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Nice Pete's ass gets stabbed Wednesday, January 17, 2007 • read strip Viewing 91 comments:

Roast Beef looks like he's on his way to a seizure in the first panel.

Those assholes knew he was making moussaka tonight!

Yeah, woah! I never saw a dude get so annoyed that noone showed up for his moussaka. I never expected beef to be so hot-tempered

I cook for you, you show the hell up or I kill you. Face down in the moussaka except I would never cook a vegetable that tastes like rubber and battery acid.

Well, sure, if you don't purge the eggplant first.

Moussaka requires a strong sense of eggplants.

The eggplants are strong in this one.

You have obviously never sat around drinking Ouzo for 2 hours on an empty stomach.

Tantalizing odor of moussaka wafting around your head, gut rumbling all ouzo-dissatisfied...

Beef's apparently an angry drunk. All waiting for hours for those assholes to come eat his moussaka, all getting drunk on ouzo.

You obviously do not know what it is to be drunk on ouzo

A comment left by zem was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Chetyre, riotdejaneiro, dropkickpikachu)

Damn dogg I think you have called that one.
HERE BEGINS THE HUNT FOR THE OTHER FOUR RATINGS BUTTONS

Oh actually man the mouth is different
My bad

Maybe ju an' me are amigos

Minus the moustache.

Well, it just means that we have to hunt for the FIVE RATINGS BUTTONS instead.
I'm pretty sure that the comic where he picks up the tech magazine for himself and Molly in heaven would look pretty dang close to #5.

After you've watched a butt get stabbed for something like hours, nothing hits the spot like some moussaka.

i wouldn't have much of an appetite at all.

All with that sauce ...

Bit of a Pat moment for Beef there, you think?

he had been drinking ouzo for two hours.

When people do not eat his food, Beef hits the booze.

Who drinks ouzo?

People who aren't capable of feeling any worse inside. Greeks have also been known to drink it.

Beat me to that. I was going to also point out that with Beef serving Moussaka, it looks like it was Greek night (yeah. I had to Wikipedia everything.)

My dad said that is why Greek people die early

What else does your dad say

Wanna meet that dad.

Well played, guitar hero. I mean, Great Job!

Doo duh doo doo.

Which is why, you know, Greece has the 18th highest life expectancy in the world, beating out both the US and the UK.

We've got some extra jokes left over here if you decide you want to get some of them.

Yeah, sorry, I was on a Greece kick right then. I apologize to the Pig and Business Casual Cat.

That's ok, we all have days when we wake up feeling unusually Greecy.

Anise liquors should all just have the label "Fuck You Up Juice"

Let's be glad Beef was not into the tsipouro or the raki that night.

Hey, raki!

I had a bunch of Turkish friends who drank raki. When I drank it one night I was awoken in the morning by my friend shouting at me because I had used his prayer mat as a makeshift bed, which was "so very sacreligious.

I was up until 3 in the morning today, drinking pastis and memorising my presentation for a French exam, and thus I can imagine quite easily that your head wouldn't have been in the best of conditions for appreciating your social misconduct.

When I drank raki, I threw up bright yellow the next morning. Not just icky carroty little lumps, or phlegmy strains. Just loads of yolk-coloured vomit. Can anyone offer me a scientific explanation? Or was it just the product of the malevolent forces in my stomach?

It's because you touch yourself at night.

I'm going with malevolent forces. I have never thrown up yolk-yellow upchuck, and it sounds like a truly horrifying experience.

Seriously, my breakfast is acting like it might want to come up just thinking about it.

There's witchcraft afoot!

arak is where it's at.

I SAW MATT DAMON DRINKING SOME IN A MAGAZINE

Greek people?

he is from circumstances he does not like to waste food

Anytime I get hurt somehow and someone asks me how I am, I tell them I'm breathin' but my brain and ass cheek are hella stabbed.

Dude, do you ever say anything that isn't from Achewood? Not to be rude, I am impressed at your apparent ability to recall dozens of Achewood quotes and instantly recognize the appropriate situation in which to use them.

Hey thanks.

I have actually been able to identify other Achewood fans based upon their syntax. Achewood readers have a recognizable parlance.

this happens a lot when you are in college

All starting clauses with the word "all"
All using "such as" whenever possible


All with that sauce

Wait wait wait, where are they? Ray's place? where'd those fancy fixtures for hanging people come from?

A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeyramoney, riotdejaneiro, clancine, electricjelly, luckypyjamas, Crater12, blarghamagarky, J-Man)

I might be spoiled by the Insane amounts of correct continuity Onstad provides with the material.

You don't have those in your home?

We're talking about a cat and a teddy bear - Nice Pere could have easily procured some adhesive hoat-hooks, stuck them to the wall and they'd be enough to hold Ray & T.

Make that coat hooks.

and pe t e

Nice Pete probably has them stored in his van, for using at any old time.

I laughed solidly for seven minutes after reading
"his ass cheek and brain are hella stabbed."

This is the way I open all of my doors.

Beef opens that door in the manner of a furious man who is still in control of his Humor Drive.

Ray is hella subtle

This is funny cause I once made a moussaka and my roommates didn't show up and I was hella angry. I called them moussaka motherfuckers. I'm beef's human counterpart! (I ain't from circumstances though)

Has anyone noticed that Roast Beef gets real uppity when moussaka is involved?

I wish that his moussaka had been in the cookbook, although I guess it was since that book came out that it was established that this is Beef's specialty. I think that's all he makes besides galaxy nachos.

Roast Beef opens that door like a very drunk man (or cat), but seems to painfully sober up immediately in panel 7. I would too.
Also, what's the deal with Teodor sticking his tongue out at Beef in panel 6? Has watching a Nice Pete's ass cheeks and brain being repeatedly stabbed for hours caused some sort of dementia?
(Well, it might be his lower lip, but the tongue nicely complements Ray's curiously unaffected comment.)

It looks like his lower lip since he'd be grateful Beef showed up. So grateful that his mouth would be agape in a wide smile.

This strip is glorious.
Panels three and four are easily overlooked, but they are awesome.

oh my shit I was drinking water while reading Beef's outrage and swallowed too much to keep from choking, and now I am in pain and tears but it feels good.

I hear you, sister. I have done that with whiskey, and oh my god the pain. Achewood is dangerous .

And.. Since I haven't done an "ass pun" since Teodor died.. THAT LOOKS LIKE A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Is that a pun? I thought puns were plays on words?

I guess a play on a phrase could count as a pun. Also the pun was awful.

I know that. And it's a pun because.. oh.. I lost already. I surrender.

humility chibb

Ray is totally right. I would not want to wake up if my ass an brain were that stabbed

Every time I read this I think I want to try some moussaka. If it's worth getting furious and calling out all of the assholes over it's probably a pretty good meal of food.

Oh it is so good, my friend. So. Good.

All with that sauce ...

Panel three: Does he use the door handle?

Panel four: HE DOES NOT.

ray's speech in the last panel is glorious beyond any reasonable expectation.

I guess you guys had run retardo off by the time this initially ran? Otherwise, I can't imagine he'd have missed an opportunity to speculate what a machine furiously poking a dude in the ass represented.

stabbing and poking are 2 different things, mrs. evans.

Roast Beef does not knock.

When assholes don't eat your moussaka, you are excused from knocking.

Actually he did knock. Once. Very, very hard.

I am pretty sure that Beef was going to completely destroy the upper part of someone's body over this dinner he made. I'm talking absolute glorious ruin from the belt up.

The way Beef slams the door open after winding up makes me just so happy. Just so happy.