giantants
+3 -1
Would love to hear a recording of this song, ideally as sung by someone with no voice traiing and mabe even kind of a scratchy throat.
Would love to hear a recording of this song, ideally as sung by someone with no voice traiing and mabe even kind of a scratchy throat.
untilyouaresonude
+53 -0
Tom Waits?
Tom Waits?
giantants
+2 -2
Actually fuck yeah that's a good idea. Onstad should maybe put some heat under that sucker.
Actually fuck yeah that's a good idea. Onstad should maybe put some heat under that sucker.
jrpigman
+11 -0
In saying so, you are assuming that the mother isn't already turned out.
In saying so, you are assuming that the mother isn't already turned out.
gormster
+18 -1
DiSaGrEeMeNt BoX
DiSaGrEeMeNt BoX
heccibiggs
+2 -0
Oh, this is where I got this phrase! I've been using it all over, and I just Google'd it because I was getting curious about where I'd first heard it, and I was lead here. How exciting.
Oh, this is where I got this phrase! I've been using it all over, and I just Google'd it because I was getting curious about where I'd first heard it, and I was lead here. How exciting.
hellofditties
+0 -0
How strange. That is why I am here too.
How strange. That is why I am here too.
gormster
+0 -0
It's from Ray's flowchart, in case you are wondering.
It's from Ray's flowchart, in case you are wondering.
heccibiggs
+2 -0
I became aware of this at some point in the five months since I wrote that comment.
I became aware of this at some point in the five months since I wrote that comment.
hellofditties
+0 -0
I was aware, but I wanted to know the PRECISE ARRANGEMENT OF THE LETTERS because I am Strange.
I was aware, but I wanted to know the PRECISE ARRANGEMENT OF THE LETTERS because I am Strange.
spinynorman
+6 -0
I could hear Tom crooning that while a pump organ atonally reels back and forth and a bassoon honks in the background.
I could hear Tom crooning that while a pump organ atonally reels back and forth and a bassoon honks in the background.
rowboat
+5 -0
I can hear no one singing that but Mister Rogers, and I'm OK with that.
I can hear no one singing that but Mister Rogers, and I'm OK with that.
gournal
+3 -0
Once upon a time, there was a poor child,
With no father and no mother,
And everything was dead,
And no one was left in the whole world.
The child went and searched day and night,
And since nobody was left on the earth,
He wanted to go up in to the heavens,
And the moon was looking at him so friendly,
And when he finally got to the moon,
The moon was a piece of rotten wood.
And when he wanted to go back down to Earth,
The Earth was an overturned piss-pot, And he was all alone.
And he sat down and he cried.
And he is there to this day.
All alone.
Once upon a time, there was a poor child,
With no father and no mother,
And everything was dead,
And no one was left in the whole world.
The child went and searched day and night,
And since nobody was left on the earth,
He wanted to go up in to the heavens,
And the moon was looking at him so friendly,
And when he finally got to the moon,
The moon was a piece of rotten wood.
And when he wanted to go back down to Earth,
The Earth was an overturned piss-pot, And he was all alone.
And he sat down and he cried.
And he is there to this day.
All alone.
puguglypress
+0 -0
(taps foot, hums)
(taps foot, hums)
gumfish
+0 -0
Reading this before bed feels sort of weird and good. bedtime story success
Reading this before bed feels sort of weird and good. bedtime story success
tekende
+1 -0
I...I can hear it in my head. It is SO GOOD, guys.
so good
I...I can hear it in my head. It is SO GOOD, guys.
so good
twotonturkey
+10 -0
It plays in my head like the theme song to a bad early 90s sitcom.
It plays in my head like the theme song to a bad early 90s sitcom.
deimosrising
+3 -0
When my close friends are not around I will frequently also forget to eat.
When my close friends are not around I will frequently also forget to eat.
hollis
+12 -0
That is why everyone should have a copy of the tapes Philippe's mom sent him:
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04192002
That is why everyone should have a copy of the tapes Philippe's mom sent him:
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=04192002
mattylite
+1 -0
I bet so!
I bet so!
ovenface
+0 -1
tonight my dinner was part of a little cake at 10:30 because i forgot to eat.
tonight my dinner was part of a little cake at 10:30 because i forgot to eat.
tekende
+2 -0
I have so many questions, but am unsure how to phrase them. I suppose I just wonder what qualifies a cake as "little," and if it is little, why did you only have part of it?
I have so many questions, but am unsure how to phrase them. I suppose I just wonder what qualifies a cake as "little," and if it is little, why did you only have part of it?
ovenface
+12 -1
If I eat the whole thing at once, I will either grow or shrink to drastic proportions. Since I don't know which will be the outcome, it's best to eat the cake in parts.
If I eat the whole thing at once, I will either grow or shrink to drastic proportions. Since I don't know which will be the outcome, it's best to eat the cake in parts.
tekende
+3 -0
Your hair wants cutting.
Your hair wants cutting.
belgand
+0 -0
When my girlfriend leave town I also will often forget to eat. Normally I just forget to sleep.
When my girlfriend leave town I also will often forget to eat. Normally I just forget to sleep.
rowboat
+2 -0
Belgand has real human needs - pass it on.
Belgand has real human needs - pass it on.
tekende
+1 -0
belgand can't sleep without his girlfriend, pass it on
belgand can't sleep without his girlfriend, pass it on
theguitarhero
+0 -0
belgand has human emotions, pass it on.
belgand has human emotions, pass it on.
belgand
+0 -0
Belgand fails to notice most bodily urges unless conspicuously reminded. EOL
Belgand fails to notice most bodily urges unless conspicuously reminded. EOL
lizjones
+1 -2
Grelicious. Thank you, Mr. Onstad, for introducing another bewildering term into my vocabulary.
Grelicious. Thank you, Mr. Onstad, for introducing another bewildering term into my vocabulary.
fuckalgebra
+0 -0
One wonders if it is merely a portmanteau of "great" and "delicious," or if it reflects something more specific, such as the quality of being very palatable after the person eating it has not realised to eat for a week.
One wonders if it is merely a portmanteau of "great" and "delicious," or if it reflects something more specific, such as the quality of being very palatable after the person eating it has not realised to eat for a week.
professorhazard
+3 -0
I believe it is a combination of "gruffle" and "delicious".
I believe it is a combination of "gruffle" and "delicious".
utv
+0 -0
I dunno, I think of it less as a portmanteau and more just Beef's unique spin on the English language. See also: 'jilapidated.'
I dunno, I think of it less as a portmanteau and more just Beef's unique spin on the English language. See also: 'jilapidated.'
hellofyellin
+1 -0
He's never taken me to the zoo/ And I've never seen a doctor... He's Samuel!
What's the tune to Samuel H. Invisible
He's never taken me to the zoo/ And I've never seen a doctor... He's Samuel!
What's the tune to Samuel H. Invisible
catachresis
+12 -0
It is a generic children's TV theme, except with undertones of anger and a minor chord at the end.
It is a generic children's TV theme, except with undertones of anger and a minor chord at the end.
hellofyellin
+2 -1
Tee hee.
Tee hee.
sp1derbaby
+0 -0
D minor. It is the saddest chord.
D minor. It is the saddest chord.
hellofyellin
+0 -0
It's been known to make people weep instantly.
It's been known to make people weep instantly.
soticoto
+0 -0
It has to end with a diminished 7th though.
It just won't work without a diminished 7th.
It has to end with a diminished 7th though.
It just won't work without a diminished 7th.
tekende
+2 -0
It sounds like every They Might Be Giants song
It sounds like every They Might Be Giants song
zapatos
+0 -0
They Might Be a Band You Buy an Album From. Maybe. Probably not though.
They Might Be a Band You Buy an Album From. Maybe. Probably not though.
rowboat
+0 -0
I sure did.
I sure did.
tekende
+1 -0
I have bought several TMBG albums. I greatly enjoy their music.
I have bought several TMBG albums. I greatly enjoy their music.
heccibiggs
+3 -0
I'm buying a TMBG album right now, and loving it!
I'm not really. I just wanted to get in on the whole customer-testimonial vibe going on here.
I'm buying a TMBG album right now, and loving it!
I'm not really. I just wanted to get in on the whole customer-testimonial vibe going on here.
laserblade
+0 -0
The exact tune of "Road to Peace" by Tom Waits.
The exact tune of "Road to Peace" by Tom Waits.
tekende
+0 -0
AKA "The Song That Never Ends"
AKA "The Song That Never Ends"
ghostd
+7 -0
We can only hope and pray that Samuel has not suicided.
We can only hope and pray that Samuel has not suicided.
adhesion
+1 -0
I love how in panel 5 Ray is exasperated as if he has heard this a million times.
I love how in panel 5 Ray is exasperated as if he has heard this a million times.
rotating-dog
+3 -0
I sing this whenever I'm asked to do things. I hadn't noticed how often I do it, but apparently enough to cause my family to react like Ray does.
I sing this whenever I'm asked to do things. I hadn't noticed how often I do it, but apparently enough to cause my family to react like Ray does.
qatipay
+5 -0
What IS Ray reading?
What IS Ray reading?
epicurus
+0 -0
Seconded
Seconded
tekende
+0 -0
GQ. Or Cosmo.
GQ. Or Cosmo.
purplehaze
+4 -0
How has he forgotten to eat? Wasn't he just now browning lamb for moussaka?
How has he forgotten to eat? Wasn't he just now browning lamb for moussaka?
mat4900
+0 -0
Perhaps the moussaka was for Gramma K.
Perhaps the moussaka was for Gramma K.
overmedicated
+0 -0
Moussaka is not good eats.
Moussaka is not good eats.
leftsaidtim
+0 -0
You sir are a liar and a cheat.
You sir are a liar and a cheat.
rowboat
+1 -0
Either you've never had moussaka or you're a vegetarian. Either way, you're not to be listened to.
Either you've never had moussaka or you're a vegetarian. Either way, you're not to be listened to.
someone3
+0 -0
good contunuity catch
good contunuity catch
tttt
+4 -0
Beef cooks, finds himself unworthy of the finished product, and throws it away
by the way, 5 5 5 5 5
Beef cooks, finds himself unworthy of the finished product, and throws it away
by the way, 5 5 5 5 5
squi
+0 -0
Sure, he was browning lamb, but that's pretty early into the whole moussaka cooking ordeal. He took Weldon and his 1938 Enos Slaughter rookie card and straigt up walked out before the moussaka was done.
Sure, he was browning lamb, but that's pretty early into the whole moussaka cooking ordeal. He took Weldon and his 1938 Enos Slaughter rookie card and straigt up walked out before the moussaka was done.
atmus
+2 -0
Yeah, then his cooking was interrupted and he forgot about it while yelling and moving out. I bet that moussaka is REALLY brown now.
Yeah, then his cooking was interrupted and he forgot about it while yelling and moving out. I bet that moussaka is REALLY brown now.
cousinted
+1 -1
The cat sings a song about his neglectfed childhood.
The cat sings a song about his neglectfed childhood.
cousinted
+17 -0
Neglectfed of course being a portmanteau of Neglect and fed. Not a typo, nosiree
(I think they're buying it)
Neglectfed of course being a portmanteau of Neglect and fed. Not a typo, nosiree
(I think they're buying it)
zem
+5 -0
good work smiley bone
good work smiley bone
jyuu
+0 -0
An instance that showcases how little Ray sometimes seems to understand Beef and his childhood; if he realized how detrimental to Beef's self-esteem Gramma K's treatment of Beef throughout his life was, would he still be so worried about her?
An instance that showcases how little Ray sometimes seems to understand Beef and his childhood; if he realized how detrimental to Beef's self-esteem Gramma K's treatment of Beef throughout his life was, would he still be so worried about her?
nilehus
+1 -0
I give this five because I have the same first name and middle initial as Samuel H. Invisible.
And I like how Beef says seven days rather then a week.
I give this five because I have the same first name and middle initial as Samuel H. Invisible.
And I like how Beef says seven days rather then a week.
xiaomimi
+11 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: I forgot to tell you about what happened at McDonald's!
Little Nephew: Uncle Ray got peen!
Hey, an early Leo Fontinette appearance in Ray's blog!
Today's Blogs
Ray: I forgot to tell you about what happened at McDonald's!
Little Nephew: Uncle Ray got peen!
Hey, an early Leo Fontinette appearance in Ray's blog!
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
you can tell that Ray has memories of Beef's childhood with Samuel H. Invisible.
you can tell that Ray has memories of Beef's childhood with Samuel H. Invisible.
gussiejives
+0 -0
Freddie Fractions and Montmartre on the other hand stick with Beef.
Freddie Fractions and Montmartre on the other hand stick with Beef.
zorglemeister
+0 -0
A comment left by zorglemeister was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by goatmasterflash, layzerblade, leftsaidtim, LaserBlade, yomimono)
A comment left by zorglemeister was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by goatmasterflash, layzerblade, leftsaidtim, LaserBlade, yomimono)
rowboat
+0 -0
Folks hate you because of God's curse on you.
Apparently.
Folks hate you because of God's curse on you.
Apparently.
layzerblade
+0 -0
Either you're trolling or you really have Asperger's. Either way, your comment was lame, so I lamed it.
Either you're trolling or you really have Asperger's. Either way, your comment was lame, so I lamed it.
singtralala
+0 -0
i'd love a book about the circumstances beef is from
i'd love a book about the circumstances beef is from
otterpops
+0 -0
Roast Beef's childhood was so miserable.
Roast Beef's childhood was so miserable.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I keep thinking Samuel L. Jackson's middle initial is H. because of this comic.
I keep thinking Samuel L. Jackson's middle initial is H. because of this comic.
fermatprime
+0 -0
i am starting in on grant morrison's the invisibles right now and i can't help but think of samuel.
i am starting in on grant morrison's the invisibles right now and i can't help but think of samuel.
panamajack
+1 -0
"Interesting that Jesus Christ and Samuel Invisible share the same middle name. Perhaps this 'Samuel' is deeply rooted in the Judeo-Christian tradition of redepmption and salvation in the same way Jesus is, especially considering what's going on in Roast Beef's life right now." --Excerpt from my thesis, [i]Webcomic Wizardry: Magical Sex Blokes and Jesus[i/].
"Interesting that Jesus Christ and Samuel Invisible share the same middle name. Perhaps this 'Samuel' is deeply rooted in the Judeo-Christian tradition of redepmption and salvation in the same way Jesus is, especially considering what's going on in Roast Beef's life right now." --Excerpt from my thesis, [i]Webcomic Wizardry: Magical Sex Blokes and Jesus[i/].
carlyle
+0 -0
I hear the tune in my head, it is fmailiar but without name
I hear the tune in my head, it is fmailiar but without name
razorman57
+0 -0
I just realized something, everytime i scroll down one scroll-thing, i have to click. What the FUCK is wrong with me?
I just realized something, everytime i scroll down one scroll-thing, i have to click. What the FUCK is wrong with me?
When my new roomie asked me who was going to cook him dinner last night, I rejoined with "Samuel H. Invisible". He didn't understand.
Should you really be living with someone who doesn't understand Achewood references?
That can be fixed, more to the point should he really be living with someone who expects him to cook for them?
A comment left by deancain29 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by _cheesekayke, farqussus, Dwilow, retinarow, apres, Eraia)
Dude, there are also people who just haven't been introduced to Achewood yet.
Those are the worst kind of people! I mean seriously, what the fuck is wrong with them?
And for those who haven't heard of it, show them, and if they don't laugh and instead cease reading, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.
Nice biblical reference there.
A comment left by deusoma was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by aseidel, TheLoneliestMonkey, Doc_Rostov, apres)
I just had a grim vision of the future wherein the entire education system is rooted in Achewood like a sacred text.
The Cure two minutes' hate
Ketel One in the water fountains
Vegans left to die of exposure at birth
Grim?
How would we know they are vegan
Because they would dress like hobos even though they live with their parents.
at birth?
Yes, that was the joke.
A comment left by greenkoolayd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Mangtastic, logic, Appers)
Actually, that was the maybe-subtle little joke. Nature vs. nurture, &c.