magb
+3 -2
I like the way Beef imagines that Showbiz will sort of tilt the sign he's holding from side to side every now and then.
I like the way Beef imagines that Showbiz will sort of tilt the sign he's holding from side to side every now and then.
bookofsand
+8 -0
I didn't get this until I went to a wedding in California, but auto dealerships and housing developments out there will hire dudes to stand at busy intersections and twirl signs around to draw attention. I saw many of these poor dudes; the groom told me that if they show insufficient energy, they are fired on the spot. That is probably what happened to Showbiz.
I didn't get this until I went to a wedding in California, but auto dealerships and housing developments out there will hire dudes to stand at busy intersections and twirl signs around to draw attention. I saw many of these poor dudes; the groom told me that if they show insufficient energy, they are fired on the spot. That is probably what happened to Showbiz.
professoryes
+1 -0
Two pizza places in the area on our highways used to hire people for the task of shaking a pizza sign. One got a very frightening Carrot Top look-alike, so the other one went with a former stripper wearing fishnets and high heels. That was ... a subject of intrigue, I'll say.
Two pizza places in the area on our highways used to hire people for the task of shaking a pizza sign. One got a very frightening Carrot Top look-alike, so the other one went with a former stripper wearing fishnets and high heels. That was ... a subject of intrigue, I'll say.
audhumla
+6 -0
I have done this sign job for a mattress store. It is the Worst job.
I have done this sign job for a mattress store. It is the Worst job.
stuart
+2 -0
I refer to the guy who wears the mattress store's sign here (Redmond) as Showbiz. He is EXACTLY like this.
I refer to the guy who wears the mattress store's sign here (Redmond) as Showbiz. He is EXACTLY like this.
darthemed
+2 -0
I was lucky enough to have a vacuum appliance salesplace in my hometown that used an animatronic gorilla to wave a sign about outside the store.
I was lucky enough to have a vacuum appliance salesplace in my hometown that used an animatronic gorilla to wave a sign about outside the store.
wittyname
+1 -0
For co-op, I had to go outside and walk hold a sign up for oncoming traffic for a sale we were having.
It was very windy and I felt like one of those girls who hold up signs for wrestling matches... I shared their shame.
For co-op, I had to go outside and walk hold a sign up for oncoming traffic for a sale we were having.
It was very windy and I felt like one of those girls who hold up signs for wrestling matches... I shared their shame.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
When I was about fourteen I held up a sign in the middle of a highstreet for my friend's dad, who did French markets. It was horrifically boring, and loads of people who walked passed me would go "Ohh, she didn't look too happy, did she?" like, the second they were behind me, as though I couldn't hear them, and I was like, well, what do you think, would you be grinning like a fucking maniac if you were in my position?
But I got paid like �7.50 an hour and did it for a total of ten hours, so that was fairly sweet.
When I was about fourteen I held up a sign in the middle of a highstreet for my friend's dad, who did French markets. It was horrifically boring, and loads of people who walked passed me would go "Ohh, she didn't look too happy, did she?" like, the second they were behind me, as though I couldn't hear them, and I was like, well, what do you think, would you be grinning like a fucking maniac if you were in my position?
But I got paid like �7.50 an hour and did it for a total of ten hours, so that was fairly sweet.
kelsotimebomb
+10 -0
I remember driving by some tax place like "American Financial" or something, and a dancing black guy was outside the store dressed like Uncle Sam. My friends and I pulled into the parking lot, had a conversation with him, and then got our pictures taken with him.
Defining quote: "Man, I'm just up in here dancin' for that tax shit."
I remember driving by some tax place like "American Financial" or something, and a dancing black guy was outside the store dressed like Uncle Sam. My friends and I pulled into the parking lot, had a conversation with him, and then got our pictures taken with him.
Defining quote: "Man, I'm just up in here dancin' for that tax shit."
nicolae
+0 -0
Whoa, there's a black Uncle Sam across the street from my college who dances! You're not of the Little Rock area, are you? Or is this a nationwide phenomenon?
Whoa, there's a black Uncle Sam across the street from my college who dances! You're not of the Little Rock area, are you? Or is this a nationwide phenomenon?
kelsotimebomb
+0 -0
Nope, Iowa City.
This is the best nationwide phenomenon EVER.
Nope, Iowa City.
This is the best nationwide phenomenon EVER.
kickstart
+0 -0
In Des Moines we have the black Statue of Liberty for the tax place. My dad always honks at him.
In Des Moines we have the black Statue of Liberty for the tax place. My dad always honks at him.
antwerpmassive
+3 -1
In my area, we have a black Uncle Sam (female) and black Statue of Liberty (male) around tax time, but they don't dance.
In my area, we have a black Uncle Sam (female) and black Statue of Liberty (male) around tax time, but they don't dance.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Did...did someone lame your comment because they didn't dance?
Did...did someone lame your comment because they didn't dance?
awko
+12 -0
If they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine.
If they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine.
saulbellow
+0 -0
We had one March-April this year as well ... this is clearly a well-established phenomenon throughout the land, or at least the middle part of the land.
Also, the guy looked pretty dangerous, like he might stab or punch you.
We had one March-April this year as well ... this is clearly a well-established phenomenon throughout the land, or at least the middle part of the land.
Also, the guy looked pretty dangerous, like he might stab or punch you.
stereo
+0 -0
Uncle Sam does not like the cut of your paycheck.
Uncle Sam does not like the cut of your paycheck.
liithe
+0 -0
Liberty Income Tax. Just days after reading this I saw my first black Uncle Sam there during a vacation.
Liberty Income Tax. Just days after reading this I saw my first black Uncle Sam there during a vacation.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Our tax place sports male and female statues of liberty. They all dance. I always feel bad for them.
Our tax place sports male and female statues of liberty. They all dance. I always feel bad for them.
blarghamagarky
+2 -0
There is one pizza place in my town that does it. Only, the girl who does it is obese and is "special" which everyone who has ever gone to our high school knows. She boogies on down with that sign though.
There is one pizza place in my town that does it. Only, the girl who does it is obese and is "special" which everyone who has ever gone to our high school knows. She boogies on down with that sign though.
trollcollins
+2 -0
I don't know why, but I have the urge to make a derivative film about this person.
I don't know why, but I have the urge to make a derivative film about this person.
bixschmix
+0 -0
In Texas, it seems like every carwash or furniture liquidation has one.
In Texas, it seems like every carwash or furniture liquidation has one.
spinynorman
+6 -0
I have purchased many bargain pizzas because a fat man sitting on the curb was cradling a large cardboard sign in his lap which was shaped like an electric guitar, and he was pretending to strum with great and soulful enthusiasm.
I just can't say no to that.
I have purchased many bargain pizzas because a fat man sitting on the curb was cradling a large cardboard sign in his lap which was shaped like an electric guitar, and he was pretending to strum with great and soulful enthusiasm.
I just can't say no to that.
overmedicated
+9 -0
I one walked past a Pick Your Own farm that had someone stood outside the dirt drive entrance dressed as an apple, doing the 'enthusiastic bus driver' dance.
Two things made this for me.
1. The costume had no facehole, and this poor sod was essentailly three feet away from a busy A-road
2. The farm was selling strawberries.
I one walked past a Pick Your Own farm that had someone stood outside the dirt drive entrance dressed as an apple, doing the 'enthusiastic bus driver' dance.
Two things made this for me.
1. The costume had no facehole, and this poor sod was essentailly three feet away from a busy A-road
2. The farm was selling strawberries.
rosie
+0 -0
Man, Showbiz is such a loser. Also, I still can't see the alt-text, I guess it's missing from the archives. :(
Man, Showbiz is such a loser. Also, I still can't see the alt-text, I guess it's missing from the archives. :(
flynn
+2 -0
I enjoy Showbiz's baffling shoes.
I enjoy Showbiz's baffling shoes.
centipede_damascus
+1 -0
I bet you would spend a lot of money on batteries for your CD player if that was your job.
I bet you would spend a lot of money on batteries for your CD player if that was your job.
rotating-dog
+0 -0
Where I come from, this is popular with companies such as Pizza Hut.
Where I come from, this is popular with companies such as Pizza Hut.
straw
+6 -0
When Beef thinks about Showbiz it's the only time that his thoughts resemble an actual reality instead of something way depressed and much more negative than it probably is.
When Beef thinks about Showbiz it's the only time that his thoughts resemble an actual reality instead of something way depressed and much more negative than it probably is.
trollcollins
+1 -0
Yes. He cannot imagine anything worse than the truth.
Yes. He cannot imagine anything worse than the truth.
evolume
+8 -0
I always wonder what it must be like to have a job that could also be done by a piece of wood stuck in a tire with some cement.
I always wonder what it must be like to have a job that could also be done by a piece of wood stuck in a tire with some cement.
twohundredninety
+0 -0
I dunno, man. It would be hard to get the piece of wood to shake the sign.
I dunno, man. It would be hard to get the piece of wood to shake the sign.
spinynorman
+8 -0
I have bought pizza many a times simply because a disheveled fat man was standing out by the road with a sign advertising it.
I am a sucker for the disheveled fat man ruse, it seems. As soon as I spot one frowing on the curb with a sign in his hands I start laughing and jerking the wheel.
Hair all blowing in his face
wearing a walkman from 1991
I have bought pizza many a times simply because a disheveled fat man was standing out by the road with a sign advertising it.
I am a sucker for the disheveled fat man ruse, it seems. As soon as I spot one frowing on the curb with a sign in his hands I start laughing and jerking the wheel.
Hair all blowing in his face
wearing a walkman from 1991
girlandagun
+0 -0
Not really. A motor? A hinge and some wind?
Not really. A motor? A hinge and some wind?
josher
+1 -0
Alt text: When we were kids Showbiz sold me
Alt text: When we were kids Showbiz sold me
arbys
+3 -0
We have these guys all over the place in Arizona. Frankly it never occurred to me that they don't do it elsewhere.
The worst I saw was a couple days ago; some poor girl was dressed up as Wendy holding a sign advertising their breakfast menu.
We have these guys all over the place in Arizona. Frankly it never occurred to me that they don't do it elsewhere.
The worst I saw was a couple days ago; some poor girl was dressed up as Wendy holding a sign advertising their breakfast menu.
dougthehead
+10 -0
In Tucson, there's a Wendy's near the U of A where you can see someone dressed as a milkshake, usually dancing like crazy. As the costume has no face hole, it's one surreal scene.
In Tucson, there's a Wendy's near the U of A where you can see someone dressed as a milkshake, usually dancing like crazy. As the costume has no face hole, it's one surreal scene.
rowboat
+12 -0
If I'm doing that job, the god damned milkshake (or hot dog, ice cream cone, adult pleasure device, etc.) better not have a god damned face hole. I think it's pretty much a law of nature that every one of your ex-girlfriends will be subconsciously drawn to the vicinity if you're doing this type of thing, so I'll do the dance of suffocation.
If I'm doing that job, the god damned milkshake (or hot dog, ice cream cone, adult pleasure device, etc.) better not have a god damned face hole. I think it's pretty much a law of nature that every one of your ex-girlfriends will be subconsciously drawn to the vicinity if you're doing this type of thing, so I'll do the dance of suffocation.
tekende
+10 -0
I once drove by a Halloween store and my roommate at the time was standing outside it by the street, holding a sign and dancing while dressed as a toilet.
That may have been the greatest single moment I ever experienced.
I once drove by a Halloween store and my roommate at the time was standing outside it by the street, holding a sign and dancing while dressed as a toilet.
That may have been the greatest single moment I ever experienced.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I believe it.
I believe it.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Outrageous Zingers!
Outrageous Zingers!
molesticide
+2 -0
i've seen that! represent for tucson!
i've seen that! represent for tucson!
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Possibly one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.
Possibly one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time.
cailetshadow
+3 -0
I just want to say that, at the cross of Southern Ave and Rural Rd. in Tempe, Az, there is a man or woman dressed up as the Geico gecko, and that he does a FANTASTIC job.
I just want to say that, at the cross of Southern Ave and Rural Rd. in Tempe, Az, there is a man or woman dressed up as the Geico gecko, and that he does a FANTASTIC job.
tim_simmons
+0 -0
i've been a giant fireman called fireman bob and an elf for santa but i've never had to stand in front of a road and swing a sign. for that i am grateful.
i've been a giant fireman called fireman bob and an elf for santa but i've never had to stand in front of a road and swing a sign. for that i am grateful.
quaga
+0 -0
chubbied, good sir. That Gecko is hell of enthusiastic, I like to think that he is paid well and enjoys his job immensely
chubbied, good sir. That Gecko is hell of enthusiastic, I like to think that he is paid well and enjoys his job immensely
tekende
+0 -0
In reality he is paid minimum wage and just drinks like eight Red Bulls before he goes on shift.
In reality he is paid minimum wage and just drinks like eight Red Bulls before he goes on shift.
snowman
+0 -0
Yep. Near my house, I had the pleasure of pulling up next to none other than Lady Liberty herself, advertising for a tax service place. No teeth, hair all stringy. All leathery skin that you can't tell if it's too tan or just filthy.
Yep. Near my house, I had the pleasure of pulling up next to none other than Lady Liberty herself, advertising for a tax service place. No teeth, hair all stringy. All leathery skin that you can't tell if it's too tan or just filthy.
epicurus
+0 -0
Having to shake the sign is the really embarassing part here.
Having to shake the sign is the really embarassing part here.
firehawk
+0 -0
I know a guy who used to (dunno if he still does) do exactly this for Little Caesar's pizza.
It was kinda strange, seeing him actually "working"...
I know a guy who used to (dunno if he still does) do exactly this for Little Caesar's pizza.
It was kinda strange, seeing him actually "working"...
deusoma
+2 -0
A guy I knew once gave a homeless guy fifty bucks so he could cover him in fliers advertising his band's first gig. That homeless man had become a walking noteboard, and he STILL had more dignity than Showbiz.
A guy I knew once gave a homeless guy fifty bucks so he could cover him in fliers advertising his band's first gig. That homeless man had become a walking noteboard, and he STILL had more dignity than Showbiz.
mattylite
+3 -0
There's a guy where I'm from who does this sort of thing, advertising some place called "Veteran will work for food please help God bless"
There's a guy where I'm from who does this sort of thing, advertising some place called "Veteran will work for food please help God bless"
massialot
+0 -1
Two panels were not required, but the indulgence is oh so sweet.
Two panels were not required, but the indulgence is oh so sweet.
kickstart
+0 -0
People who hold signs go on to hold many other things.
People who hold signs go on to hold many other things.
neonaoneo
+1 -0
*pant*
*wheeze*
I CONCUR
*pant*
*wheeze*
I CONCUR
hendetta
+0 -0
This job sucks, but it pays pretty well. I held it briefly at the age of 17.
This job sucks, but it pays pretty well. I held it briefly at the age of 17.
In ten years my brother will be Showbiz, but I will probably not be anything like RB.
One of my childhood friends is turning into Showbiz. Dropped out of college. Lives with his parents. Thinks he's cool because he's carving a pipe out of discarded christmas tree wood.
That is cool.
A person does not equal cool unless the summation of their life's actions coolness equals cool. It takes a drastic amount of cool in one act to redeem a life of anitcool.
Carving a pipe out of wood is pretty damn cool though
I relate to that.