postblank
+11 -2
I think it's fitting that pedophiles can only muster a buggering program in QBasic. All flashing text marquee HTML website and Thomas MySpace editor script.
I think it's fitting that pedophiles can only muster a buggering program in QBasic. All flashing text marquee HTML website and Thomas MySpace editor script.
postblank
+11 -0
Uh-oh looks like I offended some Thomas's MySpace editor fans.
Uh-oh looks like I offended some Thomas's MySpace editor fans.
slab64
+0 -0
I offered a Chubby to counteract. It's not that I liked your comment per se, just that I disagree that it deserves Lames.
See, my feelings above are marked NEU
I offered a Chubby to counteract. It's not that I liked your comment per se, just that I disagree that it deserves Lames.
See, my feelings above are marked NEU
benfromtenn
+6 -0
I just need to say that your avatar is freaking hypnotic. Here I am, happily scrolling along, then your avatar falls under my gaze and the next thing I know my eyes have dried out, I've peed my pants, and it's dark outside.
I just need to say that your avatar is freaking hypnotic. Here I am, happily scrolling along, then your avatar falls under my gaze and the next thing I know my eyes have dried out, I've peed my pants, and it's dark outside.
slab64
+0 -0
Sounds like similar phenomena to the ones I experience when playing F.E.A.R., but for totally different reasons.
Sounds like similar phenomena to the ones I experience when playing F.E.A.R., but for totally different reasons.
semiquaver
+0 -0
It's because you didn't seem to get the reference to old-school text adventure games. Definitely not worth laming you for, though.
It's because you didn't seem to get the reference to old-school text adventure games. Definitely not worth laming you for, though.
mr_lostman28
+11 -0
I would like to thank this strip for making me look up cumulonimbus...
>look east
A bear sprays you with a tall dense cloud conisting of pepper and other eye irritants
I would like to thank this strip for making me look up cumulonimbus...
>look east
A bear sprays you with a tall dense cloud conisting of pepper and other eye irritants
shenred
+52 -0
>attack bear
You are on the ground in the fetal position, weeping in a way that you hope will never be shown to the public. You are not in a position to fight. Also, he has a cricket bat.
>Wash eyes
Too late, you have been eaten by a grue.
GAME OVER
Your score: 3/153
>attack bear
You are on the ground in the fetal position, weeping in a way that you hope will never be shown to the public. You are not in a position to fight. Also, he has a cricket bat.
>Wash eyes
Too late, you have been eaten by a grue.
GAME OVER
Your score: 3/153
dangelder
+48 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
aperson
+1 -0
Nick Frost is great.
Nick Frost is great.
dangelder
+1 -0
Maybe Cornelius is going to throw Sade records at Nolan.
Maybe Cornelius is going to throw Sade records at Nolan.
heeeraldo
+1 -1
oh la LA?
oh la LA?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
oh GOD! so damn ADORABLE!
oh GOD! so damn ADORABLE!
sagoon
+0 -0
A comment left by sagoon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcowgill, lamelliform, mania3)
A comment left by sagoon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mcowgill, lamelliform, mania3)
boredom_man
+2 -0
Welcome to the legal age of majority, my friend. You'll be using the word "litigious" a lot .
Welcome to the legal age of majority, my friend. You'll be using the word "litigious" a lot .
nutmeg
+3 -0
i had to look up caveat, emptor, and pederast, the last of which i realized i already knew, but assumed what i'd always heard was "preder-ass," a scathing term for the predator who is also an ass. however, the first two words are still a mystery to me.
i had to look up caveat, emptor, and pederast, the last of which i realized i already knew, but assumed what i'd always heard was "preder-ass," a scathing term for the predator who is also an ass. however, the first two words are still a mystery to me.
boredom_man
+0 -0
It's a Latin phrase, and won't appear in dictionaries as English words but in Wikipedia as a phrase. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caveat_emptor
It's a Latin phrase, and won't appear in dictionaries as English words but in Wikipedia as a phrase. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caveat_emptor
lateadopter
+4 -1
In lieu of Wikipedia, one could also provide the English translation: "Buyer beware."
In lieu of Wikipedia, one could also provide the English translation: "Buyer beware."
flazisismuss
+13 -2
When I was a kid there was a place we went to learn shit like that. It was called school. Kids these days.
When I was a kid there was a place we went to learn shit like that. It was called school. Kids these days.
clever-nickname
+0 -0
A comment left by clever-nickname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamelliform, speedwell, spicyponyhead)
A comment left by clever-nickname was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamelliform, speedwell, spicyponyhead)
dropkickpikachu
+4 -0
Ain't nobody but the ancient Romans said their Vs like Ws. We do it Italian pronunciation style nowadays, fella. We don't take kindly to talkin' like dead people round these parts.
Ain't nobody but the ancient Romans said their Vs like Ws. We do it Italian pronunciation style nowadays, fella. We don't take kindly to talkin' like dead people round these parts.
odei
+0 -0
Actually working class people in 19th century England generally substituted Vs for Ws too. But they didn't know Latin.
Actually working class people in 19th century England generally substituted Vs for Ws too. But they didn't know Latin.
slab64
+0 -0
Also, the dudes from HIM talk like that as well. As I'm sure many of their fellow Nords do.
Also, the dudes from HIM talk like that as well. As I'm sure many of their fellow Nords do.
hearshot
+0 -0
Ain't nobody but the ancient Romans said their Vs like Ws.
Well, nobody but the ancient Romans and Pavel Chekov.
Ain't nobody but the ancient Romans said their Vs like Ws.
Well, nobody but the ancient Romans and Pavel Chekov.
anitrophaeron
+0 -0
A comment left by anitrophaeron was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Cyberbob, lamelliform, ohmygooses, gherittwhite)
A comment left by anitrophaeron was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Cyberbob, lamelliform, ohmygooses, gherittwhite)
sexualhomeboy
+4 -0
While the Declaration of Independence only explicates the right to pronounce lower-case f as s, the right to make other such letter substitutions is clearly implied.
While the Declaration of Independence only explicates the right to pronounce lower-case f as s, the right to make other such letter substitutions is clearly implied.
lateadopter
+5 -0
D'oh! vs. Vade.
D'oh! vs. Vade.
biff
+1 -0
Problem is, it's not a lower case f. It strongly resembles a lower case f, but the cross bar doesn't stick out on both sides.
Look more closer.
Problem is, it's not a lower case f. It strongly resembles a lower case f, but the cross bar doesn't stick out on both sides.
Look more closer.
sexualhomeboy
+3 -0
Yeah, I know it's not an f. But whenever I look at one of those old documents, I can't help but think that people in that time must have had some sort of weird bottom-lip lisp, which I enjoy recreating while reading aloud. A carryover from childhood, when I didn't know it was not an f.
Am I the only one?
Yeah, I know it's not an f. But whenever I look at one of those old documents, I can't help but think that people in that time must have had some sort of weird bottom-lip lisp, which I enjoy recreating while reading aloud. A carryover from childhood, when I didn't know it was not an f.
Am I the only one?
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
it muft sizzle
No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
it muft sizzle
No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Actually, both of those are totally wrong.
Actually, both of those are totally wrong.
belgand
+0 -0
Why am I the only one who doesn't have to look up these words and also uses them commonly in casual conversation?
Why am I the only one who doesn't have to look up these words and also uses them commonly in casual conversation?
ashoykh
+5 -0
achewood: my cartoon and my word-of-the-day in one.
achewood: my cartoon and my word-of-the-day in one.
boscostacy
+8 -0
Emptorlingus: Buying things with the mouth.
Emptorlingus: Buying things with the mouth.
sexualhomeboy
+0 -0
Caveatlingus: morning breath.
Caveatlingus: morning breath.
lamelliform
+4 -0
Carp diem: fish of the day.
Carp diem: fish of the day.
morelaak
+20 -0
oh wow, it's been forever since Zork and the other text-based games of olden time.....
>look east
there is a child.
>bugger the child
you cannot bugger the child.
>gently bugger the child
you cannot gently bugger the child.
>twiddle the child
you cannot twiddle the child.
>cavort merrily with the child
you cavort merrily with the child. that child is named philippe, and he is five.
oh wow, it's been forever since Zork and the other text-based games of olden time.....
>look east
there is a child.
>bugger the child
you cannot bugger the child.
>gently bugger the child
you cannot gently bugger the child.
>twiddle the child
you cannot twiddle the child.
>cavort merrily with the child
you cavort merrily with the child. that child is named philippe, and he is five.
jrpigman
+3 -0
You are likely to be buggered by a grue.
That's not about this strip, I'm just saying.
You are likely to be buggered by a grue.
That's not about this strip, I'm just saying.
morelaak
+0 -0
alright. that's it. i commission someone from the achewood community to create an Achewood Text-Based Adventure. Do it, and you, sir, win the internet.
alright. that's it. i commission someone from the achewood community to create an Achewood Text-Based Adventure. Do it, and you, sir, win the internet.
flash1087
+1 -0
Damn it, I used to have a "Make Your Own Text Adventure" program saved...somewhere. Lemme see what I can do.
Damn it, I used to have a "Make Your Own Text Adventure" program saved...somewhere. Lemme see what I can do.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
3 months have passed. You were supposed to have that on my desk by Monday morning.
Did you get that thing I sent you?
3 months have passed. You were supposed to have that on my desk by Monday morning.
Did you get that thing I sent you?
dropkickpikachu
+8 -1
You didn't know what a cumulonimbus was? Did you ever go to primary school? Is perhaps most basic meteorological idea.
You didn't know what a cumulonimbus was? Did you ever go to primary school? Is perhaps most basic meteorological idea.
tenthman
+20 -0
Cornelius is going to go all Chris Hansen on Nolan. Luring him over, asking him why he came, reading awkward excerpts from his "e-buggery" aloud. But then, he will do what Hansen never had the sand to do, make the pervert kiss the cricket bat.
Cornelius is going to go all Chris Hansen on Nolan. Luring him over, asking him why he came, reading awkward excerpts from his "e-buggery" aloud. But then, he will do what Hansen never had the sand to do, make the pervert kiss the cricket bat.
twotonturkey
+2 -0
He already got all Ian Faith on the computer, I can only imagine what Nolan's head is going to look like if they ever meet.
He already got all Ian Faith on the computer, I can only imagine what Nolan's head is going to look like if they ever meet.
misterkoss
+0 -0
I'm sure it will look like something one would find on the sort of websites Nolan tends to visit.
I'm sure it will look like something one would find on the sort of websites Nolan tends to visit.
dougthehead
+10 -0
Leave it to Nolan to get turned on by his own head injury.
Leave it to Nolan to get turned on by his own head injury.
slab64
+0 -0
It will look like a stillborn tiger fetus.
It will look like a stillborn tiger fetus.
the_prophet
+1 -1
Give Connie a break, the man's (bear's) heart is in the right place.
That and one hell of a swing, hell fuck you up.
Give Connie a break, the man's (bear's) heart is in the right place.
That and one hell of a swing, hell fuck you up.
robotman
+0 -1
This is probably my favorite Achewood strip in the last year. Today should be a new holiday.
This is probably my favorite Achewood strip in the last year. Today should be a new holiday.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Yeah, this would probably make my "10 Best of 2007", too. I can't think of too many strips where every panel made me bray like a donkey.
Yeah, this would probably make my "10 Best of 2007", too. I can't think of too many strips where every panel made me bray like a donkey.
madnes
+0 -0
Wholeheartedly agree. I had to walk away from my computer upwards of two times to avoid laughing raucously (there are Serious Men nearby and my joy would not be well received)
Wholeheartedly agree. I had to walk away from my computer upwards of two times to avoid laughing raucously (there are Serious Men nearby and my joy would not be well received)
heyheyheyhey
+4 -0
They are working on the buggery problem for web 3.0
They are working on the buggery problem for web 3.0
mrcool1122
+0 -0
Those stupid text games, the objectives were never clear.
Those stupid text games, the objectives were never clear.
eatmorekix
+10 -0
and the activities were so poorly conveyed
and the activities were so poorly conveyed
usversusthem
+26 -0
And the exits were north, south, and Dennis.
And the exits were north, south, and Dennis.
phy
+0 -0
Chubbied for not going for the more obvious reference.
Chubbied for not going for the more obvious reference.
tibcoolbreeze
+3 -0
I must be made aware of the more obvious reference, because this is the only decent one that comes to mind.
I must be made aware of the more obvious reference, because this is the only decent one that comes to mind.
phy
+0 -0
Something like, "And you could never get ye flask"?
Something like, "And you could never get ye flask"?
atticusonline
+0 -0
There really should be more Thy Dungeonmaster references in life.
There really should be more Thy Dungeonmaster references in life.
johnnyc
+0 -0
A comment left by johnnyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, lawbot, HonestTom, robotman, lamelliform, Miku224, peterjoel, Orf)
A comment left by johnnyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, lawbot, HonestTom, robotman, lamelliform, Miku224, peterjoel, Orf)
nelsonater
+1 -0
I'm glad that I'm not the only person who feels the urge to enshroud anything that goes bump in the night with a cumulonimbus of pepper spray. In fact, I recently purchased the "Family Size" of pepper spray from Sam's Club (for those of you who don't know what a Sam's Club is, think Wal-Mart, but everything is in bulk packaging).
I believe that the "Family Size" is not just a description of who can use it, but also what it can be used on. I no longer fear a pack of rabid wolves/bears/leprechauns whilst sleeping.
I'm glad that I'm not the only person who feels the urge to enshroud anything that goes bump in the night with a cumulonimbus of pepper spray. In fact, I recently purchased the "Family Size" of pepper spray from Sam's Club (for those of you who don't know what a Sam's Club is, think Wal-Mart, but everything is in bulk packaging).
I believe that the "Family Size" is not just a description of who can use it, but also what it can be used on. I no longer fear a pack of rabid wolves/bears/leprechauns whilst sleeping.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I thought everything at Wal-Mart was already in bulk packaging. That's just me, I guess. I went overseas for a few years, and when I came back I had changed from a Large to a Medium or a Small, even though I gained weight in the meantime. Maybe I got denser.
I thought everything at Wal-Mart was already in bulk packaging. That's just me, I guess. I went overseas for a few years, and when I came back I had changed from a Large to a Medium or a Small, even though I gained weight in the meantime. Maybe I got denser.
madnes
+0 -0
Nifty! You can use the empty container as a baton :)
Nifty! You can use the empty container as a baton :)
hellweek
+5 -0
Panel 4 makes me feel like I'm reading Jerkcity for a moment.
YOU ARE IN A ROOM FILLED WITH RERUNS, EXITS ARE J)ERK AND L)ICK AND B)UGGERY
I'D LIKE TO GO SOUTHWEST (SW)
Panel 4 makes me feel like I'm reading Jerkcity for a moment.
YOU ARE IN A ROOM FILLED WITH RERUNS, EXITS ARE J)ERK AND L)ICK AND B)UGGERY
I'D LIKE TO GO SOUTHWEST (SW)
zem
+1 -0
GO PIT
GO PIT
cuneocapo
+0 -0
Oh son of a-- not a cumulonimbus! Usually it's just a cumulus humilis with the average rogue and scallywag.
Yeah I wiki'd cloud types, what of it?
Oh son of a-- not a cumulonimbus! Usually it's just a cumulus humilis with the average rogue and scallywag.
Yeah I wiki'd cloud types, what of it?
ohmygooses
+3 -1
i think we all fear the day ">bugger that child" becomes an input command
i think we all fear the day ">bugger that child" becomes an input command
lateadopter
+0 -0
Nolan may be a cartoon cat, but he is truly from the Internet. There are some who do not exactly fear that day, unfortunately.
Nolan may be a cartoon cat, but he is truly from the Internet. There are some who do not exactly fear that day, unfortunately.
sizone
+0 -0
T's assertion in the last panel strikes me as oddly portentous. A liberal interpretation of a trade description act could easily find Potty Pals in the wrong.
T's assertion in the last panel strikes me as oddly portentous. A liberal interpretation of a trade description act could easily find Potty Pals in the wrong.
bourbonsamurai
+2 -0
Teodor is WAY too nonchalant about Phillipe's potential e-buggery.
Teodor is WAY too nonchalant about Phillipe's potential e-buggery.
liquid_banjo
+1 -0
I don't think I've ever seen the word bugger and it's variants used so much in one place before.
I don't think I've ever seen the word bugger and it's variants used so much in one place before.
shoinan
+1 -0
Truly you have not yet lived.
Truly you have not yet lived.
honesttom
+1 -0
I've seen buggery and all its variants in one place before.
I've seen buggery and all its variants in one place before.
lawbot
+2 -1
I am disappointed with this strip. Cornelius' badassery has not born fruits.
I am disappointed with this strip. Cornelius' badassery has not born fruits.
nullzero
+1 -1
For some odd reason, I picture Nolan showing up to go to dinner with Philippe...but being intercepted by Pat and Rod Huggins at the door. Then, Nolan would be used as a plot device to take Rod Huggins out of the storyline for a indeterminable period of time. Or, maybe he'll meet Lyle instead and feel that he had been played a fool
For some odd reason, I picture Nolan showing up to go to dinner with Philippe...but being intercepted by Pat and Rod Huggins at the door. Then, Nolan would be used as a plot device to take Rod Huggins out of the storyline for a indeterminable period of time. Or, maybe he'll meet Lyle instead and feel that he had been played a fool
achilleselbow
+9 -0
You (and a ton of other people it seems) forget that Nolan has not yet been proven to be a pedophile and has no idea who Philippe is or that he is a child. He simply wanted to dine with whoever came up with the ingenious concept of Potty Pals.
You (and a ton of other people it seems) forget that Nolan has not yet been proven to be a pedophile and has no idea who Philippe is or that he is a child. He simply wanted to dine with whoever came up with the ingenious concept of Potty Pals.
bourbonsamurai
+1 -0
Nolan is merely professionally weird. He is, as I recall, one of three weirdo academics who loved Pat's music and sani-taco, although I am too lazy to provide a link to verify this.
Nolan is merely professionally weird. He is, as I recall, one of three weirdo academics who loved Pat's music and sani-taco, although I am too lazy to provide a link to verify this.
harveymersault
+0 -0
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua5w7swV
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua5w7swV
wittyname
+0 -0
And he's also not gay (or hasn't been explicitly said), so I have no idea where the Pat and Rod Huggins reference came from.
And he's also not gay (or hasn't been explicitly said), so I have no idea where the Pat and Rod Huggins reference came from.
sexualhomeboy
+0 -0
I'm of the opinion that Nolan is probably burning the freak candle from both ends. (Get it?)
I'm of the opinion that Nolan is probably burning the freak candle from both ends. (Get it?)
fosters
+0 -0
The freak candle is a shitandle.
OHHHHH SHIIIIIIITTTT
The freak candle is a shitandle.
OHHHHH SHIIIIIIITTTT
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
no rest for the wick...ed
no rest for the wick...ed
clockworkorange
+0 -1
This strip is a work of art.
This strip is a work of art.
ceokasen
+0 -0
A comment left by ceokasen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, buttersafe, nbray)
A comment left by ceokasen was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, buttersafe, nbray)
riazm
+9 -0
We all got buggered by javascript Onstad.
but some of us liked it
We all got buggered by javascript Onstad.
but some of us liked it
jackparsons
+0 -0
I avoided it until 7 months ago. I did not enjoy it.
I avoided it until 7 months ago. I did not enjoy it.
el_connor
+0 -0
The last two are the some of the best strips, simply because Connie is a raw badass with the cricket bat.
The last two are the some of the best strips, simply because Connie is a raw badass with the cricket bat.
endoftheworld
+0 -0
A comment left by endoftheworld was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ishuta, phthoggos, Pangolin)
A comment left by endoftheworld was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ishuta, phthoggos, Pangolin)
dougthehead
+3 -0
This alt text needs to be made into a T-shirt. And panel four is perhaps the funniest thing i've ever read.
This alt text needs to be made into a T-shirt. And panel four is perhaps the funniest thing i've ever read.
phthoggos
+0 -0
Panel four is going to be a T-shirt and that makes me sad.
Panel four is going to be a T-shirt and that makes me sad.
relaxing
+0 -0
5 for the alt text.
5 for the alt text.
el_connor
+0 -0
Nolan in the Sanitaco strip: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=07262004
Nolan in the Sanitaco strip: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=07262004
clembot
+1 -0
Nolan at the melodic fol rock concert:
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=10062003
Nolan at the melodic fol rock concert:
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=10062003
takepills
+2 -0
whoa wtf did i just fail the SAT's?
whoa wtf did i just fail the SAT's?
lateadopter
+0 -0
Depends. Did you take them before or after you read this strip? And if you took the computer-based version, was it good for you?
Depends. Did you take them before or after you read this strip? And if you took the computer-based version, was it good for you?
mrclarinet
+4 -0
Cornelius is British. British people are extremely paranoid about imaginary paedophiles, to the point of inflicting violence on non-connected places and people in an effort to 'defend their children'.
Cornelius is British. British people are extremely paranoid about imaginary paedophiles, to the point of inflicting violence on non-connected places and people in an effort to 'defend their children'.
odei
+0 -0
We take our sensationalist media seriously!
We take our sensationalist media seriously!
honesttom
+0 -0
Every parent's worst nightmare! Hanging's too good for them! Kill these sick freaks! And so forth.
Every parent's worst nightmare! Hanging's too good for them! Kill these sick freaks! And so forth.
steerpike66
+0 -0
Listen to you; preaching your message of hate from your South London mosque. You monster.
Listen to you; preaching your message of hate from your South London mosque. You monster.
sageinarage
+15 -0
I did not have to look up a single word in this strip. Take THAT illiteracy!
I did not have to look up a single word in this strip. Take THAT illiteracy!
mortshire
+0 -0
A comment left by mortshire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by spesimen, gussiejives, clembot)
A comment left by mortshire was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by spesimen, gussiejives, clembot)
professorhazard
+6 -0
I read the Internet. For the articles.
I read the Internet. For the articles.
takepills
+0 -0
no i was trying to make a joke
but thats ok
D:
no i was trying to make a joke
but thats ok
D:
gussiejives
+0 -0
A comment left by gussiejives was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, mortshire, gbeaton, Orf)
A comment left by gussiejives was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, mortshire, gbeaton, Orf)
epicurus
+4 -0
Thy Internetman
Thy Internetman
jordstar
+0 -0
A comment left by jordstar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, estutius, Arbys, stormagnet)
A comment left by jordstar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, estutius, Arbys, stormagnet)
wittyname
+0 -1
This might have been funnier if it hadn't been after the definitions were posted.
This might have been funnier if it hadn't been after the definitions were posted.
ominousoat
+4 -0
There Is a Mailbox Here
>Open Mailbox
There is child pornography inside
>Open porn
You are now on "To Catch a Predator"
>Cry
There Is a Mailbox Here
>Open Mailbox
There is child pornography inside
>Open porn
You are now on "To Catch a Predator"
>Cry
tellumo
+2 -0
You are now the star of the wildly popular "Blubbering Pederast" video, available on Drudge Report.
You are now the star of the wildly popular "Blubbering Pederast" video, available on Drudge Report.
retinarow
+1 -0
You are in a prison cell. Bubba is about to bugger you.
>Escape.
You cannot escape. You get buggered.
You are in a prison cell. Bubba is about to bugger you.
>Escape.
You cannot escape. You get buggered.
rizzle
+0 -0
Congrats on the Times list, Onstad!
Congrats on the Times list, Onstad!
phy
+4 -0
A cloud of pepper spray so dense and violent it thunders, and rains out tabasco sauce.
A cloud of pepper spray so dense and violent it thunders, and rains out tabasco sauce.
nikopol
+0 -0
A comment left by nikopol was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, robotman, gherittwhite)
A comment left by nikopol was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, robotman, gherittwhite)
sortelli
+6 -2
No.
No.
coolbreeze3
+0 -0
I think that everyone will be buggered at least once in their lifetime.
I think that everyone will be buggered at least once in their lifetime.
drskradley
+1 -0
Metaphorically, everyone who has had a bank account/loan/credit card has been, yes. Unlubricated.
Metaphorically, everyone who has had a bank account/loan/credit card has been, yes. Unlubricated.
nikopol
+24 -0
> Look Meg White
I do not see that.
> Look MEG WHITE
I do not see that.
> LOOK MEG WHITE COME ON SHOW ME HER NAKED
I do not see that.
> Look Meg White
I do not see that.
> Look MEG WHITE
I do not see that.
> LOOK MEG WHITE COME ON SHOW ME HER NAKED
I do not see that.
taiiga
+0 -0
why did you hit the computer
buggering, that's why
why did you hit the computer
buggering, that's why
geekbonchic
+3 -0
Five bucks says that Cornelius carries around his pepper spray in an antique Moser Malachite Green Glass cologne bottle.
Five bucks says that Cornelius carries around his pepper spray in an antique Moser Malachite Green Glass cologne bottle.
blueloggy
+0 -0
A comment left by blueloggy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, lamelliform, clembot)
A comment left by blueloggy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, lamelliform, clembot)
blueloggy
+3 -1
You know, I didn't expect too many chubbies on my comment, considering how most of the commenters on here seem to be 19-year-old boys and I was going with a 70's-housewife-cum-stand-up-comedienne vibe. But 3 Lames (so far)? What's up, internet?
I think maybe I am too soft for the internet.
You know, I didn't expect too many chubbies on my comment, considering how most of the commenters on here seem to be 19-year-old boys and I was going with a 70's-housewife-cum-stand-up-comedienne vibe. But 3 Lames (so far)? What's up, internet?
I think maybe I am too soft for the internet.
boredom_man
+0 -0
What always astounds me about Acheword is how convincingly some of you play women & younger females. Good job, fellow 15-year-old suburban males! (And Pogo.)
What always astounds me about Acheword is how convincingly some of you play women & younger females. Good job, fellow 15-year-old suburban males! (And Pogo.)
puguglypress
+0 -0
Too soft for the internet? Sounds like my honeymoon!
Too soft for the internet? Sounds like my honeymoon!
belgand
+0 -0
I wish I had ever had a chance to enjoy a placid afternoon of unhurried buggery. Or even a brief, tense coffee break of frantic, unsatisfying buggery. Basically what I'm saying is that I need to get my bugger on.
Hopefully I'll be able to use Flash to do it in the future though I suspect this will not be satisfying either.
I wish I had ever had a chance to enjoy a placid afternoon of unhurried buggery. Or even a brief, tense coffee break of frantic, unsatisfying buggery. Basically what I'm saying is that I need to get my bugger on.
Hopefully I'll be able to use Flash to do it in the future though I suspect this will not be satisfying either.
doomsdaybadger
+0 -2
The bear knows all about buggering due to his prison days. He does not want the otter to have the same be-buggered fate
The bear knows all about buggering due to his prison days. He does not want the otter to have the same be-buggered fate
jewpacabra
+0 -1
You idiot Cornelius WAS NOT Buggered in prison okay
Maybe -- MAYBE -- in boarding school he AGREED to be buggered. For fun.
[i]No-one has dared penetrate Cornelius without his explicit consent [/i[
You idiot Cornelius WAS NOT Buggered in prison okay
Maybe -- MAYBE -- in boarding school he AGREED to be buggered. For fun.
[i]No-one has dared penetrate Cornelius without his explicit consent [/i[
jewpacabra
+0 -1
oh hell
oh hell
lateadopter
+5 -0
On the other hand, BBCode buggered you without even asking.
On the other hand, BBCode buggered you without even asking.
aaron_haynes
+1 -0
I just realized we haven't seen Ray or Beef in about 5 strips. It's kind of refreshing to do a storyline involving the other characters for once.
I just realized we haven't seen Ray or Beef in about 5 strips. It's kind of refreshing to do a storyline involving the other characters for once.
tyke
+1 -0
Do you know what they do to buggers in prison?
Do you know what they do to buggers in prison?
killingthejay
+0 -1
they bugger them, DUHHH.
they bugger them, DUHHH.
miseryandthesun
+19 -2
[IMGS OFF]
I'm so sorry.
[IMGS OFF]
I'm so sorry.
morelaak
+0 -0
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by cthulhu235, wittyname, gherittwhite)
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by cthulhu235, wittyname, gherittwhite)
cthulhu235
+3 -0
Come on, dude, that is Cornelius as Cloud from FF7
Come on, dude, that is Cornelius as Cloud from FF7
shenred
+0 -0
Crap, my Japanese video-game/hairstyle reader is out of whack; I also thought that was a Saiyan Connie, and I felt very sad inside until the correction.
Crap, my Japanese video-game/hairstyle reader is out of whack; I also thought that was a Saiyan Connie, and I felt very sad inside until the correction.
dovey
+0 -0
A comment left by dovey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by cthulhu235, Steerpike66, nutmeg, gherittwhite, Slab64)
A comment left by dovey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by cthulhu235, Steerpike66, nutmeg, gherittwhite, Slab64)
tombsgrave
+1 -0
Nerds care, that's who.
Nerds care, that's who.
philosophe
+1 -0
Shouldn't his bat be approximately 42 times larger than that if he's Cloud...?
Shouldn't his bat be approximately 42 times larger than that if he's Cloud...?
misterkoss
+1 -1
Ohh la LA!!!
Ohh la LA!!!
tombsgrave
+0 -0
Cornelius Strife: His cricket bat splits to form many, many other cricket bats.
Cornelius Strife: His cricket bat splits to form many, many other cricket bats.
tbtabby
+0 -0
Chubby to suss the Final Fantasy bashers.
Chubby to suss the Final Fantasy bashers.
phy
+1 -0
I guess now we know what happened to his beloved Iris Gambol.
I guess now we know what happened to his beloved Iris Gambol.
killerlimpet
+1 -0
FUCK SEPHIROTH
FUCK SEPHIROTH
lizard
+0 -0
Congrats to Chris on the TIME exposure - awesome. Great to see Achewood grow such a huge following over the years. I wish you many placid afternoons of unhurried whatever Mr Onstad.
Congrats to Chris on the TIME exposure - awesome. Great to see Achewood grow such a huge following over the years. I wish you many placid afternoons of unhurried whatever Mr Onstad.
mista_b
+2 -0
For a moment there I thought you had typed 'flaccid.'
Truely sorry about that.
For a moment there I thought you had typed 'flaccid.'
Truely sorry about that.
mira
+2 -0
Nobody deserves to be wished a flaccid afternoon.
Nobody deserves to be wished a flaccid afternoon.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Unless you are Gumby.
Unless you are Gumby.
kdarr
+0 -0
Those guys (Corny, T, Philippe) still live at Onstad's, right?
If so, he's gonna be pissed when he finds that Mr. Bear went all Sean of the Dead on his spare 'puter.
Those guys (Corny, T, Philippe) still live at Onstad's, right?
If so, he's gonna be pissed when he finds that Mr. Bear went all Sean of the Dead on his spare 'puter.
iandorrinson
+0 -0
holy cripes CONGRATS to Onstad the dude has arrived all the cows came home
holy cripes CONGRATS to Onstad the dude has arrived all the cows came home
stop
+1 -0
What's a pederast, Walter?
What's a pederast, Walter?
evolume
+1 -0
Shut the fuck up Donnie.
Shut the fuck up Donnie.
patware
+10 -0
Inspired by Cloudnelius.
[IMGS OFF]
Inspired by Cloudnelius.
[IMGS OFF]
grayestnova
+0 -0
If I were not so Friendly, I could give you a chubby for this wonderful wallpaper.
sorry ):
If I were not so Friendly, I could give you a chubby for this wonderful wallpaper.
sorry ):
shenred
+0 -0
This is truly a day of awesomeness; ran out too.
This is truly a day of awesomeness; ran out too.
boscostacy
+3 -0
TIME Magazine is linking to a comic wherein an enraged bear uses pederasty to justify the destruction of a personal computer.
TIME Magazine is linking to a comic wherein an enraged bear uses pederasty to justify the destruction of a personal computer.
steerpike66
+0 -0
If that's not assertive, violently intrusive, borderline neurotic parenting of the type so lacking in modern society, then I don't know what is.
If that's not assertive, violently intrusive, borderline neurotic parenting of the type so lacking in modern society, then I don't know what is.
jamers
+1 -0
Cornelius is all fury and thunder in the first panel. Ain't no quick communication contraption gonna stand up to him!
Cornelius is all fury and thunder in the first panel. Ain't no quick communication contraption gonna stand up to him!
patware
+0 -0
The true fury is in panel 2 and 3. That is the pose Cornelius has when standing atop a pile of flaming Internet routers.
The true fury is in panel 2 and 3. That is the pose Cornelius has when standing atop a pile of flaming Internet routers.
songbirdspectre
+1 -0
oh god. a classic. There is a child. That child is philippe. YeS.
oh god. a classic. There is a child. That child is philippe. YeS.
stayawaystars
+0 -1
Way to go, Cornelius, for wearing a bowtie around the house.
Way to go, Cornelius, for wearing a bowtie around the house.
atrusrand
+0 -0
A comment left by atrusrand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DrSkradley, gherittwhite, puguglypress)
A comment left by atrusrand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DrSkradley, gherittwhite, puguglypress)
drskradley
+0 -0
Haven't seen someone spell it "kricket" ever . It is not spelt that way.
Haven't seen someone spell it "kricket" ever . It is not spelt that way.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Absolutely fanstastic, so much i splurted cheap merlot at the screen!.
Absolutely fanstastic, so much i splurted cheap merlot at the screen!.
speth
+0 -0
ah... the joy of civil discussion
ah... the joy of civil discussion
redmange
+0 -0
Cornelius will not tolerate any child buggering within his immediate vicinity.
Cornelius will not tolerate any child buggering within his immediate vicinity.
lolsworth
+0 -0
BASIC-A child otter rape gags = surprisingly funny.
BASIC-A child otter rape gags = surprisingly funny.
lolsworth
+0 -0
Dammit I can never keep track of when I'm using HTML and when I'm using BBCode, stupid Internet
Dammit I can never keep track of when I'm using HTML and when I'm using BBCode, stupid Internet
puguglypress
+0 -0
actually it worked the way you wrote it
actually it worked the way you wrote it
colnelpanic
+0 -0
Man. The public library is NOT the place to read Achewood. I had to gag myself from laughing out loud. I really don't need the attention while reading this.
Man. The public library is NOT the place to read Achewood. I had to gag myself from laughing out loud. I really don't need the attention while reading this.
Old people are very technophobic. This strip proves it.
Cornelius has shown a weakness .
When you are the reigning (and only) champion of the Badass Games, you can flaunt your weaknesses in the open in order to allow everyone else to have the slimmest chance.
A comment left by aplomb was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, Overmedicated, robotman, lamelliform, dickie_roxx, ConnorMc, Sortelli, shoethings, Zem, charchar)
Cornelius is so badass he shows weakness by breaking something with a cricket bat.
it's classy, hey? a lesser man would have gone for the baseball bat. cliche, boring.
This comment would be about 25% more awesome if it was in Vlad. *TRANSLATE* "Is classy, no? Lesser man, he goes for baseball bat. Is cliche. Is boring."
this is true for everything
Is true for all thinks
chubby for being absolutely right.
A comment left by poing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Pseudochron, riotnrrd, lamelliform, atticusonline, mrdavid, charchar, sonicbiology)
A comment left by poing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, Pseudochron, lamelliform, atticusonline, mrdavid, charchar)
I disagree. Teodor's logic has a hole in it: Philippe does not need to leave the house to get buggered by Nolan.
USB Bugger?
Just download any old driver for it. They're all the same.
iBugger.
Buggr
Bugg It!
bu.gg.er
/b/ugger
No.
Teodor's logic also has another hole in it:
Cornelius didn't hit the computer; he hit the monitor.
And he also said fuck. Clearly, Teodor is off his game lately.
Could be a Mac.
Macs aren't real computers.
Nevertheless, a Mac could be pictured. Looks like it could be one from when they had CRT screens.
AMEN AND HALLELUJAH
Cornelius fears nothing. He was opposing the buggery of children, a problem that predates technology. The computer was merely the pathway that the alleged bugger was using to enter the household.
Sorry, that should be buggerer.
I've heard "bugger" used as a descriptive term for the buggerer, I think it's valid. Is "buggeree" a word yet?
it is now!
One can also use the past passive participle as a noun, as in "the buggered received no justice."
Not that I'm aware of, but "bugger" certainly is the correct, er, active noun, as in George V's reputed assertion "I won't knight buggers".
catomite is a useful phrase in times such as these
A comment left by spinynorman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sharksarecoming, robotman, lamelliform, odei, elliotj, ghoti, Fcannon, gardenhead_, Zem)
https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja
If you didn't get the robe and wizard hat..
That, Phillipe, is the saddest thing.
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mr_lostman28, sharksarecoming, robotman, lamelliform, farqussus, DrSkradley)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, c_dizzle, scrumpton, charchar)
Actually we've been laming "He is five" for months. Guess some dudes just didn't pay attention.
I dunno, maybe cause...we know he is five?
Try posting: "Philippe is an otter" and see what happens.
"Comment rated 1 Chubbies and 0 Lames"
Apparently not much.
Oh, come on. Like anyone else would have got extravagently lamed for this. It's inoffensive at worst. Lame Saint when he's being an unpardonable douchenozzle, by all means, but case-by-case, people, case-by-case.
Unpardonable douchenozzle is a fantastic descriptor, be it aimed at me or not.
See? He is being A Dude and not A Dick, and so I gave him a chubby. See how this works?
The word 'Dude' in Egyptian Arabic means camel dick.
I learned this from a fellow techie who was working with Cairo Support on a call, and happened to use it colloquially, thus terminating that call rather abruptly.
The joke was he implied that the Egyptian was a camel dick, except it was no joke.
The other joke being that lolsworth thinks Set Dude and Set Dick are mutually exclusive, but in fact, they are not.
I always thought that was apocryphal. Something thirteen year olds tell each other. "HAY ARE YOU A COOL DUDE? HURRR YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE A DICK HA HA HA"
It isn't that Cornelius is computer illiterate, so much that he's filled with too much fiery rage to care if what he says makes any sense.
He is beating that computer old skool.
he is DEFINITELY not afraid of the fucking POLICE right now.
I don't remember him drinking any Tequila...
THE MAN IS SO OLD SCHOOL HE HAS AN ADDING MACHINE THAT PRINTS ON PAPYRUS!
What does this strip mean for Achewood's overall continuity? Will the computer be making any future appearances?
This strip is a plot device to make way for the introduction of the Compy 386 next week.
Cornelius does what we all should have done a long time ago. The internet, truly, is a terrible thing.
without the internet how would you get to feel the way you do by posting here
I have ways. Don't judge me, man.
...also wik.
I would not call smashing a computer with a cricket bat to protect a child a weakness