higuma
+1 -1
what is the sack of onions for
what is the sack of onions for
oldhusky
+18 -0
it is for winning
it is for winning
actualtaunt
+0 -0
I can dig the onions.
I can dig the onions.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
I can dig your avicon (assuming it's from Metropolis?)
I can dig your avicon (assuming it's from Metropolis?)
stereo
+2 -0
Even in the 20s, they knew that robot chicks would be freaky hot.
Even in the 20s, they knew that robot chicks would be freaky hot.
shelbydavis
+6 -0
In science fiction, is perhaps most basic concept.
In science fiction, is perhaps most basic concept.
zapatos
+0 -0
Thank you NetFlix
Thank you NetFlix
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
word to your mnom. thats going in my qway.
word to your mnom. thats going in my qway.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
**mom
**mom
soup_alex
+2 -0
om mnom mnom
om mnom mnom
gunsofray
+0 -0
om mnom mnom mnom on my mom, Tom!
om mnom mnom mnom on my mom, Tom!
gunsofray
+0 -0
Or Alex.
Or Alex.
farqussus
+0 -0
you thought no-one would get that reference didn't you
you thought no-one would get that reference didn't you
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
typo?
reference?
which one was it?!
the suspense is killing me!
typo?
reference?
which one was it?!
the suspense is killing me!
soup_alex
+0 -0
om mnom... Mnomquah?
om mnom... Mnomquah?
usversusthem
+0 -0
Good. Once you've dug them up, let me know and I'll send you a tape of something to play them.
Good. Once you've dug them up, let me know and I'll send you a tape of something to play them.
deus
+0 -0
You mean...dig them down the dirt or that they are pretty cool guise?
You mean...dig them down the dirt or that they are pretty cool guise?
drewvreeland
+0 -0
chubby for the pbf avitar
chubby for the pbf avitar
drewvreeland
+0 -0
hell of relevant
hell of relevant
hatstand_mcq
+21 -0
They are there to listen Tony Robins. Unfortunately, Ray forgot that onions can only extract information from the spoken word while their roots rest in the dark earth. Those onions aren't listening. They are screaming.
They are there to listen Tony Robins. Unfortunately, Ray forgot that onions can only extract information from the spoken word while their roots rest in the dark earth. Those onions aren't listening. They are screaming.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Like in Harry Potter!
Like in Harry Potter!
hatstand_mcq
+19 -1
Harry Potter and the Onions Which Wouldn't Listen.
Harry Potter and the Onions Which Wouldn't Listen.
mockereo
+6 -0
it is after the seventh book when he finishes his training to be an Auror but then since voldemort is gone there is no need for him.
He is now a prep cook.
it is after the seventh book when he finishes his training to be an Auror but then since voldemort is gone there is no need for him.
He is now a prep cook.
invidious
+6 -0
Severous Snape has been replaced by Gordon Ramsey.
Severous Snape has been replaced by Gordon Ramsey.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Gandalf died but came back as Dumbledore's hand.
Gandalf died but came back as Dumbledore's hand.
gormster
+1 -0
And after Hitler died, everybody lived in peace for the rest of time!
And after Hitler died, everybody lived in peace for the rest of time!
dusty
+0 -0
we don't seriously debate things here, and we're certainly not starting with a serious debate about the sociopolitical climate in the Harry Potter world. Mockereo's statement stands as a basis for absurdity. Continue.
we don't seriously debate things here, and we're certainly not starting with a serious debate about the sociopolitical climate in the Harry Potter world. Mockereo's statement stands as a basis for absurdity. Continue.
granularsilica
+0 -0
[quote]And after Hitler died, everybody lived in peace for the rest of time![/i]
At least in Europe, so far.
[quote]And after Hitler died, everybody lived in peace for the rest of time![/i]
At least in Europe, so far.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
The Bosniaks might beg to differ.
The Bosniaks might beg to differ.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well Canada's doing alright, yeah?
Well Canada's doing alright, yeah?
mockereo
+1 -0
nobody really realizes but we're at war in Afghanistan.
nobody really realizes but we're at war in Afghanistan.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
speak for yourself.
speak for yourself.
wazza
+3 -0
We've always been at war with (a small country in) Eastasia.
We've always been at war with (a small country in) Eastasia.
gunsofray
+0 -0
Next target: that place where people look and talk different.
Canada.
Next target: that place where people look and talk different.
Canada.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
In my opinion America and Canada are, for all intents and purposes and disregarding obvious cultural differences, very very similar with more similarities than differences. This is from having met a few Canadians from various places (BC, Nova Scotia, Toronto, Ottawa, among some other places). Canadians can yell at me starting now.
In my opinion America and Canada are, for all intents and purposes and disregarding obvious cultural differences, very very similar with more similarities than differences. This is from having met a few Canadians from various places (BC, Nova Scotia, Toronto, Ottawa, among some other places). Canadians can yell at me starting now.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Mon dieu! You forget about the French-speaking Quebec! Very obvious cultural difference there.
Mon dieu! You forget about the French-speaking Quebec! Very obvious cultural difference there.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Ottawa is basically part of Quebec.
Ottawa is basically part of Quebec.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Is it though? They wear Blue-Jeans and listen to Rock And Rolls.
Is it though? They wear Blue-Jeans and listen to Rock And Rolls.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
word
word
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ugh, Afghanistan ruins everything.
Ugh, Afghanistan ruins everything.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
fuck YOU , afghamistam.
fuck YOU , afghamistam.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Quote:
Ah yes, the Balkans. Have they ever been still? Sorry to have slighted the Southern Slavs, I was more thinking of France, Germany and Russia.
Quote:
The Bosniaks might beg to differ.
Ah yes, the Balkans. Have they ever been still? Sorry to have slighted the Southern Slavs, I was more thinking of France, Germany and Russia.
veerex
+1 -0
You know Russia dogs on Georgia like all day, right? France is kinda its own worst enemy, its never been able to get its shit together to start something since old times.
Its mostly just Germany has been very quite after it had a temper tantrum, embarrassed itself, then had a suicide in the family.
You know Russia dogs on Georgia like all day, right? France is kinda its own worst enemy, its never been able to get its shit together to start something since old times.
Its mostly just Germany has been very quite after it had a temper tantrum, embarrassed itself, then had a suicide in the family.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
But as penance they must never be patriotic or think their country is good at anything. "Oh ja you know the school system in Germany is so underfunded, you know, and the students are all so blah blah blah complain whine bitch moan we can't like our country because that's Nazism." I paraphrase.
But as penance they must never be patriotic or think their country is good at anything. "Oh ja you know the school system in Germany is so underfunded, you know, and the students are all so blah blah blah complain whine bitch moan we can't like our country because that's Nazism." I paraphrase.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Top exporter in Eurozone should be enough the be proud of.
Top exporter in Eurozone should be enough the be proud of.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I've never met a German that hasn't qualified anything positive they say about Germany with something negative. And that's like seven Germans.
I've never met a German that hasn't qualified anything positive they say about Germany with something negative. And that's like seven Germans.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Oh man, I meant like World Wars, or really big empires clashing, or Napoleonic mass attacks. Everybody's got a province that needs a whupping now and then, pesky Chechnyans!
Oh man, I meant like World Wars, or really big empires clashing, or Napoleonic mass attacks. Everybody's got a province that needs a whupping now and then, pesky Chechnyans!
mrchuckletrouzd
+0 -0
The Magyarok are actually in quite a bind.
The Magyarok are actually in quite a bind.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Are they "hungary"?
Are they "hungary"?
soup_alex
+0 -0
*TISH*
granularsilica did you say that you would be here all night.
*TISH*
granularsilica did you say that you would be here all night.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I heard he would be here all weekend! Wow!
I heard he would be here all weekend! Wow!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
He loves the city he's in and its inhabitants.
He loves the city he's in and its inhabitants.
granularsilica
+0 -0
One show tonight, private! (I'm at a resort with my better half.)
One show tonight, private! (I'm at a resort with my better half.)
missbee
+9 -0
I have no mouth and I must scream.
I have no mouth and I must scream.
wazza
+2 -0
Introducing the new iScream!
Introducing the new iScream!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
How many flavors?
How many flavors?
shelbydavis
+3 -0
None. Mr. Ellison has sued and the product has been recalled.
None. Mr. Ellison has sued and the product has been recalled.
deusoma
+4 -0
The End. No Moral.
The End. No Moral.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You know he's a lititgious little fuck ( another true anecdote).
Years ago on usenet people were posting scanned ebooks of his stories and the guy heard about it; was all kinds of red-assed ready to sue them for loss of income- all 3 paying readers.
Had his barrister in on it, whole 9 yards.
Now you can say
The End No Moral , Dr. House
You know he's a lititgious little fuck ( another true anecdote).
Years ago on usenet people were posting scanned ebooks of his stories and the guy heard about it; was all kinds of red-assed ready to sue them for loss of income- all 3 paying readers.
Had his barrister in on it, whole 9 yards.
Now you can say
The End No Moral , Dr. House
daedala_x
+4 -0
he also sued CBS for the revision and misinterpretation of his script for the Star Trek episode "The City on the Edge of Forever" which was in the original series but he didn't sue until like 2009.
Harlan Ellison is a man who keeps a list of people and things he dislikes. that list is then subdivided into "angry but will not sue", "might sue", "sue immediately" and "bag of goddamn onions".
he also sued CBS for the revision and misinterpretation of his script for the Star Trek episode "The City on the Edge of Forever" which was in the original series but he didn't sue until like 2009.
Harlan Ellison is a man who keeps a list of people and things he dislikes. that list is then subdivided into "angry but will not sue", "might sue", "sue immediately" and "bag of goddamn onions".
deus
+0 -0
You forgot the "intelligence of an artichoke" category.
You forgot the "intelligence of an artichoke" category.
daedala_x
+15 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
snort!
made me laugh. would chub again.
Quote:
snort!
made me laugh. would chub again.
Quote:
Ellison attended Ohio State University for 18 months (1951-53) before being expelled. He has said that the expulsion was a result of his hitting a professor who had denigrated his writing ability, and that over the next forty-odd years he had sent that professor a copy of every story he published.[3]
Moving to Chicago, Ellison wrote for William Hamling's Rogue magazine. As a book editor at Hamling's Regency Books, he published novels and anthologies by such writers as B. Traven, Kurt Vonnegut, Robert Bloch and Philip José Farmer and Harlan Ellison..
[...]
In 1976, Ellison married his fourth wife, Lori Horowitz. They later divorced.
Moving to Chicago, Ellison wrote for William Hamling's Rogue magazine. As a book editor at Hamling's Regency Books, he published novels and anthologies by such writers as B. Traven, Kurt Vonnegut, Robert Bloch and Philip José Farmer and Harlan Ellison..
[...]
In 1976, Ellison married his fourth wife, Lori Horowitz. They later divorced.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
he sounds like a dude that ladies would not want to spend much time with.
he sounds like a dude that ladies would not want to spend much time with.
shelbydavis
+5 -0
He gets with women but in the end they do not like him!
He gets with women but in the end they do not like him!
granularsilica
+0 -0
Story of my friggin' life!
Story of my friggin' life!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
two out of three aint bad.
please someone get that lame joke. please! my ego cant take any more deflation........
two out of three aint bad.
please someone get that lame joke. please! my ego cant take any more deflation........
firedmyass
+0 -0
He is complex and unpredictable. And also crap-back crazy.
He is complex and unpredictable. And also crap-back crazy.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Is it a game about fucking hard or a fucking hard game?
Is it a game about fucking hard or a fucking hard game?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
for some people a victory in both is an equally challenging task.
for some people a victory in both is an equally challenging task.
deus
+0 -0
HAHAHA! Oh god that guy is a douche!
I like his books though....so its kinda like Hamsun....sorta...
HAHAHA! Oh god that guy is a douche!
I like his books though....so its kinda like Hamsun....sorta...
deus
+0 -0
NO! I'm not comparing Harlan Ellisons writing with Hamsun's.
I like his sci-fi but come on!
Who won the nobel peace prize.....then sent it to Hitler....
You see where the Harlan Ellison comparison comes in?!
NO! I'm not comparing Harlan Ellisons writing with Hamsun's.
I like his sci-fi but come on!
Who won the nobel peace prize.....then sent it to Hitler....
You see where the Harlan Ellison comparison comes in?!
wazza
+0 -0
the prize for literature, not the peace prize. And he mailed it to Goebbels, not Hitler.
the prize for literature, not the peace prize. And he mailed it to Goebbels, not Hitler.
wazza
+1 -0
I had never heard of him before wikipedia
I had never heard of him before wikipedia
deus
+0 -0
sorry...i suck...TIRED TIRED! Im sorry im TIRED!
sorry...i suck...TIRED TIRED! Im sorry im TIRED!
cproseedcakeksc
+1 -0
Just to clarify for the curious: it was Knut Hamsun who mailed his Nobel prize to Goebbels. Harlan Ellison is not a Nazi, nor has he won a Nobel prize. He does however have NINE subsections under "Controversies" on his Wikipedia page.
Just to clarify for the curious: it was Knut Hamsun who mailed his Nobel prize to Goebbels. Harlan Ellison is not a Nazi, nor has he won a Nobel prize. He does however have NINE subsections under "Controversies" on his Wikipedia page.
deus
+0 -0
HAHAHA!!!
HAHAHA!!!
deus
+0 -0
No really!
I love you.
No really!
I love you.
deus
+1 -0
Thing is Harlan is a sci-fi Pat....but still he still have some Fuck you Friday dickiness moments...
Fuck it he's my hero.
Thing is Harlan is a sci-fi Pat....but still he still have some Fuck you Friday dickiness moments...
Fuck it he's my hero.
invidious
+1 -0
Much like a volcano, he's wildly entertaining to watch from a safe distance. Besides, if there's one thing history has proven it's that severe personality defects are in no way an impediment to being a great writer.
Ellison survives on his sci-fi rep, but much of his non-sci-fi stuff is brilliant, also. "Neither your Jenny Nor Mine" very well might be the greatest short story of all time.
Much like a volcano, he's wildly entertaining to watch from a safe distance. Besides, if there's one thing history has proven it's that severe personality defects are in no way an impediment to being a great writer.
Ellison survives on his sci-fi rep, but much of his non-sci-fi stuff is brilliant, also. "Neither your Jenny Nor Mine" very well might be the greatest short story of all time.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
What about 'My Jenny is Your Jenny'?
What about 'My Jenny is Your Jenny'?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Doublechubbied.
By Calvin Klein.
Doublechubbied.
By Calvin Klein.
vermy
+1 -0
Later counterfeited as:
Chobbyduce
by Young Men in China.
Later counterfeited as:
Chobbyduce
by Young Men in China.
deus
+0 -0
The question is; what does the onions want in life!?
The question is; what does the onions want in life!?
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
They...want to be potatoes?
They...want to be potatoes?
deus
+0 -0
THEN THEN NEED TO COPY THE POTATOES!!!!
THEN THEN NEED TO COPY THE POTATOES!!!!
firedmyass
+0 -0
Potatoes are useful, but they just a damn substrate. Onions are flavor .
Potatoes are useful, but they just a damn substrate. Onions are flavor .
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Not to have their nuts shot off with a sawn-off shotgun?
Not to have their nuts shot off with a sawn-off shotgun?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
we all(who have nuts in the first place) want that.
we all(who have nuts in the first place) want that.
evilsteve
+1 -1
First Ray has the onions, then he gives Philippe the onions so as to transfer possession of the onions. In this case no one named Lester has the onions.
First Ray has the onions, then he gives Philippe the onions so as to transfer possession of the onions. In this case no one named Lester has the onions.
tekende
+0 -0
That was a stretch even Stretch Armstrong would have difficulty making.
That was a stretch even Stretch Armstrong would have difficulty making.
allenphreak
+2 -0
Ah man, and his arms stretch out to next week!
Ah man, and his arms stretch out to next week!
scorpio_nadir
+6 -0
Philippe has a wicked sackof onions
Philippe has a wicked sack
headphones
+0 -0
'a onions
'a onions
fermatprime
+1 -0
They're there to tie to your belt, which was the style in my day!
They're there to tie to your belt, which was the style in my day!
jaypage
+0 -0
i'd assume they've got the glasses and necklace in them.
i'd assume they've got the glasses and necklace in them.
overman
+0 -0
Ray monitored the other veggies himself, but Onions man....everyone knows you outsource that shit.
Ray monitored the other veggies himself, but Onions man....everyone knows you outsource that shit.
cracklewater
+1 -0
I'm ashamed to say it took me a week to work out that Ray was not trying to improve Phillipe with the Robbins tape, he just wanted the otter to monitor the onions while they absorbed postive ideas.
I know the Whole Foods $7 potato story is still going on, but at first it simply didn't click.
Perhaps that's why this has been the current strip for 10 days - to make sure thickos like me got it...
WHOOPSY-DAISY! SORRY, EVERYBODY!
I'm ashamed to say it took me a week to work out that Ray was not trying to improve Phillipe with the Robbins tape, he just wanted the otter to monitor the onions while they absorbed postive ideas.
I know the Whole Foods $7 potato story is still going on, but at first it simply didn't click.
Perhaps that's why this has been the current strip for 10 days - to make sure thickos like me got it...
WHOOPSY-DAISY! SORRY, EVERYBODY!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
you are awarded one forgiveness chubby.
you are awarded one forgiveness chubby.
mattylite
+1 -0
I too took like six viewings to get it. I was just too ashamed to admit it until you emboldened me. Now I wanna admit everything, like how I used to think there was a word "shiek" that meant cool, and also a word "chic" (pronounced like 'chick') that also meant cool, and for some reason I'd hear people say shiek, but never see it written, and I'd read the word chic, but never hear it spoken.
I too took like six viewings to get it. I was just too ashamed to admit it until you emboldened me. Now I wanna admit everything, like how I used to think there was a word "shiek" that meant cool, and also a word "chic" (pronounced like 'chick') that also meant cool, and for some reason I'd hear people say shiek, but never see it written, and I'd read the word chic, but never hear it spoken.
onegoodmonkey
+1 -0
Those onions are gonna be really good though
Those onions are gonna be really good though
puguglypress
+9 -0
Phillippe looks like a Christian rapper... from the future.
Phillippe looks like a Christian rapper... from the future.
actualtaunt
+3 -0
I pity the fool who dares to cross a Christian rapper.
I pity the fool who dares to cross a Christian rapper.
lordparadise
+1 -0
Depending on your interpretation of the Bible, that cross might have exactly the same effect as the Medallion of King Chochacho. Then again, it might also have something closer to a Volvo of Despair effect.
Depending on your interpretation of the Bible, that cross might have exactly the same effect as the Medallion of King Chochacho. Then again, it might also have something closer to a Volvo of Despair effect.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Looks alright.
Looks alright.
daidai
+0 -0
jeffspaulding that looks like something I would photoshop.
I kind of expect better from you.
jeffspaulding that looks like something I would photoshop.
I kind of expect better from you.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You'll have to subscribe to jeffspauldingshopsthebar.com Subscriber Content for the better stuff..... dai dai.
You'll have to subscribe to jeffspauldingshopsthebar.com Subscriber Content for the better stuff..... dai dai.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Fair complaint. I wasn't happy with it either, but I was actually trying to do work at work.
Also, I don't have photoshop. I have only ever used the MS Paint that comes with XP.
[ insert Luddite joke here ]
Fair complaint. I wasn't happy with it either, but I was actually trying to do work at work.
Also, I don't have photoshop. I have only ever used the MS Paint that comes with XP.
[ insert Luddite joke here ]
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Also, if it was done well, you'd see that he has the Volvo symbol around his neck (which approximates the necklaces that guidos wore in the 70's).
[IMGS OFF]
Also, if it was done well, you'd see that he has the Volvo symbol around his neck (which approximates the necklaces that guidos wore in the 70's).
[IMGS OFF]
mensch
+2 -0
Mars, banger of whores.
Mars, banger of whores.
soup_alex
+0 -0
I am apparently too friendly, but I just want everybody to know that this comment has my chubby.
I am apparently too friendly, but I just want everybody to know that this comment has my chubby.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
And my axe.
And my axe.
puguglypress
+0 -0
And my press!
And my press!
actualtaunt
+0 -0
What news from the North?!
What news from the North?!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Just commenting on your avicon--it's amazing, number one, but number two, is that the woman from Metropolis after she's been replaced with the skank-bot? She looks pri-tay devilish there.
Just commenting on your avicon--it's amazing, number one, but number two, is that the woman from Metropolis after she's been replaced with the skank-bot? She looks pri-tay devilish there.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Skank-bots!
Skank-bots!
zapatos
+0 -0
Yes please, I'll take two!
Yes please, I'll take two!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
They are not as neat as one would think. Lubrication is a huge issue
They are not as neat as one would think. Lubrication is a huge issue
wazza
+0 -0
you mean you don't engage in all your sexual activities in a giant vat of motor oil?
you mean you don't engage in all your sexual activities in a giant vat of motor oil?
mockereo
+0 -0
realistically, no.
realistically, no.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
melted butter.
melted butter.
daedala_x
+0 -0
not in Heavy Metal 2000 it's not.
not in Heavy Metal 2000 it's not.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You damn kids and your remakes of friggin classics! The original was one of the greatest things ever. To say nothing of the comics (an early source of pornography for a growing bot). Also, at least half of the bands on the 200 version's album are terrible, and I have no idea how they got Bauhaus on there. Damn kids.
You damn kids and your remakes of friggin classics! The original was one of the greatest things ever. To say nothing of the comics (an early source of pornography for a growing bot). Also, at least half of the bands on the 200 version's album are terrible, and I have no idea how they got Bauhaus on there. Damn kids.
granularsilica
+1 -0
You kids, get off my lawn!
You kids, get off my lawn!
gormster
+0 -0
puguglypress you are the first person to come off my ignore list ever.
puguglypress you are the first person to come off my ignore list ever.
puguglypress
+0 -0
yeah im pretty cool
yeah im pretty cool
rowboat
+0 -0
So you read through your ignored comments? Weird.
So you read through your ignored comments? Weird.
puguglypress
+0 -0
It might have been a context thing, like he saw someone replying to my comment and the reply made him curious about the original comment.
It might have been a context thing, like he saw someone replying to my comment and the reply made him curious about the original comment.
actualtaunt
+21 -0
HERE COMES A SPECIAL ENTREPRENEUR!
HERE COMES A SPECIAL ENTREPRENEUR!
deus
+0 -0
Right, okay.
Right, okay.
salvar
+1 -0
Props for the Orgone reference. Now sneak in some Radium Water and we've got a deal.
Props for the Orgone reference. Now sneak in some Radium Water and we've got a deal.
onegoodmonkey
+1 -0
Onions are best if you pee on the plant while it's growing AND talk to it
Onions are best if you pee on the plant while it's growing AND talk to it
smallblackdog
+0 -0
but.. what is the correct etiquette for such conversations? Cornelius would know.
but.. what is the correct etiquette for such conversations? Cornelius would know.
i_love_kate
+5 -0
So, would you like a drink? I should have offered you something to drink.
So, would you like a drink? I should have offered you something to drink.
magreaux_dogg
+1 -0
I wonder if my mom knows.
I wonder if my mom knows.
freewilliam
+0 -0
"Are you a dirty little onion?"
"Are you a dirty little onion?"
hedonismbot
+0 -0
My onions' favorite music is scat.
My onions' favorite music is scat.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[giggle]] thats a musical style named after poop......
[[giggle]] thats a musical style named after poop......
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Hedonismbot is clearly a man who knows his onions
Hedonismbot is clearly a man who knows his onions
smallblackdog
+0 -0
It's even better if you don't urinate on your shoes while talking to the plant - avoid expectorations.
It's even better if you don't urinate on your shoes while talking to the plant - avoid expectorations.
dougthehead
+9 -0
Philippe's idea of a successful greeting is to offer money in a voice filled with music and love. Which isn't a bad idea, actually.
Philippe's idea of a successful greeting is to offer money in a voice filled with music and love. Which isn't a bad idea, actually.
quinlaenar
+1 -0
I thought that Philippe was saying he wanted to get money, like if Ray hadn't interrupted, the next line would have been "It's ME!" But that's awesome, too.
I thought that Philippe was saying he wanted to get money, like if Ray hadn't interrupted, the next line would have been "It's ME!" But that's awesome, too.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Do I smell a check for six dollars on its way?
Do I smell a check for six dollars on its way?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
What? No. That's the sack of onions you smell.
What? No. That's the sack of onions you smell.
expellens
+5 -0
I'm waiting for the camera to pull back and reveal Phillipes' tite new thong . You know he's rocking the Speedo right about now.
I'm waiting for the camera to pull back and reveal Phillipes' tite new thong . You know he's rocking the Speedo right about now.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
AAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAH
actualtaunt
+0 -0
Is that "AAAAAAAAAH I'M SCARED AND CONFUSED," "AAAAAAAAAAH I'M LOUD AND YOU'RE ADORABLE,"
or "AAAAAAAAAAAH THIS WAS SOOOO REFRESHING"?
(by the way, on a personal note, I've been out. Glad to see you nice-on-water. I plan on chubbying witty things you say. It's been a long time, ol' pun pal)
Is that "AAAAAAAAAH I'M SCARED AND CONFUSED," "AAAAAAAAAAH I'M LOUD AND YOU'RE ADORABLE,"
or "AAAAAAAAAAAH THIS WAS SOOOO REFRESHING"?
(by the way, on a personal note, I've been out. Glad to see you nice-on-water. I plan on chubbying witty things you say. It's been a long time, ol' pun pal)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:D
I look forward to punny chubs.
But yeah, that was a AAAAAH I'M SCARED AND CONFUSED kind of, because young folks don't need genitalia enhancing or at least prominencing clothing for some time. This is something I have a real issue with. Ten year olds' boxers or training bra straps showing...no. This is not a good thing ever.
:D
I look forward to punny chubs.
But yeah, that was a AAAAAH I'M SCARED AND CONFUSED kind of, because young folks don't need genitalia enhancing or at least prominencing clothing for some time. This is something I have a real issue with. Ten year olds' boxers or training bra straps showing...no. This is not a good thing ever.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
In troth, I hate even more than 10-year-old-bra is the section in Wal*mart where there are many bras that, were in not for their prodigious size, would be children's clothing (little cute flowers, smiley faces &c)
I look, and I think "Are these bras for large women who never grew up, or has the nation's tween become a gluttonous mass of DD flowerpower? "
In troth, I hate even more than 10-year-old-bra is the section in Wal*mart where there are many bras that, were in not for their prodigious size, would be children's clothing (little cute flowers, smiley faces &c)
I look, and I think "Are these bras for large women who never grew up, or has the nation's tween become a gluttonous mass of DD flowerpower? "
pmbarrett
+0 -0
maybe you guys should get a room.
maybe you guys should get a room.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
Hello vomit my old friend
Hello vomit my old friend
shelbydavis
+6 -0
I've found the lingerie again
Because a vision somewhat shocking
Left its seeds while I was shopping
And the vision
Of the children in my brain
Still remains
Of training bras... and DD sizes.
I've found the lingerie again
Because a vision somewhat shocking
Left its seeds while I was shopping
And the vision
Of the children in my brain
Still remains
Of training bras... and DD sizes.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
In restless anxiety I shop aloooone...etc
In restless anxiety I shop aloooone...etc
goddamnstain
+5 -0
I'm really glad Chris Onstad put this comic up.
I'm really glad Chris Onstad put this comic up.
lordparadise
+1 -0
At this point I don't think anyone will complain about the storyarcishness of this. Assuming this will make a full transition into a comic about Philippe trying to be Ray, this is just the sort of old-school simple premise that made the original story arcs so wonderful. Compare: Beef, Metrosexual; Anarchist's Cookbook.
At this point I don't think anyone will complain about the storyarcishness of this. Assuming this will make a full transition into a comic about Philippe trying to be Ray, this is just the sort of old-school simple premise that made the original story arcs so wonderful. Compare: Beef, Metrosexual; Anarchist's Cookbook.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Well now that you've said it, of course it's been thoroughly jinxed. Hopefully not. I hope this one is handled with care like the precious cargo a Philippe arc should be .
Well now that you've said it, of course it's been thoroughly jinxed. Hopefully not. I hope this one is handled with care like the precious cargo a Philippe arc should be .
wic
+3 -0
In Finland we have this special place for people who don't want to go to the otherwise mandatory army service for able men, where they remain a month and then start a year lasting slavery for the country. (Which is actually only 11 months these days, yay progress.)
In any case, while I was there, I had the pleasure for me to meet an actual Orgone salesman. Instead of spending time in Orgone box he carried these iron pipes, "cloudbusters" in his backpack. The sticking iron pipes made him to look like a spaceman or at least a scary lunatic with a strange view on the world (he of course made a speech on how William Reich was nothing but a misunderstood genius and how dirt in a pipe can make cure everything and make rain), so I was too afraid to ask if he was planning on selling to cloudbusters or if they were there to cure the backache caused by the heavy backpack in the first place.
In Finland we have this special place for people who don't want to go to the otherwise mandatory army service for able men, where they remain a month and then start a year lasting slavery for the country. (Which is actually only 11 months these days, yay progress.)
In any case, while I was there, I had the pleasure for me to meet an actual Orgone salesman. Instead of spending time in Orgone box he carried these iron pipes, "cloudbusters" in his backpack. The sticking iron pipes made him to look like a spaceman or at least a scary lunatic with a strange view on the world (he of course made a speech on how William Reich was nothing but a misunderstood genius and how dirt in a pipe can make cure everything and make rain), so I was too afraid to ask if he was planning on selling to cloudbusters or if they were there to cure the backache caused by the heavy backpack in the first place.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
Dear wic. I have read your post three times, but its meaning still eludes me. I feel like I'm chasing an old witch through a labyrinth. Every time I grab at her she rounds a corner and disappears further into the maze.
Dear wic. I have read your post three times, but its meaning still eludes me. I feel like I'm chasing an old witch through a labyrinth. Every time I grab at her she rounds a corner and disappears further into the maze.
gormster
+6 -0
Whilst at a Finnish slave camp (to which he was sentenced for evading conscription) he met a guy who believed in a bunch of hippy crap.
Whilst at a Finnish slave camp (to which he was sentenced for evading conscription) he met a guy who believed in a bunch of hippy crap.
actualtaunt
+30 -0
In an east Finnish Slave Camp, born and raised
Sellin' Orgone is how I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
and sellin' some orgone outside of the school
Then a couple of soldiers who were up to no good
started drafting hippies in my neighborhood
I got in one little court case and my mom got scared
said "Olet muuttamassa kanssa täti ja setä Bel Air"
In an east Finnish Slave Camp, born and raised
Sellin' Orgone is how I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
and sellin' some orgone outside of the school
Then a couple of soldiers who were up to no good
started drafting hippies in my neighborhood
I got in one little court case and my mom got scared
said "Olet muuttamassa kanssa täti ja setä Bel Air"
actualtaunt
+1 -0
oh, cool, I'm dancing to the rhythm.
oh, cool, I'm dancing to the rhythm.
mockereo
+0 -0
will smith dances better though
will smith dances better though
actualtaunt
+1 -0
your bear dances better than will smith
Dancing woman < Will Smith < Your bear
Sorry public school
your bear dances better than will smith
Dancing woman < Will Smith < Your bear
Sorry public school
morbo
+0 -0
chub for metropolis
chub for metropolis
granularsilica
+0 -0
V-chub for Wings of Desire
V-chub for Wings of Desire
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
that was fuckin' cool, dogg.
that was fuckin' cool, dogg.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Nice. Two Wilhelm Reich references. 1st panel ("little man") and last panel ("Orgone box").
This makes me happy.
[IMGS OFF]
Nice. Two Wilhelm Reich references. 1st panel ("little man") and last panel ("Orgone box").
This makes me happy.
[IMGS OFF]
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Last time you posted the "You laugh at jokes made about you" drawing with it. You're slipping.
Last time you posted the "You laugh at jokes made about you" drawing with it. You're slipping.
cracklewater
+0 -0
And your first reply was from nice-on-water, wearing the face of JD Salinger, who used to hang out in an orgone box from time to time.
Spooky.
And your first reply was from nice-on-water, wearing the face of JD Salinger, who used to hang out in an orgone box from time to time.
Spooky.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This should've been intentional but lo, it was a coincidence. He also used to drink urine, so maybe a beaker full of urine would've worked too. I don't know why a beaker, but I thought of a beaker so why not.
This should've been intentional but lo, it was a coincidence. He also used to drink urine, so maybe a beaker full of urine would've worked too. I don't know why a beaker, but I thought of a beaker so why not.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
A sterilized beaker of urine thoughtfully imbibed by a Wilhelm implies Science cred; whereas a bottle of Thunderbird in a brown paper bag honked by a guy named Willy does not.
A sterilized beaker of urine thoughtfully imbibed by a Wilhelm implies Science cred; whereas a bottle of Thunderbird in a brown paper bag honked by a guy named Willy does not.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
A beaker of urine says professionalism.
A beaker of urine says professionalism.
mockereo
+0 -0
I keep telling people that! but nobody understands my favourite beverage
I keep telling people that! but nobody understands my favourite beverage
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The philistines...
The philistines...
cracklewater
+0 -0
A Beaker full of urine?
You've been reading my Muppet watersports fan-fiction.
Stiv, get over here.
BTW - the title for this strip now says "rb %was here" - does that mean there's a new strip about to drop?
A Beaker full of urine?
You've been reading my Muppet watersports fan-fiction.
Stiv, get over here.
BTW - the title for this strip now says "rb %was here" - does that mean there's a new strip about to drop?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I saw that too. No clue but it should mean that.
I saw that too. No clue but it should mean that.
wingspan
+0 -0
a lot of people's statuses are now set to "rb was here", including mine and I can't seem to change it. I think a certain assetbarrister got bored again and found some mischief.
a lot of people's statuses are now set to "rb was here", including mine and I can't seem to change it. I think a certain assetbarrister got bored again and found some mischief.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WHOOP!
WHOOP!
cracklewater
+0 -0
Hmm, well spotted. I hadn't noticed that.
Oh well, hope he's having fun, though I would have expected different intials than 'rb'...
Hmm, well spotted. I hadn't noticed that.
Oh well, hope he's having fun, though I would have expected different intials than 'rb'...
neonfreon
+0 -0
You sound kind of like a pussy
I wish you'd shut up
You sound kind of like a pussy
I wish you'd shut up
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
same to you, gladys.
same to you, gladys.
heccibiggs
+2 -0
Philippe's face in panel two: he's taking this shit seriously.
Philippe's face in panel two: he's taking this shit seriously.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
He doesn't want to mess up like he did last time. He thinks he's ready now. He won't let Ray down again.
He doesn't want to mess up like he did last time. He thinks he's ready now. He won't let Ray down again.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Right. Okay. With you so far.
Right. Okay. With you so far.
i_love_kate
+3 -0
Onions. Okay. I am in control of this information.
Onions. Okay. I am in control of this information.
shelbydavis
+1 -0
That's pretty much the way I look when my thesis adviser explains stuff to me. "Right. Okay. Beta is a measure of detection bias. I am in control of this information."
That's pretty much the way I look when my thesis adviser explains stuff to me. "Right. Okay. Beta is a measure of detection bias. I am in control of this information."
radioelectric
+1 -0
Hey, what are you studying?
Hey, what are you studying?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
he is studying your mother.
he is studying your mother.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He said without the faintest trace of irony.
He said without the faintest trace of irony.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
His mother is often studied by students of statistical analysis.
Along with everyone else that owns a car.
His mother is often studied by students of statistical analysis.
Along with everyone else that owns a car.
shelbydavis
+1 -0
I'm studying tactile processing... which, as it turns out, is grounds for even more innuendos than mom jokes.
I'm studying tactile processing... which, as it turns out, is grounds for even more innuendos than mom jokes.
radioelectric
+0 -0
I'm studying visual processing, high-five!
I'm studying visual processing, high-five!
granularsilica
+1 -0
Kudos for handface of famous person icon .. Pope Paul?
Kudos for handface of famous person icon .. Pope Paul?
radioelectric
+0 -0
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derek_Bailey
"Derek Bailey (January 29, 1930 %u2013 December 25, 2005) was an English avant-garde guitarist and leading figure in the free improvisation movement."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkEnrrnTiYw
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derek_Bailey
"Derek Bailey (January 29, 1930 %u2013 December 25, 2005) was an English avant-garde guitarist and leading figure in the free improvisation movement."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkEnrrnTiYw
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Okay. I'm an open minded dude. I've gotten on board with Schoenberg, Captain Beefheart, the Residents, Sun City Girls, Caroliner, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, but this is just beyond that for me. He's not doing anything. He's just hitting random strings. Come on now.
Okay. I'm an open minded dude. I've gotten on board with Schoenberg, Captain Beefheart, the Residents, Sun City Girls, Caroliner, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, but this is just beyond that for me. He's not doing anything. He's just hitting random strings. Come on now.
radioelectric
+0 -0
*sigh*, you're such a square.
His music takes a bit of a brain-shift to appreciate. The best entry-route is via his Ballads album, where he transforms a bunch of jazz standards into a fluid, continuous solo performance.
Laura - Derek Bailey
P.S. I'm off to see The Residents later this year, :-P
*sigh*, you're such a square.
His music takes a bit of a brain-shift to appreciate. The best entry-route is via his Ballads album, where he transforms a bunch of jazz standards into a fluid, continuous solo performance.
Laura - Derek Bailey
P.S. I'm off to see The Residents later this year, :-P
radioelectric
+0 -0
Well, I guess HTML is NOT the answer.
Well, I guess HTML is NOT the answer.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
It never was/is. But I will give this guy a shot.
It never was/is. But I will give this guy a shot.
mockereo
+0 -0
I also followed that link and I don't think its anything i'll ever appreciate.
I appreciate the drummer, but I wish the guitarist would quit it. It sounds unfortunately like when i let my non-musical and also non-rhythmic friends play my guitars.
also ten minutes is a bit excessive for this sort of canoodling.
I also followed that link and I don't think its anything i'll ever appreciate.
I appreciate the drummer, but I wish the guitarist would quit it. It sounds unfortunately like when i let my non-musical and also non-rhythmic friends play my guitars.
also ten minutes is a bit excessive for this sort of canoodling.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I agree with your agreement of me. It's alright when musical people go atonal because to sound bad good you have to know how to play good then play bad. But just not knowing and being bad bad is not good.
I agree with your agreement of me. It's alright when musical people go atonal because to sound bad good you have to know how to play good then play bad. But just not knowing and being bad bad is not good.
mockereo
+0 -0
yeah there just wasn't enough music left in that to hold my interest. I can give some allowance to the atonal stuff that's interesting rhythmically, but this was not that listenable.
yeah there just wasn't enough music left in that to hold my interest. I can give some allowance to the atonal stuff that's interesting rhythmically, but this was not that listenable.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Okay, the guitar strap looked like an embroidered collar at first.
Okay, the guitar strap looked like an embroidered collar at first.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
nice decides to pursue a musical style based solely on the advice of a stranger. granular explains why he misunderstood a profile pic. html falls short, and life on assetbars continues as always.
nice decides to pursue a musical style based solely on the advice of a stranger. granular explains why he misunderstood a profile pic. html falls short, and life on assetbars continues as always.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
ShelbyDavis was here.
ShelbyDavis was here.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Oh. Are YOU the one behind the "rb was here" buggery of late?
Oh. Are YOU the one behind the "rb was here" buggery of late?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ha. I have no way of knowing how to use computers ever.
Ha. I have no way of knowing how to use computers ever.
nice-on-water
+7 -0
I've known onions:
I've known onions ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.
My soul has grown deep like the onions.
I've known onions:
I've known onions ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.
My soul has grown deep like the onions.
zapatos
+1 -0
These are onions.
I know onions.
These are onions.
I know onions.
actualtaunt
+16 -0
Whose onions these are, I think I know;
His sack is in the village, though
He will not see me stop and hear
This tape of Tony Robbins, bro!
My little otter thinks it queer
To stop without medallions near
While I consume this Whole Foods steak
And drink a fifty dollar beer.
He gives his little thong a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
My missed appointment makes him weep
To hear the whole foods guy's a flake.
The orgone box is dark and deep.
But I have appointments to keep,
And spuds to sell that won't be cheap,
And spuds to sell that won't be cheap.
Whose onions these are, I think I know;
His sack is in the village, though
He will not see me stop and hear
This tape of Tony Robbins, bro!
My little otter thinks it queer
To stop without medallions near
While I consume this Whole Foods steak
And drink a fifty dollar beer.
He gives his little thong a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
My missed appointment makes him weep
To hear the whole foods guy's a flake.
The orgone box is dark and deep.
But I have appointments to keep,
And spuds to sell that won't be cheap,
And spuds to sell that won't be cheap.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I won't chubby this out of spite because no one recognized my Langston Hughes reference.
Aw hell, here ya go.
I won't chubby this out of spite because no one recognized my Langston Hughes reference.
Aw hell, here ya go.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
A contraire; I recognized your american poet, and I raised you an american poet.
You may choose to counter with... an american poet?
A contraire; I recognized your american poet, and I raised you an american poet.
You may choose to counter with... an american poet?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I must've missed it then, so whoops, my "B."
I must've missed it then, so whoops, my "B."
howl
+0 -0
I did (shout out to my 8th grade language arts teacher)
I did (shout out to my 8th grade language arts teacher)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ah, language arts: the retarded cousin of english that no one talks about. "Reading class" is language arts' dead goldfish.
Ah, language arts: the retarded cousin of english that no one talks about. "Reading class" is language arts' dead goldfish.
expellens
+0 -0
That is amazing Ms. Robot Dance Party. All ryhming iambic tetrameter, and [aaba bbcb ccdc dddd] structure and such.
Ooooohh shiiiit!!!
That is amazing Ms. Robot Dance Party. All ryhming iambic tetrameter, and [aaba bbcb ccdc dddd] structure and such.
Ooooohh shiiiit!!!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I hope I am not too late for the 20th century American poetry/Achewood mashup. I have a submission.
Call the roller of fat jays
The tubby one, and bid him whip
Three egg yolks for the aioli.
Let the low dudes dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring cold white wine and crispy stellas.
Let us hope the small bear does not start undressing.
The only emperor is the emperor of wasabi dressing.
I hope I am not too late for the 20th century American poetry/Achewood mashup. I have a submission.
Call the roller of fat jays
The tubby one, and bid him whip
Three egg yolks for the aioli.
Let the low dudes dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring cold white wine and crispy stellas.
Let us hope the small bear does not start undressing.
The only emperor is the emperor of wasabi dressing.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
I laugh sometimes when I think about
say
Cornelius at a typewriter
or Lyle...
or Ray...
ordinary animals with feet, ears, eyes,
ordinary animals with hair on their heads
sitting there typing words
while having difficulties with life
while being puzzled almost to madness.
Lyle gets up
he leaves the machine to piss,
comes back
drinks a fifth of Old Grand-Dad and thinks about
the football and
shoving it three feet.
Cornelius stops, gets up, walks to the
window, looks out, thinks, my last regular
at the Dude and Circumstance died today,
I won't have to murmur platitudes
to him again.
when I saw him last
he paid his tab up;
it's those who don't pay their bills,
they live on and on.
Cornelius walks back, sits down at the
machine
is still for a good two minutes
then begins to type.
Ray stands over his machine thinking,
I wonder if they are going to believe
all these things I write?
he sits down, begins to type.
he doesn't know what a writer's block
is:
he's a prolific son-of-a-bitch
damn near as magnificent as
the Chochacho Sun.
he types away.
and I laugh
not out loud
but all up and down these walls, these
dirty yellow and blue walls
Roast Beef asleep near the
table
hiding his eyes from the
light.
he's not alone tonight
and neither am
I.
I laugh sometimes when I think about
say
Cornelius at a typewriter
or Lyle...
or Ray...
ordinary animals with feet, ears, eyes,
ordinary animals with hair on their heads
sitting there typing words
while having difficulties with life
while being puzzled almost to madness.
Lyle gets up
he leaves the machine to piss,
comes back
drinks a fifth of Old Grand-Dad and thinks about
the football and
shoving it three feet.
Cornelius stops, gets up, walks to the
window, looks out, thinks, my last regular
at the Dude and Circumstance died today,
I won't have to murmur platitudes
to him again.
when I saw him last
he paid his tab up;
it's those who don't pay their bills,
they live on and on.
Cornelius walks back, sits down at the
machine
is still for a good two minutes
then begins to type.
Ray stands over his machine thinking,
I wonder if they are going to believe
all these things I write?
he sits down, begins to type.
he doesn't know what a writer's block
is:
he's a prolific son-of-a-bitch
damn near as magnificent as
the Chochacho Sun.
he types away.
and I laugh
not out loud
but all up and down these walls, these
dirty yellow and blue walls
Roast Beef asleep near the
table
hiding his eyes from the
light.
he's not alone tonight
and neither am
I.
capslock_annliv
+0 -0
Droning a drowsy Tony Robbins tune,
Inanimate to a mellow croon,
I saw an onion learn.
Down on Via Vera the other night
By the bright white glare of Cadillac headlights
It laid there in a bag . . .
It laid there in a bag . . .
To the tune o' Awaken the Giant.
With its sienna roots dead out from the ground
It made that poor hipster spend her money.
Social awareness!
Rolling to and fro on a rickety table
It cost that sad hobo dude a seven-dollar toll
Sweet cash!
Coming from an American Curl%u2019s soul.
O Scratch!
In a deep song voice with a courageous tone
I heard that veggie sing, that old onion scream--
"Ain't got no knowledge in all this world,
Ain't got no care but for ma self.
I's gwine to quit bein%u2019 ignorant
And put ma self up on the shelf."
Thump, thump, thump, went dumb onions on the floor.
He played some chess then he screamed some more--
"I got the Cameroon Blues
And I can't be sold for cheap.
Got the BBC Blues
And can't be sold for cheap--
I ain't a dummy no mo'
And I wish that I was alive."
And far into the night he crooned %u2018bout Cameroon.
The choppers touched down and so did the Giant.
The onion stopped caring and went to bed
While the Political Blues echoed through his layers.
He slept like an onion or a man that's dead.
Droning a drowsy Tony Robbins tune,
Inanimate to a mellow croon,
I saw an onion learn.
Down on Via Vera the other night
By the bright white glare of Cadillac headlights
It laid there in a bag . . .
It laid there in a bag . . .
To the tune o' Awaken the Giant.
With its sienna roots dead out from the ground
It made that poor hipster spend her money.
Social awareness!
Rolling to and fro on a rickety table
It cost that sad hobo dude a seven-dollar toll
Sweet cash!
Coming from an American Curl%u2019s soul.
O Scratch!
In a deep song voice with a courageous tone
I heard that veggie sing, that old onion scream--
"Ain't got no knowledge in all this world,
Ain't got no care but for ma self.
I's gwine to quit bein%u2019 ignorant
And put ma self up on the shelf."
Thump, thump, thump, went dumb onions on the floor.
He played some chess then he screamed some more--
"I got the Cameroon Blues
And I can't be sold for cheap.
Got the BBC Blues
And can't be sold for cheap--
I ain't a dummy no mo'
And I wish that I was alive."
And far into the night he crooned %u2018bout Cameroon.
The choppers touched down and so did the Giant.
The onion stopped caring and went to bed
While the Political Blues echoed through his layers.
He slept like an onion or a man that's dead.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the onions
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for dinner
Forgive me
they were delicious
so organic
and so knowledgeable
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the onions
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for dinner
Forgive me
they were delicious
so organic
and so knowledgeable
shelbydavis
+0 -0
You do not do, you do not do
Any more, US News
From you I have read like a fool
For thirty minutes, dull and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.
Ray, I have had to read for you.
You dialed before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a box full of orgones,
A ghastly statue with one gray suit,
Big as a seven-dollar tuber.
You do not do, you do not do
Any more, US News
From you I have read like a fool
For thirty minutes, dull and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.
Ray, I have had to read for you.
You dialed before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a box full of orgones,
A ghastly statue with one gray suit,
Big as a seven-dollar tuber.
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
I've seen the onions of my generation
Read to in a bag by Tony Robbins.
I've seen the onions of my generation
Read to in a bag by Tony Robbins.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
The apparition of these faces in the crowd,
Onions in a wet brown bag.
The apparition of these faces in the crowd,
Onions in a wet brown bag.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
Changing it up for some synergy here:
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was planted and what my lousy harvesting was like, and how my roots were occupied and all before they grew me, and all the self-improvement tapes I had to listen to and all that Farmer's Almanack kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, Tony Robbins and Ray would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them.
Changing it up for some synergy here:
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was planted and what my lousy harvesting was like, and how my roots were occupied and all before they grew me, and all the self-improvement tapes I had to listen to and all that Farmer's Almanack kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, Tony Robbins and Ray would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them.
janeausten
+1 -0
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hipster in possession of their parents' income, must be in want of trendy vegetables.
However little known the feelings or views of such a hipster may be on his first entering a Whole Foods, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the marketers, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their product lines.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hipster in possession of their parents' income, must be in want of trendy vegetables.
However little known the feelings or views of such a hipster may be on his first entering a Whole Foods, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the marketers, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their product lines.
jamesjoyce
+1 -0
Once upon a time and a very progressive time it was there was an onion coming down along the road and this onion that was coming down along the road met a nicens little otter named philippe.
Ray told him that story; Ray looked at him through sunglasses; he had a cat face.
He was Philippe. The onion came down the road where Teodor lived; he sold pot to Little Nephew.
O the words of Tony Robbins
On the little yellow onion.
He sang that song. That was his song.
O the worst of Tony's robins.
When you wet the bed first it is warm then it gets horrifying. Teodor lit a joint. That had a queer smell.
Once upon a time and a very progressive time it was there was an onion coming down along the road and this onion that was coming down along the road met a nicens little otter named philippe.
Ray told him that story; Ray looked at him through sunglasses; he had a cat face.
He was Philippe. The onion came down the road where Teodor lived; he sold pot to Little Nephew.
O the words of Tony Robbins
On the little yellow onion.
He sang that song. That was his song.
O the worst of Tony's robins.
When you wet the bed first it is warm then it gets horrifying. Teodor lit a joint. That had a queer smell.
expellens
+0 -0
Portrait of the Otter as a Young Cat
Portrait of the Otter as a Young Cat
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You're blowing my mind expellens.
You're blowing my mind expellens.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Philippe has been potty trained. He knows never to take a shit with a devil-may-care attitude.
Philippe has been potty trained. He knows never to take a shit with a devil-may-care attitude.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
God of fun 'round Ray's neck...
God of fun 'round Ray's neck...
neonfreon
+1 -1
Fellas, i'm sitting here listening to some music - the beatles rooftop concert - and i have this cat on my lap
the cat is all black - 100% black, and it acts like a dog - follows me on 3 mile walks etc
it's licking itself all over right now and I have never felt more strongly that Ray Smuckles is not a cat
I'm looking at him right now and i'm having to admit he looks a lot more like yogi bear with nipples than a fucking cat
My challenge to ACHEWOOD dedicated posters: post the jpegs of cats that more closely resemble Ray Smuckles than Yogi bear
Fellas, i'm sitting here listening to some music - the beatles rooftop concert - and i have this cat on my lap
the cat is all black - 100% black, and it acts like a dog - follows me on 3 mile walks etc
it's licking itself all over right now and I have never felt more strongly that Ray Smuckles is not a cat
I'm looking at him right now and i'm having to admit he looks a lot more like yogi bear with nipples than a fucking cat
My challenge to ACHEWOOD dedicated posters: post the jpegs of cats that more closely resemble Ray Smuckles than Yogi bear
neonfreon
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
neonfreon
+0 -0
Compare that to the first cat - it's clear that Ray Smuckles is a bear or at least a genetic mistake
[IMGS OFF]
Compare that to the first cat - it's clear that Ray Smuckles is a bear or at least a genetic mistake
[IMGS OFF]
lolsworth
+2 -0
I have never seen a cat that looked more like Ray than that li'l guy.
I have never seen a cat that looked more like Ray than that li'l guy.
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by soup_alex, extortshorties, neo-aeris, Scorpio_nadir, mr-siegal, wingspan, excusemesenator, I_Love_Kate, Loop)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by soup_alex, extortshorties, neo-aeris, Scorpio_nadir, mr-siegal, wingspan, excusemesenator, I_Love_Kate, Loop)
emosexy
+0 -0
Someone please lame him for me. I am supposedly too mean to do it. :(
Someone please lame him for me. I am supposedly too mean to do it. :(
mockereo
+0 -0
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
clicking on that link is so fucking annoying. Don't. It makes your internet window jump around really fast and plays an audio clip that says "Hey everybody! I'm looking at gay porno!"
please people this to oblivion so the disease does not spread
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
clicking on that link is so fucking annoying. Don't. It makes your internet window jump around really fast and plays an audio clip that says "Hey everybody! I'm looking at gay porno!"
please people this to oblivion so the disease does not spread
ratacat
+0 -0
too fuckin' hilarious. I have been bested. I thought for sure there was no more exploits in Asset Ghetto... yet at the same time I suspected I might be wrong... sure enough...
the non-malicious link would be this :
https://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php
too fuckin' hilarious. I have been bested. I thought for sure there was no more exploits in Asset Ghetto... yet at the same time I suspected I might be wrong... sure enough...
the non-malicious link would be this :
https://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php
lolsworth
+0 -0
I can neither lame nor mark as spam. Had I known someone was going to post Last Measure I would have been more scrupulous. Damn.
I can neither lame nor mark as spam. Had I known someone was going to post Last Measure I would have been more scrupulous. Damn.
edd36
+0 -0
It's the ears that make you think this but
[IMGS OFF]
It's the ears that make you think this but
[IMGS OFF]
edd36
+7 -0
Sorry, I meant to post THIS
[IMGS OFF]
Sorry, I meant to post THIS
[IMGS OFF]
wazza
+5 -0
or this?
[IMGS OFF]
or this?
[IMGS OFF]
iduf
+2 -0
Let's play "THE CAT IS SLOWLY EVOLVING INTO RAY"!
[IMGS OFF]
Let's play "THE CAT IS SLOWLY EVOLVING INTO RAY"!
[IMGS OFF]
iduf
+31 -0
Or "Mess up your BBcode".
[IMGS OFF]
Or "Mess up your BBcode".
[IMGS OFF]
autrepoupee
+10 -0
you stay away from my son, ray the cat
you stay away from my son, ray the cat
nice-on-water
+0 -0
aaaa ray the cat get away from me!
aaaa ray the cat get away from me!
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Ray the cat isn't allowed near public schools anymore.
Ray the cat isn't allowed near public schools anymore.
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
Ray the Cat is not allowed near local schools.
Ray the Cat understands that what he did was very wrong.
Ray the Cat has served his prison sentence, and just wants to get on with his life.
A local mother is running a petition to get Ray the Cat removed from the area.
Ray the Cat is not allowed near local schools.
Ray the Cat understands that what he did was very wrong.
Ray the Cat has served his prison sentence, and just wants to get on with his life.
A local mother is running a petition to get Ray the Cat removed from the area.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ray the Cat is not cool with his past life decisions but hopes to make better ones now that he has help because life is hard and we all need a little bit of support from others.
Ray the Cat is no different.
Ray the Cat wants to be better.
Ray the Cat wants what we all want.
Ray the Cat is doing his best.
Ray the Cat is taking it one day at a time.
Ray the Cat is not cool with his past life decisions but hopes to make better ones now that he has help because life is hard and we all need a little bit of support from others.
Ray the Cat is no different.
Ray the Cat wants to be better.
Ray the Cat wants what we all want.
Ray the Cat is doing his best.
Ray the Cat is taking it one day at a time.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
There once was a feline called Ray
Who behaved in a terrible way.
He succumbed to temptation,
So he's now on probation.
What was it that made him that way?
There once was a feline called Ray
Who behaved in a terrible way.
He succumbed to temptation,
So he's now on probation.
What was it that made him that way?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
"Phillipe, what did I tell you about bringing girl's to our business meetings?"
[IMGS OFF]
"Phillipe, what did I tell you about bringing girl's to our business meetings?"
wazza
+0 -0
girl's what?
girl's what?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
boobs
boobs
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
amen.
amen.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
is that a defaced picture of david berkowitz(sp?)?
is that a defaced picture of david berkowitz(sp?)?
rowboat
+0 -0
I was thinkin' Jim Jones.
I was thinkin' Jim Jones.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
Show me where Ray asked you to touch him on this stuffed kitty.
Show me where Ray asked you to touch him on this stuffed kitty.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
'stuffed kitty' sounds like title of some nasty porno.
'stuffed kitty' sounds like title of some nasty porno.
soup_alex
+0 -0
I don't see it.
In the UK (and the Commonwealth?), a "stuffed kitty" could mean a jar full of money. But nobody would say "stuffed kitty".
I don't see it.
In the UK (and the Commonwealth?), a "stuffed kitty" could mean a jar full of money. But nobody would say "stuffed kitty".
varnish
+0 -0
I don't like what you're doing here. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
I don't like what you're doing here. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Pilippe-Ray is the cutest thing since Philippe's bee costume MAYBE.
Pilippe-Ray is the cutest thing since Philippe's bee costume MAYBE.
nice-on-water
+13 -0
LET'S SPELL HIS NAME REALLY WRONG TODAY OKAY GUYS
LET'S SPELL HIS NAME REALLY WRONG TODAY OKAY GUYS
lolsworth
+2 -0
Misspelling Philippe I can understand. (is it two ells or two pees or both oh god I am not ready for this it makes no sense IT MAKES NO SENSE !) It's the people who keep calling Téodor "Téodore" and such that gets to me. It is the third most straightforward name (after "Ray" and "Beef") and what's more YOU ONLY EVER SEE IT WRITTEN DOWN. IT IS NOT LIKE THIS IS RADIO AND YOU HAVE TO GUESS AT HOW THE WORDS WOULD LOOK WHEN WRITTEN DOWN. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE.
Misspelling Philippe I can understand. (is it two ells or two pees or both oh god I am not ready for this it makes no sense IT MAKES NO SENSE !) It's the people who keep calling Téodor "Téodore" and such that gets to me. It is the third most straightforward name (after "Ray" and "Beef") and what's more YOU ONLY EVER SEE IT WRITTEN DOWN. IT IS NOT LIKE THIS IS RADIO AND YOU HAVE TO GUESS AT HOW THE WORDS WOULD LOOK WHEN WRITTEN DOWN. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also if you're unsure it's so much easier to spell T or Tacodor! COME ON PEOPLE THIS IS SIMPLE STUFF
Also if you're unsure it's so much easier to spell T or Tacodor! COME ON PEOPLE THIS IS SIMPLE STUFF
wazza
+0 -0
I think "Pat" and "Nice Pete" are more straightforward than "Teodor"
I think "Pat" and "Nice Pete" are more straightforward than "Teodor"
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Secondary characters to Teodor's primary. Put your thinking brain on, boy, shit.
Secondary characters to Teodor's primary. Put your thinking brain on, boy, shit.
wazza
+1 -0
you didn't specify that.
you didn't specify that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It shouldn't even have to be said. Shit, fool. Thinking brain. Invest in one.
It shouldn't even have to be said. Shit, fool. Thinking brain. Invest in one.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Aisle brain, waz.
Aisle brain, waz.
wazza
+0 -0
I ain't in the business of mentally covering for your failings, dogg
I ain't in the business of mentally covering for your failings, dogg
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Good thing I never fail mentally.
Good thing I never fail mentally.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
...and then you woke up and realized it was all a dream.
...and then you woke up and realized it was all a dream.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WAY TO MAKE FUN OF THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED
WAY TO MAKE FUN OF THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED
nice-on-water
+0 -0
BOO GREENKOOLAYD BOOO
BOO GREENKOOLAYD BOOO
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
would it feel any better coming from your ladyfriend gladi? in surri ei dint misepll awll da werdz. hoo du yu fink yoo r?
would it feel any better coming from your ladyfriend gladi? in surri ei dint misepll awll da werdz. hoo du yu fink yoo r?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Wait what?
Wait what?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
it was a tantrum. pay no mind.
it was a tantrum. pay no mind.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
actualtaunt
+0 -0
i'm basically a shit dude but spelling things wrong isn't a thing of intent it is like i have not done it right and then it will not such as let me edit man its just the way man
i'm basically a shit dude but spelling things wrong isn't a thing of intent it is like i have not done it right and then it will not such as let me edit man its just the way man
lolsworth
+0 -0
An edit function is sorely needed, this is entirely correct.
An edit function is sorely needed, this is entirely correct.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is that what he was saying? I agree.
Is that what he was saying? I agree.
un_malpaso
+1 -0
it's not a bug, it's a creature
it's not a bug, it's a creature
quinlaenar
+0 -0
I had to read this one twice to notice Philippe thought that a book about being successful was about a giant living in a mountain. Success on Onstad's part.
I had to read this one twice to notice Philippe thought that a book about being successful was about a giant living in a mountain. Success on Onstad's part.
redmange
+1 -0
Yes, yes, yes, I love where this is going, I am excited, this is good, this is what should be. This is what was meant to be. There was a time before this, but that time is gone, and we will never speak of it again. We will never again speak of the time before Rhillipe.
Yes, yes, yes, I love where this is going, I am excited, this is good, this is what should be. This is what was meant to be. There was a time before this, but that time is gone, and we will never speak of it again. We will never again speak of the time before Rhillipe.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Ray-leep? Phil-ay. Filet! Good! Bad?
Ray-leep? Phil-ay. Filet! Good! Bad?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
Phray.
Phray.
mockereo
+0 -0
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FIVE YEAR OLD EVER
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FIVE YEAR OLD EVER
daidai
+6 -0
Somewhere, the kid on the Life Cereal box is furious
Somewhere, the kid on the Life Cereal box is furious
pmbarrett
+1 -0
everywhere he's furious. he peaked at five, on a cereal box, for the whole country to see.
everywhere he's furious. he peaked at five, on a cereal box, for the whole country to see.
mawk
+0 -0
shame on that kid. it's too bad that life has made him idiotic.
shame on that kid. it's too bad that life has made him idiotic.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Wishin' he died from them Pop Rocks and Coke but damned if God didn't have other plans. He liked Life; he must suffer through life.
Wishin' he died from them Pop Rocks and Coke but damned if God didn't have other plans. He liked Life; he must suffer through life.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You gots any fresh shreemp gumbo?
You gots any fresh shreemp gumbo?
i_love_kate
+5 -0
Philippe has no shoulders. My guess is that he stopped paying attention to the CD/onions as soon as he heard "be like someone you like!" and thence wandered off to begin carefully stapling that chain to his neck.
Philippe has no shoulders. My guess is that he stopped paying attention to the CD/onions as soon as he heard "be like someone you like!" and thence wandered off to begin carefully stapling that chain to his neck.
charchar
+1 -0
I was about to make this comment and then I decided to see if it had been done.
GodDAMMIT, i_love_kate, you have ruined my day.
I was about to make this comment and then I decided to see if it had been done.
GodDAMMIT, i_love_kate, you have ruined my day.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
There is no silver medal in knife fighting, but there is a consolation chubby in this.
There is no silver medal in knife fighting, but there is a consolation chubby in this.
miaou
+0 -0
I gave this comment a lol.
I gave this comment a lol.
puguglypress
+1 -0
I think he actually became a success and got a high-paying job in that time just to impress Ray
I think he actually became a success and got a high-paying job in that time just to impress Ray
stereo
+0 -0
I figure like a false beard, it's just hooked behind his ears or something.
I figure like a false beard, it's just hooked behind his ears or something.
taiga81
+0 -0
not to be a subscriber dick, but in the extra content was a diagram of the setup, a rosary from his mom glued to some reading glasses, because "he's not a 'shoulders-type guy'
not to be a subscriber dick, but in the extra content was a diagram of the setup, a rosary from his mom glued to some reading glasses, because "he's not a 'shoulders-type guy'
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
it is extraordinary to be able to be a dick without trying.
it is extraordinary to be able to be a dick without trying.
taiga81
+0 -0
sorry mom, sorry dad, sorry greenkoolayd
sorry mom, sorry dad, sorry greenkoolayd
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i meant in general. the combination of words you posted did not offend me.
i meant in general. the combination of words you posted did not offend me.
carrett
+0 -0
Speaking of onions, is there presently any way to purchase the Achewood cookbooks? They're out of stock here and on Amazon and I really want them.
Speaking of onions, is there presently any way to purchase the Achewood cookbooks? They're out of stock here and on Amazon and I really want them.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
bla bla bla $10k up front bla bla bla
bla bla bla $10k up front bla bla bla
zapatos
+0 -0
Man I ordered the CookBook II six months ago. I still do not have my copy.
I did get the kick-ass limited edition Phillipe Pint Glass though!
Man I ordered the CookBook II six months ago. I still do not have my copy.
I did get the kick-ass limited edition Phillipe Pint Glass though!
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i have heard this complaint from others, as well. i have yet to buy the first one.
i have heard this complaint from others, as well. i have yet to buy the first one.
platnmplus
+1 -0
Is it just me or does it look like when he puts on the sunglasses, Philippe is as bald as Suge Knight (sans cigar)?
[IMGS OFF]
Is it just me or does it look like when he puts on the sunglasses, Philippe is as bald as Suge Knight (sans cigar)?
[IMGS OFF]
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
phillippe is considerably less menacing. and hes covered in fur, so i wouldnt consider him bald.
phillippe is considerably less menacing. and hes covered in fur, so i wouldnt consider him bald.
platnmplus
+0 -0
I wonder if the chain Suge's wearing there is a cross or a medallion...
I wonder if the chain Suge's wearing there is a cross or a medallion...
mawk
+0 -0
Two Rays. One is five. The other is not.
Two Rays. One is five. The other is not.
miaou
+27 -0
Two Rays. One is a cat. The otter is not.
Two Rays. One is a cat. The otter is not.
mawk
+1 -0
reading this, I felt simultaneous jollity and nausea, as if while the rest of me was laughing, my central organs were straining to escape from a world in which such puns could be stated so casually.
I believe anyone who can expertly give rise to such an amalgam of emotion deserves at least a chubby for technique -- a "technichubby," if you will, although you won't.
reading this, I felt simultaneous jollity and nausea, as if while the rest of me was laughing, my central organs were straining to escape from a world in which such puns could be stated so casually.
I believe anyone who can expertly give rise to such an amalgam of emotion deserves at least a chubby for technique -- a "technichubby," if you will, although you won't.
pmbarrett
+4 -0
miaou and the amazing technichubby dream-post.
miaou and the amazing technichubby dream-post.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
sorry everybody
sorry everybody
stonecrab
+0 -0
Don't apologize. I kind of lol-ed!
Don't apologize. I kind of lol-ed!
un_malpaso
+0 -0
Oh, I will. I give out chubbies like Alec Baldwin gives out Glengarry leads. You want them, and you can't have them. And this comment made me curse my unborn children for having a father who was so clever yet failed... failed to see the otter pun. May Moe have mercy on my soul.
Oh, I will. I give out chubbies like Alec Baldwin gives out Glengarry leads. You want them, and you can't have them. And this comment made me curse my unborn children for having a father who was so clever yet failed... failed to see the otter pun. May Moe have mercy on my soul.
quinlaenar
+1 -0
Every single one of Philippe's first eight words have a punctuation mark after them.
Food for thought.
Every single one of Philippe's first eight words have a punctuation mark after them.
Food for thought.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
regarding dialogue, phillippe is the anti-roast beef.
regarding dialogue, phillippe is the anti-roast beef.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
That's a very good observation. You obviously have an eye for these things. Have you considered the high flying world of being an English student?
That's a very good observation. You obviously have an eye for these things. Have you considered the high flying world of being an English student?
theirateturk
+0 -0
Best comic in months
Don't like the repetition of little massive man though
Best comic in months
Don't like the repetition of little massive man though
hedonismbot
+3 -0
Neither did she
Neither did she
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Little Massive Man
the astonishing debut single
from
M.U.M.ford & tha $onzzzz
Little Massive Man
the astonishing debut single
from
M.U.M.ford & tha $onzzzz
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
lol isnt dat teh guy whose gf got her snatch swarmed on by teh bassball team?
lol isnt dat teh guy whose gf got her snatch swarmed on by teh bassball team?
granularsilica
+0 -0
I thought we buried that. Oh well.
I thought we buried that. Oh well.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
buried that like a penis in ir8trucks gf's clam, maybe
buried that like a penis in ir8trucks gf's clam, maybe
mrchuckletrouzd
+0 -0
It felt intentional, though. There is humor in Ray immediately creating a pet name for Phillipe that he wants to use multiple times in his joy and surprise. It's not as if it's a repetition which could be noticed by any old ''Guest2625'' but not the brilliant author.
Besides, real people are very repetitive.
SUBTLE CHARACTERIZATION.
ALSO: 2625; anybody?
It felt intentional, though. There is humor in Ray immediately creating a pet name for Phillipe that he wants to use multiple times in his joy and surprise. It's not as if it's a repetition which could be noticed by any old ''Guest2625'' but not the brilliant author.
Besides, real people are very repetitive.
SUBTLE CHARACTERIZATION.
ALSO: 2625; anybody?
neonfreon
+0 -0
The height of the Burj Dubai, the recently opened tallest building in the world.
The height of the Burj Dubai, the recently opened tallest building in the world.
pumpinpedal
+0 -0
I totally love this.
I totally love this.
falseprophet
+9 -0
Business Deals Are Like Basketball
I am there
And the client is there
And it is just the two of us
And I put the client in my limo
And then I am the winner.
Business Deals Are Like Basketball
I am there
And the client is there
And it is just the two of us
And I put the client in my limo
And then I am the winner.
crom
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
doppelganger
+2 -0
It's really just a place to jerk off.
It's really just a place to jerk off.
cracklewater
+5 -0
THIS IS THE BOX WHERE THE ORGONES SHALL ACCUMULATE
THIS IS THE BOX WHERE THE ORGONES SHALL ACCUMULATE
plummet
+0 -0
Oh my God
this
this is AWESOME
Oh my God
this
this is AWESOME
gladi8orrex
+9 -0
azn fact: alotta them need glasses. waaay too many glass
azn fact: they have they kids learn classical instruments (piano, mostly chinese)
that is jus' somea the things i know abot slopes. thx for listlinin
azn fact: alotta them need glasses. waaay too many glass
azn fact: they have they kids learn classical instruments (piano, mostly chinese)
that is jus' somea the things i know abot slopes. thx for listlinin
plummet
+0 -0
gj bruv, you get a chubbie
gj bruv, you get a chubbie
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
they make rad food. chinese food is the shit.
they make rad food. chinese food is the shit.
plummet
+0 -0
BRO TIP : the chinese food you get in Chinese-American restaurants is not real chinese food.
Authentic chinese food has chicken feet and gizzards and heads and other fun things
BRO TIP : the chinese food you get in Chinese-American restaurants is not real chinese food.
Authentic chinese food has chicken feet and gizzards and heads and other fun things
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
duh. chinese people make it, so i call it chinese food.
duh. chinese people make it, so i call it chinese food.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
When actually Chinese-American peole make it, so you should probably just go ahead and call it Chinese-American food.
The key difference between Chinese-American food and Chinese-British food is the profusion of hilarious inappropriate faux-British pet names that you recieve in response to your order.
When actually Chinese-American peole make it, so you should probably just go ahead and call it Chinese-American food.
The key difference between Chinese-American food and Chinese-British food is the profusion of hilarious inappropriate faux-British pet names that you recieve in response to your order.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
what is a faux-british pet name?
what is a faux-british pet name?
stereo
+0 -0
Guv'nah, chum, mate, the whole rozzle tov.
Guv'nah, chum, mate, the whole rozzle tov.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I assume that i_love_kate is talking about the way that terms of address which sound natural in the voice of a white northern barmaid in her fifties (love, pet, chuck etc.) sound rather different, although still very charming, when spoken by a young Cantonese girl who is taking your order for Beef in black bean sauce. I remember being very amused when I heard a Sikh cabbie in Glasgow call my sister 'hen' in a thick Punjabi accent.
I assume that i_love_kate is talking about the way that terms of address which sound natural in the voice of a white northern barmaid in her fifties (love, pet, chuck etc.) sound rather different, although still very charming, when spoken by a young Cantonese girl who is taking your order for Beef in black bean sauce. I remember being very amused when I heard a Sikh cabbie in Glasgow call my sister 'hen' in a thick Punjabi accent.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I am glad that there are people on this board who are not completely overcome by my incoherent babblings.
I am glad that there are people on this board who are not completely overcome by my incoherent babblings.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
So I am.
So I am.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[nod]] when i see 'faux-british pet name', i think of the phrase 'faux-dago sexuality'. im sure it is because they are constructed similarly.
[[nod]] when i see 'faux-british pet name', i think of the phrase 'faux-dago sexuality'. im sure it is because they are constructed similarly.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
Mustard: a common spice foraged from the roots of the mustard plant. oftren uset in amercian quizine. (i.e, frankfarts, hambrugers, french frys, 'junior' tacos, sammichs.)
i oslo got food facts. i no a lil abot alot an thast okay
Mustard: a common spice foraged from the roots of the mustard plant. oftren uset in amercian quizine. (i.e, frankfarts, hambrugers, french frys, 'junior' tacos, sammichs.)
i oslo got food facts. i no a lil abot alot an thast okay
wazza
+0 -0
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Gladi8orrex is dangerous in many ways.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Gladi8orrex is dangerous in many ways.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Alexander Pope's all, "drink deep, or taste not the Pierian--" and Gladi's all "Fuck yeah man, gimme a swig a that."
Alexander Pope's all, "drink deep, or taste not the Pierian--" and Gladi's all "Fuck yeah man, gimme a swig a that."
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
how does a 'junior taco' differ from a 'taco'?
how does a 'junior taco' differ from a 'taco'?
mockereo
+1 -0
but the most important member of the taco family is definitely the Macatacahodo 360
but the most important member of the taco family is definitely the Macatacahodo 360
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
that is the coolest name for a foodstuff that i have ever heard.
that is the coolest name for a foodstuff that i have ever heard.
wazza
+0 -0
I made myself a plate of those last year. They were... filling.
I made myself a plate of those last year. They were... filling.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
i bet they make your poops mad sturdy, yo.
i bet they make your poops mad sturdy, yo.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
(pre-apology)
One is legal, the other is not.
(pre-apology)
One is legal, the other is not.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Maybe you should've gotten us a pre- pre -apology.
Maybe you should've gotten us a pre- pre -apology.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
junior taco only has to do 3 to 5 and can ditch probation
junior taco only has to do 3 to 5 and can ditch probation
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Chinese-Scottish has been nothing but a delight so far, thank you very much.
Chinese-Scottish has been nothing but a delight so far, thank you very much.
tekende
+0 -0
Depends where you go. Yeah, Super China King Buffet or whatever ain't very Chinese. But most of the nicer sit-down places tend to be more authentic.
There's a place here called Dot Wo. I ate there a while back with my family and a couple of visitors from China (parents of an exchange student who stayed with my grandparents a couple years ago). I asked one of the visitors if the food we were eating was about like what they eat at home or if it was more Americanized and he said it was about the same.
To be fair, he didn't speak English really well so it's possible he didn't know what I was saying. I don't know.
Depends where you go. Yeah, Super China King Buffet or whatever ain't very Chinese. But most of the nicer sit-down places tend to be more authentic.
There's a place here called Dot Wo. I ate there a while back with my family and a couple of visitors from China (parents of an exchange student who stayed with my grandparents a couple years ago). I asked one of the visitors if the food we were eating was about like what they eat at home or if it was more Americanized and he said it was about the same.
To be fair, he didn't speak English really well so it's possible he didn't know what I was saying. I don't know.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
he was bein' polite bro. dint wanna damage ur views on stuff he was prob like 'man dis guaylo aint never come to fatherland. the fuck i mess up his enjoyment of a dish. i'll jus' lie to 'em. hope he d8s my daughter'
he was bein' polite bro. dint wanna damage ur views on stuff he was prob like 'man dis guaylo aint never come to fatherland. the fuck i mess up his enjoyment of a dish. i'll jus' lie to 'em. hope he d8s my daughter'
mockereo
+0 -0
please tell me you learned "guaylo" from Fast and the Furious : Tokyo Drift. thats where i learned it.
please tell me you learned "guaylo" from Fast and the Furious : Tokyo Drift. thats where i learned it.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
so thats like an asian equivalent of the word "gringo", right?
so thats like an asian equivalent of the word "gringo", right?
wazza
+0 -0
I thought it was the Tau word for human soldiers
it's spelled Gue'la, by the way
I thought it was the Tau word for human soldiers
it's spelled Gue'la, by the way
plummet
+0 -0
For Chinese, it's Gwailo, yes
for Japanese, if they call you a Gaijin they are basically calling you a nigger in their own language
For Chinese, it's Gwailo, yes
for Japanese, if they call you a Gaijin they are basically calling you a nigger in their own language
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I always saw it written as "gwei lo" when I lived in Hong Kong in my youth, but it doesn't really matter.
General translation was "white devil".
I always saw it written as "gwei lo" when I lived in Hong Kong in my youth, but it doesn't really matter.
General translation was "white devil".
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
r u azn? or did you grow up in a military family?
r u azn? or did you grow up in a military family?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Neither.
sup u got smthng aganst milatary cuz i gotz r-me peepz
no srsly tho im rme of won
Neither.
sup u got smthng aganst milatary cuz i gotz r-me peepz
no srsly tho im rme of won
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
nuh, dud, muh yonger bruh id in teh r-me. have mad respek 4 da miletairi doodz en chiks, reguardlezz.
nuh, dud, muh yonger bruh id in teh r-me. have mad respek 4 da miletairi doodz en chiks, reguardlezz.
puguglypress
+0 -0
i misread that as "miletairi doodz en chinks ", which would have tied the discussion together quite nicely.
i misread that as "miletairi doodz en chinks ", which would have tied the discussion together quite nicely.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Them japs sure are racist.
Them japs sure are racist.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Gaijin is a perfectly acceptable term in many situations. It just means foreign person.
Don't go spreadin' hate, Plummet.
Gaijin is a perfectly acceptable term in many situations. It just means foreign person.
Don't go spreadin' hate, Plummet.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i learn quailo form balls of fury cuz m that kinda smart
i learn quailo form balls of fury cuz m that kinda smart
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm going to sidestep this white devil stuff to jump up and down while clapping. I ate at Dot Wo all the time in high school. I've spent a good deal of time in Beijing lately, and I can say the Dot Wo menu is fairly accurate, if a little limited. Pei Wei is not at all Chinese.
Next time you are at Dot Wo, ask them to get you my special chair. Doing so gets you a 10% discount and trouble walking properly.
I'm going to sidestep this white devil stuff to jump up and down while clapping. I ate at Dot Wo all the time in high school. I've spent a good deal of time in Beijing lately, and I can say the Dot Wo menu is fairly accurate, if a little limited. Pei Wei is not at all Chinese.
Next time you are at Dot Wo, ask them to get you my special chair. Doing so gets you a 10% discount and trouble walking properly.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
You mean the chair that...{i]boned you[/i]?
You mean the chair that...{i]boned you[/i]?
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Up your ass, brackets. Up you ass to hell .
Up your ass, brackets. Up you ass to hell .
smilebuddha
+0 -0
This thread is rapidly falling apart, so I'll note this and take off.
This thread is rapidly falling apart, so I'll note this and take off.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Seriously man. I was just saying something pleasant about watching tekende eat and recommending he be sodomized with a chair I have, and then you come in and make it all weird.
Seriously man. I was just saying something pleasant about watching tekende eat and recommending he be sodomized with a chair I have, and then you come in and make it all weird.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
He's right, though.
He's right, though.
mawk
+0 -0
man, glass. ha ha. you have no idea.
man, glass. ha ha. you have no idea.
odog
+0 -0
I smell a wonderful story arc. Just when I started to think Chris Onstad was entering a cycle of repetition that any artist can fall into, he comes up with a new twist on the whole Whole Foods thing. I'm glad it's not just Ray being a badass about being a businessman and Ray being snarky about having bad ideas.
Good for you Onstad.
I smell a wonderful story arc. Just when I started to think Chris Onstad was entering a cycle of repetition that any artist can fall into, he comes up with a new twist on the whole Whole Foods thing. I'm glad it's not just Ray being a badass about being a businessman and Ray being snarky about having bad ideas.
Good for you Onstad.
aristagoras
+0 -0
"It's where I win. Watch." made me laugh out loud, which few comic strips out there have made me do of late (except Tony Millionaire, he always makes me laugh out loud and then feel awful for doing so).
"It's where I win. Watch." made me laugh out loud, which few comic strips out there have made me do of late (except Tony Millionaire, he always makes me laugh out loud and then feel awful for doing so).
nice-on-water
+1 -0
UNCLE GABBY LOOK DOOK DOOK DOOK BLAUAHGUAHAGH SLICE SPURT SPURT WAAAAUUGGGH ::pun::
Always works for me.
UNCLE GABBY LOOK DOOK DOOK DOOK BLAUAHGUAHAGH SLICE SPURT SPURT WAAAAUUGGGH ::pun::
Always works for me.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I forgot AMAZING ART, it goes between the slice and the spurt.
I forgot AMAZING ART, it goes between the slice and the spurt.
plummet
+0 -0
* dook dook dook *
I think it is rad to have alcoholism
* dook dook dook *
I think it is rad to have alcoholism
miku224
+0 -0
DOOK might be my favorite sound effect. Its use establishes what kind of a comic it's going to be very very quickly.
DOOK might be my favorite sound effect. Its use establishes what kind of a comic it's going to be very very quickly.
sprkfv39
+0 -0
Between the slice and the spurt falls the AMAZING ART.
Between the slice and the spurt falls the AMAZING ART.
un_malpaso
+0 -0
I agree, but I hate the smell of arc in the morning. It smells like... closure.
I agree, but I hate the smell of arc in the morning. It smells like... closure.
aristagoras
+0 -0
Good stuff overall. Panel Eight should be a tattoo.
Good stuff overall. Panel Eight should be a tattoo.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Wow. That would be extremely creepy to anyone who did not read Achewood. That would be horrible. Imagine seeing that picture engraved on someones flesh and having no idea what it meant. Your reptile brain would be screaming at you to smash the tattooee in the face with a pint pot and run for the hills. Other poor Achewood tattoo choices would be Teodor in a black unitard massaging his 'goooood tiiiiits' and Ray rising out of the trash can with his bad tasting cookies. On the other hand, Pat's rock hard cat cock would probably be quite forgivable, thanks to its exuberant and joyful rudeness.
Wow. That would be extremely creepy to anyone who did not read Achewood. That would be horrible. Imagine seeing that picture engraved on someones flesh and having no idea what it meant. Your reptile brain would be screaming at you to smash the tattooee in the face with a pint pot and run for the hills. Other poor Achewood tattoo choices would be Teodor in a black unitard massaging his 'goooood tiiiiits' and Ray rising out of the trash can with his bad tasting cookies. On the other hand, Pat's rock hard cat cock would probably be quite forgivable, thanks to its exuberant and joyful rudeness.
mawk
+0 -0
as a general rule, I do not think tattoos should contain speech bubbles.
as a general rule, I do not think tattoos should contain speech bubbles.
plummet
+1 -0
I have a tattoo on the tip of my penis, near the urethra. It is a speech-bubble saying, Put me in your Vagina!
I have a tattoo on the tip of my penis, near the urethra. It is a speech-bubble saying, Put me in your Vagina!
wazza
+0 -0
totally not worth the agony of having a needle repeatedly driven into your glans.
totally not worth the agony of having a needle repeatedly driven into your glans.
plummet
+2 -0
by agony you mean sweet ecstasy I presume
by agony you mean sweet ecstasy I presume
mockereo
+0 -0
i gave this a chubby because the thought of it GAVE me a chubby!
i gave this a chubby because the thought of it GAVE me a chubby!
mr-siegal
+0 -0
True story:
At a pharmacy I worked in a young man asked an assistant for something for a mouth ulcer. The assistant asked to see the ulcer so that she could recommend an approppriate product. The patient initially refused, but on the assistant's insistance opened his mouth. Tattood on the inside of his bottom lip was "sit here."
True story:
At a pharmacy I worked in a young man asked an assistant for something for a mouth ulcer. The assistant asked to see the ulcer so that she could recommend an approppriate product. The patient initially refused, but on the assistant's insistance opened his mouth. Tattood on the inside of his bottom lip was "sit here."
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
well that's a novel pickup line
well that's a novel pickup line
un_malpaso
+0 -0
as a general rule, I do not like tattoos placed on any mucous membrane
as a general rule, I do not like tattoos placed on any mucous membrane
dusty
+0 -0
The The E-Onion Inspire, with Tony Robbins and Karl Lagerfeld. Yours for only $7 at Zales Foods.
The The E-Onion Inspire, with Tony Robbins and Karl Lagerfeld. Yours for only $7 at Zales Foods.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
karl legerfeld? i love.
karl legerfeld? i love.
xi
+0 -0
That's the cutest thiggity thing I ever did see.
That's the cutest thiggity thing I ever did see.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
PHILIPPE. IS. MASSIVE.
PHILIPPE. IS. MASSIVE.
sdskyle
+0 -0
I was kinda hopin Philippe would want to become a bike messenger and maybe he would get a fixie and some skinny jeans and wear glasses like Lyle...
I was kinda hopin Philippe would want to become a bike messenger and maybe he would get a fixie and some skinny jeans and wear glasses like Lyle...
plummet
+0 -0
NO. NO.
DO NOT SPOIL A BEAUTIFUL THING.
Onstad is on the fucking ball right now and I will not have you push him off
NO. NO.
DO NOT SPOIL A BEAUTIFUL THING.
Onstad is on the fucking ball right now and I will not have you push him off
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
fuck you, asshole! dont you EVER blaspheme on my assetbar again! i will cut you a third asshole.
fuck you, asshole! dont you EVER blaspheme on my assetbar again! i will cut you a third asshole.
neonfreon
+0 -0
good posts
good posts
granularsilica
+0 -0
Yes, it took days before a penis tattoo was mentioned.
Yes, it took days before a penis tattoo was mentioned.
neonfreon
+0 -0
good non posts
good non posts
mr_november
+0 -0
Phillipe's eyebrows in panel two clearly indicate he is ready for a situation involving onions in a sack.
Phillipe's eyebrows in panel two clearly indicate he is ready for a situation involving onions in a sack.
steerpike66
+0 -0
That look of incredulity in P2 is simply wonderful.
That look of incredulity in P2 is simply wonderful.
greenkoolayd
+4 -0
Garfield: First Blood
A tale of adventure, passion and romances!
It was a sunny day when Garfield was practicing Tai Chi on the roof top to harness his inner strength when he heard panic.
%u201CGarfield there is panic!%u201D Said Jon Arbuckle.
%u201CStop behaving like woman, Jon Arbuckle, what is the matter?%u201D Scolded Garfield as he put on his members only jacket.
%u201CNatalie Portman has been kidnapped you must come to the rescue!%u201D Said Jon Arbuckle with bone chilled eyes.
%u201CWHAT.?!%u201D Said Garfield as he bolted down the stairs with speed of a buffalo hoard.
Garfield switched on the tv showing Natalie Portman taken captive by vampire gangsters.
%u201CHelp Garfield, I am being taken captive by vampire gangsters!%u201D Cried Natalie Portman in hysterically.
%u201CHAHA Garfield!, We demand the blood Bank of USA give us 600 million gallons of blood, all in one hundred dollar bills or else we will be making evening breakfast out of Natalie Portman!%u201D Said the head Vampire Gangster with menace.
%u201CThe only deposit being made will be yours!%u201D Said Garfield with triumph, while shooting the tv in anger with his Desert Eagle.
%u201CGarfield what will you do?%u201D Asked John Arbuckle with audacity.
%u201CA man must do what he must do I will rescue Natalie Portman with these hands.%u201D Said Garfield fist clenched with justice.
Garfield strutted to his closet where he took his steak firing machine gun. He then hopped into his ALL AMERICAN four wheeled pick up truck.
%u201CGarfield let me come with you%u201D said John Arbuckle with intent.
%u201CNo you must stay, if I do not return in 24 hours call Tiger Woods.%u201D (Timely Joke)
%u201CThat was a timely joke Garfield.%u201D Said John Arbuckle, getting his joke.
Garfield than drove off into the thickness of summer night, determined to deliver justice through personal delivery.
When driving, Garfield turned on the radio for inspirational music.
%u201CHere is inspirational music for Garfield so that he may save the day again.%u201D Said the DJ.
The DJ started playing heart thumping rocking music to pump Garfield up.
%u201CThis is the beat to my groove.%u201D Said Garfield as he let himself get pumped.
As Garfield drove he saw a kid taking drugs and ruining his life. Garfield was enraged by the waste of the youth and ran him over with his pickup truck.
%u201CDrugs are for dopes go back to education!%u201D Said Garfield.
%u201CYes you are right Garfield.%u201D Said the kid who stopped doing drugs and went back to school for degrees.
Garfield than arrived at the vampire warehouse where the vampire gangsters held their Natalie Portman. Garfield notices there was a vampire gangster guarding the entrance.
%u201COh, no its Garfield I must make alarm!%u201D Said the vampire gangster.
%u201CThe only alarm you will be making is in hell!%u201D Said Garfield as he shot the vampire gangster in the chest with his Desert Eagle.
%u201CHA Garfield! Vampires can only be killed with steaks and suns!%u201D Said the vampire gangster.
%u201CFool my bullets are made of suns.%u201D Said Garfield with astrophysics.
%u201COh no I am dead!%u201D Said the stupid vampire gangster as he burned away.
Garfield lit a cigarette on the burning vampire and continued his mission. During exploration, Garfield encountered two other vampire gangsters guarding a room.
%u201CHere is a prime rib meal ready for serving!%u201D Quipped Garfield as he shot the vampire gangsters to their deaths with his steak gun.
Garfield than bursted into the room seeing the Natalie Portman captured with the menacing vampire gangster leader her at her side.
%u201CHaha Garfield you have entered a trap! Look around you are surrounded!%u201D Said the Vampire Gangster leader.
Garfield looked around him seeing vampire gangsters all around, closing in, when Garfield heard a familiar voice.
%u201CAMAKOOOO%u201D
John Arbuckle crashed in from the ceiling with his two golden revolvers daftly firing all around at the vampire gangsters.
%u201CThank you for my back up John Arbuckle, I was in a pit of danger%u201D Said Garfield with sternness.
%u201CNo problem, you have gotten me out of more jam than I can remember.%u201D Said John Arbuckle.
%u201CThe jig is up Vampire Gangster, time to face the face of justice.%u201D Said Garfield with justice coming out of his eyes and ears.
%u201COh no Garfield I have a terrible secret to unveil!%u201D Said the vampire gangster as he ripped off his face to reveal that he was really Odie!
%u201COdie how could you.%u201D Said John Arbuckle.
%u201CAfter all the adventure and bonding we shared you have fallen into criminality?%u201D Said Garfield with disappointment.
%u201CYes Garfield I am tired of you having all the glory and women. No more this time the glory and women will be my own!%u201D Said Odie with bitter triumph.
%u201COdie I thought you were a man but you are just a mutt.%u201D Said Garfield with sadness in his heart.
%u201CYou do not have the heart to kill me Garfield so say your good byes to your precious Natalie Portman!%u201D Leered Odie with evil.
%u201CYou are forgetting one thing Odie, you may have drawn first blood, but I always draw last.%u201D Said Garfield with cool style as he shot Odie with his Desert Eagle.
%u201CNOOOO%u201D Said Odie as he staggered and fell out of the window into acid.
Garfield went to the tied up Natalie Portman and freed her swiftly.
%u201CThank you Garfield I am forever in debt.%u201D Said Natalie Portman with love to Garfield.
%u201CNo problem babe I liked you in Space Balls, now lets dance a sexy tango.%u201D Said Garfield.
%u201CThank you for complimenting my acting.%u201D Said Natalie Portman with gratitude.
So after Garfields gracious compliments they both danced a sexy tango and got all tens.
%u201CWow Garfield you are great dancer are you doing anything tonight?%u201D Said Natalie Portman.
%u201CI am now, I will take to four stars restaurant called Olive Garden it has food of one of a kind taste.%u201D Said Garfield with class.
%u201CThat sounds delicious and romantic.%u201D Said Natalie Portman with romance on her mind.
With these words Garfield and Natalie Portman rode to Olive Garden on a black stallion with wind flowing through their hair.
The End??
Garfield: First Blood
A tale of adventure, passion and romances!
It was a sunny day when Garfield was practicing Tai Chi on the roof top to harness his inner strength when he heard panic.
%u201CGarfield there is panic!%u201D Said Jon Arbuckle.
%u201CStop behaving like woman, Jon Arbuckle, what is the matter?%u201D Scolded Garfield as he put on his members only jacket.
%u201CNatalie Portman has been kidnapped you must come to the rescue!%u201D Said Jon Arbuckle with bone chilled eyes.
%u201CWHAT.?!%u201D Said Garfield as he bolted down the stairs with speed of a buffalo hoard.
Garfield switched on the tv showing Natalie Portman taken captive by vampire gangsters.
%u201CHelp Garfield, I am being taken captive by vampire gangsters!%u201D Cried Natalie Portman in hysterically.
%u201CHAHA Garfield!, We demand the blood Bank of USA give us 600 million gallons of blood, all in one hundred dollar bills or else we will be making evening breakfast out of Natalie Portman!%u201D Said the head Vampire Gangster with menace.
%u201CThe only deposit being made will be yours!%u201D Said Garfield with triumph, while shooting the tv in anger with his Desert Eagle.
%u201CGarfield what will you do?%u201D Asked John Arbuckle with audacity.
%u201CA man must do what he must do I will rescue Natalie Portman with these hands.%u201D Said Garfield fist clenched with justice.
Garfield strutted to his closet where he took his steak firing machine gun. He then hopped into his ALL AMERICAN four wheeled pick up truck.
%u201CGarfield let me come with you%u201D said John Arbuckle with intent.
%u201CNo you must stay, if I do not return in 24 hours call Tiger Woods.%u201D (Timely Joke)
%u201CThat was a timely joke Garfield.%u201D Said John Arbuckle, getting his joke.
Garfield than drove off into the thickness of summer night, determined to deliver justice through personal delivery.
When driving, Garfield turned on the radio for inspirational music.
%u201CHere is inspirational music for Garfield so that he may save the day again.%u201D Said the DJ.
The DJ started playing heart thumping rocking music to pump Garfield up.
%u201CThis is the beat to my groove.%u201D Said Garfield as he let himself get pumped.
As Garfield drove he saw a kid taking drugs and ruining his life. Garfield was enraged by the waste of the youth and ran him over with his pickup truck.
%u201CDrugs are for dopes go back to education!%u201D Said Garfield.
%u201CYes you are right Garfield.%u201D Said the kid who stopped doing drugs and went back to school for degrees.
Garfield than arrived at the vampire warehouse where the vampire gangsters held their Natalie Portman. Garfield notices there was a vampire gangster guarding the entrance.
%u201COh, no its Garfield I must make alarm!%u201D Said the vampire gangster.
%u201CThe only alarm you will be making is in hell!%u201D Said Garfield as he shot the vampire gangster in the chest with his Desert Eagle.
%u201CHA Garfield! Vampires can only be killed with steaks and suns!%u201D Said the vampire gangster.
%u201CFool my bullets are made of suns.%u201D Said Garfield with astrophysics.
%u201COh no I am dead!%u201D Said the stupid vampire gangster as he burned away.
Garfield lit a cigarette on the burning vampire and continued his mission. During exploration, Garfield encountered two other vampire gangsters guarding a room.
%u201CHere is a prime rib meal ready for serving!%u201D Quipped Garfield as he shot the vampire gangsters to their deaths with his steak gun.
Garfield than bursted into the room seeing the Natalie Portman captured with the menacing vampire gangster leader her at her side.
%u201CHaha Garfield you have entered a trap! Look around you are surrounded!%u201D Said the Vampire Gangster leader.
Garfield looked around him seeing vampire gangsters all around, closing in, when Garfield heard a familiar voice.
%u201CAMAKOOOO%u201D
John Arbuckle crashed in from the ceiling with his two golden revolvers daftly firing all around at the vampire gangsters.
%u201CThank you for my back up John Arbuckle, I was in a pit of danger%u201D Said Garfield with sternness.
%u201CNo problem, you have gotten me out of more jam than I can remember.%u201D Said John Arbuckle.
%u201CThe jig is up Vampire Gangster, time to face the face of justice.%u201D Said Garfield with justice coming out of his eyes and ears.
%u201COh no Garfield I have a terrible secret to unveil!%u201D Said the vampire gangster as he ripped off his face to reveal that he was really Odie!
%u201COdie how could you.%u201D Said John Arbuckle.
%u201CAfter all the adventure and bonding we shared you have fallen into criminality?%u201D Said Garfield with disappointment.
%u201CYes Garfield I am tired of you having all the glory and women. No more this time the glory and women will be my own!%u201D Said Odie with bitter triumph.
%u201COdie I thought you were a man but you are just a mutt.%u201D Said Garfield with sadness in his heart.
%u201CYou do not have the heart to kill me Garfield so say your good byes to your precious Natalie Portman!%u201D Leered Odie with evil.
%u201CYou are forgetting one thing Odie, you may have drawn first blood, but I always draw last.%u201D Said Garfield with cool style as he shot Odie with his Desert Eagle.
%u201CNOOOO%u201D Said Odie as he staggered and fell out of the window into acid.
Garfield went to the tied up Natalie Portman and freed her swiftly.
%u201CThank you Garfield I am forever in debt.%u201D Said Natalie Portman with love to Garfield.
%u201CNo problem babe I liked you in Space Balls, now lets dance a sexy tango.%u201D Said Garfield.
%u201CThank you for complimenting my acting.%u201D Said Natalie Portman with gratitude.
So after Garfields gracious compliments they both danced a sexy tango and got all tens.
%u201CWow Garfield you are great dancer are you doing anything tonight?%u201D Said Natalie Portman.
%u201CI am now, I will take to four stars restaurant called Olive Garden it has food of one of a kind taste.%u201D Said Garfield with class.
%u201CThat sounds delicious and romantic.%u201D Said Natalie Portman with romance on her mind.
With these words Garfield and Natalie Portman rode to Olive Garden on a black stallion with wind flowing through their hair.
The End??
teezee
+1 -0
Never thought the day would come to use this, especially on assetbar, but:
%u201CTL;DNR%u201D
Never thought the day would come to use this, especially on assetbar, but:
%u201CTL;DNR%u201D
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Unfortunately I did. Yours was the better choice.
Unfortunately I did. Yours was the better choice.
ratacat
+0 -0
it was pretty good. it had the style of when Philipe writes on the typewriter
it was pretty good. it had the style of when Philipe writes on the typewriter
stereo
+0 -0
I think I liked this joke better when Hark! A Vagrant did it.
I think I liked this joke better when Hark! A Vagrant did it.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Go back to education. Oh, but it stings.
Go back to education. Oh, but it stings.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I won't lie. I loled.
I won't lie. I loled.
neonfreon
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
dongleaid
+1 -0
New here. Is there a posting protocol i should know about?
[IMGS OFF]
New here. Is there a posting protocol i should know about?
[IMGS OFF]
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
When in doubt, make an obscure cultural/intellectual reference.
When in doubt, make an obscure cultural/intellectual reference.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Play nice, don't start fights, learn the buzz words and key Achewood quotes, such as "Those knives!" and "You mean your mom that I boned?"
Play nice, don't start fights, learn the buzz words and key Achewood quotes, such as "Those knives!" and "You mean your mom that I boned?"
gladi8orrex
+5 -0
'those knifes?' wtf you twokin' abot yuou piecea shit. fuck you
678 999 8212 call me we set up a match. u bitchass prob wont call tho.
'those knifes?' wtf you twokin' abot yuou piecea shit. fuck you
678 999 8212 call me we set up a match. u bitchass prob wont call tho.
plummet
+0 -0
yoooooooo bro
you wan exchng no.s? we shoud party
yoooooooo bro
you wan exchng no.s? we shoud party
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
no doubt
no doubt
granularsilica
+0 -0
Umm, Okay, it's "these knives." (Shit)
Achewood - December 7, 2001
[[Téodor and Lyle are sitting on the sofa watching TV. Both are holding drinks and there is a bottle of liquor between them.]] / Téodor: Hey, that actually seems like a pretty good knife set. / Lyle: Wow, 10 knives for $19.99?!
Téodor: A 50-YEAR guarantee, dude! / Lyle: It FELL through that onion, man.
[[Both punching the air].] / Téodor: "These knives can do anything! Just ask...Baby Jesus!" / Lyle: Your basal nervous system wants these knives!
[[Both standing up with their arms in the air]] / Téodor: Oooh, these knives! / Lyle: I think my heart's explodin'! THESE KNIVES!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=12072001
Umm, Okay, it's "these knives." (Shit)
Achewood - December 7, 2001
[[Téodor and Lyle are sitting on the sofa watching TV. Both are holding drinks and there is a bottle of liquor between them.]] / Téodor: Hey, that actually seems like a pretty good knife set. / Lyle: Wow, 10 knives for $19.99?!
Téodor: A 50-YEAR guarantee, dude! / Lyle: It FELL through that onion, man.
[[Both punching the air].] / Téodor: "These knives can do anything! Just ask...Baby Jesus!" / Lyle: Your basal nervous system wants these knives!
[[Both standing up with their arms in the air]] / Téodor: Oooh, these knives! / Lyle: I think my heart's explodin'! THESE KNIVES!
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=12072001
soup_alex
+0 -0
It's okay, granularsilica. I just thought that you were aiming to get someone to reply with "you mean THESE KNIVES?! "
I would have, but I was afraid that gladi8orrex might beat me up.
It's okay, granularsilica. I just thought that you were aiming to get someone to reply with "you mean THESE KNIVES?! "
I would have, but I was afraid that gladi8orrex might beat me up.
granularsilica
+0 -0
His convoluted iconography can be intimidating, if you can read it.
His convoluted iconography can be intimidating, if you can read it.
mockereo
+0 -0
Like a boss
Like a boss
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Demonstrating the self-defense technique of Glad Maga which he teaches to the military of Bumfuqistan, our expert will leg-sweep the safety walker out from under this old person, causing him to fall and break his hip.
Demonstrating the self-defense technique of Glad Maga which he teaches to the military of Bumfuqistan, our expert will leg-sweep the safety walker out from under this old person, causing him to fall and break his hip.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Gladi will FUCK you the FUCK up you dumb JIVE ASS MOTHER FUCKER .
Gladi will FUCK you the FUCK up you dumb JIVE ASS MOTHER FUCKER .
granularsilica
+0 -0
Sounds painful.
Sounds painful.
plummet
+0 -0
Imitating Groucho Marx will net you a thousand chubbies
Imitating Groucho Marx will net you a thousand chubbies
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Imitating another member of the board with your avatar will make everyone feel slightly uncomfortable when reading or responding to your posts.
Imitating another member of the board with your avatar will make everyone feel slightly uncomfortable when reading or responding to your posts.
plummet
+0 -1
Posting lengthy sexual fanfiction will make everyone feel slightly uncomfortable about browsing Assetbar at work.
Posting lengthy sexual fanfiction will make everyone feel slightly uncomfortable about browsing Assetbar at work.
plummet
+0 -0
I will accept this lame in Dr. Manflesh's stead
he is currently engaged in anal plat
I will accept this lame in Dr. Manflesh's stead
he is currently engaged in anal plat
plummet
+0 -0
AHEM
play.
AHEM
play.
ratacat
+0 -0
anal play with a plat(a puss)
anal play with a plat(a puss)
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
oliver, right?
oliver, right?
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
And don't forget that you are limited in your posting until you view hundreds of strips.
There is a cheat , of course.
And don't forget that you are limited in your posting until you view hundreds of strips.
There is a cheat , of course.
sarahp
+0 -2
Creating one-off profiles of famous people as some kind of liberal-elite ironic/ topical "joke" will not be tolerated.
Cheat sheets okay.
Creating one-off profiles of famous people as some kind of liberal-elite ironic/ topical "joke" will not be tolerated.
Cheat sheets okay.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Someone didn't get the jooooooke.
Someone didn't get the jooooooke.
puguglypress
+1 -0
or it just suuuuuuuucked
or it just suuuuuuuucked
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Sarah is so mad.
Sarah is so mad.
falseprophet
+1 -0
I'm thinking of what Sarah said:
That love is watching someone die.
I'm thinking of what Sarah said:
That love is watching someone die.
hamscout
+1 -0
You'll all die in your cars, and why's it gotta be dark?
And you're all working in a submarine! (asshole)
You'll all die in your cars, and why's it gotta be dark?
And you're all working in a submarine! (asshole)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I feel like I'm gonna die and I hope I do.
Nothing truly bad has ever happened to me.
Baby I feel bad for feeling bad.
We will die in the streets or in cars or in beds.
It makes no difference.
Words and music by Panic! Attack!
I feel like I'm gonna die and I hope I do.
Nothing truly bad has ever happened to me.
Baby I feel bad for feeling bad.
We will die in the streets or in cars or in beds.
It makes no difference.
Words and music by Panic! Attack!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
What breed is that dog? It looks like it might be a staffie cross, except for the white colouration.
What breed is that dog? It looks like it might be a staffie cross, except for the white colouration.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Nonesense, my girl's mum has a staffie cross, and she's mostly white. Not that I know an awful lot about dog colours. Is white an unusual colour for a staffie?
Nonesense, my girl's mum has a staffie cross, and she's mostly white. Not that I know an awful lot about dog colours. Is white an unusual colour for a staffie?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I'd always thought that white staffordshires were very rare. I don't really have any evidence except observation to go on however, so I'm not going to take too solid a stand.
I'd always thought that white staffordshires were very rare. I don't really have any evidence except observation to go on however, so I'm not going to take too solid a stand.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Wait, your girl's mum is mostly white? Rad.
Wait, your girl's mum is mostly white? Rad.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Thanks, granularsilica. Yes, white is right.
Thanks, granularsilica. Yes, white is right.
howl
+0 -0
I believe it's a default avatar, so she may not necessarily know.
I believe it's a default avatar, so she may not necessarily know.
wingspan
+2 -0
don't be AIU. (I think you are AIU).
don't be AIU. (I think you are AIU).
howl
+0 -0
Don't be mean, don't use texting abbreviations like LOL, don't spam or troll (unless you're a funny troll), and don't post disgusting pictures.
Don't be mean, don't use texting abbreviations like LOL, don't spam or troll (unless you're a funny troll), and don't post disgusting pictures.
plummet
+0 -0
you are not allowed to troll Ladies
doing so will result in the White Knights of Assetbardonia furiously laming you with their combined might
until you are SO lame
you are not allowed to troll Ladies
doing so will result in the White Knights of Assetbardonia furiously laming you with their combined might
until you are SO lame
catgrl131
+1 -0
And DON'T order the salmon. Just trust me on this one.
And DON'T order the salmon. Just trust me on this one.
soup_alex
+0 -0
DON'T forget to wash behind your ears.
DON'T forget to wash behind your ears.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
DON'T pay attention to the man behind the curtain.
DON'T pay attention to the man behind the curtain.
misteralways
+1 -0
Don't drink the water, man!
Also there is this protocol where we all love gladi8orrex even though he is like the weird foreign kid on your bus and nobody understands him but everybody loves him because he is awesome.
Don't drink the water, man!
Also there is this protocol where we all love gladi8orrex even though he is like the weird foreign kid on your bus and nobody understands him but everybody loves him because he is awesome.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No, the water is good.
No, the water is good.
catgrl131
+0 -0
You can get hella nice on that stuff though, so be careful.
You can get hella nice on that stuff though, so be careful.
puguglypress
+0 -0
The foreign kid who raps!
The foreign kid who raps!
puguglypress
+0 -0
Oh man this one time we were hotboxing and we made our Hungarian friend Zoltan rap about hotboxing. He wasn't familiar with the term, but he gathered what it meant from the context of us talking and busted out with the ILLEST rap about hotboxing!
It went on for like two minutes. We were driving in circles around a parking lot, and some girls were passing. As he saw them pass, he seamlessly integrated them into the rap, telling a story (in rhyme) about how they asked us if they could smoke pot with us, and he replied "only if it's a hotbox".
Oh man this one time we were hotboxing and we made our Hungarian friend Zoltan rap about hotboxing. He wasn't familiar with the term, but he gathered what it meant from the context of us talking and busted out with the ILLEST rap about hotboxing!
It went on for like two minutes. We were driving in circles around a parking lot, and some girls were passing. As he saw them pass, he seamlessly integrated them into the rap, telling a story (in rhyme) about how they asked us if they could smoke pot with us, and he replied "only if it's a hotbox".
neonfreon
+0 -0
[url=https://www.cs.purdue.edu/homes/anavabi/mp3/MC%20Plus %20-%20Algorhythms%20-%20T.O.M.E.K.mp3]BEST RAP BY FORIEGNER[/url]
[url=https://www.cs.purdue.edu/homes/anavabi/mp3/MC%20Plus %20-%20Algorhythms%20-%20T.O.M.E.K.mp3]BEST RAP BY FORIEGNER[/url]
ratacat
+0 -0
https://www.cs.purdue.edu/homes/anavabi/mp3/ this link will work better
https://www.cs.purdue.edu/homes/anavabi/mp3/ this link will work better
neonfreon
+0 -0
Thanks friend
Thanks friend
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT EVER be agreeable.
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT EVER be agreeable.
re5urgam
+2 -0
Don't be a cock to a stranger.
Don't be a cock to a stranger.
dybrar
+0 -0
Ever.
Is perhaps most basic idea.
Ever.
Is perhaps most basic idea.
deus
+0 -0
When Ray brings in the onion Phillipe shows that he is serious about earning 'em monies.
When Ray brings in the onion Phillipe shows that he is serious about earning 'em monies.
rasteroid
+0 -0
Philippe sensibly skeptical in panel two
observed how many times now ? did not yet read all other posts . spot reaction
~ much love all
Philippe sensibly skeptical in panel two
observed how many times now ? did not yet read all other posts . spot reaction
~ much love all
rasteroid
+0 -0
Philippe sensible skeptical in panel two.
did not read all other posts yet ~ much love all
Philippe sensible skeptical in panel two.
did not read all other posts yet ~ much love all
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Philippe sensible, sceptical in panel two.
I did; you haven't missed much.
Philippe sensible, sceptical in panel two.
I did; you haven't missed much.
plummet
+0 -0
About the biggest thing you missed was Gladi's Food and Asian facts. We were all greatly educated, and I suggest you start off your post readings with them
YOUR FRIEND
plummet
About the biggest thing you missed was Gladi's Food and Asian facts. We were all greatly educated, and I suggest you start off your post readings with them
YOUR FRIEND
plummet
ratacat
+0 -0
oh shit this is evil but I can't resist it
[IMGS OFF]
oh shit this is evil but I can't resist it
[IMGS OFF]
ratacat
+0 -0
damn it didn't work
damn it didn't work
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I feel relieved but wary.
I feel relieved but wary.
neonfreon
+0 -0
The ratacat is obviously out of the bag. He gets mega troll points for trying to LM everyone who visited the page, but he makes it obvious that those with the intent and knowledge (ratacat has one and part of the other) can leverage a vulnerability in assetbar that can cause your browser to automatically visit any site of his choosing.
[IMGS OFF]
It's called cross site request forgery is commonly used to accomplish stuff like identity theft.
The only protection against it i'm aware of is to set browser not to load images on this page until it's fixed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-site_request_forgery
Maybe additional posts should be frozen?
The ratacat is obviously out of the bag. He gets mega troll points for trying to LM everyone who visited the page, but he makes it obvious that those with the intent and knowledge (ratacat has one and part of the other) can leverage a vulnerability in assetbar that can cause your browser to automatically visit any site of his choosing.
[IMGS OFF]
It's called cross site request forgery is commonly used to accomplish stuff like identity theft.
The only protection against it i'm aware of is to set browser not to load images on this page until it's fixed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-site_request_forgery
Maybe additional posts should be frozen?
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Thanks for that; (s)he's already on my ignore list. Maybe those with the power could ban him/her?
btw LM? (I'm very old and forget most things)
Thanks for that; (s)he's already on my ignore list. Maybe those with the power could ban him/her?
btw LM? (I'm very old and forget most things)
neonfreon
+0 -0
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_site#Last_Measure
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_site#Last_Measure
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Thanks twice, because I'd not heard of that and therefore hadn't forgot it. (I think)
Thanks twice, because I'd not heard of that and therefore hadn't forgot it. (I think)
bengreens
+0 -0
It looked so nice out this morning, I decided to leave it out all day!
It looked so nice out this morning, I decided to leave it out all day!
plummet
+0 -0
Black power!
Black power!
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
wfl
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
neonfreon
+0 -0
Guys i was reading the assetbar ToS and found this:
Quote:
The fuck is this about? You guys know about "Secret Ink" ?
Guys i was reading the assetbar ToS and found this:
Quote:
For the case of "secret ink" and other permission based accesses, if you don't add a secret word or access restriction, then everyone will see the secret. We do not guarantee that your permission is not guessable or hackackable. Secret Ink is for fun stuff anyway, so don't make any secrets that might get you in real trouble if they do become discovered.
The fuck is this about? You guys know about "Secret Ink" ?
neonfreon
+0 -0
Check it out:
[IMGS OFF]
Check it out:
[IMGS OFF]
neonfreon
+0 -0
Now add the word "cocaine" to your profile somewhere; like in the "Hard Stuff" section.
you'll see a different image.
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/secret_ink
This actually looks kinda neat, have fun!
Now add the word "cocaine" to your profile somewhere; like in the "Hard Stuff" section.
you'll see a different image.
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/secret_ink
This actually looks kinda neat, have fun!
neonfreon
+0 -0
Do you think onstad reads this forum?
[IMGS OFF]
Do you think onstad reads this forum?
[IMGS OFF]
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I think it would take a will of iron to never have a look at what one's readers were saying. That being said, very few posts would offer any meaningful feedback on the strips, so if I had to guess I'd say he casts an eye over the comments every so often, without necessarily reading every single post. I don't know why I felt the need to hypothesize on this, given I have no relevant data to add.
I think it would take a will of iron to never have a look at what one's readers were saying. That being said, very few posts would offer any meaningful feedback on the strips, so if I had to guess I'd say he casts an eye over the comments every so often, without necessarily reading every single post. I don't know why I felt the need to hypothesize on this, given I have no relevant data to add.
dongleaid
+0 -0
Do you think he reads it wondering when he's going to post another strip?
Do you think he reads it wondering when he's going to post another strip?
granularsilica
+0 -0
He has actually posted a couple times.
He has actually posted a couple times.
puguglypress
+0 -0
Time... for a new strip... jesus fucking christ
(chorus)
to the tune of "looking for a new love" by jody watley
Time... for a new strip... jesus fucking christ
(chorus)
to the tune of "looking for a new love" by jody watley
plummet
+0 -0
It's nice to have old-school Assetbar back. Days and days of posting before a new strip, fuck yearrrr
It's nice to have old-school Assetbar back. Days and days of posting before a new strip, fuck yearrrr
granularsilica
+0 -0
It's kind of exhausting, though.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
It's kind of exhausting, though.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
puguglypress
+0 -0
I'd prefer old-school Achewood to old-school Assetbar tho
I'd prefer old-school Achewood to old-school Assetbar tho
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
fuckyear? sounds like a wonderful time during which to be alive.
fuckyear? sounds like a wonderful time during which to be alive.
plummet
+0 -0
For =RAY=, every year is Fuckyear
For =RAY=, every year is Fuckyear
expellens
+0 -0
when did the title of this strip...
nvm. I see I'm not the first to notice it. I was all excited too. It's been 10 days this strip's been up. Just figured it was about time.
when did the title of this strip...
nvm. I see I'm not the first to notice it. I was all excited too. It's been 10 days this strip's been up. Just figured it was about time.
dongleaid
+0 -0
Who else noticed?! It changed over night.
Who else noticed?! It changed over night.
granularsilica
+0 -0
We have officially reached the Donner Party status on Assetbar for this strip. We will not start chewing on each other to survive the extreme deprivation.
We have officially reached the Donner Party status on Assetbar for this strip. We will not start chewing on each other to survive the extreme deprivation.
dongleaid
+1 -0
Lets all post really shitty fanfic
[IMGS OFF]
Lets all post really shitty fanfic
[IMGS OFF]
whiggles
+0 -0
i can finally ironically post my erotic wedding night narrative of roast beef and molly. twist ending? philippe is standing on it....
i can finally ironically post my erotic wedding night narrative of roast beef and molly. twist ending? philippe is standing on it....
edwardstark
+0 -0
rb% was here
rb% was here
lolsworth
+0 -0
rb can go fuck himself
rb can go fuck himself
Wow!
Philippe is so adorable sometimes.
Scratch that, Philippe is so adorable all the time .
With the glasses on, Philippe bears an uncanny (i.e., worrisome) resemblance to Paul Shaffer.
[IMGS OFF]
worrisome, indeed.
https://www.cwgp.org/gurewitch_and_onstad.php
appears to be in Rochester New York
Nick Gurewitch and Chris Onstad Wednesday, February 10, 2010
whoever wrote the copy for that really fucking sucks
I didn't know about this, as I feel twitter is a giant pile of shit, but for those interested (who already probably know):
achewood twitter - you can read Onstad's 140 character stream of consciousness.
Oh my goodness, the raised eyebrow in panel two. Sometimes, the machinations of Ray confuse even the five-year-old otter.
Philippe isn't confused. He just knows that if Ray is asking him to do something it must be super important. That is Philippe's concentrating face.
He is just the cutest little Ray.
[IMGS OFF] [IMGS OFF]
A comment left by mockereo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jetbunny, ActualTaunt, OnePaperTiger, miaou, The_Clarkness)
If you look at it the right way it looks like one half of the cover of The Beatles "Let It Be"
That pose of Ray wasn't there! Are you seeing things?
How could you overlook that WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU
I could be wrong, but the Ray head looks like his raction to 'hot tranny mess'.
Holy shit ladies and gents, it is in fact his made Teodor look at a dick I drew and he was so pissed face.
[IMGS OFF]
Fixed that for you.
hell of awesome!
I don't know if I like where this is going...
[IMGS OFF]
Arghhhhhhh, why doesn't this have more chubbies?
Phillippe be straight-up mackin'.
mackin til her eyes roll back in her head! barbed wire arm tattoo!
I love where this is going.
You had me at "Herro!"
im going to steal this.
BRILLIANT! BEYOND DESCRIPTION!
ARE YOU ONSTAD?!
Philippe is versatile . Also, she's so savvy she doesn't even need to look it up. Woo!
he's supposed to be wearing a thong.