fermata
+1 -2
I have no idea how to respond to this.
I have no idea how to respond to this.
vorrishnikov
+28 -0
Yet, you have.
Yet, you have.
spinynorman
+9 -0
This is not what I expected to see when I got up and sat down and squinted at my computer at 6:18 in the morning. This is not it.
I do not understand what is happening here, and for that I am glad.
This is not what I expected to see when I got up and sat down and squinted at my computer at 6:18 in the morning. This is not it.
I do not understand what is happening here, and for that I am glad.
soupkaty
+0 -0
Rock on central time zone?
Rock on central time zone?
spinynorman
+3 -0
I'm trying. Lord Almighty, I'm trying.
I'm trying. Lord Almighty, I'm trying.
wilto
+11 -0
Chubbied for fighting the Great Everyday Fight.
Chubbied for fighting the Great Everyday Fight.
spinynorman
+28 -0
Somewhere above the you the massive clockwork architecture twists and turns, enormous arches hurtling at massive speeds through nothing along lines we can barely discern. Gears in gears, ball bearings beside ball bearings, and boy, on early mornings like this you realize if we're anything we're just a grain of sand in the workings, some tiny shard of crystal or mineral jumping and jiving along the gearworks.
This is what the call The Grind. The real trick, though, is not getting Ground Up.
Somewhere above the you the massive clockwork architecture twists and turns, enormous arches hurtling at massive speeds through nothing along lines we can barely discern. Gears in gears, ball bearings beside ball bearings, and boy, on early mornings like this you realize if we're anything we're just a grain of sand in the workings, some tiny shard of crystal or mineral jumping and jiving along the gearworks.
This is what the call The Grind. The real trick, though, is not getting Ground Up.
jlynes
+0 -0
Someone get this man a job in the writing department.
Chubby for you, Norman. Or, do you prefer Spiny as a diminution?
Someone get this man a job in the writing department.
Chubby for you, Norman. Or, do you prefer Spiny as a diminution?
spinynorman
+1 -0
Eh, Norman's fine. When it comes to internet moniker's, a guy can't be all that picky.
Eh, Norman's fine. When it comes to internet moniker's, a guy can't be all that picky.
jeet
+1 -0
Not to mention prickly, Mr. Hedgehog.
Not to mention prickly, Mr. Hedgehog.
hbaranov
+0 -0
He could be an echidna
He could be an echidna
sirhan_duran
+2 -0
That's, uh, Marlon Brando from On The Waterfront, right? "I coulda been an echidna"
shit
That's, uh, Marlon Brando from On The Waterfront, right? "I coulda been an echidna"
shit
numberkillinger
+0 -0
I always want to pronounce it spinynor man. always.
i know that this is incorrect.
I always want to pronounce it spinynor man. always.
i know that this is incorrect.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I, too, suffered from this malady, before I began to associate him with the Monty Python character named "Spiny Norman", from which he takes his moniker.
I, too, suffered from this malady, before I began to associate him with the Monty Python character named "Spiny Norman", from which he takes his moniker.
professorhazard
+0 -0
No, wait, I misread. My initial mispronunskiation of it was "spin yor man".
No, wait, I misread. My initial mispronunskiation of it was "spin yor man".
saucy_jack
+0 -0
This sounds like the beginning of a Coen Brothers movie.
This sounds like the beginning of a Coen Brothers movie.
spinynorman
+0 -0
This could easily be brought back to another Texas conversation via Blood Simple or No Country .
This could easily be brought back to another Texas conversation via Blood Simple or No Country .
forshame
+2 -0
I see it as an account and interpretation of central themes of Fritz Lang's Metropolis. One that makes me satisfied in portions of my jowls.
I see it as an account and interpretation of central themes of Fritz Lang's Metropolis. One that makes me satisfied in portions of my jowls.
spinynorman
+3 -0
Your... your jowls?
Your... your jowls?
myrrdisparo
+1 -0
No, no, Norman, you're stealing tekende's jig. Bad Norman, no chubby for you.
Also, highly inebriated right now, pardon my spelling
No, no, Norman, you're stealing tekende's jig. Bad Norman, no chubby for you.
Also, highly inebriated right now, pardon my spelling
forshame
+3 -0
Just be glad that it did nothing for my Cloaca
Just be glad that it did nothing for my Cloaca
cromar
+0 -0
stop! everyone do da cloaca!
stop! everyone do da cloaca!
lawbot
+0 -0
There is absolutely NO doing cloaca on assetbar!
There is absolutely NO doing cloaca on assetbar!
jlynes
+0 -0
Assetbar has shit on enough of us in the past to deserve getting a little of its own.
All cloacas should be evacuated onto Assetbar immediately.
Assetbar has shit on enough of us in the past to deserve getting a little of its own.
All cloacas should be evacuated onto Assetbar immediately.
pogo
+0 -0
Of course, we later saw that the masses marching into the fiery jaws of Industrial Moloch were actually Jews, not workers.
Of course, we later saw that the masses marching into the fiery jaws of Industrial Moloch were actually Jews, not workers.
tekende
+0 -0
You're working some rough chuckles there.
You're working some rough chuckles there.
pogo
+5 -0
"Rough Chuckles" is my porno name.
"Rough Chuckles" is my porno name.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Goddamn it, this needs so many chubbies and I am unable to give it any
Goddamn it, this needs so many chubbies and I am unable to give it any
bixschmix
+1 -0
I got your back, Spiny...
I got your back, Spiny...
pogo
+0 -0
So happy to have finally hit a groove in this Assetbar banter.
So happy to have finally hit a groove in this Assetbar banter.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Chubbied again at your behest, kind sir.
Chubbied again at your behest, kind sir.
crumpetsandtea
+0 -0
Im using that and you cant stop me.
Im using that and you cant stop me.
julio
+0 -0
"great everyday fight". i love that. i'm using that.
"great everyday fight". i love that. i'm using that.
soupkaty
+0 -0
Through reading various comments you've made, I now have the following character analysis for you:
You, sir, are a card and a caution.
Through reading various comments you've made, I now have the following character analysis for you:
You, sir, are a card and a caution.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Well, a "cad" seems to imply that I dangerously steer my struggle buggy around the bend whilst topped up to the brim with GnT's with a stolen policeman's helmet riding beside me.
A caution, now... Not too sure of what that could mean. Regardless, I'll assume it's a compliment, not to mention a cool-sounding thing to say that I will probably steal in the near future.
Well, a "cad" seems to imply that I dangerously steer my struggle buggy around the bend whilst topped up to the brim with GnT's with a stolen policeman's helmet riding beside me.
A caution, now... Not too sure of what that could mean. Regardless, I'll assume it's a compliment, not to mention a cool-sounding thing to say that I will probably steal in the near future.
rowboat
+3 -0
Will Spiny realize his insignificant error.... before it's too late?!
Will Spiny realize his insignificant error.... before it's too late?!
professorhazard
+0 -0
My question: is the definition he gave for "cad" or "card"?
My question: is the definition he gave for "cad" or "card"?
spinynorman
+4 -0
OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT
OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT
hbaranov
+1 -1
*hands him the chocolate baton of unsurpassed embarrassment, and then denounces him both cad and card, until he too understands what it is like to be a cheese cake made of nothing but jam and the salty tears of a domestically abused housewife.
*hands him the chocolate baton of unsurpassed embarrassment, and then denounces him both cad and card, until he too understands what it is like to be a cheese cake made of nothing but jam and the salty tears of a domestically abused housewife.
phthoggos
+0 -0
A comment left by phthoggos was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, Deusoma, odei, SpinyNorman, electra310)
A comment left by phthoggos was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by orvel, Deusoma, odei, SpinyNorman, electra310)
odei
+1 -0
I gave you one, does that help?
I gave you one, does that help?
soupkaty
+0 -0
Totally compliment primed for theft.
Totally compliment primed for theft.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Awesome, that is my favorite kind of compliment, the theft-inducing kind
Awesome, that is my favorite kind of compliment, the theft-inducing kind
raynach
+53 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Ray's not alone in his shame.
[IMGS OFF]
Ray's not alone in his shame.
yingkaixing
+1 -0
You're right. I didn't even realize this is topical humor because I choose to read my Achewoods first thing after waking up in the morning.
You're right. I didn't even realize this is topical humor because I choose to read my Achewoods first thing after waking up in the morning.
straw
+0 -0
Topical!
Topical!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...boned?
...boned?
dr_strangeglove
+2 -0
Panel 2 set up some really ridiculous scenarios in my mind.
Panel 2 set up some really ridiculous scenarios in my mind.
gormster
+3 -0
I don't think they could have been more ridiculous than the one that happened.
I don't think they could have been more ridiculous than the one that happened.
vorrishnikov
+14 -0
Lesson: never again use the word "chick" to refer to a woman.
Lesson: never again use the word "chick" to refer to a woman.
usversusthem
+13 -0
That's right. It is, however, okay to say "What's up, chickens?" when you are 2 hours late to a blind date.
That's right. It is, however, okay to say "What's up, chickens?" when you are 2 hours late to a blind date.
professorhazard
+3 -1
Conversely, it is not okay to ask for an old couple's license and registration by calling them chicken-fuckers.
Conversely, it is not okay to ask for an old couple's license and registration by calling them chicken-fuckers.
numberkillinger
+1 -1
well meow i don't know when its appropriate to use the word chicken.
well meow i don't know when its appropriate to use the word chicken.
professorhazard
+2 -2
YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-EE-CO?!
YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-EE-CO?!
carten
+0 -1
I'm gonna pistol whip the next person who says "Shenanigans."
I'm gonna pistol whip the next person who says "Shenanigans."
professorhazard
+1 -1
Hey, Acheworld! What's the name of that restaurant you like, with the fried cheese, and the goofy shit on the walls?
Hey, Acheworld! What's the name of that restaurant you like, with the fried cheese, and the goofy shit on the walls?
donward2
+0 -1
You mean Shenanigans? You guys talking about Shenanigans?!
You mean Shenanigans? You guys talking about Shenanigans?!
professorhazard
+3 -0
Actually I was talking about Applebee's, but that place is cool, too.
Actually I was talking about Applebee's, but that place is cool, too.
donward2
+0 -0
Oh... I hope that my shame does not show through the website.
Oh... I hope that my shame does not show through the website.
numberkillinger
+0 -0
its delicious
its delicious
wotown
+0 -1
Smother me GRAVY, you big dirty man!
Smother me GRAVY, you big dirty man!
wotown
+0 -0
Boo. "Smother me IN gravy". I have brought shame to Johannes Chimpo.
Boo. "Smother me IN gravy". I have brought shame to Johannes Chimpo.
lexsenthur
+13 -0
Yar, smother me gravy.
Yar, smother me gravy.
straw
+0 -0
Avast, and tie a rocker chicken wing on the yard arm!
Avast, and tie a rocker chicken wing on the yard arm!
sortelli
+0 -0
It's hard to resist a command like that.
:(
It's hard to resist a command like that.
:(
dtuba
+0 -0
totes my goats
totes my goats
joebot
+1 -0
Squeeze me macaroni?
Squeeze me macaroni?
farqussus
+0 -0
Slop your face with my bologna.
Slop your face with my bologna.
morypcaina
+1 -0
I think you can hear some of the frat boys at the end of that song saying "GOOOOOOOOOOOD TI-I-I-I-ITS!"
I think you can hear some of the frat boys at the end of that song saying "GOOOOOOOOOOOD TI-I-I-I-ITS!"
nickgranger
+0 -0
A comment left by nickgranger was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, professorhazard, Ampkit5)
A comment left by nickgranger was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, professorhazard, Ampkit5)
numberkillinger
+2 -1
screw you, nick granger! Fuck You!
screw you, nick granger! Fuck You!
numberkillinger
+0 -0
I'm sorry... that was... 100% inappropriate...
I'm sorry... that was... 100% inappropriate...
nickgranger
+0 -0
is it bad that i'm chubbying you for this? referenced
one of my favorite strips couldn't help but give kudos.
is it bad that i'm chubbying you for this? referenced
one of my favorite strips couldn't help but give kudos.
hedonismbot
+3 -0
I'm sorry Nick. When these boys get the syrup in them, they get all antsy in the pantsy
I'm sorry Nick. When these boys get the syrup in them, they get all antsy in the pantsy
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, I feel weird about being the one to have to mention this, hedonismbot, but I believe that you are now the third person on assetbar with this avatar. It's an awesome one, I know. Just somethin' to think about. Not that it's any of my business.
Well, I feel weird about being the one to have to mention this, hedonismbot, but I believe that you are now the third person on assetbar with this avatar. It's an awesome one, I know. Just somethin' to think about. Not that it's any of my business.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I'm still waiting eagerly for the Fuckin' poster, metal sign, t-shirt, etc.
I'm still waiting eagerly for the Fuckin' poster, metal sign, t-shirt, etc.
rowboat
+1 -0
Too special.
Too special.
mattylite
+0 -0
Velvet; blacklight.
Velvet; blacklight.
hateandwar
+4 -0
That i]Fuckin'[/i] image is extremely special to me. The lovely thing about it is that it's just there in the abckground, Beef doesn't refer to it or acknowledge it in any way. Weirder yet is that Pat is presumably the one who put it there. We're left to wonder why Pat would own something so arguably crass, and what purpose he thought it would serve in his spacecraft.
I once found myself bored in a biology class and drew up a larger, somewhat more detailed i]Fuckin'[/i] panel in my notebook. Thing took up the bottom half of the page. One day I thoughtlessly leant my notes to a classmate, not thinking to warn her of my dirty doodling habit. When the notebook was returned to me, the bottom half of my page on the lymphatic system was missing. I knew what was there. She didn't tell me what became of it, and I was too embarassed to ask her myself.
That i]Fuckin'[/i] image is extremely special to me. The lovely thing about it is that it's just there in the abckground, Beef doesn't refer to it or acknowledge it in any way. Weirder yet is that Pat is presumably the one who put it there. We're left to wonder why Pat would own something so arguably crass, and what purpose he thought it would serve in his spacecraft.
I once found myself bored in a biology class and drew up a larger, somewhat more detailed i]Fuckin'[/i] panel in my notebook. Thing took up the bottom half of the page. One day I thoughtlessly leant my notes to a classmate, not thinking to warn her of my dirty doodling habit. When the notebook was returned to me, the bottom half of my page on the lymphatic system was missing. I knew what was there. She didn't tell me what became of it, and I was too embarassed to ask her myself.
hateandwar
+0 -0
SHIT
SHIT
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...not only did you make that mistake once, you did it twice...
like you just copy and pasted it, carelessly.
...not only did you make that mistake once, you did it twice...
like you just copy and pasted it, carelessly.
hateandwar
+0 -0
I am a terribly careless person, as my inability to think of my pornographic doodles would seem to indicate. I've only just begun playing with BBcode because I was just so scared I was gonna' screw it up and then Oh God, they'll all laugh at me, what the fuck should I do oh God damn it
I am a terribly careless person, as my inability to think of my pornographic doodles would seem to indicate. I've only just begun playing with BBcode because I was just so scared I was gonna' screw it up and then Oh God, they'll all laugh at me, what the fuck should I do oh God damn it
dovey
+0 -0
Man you should've asked. You could've got some []Fuckin'[/i]
Man you should've asked. You could've got some []Fuckin'[/i]
straw
+1 -1
O sure, but I'm the only one that notices the llamas!
LLAMAS EVERYWHERE!
WITH THEIR...
HOOVES
O sure, but I'm the only one that notices the llamas!
LLAMAS EVERYWHERE!
WITH THEIR...
HOOVES
tekende
+0 -0
And their...
NECKS
And their...
NECKS
snowman
+0 -0
On the other hand, his handle is a pretty decent reference. Overall, I'll give him a six.
On the other hand, his handle is a pretty decent reference. Overall, I'll give him a six.
crumpetsandtea
+1 -0
OH BIKER! im an idiot
OH BIKER! im an idiot
steev_dayv
+2 -0
Ray has assured his prostitute that his condoms were not up asses
Ray has assured his prostitute that his condoms were not up asses
achilleselbow
+0 -0
NAWWWWW!!!! DAWWWN'T!!! NNNNYAIAI!!!
NAWWWWW!!!! DAWWWN'T!!! NNNNYAIAI!!!
professorhazard
+0 -0
WHEAH IST MEIN BUSSDAY CAYEEK?!
WHEAH IST MEIN BUSSDAY CAYEEK?!
vincentkv
+0 -0
Dude, don't be a shit in my cut.
Dude, don't be a shit in my cut.
shankley
+0 -0
excellent Professor Brothers reference.
excellent Professor Brothers reference.
khabuem
+3 -2
The question this strip poses is, will Ray be wearing his crown proudly the next day, showing the world he got mad rutty? Or will he go crownless, hiding his shameful foray into the absitnhe crawl?
The question this strip poses is, will Ray be wearing his crown proudly the next day, showing the world he got mad rutty? Or will he go crownless, hiding his shameful foray into the absitnhe crawl?
bjorntd
+4 -0
He'll wear the crown, but it will be slumped to one side. It ain't got much feelin' in it.
He'll wear the crown, but it will be slumped to one side. It ain't got much feelin' in it.
spinynorman
+33 -0
Well, it's always at a pretty jaunty angle. Something tells me R. Smuckles can't wear a hat without it looking jaunty.
The face below the hat, though, will be riddled with shame. I mean... not only did you solicit sex, you solicited sex from a farmyard animal , in front of its child , whom you insulted.
Racially.
Well, it's always at a pretty jaunty angle. Something tells me R. Smuckles can't wear a hat without it looking jaunty.
The face below the hat, though, will be riddled with shame. I mean... not only did you solicit sex, you solicited sex from a farmyard animal , in front of its child , whom you insulted.
Racially.
octanedeath
+0 -1
how can one tell if a chick is racially impure? They are hard enough to identify the gender, but ray seemingly nails it. He is quite a discerning person.
how can one tell if a chick is racially impure? They are hard enough to identify the gender, but ray seemingly nails it. He is quite a discerning person.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
A comment left by heccibiggs was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by flazisismuss, snidedk, shinsengumi14, Abbie)
A comment left by heccibiggs was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by flazisismuss, snidedk, shinsengumi14, Abbie)
saucy_jack
+2 -0
pure -adj.
- of unmixed descent or ancestry
pure -adj.
- of unmixed descent or ancestry
heccibiggs
+5 -2
Okay, I'll willingly admit that technically the word is not inappropriate, but it just seems to have such negative connotations that it can't really apply?
All right, maybe this is just my white-girl, upper-working-class attitude showing here. But I've never heard anyone use the word "impure" before in this context, and it just doesn't seem acceptable.
If anyone strongly disagrees with what I'm saying here, I'll accept any lames that come my way. I've had quite a lot of wine tonight, otherwise I wouldn't be anywhere near as ballsy.
Okay, I'll willingly admit that technically the word is not inappropriate, but it just seems to have such negative connotations that it can't really apply?
All right, maybe this is just my white-girl, upper-working-class attitude showing here. But I've never heard anyone use the word "impure" before in this context, and it just doesn't seem acceptable.
If anyone strongly disagrees with what I'm saying here, I'll accept any lames that come my way. I've had quite a lot of wine tonight, otherwise I wouldn't be anywhere near as ballsy.
loneal
+0 -0
I agree with you, heccibiggs. I mean, maybe it's a technical term, but it certainly rubs me the wrong way with its connotations.
I've taken quite enough lames for being "oversensitive," though, so perhaps I am not the right person to back you up!
I agree with you, heccibiggs. I mean, maybe it's a technical term, but it certainly rubs me the wrong way with its connotations.
I've taken quite enough lames for being "oversensitive," though, so perhaps I am not the right person to back you up!
wittyname
+0 -0
To fully complete the Godwin's Law, saying of "racial impurity" brings up memories of Nazi Germany. The term that would be more politically correct would be "racially blended" or "mixed".
To fully complete the Godwin's Law, saying of "racial impurity" brings up memories of Nazi Germany. The term that would be more politically correct would be "racially blended" or "mixed".
hbaranov
+2 -2
Does this mean, that actually, you and those you champion, lose the argument, because you invoked the Godwin's Law? Therefore, impure, when discussing the bloodlines of chickens, is acceptable. Well, glad to know that one is resolved.
Does this mean, that actually, you and those you champion, lose the argument, because you invoked the Godwin's Law? Therefore, impure, when discussing the bloodlines of chickens, is acceptable. Well, glad to know that one is resolved.
lechatbotte
+2 -0
"Racial impurity" as an expression or phrase only means there exists a mixture of racial sources. It says and means nothing about the moral standing of the individual. Why must we connote such?
Promiscous means "indiscriminate", and yet when we use it, everyone hears the word "sexually" in front of it, whether we meant it that way or not.
Seriously, we can not fault the language. It does its best to serve us while we shackle it with so much extra meaning and significance. Let's not be so hypersensitive.
Go back far enough, and we're all impure racially. I've got geneology back to before Christ (literally). More than a few Jews and Muslims; Celts and Anglos; Cathars, Catholics and Byzantines; Africans, Romans, Asians and Indians (both Native American and Eastern); Spanish, Italian, French, English, Dutch, German, Greek, Russian, Ukrainian and Norse!
The more I research Geneology, the more I get how we are ultimately ALL connected and related. Seriously. Pick the fight, I've kin on both sides. World War I/II? Oh yeah. Civil War? Yep, both sides. Salem Witch Trials? Both the condemned and the accuser. Republican vs. Democrate? Cousin George ain't done me proud, but Cousin Bill had a lot of fun. Hundred Years War, Franco-Prussian, Irish vs. English, Christian vs. Jew, go ahead name the fight!
Folks, there is no "Them", there's only "Us". When will we all get that?
I'm grateful to be a racially impure polyglot. It makes me infinitly more interesting!
BTW, how many of you would argue that it's your moral purity that makes you all that interesting? So why are we that "impure" is anything less than a compliment?
"Racial impurity" as an expression or phrase only means there exists a mixture of racial sources. It says and means nothing about the moral standing of the individual. Why must we connote such?
Promiscous means "indiscriminate", and yet when we use it, everyone hears the word "sexually" in front of it, whether we meant it that way or not.
Seriously, we can not fault the language. It does its best to serve us while we shackle it with so much extra meaning and significance. Let's not be so hypersensitive.
Go back far enough, and we're all impure racially. I've got geneology back to before Christ (literally). More than a few Jews and Muslims; Celts and Anglos; Cathars, Catholics and Byzantines; Africans, Romans, Asians and Indians (both Native American and Eastern); Spanish, Italian, French, English, Dutch, German, Greek, Russian, Ukrainian and Norse!
The more I research Geneology, the more I get how we are ultimately ALL connected and related. Seriously. Pick the fight, I've kin on both sides. World War I/II? Oh yeah. Civil War? Yep, both sides. Salem Witch Trials? Both the condemned and the accuser. Republican vs. Democrate? Cousin George ain't done me proud, but Cousin Bill had a lot of fun. Hundred Years War, Franco-Prussian, Irish vs. English, Christian vs. Jew, go ahead name the fight!
Folks, there is no "Them", there's only "Us". When will we all get that?
I'm grateful to be a racially impure polyglot. It makes me infinitly more interesting!
BTW, how many of you would argue that it's your moral purity that makes you all that interesting? So why are we that "impure" is anything less than a compliment?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Jeez, didn't mean to get all carried away and stuff! I think that qualifies as a rant.
Good thing it's four months too late for anyone to actually, you know, read it or anything.
Jeez, didn't mean to get all carried away and stuff! I think that qualifies as a rant.
Good thing it's four months too late for anyone to actually, you know, read it or anything.
saucy_jack
+1 -0
I think I would be more sympathetic to the connotations if we were talking about humans and not chickens.
I think I would be more sympathetic to the connotations if we were talking about humans and not chickens.
peterjoel
+0 -0
Agreed. While you can't say that any one human ethnicity is in any way greater than another. You can say that one breed of chicken is tastier, plumper, juicier than another.
In summary: gre-licious
Agreed. While you can't say that any one human ethnicity is in any way greater than another. You can say that one breed of chicken is tastier, plumper, juicier than another.
In summary: gre-licious
achilleselbow
+0 -1
Perhaps certain human races are also tastier than others? We need a study.
Perhaps certain human races are also tastier than others? We need a study.
hbaranov
+0 -0
A comment left by hbaranov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chivalress, Comrade_Tom, saucy_jack, rateoforange)
A comment left by hbaranov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by chivalress, Comrade_Tom, saucy_jack, rateoforange)
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Fucking hell hbaranov, that sounds like trite-est slogan written on ugliest T-shirt.
Fucking hell hbaranov, that sounds like trite-est slogan written on ugliest T-shirt.
spinynorman
+2 -0
This may not be on topic, but wouldn't it be cool if people had tails?
...
I mean, wouldn't it?
This may not be on topic, but wouldn't it be cool if people had tails?
...
I mean, wouldn't it?
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Hey, you're right.
That really wasn't on topic.
God love you Spiny N, but, what are you talking about? Is this some reference that I'm not getting?
Hey, you're right.
That really wasn't on topic.
God love you Spiny N, but, what are you talking about? Is this some reference that I'm not getting?
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Is it a League of Gentleman reference? I recall them exploring the "what if people had tails" theme.
Is it a League of Gentleman reference? I recall them exploring the "what if people had tails" theme.
odei
+0 -0
Maybe he just thinks it'd be cool if people had tails.
I think it would!
Maybe he just thinks it'd be cool if people had tails.
I think it would!
spinynorman
+0 -0
Well, everyone was debating the human race and what we really were, and I thought that so long as we were discussing breeding the master race we might as well throw tails into the mix.
I mean, they'd make a lot of relationships a lot easier, because then you'd know exactly what the other person was thinking. I'm Pro-Tail.
I would probably get along better with a dude with a tail than I would a Homo Sapiens Sapiens.
Well, everyone was debating the human race and what we really were, and I thought that so long as we were discussing breeding the master race we might as well throw tails into the mix.
I mean, they'd make a lot of relationships a lot easier, because then you'd know exactly what the other person was thinking. I'm Pro-Tail.
I would probably get along better with a dude with a tail than I would a Homo Sapiens Sapiens.
wittyname
+0 -0
spinynorman is looking for a dude with a tail for a relationship.
spinynorman is looking for a dude with a tail for a relationship.
lawbot
+0 -0
GSOH required. No timewasters.
GSOH required. No timewasters.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't know, man. Think about how much more difficult it would be to put on pants. And really, isn't putting on pants hard enough already?
I don't know, man. Think about how much more difficult it would be to put on pants. And really, isn't putting on pants hard enough already?
usversusthem
+0 -0
Oh no it's Daniel Tosh quote time! Everybody throw change at bums!
Oh no it's Daniel Tosh quote time! Everybody throw change at bums!
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
NO
lawbot
+0 -0
BUT YES FOR BALLSINESS
BUT YES FOR BALLSINESS
bjorntd
+0 -0
It was like something between a Cornish game and a leghorn.
It was like something between a Cornish game and a leghorn.
spinynorman
+5 -0
You can usually tell if someone is a pure, concentrated race by a simple taste test. Getting them to submit to the taste test is pretty difficult, though, and you have to have a pretty established palette, too.
"Hmm... Danish with a peaty Black Celt tang at the onset and the musky aftertaste of something Mediterranean... Probably Sicily, I'd say. Could be Corsica."
You can usually tell if someone is a pure, concentrated race by a simple taste test. Getting them to submit to the taste test is pretty difficult, though, and you have to have a pretty established palette, too.
"Hmm... Danish with a peaty Black Celt tang at the onset and the musky aftertaste of something Mediterranean... Probably Sicily, I'd say. Could be Corsica."
lawbot
+0 -0
Celtic in a Sicilian? Unlikely. But you're getting the Norman notes.
Celtic in a Sicilian? Unlikely. But you're getting the Norman notes.
odei
+0 -0
Well the celts were originally from the Iberian peninsula, so it's not that much of a stretch.
Well the celts were originally from the Iberian peninsula, so it's not that much of a stretch.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
And Normans were a mix of Celts and Frankish Germans.
And Normans were a mix of Celts and Frankish Germans.
cpnglxynchos
+18 -0
HOLY CHRIST IS THAT AN ALIVE STUFFED ANIMAL
HOLY CHRIST IS THAT AN ALIVE STUFFED ANIMAL
proof_man
+12 -2
i love how it is supposed to be surreal and hallucinatory for there to be a talking animal prostitute in this strip only because it is a non-mammal/(non-snake). i mean, when it was fine for an intellectual cat-pervert pay money to a stuffed tiger to stick a vibrator in a cup of coffee, i assumed that our disbelief had long stopped swinging and kicking from the rafters with the chair kicked out under it.
i hope that this actually turns into an arc where this makes sense in the achewood universe. the rules of achewood have been drifting for a while...i don't think we would see something like roast beef hanging out on the moon again anytime soon, and without question or it being qualified as 'magic realism' or something.
yeah, it's cool when the style of humor develops over time, but maybe if the rules weren't slowly tightening we wouldn't get these 'surrealist' non-sequitur strips as release valves. i mean, i do like them in a way, though....however, they seem to set the limits for what's reasonable in the 'real' strips, and this one polices it pretty tightly (yeah, i'm writing a thesis now...). when a cat can't engage in relations with a bird, i'm left deeply troubled.
what is mean to say is: i miss blister and trouble man and no-no.
i dunno...maybe my opinion is just a result of the way that i go through the archives.
i love how it is supposed to be surreal and hallucinatory for there to be a talking animal prostitute in this strip only because it is a non-mammal/(non-snake). i mean, when it was fine for an intellectual cat-pervert pay money to a stuffed tiger to stick a vibrator in a cup of coffee, i assumed that our disbelief had long stopped swinging and kicking from the rafters with the chair kicked out under it.
i hope that this actually turns into an arc where this makes sense in the achewood universe. the rules of achewood have been drifting for a while...i don't think we would see something like roast beef hanging out on the moon again anytime soon, and without question or it being qualified as 'magic realism' or something.
yeah, it's cool when the style of humor develops over time, but maybe if the rules weren't slowly tightening we wouldn't get these 'surrealist' non-sequitur strips as release valves. i mean, i do like them in a way, though....however, they seem to set the limits for what's reasonable in the 'real' strips, and this one polices it pretty tightly (yeah, i'm writing a thesis now...). when a cat can't engage in relations with a bird, i'm left deeply troubled.
what is mean to say is: i miss blister and trouble man and no-no.
i dunno...maybe my opinion is just a result of the way that i go through the archives.
proof_man
+13 -1
to clarify, this is not supposed to be a 'this is the way achewood should be' complaint. i'm just nostalgic for when strange things played a different role in the comic. roast beef on the moon negotiating with ray was an awesome metaphor for working through depression. molly leaving heaven for beef before it gets burnt down...same kind of thing going down, although a tad more abstract. journeying through hell has all kinds of literary references up in there. the great outdoor fight, although more realistic, was pretty mythical in register. even things like asshole robots with were nice foils to the main characters (with their machine one-dimensionality in opposition to the cats slowly growing more nuanced), although that kinda fell apart more quickly.
i guess the weirdness used to be part of the storytelling, not an exception or departure from the characters doing funny things in the context of domesticity.
yeah, not all of the weirdness in the ol' times was directly related to character development and such...but (and i know that this is going to probably get lamed a lot) i would rather have the weirdness take the form as a set up for lie-bot pulling the same kind of thing on phillipe a dozen times than for the joke to be that the strip is 'wacky', as might possibly be the case here. achewood is still hella funny, so that's cool. i'm just waxin and wishin...
to clarify, this is not supposed to be a 'this is the way achewood should be' complaint. i'm just nostalgic for when strange things played a different role in the comic. roast beef on the moon negotiating with ray was an awesome metaphor for working through depression. molly leaving heaven for beef before it gets burnt down...same kind of thing going down, although a tad more abstract. journeying through hell has all kinds of literary references up in there. the great outdoor fight, although more realistic, was pretty mythical in register. even things like asshole robots with were nice foils to the main characters (with their machine one-dimensionality in opposition to the cats slowly growing more nuanced), although that kinda fell apart more quickly.
i guess the weirdness used to be part of the storytelling, not an exception or departure from the characters doing funny things in the context of domesticity.
yeah, not all of the weirdness in the ol' times was directly related to character development and such...but (and i know that this is going to probably get lamed a lot) i would rather have the weirdness take the form as a set up for lie-bot pulling the same kind of thing on phillipe a dozen times than for the joke to be that the strip is 'wacky', as might possibly be the case here. achewood is still hella funny, so that's cool. i'm just waxin and wishin...
proof_man
+11 -2
shit, i just realized what's going down:
the last two strips defined and illustrated the formula of setting up an expectation and breaking them with the punchline. this is the strip that departs from that kind of formula in its style of humor...which actually puts it in the position of the punchline in the formula, assuming that monday and tuesday were the set up. this strip is like part of an arc that began at the beginning of the week.
so, yeah, the weirdness is still at the heart of it and i should shut the hell up because it looks like onstad knows what he is doing.
shit, i just realized what's going down:
the last two strips defined and illustrated the formula of setting up an expectation and breaking them with the punchline. this is the strip that departs from that kind of formula in its style of humor...which actually puts it in the position of the punchline in the formula, assuming that monday and tuesday were the set up. this strip is like part of an arc that began at the beginning of the week.
so, yeah, the weirdness is still at the heart of it and i should shut the hell up because it looks like onstad knows what he is doing.
nonorganon
+3 -0
Not really, this happens to Ray a lot. Remember Cartilage Head or Lonis F. Edison? Same vibe.
Ray is a dude with a lot of luck. The price he pays for that luck is the occasional surreal and existential mindfuck.
Not really, this happens to Ray a lot. Remember Cartilage Head or Lonis F. Edison? Same vibe.
Ray is a dude with a lot of luck. The price he pays for that luck is the occasional surreal and existential mindfuck.
nonorganon
+0 -0
I kind of skimmed your posts the first time and I actually *kind of* rephrased what you said, but I think it still stands.
I kind of skimmed your posts the first time and I actually *kind of* rephrased what you said, but I think it still stands.
proof_man
+0 -0
yeah, i guess that's true...i was more picking and choosing which ones looked more consciously literary and i guess i just remembered the instances i liked.
i didn't like the mexican magic realist arc too much (or the aborted evil banjo arc...or the shoe-brothers), but i thought the cartilage head thing was just done well and didn't need to make sense.
my point wasn't that weird things didn't used to always make sense...just that they weren't always non-sequiturs and the rules allowed them to happen alongside 'normal' things more often. i do enjoy the ones that don't make sense...but i like it better when they are *allowed* to make sense more often. but now that i think i see the function of this strip, i've come around and will now stop typing.
yeah, i guess that's true...i was more picking and choosing which ones looked more consciously literary and i guess i just remembered the instances i liked.
i didn't like the mexican magic realist arc too much (or the aborted evil banjo arc...or the shoe-brothers), but i thought the cartilage head thing was just done well and didn't need to make sense.
my point wasn't that weird things didn't used to always make sense...just that they weren't always non-sequiturs and the rules allowed them to happen alongside 'normal' things more often. i do enjoy the ones that don't make sense...but i like it better when they are *allowed* to make sense more often. but now that i think i see the function of this strip, i've come around and will now stop typing.
hbaranov
+0 -0
It amazes me, this action motivates you to write enough words for me to bundle them up, and use them as my philosophy synoptic paper, if I so chose.
It amazes me, this action motivates you to write enough words for me to bundle them up, and use them as my philosophy synoptic paper, if I so chose.
proof_man
+0 -0
you have my permission.
you have my permission.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Seriously, don't spend so much time trying to understand the strip, and just BE with it.
In life, understanding is the booby prize.
Seriously, don't spend so much time trying to understand the strip, and just BE with it.
In life, understanding is the booby prize.
farqussus
+0 -0
THINKING ALOUD, THINKING ALOUD
THINKING ALOUD, THINKING ALOUD
catgrl131
+5 -1
Yes, but is thinking allowed?
Yes, but is thinking allowed?
hbaranov
+0 -0
Only if the Ministry of Love deems it Politically Acceptable.
-This message sponsored by the Ministry of Love-
Only if the Ministry of Love deems it Politically Acceptable.
-This message sponsored by the Ministry of Love-
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Allowed, but over-rated.
Allowed, but over-rated.
pogo
+0 -1
TOO MANY WORDS!!
TOO MANY WORDS!!
carpetbag
+0 -0
Neither Téodor Lyle nor Cornelius is in this strip what are you talking about
Neither Téodor Lyle nor Cornelius is in this strip what are you talking about
methadone
+6 -0
Ray is trippin balls
Ray is trippin balls
snick
+0 -0
Comment left by snick ignored.
Comment left by snick ignored.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Clits were better before you hyped them up so much. I kind of think Clits have lost their way.
Clits were better before you hyped them up so much. I kind of think Clits have lost their way.
rowboat
+1 -0
Clits have jumped twenty-seven sharks.
Clits have jumped twenty-seven sharks.
jlynes
+0 -0
The Bang Brothers' next web porn venture:
www.sharkjumpingclits.com
The Bang Brothers' next web porn venture:
www.sharkjumpingclits.com
sortelli
+1 -0
Their insurance premiums would be THROUGH THE ROOF.
Their insurance premiums would be THROUGH THE ROOF.
farqussus
+0 -0
Clits went out with ironic T-shirts
Clits went out with ironic T-shirts
brycemidas
+1 -0
I liked their first album better.
I liked their first album better.
lechatbotte
+1 -0
If Clits have lost their way, I volunteer to help steer them back again.
(We may or may not make it back, but it's all about the journey.)
If Clits have lost their way, I volunteer to help steer them back again.
(We may or may not make it back, but it's all about the journey.)
bjorntd
+0 -0
SUUUCH A PRIVATE PLACE
SUUUCH A PRIVATE PLACE
agentstinky
+2 -0
If this comic had a name, it would be A. W. Esome.
If this comic had a name, it would be A. W. Esome.
loneal
+10 -1
That is its name. Ache Wood Esome. It just prefers to go by its first and middle names only.
That is its name. Ache Wood Esome. It just prefers to go by its first and middle names only.
wotown
+0 -0
Like a young Southern man.
Like a young Southern man.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Is that anything like Wile Ethelbert Coyote?
Is that anything like Wile Ethelbert Coyote?
notcool
+0 -0
Once upon a time, I was a member of the Boy Scouts. Now, the Boy Scouts tend to come in two different styles - the sissy, limp-wristed scouts, and government-sponsored terrorist training cells.
I was affiliated with one of the later.
Riding herd on this psychopathic group of testosterone and violence was an ex-Marine officer, who settled back in the woods for peace and quiet, to no be bothered by the gubment and to build racecars. He stood about nine foot seven, Weighed in at a quarter and a half of a ton, all muscle, and enjoyed giving us sideways advice on how to accomplish our depraved goals while turning a blind eye to their outcomes and our guarunteed destruction.
His name was Winnifred Edward. Everybody called Him Dubya Eee.
Once upon a time, I was a member of the Boy Scouts. Now, the Boy Scouts tend to come in two different styles - the sissy, limp-wristed scouts, and government-sponsored terrorist training cells.
I was affiliated with one of the later.
Riding herd on this psychopathic group of testosterone and violence was an ex-Marine officer, who settled back in the woods for peace and quiet, to no be bothered by the gubment and to build racecars. He stood about nine foot seven, Weighed in at a quarter and a half of a ton, all muscle, and enjoyed giving us sideways advice on how to accomplish our depraved goals while turning a blind eye to their outcomes and our guarunteed destruction.
His name was Winnifred Edward. Everybody called Him Dubya Eee.
spicyponyhead
+0 -0
Colonel Angus! Haven't seen you around these parts lately.
Colonel Angus! Haven't seen you around these parts lately.
johnnyc
+1 -0
This strip raises far more questions than it could ever hope to answer.
Foremost in my mind is, "Why is Ray excited by the notion of the kid being mixed race?"
This strip raises far more questions than it could ever hope to answer.
Foremost in my mind is, "Why is Ray excited by the notion of the kid being mixed race?"
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
in my mind, the first question concerning this is why he even considers the kid but then, maybe he's just interested in mixed-race folk. not in a...physical..way but in a scholastic manner.
maybe i should just stop saying words until more add theirs to the fray.
in my mind, the first question concerning this is why he even considers the kid but then, maybe he's just interested in mixed-race folk. not in a...physical..way but in a scholastic manner.
maybe i should just stop saying words until more add theirs to the fray.
johnnyc
+2 -0
My second question is, "What kind of hooker brings her kid?"
Bad ones, in my experience.
My second question is, "What kind of hooker brings her kid?"
Bad ones, in my experience.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
The kind that has to explicitly announce that she's a prostitute. Otherwise you might think she's just a lady with a kid.
The kind that has to explicitly announce that she's a prostitute. Otherwise you might think she's just a lady with a kid.
baryonyx
+0 -0
In your bedroom, at nighttime.
It's happened.
In your bedroom, at nighttime.
It's happened.
bogwan
+1 -0
In my mind, ol' Ray is desperately trying to salvage the sexuality of the situation. (Prostitute brought her kid? Ok... maybe he's mixed race?)
In my mind, ol' Ray is desperately trying to salvage the sexuality of the situation. (Prostitute brought her kid? Ok... maybe he's mixed race?)
falseprophet
+1 -0
What is most unsettling about this is that the mixed-race kid looks very clearly like a small rooster and it is the mother that looks like some fucked up amalgamation of a bird and the Alien from Alien .
It is deeply unsettling. Deeply.
What is most unsettling about this is that the mixed-race kid looks very clearly like a small rooster and it is the mother that looks like some fucked up amalgamation of a bird and the Alien from Alien .
It is deeply unsettling. Deeply.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Darest I see a glimmer of hope in panel eight?
Unfortunately, I darest. Goddamn it, Ray.
Darest I see a glimmer of hope in panel eight?
Unfortunately, I darest. Goddamn it, Ray.
achilleselbow
+1 -1
At first he thinks he can't get off with a chicken prostitute, but then he decides that he has to see it as a challenge.
At first he thinks he can't get off with a chicken prostitute, but then he decides that he has to see it as a challenge.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Challenge nothing. He feels quilty for upsetting the welp. From here, it's a pure pity-fuck. And even then he's not sure he's up for it.
But you know what they say: even bad sex is pretty good.
Challenge nothing. He feels quilty for upsetting the welp. From here, it's a pure pity-fuck. And even then he's not sure he's up for it.
But you know what they say: even bad sex is pretty good.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
HOT BI-RACIAL CHICKEN ACTION - XXX
HOT BI-RACIAL CHICKEN ACTION - XXX
chuvak
+0 -0
I hadn't even considered that this might be an exciting thing for Ray. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
I hadn't even considered that this might be an exciting thing for Ray. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
thedudeabides85
+6 -0
So this is what they mean by "one-diamond escort"
So this is what they mean by "one-diamond escort"
audhumla
+2 -0
does anything beat topical humor?
the answer is no
does anything beat topical humor?
the answer is no
farqussus
+0 -2
tropical humid
tropical humid
jlynes
+0 -1
traceable humours
traceable humours
spinynorman
+0 -0
irascible femurs
irascible femurs
professorhazard
+2 -0
scratch and sniff tumors
scratch and sniff tumors
meetzorp
+0 -0
Illuminated lemurs?
Illuminated lemurs?
biff
+0 -0
Stanley Steamers
Stanley Steamers
bjorntd
+0 -0
improbable lemurs
improbable lemurs
bixschmix
+1 -0
Indefatigable reamers?
Indefatigable reamers?
catgrl131
+1 -0
Impossible Dreamers?
Impossible Dreamers?
lateadopter
+2 -0
A stick.
A stick.
bjorntd
+0 -0
A comment left by bjorntd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, odei, unsentletter)
A comment left by bjorntd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, odei, unsentletter)
lateadopter
+0 -0
No, not a combo breaker.
"does anything beat topical humor?"
"A stick."
No, not a combo breaker.
"does anything beat topical humor?"
"A stick."
hbaranov
+0 -0
I name you Box-outsider-thinker!
I name you Box-outsider-thinker!
lateadopter
+0 -0
Inside-joke gleaner
Inside-joke gleaner
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Brilliant enough without need of explanation.
After going through the relatively silly, but still strangely alluring and charming set of options, landing on a terse, but impresively accurate "A stick." was perfect. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself.
Thank you lateadopter. Thank you.
Brilliant enough without need of explanation.
After going through the relatively silly, but still strangely alluring and charming set of options, landing on a terse, but impresively accurate "A stick." was perfect. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself.
Thank you lateadopter. Thank you.
jlynes
+0 -0
Portable Teamsters.
Portable Teamsters.
irondave
+0 -0
Where on Earth did that come from?
Where on Earth did that come from?
gsurge
+0 -0
I really don't know what to say about this...
I just...
...
I really don't know what to say about this...
I just...
...
proof_man
+0 -0
the most confusing part is what's going on with ray's lips in panel 11.
the most confusing part is what's going on with ray's lips in panel 11.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he is Troubled that he made the little birdie scared.
he is Troubled that he made the little birdie scared.
rowboat
+1 -0
And that his life is secretly a nightmare trip worthy of Aronofsky.
And that his life is secretly a nightmare trip worthy of Aronofsky.
scraggg
+0 -0
Darren Aronofsky?
Prostitution?
It can only mean one thing.
Darren Aronofsky?
Prostitution?
It can only mean one thing.
morypcaina
+2 -0
ASS TO ASS!
ASS TO ASS!
miku224
+0 -0
I want to chubby this comment, but having that scene called to mind makes me want to vomit, so I'm not sure if I should.
I guess it's a chubby for the actual comment, but a most definitely un-chubby for the scene you're referencing. Yuck.
I want to chubby this comment, but having that scene called to mind makes me want to vomit, so I'm not sure if I should.
I guess it's a chubby for the actual comment, but a most definitely un-chubby for the scene you're referencing. Yuck.
miku224
+0 -0
Aaaaaaaaand after that lengthy debate with myself, I'm out of chubbies anyway. Damn you, assetbar, damn you.
Aaaaaaaaand after that lengthy debate with myself, I'm out of chubbies anyway. Damn you, assetbar, damn you.
ninjaein
+0 -0
Damn you, miku, for putting your psychedelic Freak Out T-Rex one too many times on my computer screen. In fact, I think I'm hypnotized.
Damn you, miku, for putting your psychedelic Freak Out T-Rex one too many times on my computer screen. In fact, I think I'm hypnotized.
joebot
+0 -0
Dude WTF
Dude WTF
iidebaser
+1 -0
I, too, regret ray going on the absinthe crawl two nights in a row.
I, too, regret ray going on the absinthe crawl two nights in a row.
gormster
+0 -0
but, I'm willing to bet, not for the same reason.
At least not for the exact same reason
but, I'm willing to bet, not for the same reason.
At least not for the exact same reason
whoisspain
+0 -0
You'd be surprised.
You'd be surprised.
iidebaser
+0 -0
gormster would be surprised if he thought I didn't feel sorry about ray's bad trip. I mean, the meal is last week's fish and the in-flight movie is prince of tides; this is a bad trip.
gormster would be surprised if he thought I didn't feel sorry about ray's bad trip. I mean, the meal is last week's fish and the in-flight movie is prince of tides; this is a bad trip.
shades
+0 -0
YES
YES
mrclarinet
+1 -0
Maybe it's not her kid at all, but her pimp, and he's sad because he gets upset about being mistaken for a kid.
There's a comic idea - an extremely insecure, sensitive pimp.
Maybe it's not her kid at all, but her pimp, and he's sad because he gets upset about being mistaken for a kid.
There's a comic idea - an extremely insecure, sensitive pimp.
cpnglxynchos
+3 -0
a comic idea...not a novel idea.
a comic idea...not a novel idea.
loneal
+0 -0
An extremely insecure, sensitive pimp: now there's a prose poem idea.
An extremely insecure, sensitive pimp: now there's a prose poem idea.
professorhazard
+1 -0
Make him Armenian and asthmatic, and you've got Kevin McDonald's pimp character from The Kids in the Hall .
Make him Armenian and asthmatic, and you've got Kevin McDonald's pimp character from The Kids in the Hall .
coldfrog
+0 -0
Or he could be a puppet named Franklin.
Or he could be a puppet named Franklin.
mo_rose
+0 -0
miss-ta eff.
miss-ta eff.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
Part of this strip seems like an odd reversal of the sketch where Chicken Lady orders a male prostitute.
Gotta get laid. Gotta gat laid.
Part of this strip seems like an odd reversal of the sketch where Chicken Lady orders a male prostitute.
Gotta get laid. Gotta gat laid.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Chubbied for the second 'Kids in the Hall' reference of the day.
Chubbied for the second 'Kids in the Hall' reference of the day.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Got it! After the Abisinth Crawl, Ray drops off to sleep while watching Kids in the Hall reruns, and voila the resultant nightmare scenario!
Da-dum-dee-dum-dee-duuum!
(He's lucky it didn't go much, much worse!)
Got it! After the Abisinth Crawl, Ray drops off to sleep while watching Kids in the Hall reruns, and voila the resultant nightmare scenario!
Da-dum-dee-dum-dee-duuum!
(He's lucky it didn't go much, much worse!)
farqussus
+0 -0
Call Saturday Night Live!
Call Saturday Night Live!
d-pad
+0 -0
I like that Ray's apparently going to go through with this even though it's not what he wanted, and her kid is right there. It's unbecoming to cancel a business deal due to misconceptions on your part.
I like that Ray's apparently going to go through with this even though it's not what he wanted, and her kid is right there. It's unbecoming to cancel a business deal due to misconceptions on your part.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
suppose i got a reputation !
suppose i got a reputation !
denise
+12 -1
guys this is actually really sad
guys this is actually really sad
chuvak
+3 -1
OMG Denise you're right. what are we gonna do? WE GOTTA HELP 'EM.
OMG Denise you're right. what are we gonna do? WE GOTTA HELP 'EM.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...it really is. it reminds me of some...song a lady sings about some ghetto-woman selling herself to feed a baby 'cos he's hungry all hangin' in the living room alone waiting for mama to come home.
..not quite the case here but still....
almost the saddest thing.
al most.
...it really is. it reminds me of some...song a lady sings about some ghetto-woman selling herself to feed a baby 'cos he's hungry all hangin' in the living room alone waiting for mama to come home.
..not quite the case here but still....
almost the saddest thing.
al most.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
and the only way to feed 'em is to sleep with a man for a little bit a money and his daddy's gone, somewhere smokin' rock now, in and outta lockdown: I ain't gotta job now! So for you this is just a good time, but for me this is what i call LIFE. C'mon!
I think the same of the band is City Life, or City High. City something. It was almost the only song I listened to the year it came out. I remembered the lyrics without google. I do not know how to feel about this.
and the only way to feed 'em is to sleep with a man for a little bit a money and his daddy's gone, somewhere smokin' rock now, in and outta lockdown: I ain't gotta job now! So for you this is just a good time, but for me this is what i call LIFE. C'mon!
I think the same of the band is City Life, or City High. City something. It was almost the only song I listened to the year it came out. I remembered the lyrics without google. I do not know how to feel about this.
gormster
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6p91KjbDo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6p91KjbDo
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that is the song i was thinking of but the lyrics were hell of fuzzy in my mind's ears so i didn't try quoting.
chubby for you.
that is the song i was thinking of but the lyrics were hell of fuzzy in my mind's ears so i didn't try quoting.
chubby for you.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Sens pas mal, Petite Poupee, car soit toute-a-fait normale.
Sens pas mal, Petite Poupee, car soit toute-a-fait normale.
cbtbone
+12 -0
DENISE! ARE YOU CRAPPIN'?
DENISE! ARE YOU CRAPPIN'?
pursesnatcher
+0 -0
A comment left by pursesnatcher was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AdrianMiller, divot, phthoggos, Thorfinn)
A comment left by pursesnatcher was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AdrianMiller, divot, phthoggos, Thorfinn)
lawbot
+0 -0
YES
YES
mikekitchell
+1 -1
this is so entirely fucked up and potent when you're drunk on dark beer and light beer and a pack and half of cigarettes AND THERE ARE STILL FOURTY PEOPLE IN YOUR HOUSE
this is so entirely fucked up and potent when you're drunk on dark beer and light beer and a pack and half of cigarettes AND THERE ARE STILL FOURTY PEOPLE IN YOUR HOUSE
coldfrog
+0 -0
mmmmm, dark and light.
mmmmm, dark and light.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
It will still be entirely fucked up and potent when you're hungover from dark beer and light beer and a pack and a half of cigarettes AND THERE ARE FORTY PEOPLE SLEEPING ON YOUR FURNITURE (and also) FLOOR
If you don't get hangovers, I envy you.
It will still be entirely fucked up and potent when you're hungover from dark beer and light beer and a pack and a half of cigarettes AND THERE ARE FORTY PEOPLE SLEEPING ON YOUR FURNITURE (and also) FLOOR
If you don't get hangovers, I envy you.
mikekitchell
+1 -0
Morning after: this comic is still fucked up, I'm not hungover, and there is nobody asleep in my living room. Today, I win.
Morning after: this comic is still fucked up, I'm not hungover, and there is nobody asleep in my living room. Today, I win.
lateadopter
+2 -0
Damn, you must have a really big van.
Damn, you must have a really big van.
mikekitchell
+0 -0
Swoooosh
Swoooosh
fillercrowley
+3 -0
Waaaaaaaaait a second...why does the mother bird look like a fat xenomorph unless...oh my goodness the next story arc is going to be about a pregnant Ray.
Waaaaaaaaait a second...why does the mother bird look like a fat xenomorph unless...oh my goodness the next story arc is going to be about a pregnant Ray.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
man why you even got to say a thing.
man why you even got to say a thing.
sn0wman
+1 -0
Ray, low point. Low point, Ray.
Ray, low point. Low point, Ray.
ariela
+3 -0
This is the strangest strip on my birthday so far (and yet, so wonderful). It's only 9am and my entire day has already been affected. I'm thinking of making a prostitute-bird shaped cake and giving out little mixed race chicks as party favors. Thank you, Achewood.
This is the strangest strip on my birthday so far (and yet, so wonderful). It's only 9am and my entire day has already been affected. I'm thinking of making a prostitute-bird shaped cake and giving out little mixed race chicks as party favors. Thank you, Achewood.
rogergs
+4 -0
High yellow marhmallow Peeps?
High yellow marhmallow Peeps?
falseprophet
+0 -2
*~* This asset is Barack Obama-approved. *~*
*~* This asset is Barack Obama-approved. *~*
unsentletter
+0 -0
That's it!!
It's a Peep, isn't it?!
That's it!!
It's a Peep, isn't it?!
lechatbotte
+0 -0
First time EVER I wanted to chubby, and didn't have one to give. Consider yourself virtually chubbied par excellence.
First time EVER I wanted to chubby, and didn't have one to give. Consider yourself virtually chubbied par excellence.
chuvak
+4 -0
What I've always wondered is why, if Ray is so rich, does he only have what looks to be a super single bed? How does he accommodate the occasional windfall of the female variety? Dude needs one of these:
[IMGS OFF]
What I've always wondered is why, if Ray is so rich, does he only have what looks to be a super single bed? How does he accommodate the occasional windfall of the female variety? Dude needs one of these:
[IMGS OFF]
sn0wman
+0 -0
A comment left by sn0wman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, Ampkit5, NinjaEin, DrSkradley, vermy, synapse, The_Clarkness, opalleye)
A comment left by sn0wman was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kylank, Ampkit5, NinjaEin, DrSkradley, vermy, synapse, The_Clarkness, opalleye)
rienne
+0 -1
a) Ray is not a stuffed animal
2) eBay, dude
a) Ray is not a stuffed animal
2) eBay, dude
jlynes
+0 -0
Would you sleep in a bed you bought off eBay? I sure wouldn't. All bodily fluid stains on the pillowtop, all lice infesting the springs.
Would you sleep in a bed you bought off eBay? I sure wouldn't. All bodily fluid stains on the pillowtop, all lice infesting the springs.
wotown
+1 -0
Maybe Airworlf has a nice mattress in back.
Maybe Airworlf has a nice mattress in back.
rowboat
+0 -1
It's a test of my strength and of everything that I am not to lame this, sn0wman.
It's a fight.
But I'm winning.
It's a test of my strength and of everything that I am not to lame this, sn0wman.
It's a fight.
But I'm winning.
sn0wman
+0 -0
Lame away, man. Even I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
I'll blame the fact that it was 4 A.M. Yeah, that's the ticket...
Lame away, man. Even I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
I'll blame the fact that it was 4 A.M. Yeah, that's the ticket...
rowboat
+0 -0
No. I will not lame.
No. I will not lame.
drskradley
+0 -0
I admit that I lamed. Purely for the stuffed animal thing. I know it's pedantic and elitist, but I felt like it was necessary at the time.
I admit that I lamed. Purely for the stuffed animal thing. I know it's pedantic and elitist, but I felt like it was necessary at the time.
lawbot
+2 -0
...laming is the mind-killer, the little death...
...laming is the mind-killer, the little death...
biff
+1 -0
You are just trying to scare me.
You are just trying to scare me.
chuvak
+0 -1
THE LAME IS THE SPICE! THE SPICE IS THE LAME!
alternately:
FATHER! THE LAMER HAS AWAKENED!
THE LAME IS THE SPICE! THE SPICE IS THE LAME!
alternately:
FATHER! THE LAMER HAS AWAKENED!
tekende
+0 -0
A'IIIIIGGHT!
A'IIIIIGGHT!
hbaranov
+0 -0
He who controls the lame, controls the universe?
He who controls the lame, controls the universe?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
One lame to rule them all...And in the lameness bind them.
One lame to rule them all...And in the lameness bind them.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
dogg i'm certain he has like, seven of those in one guest room alone. he throws around money like it's only paper.
dogg i'm certain he has like, seven of those in one guest room alone. he throws around money like it's only paper.
whoisspain
+1 -0
Because the bed he gets mad rutty with the ladies in is a six hundo . Ray likes to let the ladies know they mean something.
Because the bed he gets mad rutty with the ladies in is a six hundo . Ray likes to let the ladies know they mean something.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Does it come with free refills on Extreme UltraKing Piss?
Does it come with free refills on Extreme UltraKing Piss?
lechatbotte
+0 -0
The Assetbar fairy grants you three virtual chubby wishes.
The Assetbar fairy grants you three virtual chubby wishes.
professorhazard
+2 -0
Ray sleeps on that shitty little bed because Little Nephew found it in an alley behind a Chinese place and sold it to Ray on eBay.
BILLY BARTY'S BED !AUTHENTIC! *MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE* LQQK
Ray sleeps on that shitty little bed because Little Nephew found it in an alley behind a Chinese place and sold it to Ray on eBay.
BILLY BARTY'S BED !AUTHENTIC! *MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE* LQQK
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Please tell me this is real.
Please tell me this is real.
dallovich
+0 -0
Actually I read a comment on an earlier strip that made alot of sense. It was something like this: "Because with such a small bed, the ladies either have to get out, or get busy".
Actually I read a comment on an earlier strip that made alot of sense. It was something like this: "Because with such a small bed, the ladies either have to get out, or get busy".
johnnyrocker
+0 -0
Ray used to have a bigger bed:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4xPGCP
This makes me wonder what happened to it!
I suspect termites.
Ray used to have a bigger bed:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua4xPGCP
This makes me wonder what happened to it!
I suspect termites.
crawfomp
+1 -1
Still, that looks like a really tight chick!
Still, that looks like a really tight chick!
coogs
+0 -0
oh man i get it :D
oh man i get it :D
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Funny, I'd have said the chick looked pleasingly loose.
Funny, I'd have said the chick looked pleasingly loose.
greatwhite
+0 -0
Rays life is not all glamor and glitz.
Rays life is not all glamor and glitz.
thedudeabides85
+1 -0
Panel 13: "Go get him, mommy! You can do it!"
Panel 13: "Go get him, mommy! You can do it!"
dreamachine
+7 -0
It's nice to have a member of your immediate family there to cheer you on as you initiate sex with a stranger.
It's nice to have a member of your immediate family there to cheer you on as you initiate sex with a stranger.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that which you have mentioned would make my sex drive stand up and walk away for months.
that which you have mentioned would make my sex drive stand up and walk away for months.
wittyname
+0 -0
This is probably the best comment anyone could have made on assetbar ever.
This is probably the best comment anyone could have made on assetbar ever.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
you have just won seven dollars. please hold.
you have just won seven dollars. please hold.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
.... Splut!!!
.... Splut!!!
autrepoupee
+3 -0
I get this comic, guys. That is Ray's Easter Prostitute. That is why she is a chicken. He requested a rabbit though, thus his initial disinterest.
I get this comic, guys. That is Ray's Easter Prostitute. That is why she is a chicken. He requested a rabbit though, thus his initial disinterest.
sn0wman
+2 -0
Damn, the Cadbury's Escort Agency makes that mistake every time.
Damn, the Cadbury's Escort Agency makes that mistake every time.
whoisspain
+0 -0
Although I assume the Caramel Rabbit only gets to go out if the Flake Girls are all busy.
Although I assume the Caramel Rabbit only gets to go out if the Flake Girls are all busy.
lawbot
+0 -0
She has had a long run. She is the madame now, and only visits the most favoured and log-running clients. Ray is not that old.
She has had a long run. She is the madame now, and only visits the most favoured and log-running clients. Ray is not that old.
catgrl131
+1 -0
Log-running?
Seven-Kinky!
Log-running?
Seven-Kinky!
sassacrass
+0 -0
i seriously just teared up...
damnit.
i seriously just teared up...
damnit.
a-halter
+0 -0
I'm perplexed and intrigued.
I'm perplexed and intrigued.
bilingualmonkey
+0 -0
Oh, I see. It's Easter.
Oh, I see. It's Easter.
tombsgrave
+0 -0
He hired that chickenstitute and by God he's going to have sex with her, be the mixed-race child there or not.
He hired that chickenstitute and by God he's going to have sex with her, be the mixed-race child there or not.
johnnyrocker
+1 -0
Ray looks so sad in the final panel.
Sad but a little determined.
Like "hey okay yes I am going to fuck this bird."
Ray looks so sad in the final panel.
Sad but a little determined.
Like "hey okay yes I am going to fuck this bird."
the_voice
+0 -0
Things have been set in motion, and to turn back would somehow be more crass than going forward.
Things have been set in motion, and to turn back would somehow be more crass than going forward.
loneal
+4 -0
The bird-child is so ashamed of his heritage that he begins to glow and eep.
It is okay, bird-child. That is the least shameful thing you are going to have to think about tonight.
The bird-child is so ashamed of his heritage that he begins to glow and eep.
It is okay, bird-child. That is the least shameful thing you are going to have to think about tonight.
vern
+0 -1
Hooray, a return to the off the wall bat-shit humour. It's been sorely lacking as of late. My favorite story arc is still the Cartilage Head. And I miss Trouble Man and No-No, the only Achewood characters I've actually taken the time to draw.
Hooray, a return to the off the wall bat-shit humour. It's been sorely lacking as of late. My favorite story arc is still the Cartilage Head. And I miss Trouble Man and No-No, the only Achewood characters I've actually taken the time to draw.
lara
+0 -0
Oh, Ray. Plumbing new depths.
Oh, Ray. Plumbing new depths.
agentj
+0 -0
"snif" is right...
"snif" is right...
linning
+12 -0
This changes my whole perspective on shit. I gotta get over to Loomis Pines and quiz my ma about all those school holidays where I'd have to wait on the porch of one of my many, many uncles houses while she did their taxes.
This changes my whole perspective on shit. I gotta get over to Loomis Pines and quiz my ma about all those school holidays where I'd have to wait on the porch of one of my many, many uncles houses while she did their taxes.
wigglestick
+0 -0
So good a chubby.
I hope you enjoy it.
So good a chubby.
I hope you enjoy it.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Man, "God, she's not at all what I wanted" made me laugh out loud in a startling guffaw for perhaps five seconds. FIVED.
Man, "God, she's not at all what I wanted" made me laugh out loud in a startling guffaw for perhaps five seconds. FIVED.
mujician
+0 -0
Well done Ray. You finally get what's yours.
Well done Ray. You finally get what's yours.
epitaph
+0 -0
Oh, man. Ray. It's Good Friday man, but whatever.
Oh, man. Ray. It's Good Friday man, but whatever.
ihmgard
+0 -0
I can Just hear Ray saying over the phone "Daaamn just send some chick already..." choose your words more carefully in the future Mr. Smuckles
I can Just hear Ray saying over the phone "Daaamn just send some chick already..." choose your words more carefully in the future Mr. Smuckles
evilernieuk
+0 -0
You beat me to that. Also I want to know who sends these 'chicks' out and how good they are...not for me for a friend....
You beat me to that. Also I want to know who sends these 'chicks' out and how good they are...not for me for a friend....
tekende
+0 -0
Dude, awesome avatar. That show rocked.
Dude, awesome avatar. That show rocked.
evilernieuk
+0 -0
cheers:) It was my childhood!
cheers:) It was my childhood!
skoora
+1 -0
What the fuck is that, a demon chicken?
What the fuck is that, a demon chicken?
dtuba
+0 -0
chubbied for perfect ACS (Avatar Comment Synergy).
chubbied for perfect ACS (Avatar Comment Synergy).
geigerdog
+0 -0
I just woke up hell of early and this strip feels all more appropriate/surreal for it.
I just woke up hell of early and this strip feels all more appropriate/surreal for it.
echidnaboy
+16 -0
This week on Literary Corner:
She had a young face, painted very thick. It was really the paint that appealed to me, the whiteness of it, like a mask, and the bright red lips.
There was a bed against the wall, and a lamp on the table, turned down very low.
She threw herself down on the bed, and at once, without any kind of preliminary, in the most coarse, horrible way you can imagine, pulled up her skirt.
I turned up the lamp.
When I saw her in the light she was quite an old woman, fifty years old at least. But I went ahead and did it just the same.
This week on Literary Corner:
She had a young face, painted very thick. It was really the paint that appealed to me, the whiteness of it, like a mask, and the bright red lips.
There was a bed against the wall, and a lamp on the table, turned down very low.
She threw herself down on the bed, and at once, without any kind of preliminary, in the most coarse, horrible way you can imagine, pulled up her skirt.
I turned up the lamp.
When I saw her in the light she was quite an old woman, fifty years old at least. But I went ahead and did it just the same.
salfordladsclub
+2 -0
...and from the corner, only the tiniest of rustles and a faint "peep"
...and from the corner, only the tiniest of rustles and a faint "peep"
echidnaboy
+5 -0
It occurs to me that, out of context, that's pretty oblique. It's from Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four .
There's a vaguely Lynchian dream-logic at work here, I think. Ray doesn't want a prostitute anymore, he certainly doesn't want this one, but he knows with glacial inevitability that he's going to have to fuck that bird.
It occurs to me that, out of context, that's pretty oblique. It's from Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four .
There's a vaguely Lynchian dream-logic at work here, I think. Ray doesn't want a prostitute anymore, he certainly doesn't want this one, but he knows with glacial inevitability that he's going to have to fuck that bird.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Last eight words are pronounced in Cockney accent.
Last eight words are pronounced in Cockney accent.
bumfighter
+0 -0
I actually imagined the crocodile hunter.
I actually imagined the crocodile hunter.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
There's not actually a huge difference.
"Eez g'nafta fack thet behd"
There's not actually a huge difference.
"Eez g'nafta fack thet behd"
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I got that it was from Nineteen Eighty-Four!
I feel so clever.
I got that it was from Nineteen Eighty-Four!
I feel so clever.
baryonyx
+0 -0
I wasn't going to say anything, but I as well felt immensely pleased with myself.
I wasn't going to say anything, but I as well felt immensely pleased with myself.
comrade_tom
+0 -1
Chubbying an Orwell quote is the nearest proxy to chubbying Orwell.
What we need more of is dystopias
Chubbying an Orwell quote is the nearest proxy to chubbying Orwell.
What we need more of is dystopias
tekende
+0 -0
Me tooo.
Me tooo.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
You've got to be willing to give it all up for an Orwell quote.
You've got to be willing to give it all up for an Orwell quote.
carten
+0 -1
The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are *you* doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.
The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are *you* doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillemnt. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night.
I can't believe no one got the quote! (Maybe they did, but didn't care?) I loved that movie. I snuck out of school and used a borrowed ID to see. "Lana" haunted my fantasies for monthes!
But this strip is more like, I'm expecting "Lana", and "Jackie" shows up, with her mixed race kid. And he don't even know he's mixed race, and gets all upset about being called it. And then, like, it's a complete pity-fuck, because like, it wouldn't be cool just to put her out, and I couldn't insult her worse by just paying her off. So no matter how bad it gets, I know I'm paying like twice the fee, and finding a new agency tomorrow. Maybe I'll have to move....
My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillemnt. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night.
I can't believe no one got the quote! (Maybe they did, but didn't care?) I loved that movie. I snuck out of school and used a borrowed ID to see. "Lana" haunted my fantasies for monthes!
But this strip is more like, I'm expecting "Lana", and "Jackie" shows up, with her mixed race kid. And he don't even know he's mixed race, and gets all upset about being called it. And then, like, it's a complete pity-fuck, because like, it wouldn't be cool just to put her out, and I couldn't insult her worse by just paying her off. So no matter how bad it gets, I know I'm paying like twice the fee, and finding a new agency tomorrow. Maybe I'll have to move....
duskbringer
+0 -0
I think this is like that scene in "Fire Walk With Me" where the little guy is talking backwards and making no sense... but it actually does on some subconscious level.
Eg: "Ray? Ray I'm a prostitute." Is an odd salutation. More is revealed when you play it backwards.
I think this is like that scene in "Fire Walk With Me" where the little guy is talking backwards and making no sense... but it actually does on some subconscious level.
Eg: "Ray? Ray I'm a prostitute." Is an odd salutation. More is revealed when you play it backwards.
ford
+0 -0
etutitsorp a m'i ?yaR
etutitsorp a m'i ?yaR
whoisspain
+1 -0
MUST. KILL. FOR. SATAN.
MUST. KILL. FOR. SATAN.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Uncanny.
Uncanny.
whoisspain
+0 -0
Well, it was either this or blame it on all the Doom I've been playing.
Well, it was either this or blame it on all the Doom I've been playing.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Doom and Marilyn Manson.
be fair.
Doom and Marilyn Manson.
be fair.
baryonyx
+0 -0
PROOF THAT VIDEO GAMES CAUSE ALL OF SOCIETY'S PROBLEMS.
PROOF THAT VIDEO GAMES CAUSE ALL OF SOCIETY'S PROBLEMS.
whoisspain
+1 -0
All of the really good problems, anyway. Urban sprawl and traffic congestion, not so much.
All of the really good problems, anyway. Urban sprawl and traffic congestion, not so much.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the really good problems or the really bad ones?
the really good problems or the really bad ones?
blindspot
+1 -0
You haven't seen the way I play SimCity, have you?
You haven't seen the way I play SimCity, have you?
plummet
+0 -0
A comment left by plummet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, goocifer, rowboat, odei, FirePowa8, catgrl131, farqussus, scraggg, I_Love_Kate, Teabag_Mel)
A comment left by plummet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, goocifer, rowboat, odei, FirePowa8, catgrl131, farqussus, scraggg, I_Love_Kate, Teabag_Mel)
joeyramoney
+1 -0
no, you almost certainly are not.
no, you almost certainly are not.
rowboat
+3 -2
wow i is soooo stone tat i rite lik ah retardid cus that wat pot dos
Go away.
wow i is soooo stone tat i rite lik ah retardid cus that wat pot dos
Go away.
ibetso
+0 -0
Don't go feeling bad for chickens people - they treat other creatures as sex objects too.
Don't go feeling bad for chickens people - they treat other creatures as sex objects too.
nikopol
+3 -0
"Is he... is he mixed race?"
That's right, Ray. He is part chicano(did you see what I did there).
"Is he... is he mixed race?"
That's right, Ray. He is part chicano(did you see what I did there).
joeyramoney
+0 -1
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK
wittyname
+6 -0
Phillipe! What a terrible thing to say!
Phillipe! What a terrible thing to say!
varnish
+0 -0
"He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision--he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath:
`The horror! The horror!'"
"He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision--he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath:
`The horror! The horror!'"
ragtagop
+0 -0
Ray supports working moms. Working moms with kids of mixed race.
Ray supports working moms. Working moms with kids of mixed race.
almostfearless
+0 -2
i just stayed up essentially for 4 days since monday for finals..celebrated tonight w/ a handle of patron in a most unsafe manner..woke up at 3 am when the adderall kicked in again..got up to check achewood and this is such a bizarre and hilarious strip that i had to sign up after a year of putting it off and comment on how wonderfully resplendently fucked up this is. lol.
i just stayed up essentially for 4 days since monday for finals..celebrated tonight w/ a handle of patron in a most unsafe manner..woke up at 3 am when the adderall kicked in again..got up to check achewood and this is such a bizarre and hilarious strip that i had to sign up after a year of putting it off and comment on how wonderfully resplendently fucked up this is. lol.
nymphadoria
+0 -0
Rays gonna be a very sad man while he bangs that chicken...a very very sad man.
Rays gonna be a very sad man while he bangs that chicken...a very very sad man.
nhennies
+0 -0
Fived so many times.
Fived so many times.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Well, just the once, really.
Unless you're talking on behalf of everyone who fived it.
Well, just the once, really.
Unless you're talking on behalf of everyone who fived it.
jorsh
+1 -0
Hey man that strip was pretty weird and kind of funny for reasons I don't understand, I'm going to logically dissect it to death until all joy has been properly ripped from it.
Hey man that strip was pretty weird and kind of funny for reasons I don't understand, I'm going to logically dissect it to death until all joy has been properly ripped from it.
farqussus
+4 -0
Well I'm going to make the same joke as the strip using different words, or extrapolate on the theme as if I'm being creative.
Well I'm going to make the same joke as the strip using different words, or extrapolate on the theme as if I'm being creative.
bixschmix
+1 -0
I'm going to come in late and make a witty non-sequitur!
I'm going to come in late and make a witty non-sequitur!
augeno13
+0 -0
I'll restate what you said but in a way that Roast Beef might, maybe!
I'll restate what you said but in a way that Roast Beef might, maybe!
rowboat
+0 -1
NO.
[that's what I'll say]
NO.
[that's what I'll say]
irondave
+0 -0
I will tag along to lament the depletion of my chubby supply and send virtual chubbies to each of you.
I will tag along to lament the depletion of my chubby supply and send virtual chubbies to each of you.
farqussus
+0 -0
QUOTE FROM AN OLD AND UNRELATED COMIC! MISSPELT!
QUOTE FROM AN OLD AND UNRELATED COMIC! MISSPELT!
wigglestick
+0 -0
Additional quote from an old and unrelated comic! Spelling and punctuation looked up in the archive for purposes of exact duplication!
Not that I did that earlier in these comments, or anything.
Additional quote from an old and unrelated comic! Spelling and punctuation looked up in the archive for purposes of exact duplication!
Not that I did that earlier in these comments, or anything.
lawbot
+0 -0
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S APPOSITE
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S APPOSITE
tekende
+0 -0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
thaco
+0 -0
Ray is a cat?
Ray is a cat?
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, randombeing, quardox, NinjaEin)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, randombeing, quardox, NinjaEin)
professorhazard
+19 -0
Are they... are they mixed race?
Are they... are they mixed race?
ninjaein
+0 -0
And why in God's green earth are you showing Achewood to your kids? It clearly says on the bottom of the front page:
Get Out of Here
Achewood is not for readers under 18 years of age.
That, dear acquaintance, is an EPIC FAIL both for parenting and in common sense.
And why in God's green earth are you showing Achewood to your kids? It clearly says on the bottom of the front page:
Get Out of Here
Achewood is not for readers under 18 years of age.
That, dear acquaintance, is an EPIC FAIL both for parenting and in common sense.
odei
+3 -0
Achewood. You know, for kids.
Achewood. You know, for kids.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well apparently some one believed the disclaimer that O was getting into Education.
Education .
well apparently some one believed the disclaimer that O was getting into Education.
Education .
miku224
+0 -0
God damn it I want to give this comment a chubby.
God damn it I want to give this comment a chubby.
jlynes
+0 -0
Chubbied in your stead.
By Proxy, one might say.
Chubbied in your stead.
By Proxy, one might say.
tekende
+0 -0
I see what you did there.
I see what you did there.
jlynes
+0 -0
Gooooooooo EAGLES!
Gooooooooo EAGLES!
irondave
+0 -0
Oh, what are the chances that he actually has kids?
Oh, what are the chances that he actually has kids?
chuvak
+0 -0
still how are you going to make sure your kids grow up able to hang with the dirtiest dudes in town if you don't get 'em started on the right footsie?
still how are you going to make sure your kids grow up able to hang with the dirtiest dudes in town if you don't get 'em started on the right footsie?
yamo
+0 -0
Creepiest Achewood ever. Love it.
Creepiest Achewood ever. Love it.
nickgranger
+0 -0
AMAZING
AMAZING
the_doz
+2 -0
Jesus, where did Onstad learn to draw chickens?
Jesus, where did Onstad learn to draw chickens?
nickgranger
+0 -0
they are obviously not normal chickens. he has drawn normal chickens before. these birds are on some other shit
they are obviously not normal chickens. he has drawn normal chickens before. these birds are on some other shit
avocado
+0 -0
I like that she introduces herself by saying "Ray? Ray, I'm a prostitute."
I like that she introduces herself by saying "Ray? Ray, I'm a prostitute."
professorhazard
+0 -0
Ray? I can't start the machine without three men. The Japanese.
Ray? I can't start the machine without three men. The Japanese.
tommythebrat
+0 -0
With her kid right there and everything.
With her kid right there and everything.
ctrl_z
+0 -0
D:
D:
bjorntd
+0 -0
CORRECT.
CORRECT.
dallovich
+0 -1
This is the scary counterpart to the strip "Ray get's sort of stoned": "Ray get's sort of hallucinated"!
This is the scary counterpart to the strip "Ray get's sort of stoned": "Ray get's sort of hallucinated"!
pmoney187
+1 -0
Dude is so hard, he sleeps with his glasses on.
Dude is so hard, he sleeps with his glasses on.
professorhazard
+2 -1
Hey, rookie! Do us a favor and find us a link to that strip that shows Ray's eyes. You know the one. Thanks, champ.
Hey, rookie! Do us a favor and find us a link to that strip that shows Ray's eyes. You know the one. Thanks, champ.
bjorntd
+1 -0
While you're looking, I'm going to need the last post, an ID Ten T form, and a bucket of elbow grease.
While you're looking, I'm going to need the last post, an ID Ten T form, and a bucket of elbow grease.
irondave
+1 -0
Don't forget the blinker fluid and the prop wash.
Don't forget the blinker fluid and the prop wash.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
pick up a new directional pump while you're at it, too.
pick up a new directional pump while you're at it, too.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I'd be remiss in not requesting a freshly-caught snipe, while you're at it. Try luring it with some prop wash.
'PRECIATE IT
I'd be remiss in not requesting a freshly-caught snipe, while you're at it. Try luring it with some prop wash.
'PRECIATE IT
irondave
+0 -0
Also Fallopian tubes. Three of them.
Also Fallopian tubes. Three of them.
dtuba
+0 -0
Do you have the Beatles White Album?
Also, bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia. Thanks.
Do you have the Beatles White Album?
Also, bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia. Thanks.
the_clarkness
+0 -0
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=12052003
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=12052003
professorhazard
+0 -0
Good work, PaRappa. You can go on to the next stage.
Good work, PaRappa. You can go on to the next stage.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I am pretty sure that if you get twisty as often as Ray you will probably fall asleep with whatever is on your body.
I mean, every once in a while a man sleeps wearing cowboy boots or a tuxedo or maybe just an apron and nothing else.
Glasses is small beans.
I am pretty sure that if you get twisty as often as Ray you will probably fall asleep with whatever is on your body.
I mean, every once in a while a man sleeps wearing cowboy boots or a tuxedo or maybe just an apron and nothing else.
Glasses is small beans.
evolume
+1 -1
What's more, he rubs his eyes with his glasses on.
What's more, he rubs his eyes with his glasses on.
lenoxus
+0 -0
I'm noticing a strong similarity between the mother's face and the faces of some cartoon aliens from a children's book. All I remember for certain is that the aliens were birdlike and enjoyed jumping; the book taught some kind of important lesson about jumping. (I think they lived on the moon and took advantage of the lower gravity. I'm also vaguely recalling that some of them attended a "Mooniversity.") Is any of this striking a bell for anyone else?
I'm noticing a strong similarity between the mother's face and the faces of some cartoon aliens from a children's book. All I remember for certain is that the aliens were birdlike and enjoyed jumping; the book taught some kind of important lesson about jumping. (I think they lived on the moon and took advantage of the lower gravity. I'm also vaguely recalling that some of them attended a "Mooniversity.") Is any of this striking a bell for anyone else?
professorhazard
+0 -0
This sounds like a question for jlynes.
This sounds like a question for jlynes.
solle
+1 -0
Do-Do Bird from Porky In Wackyland.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porky_in_Wackyland
Do-Do Bird from Porky In Wackyland.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porky_in_Wackyland
solle
+0 -0
And a YouTube:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=arNNWKYkc3I
And a YouTube:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=arNNWKYkc3I
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I feel as though you're talking about The Clangers.
Although the only real similarity is that they live on the moon, so probably not.
I feel as though you're talking about The Clangers.
Although the only real similarity is that they live on the moon, so probably not.
tekende
+0 -0
The Clangers sounds like a quintessentially British entertainment product. Like no other nationality would have thought of it.
Please tell me I'm right about that.
The Clangers sounds like a quintessentially British entertainment product. Like no other nationality would have thought of it.
Please tell me I'm right about that.
echidnaboy
+0 -0
You are completely and utterly correct.
You are completely and utterly correct.
professorx
+1 -0
This strip has finally prompted me to get an account and make a post.
Someone made a Twin Peaks reference, but this strip screams "Eraserhead" -- earlier and more disturbing David Lynch.
This strip has finally prompted me to get an account and make a post.
Someone made a Twin Peaks reference, but this strip screams "Eraserhead" -- earlier and more disturbing David Lynch.
edjarosu
+0 -0
Seriously, here are my thoughts coming straight off this strip.
Step 1: Onstad rewatch Eraserhead.
Step 2: Onstad write strip.
Seriously, here are my thoughts coming straight off this strip.
Step 1: Onstad rewatch Eraserhead.
Step 2: Onstad write strip.
dovey
+0 -0
You got what you wanted, you bastards. Now the Achewood machine is broken.
You got what you wanted, you bastards. Now the Achewood machine is broken.
fattybeaver
+2 -2
nothing makes a guy feel bigger than doing a small bird.
nothing makes a guy feel bigger than doing a small bird.
oleub
+0 -0
oh shit accidental lame
oh shit accidental lame
blueloggy
+0 -0
The boobs distracted you, didn't they.
The boobs distracted you, didn't they.
professorhazard
+0 -0
oh shit accidental chubby
oh shit accidental chubby
krockhool
+1 -0
Sometimes a player needs a plume job. Simple as that.
Sometimes a player needs a plume job. Simple as that.
kensai
+0 -0
This feels very 2003. In a good way.
This feels very 2003. In a good way.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Heyo, is that Shane from his "pretty-boy" years?
Heyo, is that Shane from his "pretty-boy" years?
rowboat
+0 -0
"Pretty-boy" years? Is that when he had five teeth instead of two?
"Pretty-boy" years? Is that when he had five teeth instead of two?
kensai
+1 -0
Nah. This is Shane from the 90s.
These are the pretty boy years.
[IMGS OFF]
Nah. This is Shane from the 90s.
These are the pretty boy years.
[IMGS OFF]
spinynorman
+0 -0
Haha, yep. There he is. God bless that face.
Note the quotation marks around the words "pretty" and "boy." Those were neither typos nor incidental.
Haha, yep. There he is. God bless that face.
Note the quotation marks around the words "pretty" and "boy." Those were neither typos nor incidental.
kensai
+0 -0
Yeah, like any man can resist those smiling blue eyes when they aren't bloodshot.
Yeah, like any man can resist those smiling blue eyes when they aren't bloodshot.
kensai
+3 -0
Wait a minute, in a comic about chickens, while talking about Macgowan, we both missed the song cue?
I gave you misery I gave you lies
I never hurt you, apologize
I love your lips, I love your eyes
I love your breasts, I love your thighs
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Wait a minute, in a comic about chickens, while talking about Macgowan, we both missed the song cue?
I gave you misery I gave you lies
I never hurt you, apologize
I love your lips, I love your eyes
I love your breasts, I love your thighs
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
boscostacy
+0 -0
A thousand chubbies to you, sir!
OK, just the one this time.
A thousand chubbies to you, sir!
OK, just the one this time.
singtralala
+0 -1
ok, thanks to this strip i'll just have to say NO to absynthe
ok, thanks to this strip i'll just have to say NO to absynthe
flazisismuss
+1 -1
It is a distinct and indescribable pleasure that every man who enjoys booze should try at least twice. I recommend it be tried thusly. Buy a bottle. Estimate your tolerance for a 110-proof liquor, and pour 2/3 of that amount into a smaller bottle. Mail the original bottle to someone in a different state or country. Have someone you trust hide your keys, wallet, and cell phone from you. Drink a lot of water and have some aspirin. Make sure you are near a toilet and your own bed. Drink the absinthe slowly, poured very cold over sugar cubes. Watch baseball and go to sleep happy. Hopefully wake up the next day.
Ever since I figured out the right way to drink absinthe it's been good clean fun.
It is a distinct and indescribable pleasure that every man who enjoys booze should try at least twice. I recommend it be tried thusly. Buy a bottle. Estimate your tolerance for a 110-proof liquor, and pour 2/3 of that amount into a smaller bottle. Mail the original bottle to someone in a different state or country. Have someone you trust hide your keys, wallet, and cell phone from you. Drink a lot of water and have some aspirin. Make sure you are near a toilet and your own bed. Drink the absinthe slowly, poured very cold over sugar cubes. Watch baseball and go to sleep happy. Hopefully wake up the next day.
Ever since I figured out the right way to drink absinthe it's been good clean fun.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
Absinthe is really not as scary as legend has made it out to be. You get a very lucid buzz and a very nice 'aura' but no nightmare-inducing hallucinations, and this is with the real stuff from the Czech republic that has a decent amount of thujone (most other countries restrict the thujone content). It helps if you create some sort of atmosphere - a darkened room, preferably with candles, a member of the sex to which you happen to be attracted, and something suitably dark on the juke. Do not under any circumstances watch baseball.
Absinthe is really not as scary as legend has made it out to be. You get a very lucid buzz and a very nice 'aura' but no nightmare-inducing hallucinations, and this is with the real stuff from the Czech republic that has a decent amount of thujone (most other countries restrict the thujone content). It helps if you create some sort of atmosphere - a darkened room, preferably with candles, a member of the sex to which you happen to be attracted, and something suitably dark on the juke. Do not under any circumstances watch baseball.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
I haven't had any Czech absinthe. I've had French, Spanish, Swiss, and German. Can you really tell the difference with the higher-thujone Czech stuff?
I agree that the reputation it has is way overblown but light drinkers should not try it at all, mainly due to the high alcohol content. It gives me a great happy creative buzz. You are wrong about one thing: watching baseball while drinking absinthe is fantastic. Preferably a Dodgers-Padres game with Vin Scully.
I haven't had any Czech absinthe. I've had French, Spanish, Swiss, and German. Can you really tell the difference with the higher-thujone Czech stuff?
I agree that the reputation it has is way overblown but light drinkers should not try it at all, mainly due to the high alcohol content. It gives me a great happy creative buzz. You are wrong about one thing: watching baseball while drinking absinthe is fantastic. Preferably a Dodgers-Padres game with Vin Scully.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I haven't had the highest concentration Czech stuff. The bottle of Trul that I have is 35mg/kg. I believe there are some that go as high as 70. Supposedly the stuff they drank back in the day went up to 260. I haven't had any of the lower-content stuff either, so I can't compare, but the feeling is very distinct and lasts several hours. Most other types of alcohol make me sleepy rather quickly.
I haven't had the highest concentration Czech stuff. The bottle of Trul that I have is 35mg/kg. I believe there are some that go as high as 70. Supposedly the stuff they drank back in the day went up to 260. I haven't had any of the lower-content stuff either, so I can't compare, but the feeling is very distinct and lasts several hours. Most other types of alcohol make me sleepy rather quickly.
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't know anything about absinthe, but I will say that if Vin Scully were our President, I'd gladly march into any war (just or unjust) that he saw fit to wage.
I don't like to consider what this says about me, but it's totally true.
I don't know anything about absinthe, but I will say that if Vin Scully were our President, I'd gladly march into any war (just or unjust) that he saw fit to wage.
I don't like to consider what this says about me, but it's totally true.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
It says something good about you I think. If someone offered to have either Vin Scully or Keith Jackson narrate a day in my life, I would do a lot of bad shit for that.
It says something good about you I think. If someone offered to have either Vin Scully or Keith Jackson narrate a day in my life, I would do a lot of bad shit for that.
tekende
+0 -0
Quote:
Is this because absinthe is likely to cause mad ruttiness to ensue?
I hope that was the right bbcode code...
Quote:
a member of the sex to which you happen to be attracted
Is this because absinthe is likely to cause mad ruttiness to ensue?
I hope that was the right bbcode code...
jonshelton
+0 -0
I am so scared right now.
I am so scared right now.
thorfinn
+1 -0
I love your feet
I love your breasts
I love the way you eat gravel
to help you digest
Oh, my little chicken
I love your feet
I love your breasts
I love the way you eat gravel
to help you digest
Oh, my little chicken
toiletstore
+0 -0
This strip gets a five for completely and utterly mindfucking me.
This strip gets a five for completely and utterly mindfucking me.
patware
+0 -0
This strip is taking no prisoners.
This strip is taking no prisoners.
deovalente
+0 -0
Oh. Oh. My heart, it hurts . How can something so absurd be so heart-wrenching?
Oh. Oh. My heart, it hurts . How can something so absurd be so heart-wrenching?
justa
+0 -1
Alternate title: "Ray sort of drops some acid."
Alternate title: "Ray sort of drops some acid."
toddzballz
+1 -0
Achewood hasn't made me feel this way in a long time, actually. Since Cartilage Head, at least. I'm so so happy right now.
Achewood hasn't made me feel this way in a long time, actually. Since Cartilage Head, at least. I'm so so happy right now.
lawbot
+0 -0
YES
YES
aristagoras
+0 -0
THIS is why I read Achewood. It's Lynchian without being forced. And it doesn't require a ton of dialogue and a cartoon cat actually like a 1940's bad-ass.
THIS is why I read Achewood. It's Lynchian without being forced. And it doesn't require a ton of dialogue and a cartoon cat actually like a 1940's bad-ass.
professorhazard
+1 -0
For your health.
For your health.
daidai
+0 -0
Oh. Wow.
Oh. Wow.
dew_n_o
+0 -0
This is one of the best strips ever. Words cannot express my enthusiasm; I shall not even attempt.
This is one of the best strips ever. Words cannot express my enthusiasm; I shall not even attempt.
vondicus
+2 -0
"Ray is having that terrible dream we all have where we go through the motions with a prostitute even though we really don't want to. The dream shows that even though we think we want sex, life is terrible."
And so it is.
"Ray is having that terrible dream we all have where we go through the motions with a prostitute even though we really don't want to. The dream shows that even though we think we want sex, life is terrible."
And so it is.
hamscout
+15 -0
I think we're getting it all wrong..
The prostitute is the half-breed. Ray wonders if "her" offspring is as well.
The prostitute came from Ray's absinthe-soaked desire to lay with the fusion of Easter's symbols...
[IMGS OFF]
...chicks and peeps!
(Be gentle with me, Assetbar...it's my first time...*click*)
I think we're getting it all wrong..
The prostitute is the half-breed. Ray wonders if "her" offspring is as well.
The prostitute came from Ray's absinthe-soaked desire to lay with the fusion of Easter's symbols...
[IMGS OFF]
...chicks and peeps!
(Be gentle with me, Assetbar...it's my first time...*click*)
rowboat
+0 -1
Well done. That's a lot of BB to gamble with your first time out, but it paid off.
One thing, though - your avatar is just a white box with a red X in it. I'm using Explorer.
Whatever. Welcome.
Well done. That's a lot of BB to gamble with your first time out, but it paid off.
One thing, though - your avatar is just a white box with a red X in it. I'm using Explorer.
Whatever. Welcome.
spectre
+0 -0
Yeah, you rock, hamscout. Go to the kitchen and help yourself the primo salmon and some Ketel One.
Yeah, you rock, hamscout. Go to the kitchen and help yourself the primo salmon and some Ketel One.
synnah
+1 -0
You like Ketel One, right?
You like Ketel One, right?
lawbot
+0 -0
Sadly, chubbies are in short supply.
Sadly, chubbies are in short supply.
brokeaccount
+1 -0
Wait... It's time for my back medicine.
Wait... It's time for my back medicine.
spectre
+0 -0
It's OK. The point is, RAY like Ketel One, to the point of obsession.
It's OK. The point is, RAY like Ketel One, to the point of obsession.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Poor Ray. I feel for the guy. If you're unhappy with most products or services, you can either return them, demand a refund, or not consume them. To do any of those things with the services in question profoundly humiliates the buyer and the seller. You're committed to doing something sordid you now have no desire to do.
Doing sordid things should be more fun than this. Dunkel ist das Leben, ist der Tod. Darkness is life, darkness is death.
Poor Ray. I feel for the guy. If you're unhappy with most products or services, you can either return them, demand a refund, or not consume them. To do any of those things with the services in question profoundly humiliates the buyer and the seller. You're committed to doing something sordid you now have no desire to do.
Doing sordid things should be more fun than this. Dunkel ist das Leben, ist der Tod. Darkness is life, darkness is death.
syx
+0 -0
A comment left by syx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by c_dizzle, quardox, Comrade_Tom)
A comment left by syx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by c_dizzle, quardox, Comrade_Tom)
le_baron_noir
+0 -0
If your two cents was intended to make me feel even weirder and worse about this than I did before, it was well spent.
If your two cents was intended to make me feel even weirder and worse about this than I did before, it was well spent.
deusoma
+0 -0
Oh my God now I can't not see it that way. You are amazing. Horrible, but still amazing.
Oh my God now I can't not see it that way. You are amazing. Horrible, but still amazing.
evolume
+0 -1
haha, the chicken is all "tap tap" instead of "knock knock" i love it.
haha, the chicken is all "tap tap" instead of "knock knock" i love it.
miseryandthesun
+0 -1
It's scary to ask about mixed race.
It's scary to ask about mixed race.
buenothebear
+15 -0
Jeez Laweez!
[IMGS OFF]
click that prostitute image for a little turn around animation i made.. .. i..i had to make something... all i could say was "jeez laweez" all morning.
Jeez Laweez!
[IMGS OFF]
click that prostitute image for a little turn around animation i made.. .. i..i had to make something... all i could say was "jeez laweez" all morning.
baryonyx
+0 -1
Scariest thing I've seen since the DVD menu for The Ring .
Scariest thing I've seen since the DVD menu for The Ring .
odei
+0 -1
I AM DYING INSIDE.
I AM DYING INSIDE.
mortshire
+7 -2
YOU MADE INCORPOREAL SPACE JESUS CRY, MR. WARD:
[IMGS OFF]
And it's almost his rebirthday, too!
YOU MADE INCORPOREAL SPACE JESUS CRY, MR. WARD:
[IMGS OFF]
And it's almost his rebirthday, too!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
wrong! it IS his rebirthday!
wrong! it IS his rebirthday!
mortshire
+0 -0
Sweet Zombie Jesus!
Sweet Zombie Jesus!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Or, as the re-runs say, Sweet Zombie _____!
Or, as the re-runs say, Sweet Zombie _____!
nutmeg
+0 -0
bueno, mega virtual chubbies for you. and love. virtual love.
bueno, mega virtual chubbies for you. and love. virtual love.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I thought it was an Incorporeal space Sellasse (spelling?) for a second there.
shit i should really stop listening to reggae this late at night.
I thought it was an Incorporeal space Sellasse (spelling?) for a second there.
shit i should really stop listening to reggae this late at night.
bluejay
+0 -0
fucking sick man.
fucking sick man.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I am glad I saved my chubbies for this.
I am glad I saved my chubbies for this.
possums
+1 -1
Ray? Ray, I'm a prostitute.
Ray? Ray, I'm a prostitute.
lawbot
+0 -0
Your avatar makes this even better.
Your avatar makes this even better.
u235
+0 -0
Is it just me or does Ray's gut look extra-big in this one?
Is it just me or does Ray's gut look extra-big in this one?
wittyname
+0 -0
And he looked like he was losing weight too.
And he looked like he was losing weight too.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
when you lay on a bed, gravity works against you and you look larger than you normally would.
when you lay on a bed, gravity works against you and you look larger than you normally would.
c_dizzle
+0 -1
For all his bling you'd think Ray'd have bought himself a bigger bed by now.
For all his bling you'd think Ray'd have bought himself a bigger bed by now.
jamsok
+0 -0
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
lechatbotte
+0 -0
WTF?
WTF?
c_dizzle
+0 -0
The floppy upper lip in panel 11...
"A-BLOOOOOOOO....A-BLOOOOO-BLOOOOOOOO"
The floppy upper lip in panel 11...
"A-BLOOOOOOOO....A-BLOOOOO-BLOOOOOOOO"
tragicone
+0 -0
A comment left by tragicone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sabbac, salfordladsclub, NinjaEin)
A comment left by tragicone was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sabbac, salfordladsclub, NinjaEin)
drskradley
+0 -0
Ray is tripping out in a tired, fucked up way.
She brought her child. Ray is sad about her and her child's life, and sad that he has to have sex with her.
Ray is tripping out in a tired, fucked up way.
She brought her child. Ray is sad about her and her child's life, and sad that he has to have sex with her.
dino_grill
+0 -0
the man has made a commitment to the lady.
also isn't there a metallica video with a similar plot?
the man has made a commitment to the lady.
also isn't there a metallica video with a similar plot?
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Ray is only smiling a bit in 8 because he has a hope that if he can get her talking about the kid, he'll be able to miss out on feathers gone wild. But his hope is inexorably crushed. The kid peeps in distress, mom sheds a tear, and there is nothing left to talk about. He has no other option but to lift up the sheet and deal.
Somtimes having unlimited fundage and solid access to anything ain't all it's cracked up to be.
Ray is only smiling a bit in 8 because he has a hope that if he can get her talking about the kid, he'll be able to miss out on feathers gone wild. But his hope is inexorably crushed. The kid peeps in distress, mom sheds a tear, and there is nothing left to talk about. He has no other option but to lift up the sheet and deal.
Somtimes having unlimited fundage and solid access to anything ain't all it's cracked up to be.
unsentletter
+0 -0
WHAT
I'm-a interested to see how Onstad continues this particular line on narrative.
WHAT
I'm-a interested to see how Onstad continues this particular line on narrative.
phthoggos
+0 -0
I think you will be disappointed.
I think you will be disappointed.
baryonyx
+0 -0
A comment left by baryonyx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, catgrl131, Johnnyrocker)
A comment left by baryonyx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, catgrl131, Johnnyrocker)
baryonyx
+0 -0
You lame me, but was I right? Was I??
You lame me, but was I right? Was I??
darleen
+0 -0
I keep looking at the chicken thing from a different angle thinking that maybe it makes a hidden picture. All I've gotten so far is that the bottom part kinda looks like a smiling whale...
I keep looking at the chicken thing from a different angle thinking that maybe it makes a hidden picture. All I've gotten so far is that the bottom part kinda looks like a smiling whale...
comrade_tom
+1 -0
Ray is not Christopher Walken.
Achewood is not the Deer hunter.
Ray is not Christopher Walken.
Achewood is not the Deer hunter.
stuntman
+3 -0
who came first, the chicken or...ray?
who came first, the chicken or...ray?
gowerski
+3 -0
"strangest little things, the size of my fist. Man- made."
"just cut them like regular chickens"
*orgasms
"strangest little things, the size of my fist. Man- made."
"just cut them like regular chickens"
*orgasms
nutmeg
+0 -0
more meaningless virtual chubbies for you i'm out
more meaningless virtual chubbies for you i'm out
arbie
+1 -0
The agency only deals with toy distribution and Hasbro merchandising to rural Toys R Us stores. It's Ray who fucked up here by getting blitzed and buying the company rolodex off of a fellow Crawler at the party. They probably looked at a brochure together and ratcheted up the dares and loose talk.
"Fine dogg you choose it, but two rules. One, it stands up. Two, it's not one of the mainstay talkers. No bigger turnoff than being up inside something that calls its own name."
The agency only deals with toy distribution and Hasbro merchandising to rural Toys R Us stores. It's Ray who fucked up here by getting blitzed and buying the company rolodex off of a fellow Crawler at the party. They probably looked at a brochure together and ratcheted up the dares and loose talk.
"Fine dogg you choose it, but two rules. One, it stands up. Two, it's not one of the mainstay talkers. No bigger turnoff than being up inside something that calls its own name."
airshipp
+0 -0
this is just terrible
this is just terrible
metatronatra
+0 -0
Surreal.
Surreal.
metatronatra
+0 -0
I apologise if this has already been said, but what if... the smaller one is actually the mother? Or perhaps not even a woman?! At first, I thought her son was getting in to bed because I didn't realise how small they both were, but then I thought perhaps I was operating under a false assumption; the prostitute could, in fact, be either gender, and it is never said which strange creature the son is... I sense I'm thinking about this too much.
I apologise if this has already been said, but what if... the smaller one is actually the mother? Or perhaps not even a woman?! At first, I thought her son was getting in to bed because I didn't realise how small they both were, but then I thought perhaps I was operating under a false assumption; the prostitute could, in fact, be either gender, and it is never said which strange creature the son is... I sense I'm thinking about this too much.
achewood
+0 -0
Ray does not abide fowl mutts.
Ray does not abide fowl mutts.
randyleepublic
+5 -0
Wait a minute - how does this affect Ray's status as a "Breast" Man?
(Sorry, I couldn't help it. :D )
Wait a minute - how does this affect Ray's status as a "Breast" Man?
(Sorry, I couldn't help it. :D )
lawbot
+0 -0
NO
(but with the utmost respect)
NO
(but with the utmost respect)
baryonyx
+0 -0
I need to know, what the devil is your avatar? I'm seeing an octopus in a mask devouring a mountain.
I need to know, what the devil is your avatar? I'm seeing an octopus in a mask devouring a mountain.
lawbot
+0 -0
Nearly.
It's the base of a protomacheus squid, with human-like teeth. The orifice you see is the mouth, the tentacles are ranged around that, and the rest of the body is hidden behind itself.
Nearly.
It's the base of a protomacheus squid, with human-like teeth. The orifice you see is the mouth, the tentacles are ranged around that, and the rest of the body is hidden behind itself.
biff
+0 -0
That picture original at its original size is one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. At the size it is shown as your avatar it is hard to discern its disturbing nature, but I have a very good memory for that kind of thing.
Jibblie jibblie jibblie
That picture original at its original size is one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. At the size it is shown as your avatar it is hard to discern its disturbing nature, but I have a very good memory for that kind of thing.
Jibblie jibblie jibblie
jordstar
+0 -0
NO
[i]Promachoteuthis sulcus[/i} from BoingBoing . But forgiven since that's a hell of a species name to correctly remember.
NO
[i]Promachoteuthis sulcus[/i} from BoingBoing . But forgiven since that's a hell of a species name to correctly remember.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
This strip hell of depresses me.
This strip hell of depresses me.
bluejay
+0 -0
Last 3 Achewoods, hitting them out of the fucking park. I don't know what this comic means and A .
Last 3 Achewoods, hitting them out of the fucking park. I don't know what this comic means and A .
bluejay
+0 -0
A plus.
A plus.
ampkit5
+1 -0
Happy Easter, Achewood!
Happy Easter, Achewood!
jar
+0 -0
Ray had his "A BLOO BLA BLOO BLOO BLOOOO!", face on there for a bit.
Ray had his "A BLOO BLA BLOO BLOO BLOOOO!", face on there for a bit.
wonelove
+0 -0
Hm...
I just noticed..
Ray rubs his glasses, not his eyes.
and he SLEEPS with his glasses.
Hm...
I just noticed..
Ray rubs his glasses, not his eyes.
and he SLEEPS with his glasses.
odei
+0 -0
I'm really looking forward to the next strip, not because I'm excited but because I won't have to look at this one anymore (I still gave it a 5, in case you were wondering).
I'm really looking forward to the next strip, not because I'm excited but because I won't have to look at this one anymore (I still gave it a 5, in case you were wondering).
professorhazard
+0 -0
F5-ing like the Fist of the North Star
F5-ing like the Fist of the North Star
pogo
+0 -0
Hah! Wait until you see the Monday strip, odei. You'll wish you were back in Friday's.
Hah! Wait until you see the Monday strip, odei. You'll wish you were back in Friday's.
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
its a chick lol
its a chick lol
sheriff_mittens
+0 -0
Maybe someone already brought this up, but Ray looks a lot like George W. Bush in panel 11.
Maybe someone already brought this up, but Ray looks a lot like George W. Bush in panel 11.
bigoljon
+0 -0
Tis a chickenhead.
Tis a chickenhead.
airshipp
+0 -0
it's times like these, when he draws comics about a cat having sex with a chicken for money while her child watches, that I become really worried about Onstad's problems
it's times like these, when he draws comics about a cat having sex with a chicken for money while her child watches, that I become really worried about Onstad's problems
maximus
+0 -0
panel 11 Ray is looking a little Hanna Barbera, no?
panel 11 Ray is looking a little Hanna Barbera, no?
giantants
+0 -0
This is just like when I was too stoned to watch Eraserhead but I finished it anyway and I couldn't look at or talk to anything for two days without almost vomiting, especially if it whined or vibrated.
This is just like when I was too stoned to watch Eraserhead but I finished it anyway and I couldn't look at or talk to anything for two days without almost vomiting, especially if it whined or vibrated.
hypoluxa
+0 -0
Simply hilarious.
Simply hilarious.
toiletstore
+0 -0
Two months later, this is my favorite Achewood strip behind Ray Gets Sort Of Stoned.
Two months later, this is my favorite Achewood strip behind Ray Gets Sort Of Stoned.
norsef
+0 -0
Ray's a guy who would rather fuck a chicken than hurt it's self esteem.
Ray's a guy who would rather fuck a chicken than hurt it's self esteem.
wfl
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
A comment left by geysershitdick was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, pear, decanter)
A comment left by johnnyc was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by reburn, InspectorGadget, decanter, esoominim)
A comment left by jay-are was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by evolume, Sprog, the_dingle)
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by atticusonline, the_dingle, senorspoof, kforkarl)
I sorta understand whats going on but...
What the fuck is that thing? A chicken?
Also, do we even know for certain that it's a female?
The weird thing is, it ain't like the dude doesn't know how to draw a chicken .
The, er, kid chicken is pretty obviously a 'real' chicken, too, seems the mommy's the one who's mixed race... Which sort of sparks a bizarro 'which came first'-question.
Perhaps this is the Quail Jesus we've been waiting for all this time.
Do not forget DAH-vi-day .
I think its a partridge
[IMGS OFF]
i was under the impression that it was a pokemon
A comment left by kb was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hellofyellin, evolume, NeoNaoNeo, Afkpuz, skjames, opalleye)
That funky bird looks like a cross between a Pidgey and a Skarmory (not shown on your chart). But round like a Jigglypuff.
Do you mean the one in the bottom right, the torchic, or the evolved togepi thing?
Oh god I haven't even played a pokemon game in like seven years.
It's just as well. Pokemon's gotten kind of out of hand since the simple days when all I had to do was catch 150 pokemon.
I can't believe I've seen enough Sliders to instantly recognise your avatar.
Do you get this reaction often?
Whatchoo talkin bout? That's Garth Marenghi.
Horror Writer, Dreamweaver, Visionary. plus Actor.
dude, i completely found you on the internet. It was the combination of rum, cut offs and metal that gave you away.
Thats some nice detective work dave
It was clearly insight beyond your ability to fathom sam.
This seems like the start of a dark, dark arc. I am harboring a raging chubby-of-anticipation for the next few strips.
Don't genetically engineer crabs to be as big as men.
I should hope not. I too realised, that it was from Sliders, right around the time I read your post. What a talentless hack I am?
I've never seen sliders in my life so I have no idea what you are talking about. As the two posts replying to yours point out, it's from Darkplace, one of the best british comedies of this decade.
I've seen probably two half episodes of Sliders , but I know what you're talking about. Those star things are marks of power or something, and one of the guys with the mark tries to mack on the chick and she turns him down and he says "don't you know what I could do with this?" and shows her the hand and she says "yeah, I used to draw on myself as a kid, too" or something.
I can't believe I remember watching ten minutes of sliders like twelve years ago. I never saw the end, what happened in the rest of that episode?
The Togepi evo is called Togetic. I don't know what the grey bird-thing is, though. I stopped playing after Pokemon: Crystal, which had like 250 Pokemon (Firefox spell-check recognises Pokemon as a word. Weird.)
A comment left by foetus_punch was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by professorhazard, JTTuba, falseprophet, d3athcann0n)
Sorry, dude.
[IMGS OFF]
You better hope that mofo still appears before you and showers you with happiness, after you spelled its name wrong and everything.
pokechubbied
Okay, what is ass is that my browser didn't display your pic and I felt compelled to hunt up on of my own., feeling incensed at the apparent lack of love. Now we have a page that started out being about anthropomorphic miscegenation and is now full of more Pokemon than my Charizard binder.
Anyways, thank you for coming to my rescue, loneal. It's super-effective.
[IMGS OFF]
I disagree.
I'm a huge, incorrect dick. Man, do I ever hate being wrong. Tastes like...tastes like failure.
and now I am haunted by the image of 'a huge, incorrect dick.'
It is seven feet long and ashamed.
I think the real question is, "Who caught them all?" And kudos on your relatively advanced Pokemon knowledge with the Pokemon other than the original 150 that most of us know.
I'm replying to kb here so it stays near his post, and I gotta say I feel like maybe you're lying about not remembering their names. One of the ones you used comes from the current generation of the games (Yes i played it, no i didn't catch 'em all). Also, you've misspelled the word "pokemon" all but one time, leading me to believe that you know perfectly well how to spell it, and are pretending not to. This is the worst way to pretend to be cool.
"I couldn't remember all of their stupid ass names."
I laughed harder at that than I did at the strip. He couldn't even be bothered to hyphenate stupid and ass for these poor, collectible creatures.
Ass names.
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, Gumfish, QuantumCasaba)
I've never accidentally lamed someone before.
Sorry about that.
honestly, all i know are pidgey and spearow. i miss the good old days of blue and red when times were simpler and i only needed to memorize 150 pokemon.
as for spelling it "pokeman" instead of "pokemon", i just messed that up, i threw that pic together pretty quick. i am not pretending to be cool by misspelling "pokemon" to a bunch of strangers on the internet...
A comment left by hbaranov was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moolah, Deusoma, godfatherofsouls, jaypage, foetus_punch, crumpetsandtea, bhlaab)
i won't lie, i caught all 150 pokemon back in the days of pokemon red and blue (i had red and i played it on a 1st generation gameboy).
My friend and I were pretty big on that game, but that was, as someone said above, 7 or more years ago.
i thought the hooker looked more like the kind of bird that i would giggle at.
OK, guys, we gotta rap some Pokémon.
You just do the singing. I'll take care of the hard part.
Let's get it on!
I want to be the best
there ever was.
To beat all the rest, yeah,
that's my cause.
Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey
Venusaur, Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey
Seaking, Jolteon, Dragonite, Gastly
Ponyta, Vaporeon, Poliwrath, Butterfree
Um no. It's:
I want to be the very best
Like no one ever was
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause!
Pokemon!
A comment left by crumpetsandtea was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Deusoma, D-pad, smugairle, CharlesHBoucher)
what the hell is wrong with you?
Is that one thing a Togopei bird?
Togetic. It's Togepi's second stage.
I feel I must post this. Togekiss, Togepi's third stage. [IMGS OFF]
is it bad i can name all but bottom right?
????[IMGS OFF]
MY PROSTITUTES
Let me show you them.
<-Only if this is.
As to chicken or what:
I've been struggling all day to recall what it is that panel 6 reminds me of. There's some nightmarish cartoon bird-thing image in my memory, way back there. It's like the Looney Tunes dodo bird , or something, but there's something else I can't remember, exactly. A different thing it reminds me of (and which is probably copied from that same, older source) is the scary head that Alec Baldwin's character makes in Beetlejuice; you know, when he stretches the back of his head to a point with his hand and plucks his own eyes out.
In case the link above gets the "no linking" message, the url is https://toolooney.goldenagecartoons.com/dodopointing.gif.
Oops, I meant the chicken's head in panels 10 and 12, not panel 6.
how about this? [img=https://www.monkeyspit.net/sites/happy/banner.jpg]
oh god dammit
[IMGS OFF]
oh god dammit
No, that is EXACTLY what it reminded me of, but I didn't realise it until now. And I have seen The Partridge Family possibly twice in my life.
Now I know what it is, to have death inside me.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE RUNNING FROM?! THE DISEASE IS INSIDE OF YOU!
*gratuitous curb stomp ensues*
I'm gonna say this is another dream sequence. The art is just like the Charlie Brown one, where CB visits Ray in bed and tells him to have little stumpy legs just like his...and then Ray does.
Oh plus the alt text states that it is an Absinthe hallucination.
Whatever happened to Achewater, though?
That's my question.
According to something I read somewhere, the Achewood tree was actually lumbered into extinction something like a hundred years ago. Therefore, no more Achewater can be produced. Also, Achewater confers a certain melancholy upon its drinker, which really isn't Ray's style.
He sure looks melancholy here, though.
I had this dream once. It's melancholy, mixed with shame and a touch of confusion.
Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad.
Victor Hugo said that. I've been dropping it like everywhere this week. I guess this week is the week where I quote Victor Hugo?
Quote:
That seemed too appropriate to pass up.
This is true. The more comfortable I am with depravity, the more I just want a cup of tea on the sofa.
Not necessarily. It could be that the result of Ray's hallucinogenic binge were simply that he called a prostitute agency and failed to deliver the correct specifications for his whore.
With disastrous results!
He specified a mixed race chick. they did their best to fill the order.
dang i was gona say that you beat me to it
you get a chubby for being fast... somehow that doesnt sound right
If it's not a dream or absinthe-induced hallucination, and in the absence of a man-servant, I would have to wonder how the prostitute got into his bedroom... Unless the agency have a spare set of keys... Actually I wouldn't put that past Ray...
Also, if that's a chicken, it's incredibly small. Basically, it can't be a chicken. It could possibly be a robin or some similar sized bird.
Does Ray live with any of the dudes?
Do Beef and Molly still live in his pool house? It's unclear to me. I don't think any of the other dudes live there.
A comment left by lk was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by bunkzilla, goocifer, perhapsmaybe)
Indeed, I was feeling awful looking at that last panel. I think I shared Ray's expression.
I wholeheartedly agree
heh, it is like Ray is replying to himself.
I can't shake the feeling this is Onstad's messed up way of saying "Happy Easter,kids!".
I'm seconding the Happy Easter vibe. Only Onstad could make Easter about prostitutes.
Everyone else just makes Easter about zombies.
And chocolate.
And debating whether or not Licorice jelly beans are delicious (they are).
A comment left by ford was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sirhan_duran, DarkerNorm, Panserbjorne, sgrabens)
The logical next step after Jew Baby in a Barn Day.
Aw, four lames? Come on, all I did was insult all of Christianity and possibly Judaism.
I didn't lame you Ford! Hell, I gave you a chubby because it made both my religious mother and my pastor chuckle today.
Technically, Dead Jew on a Stick Day was Friday.
technically i'm pretty sure i posted Friday or Saturday
Yeah I realized that about a millisecond after I hit "Post." I was hoping my ignorance could slide through unnoticed since the next comic was only a few hours away. Oh well.
Gross. Licorice is gross.
If you think licorice is gross, I think that is cool.
More for me.
Agreed.
well i guess he thought he'd be offending jesus if he used a bunny girl prostitute. so instead we get this.
YES
"pretty soon me and that chicken were gettin' mad rutty..."
Inhabiting your avatar works here, though it also makes me super sad.
I am tragically unable to give this the chubby it so rightfully deserves.
WORST. BLOWJOB. EVER
Beakjob?
OW
Don't knock it till you try it
WHY FIND OUT
Oh i swear these blowjobs are so terrible I'm going to hang myself!
Chubby for the reference. Can't remember what the name of the comic was, but I remember it was damn good
Guaranteed Honky-Tonk-Style Beakjob?
NO
(to beakjobs)
Kids, don't do absinthe.
Kids, don't do chickens.
Chickens, don't do dudes who do absinthe.
[IMGS OFF]
EXACTLY what I thought, too. Nice, Onstad. Just when I think I know what to expect from you, you come along and drop this miniature naked rassling match in my morning cuppa Kona.
Exactly man EXACTLY
Serious contention for most chubby'd non-image post. Right behind the Canadian rap, Beef's logorithmic input, and the King James Brown Bible. Elite company, my friend; elite company.
do you think ray is wearing underwear or is he already good to go?