wish?
celesticles
+0 -0
The arc isn't too bad, I mean I like the romanticism as much as the next guy, but I'll be glad when we get into more of the regular antics.
The arc isn't too bad, I mean I like the romanticism as much as the next guy, but I'll be glad when we get into more of the regular antics.
wozzeck
+0 -0
An elderly gent and his high-browed good-time girl walked into a boudoir where a foreign robot had lain a wheelbarrow of fish and a typewriter run with silk as an attempt at provifing romantic mise en scene...
Are these not antics ?
An elderly gent and his high-browed good-time girl walked into a boudoir where a foreign robot had lain a wheelbarrow of fish and a typewriter run with silk as an attempt at provifing romantic mise en scene...
Are these not antics ?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Are these not antics ?
These are antics !
Are we not men ?
Are these not antics ?
These are antics !
Are we not men ?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I hear you whisper in your sleep.
Then I email Chris.
We're very close.
I hear you whisper in your sleep.
Then I email Chris.
We're very close.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Almost the same person, they are.
Almost the same person, they are.
rowboat
+0 -0
See, that's how I know you're lying. I scream in my sleep.
See, that's how I know you're lying. I scream in my sleep.
rowboat
+0 -0
Prius Chaser! Baby! You came back for me! I just knew you would....
Hey, whachu doin' tonight? I think it's time we ended this little charade and got down to business. You still got my digits, right? Holla.
Prius Chaser! Baby! You came back for me! I just knew you would....
Hey, whachu doin' tonight? I think it's time we ended this little charade and got down to business. You still got my digits, right? Holla.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
The screams.
Delicious.
Chris Onstad. Taste these screams.
Delicious.
The screams.
Delicious.
Chris Onstad. Taste these screams.
Delicious.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think all of us who were complaining on the last strip just combined our mental energies and wished really hard for this next one not to suck. We succeeded.
I am still bummed about that empty promise of a Lyle/Todd strip though.
I think all of us who were complaining on the last strip just combined our mental energies and wished really hard for this next one not to suck. We succeeded.
I am still bummed about that empty promise of a Lyle/Todd strip though.
sje46
+0 -0
Or maybe Onstad reads assetbar and cares about how we feel.
Or maybe Onstad reads assetbar and cares about how we feel.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Or maybe not, and the world is still a good place.
Or maybe not, and the world is still a good place.
judasburrito
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Molly's right.
(now for non-premium users!)
[IMGS OFF]
Molly's right.
(now for non-premium users!)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Anyone in a relationship who suffers from even the mildest depression knows panels 2 and 3 all too well.
In fact this strip is all too eeriely similar to how my life has been since I've started college (the anxiety and pressure to actually put forth effort has manifested itself in to paranoia that dudes at Burger King are staring at me weird because I sit in the corner and read while enjoying my Whopper.)
Long story short, Chris, get out of my head .
Anyone in a relationship who suffers from even the mildest depression knows panels 2 and 3 all too well.
In fact this strip is all too eeriely similar to how my life has been since I've started college (the anxiety and pressure to actually put forth effort has manifested itself in to paranoia that dudes at Burger King are staring at me weird because I sit in the corner and read while enjoying my Whopper.)
Long story short, Chris, get out of my head .
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You don't even have to be in a relationship. That's pretty much how all conversations with my mom seem to me.
You don't even have to be in a relationship. That's pretty much how all conversations with my mom seem to me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Same here! Except most of the time she usually is yelling at me...
Same here! Except most of the time she usually is yelling at me...
mattylite
+0 -0
Dear Achilleselbow,
Pleas appreciate how I am not gonna use your perfect setup to make a mom joke here.
Sincerely,
Mattylite
Dear Achilleselbow,
Pleas appreciate how I am not gonna use your perfect setup to make a mom joke here.
Sincerely,
Mattylite
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was actually waiting for someone to do it, but now you've gone and ruined it.
I was actually waiting for someone to do it, but now you've gone and ruined it.
mattylite
+1 -0
Haha, ya, that's what your mom said, er.. ... shit. Sorry.
Haha, ya, that's what your mom said, er.. ... shit. Sorry.
rowboat
+0 -0
I can't believe that you have sex with your mother.
I can't believe that you have sex with your mother.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Neither can she.
Neither can she.
rowboat
+0 -0
You're all, like, "Ma! I swear I just had sex you! I promise!" And she's all, like, "Are you positive? I sure didn't feel anything."
She can't believe it.
That is because you have a small penis.
You're all, like, "Ma! I swear I just had sex you! I promise!" And she's all, like, "Are you positive? I sure didn't feel anything."
She can't believe it.
That is because you have a small penis.
expellens
+0 -0
AE, I too had to resist the immediate monkey urge to throw down a mom joke. It was like someone had left a $20 sticking out of an envelope on the sidewalk. My initial impulse was interrupted by the thought that somewhere, a hidden camera is rolling and I'm going to be one of a dozen dopes in a montage with canned laughter on some Galavision version of Hidden Camera with the envelope being yoinked into traffic by a Huck Finn style cane-pole and me following dumbly after with sound effects of screeching brakes and such.
But then I reconsidered: You fuck your mom ?!?
AE, I too had to resist the immediate monkey urge to throw down a mom joke. It was like someone had left a $20 sticking out of an envelope on the sidewalk. My initial impulse was interrupted by the thought that somewhere, a hidden camera is rolling and I'm going to be one of a dozen dopes in a montage with canned laughter on some Galavision version of Hidden Camera with the envelope being yoinked into traffic by a Huck Finn style cane-pole and me following dumbly after with sound effects of screeching brakes and such.
But then I reconsidered: You fuck your mom ?!?
tetsujin
+0 -1
I'd post a comment except it'll just get lost in the pile, so why bother?
Seems a shame to rate this one higher than a 2, since it's rating on the Beef happiness scale after all...
Poor Beef. Good comic today, though. Much better than the shenanigans.
I'd post a comment except it'll just get lost in the pile, so why bother?
Seems a shame to rate this one higher than a 2, since it's rating on the Beef happiness scale after all...
Poor Beef. Good comic today, though. Much better than the shenanigans.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Even better than the hijinx?
Even better than the hijinx?
almostfearless
+1 -1
hilarious
hilarious
kaz
+0 -1
Poor beef
Poor beef
eidolem
+0 -0
Of course, if you haven't heard of Seka, and then you Google it in the name of enlightenment, the second hit you will get is for the South East Knitting Association.
Probably Beef has heard of them.
Of course, if you haven't heard of Seka, and then you Google it in the name of enlightenment, the second hit you will get is for the South East Knitting Association.
Probably Beef has heard of them.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
here's an early christmas gift.
[i][/i]
here's an early christmas gift.
[i][/i]
eidolem
+0 -0
Aw, shit. And all I got you was hazelnut Hedgehogs.
Aw, shit. And all I got you was hazelnut Hedgehogs.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Aw, it's ok!
Aw, it's ok!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Daaaaang, straight up cock to a stranger. So close to Christmas, too.
Daaaaang, straight up cock to a stranger. So close to Christmas, too.
eidolem
+0 -0
Ah well. If the worst thing I do in a day is use the wrong coding on a forum and the worst thing he does today is call attention to it, I reckon we're not doing too badly, hey? Thanks for calling that straight-up cock, though. That cushioned the blow, no pun intended. xo
Ah well. If the worst thing I do in a day is use the wrong coding on a forum and the worst thing he does today is call attention to it, I reckon we're not doing too badly, hey? Thanks for calling that straight-up cock, though. That cushioned the blow, no pun intended. xo
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Well, I figured I'd butt my way in and take somebody's side. Here's hoping all your blows may be well-cushioned this holiday season.
Well, I figured I'd butt my way in and take somebody's side. Here's hoping all your blows may be well-cushioned this holiday season.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
polite golf-clap, approving murmur.
polite golf-clap, approving murmur.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Slight head-bow, half-hidden smirk.
Slight head-bow, half-hidden smirk.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Being a dick would be like "YO DOUCHEBAG YOU FUCKED UP SO HARDCORE LOL LOOK @ DIS FUCKER. CAN'T CODE SHIT."
I was merely trying to inform you, ok?
Being a dick would be like "YO DOUCHEBAG YOU FUCKED UP SO HARDCORE LOL LOOK @ DIS FUCKER. CAN'T CODE SHIT."
I was merely trying to inform you, ok?
eidolem
+0 -0
Forget it. It's too late. I condemn you and all your works. Also, nobody said you were a dick. I think the implication was that you made a dick move , but that's not the same thing.
Forget it. It's too late. I condemn you and all your works. Also, nobody said you were a dick. I think the implication was that you made a dick move , but that's not the same thing.
rowboat
+0 -0
Forgive him. He's been pretty on edge, lately.
Forgive him. He's been pretty on edge, lately.
eidolem
+0 -0
I don't really condemn him, honey. It's just italics. It's not life.
I don't really condemn him, honey. It's just italics. It's not life.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
SORRY FOR MAKING A REFERENCE TO A COMIC AT YOUR EXPENSE AND BEING VIEWED AS A DICK BY YOU EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOT ONE OF THE MANY PEOPLE TO BE A DICK TO YOU IN THE LAST WEEK MERRY CHRISTMAS NO HARD FEELINGS I LOVE YOU THEGUITARHERO
LOVE,
NICE-ON-WATER AKA NICK THE GUY WHO WRITES IN CAPS
SORRY FOR MAKING A REFERENCE TO A COMIC AT YOUR EXPENSE AND BEING VIEWED AS A DICK BY YOU EVEN THOUGH I WAS NOT ONE OF THE MANY PEOPLE TO BE A DICK TO YOU IN THE LAST WEEK MERRY CHRISTMAS NO HARD FEELINGS I LOVE YOU THEGUITARHERO
LOVE,
NICE-ON-WATER AKA NICK THE GUY WHO WRITES IN CAPS
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I wasn't calling you a dick, but it's ok.
I wasn't calling you a dick, but it's ok.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah...
Wanna go get some Food?
Yeah...
Wanna go get some Food?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Necessarily. Burger King sounds good?
Necessarily. Burger King sounds good?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That's kind of funny, I actually am craving the King.
That's kind of funny, I actually am craving the King.
belgand
+0 -0
Funny story, but I basically get all of my Whoppers for free. Have for years and years. Since the earlyish 90s basically.
Funny story, but I basically get all of my Whoppers for free. Have for years and years. Since the earlyish 90s basically.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Explain.
Explain.
belgand
+0 -0
It's actually not a funny story. My father was VP of Marketing and I just have an absolute ton of coupons good for a free Whopper.
I haven't been there in years. I almost never eat at fast food places due to the high prices (compared to better food such as a delicious burrito at a local taqueria) and the lack of most options that aren't the hated and vastly inferior McDonald's.
It's actually not a funny story. My father was VP of Marketing and I just have an absolute ton of coupons good for a free Whopper.
I haven't been there in years. I almost never eat at fast food places due to the high prices (compared to better food such as a delicious burrito at a local taqueria) and the lack of most options that aren't the hated and vastly inferior McDonald's.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Last time I had McDonald's, a simple burger and fry affair, I felt almost as bad as my Hot Black Colon Water episode, if anyone remembers that from about 2 weeks ago. No one probably does. Well I do. It was the worst day OF MY LIFE AND FUCK YOU PEOPLE FOR NOT EMPATHIZING FUCK YOU FOREVER
Last time I had McDonald's, a simple burger and fry affair, I felt almost as bad as my Hot Black Colon Water episode, if anyone remembers that from about 2 weeks ago. No one probably does. Well I do. It was the worst day OF MY LIFE AND FUCK YOU PEOPLE FOR NOT EMPATHIZING FUCK YOU FOREVER
tekende
+0 -0
Please to mail me some of your coupons, belgand.
Please to mail me some of your coupons, belgand.
sje46
+0 -0
Me too. I will give you my address if necessary.
Me too. I will give you my address if necessary.
belgand
+0 -0
Sorry, but no. I never know when I'll need 500 Whoppers.
Whopper coupons are being reserved for attendees of SoreErection: A Loving Tribute to Achewood.
Sorry, but no. I never know when I'll need 500 Whoppers.
Whopper coupons are being reserved for attendees of SoreErection: A Loving Tribute to Achewood.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Were these coupons a final effort by your father to convince you to follow in his footsteps?
Were these coupons a final effort by your father to convince you to follow in his footsteps?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What if they Mexican Magical absolution for 500 mortal sins?
What if they Mexican Magical absolution for 500 mortal sins?
biff
+0 -0
I'll take Mexican Magical Absolution for 500 Alex.
I'll take Mexican Magical Absolution for 500 Alex.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Are you absolutely sure, biff? There is no backing out of Mexican Magical Jeopardy .
You would be required in this case to tell Belgand a series of Whoppers for 500 nights to assuage his insomnia, each one more entertaining than the last.
The penalty for not satisfying him, I need not go into details about.
Are you absolutely sure, biff? There is no backing out of Mexican Magical Jeopardy .
You would be required in this case to tell Belgand a series of Whoppers for 500 nights to assuage his insomnia, each one more entertaining than the last.
The penalty for not satisfying him, I need not go into details about.
belgand
+0 -0
I sincerely doubt that Biff could adequately satisfy me. For ye my appetites are large and robust and he is a man who is trying to verify the quality of his steaks in the least efficient manner.
I sincerely doubt that Biff could adequately satisfy me. For ye my appetites are large and robust and he is a man who is trying to verify the quality of his steaks in the least efficient manner.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
What if they Mexican Magical absolution for 500 mortal sins?
What if they Mexican Magical absolution for 500 mortal sins?
biff
+0 -0
I'll Mexican Magical 500 Alex
I'll Mexican Magical 500 Alex
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
tell me you didn't click twice to that double-post, that it was truly a hiccup by the Assetbar M.M.R. database ....I know I didn't.
tell me you didn't click twice to that double-post, that it was truly a hiccup by the Assetbar M.M.R. database ....I know I didn't.
stereo
+0 -0
Hiccough? I don't know why it's pronounced like that either.
Hiccough? I don't know why it's pronounced like that either.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Hitchcock?
Hitchcock?
biff
+0 -0
H-cup.
Big Ol' Boobies.
H-cup.
Big Ol' Boobies.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Triple H's cup.
Triple H's cup.
biff
+0 -0
I clicked only once.
Per post.
One click each.
I clicked only once.
Per post.
One click each.
belgand
+0 -0
I would not have minded that at all. Based on what I was able to observe his main task at work was to talk on the phone to people occasionally, pass work on to subordinates, go out to lunch, and make a very large amount of money.
Since my phone started being flaky recently my current lifestyle involves absolutely none of those traits.
I would not have minded that at all. Based on what I was able to observe his main task at work was to talk on the phone to people occasionally, pass work on to subordinates, go out to lunch, and make a very large amount of money.
Since my phone started being flaky recently my current lifestyle involves absolutely none of those traits.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:( I haven't had a Whopper since October and before that it was years.
:( I haven't had a Whopper since October and before that it was years.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
i have had whoper
i have had whoper
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I have had an animal food-trough-whopper.
I have had an animal food-trough-whopper.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh hey, it's 13 year old me. Nice to see you again.
Oh hey, it's 13 year old me. Nice to see you again.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I haven't had the King in quite a while (see below), but I need to switch from Wendy's because their burgers makes my poo green for some reason, and Taco Bell, while delicious and cheap, gets old.
I haven't had the King in quite a while (see below), but I need to switch from Wendy's because their burgers makes my poo green for some reason, and Taco Bell, while delicious and cheap, gets old.
tekende
+0 -0
Man don't you go sassing Wendy's
Wendy's is awesome, especially considering how cheap it is
Man don't you go sassing Wendy's
Wendy's is awesome, especially considering how cheap it is
theguitarhero
+0 -0
When I was younger I used to throw up after eating wendy's burger, so I haven't risked it recently, but damn do I love some spicy chicken go wraps.
When I was younger I used to throw up after eating wendy's burger, so I haven't risked it recently, but damn do I love some spicy chicken go wraps.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I love it, I do, no sass intended, but it just makes my poo green! What can I do if it makes my poo green? I can't help if it makes my poo green!
Imagine an old Jew saying this.
I love it, I do, no sass intended, but it just makes my poo green! What can I do if it makes my poo green? I can't help if it makes my poo green!
Imagine an old Jew saying this.
tekende
+0 -0
That's pretty weird. It doesn't turn my poo green, so I guess I can't help you there.
That's pretty weird. It doesn't turn my poo green, so I guess I can't help you there.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Nothing to be done.
Nothing to be done.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
"I just took a laxative and a stool hardener and they're really fighting it out in there!"
"I just took a laxative and a stool hardener and they're really fighting it out in there!"
rowboat
+1 -0
Ex-Lax plus Caopectate plus Pop Rocks plus Pepsi plus three hits of meth plus three Vicodins equals WORLD WAR ME
Ex-Lax plus Caopectate plus Pop Rocks plus Pepsi plus three hits of meth plus three Vicodins equals WORLD WAR ME
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That's a recipe for disaster!!!
That's a recipe for disaster!!!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
A fun-zaster!
A fun-zaster!
falseprophet
+0 -0
Dis- ass -ter.
Starring Rod Thickland, Seka, Andrew Dworkin, Elizabeth Banxxx, Stephen Humping, and Geena Lee Jackson
-- A group of geology grad students find themselves trapped in a tight crevice after a huge cave-in. They soon realize that the only way to escape is to bring their vaginal walls tumbling down like Jericho. Directed by Tony Marsaglia.
Dis- ass -ter.
Starring Rod Thickland, Seka, Andrew Dworkin, Elizabeth Banxxx, Stephen Humping, and Geena Lee Jackson
-- A group of geology grad students find themselves trapped in a tight crevice after a huge cave-in. They soon realize that the only way to escape is to bring their vaginal walls tumbling down like Jericho. Directed by Tony Marsaglia.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Introducing Rocky St. Luvlots as The Old Miner.
Spelunking looks a lot different this winter
Coming to a dangerously infected website near you, January 20th 2009.
Introducing Rocky St. Luvlots as The Old Miner.
Spelunking looks a lot different this winter
Coming to a dangerously infected website near you, January 20th 2009.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
~Alternate ending~
"...and boy are my arms tired!"
~Alternate ending~
"...and boy are my arms tired!"
wolfensti
+0 -0
If it's yellow, let it mellow
If it's brown, flush it down
If it's green, stop eating Wendy's
If it's yellow, let it mellow
If it's brown, flush it down
If it's green, stop eating Wendy's
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Hi my name is Nick and I haven't had Wendy's in 6 months.
Hi my name is Nick and I haven't had Wendy's in 6 months.
stereo
+0 -0
I haven't had Wendy since the third grade.
I haven't had Wendy since the third grade.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Have 'er? I hardly know 'er!
Have 'er? I hardly know 'er!
catgrl131
+0 -0
If it's black call Dr. Andretti 455-2123
If it's black call Dr. Andretti 455-2123
hedonismbot
+0 -0
(Dr. Andretti HATES Blacks)
(Dr. Andretti HATES Blacks)
rowboat
+0 -0
No, you're thinking of Mario Andretti.
No, you're thinking of Mario Andretti.
expellens
+0 -0
Poo Green is the guy got shot in the eye, right?
Poo Green is the guy got shot in the eye, right?
judasburrito
+0 -0
so my thinking is, he's mispronouncing 'Sega'. Anybody with me here?
so my thinking is, he's mispronouncing 'Sega'. Anybody with me here?
mattfish
+0 -0
No.
No.
xi
+0 -0
I clicked and immediately thought "OHHH I KNOW HER!" and then was ashamed.
I clicked and immediately thought "OHHH I KNOW HER!" and then was ashamed.
celesticles
+0 -0
Seka is a porn star. She doesn't have J-cups or anything, but she's good from what I hear.
Seka is a porn star. She doesn't have J-cups or anything, but she's good from what I hear.
stereo
+1 -0
Celesticles! What news from the North?
Celesticles! What news from the North?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Considering the post you are responding to, I hope he has news from "all across the land".
Considering the post you are responding to, I hope he has news from "all across the land".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Oh god dammit. Why would you go and post that all the way down here. Why would you do that though.
Oh god dammit. Why would you go and post that all the way down here. Why would you do that though.
celesticles
+0 -0
I'm not sure what this references, but I'm pretty sure the Achewood assetbar holds some sort of animosity towards me.
I'm not sure what this references, but I'm pretty sure the Achewood assetbar holds some sort of animosity towards me.
sje46
+0 -0
Don't worry, I love you.
*cuddles up next to you*
Don't worry, I love you.
*cuddles up next to you*
sje46
+2 -0
Oh no. I've made a terrible mistake.
Oh no. I've made a terrible mistake.
celesticles
+0 -0
You know, now that I look back at all my posts last night, I realize that I was posting way too much. I can see how it would be annoying.
I didn't fully think of what I was doing, I'd been awake for 40 hours. Damn final critiques.
You know, now that I look back at all my posts last night, I realize that I was posting way too much. I can see how it would be annoying.
I didn't fully think of what I was doing, I'd been awake for 40 hours. Damn final critiques.
daidai
+0 -0
Least you didn't write a couple paragraphs about seducing, torturing, and murdering the Michelin Man for inane and silly reasons.
That would be crazy.
Least you didn't write a couple paragraphs about seducing, torturing, and murdering the Michelin Man for inane and silly reasons.
That would be crazy.
stereo
+0 -0
Hey, when you get cruised by the Michelin man it makes you write a lot of crazy things.
Hey, when you get cruised by the Michelin man it makes you write a lot of crazy things.
rowboat
+0 -0
It's cool, bra.
*fucks celesticles*
It's cool, bra.
*fucks celesticles*
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you are totally an art kid and that earns you hella points with me and my friends.
you are totally an art kid and that earns you hella points with me and my friends.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Animosity? On the contrary, you should feel honored to be included in one of our longest-running gags.
See here.
Animosity? On the contrary, you should feel honored to be included in one of our longest-running gags.
See here.
celesticles
+0 -0
Haha, I guess I didn't realize, I feel like the new kid on the playground, I've read every strip and read the assetbar, but I haven't posted much.
Inside jokes make me hell of paranoid.
Haha, I guess I didn't realize, I feel like the new kid on the playground, I've read every strip and read the assetbar, but I haven't posted much.
Inside jokes make me hell of paranoid.
rowboat
+0 -0
It's the outside jokes you gotta watch for, man.
It's the outside jokes you gotta watch for, man.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Quote:
Ooooooh. Like that one, celesticles, which is actually an inside joke of the most devious variety.
Quote:
It's the outside jokes you gotta watch for, man.
Ooooooh. Like that one, celesticles, which is actually an inside joke of the most devious variety.
celesticles
+0 -0
Fuck, there's nowhere to hide.
Fuck, there's nowhere to hide.
nonamejoe
+0 -0
Yes, I have also heard Seka is good. Um, I have this friend who saw a cut scene with John Holmes once.
Yes, I have also heard Seka is good. Um, I have this friend who saw a cut scene with John Holmes once.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Between Chris Onstad making me do a web search to find out what a Seka is, and past cases of Assetbarbarians linking to YouTube videos of half-attired ladies sitting on cakes, Achewood has pretty much ensured that Google's all-seeing, all-knowing Computer of Judgment has turned on the "perv" flag in my permanent record.
Between Chris Onstad making me do a web search to find out what a Seka is, and past cases of Assetbarbarians linking to YouTube videos of half-attired ladies sitting on cakes, Achewood has pretty much ensured that Google's all-seeing, all-knowing Computer of Judgment has turned on the "perv" flag in my permanent record.
stereo
+4 -0
I have known since I was 12.
I have known since I was 12.
belgand
+0 -0
You're nowhere close to being classified as a perv yet. Those are very, very tame things. The sorts of things that everyone does.
Perv is more like Dr. Manflesh. Have you been searching for images of Alf as a dickgirl? Have you looked up directions on how to have better sex with fish? Are you into zoophilia, not bestiality? Then you're not a perv.
Building your own sexual apparatus, however, just means you're thrifty. Nothing wrong with that.
You're nowhere close to being classified as a perv yet. Those are very, very tame things. The sorts of things that everyone does.
Perv is more like Dr. Manflesh. Have you been searching for images of Alf as a dickgirl? Have you looked up directions on how to have better sex with fish? Are you into zoophilia, not bestiality? Then you're not a perv.
Building your own sexual apparatus, however, just means you're thrifty. Nothing wrong with that.
wozzeck
+0 -0
My sexual apparatus was a gift from God.
My sexual apparatus was a gift from God.
tekende
+0 -0
What's the difference between zoophilia and bestiality?
What's the difference between zoophilia and bestiality?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's a zen koan. It will expand and enrich your mind while you ponder it without ever reaching an answer.
That's a zen koan. It will expand and enrich your mind while you ponder it without ever reaching an answer.
tekende
+2 -0
Seems to be expanding my penis more than my mind, if the truth be told.
Seems to be expanding my penis more than my mind, if the truth be told.
expellens
+0 -0
A Fat Albert penis-head with glasses instructing us on zen koans!
Ohhhh Shiiiiit!!!
A Fat Albert penis-head with glasses instructing us on zen koans!
Ohhhh Shiiiiit!!!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You get what you pay for, bucko.
You get what you pay for, bucko.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I can see Philippe asking that of Liebot. No, I want to see Philippe asking that of Liebot.
I can see Philippe asking that of Liebot. No, I want to see Philippe asking that of Liebot.
sje46
+11 -0
Whether you call again the next morning?
Whether you call again the next morning?
spinynorman
+0 -0
Consider this joke stolen.
Consider this joke stolen.
sje46
+0 -0
This is one of those comments which I get surprised get as many chubbies as they do.
This is one of those comments which I get surprised get as many chubbies as they do.
belgand
+0 -0
It was short, succinct, and was the perfect description and response. It was an ideal post in many ways. Contemplate this post young SJE and learn from it the wisdom of Assetbar.
It was short, succinct, and was the perfect description and response. It was an ideal post in many ways. Contemplate this post young SJE and learn from it the wisdom of Assetbar.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
A glimpse inside the perceived lived-in life and times of spinynorman.
A glimpse inside the perceived lived-in life and times of spinynorman.
belgand
+1 -1
Generally the zoophiles tend to claim that they're totally different because they're in a loving relationship with animals that just happens to include a sexual component.
They're basically trying to put a spin on how they like to fuck animals. Even if they are completely sincere it's not a point that really needs to be made. It's a sign of a certain level of denial. Like, oh... you're in love with that dolphin no wonder you've got it's prehensile cock rammed deep in your anus. I can see that you clearly love your dog because you let them get the knot in and not just for the submissive/humiliation/bestiality thrill of it.
Generally the zoophiles tend to claim that they're totally different because they're in a loving relationship with animals that just happens to include a sexual component.
They're basically trying to put a spin on how they like to fuck animals. Even if they are completely sincere it's not a point that really needs to be made. It's a sign of a certain level of denial. Like, oh... you're in love with that dolphin no wonder you've got it's prehensile cock rammed deep in your anus. I can see that you clearly love your dog because you let them get the knot in and not just for the submissive/humiliation/bestiality thrill of it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh man I definitely could have done without the graphic detail.
Oh man I definitely could have done without the graphic detail.
tekende
+0 -0
I see.
I see.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
I don't like your inference that having a "prehensile cock rammed deep in your anus" cannot be part of a loving human-dolphin relationship.
Sex between two loving, committed partners is a gift from God (and a prehensile cock, even more so).
I don't like your inference that having a "prehensile cock rammed deep in your anus" cannot be part of a loving human-dolphin relationship.
Sex between two loving, committed partners is a gift from God (and a prehensile cock, even more so).
wozzeck
+0 -0
Get in the bonfire, you.
Get in the bonfire, you.
stereo
+0 -0
Kids! Don't ever let a dolphin anywhere near your anus. They have a penis like a jackhammer and it will literally tear you apart.
Kids! Don't ever let a dolphin anywhere near your anus. They have a penis like a jackhammer and it will literally tear you apart.
belgand
+0 -0
This is incredibly true. Do not attempt intercourse with a dolphin even if each sex has prehensile genitals that they can actually use to pick up and carry objects. Do you want to be like that man from a year or so ago who got carried away with his Equus fanfic and ended up dying from a ruptured colon?
This is incredibly true. Do not attempt intercourse with a dolphin even if each sex has prehensile genitals that they can actually use to pick up and carry objects. Do you want to be like that man from a year or so ago who got carried away with his Equus fanfic and ended up dying from a ruptured colon?
morypcaina
+0 -0
Fanfic? It would have been a video.
Only afterward did Washington state ban bestiality, by the way.
Fanfic? It would have been a video.
Only afterward did Washington state ban bestiality, by the way.
belgand
+0 -0
I still don't see why it needed to be illegal. Getting reamed in the ass by a horse, well, the horse apparently is consenting by virtue of being the one to ram you in the first place and if you want to do that sort of thing even if it might kill you, well, that's your choice man. So long as you don't break any other laws in the process.
I still don't see why it needed to be illegal. Getting reamed in the ass by a horse, well, the horse apparently is consenting by virtue of being the one to ram you in the first place and if you want to do that sort of thing even if it might kill you, well, that's your choice man. So long as you don't break any other laws in the process.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Zooph in hell, furfag
Zooph in hell, furfag
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Zooph is totally a verb that I am stealing for my own, less offensive ends.
Zooph is totally a verb that I am stealing for my own, less offensive ends.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
"Seka" was the quintessential platinum blond XXX porn star. it wasn't just here look, which was stunning - modern in a 'new wave' sort of way, it's her NAME.
say it.. "Say-Kuh". it just rolls off the tongue. it sounds like an asian name for sex act. it just exudes sexuality, like she did.
you heard the name dropped a lot back then. it just implied all that was dirty about sex.
"Seka" was the quintessential platinum blond XXX porn star. it wasn't just here look, which was stunning - modern in a 'new wave' sort of way, it's her NAME.
say it.. "Say-Kuh". it just rolls off the tongue. it sounds like an asian name for sex act. it just exudes sexuality, like she did.
you heard the name dropped a lot back then. it just implied all that was dirty about sex.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
HER look.
GD.. i can type like 50 billion words a minute, but they are pretty fucked up words. fuck.
HER look.
GD.. i can type like 50 billion words a minute, but they are pretty fucked up words. fuck.
metatronatra
+1 -0
God, it's put in a humourous light but it's almost frighteningly accurate; depression is terrible and Onstad has an understanding of it that is uncanny- the balance struck is most deft
God, it's put in a humourous light but it's almost frighteningly accurate; depression is terrible and Onstad has an understanding of it that is uncanny- the balance struck is most deft
fancypants
+0 -0
why do i have the most in common with roastbeef. (not really a question)
geez, onstad.
why do i have the most in common with roastbeef. (not really a question)
geez, onstad.
hausea
+12 -0
People shouldn't really be arguing over whether this strip is funny.
Typical humor format is:
I stub my toe- catastrophe
You fall into a manhole and die- HILARIOUS
A serious reader of Mr. Onstad's work will say to themselves "But Achewood is a beautiful webcomic that transcends ordinary humor and is more than a webcomic. I care about Roast Beef. I do not want to see him suffer!"
Everyone who reads Achewood relates to Roast Beef the most because we're all pretentious shut-ins with Serious Opinions about a webcomic.
I also have my suspicions that most of us have felt the way Roast Beef does in this strip at one point or another.
I laughed at the strip, but I'm not laughing at Roast Beef, I'm laughing at myself. Because peering over a cliff and thinking that my last memory is going to be something really goddamned stupid or bursting into tears when someone suggests that I should throw out my old holey socks--I realize how silly it is when it presented to me in the format of talking cats.
So I don't feel so bad about writing a wall of text about a webcomic, because Achewood is really...great.
It's also midnight where I am, and I'm the sober equivalent of drunk so if it turns out in the harsh light of the morning that this actually just says "FRIST POTS" then feel free to lame me.
People shouldn't really be arguing over whether this strip is funny.
Typical humor format is:
I stub my toe- catastrophe
You fall into a manhole and die- HILARIOUS
A serious reader of Mr. Onstad's work will say to themselves "But Achewood is a beautiful webcomic that transcends ordinary humor and is more than a webcomic. I care about Roast Beef. I do not want to see him suffer!"
Everyone who reads Achewood relates to Roast Beef the most because we're all pretentious shut-ins with Serious Opinions about a webcomic.
I also have my suspicions that most of us have felt the way Roast Beef does in this strip at one point or another.
I laughed at the strip, but I'm not laughing at Roast Beef, I'm laughing at myself. Because peering over a cliff and thinking that my last memory is going to be something really goddamned stupid or bursting into tears when someone suggests that I should throw out my old holey socks--I realize how silly it is when it presented to me in the format of talking cats.
So I don't feel so bad about writing a wall of text about a webcomic, because Achewood is really...great.
It's also midnight where I am, and I'm the sober equivalent of drunk so if it turns out in the harsh light of the morning that this actually just says "FRIST POTS" then feel free to lame me.
xi
+0 -0
Hear, hear!
Hear, hear!
paigejay
+0 -0
Hooray for talking cats! Humor tempers the sharp edge of reality. So sad, so true, so silly.
Hooray for talking cats! Humor tempers the sharp edge of reality. So sad, so true, so silly.
hamscout
+0 -0
well said, hausea-there was a period in my life when it felt like everything I did was "cursed". My friends started calling me cursed. It was all I could do to just sit back and laugh at each new ridiculous failure, all: "Really? This is how it's going to be? oh hee hee, man."
well said, hausea-there was a period in my life when it felt like everything I did was "cursed". My friends started calling me cursed. It was all I could do to just sit back and laugh at each new ridiculous failure, all: "Really? This is how it's going to be? oh hee hee, man."
y0uarem0m
+0 -0
A comment left by y0uarem0m was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nice-on-water, Belgand, HNimrod)
A comment left by y0uarem0m was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nice-on-water, Belgand, HNimrod)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Don't read the fucking comments, then, kiddo.
Don't read the fucking comments, then, kiddo.
rowboat
+0 -0
Don't talk to him like he's real.
Don't talk to him like he's real.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Don't talk to me like I'm real.
::disappears, leaving on a Cheshire smile::
Don't talk to me like I'm real.
::disappears, leaving on a Cheshire smile::
nice-on-water
+0 -0
leaving ONLY
leaving ONLY
woodenteeth
+1 -0
you shouldn't leave on your Cheshire smile niceonwater, think of your carbon footprint!
you shouldn't leave on your Cheshire smile niceonwater, think of your carbon footprint!
belgand
+0 -1
Indeed. I'll replace it with a much more energy-efficient Glasgow smile if you'd prefer. Then you can leave it on all the time and not waste a drop of energy.
Indeed. I'll replace it with a much more energy-efficient Glasgow smile if you'd prefer. Then you can leave it on all the time and not waste a drop of energy.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is...is that a threat and an affront to my "going green" attempts?
Your tongue is like acid, belgand.
Is...is that a threat and an affront to my "going green" attempts?
Your tongue is like acid, belgand.
belgand
+0 -0
I wouldn't say it's an affront, but you certainly wouldn't need to expend any energy or the slightest effort to keep a nice wide smile going at all times.
Belgand has also spent many years in seclusion training deeply in the subtle mastery of the curb stomp with its secret Oakland masters. Care to super-size?
I wouldn't say it's an affront, but you certainly wouldn't need to expend any energy or the slightest effort to keep a nice wide smile going at all times.
Belgand has also spent many years in seclusion training deeply in the subtle mastery of the curb stomp with its secret Oakland masters. Care to super-size?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If yer spoilin' for a fight, Brainy, I got the goods.
::strips to spandex tights, oils up handlebar and raises bare fists::
G'wan, ya big palooka! I dare ya!
If yer spoilin' for a fight, Brainy, I got the goods.
::strips to spandex tights, oils up handlebar and raises bare fists::
G'wan, ya big palooka! I dare ya!
belgand
+0 -0
::Puts down his big trapezoidal weight and adjusts the strap on his asymmetrical unitard before adopting a proper Marquis of Queensbury stance::
What ho you most disagreeable ruffian. If you cannot avail yourself of proper manners I shan't fail to give you a cauliflower ear!
::Puts down his big trapezoidal weight and adjusts the strap on his asymmetrical unitard before adopting a proper Marquis of Queensbury stance::
What ho you most disagreeable ruffian. If you cannot avail yourself of proper manners I shan't fail to give you a cauliflower ear!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Oooh, I'll give you such a clout!
::tip-toes a circle around you::
Oooh, I'll give you such a clout!
::tip-toes a circle around you::
belgand
+1 -0
Bah! You're not even worth my time.
::Hops onto his penny-farthing and rides off giving you a raspberry::
Bah! You're not even worth my time.
::Hops onto his penny-farthing and rides off giving you a raspberry::
nice-on-water
+0 -1
Why you scalawag!
::shakes fist::
Why you scalawag!
::shakes fist::
hamscout
+0 -0
Damn, fight's over early!
Play me some filler, Johnny!
Ye olde chubbief to yon rapfcallions!
Damn, fight's over early!
Play me some filler, Johnny!
Ye olde chubbief to yon rapfcallions!
hamscout
+0 -0
Dammit! I accidentally lamed-instead-of-chubbied that last one, N-O-W!
My apologief for fuch an uncoufth gefture.
[removes peanut butter from moufth]
Dammit! I accidentally lamed-instead-of-chubbied that last one, N-O-W!
My apologief for fuch an uncoufth gefture.
[removes peanut butter from moufth]
theguitarhero
+1 -0
I thought you were just being a douche, but now I understand!
I thought you were just being a douche, but now I understand!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Listen: you can't end a word with the S that looks like an f (long S, and I won't even try to put it through BBCode torture). Correct usage dictates it was used only in the middle and beginning of words.
It muft be clear; forry to be a dick about terms.
Listen: you can't end a word with the S that looks like an f (long S, and I won't even try to put it through BBCode torture). Correct usage dictates it was used only in the middle and beginning of words.
It muft be clear; forry to be a dick about terms.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
He had peanut butter on his mouth though.
He had peanut butter on his mouth though.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Did he have peanut butter on his fingers?
I AM A
***DICK ABOUT TERMS!!***
Did he have peanut butter on his fingers?
I AM A
***DICK ABOUT TERMS!!***
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Do you have peanut butter on his fingers!
Do you have peanut butter on his fingers!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
wut
wut
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You're juft faying you're forry. Infincere!
You're juft faying you're forry. Infincere!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I can't fay I'm forry.
I can't fay I'm forry.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I'm not convinfed! I've had bad luck with aphrodisiacf!
I'm not convinfed! I've had bad luck with aphrodisiacf!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
ENDED A WORD WITH A f ENDED A WORD WITH A f GET OUT OF ASSETBAR
ENDED A WORD WITH A f ENDED A WORD WITH A f GET OUT OF ASSETBAR
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Last time I checked convinced doesn't have an s in it.
you ruined the joke.
Last time I checked convinced doesn't have an s in it.
you ruined the joke.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
STILL.
STILL.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I guess I should stop assuming that everyone has seen the same Simpsons episodes that I have.
I guess I should stop assuming that everyone has seen the same Simpsons episodes that I have.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What the fuck is a Simpsons?
What the fuck is a Simpsons?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That's a football player whose hands were too big for his gloves.
That's a football player whose hands were too big for his gloves.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hey-o!
Hey-o!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Zing, American justice system!
Zing, American justice system!
hamscout
+0 -0
If the glofes don't sit, you muft acquit...
If the glofes don't sit, you muft acquit...
belgand
+0 -0
They weren't chasing us until you turned on that getaway music!
Shake harder boy!
They weren't chasing us until you turned on that getaway music!
Shake harder boy!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I swear I just thought of that bit two minutes ago.
I swear I just thought of that bit two minutes ago.
belgand
+0 -0
Technically it's two totally different bits from, IIRC, different seasons. But those are things I think of almost all the time. I often shake my fist at people now.
Technically it's two totally different bits from, IIRC, different seasons. But those are things I think of almost all the time. I often shake my fist at people now.
belgand
+0 -0
The proper word would be "vamp".
The proper word would be "vamp".
nice-on-water
+0 -0
HYPHENATE HYPENATE I AM SUPREME POTENTATE
sorry, brain is dead from paper
HYPHENATE HYPENATE I AM SUPREME POTENTATE
sorry, brain is dead from paper
nonamejoe
+1 -0
I was enjoying reading the comments until I read yours and realised there was a comic strip involved. When I read that I broke down and cried and my life hasn't been the same since.
... Or am I?
I was enjoying reading the comments until I read yours and realised there was a comic strip involved. When I read that I broke down and cried and my life hasn't been the same since.
... Or am I?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
...OR HAVE YOU???
...OR HAVE YOU???
i_love_kate
+0 -0
...OR WILL THEY?
...OR WILL THEY?
paigejay
+0 -0
I like how the thought "I wonder what the last memory of life will be when I die" doesn't get a thought bubble. It's overlaid on the dark gradient of sky. It's simple and sad sentiment, yet serene.
Joy Division could be playing on the car radio.
I like how the thought "I wonder what the last memory of life will be when I die" doesn't get a thought bubble. It's overlaid on the dark gradient of sky. It's simple and sad sentiment, yet serene.
Joy Division could be playing on the car radio.
fermatprime
+0 -0
But paigejay, Joy Division is silly! It is silly to like Joy Division!
But paigejay, Joy Division is silly! It is silly to like Joy Division!
wozzeck
+0 -0
No one who makes songs about JG Ballard novels can be silly. Not even The Normal.
No one who makes songs about JG Ballard novels can be silly. Not even The Normal.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
what about Grace Jones
does she get a sort-of pass?
what about Grace Jones
does she get a sort-of pass?
wozzeck
+0 -0
If Grace Jones is anything, she's sexually terrifying, in a non-sexy way.
If Grace Jones is anything, she's sexually terrifying, in a non-sexy way.
wozzeck
+0 -0
And loud .
And loud .
mattylite
+1 -0
Sexually Terrifying, in a Non-Sexy Way: The Grace Jones Story. Harcourt & Press, 2008, 296 pgs.
Sexually Terrifying, in a Non-Sexy Way: The Grace Jones Story. Harcourt & Press, 2008, 296 pgs.
redphillip
+0 -0
I expect to see this in the Spring Lists, Mattylite. I hope you have in in proofs already.
I expect to see this in the Spring Lists, Mattylite. I hope you have in in proofs already.
rowboat
+1 -0
Oh, he's got the proofs - just look at her!
Oh, he's got the proofs - just look at her!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NO.
IMO, Joy Division is not a band of Depression. It is a band of Meaning.
NO.
IMO, Joy Division is not a band of Depression. It is a band of Meaning.
fermatprime
+0 -0
Don't worry, I like Joy Division too. (Maybe ju an' me are amigos!) They're still kind of silly sometimes (Sorry, but the first minute of the first song on Closer is completely ridiculous.)
Don't worry, I like Joy Division too. (Maybe ju an' me are amigos!) They're still kind of silly sometimes (Sorry, but the first minute of the first song on Closer is completely ridiculous.)
hinducow28
+0 -0
Good lord this is accurate.
Good lord this is accurate.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
avatar/comment symmetry comment symmetry comment.
avatar/comment symmetry comment symmetry comment.
21echoes
+1 -0
Beef has admitted his dilapidated mouse pad: https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuafQCjcL
Beef has admitted his dilapidated mouse pad: https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuafQCjcL
clintisiceman
+0 -0
The Burger King part is pretty spot on. Whenever I take Burger King to go, I am always really sure that the people in their cars see my bag and just think I am low class and sloppy. It is one of the top 10 reasons I don't go to Burger King as much as I used to.
Damn me.
The Burger King part is pretty spot on. Whenever I take Burger King to go, I am always really sure that the people in their cars see my bag and just think I am low class and sloppy. It is one of the top 10 reasons I don't go to Burger King as much as I used to.
Damn me.
krutus
+0 -0
Dang but I have had the exact same feeling. I have gone to lengths over this. I always run into someone I know while I'm walking with a bag of Burger King. Then it's the sweats like in panels 3 and 4.
Dang but I have had the exact same feeling. I have gone to lengths over this. I always run into someone I know while I'm walking with a bag of Burger King. Then it's the sweats like in panels 3 and 4.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
I have the same feeling with McDonald's. This was recently exacerbated.
An unshaven, t-shirt and jeans clad 35 year old was arguing quietly with a 16 year old manager. Behind the counter. Things were wrong. Yet we didn't know what exactly. Then he reaches for the 16 year olds neck, the linoleum is covered in old-mop-up juice (which he had apparently knocked over in their first encounter). He slips on the linoleum, grabs the edge of the fries oven and slaps the ground. His pupils somehow do a star jump. He gets up and lunges for a handful of fries recently cooked. My girlfriend screams, "The cops are on their way mate, get out of here now". He leaves, and I watch through the drive-thru window five minutes later the same man argue with a man and his wife in their car. He lunges unexpectedly for their bagged meal in between the front seats.
Don't take Ice kids. Don't take Ice.
I have the same feeling with McDonald's. This was recently exacerbated.
An unshaven, t-shirt and jeans clad 35 year old was arguing quietly with a 16 year old manager. Behind the counter. Things were wrong. Yet we didn't know what exactly. Then he reaches for the 16 year olds neck, the linoleum is covered in old-mop-up juice (which he had apparently knocked over in their first encounter). He slips on the linoleum, grabs the edge of the fries oven and slaps the ground. His pupils somehow do a star jump. He gets up and lunges for a handful of fries recently cooked. My girlfriend screams, "The cops are on their way mate, get out of here now". He leaves, and I watch through the drive-thru window five minutes later the same man argue with a man and his wife in their car. He lunges unexpectedly for their bagged meal in between the front seats.
Don't take Ice kids. Don't take Ice.
tekende
+0 -0
What
What
woodenteeth
+0 -0
It made me feel crappy to be eating McDonald's, in a similar way to be seen eating Burger King. People of Low Minds everywhere.
... or did you find the whole Tequila fueled anecdote difficult to follow?
It made me feel crappy to be eating McDonald's, in a similar way to be seen eating Burger King. People of Low Minds everywhere.
... or did you find the whole Tequila fueled anecdote difficult to follow?
tekende
+0 -0
I found it difficult to follow and also thought maybe it was from a Chuck Pahlunatic story or something.
I found it difficult to follow and also thought maybe it was from a Chuck Pahlunatic story or something.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
While typing I was more than full of the type of alcohol that removes your fear of police, though cocktail styles. Lunatic would be correct.
While typing I was more than full of the type of alcohol that removes your fear of police, though cocktail styles. Lunatic would be correct.
sje46
+0 -0
Is this a real story? And if so, is the manager really 16?
Is this a real story? And if so, is the manager really 16?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
You can be a McDonad's employee over here at 14 and 9 months. Manager by 16? Yes.
You can be a McDonad's employee over here at 14 and 9 months. Manager by 16? Yes.
mightlifeningus
+2 -1
I just signed up to say this is the first thing I've ever read that felt like how I felt or feel when I'm depressed. Thanks, Mr. Onstad.
I just signed up to say this is the first thing I've ever read that felt like how I felt or feel when I'm depressed. Thanks, Mr. Onstad.
hellofditties
+1 -0
I ran out of chubbies but you can have a hug.
I ran out of chubbies but you can have a hug.
gladi8orrex
+0 -1
dunt jus sine up 2 sayblab bullshit plz
dunt jus sine up 2 sayblab bullshit plz
belgand
+0 -0
Glad has chastised a new poster for making an account in order to post what he views as inconsequential and unnecessary.
Glad has chastised a new poster for making an account in order to post what he views as inconsequential and unnecessary.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
the depression,
is n sessian
dis tim i ant messin'
"i am on u liksalad dressin'
pil poppnm
da U4ria ant stoppin',
ma decentnes: der is no toppin'
spermd da flo' betteh get mopn
i wone wat memry i hab win i die?
"dude! u eber erd of seca?" nope
is noit truth is a lie
i rembry dat ornament o wood an rope
oslo is prob sayd tim it ben neerer deh holedees, sose i cheer ebery1 ub wiff and ickle jokes
Y is it sush tragedy dat 4 balk men dribe off a cliff?
lol is cuz da cadilac seats 5. lol
the depression,
is n sessian
dis tim i ant messin'
"i am on u liksalad dressin'
pil poppnm
da U4ria ant stoppin',
ma decentnes: der is no toppin'
spermd da flo' betteh get mopn
i wone wat memry i hab win i die?
"dude! u eber erd of seca?" nope
is noit truth is a lie
i rembry dat ornament o wood an rope
oslo is prob sayd tim it ben neerer deh holedees, sose i cheer ebery1 ub wiff and ickle jokes
Y is it sush tragedy dat 4 balk men dribe off a cliff?
lol is cuz da cadilac seats 5. lol
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i foggeted 2 ad sumfink. aw fux i rly mess'd up dis tim i so fucked the poodle
i foggeted 2 ad sumfink. aw fux i rly mess'd up dis tim i so fucked the poodle
theguitarhero
+2 -0
first, a poem that retells the tale of the comic we just read.
then, a joke about black people and the cares they drive.
finally, glad forgot to add something and also had sex with a dog.
first, a poem that retells the tale of the comic we just read.
then, a joke about black people and the cares they drive.
finally, glad forgot to add something and also had sex with a dog.
tekende
+0 -0
I was waiting for this.
I was waiting for this.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I can't disappoint my fans!
Also that's supposed to be cars not cares. Black people do not drive cares.
I can't disappoint my fans!
Also that's supposed to be cars not cares. Black people do not drive cares.
tekende
+0 -0
Some black people have strange cares, though.
Some black people have strange cares, though.
wozzeck
+0 -0
See: Wesley Willis, Oprah Winfrey
See: Wesley Willis, Oprah Winfrey
wozzeck
+0 -0
Grace Jones
Grace Jones
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is a freak.
Is a freak.
rowboat
+0 -0
You just don't like her because you correctly guess that she could rape you into pieces.
You just don't like her because you correctly guess that she could rape you into pieces.
nice-on-water
+5 -0
Or just scream at me in some frequency powerful enough to tear me asunder.
[IMGS OFF]
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Or just scream at me in some frequency powerful enough to tear me asunder.
[IMGS OFF]
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
wozzeck
+0 -0
I chubbied this solely for the "G" that ran past the edge, thus suggesting Grace Jones never stopped screaming.
I chubbied this solely for the "G" that ran past the edge, thus suggesting Grace Jones never stopped screaming.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Which she hasn't, yet.
Which she hasn't, yet.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I didn't even this post, I basically just said the same thing.
I didn't even this post, I basically just said the same thing.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't imagine she has, or can.
I don't imagine she has, or can.
biff
+0 -0
What you have to understand, is that there was no retouching for this photo.
She can make her face do that any time she wants.
What you have to understand, is that there was no retouching for this photo.
She can make her face do that any time she wants.
stereo
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
[IMGS OFF]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
nice-on-water
+0 -0
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
achilleselbow
+0 -0
C'MON FUCKIN' GUY!
C'MON FUCKIN' GUY!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
COME FUCKING ON GUY?
COME FUCKING ON GUY?
stereo
+0 -0
COME ALL OVER
FRIGHTFULLY DREADFUL
COME ALL OVER
FRIGHTFULLY DREADFUL
theguitarhero
+0 -0
SOME EVEN GOT ON THE MAYOR.
SOME EVEN GOT ON THE MAYOR.
robbie17m
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WTF IS THIS SHIT. EXPLAIN.
WTF IS THIS SHIT. EXPLAIN.
robbie17m
+0 -0
His name is Guy.
His name is Guy.
sje46
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
I DO NOT APPROVE.
[IMGS OFF]
I DO NOT APPROVE.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He looks like the love-child of Ray with an Einstein fright-wig and Don King.
He looks like the love-child of Ray with an Einstein fright-wig and Don King.
zapatos
+0 -0
I hope he gets by a car, I hope someone picks up a car and hits him with it. Fuck you TGIFridays you have a shitty spokesman.
I hope he gets by a car, I hope someone picks up a car and hits him with it. Fuck you TGIFridays you have a shitty spokesman.
morypcaina
+0 -0
got a different girl every day of the week
got a different girl every day of the week
stereo
+0 -0
I think the ornament is made of gingerbread, but I can see how that wouldn't have fit the rhyme.
I think the ornament is made of gingerbread, but I can see how that wouldn't have fit the rhyme.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
is not wat u no is wat u ca n prove
is not wat u no is wat u ca n prove
belgand
+0 -0
Glad has stated that knowledge is not, in itself, valid unless you are capable of supplying proof to support your statement.
Glad has stated that knowledge is not, in itself, valid unless you are capable of supplying proof to support your statement.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NO BELGAND NO. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.
NO BELGAND NO. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.
daidai
+0 -0
Ain't your thing no more, theguitarhero.
Ain't your thing no more.
Ain't your thing no more, theguitarhero.
Ain't your thing no more.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
FUCK. :(
FUCK. :(
belgand
+0 -0
Universe say you get sloppy, I fix.
Universe say you get sloppy, I fix.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I usually only do his poems, but it looks like I have to step up my game now!
I usually only do his poems, but it looks like I have to step up my game now!
ixzist
+0 -0
Oh, it's funny because it's true.
Oh, it's funny because it's true.
fictions
+0 -0
I have realised just now that this strip coupled with Beef's blog and Al Jazeera news is an excellent midnight cocktail.
I have realised just now that this strip coupled with Beef's blog and Al Jazeera news is an excellent midnight cocktail.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Al Jazeera! WHAT NEWS FROM THE MIDDLE EAST?
No, never mind, please it was just a feeble attempt at being clever.
I really don't want to know anything about the Middle East ever again because it is the HELLHOLE FROM WHICH ALL HUMAN DEPRESSION ARISES!
Al Jazeera! WHAT NEWS FROM THE MIDDLE EAST?
No, never mind, please it was just a feeble attempt at being clever.
I really don't want to know anything about the Middle East ever again because it is the HELLHOLE FROM WHICH ALL HUMAN DEPRESSION ARISES!
fermatprime
+0 -0
i have felt the top row so many times.
i have felt the top row so many times.
morypcaina
+0 -0
It took a lot of guts to finally admit to that.
Thank you.
(somebody call the police)
It took a lot of guts to finally admit to that.
Thank you.
(somebody call the police)
tbtabby
+0 -2
This is why "emo kids" don't annoy me half as much as the people who hate on them. "He's so annoying, the way he acts depressed just because his life is miserable! Let's heap mountains of emotional and physical abuse on him to cheer him up!"
This is why "emo kids" don't annoy me half as much as the people who hate on them. "He's so annoying, the way he acts depressed just because his life is miserable! Let's heap mountains of emotional and physical abuse on him to cheer him up!"
fictions
+1 -0
Yes but most truly depressed people I know don't dress up to advertise the fact.
Yes but most truly depressed people I know don't dress up to advertise the fact.
belgand
+2 -0
Exactly. "Emo" is just whining about minor problems and the normal setbacks of life.
If you've got real depression and real issues you don't have the inclination to do those sorts of things.
Exactly. "Emo" is just whining about minor problems and the normal setbacks of life.
If you've got real depression and real issues you don't have the inclination to do those sorts of things.
fictions
+0 -0
Belgand is right. I have little time for dudes who will wear make up because their parents had a fight, or because they find pubic hair terrifying.
Belgand is right. I have little time for dudes who will wear make up because their parents had a fight, or because they find pubic hair terrifying.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Pubic hair is pretty terrifying though.
Pubic hair is pretty terrifying though.
fictions
+1 -0
Enough to cause you to think that it was average music played badly which saved your life and not the fact you live in a prosperous nation?
Enough to cause you to think that it was average music played badly which saved your life and not the fact you live in a prosperous nation?
wozzeck
+0 -0
Enough to stop you from having sex with girls until one basically rapes you out of frustration, pinning your noodle-like arms to the back of a dilapidated couch?
Enough to stop you from having sex with girls until one basically rapes you out of frustration, pinning your noodle-like arms to the back of a dilapidated couch?
achilleselbow
+4 -0
Does that work?
Does that work?
tekende
+0 -0
Dang man if that don't bring back memories
Dang man if that don't bring back memories
belgand
+0 -0
Gotta agree with Elbox on this one. He clearly has far more up close and personal experience with it too.
Gotta agree with Elbox on this one. He clearly has far more up close and personal experience with it too.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Also, the types of people who make a point of hating on emo kids usually listen to music that is infinitely shittier.
Also, the types of people who make a point of hating on emo kids usually listen to music that is infinitely shittier.
fictions
+0 -0
That is a silly opinion to have
That is a silly opinion to have
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Not really. Whenever I see a YouTube comment to the effect of "omg emo SUX stfu fag" it is inevitably from someone with a name like SlipKn0truLz3902 or davemathewsfan43. If you had grown up in the 90's when everyone was listening to god-awful rap metal, you would have been at least somewhat thankful when emo became the new thing.
Also, I wonder - has anyone actually ever met this stereotypical emo kid who cuts himself and cries every night? Or is that just something that preppy kids repeat to make themselves feel superior?
Not really. Whenever I see a YouTube comment to the effect of "omg emo SUX stfu fag" it is inevitably from someone with a name like SlipKn0truLz3902 or davemathewsfan43. If you had grown up in the 90's when everyone was listening to god-awful rap metal, you would have been at least somewhat thankful when emo became the new thing.
Also, I wonder - has anyone actually ever met this stereotypical emo kid who cuts himself and cries every night? Or is that just something that preppy kids repeat to make themselves feel superior?
fictions
+0 -0
This for me is not the stereotypical emo kid, in the same sense that the stereotypical disliker of an emo kid is not a slipknot fan who posts on youtube. The reason for this is that I think upon investigation one would not be able to find a stereotype for someone who dislikes your average emo child. They are plntiful and have infinite variety.
This for me is not the stereotypical emo kid, in the same sense that the stereotypical disliker of an emo kid is not a slipknot fan who posts on youtube. The reason for this is that I think upon investigation one would not be able to find a stereotype for someone who dislikes your average emo child. They are plntiful and have infinite variety.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
fictions, you are incorrect.
Every single person I met who "hate" on emo kids have horrible music tastes, up-to-and-including Slipknot and DMB.
Also, i have met this "stereotypical emo kid" before but the thing is that in general they are just buying into the stereotype of what being emo should be (it's a vicious circle). In general actual emo kids are not stereotypical, they don't brag about being emo. Actual Emo Kids share more in common with hipsters than anything.
fictions, you are incorrect.
Every single person I met who "hate" on emo kids have horrible music tastes, up-to-and-including Slipknot and DMB.
Also, i have met this "stereotypical emo kid" before but the thing is that in general they are just buying into the stereotype of what being emo should be (it's a vicious circle). In general actual emo kids are not stereotypical, they don't brag about being emo. Actual Emo Kids share more in common with hipsters than anything.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
True. Emo kids are proto-hipsters -- they are 24 months away from wearing scarves with their black coats and posting to Assetbar and the AVClub.
True. Emo kids are proto-hipsters -- they are 24 months away from wearing scarves with their black coats and posting to Assetbar and the AVClub.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I take offense to that. I do not own a black coat.
I take offense to that. I do not own a black coat.
belgand
+0 -0
Bah! All of my outerwear is Army surplus.
Bah! All of my outerwear is Army surplus.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
All the hippest kids I know go to army surplus shops.
All the hippest kids I know go to army surplus shops.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Basically all you have to do to transition from emo to hipster is stop wearing eyeliner, not put any crap in your hair, and go a couple of days without shaving.
Basically all you have to do to transition from emo to hipster is stop wearing eyeliner, not put any crap in your hair, and go a couple of days without shaving.
belgand
+0 -0
You also need to buy a fixie and... well, it's actually more complicated than that. The basic premise is there, true, but I think that hipsters tend to be the advanced form of emo in some ways. They don't always advance and not all hipsters were emo, but they share enough similarities.
Emo also tends to be much more high school and hipsters tend to be college or post-college.
You also need to buy a fixie and... well, it's actually more complicated than that. The basic premise is there, true, but I think that hipsters tend to be the advanced form of emo in some ways. They don't always advance and not all hipsters were emo, but they share enough similarities.
Emo also tends to be much more high school and hipsters tend to be college or post-college.
wolfensti
+1 -0
That or be a eternal student, still waiting for his loan and missing a few class to be accepted at college. He's the kind of guy who does not really care about life and just go with it, but inside he feels ashamed of it's lack of rigor at work. He then overcompensates by being a yes man at his job wich is normally a 9$/hour custumer service shithole. He let his beard grow, just to spite is boss and coworker, knowing well that why he looks shoddy and possibly drugged, he's the fucking only one doing is work and the footstool of the other worker's, since he need that fucking cash badly to get out of thsi hell. There,s also a few sypathetic employees, who try to cheer him up, ad also that girl. She nice, maybe a bit shy but he is able to make her laugh. Her presence alone is enough to make his job look worthwhile. They are interested by most of the same thing, and soon enough she forget is little quirks. He's feeling reivigorated, happy for the first time in many monts, or most likely years. he then decide to pop the question, asking her out to see some film or to go to a little restaurant he knows. She then reveal that she want's to date the new guy at the office, who is 5 years older and an ex-soldier. The guy then politely say's that as long as she is happy, then he is. Is heart broken, she say's she is happy to hear that, happy to have him as friend, happily asking advice even if she know fully that he is broken inside. And life passes, he feels miserable about himself, always tinking about how he flunked his chances, how he would like to go back in time... A week's or mont's later, he will discover somebody else, and the cycle will continue.
Until he murder her.
That or be a eternal student, still waiting for his loan and missing a few class to be accepted at college. He's the kind of guy who does not really care about life and just go with it, but inside he feels ashamed of it's lack of rigor at work. He then overcompensates by being a yes man at his job wich is normally a 9$/hour custumer service shithole. He let his beard grow, just to spite is boss and coworker, knowing well that why he looks shoddy and possibly drugged, he's the fucking only one doing is work and the footstool of the other worker's, since he need that fucking cash badly to get out of thsi hell. There,s also a few sypathetic employees, who try to cheer him up, ad also that girl. She nice, maybe a bit shy but he is able to make her laugh. Her presence alone is enough to make his job look worthwhile. They are interested by most of the same thing, and soon enough she forget is little quirks. He's feeling reivigorated, happy for the first time in many monts, or most likely years. he then decide to pop the question, asking her out to see some film or to go to a little restaurant he knows. She then reveal that she want's to date the new guy at the office, who is 5 years older and an ex-soldier. The guy then politely say's that as long as she is happy, then he is. Is heart broken, she say's she is happy to hear that, happy to have him as friend, happily asking advice even if she know fully that he is broken inside. And life passes, he feels miserable about himself, always tinking about how he flunked his chances, how he would like to go back in time... A week's or mont's later, he will discover somebody else, and the cycle will continue.
Until he murder her.
stereo
+0 -0
Love is so beautiful.
Love is so beautiful.
falseprophet
+0 -0
The Nice Pete origin story?
The Nice Pete origin story?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I guess all whiteboys have the same origin story to you?
I guess all whiteboys have the same origin story to you?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
please, Lord. don't let gladbag chubby this.
Thank you-
Ray
please, Lord. don't let gladbag chubby this.
Thank you-
Ray
falseprophet
+0 -0
Yeah, they follow Joseph Campbell's Whiteboy Cycle which is
1. Be born into nation whose wealth was garnered through the subjugation of minority races.
2. Be a white person in that nation.
3. ?????
4. Profit!
Yeah, they follow Joseph Campbell's Whiteboy Cycle which is
1. Be born into nation whose wealth was garnered through the subjugation of minority races.
2. Be a white person in that nation.
3. ?????
4. Profit!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
5. Country Club membership
6. Rise to corporate CEO or CFO.
7. SUCCESS!
5. Country Club membership
6. Rise to corporate CEO or CFO.
7. SUCCESS!
stereo
+0 -0
Are there people out there who actually want to be or dream of being a CEO/CFO?
Can I shoot them?
Are there people out there who actually want to be or dream of being a CEO/CFO?
Can I shoot them?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
As long as it works with your origin myth, I'd suppose.
As long as it works with your origin myth, I'd suppose.
fictions
+0 -0
Oh good heavens I have never doubted the hipster - emo connection.
Oh good heavens I have never doubted the hipster - emo connection.
stereo
+1 -0
How dare you hate music. You just think about what you've done, young man. I'm giving you 24 hours to change your avatar into something less rude .
How dare you hate music. You just think about what you've done, young man. I'm giving you 24 hours to change your avatar into something less rude .
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I resent people who are sad, but even this can warm my cockles.
heehee i said cockles
Seriously though, Virginia Slim butt, chewed up wad of Fruit Stripe, off-center typeface Christmas greeting, silent desperation for Mother's approval, shape that is more ugly circle than heart, off-center picture of a guy who looks like he should be named Levi or Artie...
Happy Christmastime, childhood!
I resent people who are sad, but even this can warm my cockles.
heehee i said cockles
Seriously though, Virginia Slim butt, chewed up wad of Fruit Stripe, off-center typeface Christmas greeting, silent desperation for Mother's approval, shape that is more ugly circle than heart, off-center picture of a guy who looks like he should be named Levi or Artie...
Happy Christmastime, childhood!
wozzeck
+0 -0
And a merry Krystalnacht to all!
And a merry Krystalnacht to all!
hamscout
+16 -0
I'm going to put this down at the bottom,
for all the "real assets" of this bar...
Hope this helps...
[IMGS OFF]
I'm going to put this down at the bottom,
for all the "real assets" of this bar...
Hope this helps...
[IMGS OFF]
kickstart
+0 -0
Hahahaha, someone did put a hat on some ham.
And thanks H-scout, right back atcha buddy. I hope Santa brings you the Grand Marquis of your dreams.
Hahahaha, someone did put a hat on some ham.
And thanks H-scout, right back atcha buddy. I hope Santa brings you the Grand Marquis of your dreams.
sje46
+0 -0
Marquis . . .. de Sade!
Marquis . . .. de Sade!
xiaomimi
+4 -0
Thanks, hamscout! Geez, all I got you was this .
Thanks, hamscout! Geez, all I got you was this .
mattylite
+0 -0
Oh my. That made my night.
I think.
Oh my. That made my night.
I think.
hamscout
+0 -0
oh, oh my, what... a lovely... thing you've gotten for me!
I'll just put it right up here on the mantle for everyone to see...
Now, remind me... Are you David Lynch or are we married or both?
oh, oh my, what... a lovely... thing you've gotten for me!
I'll just put it right up here on the mantle for everyone to see...
Now, remind me... Are you David Lynch or are we married or both?
tekende
+0 -0
What is that?
What is that?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Oh god. Cory McAbee. If I have to hear that fucking "Jesse James" song on my local college radio one more time I'm going to tear my lips off and through them at or near a school bus. I might have to wait a few weeks, though, because school is out for the holidays.
Maybe I could just go to the depot? I really hate that song.
Oh god. Cory McAbee. If I have to hear that fucking "Jesse James" song on my local college radio one more time I'm going to tear my lips off and through them at or near a school bus. I might have to wait a few weeks, though, because school is out for the holidays.
Maybe I could just go to the depot? I really hate that song.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Throw. Not through.
Throw. Not through.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
It's french.
It's french.
daedala_x
+2 -0
how about spending two days making 4 ornaments out of glitter and plastic holly and little foam hearts and then you come home and your family doesn't have a tree and your dad jerks them out of your hand, hangs them on chopsticks, and dangles them in front of your face. then he suggests we go to any one of the local churches to see if they're serving free food.
happy christmastime, immigrant childhood!
how about spending two days making 4 ornaments out of glitter and plastic holly and little foam hearts and then you come home and your family doesn't have a tree and your dad jerks them out of your hand, hangs them on chopsticks, and dangles them in front of your face. then he suggests we go to any one of the local churches to see if they're serving free food.
happy christmastime, immigrant childhood!
wozzeck
+0 -0
Dangling them in your face was a bit much.
Dangling them in your face was a bit much.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Did he beat you?
Did you beat him?
Did he beat you?
Did you beat him?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
HUGGGGGGGGGSS!
HUGGGGGGGGGSS!
desert_donkey
+0 -0
my favorite part was the not having the tree. no wait, it was the dangling in the face. but the free church food part was good as well.
my favorite part was the not having the tree. no wait, it was the dangling in the face. but the free church food part was good as well.
hellofditties
+0 -0
My favourite part of this whole page is your icon.
My favourite part of this whole page is your icon.
desert_donkey
+2 -0
Fizzgig, aka 'Fizzy', is the shit.
bitey fucker. just like my parents ol' dog gus. got him from a foster home. nickname was "psycho". fucker'd turn on you for GOD ONLY KNOW WHAT. if dropped a crumb or whatever.. you didn't pick it up unless you wanted some blood drawn. Gus demanded a pound of flesh for anything he considered a transgression.
yet at other times, just like Fizzgig, he'd be the sweetest little man on earth.
this is typical Gus look. kind of a "i'm cute / fuck you bitch" look. and he meant it.
[IMGS OFF]
Fizzgig, aka 'Fizzy', is the shit.
bitey fucker. just like my parents ol' dog gus. got him from a foster home. nickname was "psycho". fucker'd turn on you for GOD ONLY KNOW WHAT. if dropped a crumb or whatever.. you didn't pick it up unless you wanted some blood drawn. Gus demanded a pound of flesh for anything he considered a transgression.
yet at other times, just like Fizzgig, he'd be the sweetest little man on earth.
this is typical Gus look. kind of a "i'm cute / fuck you bitch" look. and he meant it.
[IMGS OFF]
hellofditties
+0 -0
MAKE IT STOP
MAKE IT STOP
xi
+0 -1
Adorable, yet deadly.
[IMGS OFF]
Adorable, yet deadly.
[IMGS OFF]
stereo
+0 -0
Small children are a choking hazard. All those tiny bones.
Small children are a choking hazard. All those tiny bones.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
what about the chopsticks
what about the chopsticks
desert_donkey
+0 -0
indicates the east asian persuasion.
indicates the east asian persuasion.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I think David Foster Wallace had a short story in Brief Interviews about a guy remembering that at some point in his childhood his dad dangled something in his face (it was a penis).
I think David Foster Wallace had a short story in Brief Interviews about a guy remembering that at some point in his childhood his dad dangled something in his face (it was a penis).
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Maybe they were very poor and his dad couldn't afford toys and mobiles and such.
Maybe they were very poor and his dad couldn't afford toys and mobiles and such.
xi
+0 -0
How did you get an avatar of my cat?
How did you get an avatar of my cat?
benthecartoon
+0 -0
You haven't heard of Seka?
How come?
You haven't heard of Seka?
How come?
hyetal
+0 -0
I do not have circumstances such as Roast Beef's, and thus I am not as interesting as Roast Beef. I would say that this depresses me, but then I would be like the kids in high school that claim they're the incarnation of Evil.
I do not have circumstances such as Roast Beef's, and thus I am not as interesting as Roast Beef. I would say that this depresses me, but then I would be like the kids in high school that claim they're the incarnation of Evil.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I derive infinite mirth from seeing those kids walking their mothers' poodles on suburban streets.
I derive infinite mirth from seeing those kids walking their mothers' poodles on suburban streets.
stereo
+0 -0
Poodles are honestly frightening. Especially the minis. There is a burning hate in their eyes, and you just know if they weren't so small they would totally be sinking their teeth into your tender flesh.
Poodles are honestly frightening. Especially the minis. There is a burning hate in their eyes, and you just know if they weren't so small they would totally be sinking their teeth into your tender flesh.
tekende
+0 -0
They are an extremely ugly breed of dog.
They are an extremely ugly breed of dog.
fablesandblues
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Your flesh is teeennnderrr.
[IMGS OFF]
Your flesh is teeennnderrr.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Bruno was the baddest pit bull in the yard. He wasn't clipped so he was basically like a watermelon with nuts.
Did the chick dogs want him? Yeah they wanted him. But he had some wine to taste. Expensive-ass wine from the Asian steppes.
[IMGS OFF]
Bruno was the baddest pit bull in the yard. He wasn't clipped so he was basically like a watermelon with nuts.
Did the chick dogs want him? Yeah they wanted him. But he had some wine to taste. Expensive-ass wine from the Asian steppes.
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Unstyled poodles are wonderful animals, like friendly sheep who only eat grass when they want to throw up.
Unstyled poodles are wonderful animals, like friendly sheep who only eat grass when they want to throw up.
howl
+0 -0
My Oma raises standard poodles, and they are basically the best dogs ever. When they get excited they bounce, several feet in the air.
My Oma raises standard poodles, and they are basically the best dogs ever. When they get excited they bounce, several feet in the air.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Great, now I want one even more.
Great, now I want one even more.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
So I guess daedala is no longer the sole representative of Asian America on Assetbar.
So I guess daedala is no longer the sole representative of Asian America on Assetbar.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Think they Asian just because raise dogs fo food very racist and bad!
Think they Asian just because raise dogs fo food very racist and bad!
wozzeck
+0 -0
What makes you assume daedala is Asian? Just because her father implemented chop-sticks in his cruel mockery of her little girlhood? Maybe she's a Mexican whose parents couldn't afford the luxury of Western culture's metallic eating utensils. Didn't think of that, did you, racist ?
What makes you assume daedala is Asian? Just because her father implemented chop-sticks in his cruel mockery of her little girlhood? Maybe she's a Mexican whose parents couldn't afford the luxury of Western culture's metallic eating utensils. Didn't think of that, did you, racist ?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Are you making an obscure, inside reference-funneh?
Because all of us that saw them assumed that from the pics she posted of the cute Amer-Asian chick with tinfoil bra-cups that Onstad was drinking out of...that she implied were of her...was her.
Are you making an obscure, inside reference-funneh?
Because all of us that saw them assumed that from the pics she posted of the cute Amer-Asian chick with tinfoil bra-cups that Onstad was drinking out of...that she implied were of her...was her.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Not to mention that she explicitly said that she was. Anyway, Oma is the Korean word for Mom.
Not to mention that she explicitly said that she was. Anyway, Oma is the Korean word for Mom.
wozzeck
+0 -0
I was exercising my God-given right to deliberately be an ass to people.
I was exercising my God-given right to deliberately be an ass to people.
biff
+0 -0
Would that be your God-given ass-right?
Or your God givin' ass, right?
Would that be your God-given ass-right?
Or your God givin' ass, right?
howl
+1 -0
YOU GUYS. Oma is the German word for grandmother. Jeez.
YOU GUYS. Oma is the German word for grandmother. Jeez.
wozzeck
+0 -0
How did I miss this?
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2xCd3b#comment_1168uua2xCd3b#comment_1168
How did I miss this?
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2xCd3b#comment_1168uua2xCd3b#comment_1168
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
crap. my embedded image of Bruno the pit bull who looked like a watermelon with nuts ran away.
I guess his owner came and got him.
crap. my embedded image of Bruno the pit bull who looked like a watermelon with nuts ran away.
I guess his owner came and got him.
psyko514
+2 -0
The next time Philippe asks Liebot what the saddest thing ever is, Liebot will show him the last panel of this comic.
The next time Philippe asks Liebot what the saddest thing ever is, Liebot will show him the last panel of this comic.
westsider8
+0 -0
Word. I second that.
Word. I second that.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Liebot doesn't feel depression, but his programming can spot it a mile away.
Liebot doesn't feel depression, but his programming can spot it a mile away.
stereo
+0 -0
He probably smokes just so he can leave cigarette butts in scenes like this.
He probably smokes just so he can leave cigarette butts in scenes like this.
theirateturk
+0 -0
Fuck what I said about not quoting Achewood in your daily life; That's what a loser does, [insert Friend's name]! He LOSES things! is now bread and butter in all future conversations remotely linked to loss/ loserdom
Fuck what I said about not quoting Achewood in your daily life; That's what a loser does, [insert Friend's name]! He LOSES things! is now bread and butter in all future conversations remotely linked to loss/ loserdom
mrisaka
+0 -0
Man. This is not helping my depression.
Man. This is not helping my depression.
fancypants
+0 -0
you're not helping my depression
you're not helping my depression
fuzzyshoo
+0 -1
I've actually been hit pretty hard by the S.O.S.A.D. this year. Not even joking. I've spent the past month wondering why I'm cursed to never be able to commit to an actual relationship instead of just going out and screwing. Yeah, most guys would say there's nothing wrong with that.. but my best friend is getting married next year and I'm going to be completely alone so I guess I'm kinda feeling obligated to fill that void with a lady so I have someone to laugh with, except I'm just too screwed up to be able to do that.
This strip made me feel a little bit better about it though. Not because Beef and I are basically the same person, but I smiled.
Thank you Mr. Onstad. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
I've actually been hit pretty hard by the S.O.S.A.D. this year. Not even joking. I've spent the past month wondering why I'm cursed to never be able to commit to an actual relationship instead of just going out and screwing. Yeah, most guys would say there's nothing wrong with that.. but my best friend is getting married next year and I'm going to be completely alone so I guess I'm kinda feeling obligated to fill that void with a lady so I have someone to laugh with, except I'm just too screwed up to be able to do that.
This strip made me feel a little bit better about it though. Not because Beef and I are basically the same person, but I smiled.
Thank you Mr. Onstad. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You and zapatos should start a support group for Dudes Who Get Laid Too Much And Feel Bad About It, because I don't think anyone else is going to feel sorry for you.
You and zapatos should start a support group for Dudes Who Get Laid Too Much And Feel Bad About It, because I don't think anyone else is going to feel sorry for you.
kickstart
+19 -0
They meet down the hall from Coping With Diamond Infestations and Oh Man This Lunch Is Too Delicious
They meet down the hall from Coping With Diamond Infestations and Oh Man This Lunch Is Too Delicious
belgand
+0 -0
The problem is that guys usually are complaining about lack of both sex and a relationship. Or they're complaining about the relationship because it means a lack of sex. There's rarely that middle ground.
The problem is that guys usually are complaining about lack of both sex and a relationship. Or they're complaining about the relationship because it means a lack of sex. There's rarely that middle ground.
theguitarhero
+1 -1
Who is having a sex relationship?
Me. (I Am.)
Who is having a sex relationship?
Me. (I Am.)
benthecartoon
+0 -0
Let's start our OWN support group.
Let's start our OWN support group.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Guys Who Are Doing Pretty Okay, Both Dick-Wise And Emotionally, But Nothing Fancy Unless We've Had A Few And Have Been Watching College Volleyball
Guys Who Are Doing Pretty Okay, Both Dick-Wise And Emotionally, But Nothing Fancy Unless We've Had A Few And Have Been Watching College Volleyball
anticitizen
+0 -0
or G.W.A.D.P.O.B.D.W.A.E.B.N.F.U.W.H.A.F.A.H.B.W.C.V.
for short
or G.W.A.D.P.O.B.D.W.A.E.B.N.F.U.W.H.A.F.A.H.B.W.C.V.
for short
desert_donkey
+0 -0
WOMEN'S PRO BEACH VOLLEYBALL... watching that definitely separates the men from the fa.. err... gays.
WOMEN'S PRO BEACH VOLLEYBALL... watching that definitely separates the men from the fa.. err... gays.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
How could you be depressed in a 427 Cammer?
A car like that lets you relive/revise your adolescence.
How could you be depressed in a 427 Cammer?
A car like that lets you relive/revise your adolescence.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
Man, Beef can be depressed at Disney Land, a place literally called The Happiest Place On Earth.
Man, Beef can be depressed at Disney Land, a place literally called The Happiest Place On Earth.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
disneyland actually sucks unless you are a little or a parent enjoying being with their little kid.
disneyland actually sucks unless you are a little or a parent enjoying being with their little kid.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
I LOVE IT!!!
ray's fucking rusty shirt, Seka .. ubiquitous 80's icons and just what is on a HS teenagers mind. so fucking 80's! and that that would be beef's last thot before he died.
merry Christmas to us, from Achewood.
I LOVE IT!!!
ray's fucking rusty shirt, Seka .. ubiquitous 80's icons and just what is on a HS teenagers mind. so fucking 80's! and that that would be beef's last thot before he died.
merry Christmas to us, from Achewood.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Seka was an "exotic" sex object long before the internet made exotic common. I had never seen anything like her. Alas, there is no longer anything that will arouse me from the torpor of everyday life.
I miss Seka circa '80!
Seka was an "exotic" sex object long before the internet made exotic common. I had never seen anything like her. Alas, there is no longer anything that will arouse me from the torpor of everyday life.
I miss Seka circa '80!
belgand
+0 -0
Exotic? She just seemed like a fairly average blonde bimboish type. I mean, she seemed to be up for quite a lot and she shaved before that was particularly common, but I never understood the appeal.
The 70s and early 80s were a much better time for more reasonable girl-next-door types.
Exotic? She just seemed like a fairly average blonde bimboish type. I mean, she seemed to be up for quite a lot and she shaved before that was particularly common, but I never understood the appeal.
The 70s and early 80s were a much better time for more reasonable girl-next-door types.
count_drunkula
+0 -0
This strip makes me want to call my mother.
And tell her what a crap parent she was for using my depression to manipulate me, especially after my dad died. Too close to home.
This strip makes me want to call my mother.
And tell her what a crap parent she was for using my depression to manipulate me, especially after my dad died. Too close to home.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Remember, most fatal accidents happen close to home.
Remember, most fatal accidents happen close to home.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
That's why we moved.
That's why we moved.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I was so hoping that was going to say "Remember, most fatal accidents happen close to me."
Captain Spaulding, you've done it again!
I was so hoping that was going to say "Remember, most fatal accidents happen close to me."
Captain Spaulding, you've done it again!
desert_donkey
+0 -1
last time i ate at a Burger King was in the late 80's. it was near the beach so we'd hit it up after a bit o' surfing.
well.. went in there one time and there was this bum lady in their. she was sporing a full whiskery beard and a mustache. NEVER ATE AT A BURGER KING AGAIN. and i still (20 years later) have nightmares about Burger King.
last time i ate at a Burger King was in the late 80's. it was near the beach so we'd hit it up after a bit o' surfing.
well.. went in there one time and there was this bum lady in their. she was sporing a full whiskery beard and a mustache. NEVER ATE AT A BURGER KING AGAIN. and i still (20 years later) have nightmares about Burger King.
tekende
+0 -0
Unless the Bearded Lady was an employee at Burger King, you can hardly blame the store (let alone the entire chain) for that.
Unless the Bearded Lady was an employee at Burger King, you can hardly blame the store (let alone the entire chain) for that.
hellofditties
+0 -0
My local bearded lady eats at Burger King every day.
I would show you a photo but I'm sure you will all believe me anyway.
My local bearded lady eats at Burger King every day.
I would show you a photo but I'm sure you will all believe me anyway.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Sure you can. Remember when Pat stopped shopping at Whole Foods because one of the female employees had armpit hair?
Sure you can. Remember when Pat stopped shopping at Whole Foods because one of the female employees had armpit hair?
aaroncolter
+4 -0
Hey Achewood fans!
I do some work with Onstad for Dark Horse Comics and I thought I'd share two videos from the Great Outdoor Fight tour. Hope you enjoy!
1) Ann Arbor District Library, MI:
https://www.aadl.org/video/view/3315
2) Google Talks, NYC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2ZOSZZTIiE&feature=channel_page
Hey Achewood fans!
I do some work with Onstad for Dark Horse Comics and I thought I'd share two videos from the Great Outdoor Fight tour. Hope you enjoy!
1) Ann Arbor District Library, MI:
https://www.aadl.org/video/view/3315
2) Google Talks, NYC:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2ZOSZZTIiE&feature=channel_page
stereo
+0 -0
That guy really loves saying strip , doesn't he.
Strip.
That guy really loves saying strip , doesn't he.
Strip.
tekende
+0 -0
He's also really annoying.
He's also really annoying.
utv
+0 -0
Hey is that Ann Arbor interview the first time Onstad's let slip the backstory of Philippe? To my mind, that answers a pretty major question, namely "Why does a five-year-old with living relatives live with a bunch of thirty-something slackers, party animals, and dirty dudes?"
Hey is that Ann Arbor interview the first time Onstad's let slip the backstory of Philippe? To my mind, that answers a pretty major question, namely "Why does a five-year-old with living relatives live with a bunch of thirty-something slackers, party animals, and dirty dudes?"
belgand
+0 -0
Tell those of us too lazy to watch the damn video.
Tell those of us too lazy to watch the damn video.
tekende
+1 -0
He said there's going to be a book that explains all of that, but that the basic idea is that Philippe's mother sells stuff on ebay and at some point accidentally ships Philippe to California.
He said there's going to be a book that explains all of that, but that the basic idea is that Philippe's mother sells stuff on ebay and at some point accidentally ships Philippe to California.
belgand
+0 -0
Truly something that has happened to all of us. Except when it was me I was returned instead of an L.L. Fleece Pullover back in 1986. Things took a lot longer then and since we didn't have eBay, well, you can imagine the many mix-ups and problems that would occur.
A good friend of mine at the time was accidentally sent to one of his father's obscure cousins as a Christmas present.
I believe that's even an option of PayPal now:
*Account
*Credit
*Mislaid child
Truly something that has happened to all of us. Except when it was me I was returned instead of an L.L. Fleece Pullover back in 1986. Things took a lot longer then and since we didn't have eBay, well, you can imagine the many mix-ups and problems that would occur.
A good friend of mine at the time was accidentally sent to one of his father's obscure cousins as a Christmas present.
I believe that's even an option of PayPal now:
*Account
*Credit
*Mislaid child
hamscout
+5 -0
When I was about six years old, my momma took me to the city.
We went to one of those big old department stores, and I got lost.
They tried to page her, but the PA system was on the fritz.
I never saw my momma again.
Some people from the cosmetics department fed me a bowl of soup and some bread. Days stretched into weeks.
One February they got jammed up during the semi-annual Lincoln's birthday sale, and they asked me to help out in Pre-Teen Maternity.
Then one day I overheard a conversation in personnel about them needing a new jingle for their radio ad. So I picked up my guitar and I wrote down a tune that had been mulling and creeping and crawling around in my head.
It went something like this...
[sings]
When I was about six years old, my momma took me to the city.
We went to one of those big old department stores, and I got lost.
They tried to page her, but the PA system was on the fritz.
I never saw my momma again.
Some people from the cosmetics department fed me a bowl of soup and some bread. Days stretched into weeks.
One February they got jammed up during the semi-annual Lincoln's birthday sale, and they asked me to help out in Pre-Teen Maternity.
Then one day I overheard a conversation in personnel about them needing a new jingle for their radio ad. So I picked up my guitar and I wrote down a tune that had been mulling and creeping and crawling around in my head.
It went something like this...
[sings]
tekende
+0 -0
This is a wonderful reference. Unfortunately, I seem to be out of chubbies.
This is a wonderful reference. Unfortunately, I seem to be out of chubbies.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I'll front you one, just because I didn't get the reference but it seemed wonderful all the same.
I'll front you one, just because I didn't get the reference but it seemed wonderful all the same.
tekende
+0 -0
It is from the hilarious movie Top Secret . This references the scene in which an Elvis-type singer tells the story above, and then begins to play "Are You Lonely Tonight?" but with lyrics about a sale at Sears.
It is from the hilarious movie Top Secret . This references the scene in which an Elvis-type singer tells the story above, and then begins to play "Are You Lonely Tonight?" but with lyrics about a sale at Sears.
hamscout
+0 -0
Macy's, actually, but you're spot on.
Enjoy [url=https://iheartmedia.vox.com/library/posts/tags/are you lonesome tonight/]some fine Kilmer[/url] this holiday season.
Macy's, actually, but you're spot on.
Enjoy [url=https://iheartmedia.vox.com/library/posts/tags/are you lonesome tonight/]some fine Kilmer[/url] this holiday season.
hamscout
+0 -0
Neither the asset-link, nor the you tube video at the end of it, work.
It's a Double-Fuck-You-Friday! (Holiday Edition!)
Neither the asset-link, nor the you tube video at the end of it, work.
It's a Double-Fuck-You-Friday! (Holiday Edition!)
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Also, it's "are you lone some tonight," but I'm as much of a dick about Top Secret quoting as I am about Star Wars quoting, mainly because I watched them both waaay too much when I was 10 years old.
shop at Macy's
and love me
tonight
Also, it's "are you lone some tonight," but I'm as much of a dick about Top Secret quoting as I am about Star Wars quoting, mainly because I watched them both waaay too much when I was 10 years old.
shop at Macy's
and love me
tonight
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Do your tears short out your electric blanket?
Or something very similar.
Do your tears short out your electric blanket?
Or something very similar.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Chubby just for telling us poor mooks who can't watch shit at work.
Chubby just for telling us poor mooks who can't watch shit at work.
tekende
+0 -0
I, on the other hand, had nothing to do at work but watch that (more than hour long!) video.
I, on the other hand, had nothing to do at work but watch that (more than hour long!) video.
tekende
+0 -0
Good lord. The librarian talks exactly like every elementary school teacher ever.
Good lord. The librarian talks exactly like every elementary school teacher ever.
rowboat
+0 -0
And the moderator talks exactly like every elementary school student who's ass I ever kicked.
God damn, I miss kicking asses. Now I'm depressed....
And the moderator talks exactly like every elementary school student who's ass I ever kicked.
God damn, I miss kicking asses. Now I'm depressed....
sje46
+0 -0
You can kick mine, I mean, if you really want.
You can kick mine, I mean, if you really want.
rowboat
+0 -0
*physically destroys sje*
*physically destroys sje*
lateadopter
+1 -0
Somebody already added a reference to this strip to the wikipedia page about Seka. It is the last word, in fact. Clearly the highlight of her career.
Somebody already added a reference to this strip to the wikipedia page about Seka. It is the last word, in fact. Clearly the highlight of her career.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Achewood has become a cartoon about porn stars.
Achewood has become a cartoon about porn stars.
mnemonic
+0 -0
There's 2 or 3 really good strips in this one strip. Awesome.
There's 2 or 3 really good strips in this one strip. Awesome.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This is the Voltron of Achewood strips.
This is the Voltron of Achewood strips.
anticitizen
+1 -0
and the GzA's the head.
and the GzA's the head.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, the first row is basically a solid 4 on its own. This whole strip definitely feels like it's from a year ago. It makes me happy that he hasn't completely lost it. And look! When the strip is funny the comments are funny too!
Except this comment of mine here. That one sucks.
Yea, the first row is basically a solid 4 on its own. This whole strip definitely feels like it's from a year ago. It makes me happy that he hasn't completely lost it. And look! When the strip is funny the comments are funny too!
Except this comment of mine here. That one sucks.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I'm digging on Chris' little foray into more detailed backgrounds (Can I call him Chris? I'm calling him Chris). That gum, that cigarette butt, that soft, textured(? gradient..ed?) sunset.
I'm digging on Chris' little foray into more detailed backgrounds (Can I call him Chris? I'm calling him Chris). That gum, that cigarette butt, that soft, textured(? gradient..ed?) sunset.
sje46
+0 -0
You suck. Yourself. I hate you, douchebag.
(Am I doing it right? Am I funny?)
You suck. Yourself. I hate you, douchebag.
(Am I doing it right? Am I funny?)
belgand
+0 -0
No offense to anyone, but I've found these comments less funny on average. Especially not long after it went up it looked like a lot fewer of the regulars and a lot of rather dull comments that didn't do anything for me.
Very little of the funny.
No offense to anyone, but I've found these comments less funny on average. Especially not long after it went up it looked like a lot fewer of the regulars and a lot of rather dull comments that didn't do anything for me.
Very little of the funny.
achilleselbow
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Do you like this? Does this make any sense to you?
[IMGS OFF]
Do you like this? Does this make any sense to you?
lateadopter
+0 -0
Overheard yesterday from my son's cartoon on public TV:
Father: Look at this nice slice of tomato!
Narrator: Caillou liked doing the same thing Daddy was doing. But he liked helping Mommy, too!
Overheard yesterday from my son's cartoon on public TV:
Father: Look at this nice slice of tomato!
Narrator: Caillou liked doing the same thing Daddy was doing. But he liked helping Mommy, too!
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
so calilu uses is tung an dady jus sperms n goes. maks since
so calilu uses is tung an dady jus sperms n goes. maks since
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Glad is talking about gay incest among animated characters.
Glad is talking about gay incest among animated characters.
xi
+0 -0
And you totally called him on it.
And you totally called him on it.
mattylite
+0 -0
Make sense? That image is, like, only the universe's BASIC UNIT OF MEANING.
Make sense? That image is, like, only the universe's BASIC UNIT OF MEANING.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It makes perfect sense. It is Philippe and Ms. Floatie who helped him across the Bay to the transfer station to find his old friend, Sofa King.
It makes perfect sense. It is Philippe and Ms. Floatie who helped him across the Bay to the transfer station to find his old friend, Sofa King.
belgand
+0 -0
A slight chortle, but by no means approaching a guffaw. The child, frankly, ruins it for me. Plus it's not so much your own work or photoshop or even a well set-up joke as an amusing picture that you have passed along without context or in response to something so it loses something there.
A slight chortle, but by no means approaching a guffaw. The child, frankly, ruins it for me. Plus it's not so much your own work or photoshop or even a well set-up joke as an amusing picture that you have passed along without context or in response to something so it loses something there.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You forgot to say how many stars you give it.
You forgot to say how many stars you give it.
stereo
+0 -0
On his effective scale of 0 to 1 stars (out of 5) this appears to be about a quarter of a star.
On his effective scale of 0 to 1 stars (out of 5) this appears to be about a quarter of a star.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
His effective scale runs from black hole to 2 dwarfs.
His effective scale runs from black hole to 2 dwarfs.
belgand
+0 -0
You may be surprised, but I tend to rate most things 3 out of 5 though I prefer to give them a 5 out of 10 even though it's not quite the exact middle I pretend that it is.
I forgot that I was doing that "rating assets" shtick so I failed to provide a star rating. If I had probably 2/5. (Below-average)
You may be surprised, but I tend to rate most things 3 out of 5 though I prefer to give them a 5 out of 10 even though it's not quite the exact middle I pretend that it is.
I forgot that I was doing that "rating assets" shtick so I failed to provide a star rating. If I had probably 2/5. (Below-average)
xi
+0 -0
You are like the king of Negative Nancies.
You are like the king of Negative Nancies.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
He is like a Churlish Charlemagne or a Foul-Tempered Ferdinand.
He is like a Churlish Charlemagne or a Foul-Tempered Ferdinand.
belgand
+0 -0
At least I don't go around ripping people's dicks off Mr. Wong Burger.
At least I don't go around ripping people's dicks off Mr. Wong Burger.
rowboat
+0 -0
Sje's fifth birthday?
Sje's fifth birthday?
zapatos
+0 -0
Start 'em young.
Start 'em young.
zapatos
+0 -0
I haven't seen much anything I cared to reply to. There are other things occupying my time I suppose, the most absurd of ideas... yet I entertain them all the same.
I pay even more attention to them actually.
I haven't seen much anything I cared to reply to. There are other things occupying my time I suppose, the most absurd of ideas... yet I entertain them all the same.
I pay even more attention to them actually.
rawk5tar
+0 -0
I don't know who Ian Curtis is and frankly, I don't think I want to know.
I don't know who Ian Curtis is and frankly, I don't think I want to know.
mattylite
+5 -0
I bet if he heard you say that he'd just... he'd just... kill himself.
I bet if he heard you say that he'd just... he'd just... kill himself.
stereo
+0 -0
And then write a song about it.
And then write a song about it.
tekende
+0 -0
I should think that progression of events would be pretty difficult to achieve.
I should think that progression of events would be pretty difficult to achieve.
stereo
+0 -0
His Daddy always told Him to Write what he Knew.
His Daddy always told Him to Write what he Knew.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ian Curtis was punk rock personified.
He killed himself at the START of Joy Division's first ever US tour (I think that's what it was) therefore robbing American fans of the chance to see the band.
Ian Curtis was punk rock personified.
He killed himself at the START of Joy Division's first ever US tour (I think that's what it was) therefore robbing American fans of the chance to see the band.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
(I was driving around listening to the Best Of album today and basically the only thing keeping me from slaughtering jackasses in the mall was that as soon as I left I knew I would be listening to Joy Division.)
(I was driving around listening to the Best Of album today and basically the only thing keeping me from slaughtering jackasses in the mall was that as soon as I left I knew I would be listening to Joy Division.)
tekende
+1 -0
You tried to go to the mall six days before Christmas? Are you crazy?
You tried to go to the mall six days before Christmas? Are you crazy?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well I needed to buy new shoes for work and to finish Christmas shopping.
It wasn't that busy, actually, but I almost murdered a couple of people in the graphic novel section of the bookstore for saying stupid things about Batman and being way to obsessed about The Joker.
Well I needed to buy new shoes for work and to finish Christmas shopping.
It wasn't that busy, actually, but I almost murdered a couple of people in the graphic novel section of the bookstore for saying stupid things about Batman and being way to obsessed about The Joker.
sje46
+0 -0
I haven't even started shopping yet.
I haven't even started shopping yet.
stereo
+0 -0
Good news guys, I finished my Christmas shopping today (coincidentally I started it today too!)
Good news guys, I finished my Christmas shopping today (coincidentally I started it today too!)
sje46
+0 -0
I did the day before yesterday, on the day I started too. *high five*
It was movig day too *rolls eyes*
I did the day before yesterday, on the day I started too. *high five*
It was movig day too *rolls eyes*
rowboat
+0 -0
And in doing so, he saved himself from having to play a lot of very sparsely populated shows. All of the people who would later turn him into a god were sucking tits, if even alive yet.
And in doing so, he saved himself from having to play a lot of very sparsely populated shows. All of the people who would later turn him into a god were sucking tits, if even alive yet.
deadpool
+0 -0
That's rough man. Real rough.
That's rough man. Real rough.
deovalente
+0 -0
The whole Burger King section is like a page out of my life. Hooray intense social anxiety/agoraphobia!
The whole Burger King section is like a page out of my life. Hooray intense social anxiety/agoraphobia!
mattylite
+0 -0
The crooked panel at the end of the second line: Man, Onstad is so subtle with that sort of thing. Didn't even notice til the seventh or so time I read it. Does it's job without you noticing. Cool.
The crooked panel at the end of the second line: Man, Onstad is so subtle with that sort of thing. Didn't even notice til the seventh or so time I read it. Does it's job without you noticing. Cool.
lawdog
+0 -0
The final panel is evocative of racing home when you're 9 years old to comfort your deathly ill dog, your best friend in the world, only to arrive seconds after it passed away. In pain. Whimpering for you until its final breath.
Onstad can be a cruel mistress.
The final panel is evocative of racing home when you're 9 years old to comfort your deathly ill dog, your best friend in the world, only to arrive seconds after it passed away. In pain. Whimpering for you until its final breath.
Onstad can be a cruel mistress.
anticitizen
+0 -0
yes. yes it is exactly like that.
yes. yes it is exactly like that.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Did anyone else, seeing the first panel, assume this was going to be a rendition of "Because I got High" with altered lyrics? No? I did.
Ahem.
Okay, get to it.
Did anyone else, seeing the first panel, assume this was going to be a rendition of "Because I got High" with altered lyrics? No? I did.
Ahem.
Okay, get to it.
stereo
+0 -0
I was gonna eat a burger, but then I got depression.
I was gonna eat a burger, but then I got depression.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I was gonna go outside, but then I got depressed...
I was gonna go outside, but then I got depressed...
belgand
+0 -0
I was going to get this reference, but then I didn't.
Is it some sort of song?
I was going to get this reference, but then I didn't.
Is it some sort of song?
sje46
+0 -0
"Because I got High" by Afroman?
"Because I got High" by Afroman?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah, it's not like i_love_kate didn't spell out the joke at the very beginning of the thread, for all to see.
Yeah, it's not like i_love_kate didn't spell out the joke at the very beginning of the thread, for all to see.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's not like that at all.
It's not like that at all.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I couldn't remember the artist and am not making use of Google or Wikipedia for three weeks on a bet. Sorry for partying.
I couldn't remember the artist and am not making use of Google or Wikipedia for three weeks on a bet. Sorry for partying.
sje46
+0 -0
Awesome bet. A better bet would be to never come on assetbar again, douche
(Am I doing it right, elbox? I don't want to do this! I like Mr. Frynapple!)
Awesome bet. A better bet would be to never come on assetbar again, douche
(Am I doing it right, elbox? I don't want to do this! I like Mr. Frynapple!)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was gonna have a meaningful and productive life, but then I got depression.
I was gonna have a meaningful and productive life, but then I got depression.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
And thennnnnnn-
You was choppin' broc-co-liiiii..
And thennnnnnn-
You was choppin' broc-co-liiiii..
thousandsons
+1 -0
Philippe: Okay, I'm ready now. For reals.
Lie Bot: Are you sure kid? I mean, really sure?
Philippe: Yes! Really, really sure! Tell me; what is the saddest thing?
Lie Bot: (looks around furitively and leans in to whisper)
Lie Bot: *Roast Beef*
Philippe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Philippe: Okay, I'm ready now. For reals.
Lie Bot: Are you sure kid? I mean, really sure?
Philippe: Yes! Really, really sure! Tell me; what is the saddest thing?
Lie Bot: (looks around furitively and leans in to whisper)
Lie Bot: *Roast Beef*
Philippe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Philippe would not say "for reals."
Philippe would not say "for reals."
foea
+0 -0
Correct.
Correct.
daidai
+0 -0
If he did, Connie would go after him with the pennyloafer.
If he did, Connie would go after him with the pennyloafer.
rawk5tar
+0 -0
What, is he at an Iraqi press conference?
OH POP CULTURE RIGHT IN YOUR FACE
What, is he at an Iraqi press conference?
OH POP CULTURE RIGHT IN YOUR FACE
catgrl131
+0 -0
TOPICAL!
TOPICAL!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
INFORMATIVE!
INFORMATIVE!
tekende
+0 -0
DELICIOUS BUT FILLING!
DELICIOUS BUT FILLING!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
GREAT TASTE! LESS FILLING!
GREAT TASTE! LESS FILLING!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Delicious butt filling?
Delicious butt filling?
snidedk
+0 -0
I mean, honestly? Who throws a shoe?
I mean, honestly? Who throws a shoe?
scorpio_nadir
+4 -0
They shoe horses, don't they?
They shoe horses, don't they?
xi
+0 -0
Nyuck nyuck nyuck.
Nyuck nyuck nyuck.
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Why would he jump in puddles.
Why would ANYONE jump in puddles why do PEOPLE jump in puddles this is all I can think after viewing this strip.
Why would he jump in puddles.
Why would ANYONE jump in puddles why do PEOPLE jump in puddles this is all I can think after viewing this strip.
sje46
+0 -0
Obviously someone here has never tried it.
Ever have an orgasm?
Multiply that by .08. That's how good jumping in a puddle feels.
Obviously someone here has never tried it.
Ever have an orgasm?
Multiply that by .08. That's how good jumping in a puddle feels.
stereo
+0 -0
Except if it has a slippery bottom, and you fall down. Then it is like one of those fancy dancy graphs from XKCD, where it goes up and then it sharply drops.
Except if it has a slippery bottom, and you fall down. Then it is like one of those fancy dancy graphs from XKCD, where it goes up and then it sharply drops.
stereo
+0 -0
At the bottom is a new pair of pants and endless shame.
At the bottom is a new pair of pants and endless shame.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you talking about jumping in a puddle or an orgasm?
Are you talking about jumping in a puddle or an orgasm?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
WHY FIND OUT?
WHY FIND OUT?
arkaic
+0 -0
The seventh panel (the RB in his car) is all kinds of poignant.
The seventh panel (the RB in his car) is all kinds of poignant.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
All kinds of pregnant?
All kinds of pregnant?
sje46
+0 -0
How is babby formed?
How is babby formed?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's eggo is preggo.
It's eggo is preggo.
fictions
+0 -0
Panels 8 and 9 are proof that Chris Onstad has the best sense of timing of anyone in this business.
Panels 8 and 9 are proof that Chris Onstad has the best sense of timing of anyone in this business.
morypcaina
+0 -0
But...but Ian Curtis isn't a band!
But...but Ian Curtis isn't a band!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ian Curtis WAS the band.
I don't like New Order so much.
Ian Curtis WAS the band.
I don't like New Order so much.
fictions
+0 -0
Actually that is false. Ian Curtis was not the band. Ian Curtis was lead vocalist. There were three other people in Joy Division plus a very talented producer.
It is also false that Joy Division without Curtis would have been New Order.
Actually that is false. Ian Curtis was not the band. Ian Curtis was lead vocalist. There were three other people in Joy Division plus a very talented producer.
It is also false that Joy Division without Curtis would have been New Order.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Except Joy Division without Curtis IS New Order.
Joy Division's wikipedia
New Order's wikipedia
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm some major fan when I just recently got into them and obviously wasn't around when they were around, I just like Joy Division better than New Order.
Also I know that Ian Curtis wasn't the entire band, unless you were kidding about that.
Except Joy Division without Curtis IS New Order.
Joy Division's wikipedia
New Order's wikipedia
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm some major fan when I just recently got into them and obviously wasn't around when they were around, I just like Joy Division better than New Order.
Also I know that Ian Curtis wasn't the entire band, unless you were kidding about that.
fictions
+0 -0
Yeah, I was being flippant. But if you want to argue that without Curtis the sound would have been the same as New Order's then I really don't see how that can hold up. The difference probably because New Order was writing music at a different time in a different scene. Early New Order and late Joy Division are pretty much exactly the same. But I agree that Joy Division was the better band.
Yeah, I was being flippant. But if you want to argue that without Curtis the sound would have been the same as New Order's then I really don't see how that can hold up. The difference probably because New Order was writing music at a different time in a different scene. Early New Order and late Joy Division are pretty much exactly the same. But I agree that Joy Division was the better band.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm not arguing that, in the beginning, it would have been the same, I'm saying that without Curtis they BECAME New Order. Which is true, right?
I'm not arguing that, in the beginning, it would have been the same, I'm saying that without Curtis they BECAME New Order. Which is true, right?
fictions
+0 -0
Yes, but if Ian Curtis was not there from the beggining it wouldn't have made a huge difference to Joy Division's sound.
Yes, but if Ian Curtis was not there from the beggining it wouldn't have made a huge difference to Joy Division's sound.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm not even saying that. When did that come up? Never. I was talking about Curtis dying and then the band becoming New Order.
I'm not even saying that. When did that come up? Never. I was talking about Curtis dying and then the band becoming New Order.
fictions
+0 -0
"Ian Curtis WAS the band." I was going on that.
"Ian Curtis WAS the band." I was going on that.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well I was meaning that, after he died they formed New Order, and I don't like New Order's style so in my mind Ian Curtis is what made Joy Division Joy Division.
Well I was meaning that, after he died they formed New Order, and I don't like New Order's style so in my mind Ian Curtis is what made Joy Division Joy Division.
fictions
+0 -0
I feel now that you and I have come to the end of our journey.
I feel now that you and I have come to the end of our journey.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It was a good run though. I understand where you are coming from though, I just think it was a matter of syntax.
It was a good run though. I understand where you are coming from though, I just think it was a matter of syntax.
fictions
+0 -0
Syntax and semantics are the bane of my existence man.
Syntax and semantics are the bane of my existence man.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Just straight up fucking your shit up, amirite?
Just straight up fucking your shit up, amirite?
fictions
+0 -0
Absolutely it fucks shit up. Half way through an English essay and all of a sudden I'm hit with shitty semantics and poor syntax. Have to start all over again man. Its no good.
Absolutely it fucks shit up. Half way through an English essay and all of a sudden I'm hit with shitty semantics and poor syntax. Have to start all over again man. Its no good.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I know the feeling.
I know the feeling.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NEVER write papers at 2 in the morning on Post Modernism and you've been sick with a cold and you have a final the next morning.
NEVER write papers at 2 in the morning on Post Modernism and you've been sick with a cold and you have a final the next morning.
fictions
+0 -0
I have done this at two am. I wrote, eventually, that Jacques Derrida is an obnoxious piece of shit who has never written anything of any worth. It was like I had relieved myself seven fold.
I have done this at two am. I wrote, eventually, that Jacques Derrida is an obnoxious piece of shit who has never written anything of any worth. It was like I had relieved myself seven fold.
stereo
+0 -0
I didn't realize you could screw up a Post Modern paper.
I didn't realize you could screw up a Post Modern paper.
fictions
+0 -0
I didn't screw it up. It was an excellent essay.
I didn't screw it up. It was an excellent essay.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well I got a B overall in the class.
Well I got a B overall in the class.
rowboat
+0 -0
I didn't read most of this, but it's apparent straight away that your ideas on New Order are crazy, gh.
That's right - I hate you for not liking them.
I didn't read most of this, but it's apparent straight away that your ideas on New Order are crazy, gh.
That's right - I hate you for not liking them.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh well.
Oh well.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Is your "existence man" your soul?
Is your "existence man" your soul?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I like New Order better. Joy Division has some great songs but at least half of their stuff just sounds muddy and bland to me.
I like New Order better. Joy Division has some great songs but at least half of their stuff just sounds muddy and bland to me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You know, I agree with the muddy and bland part. Curtis' vocals are really weird and turned me off to the music for a while.
But I love them now.
You know, I agree with the muddy and bland part. Curtis' vocals are really weird and turned me off to the music for a while.
But I love them now.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
Views: 44444
Views: 44444
dusty
+0 -0
I don't have depression, but it seems like everyone I know does and that's kinda depressing.
I don't have depression, but it seems like everyone I know does and that's kinda depressing.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Pretty accurate description of depression.
Pretty accurate description of depression.
paul9
+0 -0
Onstad's still got It.
(had he ever lost It?)
Onstad's still got It.
(had he ever lost It?)
geekthras
+2 -0
For a moment there I thought Roast Beef and Molly were screaming because of their existential thoughts on the subject of the material known as felt.
For a moment there I thought Roast Beef and Molly were screaming because of their existential thoughts on the subject of the material known as felt.
psaturn
+0 -0
What's Seka?
What's Seka?
zeal
+0 -0
Of late I have realized how similar the pattern of my thoughts and feelings is to Roast Beef's. I am unsure how to take this realization.
Of late I have realized how similar the pattern of my thoughts and feelings is to Roast Beef's. I am unsure how to take this realization.
wfl
+0 -0
Anybody else notice that black in the latest comics look more like a CMYK key black, rather than a rich/RGB black?
Anybody else notice that black in the latest comics look more like a CMYK key black, rather than a rich/RGB black?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yes I have.
Yes I have.
sje46
+0 -0
I thought I was the only one!
I thought I was the only one!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
sometimes i rate comics according to how they make me feel.
this one makes me feel real bad and low.
it is a one. :(
sometimes i rate comics according to how they make me feel.
this one makes me feel real bad and low.
it is a one. :(
desert_donkey
+0 -1
it's just a [FUCKING] cartoon [!!!].
it's just a [FUCKING] cartoon [!!!].
puguglypress
+0 -0
Onstad is back!!!
Onstad is back!!!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
where is he?
where is he?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*points*
there!
*points*
there!
sje46
+2 -0
Let's eat him.
Let's eat him.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Assetbar Philippe stone cold outta left field with this one.
chubbisimo!
Assetbar Philippe stone cold outta left field with this one.
chubbisimo!
irondave
+0 -0
We made you all some gingerbread cookies:
[IMGS OFF]
Let's all try to have a nice holiday and get along, shall we?
We made you all some gingerbread cookies:
[IMGS OFF]
Let's all try to have a nice holiday and get along, shall we?
biff
+0 -0
Which cookie is me?
Which cookie is me?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Isn't it obvious?
Isn't it obvious?
biff
+2 -0
The one with the brown head?
The one with the brown head?
xi
+0 -0
Why do only the white ones have faces? What are you trying to say?
Why do only the white ones have faces? What are you trying to say?
irondave
+0 -0
I, uh, I guess I'll have to ask my 12-year-old and get back to you on that.
I, uh, I guess I'll have to ask my 12-year-old and get back to you on that.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
IronDave teaches his children racist values, pass it on!
IronDave teaches his children racist values, pass it on!
singtralala
+0 -0
i'm just gonna go all emoticon on this one :(
i'm just gonna go all emoticon on this one :(
phoenixultima
+0 -0
What Beef fails to realize is that everyone else in the Burger King is ALSO making a terrible eating decision, and so they either don't realize it, or really don't care. This is why it's possible to order a Big Mac without immediately dying of shame.
What Beef fails to realize is that everyone else in the Burger King is ALSO making a terrible eating decision, and so they either don't realize it, or really don't care. This is why it's possible to order a Big Mac without immediately dying of shame.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Although you should.
Although you should.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
That is exactly my thought process every time I go into Burger King (or any other such place), but then I start to worry that there will be an attractive girl behind the counter, who is only working there to put herself through university, and that she will take my order for two XL bacon double cheeseburgers, no fries or drink, with more pity than contempt.
That is exactly my thought process every time I go into Burger King (or any other such place), but then I start to worry that there will be an attractive girl behind the counter, who is only working there to put herself through university, and that she will take my order for two XL bacon double cheeseburgers, no fries or drink, with more pity than contempt.
sje46
+0 -0
One could argue that pity is better than contempt. I mean, at least she might hug you.
One could argue that pity is better than contempt. I mean, at least she might hug you.
rowboat
+0 -0
You would not want a girl who worked at Burger King hugging you. Unless you really love the smell, I guess.
You would not want a girl who worked at Burger King hugging you. Unless you really love the smell, I guess.
sje46
+0 -0
Some people do.
https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28284679/
Some people do.
https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28284679/
rowboat
+0 -0
I was more referring to the greasy meatwater on the floors and that kind of thing, but that is pretty damn surreal.
I was more referring to the greasy meatwater on the floors and that kind of thing, but that is pretty damn surreal.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I used to feel the same way with strippers (the young college students - not the pros). Contempt and/or pity notwithstanding; I enjoyed what they were serving.
I used to feel the same way with strippers (the young college students - not the pros). Contempt and/or pity notwithstanding; I enjoyed what they were serving.
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
I have just released version 0.7 of [url="https://www.brianp.net/achewood/assetbarista.html"]Assetbarista[/url], my Greasemonkey script that enhances the Assetbar user interface under Firefox.
New in this release:
1. Assetbarista now runs approximately 50% faster.
2. The previous-comment links now work properly when the parent comment has been ignored.
I have just released version 0.7 of [url="https://www.brianp.net/achewood/assetbarista.html"]Assetbarista[/url], my Greasemonkey script that enhances the Assetbar user interface under Firefox.
New in this release:
1. Assetbarista now runs approximately 50% faster.
2. The previous-comment links now work properly when the parent comment has been ignored.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Note to self: figure out how to add a WYSIWYG BBcode editor into Assetbarista .
Note to self: figure out how to add a WYSIWYG BBcode editor into Assetbarista .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i am now armed with assetbarista.
awesome!
i am now armed with assetbarista.
awesome!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i think it broke firefox's search typing!
not awesome!
i think it broke firefox's search typing!
not awesome!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Works for me, maybe you are just stupid?
Works for me, maybe you are just stupid?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it fixed itself!
rad!
it fixed itself!
rad!
sje46
+0 -0
This doesn't update automatically, right?
This doesn't update automatically, right?
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Right, you have to go the Assetbarista page and click on the 0.7 download link to upgrade it.
Right, you have to go the Assetbarista page and click on the 0.7 download link to upgrade it.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Continuity error:
How does he not know what his last memory will be: he has already died (and already had last memories) a few times.
Continuity error:
How does he not know what his last memory will be: he has already died (and already had last memories) a few times.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
when you die for the last time, i guess.
when you die for the last time, i guess.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
To be charitable -- I guess the point is not the actual fact of what his last memory will be, but that he presently thinks he will never escape the shame of his childhood (how depressing).
To be charitable -- I guess the point is not the actual fact of what his last memory will be, but that he presently thinks he will never escape the shame of his childhood (how depressing).
pogo
+0 -0
I just wanted to see my avataricon near Groucho.
I just wanted to see my avataricon near Groucho.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He got a mulligan from Rod Serling. You'd know that if your browser supported invisible alt-text.
He got a mulligan from Rod Serling. You'd know that if your browser supported invisible alt-text.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
More Childe Beef ( "Rusty") this afternoon! Wheee!
More Childe Beef ( "Rusty") this afternoon! Wheee!
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Fucking Assetbar: ( plus "Rusty")
Fucking Assetbar: ( plus "Rusty")
zapatos
+0 -0
Fuckin' Assetbar
Got Me This Van
Fuckin' Assetbar
Got Me This Van
fallow_fields
+0 -0
this comic has affected me. I want to smoke that cigarette butt in the gutter in 1989
this comic has affected me. I want to smoke that cigarette butt in the gutter in 1989
mollymoon88
+0 -0
Huh?
Huh?
lolsworth
+0 -0
I must remember "If I did I'd be bluffing" for the next time I am literally paralysed with despair.
I must remember "If I did I'd be bluffing" for the next time I am literally paralysed with despair.
tragicone
+0 -0
is that 1989?
If so, hehe, that was my first ding-dang christmas
is that 1989?
If so, hehe, that was my first ding-dang christmas
boheeka
+0 -0
Jesus Christ ...
this describes my life almost perfectly. The Only Difference is that I don't eat inside of fast food restaurants so I worry about being judged by whoever's manning the drive thru window and I get stage fright ordering.
Jesus Christ ...
this describes my life almost perfectly. The Only Difference is that I don't eat inside of fast food restaurants so I worry about being judged by whoever's manning the drive thru window and I get stage fright ordering.
aw geez now I have depression.
A comment left by freerhi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by re5urgam, goocifer, atticusonline, ConnorMc, usversusthem, Mirzabah)
The second i read the phrase "staddy-daddy", vomit came out of my EYES .
is that what asherdan calls onstad in bed?
ba-dum tish!
Yes, I'd imagine so.
After that last panel, who wouldn't? It's like the polar opposite of this strip .
Can something retroactively cause you to have a bad childhood?
*broods*
It's only the polar opposite if you ignore the alt text, which reveals Beef is lying.
My first reading of your post was to see the italicized "I" as a slash, so it was like a stunted Haiku.
aw geez now
have depression
Also, can't count.