dr_awesome
+0 -0
A comment left by dr_awesome was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, Deusoma, j_a_s_e)
A comment left by dr_awesome was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, Deusoma, j_a_s_e)
bozendoka
+22 -0
It is prettiest song, played on broken banjo.
It is prettiest song, played on broken banjo.
soticoto
+2 -0
AAAIIIIIGHT!!
AAAIIIIIGHT!!
william
+39 -0
I like how Pat cannot come up with any response at all to Ray's request despite the extremely dire circumstances.
I like how Pat cannot come up with any response at all to Ray's request despite the extremely dire circumstances.
saint
+12 -0
a fate worse than death...belittling your own dick.
a fate worse than death...belittling your own dick.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
one does not have to belittle ones own hose to praise anothers.........
one does not have to belittle ones own hose to praise anothers.........
dusty
+1 -0
If I were pressed to come up with something like this to say quickly I'd just take a christian rock song and replace "our god" with "your dick".
If I were pressed to come up with something like this to say quickly I'd just take a christian rock song and replace "our god" with "your dick".
scifigrl47
+3 -0
I would listen to far more Christian Rock if even one song on every album followed that rule.
I would listen to far more Christian Rock if even one song on every album followed that rule.
spinynorman
+104 -0
Notice the extremely large empty space during that pause. You can SEE the awkwardness of that silence, the gravity. The silence is so heavy light bends when passing through it.
Notice the extremely large empty space during that pause. You can SEE the awkwardness of that silence, the gravity. The silence is so heavy light bends when passing through it.
soticoto
+5 -0
Chubby for awesome metaphor.
Chubby for awesome metaphor.
mulisha7
+0 -0
Chubbied for that, That I will use, should probably write it down first...
Chubbied for that, That I will use, should probably write it down first...
evilbobikus
+1 -0
Onstad's excellent ability to use timing in a web comic makes the last panel just so much better. Also another chubby for the metaphor.
Onstad's excellent ability to use timing in a web comic makes the last panel just so much better. Also another chubby for the metaphor.
soticoto
+0 -0
Chubby for agreeing with me.
Folks don't do that enough.
And I've got WAY too many chubbs to distribute these days.
Chubby for agreeing with me.
Folks don't do that enough.
And I've got WAY too many chubbs to distribute these days.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yes, it's how Einstein proved his most important theory.
The one about a peeled hose looking better to the ladies.
Yes, it's how Einstein proved his most important theory.
The one about a peeled hose looking better to the ladies.
dtuba
+0 -0
DAMMIT I wrecked a perfect 100 chubby asset. Again.
So sorry.
DAMMIT I wrecked a perfect 100 chubby asset. Again.
So sorry.
sarmatron
+1 -0
Pat is a man of principle. He's not going to say he's wrong for some petty reason like saving his own life.
Pat is a man of principle. He's not going to say he's wrong for some petty reason like saving his own life.
farqussus
+2 -0
No, Pat is trapped between his explosive fury and his dire circumstances, and knows if he opens his mouth a torrent of vitriol will rush forth and Jeebus knows what else might deposit internal juices on his person before this ends.
No, Pat is trapped between his explosive fury and his dire circumstances, and knows if he opens his mouth a torrent of vitriol will rush forth and Jeebus knows what else might deposit internal juices on his person before this ends.
waddlerz
+2 -0
That pause was at least 10 seconds
That pause was at least 10 seconds
overmedicated
+6 -1
Why the last panel is so hilarious eludes me.
Why the last panel is so hilarious eludes me.
heatbag
+13 -0
After this strip, this plot abruptly ends. I have never had a baby, but I assume it is because when a baby is born a story line must be sacrificed in its honor.
After this strip, this plot abruptly ends. I have never had a baby, but I assume it is because when a baby is born a story line must be sacrificed in its honor.
machegav
+0 -0
These storylines are generally termed "careers".
These storylines are generally termed "careers".
machegav
+8 -0
Two minutes and one strip later, I realized I wasn't being witty, but awkward.
Two minutes and one strip later, I realized I wasn't being witty, but awkward.
love_is_so_punk
+0 -0
Chubbied for awkwardness.
Chubbied for awkwardness.
machegav
+1 -0
People here seem to be pretty forgiving if you man up to your faux pas, which is appreciated.
People here seem to be pretty forgiving if you man up to your faux pas, which is appreciated.
geysershitdick
+16 -0
I have done some FUCKED up stuff in my time but I have never insulted a dude's hose.
I have done some FUCKED up stuff in my time but I have never insulted a dude's hose.
chrissketch
+6 -0
I read that last word as "horse." And for some reason, that made the comment much funnier in the context of dicks.
I read that last word as "horse." And for some reason, that made the comment much funnier in the context of dicks.
boredom_man
+3 -1
When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes.
When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes.
soticoto
+1 -0
Your hose is so flaccid it giggles when you poke it.
(Subtext : I have insulted a dude's hose.)
Your hose is so flaccid it giggles when you poke it.
(Subtext : I have insulted a dude's hose.)
judahnielsen
+23 -0
"my actual, personal hose"
"my actual, personal hose"
overmedicated
+10 -0
*pushes*
THE HOSE!
*pushes*
THE HOSE!
nurdbot
+2 -1
Never insult a Cats personal hose, otherwise you will be paying for it later. Paying for it, over a mobile phone.
Never insult a Cats personal hose, otherwise you will be paying for it later. Paying for it, over a mobile phone.
petitegitan
+0 -0
A comment left by petitegitan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, tttt, andrew_k, Darthemed)
A comment left by petitegitan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, tttt, andrew_k, Darthemed)
somemoron
+20 -0
I interpreted the turtleneck as referring to his uncircumcised member. No?
I interpreted the turtleneck as referring to his uncircumcised member. No?
killerlimpet
+1 -0
Yes. Also known as an "anteater."
Yes. Also known as an "anteater."
ford
+3 -1
i read that something like 90% of the nerve endings that make sex fun are contained in the bit of foreskin they lop off. So in truth, ladies dislike turtlenecks. I'm sure I'd like mine just fine if i had the option.
i read that something like 90% of the nerve endings that make sex fun are contained in the bit of foreskin they lop off. So in truth, ladies dislike turtlenecks. I'm sure I'd like mine just fine if i had the option.
cryztal
+6 -0
As a lady who has seen multiple penises, I can inform you that both circumcised and uncircumcised have their pros and cons. None relating to their aesthetic value.
As a lady who has seen multiple penises, I can inform you that both circumcised and uncircumcised have their pros and cons. None relating to their aesthetic value.
deusoma
+5 -2
I read that eating Mentos and Coca-Cola at the same time will kill you, but I don't believe that, either.
I read that eating Mentos and Coca-Cola at the same time will kill you, but I don't believe that, either.
ford
+0 -0
What, am I supposed to come by that infromation practically?
What, am I supposed to come by that infromation practically?
ford
+0 -0
agh typo
agh typo
love_is_so_punk
+0 -1
Circumcision is wrong and I want my foreskin back. But I'll spare you all my ranting on the subject.
Circumcision is wrong and I want my foreskin back. But I'll spare you all my ranting on the subject.
rowboat
+0 -1
Circumcision may or may not be wrong, but you have to admit that turtlenecks are mega nasty-looking. Whyever it started, it's too late to go back now.
Circumcision may or may not be wrong, but you have to admit that turtlenecks are mega nasty-looking. Whyever it started, it's too late to go back now.
love_is_so_punk
+1 -0
I don't often find myself looking at them.
I don't often find myself looking at them.
rowboat
+1 -0
Gay.
Gay.
preston
+0 -0
I guess this post was lamed by folks with uncircumcised wieners.
I guess this post was lamed by folks with uncircumcised wieners.
hawaiian_robot
+0 -0
Good god please don't let this turn into a circumcision debate.
Good god please don't let this turn into a circumcision debate.
sp1derbaby
+3 -0
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, thank you. I trust you will find my argument compelling.
[drops trousers]
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, thank you. I trust you will find my argument compelling.
[drops trousers]
Thank you.
apocowarg
+4 -0
[standing ovation, roses thrown]
[standing ovation, roses thrown]
epicurus
+1 -0
I would have liked to see where this arc ended up.
I would have liked to see where this arc ended up.
direhaggis
+1 -0
The honor of his junk was compromised, and must be restored.
The honor of his junk was compromised, and must be restored.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Is there a plastic surgeon in the house?
Is there a plastic surgeon in the house?
fallow_fields
+1 -0
I have been wanting to drink beer...
I have been wanting to drink beer...
morganization
+5 -0
the second-to-last panel with ray and his cell phone is pretty good because you know what he's waiting for, and that pat is being dragged down the street by an evil banjo at the same time
the second-to-last panel with ray and his cell phone is pretty good because you know what he's waiting for, and that pat is being dragged down the street by an evil banjo at the same time
philly
+3 -0
I see a lot of comments about the strip, but I don't see any good stuff about Ray's dick...
I see a lot of comments about the strip, but I don't see any good stuff about Ray's dick...
philly
+3 -0
Let's all say good stuff about Ray's dick.
Let's all say good stuff about Ray's dick.
hoboninja
+7 -0
Wave your hands in the air and say good stuff about Ray's dick like you just don't care
(Alt text)
Wave your hands in the air and say good stuff about Ray's dick like you just don't care
(Alt text)
morganization
+0 -0
A comment left by morganization was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamelliform, thedudeabides85, Zem, Nictusempra)
A comment left by morganization was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamelliform, thedudeabides85, Zem, Nictusempra)
zefiel
+1 -0
Barbs, dude. It's all in the barbs.
Barbs, dude. It's all in the barbs.
morganization
+0 -0
for sure.
for sure.
nictusempra
+4 -1
Why would anyone have any desire to feel sure of that
Why would anyone have any desire to feel sure of that
morganization
+5 -1
BECAUSE I HAVE SEX WITH CATS
BECAUSE I HAVE SEX WITH CATS
cagliostro
+0 -0
Well played!
Well played!
raymondsmuckles
+0 -0
My dick smells.
My dick smells.
shoinan
+1 -0
Along with "fuck along, now", this is one of my favourite Achewood phrases and one that I try to use every single day.
Along with "fuck along, now", this is one of my favourite Achewood phrases and one that I try to use every single day.
steerpike66
+5 -0
"Pat's acid guide"
Can you even imagine what that would be like?
"Pat's acid guide"
Can you even imagine what that would be like?
spinynorman
+5 -0
You would probably have to bring a detailed hardcopy of the events you would lead him through in a nice binder, complete with minute-by-minute proceedings and powerpoint slides.
You would probably have to bring a detailed hardcopy of the events you would lead him through in a nice binder, complete with minute-by-minute proceedings and powerpoint slides.
tonyhighwind
+0 -0
All classifying the hallucinations into three distinct categories. Which colors translate into which genres of music, and vice-versa in case they don't directly translate both ways. All helping him come up with a bestitute for pot in brownies and finally leading him down the path that makes him decide on salvia.
All classifying the hallucinations into three distinct categories. Which colors translate into which genres of music, and vice-versa in case they don't directly translate both ways. All helping him come up with a bestitute for pot in brownies and finally leading him down the path that makes him decide on salvia.
tonyhighwind
+1 -0
An aside: Pat is the only person, real or fake, that I could justify giving salvia to while they were tripping acid. Jesus Jumped-Up Tap-Dancing CHRIST what would that do to a person? I could see something like that catching on in meth-heavy communities and leaving shattered husks of humanity from Hell to breakfast. Moreso, even.
An aside: Pat is the only person, real or fake, that I could justify giving salvia to while they were tripping acid. Jesus Jumped-Up Tap-Dancing CHRIST what would that do to a person? I could see something like that catching on in meth-heavy communities and leaving shattered husks of humanity from Hell to breakfast. Moreso, even.
mashisoyo
+0 -0
I once smoked salvia while tripping. It didn't really kick in, which was very fortunate in hindsight. Another experience later on caused me to respect salvia much, much more than I had been, at which point the magnitude of my smoking-while-tripping folly became clear. In my defence, I had had a few beers also. I HAD been wanting to drink beer.
I once smoked salvia while tripping. It didn't really kick in, which was very fortunate in hindsight. Another experience later on caused me to respect salvia much, much more than I had been, at which point the magnitude of my smoking-while-tripping folly became clear. In my defence, I had had a few beers also. I HAD been wanting to drink beer.
kalethan
+0 -0
while it can be taken orally, it is traditional to use 13 fresh leaves rolled into a cigar/plug, and chew it like cud for 15 or 25 minutesish, absorbing it through your gums...so, just gulping it down in brownies would probably be psychologically 'safe,' as it were...I think it's terrible that Salvia will soon be illegal, as without the freedom to combine it with Pedro i'd (probably) never have gotten to see these little, squared off, blocky swiss-army-knife-logo style men picking up cubes each side of which was playing a movie of my life experiences and at warp speed bricklaying them into an infinite Mayan Callendar Pinwheel as my personality was reconstructed from scratch...salvia's neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so, it was so secret that it actually survived the Inquisition, when the Church was going around destroying any and all herb gardens and power plants they could find...curses and crushes. AND it's 1, 2, 3, 4 in the afternoon, and I'm off to work
while it can be taken orally, it is traditional to use 13 fresh leaves rolled into a cigar/plug, and chew it like cud for 15 or 25 minutesish, absorbing it through your gums...so, just gulping it down in brownies would probably be psychologically 'safe,' as it were...I think it's terrible that Salvia will soon be illegal, as without the freedom to combine it with Pedro i'd (probably) never have gotten to see these little, squared off, blocky swiss-army-knife-logo style men picking up cubes each side of which was playing a movie of my life experiences and at warp speed bricklaying them into an infinite Mayan Callendar Pinwheel as my personality was reconstructed from scratch...salvia's neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so, it was so secret that it actually survived the Inquisition, when the Church was going around destroying any and all herb gardens and power plants they could find...curses and crushes. AND it's 1, 2, 3, 4 in the afternoon, and I'm off to work
scifigrl47
+0 -0
Well, I'm fairly certain his spirit animal is the Dung Beetle, and it doesn't like him, either.
Well, I'm fairly certain his spirit animal is the Dung Beetle, and it doesn't like him, either.
deancain29
+3 -0
"plus I have been wanting to drink beer" I love that this is part of the reasoning process.
"plus I have been wanting to drink beer" I love that this is part of the reasoning process.
killingthejay
+1 -0
it's always part of mine
it's always part of mine
bluejay
+2 -0
I still feel cheated that this was never really resolved.
I still feel cheated that this was never really resolved.
centipede_damascus
+2 -0
When your friends are in a predicament and need your help, it is a good time to extract compliments from them, especially compliments concerning your genitals.
When your friends are in a predicament and need your help, it is a good time to extract compliments from them, especially compliments concerning your genitals.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
pat is no ones friend
pat is no ones friend
heavymetaljesus
+1 -0
They should make a phoneline where you call in and people say nice things about your dick. And it'd be law.
They should make a phoneline where you call in and people say nice things about your dick. And it'd be law.
johnnylandmine
+2 -0
"The Turtleneck Toms" is a name my team often uses at the local weekly trivia night.
"The Turtleneck Toms" is a name my team often uses at the local weekly trivia night.
slab64
+0 -0
Local weekly trivia nights? Such things exist? I wonder if there's one in my area...
Local weekly trivia nights? Such things exist? I wonder if there's one in my area...
johnnylandmine
+6 -0
It is a popular weekly event at certain restaurants and bars. It's nice because the prizes are usually gift certificates to the restaurant, so if you're feeling pretty cocky you can go ahead and order that big sandwich you may or may not have enough cash for.
It is a popular weekly event at certain restaurants and bars. It's nice because the prizes are usually gift certificates to the restaurant, so if you're feeling pretty cocky you can go ahead and order that big sandwich you may or may not have enough cash for.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i am Intrigued. dang.
i am Intrigued. dang.
timasi
+0 -0
Why is Ray not wearing his standard phone jacket here?
Why is Ray not wearing his standard phone jacket here?
envika
+0 -0
the magical realism camera contradicts this strip.
the magical realism camera contradicts this strip.
slab64
+0 -0
No it doesn't. It just shows that Pat sees himself being circumsized, you know, ideally.
No it doesn't. It just shows that Pat sees himself being circumsized, you know, ideally.
fuckyoufriday
+1 -0
uncircumcised dicks usually have the foreskin rolled back while erect. human ones, anyway.
uncircumcised dicks usually have the foreskin rolled back while erect. human ones, anyway.
envika
+0 -0
delightful.
a happy thought to start my evening.
delightful.
a happy thought to start my evening.
thejewishdream
+2 -1
Wait a sec- Circumcision is "the very lifeline of my heritage" for Ray.
Is Ray Jewish?
Wait a sec- Circumcision is "the very lifeline of my heritage" for Ray.
Is Ray Jewish?
dicklaurent
+5 -0
He means his cock
He means his cock
laserblade
+0 -0
He does, in fact, mean his cock.
He does, in fact, mean his cock.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
His cock, he does mean.
His cock, he does mean.
atticusonline
+0 -0
His cock is mean!
His cock is mean!
sp1derbaby
+2 -0
But his chillies are rad!
But his chillies are rad!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he's got rad chillies!
he's got rad chillies!
genequagmire
+0 -0
I was just wondering the same thing!
I was just wondering the same thing!
slow_lane
+1 -1
Self Dick perception in my worls is huge. Literally and figuratively.
Self Dick perception in my worls is huge. Literally and figuratively.
natashamarie
+1 -0
there needs to be an 'arc' completing dead end storylines... other than tofutti cuties
there needs to be an 'arc' completing dead end storylines... other than tofutti cuties
luckypyjamas
+0 -0
Ray likes Mel Gibson apparently
Mad Max, Braveheart when Philippe went missing
Ray likes Mel Gibson apparently
Mad Max, Braveheart when Philippe went missing
shutoutman39
+0 -0
I love this one, but does it bother anyone else that, just a short while ago (when the banjo broke in the first place) Ray was incapacitated by the Satanic connection between the banjo music and his quick onset diabetes conniptions. What the hell happened to that?
I love this one, but does it bother anyone else that, just a short while ago (when the banjo broke in the first place) Ray was incapacitated by the Satanic connection between the banjo music and his quick onset diabetes conniptions. What the hell happened to that?
erinye
+1 -0
The banjo broke, ergo no more music, leaving Ray neither diabetic nor Satanically possessed once more.
The banjo broke, ergo no more music, leaving Ray neither diabetic nor Satanically possessed once more.
tourach3
+0 -1
can't go wrong with dick and fart jokes!
can't go wrong with dick and fart jokes!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Why is Ray using the speakerphone function in this strip?
Why is Ray using the speakerphone function in this strip?
tekende
+0 -0
Why not?
Why not?
slab64
+1 -0
You obviously don't Know Black People, but they love to use speakerphone at every opportunity. Which is basically anytime they aren't wearing their Bluetooth headset.
You obviously don't Know Black People, but they love to use speakerphone at every opportunity. Which is basically anytime they aren't wearing their Bluetooth headset.
atticusonline
+0 -0
Ray is...Black People?
Ray is...Black People?
tekende
+0 -0
Wait, your capitalization slightly confuses me. Are you talking about black people, in general, or is there some specific comedy group/TV show/somesuch called Black People you are talking about?
Wait, your capitalization slightly confuses me. Are you talking about black people, in general, or is there some specific comedy group/TV show/somesuch called Black People you are talking about?
slab64
+0 -0
I capitalized "Know Black People" just because its sort of a paradigm, people trying to figure out a different group of people. It's all tongue in cheek.
I capitalized "Know Black People" just because its sort of a paradigm, people trying to figure out a different group of people. It's all tongue in cheek.
tekende
+1 -0
Yeah, I don't remember posting that, so I'm not sure if I was really being serious with that question. Probably I wasn't, but you never know.
Yeah, I don't remember posting that, so I'm not sure if I was really being serious with that question. Probably I wasn't, but you never know.
slab64
+0 -0
When I look back on comments I have left, I rarely remember posting them. Weird.
When I look back on comments I have left, I rarely remember posting them. Weird.
jonmw
+0 -0
I want to know how this all turned out. The only explanation I can think of is that Lonis was somehow behind all of this.
I want to know how this all turned out. The only explanation I can think of is that Lonis was somehow behind all of this.
chewyinside
+1 -0
An unfinished story arc about demonic possession and a devil banjo rendered incomplete directly before the birth of the authors first born.
What does it all mean?
An unfinished story arc about demonic possession and a devil banjo rendered incomplete directly before the birth of the authors first born.
What does it all mean?
mangtastic
+0 -0
It means that Onstad was so distracted by his babby that he forgot all about a demonic banjo dragging an anthropomorphic cat down a sidewalk.
It means that Onstad was so distracted by his babby that he forgot all about a demonic banjo dragging an anthropomorphic cat down a sidewalk.
21echoes
+0 -0
it is important to note that Onstad wrote about circumcision about 3 days before his child was born. Clearly an instance of the daily life of the man being present in the strip.
(yes, i know he had a girl... but clearly there was a point when the gender was unknown to them )
it is important to note that Onstad wrote about circumcision about 3 days before his child was born. Clearly an instance of the daily life of the man being present in the strip.
(yes, i know he had a girl... but clearly there was a point when the gender was unknown to them )
laserblade
+1 -0
Or maybe he lives in Burundi.
OH NO I DIDN'T
Or maybe he lives in Burundi.
OH NO I DIDN'T
atticusonline
+0 -0
come on man...
come on man...
severide
+3 -0
The man comes from circumcisions stances.
The man comes from circum
nonanon
+0 -0
Pat! You're being dragged to your death by a satanic banjo! HOW COME?
Pat! You're being dragged to your death by a satanic banjo! HOW COME?
sex_bicycle
+0 -0
i was 19 this day
i was 19 this day
pigeon_street
+0 -0
Ray has an uncanny sense of justice.
Ray has an uncanny sense of justice.
gunsofray
+0 -0
Pat is missing the lowwer part of a leg in Panel Two.
Pat is missing the lowwer part of a leg in Panel Two.
gunsofray
+0 -0
Fuck.
Fuck.
stonecrab
+0 -0
Huh... you're right!? Never noticed it before...
Huh... you're right!? Never noticed it before...
rowboat
+0 -0
It's dragging under him.
It's dragging under him.
gunsofray
+0 -0
Oh.
Oh.
rowboat
+1 -0
And kind of poorly drawn.
And kind of poorly drawn.
gunsofray
+0 -0
Old Achewood.. maybe Chris hadn't attained his current level of drawing skill, ignoring the four years he was already drawing comics for the internet usage purposes. I don't even know what i just said, but damn if it aint an idea.
Old Achewood.. maybe Chris hadn't attained his current level of drawing skill, ignoring the four years he was already drawing comics for the internet usage purposes. I don't even know what i just said, but damn if it aint an idea.
pigeon_street
+0 -0
Ray's sense of justice is simple, yet so brilliant that I am humbled before him.
Say good stuff about my dick.
Ray's sense of justice is simple, yet so brilliant that I am humbled before him.
Say good stuff about my dick.
travo
+0 -0
Is this the first appearance of Rays t-shirt?
Is this the first appearance of Rays t-shirt?
wvabanjo
+0 -0
ray & the banjo acid nannies
ray & the banjo acid nannies
"Turtleneck Tom", I am so gonna use that.